#Put him under the tree

[froggapi-writes]

🩷┆Santa, Baby No Outbreak AU!Joel x Fem!Reader

Fluff You and Ellie convince Joel to dress up as Santa for a charity event.

Warnings Joel being HOT in everything!!! Also minor suggestive jokes, y'all are married and have a kid (Ellie), no outbreak AU! Words 1461

☞ Masterlist

— “It'd make a perfect gift...for Christmas.😏” One-Shot

It was a rare Saturday evening in the Miller household. The air smelled faintly of freshly baked cookies and the musk of pine from the tree. Outside, the snow fell in fluffy, gentle flurries, creating a picture-perfect winter scene that, honestly, could have come straight out of a Hallmark movie. But you weren't in a Hallmark movie. No, you were in the real world, which meant things were about to get... interesting.

Joel Miller, the grumpy, stubborn man you had been living with for the past few years, was sprawled on the couch, nursing a cold beer while watching some old western film. His worn flannel shirt clung to his chest, and he grumbled every now and then at the screen, as if he could somehow change the outcome with his disapproval. But the night wasn’t going to end in typical Joel fashion. You and Ellie had plans.

Ellie, your bright, mischievous teenage daughter, sat on the other couch, scrolling through her phone, a grin tugging at her lips. You’d been plotting for days, trying to figure out the perfect way to convince Joel to do something utterly ridiculous. And Ellie was always up for a little chaos.

“Hey, Mom,” Ellie said, looking up from her phone with an innocent smile. "You know what would be really funny?”

“Don’t even start,” Joel muttered, barely glancing up from his movie.

“No, seriously,” she continued, undeterred. “I’m talking about something that would really bring some holiday cheer to this house. And, you know, maybe to the whole town...”

You raised an eyebrow. You could already feel the drama in the air. “What were you thinking, Ellie?”

She sat up a little straighter, her eyes gleaming with excitement. “We should totally get Dad to dress up as Santa Claus for the charity event tomorrow. It’s for a good cause, and it would be so hilarious.” She turned to Joel, who was now giving her a side-eye. “Dad, I mean, you’ve got the whole ‘beard and gruff demeanor’ thing down already. You’d be perfect!”

Joel let out a low, annoyed grunt. “Hell no.”

“Oh come on, Dad,” you said, leaning over the arm of the couch with a smile that you hoped would be irresistibly sweet. “It’s just for one night. Think of all the little kids who will get to sit on Santa’s lap and tell him their wishes. Think of the joy you’ll bring, Joel. The happiness.”

Joel’s lips twisted into that familiar half-smile that made him look like he was both entertained and mildly irritated at the same time. “You think I’m gonna put on some stupid red suit and pretend to be jolly for a bunch of kids? Not in a million years.”

“Oh, come on, please,” you pleaded, eyelashes batting sweetly. “You’d look so adorable. And you’d be doing something good for the community. You know, spreading some Christmas spirit. Just think about how much fun it would be!”

Ellie, who was an expert in persuasion (mostly because she had spent years convincing you to let her stay out later than you intended), joined in, her voice now a perfect blend of child-like and mischievous. “Yeah, Dad. We could even take a picture of you in the outfit. You’d be a legend around town. Imagine all the ‘Santa Joel’ memes that would pop up. People would never forget.”

Joel’s scowl deepened. He set his beer down with a heavy sigh. “Y’all are ridiculous. There’s no way I’m doing this.”

But Ellie wasn’t done yet. “Dad, remember last year when we barely had enough money for Christmas presents?” She raised an eyebrow. “This is for charity, remember? The money goes to families who actually need it. You could help them. You could be a hero, Dad.”

For a moment, Joel’s tough exterior wavered. His eyes softened just a fraction, and you knew Ellie was playing her trump card. There was no way he could resist doing something for the community after everything that had happened. You had both played the long game.

Joel finally let out an exaggerated sigh. “Fine. But I’m not wearing no stupid hat.”

Ellie and you exchanged a look, both of you struggling to contain your victorious grins. You’d won.

“Deal,” Ellie said quickly, a smirk forming on her lips.

_____

The next day, you stood in the living room, trying not to burst out laughing. Joel had, begrudgingly, put on the tacky Santa suit you had bought, and the sight of him was... well, it was something. The suit barely fit him—the pants were too short, and the jacket strained around his broad shoulders, but that wasn’t what made it so hilarious. No, what really got you was the fact that, despite everything, Joel Miller looked damn good in that outfit.

You'd always known Joel was handsome, but something about the combination of his dark hair, his weathered features, and the jolly red suit made your heart skip a beat. The suit wasn’t a perfect fit—in fact, it was a little ridiculous—but he wore it with an undeniable swagger that had you feeling... distracted. You tried not to stare, but it was hard.

“Do I look like an idiot?” Joel grumbled, his arms crossed over his stomach as he stood in the middle of the living room, glaring at you both.

Ellie, whose phone was already snapping pictures, nodded enthusiastically. “Yep. But it’s perfect. You look like a Christmas miracle.”

You stepped closer, trying to be discreet about how much you were appreciating the view. “You actually look... kind of... uh, good,” you said, your voice catching slightly as you forced yourself to focus on his face instead of his muscles pressed against the fabric.

Joel blinked at you, clearly taken aback. “What? Are you serious?”

You felt your cheeks heat up, pinking a bit as you spoke. “I mean, in a ‘Santa Claus’ kind of way. It’s just... the suit really does something for you, Joel.”

Ellie snorted. “Mom, don’t be obvious. We all know you’re secretly into the idea of Santa Joel.”

Joel rolled his eyes. “Y’all are insane.” He glanced at the clock on the wall. “We’re gonna be late for this thing if you two don’t stop laughing.”

You couldn’t help but giggle. “Sorry, Joel. You’re just... unexpectedly handsome in that suit.”

Joel grumbled something under his breath but then straightened up, trying to look more like the Santa Claus you knew he wasn’t.

_____

When you arrived at the event, you had to admit, Joel was, if not entirely comfortable, at least pulling off the Santa role better than anyone could have expected. He grumbled as kids approached him to ask for their Christmas wishes, but when he handed out candy canes with a scowl that could’ve scared the Grinch into submission, it only made the kids love him more.

You watched from the sidelines as Joel awkwardly posed for pictures, his arms crossed protectively over his bulging red belly, the belt of the Santa suit straining around his waist. Ellie was having the time of her life, sneaking in behind him for selfies and laughing when Joel tried (and failed) to look “serious” for a photo.

At one point, one of the little girls approached Joel with wide, hopeful eyes. “Santa, can I ask for a puppy for Christmas?”

Joel looked down at the girl, his glare deepening as he itched his beard. “Look, sweetheart, I’m just the guy who shows up. You gotta talk to your folks about the dog situation.”

You bit your lip to hold back a laugh, watching as the little girl looked disappointed, but then she brightened up when Joel handed her a candy cane with a gruff, “Here, kid. Don’t tell your parents I gave you extra sugar.”

It was moments like these, watching Joel Miller try to be Santa, that made everything feel right.

_____

As the event wrapped up and you and Ellie headed home, Joel still hadn’t shed the Santa suit, though he was clearly done with the whole “Christmas spirit” thing. Ellie’s excitement hadn't dimmed at all, teasing filling the silence the whole car ride home.

You glanced over at Joel as he drove, his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly. Despite everything, there was something undeniably cute about the way he looked in that suit. You tried to act casual, but when your eyes met his, you couldn't help but smirk as your fingers traced down his arm.

"Joel," you said coyly, "You really do look good in red."

He shot you a sideways glance. "I swear, woman, if you don’t stop looking at me like that, I might have to put both of us on the naughty list."

With that, you knew that Christmas had come early. 😉

[buthearmeouttho]

If I was part of the MCU (Christmas Eve:3)

Natasha: have you seen Cat?

Wanda: no, I haven’t seen her all day.

Sam: huh, weird, me neither.

doorbell: *rings*

Yelena: I got it. *opens door*

Me, who has Bucky kidnapped and stuck in wrapping paper with a bow on his head: hi auntie Yelena:3

Yelena:

Yelena: come in, child. You are too small to be in the cold. You will freeze.

Bucky: wow thanks for the concern

Yelena: shush you are present you can’t talk

Nat: Catherine! What did you do?

Me: kidnap the lonely sad man what does it look like I did

[backpackingspace]

Okay so with the line "the olive tree where we first met" we have two equal hilarious options.

When penelope was sassily like oh I'll marry you if you make a living bed out of this tree right here! Cue penelope stumbling over odysseus very very carefully digging up the tree "because how else is he going to get it to itacha we can't have a wedding bed out in the open in sparta duh"

Or

2. Penelope, knowing that Helen's suitors would soon be arriving to take over her home for a while. Snuck out and went on her own wacky shenanigan filled journey where she scoped out all the major players. Odysseus caught her spying in an olive tree. And when she got back she told Helen she had dibs on the cutie from itacha.

[ecstarry]

regulus trying his best to follow along as james explains what his family does on three kings day but regulus just absolutely losing it when james gets to the part of finding mini baby jesus figurines inside the cake but it’s all good and sweet because they go downstairs and there’s a pair of shoes next to james’ under the tree and it has presents and reg just melts into james

[quakearts]

Merry Christmas Jinbe is all the gift I need

[sorchathered]

And his name is Lewis Pullman.

[imperfectcourt]

I want comfortable summer college jock Neil wearing a tank top, scars on full display, enjoying the sun and being stupid with his best friend Matt with no cares of the (surprisingly few) stares. He's a junior, he's old news on campus, nobody gives a shit about his drama anymore, he's captain of the exy team and he's having a waterballoon fight with Matt on the quad nearest Fox Tower and having the type of fun that passersby badly want to join in on but don't have the confidence to

[hyunpic]

[russellius]

via

[mothrasmash-blog]

Christmas came early

[plutonium-sky]

…. I think there may be a reason why he walks around without a mask-

Shitpost under cut thats inspired by a dream

[tiger-in-the-flightdeck]

Leonard 'Cold As Ice' Snart: Huh. It's been almost twenty minutes since I explained to a murderer just how much Flash and I like each other. I better do something about that.

[fatedroses]

When you're the emperor of an entire nation and undoubtably have countless very important things to do...

...but you instead drive over to your friend's estate deep in the mountains to surprise him, just to be a normal person for a little while.

(Aka he's hiding out so he can nap in the arboretum for a couple days.)

[malicious-fisheeves]

Showing this random caterpillar that wandered into my house my fish tank

[multishipper001]

⚠️Under the oak tree spoiler from chapter 99⚠️

I catched up on the manhwa as I haven't been reading the updates for a while and BITCH THE SCREAM I LET OUT AT THIS SCENE

Ok, so, one thing you have to know is that I don't like Riftan. That man is nothing but a grown baby on steroids, and he has none of my respect. He's basically a self-centered asshole, and he seems no issue with bossing my girl Maxi around as long as he has his way.

So, as usual, Mr.Ego couldn't handle that his wife did something he didn't approve of, and like the manchild he is, he decided to use his pent up frustration to make his poor wife fucking MISERABLE.

Like DUDE. Even if the characters don't know about Maxi's backstory, it's clear as day that our girlie has issues. She finally tries opening up and standing up for herself, and this bitch, instead of helping the wife he "loves" so much, he just becomes one of her problems.

And no, I don't give a fuck how hot he looks like, a dick is a dick. Man, that guy gets a fucking meltdown whenever Maxi dares do do anything that he doesn't agree with.

Poor girl, how many times had she told Riftan that she doesn't want all the "princess treatment" and spoiling, and this fucker just DOESN'T LISTEN TO HER AT ALL. Then, obviously (:D) he gets mad that Maxi doesn't like something she stated she has no need for.

I get it, Maxi is quite fragile, especially compared to a knight, but that doesn't mean she's some helpless kid😭 every fucking character that spent time with Maxi starts noticing her development and that she's not the whiny spoiled rich kid they imagined her to be... EXCEPT FOR RIFTAN

He's supposed to be Maxi's biggest support, you know, being her HUSBAND and all, but noo, he'd have to make an effort to pull his head out of his ass, which seems to be a sacrifice he's not capable of making.

And Maxi, poor girl, she's trying SO hard to adjust to this man's whims and tantrum, but what's enough is enough. Any other woman who's been raised in a good environment would've left this man by now, but she thinks Riftan is hot stuff bc her dad was, somehow, even worse than this rat.

And THIS PART, THIS PART IN THE MANHWA

When she got mad I almost threw my phone across the room because GODDAMN FUCKING FINALLY GIRLLL

It was about damn time this ridiculous behaviour pissed you off. When I tell you I was READY for a good female-rage part to come... Which didn't, but whatever...

Being angry at people who treat you badly/abuse you is a part of recovery and I'm glad she's going forward 💕 I honestly love every character about this story...

EXPECT FOR RIFTAN. THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME LOVE YOU, ASSHOLE

I'm a bit shocked about him, actually. Cause he's supposed to be the love interest & as a reader I'm supposed to root for him and Maxi to get together and fall in love.... If only he wasn't such a rat, it'd be easy.

Too bad his development peaked when he was five (and have been declining ever since)

[ljubimaya]

Someone: What do you wanna get for Christmas?

Me: