#waiting to watch the sunrise

[blehrbie-blog]

Neteyam x Reader story

Sooo, I haven't written anything in genuine years. But after watching Avatar:TWOW I've become hyperfixated and have been scrolling and refreshing the Neteyam x Reader tag basically since the movie came out. As a consequence I've had this idea in the back of my mind that I thought was very sweet and cute (something we all need after that movie) so I decided to sit down and give it a go and see what comes out of my brain. So here it is. I haven't properly edited it and it's pretty much a 1000 words of word vomit and a bunch of time skips but it made me happy to write so I'm sharing it.

Oh, BTW SPOILERS!! but also I don't stick to the event's of the movie so idk I'm just putting it out there in case someone hasn't watched the trailer.

So the idea is our girl meets Neteyam informally for the first time when they're 9. She gets cornered in the jungle by a Palulukan and Neteyam helps her run away from it. She had always known who he is being the firstborn son of the Toruk Makto. She remembers her mom telling her about the big ceremony the Tribe had when he was first born. Everyone knew him.

- You shouldn't go into Palulukan territory without being careful - he says, looking a bit unsure about her now that there's no imminent danger.

- I didn't know I was in its territory

 - Don't wander off too far on your own then.

___________________________

After this meeting, you get closer and become friends, which means as a consequence you occasionally hang out with the rest of Neteyam's family. However, as he gets older and his Dad starts preparing him to be a warrior and later on Lo'ak as well you don't have as much time to spend as you once did laughing and roaming around in the jungle exploring thick forests and shallow pools of water. It's not like you have nothing to do with your life, you do! You've been thinking of taking up lessons from the Tsahik, to see how you can use the spirit of Eywa and nature to help people who are hurting. It just so happens that the Tsahik is Neteyam's grandmother so you sometimes end up seeing him come back from a mission with his father and you share sweet smiles from across the camp.

When the tribe moves to the floating rocks, you are required by the Tsahik to help those injured from the journey and the ones getting used to the new terrain. So you're even more often in the same circles. As you're working one day about to go over to help Ninat with her sprained ankle, someone taps you on the shoulder

-You seem busy with work. - says Neteyam smiling sweetly at you

-Oh! Yes, I was just about to start. How's your training going?

You hadn't spoken in a while, just a quick wave or nod when crossing paths throughout the day. You hadn't noticed but he towers over you by a couple inches now. He nods towards his dad who's speaking with Neytiri at the edge of their tent.

-You know, just the usual responsibilities of carrying on the legacy. - His eyes gaze into you softly, like he's memorizing your face after not seeing it for long. He shakes it off and looks down - Have you got many tasks today?

-Not too much actually, just need to check up on Ninat and prepare some medicinal salves.

- I want to see you later – He looks back up into your eyes and smiles – Maybe we can go on one of our expeditions like before.

You chuckle – Sure, I'd love that.

With a final nod of approval, he stalks away to his parent's side.

When you meet later towards sunset he's waiting patiently with his Ikran by the vines connecting the Hallelujah Mountains to the Jungle below.

-We won't go too far out into the jungle so we have time to come back before sunrise. - He says as he connects his Queue with the Ikran and gazes at you expectantly – Hop on.

Can I trust that I'll come back alive from this flight? - you raise a skeptical eyebrow. He only went through his Iknimaya ritual not too long ago.

He reaches out a hand to help you up onto the animal – I don't think Eywa would forgive me if I wasted you on a simple flight.

You smile warmly into his shoulder as you hold tight onto him feeling the powerful animal shift under you as you fly out.

Roughly 10 years later

____________________________

When he comes back from the Mitkayina islands. He's taller and broader and his hair is much longer pulled into a loose braid around his Queue. You have a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach when you first see him. He's magnificent and commanding in his presence. The tribe has gathered all around to accept him and Jake back with a warm welcome. And even though you're hidden by your fellow Na'vi, his eyes immediately find you in the crowd and issue an eager and warm smile on his face.

As soon as he has settled the greetings with the current Olo'eyktan and the Tsahik, he finds you – walking to your sleeping pod. You would have gone to say hello and see him up close but, honestly, you were a bit intimidated. What you now knew was a childhood infatuation with him all those years ago still couldn't handle seeing him all of a sudden in all his... perfect glory. You were a little intimidated. But that doesn't stop him from reaching out for you. You see him jog over with a grin. He grabs you by the shoulders about to pull you into a hug but stops himself at the last moment. His eyes roam you over from head to toe and he looks up with glistening eyes -You've grown! - His tone sounds almost unbelieving

-That tends to happen as time passes, yes – you chuckle, hands coming up to hold onto his arms. His strong arms.

-I'm not too sure what I expected you to look like but you're... way beyond any expectation – He sounds so awe-struck as he's still taking you in, that you start to feel a little embarrassed.

-I can say the exact same thing – You say as you meet his gaze again. As you do his face softens and he brings you into his arms finally.

-I missed you, my friend.

Your hand caresses his hair gently – I missed you too.

You break apart and you decide to go for some late food with him abandoning your plans of sleep.

_______________________

Months later, when they have their first kiss. It's a slow thing. He will say something dry-humoured in his soft voice and she'll forget to laugh too busy staring at him, realizing how in love she is. And has been all these years. And when he notices that she hasn't replied he'll look at her and know immediately. That she's realized, at last. And he'll come to hold her like she's the most precious thing in his world. He'll thread his fingers through her hair bringing her face close to his. Forehead pressed to hers, patiently waiting for her to join him in the reality he has been living. Where they have loved each other for a while, longed and missed unbelievably because of it, and are finally able to bask in it. The warm smiles and looks, the casual closeness that not being apart allows. The things he has been dreaming of. He looks at her lips and back at her eyes, pulling back slightly to give her some space. Maybe she's not entirely understanding his feelings, maybe she's too caught up in her own to recognize his signs, he thinks, ready to give her all the time- When she grabs his neck and drags him back to her. - Neteyam... – her eyes are glossy like she's about to cry. So he caresses her cheeks gently and finally presses their lips sweetly together. And he can not compare it to any other feeling he has ever experienced. It's not like loving her, that's easy and at the same time overwhelming. It has brought him to the point that he is ready to lay down his life and all of his family's expectations to travel back to the tribe just to see her. To be reunited. But this feeling, this kiss is like knowing, that he won't be alone in his love and he can give her his all, his soul. They stay there, lost in the sweetness of being together like never before until the sun has long set and the moon has long risen.

_______________________

That is it! I do realise I keep skipping between tenses, I apologise if anyone finds it annoying and hope you enjoyed!

Edit: I thought it might be useful to put a link to part 2 down here so: Next

[annabelle--cane]

Hello!

You’ve said that you fly on planes pretty often… As someone who’s never been on a plane before, could you tell me about what it’s like riding in a plane for the first time/some things you’ve learned to do to make it an easier experience?

Hope you’ve been doing well <3

with the qualifiers that while I used to fly a lot, I haven't since late 2019 + different airlines have extremely varying standards for comfort + I'm white and able bodied so there are a lot of common concerns that I've never had to think about:

-> being in an airport is first and foremost about waiting around and doing nothing. you queue to check your bag, you queue to go through security, you sit at your gate for a while after the inevitable delays to your takeoff time, you wait for your boarding group to be called, you queue in the group itself to get on the plane, eventually you queue to get off the plane, you queue to go through customs, and then you wait while staring aimlessly at some kind of hypnotic carousel of nearly identical black suitcases to collect your checked luggage. you can either gaslight yourself into believing that there is enjoyment to be found in waiting in huge lines or you can lose yourself to the queue madness.

-> speaking of the hypnotic bag carousel, it'll be easier to pick out your checked bags on sight if they're more distinct looking. if you've got some brightly colored suitcases, use those, otherwise they might pass you by three times before you spot them.

-> if you have a tendency to get car sick or sea sick or anything then I'd recommend bringing some anti nausea medication, in my experience most flights aren't particularly bumpy but better safe than sorry. plane bathrooms can be kinda nasty, if you're concerned about hygiene then you might want to bring some surface wipes. they tend to blast the AC, and the blankets they give out are static electricity central, so I'd recommend wearing a good jacket/cardigan and maybe bringing a small TSA approved(tm) sized bottle of hand cream.

-> if something about the processes of bag checking, security, boarding, customs, etc. is confusing you, you'll likely be in a group of dozens of people trying to do the same thing and you can ask around to see if someone if willing to explain.

-> your airline will probably tell you how early before your flight you should to get to the airport, and I would always advise arriving even earlier than that. ex., I've had a lot of experiences where getting there three hours before an international flight was technically enough time, but I had to rush everything and only got to my gate at the last minute. I would a hundred times over prefer to window shop in the expensive tech stores on the other side of security for half an hour than have to book it with my carry on down a huge backrooms looking empty hallway just to barely make it in time.

-> this could easily be a me thing but I've found the version of myself that exists on airplanes only wants to entertain herself with activities that I would never consider with my feet on solid ground. I enter an airplane and suddenly voraciously want to do a crossword and listen to europop. basically, if you're nervous about the flying itself, then I'd suggest planning to do something fun and kind of novel so you can have something a bit special to look forward to.

-> if you've got a window seat, look out the window! look at your city from above and either have an existential crisis or develop a god complex, it's great. watching a sunrise while flying over the ocean is basically like inventing a religion.

[bagog]

N7 Month, 2023 - Day 24: Foliage

A short mshenko drabble, mid-war, ME3

++

He had been all business, coming out of the Spectre office on the Citadel. But when Shepard found Kaidan standing in the diplomatic lobby downstairs, his mood immediately lifted. Maybe he didn’t have to jet on to the next appointment right away.

“Kaidan,” Shepard announced himself as he walked up. The man turned and gave Shepard a warm smile.

“Hey, Shepard,” Kaidan reached as if to take Shepard’s hand, then saw the crowd around and thought better of it. He crossed his arms across his chest. “I was just headed up to the Spectre office.” He was looking up, above the offices and bay windows.

“Something hold you up,” Shepard followed his gaze and saw a tree, an earth tree. It was small, no more than 10 feet high, but the yellow-green leaves were slowly becoming orange in places, firmer yellow in others.

“They always decorate the embassies with plants native to that ambassador, but two years ago they changed the whole Presidium to Earth cultivars to celebrate Earth’s admission to the Council,” Kaidan let his shoulder bump gently against Shepard’s as they looked at the tree together. “This one’s a vine maple. Practically a weed.”

As they watched one of the maple’s leaves drifted slowly down, landed at their feet. Only then did Shepard recognize there were leaves both colorful and brown scattered on the floor beneath the vine maple. All about the lobby, fallen leaves skittered across the floor.

“They’re all changing,” Kaidan’s voice was thick, his expression impassive. “The Station’s on reserve power: that means a temperature drop in areas that can take it. Also means the UV in the Presidium has been turned way down.”

“Since the coup?”

“Since before the coup, even.” Kaidan turned his eyes away from the maple, looked out the bay window at the Presidium below. “They had custodians sweeping up the leaves left and right, all over the Presidium. Since the coup, though…” He gestured around them to the leaves on the ground.

“It’s odd to have a sense of the seasons on a space station.” Shepard looked around the lobby, dozens of people in queues, some waiting or sobbing in a chair.

“And it’s April,” Kaidan scoffed. “Not, uh… not the season where things should be dying.”

“Think once the war’s over, they’ll finally turn up the UV again? Give these trees a chance?” Kaidan turned and gave Shepard an affectionate look, a soft, unspoken gratitude in his features.

“Maybe, Shepard.” He shook his head lightly, “But uh, where were you headed?”

“Down to Purgatory to meet with Aria, but…”

“But?”

“But I saw you.”

“Sorry to hold you up.”

“Not what I meant,” Shepard chuckled. “Of course I find Major Kaidan Alenko down in the lobby, taking time to look at the trees. You remind me to slow down.” Kaidan’s eyes were a little softer, but he still regarded Shepard with almost impassively.

“I’m glad I can be that for you, Shepard.” But he sounded glum. “Myself? I’ve been trying to hurry myself up. End of the world and I’m trying to squeeze everything in while I can. There’s not much in my life I’ve wanted that I haven’t gotten—I’ve led a pretty charmed life. But then you see something like this,” he gestured to the vine maple, “And it reminds you… ‘Oh yeah, I’d like to see fall again,’ or ‘Oh yeah, every sunrise is worth seeing.’ Then suddenly the war gets that much harder, you know?”

Shepard nodded solemnly. Kaidan had uncrossed his arm and let his arms dangle, stretching his neck. “Its all worth fighting for,” Shepard said.

“I know that,” Kaidan nodded. “Just.. for now, glad I got to see this tree before it dies, I guess. Little things.”

“Not dying,” Shepard let his body drift closer, till their hands almost touched at their sides. “Going dormant, waiting for spring. It’ll be back again.” Then, firmer, “You’ll see it all again.”

“Cycles, I guess,” Kaidan snorted lightly. “Everything’s always going to come back around…”

“Except this, except us.” The words were almost a whisper.

Kaidan reached down and took Shepard’s hand, paying no heed to the crowd or the trees, but only looking at Shepard.

“This is what’s happening now. You’re right,” Kaidan smiled. “I guess I better slow down a little and enjoy it, then.”

They stood holding hands for a long time, watching the leaves fall about their feet, and when they left, they left together.

[soundsandnoises]

GREEN DAY with MAID OF ACE and NOTHING BUT THIEVES. Wembley Stadium, London. 29/06/24

4:10 AM I take a photo in front of the mighty Wembley Stadium, sky above is becoming more blue with each second, blue hour is losing its grip before sunrise... In my mind gloomy scenarios tell me there will be so many people waiting in a queue... Within five minutes I reach the Yellow Zone, assigned entrance. One look at the people there and it's actually not so bad. Can't be more than twenty - thirty people ahead of me, can't tell for sure: most is wrapped in all sorts of cocoons and/or burritos (blankets, duvets, sleeping bags) with a small tent marking the beginning of the queue. Some are awake, polite greetings are exchanged and before I know it there's a full on, easy-going conversation happening, rather cheerful mood at the quite ungodly hour. It's established that we're sort of left in a limbo: the person responsible for numbering the fans is fast asleep, so the waiting is a bit on edge. The usual: toilet, food, coffee questions appear. Too early to tell, too early to be opened, too soon to go – especially without the number that would ease up the mind, that things can go according to plan in such a massive event. People show up, relieved that the ones already waiting are not a mass amount,VIPs and front pitch standing co-exist cordially, blended until separated by the security. Time passes surprisingly quickly. People wake up, chat, wander. My coffee craving is satisfied. I'm half-awake, half-terrified of the vastness of the stadium. I can do it. Information float, some true, some false – everyone just needs to know the amount of VIPs, so they can assess if there's even a slight chance to get to the front, if it actually pay of to be there as early as afternoon the day before (or maybe earlier). Time goes. Sun lurks from behind the stadium, while we count our blessings that it's dry and relatively warm. We won't know what hit us. Soon enough the sun is out in its full glory, concrete elevating the temperature, crowd – mostly clad in black begins to roast. Sunscreens are involved, the anticipation and tension go head to head. Pressure is high as the temperature of the air. It's so lovely the toilets are available, it's so lovely you can roam freely to shops so you can quench the thirst coming at you like Sahara's sandstorm. I can do this. Somehow. Things will go according to plan. Maybe. The entry points are turnstiles, there is a reader for the ticket next to each of them. What can possible go wrong? So what's the amount of the VIPs again? It's multiplying. They go, we stay behind, deflated a bit, defeated. It goes the way it goes, inside the stadium, but not there yet, people are mad, screwed, squeezed and frustrated, security leads the way – wanted to get to the right side? Tough. They led to the left. Decisions, decisions, decisions: far left at the barrier or second/ third row in the middle. I have become comfortable: I choose survival. The view could be better, the massive speaker scares the crap out of me, will the earplugs save me this time? But, but... I'm here. I made it.

MADE OF ACE rip through the sticky summer air with their gritty punk rock sound like seesaw through the block of wood. The wall of sound coming at me from the speaker takes some getting used to. My first thought is: if that's so loud I am royally screwed when Green Day starts. But, I'm going to worry about it later. I nod along to the rhythm, watching four sisters warming up Wembley Stadium for main act. The crowd seems to be favourable. Good. It's rough, it's unapologetic and raw and girls are not taking any prisoners. It's a great start.

I am more than excited for NOTHING BUT THIEVES, yet worried a bit – it's such a different vibe from the opening act. But fans are strong with this one. Conor's voice soars through the air, the band is perfectly synced and they are so ready for it, to conquer it. Their rock music with electronic and pop twists bursts in intriguing key changes and rhythms to dance to [like nobody's watching]. They're unique, aiming high and delivering such a great and entertaining show I wish it could last a little bit longer.

I might be far from others making sure the band gets warm welcome, but I surely am having fun. Until the waterworks start, that is. 'Sorry' makes my eyes fill with tears, even though seconds before I was just joyfully screaming my lungs out to 'Welcome to DCC' and 'Trip Switch' (I was really looking forward to hear the latter, since it didn't make the setlist in Cardiff Castle and it's such a great song to turn lukewarm crowd into red hot – not that it was lukewarm in Wembley, cause it seemed rather great and responsive). As if it wasn't enough 'Overcome' completely breaks me. All the feelings. Funny sensation in my throat, eyes sting, tears roll through my cheeks and it's so exhilarating. I really want to believe the words: 'we shall overcome, as we've done before'.

A little game of hide and seek: Tré's drums are wrapped in black fabric. At first I don't think much of it, but when someone checks the drums [again] and I see amused face of crew member standing at the back it clicks. The cheers coming from the crowd closer to the centre adds to my curiosity. Suspicions are confirmed as soon as I catch the glimpse of blue hair behind the black wrap. Tré plays for a bit, checks a thing or two and leaves sneakily as fans cheer from joy. Pumped up much? Here comes the Bunny. Man, that furry has seen some better days. The only thing that seems to be clean, the person under the Bunny suit is wearing, are white gloves. But who cares. Rock ain't a clean game, it's gritty, dirty and so much fun. The demented mascot cranks it up with some antics onstage getting the crowd to cheer, howl from laughter and making sure fans are so ready for it before he's 'forcibly' pulled from stage. It might be a same, old act, but it's so good to see it. Here we go!

First tunes of 'The American Dream is Killing Me' make the crowd erupt with joy, even though relatively new compared to songs from 'Dookie' and 'American Idiot' it receives the welcome it deserves and it is so on!

Like bullets sprayed from the machine gun songs from 'Dookie' are spitting out from the stage. Hit and scream. Louder, faster. I am having a blast [pun so inteded!]. Few songs in, the girl behind me laughs 'my watch thinks I'm working out!'Oh, sister, yes we are: let's jump together, clap those hands and scream the lyrics like there's no tomorrow, like it hasn't been 30 years from 'Dookie''s release. 'Welcome to Paradise' is pure gold and the crowd is red hot, emotions are bubling on the surface, happiness is so tangible it's just glorious. Everyone's a basket case when 'Basket Case' starts and madness prevails to the very last note of it. But hey, all the best people are mad, aren't they? Normal is boring and there's nothing normal about Green Day ruling the crowd with sing alongs, “ooohs” and waving and jumping. There comes 'She' and there's no settling, Billie Joe's son Jacob takes over playing guitar and he's father's so amused, and so proud, too. Crowd is overjoyed to say the least. As the song finishes Billie Joe announces: 'My son, Jacob, you guy's made him shit his pants!' When you think about it – it's insane to share the stage with his dad, with Green Day and play in front of nearly 80 000 people, so... Kinda cool. Pace is murderous, but fun is spreading like a catastrophic contagion, there's no escape. It's intense, so intense that people go down and because Green Day is punk, but it's there for their fans the show stops until people are safe and taken care of which results in devoted applause from the crowd and then another one when Billie reminds everyone that at Green Day shows when someone goes down, we pick 'em up, we take care of each other. All is love and rock and roll. The show starts and goes like a sports car engine, from zero to whatever high speed, within seconds. Here we go again [Mamma Mia! No wait, wrong show, still fun is fun].

Also there's no Green Day show without some comedy stand-up of sorts, or shall I say: Tré being well, Tré. 'All By Myself' is as bonkers as it has always been as GD's drummer struts his stuff in leopard printed dressing gown, teasing and tempting. Perfect finish of 'Dookie' celebration.

The middle part of the show, it would be unfair to call it an intermission, really, is filled with shenanigans. Obviously. 'Know You Enemy' is known to be the bit when a fan is invited onstage. For a second there, I thought the plan has changed, but no. I am beyond excited to see Venetia, who I've met at another concert and who was the first person in our queue, to get the chance to belt out the lines of the song and then take a dive onto the crowd (and getting a shout out from Billie for such an impressive crowd surf, he laughed that she had to the front from all the way back).

What else? Well, imagine the whole stadium chanting the intro to Black Sabbath's 'Iron Man' – epic!

And then Jesus of Suburbia takes the residence and makes himself rather comfortable at the Wembley Stadium. The dusk is upon the crowd, but it seemed that it is an incentive to shine brighter, to scream louder. 'Boulevard of Broken Dreams' takes me by surprise. Not the fact that I don't know it, or that I don't know it is coming, since tracklist isn't a surprise.

'(…) My shadow's only one that walks beside, my shallow heart's the only thing that's beating...'

In that moment an empty shell that used to be my heart becomes somewhat alive. A phantom is beating out of time. My eyes start to sting again, throat squeezed from the funny feeling as I choke on words I scream: 'Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me, 'Til then I walk alone.' Tears roll through my face as sadness takes over, as I let it all out and let it go. The sensation lingers [understandably] over 'Are We the Waiting', I'm sure not only for me. There is something special going on during that show, that moment. Thousands of lights lighting up the stadium, flickering, poignant and vulnerable (but on the other hand – another incident occurred and 'Boulevard' has to be stopped and restarted due to injury in the crowd/someone fainting and Billie making sure they are helped).

'Wake Me Up When September Ends' always has been a powerful song to me, special to so many no doubt. I'm sure many have personal connection to the lyrics, to the way this song makes them feel. The day of Green Day's concert it would have been my mom's birthday. But cancer takes and shatters lives. So many years have passed and yet 'as my memory rests, but never forgets what I lost, wake me up when September ends.' In the fragility of the moment I fall apart there and then, trying very hard to console myself enough to carry on and soak the good energy coming from the stage.

Because I am truly having the time of my life there. Reconnecting with my younger self, full of hope and feeling happy, if only for a while.

I'm sure this feeling is something that dawned over so many during this show, whilst it blew minds of the ones seeing Green Day for the first time, because it was really magnificent with fireworks, floating airplane, colourful confetti, the pyro so strong I was wondering if my hair would burn. The strength of a singalong from the throats of 75 000 people. The pure joy or rock and roll, words gaining meaning and meaning so much to so many.

'So take the photographs and still frames in your mind, hang it on a shelf in good health and good time […] For what's it worth it was worth all the while. […] I hope you had a time of your life'

I surely did. Green Day's milestones were universal and personal at the same time. It was a celebration. And I have a drumstick to prove! And yes, I am aware there were many of them thrown towards the crowd (Tré threw a bucket of them and bunch of confetti, and then a bunch of confetti on Billie, who stood there stunned, taking it all in, moved by the response and devotions of Green Day fans), but I fought for mine and I got it despite my butter fingers, so there. Green Day are absolute legends and they know how to entertain, please, tease and command the crowd and Wembley Stadium was a fitting place for them to finish UK tour. You had to be there.

The photo I take after the gig: nose is red from all the crying, eyes are tired, I'm clutching the drumstick like my life depends on it. I am happy, I promise. Or I was. But it's over now.

But I can't help to think that Green Day's music shaped me, comforted me: Twenty years ago I went to their show and it blew my mind, it being the first show I paid for with hard earned money or hard saved it was definitely special. Naïve, as I was back then, I remember strolling towards the venue around early afternoon and being shocked by the winding queue. And then fighting for survival inside while trying to sing what I could remember, taking crappy photos with my crappy phone camera/compact camera (some things don't change, but that's a different story. My friend back then peeled off the poster announcing the show, one of my most cherished mementos, still somewhere boxed in my old stuff. Green Day are heroes. Forever etched in my broken heart.

Setlist:

Intro:

Bohemian Rhapsody/ Blitzkrieg Bop/ Intro theme ("We Will Rock You", "I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll", “The Imperial March")

The American Dream Is Killing Me

DOOKIE:

Burnout

Having a Blast

Chump

Longview

Welcome to Paradise

Pulling Teeth

Basket Case

She (with Jacob Danger Armstrong)

Sassafras Roots

When I Come Around

Coming Clean

Emenius Sleepus

In The End

F.O.D.

All By Myself

Know Your Enemy

Look Ma, No Brains!

One Eyes Bastard

Dilemma

Minority

Brain Stew

AMERICAN IDIOT:

American Idiot

Jesus of Suburbia

Holiday

Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Are We the Waiting

St. Jimmy

Give Me Novacaine

She's a Rebel

Extraordinary Girl

Letterbomb

Wake Me Up When September Ends

Homecoming

Whatsername

Bobby Sox

Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)

[thesugarclubs-blog]

Sunrises - Nikolai Lanstov x OC

warnings: Sturmhond Nikolai, post season 2, sweet, soft fluffy Nik, new Grisha OC

word count: 7.5k

WP: https://www.wattpad.com/1382079816-sunrises-zrina

Masterlist

Zrina stared up at the imposing ship and swallowed thickly past the knot of nerves lodged in her throat.  Her excitement at being chosen for this commission had soon faded to a nervous dread at the enormity of her task.  It was only thoughts of her parents that finally encouraged her to set a foot on the wooden ramp that led up to the deck.  She hoped they’d have been proud.

The Volkvolny was a mighty vessel and Zrina shook herself once more at the realisation that not only had she been chosen for Sturmhond’s fleet, but that she was on his flagship, her, a brand new squaller with barely a week of experience driving a wind through a sail. No, she thought to herself, you can do this!  A stern voice brought her back out of her thoughts and she hitched her large bag up onto her shoulder as she turned to see who had spoken.

“You’re late,” the Grisha huffed once more, rolling his eyes in disparagement.

“I…I’m sorry,” Zrina stammered, feeling her cheeks flush.  “There was a queue at the entrance to the docks and…”

The Grisha cut off her explanation with a wave of his hand and jerked his head towards the other end of the ship.

“Your bunk’s that way.  Stow your gear and then come to the foredeck.  Be quick though, you don’t want to keep Sturmhond waiting. Again.”

Below deck men, women and Grisha moved around stowing their belongings and readying for departure. Zrina had never been on a ship of this size and she wasn’t sure she even belonged now, gripping tightly to her pack, huddled deep into the collar of her kefta. She studied the other squallers, moving toward where they had formed a corner of bunks and set her belongings on the floor near the wall, earning a few dirty looks from who were supposed to be her peers and friends. 

“Did you finally figure out how to use your wind, otkazat'sya?” One of them sneered, pushing past her one by one they slammed into her shoulders to remind her of her place. 

Orphan. They had started calling her that at school, when her powers seemed fizzle and crack. She was a Grisha, born from two powerful squallers and placed on a pedestal she would never belong on. But she had not been abandoned, or refused like the other squallers seemed to believe. The power was there, that wasn’t the problem. The problem was her fear. 

“You look as though you might be sick,” a voice called out as soon as the hull emptied. 

Zrina spun to follow the sound only to find a lanky body resting haphazardly in one of the dirty canvas hammocks, a hat pulled down over their face. 

“I will be fine, thank you.” She spoke, pinning her shoulders back she attempted to push away the nausea that churned in her stomach. There were a thousand ship hands like this one, mean and abrasive to newcomers. He was probably drunk on last night's whiskey and had just been looking for a quiet place to nap. 

“There is candied ginger in the barrel behind you, place a piece between your teeth.” He said. 

Zrina turned to look at the small barrel, perched atop a pile of others and popped the lid to find a stock of sticky, amber candy that smelled spicy but instantly quelled the rolling waves in the pit of her stomach. She grabbed a few, tucking them into her handkerchief and into her pocket before turning back to thank the man only to find him halfway up the stairs. 

“You better hurry, the Kapitan is coming.” 

Sturmhond. 

She watched as the helpful, slightly irritating deck hand stripped from his dusty moth eaten jacket and hat, parading into the sunlight. The tight brown suspenders dug into his shoulder blades and rumpled the white tunic that was tucked into his trousers as he spun to stand next to Tolya and Tamar. The most famous Shu twins in Grisha legend. Zrina could barely believe she was sharing a deck with them, let alone the sky. 

She found an open spot towards the center of the deck and walked towards it. She stood tall, chin up, shoulders pinned back as her mother would always tell her to do. No matter how in awe she was that she was in fact part of something this magnificent. No matter how hard her heart was beating in her ears, and Saints now it was looking for a way straight out of her chest. She stood tall. Like she belonged wherever she was, because she did. 

As she fidgeted with the hem of her sleeve in an effort to focus on something other than the nerves going haywire in her body, a ruckus of boots stomping and whistles from the crew broke her way sending the focus of her vision forward where she was met with a pair of curious, iridescent eyes looking back. 

It’s him. 

At the ship’s bridge stood the illustrious Sturmhond. A tall man whose broad shoulders were squared in a commanding presence but his face held an entirely different air. Not that it commanded any less attention but he had a calm, almost serene look in his blue eyes and a satisfied smile accompanying it. She took a deep breath as he held Zrina’s gaze softly almost like he was studying her.

After lingering on her eyes for a while, his eyes, which were the same color of the water surrounding them, wandered further down until halting on the muted cherry color of her lips. 

"Tell me, fair one, what is your name?" His voice carried through the winds as he addressed her.

"Z-zrina, K-apitan." The tremble in her voice broke the words apart as it wreaked over the rest of her body with a visible shiver that didn't go unnoticed. A small semblance of a smile formed on his lips.

"Kapitan Nikolai Lantsov." His arm stretched out and moved with fluid motion as a sign of welcome. 

“Zrina’s our new squaller, Kapitan,” the snarky grisha from before interjected.

“Thank you Delyan, but I’m sure she’s more than capable of speaking for herself,” the Kapitan smirked, throwing a wink towards Zrina.

She nodded and kept her tall stance but inside, Zrina’s stomach roiled and she wished she could sneak another piece of ginger.

“We weigh anchor in ten minutes,” Kapitan Lantsov commanded and then fixed his intense gaze on Zrina. “Our new squaller can take us up.”

As he turned and stalked off towards the stern Zrina stared numbly at the platform where the squallers stood when steering the ship. She could do this, at least, that’s what she tried to convince herself.

Ten minutes seemed like no time at all before Zrina found herself standing on the wooden platform fighting the urge to pick at the cuffs of her kefta. She felt as if every single pair of eyes on the entire ship were upon her and she clenched her toes in her boots in an attempt to stop her knees from trembling.

She caught the piercing gaze of the Kapitan, who nodded once, and so she raised her hands and opened her palms. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, raising her palms higher. At the sound of whispers and even a few titters she opened her eyes again. The ship hadn’t moved.

“Saints,” she swore under her breath, her eyes dropping from the limp sails to the toes of her boots as she wiggled out the tension in her fingers before taking one more deep breath and readying her hands again. 

When she looked up her eyes connected with his but this time she didn’t close them, instead she let herself get lost there. The blue in his eyes reminded her of the open sky on her face, swirling and brushing around her like she was a bird in the clouds. 

Just as the wind tickled her fingertips and rushed through her kefta whispers of mockery floated around her, “razrusha’ya,” they said. And maybe they were right, maybe she was ruined. She couldn’t even lift a sail, she could barely muster enough wind to ruffle her hair. 

“If you can’t do it, otkazat'sya, get down and let a real Grisha try,” Jadran hissed from his station below her, his dark brown eyes looked at her with disgust until Toyla spun, accidentally, slapping the Grisha in the back of the head with the hilt of his sword. The commotion giving Zrina enough time to climb down from her post and offer it up to the next willing. 

She stared down at her hands with tears in her eyes, “why don’t you work?” She breathed out the words in a feeble attempt to stay quiet and calm. 

She could feel the stare of Korol Rezni on her as the ship raised through the air and joined the clouds. He watched her carefully as she moved around the ship, helping with tasks and struggling to fit in. Lanstov studied her with knitted brows and a tender smirk as she got down on her knees to help scrub the deck. 

All the while Zrina waited for him to throw her overboard for being useless. What good was a squaller who couldn’t summon the wind? 

She tried so hard but his presence, although not menacing, intimidated her.

"Zrina." She heard him call. Her back stiffened as she got up from her knees to address him.  

"I think we start you slow so you can learn the ropes. Finish the deck, get you some food and once the sun sets, the night shift awaits you." that playful, boyish smile returned to his lips as his eyes lingered on her face a little while longer. 

She didn't quite understand the softness he presented to her but she would be lying if it didn’t make her a little glad that she is getting to stay on the ship.

Zrina pressed her lips into a thin line, and nodded once, “Thank you, Kapitan.” She kept her eyes on him as she took two steps backwards before turning on her heel and heading over to help with ensuring everything on deck was secure. 

She was in a battle with herself in her head, cursing her abilities for proving the other grisha right about her. Embarrassment at how she looked in front of the crew and her new Kapitan. The bustling bodies around her as everyone worked didn’t phase her in the slightest. All she could focus on was the fact that night would come soon enough, and then it was all up to her. 

With an exasperated grunt, Zrina tied a tight knot in the last lifeline, tugging tightly and subconsciously taking out some of her anger. The words of the other Grisha danced through her head and it wasn’t until a heavy chuckle came from beside her that her eyes finally looked up from where she was working. “What did that rope ever do to you?” Tolya teased, crossing his arms over his chest with a playful smirk on his lips. 

Zrina cleared her throat and shook her head, “I - I was just making sure it was secure,” 

“Don’t let them get to you,” Tamar chimed in, hopping up on a barrel and rolling her eyes, “Some crew members like to forget that they were new to this too at one point.” 

Zrina felt a little of the tension drain from her shoulders and she let out a sigh. They were right, she knew that, but hearing those words that she’d heard all her life thrown at her in such an important moment had shaken her badly.

“Look, you interviewed for this commission, right?” Tamar asked and Zrina nodded her head in confirmation.  “Exactly, so you were chosen out of all the others who interviewed too.  You’ve got something that they didn’t have and I think you’re right where you’re meant to be.”

Zrina felt the smile that twitched at the corners of her mouth and Tolya didn’t miss it either.

“Is that…is that a smile I see?” He teased, making Zrina chuckle.  “There she is. Look, new girl, you’re on the night shift so take that as a grand opportunity.  There’ll be practically no-one around so you can practice to your heart’s content, build your confidence. You’ll be back on the day before you know it.  Might even be given your own ship.”

He nudged her shoulder with a twinkle in his eye and Zrina managed a laugh.

“That’s the spirit,” Tamar joined in, “and if anyone says anything else just remember you have as much right to be here as they do.”

Tamar slipped back off the barrel and clapped Zrina on the back before turning with Tolya and the pair of them sauntered off to the aft of the ship, leaving her alone with her thoughts once more.

After a meal of biscuits and stew, Zrina returned to her bunk and tried to rest before dark but sleep eluded her.  She tossed and turned, her anxiety rising yet again, and she found herself staving off tears more than once.  She was almost relieved when darkness finally fell and so she slipped from her bunk, refilled her stash of ginger pieces, and headed up on deck.

“Don’t ground us, otkazat'sya,” Delyan hissed as she stepped up to take his place on the platform.

Zrina threw him a blank look but it was hidden in the dim light from the few lanterns scattered about.  The deck was blissfully quiet, although she knew there must be lookouts aloft, and she waited until Delyan was below deck before she raised her palms and felt for the wind.

It came easily this time, that tingling rush of power, and a breeze whipped around the bottom of her kefta.  Zrina raised her face to the sky, beaming in relief and she twirled on the spot, laughing breathlessly as her wind played through her long dark waves, lifting the strands in a chestnut halo around her head.

Someone clapped softly from behind her, “marvelous.” 

The Kapitan stepped forward into the long wispy strands of the moonlight, his eyes turned up toward the billowing sails in awe. “I knew you had it in you.” He said. 

“Thank you sir,” Zrina nodded, all of the confidence rushing from her the moment his glassy eyes flickered down to her. 

“Ah,” he huffed with a nod. The corner of his lips curling to the side, “under the scorching heat of the sun I am Kapitan, King, Sturmhond, handsome, daring, brave,” he laughed into the empty night sky with a smile on his face that warmed her cheeks. “But here with only the stars as my audience, I am simply Nikolai for they do not care that I am handsome and charming.” Zrina nodded uncomfortably with the idea of not addressing him by his title. “I must apologize for this morning, I suppose the nerves took hold of me.” She said, still concentrating on her fingers and how the power vibrated through them, calling to the wind so naturally. 

“I would like a word with whoever taught you that you are less than magical,” his smile fell but his eyes reflected the constellations back at her. He stripped from his jacket, letting the cool air nip at the bare skin that lay beneath his loose white shirt as he walked toward her. He carried the air of a Saint, suffocatingly impressive but all the while, still just a man in awe of science and magic. “I have always been jealous of Grisha.”

“You, jealous?” Zrina scoffed before she could stop herself from being so impolite to her King, her Kapitan. 

“Such an undesirable trait, I am aware.” He rolled up the sleeves of his billowy shirt and put his hands on his hips, staring at the sails again. “I used to stand on the balcony that overlooked parts of the little palace, sneaking away from my studies,” he looked at her over his shoulder. “I stood there until my tutors caught me, waving my hands around like a fool trying to learn the magic that could not be taught.” 

"On this ship, your magic is a blessing. I won't tolerate anyone that tells you otherwise, Zrina." Nikolai took a few sure steps towards her, the heat in her cheeks coloring them in a rosy tint. 

Even under the few stars and the moon shining onto them he noticed the way she reacted to his compliments. 

"Look at that, I like that beautiful blush on your skin, milaya."  

Zrina felt the heat spread through her body, failing to distinguish if this was her being intimidated by his presence or something else entirely. Something she never felt before. 

She felt the wind drop a little and shook herself, reaffirming her grip on her power despite the Kapitan’s distracting presence.

“Sorry,” she grimaced, knowing he’d noticed the change in their flight.

“No apologies necessary,” he smiled warmly.  “We’re in no rush to get to our destination, and night flying is designed to be a little less…taxing.”

He reached upwards, rolling his shoulders and stretching out his neck before doing the last thing that Zrina would ever have imagined. With a boyish twinkle in his eye he plopped himself down on the edge of the platform and leaned back on his hands with a satisfied sigh.

“You don’t mind if I stay here for a while do you?” He asked, tilting his head back to look up at her.  “It’s a nice night but I don’t want to disturb your work.”

“I…I mean…” Zrina flushed as she fumbled for words.  “It’s your ship Kapitan. You may do as you wish.”

Nikolai raised his eyebrow and his lip quirked up in a cheeky smirk.

“No!” Zrina answered quickly.  “No, I do not mind.”

With an amused hum, Nikolai turned his attention back to the skies, kicking his legs like a satisfied child as he sat on the edge of the platform.

They stayed in silence like that for a while and slowly Zrina grew used to his presence.  The slight shuffling noises and quiet sighs he let out became a comfort to her as she worked, although it no longer felt like work to command the wind to propel the ship.  It was there in her mind, as if it always had been, and she found she no longer had to concentrate on that one task.  As her mind began to wander she maintained that hold on her power and the ship continued to fly ever onwards.

“Ahem,” Nikolai cleared his throat in an unsubtle way of getting her attention and Zrina barely hid her smile.

“Yes Kapitan?”

“Are you due for a break? From the passage of the stars across the skies I am sure that you have worked long enough for a respite.”

“Perhaps,” Zrina replied.  “But I’m trying to make a good impression.”

“Shut up and sit down here,” he laughed, patting the platform next to him.

She smiled fully then and when he saw it his face lit up with joy.  Zrina clambered down and perched next to him, her hands in her lap and her crossed ankles swinging gently.  Nikolai turned and sucked in a breath as if to speak but then paused.  Tilting his head to the side he stared at her curiously, and then up at the sails that were still full of wind.

“The ship’s still flying,” he observed.

“Yes.”

“But you’re sat here.”

“You noticed that hmm?” She teased a little.

“Clever little squaller,” Nikolai said with amazement.  “I knew there was something different about you.”

Zrina giggled, and turned her gaze up to the sky with a wide smile on her face. It was still a little surreal to her that she was actually on this ship as one of the main squallers, and now in charge of flying them through the stars. It was something her little self had only dreamt of when she started training. The words of the other crew members drifted from her mind as she let herself take in this moment and enjoy the view before them. She sighed happily and shook her head once, “Saints, it is beautiful isn’t it? I mean, I’m sure you’re used to it by now but -” 

“Believe me, I can still be amazed by beauty,” Nikolai replied, quieter than she was expecting. Turning her head, she caught his blue eyes glancing over her with a soft smile tugging at his lips. A swarm of butterflies fluttered deep in her stomach as a blush took over her cheeks. Zrina thanked the Saints that it was dark enough and hoped he couldn’t see how his words had gotten to her. She felt a little embarrassed assuming it was her that he was talking about, but the slight twinkle in his gaze held her there in hope for a moment before she looked back down to her hands in her lap. “I’m sure you can, Kapitan,” Zrina finally replied, smiling over to him, “Can I ask you a question?” Nikolai hummed, looking out onto the deck as a playful look took over his face, “I suppose so,” he teased. 

"What was your first journey like?" Her words came out with a little stutter as the reaction he evoked in her body was distracting her train of thought.

"It was terrible. Let's just say I had a similar experience to you. As a Kapitan you have so much responsibility and I wanted to prove myself to this crew. It got the best of me."

His voice got quieter towards the end, making Zrina search his eyes in the imminent darkness of the night.

"It's hard to believe with the ease that you command this ship, Kapitan Lantsov." 

"Ahhh, milaya. Thank you for the sweet words." 

He watched her for a second longer, surely observing the reaction his words caused in her and his face lit up, almost delighted to find that beautiful rosy color returning on her fair skin. It filled him with a sense of pride that he has the honor of watching this beautiful woman flustered with his words. 

They must have sat there for an hour or more, each of them sharing stories with the other.  Zrina had never felt more comfortable with someone and gradually the charming Kapitan broke down her defenses and she found herself sharing more of her childhood than she ever had before.

It was during a lull in their conversation that Zrina’s stomach let out a loud growl and Nikolai burst into peals of laughter at her flushed cheeks as she clutched an embarrassed hand over her abdomen.

“I see I am failing in my duties tonight,” he chuckled, “for I have allowed you to go hungry and the great Sturmhond has a reputation to uphold. He may be fearsome but he always makes sure his crew are fed, watered, and warm.”

Nikolai patted Zrina’s knee in a comradely gesture meant to comfort.

“Wait here but a moment.”

She watched curiously as he hopped off the platform and, with a wide grin over his shoulder, disappeared down one of the staircases that led off the poop deck. She heard a door close and then, not five minutes later, it opened again and a voice called up to her.

“Hie little squaller, I’ve secured us a feast!”

Zrina smiled and pulled her bottom lip through her teeth as she remembered what Nikolai had said about magic.  With a deep breath and raised palms she searched for her power.  Straight away she felt the draw on it from the wind in the sails but she ignored that part and focused on a single tendril which she encouraged to grow stronger and thicker, forming a net of air.  In her mind’s eye she envisioned the net being cast and wrapping around the Kapitan, who was now setting foot on the stairs back up to the poop deck.  She wrapped that net around him tightly and tugged, so hard that he lost his grip on the railing.

She laughed out loud at the very un-royal squawk that left Nikolai’s lips as he found himself being raised off the ground supported by a cushion of air.  His consternation did not last long however, for he caught sight of Zrina and knew it was her doing.  To her surprise and delight the dreaded Sturmhond spread his arms wide and leaned back into her net, trusting completely that she would not let him fall.

Something twisted then, inside her heart, and she lifted him further, bringing him level with the deck.  She bounced him a few times and the giggles that left his mouth sounded so innocent and fun-filled that she could not help laughing alongside him. When his boots finally found the deck she was met with the biggest smile she had ever seen. 

“That was incredible,” he looked around in awe. “And it just comes from you,” he rushed to her, cupping her face in his hands, “do you understand how incredible you are?” 

Zrina swallowed tightly her only thoughts on how close Nikolai’s face was to hers and how his fingers felt against her skin. Being incredible was the last thing on her mind as the smell of sweat and cinnamon filled her nose. 

“I apologize,” he whispered, his mouth so close to her face that she could feel his sweet breath on her bottom lip. “Toyla tells me regularly that I am too much for the common person to handle and I fear that I have overstepped by touching you.” He peeled his fingers away. 

“Tell me then how can I be incredible and common?” She teased staring up at him as he straightened his posture. 

“Perhaps not so common then,” he brushed a piece of her hair behind her ear and collected the food that he had dropped. He piled the bread and fruit between them, showing it off with the utmost of pride. 

“Apples,” she gasped, grabbing the red fruit and bringing it to her nose to smell it. 

Nikolai watched her, his blue eyes growing big with happiness as she savored the fruit, “had I expected this reaction to an apple I would have brought the barrel up.” 

“I believe it would have gained you points on being the most thoughtful Kapitan,” she said shyly.

Zrina took a bite out of the fresh apple, some of the juice escaping down her mouth. Nikolai stepped closer and slid his thumb over her chin picking up the remaining apple juice, “I am not just Kapitan to you, milaya. Or, at least, that’s not what I want to be.”

She stared at him, looking a bit confused, “Then what are you, if not that?”

Nikolai shrugged and continued to move his thumb in a lazy circular motion. Gazing into her eyes he said, “That remains to be seen, little squaller.” He said, with a small smile and a knowing glint in his eyes, as if he knew something she was not aware of.

Zrina wasn’t expecting the sweet gesture, so instead of reacting like any normal person she startled and let the control of her magic slip. Suddenly Nikolai is knocked down and she is standing there, not knowing if she should laugh or apologize. She didn’t anticipate her magic reacting that way. Usually, her magic doesn’t react at all when she is presented with situations where she can get easily flustered or anxious.   

As she was debating what to do and what to say, she heard Nikolai say, “I see I overstepped once again,” laughing as if she didn’t just knock him down unintentionally, that is.

“Saints! I didn’t mean to do that,” she said with a giggle while trying to help him get up.

“Intentionally or not, it was rather funny. I don’t get many opportunities to laugh and be carefree anymore,” he said with a far away look in his eyes. In that moment she wondered what made him think that he can’t laugh or feel joy, when everyone should have that in their lives. 

“Well, I hope to be bearer of more joyful moments lapushka Nikolai,” her last words came out but a whisper and she swallowed thickly, hoping she was not overstepping at the use of them towards the King of Ravka, “if you so wish, of course.” Zrina let her gaze fall to the wooden deck below them unwilling to hold his gaze out of fear of what his answer might be, whether it be a positive response or a negative one because she truly didn’t know how she would handle either. 

She once more felt the tingle of his skin pressed against hers as he tucked his forefinger under her chin, lifting her gaze to meet his. His blue eyes shone brightly under the moonlight more than the stars themselves, a content look in his eyes as he smiled tenderly. “Moya milaya, I think you know the answer to that. I can only beg the Saints to let me have as many as I can, for as long as you’ll allow me.” His voice drew goose bumps all over her body and his honest admission flowed like molten heat, setting her ablaze from the inside. Her breath hitched and a small whimper whispered into the dark sky peppered with a million and one stars as he lifted his other hand to carefully move the loose strand of hair from her usual tidily made braid and tucked it behind her ear so delicately, like she was made of the most precious material he ever seen.

“What is happening here?” She whispered, her voice thick with emotion.

“Something that I hope will continue,” Nikolai whispered back, a soft smile on his lips.

A light breeze picked up and swirled gently around them, lifting up more tendrils of Zrina’s hair, which Nikolai tried to tame as he had the first.  His efforts were in vain though, for the more he tried, the more strands the breeze took hold of.

“Milaya I think that is all you,” he chuckled.

“Sorry,” Zrina replied lowering her gaze as a bashful flush painted her cheeks.

“There is no need for apologies,” he countered, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into his chest.  “The fact that you can do that at all is a marvel and I feel blessed that I am that much of a distraction to you,” he chuckled quietly.

To Zrina’s surprise she felt him press a gentle kiss against her hair and warmth blossomed within her chest. Again a warm breeze brushed through their coats and caused Zrina to shrink within the warm fur collar. Nikolai turned a set of bright blue eyes on her, his smirk producing the most devilish of dimples.

“You are like the mood rings they sell at the market, the wind changes with your smile.” He brushed the pad of his thumb over her bottom lip and it made every muscle in her body warm. “Curious,” he laughed leaning forward. 

“Don’t keep secrets,” Zrina was brave enough to chirp. 

“I just wonder how the wind would react,” he brushed his nose against hers and his breath fanned over her upper lip. “Zrina, would you be greatly opposed to a kiss because knowing how you react when I do feels pivotal to our adventure and of course for science.” He added like it might quell the nervous fireworks that seemed to fire off in her chest. 

“For the science,” she mumbled as he brought his lips closer. 

Nikolai wasted not a second for her to change her mind before he cupped her face in his large hand and pulled her chin to meet him. Their lips slotted together with delicate care as his fingers tangled into her wild hair and the wind pushed them up from the bench they were seated on. Nikolai giggled against her mouth as he deepened the kiss, needy for more as she let herself feel every spark of excitement he created. 

“I very much like science Nikolai,” Zrina giggled as he reluctantly pulled away. 

“Perhaps as much as I like your lips,” he stole another kiss and Zrina leaned into him as he pulled back. “Would you mind?” he laughed, looking nervously to the deck they floated above. 

“Oh!” Zrina looked around them and noticed that they were in fact floating and it wasn’t just her imagination. “If this happened because of a single kiss, I wonder what would happen if it’s more than that,” she said with a nervous laugh. Her abilities were acting strange. She didn’t remember the wind being this powerful. Interesting development, indeed.

“Let’s see if I can bring us down,” she mumbled while trying to concentrate on not just snuffing out her wind all together and making them fall.

“What do you mean?” Nikolai asked nervously.

“Well, I’ve never done this before and I need to concentrate on not letting us fall. It looks like it will hurt if I do,” Zrina was trying not to laugh at the situation they found themselves in. 

Tilting his head, Nikolai smiled, "I trust you.'' 

Zrina closed her eyes, a small smile on her lips. Thoughts of her Kapitan’s kiss stained lips moved like a film through her mind; calming it and bringing her focus back to where it needed to be. 

She took in a soft breath through her nose, holding it for a second before blowing it through her lips. Zrina could feel Nik’s eyes watching her as the two of them started descending back down to the wooden deck below. While the whole situation still kept the butterflies fluttering around in her belly, for some reason, with this version of him beside her, she felt like she could accomplish anything. 

When they were safely back down on the deck, Zrina took in one more deep breath, focusing her wind back upwards into the sails with a satisfied grin tugging at her lips. 

“That’s my girl,” Nikolai whispered from beside her, brushing his fingertips lightly across her cheek. 

A soft chuckle escaped her, and Zrina leaned into his hand, bringing her eyes back to find his blue ones watching her carefully. 

“Do you think if we tried that again you may be able to keep our feet on the deck?” He teased, the fingers of his other hand entwining with hers.

“Perhaps we should sit first,” she giggled, “just in case.”

They sank back to their previous perches on the edge of the platform although this time there was far less distance between them.  Nikolai toyed with Zrina’s hand, turning it this way and that, gently twisting their fingers together before untangling them once more.

“Tell me, little squaller, what does it feel like to hold the power to command the air?” He said softly, his eyes still fixed on their joined hands.

Zrina thought for a moment before raising his hand to face her, steadying it with one hand whilst she scraped a fingernail heavily over his palm and fingers, tracing patterns.  His fingers twitched and he instinctively tried to pull away but then settled, watching intently as she continued to draw shapes against his skin.

“Like that,” she said.  “A tingle but more, it is an urge, a necessity.  I could no more deny it than I could deny…the need to breathe!”

The sails on the ship billowed a little stronger in response to her words drawing both of their attention and Zrina chuckled sheepishly.

“Sorry.”

“That is something else you need to stop,” Nikolai said, retrieving his hand and nudging her shoulder.  “There is no need for apologies on my ship.”

“Sor-“ she began but stopped herself at his raised eyebrow.  “It is a hard habit to break.”

“Perhaps an incentive might work?  For every hour you refrain from saying sorry you can have an extra apple in your rations.” He declared smugly.

“How about a kiss instead?” Zrina blurted before slapping her hand over her mouth and flushing as red as the apples she loved.

“Oh ho!” Nikolai laughed, his eyes twinkling with amused delight. “My bold little squaller. Those you can have for free.”

Her eyes fluttered as he brushed his nose against hers but instead of granting her another kiss, his teeth sunk into the flesh of her apple. She gasped, laughter trickling from her lips as he finally stole her breath and pressed a gentle, lingering kiss to her mouth. 

“You can have whatever you wish Zrina, just ask,” he said as he pulled away. His blue eyes were more serious than before. She felt the warmth from his words blossom in his chest but he still seemed so sad and she couldn’t help but wonder why.

“Did I do something wrong?” She asked. 

 “Of course not.” He brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. “It’s just a feeling that plagues me in the quiet hours.”

“Is that why you are awake?”

“I hardly sleep anymore,” he answered, his brows kissing together. “The war is over,” he whispered to the clouds, “and yet-” he stopped again, choking on the words he meant to say out loud. “Zrina, is it silly to be more afraid of being King than I am fighting or flying?” He turned to her, the confident king gone from his gaze leaving behind the quiet, fearful puppy prince. 

“Fear does not care if you are a king, Nikolai.” Zrina whispered, tangling her fingers into the loose opening of his tunic softly. 

“Do not tell my advisors that,” he offered her a sad chuckle. 

“You are already twice the man that the old king wished to be,” she said, “perhaps he was not afraid enough, too confident in his prejudice and laws. Perhaps what Ravka needs is a king afraid of failing, a king who walks with his fear instead of wielding it to harm others beneath him.”

He stared at her for a moment longer before the corner of his mouth upturned and the dimple returned to his cheek. She thought for a second she may have spoken too brazenly with her king but he leaned in, brushing his lips against hers and drew out a lazy kiss from her mouth as his hand slipped to rest around the base of her throat. 

“Thank you,” he whispered in retreat. 

“You don’t need to thank me,” Zrina shrugged, “It’s just words, but people often forget how powerful words can be. If I would have been surrounded by people that didn’t make me feel ashamed of feeling scared of doing something, I think I would’ve been a different person now,” Zrina knows how much the feeling of being afraid has influenced her life and knowing that someone so brilliant and strong as him is afraid of doing something makes her feel less alone.

“You speak as you know how it feels like. Tell me little squaller, what are you afraid of?” he asked bemused. 

“Everyone is afraid of something, I guess,” she answered sleepily. The excitement of the day had finally got to her. “Don’t let people fool you into believing that they have it all figured it out when in reality they don’t,” Zrina was mumbling at this point. She didn’t even know if she was making sense or not.

“Fine way of not answering the question. Very well, I guess I’ll get that answer some other day,” he said chuckling. 

A small smile tugged at her lips, “Do not worry, Kapitan. We will continue this conversation later… after some sleep. I can barely keep my thoughts straight.”

She started to get up, but he held onto her arm, stopping her. Zrina looked back at him, a question written on her face. “Would you stay here with me?”

“What? Sleep outside on the deck?” she asked, a little confused. “What if we get cold?”

Nikolai had a wicked glint in his eyes, “I can keep you warm.” 

Zrina rolled her eyes and chuckled, “Be serious! I want to sleep.” 

He continued looking at her, the playful glint in his eyes was now gone and replaced with a much softer gaze, “Yes, I want us to sleep on the deck. I want to show you something and I fear that if we go below deck, we might miss it.”

“What is it that you want to show me,” curiosity got the best of her. 

“The reason why I like to stay up every night.”

“And what reason would be so important as to keep the great Sturmhond from his bed?” Zrina asked.

“Stay with me and find out,” he insisted as a charming smile bloomed across his face.

A fizz of nervous excitement grew in her belly as Zrina regarded the handsome Kapitan.  She had overcome so many of her fears today that she may as well continue with another.

“Alright,” she murmured, nervously tucking her hands up into the sleeves of her kefta.

The beam of joy that came from Nikolai made her heart soar and she was utterly grateful for the courage she’d found that made her say yes.  He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into his chest as he settled them both against the side of the platform and then bent his head down to give her one more sweet kiss.  She could feel his hum of delight as she nuzzled deeper against him.  As their breathing grew deeper and more steady, just beginning to take on the rhythm of sleep she murmured against his chest.

“Everything.”

“Hmm?” he responded sleepily.

“I was afraid of everything,” she whispered, but there on the deck, as Nikolai tightened his arms reassuringly around her, Zrina found herself unable to be afraid of anything at all.

A flutter across her cheek and then the softest whisper against her lips pulled Zrina slowly from her slumber.  Her mouth curved into a soft smile as her eyes opened and found herself staring into the ocean blue gaze of the Kapitan.  He hooked a finger under her chin and tilted her face up to meet his lips, kissing her gently once, and then a second time before returning her smile with his own.

“Good morning, Milaya,” he rumbled, his voice hoarse from sleep.

“Is it?” Zrina asked, for the sky was still mostly dark.

“Almost,” he said, bumping his nose against hers and chuckling low in his throat.  “I would like to share this moment with you, if I can.”

Unwrapping his arms from around her he rose to his feet and held out his hand.  She took it gladly, allowing him to pull her up and lead her over to the starboard rail.  He stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her once more as they took in the sky that began to lighten in the east.

“Watch this,” he murmured in her ear before resting his head against hers.

Zrina placed her hands atop his, lacing their fingers together as the sky began to grow brighter along the horizon.  The scattering of clouds below them remained dark islands in a midnight sea and then suddenly there was a blinding flash of brilliant white as the sun made its first appearance of the brand new day.  The sky flowed rapidly into an ombre of blues, whilst the clouds began to glow orange and the world below looked as if it were on fire.

Zrina could not stop the tears that tracked down her cheeks at the sheer beauty of it all.  She tightened her grip on Nickolai’s hands, fearful that she may get swept away by the intensity of her emotions.

“Nikolai,” she gasped in awe, unable to articulate the experience.

“I know, Milaya, I know,” he crooned in her ear, fully remembering how it felt to see this wonder for the first time.

Zrina turned slightly, her eyes darting between his face and the wondrous sunrise.  He was bathed in a golden hue, looking every inch the king that he was, but the smile he wore was just for her.  He raised his hand to her face and brushed away a tear gently with his thumb and she tilted her face up to him, going up onto her toes to press her lips against his.  He tasted of sunshine, and new beginnings. “I have never shared this wonder with anyone before,” he murmured when Zrina finally pulled away, “but I would share each and every other sunrise with you, Zrina.”

“It would be my honor, Nikolai,” she whispered back and he pressed another kiss to her lips before they turned once again to face the growing daylight together.

[em-writes-stuff]

flufftober + whumptober day 11

prompts: sweet tooth + "no one will find you"

1257 words

warnings: character death

characters: echo song, emberly drewitt, nyks fyre

~

Emberly holds Echo’s hand, pressing her forehead against it. She sniffles and sighs, “You’re sure you’re alright with me leaving?” 

He nods and, grunting with effort, sits up. “You have to do what you want to. You’ve spent too much of your life staying behind for others. I don’t want to be one. Although…” it says, squeezing her hand. “If you wanted to stay one more day and get some fried dough with me in the morning, I wouldn’t mind.” 

She laughs and shakes her head, “I don’t know, I’ve got a pretty tight schedule. Might not be able to wait that long.” 

“Aw, man.” Echo says, pulling his hand from her playfully. “Guess I’ll have to crawl the whole way there myself. All alone.” he takes a deep breath and looks away from her. “With my weak, failing body.” 

“Oh, hush.” She says. She takes its hand in hers again and rests her head on the mattress. “You’ll outlive us all.” 

It sniffles and smiles sadly and slides back onto its back. “I’ll see you in the morning, yeah?” 

She takes the queue and stands up, “You better.” 

His features change into something showing mock determination and he nods. She closes the door and walks down the hallway to Nyks’ room. She knocks and pushes the door open. 

Nyks glares at her, “You’re really leaving tonight?” 

“No,” she says, shaking her head. She sits on the end of Nyks’ bed and takes a deep breath. “I’m getting fried dough with him in the morning and leaving after that.” 

Nyks rolls her eyes and pulls a blanket up to her chin. “You won’t even wait another month? That’s probably all it has left.” 

“I can’t.” she shakes her head. “He made me promise. I have to go to the ocean and watch the whale come up for air. It’s not happening for another five years. And he knows that.” 

Nyks rolls her eyes again and nudges Emberly off the bed. “Go and get it tonight. Harbly’ll fry some up if he knows it’s for Echo. It won’t be able to make the walk in the morning.” 

She nods and walks to the doorframe. “I wish I could stay, but he’d never forgive himself if I did.” 

Nyks sighs and nods, she inhales deeply and purses her lips, “I know. I just…have to be mad at someone and it’s not going to be him.” 

~

Emberly knocks on Echo’s door and pushes inside. She sets a plate on his bedside table and opens his curtains to let in the sunrise. “I woke up early, so I went on a walk into town. Harbly was already up and cooking. You know how he gets.” 

Echo eyes the plate and Emberly’s lack of eye bags. He forces a smile and pushes up against the headboard. “Thanks. How is Harbly? I haven’t seen him in a while.” 

“Oh,” Emberly says, handing Echo a ball of golden-brown fried dough. “He’s fine. Keeping plenty busy as usual. He’s actually got a new building up behind his house. Told me it was for chickens.” 

Echo chuckles, “Soon he won’t need anything from anyone. Might even have to start pricing stuff instead of trading for it.” 

“Oh, I doubt it.” Emberly laughs. She bites into her fried dough and exhales happily. “He’ll always find something to ask for.”

They sit together, chatting about whatever comes to mind, slowly making their way to the bottom of the dough pile. Sugar falls off the balls and onto the blanket, making it look like it had snowed in the room. 

Emberly splits the last fried dough ball in half and hands Echo the bigger one, “I have to get heading out before it gets too hot.” 

It nods and sets the sweet onto his blanket. “I know. Thank you for getting these. I know it’s a difficult walk to make in the middle of the night.” 

The breath gets caught in her throat and she shakes her head, “I told you I went over this morning.” 

“I know.” He smiles softly and nods, “I’m dying, not an idiot.” 

She forces a smile and leaves his room, saying a quick goodbye to Nyks before getting Atlas from the stable and heading to the ocean. 

~

It’s another two weeks before she gets back. Atlas lumbers into his stable and flops down on the blanket in the corner. Emberly rolls in a wheelbarrow of food for him and latches the gate closed. She walks into the house with a smile on her face and a bag of sweet smelling goods in her hand. 

She knocks on Echo’s door and pushes it open, stopping with it half closed. The curtains are drawn and dust floats in the air. 

Nyks sits on its bed. They look up at Emberly and bite her cheek. “You’re too late.” 

“No,” Emberly cries. She falls to her knees and holds her head in her hands. “When?” 

“Three days.” 

“That’s it?” Emberly breathes. “Three days?” 

Nyks pushes off the bed and walks over to her, hand held out with a note. “As far as we know.” 

Nyks walks out of the room and leaves Emberly to read the note. 

  “Whoever’s reading this, I’m sorry to make you the bearer of bad news.” She laughs weakly and walks over to the window to draw the curtains open enough to let in some light. “One thing my grandma told me when I was growing up was that you never wanted to be around an instinctive when they’re dying, so I hope you understand that I’m not letting you see me die. I might just take you with me. Anyway, I’ve sent letters to everyone who I could think of, and really hope the messenger I picked can do their damn job.” she laughs again and fips the paper over. “Once word gets around, there will probably be a few deliveries coming, it’s the best I could do with what I had. I really loved spending time with everyone and hope you can forgive me for not saying proper goodbyes.

    “All my love, Echo.” 

Emberly sobs and clutches the note to her chest. She leans forward and exhales shakily. Nyks walks back into the room and holds their hand out to her. “We’re gonna be alright. But you’re not leaving until I say so.” 

She laughs and wraps her arms around them, “I wouldn’t dream of it.” 

They walk into the living room and sit down on the couch with one of the blankets Echo had made across their laps. 

~ (alternate ending)

Echo falls to the ground in pain. He yelps, startling all the wildlife around it. He breathes deeply and shakes his head. It has to keep going. Slowly, it makes his way through the thick woods and finds a gently flowing stream. 

“This is good,” he says to himself. “Noone will find you here.” 

It lays down on the clovered ground and looks through the webbed branches. 

The light barely shines through, penetrating the blanket of leaves just enough to warm the skin on its face. He smiles, finally content, and closes his eyes. 

Energy ripples out from it with every weak breath, warping the light and making waves in the water. Leaves shake and birds twitter anxiously. The ground shakes and branches wobble under the stress from the sudden change in everything. 

Then, as if by magic, everything stops. Echo’s chest no longer rises and falls, his eyes don’t flick back and forth under its eyelids and nothing moves.

[swaps55]

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#5

I commissioned @bbegrill to draw the original Normandy crew at the Alenko orchard after the war. Thank you so much for this - it’s above and beyond what I imagined. 

A happy ending is so important to me. This crew gave up so much, lost so much. I want this moment. Through all the grief and pain, finding a little light, and celebrating what they saved.

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Kaidan exhales. “Three years ago. How did you know?”

“The porch swing,” his mother says with a thoughtful cant of her chin. “The morning you two sat outside to watch the sunrise. I was up early to take care of the horses and saw you out there. You were asleep on his shoulder.”

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I asked @okenkrow-art to bring to life one of my favorite moments from Opus, in which Sam Shepard sees his first sunrise. It just wasn’t in the sky. 

Boy, did you deliver. This looks like it walked out of my head. Thank you so much.

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[andydrysdalerogers]

Aurora ~ Part Four

Pairings: Andy Barber vs Lloyd Hansen; Andy Barber x OFC Aurora "Rory" Thatcher

Word Count: 3.9K

Summary: Rory lets her feelings slip out after an old friend comes to visit. And speaking of visit, Lloyd decides he wants to inspect his prize… 

Warnings: SMUT 18+, fluff, stalking

This work is 18+ only. Please heed the warnings and walk away as this story does get violent as it goes on...

Banner by @justawriterand

Mood board and dividers by @firefly-graphics

Series Masterlist ~ Main Masterlist

It’s been a few weeks since Rory stayed with Andy.  Correction, she never really left.  And it suited her just fine. She was scared, nervous to be alone with a psychopath lurching so she stayed with Andy.  And he was over the fucking moon. He did everything in his power to make her more comfortable, feel safer than ever before. 

They continued with her “education” almost every night, with Rory discovering more about her body and Andy discovering what made her tick.  He made sure she was satisfied two, three times before he even thought about cumming. Her pleasure was his greatest joy.  And he made sure that she knew that every day. Flowers, small gifts, anything that would bring that gorgeous smile to her face before he ruined her for the night. 

But a storm was coming, and Andy never let his guard down. 

Dawn broke over Sudbury and Lloyd watched the sunrise as he sipped his coffee.  He had been up for a couple of hours by now, reviewing the collected intel.  His eyes landed on a photo of the shop.  Maybe I should just take a peek,he thought. He readied himself and climbed into his car. The ride just took a few minutes and as he was pulling up, he saw Andy exit the shop with Aurora. Andy cradles Aurora’s face and placed a sweet kiss on her lips.  Lloyd’s lip curled in disgust at the interaction. 

He kept watching as he turned back into the shop, said something and then kissed the girl once more before leaving with one of his goons.  Couldn’t have timed this better, Lloyd muttered. He climbed out as other customers enters the shop.  He pressed a button on his phone and entered, joining the queue to the register. 

He looked himself over and made sure no identifying marks would be present. He did look remarkable like his twin, but his mustache and haircut were very different from Andy.  But it was worth the risk. The coat he wore covered his white pinstripe polo over slacks, a hat covering his eyes from anyone watching him.  He used all of his patience, waiting as the customers in front of him ordered and paid.  He glanced around the room.  A worker was in the back, a young man around her age, pulling trays of treats.  Some customers seated around, one in particular, he took note of.  The customer was stiff, as if he was monitoring for a threat.  Lloyd grimaced.  Once of Andy’s soldiers was keeping watch.  Not important, he wasn’t going to act now. 

It was his turn and he finally saw her.  Her hair was down but tied back at the crown.  Her eyes were bright, full of sparkles.  She wore a delicate pink shirt with a slightly brighter pink apron on top. And then he heard it.  The sweetest sound.  Her voice.  “Hi, welcome to the Sweetest Things.  What can I get you?” Her smile matched her voice.  Truly, the sweetest things. 

“Coffee, please and a blue berry muffin.” Lloyd kept his voice steady and friendly, even though he wanted to launch himself across the counter and take her right there and then. 

Rory offered another smile.  “Coming right up.”  She spun around to pour a coffee, her dark hair swinging. Her scent floated up to Lloyd and he inhaled.  A subtle mix of strawberries, coffee and sugar.  His own blend of aphrodisiac. She’s mouthwatering, he thought. 

Rory came back with the cup and muffin.  “Six-fifty”, she stated.  He swiped his card and left a dollar in the tip jar.  “Thank you, she beamed.  Please come again. 

Oh, I will princess.  He flashed her a smile. Something about it made her recoil.  It seemed familiar and yet evil.  Rory kept her composure as the man walked out of her shop.  She shook off the feeling as she helped her next customer.

Lloyd moved to his car, moaning at how delicious the muffin was.  He finished it and the coffee, climbed into his car and took off.  He called his tech, Steve Kemp.  “I need shadow surveillance.” 

“Understood.  When?”

“Today for the surveillance.” 

“Who’s the target?”

“Aurora Thatcher.” 

“Barber’s girl?”

“She’s mine!!!” Lloyd roared.  “Just do your job Kemp.  I’m sending someone to charm her.” He hangs up, seething.  When will everyone just understand that Aurora was his?

As Peter swept up for the night, Rory counted her receipts while Paul checked the security for the night. Her phone rang as she looked over the credit card receipts.  “Hi Baby!”

“Hello sweetheart.” Andy could hear the smile in her voice.  “I just wanted to let you know I’m on my way to you.” 

“Okie dokie! I’m just counting out.  Be done in ten.”  He could hear the rustling of papers in the background. 

“Good.  How did Paul do?”

“Great.  He…” she suddenly stopped. 

“Rory?  Did I lose you?”  He heard a glass smash.  “Rory?!” He heard a noise, and another voice came on the line. 

“Boss, its Diskant.  She’s ok but get here quick.  I think you should call Jensen as well.”

The glare that Andy threw at Nick and Sam levelled them. “Five minutes,” he growled.  Sam moved to get Andy to the car as Nick walked beside him.  “Jensen, bakery, now,” he ordered. 

“Yes, boss.” 

Four and a half minutes later, Andy was running into the shop.  He found Rory sobbing in Peter’s arms on the floor, shaking uncontrollably. “Rory, sweetheart, what happened?”

Rory looked up to see Andy and she just reached out for him. He sat down and pulled her into his lap as she continued to cry.  He looked at Paul and Peter. “Sir, I swear, I was here all day.  Peter stayed when I used the restroom.  She was never alone.”

“Explain,” Andy growled, as he held his girl, trying his best to comfort her. 

Paul sighed, knowing the explosion that was coming.  “Lloyd Hansen was in the shop today.” 

Andy saw red.  He tightened his grip on Rory, trying to remain calm and not explode while she was in his arms.  He knew she didn’t need to be scared more than she already was.  “How?” he asked through clenched teeth. 

“Miss Thatcher was doing the receipts and she noticed a name on the receipt.  After I hung up with you, I checked the surveillance.  I had a hunch.” 

“That’s why you asked for Jensen,” Nick said.  He checked his phone.  “Two minutes boss.”  He turned to Paul.  “What’s wrong with the footage?”

“Its distorted.  I’m hoping Jensen can give us a clear picture.” Paul left the computer on the counter as he looked at his boss. “I’m sorry sir.” 

“Not your fault Paul.  I’m just glad you’re here for her.” 

“She’s your girl sir. I’ll protect her with my life.” 

Nick and Sam headed out to the front to check on the cars and wait for Jensen as Paul and Peter continued with closing the shop. Andy continued to hold Rory. “Sweetheart, c’mon, let’s get you home.”  He lifted her up and carried her to the back and set her on the counter. He took a towel to wipe the tears from her face. Once he was finished, he kissed her forehead. “I’m just gonna grab your bag.”  He walked into the office but stopped when he was out of her line of sight.  He placed his hands on hips and sighed, his head bowing.  What is Lloyd doing? He thought to himself. He rolled his shoulders and grabbed Rory’s bag.  He heard the door signal, took Rory’s hand and walked out.  He saw Jensen already working the tablet and his computer.  “Jensen?”

“Hey boss.”  Jensen finally looked up, spotting Rory, who was half hiding behind his boss.  “Well, hello there,” he said to her, flashing a wink. 

Andy growled under his breath.  Jensen smiled sheepishly and turned back to the computers.  “I think I’ve got it.”  He hit a button and the image flashed.  And there was Lloyd, grinning at the camera.

“Son of a bitch!” Diskant exclaimed. 

Andy stared at the image of his twin.  “He won’t be back,” he commented. “He got what he wanted.  To let us know he’s here.  Fowler, Wilson, let’s review every lead we have.  Diskant, Parker, you never let her out of your sight.  Jensen, make sure security is up to date, here, the office and the house.” 

Jensen nodded, “I’ll make a call for updated equipment to a friend of mine.”

Andy felt a tremble in his hand and looked back at his beloved.  “Sweetheart, are you with me?”

“Maybe I should leave?”  She looked up at Andy.  “Maybe if I leave town…”

“Sweetheart, if you left town, he’ll just follow you.”  Andy kissed her forehead. “I promised you, I would keep you safe and I will.” 

“Andy, I’m scared.” The tears began to fall.  The other men quietly excused themselves from the shop and stood guard. 

“I know. But you are my princess. “He cupped her face.  “You are the center of my world now and I’ll do anything and everything to protect you.”  He kissed her deeply.  Once he let go, he took her hand.  “Let’s go home.” 

The next couple of weeks were eerily quiet for Andy and Rory.  Paul never left Rory’s side unless she was home with the boss. But no other sights of Hansen, no threats.  It was disconcerting, the lack of his presence. One morning, Paul took his spot in the corner of the shop, Peter was working the counter as Rory was in the office.  A man approached, long brown coast and sunglasses.  “Is Rue here?”

Peter looked at him confused.  “Rue?”

He took off his sunglasses and runs and hair through his dark hair, his face in a scowl.  “Yeah, Rue.  Aurora.  Where is she?”

Peter straightens his posture.  “Who’s asking?”

“Listen here, you little teenage wannabe tough guy, tell Rue it’s her favorite trust fund asshole.” 

Peter glanced at Paul, who got up and walked to the office.  “Aurora, there is a guy asking for you.”

Rory didn’t look up. “Who is it?”

“He said to tell you that he’s a trust fund asshole.”  Paul looked concerned until Rory lifted her head and smiled.  She got up and ran to the front. 

“Ransom?”

The guy turned.  “There she is.  Hey sweetness.”  He opened his arms, and she ran right into them.  Paul and Peter exchanged another look before Paul pulled out his phone and sent a message. 

“Why didn’t you call me?” Rory asked before smacking him in the arm. 

“Ow! Rue! Jesus, that hurt!  Is that how you greet your best friend?”  Ransom rubbed his arm. 

“Oh please, that didn’t hurt.” Rory rolled her eyes before hugging Ransom again. “So, tell me what brought the great Ransom Drysdale back to Newton?”

“Meeting with Granddad about Blood and Wine.  Plus, he told me you finally opened this place.”  He looked around again.  “What’s with dumb and dumber staring at us?”

“Be nice,” she admonished.  “Peter is my right hand around here. And Paul, well, Paul runs security for me.”  Rory could feel her cheeks heating up.  Ransom eyed her. 

“What’s going on Rue?  And don’t fuckin lie to me neither sweetness.” 

She went to open her mouth when the door opened, and Andy walked in with Nick.  “Andy, hi,” she said with a smile. 

“Hi sweetheart.” Andy went up to her and pecked her lips before giving her a hug.  “Needed a cup of coffee and I was nearby.” 

Ransom cleared his throat and Rory turned back.  “Sorry. Andy, honey, this is Ransom Drysdale, one of my oldest and best friends. Ransom, this is my boyfriend, Andrew Barber.”

The men shook hands and Andy studied him. Dark hair, clean shaven, crystal blue eyes that perfectly match he sweater he was wearing under his coat. Andy could sense his arrogance. “Nice to meet you Mr. Drysdale.” 

“Same.” Ransom turned his back to Andy.  “So, Sweetness, you got plans? Storm is throwing one of his famous rages tonight.”

Rory looked from Ransom to Andy and back.  “Sorry but I have a date with Andy tonight.  Maybe another day.” She stepped towards Andy and took his hand, sensing he was angry at the arrival of Ransom 

Ransom rolled his eyes.  “Whatever Rue.  Just haven’t seen you in a while.” 

“Tell you what, come by tomorrow when I’m not swamped with admin stuff and we’ll have lunch,” Rory offered her beautiful smile and Andy gently squeezed her hand.  She looked up at him with her large doe eyes.  “Will you join us, Andy?”

“Of course, sweetheart.”  He looked at Ransom.  “I have a place on Main.” 

Ransom shrugged.  “Whatever. Sure.  I’ll see you tomorrow sweetness.  Mr. Barber. Goons.”  He laughed as he walked out. 

Rory smiled and then looked at Andy, whose face was hard.  Her smile fell and she felt nervous.  “So that’s Ransom,” she commented. 

“Funny how you’ve never mentioned him before sweetheart,” Andy replied, cupping her face and rubbing his thumb over her cheek. 

She closed her eyes at the sensation.  “We had a minor disagreement a few years ago.  Something we still have to talk about.”  She opened her eyes to see concern in his.  “Hey, I’m yours,” knowing exactly what Andy was thinking. 

“Mine,” he said, lifting her palm to his mouth.  “I gotta go but I’ll meet you at home for dinner.” 

“Ok.”  She reached up on her tip toes to kiss him.  “Love you,” she said as she turned away. 

He stood stunned for a moment.  He smiled at the fact she hadn’t realized what she had said.  “Nick, let’s go to the store. “

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, need to pick up something special for my girl.”

Ransom climbed back into his Beemer and automatically made a call.  “I’m in.  Lunch tomorrow. Her and Barber.” 

“Good.  Let me know the details.  You’re almost done Drysdale.” The call was disconnected.

“Mother fucker.”  Ransom gripped the steering wheel.  How did losing one hand at poker get him in this position. Not that he had any guilt.  Rory had written him off after he had made a drunken pass at her.  She yelled and smacked him the morning after.  Told him not to come back to her until he grew up. “Grew up not, didn’t I sweetness,” he snorted to himself.

Back in his office, Andy barked out orders to his team.  “I want to know everything about him.  Associates, accounts, hookers, all of it.  I won’t be allowing Rory to sit with him alone until we know he’s clear.” 

“Yes, sir,” Nick replied, jerking his head and ordering everyone else out of the room.  “What about the lunch tomorrow?”

“You and Paul will sit at a separate table, on guard.  Get another team to watch outside and the bakery.  I want Jensen to up the surveillance.” 

“Understood.” 

Andy poured himself a glass to try and calm himself before he headed back to his sweetheart.  The high he has been riding from her casual ‘love you’ was fading and this prick was to blame.  He would get some answers from his love. 

He stopped.  That statement in his head stunned him but didn’t surprise him.  The couple of months they had been together had been nothing short of amazing.  And he did love her.  He has loved her since the day he got to stare into her eyes and study the depths of them.  He’s love her since that first day.  And always would.

Lloyd chuckled at the man sitting in front of him.  “You did good Drysdale.  She doesn’t suspect.”

Ransom swallowed.  “I don’t think she does.  He might.” 

“Fucking Andy won’t know what hit him.”  Lloyd turned to Steve. “Get everything ready, I’m walking out of that diner with my girl. Would prefer not to kill my brother in the process but accidents do happen so if it happens it happens.” He shrugged. 

That night Rory cooked for her Andy, making his favorite pasta.  While she waited for him, she changed in a lavender sundress and side swept her hair.  She was setting the table as she heard the door open. “Sweetheart?”

“Kitchen!” She started to dish up when she felt a pair of hands around her waist and a kiss on her neck. “Hi handsome.” 

“Hey beautiful.  Smells good baby.  Whatcha making?”

“Pasta alio e olio.” 

Andy grinned, “My favorite.  White wine?”

Rory nodded.  “You pick.”  She set the plates down as he opened a bottle. 

“How was the rest of your day sweetheart?”

“It was good. Got a huge order for the hospital foundation gala next week.”  She giggled.  “The medical director stopped by to sample this afternoon.” 

“That’s amazing baby! I am so proud.”

“More big events like this and I’ll need to hire more help.  I talked to Paul about it, and he said he could run background.  I know you’ll want to check.”  She gave him a cheeky smile. 

Andy snorted.  “As long as Paul is on top of it, I’m fine baby.”  He slurped his noodles.  “God, I love when you cook.” 

“Well, I had to say thank you for that that thing you did last night.”  Rory’s cheeks flushed a light pink at her reminder.  Andy reached over and thumbed her cheek as she leaned into his touch.  As he finished, he leaned back in his chair and took his glass. 

“Sweetheart, can we talk about your friend?”

“Ransom?  What about him?”

Andy took her hand. “Now don’t be upset but I’m a little concerned with Drysdale showing up the way he did.” 

Rory sighed. “I am too. Ransom has always been a free spirit, trust fund or not.  He was the first person I met when I got here.  And when he left, it hurt.”  Rory squeezed his fingers.  “It would have taken a miracle to have gotten him back here.  Andy,” she frowned, “do you think…”

“I don’t know, love.  But I have my men looking into it, just in case.” 

Rory giggled and gave him a shy smile.  “You called me love.” 

Andy chuckled. “I did.”  He patted his lap, and she came over and sat.  “Can I tell you something?”

“Of course.”  She pecked his lips, and he flashed her a smile, that crooked smile that always made her weak in the knees. 

He pulled her close and kissed behind her ear before whispering…

“I think I’m in love with you.” 

Rory pulled back to look into her lover’s eyes.  They were bright, honest, the blue crystal clear.  This man, this mobster, this king, was in love with her.  Only she could bring him to his knees.  This orphan girl with only grandparents and a few friends in her life.  Andy looked tenderly at his girl, unable to read her expression in her brown, doe eyes. She leaned in and pressed her lips to his, molding to his, moving with a tenderness that set them both in a loving place. Andy held her in place, lacing his hand into her hair, the other on her back.  Her hands drifted to his chest.  She pushed back from the kiss, her lips swollen and wet from his kiss, her eyes dilated in passion.

“I think I’m in love with you too.”

Andy smiled big and pulled her back in for another kiss. After he pulled back, he reached for a box that was on a chair.  He opened it without showing Rory and took her right hand.  He slipped a ring onto her hand. Rory looked at it with curiosity. The platinum ring had a ruby heart with hands holding it in place and diamonds that decorated the band and crown on top of the heart.  It was beautiful and Rory gasped.  “Andy…”

“Sweetheart, this is a claddagh ring.  It’s an Irish tradition that a young lady receives this ring when she is of age.  Now when she is single, the point of the heart faces away from you on your right hand.” 

Rory looked down to see the ring on her hand the way he described.  She looked back at him.  “But when she is in a relationship with someone she loves,” he gently pulled the ring off and flipped it, sliding it back on, “the heart points towards you, signaling to the world that you are in love.”  He lifted her hand to kiss the ring on her finger. 

“Oh Andy,” her lip wobbled. “I love it so much.” 

“I just want the world to know that you’re my girl. I love you.” 

“I love you.” She moved to straddle his legs and kissing him all over his face.  She pulled back slightly.  “Think you could take me to bed?”

“Always sweetheart.”  He grasped her thighs and lifted her up, to her squeals. She wrapped her legs around his waist, and he walked her upstairs. It wasn’t frantic, no, it was more.  Andy took his time, undressing his sweet girl, tasting all of her skin, listening to her sighs and moans.  “Baby, so gorgeous.  Are you mine?”

“Yours, love, all yours,” she moaned as Andy took her with his mouth.  He sucked gently on her little bundle of nerves, but she still bucked wildly from the sensation. 

“Easy, love. I’ll take care of you.”  He licked and sucked until she had fallen over the edge from her first orgasm and then licked into her until he got to drink her second. “I can’t get enough of you.” 

“Andy,” she whimpered. “Want you, please.” 

“You don’t have to beg, baby girl.”  Andy kissed up her body until he caged her in.  “Hmm, can’t decide if I want you below me or above me.” 

“I want you to take me baby.  Make me yours.” Rory raked her nails through his bread, around his neck and to his back, garnering a shudder through his body.

“Fuck,” he mumbled.  He grabbed her wrist and placed them over her head, as he used his knee to nudge her legs apart more. “I can’t deny what my baby girl wants.” He was slow and gentle, pushing into her, allowing her to adjust.  She arched her back at the motion, loving the stretch and fullness she was feeling. Andy moved his hips in slow, deep thrusts into her, relishing in her warmth.  “Always so warm and tight sweetheart.” 

“Andy, let me touch you,” she pleaded. “I need to touch you.” He released her hands, and they were immediately in his hair and back.  He sped up slightly, pulling a leg over his waist, hitting her special spot over and over.  She cried out, lost in the sensation. “Andrew,” she wailed. 

He could feel her, gripping his cock, not want him away from her. She was pulsing, almost there but not ready to let go until he told her too.  She knew to wait, God, she knew it was better when Andy commanded her to let go. Andy was almost ready to blow.  “Aurora, cum for me, “he commanded, an octave lower and sending Rory into a spin. 

“Andy!” She screamed at the walls of the room vibrated, her vision tunneling as she forgot to breathe.  There was nothing in this world that could make her stop sucking him in.  Andy just needed a few more snaps of his hips before he released everything, draining his balls into his love.  It had never been like this before.  Not with Laurie or anyone else. 

Andy knew for sure that she, she was the love of his life. 

 Across town, Lloyd sipped his whiskey. He twisted the ring on his pinkie. “Just one more day,” he muttered, watching the feed from Andy’s home.  He smiled at no one. Ready to take his girl.

[koifish86]

Carefully frustrated

Ok so this is a sequel to 'No rest til' the sunrise'. Hurt/comfort. I drew a lot of what Remus was feeling in this fic from my own feeling with my disability, I see Remus as having arteritis if there is anything in this fic that you see doesn't fit with this description let me know I don't know a lot about arteritis apart from the research I did for this fic. I hope you like it :)

The sun dipped behind another cloud as Sirius flick the indicator to the left intending to follow the sign to the zoo.

“You have to go on the next right Sirius” Remus spoke up from the passenger seat.

“The sign says left, love”

“Yes, but that’ll take us to the queue, go right up here and we’ll cut round the back and park easy peasy”

“Is that even legal?” Remus shrugged in response as Sirius laughed lightly and flicked the indicator off and continued down the road. The right turn that Remus had indicated was more of an overgrown dirt track with several potholes. Sirius stared down the track wide eyed.

“Re?”

“Sirius your car will be fine it’s a four-by-four stop being a baby!” Remus was right of course his car was fine but that didn’t stop Sirius from pouting as he parked the car by the entrance to the zoo. The car doors were slammed simultaneously.

“Look at this!” Sirius gestured wildly “my car was clean this morning and now there’s dirt everywhere”

“Yeah, but no queueing”

“We’re British Remus all we do is queue”

“Yes and I’m sick of waiting to see the sun bears now lets go” the sandy haired man said with a smile and grabbed his boyfriends hand promptly pulling him to the entrance. Once they paid for the tickets the pair wondered around the zoo hand in hand. The sun bears were the first enclosure as it was the closest to them, but they slowly made their way around. As they approached the wolf section a plethora of jokes ensued.

“Hey, wolf wolf” Sirius started with a grin that was answered with an unenthusiastic groan from Remus “knock knock”

“Who’s there?” Remus’ voice was muffled from where his hand was in his hands.

“Howl” Remus poked his head up with renewed interested as this wasn’t a joke he’d heard from Sirius before. He still seemed unsure when he said the next line.

“…howl who?”

“Howl y’know until you open the door” the look on Remus’ face was better than the actual joke and caused Sirius to let out a loud barking laugh as Remus hide his face once more. Though it seemed like he was hiding his own laughter more than his embarrassment.

“It’s even worse that my mothers maiden name is Howell” Which set Sirius off on another round of loud ruckus laughter.

“Oh, Moony you are brilliant” he said with an air of finality dragging Remus down to plant a kiss on his cheek.

The pair made their way over to the sun bears and watched as on walked on his hind legs from side of the enclosure to the other. One of the bears was sat right in front of the window licking the glass as if it was the tastiest treat ever. They walked hand in hand down the path stopping briefly to look at the Medellin and Mangabey monkeys. They continued down the path quietly until Sirius suddenly pulled at Remus’ jacket arm like an over excited toddler until they stumbled over to the meerkats. A few of the babies ran around at the edge of the glass while the older ones poked their heads out of small holes in the logs almost imitating the game whack ‘a mole. Across the path was the lions den, the walls around it were so tall you had to climb a spiral of stairs up to the viewing platform. It wasn’t that busy, so the pair started to make their way up. Sirius bounded ahead taking it two steps at a time, Remus, however, grab the cold metal rail and started to pick his way up. After three steps an ache appeared in his right knee and caused him to clutch the rail tighter and clench his jaw in the hopes he could ignore his knee. Sirius had turned around when he reached the top and noticed his boyfriend was only a quarter of the way up. Immediately Sirius started picking his way down the narrow staircase and guilt flooded through Remus like a dam being opened. He wasn’t ashamed of his disability, but it wasn’t like he wanted it to be announced to everyone around him by the fact that he couldn’t get up a few stairs without hobbling. It made him feel so out of place, it seemed that way a lot. That he shouldn’t be here or anywhere, that he should hide away and get out of everyone’s way. But Sirius was there, with that stupid smile and those adoring eyes that never looked at him with any judgment, not once. Carefully his left hand was taken into Sirius’.

“Sorry love got a bit excited didn’t mean to leave you behind” and that’s what was so good about Sirius. He never made a fuss about Remus’ disability, never made him feel bad or different about it. he could just be so understanding sometimes it was infuriating and infatuating at the same time. How was this not annoying to him? Having to wait for Remus to climb a bunch of stupid stairs because his stupid arteritis decided right now was a good time to act up. Stupid stupid stupid. Perhaps if he was so pissed of with himself Remus could be more articulate than ‘stupid’ however he figured it was a good enough adjective for now. Together they slowly made to accent up the stairs and spent a while staring down at the lions den. One of the lioness’s was stretched out on her back basking in the sun, it seemed like a perfect nap spot and Remus informed Sirius of such. There wasn’t anywhere to sit up in the small watch tower so trying to keep all the weight of his aching joints was a task that Remus only just managed to succeed at leaning against the wall. They soon started to pick their way down the stairs and walked up to the top end of the zoo. The walk there was a little longer than Remus had anticipated at first, constantly having to put weight on his knee meant he was shifting a lot weight to his left side which made his hip start aching painfully and he didn’t even have his cain today because it had been a good fucking morning and he didn’t need it then. Logically he knew both his cain and wheelchair were in the car but that would mean walking all the way back through the zoo just to come back to this point and it wouldn’t be fair to Sirius to drag him through the zoo and back again. No, it was fine, he was fine. His teeth gritted and fists curled up tight. Sirius delicately touched the inside of his wrist and slid his hand down silently asking for permission to hold. Slowly Remus released the stiffness in his knuckles and spread his fingers out allowing Sirius hand to curl around his palm as a delicious sense of comfort washed over him. Ever so carefully Sirius pulled them to a stop and the side of the pathway and drop his voice low.

“Are you ok?” the tenderness in his voice almost made Remus cry. (and he had been holding it together so well). Words seemed to have failed him, so instead of replying with actual words Remus just gripped Sirius’ hand tighter.

“Alright.” Sirius seemed to study his next words with high regard. His gaze dropped to their joined hand causing dark tendrils of hair to fall in front of his face. When his gaze rose to Remus’ however they parted around his face framing it perfectly. “I can run back to the car and grab your wheelchair?” Shame began rising up in Remus like a tidal wave, he didn’t want to ruin the day by sending Sirius off to grab something that he didn’t need. He could walk, he could walk without any problems this morning he could walk now.

“I’m fin-“

“You are not fine you are in pain. I can see you clenching your jaw and limping on both sides like your trying to keep the weight of your entire body.” Sirius spoke with a slight tightness in his voice like he was angry that Remus hadn’t told him or that he couldn’t help.

“I don’t need my wheelchair; I’m fine I can do this without help.”

“There is no harm in you needing help Remus, you are in pain and if you don’t use a mobility aid you could cause more damage. Powering through this is helping no one.”

“I am not powering through anything. I don’t need it” Sirius softened quicker than butter on a hot day.

“Remus, love, it is ok. There is no shame in you needing help sometimes. You have chronic pain, your wheelchair or your cain is just a tool to help you move without issues. Just like James needs his glasses to see two feet in front of him and how I need my hearing aids to hear your beautiful voice” Sirius had a loving smile on his face, but his eyes were wary as if taking in everything Remus was doing.

Remus had been getting slowly more and more frustrated since the lions but a few soothing words from his boyfriend was like balm on his burning irritation. A slow nod made Sirius break out in a grin.

“I’m sorry you’re right. I just-“ The hand not wrapped around Sirius’ was dragged down his face in a huff of annoyance with himself. “today was supposed to be a good day”

“It still is love; your disability hasn’t ruined anything, and it never has. We can enjoy ourselves whether we walk a little slower for you or if your wheeling around. Being around you will always be my favourite pastime.”

“But no one else needs help walking around the fucking zoo for a day, its frustrating how my body makes me feel so weak” the dejected look on Remus’ face staring and the ground in between the couple was nearly enough to break Sirius’ heart.

“Darling, listen to me” Sirius right hand came to rest under Remus’ chin and pushed up slightly until golden flecks hidden within gorgeous amber eyes lifted to meet with grey storm clouds hidden in Sirius eyes. “Your disability does not make you weak Remus it makes you strong. Stronger than so many other people that I know. You can deal with it, persevere, and come out the other side there’s not a day that goes by where I am not in absolute awe of you Remus Lupin.”

Remus sniffled slightly and gently chuckled “sap”

“I suppose I am. Now lets get you to that bench over there and I will be right back.” And he was, it only took Sirius just over 5 minutes to grab the wheelchair from the car and run right back to Remus’ side. The weight off of his joints was an absolute god send and Sirius insisted on wheeling Remus around the wallaby walkabout. All in all it was a perfect day.

[lipstick-seductress911]

Trying to pass the time

Waiting to see your face

Watching the sunrise climb

I wish this wasn’t the case

You used to be excited to see me

Reality sent me reeling

You want me to let you be

Shrugging off the glances you’re stealing

You never knew how much I fought for you

As you lay beside her in bed

Unknown to the hell you put me through

Every goodbye filled with dread

I turned to him when I had no option

A poor substitute to quell my sanity

Handfuls of pills with a strong concoction

Trying to pull away from your gravity

I tried my best to love another

Make it easier for both of us

To you all I did was smother

But what You did was treacherous

What’s worse is my memory

Red glowing of that exit sign

Remembering how I felt with your eyes on me

Fingertips tracing your spine

I remember us laughing

I remember us crying

I remember tongues clashing

I remember us lying

Envied how easy you made it seem

Just another chapter in your book

Maybe it was all just a dream

Another queue I may have mistook

Held on to anything tangible

Hoped I didn’t make believe

Leaving me behind became understandable

A love I could never hope to retrieve

The emotions that were all too consuming

I turned them off once you told me how you felt

my head and heart were left disputing

A hand I couldn’t afford to be dealt

My brain left me pacing

Thoughts left me feeling crazy

Can’t keep my heart from racing

Cigarette smoke kept my focus hazy

I wish I could pull back and push you away

Forget about your love and all the things that make you kind

I’d give almost anything to make you stay

I could never bring myself to leave you behind

[chaletnz]

Salt Lake Saturday

I'd dragged myself out of bed at 4:30am to get ready and eat some terrible Raisin Bran at the "buffet" breakfast before the shuttle driver took me to the airport. There was a magnificent pink sunrise which definitely helped lift my spirits as we drove down the road. Inside the airport was an insane queue of people waiting to go through security that wound around the entire lower level of the departures terminal. Luckily I had allowed extra time and even with the 40 minutes taken up getting through I still had time to people watch at the gate. I was checking the sizes of everyone else's backpacks to compare to mine and the guy standing opposite me had a similar sized bag so I figured I'd be fine - the attendant didn't bat an eye and that guy ended up sitting beside me on the plane. We chatted a bit and he was friendly, he couldn't give me any tips or suggestions on what to do but he tried to help me find the light rail to take me into the city which was an awkward 15 minute walk with this guy I didn't know but felt like I needed to walk at pace with... Eventually I saw it and ran because it was 1 minute to departure. The ticket machines were not working so after three attempts to buy one I just hopped on and hoped for no ticket patrollers. I sat through seven anxious stops and got off in the central city area to enjoy a perfect flat white and a scone at Three Pines Coffee. I'd tried many coffees around Summit County where I live, and when I was in Seattle but this was definitely the best one I'd had in the USA so far! The scone was a little bit small but the cafe was nice and I sat for a while to plan out my weekend. Before it got really hot I went for a wander downtown to the courthouse and Washington Square where they were sound-checking and setting up for a music festival that would start later. There wasn't too much else down this end of the city so I went to find somewhere I could put my contacts in and found a nice bathroom at the City Creek mall. With my vision comfortably restored I walked on to the next landmarks which were the Temple and Tabernacle - the two big Mormon sites that must be included in any visit to Salt Lake City. Unfortunately the Temple was covered up for renovations but I was able to get in the Tabernacle to watch someone playing the giant organ for a while. Everyone was super friendly and greeted me all around the gated area, but also on the streets outside as they passed by with their Bibles clutched close to their chests. I couldn't shake the thought that they were all trying to convert passersby though... My next adventure was a walk up the hill to the Utah State Capital building. Again, with no idea what to expect I was pleasantly surprised by the fact I could actually go inside. There was a protest in motion outside; a peaceful mob with angry signs calling their representatives to vote against criminalising abortions. Inside it was very quiet, and well let's just say that it's obvious that state money is first filtered through the government hands... It was beautifully appointed, with large statues, columns, and murals, shiny white tiles, and polished marble staircases. There were glass displays showcasing the best of Utah. According to one display the beehive is an old Mormon symbol for industry, perseverance and thrift. Early settlers had wanted to call the state Deseret after the word in the Book of Mormon meaning "honeybee", they didn't quite get the name but they did get a beehive on the official Utah state seal. I enjoyed a lunch of Chick-fil-A, and then after checking in to my hotel took another walk out to Trolley Square which was a station repurposed to be a mall. The Gilgal sculpture garden was nearby too which was cool, but of course full of stupid kids that ruined it by ignoring the ropes and climbing all over the artworks. I sat to watch the sunset at Sugar House Park with a punnet of blackberries and then rode back to my hotel. On the way I managed to catch a fleeting glimpse of East High School on the bus route - famous for being the setting of High School Musical!

[bookuya]

i am a person of my words so here i am, humbly asking for a match-up for ur event >:))

i don't mind any gender so that's that. now about me, i tend to be a quiet person around people i'm not close to with but once we're closer, i reveal my true self aka someone who likes to prank people, make them laugh. i'm not good at comforting someone but i'm always there to listen and lend them an helping ear or hand if they need someone to lean on.

my hobbies are: sleeping (yes), reading, cooking and shopping. i like bubble tea, cats and dogs. i dislike long queues and having to wait for a long time. my ideal date is either at those cafes or restaurants where we can try the delicious food hehe <3 (honestly anywhere is fine ig, as long as we can spend time tgt thats all it matters xoxo) i'd like to be adventurous which means sky-diving, hiking, skiing and many more !!

ok i think that's quite enough,, congrats for hitting 1k once again <3 ! xoxo

match me with kazuha or else /j

my first customer <33 hello hello! despite the last line of your ask, i kept thinking about this one character while reading your description but i'll explain why!! here goes :)

i match you with.... kaedehara kazuha!

while i don't see kazuha to be loud, i don't see him to be completely silent either. he merely watches from the sidelines while you talk with beidou or help around on the ship. from time to time he'll wave to you and smile a bit when you wave back with the same grin.

once you two get to know each other more/get closer, there will be a lot of one talking and the other listening! this is an assumption but i feel like you have definitely gone through some stuff, but kept it to yourself as to not burden/worry others with your problems. while you pay attention to kazuha's talks and haikus he also listens to you, often reminding you that if you ever needed anything he's there, even through times where you feel like you're alone.

onto the pranking part! sometimes he watches in amusement, sometimes he joins along, but most of the time he keeps an eye on you and pulls you out of trouble if needed. beidou thinks it's funny to see you run around with kazuha close behind to chase you away from trouble.

in a modern au setting, i think kazuha would put away his own desires to do what you want first. wanna try out a new restaurant that just opened up downtown? he's already making a reservation. and if the wait time is long, he offers his shoulder for you to sleep on before you guys have to go into the building to eat.

whenever he goes over to your place your favorite bubble tea drink is in his hand! kazuha always buys it for you like it's tradition and also steals a sip from it every time like it's tradition. he hands it to you with a teasing smile on his face like he didn't just do anything wrong (fight for your drink bae)

imagine hiking to see the sunrise with kazuha?? he knows it's a favorite thing of yours so he tries his best to wake up extremely early. while hiking, he always stays behind you in case if you accidentally fall (he doesn't want you getting hurt of course) and while you watch the sunrise, he admires you and the amazing smile that makes its way to your face. to end this off, kazuha leans over and gives you a kiss (not right on the lips, but the top of your cheek!) and genuinely says about how grateful he is for this moment with you.

for my first time doing matchups (im not sure if its done properly LOL) i'm still proud of it! second place went to amber, i could see her listening and comforting you through and through if you needed it. and although she's in the knights of favonius i could see her assisting you with your pranks <3

[badwithten]

〉jisung x fem!reader

〉word count 542

〉from my 500 follower event

〉for @moonbeamsung​ i’m never awake this early but i hope i did it justice! enjoy <3

A dinner invite turned into a movie marathon turned into a snack run that turned into a video game competition that eventually leads you to an all-nighter. Jisung was too shy to admit his feelings just yet. But he still wanted to spend as much time with you as possible. It didn’t feel right to just ask you to hang out with no excuse so any reason to keep you around was good enough for him to ask.

For example, he sent you a casual text, asking if you wanted to come round to the dorms for dinner one night when Jaemin was cooking after hearing about his ‘skills’. But then as the meal was coming to an end he suggested you stayed and watched that new movie he had heard you talking about. A movie that he had already seen and hated, but if it could keep you around, that was enough. So when the final scenes came on, almost as if on queue, his stomach rumbled and he bought up the fact that a 24/7 convenience store was just down the road if you wanted to grab some snacks. And he wouldn’t just buy snacks for a whole night if you were going to go home which lead the two of you to a Mario Kart tournament. And by the time you guys had grown bored, it was already becoming morning, the sun would soon awaken.

“Can I show you something?” But he still wasn’t ready for his time with you to be over, offering you his hand as the two of you climbed to the roof, relaxing on the cold concrete while you waited for his surprise.

And then it happened, the sun emerging from the horizon. A beautiful array of oranges, reds and pinks blinding you. You were amazed, never seeing the sunrise in such a way. You stood from your place, moving to the railing. Jisung followed behind. Amazed by the beauty of such a sight, but his eyes weren’t on the sun. He snapped out of it pretty soon, feeling embarrassed at himself. But the glowing light on your skin made you a goddess in his eyes.

“It’s beautiful” You turned to him after quite some time, a small smile present on your face. The reflection of the sun shining in your eyes, purples and pinks keeping the light alive. “Thank you for showing me this Jisung” Your hand found his again, pulling him closer to place a kiss on your face. The simple gesture made him freeze up, face heating up and heart missing many beats. “Now let’s go to bed, I’m exhausted”

Your hand trails behind you, keeping the two of you touching as you head back down. Time with Jisung was always well spent, no matter what it was you two got up to. You could see past his stutters and excuses, knowing there was no way he would really want to watch the shitty romcom you had suggested. You knew he was nervous but if he had just invited you around to stay, you would have said yes. No need for silly excuses and bad lies. As long as it was with him, you knew you would have a good time.

[jjpmoans]

t’aimer sans cesse

↦ song: Hesitate from Eyes On You 

↦ lyrics: 'Yes, you, why are you making me this confused?/ I don't get you any more' 

↦ word count : 9k+

↦ genre : roommates to lovers

↦ warnings : fluffs, angst if you squint really hard

↦ summary : Park Jinyoung. You. Jeong Jaehyun. As complicated as it seems, you’d be honest when you said, you didn’t expect to be involved in this whole love triangle. Have you been missing signals or have he been sending you absolutely invisible signals? Is your radar broken? How have you not know? How have you been so dense? How long have you been foolishly hurting him?

↦ a/n : Hey everyone! I’m back with a new fic! I’m soo sorry it’s been a drought here on my blog. But i’m back and looks like Mr Jeong is joining us this time~ Anyways, this fic is written for the GOT7 Alive Fest on twitter and if anyone is interested, go check it out on @/GOT7_Alive_2020. They have both artists and writers joining the fest! Most of them post on ao3 and I am probably the only one who post on tumblr. Nevermind that, I hope you love the fic! Thank you for reading!

Morning classes are by far, the most hated part of your schedule. You don’t like waking up early, which explains why you’re not a morning person. You don’t remember when was the last time you met the morning birds and the sunrise since you usually wake up after ten in the morning and the sun is already up. You missed the chirping and the first ray of the morning but you’d trade anything for sleep at the moment. 

“Jinyoung.” you groan when you feel a finger poking your cheek and pinching it. You know it’s him, who else is patient to wake you up? Bambam and Yugyeom have long given up trying to wake you since you refused all their advances, even coaxing you with food. “I don’t want to wake up.”

You heard a few rustling and you exhaled in relief. Perhaps Jinyoung will let you off the hook and let you sleep this once. You don’t have that many morning classes, to be honest. You only have one, and that’s on every Tuesday. Usually you wake up and sign the attendance then go back to sleep since you had online learning for this semester, but since the situation has toned down and the university has reopened, today marks the first day of on-site class. 

“Hey, sleepyhead.” you hear his voice and a few seconds later, you feel your face getting wet and his palm softly applying cold water all over your face. Another dip into the basin and he returns his palm to your face with another round of wiping the cold water all over your face which he carefully presses it on your eyelids. “Wake up. You have class at nine.”

You grumble, turning away from him to continue sleeping but at this moment, you’re almost wide awake after he technically washes your face for you. You can hear Jinyoung chuckling and you’re positive now that he has successfully woken you up. “Urgh. I hate how you wake me up easily.”

“Not my fault that I’m an expert.” he laughs upon seeing you getting out of his bed and into the bathroom. “Hurry up. I’m taking you to breakfast.”

“For what?” you appear again with your toothbrush inside your mouth. 

“To eat, you dummy. Your class ends at eleven and you’d be starving by then.” he picks a book out of your shared bookshelf, flipping it to the page he left before. “Hurry up! I’m giving you ten minutes!”

You stare in disbelief at him and when he sees you’re unmoved, he throws you one of your small pillows to get you moving. “Tik tok, y/n! Move fast!”

“I can’t believe you shove me into the bathroom.” you frown when Jinyoung just laugh at your complaint. He indeed shoved you into the shower after you’ve been standing for too long while brushing your teeth. “We aren’t even late!”

“You’ll thank me later.” Jinyoung grins, walking into the busy cafe. People are getting their first coffee supply of the day and so do you. Jinyoung and you are both coffee people, it just made sense to start the day with a cup of iced Americano.

As usual, Jinyoung will queue up so you can find a seat for both of you while waiting. It’s easy to catch a spot in the cafe during the morning since most people pack to-go breakfast. So you carefully choose a table for two, a bit far from the counter and hidden from the excessive sun exposure but still be able to see people entering the cafe. 

It’s just an unconscious habit of yours, to watch whoever that passes through the door. It’s just amusing to you how most people fall into the same time schedule, about fifty people probably have the same class to attend and twenty seven of them need coffee before class. 

“Here.” a tray of drinks and food appears before you, you make space for Jinyoung to place the drinks out of the tray and put the tray away. It’s so obvious which one of the food is yours and which one is Jinyoung’s. He prefers to have croissants for breakfast while you prefer egg sandwiches since you’ll be fuller and can last until lunch time. “Saw anyone you know?”

You shake your head before taking a big bite of your sandwich, munching them happily. The man before you just laugh at your behaviour, fifteen minutes ago you were wrestling with him to get into the shower and now you’re just behaving like a child, eating her breakfast with joy.

He sees the corner of your lips smudged with the mayo and his heart skips a beat, wondering how can you be so adorable being so messy. He can’t stand someone munching loudly but here he is, watching the corner of your lips moving and the sauce is still there. So he extends his hand, wiping your lips and retracts to lick his thumb back, before going back to eat his own croissant.

You didn’t mind, it’s not actually out of the ordinary. Jinyoung smiles, knowing how comfortable you are with him. Sometimes he wishes you don’t, because right now he just wanted to let you know how badly he’s in love with you. 

But of course he can’t. As best friends, he can’t. His feelings aren’t worth the awkward encounters or the cold treatment you’ll be giving him once you learn that he��s in love with you. 

“Alright so for the assignment partners,” your professor announces, indicating the class is ending in ten minutes. During the quarantine, he has decided that all assignments will be graded individually since the quarantine was expected to run longer. However with the on-site classes coming to life again, he wanted to make the last assignment graded in partners, so that he can actually provide better materials for the lecturers audit session. 

You heard your name being called and you swear your breath hitches when another name follows yours, loud and clear. “Jeong Jaehyun.”

“Oh my god.” your friend next to you gasps, utterly speechless at revelation of your partner. You as well, are shocked and completely blank out. “Oh my god. You got the golden boy.”

“Oh my god.” repeating the phrase over and over again, your friend taps you multiple times and you feel your throat dried. One of the reasons why she’s so excited is because you’ve developed a crush towards the golden boy from the start of the semester and she knows. She, who goes by the name Mina, is your only friend from the same course.  However it was short lived since you only got three classes with him and the quarantine started. Either way, you’ve completely forgotten about your crush until he was brought up again, 

You took Mathematics as an elective just because you thought it was fun and you wanted to try it. Jinyoung couldn’t make it, Psychology students are always packed and you, as the Language student, have too much time to spare.

“Mina. this is insane.” you are having a minor breakdown and Mina isn’t helping, squealing when she sees Jaehyun walking over towards your seat, nudging you not so subtly. “My lord, don’t nudge me like that-”

He stops in front of you and for a second you forget how to breathe, extremely mesmerized by his presence. Here’s why he’s the golden boy.

You knew from a classmate that he comes from the Engineering faculty, taking Mathematics as one of his complementary subjects in order to fulfill his credit hours requirement for this semester. It’s a given that he excels in mathematics as he’s an engineering student but his other achievements make him even more dreamy and absolutely golden. 

Jaehyun is also very popular in sports, he’s one of the baseball club players, the one and only sport club that is making names for your university. It doesn’t need you to attend their matches to know how well he’s been playing. His fame makes up for it. They have been winning almost every match and well, he contributes about two third of the scores. Above all of that, he’s apparently a member of NCT frat, where every single member is magnificently handsome, carved and painted by god himself.

In short, he’s the standard boyfriend you’ll never get.

“Uhm.” okay he has a bit of a flaw — no, not a flaw. Despite how famous he is, he’s apparently an introvert. He gets shy quite easily, more reasons to like him. The tip of his ears will be red if he feels nervous or shy and you don’t know what is cuter than that. “Hey.”

You forgot how to talk just by looking at him. Never would you have thought you’d be able to talk to him, well given the situation and his social status, you have no doubt you’re out of his circle. It’s only when Mina secretly pinches your thigh that you manage to find your voice, clearing your throat to reply to him. “Hi. Sorry, I’ve been so rude. I’m y/n.”

He offers you a smile. Jeong Jaehyun offers you a smile. You can finally die in peace. “I know. I’ve heard a lot of things about you.”

Oh. What is this? How does he know about you? Scratch that, why would he know anything about you?

“Wha- what? Excuse me?”

He chuckles and Mina’s gasp is completely audible to your ears now, you have no idea if Jaehyun catches that. But you know he does, after all his ears won’t lie to him. “I know you. You’re Jinyoung’s girlfriend.”

Even nothing comes out from Mina, you know she’s laughing. Of course, your reputation is affiliated with Jinyoung. There isn’t any person on the campus who doesn’t know about you and Jinyoung. To say you’re Jinyoung’s best friend is absolutely underrated, so they upgraded your status to Jinyoung’s girlfriend. You’re so close to Jinyoung that it made a lot of his fangirls mad. Why? Because just like Jaehyun, Jinyoung is a member of a frat. 

GOT frat specifically.

Things got complicated and you got his fangirls harassing you to the extent of harming you in your own house during your first semester. After much consideration, Jinyoung figured that it is safer for you to stay with him instead. No one will be able to harm you in a frat house, mainly because he is there but also, his members are very protective of you too. 

Hence he got Jaebeom to go to the administration and arranged your residency exchange. You have no idea how Jaebeom managed to convince them since no girls are allowed to reside in an all boys frat. However he powered through and the news spread as fast as they could, making you officially Jinyoung’s girlfriend and off market.

“Lord, not this again.” you mutter quietly but goodness gracious of course he heard it. Jaehyun’s laughter resonates again and this time you decided to just fuck it. “Firstly no, I’m not Jinyoung’s girlfriend. I’m his best friend and I have no idea why people keep saying I’m his girlfriend.”

“Maybe because you act like a couple?” Jaehyun offers his thoughts. Probably it’s true, Jinyoung has a soft spot for you. Maybe because he feels sorry for what you’ve been through, however you don’t mind. You love when Jinyoung is being protective of you. It reminds you of how much he cared for you.

“Yeah. Nevermind that. Do you want to talk about the assignment?” you hate to ruin the moment but you figured he needed to go somewhere and you’re already holding him back. If you want to chit chat, you can do it when you meet for the assignment.

“Oh yes.” he quickly whips out his phone and scans the task given, quickly sliding his phone to your direction. “Okay so I’ve done question no 1 and just need you to look over them in case I did them wrong-”

He- what? He already did the assignment? Screw it, you’re in love with him already.

“So we just need to work on the second question.” he finishes his sentence and looks up to you, flashing his dimples away. Ah right, his deep dimples are exactly the reason why you’ve taken a liking in him. Whenever you have online classes, a strand of his luscious brown hair will naturally parted away from the others, his dimples showing up occasionally when he’s solving questions. Out of every single window on the screen, you’ve been intently watching his window, mesmerized by his good looking face. “I guess we can set the time and place for us to work on this?”

You unconsciously nod, before quickly snapping out of your thoughts. “Yeah, I’m actually fine anywhere. I’ll check my schedules and we can try to set any time for it?”

Jaehyun hums, hesitated before asking, “Will you be comfortable if we do it at my place?”

Another quiet squeal makes you roll your eyes, at this point Mina isn’t trying to be subtle anymore. Jaehyun has been laughing whenever she lets out any kind of noises, which embarrass you even more. “Wait- you mean NCT frat!?”

You can’t believe she just asked that. 

“Wow, y/n. Spare me some of your luck, please.” she tugs on your arms to which you shrug her off easily.

“Shut up.” you tell her before catching Jaehyun’s attention again. “I’m okay with NCT frat. I’ll text you before I come over?”

“Yeah,” he replies distractedly when his phone shows an incoming voice call, seeming important since he freaks out, whipping his head to the door. “Sorry, the boys are having some meeting and I need to go now.”

He hands you his phone, his dial pad showing up. “Put your number in. I’ll text you.”

If someone ever tells you that Jeong Jaehyun will offer his phone to get your number, even for an assignment, you’d definitely assume that they’re insane and tell them to stop giving you false hope. But now you’re filling your phone number in Jeong Jaehyun’s phone and it feels more like a dream than a reality.

Only when he’s out of the lecture hall that you’re able to breathe, accompanied by Mina’s never ending teasing. Lord, why are you being extra kind today?

Unknown Hey it’s Jaehyun :)

You almost drop your phone before making unrealistic noises, your heart jumping in joy. You don’t wish to disturb Jinyoung who’s studying at his table but this calls for celebration. 

“Oh my god!” you decided to let it loose and quickly dance in the middle of your room out of giddiness. Jeong Jaehyun has officially texted you and he’s waiting for you to reply. “Oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh!!”

Jinyoung stares at your dancing figure with an eyebrow raised, his pen in between his teeth. To say that your sudden dance abnormal is an understatement, he’s been watching you do even crazier and dumber things in the middle of the night during examination weeks but that’s out of stress. So he lets you cool down – not really since you’re still grinning while holding your phone. Definitely, something is wrong.

“Wait how do I reply-” you fumble with your keyboard, thinking of a proper sentence. It’s been three minutes since his text and it’s the perfect time to reply back. You have to act like you didn’t wait for him to reply.

Y/n Hi! Yeap, y/n here.

What do you say more? Did the meeting go well?

You contemplate writing another sentence when his reply comes in, startling you in the process.

Unknown Have you checked your schedule? What day are you free?

Y/n I did and I am free on monday and wednesday afternoon, then friday evening. Hbu?

Unknown Oh crap. I’m only free on wednesday evening 

Golden boy curses too? Oohh, hot.

Y/n Uh… I don’t mind doing it on the weekend? If you don’t have practise or anything.

Unknown Unfortunately [Sticker] I have baseball practice in the morning. But

Y/n But what

Unknown Can we make it at night? We can do the assignment in the next two weeks.  I have an upcoming submission and I’m fully booked this weekend. I’m sorry I promise you I’ll provide you snacks.

Y/n What am I? Five years old? [Sticker] I don’t mind. The due date is still far away.

Unknown Oh so you don’t want snacks?

Y/n Shut up. Give me McDonalds.

Unknown Deal. A princess will get what princess wants.

Your heart skips a beat. He calls you princess? From the first text? This sounds like a frat boy attitude. For a moment you laugh at yourself, of course he is. He’s technically a frat boy.

“Okay you’re creeping me out.” Jinyoung finally stands up from his study table and proceeds to sit on his bed. Your study table is next to his bed while his study table is at the foot of his bed. “You’ve been smiling creepily while texting. Who’re you texting with?”

You quickly reply to Jaehyun with a sticker and lock your phone, facing Jinyoung who’s still confused about what’s going on. You can’t handle this alone and you need to tell Jinyoung. If anything, Jinyoung is the first person that shall know.

“You know Jeong Jaehyun?”

He gives you an incredulous look, of course, who doesn’t know Jeong Jaehyun? One must be blind and deaf if they don’t know the golden boy. “Really? You’re asking me this now?”

You dismiss him immediately, moving to sit next to him on his bed. “He texted me.”

“He texted you?”

“Yes!” you almost screamed at him but hold back and throw yourself on his pillow, kicking the air. “We got partnered for an assignment and he texted me!”

Jinyoung is absolutely clueless because he stares at you again, confused. “So? Why are you so happy about it?”

“Oh god Jinyoung! You don’t understand!”

“Then tell me! And for god sake stop kicking already!”

You sit back up and watch Jinyoung carefully, before explaining, “Jinyoung. A handsome boy, from NCT frat texted me. And he’s not just any NCT member, he’s the golden boy. The standard boyfriend-you’ll-never-have. The Jeong Jaehyun.”

“And he texted me. And he calls me princess!” You watch Jinyoung’s face contorted with disgust and you push him away roughly. He would never understand. He’s not having a crush on Jaehyun.

“So what? I can call you princess too. What’s so special?” Jinyoung has now moved higher on the bed and his hands are crossed. This is why you need a girl best friend. When you have a boy best friend they are so dumb and they can’t understand this joy.

“Oh god. Because he’s so dreamy and I got a crush on him!” you lunge towards Jinyoung and shake him, forcing the information to sink inside his brain. “My crush just called me princess, can you believe it!!???”

“You have a crush on Jaehyun?”

“Urgh. You’re so slow.” you get up and reach for the door, yanking it open. “I’m going to Jackson. He’ll be more enthusiastic to listen to my story than you.”

You close the door and leave Jinyoung alone, stoned and unmoved on his bed.

You didn’t realise it but the previous sentence left Jinyoung speechless, sending him into a shock.

You like Jeong Jaehyun? Oh shit. Jinyoung is in a deep deep shit.

“Hi.” the door opens, revealing Johnny who looks like he’s been expecting you for a while. 

“Oh! Y/n!” he screams, well not screaming but definitely a higher octave than usual conversation tone. “Come in! Jaehyun told us that you’re coming over.”

Like you have agreed, Jaehyun invites you to come over two weeks after You enter the house, a fresh smell greeting you softly. The layout of the frat is just like yours, except that it is bigger, well to accommodate 21 people in one house. There’s only a few minor differences from your house, like how the kitchen and the living room looks extremely bigger.

You spot someone at the kitchen and you nod timidly, showing your respect in someone’s house. Lord, you feel overwhelmed.

“Who’s at the door- oh!” a high pitched tone yell from the fridge and you see Lucas hugging a jar of milk, probably taking it out. “Jaehyun hyung! Your pretty partner is here!”

You blush at the nickname, quickly trail behind Johnny who offers to send you to Jaehyun’s room. You agree, you can’t possibly manage to find his room by yourself. Actually, you take your words back. This house has a different layout than GOT’s frat, definitely you won’t trust yourself around here. One mistake and you’d probably end up in a room with at least three naked men.

“I have no idea why you’d yell, Lucas.” Johnny comments, ascending the stairs. “Jaehyun can’t even hear you.”

“I know. I just want to call her pretty.”

“Oh god.” your face reddens when Lucas continues to tease you that by the time you reach Jaehyun’s room, you’re as bright as a tomato.

“Heyyy you’re here- wow what happened? Why are you so red?” as soon as he opens his door, Jaehyun bends over to see your reddening face, scanning for any suspicious injury. Johnny however, starts laughing and he’s lucky you just met him today or else you’d already jab him with your fist. “Come one, Johnny. Who did this to her?”

“Lucas that kid. He’s teasing her all the way up the stairs.”

“Oh.” Jaehyun laughs as well, beckoning you to enter his room. “Shut that one up for me.”

“Aite, golden boy.”

You manage to tone down your redness after fanning it while watching Jaehyun’s minimally decorated room, all in black and white, three beds lining up next to each other, the study table at one corner and their closet at the other end. It’s a big room and with three people living in it, it still has spaces to work on the floor.

“Sorry if you find it messy.” Jaehyun rubs the back of his head sheepishly when you seated yourself on the floor, in front of the folding table that he has prepared. “I forced Jungwoo and Jeno to clean the room since you’re coming over.”

“So if you find anything suspicious, just ignore them okay?” you chuckle at his choice of words, as if you’d probably find something. The whole room looks clean, or so how it looks. You doubt you can find anything.

“I’m serious. I always find questionable things and you don’t want to know what they are.”

“Oh.” now that is something you didn’t think of. You know how they always hold parties and a lot of people come over, but you definitely didn’t think of that. “Okay now I’m afraid to move.”

Jaehyun lets out a hearty laugh, seating himself next to you comfortably. “Don’t worry. Nothing can harm you here.”

“Knock knock!” instead of knocking, Haechan chooses to enunciate the sound and in a split second he opens the door, posing at the door frame. “The delivery man is here and I’m not rich to pay for it.”

Jaehyun sighs as he pulls out his wallet, throwing it to Haechan. “Swipe it.”

You turn to Jaehyun, halting in your calculation. “Did you really order McDonalds?”

“I promised you.” he says softly, looking back at his own paper. “What my princess wants is what my princess gets.”

You swear the air suddenly gets hotter and Jaehyun turns super flirty since his first text. You kept texting back and forth, the awkward texts have long forgotten, now it’s always him asking you about your day and sending memes he found on the internet. 

“Are we flirting now?”

“Depends on how you define flirt.” he smiles and that damn dimples show up again, impossible making you even more giddy. “I’d say, I’m being me.”

“This is how you are?” you look at him up and down, giving him a disapproving look. “Do you flirt with every girl you meet?”

Jaehyun comes closer to you, looking at you straight in the eye. “I’ll have you know one thing.”

“I never bring any girl into the frat. Not even hookups.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t do hookups.”

“But I’m just an assignment partner.”

“Definitely not for me.”

You later learnt that Jaehyun has ordered every single meal on the menu because he doesn’t know what you like. You almost got tricked when you came downstairs and saw the food untouched when all the boys were practically circling the dining table but no one touched anything. It’s only after you picked your burger, fries and drink together with Jaehyun’s food that Haechan sprinted towards the table and started the food war with others.

“You just have to ask me, you know.” you tell him while he walks you home, smiling sheepishly while getting scolded. “You wasted a lot on the meals.”

“It’s not wasting.” he defends himself. “I let everyone eat the remaining. It’s not wasting.”

“Yeah, that’s one thing.”

The walk home is silent, a comforting silent. His house and yours is just a few houses apart but he still insists on sending you home. It feels so short because just in five minutes, you fall in step in front of your house. Tonight, you experience something new. You experience another set of happiness, surrounded by Jaehyun and his friends.

It’s different from being with Jinyoung and the boys, it just feels like it. With GOT frat, you feel like home while with NCT frat, you feel exhilarated.

“Hey.” you hear Jaehyun calls, making you turn to him. “I want to let you know that I enjoy talking to you.”

Your features soften, of course, you like talking to him too. “Same here, Jaehyun.”

He grins, walking backwards. “Talk to you later!”

“Good night pretty girl!” you shush him when he shouts a bit too loud. He laughs, running to his house while screaming the same sentence, absolutely madness. You love talking to him, perhaps a bit more than he does.

“Jinyoung.” he calls, trying to shake the said male into reality. However he gives no response, staring into space making Jaebeom sigh in frustration. “Stop making that face. It’s obvious enough that you’re jealous.”

“What face?” Jinyoung glares, putting his Americano cup down and exhales shakily. He knows what kind of face Jaebeom was referring to. His annoyed face. “I am not jealous.”

“Oh really? Geez, I would never know,” Jaebeom rolls his eyes sarcastically. If looks can slice, Jaehyun must have been slaughtered by the Jinyoung’s total concentration water breathing form and poof! He’d be a verified demon slayer. 

“Shut up.” It’s been an hour and you are still there, sitting at the table by the window, talking to Jaehyun. He has been eyeing you since you entered the cafe and was about to call for you but realised that a certain male has followed you after, seating both of you further from people. He’s not mad, no. He’s a tad bit sad. He doesn’t like this unsettling feeling and it hurts even more when he sees Jaehyun’s concentrated eyes gazing on you.

He knows that gaze. That’s just how he looks at you.

Ever since you first told him that Jaehyun texted you, something has changed. You start spending less and less time with him and more time with Jaehyun. You start waking early and rush downstairs, just to go on a morning walk with Jaehyun. At night when it’s supposed to be your time with Jinyoung, you’d spend it talking to Jaehyun, if not texting all night.

You haven’t realised it but Jinyoung is extremely jealous. 

He never had you that enthusiastic with him. You’re always you, nothing special you’d change just for Jinyoung. And the thought of it makes him sad, sad that he’s actually just a friend. 

“I think you should tell her, you know.” Jaebeom starts. Ever since you revealed that you had a crush on Jaehyun, Jinyoung has been constantly broken. It’s like you pressed a switch inside his brain and he malfunctioned himself. It’s rare to see Jinyoung acting out of character but this is what love does to people. It made you go insane. “What’s the point of torturing yourself watching the woman you love talking to another handsome man with heart shooting out of her eyes?”

“So you agree he’s handsome?”

“Jinyoung.” Jaebeom shakes his head exaggeratedly. “It’s Jeong Jaehyun we’re talking about. We all know that NCT house has some magic shit going around because every single member from that frat is drop dead hot and handsome. Now don’t avoid this. Tell her before it’s too late.”

Jinyoung has officially gone blank. He wanted to tell her, he really does. Jinyoung can’t count those nights where he has drawn a perfect plan in his mind, watching you sleep while mouthing unsaid words to you. He really wanted to tell you that he loves you. He had been in love with you for so long, he has forgotten when exactly he harboured his feelings for you. All he knows, one day he woke up and he felt his heart threatened to burst at the sight of you. 

However every single plan has its flaws and Jinyoung’s plan involves throwing your friendship into the mix. If only he’s not afraid to risk your friendship, he would have tried his damn luck. He would have confessed and he wouldn’t give any damn whether you’d be awkward or not. Things will be easier if he has no attachment. Yet, this attachment is the thinnest line he wouldn’t dare to cross.

“I can’t, Beom-ah.” he sounds helpless, the most helpless Jaebeom ever heard and they are childhood friends. He knew Jinyoung since they were eleven and nothing, nothing  ever broke Jinyoung this bad. Jinyoung is never a quitter but this time, Jaebeom sees him quitting. “I can’t risk our friendship, Jaebeom. I can’t. I can handle her fawning over someone else but I can’t afford being apart from her.”

Jinyoung is never helpless but somehow, he’s helpless when it comes to you.

“So you’re going to let her date Jaehyun?” Jaebeom, though his heart wrenches seeing Jinyoung so broken, he’s not going to let Jinyoung give up. “Because I’m telling you, Jinyoung. Jaehyun isn’t playing. We know how someone looks when they’re in love. I’ve seen it on you and believe me or not, I saw it on Jaehyun.”

Jinyoung has never been unconfident. He’s always that one student who is constantly positive that it will turn out well in the end. He believes that even if it’s bad now, it will be better soon. Beat him but now, he sees nothing like that. He can’t bring himself to think that if he confesses to you it will turn out good. That even if something happens, even if you distance yourself from him, you will be okay in the end.

Because it won’t.

“Tell her before it’s too late please.” half pleading, Jaebeom just can’t see his friend being this lost. “Tell her even if it risks your relationship.”

“What if I lose her?” he can’t answer that, of course Jaebeom can’t. It’s not his place to make an escape plan, it certainly is not his place to come up with your answer. But there’s one thing he is sure of.

“Then she certainly doesn’t deserve you.” 

“I need to talk to you.” Jinyoung starts, watching you focusing on your screen. Like always, you are grinning, probably laughing at some TikTok videos that Jaehyun sent you. 

“One second, Jinyoung.” you quickly type a reply and lock the phone, setting it face down. Another thing that has changed ever since you started talking to Jaehyun. Before, you had nothing to hide but now? Jinyoung doesn’t know you anymore.

You’re now totally focused on him, your eyes staring straight into his eyes but it’s different. It doesn’t feel the same. It feels like you’re someone else. You’re not his girl anymore. 

“Jinyoung?”

“Hm?” it’s bothering him how foreign his name comes out from you. It’s been a month and if he counts, you probably utter his name only twice a day. “Oh yes. The talk.”

You are sitting cross legged on your chair, waiting patiently for Jinyoung to start. You realised it too, that you’ve been spending less time with Jinyoung. You do feel sorry for him and you have an inkling that he wanted to talk to you about it. Jinyoung rarely needs to have a talk with you unless he feels bothered, and now you can see how bothered he is.

Taking a look at him, you suddenly feel your heart wrenches. How long have you stopped giving attention to Jinyoung? He has this frown on his face now, sometime you never see before. His hair is a bit longer and his hair colour is a lighter shade of brown. 

Who dyed his hair for him? After all, it must have not been you, since you’re busy hanging out with Jaehyun. But usually, you dyed his hair for him, saying you’re the only one who knows how to dye hair properly. Now that you look back, this concern is probably bigger than you expected.

You’ve abandoned your best friend and you knew about it but you did nothing.

“Uhm.” Jinyoung clears his throat, snapping you out of your trance. “I don’t think it’s like- like a big concern.”

“And you know I don’t like complaining either.” he stops, gulping nervously as he continues, “I just feel like we’re too far away.”

“I came home and we’re roommates but I can’t feel you here.”

“You’re so near yet so far.”

You know it will hurt. You know Jinyoung’s choice of words are already the softest he would have chosen, yet it stings. It reminds you of how ungrateful you are, leaving him for someone you have a crush on. He is telling you how he is sad, sad that he gets nothing like before. Your attention is now unavailable for him. It hurts him and now he’s projecting them in words.

Now it hurts you.

“I’m sorry if you feel like I’m demanding. But I just don’t know you anymore. I don’t know how you are, or what you ate for lunch. We’re drifting apart and it hurts me.” he continues as you stay silent, feeling the guilt eating you alive. “I know you have someone new…..yet is it so easy to leave me behind?”

Jinyoung is officially breaking apart. He feels like he’s childish, pouring his heart out but this is about him. This is him demanding you to be fair. He can’t stop you from liking Jaehyun, he can’t force you to love him back. He just wanted to remind you that he’s there. He’s there and please do something. 

“Jinyoung.” your voice cracks, slowly the tears fall on your cheek. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m so sorry I made you feel this way. I was too blinded by the newfound happiness and I forgot you. I forgot you who have constantly made me happy.”

“I’m so sorry.” you cried harder, reaching Jinyoung and hugging him. “I’m so sorry I made you feel this way.”

You feel his body shakes and you know he’s holding back from crying. You hated yourself for making Jinyoung cry. 

Jinyoung isn’t weak, no he isn’t. He’s been too strong that it breaks his limit. He wanted to let go. He wanted to let go for once and he’ll be fine. If nothing goes right after tonight, he’s done tolerating. 

A few quiet sobs and some awful jokes later, both of you are lying on Jinyoung’s bed, holding each other close. 

“Jinyoung.”

“Hm?”

“Can I sleep with you here tonight?” you ask Jinyoung, rubbing his arm. It’s been too long since you sleep in his bed and now you feel nostalgic. You’re overreacting but really, it feels too long. 

“I thought you’re going to talk to Jaehyun?” he teases, earning himself a slap on his chest. “Ow! What was that for?”

You laugh, settling yourself comfortably in his embrace. “Say Jinyoung.”

“Hm, what?”

“Do you approve Jaehyun?”

He looks down to you, questioning eyes boring into yours. You know it’s too soon, you know perhaps it’s not the best time to bring it up. But you just want to know his answer.

“For what?”

“To be my boyfriend.”

Jinyoung wakes up feeling empty, his eyes stare blankly at the ceiling. You’re still sleeping in his arm yet he has this unsettling feeling inside him. Recalling your last question before you sleep, he inhales a deep breath.

Will you be happy? Will his approval make you happy?

Jaehyun is a nice guy, Jinyoung knows that. Looks aside, he has full potential to be the best boyfriend for you. Jaehyun is caring and also when he loves, he’ll love you to the fullest. It’s not a problem to approve Jaehyun, he won’t hesitate if that’s the only case.

However it’s not.

Will Jinyoung be happy with his decision? It feels like the burden has increased tremendously, from jealousy to pain in just one night. It seems like the one month is just a trial for Jinyoung, now he needs to be prepared to lose you for good.

With his fingers raking your locks, he watches you sleep soundly. This is probably the last time he watches you sleeping in his embrace. This is probably the last time he’ll see you wake up in his arms.

Lord, can you help me stop the time?

“Nope.” 

“Jaebeom-”

“Nope. I won’t let you be as stupid as you are.”

Jinyoung lifts his eyebrows, offended by Jaebeom’s statement. He’s just offering a suggestion yet Jaebeom calls him dumb? “Hey! What do you mean as stupid as I am?”

“Jinyoung.” Jaebeom sighs exaggeratedly, holding Jinyoung’s shoulder in place. “When I told you tell her, I mean tell her your feelings your dumb ass. Not just telling her how you feel when she forgot about you!”

“I’m not a dumb ass.”

“Well you look like that to me now.” It’s another evening where you went over to Jaehyun place to finish the assignment and Jaebeom has no other way than to confront Jinyoung about how weird both of you have been.

Yes, both of you have been weird. Specifically, Jinyoung.

The morning you woke up in his embrace, you didn’t notice something was off. Probably because you forgot how it felt waking up with Jinyoung but definitely, Jinyoung was different. As if he had a switch in him, he started avoiding you, keeping your conversation minimal.

You thought it’s just you but one day Jackson asked you why you were both eating separately, one person at the other end of the table, then you realised that Jinyoung had avoided you. Yes, he made it subtle and you never noticed it until someone pointed it out.

Jinyoung still let you sleep with him and still woke you up like any other morning. He just doesn’t talk as much as he did before. And you brush it off, thinking it as another awkward change that you brought upon your friendship.

“You’re not a dumb ass?” Jaebeom asks. “Y/n has been at Jaehyun’s for hours and you’re still here, like a wife waiting for her cheater husband? Oh you’re just unable to think rationally.”

“Shut up. She’s not a cheater.”

Jaebeom had enough of these awkward encounters. It seems like none of you figured this thing out and he needs his lively frat back again. “Then I suggest you do something about y/n. It’s almost eleven and she’s not home yet.”

“Like what?” Jinyoung is now irritated. He doesn’t have any control over what you’re doing and even if he wants to, he can’t. “I’m not her boyfriend.”

“And Jaehyun is not her boyfriend either. So go get her.”

“What?”

“You heard me. As the house leader, I’m ordering you to get her ass from that NCT frat and bring her home.”

“She can come home by herself. Jaehyun will walk her home.”

“Park Jinyoung.” Jaebeom grits his teeth, pulling the said man towards the door and without hesitation, throws him out of the house. “Don’t let me put up ‘No Jaehyun is allowed’ in front of the door. Go fetch her home by 12. I mean it, Park.”

Then Jaebeom slams the door shut, locking it from inside. Though Jinyoung clearly has the key, he knows Jaebeom probably locked the door using the other lock instead. So he stood outside, leaning against the wall.

What is he going to do? Knock on NCT frat and ask for you? No shit he’s not going to look like a desperate man. 

But indeed, Jaebeom is right. Jaehyun is not your boyfriend either and he has a valid reason to be worried and to go get you at his house which is only five minutes away. Yeap, valid.

“I must have gone crazy.” Jinyoung mutters as he exits the compound and starts walking on the sidewalk in a painfully slow pace. “I must’ve looked crazy too.”

Five minutes turns fifteen, courtesy of Jinyoung walking around the neighbourhood and standing like a stool against the lamp post, contemplating whether he’s going to knock on the door or not.

“Well.” he sighs, walking up the NCT house and stands nervously in front of their door. “Aite, fuck this.” he knocks, slow at first but gradually the third knock is loud, followed by fourth and fifth. He did it on purpose, he knows how boys can be. Yugyeom and Bambam can be so focused while watching Netflix that they can’t even hear any other noises.

Jinyoung fiddles with his hoodie sleeves, his heart beating nervously as he waits for someone to get the door.

“Who is- oh, Jinyoung!” Thank god, Taeyong shows up, not Lucas or Jaemin or else Jinyoung would have a hard time being less suspicious. “Why are you here?”

Now that’s another hard question? Does he simply say ‘well my roommate is here and it’s already 11.20 and why the fuck is she still here’? Or does he say ‘i’m jealous so i’m picking up my girl’? Nope. Nope.

“Uh. Is y/n here?” He hopes he doesn’t sound like a desperate man asking for his crush’s whereabouts because he feels like he’s one. “It’s- it’s 11.20 and uh Jaebeom is kinda mad? She’s not yet back.”

Taeyong takes like- 30 seconds to let the information sink in, before frantically shouting for Jaehyun. “Jaehyun! Tell y/n that Jinyoung is here to bring her home!”

An awkward silence follows him, well of course it’s awkward. All pairs of eyes are watching him from all directions, curious of why he’s here to bring her home? You have been patronising this house for like, two months now and suddenly he’s here to remind her of her curfew?

He hears you come down the stairs, shock paints your face as you see him at the door. Firstly, well since Jinyoung avoided you, you don’t know why he suddenly came to take you home. Secondly, since when do you need someone to take you home?

“Jinyoung.” you reach the door, Jaehyun trailing behind you equally as confused. “Why are you here?”

The amount of ‘why are you here’ irks him that by the time you ask him the same question, he feels like his blood is boiling. Why is it so hard to believe that he’s here to take you home? Don’t you realise what time is it already? Why are you still at Jaehyun’s? These voices inside his head are shouting at the same time and he just- can’t stop himself anymore.

“Why? I can’t come here now?” his question, as soft as he wanted to sound, didn’t come out well. It sounds plainly rude, like he’s picking a fight with you. “Do you know what time it is?”

“Not that. I’m just confused.”

“Jaebeom told me to come and get you.”

“But I can go home by myself.” you point at Jaehyun behind you, who stays silent between your conversation. “Jaehyun can walk me home.”

At this point, Jinyoung feels anger bubbling up inside him and if everyone squints really really hard, one can see that his jugular vein almost pops. All this ‘Jaehyun this and Jaehyun that’ is starting to get to him and honestly? He’s tired of listening to it.

“Can we just go home?” as much as he wants to scream at everyone, he doesn’t want to make a mess at someone’s frat. He knows how Jaebeom works hard to maintain a good relationship with other frats and how hard it is to clean after messes. “I don’t think we should be having this conversation here.”

You silently agree, bidding the boys goodbye and step out of the house. Jaehyun’s eyes follow you worriedly, as if he knows that you’d probably end up fighting with Jinyoung.

In your eyes, Jinyoung is irritated by the fact that you asked too many questions but in Jaehyun’s eyes, he recognises those emotions as anger and jealousy. He’s been asking you about your true relationship with Jinyoung, knowing that it’s impossible for one to be that close without any feeling involved. Tonight, he found out why. 

Jinyoung is in love with you.

“Taeyong.” he whispers while watching both of you getting further away from his house. “Fuck, Taeyong.”

“What?”

“I messed up.”

“What??” how come Jaehyun didn’t realise it from the start? Of course, when he first got close to you, he thought that you and Jinyoung are just best friends and given he never really gets to talk to Jinyoung, well he just didn’t think of that.

“Taeyong.” his frantic eyes find Taeyong, who is as clueless as ever. “Jinyoung loves y/n.”

The leader’s vision switches to the couple on the street, looking at them with wide eyes. “Oh fuck.”

“I don’t understand him!” you throw your hands, ruffling your hair. It’s been four days and Jinyoung avoided you like a plague, refusing to talk to you even if you cornered him every time you got him. “He’s like, really confusing.”

Jaehyun bites the apple, listening to your story intently. You have told him through texts but here you are again, ranting about how Jinyoung is the most useless communicator and it’s impossible to take the words out of him if he decided to give you cold treatment.

“So you said he’s been weird after you asked him if he approves me to be your boyfriend?” he asks again, making sure he had his point right. Just like four days ago, Jaehyun has concluded that Jinyoung indeed, has been in love with you for so long but you’re just dense to realise it. It’s been proven true, you have the audacity to ask Jinyoung about it and not feel guilty at all.

“Yeah.” you sit on the foot of Jaehyun’s bed, settling yourself comfortably. You hang out more at Jaehyun since Jinyoung looks like he’s about to become mute whenever he sees you in the house. You figured you could give him some space. “I’m so confused right now.”

Jaehyun nudges you with his foot, making you look right up to him. Jaehyun has been too comfortable with you, becoming close just after two months. He’s at that stage where he just calls you with his feet now. 

“You wanna know what I think?”

“What?”

“I think that Jinyoung is in love with you.”

“What the-” Shock is not enough to portray your feelings right now. It’s a mixture of shock, disbelief and suspicions. You don’t know if Jaehyun is playing around because right at this moment, his face shows no hint of joking. “Jaehyun! It’s not funny!”

Jaehyun rolls his eyes, annoyed with your ignorance. You’re the most clueless person he ever knows, and he knows Mark Lee! “Girl, listen to me.”

“What did Jinyoung say when you said I texted you?”

“He said, ‘so?’”

“And what did he say when you said you like me?”

“Is this another session to feed your ego?” you don’t trust Jaehyun, he has a lot up in his sleeves and you just knew him for two months. “I fed your ego too much, don’t you think so?”

“Shut up and answer me. What did he say?”

You roll your eyes. “He said nothing. Why are we doing this?”

“What did he reply when you ask about me being your boyfriend?”

“He didn’t reply. God, I don’t know where you are going with this conversation.”

Jaehyun takes another bite of his apple, munching while talking at the same time. “You see, he didn’t reply when you told him you like me. That’s fine, maybe he didn’t care. But when you ask him about me being your boyfriend, why didn’t he answer right away?”

“Well-”

“Because he doesn’t want to! Come on, Jinyoung can’t possibly tell you no right? You’d be too nosy and asked why.”

“Hey!”

“So what I think is, he likes you.” Jaehyun concludes, snapping his fingers in triumph. “Now the real question is, do you like him back?”

You shut up, eyes running away from Jaehyun’s. You don’t know, well you have no idea. You never thought about liking Jinyoung because you don’t want to risk your friendship. It might have crossed your mind a few times but you ignored the curiosity, you figured it’s the best to stay being friends.

Not that you don’t want to invest your feelings in Jinyoung, you’re just too afraid that it will backfire you. You don’t like rejection and you certainly don’t want to become awkward afterward.

“I don’t know.” you answer truthfully because really, you don’t know.

“Then find it out.”

You close the door to your room, putting down your bag on the floor and sit down on your bed. Jinyoung is at his study table, unmoved.

“How long are you going to give me cold shoulders, Jinyoung?” you ask, your feet kicking the air. You know he’s listening, even if he has his earphones in. That’s just Jinyoung style, to wear earphones so that no one bothers him, especially Jackson. Whenever Jackson comes over, he’d retreat when he sees Jinyoung stuffing them in his ears. “I know you can hear me, Jinyoung.”

“Let’s not fight anymore.” you look down, suddenly you feel sad. You feel like you’re losing Jinyoung. Is this what Jinyoung feels before? So near yet so far?

“It’s been hard without you, Jinyoung.” 

“The mornings are extremely cold without your laugh and the lunch is plain without you cracking up lame jokes. Dinner is boring because you avoided me and night…the nights are even colder without your hugs.”

“I know you’d say, ‘so what? You have Jaehyun so go and ask him to eat with you, crack up lame jokes and give you hugs.’ but I don’t want Jaehyun. I want you.”

Jinyoung has stopped writing, listening to you intently. You noticed this, which is why you continue, “Jaehyun told me that he thinks you like me.”

You didn’t realise it but Jinyoung stiffens at the mention of his crush on you, catching him off guard. He knows that someone will eventually tell you about this but he definitely didn’t think of Jaehyun of all people.

“I don’t know if it’s true. Jaehyun isn’t exactly the best fortune teller so I definitely can’t gamble with his words.”

“I just want you to know that you’re extremely important in my life. I never thought of putting you second just because I found someone new. In fact, I decided that I’ll stay as friends with Jaehyun, I don’t find him that attractive anymore.”

You stand up and walk over to his side, sitting on his bed just beside him, forcing him to face you. “So if that’s the case, can you please stop being jealous now? I don’t have anything to do with Jaehyun. We are not dating and can I please have my Jinyoung back?”

Jinyoung is frowning, his eyes scan you from the top to the bottom. “You don’t find him attractive anymore? Really?”

“Well-” you grin, crinkling your nose up playfully. “He’s still handsome. I can’t deny that.”

You feel more at ease, now that you’ve told Jinyoung what you’ve been wanting to tell him. It feels lighter, your brain and your heart. You hated the days where Jinyoung ignored you and you’re left imagining what you would do without him in your life. The thought alone scares you, the fact that you’ve been so comfortable with Jinyoung beside you and you never thought he’ll leave you for someone else someday.

“So you still like him.” Jinyoung confirms and turns around to his note again, picking up his pen. 

You scream, pulling him away from his work and tugs him nearer, trying to have all his attention on you. Jinyoung struggles to escape from your grips but fails miserably, laughing along the way. You join him, laughing together as you bring him nearer.

“Let me go, oh god. Since when you’re so strong?” he wrestles his way out of your grip again, hoisting you up and throws you on the bed easily. “Did you practise lifting Jaehyun’s dumbbells?”

“Yeah, I went there to exercise.” you reply deadpanned and laugh when Jinyoung tickles you as a revenge.

“Hey.” you call out, trying to get his attention again. Jinyoung’s arms have you caged, he’s on top of you while you lie comfortably on his bed. “Is it true?”

“What is?” Jinyoung’s eyes rake you face up and down, like how his thoughts are running wild inside his brain. He doesn’t know what to do, does he confess now? Does he confirm that it’s true? Does it mean you’ll be his? Can he do that? Can he kiss you?

“Is it true that you like me?” just as Jinyoung, you’re nervous. You’re conflicted. What if he doesn’t actually like you? What is Jaehyun really bad at guessing? You’re not surprised, nothing surprises you about Jaehyun anymore.

“What if it’s true?” 

“I’d be so happy.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve been thinking for a while and I don’t think i can ever end up with someone else other than you.”

“Oh yeah?” Jinyoung’s heart stops at your confession, then beats harder as he feels his adrenaline pumping his blood faster. “Can I kiss you now?”

You shake your head, watching Jinyoung’s eyes grow and a cute frown appears on his face. You wanted to laugh but you held back, looking straight into his eyes.

“Why not?”

“You haven’t said you like me.”

“Oh my god.” he curses, turning away from you when he feels his face grows hotter. “Fuck- fine. I like you. Are you satisfied?”

You laugh, nodding furiously. Jinyoung doesn’t waste any more seconds, diving right then to press his plump lips to yours, taking the perfect shape of your lips in his. 

Finally. His mind says, Fucking finally.

“God. finally.” he mutters to himself, somewhat trying to convince himself that indeed, he’s kissing you. “Oh god.”

“Do you know how long I have been dying to kiss you?” he reaches down to press another kiss on your temple, another on your cheeks, nose and your chin, then pressing the last one on your lips once again.

You chuckle under him, pressing your palms on his chest to hold him. “How long?”

“Too long, I’ve forgotten already.” his reply earns another laugh from you. 

Jinyoung moves to lie beside you, watching you play with the string of his hoodie. It’s funny how time works. About fifteen minutes ago you’re sitting on your bed, trying to fix things up and now you’re lying beside him after he kissed you breathless.

“I thought you’re dating Jaehyun.” he did. He really thought that after what happened, you’d hate him. “I hated myself for screaming at you.”

A strand of his hair falls on his forehead and you reach to swipe it away, pushing his locks behind. “Yeah, you’re quite rude.”

“Very rude.”

“I thought our friendship is ending.” you confess, eyes on his chest instead of his face. “I thought it’s the end of us. That you got fed up with me.”

“Then it turns out that you’re just a jealous boy.”

Jinyoung pushes your chin up, making you face him. “Just a jealous boy? You didn’t know how jealous I am when everything is about Jaehyun! Have you ever heard I talk about other girls? No right? See who’s rude now?”

Another laugh escapes you and you caress his face, calming him down. “I didn’t know, okay. I thought you were fine with it.”

“Yeah right.”

“But we’re here now, right? You don’t have to be jealous anymore.”

“Really?” Jinyoung’s finger finds your lock, playing with the strand. “Do you like me too?”

You really want to make him suffer a bit. Just a bit since he’s being a pain in the ass for ignoring you for one week straight. 

“Hmm, I need to think about that again.” you grin, sending Jinyoung into a series of screams.

“What the- out!” he pushes you off his bed with you hanging onto him while your laugh fills the room. “Get out of my bed!”

“Oh my god. I can’t believe you! Did you just play me?”

“Is my feeling that easy?”

“Get out of my bed!”

“Jinyoung!”

“Out!”

You don’t know about your feelings, just yet. But there’s one thing for sure. You love Jinyoung’s kisses. You can deal with that. But his petty ass? That calls for a serious mental discussion.

Copyright © 2020 jjpmoans. All rights reserved

[ Writings ]