#Puppetmaster JJ

[egopocalypse]

His Universe

You don't know how you got here.

You don't know where your consciousness begins or where your memory ends. All you know is that you woke up in this dark room in this cold metal chair, your wrists shackled behind your back, and have been waiting here ever since for your supposed captor to address you.

But the man before you is unexpected. You've heard tales of the puppet master, the demonic beast with the bloody gash ripped across his throat, who steals people off the street and from their homes to have them dance on his strings. That was who you expected when first woke up in this place.

This man, however, has no gash on his throat. He has no strings attached. He doesn't even have a knife spinning in his hands, sharp enough to trace through the thickest skin.

Well, not one you can see, anyway.

"A knife, you say?"

Oh, that's different. Did he hear your thoughts, or had you foolishly said them aloud?

The man steps further into the spotlight, rings glinting off the pristine white gloves he wears. The gloves are fitted perfectly to his hand, molded to them like a second skin, yet they obscure just enough to add mystery and elegance to his dapper veneer. 

"Well, I may not have the extensive collection that others do, but I do have something rather unique, if I can show you."

Though you hear a voice (do you?) in your head, his mouth has yet to move. Instead, his hands flash in front of you, ensnaring your vision as the rings draw your eyes to the motions.

He's signing, and yet you can translate it perfectly. How does he do that?

"This watch was given to me by my grandfather." You blink. He's moved again, pulling out an old pocket watch from his breast pocket, and he drapes the chain over a hook above you, allowing the closed cover to hang in front of your eyes as he signs. "He referred to it as le serviteur de la lune, due to the unique capacity to reflect the moon’s current phase. Would you like to see?"

You nod. The cover is gorgeous, shining with an image of the full moon in front. If the front is so fascinating, you long to see how breathtaking the watch itself is.

Dutiful, the man unclasps the cover, opening it to reveal the face. You withhold a gasp, taken in by silver accents against a platinum base.

"Quite beautiful, yes?" The man beams, pleased by your enraptured gaze. He signs behind the watch, keeping it in your sight as he continues. "See how the moving hands obscure the moon, drawing it closer and closer to darkness. First to a waning gibbous, then a quarter, then a crescent, all the way down to nothing. The hands do this, but so do the gears, turning and pulling each other as they are meant to."

You focus on each part as he names it. Silver gears peek through a glass case in the center, directly tied to the twitching hands that tick in a perfect rhythm. The beat is all you can hear as you gaze upon the main star of the watch, the moon lit up in the background as if it envelops the entire watch. It's a stunning work of art, and you can't help but stare at it, blown away by its craftsmanship.

He stops signing, pausing for a brief moment to tap the middle of the glass. "Watch the gears for me, dear. Do you see how they work in perfect time, urging the others to do their part in ensuring the watch works as it’s meant to? Do you see how alike to us they are, where people who move as they’re meant to work happily, but those who disrupt order" - the watch snaps shut, and you jerk back in surprise - "ruin the experience for everyone?"

Disrupt order? Who would want to do that? If a gear stops, so does the rest of the clock, and the watch is too pretty to have a single gear stop it.

But... Why does it seem so important to let it stop? Why is there the nagging need to stop it? You want it to keep going. You don't ever want to let it stop.

He nods his assent. Very good. "It's rude, isn’t it, to squander other people’s joy, to strip away the peace they hold so dearly? Why let them suffer and add to your misery, when you can share the warmth that shields them against the icy clutches of sorrow? The home, the hearth, has always been sacred, and you wish to join it. You wish to belong."

Understanding dawns in your chest. You have wanted to belong, haven't you? You've yearned for it for so long. How are you only just realizing this dream now?

"You have a place in this universe, my friend," he assures you. "You have one here with me. In this home, in this hearth, under this moonlit sky. There is no need to feel frostbitten misery when the warmth of peace wraps around you, like stepping into a soothing bath after a long day." 

He pulls the watch to the side and drops it, allowing it to swing back and forth. The ticking grows louder, echoing in time with your pulsing heart. "Step in, my dear," he beckons. "Let all your worries wash away and feel the warmth envelop you, from your toes all the way up to your head. Bask in it, and all the while, look at the moon, and the changes phases that consume your gaze."

You don't remember when your mouth dropped, but the line of drool down your chin is a faint gnat that's squashed by the dazzling watch. You can't look away. You don't want to look away. Not when this is the most alluring sight you've ever seen, when these are the most comforting words someone has ever shared with you.

"You deserve this peace. You deserve to feel warm, to be happy. But only if you look towards the moon." The warmth floods through you, encasing you in comfort. A drowsy sigh leaves your lips, and the man's lips twitch before he continues. "See the changing phases unfold, see the gears within churn away as they are meant to, as you are meant to move with them. See the hands of le serviteur de la lune tick away. The passage of time does not matter to you. The worries of the past no longer consume you. All you need is this warmth, this peace, this moon that only I can give you.

The light glints off the face, mesmerizing you, and you can't look away even as a figure behind you cups your cheeks. It only breaks when the figure tilts your head back, silken gloved hands lifting it to meet the man's sparkling blue eyes.

"Your place within the universe starts here, my pet. It starts and ends with me."

You nod. The warmth has yet to cease, and the peace it brings you feels better than anything you’ve ever experienced. This is what he gives you, and you accept it wholeheartedly.

The watch and ticking are long gone, but you don’t miss it as he swallows your gaze. They’ll be back. You just have to be good. “Share your thoughts with me, my dear,” he commands. “Allow me to hear your gratitude.”

You’re pleased to be his pet. You’re pleased to be in his service.

Everything starts and ends with Him.

@miishae @skyewardlight @mad-men-inc @scarlet-mangata @platinumdistorsio @shadowtigress2

[kisstheashes]

If you still have the time for it, how about "delirious" with puppet!master JJ and any other egos of your choice?

whoops so this has an OC, not an ego, I hope that’s okay!

It had looked like a normal house, inside and out. A bit rustic- however, he was in quite the rustic area. Jameson sat on the worn couch as he waited for his friend, taking note of the splitting upholstery. His friend had just moved here- it was a shame the past owner hadn’t taken care of such beautiful furniture. Jameson smiled as his friend entered the room, raising his hands in excitement. His bright blue eyes sparkled and his frame lit up with silent mirth. “George, it has been quite a while! How have you been fairing?” he signed.

His friend, George, was young like Jameson, but for all intents, looked much older. His years as a charming and competent blacksmith had worn him. “Ah, I’m doing quite well! This meeting is not about me, however. This is about you!” Jameson tilted his head a bit, his smile still playing on his face. “Now, I know you have been struggling lately, with your health. You hide it well, my friend.”

Jameson lost the extra sparkle to his eye, sinking into the couch. He took a deep breath. “Most of it is in my hands, friend. I am fine. The weakening joints are because I am mute. There is no cure for that- unless I stopped talking.” He paused, a rare, cynical smile on his face. “And stopped sword fighting. Unfortunately.” He fondled the hilt of the sword George had given him as a birthday gift.

George put his hand on Jameson’s shoulder. “It will worsen and spread, James. I know someone who can correct it. It…will cost more than any money you can give. As all magic does.” He smiled, tightlipped and sincere. “Though she has assured me the benefits far outweigh the cost.”

Jameson’s eyes widened as magic was mentioned. Yes, he had heard of the craft, through the mouths of schoolmates who were far from being the ladies and gentlemen they ought to be. He had assumed all talk had been caused by rumors, and nothing more. His lips quirked into a smirk, mischievous sparkle in his eye. “I am most curious of these pros and cons, friend. It would be an interesting and informative visit if it is nothing else.”

George laughed, rattling Jameson by the grip on his shoulder. “I knew you would agree, James! You always had a secret passion for the dark parts of life.”

He laughed silently, shoulders shaking. “Yes, it will be a fun time.”

One word prompts

[rgbsuperherx]

[Tag Dump]

[beerecordings]

JJ sparks joy, even Anti agrees

yes hahaha JJ is almost always Anti’s favorite puppet in my ideas. he’s like “bro you created him on Halloween?? you might as well have written my name on his forehead.” probably he takes him just to spite the others but then about two days in he’s like “oh kdjfnkdf fuck he’s soooo cute” and JJ is just like glaring at him from the other side of his puppet box all annoyed and Anti is meltinggggg. that one!! is his!! JJ stabs him in the throat once and Anti is just so overjoyed :’) they really are cut from the same cloth :’) takes after his puppetmaster what can he say <3333

Anti while JJ visibly struggles to get out of his arms: i’ve only had Dapper for a day and a half but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this room and then myself

[rogue-of-broken-time]

SUSPENSION– Part 5 

— 

"What do you mean, he's gone?" Marvin asked in alarm, also rising to his feet along with the rest of them.

"I dunno, dude! He's just… gone!" Chase yelled back, clearly in denial that he hadn't been able to make it to his friend before he'd vanished.

"… sh*t," Jackie murmured, beginning to shake his head rapidly. "Sh*t!"

"I hate everything about this," Henrik put in softly, adjusting his glasses with trembling hands. Then, balling them into fists of pure German rage, he looked to Jackie. "It's all your fault! You're the one who dragged us all here!"

"Hey, wait!" the jock tried to defend, backing away as Henrik ran at him. "Stop! Henrik!"

"Guys, cool it!" Anti shouted, coming over to break them apart, and the sharp edge of his voice was enough to separate them. "Fighting amongst ourselves won't get us anywhere!"

"He's right, you know," Marvin added, his eyes glittering with fear and curiosity. "Our priority right now should be finding JJ. I'm sure he's just fine…"

"Uh… guys?" Chase's voice suddenly said, cutting them all off. He refused to look away from where he was shining his flashlight on the wall above the fireplace…

"What?" Marv asked, after a long, confusing pause.

Chase swallowed, and his eyes went wider.

"I think I found him."

Narrowing his gaze and shaking his head a little, Anti walked over to him.

"What are you talking about? Wh–"

It wasn't until his own eyes followed the beam that he was cut off from his thought.

The painting on the wall had… changed. Instead of the fading face of the grotesque man, a wide, wicked grin now spread across his visage, with piercing green eyes.

And… standing limply on the stage, dangling from the puppetmaster's strings… was Jameson.

—

"… what the f*ck?" Anti muttered, almost wanting to back away.

"What's going on?" asked Jackie, pushing past Henrik and Marvin to come get a closer look for himself, freezing in his footsteps when his gaze fell on the painting. His eyes went wide. "What the… what the hell?"

Before long, everyone was surrounding the fireplace, their focus locked on their friend.

"How is this possible?" Henrik found himself asking, taking a half-step closer.

Even Marvin shook his head slightly. "I… I don't know."

There was a long pause as a tremor went through the group.

"Guys?" Chase wondered quietly. "Did… did we seriously get JJ killed?"

Another flash of lightning and rumble of thunder shook the house as the thought sank in.

"He… he can't just be dead," Jackie tried to reason. "If he'd died, his body would still be here."

"Jackie's right," Marv put in, nodding, then shaking his head. "This… this is something else. Something… worse."

A sudden tap tap tap on the shoulder made Anti flinch, and the reaction put everyone else on their toes.

"What was that?" Chase asked fearfully, finally shining his flashlight away from the painting, towards Anti's side of the room.

"I…" he started, seeing nothing in the light. "I don't know, I… thought I felt someone tap me on the shoulder."

As he kept looking, he squinted a bit, and when he did, he began to see something… an outline… but as he opened his eyes again, it disappeared.

"Chase?" Anti said, suddenly curious. "Turn off the flashlight."

He felt Chase's breath catch in his chest behind him. "No way, dude. I'm not risking any more weird sh*t tonight."

"Turn off the damn light, Chase," Anti repeated, his gaze unmoving.

Afraid of what he might do if he disobeyed again, he clicked his flashlight off, leaving the group in darkness.

At first, nothing seemed to happen. But then…

As his eyes adjusted, Anti began to see it happening. It started with his shoulders, climbing down his arms and up to his neck, then working its way up and down the torso until…

Standing in the shadows, waving his hands desperately to get their attention, was Jameson. He was just barely visible, but Anti could just make out where the wall ended and he began…

He shook his head a little. "… JJ?"

As he said his name, he became less transparent, though remaining in monochrome– he opened and closed his hands, as if feeling something happening– and as soon as he became clear to see again, they could all see in his eyes that he was equally as alarmed as all of them were.

"Wh… what happened to you, dude?" Chase asked quietly once he, too, made out the image of his friend.

Jamie could only shrug back to them, clearly also confused about his state of being.

Finally, Marvin stepped forward and extended his hand out toward him. There was a momentary pause, then Jameson hesitantly came closer and reached for it with his own hand, making contact for only a moment before his fingers passed through Marv's palm.

Jackie let out a confused, concerned sigh before murmuring to himself. "What the f*ck happened?"

"And so this bloody house claims its newest victim," said a new, echoing voice from behind them, foreign to everyone except Anti. It finished with a sad chuckle. "This one can't even cry for help."

As it spoke the words, Anti's mind started ringing with a tone he couldn't place. It… hurt, but also seemed familiar, in a way…

"Hello?" Marvin called out, looking up and around the room, trying to spot movement in the darkness without success. "Who's there?"

The small laugh continued to resonate through all of them as Jameson suddenly turned to his side, as if he saw something new…

This shadow was taller than JJ, and more faint around the edges. Its voice sounded a bit warped as it entered their ears, but was still legible enough for the boys to make out its words.

"You don't know me, and I don't know you," it went on as its features became clearer. "… not anymore, at least."

Rubbing his eye a little, Anti shook his head again. "What do you mean? Who are you?"

"I am nobody." He felt its presence approaching him, and the static tone in his mind got louder as it got closer. "Nobody you would know. But… I'm not here to hurt you, or your friend."

Marv narrowed his eyes. "And how can we trust you?"

"Because, I can tell you what happened to him," the voice finished, finally manifesting itself next to Jamie and looking them all in the eyes. "It's what happened to all of us."

—

(author's note: Things Are About To Get Spoopy™!)

@a-septic-mind

[10ths-writing-corner]

your puppetmaster!JJ drabble was so so good! is,,,there any more lurking around?

This is the other one I have. But I could write more if you send me a prompt with him and an ego ùwú

[successionthemesong]

we really waited 2 goddamn years expecting JJ to do better than Rian Johnson when in fact he has been the the evil puppetmaster all along... the Palpatine to Rian’s Snoke if you will

[septic-dr-schneep]

Jameception! It also has so much angst waiting; so many little puppets in one place, a dangerous thing when there’s a puppetmaster in their midst! -y.a.a

Ahh, wouldn’t it just be perfect for PM JJ to get a finger in every pie in every universe? :3c Although he’ll have to be careful just how far he goes beyond his boundaries.

[seagullsausage]

guys I'm gonna go off here for a sec so we always talk abt how jj feels about anti and how awful he was and stuff BUT concept: anti needing jj way more than jj needs anti

like yeah anti manipulating and hypnotizing and torturing jj and shit to turn him into a puppet and jj being messed up from it and not knowing how to move on but have you considered why anti would be so keen on keeping this poor guy all to himself?? what if anti, who suffers from intense pain every waking second of his life from his glitching and anger, who constantly has to fight for control, lonely and rejected and seen as something horrible, aching to have a body of his own to drive away his suffering, realizes that having a human puppet to keep around to do your bidding and fuck around with isn't just a tactical thing, its fucking wonderful?

anti depending on Jameson to literally live, feeding off his energy, using his body, having someone else around just for the company? having somewhere he can always go to when hes hurt or sick or suffering––jj’s body is solid and meant to hold him, and jj is so very warm and soft and quiet––or having another being who he can be himself around, who he can talk to about whatever without scaring or disgusting the other person, who can give him the attention he wants without having to go to extreme lengths to get it?? anti having his very own human, anti knowing exactly where jj is at any given time and knows that he can return to if hes tired or in need, anti having something to take care of to keep him busy, anti having someone around for him to love and to be loved by without the risk of that someone leaving him???

like yeah hes a demon and evil puppetmaster or whatever and he doesnt want his toys running away, but maybe hes overly possessive of Jameson because he depends on him so fucking much and even might love him a little bit?? him holding this human who make him so very happy as close as he can, not caring what anyone else says, he would rather die than give up his wonderful lovely little puppet

and sure he might be pissed off if the other egos took him back from his control, like how they took his jack and Henrik back, but don't think about how fucking DEVASTATED he would be 

[huffle-dork]

J,y,z?

J: Write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic].

Can I say how glitched mind was supposed to continue? Cuz I dunno if I’m ever gonna come back to that but I really liked the idea- I just wasn’t sure where to go with it or if it made sense.

So! Glitched Mind has Illusion, Marvin hypnotized and brainwashed into a glitched puppet for Anti who has just made Jackie his own puppet. But, a puppet of a puppet isn’t going to be that strong of an influence- so when the “Calvary” stepped in of the other boys- Henrik, chase and jj were going to be able to break Jackie out of his mind controlled state pretty easily cuz Marvin’s influence isn’t nearly as strong as Anti’s. Especially with Anti keeping him under control- and this is where I got stumped cuz it’s like- I could do more examples of the same thing with the other boys but like that might get boring unless I figured out a way to make it different... but then!! Eventually- Illusion was gonna realize he needs something stronger than just his hyonotism so he takes Jackie away and remembers that Anti used his glitched on him- maybe he can do the same to Jackie to keep him. So he tries it but- Illusion isn’t as practiced as a glitch- he’s not born with it nor are these natural and as they try to take over Jackie- it’s clear that these could actually kill him. This actually starts to snap Marvin out of his brainwashing as he desperately tries to save Jackie. But then... the puppetmaster isn’t going to be happy his playthings broke their strings.

I always get such good ideas then like I go to write them and I’m just like... I’m tired- |D but yeah that’s what I wanted to do with Glitched Mind

Y: A character you want to protect.

M a r v i n

I know after all this pheonix stuff he can 5000% take care of himself but I still want to wrap him up in blankets and him a cup of tea- ...but preferably after he’s been in a fight or after a sickness cuz he’s also my favorite whumpee :D hdggdhg

Z: Major character death–do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can’t tolerate?

I can’t do death really... if I do write it it’s extremely rare. The idea of permanencey in my fics is something I kinda don’t want to establish too much? Like arcs are cool but death is too much. And like I’ve had too much death in my life and I dunno sometimes it feels like a cheap way to make people feel sad- I like finding new creative ways to get that good whump |D and I know I’m a big whump and angst writer but at the end of the day- I am a sucker for happy endings. Or at least a content, we can move on from this one. When even though they fought through hell, they lost a lot and changed, they’re scared of who they might have become or will become- at least there’s still tomorrow, and they have each other. Death just doesn’t give me that option much.

And in that vein I really try to avoid literature that has death in it? But like- I remember one of my fav book series was divergent- I fucking loved that book... and the last book I had a hard time finishing and my friend one day accidentally spoiled that one of the main characters died which is why it was the only book that traded POV’s. I was so upset I never finished it.

[willidleaway]

Star Wars, episode 9

In short: Without spoiling anything, remember how I was on about how Episode VIII was a good movie, a mediocre one, and a bad one fighting for space to each other’s detriment? And remember how this (I thought) left Episode IX with way more to bite off than it could chew?

Well, probably not, but it seems I had reason to worry. Episode IX is full of droids and spaceships and fights and explosions, but it also feels simultaneously empty and overstuffed. The plot isn’t stretched nearly as thin across so many parallel subplots as was the case with Episode VIII, but it’s still got two to three movies’ worth of story squeezed together into something resembling a supercut with just the essentials, and part of the problem seems to be it's more of a sequel to Episode VII than it is to Episode VIII.

So even though it competently hits familiar beats for fans of the original trilogy, and even though many people will like it well enough for that, it feels regressive and conservative and lazy. Good actors are wasted. Good characters are underused. Noise and nostalgia take precedence over sensible storytelling. It warrants more disappointment than anger, but maybe not a non-zero amount of anger, and it worries me about the future of Star Wars movies.

Spoiler-filled breakdown behind the Read More break.

In less short: OK, so let’s review where we were when Episode VIII ended:

Kylo Ren has killed Snoke and become Supreme Leader, with nobody to dictate his actions. Cool.

Rey’s parents are nobody and we shouldn’t be fussing about her heritage as if heroes always have chosen status or weird bloodlines. Cool.

The Resistance are basically now a ragtag crew that fits in a light freighter, with no allies to come to their rescue. ... This is a bit of a difficult spot to get out of.

Within the first 30 minutes of so, Episode IX sets it up so that:

Not only is Snoke not dead, but it turns out he was Sheev all along, and he’s still going to dictate Kylo Ren’s actions. Oh.

The Resistance is magically where it was at the end of Episode VII. Oh.

Then a bit further in—maybe an hour or so?—it turns out Rey has some kind of weird bloodline after all, namely Palpatine’s. Oh.

Palpatine being Snoke is annoying because Palpatine’s supposed to be dead and Snoke’s supposed to be dead, and when you have a long-dead Sith Lord that turns out to have been pretending to be a recently dead Supreme Leader, it seems reasonable enough to demand an explanation—none is given, of course.

The Resistance being magically reverted to its Episode VII state is understandable given the need to have Carrie Fisher in the movie through unused footage from that movie, but in view of all of the other retcons of Episode VIII, one can’t help but give this a bit of side-eye as well.

The retcon of Rey’s heritage is the real tell that

this is trying to be half of the trilogy all at once, which is a problem because it’s supposed to be the third act;

and in the process it’s also trying to erase a lot of the actual Episode VIII, which is a problem because it’s canon.

The thing is, much of what happens in the sequels could fit sensibly into three films with just a bit more work. Keep VII mostly as is; for VIII, trim the pointless safecracking subplot and the misguided mutiny subplot (and ideally replace them with a single subplot that keeps Poe and Finn in the same madness), and extend to include the reveal that Snoke was Palpatine and that Rey is his granddaughter; and then this leaves IX with enough breathing room to actually flesh out the implications of those reveals, the Force dyad, and so on, before moving on to the action of tracking down the Sith dagger and everything that ensues from there.

Of course, then it would follow exactly the beats of the original trilogy. Episode V ends with a big family reveal, and Episode VI then spends time dealing with the implications and reconciling the reveal with what was previously stated. But the sequels have been in such lockstep with the original trilogy that frankly I’m surprised that’s not what they went for to begin with.

Yet it makes sense when you take into account the completely on-the-fly plotting that the sequels have obviously been subjected to. VIII basically tore down some of the most delicious set pieces of VII—the mystery behind Rey’s identity, the presence of Snoke as Kylo Ren’s puppetmaster—and IX is basically tearing down that tearing-down. I know JJ Abrams wasn’t wholly responsible for the story of Episode IX, but it does feel quite a bit like he’s going ‘oh god no, that’s not what you were supposed to do with that from my movie! or that! or that! this is what you were supposed to do!’ and trying to build the house of cards back up. He’s not got enough time to do it right in two hours and a bit, and he knows it, but gosh darn it he’s still going to try. And maybe at some point he gets frustrated and yells ‘okay, Snoke was supposed to be a puppet of Palpatine, all right? just—just start the movie with that, it’ll be fine, because I don’t know how to even make that work with the carnage that Rian left behind’. So then facts are rapidly established and moved on from, because we’ve got a lot of ground to cover—mainly a lot of ground from VIII, to cover up.

It’s funny how the themes of these movies are supposed to be progressive—VIII was all about moving forward from failure and fear and despair, IX about recognising you are not alone and facing the problems of the world with that knowledge—and yet the plotting of these movies are continually regressive, retreating to ground already trodden to death by the original trilogy (both figuratively and, in the case of JJ’s films, literally—Death Star II, Endor, ...), and in many cases retreating within itself. A regressive strategy may work for prequels—after all things must gravitate towards the ground truth laid down by the originals—but it doesn’t work quite as well for sequels.

That’s really the key thing I wanted to say—IX feels insular, like it came from a parallel universe with a completely different JJ-led VIII and only realises it about ten minutes of the way in, and it feels a bit lazy falling back on clichés that VIII tried to explicitly preclude. But I do have some more specific thoughts on a few characters.

Rose: So, there was a lot of media buzz when VIII came out about Rose because ooh look she’s the first Asian woman to get any kind of significant screen time in a Star Wars movie isn’t that nice. And then there was a lot of racist and sexist abuse thrown at Kelly Marie Tran and that’s not very nice at all. And Rose’s character arc in VIII unfortunately overall turned out a bit lacklustre frankly so that’s just a bit mediocre. So clearly, given that Rose has been held up as this point of diversity in an otherwise not-terribly-intersectionality-friendly universe, we want to maybe shore this up a bit, right? Make sure that if Star Wars is going to have an Asian woman, that she’s going to be really prominent as things start going down in this last movie?

Erm, no. We’re just leaving her at the Resistance base to do tech things. Oh, we’ll bring her back out for the final battle, sure, and she’ll be part of the ground invasion, but for most of the movie you’ll barely realise that this was almost a major character in the last movie. The droids will have more agency and screen time than her.

Good choice, lads.

Hux and Pryde: VII wasted Max von Sydow, VII and VIII mostly wasted Gwendoline Christie, and now behold: the whole sequel trilogy wasted Domhnall Gleeson.

As demonstrated by performances in films like Brooklyn and Ex Machina, Domhnall Gleeson is actually an excellent actor, not merely competent. Yet in these movies, he doesn’t seem to have actually been given a role, only a caricature of one and a set of gags. First, he’s supposed to be a sort of perpetual rival to Kylo Ren—very mad, but very competent. Then, he’s basically openly laughed at by the Resistance and entirely subdominant to Kylo Ren. But finally in this movie, the writers remembered he’s supposed to be a peer, and makes him a mole out of spite against Kylo Ren, but basically absolutely nobody involved can take this seriously because of course it’s ridiculous. 

To be honest, I don’t see how they could have ever made a rival to Kylo work. Here’s a more compelling idea. How about this: a former Imperial officer, high enough in rank to occasionally report directly to the Emperor himself, obviously loses all of his power and prestige with the end of the Empire. But then the First Order rises up, and he somehow gets to head the First Order’s military forces—but has to report to this upstart, this Kylo Ren. It disgusts him to have to report to this undignified hull-tearing snot nose, but he does it because he knows that behind the mask of Snoke is the Emperor, having cheated death, and through his devotion and the devotion of many others, the Emperor will rise again and—Kylo Ren or no Kylo Ren—reclaim what is rightfully his!

Oh right that’d basically have been General Pryde if they’d thought of him back when they were making Episode VII.

And of course, Richard E Grant—star of Withnail and I, of Can You Ever Forgive Me?, and of many fascinating Doctor Who stories of various canonicity—is in this role, and good god that’s even more of a tragic waste because of what General Pryde could have been if they’d actually plotted out a proper trilogy and realised that someone like Pryde would have worked a lot better than someone like Hux as right-hand man to the main villain.

Still nowhere near as wasted as Gwendoline Christie, mind.

Jannah: Yeah, Jannah and her company are all right. I just mention her because I am so glad that we didn’t get another Mickey Smith and Martha Jones situation where the black people just got coupled up at the last minute. Just thought I’d mention that.

Poe/Finn: Look, it’s like Kirk/Spock, okay? All the subtext is there, and it’s just a matter of you reading between the lines. How you read between the lines is entirely up to you—I argue there is a place for deep platonic relationships as much as romantic relationships, homo- or hetero-gender (although there may be a personal bias involved here).

But let me just say this: in the original trilogy, you had a young Jedi trainee and a pilot and his rescuee, with the latter two having this bickering old married couple dynamic. Those two are absolutely an item by the end of the trilogy, as in they have their big rotten kiss at the end of VI. (Possibly at other points too. I couldn’t possibly tell you.)

In this sequel trilogy, you have a young Jedi trainee and a pilot and his rescuee, with the latter two having this bickering old married couple dynamic. So where’s my Poe/Finn kiss at the end of IX?

As I say, though, it’s like Kirk/Spock, and like Kirk/Spock, it’s such brilliant chemistry that you can always rely on fan fiction to compensate for the cowardice of the canon writers. But it’d have been nice to have some level of canon validation.

Kylo and Rey: Yeah, speaking of big rotten kisses ... That is not the kiss I wanted at the end of IX. You didn’t have Luke kissing Anakin at the end of VI, did you?

That’s my main complaint, really, and otherwise I still think Adam from Girls (I’m sorry that’s just how I think of Adam Driver for some reason??? even though I’ve never even seen Girls???) looks a bit goofy at times. But Kylo and Rey’s arc felt like one where they were equals (possibly the bloodline reveal helps a bit there), they worked together well, it had a reasonable conclusion, etc. The Force bond thing is still creepy, and still a bit weird in how you can pass matter back and forth, but I suppose it was established in VIII, and I happen to think the way it was used in this movie on Exegol was actually pretty brilliant.

The droids: You thought I was going to talk about C-3PO, but it was he, D-O!

Sorry, couldn’t resist. Overall, I'm still not entirely cleared up on what happened with the droids, actually. It seemed like there was just this whole roundabout subplot around Threepio only to return everything to status quo, and maybe D-O had some information they could probably have used to begin with???

Other miscellaneous thoughts:

How much study in the Living Force does it take to do the becoming-one-with-the-Force thing, anyway? We see that Leia and Ben both vanish into nothing after death, and Leia definitely is a Force ghost confirmed at the end. But I thought season 6 of TCW made it pretty clear that this required a lot of training and study, which is why Qui-Gon was training Yoda so that he could then presumably train Obi-Wan (as the end of III suggests) in the art of immortality. To be fair Anakin never was trained in this, but given that he’s the Chosen One, I think he gets a bit of slack on what Force powers he can use. Luke and Leia were never trained on screen, of course, but Luke had years to read all the sacred Jedi texts, and he knows Force Telepresence (still can’t be bothered to find the actual name of that), so I figure he’s a very good autodidact, and likely trained Leia at some point as well as a Force ghost. So where does that leave Ben? I don’t know, maybe the Force ghosting thing is just a thing that runs in the Skywalker bloodline.

‘The dead speak!’ is the goofiest way to open a crawl since ‘War!’ from Episode III. Another reason the Palpatine reveal should have just been towards the end of Episode IX.

Trebuchet jetpack troopers? Really? Was that meant to be threatening, hilarious, or both? Because I only found it hilarious.

Also oh hi Wedge. Also oh hi Hayden Christensen’s voice. God I wish they’d had his actual visual Force ghost alongside Luke and Leia.

Did ... did Maz do anything other than basically be at the base and then give Chewie a medal because har har we love making references to the original movies? No? ... What a waste of Lupita Nyong’o, then.

[egopocalypse]

Hi, can you write Jackie and JJ as puppetmasters? I want to see how you’d write them

Of course! Credit also to @lildevyl for this idea because I accidentally deleted their ask. I hope it was worth the wait. ;)

Puppetmaster Jackie:

“You want to help me protect them, don’t you? You want to help keep them safe.” Jackie holds Henrik’s head up, tilting it back to keep eye contact steady.

“Mhm... safe,” Hen mumbles, sighing as another wave of warmth sinks under his skin.

“They’ve been getting hurt far too much, risking their lives and health, and for what? A stupid video? A dangerous spell?” Jackie releases another pulse, a hint of a smile curling his lips. “The others are far too reckless for their own good. They need to be kept safe, kept here, and you’re the only person I trust to look out for them while I’m away.”

Henrik’s eyes glaze. He’s never felt so warm, so safe. He’d do anything to keep feeling like this.

“Will you help me?” Jackie brushes away sweat-soaked hair, grinning at the mewl that leaves Henrik’s throat. “Will you help keep them safe when I’m gone?”

“Always.”

Jackie drops Henrik’s head, rising from his chair. “Good.” He wipes his palms on his suit, fixing the doctor a cold stare.

“Then make sure they never leave.”

Puppetmaster JJ:

I always suspected you would be stubborn. He circles around Marvin, dress shoes clicking on the floor. Yet I must admit I never believed you would call him for help.

A hand snatches Marvin’s face, fingers digging into his jaw. Marvin glares, eyes flashing silver as contained power shakes his chains. “I am not someone you can control with your petty words and that fucking watch, Jameson,” he spits out. “I am power. I am the Earth. I could split the ground beneath us and watch you fall into the molten chasm below, and I wouldn’t even have a scratch.” He leans in as much as the chains allow. “So what make you think you can beat me?”

Jameson smirks, tapping the magician’s temple. The fact that I already have.

Before Marvin can blink, a silver pocket watch swings in front of his eyes, and JJ’s telepathic, hypnotic voice sinks into his mind. Amivercus.

He drops.

[kisstheashes]

That tiny ficlet with puppet master JJ reminded me that I found a tune kinda fitting for him lately! :0 "rattlesnake" by kabaret sybarit. Gotta thanks spotify algorithm for that good one

As *soon* as this song started I was just !!!! I fucking know this song. And I know it well enough to sing along, but I never?? Knew the name?? Wild. 

Anyway…uh. Yeah. It really kinda does doesn’t it.

…do I even need to say why it fits so well? XD

[lum1natrix]

Hey uh... Lum... heh. Well. What if. Anti uses the knife to like cut strings... like a puppetmaster. Like. Perhaps he cut JJ's strings and that's why he can't talk. This just popped into my head. I have nothing to back it up.

that’s the part of brainstorming, man. anything goes! and tbh i really like that idea so i’m down for it 100%

[beerecordings]

Hey Bee I'm writing Anti for the first time and as I was writing I came up with this spur-of-the-moment hc that Anti likes to quote himself, and when he he'll change his appearance to what he looked like when he said it. Like he'll say "I'm always watching" and his eyes will turn black and his hair will turn that faded yellow-green like it was in the PAX video when he said it (It's 100% intentional on his part because he's dramatic af but still super evil lmao). What do you think of that hc?

oh i LOVE that are you kidding?? like I see Anti as very obsessed with the past and all the times he feels he’s been slighted so he’s like changing his form to make sure every one remembers every single time Jack did him wrong and every single thing he did to get his revenge.

Whatever version of himself scares the person he’s with the most, that’s what he changes into. Chase is terrified of that red figure with the one green eye, Henrik’s triggered when he looks just like Jack but injured or sick, Jackie hates body horror and his form glitching so much it looks like he’s shattering into different bloody pieces, Marvin is set off by the traditional black-eyes two-horns goat-hoof Judeo-Christian demon, and JJ - JJ knows him as the puppetmaster, clutching a knife with his hands full of strings, beckoning, calm and clean and terrifying.

and i TOTALLY love him quoting himself, that sounds exactly right for Anti

[rogue-of-broken-time]

You're A Mean One, Mr. Glitch (2018 edn.)

🎶do dododo DOdo, dodo dodo-do🎶

You're a mean one, Mr. Glitch…

You really are insane-!

You're an evil puppetmaster and you've got Jack in your chains, Mr. Gli-ITCH!

When it comes to pumpkin-carving, you… really are a pain!~

~

You're a vile one, Mr. Glitch…

We know you're always here-!

You rarely show your face and yet you whisper in our ear, Mr. Gli-ITCH!

We understand now what he meant by… 'the embodiment of fear!'~

~

You're a cruel one, Mr. Glitch…

You trap Jack in his sleep-!

You probably have Chase hostage and you torment Dr. Schneep, Mr. Gli-ITCH!

And it was likely you who kept… JJ from making a peep!~

~

You're a sly one, Mr. Glitch…

Your words are like a maze-!

You said we passed your test and we'll move onto the next phase, Mr. Gli-ITCH!

It likely won't be long until we… once more meet your gaze!~

~

You're a monster, Mr. Glitch…

You really are a fright-!

Yet we kept our eyes upon you all throughout that silent night, Mr. Gli-ITCH!

Hopefully next time there will… be a hero to give you a fight!~

🎶do dododo DOdo, dodo dodo-DO🎶