There is a degree to which we are responsible for our emotions. And certainly, we are responsible for our reactions and behavior.
In situations that we have control, situations where a friend is hurting us, like yes, maybe they shouldn't be hurting you. But there are also actions you have to take on your part.
Think of it like an ocean wave. If you go to the beach and a wave surprises you and gets you wet, and you're upset by this, that is perfectly reasonable.
If you keep standing there, letting yourself get wet and get more upset, when you can move away, then that's on you. I mean, it's your choice to do so. If you don't like getting wet and you just stand there getting wet when you can take a few steps back, you can do so. But it's also unnecessary stress, and you give up your own agency. Saying "I can't control this" when there are very much parts you can control denies your own responsibility in this situation. You can't control the waves from crashing, but you can step away from them.
If you know that a friend is going to keep disappointing you, there are two different actions we can take here: a proactive, and a reactive action.
A reactive action looks like knowing they're going to disappoint you or upset you, they do so, and you react to this. Nothing changes, and it keeps happening, and you continue to be upset. Your anxieties remain unaddressed and continue to hurt you.
A proactive action looks like knowing they're going to disappoint you or upset you and taking the steps to mitigate stress in anticipation of this. And THAT can look like setting down a boundary, removing yourself from the situation (no longer participating in the thing that your friend disappoints you about or no longer asking them to do X when they won't), or accepting that they will disappoint you--meaning you are at peace with the idea of them disappointing you, not "I am going to continue letting them disappoint me but it's going to upset me every time."
It means addressing the source of your stress and what upsets you before it actually does. And like. That's hard! It fucking sucks!
Especially for those of us who've grown up in situations where we didn't have any choice but to be reactive, because oh I don't know, we were children and didn't have any other options. And now we've grown up into adults who feel like there's no other option but to sit there and take it. Like there's no other choice but to be stressed and upset.
Part of healing from this kind of abuse, managing our stress in proactive, responsible ways means we no longer settle anymore, for being hurt. "Just taking it" when people hurt us and won't change. And as adults, that is kind of our responsibility and no one else can really do that for you. That's kind of part of being emotionally mature, is understanding yourself, and being responsible with your own emotions.
We sometimes can't change what other people will do. But we can change what we do, in response. And we can take care of our stressors before they stress us out.
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LGBTQ+ organizations and allies are celebrating Michigan for becoming the first state in three years to pass comprehensive anti-discrimination protections for sexual orientation and gender identity. The legislation, which now heads to Gov. Gretchen Whitmer (D) to be signed into law, finally passed after decades of court battles and hold-ups from Republican legislators.
The bill passed in a 64-45 vote in the Democrat-led House on Wednesday. It amends the state’s 1976 Elliott-Larsen Civil Rights Act (ELCRA) to include LGBTQ+ people among its protected groups. The law forbids discrimination in housing, employment, and public accommodation within businesses, government buildings, and educational facilities on the basis of religion, race, color, national origin, age, sex, height, weight, familial status, marital status — and now, LGBTQ+ identity.
Democrats had tried introducing various LGBTQ+ non-discrimination measures over the last 40 years, according to the bill’s gay sponsor Sen. Jeremy Moss (D). However, the attempts were repeatedly voted down by Republican-led legislatures. Last January, Democrats took control of the full legislature for the first time in nearly 40 years, finally giving them the chance to pass the protections.
In July 2022, Michigan’s Supreme Court issued a landmark 5–2 ruling that ELCRA already forbade discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity as forms of discrimination based on sex and gender. This followed a 2020 Michigan Court of Claims ruling that said ELCRA didn’t ban anti-gay discrimination as well as a 2018 vote by Michigan’s Civil Rights Commission interpreting ELCRA as protecting LGBTQ+ people from religious-based discrimination...
When the House voted to pass the historic bill on Wednesday, a crowd in the House gallery broke into applause, Bridge Michigan reported. Republican House members had tried adding amendments that would’ve carved out exceptions for religious people to continue discriminating against LGBTQ+ people. None of these amendments passed into the final bill.
Gov. [Whitmer] has signaled that she will soon sign the bill into law. In a Wednesday tweet, she noted the observation of International Women’s Day and wrote, “I’m celebrating trans women who have continuously led the way, despite constant threats to their lives and liberty. I’m proud that we’re finally in a position to expand the Elliott-Larsen Civil Rights Act to protect LGBTQ+ Michiganders. Let’s get it done!”
-via LGBTQ Nation, 3/9/23
Note: If it's not clear from the language, this is basically a done deal--the bill signing IS ABSOLUTELY GOING TO HAPPEN.
As scary as things are right now, there are so many of us fighting to protect ourselves, our communities, and the queer and trans people around us.
This comes only a day after Minnesota's governor signed a landmark executive order that guarantees the right to gender-affirming care and prevents the state from complying with any other states' attempts to interfere. via them.us, 3/9/23
There is hope, and there are so many people fighting for us.
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NEED…MORE…EX-HUSBAND!EDDIE…I AM FERAL AND FOAMING AT THE MOUTH PLEASE BLESS US MORE I’M BEGGING
IT’S ANGST O’CLOCK!!!
𝐢 𝐰𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 (𝐬𝐨 𝐢 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠)
ex husband! eddie x fem!reader
“all that still matters is ‘love ever after’ — after the life we’ve been through” — life after you // daughtry
WC: ~950 words
3AM. The witching hour.
The air smells of twilight musk and marinating dew. It's pitch black all around you, the nearest gas station being an agonizing 1.3 miles away. You're also 10 miles from Hawkins, pulled over in nothing but platform heels, a black mini dress, and expired pepper spray in your purse. To make matters worse, the only friends up who seem to be up at this hour are hungry bears and obnoxious, chirping crickets. And skinwalkers if you're where you think you are.
A horrible ending to a girls night out. Just what you needed.
Alone and afraid, you decide to call the number one person on speed dial, whose gradual distaste towards you renders itself very evident from the moment he answers the phone.
"What?! I'm trying to sleep."
"Eds." you whimper into the phone. "I need you."
There's a long pause in response to your petrified sobs, followed by the clicking noise of a phone keyboard before you hear cursing and the frantic ruffling of sheets.
"I’ll be there."
"Well?"
You watch as Eddie crinkles his forehead in concentration, examining your car while his soot-tainted hands explore every crevice of your hood. Routine maintenance has never been as issue because you've always had a personal mechanic at your feet. But since the divorce, you've gotten pretty bad about it. Otherwise, the you and Eddie wouldn't be stuck in this situation. Obviously.
"Weeelp." Eddie sighs, stretching out every bit of the syllable. He slams the hood shut. "She's just about blown out. You're lucky that thing didn't overheat too much with you in it."
You've prided yourself in not needing a man to change your tires, wiper fluid, OR oil nowadays. But in the midst of your journey towards self love and independence, you somehow forgot that your car could also overheat.
"Oh..”
You try not to watch intently as Eddie cleans his hands off with his hanky, the one he keeps neatly tucked into the back pocket of his flattering dark, denim jeans. Your eyes then trail towards his leather jacket, which housed his broad shoulders and delicious waist so nicely, you would've thought it had been tailored just for him. And you could just about fall right into him when he angles his torso towards you, his sculpted jawline glistening in the moonlight — but nearly not as glistening as those gorgeous chocolate eyes, the ones he used to his advantage during your marriage to get you to forgive him for whatever mistake he seemed to make that week. Before you could fawn any further, Eddie snaps you back to reality.
"When was the last time you put some coolant in this thing?"
"Some what?"
"You keep Prestone at the house?" Eddie pesters. "Antifreeze? Peak?"
Cheeks reddening, you shake your head. "No.”
"You get this thing examined often?"
“Not unless you do it," is what you shamefully admit. “For the most part…”
Eddie's face scrunches out of frustration. He knew this would happen.
"God, I hate when you do shit like this," he snaps. "For all I know your engine light could've been on for weeks."
"But it wasn't." you mutter softly. You're already scared. This is the last thing you need.
"You know your car in particular needs to be serviced every half year?" Eddie mutters. "Oil changes, tire rotations. Your break pads have also seen better days. Which is concerning."
"Ok.”
"And how many times do I have to say you gotta pay attention to this fucking radiator?!" Eddie hisses, slapping at the hood again with his open palm. You shudder at the loud *THUNK* noise that echoes across the woods. "We wouldn't be out here in 3AM if you had just taken proactive measures.”
"Stop YELLING at me!" you whine, a piece of your inner child spewing outwards to combat Eddie's belligerent word vomit.
"I'm not yelling." Eddie firmly insists.
He turns his back to you and starts towards your car again.
"Yes, you are, you always do." you croak miserably, balling your fists up in frustration. “You always do Eddie, and I'm sick of it! You always want to be right, and you always kick me when I'm already down to-"
“Okay, okay, okay." Eddie hushes you. He runs a frantic hand through his hair. "Agh, fuck, okay — I’m sorry.”
He looks at you with guilty, glimmering eyes as you shift your body away from him. Guarded, tense. Closing up all access of you towards him because he lost those rights a long time ago. Muttering to himself now, Eddie scrapes at the pebbles beneath his feet, fiddling with the chain of his wallet before he dares to speak to you again.
"I just worry about you a lot."
You peer back over at him. "Deadass?"
He snorts. "Well yeah."
With your permission Eddie stalks closer to you.
"I don't want to wake up to a phone call talking about my wife's car bursting into flames — with her inside." He rolls his eyes. “All because she hasn't been maintaining her shit.”
"I have been," you fib just a bit, though most of it rings true. just forgot to iron out some little details."
Eddie relaxes his shoulders.
"I know," he surrenders. “I guess there's a part of me that secretly hopes you'll still need me somehow. Some way, or another."
"I'll always need your presence," you reassure him.
Your ex husband softens up. He always thought that during your separation you had found another Superman to save the day. Some other handsome devil to fix your car and maintain all the leaky faucets inside your once shared home. But as you've always insisted, nobody has your back like Eddie. Your very own George Reeves. At your disposal for you and you only.
He suddenly wraps his arms around you, and as you predicted you ease right into him, the comfort and familiarity of Eddie melting away any ounce of hostility you guys have ever harbored against each other. You both have your days, but the love you two have for each other has always remained the same. Just changed form, is all.
"I'm glad you're okay," is all he says.
'I'm glad you're here," you sniff. "Always playing hero, per usual..."
"Well for you, always."
He plants a gentle kiss on top of your forehead as you two sway around in unison. You hum to showcase your endearment.
And he'd do it again.
———
🏷️ tagging peeps who seemed interested in this lil universe 🫶🏼✨ thank you guys for reading :)
@highinmiamiii @potatobeans99 @mediocredreams @joshlmbrt @eddiesxangel @enam3l @mmunson86 @davidblowies-blog @thatissonnina @oskea93 @aurora-austen @lesservillain @madeofmunson @xxbimbobunnyxx @eddiesghxst @munsonssweets @nailbatanddungeon @swiss-mrs @winchester-angel @belokhvostikova @curlyjoequinn @strangereads @marrowfrog00 @shadyunknowncreation @tuolcaniacoc @catherinnn @prestinalove @pleuviors @cinemabean @calumfmu @littlexdeaths
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Joint statement by Wikimedia organizations and individuals regarding the ongoing situation in Palestine, 7 April 2024
We, the undersigned Wikimedia groups and individuals, express deep concern over the ongoing Israel-created humanitarian crisis facing the Palestinian population, particularly the widespread loss of life, infrastructure devastation, and severe food shortages in the Gaza Strip. We express profound concern for the safety and well-being of Wikimedia and allied movement activists within the besieged Palestinian territory. Ensuring the safety and well-being of individuals behind the realm of free knowledge is paramount; knowledge cannot truly be free if it comes at the expense of human safety and security.
In the words of the late Reverend Desmond Tutu, "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor." In alignment with our commitment to uphold human dignity and justice, we firmly advocate for peace and equitable resolution.
In a demonstration of solidarity, some of the undersigned groups have adopted the colors of the Palestinian flag within the respective logos, following the initiative of the Arabic Wikipedia community to symbolize support following the December 2023 day of action.
We urge all Wikimedia groups, affiliates, allies, and volunteers to unite in solidarity with humanity and demand an immediate and lasting ceasefire to halt the tragic loss of life and destruction of Palestinian cultural heritage. Furthermore, we call upon the Wikimedia Foundation to take proactive measures to ensure the safety of volunteers, communities, partners and knowledge and memory institutions from Palestine contributing to the dissemination of knowledge.
We urgently request the Wikimedia Foundation to prioritize the unbiased dissemination of information and the accurate and timely documentation of the ongoing human-made humanitarian disaster and the erasure of cultural heritage. Additionally, we take this opportunity to underscore the importance of global support for enhancing Palestinian content across all Wikipedia projects.
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