#Press Play 😼😼

[loganlermanstanaccount]

I completely forgot to say, but for my 6K followers event; I'm writing a part 2 to my Jealousy HCs!

it's looking like: mutual pining, hurt/comfort, teeny tiny bit of the enemies to lovers dynamic, and smut :p

6K Followers Event - PRESS PLAY

Thank you all for 6k subs! It means the world to me that people enjoy my fics enough to give such consistent support - I really, really couldn't have done it without y'all ❤️❤️

To celebrate 6k, I will be taking requests (for fics/ drabbles based on songs! cuz it's fun lmfao) and writing a part 2 to at least one of my oneshots. This event will be in two parts: Requests and Voting!

(Main Masterlist) (Event Masterlist)

Requests

- Send me a request based on a song!

Tape 1, Side A: love, love, love,

(listen here)

my favourite straight-up love songs

tracklist

track 01: My Kind of Woman // Mac DeMarco

track 02: Daze // Steve Lacy

track 03: We Might Even Be Falling in Love // Victoria Monet

track 04: Romanticist // Yves Tumor

track 05: Amor Prohibido // Selena

track 06: Crush On You // Lil' Kim

track 07: Baby, This Love I Have // Minnie Riperton

track 08: Seaforth // King Krule

track 09: Fraulein // Chuck Berry

track 10: Pilot Jones // Frank Ocean

track 11: La Ciruela // Nico Play

Tape 1, Side B: ...and other stories.

(listen here)

angsty, heart-wrenching; songs that tell a different story about love.

tracklist

track 01: Lover, You Should've Come Over // Jeff Buckley

track 02: Baby Blue // King Krule

track 03: King // Dreamer Isioma

track 04: Shot My Baby // Daniel Caesar

track 05: Mojo Pin // Jeff Buckley

track 06: Jonny // Faye Webster

track 07: Seigfried // Frank Ocean

track 08: Carry Me Out // Mitski

track 09: No Me Queda Mas // Selena

track 10: Show You A Body // Haley Henderickx

Rules for Requests:

- You must: send in a song, from the tracklist or otherwise. I'm happy to take song requests and add to the tracklist - all I ask is that it fits the "vibe" of either Side A or Side B.

- You must: Specify which tape side, A or B. To clarify: Side A: fluff, mild angst with a happy ending, all about love! Side B: heavy angst, hurt / comfort, happy ending or otherwise.

I tried to pick songs with potential for different stories - so give my playlists a listen to understand the "vibes" and also cuz I spent so so long creating them, I'm begging y'all 😭

- You must: Provide an x reader pairing! I mainly write for Miguel O'Hara, Joel Miller and Finnick Odair, but I'm more than happy to write other pairings - check tags for the fandoms I'll write.

- Other than that, be as specific or vague as you'd like. Give me a specific line from the song, a trope / prompt, etc etc. or don't! go crazy lmfao.

- NSFW is allowed for either category, please specify, but as always: 18+ for those kind of requests.

- Most of these will be drabbles, around 500 words or so; but I tend to get carried away with prompts so no promises 🤞

- I will write as many that catch my eye, with a few of my own ideas as well :)

(i am still taking other requests, but prioritising the ones for this follower event for the time being)

Voting

Please vote for a oneshot of mine that you'd like to see a part 2 of! This does not mean I won't write a second part for the other fics at all, it just tells me what to prioritise.

(Main Masterlist) (Event Masterlist)

I already have some stuff planned, but please give me some time to write all of this up – unfortunately, I am a slow writer with a whole ass job. This will be an ongoing event, just a little project I will chip away at.

Reblogs are appreciated, thanks everyone!

_

-

-

[natsaffection]

THIS IDEA MIGHT BE HELLAA ASS but we’re stull pushing through👏👏

So basically the team could be heading back from a mission and stuff. And reader could just be like incredibly exhausted, laying across a few of the many seats of the jet. Reader was minding her business, on the verge of sleeping. But soon felt a weight on her stomach, specifically where a large dark bruise resided as her breath was knocked from her . Soon enough, reader realizes it’s Natasha on top of her, making reader squirm and argue because there was way more open seats surrounding them and Natasha had to sit on her. But unbeknownst to reader, that was Natasha’s way of trying to court / flirt with her.

Ends w/ smut? G!p Natasha is the way to go😼

-💋

Footage. | N.R

Warnings: 18+! MINORS DNI!, G!P Natasha, Teasing, oral (r receiving), fingering (r receiving), unprotected Sex, filming, multiple orgasm

Word count: 4,1k

A/n: *sending this my gf. What?

The mission had been grueling. The team was physically and mentally exhausted as they made their way back to the quinjet. The adrenaline that had fueled them during the intense combat was now rapidly draining, leaving behind only fatigue. You trudged up the ramp of the quinjet, your limbs heavy and your mind foggy with exhaustion. You found an empty row of seats toward the back and collapsed onto them, stretching out across the length of the seats. The cool material of the seat against your cheek was a welcome comfort as you closed your eyes, your body finally starting to relax.

The gentle hum of the quinjet's engines as they powered up for takeoff was like a lullaby, lulling you toward the edges of sleep. Your muscles unwound, and you allowed yourself to sink deeper into the comfort of the seats, the noises of the team settling in around you fading into the background. But just as you were on the verge of slipping into unconsciousness, you felt a sudden pressure on your midsection. The breath was forced from your lungs as something, or rather someone, planted themselves firmly on top of you. Your eyes snapped open, and you let out a small, startled gasp, struggling to inhale as you squirmed beneath the unexpected weight.

Looking up, you found yourself staring into the mischievous green eyes of Natasha. She had straddled your hips, her full weight pressing down, an amused smirk playing on her lips as she watched your reaction. “N-Natasha!” you managed to wheeze out, still trying to catch your breath. You squirmed beneath the spy, trying to shift her into a more comfortable position, but Natasha only leaned in further, making it even harder for you to move.

“What are you doing!?” you asked, your voice breathless, half from the pressure on your lungs and half from the proximity of Natasha’s face to your own. Natasha chuckled softly, her breath warm against your skin. “You looked too comfortable.” she teased, her smirk widening as she shifted her position slightly, causing you to squirm even more. “Can’t have you getting too relaxed, can we?”

You glared up at her, though the effect was somewhat diminished by the flush creeping up your cheeks. “You’re crushing me!” you protested, but there was no real heat in your words. If anything, there was a certain warmth in your tone, a softness that you rarely showed. Natasha’s gaze softened slightly as she looked down at you, though the playful glint in her eyes remained. “Maybe I just wanted a more comfortable seat..” she replied, her tone light but with a hint of something deeper beneath it. You rolled your eyes, though you couldn’t help the small smile tugging at your lips. “And you thought I’d make a good cushion??”

“Best seat in the house.” Natasha quipped. You tried to shift again, a little more forcefully this time, but Natasha didn’t budge. You gave her an exasperated look, your brow furrowing slightly as you pointedly glanced around the quinjet. “There are plenty of other seats, Natasha. You really don’t have to sit on me!”

Natasha tilted her head slightly, her smirk deepening as she looked around the empty seats, then back at you. “I know.” she replied casually, clearly aware of the open space around them. She adjusted her position slightly, pressing her weight down a bit more, which made you squirm beneath her again. “But none of them looked as inviting as this one.” You groaned, trying to push Natasha off with more determination this time. “I’m not a chair, Romanoff..”

Natasha chuckled softly, her voice taking on a teasing lilt. “Could’ve fooled me. You're warm, soft, and..” She leaned in closer, her voice dropping to a whisper that sent a shiver down your spine. “Very comfortable.” You were about to retort when you suddenly froze, feeling something pressing against your thigh. It wasn’t the first time you’d felt Natasha’s anatomy during your close moments, but this time, it was.. different. Your eyes widened slightly as you realized what it meant. Natasha was hard. The pressure against your thigh was firmer than usual, unmistakable, and the realization sent a jolt of surprise and something else through you.

You gasped softly, your breath hitching in your throat as you looked up at Natasha, searching her face for any sign that she was aware of what you had just noticed. But Natasha’s expression was still playful, her smirk firmly in place, though there was an added intensity in her eyes that hadn’t been there before.

“N-Natasha..” you whispered, your voice tinged with surprise and uncertainty. “You’re..you’re-” Natasha’s smirk widened, her eyes darkening with a mixture of amusement and desire. “Yes?” she prompted, clearly enjoying the effect she was having on you. You swallowed hard, your mind racing as you tried to process what was happening. “You..like this?”

Natasha’s gaze softened slightly, though her playful demeanor remained. “Maybe you’re just more comfortable than you think.” she teased, her voice low and smooth as she leaned in closer, her breath warm against your ear. Your heart pounded in your chest, your body caught between the overwhelming sensation of Natasha’s presence and the confusion swirling in your thoughts. “I didn’t think..I mean, I didn’t realize..” you stammered, your face flushing with embarrassment and a hint of something more.

Natasha chuckled softly, the sound vibrating through your chest. “Didn’t realize what?” she asked, her voice a low purr. “That being close to you does things to me?” You felt a shiver run down your spine at Natasha’s words, the implications of her tone sending your mind spinning. “I just..I didn’t know you felt that way.” you admitted, your voice trembling slightly as you looked up at Natasha, trying to gauge her intentions. Natasha’s smirk softened into a more genuine smile, though there was still a playful glint in her eyes. “I think you’ve been too busy trying to keep your distance to notice.”

“I wasn’t… I wasn’t trying to keep my distance!” you said. “Weren’t you?” Natasha asked, her voice soft but probing. “You’ve always seemed a little..hesitant. Like you’re afraid to get too close.” You opened your mouth to respond, but the words caught in your throat. You hadn’t realized it yourself, but Natasha was right..you had been holding back, keeping a certain distance between you even though you didn’t fully understand why. Natasha’s expression softened even more as she saw the uncertainty in your eyes. “You don’t have to be afraid.” she said gently, her voice filled with sincerity. “I’m not going to push you into anything you’re not ready for.”

You swallowed hard, your thoughts swirling as you tried to make sense of your emotions. Despite the initial shock, there was a part of you that was undeniably intrigued, even..excited by this new revelation. “I’m not..afraid.” you finally admitted, “Just..surprised.”

Natasha smiled, a genuine, warm smile that reached her eyes. “Good.” she said softly, her thumb gently brushing against your cheek. “Because I don’t want you to be scared. I want you to feel safe..and wanted.” Your heart swelled at Natasha’s words, the sincerity in her voice cutting through the confusion and fear. You could see now that Natasha wasn’t just teasing you, there was real emotion behind her actions, a desire that had been simmering beneath the surface for some time. You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself as you looked up at Natasha. “I do feel safe with you.” you admitted softly, your voice barely above a whisper. “And..maybe more than that.”

Natasha’s eyes softened, her smile widening slightly as she leaned in closer, her breath warm against your lips. “Good.” she murmured, her voice filled with a mix of affection and desire. “Because I’ve been waiting for you to realize that.”

As the flight continued, Natasha stayed exactly where she was, never giving you a chance to fully relax. Her fingers would occasionally brush along your arm, or her hips would shift just enough to make you painfully aware of Natasha’s arousal pressing against you. Each teasing touch sent jolts through you, making you bite your lip to stifle any sound that might escape. “Natasha..” you groaned, your body tense as you tried to subtly push Natasha off without drawing the attention of the rest of the team. “You’re doing this on purpose..”

Natasha leaned down, her lips almost brushing your ear as she whispered back, “Maybe. Does it bother you?” You swallowed hard, your mind and body at war. “You’re going to make me lose my mind!” you muttered, a mixture of frustration and something dangerously close to desire coloring your tone. Natasha chuckled softly, her breath warm against your skin. “That’s the idea.”

The rest of the flight was an agonizing mix of teasing touches and unspoken tension. Your heart pounded in your chest, your mind spinning with the knowledge of what Natasha was doing and what it meant. You tried to maintain your composure, but every time Natasha’s hand brushed against your skin or she shifted her hips, it became harder and harder to keep your cool. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the quinjet touched down at the Avengers compound. The team began to unbuckle and prepare to disembark, the exhaustion from the mission weighing on everyone except, it seemed, Natasha..

As the others filed out of the quinjet, Natasha finally lifted herself off of you, giving you a smirk that was full of promise. You sat up, trying to catch your breath, your mind still reeling from the intense flight. But as you stood to follow the others out, you heard the soft click of the quinjet door closing behind you. You turned around, your heart skipping a beat as you saw Natasha standing there, blocking the exit, her eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that made your knees weak.

“Natasha…” you started, your voice trailing off as you realized exactly what was about to happen. Her smirk widened, her eyes dark with intent. “I think it’s time we finished what we started.” she said, her voice low and filled with the promise of what was to come. Your breath caught in your throat, a mix of anticipation and nervousness flooding your senses. You knew exactly what Natasha wanted..what she had been teasing you with throughout the flight and there was no escaping it now. Not that you wanted to.

Taking a deep breath, you stepped toward Natasha, your heart pounding as you closed the distance between you. “You’re relentless, you know that?” you murmured. Natasha’s eyes softened just a fraction as she reached out to cup your cheek, her thumb brushing lightly across your skin. “Only when it’s something I really want.”

You leaned into Natasha’s touch, your resolve finally breaking as you allowed yourself to fully embrace the feelings you had been trying to suppress. “And what do you want?” you whispered, already knowing the answer. Natasha’s lips curled into a slow, satisfied smile. “You.”

With that, Natasha closed the remaining distance between you, capturing your lips in a deep, passionate kiss. You melted into the kiss, all the tension and teasing from the flight finally giving way to the overwhelming connection between you. “Nat, we’re still in the jet..” you whispered urgently, your voice shaky with a mix of nervousness and desire. “There are cameras..Anyone could see this.”

Natasha paused, her lips hovering just above your skin as she met your gaze with a mischievous smile. “I know.” she replied, her voice low and laced with amusement. “That’s part of the fun.” Your eyes widened further, your heart pounding as you tried to process Natasha’s words. “You’re not serious..” you breathed, though you could see in Natasha’s eyes that she very much was.

Natasha let out a soft, sultry laugh, her hand coming up to cup your cheek. “Dead serious.” she whispered, her thumb brushing lightly across your lips. “I can watch it over and over again, anytime I want.”

Before you could say anything else, Natasha’s hands were on you again, pushing you gently but firmly back onto the seats. You let out a soft gasp as you felt the cool leather against your back again, your pulse quickening as Natasha climbed on top of you, her body pressing you down into the seat. Her hands moved with deliberate slowness, her fingers tracing teasing patterns along your body, making you squirm beneath her touch. “Relax..” Natasha whispered, her voice like velvet as her fingers slid under your shirt, brushing against your skin. “I’m going to make you feel good. Just let me.”

Your breath hitched as Natasha’s touch grew bolder, her fingers dancing across your stomach before moving lower. “N-Nat..” you breathed, your voice a mix of anticipation and need, as Natasha’s hand slid between your thighs, applying just enough pressure to make you gasp. Natasha smiled down at you, her eyes dark with desire as she leaned in, capturing your lips in a slow, deep kiss. As your lips moved together, Natasha’s fingers began to tease you through your clothes, drawing soft moans from you as you arched into the touch.

Breaking the kiss, Natasha pulled back slightly, her eyes locking with yours as she continued her teasing. “You’re so responsive..” she murmured, her voice filled with admiration as she watched you writhe beneath her. “I love how you react to me.” Your cheeks flushed, your breath coming in short, uneven gasps as Natasha’s hand moved with increasing intensity. “Nat, please..” you whispered, your voice filled with desperation as you felt the tension building inside you.

Natasha’s smile turned predatory as she pulled back, her hands moving to quickly remove your pants, leaving you bare and exposed to the cool air of the jet. You shivered, a mix of anticipation and vulnerability washing over you as Natasha spread your thighs apart, her gaze hungry as she took in the sight of you. Without another word, Natasha lowered herself between your legs, her breath warm against your skin as she placed soft, teasing kisses along your inner thighs. Your breath hitched, your body trembling with need as Natasha’s lips moved closer to where you craved her touch the most.

Finally, Natasha’s mouth found its target, and you let out a sharp gasp as you felt Natasha’s tongue flick against you, the sensation sending a bolt of pleasure through your body. Natasha’s hands gripped your hips, holding you in place as she began to work her tongue with expert precision, her every movement calculated to drive you closer to the edge. Your head fell back against the seat, your hands gripping the edge of the seat as you struggled to stay grounded in the overwhelming waves of pleasure that Natasha was pulling from you. “Natasha..!” you moaned, your voice a breathless plea as Natasha’s tongue moved faster, each stroke bringing you closer to the release you desperately needed.

Natasha hummed in response, the vibration sending another jolt of pleasure through you as she continued her relentless assault. Your body tensed, your back arching as you felt yourself teetering on the edge, the intensity of the moment nearly too much to bear. With a final, precise movement of her tongue, Natasha pushed you over the edge, and you cried out as the orgasm crashed over you, your body trembling uncontrollably. Natasha didn’t stop, her tongue continuing to move, drawing out every last bit of your release until you were left breathless and spent.

As you lay there, your chest heaving as you tried to catch your breath, Natasha finally pulled back, her lips glistening as she looked up at you with a satisfied smile. “You taste even better than I imagined..” she murmured, as she wiped the back of her hand across her mouth. You blushed deeply, your heart still racing as you looked down at Natasha, unable to form coherent words in the aftermath of what had just happened. But Natasha wasn’t done. She rose slowly, her hands sliding up your legs as she came to hover over you, her eyes dark with renewed desire.

“You’re not getting away that easily.” Natasha whispered, her voice husky as she began to undress herself. “We’re just getting started.” Your eyes widened as you watched Natasha, your breath catching in your throat as the redhead’s clothes fell away, revealing her toned, beautiful body. You knew exactly what Natasha intended to do next, and the anticipation sent another wave of heat through you, reigniting the desire that had barely begun to fade.

“f-fuck-” you started, but the words died in your throat as Natasha leaned down, capturing your lips in a searing kiss that left no room for doubt. Natasha’s hands were everywhere, touching, teasing, and claiming your body with an intensity that left you breathless. As Natasha positioned herself between your legs, you felt a mix of nervousness and overwhelming desire.

Natasha broke the kiss, her eyes locking onto yours as she whispered, “You’re mine. And I’m going to make sure you know it.” With that, Natasha pushed forward, entering you with a slow, deliberate motion that made you gasp. Natasha’s eyes never left yours, the connection between you deep and intense as your bodies finally came together. Your hands gripped Natasha’s shoulders, your nails digging into her skin as you moaned softly, the sensation of Natasha filling you overwhelming your senses. Natasha moved with purpose, each thrust calculated to bring you higher, your bodies moving together in perfect sync.

The intensity of the moment built quickly, each movement driving you closer and closer to the edge. Your moans filled the cabin, your body responding to Natasha’s every touch, every thrust, as you felt yourself spiraling toward another climax. Natasha’s breathing grew more ragged, her control slipping as she felt herself nearing the edge as well. “Fuck! Y/n..” she gasped, her voice filled with a mix of desperation and adoration as she thrust deeper, harder, chasing the release she knew you both craved.

Your body tensed, your muscles tightening as the pressure built to an almost unbearable level. With a final, deep thrust, Natasha pushed you both over the edge, and you cried out as the orgasm tore through you, your body convulsing in pleasure as Natasha followed you over the edge, your bodies trembling together in the aftermath. As the waves of pleasure slowly subsided, Natasha collapsed onto you, her breath coming in heavy gasps as she pressed her forehead against yours, your bodies still entwined. For a long moment, neither of you spoke, the only sound in the cabin your ragged breathing as you both came down from the high of your shared release.

Finally, Natasha lifted her head, her eyes soft as she looked down at you, a small, satisfied smile playing on her lips. “You’re amazing, you know that?” she whispered, her voice filled with affection as she brushed a strand of hair away from your face. You smiled weakly, your body still tingling from the intensity of what had just happened. “You’re not so bad yourself..” you murmuredas you try to catch your breath.

Natasha’s expression shifted, a mischievous glint returning to her eyes as she seemed to consider something. Without warning, Natasha moved, pulling you up and turning you so you were on your hands and knees, your body facing one of the cameras mounted in the corner of the jet. You gasped at the sudden movement, your heart racing as you realized what Natasha intended. “W-Wait, no, no, you wont..!”

Natasha didn’t answer immediately. Instead, she ran her hands down your back, admiring the way you shivered under her touch. “You’re going to look so beautiful in this footage..” Natasha murmured, her voice low and filled with anticipation. “I want to capture every moment..every reaction.”

Your breath hitched, your pulse quickening as you felt Natasha’s hands grip your hips firmly. You could feel Natasha’s arousal against you, and the idea of what was about to happen sent a thrill through you. “Y-You’re really going to-”

“Watch it over and over again,” Natasha finished for you, her tone dark with desire. “I want to see this from every angle, to remember how you looked when you’re mine.” With that, Natasha didn’t waste any more time. She positioned herself behind you, her hands gripping your hips tightly as she entered you from behind with one smooth, deliberate motion. You moaned loudly, your head dropping forward as Natasha filled you, the intensity of the sensation overwhelming your senses.

She reached forward, grabbing a handful of your hair and pulling your head up, forcing you to look directly into the camera. The position left you feeling both vulnerable and completely exposed, but the knowledge that Natasha would be watching this moment over and over again sent a new wave of heat through you.

“Look at the camera..” Natasha whispered, her voice a low growl. “I want you to see exactly what I’m doing to you.” Your eyes locked onto the camera lens, your breath coming in short, ragged gasps as Natasha began to move, each thrust deliberate and powerful, pushing you closer and closer to the edge. The pull on your hair kept your head in place, forcing you to watch yourself as Natasha took you, the sight only adding to the intensity of the moment.

Natasha’s pace quickened, her grip on your hair tightening as she thrust deeper, each movement calculated to bring you to the brink of another climax. “You look so perfect like this..!” Natasha murmured, her voice filled with satisfaction as she watched your reactions. “You’re mine..mine to touch, to take, to watch, fuck!”

Your body trembled with the force of Natasha’s thrusts, your moans growing louder as you felt yourself spiraling toward another release. The combination of Natasha’s roughness, the pull on your hair, and the knowledge that this moment would be replayed over and over again was too much. The tension in your body built quickly, reaching a fever pitch as Natasha’s movements became more urgent, more demanding.

“Come for me.” Natasha growled, her voice dark and commanding as she thrust harder, her eyes never leaving your reflection in the camera. “I want to see you fall apart.”

With one final, deep thrust, you were pushed over the edge, a scream tearing from your throat as the orgasm ripped through you, your body shaking uncontrollably. Natasha kept moving, prolonging the sensation, her own breath ragged as she chased her own release. Natasha’s grip on your hair tightened as she thrust one last time, her body shuddering as she followed you over the edge, your moans mingling together in the air as you both found your release.

As the intensity of the moment began to fade, Natasha slowly loosened her grip on your hair, letting your head fall forward as you caught your breath. You collapsed onto the seat, your body spent and trembling from the overwhelming experience. Natasha leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your back as she whispered, “You were perfect. Absolutely perfect.��

You smiled weakly, your body still tingling from the aftershocks of your orgasm. “I can’t believe you’re going to watch that..” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper. Natasha chuckled softly, her hand gently caressing your back. “Every chance I get.” she replied, her voice filled with satisfaction. “You have no idea how much I’ve wanted this.”

Your heart swelled at Natasha’s words, a sense of warmth and belonging washing over you as you lay there, completely spent and utterly content. Despite the intensity of what had just happened, you knew that you were safe, that Natasha would never let anyone see this but her. With one final kiss to your back, Natasha slowly pulled away, gathering you into her arms as you lay together on the seat, your bodies entwined as you came down from the high of your shared release.

As you lay there, basking in the aftermath of your passion, you couldn’t help but smile, knowing that this was just the beginning of something new and exciting between you..a connection that would only grow stronger with time. And as for the footage..well, you knew that you’d probably never look at the quinjet the same way again.

[hoshigray]

Hi hi LOVEEE YOUR WORKK

The way you write kinda touches my heart, and tingles my brain a little too

Especially your jjk fics!!!

Do you mind if I request a kind of angst smut fic of reader leaving home to blow off some steam after having a heated argument with any JJK man and he comes out to find her and resolve 😼😼🤭 it in the car?

Thank you for reading thisss 🫶

𝐚. 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: awww, ty for liking my stuff!! i was supposed to release a sugu fic today (but didn't, yikes, lmao), so imma make this sugu~

⊹ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: Geto x afab/fem! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - angst + reconciliation - sex in a public area; car out in the neighborhood - fingering (f! receiving) - clitoral play (swiping and licking) - feedbag position - oral (f! receiving) - pet names (angel, baby, pretty thing, my love, pumpkin, sweetheart) - implied insertion at the end - mention of spit.

⊹ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.2k

“…”

“Y/n, what are you doing?.”

“You can’t see I’m taking a walk?”

“Please just get inside the car.”

“Leave me alone, Geto!”

Geto winces at the use of his family name. Oh fuck, they really are mad at me…

You were walking on the pavement, your anger exhibited through your feet, stomping as you traveled down the concrete floor in the supposed quiet neighborhood. Unfortunately, you weren’t alone; your boyfriend drove slowly to match your speed and speak with you. 

Why were you angry? Why don’t you ask the fucking asshat following you in that car of his? The two of you had a terrible argument not too long ago, and you’re sure the neighbors of your complex must’ve heard the audible insults and blows you two threw at each other for almost an hour. You hadn’t expected things to be blown out of proportion – it’s not unusual for people in relationships to argue. However, if your partner insidiously says something that he knows will tip you off the scales, are you not inclined to exit the apartment to blow off some steam before you choke him to death and have a murder charge on your record?

“Baby, c’mon, you can’t just keep walking on the sidewalk like this.”

So here you are, out for an evening stroll meant to calm you down, yet it’s doing the opposite since a certain someone is trailing alongside you. 

You suck your teeth, “Geto, go home! Why are you even following me?”

The tall black-haired man ducks down for you to see him from the driver’s window. “Because I feel bad!”

“Good!” You bark. “Good that you feel bad; feel nothing but bad, so just leave me be.”

“You know I can’t do that; look how dark out it’s getting!” It was around nine in the evening. The sun had just finished setting, so its shine was dwindling, and the twilight was mere minutes away from transitioning to dusk. “You can’t be walking out alone; just get in the car.”

“Hmph, absolutely not,” you can feel the crease of your furrowed brows worsening. “I’m heading to get homemade ice cream from that place I like; it’s the only thing that can put my mind at ease right now, and seeing your face and hearing your voice isn’t doing anything good for my mood right now.” 

The flat line of Geto’s lips is pressed harder, guilt swelling in the pitch of his gut like no other. “…I’ll take you to the place. Just hop in.”

“I’d rather get shot.” Apparently, your boyfriend doesn’t get the ‘don’t want to hear or see you’ part you stressed about literally seconds ago.

“That’s what I don’t want! Do you have any idea how long the walk is?”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m very aware, and you’re slowing me down with all this chat.”

“Yeah, but you won’t get to that place until around ten o’clock,” he argues. And then that’s another hour and a half walking back; you’d probably be back home by midnight!” 

You couldn’t lie; hearing him be so concerned about you and your safety made you feel a little warm from the early summer breeze touching the exposed skin of the halter top. However, a part of your stubbornness refused to stand down. And yet the more you looked towards you, the further it felt like you’d reach your destination. He’s right; you wouldn’t make it home in time. Plus, it’s getting darker by the second, the comforting blue hue of the sky being absorbed by the bright, dominant moon. 

Once you come to an abrupt stop, Geto nearly forgets to hit the brakes, and your figure stands motionless and silent. Then, you move towards the door behind the driver’s side, opening the door to sit in the backseat. You beat Geto to the punch, breaking the silence, “Don’t talk, just drive.”

A soft, relieved sigh leaves the onyx-headed man, but he notices you avoiding the rearview mirror, where purple eyes flicker to try to see you. “…Is this really necessary?”

“What is?”

“You sitting in the backseat?” 

“What does it matter to you? I’m in the car, aren’t I?”

“What the hell am I, you Uber? Get in the front.”

“No. You said you’d drive me, so do that, and don’t make me angrier than I already am.” 

You thought you won the round when you didn’t hear a remark from your companion. Yet, that wasn’t the case because the man opened and closed his door, walked around the car to open the door to the other side of the backseat, and it takes everything in your power not to pop a vessel when he takes a seat. “You cannot be serious.”

“I’m very serious,” he closes the door. 

“Are you deaf? I said I don’t wanna talk to you.”

“And are you blind; can’t you see me trying to make this work—“

“Work?” Oh, how you wanted to burn this car up. “You should’ve thought about that when you said what you said back there.” You didn’t know if it was right to say that—That sounded mean, was it mean?—yet it came from a place of hurt that he caused.

Your words strike deep into Geto, but he still speaks his mind. “Y/n, please…Can you at least look at me?” You don’t move a muscle. “I’m your boyfriend, so can you at least look at my face and not push me—“

“Yeah, you are my boyfriend,” malice in your tone. “And you’re doing a pretty terrible job as of today.”

“Y/n—“

“God!” Now, you finally turn to him with vexation scorching your pupils. “I just want to be left alone–away from you, alright! What part of that don’t you get?! Why can’t you leave me alone?”

“Because I’m sorry!”

Your lips nearly quiver at the snap of those three words, eyes on the brink of shedding tears. Nonetheless, your face returns to the front. “Bullshit…H-Hey, let go!”

“I told you, I’m being very serious!” Geto brings you in for an embrace, and your resistance is hushed down as he keeps talking. “Look, I…I’m sorry. What I said back there…I didn’t mean for it to hurt you like it did, baby. You said something before that made me angry and…” his hold on you gets tighter; you notice even if you’re busy hearing every word from his mouth. “I didn’t think what I said would make you leave, and I got scared.” His mellow voice delves into a hushed tone. “So fucking scared…I’m sorry, Y/n. Just…don’t leave me out like that, okay…”

And with that, the remnant of your irritation ceased. The hotness of your blood subsides to a calm flow, your body easing into the hug as his apology repeats in your mind. You couldn’t think about your argument before; you just can’t, not with an apology like this when you can feel and hear him be genuine and vulnerable. You wanted to be angry with him–you tried– but the more you forced the outrage, the more you kept burrowing your head into his chest and your hands wrapped around his slim figure. 

“You’re such a dick, do you know that?” Doing everything you can not to cry since his face is nestled in the crook of your neck. “And…I’m sorry for saying stuff that made you mad at me, too.”

“Guess we’re both dicks, huh.” A joke meant to make you giggle, but he doesn’t sense the jerk of your shoulders. “Hey, I’m sorry. You forgive me?”

“Sure,” you murmur. “After you get me that ice cream.” Your jest made him chuckle instead.

“Mmm, on it,” your breath stops at the kiss on your temple. “But, before that,” he lifts his head, violet eyes examining your expression. “Don’t you think I should also have a little something?”

His question confuses you until you feel the grasp of his hand sneak inside your jeans, and the bare flesh of your ass meets the mild cold of his fingertips. “Suguru, what are you—“

“Compensation,” he kisses your neck, and you gasp at another rough knead on your asscheek. 

“Oh, that’s bull…Mmm.”

“Oh? So you can have ice cream to forgive me, but I can’t have anything?” The hand is then lifted out to move to the front, his gingers pressing on the part of your panties that cover your groin. “Well, aren’t you selfish.”

You couldn’t question his logic with his digits now motioning up and down your concealed cunt, your legs spreading apart as Geto’s forearm pushed them aside for easier access. “Hahhh, Sugu…Mmmnn, not here…”

“Mmm? Why not?” He says with faux shock, gently having you lay on your back as he spreads your legs further. His hand still fingers your underwear, only fueling a wet spot to protrude more and more. “It’s dark out, and no one’s driving around here.”

“That’s not—Mmmm!” A thumb presses down on your clit; how cruel to sneak that attack on you. “Ohh, fuck…”

Geto kisses you, gradually unraveling your erotic senses with every peck he places on your lips with his soft ones. And his lips don’t rest there, laying kisses to your chin, your collarbone, and lifting your shirt to expose your abdomen for him to kiss and suck the skin of your tummy and navel. All the while, his fore and middle fingers keep pushing into your chasm as your hips buck subtly.

Another minute of pleasing you with his hand goes by, your wetness becoming more and more evident as his digits did the work in having you wet for him. “Look at you,” he’d say cooly. “Making a mess, such a dirty, pretty thing you are.”

“Sugu, stop, you’re making me—Oooh…” he slips his middle finger inside your panties to insert you. And then, his thumb dances around your clitoris, evoking the shaky moans to leave you. “Ahhh! Noo, don’t move like…”

A snicker leaves his lips. “What? You like it when I tease you like this, don’t you, pumpkin?” He pushes your underwear out of the way and continues to finger you. “You’re gripping on my finger like crazy.”

“Shhtoop, your fingers,” your hand finds his wrist yet does nothing to stop him. “If you keep going, I-I’ll…Hooohh…”Your eyelids suddenly feel heavy, closing them to conceal your vision. However, that only enhances the use of your other senses, indulging in the sense of touch as Geto plays with your pussy. 

Even if you didn’t finish your sentence, Geto takes the initiative and removes his hand to lick the fingers. “Oh, my love,” he coos while rolling up your underwear to stay on your inner leg after removing your jeans. In the meantime, the man brings your hips up and rests your legs on his shoulders. “That’s exactly what I want from you…”

Your eyes snap open at the contact of something wet yet firm, sliding across your wet folds, your body jolting at the sensation of it nestling between your labia. And the flick of his tongue on your clit nearly has you choke. “Suguu, no, don’t—Ahaann!”

Any attempts to squirm out of his hold don’t seem manageable now that you two are in the backseat of the car; his hands firmly keep you stable and still as his face ventures closer to your genitalia. Tiny moans get louder and louder with every lick of his tongue cleaning your slit of your essence; ironic as more of your fluids seep out as he does so.

Your hand grabs hold of tuffs of his raven hair, but that only eggs him on to keep going. Pushing his tongue into your entrance, he fucks you with the wet muscle and has your body writhe and crying for him. As the space gets hotter, you wouldn’t be surprised to find fog starting to cloud the windows. But that would probably be for the best as you wouldn’t want people on this road to know what you two were doing, nor hear the squelches from the commotion.

“Ohhhshit, shiiiit,” your head pounding like crazy, you couldn’t think straight, and the walls of your cunt keep clamping onto the tongue that swirls around and has you wailing. “Ooooh,hoooh, Sugu’, I’m gonna—It’s coming…! I’m…Aiishhh!”

“Go ahead, angel,” he says before licking your clit erratically, using his middle finger to fuck your release out. “Let it out for me, baby.”

With how fast he’s sucking and licking your delicate bud and his digit rubbing on your velvety texture, how can you not come? You scream aloud at the wave that crashes on your body, your hips jerking on their own as the trembles of your orgasm rock your entire frame.

Geto keeps you steady, taking in your release with his mouth. He groans at the taste of you on his tongue, his fingers kneading your waist as if to relax your body for him as you ride out your high because of him. Quivering legs get less apparent with every buck, and once your breathing returns to an average pace, he places you back down. 

“Good job, sweetie,” he bends to kiss your cheek as he unbuckles his pants to expose his briefs that harbor a tent. “You tasted too good to resist; wanna feel you all on me…”

“You…” you grab for his cheek to pinch. “I better get my ice cream tonight, Geto Suguru.”

Your soft threat has him chuckling. “Will do, baby,” and you succumb to a kiss.

If the windows hadn’t fogged up already, they sure were going to now.

© 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲2024 – reblogs and comments are appreciated wholeheartedly ✩ dividers by @/benkeibear.

[writingforstraykids]

THIS CHAN?? I WENT FERAL???!????

anyways 🤭 imagine you taking chan and him forcing you to look into the mirror behind the bed as he absolutely destroys your sweet little cunt😼

Ohh believe me, that pic made my thoughts run wild already so thank you!! Your request hasn't left my mind all morning so yeah...this happened real quick😂🖤

Right here with you, always

Pairing: Chan x femReader

Word Count: 1915

Warnings/Tags: fluff, smut, p in v, unprotected sex

A/N: Hope you like it, love🖤

do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works in any way here or on other platforms. ©writingforstraykids 2024-

male!version here

The cobblestone streets of Milan seemed to sparkle under the golden hues of the early evening sun as you and Chan made your way through the city. Milan was pulsing with life, its vibrant energy matching the excitement in your heart. Chan had invited you to join him on this glamorous outing, blending the worlds of high fashion and intimate togetherness.

You watched him from the corner of your eye, admiration blooming inside you. He was dressed in a blue shirt that highlighted the warmth of his eyes and complemented his dark hair. Chan suggested dinner at a small, elegant restaurant known for its secluded ambiance and exquisite Italian cuisine. Over plates of creamy risotto and perfectly aged wine, you shared stories and dreams, his laughter blending harmoniously with the soft notes of a violin playing somewhere in the background.

As the sky deepened into a velvety blue, Chan took your hand, leading you out into the enchanting night. Milan at night was a different kind of beautiful; the lights of the city reflected in the gentle ripple of the canals, the air filled with the subtle aroma of blooming jasmine. Walking through this cityscape with Chan, you felt as if you were part of a living canvas, every step painting a stroke of memories in your shared story.

Eventually, the night led you to his hotel, a place of refined elegance. Inside, the world quieted down to just the two of you. Chan guided you to the sofa in his suite, a soft, inviting piece that seemed to echo the plush luxury of your surroundings. As you settled into the comfort of the sofa, he pulled you gently into his lap, a smile playing on his lips.

“You look so beautiful tonight,” you whispered, your hands tracing the lines of his muscular arms, feeling the strength that lay beneath his soft shirt. “This blue shirt… it’s perfect on you. It makes your eyes look like chocolate; deep and endlessly sweet.”

At first, Chan blushed, a shy smile curving his lips as his gaze flickered away. It wasn't often that he heard such open adoration, even from you, his partner. Yet, the honesty in your voice and the warmth in your eyes encouraged him to accept your compliments. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer, his own confidence growing with the realization of how much you needed him in this moment.

“I love seeing you like this,” he murmured, his voice a soft rumble against your ear. His hands were gentle but firm on your back, making every nerve in your body sing with a pleasant tension. The room around you seemed to fade, the sounds of Milan's nightlife a distant echo to the intimacy that unfolded between the two of you. “Love how pretty you look in that dress,” he told you, hands fondling up your thighs and below the skirt. “Love how your body always searches mine,” he confessed, biting back a soft groan as you pressed down against him.

His lips met yours in a fierce kiss, hand shooting up into your hair. You kissed back eagerly, grinding down against him with soft, needy sounds. Chan's grip on your hair tightens, his hips chasing yours with a low groan.

As the kiss deepened, your senses overwhelmed by the gentle yet insistent passion between you, the world outside seemed to vanish completely. Chan’s hands moved with a tenderness that contrasted and complemented the growing intensity of the moment. He was skilled, knowing exactly how to make you feel cherished and desired all at once.

Your panties met the floor as Chan lifted his hips, shuffling his pants down enough to free his aching dick. He made quick work of preparing you, stretching you out with his fingers and kissing down your neck hungrily. You sunk down on him soon, moaning out loudly as he stretched your fluttering walls just right.

Chan's hands found your hips, steadying you in his lap as he started thrusting into you. “Fuck,” he whispered needily. “You feel so good, baby girl,” he told you, setting a fast pace.

You matched his rhythm, your movements fueled by the shared desire that connected you. The heat of the moment intensified, your bodies moving in sync as you rode him, each thrust deepening the bond between you. Chan’s eyes were locked onto yours, the intensity in his gaze making you feel both powerful and utterly vulnerable at the same time.

“Chan, please,” you whispered, your voice breathy and filled with raw emotion. “Don’t stop.”

“I won’t,” he promised, his voice a mix of passion and reassurance. His grip on your hips tightened, his thrusts growing more urgent. “I’m right here with you, always, pretty girl.” You hid your face in his shoulder, embarrassed of the weak sounds he pulled from you with each thrust. Chan's hand sunk into your hair, pulling you back up. “I want you to look at yourself,” he said, nodding at the mirror wall right behind him. “Want you to see how pretty you are like this.”

“Channie,” you whined softly but did as he told you. “Fuck,” you whimpered as his pace fastened, making you bounce on him.

His grip on your hips was firm as he guided you up and down, his thrusts growing more insistent with each passing second. The sight of yourself in the mirror, bouncing on his lap, your dress hitched up around your waist, your face flushed with pleasure, was almost too much to bear. The raw intensity of the moment made you feel exposed yet profoundly connected to Chan.

"Do you see how beautiful you are?" he murmured, his voice a low, guttural whisper that sent shivers down your spine. "Do you see how perfect you are for me? Only for me?"

The combination of his words and the image in the mirror heightened your senses, your body responding to him with an urgency that bordered on desperation. Your hands clung to his shoulders, your nails digging into his skin as you rode him harder, the rhythm of your movements becoming frantic.

"Yes, Chan," you gasped, your voice catching in your throat. "I'm yours."

Chan's eyes never left your face, his gaze filled with a mix of adoration and raw desire. "Good girl," he praised, his hands guiding your movements with a steady, unrelenting pace. "I want you to feel everything, baby girl. I want you to feel how much I need you."

His words pushed you closer to the edge, your body trembling with the intensity of your impending climax. "Chan, I'm so close," you moaned, your head falling back as the pleasure built to a crescendo.

Chan growled softly, reaching down between your bodies and playing with your clit. The touch sent shivers up your spine, making you arch into him with a loud, whimpery moan. “Such a good girl,” he moaned, thrusting into you harshly, feeling his own climax creeping up on him.

“Please, Chan~,” you almost sobbed, a little overwhelmed by all the pleasure coursing through your body. “Need to - please.”

"Let go for me," he urged, his voice thick with emotion. "Let go, pretty girl. I've got you."

With a final, powerful thrust, you shattered, your release washing over you in waves of pure ecstasy. Your cries of pleasure filled the room, mingling with Chan's own groans as he followed you over the edge, his body tensing beneath you as he found his release.

You collapsed against him, both of you breathless and spent, your bodies trembling from the intensity of the experience. Chan's arms wrapped around you, holding you close as you both came down from the high.

"You did so well," he murmured, pressing soft kisses to your hair. "So beautiful, so perfect."

You snuggled closer to him, feeling a deep sense of contentment and love. "Thank you, Chan," you whispered, your voice filled with gratitude. "For everything."

He smiled, his eyes softening with affection. "Always, baby girl. Always."

The world outside the hotel room was a distant memory, the night in Milan a backdrop to the profound connection you shared with Chan. As you lay in his arms, the city lights twinkling outside the window, you knew that no matter where life took you, moments like these would always bring you back to each other.

-

Later, after you had both cleaned up and settled into the luxurious bed, the quiet intimacy continued to envelop you. Chan's gentle touches and soft murmurs of affection filled the space between you, making even the simplest moments feel special.

"Do you remember our first trip together?" Chan asked, his voice a soft rumble in the darkness.

You smiled, recalling the memory fondly. "Of course I do. How could I forget? It was magical."

"It was," he agreed, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on your arm. "But this... tonight... it's even better."

You turned to face him, your eyes meeting in the dim light. "Why do you say that?"

"Because we're here together," he replied simply, his voice filled with sincerity. "Because every moment with you is better than the last."

Your heart swelled with love for him, and you leaned in to kiss him softly. "I feel the same way," you whispered against his lips. "Every moment with you is a gift."

As you drifted off to sleep in his arms, you knew that no matter what challenges or adventures lay ahead, you and Chan would face them together, your love growing stronger with each passing day.

-

The next morning, the soft light of dawn filtered through the curtains, casting a gentle glow over the room. You woke up to the feeling of Chan’s fingers gently tracing patterns on your back, his touch a comforting presence.

“Good morning,” he murmured, his voice still husky with sleep.

“Good morning,” you replied, turning to face him. His eyes were warm and filled with love, and you couldn’t help but smile at the sight.

Chan leaned in, capturing your lips in a slow, tender kiss. “How did you sleep?” he asked when he pulled away.

“Perfectly,” you said, your heart swelling with happiness. “How about you?”

“Best sleep I’ve had in a long time,” he admitted, his smile widening. “Being with you always makes everything better.”

You snuggled closer to him, savoring the peaceful morning. “I feel the same way,” you confessed, feeling a deep sense of contentment.

As the morning progressed, you both took your time getting ready, enjoying the relaxed pace of the day. The streets of Milan called to you, promising new adventures and memories to be made. But no matter what the day held, you knew that the connection you shared with Chan would remain the most beautiful part of your journey together.

-

Walking through the bustling streets of Milan once more, hand in hand with Chan, you felt a profound sense of gratitude for the love and happiness you had found. The city seemed to sparkle with the promise of new experiences, each moment adding to the rich tapestry of your shared life.

Chan squeezed your hand gently, his eyes reflecting the same joy that filled your heart. “Ready for another day of adventures?” he asked, his voice filled with excitement.

“Absolutely,” you replied, smiling up at him. “As long as I’m with you, I’m ready for anything.”

And with that, you both stepped forward, ready to embrace whatever the day had in store, knowing that together, you could conquer the world.

MASTERLISTS | PROMPT LIST | GUIDELINES

Taglist (Please let me know if you want to be added to or removed from the taglist):

@atinyniki @galaxycatdrawz @silverstarburst @aaa-sia @lilmisssona @kthstrawberryshortcake @channieaddict @soullostinspaceandtime @rebecca-johnson-28 @lixie-phoria @kibs-and-bits @xxstrayland @ihrtlix @pheonixfire777 @mellhwang @palindrome969 @michelle4eve @harshaaaaa @rylea08 @heeyboooo @manuosorioh @gisaerlleri @andassortedkpop @lailac13 @bbokari711 @kazuuuaaa @rssamj @wolfyychan @stellasays45 @chrizzztopherbang @ionlyeverwantedtobeyourequal @silentreadersthings @myforevermelody143 @sapphirewaves @slutforchanlix

[jennifer-jeong]

Smut | Sylus x AFAB!Reader First Impressions

SUMMARY Your first impressions of Sylus and how they translate into the more… intimate parts of your relationship.

CONTENT NSFW, smut, hard kinks, BDSM themes, size kink, impact play, spanking, vaginal penetration, doggy, missionary, choking, clit play, creampie, m and f orgasm, I WANT HIS STYLUS 😼, he’s secretly very in love with you idk, ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+

AUTHOUR NOTE I literally haven’t even downloaded the update yet because my phone has no storage LMFAOO so this is literally just my first impressions of him based off my Tumblr and Twitter timelines and the posts I’ve seen about him.

WORD COUNT: 789

Sylus wasn’t a man that understood restraint. While he understood how he would go about holding himself back, he always decided on disregarding it, especially when it came to you.

The man was the definition of domineering and he was always absolutely determined to wreck you.

Sadism was almost too light a word to describe him with how much he enjoyed drinking up your fear and uncertainty. You knew he was stronger and he always left you unsure of what he’d do next or if it was going to hurt.

When he tries to bully his thick member into you for the first time, he can’t help but let the way you whine “ah! H-hurts” make him twitch at the entrance of you.

Despite your protests, time and time again your body betrays you, showing him how bad you want him by gushing all over him. Helping him slide into you as he stretches you to his size. Your body genuinely couldn’t take his size before but it’s actually gotten easier overtime as if you were genuinely being molded by him. The thought of it made you dizzy.

He absolutely loves fucking you in doggy and spanking you until your skin burns, turning bright red. While you weren’t one to shy away from the dull stinging, he always took it a few slaps too far. He knew when it would actually start to hurt for you and when the skin would get too sensitive, and he’d push you past that point with 3 harsh slaps before rubbing his hands over the area to soothe you.

When he fucks you in missionary though, he’s a whole other monster. In this angle he can barely bottom out in you so he’s genuinely bruising your cervix with every rough thrust.

Of course he checks on you after and gives you good aftercare, but in the heat of the moment, he most definitely bullies you. He slaps at your pretty tits, pinching your nipples and pulling up before letting them recoil as you yelp at the pain.

When he chokes you he does it with his left hand so his right hand can slap at your pretty tear stained face while he whispers the nastiest things to you while holding intoxicating eye contact.

“Such a fucking slut hm?” slap “y’like it when I slap you don’t you,” slap “so fucking filthy” he says with a chuckle “just for me” he adds as he kisses you.

When both of you start to reach your highs, he’s definitely squeezing your neck harder. He presses expertly on your arteries to reduce the blood flow to your brain, starving it of oxygen. It makes your eyes roll back and tongue loll out ever so slightly.

He does it because he knows it fucks with your senses. All you can hear is your heartbeat in your ears as the wet sounds of skin slapping fade out. Your vision gets hazy and spotty, and Sylus’s favorite part: your pussy gets slightly less sensitive. Your brain can’t register all the signals while it’s fighting to keep you conscious. He does it often to deny you your orgasm.

But he also does it so he can catch up to you, it’ll take a while for him to admit it but he absolutely adores finishing with you. Loves feeling your walls milk him in waves as your body racks with shivers. He also loves hearing your voice and how shameless your moans become when you become undone.

So when he’s close, he fully lets go of your neck and instead sits up to ram straight into your g spot and thumb at your neglected clit.

As you feel blood flow into your brain, you also feel the intensity of your pleasure ramp up over the course of 2 seconds before it crashes down on you and you cum so fucking hard each time he does this.

He loves the way your back arches and how your hands grip the sheets for dear life as you cum. You also have a habit of squeezing your eyes shut when it hits you and he finds it kinda cute. But in the moment, he’s usually too far gone to be thinking about if you’re cute or not. You squeeze him so sinfully when you cum and you gush with arousal, making it feel absolutely amazing for him as he stuffs you with his own release.

When he cums it’s also one of the only times you’ll hear him actually moan. He’ll let out grunts and quiet moans but when he finishes in your gummy walls he can’t help but let you know how good you feel. It’s his way of saying “I love you” as he collapses onto you, holding you and breathing into your ear.

|| MASTERLIST ♡ || Thank you for reading! ||

[rindreamery]

Hiii can I have Yukimiya spicy + eye contact + secret relationship

And congratulations on 300 😼

ORDER 1: READY TO GO !

yukimiya + spicy + eye contact + secret relationship w.c. 901

note. thank you !! i was so excited for this prompt skdjddj i was literally waiting for someone to do this combo

interested in more? check out the lounge !

yukimiya had never considered himself to be a jealous man.

not once had he ever felt this creeping, green-eyed sensation wash over him; not once had he ever been in a situation that would make him jealous. that was, until now. even in this tiny, crowded karaoke room— with distracting strobe lights bouncing all over the walls, flashing straight into his eyes occasionally, and the obnoxious singing in the background overwhelming his ears— he’s only able to focus on you. you, and the man pressed right up against your shoulder, completely invading your personal space.

there’s a polite smile gracing your lips as you listen to the man talk, but your smile never reaches your eyes, and your laughs are so blatantly fake. he knows you’re simply being respectful, and that there isn’t really any space to push him away to begin with, not when you’re both sandwiched between two others. 

he had never felt jealous before, but it’s not hard to pinpoint exactly what he’s feeling right now. 

the feeling creeps in on him, subtle at first, like understanding that this wasn’t exactly a pleasant situation for him. but then there’s a flicker— a wave of mild possessiveness he’s never felt before, when the man scoots even closer to you— and then knots of uneasiness are forming in his chest. it feels tight, and the more he watches, the more it constricts. he tries to shake off the feeling, to tear his eyes away and just try to enjoy the night, but he can’t.

there’s someone talking into his ear, and he has half the decency to hum and smile along to whatever they’re saying. but his eyes never leave you. he slowly sweeps over the line of your body, trailing down every curve, and then up until he’s staring right at you again.

it’s intense, and you can feel the burning trail he leaves on your skin from his stare alone. 

you’re sitting across from yukimiya, focus dancing between the man next to you and him, right in front of you. he’s leaning back, one leg thrown over the other, with an arm draped over the backrest of the couch. you catch his gaze from across the crowded room— even under the dim lights, you pick up on a certain haziness and shadow cast over his eyes. 

you throw a quick apology to the man next to you, mumbling some lame excuse about needing some “quiet” to yourself— at least, as quiet as it could get in this room. but your attention is back on yukimiya instantly, brow raised, a silent questioning look on your face. (you’ve never seen this before, and you’re mildly excited at the thought.)

yukimiya notices; he sees the flash of interest behind your eyes, he sees the way your body unintentionally shifts to lean forward, to get closer to him. he sees the way the man turns away from you, off to talk to another person, and the constriction in his chest dissipates. the corner of his lips curls into a subtle smirk at the sight, the kind that he knows makes your heart beat just a little faster. he’s got you right where he wanted: attention wholly on him. 

there’s no need for words here. he makes sure your eyes stay on his at all times, challenging you to keep looking, or to look away— but he knows you won't. he’s tilting his head back slightly, bringing a hand to brush his hair back in one sweep, gaze momentarily dipping from your glossy lips and then back up to your eyes. teasing you, playing this game with you. 

but, there’s one thing at the forefront of his mind. he’s making sure your eyes catch on to the ring on his finger, making sure it shines underneath the strobe lights.

your heart skips a beat at the realization, at the sight of him wearing it so proudly, watching the ring disappear and reappear through his dark locks, and then you smile sweetly back at him. but he knows better; he can see the gleam of mischievousness from across the room. his eyes stay on yours, the same way your eyes would never leave his. and from his periphery, he sees the way your fingers twirl with the little necklace wrapped around your neck, the way the ring attached on the end moves slightly underneath the fabric of your shirt.

nobody knows that the pendant on your necklace is a ring, the same exact one as his, your initials engraved into the inner part of the bands. nobody knows, except you and him. 

you let the ring slip out from the neckline of your shirt, dangling fleetingly above your collarbone (he catches a glimpse of a blooming purple mark peeking out from behind the fabric, and his heart swells), before it’s falling back underneath. he notices, of course he does. a soft laugh escapes his lips as he glances away for a split second, but it’s brief. 

he can see your gaze flit between his lips and his eyes, and he starts to wonder how long the two of you will hold out. 

the game continues, both of you daring the other to make another bolder, riskier move. your heart beats faster, knowing that with all the people around you, it's only the two of you in this little bubble of shared glances and stolen moments.

© rindreamery, 2024

[venusiangguk]

the art of trying | jjk (m)

>>pairing: jungkook x reader / dilf!jk x grocery store clerk!oc

>>genre: friends with benefits, smut, angst

>>word count: 29.3k 😁

>>warnings: dom jk, sub oc, age gap, oc club era 🪩🥂, oc heart to heart with…, enter mr park seojoon !!, budding friendships 🥰, mending of relationships, enter dilf !!, reconciliation finally, but still we yearn, and jk is still a little stewpid, however!! he is doing his best!!, mostly oc pov i think, warning for a little bit of sad bc she is sad !!, but not too sad 😼, enter jock !!, dilf jk stuff: asking for permission, saying thank u, etc., fore play in the form of a lil dry humping 🫶🏻, finishes (multiple),, oral (m & f), dirty talk, lovesick gross smitteness 👎🏻, jreampie 👍🏻,  and finally, enter nari !! (🧋)

>>notes: finally am i right 🤣

this is part of my dilf jk series that can be found on my masterlist

>>summary: you’re trying to forget jungkook, but he’s trying to make sure you remember why you shouldn’t. 

It’s the middle of January and I haven’t learned to be okay without you, yet. The wind outside is harsh and cold. It hurts my feelings sometimes. 

 It reminds me of you, sometimes, too.

 I still miss you.

 “Girl, what does that even mean?”

 Your laptop gets slammed shut, and you whip your head around to see Binna. Your very best friend that has been caught red-handed, reading over your shoulder.

 “Do you mind?” you say with narrowed eyes.

 “I do actually,” she says, walking around the couch and plopping next to you. 

 You roll your eyes and rephrase with something she’s hopefully less likely to have an answer to. “Can I help you?”

 Binna looks stumped for approximately .4 seconds –not nearly long enough to be satisfying– and then she’s saying, “No, but you can help yourself. Please go to therapy. I am begging you and also I will pay for it.” 

 “Die.”

 “C’mon, you’ve been sad for like almost 2 months,” she groans, “and it’s like… tangible, ___. I walk into the house and I can feel it. It just permeates the air and– look, it even killed the plant.”

 Binna’s pointed finger guides your gaze to the small succulent on the windowsill and it’s a bit pathetic how your eyes start to tear up because it is in fact, the tiny succulent Jeongguk gave you so many months ago. You had done a good job of taking care of it for a while, his occasional texts reminding you to water it had been helpful. But lately you haven’t even really been taking care of yourself, and the little plant has, unfortunately, become collateral damage. 

 You also don’t get those texts anymore.

 With big watery eyes and a fat bottom lip, you turn back to her and she sighs. Grabs the remote and pauses whatever is playing on the tv. This makes Jade squawk, something about her watching it and it being the best part but Binna is having none of it.

 “No, this is actually dire. She’s crying over the plant, Jade. We have to intervene, it’s time.”

 Jade pouts for a moment, looking between the tv and you as if she can’t decide which is more pressing. When she crawls from her place where she was laying on the floor to your feet, it seems her decision is made. She rests her chin on your knee.

 “Still sad over the dilf?” she asks.

 You nod pitifully.

 “She was openly writing melancholy about him… it's a public cry for help,” Binna adds.

 With a nod of understanding, Jade says, “Writing can be a good way to get your thoughts together and work through them.”

 Choosing not to tell them that you don’t think you’ll ever be able to work through all the thoughts because there are just too many and it hurts too bad, you stay quiet.

 It’s not an awkward silence that takes over the living room, but you can tell that Binna and Jade are trying to think of something to say. Jade ends up being the one to interrupt the quiet.

 “Has he reached out to you at all?”

 The unanswered text on your phone started as a temptation, but it’s ended as a little memo that helps put things into perspective. 

 Did you get home okay?

 Jeongguk made his decision and he only sent you that text because he let you leave. 

 He sent you that text after he made it so incredibly clear that he wasn’t going to let you stay in his life.

 Despite you telling him you’d think about things, let him know what you decided in regards to you and him– he really didn’t leave much room for you to do that. He’s hard-headed and he’s extreme and when he makes his mind up about something… it’s not likely anyone will be able to change it. Especially if it has to do with Nari.

 And it’s not like you don’t get it. You do, to some extent at least. 

 Nari is his baby and Nari is his priority. Just like she should be. That’s self-explanatory and easy to understand. If Jeongguk felt you being in his life somehow messed with his priorities and decided it wasn’t going to work out between you two after giving it some thought– it wouldn’t have been easy, but you would have accepted it nonetheless. 

 But part of you believes he didn’t give it much thought at all because one moment he was washing you, taking care of you, kissing you. Making you feel like you were his and he was yours and like he cared. Like he was always going to be there; like he was endless. 

 Then the next he was telling you it was all basically a mistake to him. That he didn’t know if he had the room or the time for you anymore. Like you were an amenity with a timeframe. Something that was worthwhile, until it wasn’t anymore. Something nice that was momentarily useful, something that perhaps made his life better, easier in a way… but something that ultimately wasn’t necessary.  

 The turnaround was too abrupt and too abrasive and too rash for you to accept that it wasn’t impulsive. That he truly thought it through. You think that’s what’s hindering you from moving on. 

 A part of you almost wishes that you could fool yourself into believing he did mull it over. That he simply ‘changed his mind’. Because that’s better than the uncertainty that comes with him cutting you out so heedlessly. 

 If Jeongguk had a change of heart– it means that, at one point, his heart was sure of you; his heart did want you. 

 It’s deceiving, but it hurts less than the uncertainty. 

 The ache that comes with longing for what was is concrete and irrefutable in a bittersweet sense because at least in that case, what you’re yearning for was something that you had; something that was real. 

 You can’t pinpoint the pain that comes with uncertainty. There’s too much room for doubt, too many times you can mistake a ‘what if’ for a ‘what was’. There are too many ways you can spin the past if you’re not certain of it. Too many different outcomes you can craft. There are too many ways that uncertainty can hurt

 Jeongguk’s 180 took place barely within a few hours. Specific changes were instantaneous. Like the quiet unease that shrouded the atmosphere; the quick developing doubt that inevitably tainted both your affections. In all honestly, you could feel the shift as soon as he walked into the playroom after talking to Nari’s mom.

 Dasom.

 The things you feel when you think about her make you feel so ugly. Like your heart is rotten within your core, ruining you from the inside because it’s so easy to blame her and resent her for everything that occurred. Easy to pin the earth-shattering, tectonic shift in your and Jeongguk’s dynamic on her. It’s easy to hate her for the things she said about you, for the thoughts she put into Jeongguk’s head. But deep inside, right next to your rotten heart, there’s something small that’s telling you it’s easiest to hate her because you aren’t her. 

 An achy heaviness levels in your gut and you press your eyes shut tightly, consciously making an effort to not tear up. It still hurts so badly. In a way you don’t even really understand. You’re not sure if it stems from jealousy or insecurity or maybe both. 

 But there is something so excruciatingly painful, something that feels so devastatingly unfair, about Jeongguk and Dasom.

 It’s absurd and it’s stupid to let an ex get to you. You know that and you’re aware that it’s the past and that it’s over between them… but when you think about all of the history? It’s enough to overthink and compare. To wonder ‘what if?’, ask yourself ‘why?’ and ‘does he still?’.  

 Because they loved each other; were in love with each other. They had the sweetest little baby girl together. Dasom will always know Jeongguk in a way that you won’t. She will always know versions of him that you never will. She will always have a part of him and be a part of his life. She will always know him longer than you. No matter what –even if you and Jeongguk had stayed together, fallen in love, and gotten married– she was still there first. In a sense, you won’t ever be able to catch up to her– to them or what they had.

 You almost have to laugh at yourself for thinking like that because it’s so pathetically dramatic and pointless. Because yes, letting an ex get to you is both absurd and stupid. But especially so when you let it get to you after months. 

 Bitterly, you consider that maybe Jeongguk was right. Maybe you were too young for him, and maybe you really weren’t ready for everything that came with him.

 When your thoughts are reeled back in, you tell Jade about Jeongguk’s text you never answered.

 “God what a whore,” Binna groans. “What kind of person asks that after cutting you out of their life?”

 “A man,” Jade reasons.

 It makes you chuckle a small laugh, and the silence that settles this time is a little more comfortable. A couple of minutes pass with the three of you pretending to watch Jade’s show when Binna clears her throat.

 She tries to keep her voice light and casual, acts as if she’s just making conversation. “You’ve been lurking, no?”

 She will be disappointed when you admit that you’ve tried. But she’ll also be pleased to know that you simply can’t.

 “He doesn’t have Instagram.” You shrug your shoulders as if it’s not a big deal and like your recently searched isn’t full of accounts that have some variation of Jeongguk’s name in the user.

 “He probably has Facebook, he’s old,” Jade says absently, eyes glued to the television once again.

 Binna gets a worried look on her face when she can physically see the lightbulb go off in your head. Then her expression shifts into one of tired disapproval. “Thank you for that, Jade.”

 Jade’s reply is simply a preoccupied, half-hearted ‘My bad’.

 But you do not care and your phone is already out. 

 You’re trying to move on, you are. Truly. One peek won’t hurt. Also–

 “He’s not old, he’s only 29,” you say distractedly, waiting for the app to download before the phone is promptly plucked from your hands. “Hey–”

 “Give me that,” Binna interrupts, “If you look him up, you will come up in his ‘people you may know’. I don’t want that for you, and you don’t want that for you. Trust me.”

 With a frowny pout on your face, you settle back into that couch. “Well… I don’t want you coming up in whatever that is either, right?” 

 “You do not need to worry about that because I am a professional and I am crazy. What’s his last name again?”

 Professional and crazy sound like adjectives that are not supposed to go together, but you don’t argue and when she pulls out her own phone, you answer her. 

 Binna’s sleuthing seems to be entertaining enough for Jade to abandon her show, moving from her place at your feet to a seat next to Binna looking over her shoulder. Nervousness keeps you from joining, quietly just waiting for the few moments it takes for Binna to find what she’s looking for. 

 “Ah! Jeon Jeongguk, 30, C–” she gasps, eyes wide as she looks at you, “you didn’t tell us he was a CEO!”

 You shrug. “Didn’t seem important. And I told you already, he’s 29. Not 30.”

 Binna’s brows furrow before she’s looking at her phone again, bringing it close to her face and using her thumbs to zoom in on the profile picture. “Is this not him?”

 “No, that’s him,” Jade confirms, face close to Binna’s. “I’ve seen enough pictures of him in the groupchat that I also see him in my dreams.”

 “Please don’t dream about him,” you say musingly, reaching to snatch the phone from Binna just like she did to you.

 It is in fact your Jeon Jeongguk pictured on the phone. His profile picture is candid, him smiling wide with those puffs under his eyes, probably mid-laugh. But it still seems professional enough, he’s in one of his many expensive suits, with his tie on, and his hair done sleek.

 And you can feel how a small, sad smile comes to rest on your lips. You carefully click on the picture to see when it was posted.

 Just a couple of weeks ago. 

 And the small, sad smile gets even smaller and even sadder. He looks happy enough, and you hope he is. But it stings a little for some reason. 

 Then you remember why you pilfered the phone in the first place.

 Looking over his profile, you see the basic information. His alumn, his job, his hometown. You click the ‘about info’ option below all of that and it’s then that you see his birthday, and that his age is indeed 30. And you feel silly, a little embarrassed, for not knowing. Or maybe forgetting?

 Though, you’re almost positive you didn’t forget. That you wouldn’t have forgotten something like his birthday. That you couldn’t have because Jeongguk was your favorite person. 

 You trade Binna her phone back for yours.

 The photos in your camera roll on his alleged birthday are from what you thought was a random day that Jeongguk asked you to come over.

 It was kinda spontaneous for him. Considering he was someone that usually liked to plan, getting a random phone call from him while you were still at work was out of character. He simply asked if you wanted to come over. Just laze around with him, watch a movie, or something. Stay the night, maybe. He sounded slightly boyish when he asked, like he was trying to mask the hopeful excitement in his voice. You told him yes, of course, but that you wouldn’t be able to come until after work. 

 When you showed up at his, still clad in your work uniform, he was beaming. You barely made it through the door before he was literally giving you the shirt off his back to change into, helping you out of your polo and khakis.

 In the photo you’re looking at, your head is in Jeongguk’s lap and he’s shirtless looking at the tv with his hand over your mouth. You had been purposefully asking too many questions, just like you always did. The picture was taken from below so the angle is a little funny.

 And even though you’re smiling at the memory, the image turns blurry as you start to tear up. Something about it warms your heart while simultaneously breaking it. 

 Apparently, he didn’t want gifts, or anything extravagant. Seeing as he omitted telling you it was the one day of the year that everything was supposed to be about him, the one day he was supposed to be doted on. Jeongguk just wanted to be with you. Just your company was enough for him. Just you were enough for him.

 “He never told me it was his birthday, but he asked me to come over,” you tell your friends, with your thumb swiping through the many pictures you took that day. “Like me just being there was a good enough birthday present or something?”

 Jade can hear the waver in your voice, and she gently says, “Maybe we shouldn’t look at old pics if it’s going to make us sad, hmm?”

 “Maybe we should delete them, hmm?” Binna chirps.

 You hear them but you continue till you get through the whole night and the next morning. The tears are so heavy in your eyes, but you try to laugh, dabbing at your waterline with your sleeve when you say, “I like– really miss him, guys,” before you end up just covering your face with your palms and letting yourself have your moment.

 Jade coos, scooching closer to you, pulling you to her side. She rubs your shoulder soothingly. “I know you do, ___,” she says quietly. 

 Your roommate has really come a long way since the first conversation you had with her about Jeongguk. The other roommate, however, seems like she is regressing. 

 “We have got to get you out of the house and onto another dick. Your vibrator is tired and your pillow probably smells like the ocean because of all the tears it’s soaked up. It probably needs a wash, too.”

 “Binna!” Jade scolds.

 “No, like I’m so serious right now,” Binna defends, “I understand being sad over a breakup, but it’s been months. And over a grown man who lets his literal ex-wife, whom he divorced, still have such a pull on him? Like c’mon. What the fuck is that?”

 “She’s allowed to be sad! And those things you listed make her sadness even more warranted. You were holed up in your room for months too, at one point,” Jade reminds, “But it was over a boyband breaking up.”

 “In hindsight, it was very good for Zayn to leave,” Binna amends before giving you her attention. “Listen I get it, but I just want you to be happy again… You know?”

 When you peek up at her with a sniffle, she looks sad.

 “I don’t want you to get stuck in the sad and the hurt, ___,” she says quietly, “because sometimes when people get stuck in the sad and in the hurt, they can’t like– get unstuck. You know? Nothing gets better. The depression just swallows them and they don’t ever feel better and– I want you to feel better.”

 Binna’s not the most eloquent, but she has the biggest heart. And you know she means well, and despite how stuck in the sad and the hurt you truly are, you know that she does have a point. 

 You have to brood over it for a moment, and you kind of feel like you’re outside of your body when you agree. Like you’re hearing someone else say, “Okay, where are we going?”

 ~~~

 The club lights are too bright and strobing too fast, just asking for someone to seize. Your feet hurt because the heels you’re wearing are too high. You figured the weeks following New Year’s would be less crowded, that everyone would be recovering from blackouts and bad decisions. The sheer number of people around you tells you otherwise. You’re not having a good time. 

 When you tell your roommates as much, their response is handing you a shot. A few shots.

 And since alcohol is essentially magic, with every shot glass that is emptied down your throat, the night grows more enjoyable and less likely to be remembered. The lights turn pretty, and the ache in your feet becomes dull and muted, just like the one in your heart. 

 You’re dancing how a person who doesn’t know how to would. Hips swaying, arms occasionally going above your head before slinking back down and over your body. The bass in the club makes it feel like everything is vibrating and it makes you laugh dumbly, eyes squeezing shut as you giggle to yourself. You know Binna and Jade are close by, but it feels like you’re in your own little world.

 “I feel good,” you yell over the music to no one in particular. Eyes still closed, a loose-lipped smile lingering at the corners of your mouth.

 The warmth of a body can be felt behind you, though it’s not quite pressing against you yet. It doesn’t feel bad, and neither do the fingertips ghosting along the curve of your waist. You press into the touch, the heat, a little more. A chiffon chuckle is puffed over the crown of your head. The tentative fingers at your waist get more firm, their grip trying to steady you.

 “You look good, too,” the body behind you says, lips brushing the shell of your ear. It makes chills prick at your skin.

 You bite your lip to keep from smiling at the sensation, at the words. Your hand goes to cover the bigger one on your waist. You intentionally keep the touch constant when you turn around in their hold. Their palm slides along your body till it’s settling on your lower back just above the swell of your ass.

 When you look up, your reply gets caught in your throat.

 The owner of the warm body behind you is handsome, strikingly so. Tall, strong. Smile dreamy, and eyes dark. He gives you a soft grin accompanied by an encouraging nod, wanting you to say what you can’t seem to get out.

 “Uh–” you sputter with a wince, before clearing your throat, “I– yeah, um… thanks, you too.”

 You can’t hear his laugh over the music, but you can tell he’s amused by the way his chest rumbles, and how his eyes curl. The hand at the base of your spine moves to your hip, squeezing gently.

 His other hand is moving, too, and your track it till it’s tucking some hair behind your ear. You go still and flush when he leans down to your ear again. “I’m Seo-joon,” he tells you.

 Introducing yourself is the automatic reply he gets, and he hums, eyes scanning your face. The hand that tucked your hair trails down your arm until his fingers meet yours. They flirt for a moment before they lace together. His movements seem shy, but they’re actually very calculated. Well practiced. Like he does this a lot. Like he knows exactly how to get what he wants. 

 The realization sobers you some. Not enough to clear all of the drunken fog in your head, but enough to make you vaguely more alert. 

 “I think you’re a… a little too good at this for me, Mr. Seo-joon.” 

 Seo-joon briefly looks surprised, eyes widening like a child who’s been caught in a lie. Then he’s recovering, laughing. “Ah,” he muses, guiding your arms to drape over his shoulders, your hands interlocking behind his neck. His hands do the same around your waist as he pulls you a little closer. “I don’t know, you might be the one that’s too good? Too smart? Read me like an open book.”

 There’s a flutter in your tummy that you haven’t felt in months and it’s exciting. Makes you giddy as you blink up at him sluggishly, eyelids heavy. 

 “Are you not?” you ask him, coquettishly referring to him being easy to read. “Aren’t you here for the usual?”

 He looks up like he’s thinking. Then he’s shrugging, like there’s no point in denying the obvious. Crowding your space, cheek brushing yours as he talks into your ear again, he asks, “And why are you here, ___? The usual, as well?”

 Seo-joon doesn’t move out of your space like the times he did before, instead pulling you into him a bit more, making your space his space too. Lips brush against the corner of your jaw, just below your ear. Teasing, yet sure. 

 “I’m here to forget–” Your hand twines into the hair at the nape of his neck when he nips softly at your earlobe, making you gasp quietly, interrupting yourself. “–about someone.”

 He lets out a smug sound of understanding. “That’s about as ‘usual’ as it gets, ___,” you hear him say, before he purrs confidently, “Let me help you.”

 And when he molds his lips to yours, you expect the kiss to feel as good as the lead-up. 

 You expect the butterflies in your belly to flutter wildly– not go still. You expect the hands roaming over your body to feel rousing– not misplaced, like they aren’t supposed to be there. When you open your mouth to let him lick inside, you expect it to feel right. But it doesn’t. Sure, it doesn’t feel wrong, necessarily. But it doesn’t feel like it should. He doesn’t feel like he should.

 But you want him to. You want Seo-joon to feel right, and you want him to feel good. You want it so badly that you go home with him. 

 ~~~

 The cab ride is nothing but a precursor– something that needs to happen but not something that needs to be remembered. It’s just a soft blur that prequels his soft bed, his soft kisses, his soft pets. 

 Seo-joon is being gentler than he was at the club. 

 Under the hazy hue of the club lights, the strong hands that tugged at the straps of your dress were confident, cunning, audacious, and assertive. Boldly expectant of the outcome he was so sure he would get. 

 Under his sheets, those same hands are… not exactly timid, but ginger with their eagerness. Delicate, imploring, coy, and suggestive; tactfully encouraging, rather than expecting, the outcome that he hopes for. The way his hips brush against yours is unhurried and intentional. The crass, dirty movements from before that were careless and unrefined are long gone. Now he’s patient. Grinding into you slowly, deliberate.

 However, the change in pace, in the scenery, and in his demeanor– none of it makes the kisses taste any sweeter; none of it makes the touches feel any better; none of it makes anything good enough in the effortless way you long for. 

 It’s counterintuitive but the lack of ease, paired with the desire for it, just makes you try harder. Redouble your efforts.

 You press your lips against his in a kiss that’s harder, dig your nails into his shoulders with a grip that’s harder. When you cant your hips up against his just so– you do it harder. He gets a little harder in his pants, and the thoughts in your head get a little harder to ignore. Faking gets harder and pretending does too.

 Seo-joon is smart enough. He’s probably been around enough, too. With experience under his belt, it doesn’t take him long to sense the shift. The way your energy dulls, the slight tension tugging at your frame underneath him. But still, it doesn’t stop him from testing the waters one more time, giving you a few more unsure, assessing kisses. 

 To no avail.

 With furrowed brows, he pulls away. Seo-joon doesn’t look angry, though. Just confused as he braces himself on his forearms, lifting himself just enough to be able to take you in, most of his body weight still resting atop you.

 He clears his throat. “You don’t uh– you don’t really… seem to be– into this? Anymore? Into me?” 

 Your expression probably mirrors his. Confused, and maybe a little lost as you study him. Because he’s handsome. Almost unbelievably so, with his high cheekbones and sharp eyes; his nose and mouth that appear perfectly placed; his smooth, airbrushed skin.

 You should be into him. Superficially at the very least.

 But you just aren’t because even though he is handsome, flawless even, he’s attractive in a very ordinary, classical way. There doesn’t seem to be anything signature about Seo-joon’s features. 

 When he smiled at the club, it was idyllic and exactly symmetrical. His cheeks filled out, but just enough. His teeth –a dentist’s dream– were pristine, perfectly proportioned, and all of them just the right size. So white that they were almost beaming in the dim lights. 

 And even now, when he attempts an uneasy one to shake awkwardness it’s… fine. His plush lips are fine and his straight nose is fine and his even brows are fine and everything about Seo-joon is perfectly fine. 

 But, to you, he’s not really anything special. 

 Surface level, Seo-joon’s perfectly fine. But so are so many other perfectly fine, classically beautiful, ordinary men. There’s nothing that sets him apart. No defining characteristics, nothing about Seo-joon that makes him him. 

 Yet you can’t stop yourself from thinking that even if there were, it wouldn’t matter. 

Because you already know what makes someone special to you. 

 You’re well aware of the distinctive features that make your heart flutter. Like when someone smiles and their bottom lip tugs down just a hint farther on the left side. Or when they get little rounds under their eyes and scrunch their nose when they laugh. When he has things about himself that are slightly imperfect. Like big front teeth or a barely off-center freckle under his bottom lip. Like the deep scar on his cheek that he got from his brother when they were little. Or the faint one by his eyebrow from the piercing he had in college that had to be taken out before it was yanked out by a tiny hand. 

 The man you’re sharing a bed with could be the most uniquely attractive person on earth and it wouldn’t make a difference. It still wouldn’t make him special– not to you. 

 He’s not what you want.

 You hum when you admit it to yourself. 

 “I’m not.”

 Momentarily, Seo-joon looks taken aback by your seemingly rash rethink, but he takes your drunken bluntness in stride. He gives you a forced smile before he hangs his head in an apologetic bow, shifting from on top of you to lay next to you. “I see, I’m sorry if I assumed or overstepped or made you feel like you had to come home with m–”

 Seo-joon sounds guilty, and it surprises you when a hint of guilt starts to bloom in your chest.

 “You didn’t!” you interrupt, “I thought I was into you… or like I should be into you…”

 His eyebrow quirks and he just looks at you.

 “Ah…” you muse awkwardly, scanning the room. 

 It’s so very bachelor. Dark furniture, a big tv mounted on the wall, a little bar cart off to the side next to the mini fridge that’s kinda big to be called ‘mini’. Nothing personal at all that could tell you anything about him, except the boxers on the floor that tells you he prefers Armani. No hint as to what his goals or his hobbies are. 

 Perhaps it's a good thing you didn’t sleep with Seo-joon. Guys like him have the most brutal post-nut clarity and you’re not sure you could take another grown man hurting your feelings. 

 “I just don’t want you to think like– I don’t know? That you did something wrong? Or that you like coerced me into coming h–” 

 “Wait, I didn’t think that–”

 “–I’m the one that should be sorry!” you assure him, “Because I don’t think I actually went out to try and forget someone; I think I was trying to find them?”

 A couple of stilted seconds pass. 

 “In… me?” he asks, like he’s mentally trying to puzzle the pieces together.

 “I guess? Maybe replace them with you? Or like… use you… as a placeholder?” You wince helplessly at your choice of words, unable to stop them before they spill out. 

 Seo-joon’s confusion is replaced by a quick, bright laugh which is followed by a small smile that seems almost pitying. 

 “You’re still young–”

 You physically cannot stop the way you interrupt him with.

 “Please shut the fuck up.”

 The tired words are spat tartly before you can clench your teeth around them. It’s probably a defense mechanism– you’re not quite sure you can handle another grown man being mean to you, but you’re almost very sure that you can’t handle one lecturing you about how young you are, about how much life you still have left to live, about how your youth makes it difficult to know what you really want, about how–

 “Whoa,” he laughs. He’s on his side, his head propped up on his palm. He eyes you for a moment before he tugs the strap of your bra back up, haphazardly covering you again. “Sore spot?” 

 Pulling his sheets up for good measure, you pout. “He was older.”

 Seo-joon makes a noise of understanding. “Older like… older brother’s friends older? Or older like met him at your dad’s work party older?”

 Heat floods the rounds of your cheeks and you look anywhere but at the man next to you. No photos in frames. Not even a dvd collection that could tell you what type of movies he likes.

 “He’s like– dad old,” you murmur, chancing a glance at Seo-joon only to see him pull a queasy-looking face, and then you’re backtracking to defend yourself. “But only like baby-dad old! Not like– teenager-dad old!”

 He looks unconvinced. “How big’s the gap?”

 “7 years?” you try.

 Seo-joon goes from unconvinced to shocked and then to puzzled. “That’s like… nothing? Probably around our gap too?”

 Your hands fly up and you scoff a little as you exasperate, “That’s what I said!”

 He joins in and you both laugh in his bed until the giggles putter out into lazy silence. You’re pulling at a little tuft of lint when he hums.

 “He told you that you were too young?”

 You open your mouth to reply immediately, but then hesitate. 

 Because your age was part of it. Of course, it was, but was it all of it? Was it the root of it?

 “I mean you are; not too young, just… young. But–” Seo-joon grins smugly, giving you a pointed look when he sees you scowl, “–youth isn’t a bad thing. And you’re smart. I meant it when I said that.”

 Rolling your eyes, you say, “We literally just met–”

 “Yeah, and?” he counters, just for the sake of it because he still doesn’t allow a reply. “We only just met and I could already tell that you were smart. Even though I tried, I knew my… methods wouldn’t work on you. You read me like an open book,” he repeats what he said earlier that night, before speaking slowly like he’s spelling something out for you. “and I’m sure I’m not the only one you’re able to read like that?”

 Your scowl intensifies. “What are you getting at?”

 “This boy you’re trying to ‘forget’? ‘Find’?” The hand that’s not supporting him comes up and he makes some air quotes. His tone is a little softer, like maybe he’s trying to be gentle. Or maybe he’s just tired of talking to you. You can’t be sure.

 “I feel like you’re smart enough to know if the whole thing is worth it or not. How long ago was it?”

 “A month or 2… give or take 17 days…” you mumble, avoiding his gaze.

 “Okay. But yeah… that’s a good chunk of time…” he says around a quick yawn. Then he hums thoughtfully to himself. “I feel like you could think back and read the situation a bit more clearly now? Like, reassess it to… you know… I don’t know just figure stuff out…”

 “‘You know, I don’t know’, ‘Just figure stuff out’, ” you mimic dryly, “That’s all the advice you have to offer me when you’ve lived lifetimes longer than me?”

 “Listen, you can’t hate all men because of one man–”

 “Yes, I ca–”

 “Okay but, you don’t even hate that one man? That’s the whole issue?” Seo-joon interrupts. He lilts his tone up in an inquisitive manner, like he wants you to confirm. 

 You refuse and choose to reply with petulant silence.

 “Exactly. C’mon, use that big, smart brain in that pretty, little head of yours,” he encourages, “Look back and just figure stuff out. It might be hard, but not as hard as you think. I feel like time away from what we think we need or want, always puts things into perspective. Distance makes the heart fonder, or–” He pauses for dramatic effect. “It makes the heart indifferent.”

 Not rolling your eyes is a feat, but you manage. “Clearly my heart did not become indifferent if I am laid up with you and still going on about it.”

 Seo-joon hums again, carries on some more. But you’re not paying attention because maybe time didn’t put things into perspective, but his words just did.

 Distance and time make the heart indifferent.

 Jeongguk hasn’t been to your store once since you left his house. 

 You frown, connecting imaginary dots as a little wrinkle sprouts between your brows. “He hasn’t come to see me since he cut things off.”

 Seo-joon pauses mid-sentence, mimes your expression. “Did you expect him to?”

 You pause now. 

 “Um… kinda?” you start. Rolling to your side you copy his position so you can look at him. “I mean, I work at the grocery store he would normally shop at,” you explain, before tacking on, “That’s where we met. He lost his baby and I found her… Or– she found me I guess.”

 A small twinge of pain pricks your heart at the mention of Nari. You wonder if she’s talking, or if she’s at least getting closer. If she still doesn’t keep the sock on her left foot, or if she’s grown out of that nerve-wracking yet endearing little habit of hers. 

 What Dasom said about Nari getting attached comes to mind and you hope the little one is doing well. It hurts a little to think about, but you hope for her sake, that she didn’t get too attached or too sad when you stopped coming around. You hope she forgot you quickly.

 “Anyway,” you say, “Guess that means his heart became indifferent.”

 Giving a half-hearted shrug with a single shoulder, aiming to come off unbothered. Trying to act indifferent yourself, and like your heart didn’t just drop. You blink a couple of times in an attempt to clear the glassiness you know is cloaking your eyes and offer a weak smile.

 Regarding you with a slightly concerned color to his features, Seo-joon chooses to not address the passing mention of a misplaced child or the fact that you’re very close to crying while half-naked in his bed. Decidedly, he says, “I’m not sure if I would call avoidance indifference.”

 You sniffle. “Huh?”

 His eyes narrow and he looks like he’s debating something internally. Then he sighs. “Listen, I’m not trying to encourage you to wait for him or go back to him. Or like… give you false hope–”

 “Gee, thanks–”

 “No really,” he stresses, “because that genuinely could be nothing. Men are a bit dense. They do things that may seem calculated, but in actuality, they’re just daft and it didn’t even cross their mind. But in my opinion,” he continues slowly, a bit hesitantly, “Choosing to not go to the grocery store he –I’m assuming– frequented regularly? Right after a breakup?” He sucks a bit of air in through his teeth before he shakes his head. “Yeah, that seems like a very deliberate choice.”

 “Like indifference would be more–” he continues before pausing briefly to choose the right words, “I picture indifference as more of– him still going to your work, despite the breakup, because he just doesn’t give a fuck.”

 Whatever words you were planning to say get caught in your throat and you cough out a short laugh at Seo-joon’s straightforwardness. 

 He grins a little. “Right? Because that’s what it is– a lack of interest, lack of concern. Like he just doesn’t care one way or the other about you being there because you’re not important enough for him to be affected by you.”

 You know he’s speaking in hypotheticals, but it still sours your expression. Makes your lips pull down at the corners.

 “Personally, if I were him and I was truly indifferent, truly unbothered,” he places his hand on his bare chest, “you being there or not being there wouldn’t be significant enough for me to alter my routine.”

 Your eyes flit quickly over Seo-joon’s torso. His gesture causes the sheet to fall slightly, pooling at the subtle curve of his waist. There’s a faint warmth flooding your cheeks as you swiftly and intently bring your gaze back up. 

 You swallow before replying with a simple, “Ah… yes… that makes perfect sense.”

 Playfully, Seo-joon scowls at you. “You sure you don’t want to fuck?”

 “Yup.”

 “It may help–”

 “Nope, don’t think it will actually.”

 He shrugs, an amused grin still lingering. “Suit yourself–”

 “I feel like your post-nut clarity would hurt my feelings and I’m vulnerable right now.”

 It’s silent for 1, 2, 3 seconds before Seo-joon’s loud laughter echoes in his room. Failing to keep a straight face, he rolls on his back and rests his head on his pillow as he lets himself laugh to his heart’s content. Then he inhales deeply and scrubs a hand over his face and swipes a finger beneath his bottom lashes; catching his breath and regaining his composure and wiping away the wetness under his eyes. 

 A few seconds pass before he’s turning his head to look at you with a quiet smile. It feels a bit too tender, too sincere, and too heartfelt, for what was supposed to be a one-night-stand. 

 “See,” he says softly, “told you you were smart.”

 You just look at him, trying to read him like he’s so sure you can. There doesn’t seem to be any ulterior motives, just him being genuinely kind to you because he wants to be. And for some reason that makes your eyes burn.

 “If it doesn’t hurt too badly to revisit everything that went on with the boy,” Seo-joon begins, interrupting the light hush that settled between the two of you, “I really feel like you’ll be able to see things clearer; read the situation better. Figure stuff out. And then, things will start to fall into place for you. Everything will start to make a little more sense. You’ll know if you’re wasting your time being hung up on him, and if it’s worth your happiness. You’ll know if looking for him is worth the effort, and you’ll be sure that ‘finding’ him is actually what you want after all.”

 You’re definitely going to cry.

 “And when I said you were still young, and that your youth wasn’t a bad thing,” he continues, “I meant that if you decide that you do want to look for him, and you do find him again– you still have enough time to try with him again.”

 With a wobbly bottom lip, you feel your features slowly morph into a scowl.

 It’s self-directed because it’s then that you think about what’s happening and how ridiculous it all seems.

 Because why are you on the tail end of being drunk, half-naked in the bed of a grown man who you met just hours ago? Why are you telling him bits and pieces about the person he was supposed to distract you from? The person that caused you the most delicately painful ache that’s been festering for months? Why are letting this man give you advice? Why are you letting him comfort you? And why does it feel like he’s done a better job of it by just listening to you for the last few hours, than friends you’ve had for years? 

 And why do you feel like you’re going to cry about it?

 The self-directed scowl morphs to a Seo-joon-directed glare.

 “He’s not a boy,” you begin in a voice that shakes just a hint, arguing just to be difficult, “he’s a man with the cutest baby and he’s 30 now and–” The urge to cry cuts you off and you feel the first tear leak from the corner of your eye. 

 Seo-joon’s soft, sincere smile turns slightly sad as he tracks the salty drop. “Hey, don’t cry–”

 “Shut-up,” you spout, your tone somewhere in between short and like you’re begging him to be quiet because it was him speaking that brought you to this state in the first place. 

 A short staring contest ensues.

 “Also– I bet you would’ve been the worst fucking one-night stand,” you add on for good measure. 

 Seo-joon’s ability to keep from laughing is impressive. It’s only for a second that an amused smile overtakes his features– a natural reflex he isn’t able to stop. But it’s barely there at all before he’s schooling his features into something that he hopes looks receptive, like he’s taking in what you’re saying, absorbing it like it’s Gospel. 

 But he’s also a curious motherfucker, and he wants to know why you think that. 

 “That is baseless and an unfounded assumption,” he defends himself, because he may be receptive, but he is also a damn good one-night stand. “With that being said, please tell me why you feel that way.”

 “Because I’m crying! And it’s because of you! You and your making of us bare our fucking souls during pillowtalk! Who does that?!” 

 It’s huffy and snippy and you both know you’re being mean just for the sake of it. 

 With lips pressed into a tight, smile-proof line, Seo-joon nods easily; agreeable and understanding.

 He knows you’re fragile and that you’re tired– so he chooses not to voice how he considers what you talked about very surface level. How he thinks you may be more hurt and affected by whatever took place between you and this guy than you even realize yet. How he feels like you still have so much to work through, so much to learn.

 Seo-joon lets you win and reminds himself that, right now, it’s not his job to help you soothe the things that hurt or fix the things that are broken. Reminds himself that you’re smart enough to figure stuff out on your own.  

 There’s a brief lull in the conversation that’s not as awkward or tense as it probably should be.

 You sniffle. Then you hiccup.

 And Seo-joon laughs, loud and brash and fond as he leans towards you. He gives you what feels like a platonic kiss on your forehead. 

 “Can I get your number?”

 ~~~

 It’s an early Thursday morning in late January and Jeongguk is feeling troubled. Plagued, if you will, as he towels off after his morning shower. Plagued with the ever-growing, ever-evolving urge to check up on you. To see how you’re doing.

 Lurking, as Taehyung calls it, doesn’t happen all that often. Jeongguk makes a point to not let himself do it daily. Or even weekly. It was his New Year’s resolution, in fact. That being said, it’s been exactly 12 days since he’s used his friend’s 8-year-old son’s instagram account to see what you’ve been up to.

 Typically, he can talk himself out of the sudden notion. Put it off until he forgets, or just doesn’t feel he needs to so badly anymore. Currently, however, he’s blaming his inability to nix the restlessness in his fingertips on the fact that he hasn’t had Nari around to keep him busy. It’s been a long week.

 Because Jeonggk’s been doing his best to keep himself from opening your page for what feels like days. Resisting the pesky pull even though he doubts you’ve even posted. Out of the times he’s given in over the last few weeks, he thinks you’ve posted maybe once. And it was just a picture of some clouds at that– vaguely heart-shaped, wispy, white puffs against sky-blue. The caption was just two emojis, the wind-face lady next to the white heart. 

 So frankly, even though he’s not exactly keen on how strong and itchy the urge to check on you is– he’s also not exactly sure why he’s fighting it. Not when merely scratching it isn’t going to change anything. 

 After shrugging on his work blazer, Jeongguk admits defeat– his inner demons having won yet again. He resigns to apathetic, easily accepted complacency as he swipes through the pages on his home screen till he gets to the very last one that houses the small, sunset-colored camera app. He figures he should probably just get it over with.  

 As he touches the application open, Jeongguk reasons that he’s just been putting off the inevitable– that he knows an itch can’t be ignored and that it won’t be quelled until it’s scratched or soothed. Tells himself that a quick peek before heading out for work won’t matter.

 As he clicks on the mini magnifying glass at the bottom of the screen, Jeongguk reminds himself of lurking’s insignificance. Thinks back to all the times he’s done it before and how it never made a difference. 

 As he sorts through the random selection of 8-year-old boy searches till he finds your user in the mix, he reassures himself that checking on you won’t do anything but alleviate the nagging in the back of his head and the tingling in his fingertips. 

 As he taps your profile, he convinces himself that lurking will be relieving and nothing more.

 As Jeongguk sees that you have posted, he realizes that this time, lurking does matter and that he is so very stupid for assuming it would bring him relief.

 The picture is blurry, not unlike a handful of others he’s seen on your feed. 

 But the setting captured is new. The pink-tinted lighting isn’t familiar, and neither is the purple and blue hues. The crowd you captured is much more… abundant than what he’s become accustomed to seeing when he pulls up your page. 

 Jeongguk scans the photo for just a bit longer and then swipes to the next one in the post. This one is the final stupid nail in the coffin of Jeongguk’s stupid demise. The couple shot glasses grouped together in blurry cheers are all the confirmation he needs to know exactly where you were. His eyes flick to your caption, and then his features pull into a pensive frown with furrowed brows.

 BUT FOUR DRINKS IM WASTED !! 

 Jeongguk taps open the comments.

 flickthebinna: you’ve had exactly two (2) shots

ocstagram: i am Wasted !! 🤬

jadedjade: can u let her be wasted and focus on getting our drinks @flickthebinna 🤨

 He can’t help but chuckle at your and your friends’ interactions, but as he closes the app he catches himself doing a certain habit of his. The little tick where he tilts his head and juts his jaw out quickly. His telltale sign of irritation.

 Irritated with himself, of course. Partly because of the obvious. The spying (from a child’s social media account nonetheless), the moping that he’s been doing for months, the procrastinating and avoiding that’s been going on for almost just as long. 

 But also because he feels so embarrassingly immature for allowing what he finds out from the spying to affect him so deeply. It seems so very juvenile to get this worked up over an instagram post. 

 He’s irritated at the emotional rush and the way his hands are shaking. At the way his mind is jumping to conclusions and conjuring up all sorts of sour scenarios. He’s irritated with himself for the way unwarranted jealousy burns in his chest. 

 The irritation stews; sits in the passenger seat as he makes the drive to work– right next to the sudden instinct to act on a restless whim. The irritation festers; accompanies the worsening impulsive urge that makes it hard to think and ultimately pushes him to make a wrong turn. 

 The irritation is only sated when he pulls up to a curb and his car comes to a stop. 

 Jeongguk’s irritated with himself for a lot of things. But mostly because it took him so long to get here.

 ~~~

 He’s not sure why he anticipated you answering the door. Karma wouldn’t be so kind, and he wouldn’t be so lucky. Obviously.

 “And why the fuck are you here?” This is how Binna greets him, after taking him in with a groggy, borderline bored stare. 

 With a wince, Jeongguk tries, “Hi Binna–”

 “Don’t you have a job?” she interrupts, the volume of her tone increasing with every word. “Aren’t you so busy? So busy, in fact, that it’s so hard to find the time for–”

 He opens his mouth to try and get a word in but stops abruptly. So does Binna when she feels a soft hand on her shoulder, and hears a grumpy ‘Why are you being so loud?’.

 Right in front of him, you’re still half-asleep. Drowsily using the sleeve of the oversized sweatshirt you’re wearing to rub over your face tiredly. Seeing as he decided to show up at a little past 8 in the morning.  

 After a few slow, dreamy blinks, you direct your attention to Jeongguk and he feels like he can’t breathe.

 It’s unconscious, how his lips turn up a smidge when he really sees you for the first time in what feels like forever. When he sees the warmth that lives inside of you color your skin with the softest, natural flush. 

 Jeongguk is still so jealous. 

 He watches you and he studies you. Now that he’s not relying on his memories or the pictures in his camera roll or the ones on your socials– he’s trying to pick out what’s the still same; how you’ve changed. Your hair is a bit longer, a shade or two darker as well. Maybe it’s the big hoodie you’ve got on, but you look smaller than he remembers. In his chest, he feels his heart tug but he can’t dwell on it too much as he refocuses on your features beginning to stir. 

 They shift from dazedly blank to shocked, as if your still-sleepy brain has just now registered him being there, and the smallest gasp sounds from your lips. Then an expression that’s a cross between confused and angry takes the place of prior surprise. The doe-ish look becomes sharp and stern; your narrowed eyes are framed above by scrunched brows and below by shadowy circles. Your mouth goes from slack with your plush lips barely parted, to pouty and pursed in a deep frown.

 Jeongguk knows he should say something. 

 Explain. 

 Say sorry. 

 Ask for forgiveness. 

 But he feels mute, like his heart is stuck in his throat. Like he can’t do anything but stand there and hope you show him a little bit of undeserved grace. That you give him a moment, and then another, to get himself together. Even though he’s had too many moments already to do exactly that.

 In the few seconds that go by you shoo your roommate, and after she’s gone, your face changes once again. Softening just enough to not be so harsh. You stand in your doorway as he flounders and you watch with intent, almost curious, anticipation. And Jeongguk doesn’t want to be too optimistic– but he thinks there might be a hint of relief, an inkling of eager, hopeful expectation hiding in the way you’re looking at him. 

 As if you’ve been waiting for him; wanting him– and now he’s finally here; almost yours. 

 He’s so caught up in that –the minute chance of reconciliation that he only thinks he caught a glimpse of– that he doesn’t get out of his head until the movement of your shoulders slumping, and your chest deflating rips him out of it. 

 Jeongguk would prefer the air your demeanor carried just moments ago. The quiet, masked hopefulness you gave off before you made yourself smaller and breathed that tiny, dejected sigh. God, he would even take the calloused, puzzled hostility you had when you first realized it was him in standing in your doorway. Anything over how you look currently.

 Definitely disappointed, maybe a little bit embarrassed, and just so sad. 

 It’s what he expected, at least to some extent. He’s foolish, but he can only fool himself so much. There’s a limit on how many fantasies of effortless forgiveness he can have before he has to face reality. 

 Jeongguk knew you would be sad, and he knew you would be disappointed. He was ready to take responsibility for the role he played because he was so sure that it would be his fault.

 But what makes how you’re looking at him right now so awful, so unbearable– is that you’re looking at him like it has nothing to do with him. 

 You don’t look disappointed in him. You don’t look sad because of him. 

 It looks internal, so personal. 

 Like you’re sad because you naively allowed yourself to hope– let it glimmer, shining so obvious in your eyes. Only for the brightness to dim, snuffed out by the foolishness that so often goes hand in hand with naivety. 

 Like you’re sad because as soon as you saw him, you had expectations– preconceived notions about how it would go when he came back, how he would act. Only to learn that with enough preconceived notions, you can turn expectations into daydreams.

 Maybe that’s why you look a little embarrassed, too. Because you so quickly let yourself hope, like a child who hasn’t learned from their mistakes. Because you immediately conjured up expectation-disguised daydreams of Jeongguk. Still, after all this time. After everything he’s done, you still expected good from him. 

 You look like you’re disappointed in yourself, not him, because you should have known better.

 He doesn’t find his voice until you’re shaking your head like he’s let you down. Until you’re turning away from him and edging the door closed.

 “I’m sorry!”

 Jeongguk blurts the words out, and he didn’t say much but his chest is heaving and he’s got this frantic way about him and a panicky feeling flooding his veins. When you look up, surprise flashes across your face, but it’s gone in an instant and is replaced by incredulous anger. Like you can’t believe him. 

 Despite your trying to stand your ground and hold his gaze, a gleam still shines in your eyes.

 “I am,” he assures breathlessly, his eyes darting across your face, “I’m so sorry, ___. And–”

 When Jeongguk tells you he misses you, he notices how you almost flinch. How your eyes snap shut tightly –like you can feel his words, but still aren’t sure if they’re real or if they’re true; like you’re scared of finding out– and the heavy tears pooling on your lashline finally spill over. 

 As the salty droplets drip down the apples of your cheeks, Jeongguk feels an ache that hurts so badly that it’s visceral. Like if he could crack open his chest, he could get a hand on the it and just rip the pain out and make it go away. If only that was the case. 

 “I–” you start, but your voice gives out. You clear your throat with a small cough, and talk to the ground because it’s easier to talk to than him. “Maybe we’re better like this, Gguk.”

 Jeongguk’s heart drops, and it’s a struggle to get out even just a whispered a plea of your name.

 When you speak up this time, you force your eyes to meet his. Your brows are upturned and your bottom lip quivers for just a second before you take a deep, self-soothing, breath and school your features into a facade of indifference and resolve. 

 “I hope Nari’s been okay. And you. I hope you’ve been okay, too.”

 Jeongguk’s brows furrow. He’s confused but gives you an unsteady nod. “She– she’s good, yeah.”

 You scan his face, trying to keep your own expression neutral. But how he only mentions Nari and not himself doesn’t evade you. A faint heartache murmurs in your chest, but you mimic his nod. “That’s good. I’m glad–”

 “What about you? Have you been okay?”

 Jeongguk’s words come out overhasty and too eager. But after such a long time of replaying old dialogues in his head– talking to you just feels so nice. He doesn’t want to stop, even if the conversation feels stilted and trivial. He’s still going to hang on to every little marginal thing you say, and he’s still going to do his best to keep the empty words flowing between you.

 He doesn’t realize he’s holding his breath while he awaits your answer. Not until he hears you say, “Yeah, I’m happy, I think” and the air inside his lungs vacates. Making room for a thick cloud of melancholy that isn’t surprising, but still makes it hard to breathe all the same. 

 Guilt mingles with the suffocating hurt because you being happy shouldn’t make him sad.  

 But then you smile and Jeongguk responds with a frown and a skeptical shake of his head. 

 Because the smile– it’s so fake, so unconvincingly artificial and staged that when it turns your eyes to half moons and causes their corners to crinkle– it also forces a fresh wave of tears to tumble down your cry-flushed cheeks. 

 He doesn’t believe you, but that’s no surprise. You’ve never been a good liar.

 A dim, defeated laugh putters from your lips. Trying to portray nonchalance, you give him a weak, half-hearted shrug, like you know you’ve been caught but it can’t be helped.

 He knows it hurts you to dismiss him. He can hear it in your shaky, wispy tone when you say, “Take care, Gguk.”

 Take care Gguk.

 Jeongguk knows it’s a ‘goodbye’. A goodbye that he’s having trouble processing. 

  It feels like a lifetime, but really it’s only a few seconds that Jeongguk stands there trying to make sense of your words. It’s only a few more before the door closes on him. 

 Jeongguk couldn’t process the goodbye, but the telltale click of the door locking somehow makes perfect sense.

 ~~~

 Like you are the starlet of your very own coming of age, lifetime, hallmark romance drama– you don’t let yourself cry until your back is pressed against the closed door. Then you cover your mouth to keep quiet as you slide down the wood.

 The moment is short-lived. 

 “Where’s Jeongguk?”

 The voice seemingly comes from nowhere, and you jump slightly before swearing and directing your puffy, bloodshot eyes at your roommates. They both have their head peeking out from behind the kitchen wall. Nosy.

 “What do you mean ‘where’s Jeongguk?’” you groan, knocking your head back against the wood.

 Binna and Jade exchange a look. 

 “Are you guys like… not gonna… talk?”

 You slow blink at them a single time.

 An awkward quiet permeates the pumpkin-spice-scented air of your shared home. It’s not even Fall anymore. 

 “Well,” Binna starts, and then cuts herself off like she spoke before she knew what she wanted to say. She elbows your other housemate. “Jade?”

 Jade gives you an instinctive, reactionary smile that’s far too big. “I mean… communication is key… right? And that’s mainly what was lacking before? Talking now could give you the oppurtunity to say all the things you’ve been wanting to. And maybe he can explain his side–”

 Binna raises a hand to cut her off, “Too much credit, he is still a man.”

 “Fair but–”

 The two bicker for a bit before looking at you again.

 “Wait, did you not want to work things out?” 

 You roll your eyes. “Of course I wanted to.”

 “Of course you did,” Jade agrees easily. 

 “Of course you did,” Binna mimics before groaning and asking, “So why the hell is he not here, and why the hell are you not talking and ‘working things out’?” 

 Crossing your arms, your posture becomes defensive. “Wouldn’t that be too easy? Like he shows up at my door after all these months of virtual silence and I just let him in? Aren’t I supposed to make him grovel and cry and beg?” 

 “You have to let the man speak for him to be able to grovel and cry and beg, I’m afraid…” Binna informs.

 The narrowing of your eyes is the simple response she gets. Only because Jade speaks up before you can.

 “You know…” Jades starts, then ponders momentarily. “If it was you that showed up at his house out of the blue at 8 in the morning on a weekday? Then yeah,” she nods to herself, “I would say that it was too easy for him. But he came back to you. And just talking to him?” she shakes her head, “That’s not forgiving him. He still has a lot of work to do– and you should make him prove himself. Prove that he’s grown and changed,” Jade says before she gives you a gentle smile. “But him knocking on the door was also him taking the first step.”

 He came back to you.

 It’s what you wanted. But now that it’s happening, you have no clue what to do next. 

 You don’t know what to say. Are you supposed to lie and tell him you’re thankful that he pushed you away; that it helped you realize that he was right? That you are too young? That you’re happier without him, better off being free like he wanted you to be? 

 Or do you tell him the truth? Do you tell him about how hard it was without him? About how painful it was to go from having so much of him, all of the time– to not having none of him at all, ever? Do you come clean about how hollow and lost being alone made you feel? Do you tell him about how much it hurt every time you thought about how all it took was a few words from his ex– and you were gone; cut out so easily and carelessly? Do you admit that it still hurts to remember?

 You don’t know what to do. Do you resist the fight you’re expected to make him put up? Or do you not fight it much at all and welcome him with a second chance and a fresh start? Do you pretend like you didn’t miss him? Like you didn’t fantasize about him coming back? That you didn’t look for pieces of him everywhere you went; in everybody you met? 

 You don’t know how to feel. Happy because he came to you? Sad that it took so long? Scared because him coming back is just another chance for him to leave again?

 You were already crying, but the trickle of tears grows steadier. The sleeve of your sweatshirt is swiped angrily at your eyes, the light grey material dampened a few shades darker. 

 “Bro,” you cry, “I can’t even look at him without crying, I’m not gonna be able to talk to him. It hurts too bad.”

 Jade looks down at you, gives you a pity pout. “If it’s any consolation, I think he will cry too.”

 Binna agrees with a sympathetic nod of her head. “He’s probably hurting just like you, but it’s what he deserves.

 “___,” Jades speaks up again, “It doesn’t have to be so– painstaking. Like you don’t have to drive yourself mad thinking about what you should do. Just do what you want to do. If you want to talk to him, then talk to him.” She shrugs like it’s really that simple.

 And maybe it is. 

 ~~~

 It definitely isn’t.

 Because if it was, you would not have opened with, quote, ‘I let you put your finger in my ass’, unquote. 

 And Jeongguk wouldn’t have replied with a slow, painfully dumb sounding: ‘I– yes… I remember…?’

 You don’t even really know how it happened. 

 One second you’re hit with a burst of inspired adrenaline and then the next you’re knocking the wind out of both you and Jeongguk by barreling into his chest. The collision must have knocked the sense out of you, too. It’s the only explanation for your behavior. 

 All the same, the blame can’t be entirely yours– Jeongguk has to take some of it. He was standing directly outside of your door, after all. He claims he was working up the courage to knock again but that’s beside the point.

 You keep your thoughts to yourself, as you pretend not to catch the way that he rolls his lips between his teeth to keep a smile off his face when you lead him into your room and slyly try to kick a few things under your bed. A stuffed animal, a bra. A few too many socks.

 It’s a stupid attempt to make your space look a little more tidy and less like you’ve been rotting in it for the last few months. The room’s not too messy by any means; definitely not unkempt enough for you to feel embarrassed or like you need to straighten it up to impress him. But you hope he chalks it up to your nerves getting the best of you.

 He’s nervous, too. If how awkward he’s being is anything to go by. 

 Just standing at the foot of your bed with his hands in his pockets while you situate yourself in front of your headboard. He doesn’t take a seat until you pat the mattress a little, letting him know it’s okay and that you want him to. 

 There’s a quiet hush that fills the space. It’s slightly tense, but it’s not entirely uncomfortable; stilted but somehow familiar. 

 You’re sitting with one leg dangling and a pillow in your lap. It’s hugged to your chest. Perhaps a make-shift shield to put something between you and Jeongguk. Fiddling with a loose pillowcase string helps you avoid eye contact by making you look occupied.

 Jeongguk’s sat before you, stiff and looking down at the floor between his feet. Similarly evading your gaze just like you’re doing with his. He’s clenching and unclenching his hands, rubbing his palms restlessly over the material of his slacks. 

 Thinking back, Jeongguk feels like he did so much of the talking that night in his living room. Probably too much, if he’s being honest. He feels he never really gave you the time to say your side or a proper chance to explain yourself. 

 So this time, he wants to let you do most of the talking. Let you be the one to initiate, at the very least. He wants to give you all the time you need to start the discussion how and when you want, with what you want and feel has precedence.

 Jeongguk stays patient right up until you say in a huff, “Well say something, I’m obviously not good at this.”

 His lips twitch at your stubborn, slightly irritated tone. 

 “You’re the one that showed up at my house when I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to be at work, so,” you wave your hand at him, indicating you want him to get on with it. “Must have something important to say.”  

 The small laugh he allows himself is barely a chuckle, but it tumbles from his lips before he can stop it. Blames it on instinct and the simple fact that he just misses you. 

 “It is important,” he confirms, giving into your bait and starting the conversation for you. He considers staying quiet, getting another little reaction out of you, but he reminds himself that this isn’t the time for that. If he plays his cards right, maybe then he’ll be able to joke with you. But as of now, that’s not his place anymore.

 Shifting to face you a little more, so that when he says, “I wanted to apologize to you, ___,” you have his full attention.

 When he speaks, you don’t look at him. Instead, you only give him the faintest nod with your eyes cast down. Still fixed on the pillow in your lap. But Jeongguk notices how your lashes flutter quickly before you press your eyelids together tightly; just like you did earlier when he said that he missed you. 

 Your shoulders lift when you take a deep inhale, and your face is more or less neutral when your eyes meet his. 

 “It’s been months,” you tell him. 

 As if he doesn’t know. As if he hasn’t been driving himself mad day in and day out trying to muster up the courage to do precisely this; as if time doing what time does hasn’t been the bane of his existence. Because with each passing day, he knew he was that much closer to going from ‘it’s been so long’ to ‘it’s been too long’. He’s all too aware of just how long it’s been. 

 Regardless, he doesn’t want to give you excuses; choosing to be easily agreeable. He offers a small tilt of his head as acknowledgment. 

 “Why now?” you question him.

 Jeongguk tries to keep the sadness off of his face when he hears how you sound. 

 The tone of your voice is unsure; hurt. But the pain is elusive. Only heard when your subtle heartache peeks through the veil of composure you’re trying to hide behind.

 While he racks his mind for a worthy explanation, his eyes scan yours. Overflowing with so many different emotions and so expressive just like he remembers. 

 “I wish–” he begins, “I wish that I could tell you that I’ve been working toward this for ages and that I thought through all the steps and knew exactly what I wanted to say to you…” He gives a small self-deprecating chuckle, “But I can’t tell you that. After earlier, it’s clear that I didn’t have any idea or plan,” he offers you his bared palms. “I wish I had a good reason for ‘why now’, but I don’t.”

 Your brows furrow with affronted confusion. Jeongguk speaks up before you can.

 “That’s not to say that I haven’t been thinking about this since you left–”

 “I didn’t leave, you got rid of me–”

 The correction is hissed before you snap your mouth shut like you didn’t mean to say it. But you don’t take the words back and Jeongguk can’t control his expression this time. His face falls and he sighs as he looks down at the pattern on his pants. 

 “I’ve been thinking about this since I told you to leave,” he tries again, slowly. When you don’t comment again after a small pause, he continues, “but I wasn’t actively figuring out how to do it. I’ve come to learn that plans are essentially useless, so planning out what to say to you seemed pointless. In hindsight, it just made me look stupid,” he muses.

 “Honestly, having you on a constant loop in my mind wasn’t intentional; I didn’t want that,” Jeongguk admits. But he doesn’t even chance a glance, not keen to see your worsening scowl. “Remembering you just made me so miserable? Like, thinking about you all the time made me miss you all the time. And missing you made me so fucking sad– like the kind of sad you can feel? Like it hurt to think about you. But you never left my head, so the hurt never went away…”

 Jeongguk’s words slowly come to halt, his cheeks reddening to a bright cherry when he realizes that he’s rambling. As he’s mentally trying to dull his blush to something more faint and less conspicuous, he notes that your expression changed. You still look a bit angry, but now, there’s a pastel hue. A soft, muted sadness toning down the harshness. 

 He stumbles a little when he says, “I– Truthfully– I guess the–” Then he takes a quick, staccato breath mid-sentence to get himself together. “I guess the most truthful explanation for why I took so long is… avoidance? And guilt? Fear?” 

 When he frustratedly combs a hand through his hair, he pretends not to notice how it’s shaking. And he’s grateful that you don’t mention it when you track his movement. 

 The conversation gets stuck in a momentary limbo while Jeongguk thinks about what he said. It’s the truth. He was scared before– it’s what got him in this mess and it’s what kept him away for weeks too long. But he’s still scared. Despite getting the most intimidating part over with –actually coming to you after finally working up the nerve to– the fear of fucking up still hasn’t waned. 

 He’s still just as scared as he was. 

 Scared of saying the wrong thing. Of not being able to put what he feels into the right words. Of not being able to convey how truly fucking sorry he is for hurting you, how much he regrets it. He’s scared of hurting you again. Scared of you not forgiving him for the first time he did. 

 He is still just as scared of lying in the bed that he made.

 Jeongguk digs his fingertips into his thighs and his nails are dull, but he does it hard enough for a minute pang of discomfort to still be felt. He makes himself puff out a lame chuckle. It sounds strained and resembles a scoff more than anything, but he’s trying to lighten the mood; make the air in the room lighter and easier to breathe. 

 “I’m sorry,” he says on the tail end of the scoffing chuckle, shaking his head lightly. His voice has a light waver, shaky due to his nerves. “I– I’m just–”

 When he feels your small hand settle over the one he has working into his leg, his head whips up quickly and a reactive reflex almost has him pulling his hand away.

 But he stops himself before, and he’s so happy he does. Because when the initial shock wears off, your touch feels good. Familiar and comforting. He’s happy he catches himself because your touch feels nice and when he looks up from it, he gets to see you. 

 It’s like you stopped hiding and came out from behind that veil. Or maybe it’s an accident and you just forgot to keep it up. Either way, it doesn’t matter because he gets to see you watching him so artlessly, so openly honest. With a look that feels like a reminder. 

 A reminder that your heart has always been so soft, so sweet– that it still is. Softer than the hand you have settled gently over his and sweeter than its touch when you coax his own into being gentle, too, but with himself. A reminder that you’ve always been soft, sweet– that you still are. You look at him –softly; sweetly– like you’re reminding him that you’re still you. 

 It makes his eyes water and he has to look away. The thin, pinstripes on his slacks blur together, blending into thick lines as unshed tears muddle his vision.

 “It’s okay, you can–” he hears you tell him, starting hushedly. You sound hesitant, like you’re not sure if you want to finish. “I… want to know what you’re trying to say. So– you can take your time... I’ll wait for you.” 

 And if someone asked Jeongguk to describe the ache that fills his chest at your words– he would tell them that it hurts like he imagines the kindest, most tender, undeserved compassion would.

 “It took me so long because I was a coward, ___,” he says quietly. But the word is spat from his mouth like something foul. “I was so scared of feeling the hurt and facing the guilt that came when I thought about you; what I did to you–” Shame runs through his veins and he shakes his head at how spineless he was– unable to face the consequences of his own actions. It’s humiliating to remember. 

 He’s still talking down to his lap when he admits, “I– just avoided it altogether. I was so busy trying to keep it away that I didn’t give much thought to owning up to everything. I didn’t even know where to begin or how to go about fixing things with you.” 

 Jeongguk’s not crying yet. With that being said, his vision is still bleary and his eyes are red-rimmed from fighting the stubborn tears. He turns the hand he still has underneath yours palm-up. Covers yours with his other on top. Your tiny hand sandwiched between his big ones. He tilts his head back, blinks the wet in his eyes away.

 “I wanted to so badly, though,” he tells you, bringing himself to look at you, “To fix things with you. To just try with you. It took me way too long to understand something that should have been common sense: That things don’t always happen the way you plan for them to; That pieces don’t just fall into place just because you want them to. If I want something… It takes effort to make it happen. I have to work for it and try my best to put the pieces where they belong.”

 Jeongguk gives you a small smile and your hand a little squeeze. “I needed someone’s help to figure some things out,” he rolls his eyes playfully, almost fondly exasperated by the memory. “Like how to start altering the way I think and how to stop with all the wallowing and self-commiseration. How to stomach self-reflection. But when it finally clicked and I really got it? Fixing things with you was the only thing I wanted to do.” 

 There’s a tiny flicker of something coming back. A sanguine glimmer replaces the chagrin in Jeongguk’s eyes and you try to mirror it, reflect it back to him. Because the things he’s saying all sound so good. Perfect and promising and like everything you could have hoped for. 

 But when he says the thing about needing someone’s help? Anything he said before gets repressed. Unclear and hard to recall, as if his words are stuck inside a wayward memory. Anything he says after is indistinct. Muffled and hard to hear, as if there’s water stuck inside your ears. Similar to the rot that’s stuck inside your heart; ugly and hard to get rid of. 

 Such a gross, sickly feeling suddenly comes over you. 

 It takes so much effort to swallow it down. The green-washed insecurity that’s wanting to crawl up your throat and out your mouth. Masquerading as untrusting accusations that will make you seem paranoid. Heartsick questions that will leave you too vulnerable. 

 Who was it? Was it her? Was Dasom the one who helped you?

 Of course, she’s going to be a sore spot and you know that. But the thoughts fluster you and catch you a little off guard because it’s not like you to think like that. 

 It’s never been like you to be paranoid. To feel so self-conscious and easily threatened. You’ve never been the type to chastise. To interrogate, or pry. To accuse, or assume. 

 The doubt came from out of nowhere– crept its way into your head during a brief lapse of emotional awareness and into your heart when it erringly opened and was left unguarded. At first, quieting the intrusive thoughts and dispelling the negative feelings was a challenge. But in the end, you managed and it was fleeting and passed quickly.  

 Shaking the residual embarrassment that follows the bad thoughts and emotions, is much more difficult. 

 Unlike the momentary doubt, the sudden flash of insecurity that it comes with is so intense that it lingers, so strong that it fogs your head. It distractingly hangs out in the back of your mind making it hard to focus.

 It takes a few moments longer before you’re able to suppress it and push it down, down, down. Down far enough that you’ll be able to forget about it. At least for a short while, you’ll be able to convince yourself that the feelings won’t come back because it’s just not like you. 

 Wanting to omit it altogether, you gather your composure and fully give Jeongguk your attention again. You give him a small but genuine smile and wiggle your fingers that are still between his hands. 

 He smiles back softly, while you sit quietly. You’re working to piece together the things he said while you were lost in your head, trying to come up with a decent response. 

 “I was scared too,” you reveal quietly, “The whole time I was scared.” 

 “Will you tell me what you were scared of?”

 “There were so many things, Gguk.” You don’t tell him that there still are. Jeongguk nods attentively. You gingerly untangle your hand from his, catching his eyes before looking around your room. 

 “The finger thing was a really bad example,” you begin trying to explain. You shake your head with a sheepish smile, embarrassed and horrified at your past self. “and it wasn’t the actual act. It was more of what it meant that was scary for me? Like the fact that I let you do something that I always swore I would never let anyone do? Ever.”

 Laughing lightly, you think back on all of the times that your friends would make jokes. How they always told you that there would be a time that you would be horny enough to let it happen. The times when they had more class and said it was fine if you never wanted to and never did, but that they still thought you would end up giving in one day. For the right person, you would. 

 But you always remained adamant– so sure that nobody would ever make the act appealing enough, that nobody would ever make you feel comfortable enough with them for you to allow them to touch you like that or see you like that. 

 “But then I met you.”

 Jeongguk’s brows furrow slightly, like he doesn’t quite understand. But he just stays quiet and nods again, waiting for you to continue. And honestly, you can’t blame him. Anal should never be such a serious topic or something that feels like such a pivotal point in a relationship. You certainly wish that it wasn’t. 

 But alas.

 “All it took was a couple of months… Just a few soft touches and some dreamy words and I was putty in your hands.” Your hands that are folded lightly in your lap open up to show your palms before they squeeze shut into tight fists. “I feel like I would’ve done anything for you; anything you asked me to.”

 His features fall, and the expression he wears is laced with so much guilt. “Wait– Did I… make you feel like you had to do certain things?”

 You can’t help but smile at his concern as you shake your head sadly. “No, no… nothing like that– I always wanted to.”

 Jeongguk frowns, not certain of how truthful you’re being.

 Promising him that you’re not lying, you elaborate. “That’s part of why it was scary for me, I think. There was just something about you that made me so…I don’t know, willing? So yours?”

 The admission makes pesky pinpricks of tears sting the backs of your eyes. “And I was. I was so yours the whole time even though you weren’t mine–”

 “I was–” Jeongguk chimes softly. Interrupting, if only for the sake of trying to convince you.

 “Not really,” you argue. The tone you use comes across as somewhat detached. Like you’re just stating a fact. 

 Using the silence that nestles between you as an opportunity to think, you consider what you’re wanting to tell him. How vulnerable you’re willing to get. Your mouth opens before you feel like you’ve even made your decision.

 “I knew you liked me,” you acknowledge because you don’t want to be unfair, “but part of me always wondered: ‘how much does he?’ and ‘for how long will he?’. I was already scared that I was just a phase for you. Before Dasom ever said it.”

 Jeongguk tenses just a touch at the mention of his ex and you pretend not to notice, continuing with, “So when she said that I was just something you needed to get out of your system and you didn’t defend me? God, Jeongguk,” you get out, eyes squeezing shut. Wincing at the ghost of pain the memory brings back. “That hurt so much.”

 Despite your wanting to look him in the eye and come off strong while you relay how his actions made you feel; it’s impossible. Despite wanting to seem as though you’ve healed and grown and matured and like it just doesn’t hurt so bad anymore; you can’t face him.

 “And then everything happened so quickly?” you continue before he can get a word in, your words coming out rushed and frantic, “It felt like you didn’t even think about it, and like it was just so easy for you to let me go? Like I really was nothing just like she said–”

 He can’t stop himself from reaching out and quieting you when he hears the way your voice breaks. Jeongguk doesn’t want you to cry, not sure he could handle it if you did. Your hands are in your lap still, clenched together, so he rests a palm on your knee. 

 “___,” he says gently, “I need you to believe me when I tell you that none of that is true.”

 You keep talking like you don’t hear him.

 “It almost seemed like you were already over it, bored of me. And her saying those things was a convenient way to– ” you shake your head before sighing. “I was always scared that you’d end up getting tired of me, that you would stop wanting me and just get rid of me. And after what she said, it felt like you finally did. Like you used her words as an excuse so you could finally leave me.”

 “That’s not true, baby,” he reiterates, tongue slipping as he tries to console you again

 At the pet name you look up. Your red-rimmed eyes locking with his. 

 He stutters a bit as he backtracks, barely able to get out a stiff apology. 

 And your lips pull down in a deep frown, and your brows turn up confusedly. “You said you wanted to… fix things with me?”

 Jeongguk’s lips part, dim surprise taking over his face before he breathes a small yes.

 “I want that too,” you breathe back, “but I’m still so afraid Jeongguk.”

 “I know, I know you are– I am too–”

 “Not like me,” you counter, “You may be scared, but you’re not scared like me. You can’t be scared like me.” 

 Your words come out sharper than intended, too emotional for the facade you’re trying to portray. But you don’t dwell on the tone of your voice. Nor do you dwell on the brief ire that flickers in Jeongguk’s eyes. 

 “I’m scared that I’ll never catch up to you. You won’t ever know what that feels like because you’ll never be the one that’s worried about falling behind– you’re the one that’s ahead of the curve. I’m scared that I’m not good enough for you and Nari– that I can’t be. You have no reason to be scared of that.” 

 The fight to keep your voice level and in control dwindles. Every ounce of your pain can be heard as you let out the burdensome ache in your heart, little by little. 

 Each word is heavier than the last when you ask Jeongguk, “Why would you be afraid of not being good enough for someone who never made you question it?” 

 Jeongguk flinches. Visibly recoils as if your words are abrasive enough to hurt. 

 Which is what you wanted. You wanted to hurt him, but it doesn’t make you feel better like you anticipated. If anything his reaction makes your pain ricochet right back at you. Hurting him, hurting you.

 And then you consider that perhaps, you didn’t truly want him to hurt– that you might have just wanted him to be aware. To know what you’re scared of; how it hurts to be scared.  

 “Maybe you are scared, too,” you amend, “Maybe there are even a few things that we’re both afraid of… but being scared isn’t something we have in common.”

 The hurt from before is replaced by barely-hidden defensiveness. Jeongguk does try to hide it as he listens to you, though. You give him credit for that.

 “Being scared that you’ll realize that I actually am just some stupid kid that doesn’t know what she wants, exactly like you thought, is a very specific fear,” you try to explain. “I’m scared that one day you’ll look at me but you won’t see me anymore– you’ll see a mistake that could have been avoided if you never came back. That I’ll cross your mind. But instead of thinking fondly… you’ll end up thinking about how you wish you had just stuck by your decision when you said you wouldn’t let me stay.”

 A defensive urge to argue the validity of his feelings comes naturally– he’s only human. His emotional side finds it unfair of you to determine, decide, and define his fears but the irony of the situation dawns on his logical side just as quickly. 

 The fact that you’re speaking to him in a manner that mirrors how he spoke to you all those months ago, doesn’t escape him. Instead, the similarities make him stop and think. Something he regrets not doing that night in his living room. 

 He concludes that arguing with you would be pointless. He knows you’re right and it doesn’t take him long to realize. 

 Yeah, Jeongguk’s scared. But just like you said– he’s not scared like you. Not scared of what you’re scared of. Jeongguk’s fears are more or less internal and he’s had a few of them for most of his adult life, since he became a father. Some of the fears may concern you in some way or another, but none of them manifested because of you or something you did or things you said. 

 He’s scared, but he’ll never be scared like you. Not when the things you’re afraid of only exist because of him. 

 The thought of it never going away, of you never being the same or free of the ache he caused, even after the insecurities and fears are dug up by the root– it makes Jeongguk feel like he’s going to be sick. 

 “I know you didn’t mean to hurt me,” you end up saying after a few moments of watching Jeongguk struggle to get words out. “And I know you regret it. You showing up here proves that.”

 The small, sad smile you give him is too kind for what he did.

 “I thought I was doing the right thing,” Jeongguk says, “For you, for Nari. I never thought– I’m so sorry, ___.”

 “I know,” you reassure, gently. 

 And you truly do know how sorry Jeongguk is. He obviously doesn’t have the words to express his remorse, but sincerity is written all over his face. His big doe-eyes dark and glassy and so genuine. Full of regret; the longing to go back and undo what can’t be undone. Somehow so full of warmth, just like you remember. 

 “I don’t want to fight anymore,” you say. 

 It doesn’t sound like you’re at your wit’s end or like you feel as if the conversation has reached it’s breaking point. Just sounds like what it means. Like you don’t want to fight. Not with him. Not with yourself. Not with what you’ve been wishing for since you lost it. 

 Jeongguk agrees, nodding. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make it a fight. I want you to be able to talk to me about–” He’s flighty, moving his hands all about, like he’s nervous and has too many things he wants to say. “about everything, really. So, I promise, I’ll just listen–”

 You watch him for a few more seconds, letting the corners of your lips turn up just so. Then you reach for his hands, ceasing their movement with your own. 

 “Shush,” you laugh faintly, “There’s still a lot we have to talk about. So much– we can’t get through it all with one conversation. It’s gonna take a lot of them and a long time, probably. But I think we’ve covered the most important stuff, right?”

 You’re aware it’s going to take time to get through the maze of problems you and Jeongguk have created between each other.

 But you can’t help but think about all time that you wasted while making them. 

 And you don’t want to waste even more time by waiting till everything is figured out before you start letting yourself get past it. You don’t want to hinder the process of moving forward by getting lost trying to navigate the maze. Not when you’ve finally made your way back to each other. 

 So while the labyrinth hasn’t been solved, and all your issues haven’t been fixed, at least now, you don’t have to do it alone. You can resolve everything and find a way out together. 

 It’s possible that you’re too willing to push things aside, that you’re too keen to move past it all. That you’re not standing your ground, being too easy and too soft, too quick. That you’re not giving yourself enough time to consider what you haven’t touched on yet. To process what you have. 

 But as you told Jeongguk, you feel like what needed to be addressed has been. With time, everything else will be talked about. Which is enough for you and your eager heart. You don’t want to wait anymore, not when you’ve been waiting so long already.

 Jeongguk’s wearing a flush when you grin at him and he looks down at the pair of your hands, still slightly entangled on your duvet. His thumb rubs softly over your knuckles while he says, “If you’re sure?”

 Vaguely aware of Jeongguk absently toying with your fingers while he awaits your reply, you think it over just for the sake of it and end up remembering something.

 You hum musingly, making sure he can hear the smile you decorate it with. An attempt to diffuse the heavy air in your room till it’s something more buoyant; lighthearted and easier to breathe. You curl your manicured finger around one of his, trapping it briefly before untangling both your hands.

 “Actually,” you start. 

 So very attentive, Jeongguk whips his head up. 

 “Now that I think about it, you told me why it took you so long,” you reflect, “But you didn’t tell me why now.”

 Jeongguk opens his mouth to reply before he’s furrowing his brows, puzzled, pursing his lips into a line. It’s quiet while he thinks.

 A weak, hopeless simper sounds, and he shakes his head while running a hand through his hair. “Again, I wish I had a better answer for you.”

 You roll your eyes and change positions, now sitting criss-cross in front of him. “Okay, well, you didn’t just randomly show up! There had to have been something that made you come now; today.”

 Light, but genuine laughter rings in your room– it starts off sounding like it’s accidental, cut-off chuckles only heard because the person laughing can’t hold it in, and it ends as cute giggles that lilt throughout the space softly. 

 And it’s all Jeongguk’s fault. 

 “No,” he says, around a breathy giggle, “I really did. I probably shouldn’t admit that, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you, and I ended up caving and looking at your–” 

 It’s now your fault that sounds of amusement continue to filter in the air– Jeongguk’s eyes getting wide and his face turning pink is too funny and you can’t not laugh at him.

 He stutters when he tries to backtrack, “Y… Your– pictures? On my phone? In my camera roll?” 

 You narrow your eyes suspiciously, impishly. “Which of my pictures, hmm?”

 The flush coloring his cheeks runs down to his chest, the silver LV pendant of his necklace would probably be warm if you reached out and touched it. He would probably be warm too if you reached out and touched him.

 “No! Oh my god, not those! I did not look at those, okay? Anyway,” he rushes out, “I really was on my way to work! But add a couple of turns and a few steps–” he shrugs, “I guess now because I physically couldn’t keep myself from you any longer? Because then I was at your door and now I’m here. With you.”

 The giggles have finally ceased, and now it’s just your paired breathing that acts as low background noise while you both take the other in.

 “Now you’re here with me,” you repeat softly, with an even softer smile.

 Jeongguk’s eyes drop to your lips for the briefest of moments. He darts his tongue out to wet his own.

 “___. You were right,” he tells you, “It didn’t have to be all or nothing like I thought it did.”

 You nod once.

 “I’m sorry for not listening to you. For deciding for you and not letting you make your own choices. And for not even letting you explain your side that night. For how bad I hurt you and for all the things the hurt caused.”

 “Okay,” you breathe.

 “I should have listened to you.”

 Again, you nod.

 “I should have chosen you.”

 It’s almost instantaneous when tears well in your eyes.

 “But I was so scared of the way I wanted you and how badly I wanted it,” Jeongguk confesses, “I’ve never felt the way I feel about you before. For anybody.”

 Mild confusion makes a home in your eyes.

 He expects it before he sees it stir your features, so he’s not surprised when it appears. He finds himself smiling. Maybe because he’s wanted to tell you that since he realized it. Or maybe he wants to finally do what he should have done the night of the fight, and even before then. 

 Jeongguk smiles at your uncertainty because this time, he gets to make it go away. He gets to reassure you of your place in his life, of how important you are to him. Of how you’re worth trying for. He’s quick to shush you when your lips part to speak. 

 “No one,” he insists, “You’re so different, ___. And I feel so differently for you. I feel different when I’m with you. That’s part of why I was afraid. I was scared to want you because I didn’t know how to have you.”

 Tears are making his eyes gleam, glassy in the morning light that streams through your blinds. Yours are a mirror and you don’t know how you’ve kept the drops from spilling over.

 “I’m still fucking scared,” he admits, “Like you said, we’re both still scared. Because we have no god damn clue how this will turn out. If we’ll even be able to fix it and get back to the way we were. Who might be collateral damage if we can’t. If one of us will end up changing our mind. Or if we’ll end up even better; if we –me and you, together– will be the only thing that we’re sure about.”

 The urge to tell him that you’ve been sure ever since you found his round little bug of a baby in your grocery store is so strong– you think you may burst because of it. Maybe the lovestruck feeling in your chest has gone supernova. 

 “I have no clue about anything other than the fact that I want to be with you, ___.”  

 Let the record show that between you and him, Jeongguk is the one to let the first tear fall during this conversation.

 “I want to try.” 

 “Yeah–”

 “If you’ll let me, I want to try for you. And if you’ll have me, I want to try with you. Because if we don’t at least try– I think I’ll wish that we did forever.”

 When you beam at him and exhale a simple, ‘Okay’ and Jeongguk echoes it, he thinks this is all too easy.

 But then he remembers how everything with you has always been that way. Maybe not too easy, but just right. Concerning you, the hardest thing he’s had to do is be without. 

 He brings your hand to his lips, brushing your knuckles with a sweet, kiss. “I want to be with you,” he tells you again.

 You bite your lip to suppress your smile. “Then be with me.”

 This time he’s the one saying ‘Okay’ and you’re the one echoing.

 Until backtrack with a pout. “What… what am I? Like– to you.”

 “What do you want to be?”

 “Yours.” 

 Your answer is breathed so quickly, like you didn’t even have to think about it to know that’s what you wanted. Like that’s the only thing you’ve ever wanted. How fast you reply gives Jeongguk butterflies. Makes him giddy while he tries to calm himself as he confirms, “Mine,” before he adds quietly, a little shy, “I’ll introduce you as… my girlfriend?”

 Jeongguk is so endeared when you close your eyes, wistful when you ask him to say it again in an airy voice. 

 “My girlfriend,” he whispers, squeezing your hand in his.

 When you open your eyes to look at him and he sees unshed tears heavy on your lashline, his heart pulls in his chest and it breaks a little when you murmur, “I didn’t know if I would ever hear you say that.” 

 “I’m sorry it took me so long.”

 A teardrop escapes the corner of your eye when you shake your head, smiling so sweetly, so happily. Jeongguk’s distracted, just taking it in and getting lost in everything that is you. So much so, that he doesn’t see it coming. Not until your arms are wrapped around his neck, his reflexively coming up to wrap around your waist like muscle memory. 

 Jeongguk takes a deep breath when he has you in his arms, nuzzles his nose into your hair. Pulls you impossibly closer, and he can feel how he squeezes the air out of you when you puff out a dulcet laugh into the crook of his neck. 

 When you bring your hand to the back of his head, the feel of your nails on his scalp and your fingers in his hair is enough to make him sigh, sink into the touch. It’s familiar. Feels like a natural progression, just like the way your cheeks brush when you pull away just slightly, only to come back. Closer this time. 

 His nose bumps yours, and he inhales your shaky sigh. 

 “I…”

 “Yeah?” Jeongguk breathes. 

 The shift is swift. The temperament of the atmosphere smoothly transforms– going from something saccharine and tenderly sentimental to something decadently rich and heavy. The air all at once becomes thick and intoxicatingly heady; plush and ardently warm. 

 The build-up is gradual. At first, the sudden heady note of warmth that makes your room hazy just feels like a blanket. Like it covers softly, tickles the skin lightly. Then it begins to seep in so slowly, gradually, that it’s not noticeable until the heat of it can be felt bone deep. Until fingers shake with the desire to touch. 

 It starts with Jeongguk nosing along your jaw; down the length of your neck when you tilt your head to the side for him. It starts with the occasional, accidental brush of his lips against your skin. It starts with your hand gripping tight in his hair, a subtle try at pulling him in to keep him near. 

 It ends with a kiss.

 Albeit, a fleeting one– but still a kiss nonetheless. 

 Pulling himself back, Jeongguk’s features are tensed. Eyes squeezed shut, teeth gritted as he struggles with himself. He’s rough when he gets a hold of you by your waist. His fingers digging in harshly; almost like he doesn’t realize how he’s handling you. But he’s gentle when pushes you away to put some space between you. 

 “Why–” you whisper, needy, as you bring your palms to cover his grip at your waist. You pet at the backs of his hands, coaxing him into letting them roam. You guide his touch down to your hips when he gives in briefly, encouraging him to touch you.  

 “I don’t know if– Maybe we shouldn’t–” 

 You crowd his space, bringing yourself to your knees and pushing his palms down to where the hem of your too-big sweatshirt grazes high on your bare thigh. Jeongguk groans after he loses his short internal battle. Can’t rob himself of squeezing at the meat of your thighs just for a second before he’s trying to pull his hands from yours.

 He doesn’t get very far because you end up cradling his face in your hands, angling his head up to look at you. And Jeongguk’s always been so easy for you. It’s no surprise how easily he yields to the movement; how easy his eyes slip shut. How easily he parts his lips when your tongue teases the seam; how easy it is to get lost in the taste of you. 

 “Shouldn’t what, Gguk?” you ask in a soft voice. Each word spoken between the kisses you’re trailing down the column of his neck.

 Jeongguk keeps his hands mostly to himself. Awkwardly letting them hover by your sides as he searches his brain, trying to recall the reason why he’s clinging to his resolve. It is so hard though, when you’re right in front of him. So willing and eager to let him have you. He finds himself following your lips when you barely let the plush center graze his cupid’s bow. 

 “Maybe we should… take it slow?” he offers, dazedly. It wasn’t supposed to sound like a question, but Jeongguk can’t help the way his voice carries up at the tail end like he’s not sure that’s really what he wants. 

 A little giggle falls from your lips, puffs hotly over his. And Jeongguk’s never thought you evil before, but right now he’s certain that you are. Because, with wistful mirth still in your voice, all you do is nod like you’re simply humoring him and say, “Yeah, maybe.”

 Then you kiss him again, sighing a delicate, ‘Touch me’ against his lips.

 You bring his awkward hands to your body, placing them on your tits, urging him to cup and squeeze over your sweatshirt. 

 Jeongguk exhales shakily, unable to keep himself from rolling them in his palms. 

 “Yeah,” you whisper, “Please.”

 His hold on your chest turns rough, accidentally letting his pent-up frustration out through his touch and taking it out on you. It doesn’t hurt, not really, but you still whine. Let out a high, airy keen as your eyes slip shut and your head tilts back. 

 There’s no warning. Only Jeongguk’s hands moving to your shoulders, followed by a push and then a tumble, ending with you on your back and Jeongguk hovering over you. He’s got your wrists pinned by your head, and he looks down at you with dark eyes. The frustration in them juxtaposes the surprise in yours. 

 “You know that’s not fair, ___,” he chides. His tone is harsh, trying to sound stern, maybe angry– but there’s a slight waver in his voice that tells you he’s struggling to stay collected. 

 Fussily, you squirm under him. You tug against the hold he has on your wrists, only for him to squeeze tighter. You cant your hips in an attempt to rub up against his, only for Jeongguk to just lift them higher. A laugh of incredulity pairs the disbelief on his face when he glances between your wiggling frame and your irritated pout. 

 “I’m trying to do things right,” he explains around his bemusement, as he roughly presses your wrists deeper into the mattress. “I’m trying to be good.”

 You stare up at him with pinched brows. He looks so pretty above you. Flushed a pretty pink with his lips parted and plumped by the kisses you managed to steal. A stray, misplaced strand of hair flutters with his heavy breathing. His eyes keep flitting down to your lips, and you can physically see how much he wants you; how hard it is for him to fight it.

 When he finally lowers his body to yours, it’s almost defeatedly. Jeongguk gives in and just rests his weight on you. Presses himself against you, hot and hard between your legs. Finding his place easily when you open up and make room for him.

 He keeps that pressure on his cock while he exhales a trembling, almost relieved sigh. His nose brushes yours but when you tilt your head to connect your lips, he pulls back. He does it again, taunting you with almost-kisses until you’re craning your neck again.

 He doesn’t kiss you back when he lets your lips connect. In fact, you can feel how he purses his stubbornly. You stay determined, unswayed by his resistance. Your soft kisses inch from his mouth to pepper cute, all over his blushing skin. The scar on his cheek, the bridge of his nose. The just barely off-center freckle beneath his bottom lip. When your palm naturally settles on his neck, fingertips over his pulse point, you let out a breathy noise of wonder when you feel how fast his heart is racing. 

 And he feels his cock kick shamefully in his pants, letting out a breathy noise of his own. You feel it too and you coo, soft and fond, as you trail your other hand down his spine until it’s flat on the small of his back, pressing encouragingly. 

 Pulling his bottom lip between his teeth, Jeongguk hangs his head to get closer to you. He bites gently at the pudge of your cheek, letting his teeth drag lightly until he’s mouthed hot, all the way to your ear.  

 “Why won’t you let me be good?” he whispers. 

 He croons prettily against the shell of your ear before he nips teasingly at your earlobe. A heat curls in your belly, making you suck in a short, whiny breath. The insides of your thighs clamp tight around his frame. 

 “Be good to me,” you gasp, arching up into him.

 Jeongguk moans quietly and buries his face in your neck when he can’t stop his hips from stuttering into a clumsy rhythm. Sloppily rutting his cock over your panties, uncoordinated and eager.

 Maybe he’s overly sensitive, hyperaware of your body underneath him, but when you begin to roll your hips, meeting his and matching his pace– he can feel how the little bit of added pressure has you opening up for him. Just enough for his hard-on to slide between, barely pillowed by your panty-covered pussylips. Even through the clothing, he can feel the difference. Like he knows you can. 

 He hears the unexpected moan you let out when you feel his cock rut over your clit and he feels the way your nails dig into his back at the sudden enhanced pleasure before he shifts to rest on his forearms so he can see too. 

 And what a pretty sight you are. 

 Eyes hazy and heavy, half-lidded as you look down your body to where he’s making you feel good. Cheeks flushed a rosy pink with arousal and maybe a little bit of abashment when you glance up at him and see him already watching you. You give him a small, shy grin before letting your eyes flutter closed. Basking in how he’s making you feel, your mouth falling open in a silent moan.  

 As he takes you in, his lips part with a low groan. His own pleasure coming from pleasuring you; heightened by every noise, look, and movement you make. Jeongguk gets such a specific satisfaction and gratification from making you feel good. From being good to you.

 “Is this what you want?” Jeongguk whispers, slowing down some. He settles into a steadier pace, rutting his cock up and down on your cunt with slow, lazy drags. 

 He grins to himself because of how quick you are to nod and let him know that, yes, this is what you want. His hand comes up to smooth some of the flyaways that have sprouted from your squirming and he cups your cheek when your turn into his touch. 

 “Hmm?” he prompts, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. 

 You huff, annoyed, and he can’t help but coo, smitten. 

 “Yeah– yes I want this, but I–,” you start off strong. You hold his gaze until shyness wins and has you focusing on the necklace dangling from his neck. The LV sways some as he continues to rock his hips. “I want more, too.”

 “Yeah?” Jeongguk asks, a smile lacing his dreamy tone. He gives a quick, soft peck to your red-bitten lips in lieu of letting you answer. “I know you do,” he tells you, murmurs it with open-mouthed kisses against your throat. He pulls at the neck of your sweatshirt, draws a violet into your collarbone, using his lips as the pen. Then he tugs the thin skin between his teeth briefly, making you inhale harshly before he kisses it better. 

 “Gonna take care of you,” he promises, “take my time with you.”

 Jeongguk proceeds at his own languid speed, lingering on every new inch of skin that’s revealed as he rids you of your sweatshirt. Of your panties. 

 He allows you your own pace as well. 

 Doesn’t spur you on when you’re slow to open up his dress shirt, doesn’t goad you into nimble quickness when your fingers stumble and it takes you far longer than it should to undo all the buttons. He doesn’t hurry you when your touch drags over his skin, or when your palms falter at his shoulders, or when your fingertips lag all the way down his arms when you finally slide the button-up off. When your shaky hands bide their time, hesitating at the buckle of his belt, he doesn’t rush you. 

 Jeongguk takes his time –and lets you take yours– as if time itself doesn’t exist when it’s passing between the both of you. As if each moment that comes and each moment that goes is inconsequential because moments are meaningless and time is simply a concept when forever is right now. 

 Nothing really matters and there’s no need to rush when he’s in your hands and you’re in his arms and forever is in his heart.  

 “Not yet,” he lilts, grabbing your wrists and sliding the flat of your palms up his tummy and away from his waistline. 

 “But I–”

 “But I–” he flirts coyly. 

 Your mouth opens to argue, but the words never get a voice. His mien makes the words in your throat fall mute and causes a feeling of wistfulness to rouse in your heart.  

 Knelt on his knees between your legs, smiling down at you, playful and flirty. Happy. Wearing a pink full-body flush– Jeongguk is stunning. Distractingly so. 

 He’s glowing; gentle yet radiant. A quiet fondness reflected in his eyes as he looks at you with that well-worn adoration of his. It’s a familiar affection. One that you’ve missed, yearned for, and memorized– one that you’ve tried to unlearn and tried to forget, too, because of how much it ached to remember. 

 Nostalgia is a wonted thing that taints good memories until it hurts to remember them. It warped the memory of Jeongguk’s adoration until even just a fleeting thought about it hurt. It made you want to wipe your memory clean just to be freed from the yearning.

 But with him looking at you the way he is, with that same raw adoration, you can’t fathom how you wanted to forget how it made you feel. How it still makes you feel. Because how good does it feel to be adored? How good does it feel to be wanted? How good does it feel to be finally his? 

 You dig your nails into his skin at the thought, and his tummy tenses. His grip on your wrists tightens and he lets out a soft hiss, the sound buoyed by a light, airy chuckle.

 His thumbs run over the pulse points in your wrists. “Lean against the headboard for me? Get comfy?”

 Cushioned by a few pillows, you do as he says, sinking into the down. Your knees are bent, and your arms are wrapped over your middle, now hyper-aware of how exposed you are comparatively. 

 Jeongguk’s top half is just as bare as you, only his necklace still on. But even though his lower body is covered, his bottoms are unforgiving. Dark slacks belted at his hips, the slight dip by his hipbones accentuated and his v-lines disappearing into the waistband where his cock is tucked away. Too hard and heavy to disguise, clothes doing almost nothing.  

 Not that he’s trying to hide it much at all. He’s palming himself casually, his touch light and his eyes dark. Tracking your movements while he waits for you to get settled. 

 When you are, Jeongguk makes his way to you, his hands resting on your knees as he lets his gaze roam. From your eyes to your lips, to your pillowy tits, to your closed legs. You feel a light pressure, almost tentative like he’s asking for permission with his touch.

 He’s on his best behavior though, so he asks you as well. And when you hear how his voice comes out a little deeper, with an almost imperceptible tremble, as he gently asks, “Can I?”,  your lashes flutter and your thighs reflexively press together, before you let him guide them open. 

 Time isn’t real, but any time in your bed shouldn’t go to waste. So he swiftly resituates himself, resting between your spread legs with his lips naturally finding their place on your neck, his hands on your skin. 

 Jeongguk’s quick, but attentive, as he relocates his mouth. The spit from his kiss marks leave a faint, wet trail from where they start at your neck down to the swell of your tits. He sighs when he gets a hold of them, jiggling a bit and squeezing. He glances at you through his lashes, as he plays your nipples, teasing them till they’re hardened by his touch. He smiles to himself when he sees you bring your bottom lip between your teeth to keep quiet.

 When he uses his lips to tease, he hears you sigh an airy, pleased sound. He’s smug as he swirls his tongue, flicks lightly over the stiff little peak. You take a deep breath, your chest expanding and pushing into him, before it’s released in a stuttery exhale. When you get a hold of his hair, the strands curl around your fingers, softly, like how you hold him close and cradle him to your chest. 

 He gives the paired nipple the same attention. Has you mewling prettily with each lick and suck. Whining with each bite and tug. 

 As he follows the length of your body, he does so with small, suctioning bites. A little nip just below your sternum, a little nip under your ribs. One at the softest part of your lower belly, right next to the pink heart of your belly ring. He gives the jewel a tiny, baby kiss.

 “This is the same one that you had in the first time we…” he stammers, too aware of the blush that simmers just under his skin at the thought. “We… you know… right?”

 Jeongguk’s laying on his front, his head resting against your inner thigh. His arms wrapped around your legs, resting on your belly. The tattooed fingers of his right hand absently toy with the dangly part of the jewelry. 

 Something warms you from the inside, pleasantly surprised by the mushy, lovesick feeling that washes over you. Your heart beats, rapid in your chest, and you wonder if Jeongguk can feel the whirlwind of butterflies in your tummy under his palms. 

 You nod, blushingly and shy. “Yeah, it’s… yeah.”

 “Just as cute as I remember,” he nods back. The puffs under Jeongguk’s eyes form when he smiles and adds, “This one is my favorite… Gonna make you feel good now, okay?”

 He says it so casually, that you want to laugh a little, but the anticipation it sparks makes you tense. Your pussy clenches on nothing, and you can feel that tell-tale heartbeat pulse between your legs. 

 “Okay… yeah…” you whisper dumbly, trying to hide how eager you are. You slowly open your legs a little wider so you can see him better, so he can touch you better. 

 Jeongguk switches from having one of his hands wrapped around your thigh to it resting palm down on your mons. He uses his thumb to lightly run along your plump folds, up and down. His eyes are fixed on your pussy, and his tongue peeks out to wet his lips a little before he nibbles on the inside of his lip, a soft smile making the corners curl. 

 “Just as cute as I remember,” he says again, his tone playful and a little wistful this time. He kisses just above your slit.

 Past lovers had said your cunt was pretty or maybe perfect when they found themselves between your legs, but Jeongguk has always called your pussy cute. It’s just a thing he does. And you don’t know why, but it never fails to make you blush, a little giddy and shy– something just so simple and sweet about his word of choice. 

 Even now, it has you wiggling and trying to inch your legs closed as you bring your hands up to hide your face. It’s whiny, but you both know you don’t really mean it when you say, “Stooooop” the word dragged out and laced with pleased flattery.

 You can feel Jeongguk’s warm laughter puff over your cunt as he urges you to keep your legs spread. He hums as the giggles subside and says, “Don’t be shy now, I’m just getting started.”

 A wistful sigh sounds, and it’s soft and cute and taunting when you say, “Okay well, hurry up.”

 You shift slightly here and there to get more comfortable, running a hand through your hair as you resist the urge to smile back at Jeongguk when he gives you a look. When you bring your arm down from your hair, Jeongguk snags it, guiding your hand to your cunt. But when you start to play yourself he stops you, tuttingly.

 “Don’t touch, just– open up for me,” he instructs, “Show me.”

 Jeongguk groans under his breath when you do as he says. When he stroked over your pussy lips just a moment ago, they were plush and smooth, soft to the touch with your arousal tucked neatly between your folds. But with them spread, he can see how you’re glossy with slick; so dewy when he’s barely even touched you. 

 “You’re already so wet. How long have you been like this, hmm?” he wonders aloud, gathering a small bit of the sticky clear at your opening with his finger before just barely pushing it inside. Kind of like he’s trying to put the little droplet back where it came from; not let it go to waste. Then he brings his touch to your clit and your pussy slick aids the up and down swipes of his thumb. 

 “Ah– fuck,” you faintly gasp. 

 Jeongguk’s cock pulses as you bring your other hand down, using both to spread yourself open more and pull back the hood of your clit. Making sure his touch is direct and the sensation feels as good as possible. The thought of you already being so greedy for pleasure is enough for him to leak, precum surely leaving a wet patch in his briefs. 

 Even though he’s being gentle, when he rubs over your exposed clit, you shy away from his touch despite being so fiendish for it. Jeongguk babies you with a coo because he knows that you’re probably so sensitive. You gave yourself almost no time to warm up, afterall. 

 “Too much?” he asks you.

 With a shake of your head, you say, “No, no… just– slowly, please.”

 Your words make him smile and he gives your inner thigh a honeyed kiss for being so good. The smile lingers because slow is the pace he always intended to use, at your request or not. It’s how he intends to finish you too. For the first time, at least. 

 Jeongguk keeps that slow speed until your body relaxes and another few drops of clear slick drip for your cunt. The thumb of his other hand rubs softly over your taint as he collects what you leak and tucks it back inside. Your pussy clenches and your hole puckers at the sensation every time, and it makes him fucking throb. 

 The thumb on your clit only speeds up enough for it to not be torturous or agonizingly slow, the pace satisfying but remaining lax and unhurried, like he has all the time in the world. Once he finds a good rhythm, he keeps the motions constant and consistent.

 When you start to get antsy and fidget, he smiles to himself knowingly. 

 “Feels good, baby?” he asks you, and when you nod, he whispers, “Yeah? Look so pretty…”

 And you didn’t lie. It does feel good. But he doesn’t go any faster. He doesn’t push the fingers at your opening in any farther. And after a handful of seconds that feel like minutes that feel like hours– there still isn’t any indication that he plans to.  

 When you roll your hips, trying to hint at what you want, Jeongguk stops you with a scolded tsk, telling you to stay still. The sound you let out is frustrated and petulant.

 There’s a taunting note in Jeongguk’s voice when he says, “I thought you said it feels good?”

 “It does,” you tell him, “But– faster?”

 Jeongguk’s expression is entertained, chuffed even. “I told you I was gonna take my time with you. Need you to be patient for me, baby–”

 “Please–”

 “Hush, ___.” 

 There’s still lingering amusement in his tone, but there’s also a sharpness, a hint of disapproval and something stern that wasn’t there before. It’s enough of a warning to silence the begging on the tip of your tongue. 

 “I’ll get you there, baby,” he says, his voice sweet again. “It’ll feel so good, I promise.”

 It’s quiet for a moment. Then–

 “I changed my mind, it doesn’t feel good.”

 Jeongguk doesn’t even look up from your pussy when he asks a preoccupied, “No?” Then he peeks at you, and when you give a pouty nod he hums. It’s smiling and mirthful when he dismisses you. “Well, don’t worry. It will soon.”

 Jeongguk is content between your thighs, still playing with your clit slowly. He only checks on you when your squirming mostly stops and you become suspiciously mute. 

 He snorts when he sees you scowling at him. “Don’t look at me like that.” After a few seconds with no response, he continues with, “Oh, so you’re going to be difficult now?”

 You shrug, snooty. 

 Laughing, he asks, “You’re really gonna act like it doesn’t feel good?” The corners of his lips curl softly and his eyes narrow like he’s scrutinizing you. His head tilts a little when he continues with, “Like you’re not leaking, right now? Like you wouldn’t be making a mess on your sheets if I wasn’t helping you?”

 Jeongguk watches your cheeks steadily turn a deep pink at his words until you look away from him, turning your nose in the air. You probably would have covered your face with your hands to avoid his gaze had they not been occupied.

 He chuckles again when he’s only met more silence. Just the slightest squirm when he tucks another leaked droplet back into your cunt. To make a point.

 “That’s okay, you can be mad at me as long as you’re patient, too,” he says, tone grossly fond and a perfect example of the patience he wants from you. “Still gonna make you cum. Still gonna be good to you and give you what you want.”

 And it seems what people say about patience being a virtue and all that, is true. Because just like Jeongguk said, with just a bit more time and some decorum, it does start to feel even better.   

 Like the way he’s been touching you, the come-up is slow and steady. The hot waves of pleasure that ebb in your lower belly. The rise and fall of your chest that gradually gets faster. The noises that get harder and harder to keep in. 

 Jeongguk doesn’t need to hear you, though, to know he’s getting you there. But he’s enjoying this brattier side of you –he remembers you being difficult every now and then, but overall you were always so good for him; never fought him too hard on things– so he humors you by asking, “Starting to feel nice, baby?”

 Everso tart, you shrug again, looking off to the side. 

 Still, Jeongguk doesn’t need to see your face to know he’s getting you there. Your pussy is a whistleblower, telling him everything he needs to know. Your cunt– leaking non-stop, contracting constantly. Your tiny clit– now puffy and swollen from all his attention. 

 Your fingers holding your pussy lips apart for him have a mild tremor. Your brows are arched when you finally give him your attention again, watching his thumb swipe up and down, over and over again. Your legs are beginning to tremble beside him. Your head is lulling back, and your lungs are exhaling a lewd sigh. 

 “I– I’m close,” you whisper, breathlessly.

 Jeongguk purrs, is just about to tease you and your stubbornness with something along the line of ‘Really? Thought it didn’t feel good, ___’. But he doesn’t get the chance because of how close the string in you is to snapping. How it’s pulled so taut that it has you near tears, that slow and steady come-up finally peaking.

 “Oh my god, Gguk– my– my pussy’s gonna cum,” you cry quietly, legs shaking as you struggle to keep them open.

 “Mhm, I told you, baby,” he hums, smug, “Let me see how good it feels.”

 Your face is turned into your shoulder, but you nod for him. Focusing on the ruining, slow, consistent rubbing of his thumb. The pleasure is so mind-numbingly good that, as much as you want to cum, you try to make it last as long as possible. 

 Which isn’t much longer at all, only a few more vertical swipes over your clit is all you can handle before you’re mewing a soft warning and cumming so hard your body convulses.

 “That’s my girl. So pretty, baby. Did so good; always such a good girl for me,” Jeongguk praises, full of lust-filled awe as he watches you finish. He feels your clit pulsing under his thumb and he sees your cunt squeezing repeatedly around nothing and now he that he’s not preventing it, he sees how your pussy cums– leaking everything that he tucked away and dripping down to your sheets. Making a mess like he knew it would.

 He continues to rub your clit until your body twitches, curling in on yourself as you close your legs and bring them to your chest. Wrapping your arms around the backs of your knees and pulling your legs to your chest, you curl into yourself for protection as Jeongguk moves to shed himself of the rest of his clothes. Then he sits on his heels while he watches you, amused. 

 Even though you’ve made a great attempt at hiding your pussy away, with the way you’re positioned it still peeks out from between your thighs. Puffy and shiny. 

 You’re on your back with your eyes closed, still catching your breath. The feel of Jeongguk’s hands on you makes you jump, and when his touch moves form the backs of your thighs closer to your sensitive cunt, you whine, kicking at his arms weakly.

 “Shh,” he murmurs, “I won’t touch, I just want to look.”

 Somewhat soothed by his words, you begin to shift to a more relaxed position but Jeongguk pushes your legs back together and your knees back to your chest. 

 You gripe at being manhandled. “What if I want to see, too?” 

 “You don’t need to see if I tell you what I see,” Jeongguk reasons.

 “It’s mine,” you argue.

 “Ours,” he corrects.

 After telling Jeongguk that he’s dumb and asking him to please shut up, both of you dissolve into a fit of laughter. When you kick again, trying to get his shoulder as punishment, he gets a grip on your leg before you can land the hit and he kisses your ankle. You sigh.

 It’s quiet, and you’re content letting Jeongguk pet at you, listening as he tells you about what he sees. He says cute a few times. Wet, messy. His fingers brush over your folds, even plumper than before, and you can feel the sticky wetness that stays behind when he moves his touch to somewhere else.

 When he uses his thumbs to part your pussy lips, you hear him whine. The breathy noise makes you grin, and you hum lightly. 

 “Still cute?” you ask aloud. Eyes on the ceiling, smile still on your lips.

 Jeongguk knows he said he wouldn’t touch, but he doesn’t think you’re too sensitive anymore. He still bypasses your clit just in case when he slowly runs his fingertip to your opening. When he presses into the second knuckle, you moan sweetly and the sound mixes with the audible wetness. There’s a crystalline string still attached to his finger when he pulls away. 

 “Mhmm,” Jeongguk hums, answering your question. “But so messy.”

 You bite your lip when Jeongguk slips his finger in again, a little father this time. 

 “Clean me up, then,” you whisper, airy and wispy. 

 Jeongguk hums and when you look to the sound, you can see him peeking at you over your bent knees that are still pulled to your chest. He scrunches his nose at you cutely, and you mirror the curve of his lips.

 “I guess I should, since I’m the one who made you make such a mess,” he hums, like he’s mulling it over. But the fact that he does so while lowering his face to your cunt shows that he’s already made his decision. 

 In this position, you can’t see him and it makes you tense in anticipation while you wait.

 Jeongguk knows it’s a little mean to keep you waiting, but he can see you so perfectly like this. Can see how you’re trying control your arousal and calm yourself down with deep breaths. He can see how it’s not working.

 “You’re shaking,” he observes dreamily. 

 Your pussy leaks and he watches that glossy slick drip down. He uses his pointer finger to play with the droplet at your hole, swirling the dewiness around the cinched muscle.

 The sigh you let out is stuttered, and your hole clenches under his touch before you force yourself to relax again. You swallow your embarrassment before you admit, “I want it really bad, Gguk.”

 You sound like you’re close to crying and Jeongguk soothes you with wet kisses on your thighs. 

 “All you have to do is ask, baby,” Jeongguk tells you gently. His kisses move till they’re right next to your pussy, his tongue poking out to lick just outside your folds. His thumbs pull you open and he blows lightly.

 “Oh my god,” you whimper. 

 Jeongguk’s voice is full of flirty, mirth when he asks, “What do you say? Hmm?”

 The heartbeat in your cunt is the only thing you can focus on. The pulsing is so loud and strong that it drowns everything else out. You don’t even really hear it when you sigh a hazy, “Please, sir.” 

 Predictably, your words go straight to his cock. But weirdly enough, he also feels them in his heart? He can’t explain it but somehow the lust thrumming through him melts into something fond? A lovesick impulse has him opening your legs so he can slot himself in between.

 He doesn’t lay on you but holds himself above on a braced arm. His free hand comes up to cup your cheek as he looks at you. The corners of your eyes are damp, confirming the tears he thought he had heard in your voice earlier. Your lips are redder and a bit swelled, probably from you pulling them between your teeth.  

 Jeongguk kisses the corner of one eye, then the other, and then your lips. His thumb glides over your cheekbone. He sounds gentle when he says, “No ‘sir’ today, okay? Just Gguk.”

 You nod in his hold. 

 “Good girl,” he smiles, soft and sweet. “I’ll clean you up now, won’t tease you anymore.”

 You breathe a relieved sigh as Jeongguk kisses all the way down your tummy and you think about how good it’s going to feel, after all this time, to have his mouth all over your cunt. To feel his tongue licking into you, deep and slow. To feel his lips wrapping around your clit with light sucks. 

 The closer Jeongguk gets to your pussy, the harder it is to keep still. He smiles as you squirm and you can feel it in the juncture of your inner thigh where his mouth has strayed. It’s not too long before he gets back on track, kissing his way to your pussy till his lips are tucked between your plush folds and the tip of his tongue is circling your clit. 

 Your mouth drops open in a silent moan as you sit up, resting on your elbows to watch him. Just the sight of him is enough to make the first surge of heat curl in your belly. He’s got his eyes closed, lashes sitting pretty on the highs of his cheek as he licks at you. Cleaning you up and making a mess of you all at once. 

 “You look so pretty,” you whisper as you card a hand through his hair, pushing the stands off his forehead and out of his face.

 Without stopping his tongue, Jeongguk glances up at you, his eyes half-lidded and hazy. He moans pleased and happy into your pussy. Only pulls away for a second to whisper a cute ‘thank you’.

 His tongue is busy and so are his hands, running them up your body. When he gets to your tits, he’s harsh. Digging in and squeezing with palms that are just as greedy as his mouth. He uses the hold he has on them to pull himself closer, push his tongue deeper. The harshness of his touch makes you hiss, the hand you have in his hair tugging. 

 Jeongguk’s eyes roll back a little before he loosens grip, squeezing your tits once more, gently this time, as an apology. Then he’s smoothing his palms along your waist till one’s wrapped around your thigh and the other’s resting on your tummy.  

 He pulls away briefly to look at you, offering a sheepish grin before he pecks just above your slit. The hand he has on your belly absently fiddles with your bellyring.

 “Sorry,” he says, “I just– I don’t know, I didn’t notice how rough I was being.”

 You hum while you rest your feet on his back and wiggle your toes. 

 “I think I’ve just been wanting you for so long…” He turns his head and nuzzles into your leg by his head, his hair tickling the sensitive skin. “And now that I have you, I–” His lips graze your inner thigh with every word and when he’s at the softest part, he bites gently. 

 On a sigh, you ask, “You what?”

 Resting where his teeth just were, he tilts his head, looking up at you. “It’s hard for me to control myself. I just– can’t get enough of you.” His words are said with a sigh and uttered in between roaming wet kisses. 

 After he promises he’ll be more careful with you, he begins to lick broad stripes over your cunt. When you spread your legs wider, you can feel the flat of his tongue against your clit. But it’s just slightly, just a brush of his tongue. 

 “My clit,” you moan, looking down your nose at him, “Play with my clit.”

  He hums, pulling back a little. With your legs parted so wide, your pussy lips are spread just enough for him to see the little bud. He watches you as he uses the very tip of his tongue, flicking repeatedly over the sensitive spot just under your hood.

 Your brows pinch and your legs twitch as they naturally try to inch close, the feel of Jeongguk’s tongue so good and so much that your body is already on the verge of being overwhelmed. 

 “Ah– yeah, like that, Gguk,” you sigh letting your head roll back, basking in how good he’s making you feel, “Keep licking my pussy like that.”

 Your eyes lull shut while you let him make you feel good, and it’s then that you notice his hand on your tummy is still toying with your piercing. It’s distracting only for a moment, only before you realize that every time he does something to your clit with his tongue, he does the same to the dangly part of the jewelry with his fingers.

 When Jeongguk circles your clit, he twirls the charm. When he licks up and down over your clit, the little heart gets flicked too. When he suctions his lips and sucks your clit in and out of his mouth, he tugs gently on your belly ring.

 You can’t be sure if he’s doing it on purpose. One part of you thinking the patterns match up too well for it to be unconscious, the other part thinking it could just be an absentminded coincidence. You also can’t be sure why the nuanced touches are making the pleasure in your gut curl so tight; burn so hot.

 “Gguk– you’re gonna make me cum again…” you drone, lustdrunk. 

 He smiles while his tongue continues to lick lightly. “Am I?”

 While looking down your body at him, you nod. Your body already pulling taut with the tension that always preludes your orgasms.

 Jeongguk’s lips wrap around your clit and he gives a quick sucking kiss before he pulls away with a little pop! sound. “Not yet, I’m not done cleaning you up.”

 Groaning, you throw your head back. “You said you weren’t gonna tease anymore.”

 “I did,” he confirms, his big palms finding the backs of your thighs and pushing them back, “But not so you could cum– so I could clean up your mess–”

 “Your mess–”

 “Our mess,” he amends, the tips of his fingers straying to the newly exposed parts of you. Jeongguk brushes over your hole, and you suck in a small gasp. “You’re messy here too, baby.”

 Whining softly, you squirm as Jeongguk presses light, sucking kisses into your skin and there’s a subconscious urge to close your legs to keep him from getting where he so clearly intends. At the first signs of subtle hesitance, you feel his hands hold your legs open more firmly

 “Let me?” he breathes, “Please?”

 And something about how his voice is so soft –hazy and dreamy and full of so much lust and desire– has you relaxing, giving in. Docile and pliant in his hands. 

 You suppose some things may never change.

 The first feel of his tongue tasting you where no one has before makes you exhale a shaky sigh. Your hole puckering under the featherlight licks he gives. When he circles the cinched muscle, your mouth falls open and you look down your body and between your open legs to where Jeongguk already has his eyes on you. 

 His eyes get little puffs under them when he sees your reaction and smiles. The confusedly pleasured pinch of your brows. The tense way your hands grip the sheets under you.

 Giving your cheek a quick peck, he asks, “Feels good, doesn’t it?”

 It makes the memory of him –hot and hard and leaking with your tongue on his hole– flash in your mind. It reminds you that he knows what he’s doing to you, that he knows he’s making you feel good because you made him feel the same way. Sure the anatomy’s different, but a tongue is a tongue and a hole is a hole. 

 In lieu of being difficult, you answer him with a moan; with your head hitting your pillows again.

 That’s confirmation enough for Jeongguk as he echoes your moan with his own. He wraps his lips around the tight muscle in a nasty wet kiss and then drags his tongue up and along your leaking center till he’s at your clit where he plays until he works you into a whiny mess.

 You’re tensing, and he can feel how your body shifts as your chest expands with the deep breaths you’re taking. Like you’re trying to focus and keep yourself earthbound by delaying the impending high. 

 It’s a high that’s inevitable though, and you have a warning on the tip of your tongue only for it to go to waste when Jeongguk makes his way down again as soon as he senses it.

 And he repeats this– alternating between rimming you tauntingly and eating you till he can tell you’re right on the edge. You can feel how he smirks and you’re sure it’s amusement that you can hear prettying up little noises he purrs. His continuous teasing has you letting out barely contained whiny keens. 

 But Jeongguk can tell you’re doing your best to behave. The brattish way about you from before is nowhere to be seen. Not even when he feels your body slump for the nth time, panting from another almost-orgasm he takes away.   

 “You’re gonna cum aren’t you?” Jeongguk wonders aloud, pulling back a little to see how your pussy clenches in anticipation.

 He hears you swallow, flicks his eyes up to watch as you bring a hand up to tug a little at your hair. It trembles a little as you bring it down to his locks.

 “I- yeah… just… please…” You tug, pulling him to your clit by the crown of his head and holding him there with both hands. “Just stay there, please…”

 You can’t help the way that you start to roll and grind against his face. Jeongguk’s lips and his tongue rubbing against you repeatedly with the up and down motion of your hips, and his nose bumping your clit a little every now and again. 

 His hands dig into your waist like he’s trying to pull you closer, suffocate himself with your cunt. It’s when he shakes his head with subtle little side to side motions over your clit that your pleasure peaks with your legs shaking before they’re closing around his head.

 You cum hard and quietly, hushed ‘don’t stop’s and ‘keep going’s tumbling from your lips as you hold his mouth against you until you can’t take it anymore. You use one hand to pull him away by the hair, your other coming down to press against your still pulsing pussy. 

 With the hold you still have in his hair, you deliriously guide and maneuver him upwards. You’re still trying to catch your breath, so the quiet awed, ‘Whoa…’ you voice sounds airy

 The position you’ve got Jeongguk in now has him straddling you across your upper torso with strong thighs caging you in. His cock bobbing a little right in your face. Heavy and flushed, the tip an angry shade of pink and shiny with precum. It’s instinctive when you reach out with your small hand to wrap around the base. And again, something awe-filled tumbles from your mouth.

 “You’re so hard…” 

 The words float past your lips in the form of a breathless whisper, your lashes fluttering as your gaze jumps from his cock to his face. Your hand strokes lightly, just your fingertips running over the warm, silky skin. 

 “Missed you,” Jeongguk says with a tiny, unabashed shrug. As if that’s explanation enough for the state he’s in.

 He smiles with his bottom lip tugged between his teeth and you smile back.

 The pad of your thumb rubs at the underside of the crown when a drop of precum leaks, massaging it in messily. “Can I use my mouth?”

 “Mhmm,” Jeongguk sounds, not trusting his voice enough to not shake.

 You begin by placing weighted kisses along his length, starting at the base till your lips pucker around the slit. The heady taste of precum makes you purr, moaning softly. Jeongguk’s hips cant forward, and when you glance up you can see how his head has rolled back.

 Smiling at how affected he already is by the smallest things, you run your teeth over the sensitive head. You anticipate the hiss that Jeongguk sucks in. Your tongue swirls around to soothe and to taste before your mouth opens to swallow. 

 The tip of his cock barely grazes the back of your throat before Jeongguke is pulling his hips back and choking just slightly on the whiny gasp that gets caught in his throat. He threads a hand in your hair and tugs you off. 

 Your forehead is resting against his lower tummy, and you giggle a little before you kiss at the slight jutting of his hipbone. His cock throbs, and he groans.

 “What’s wrong?” you ask, smiling into him.

 You can feel his fingers massage lightly at your scalp, and when you glance up at him, he’s looking down at you, lovesick as he rolls his eyes at your playfully. 

 “Go slow, okay?” he asks softly, “Tease me a little?”

 Closing your eyes briefly as you let the sound of his moonstruck voice wash over you, you kiss sweetly at his hip once more before giving small kitten licks to the warm, flushed skin of his cock. He sighs like he’s in love.

 “Like this?” you ask, coquettishly. 

 Jeongguk nods when you look up at him with your mouth open and the tip of your tongue flicking lightly.

 “Lick the tip,” he whispers while he gets a hold of himself and guides it to your mouth. 

 You keep your eyes on him as you slowly drag the flat of your tongue with long licks.

 “Good… that’s good baby…” he says airily.

 Jeongguk glances down his nose at you for just a moment longer before his head is rolling back, and he’s moaning. His little sounds are quiet, but they’re almost constant. And you’re really not doing much, just licking softly at his frenulum, but you can already feel how his cock is getting stiffer, can see how the muscles in his tummy tense and untense… like he’s already getting close.

 Kissing the crown, you pull away, stroking over him lazily. Squeezing at the base when he kicks in your palm. “Already?” you ask gently.

 Jeongguk’s eyes are squeezed shut, like he’s trying to keep his composure, but at your choice of words, he laughs lightly. “Yes, already,” he tells you, pointedly. “That’s why I said to go slow.”

 Slow is good for you. Slow lets you take it all in. Take all of him in. 

 Slow lets you tease drop after drop of precum out; lets you coax your name from Jeongguk’s lip over and over again until you’re sure you’ll hear his lovechants in your dreams tonight. Slow lets you memorize the way that his hands twitch wherever they touch you, how he gasps when your tongue does something that feels extra nice, how he whines when you bring your free hand up and roll his balls in your palm. 

 He’s a bit predictable, endearingly so with the blush on his cheeks as he urges the hand toying with his balls a little farther back. You smile to yourself as you touch him, rubbing at his taint and taking a moment to just watch his face. 

 Jeongguk’s eyes are shut, mouth just barely parted. His brows pinch just slightly when you inch your touch farther back and the cinched muscle clenches briefly under your fingertips, before he relaxes. It’s light and hazy when he whispers, “Yeah, baby…”

 The light circles you’re tracing around Jeongguk’s hole have his cock throbbing. You have to wrap your lips around the head to keep him still enough to taste and properly tease, sucking with tiny bobs of your head as you drink down everything he leaks. 

 “I– ___, oh my god–” Jeongguk pants, looking down at you, like he can’t believe you or your mouth, can’t believe how good it feels to have you again. 

 You hum, lips still wrapped around the tip of his cock as you smile up at him as best you can. His chest expands with a sharp inhale when you press your fingers a littler firmer against his hole.

 “Want me to put them in?” you ask between the soft open-mouthed kisses you press to his cock.

 The sound that Jeongguk lets out makes your kisses cease and has you sinking your teeth into your bottom lip. Your thighs rub together, and your pussy is needy between them.  

 Jeongguk’s never done it before, at least not fully and with someone else. But the thought alone is almost enough to make him finish. It would be a first for you and him, together. Something he’s been wanting, craving.

 He’s still trying to get his thoughts in order when you prompt him with a patient, ‘Hmm?’. 

 “I- No, no–” he ends up saying, “Just– just play with me.”

 It’s sighed, laced with lust and contentment. Having you right now, just playing as he said, is more than enough for him. The anticipation does feel nice though, hot and sweet like a whispered promise of next time. Jeongguk wonders if you’ll ruin him. 

 “You just want me to play?” you ask, “You don’t want to cum?”

 And Jeongguk’s sure you will. Ruin him, that is. If you haven’t already.

 Your voice comes out lovily teasing, and your hands stay busy while you look up at him, eyes big and so pretty. Lips glossy with spit, maybe a little bit of his precum. 

 “Not– not yet?” 

 Jeongguk’s voice sounds unsure in your ears, and his actions contradict his words when you bring your lips to his leaking tip. His hips roll forward seemingly on their own accord, the most sensitive part of his cock rubbing against your tongue that you’ve pillowed underneath the crown. 

 A choked little whine falls from his open mouth before his head is lulling back and his hands are coming to your hair. Humming, you suction your lips around the head and bring the hand you don’t have busy to his hips, urging him to keep rocking his hips, slow so you can keep the pressure from your tongue constant. 

 “Oh my god– baby… baby–” Jeongguk moans, his gaze back on you. His brows furrowed and arched up, his mouth agape. 

 Under your touch, you can feel his muscles tense. How his breaths come out huffed and strained. How he sometimes tries to pull his hips away before he pushes them in like he rethought it, maybe like he never meant to. How no matter how hard he tries to keep from doing it, the stalling pace of his hips picks up.

 And you can tell he’s going to cum. 

 He keeps muttering these fucked out little whispers of your name, of baby, of my baby. Almost like they’re warnings, maybe pleas. But not pleas for you to stop, or tease him anymore. You can hear the difference, can feel it in the way he touches you. Can taste it on your tongue with every heavy drop of precum that he’s leaking.  

 It’s like a string snaps in him, when he groans something deep and dissonant and his hips stop all together and his hold in your hair turns almost painful as he uses his grip to work your mouth over his cock.

 “Yeah,” he breathes, “Don’t fucking stop… Gonna make me fucking cum–”

 His cock is throbbing in your mouth before he even finishes his sentence. Coating your tongue in so many thick, hot shots of white. You hum, moving your fingers from massaging his taint so that you can roll his balls in your palm. 

 Jeongguk’s hand is shaking a little when he brings it down to cup your face, when he gently pulls you off him. His cock still fat and bobbing with the aftershocks of his orgasm. He guides your gaze to his.

 He’s bracing himself above you with his forearm against your headboard, looking down at you a little sweaty and so flushed. Chest rising and falling with deep breaths. He’s got a little smile on his face when he runs the pad of his thumb over the plump of your bottom lip. Your mouth opens instinctively. The little smile on his lips grows before he’s biting it down.

 His thumb presses down on the fleshy muscle, and you naturally let your lips wrap around it.

 “Good girl,” he says, softly.

 His words are tangible, and you close your eyes and you smile as you just let the praise glide over your body. It’s almost like you can feel each letter press a kiss into your skin. 

 Jeongguk’s a copycat as he too presses kisses here and there while he resituates himself. Going from straddling your ribcage to finding his home between your legs. Until you manuver him once more. He’s still home, between your legs, but on his back with you straddling him now.

 Jeongguk doesn’t complain at the manhandling. Just looks up at you, rubs little nonsensical patterns just above the creases of your thighs. 

 “Can we do it now?”

 His laugh is bright and loud at first before he gets a hold of himself, but he’s still smiling as he lets his shining eyes and his hands wander. His fingertips trialing over your skin until his gets his hands to your tits. His thumbs flick over your nipples while he hums, amused. 

 “Now you have to wait for me to be ready again,” he tells you conversationally, still teasing you.

 You pout playfully, letting your own fingers explore, tracing the line of ink where his sleeve comes to an end on his shoulder. “So boring, Gguk,” you jest.

 He scrunches his nose at you. “Why do you think I told you, ‘not yet’?”

 Rolling your eyes, you reposition yourself; less over his torso and more over his hips. “Well,” you start, lowering your pussy down to where his cock lays flat on his tummy, “Waiting doesn’t have to be boring.” You drag your cunt over his still plump, but not-quite hard cock. 

 One of his hands quickly jerks down to get a hold of your hips and stop your movements. He hisses.. 

 He says something about how he never said it had to be boring as you reach between your bodies and get a hold of his half-hard cock. Goes on about how he literally just came and how he needs a second to recuperate as you bring the head to your wet opening. 

 “Can I?” you ask vaguely, interrupting him.

 He doesn’t say anything more, just gives you the littlest nod and he squeezes his eyes shut while you squeeze him into you. He’s not there yet, but he’s still sensitive and its still a tight fit.

 Jeongguk looks down his chest to where you’re sitting prettily on his slowly hardening cock. His eyes roll back slightly before he’s scrubbing one of his hands over his face. “You’re–”

 “Did you watch our video?” you interrupt again. 

 Stuttering a little bit, and winching some, Jeongguk uses the couple of seconds it takes for you to bring yourself down to him, to think. 

 “No, felt guilty… tried to hold out completely but ended up giving in and thinking about you…” he says, his hands finding their place at your hips.. 

 His answer isn’t what you expected but it still has you smiling softly, chest to chest, resting on your elbows, and playing with his hair. “And what did you think about?” you muse, words breathy and flirty.

 Jeongguk’s eyes instinctively dart to your curved lips. “Your mouth.”

 You scrunch your nose at him cutely as you ask, “On your cock?” 

 He gasps when you grind your hips just a little, the movement stiffening his cock up that much more. Jeongguk can feel his cheeks heat up as he shakes his head, the hands he has on your hips moving to your thighs and then back up, squeezing and making little chills crawl across your skin.  

 “On my lips…” he admits quietly, licking them. “Missed kissing you.”

 With a heart that grows fond in your chest, you lean down and give what he missed. Jeongguk sighs into your mouth, melts underneath you. He cranes his neck and the kiss deepens, his tongue slipping in between your lips. It’s not until you having him moaning softly into your mouth that you disconnect from him and make your way to his ear. 

 “Thought about you too,” you tell him, “touched myself to the thought of you missing me; wrapping your hand around your cock with me on your mind.”

 Jeongguk’s fingertips dig into the fatty part of your ass, latches his lips onto the junctre between your neck and your shoulder. He sinks his teeth in just a touch to quiet his moan. 

 The whiny moise that you let out precedes the, “I fanatasized about the way you would fuck me when you came back to me–”

 “I wanted to, but I just felt so bad–”

 “Shh,” you hush him, “Doesn’t matter now…”

 You finally make to move your hips for real this time, but lifting them has you letting out a tiny hiss of pain that’s followed by a cute, airy laugh. “Almost forgot how big you are.”

 Jeongguk’s heart was just tugging inside his chest but now his cock is throbbing inside of you. Even as he wonders if there’s been anyone since him. 

 But once you get over that first hint of pain, past the initial sting of him stretching and filling you up, the only wonder is how Jeongguk survived without you for so long. 

 The light from your blinds peaks through your hair; wild and messy and draping over your shoulder. The long strands almost act as a curtain, hiding you and Jeongguk away. Spots of sunshine come through here and there, and they hit different parts of your body as your body becomes his body. On the tip of your nose, over the curve of your breast, the tops of your thighs. 

 And Jeongguk’s knows he is so fucking lucky. Not because he gets to have you like this –warmed by his touched and sunlight– but because he gets to have it again. Because he gets another chance at having you at all, after fucking it up once already.

 “Gguk,” you pant, “I feel so good right now.” 

 You’ve gone from bouncing on his cock, to griding on it, feeling his tip rub against the deepest parts of you. Your palms are flat on his lower tummy, and when he grabs your hips, helping you move back and forth on him, your nails dig into the muscle. 

 It makes him moan, quiet like the little sounds that you can’t stop making. 

 Jeongguk knows he was basically on the verge of tears just a second ago, but he is still a man and he can’t stop himself from asking, “Who’s making you feel so good baby?”

 He can tell how fucked out and how close you are because of how easily you answer him. How being stubborn and bratty doesn’t even seem to cross your mind when you moan, “You, it’s always you.” 

 Pulling you to his chest and fucking up into your cunt is much sweeter than it probably seems. He does so to be close to you, to feel your chest against his, to feel how your body shakes as you get closer, to feel how you bury your face into his neck to try and muffle your moans and cries.

 “Yeah–” you sob into his skin, “you’re gonna make me cum– please– please, can I cum?”

 Your words come out staccato and irregular, punched out one by one by his cock as he fucks you faster. But Jeongguk doen’t say anything yet, just focuses on the slick sounds your pussy is making everytime he bottoms out, on the feeling of his cock sliding in and out of the slick, velvety heat, on how his fingers sink into your ass as he squeezes and tugs and pulls your cheeks apart to bury himself as deep as he can when he cums with you. 

 “Fuck, baby cum for me,” Jeongguk pants, his words a little rushed as he feels it all come to a head, “Cum all over my fucking cock while I cum in your pussy.”

 You don’t say anything when you cum, and neither does Jeongguk. Both cumming with nothing but gasps. Your’s sounding sweet, almost awed, as you just let your cunt squeeze and contract around Jeongguk’s cock, almost like you forgot you could cum that hard. Jeongguk’s are more guttural as his cock throbs, pulsing with each shot of cum he pumps into your pussy.

 ~~~

 “Your roommates are actually terrifying.”

 The voice makes you smile, laughing sleepily, eyes closed for just a moment longer before you turn your head to see a dishevelleddly dressed Jeongguk, holding a single glass of water in his hand. 

 He shrugs off his blazer that he’s wearing over his briefs (you’ve helped yourself to his button up), and sits next to where you’re laying down. He nudges you his foot till you sit up and take the water from him.

  It’s a content type of quiet while you both pass the glass back and forth, sharing. It only last for a minute or two before Jeongguk is clearing your throat.

 “So… what happened to your plant, hmm?”

 He must have seen the pitiful looking succulent in your living room when he went to get the water. And you know he’s just messing around and that he only said it to strike conversation and fill the silence, but still, it makes something ugly stir in your gut. 

 “You didn’t remind me,” you say, trying to literally shrug it off and give the topic a quick stop.

 But Jeongguk is giggling as he says back, “Oh, so it’s my fault?”

 “Everything is your fault.”

 It’s snappy and said with enough bitterness that Jeongguk is physically taken aback. But then he thinks and then he softens.

 “Hey,” he says gently.

 You look at him, eyes swirling with a mixture of anger and hurt. 

 Jeongguk brushes a little bit of your hair out of your face as he looks you over. “I know,” he acknowledges quietly. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am, but I hope with some time, you’ll be able to see it.”

 You frown a little before giving him a sad small smile and you bring your hand up to cup his cheek. He turns into the touch and gives your palm a soft kiss.

 “I know you’re sorry,” you tell him, “I know you are and I forgive you –my head knows that but– my heart is still sad.”

 Something about how you say it reminds Jeongguk of how young you are. But not in the way it did before. Not like your youth is a burden, or a red flag. It just reminds him that he needs to be careful with you. 

 “I know, and that’s okay… I know it’s going to take time,” Jeongguk gives you a sad, yet understanding shrug.

 And for once, it’s a good thing that time does what time is meant to. It passes and it allows things to grow; for things to heal. 

 “Speaking of time,” you say, lightheartedly trying to change the subject, “How long do I have you?”

 “As long as you want me.”

 Jeongguk’s reply is met with the most underwhelmed, flat stare you have every given him. He snorts before he says, “Till tomorrow afternoon– I have to pick up Nari.”

 His heart feels like it’s going to explode in his chest when he sees how your eyes light up at the mention of his daughter, at how you jabber on with questions about her. How has she been?, Is she talking yet?, Does she still have that narwhal?

 There’s a chance that he might regret it, but there’s also a chance that he might not. 

 So he asks, “Do you want to come with me?” 

 ~~~ 

 However long Jeongguk said it takes to get to his ex-wife’s house, all those months ago, escapes you.

 But right now, it feels like 10 years and 10 minutes all at once. 

 It’s dramatic, yes, how terribly you’ve been fidgeting in the passenger seat of the Mercedes. Even Jeongguk’s big, warm hand petting at your knee can’t quell the nerves.

 It’s making the atmosphere tense, and you feel bad when Jeongguk sounds like he’s walking on eggshells when he tells you, “Thank you for coming with me, I’m really happy you did.”

 You feel even worse when you respond with, “I don’t think I want to go to the door with you.”

 The ever-soothing hand on your leg stutters for barely a second before continuing just as it was.

 “That’s totally fine,” he assures you, eyes on the road and one hand on the steering wheel. “You don’t have to, but if you change your mind, you can. It is your choice.”

 The hand squeezes your thigh reassuringly. 

 And it’s quiet for the rest of the drive. Until Jeongguk is pulling into an empty spot in the driveway of a very big, very nice house. Right next to a Porsche. 

 “Of fucking course.”

 “___.”

 “No, you’re right,” you say, raising your hands appeasingly, “You’re right, I shouldn’t even be surprised–”

 Jeongguk interrupts you with his hands on your cheeks and his lips on your. 

 “Shut.” He gives you one kiss. “Up.” He gives you two kiss.

 His affection makes the tension in your body dissipate and your shoulders slump. “I’m sorry.”

 With his thumbs rubbing over the apples of your cheeks, he gives you a small, understanding, patient smile. Then he asks if you’re sure about not coming to the door with him because he is stupid. 

 You tell him as much as you reiterate how you do not want to go to the door and this time, Jeongguk is the one raising his hands in surrender as he exits the car.

 Leaving you alone with your thoughts.

 Should you get out of the car? Wait inside? Should you have brought Nari a gift? Will she remember you? What if she doesn’t?

 When you hear a distant, familiar baby-giggle, you end up opening the door and standing between Jeongguk’s car and Dasom’s. You feel a little dumb until you hear the pitter patter of little feet on the brick driveway. 

 “I have a surprise for you Nana,” you hear Jeongguk sing cutely.

 And you hear Nari gasp excitedly in response, even cuter.

 As the pair get closer, you can see Jeongguk’s top half over the car, how his arm is swinging back and forth because of the tiny hand that’s holding his where you can’t see.

 Nari is dressed in a black jumper dress with a long-sleeved heart-patterned shirt on underneath when she pops out from behind the car and next to her dad. Kept warm from the slight chill in the air by her knitted tights and her teeny-tiny ugg boots. She’s still round, but she’s gotten taller and you coo softly to yourself.

 But Nari hears the little noise you make and when she sees you, she stops in her tracks. Her little bobble head looking between you and Jeongguk. Then she’s tugging on her dad’s pinky that she’s got a hold of.

 “___!” she says as she nods towards you, like she’s letting Jeongguk know that you’re right there. She sounds sure, almost a little bossy. Doesn’t stutter even a second to remember you. Kind of like she never forgot you. 

 “Ah– what’s with the nodding missy?” Jeongguk tuts, then he looks at you and shakes his head exasperated yet amused. 

 Nari has the nerve to giggle, a big girl no longer brought to tears by her daddy’s scoldings. She looks up at him grinning before she shrugs, like she doesn’t know what got into her. As she raises her little shoulders, her free hand comes up too for emphasis. And gripped tightly in her little hand is her stuffed narwhal. 

 You’re happy.

~~~~~~~~~

aaaaand SCENE. omg heyyyy long time no see girlfriends <3 i hope that u think this was worth the wait but am debilitatingly scared that it did not meet ur expectations so i am hiding <3 im sorry for how long it took but it is here now n that is all my tiny hands have to offer!!  i would love to know what u thought, so please do al the things: reblog, like, comment, send an ask~~ thank u for waiting for me and for reading ily muah :*

[almondamaretto]

dumb

matt sturniolo x afab!reader

summary: matt thinks you’re too smart for him, so he decides that he needs to fix that

warnings: smut 😼😼, dom!matt, p in v, unprotected sex (don’t do that), praise, dumbification kink???

for u nasty bitches with a dumbification kink ahem me

also im writing this 1000% stoned out of my mind so it's gonna be extra juicy trust. not proofreading ts !!! 🫶🏼😋

✄┈┈┈┈

You flutter your eyes awake as a low vibration from underneath you echoes through your head, a hand is gently caressing your head, the other being thrown around in emphasis.

Blinking the sleep away from your eyes and raising your head, your blurry vision is met with the black fabric of Matt's sweater.

You give his waist one last tight hug, before pushing yourself up and settling next to him, yawning dramatically.

Stretching your arms up, you reveal a small sliver of your skin from underneath your hoodie; immediately a wandering hand finds home around your waist, causing goosebumps crawl over your skin.

Enjoying the teasing touch of Matt's jewelry-ridden fingers, you avert your attention to the theatric and passionate discussion in front of you.

"No, I'm telling you, the moon landing is not real! Because, like-" Nick sat at the edge of the couch eagerly.

Cutting his brother of mid rant, Matt's hand gripped your waist slightly tighter; "No, cause like...why haven't they been back to the moon in all these years!?"

"That's a good point"

"That's what I'm saying!!"

You shake your head, furrowing your brows "What the fuck are you idiots talking about?"

"Y/n."

"Chris?"

"Do you believe in the moon landing?" You frowned, stuttering over your words for a moment. "You don't?"

"Y/n, just think about it! Its been, what, 50 years since Neil fuckin' Armstrong supposedly 'landed on the moon.' So why haven't we been back?"

"And don’t say its a money problem."

"Would you guys like some reasons?" You were always careful to ask before sharing your extensive knowledge---no one likes a know it all.

Watching the three of them nod, you sigh and lean back into Matt's side, crossing your legs over his, biting your lip as his hand fell onto your thigh.

"The main reason we ever went to the moon in the first place is because of the Cold War and the Space Race, 'cause America wanted to prove that they had the bigger dick and shit. That means it was super funded back then---over time NASA's funding went down."

Matt's cold rings press against the warmth of your thighs as he alternates between caressing the length of your thigh and kneading the plush skin of your upper thigh.

"But they could've saved money over time to do it!"

His hand travels further up your leg, threatening to breech the hemline of your shorts.

"They spend all their money on- ahem-on satellite stuff and tech-technology." You lift your outside leg to hopefully block the sight from Nick and Chris.

"N-not to mention they have to get the, the uh- timing just right to avoid landing on craters."

Quickly shooting your hand down to grab Matt's, you swallow roughly as his knuckle traces a circle over your clothed clit.

You see him smirk from the corner of your eye, silently cursing him.

"I don't even care that you have good points, I'm sticking with its fake."

When you don't respond, focused on hiding Matt's curious fingers, Nick and Chris alike are confused.

"You good, Y/n?"

"Girl... you look so focused that you kinda sorta look like you're ‘bout to throw up..."

"Yeah, Y/n/n. You doing okay, baby?" Matt smirks through a teasing voice.

Glaring up at him, you gather your words and place them carefully as his fingers snake under the band of your bottoms.

"Sorry, my head is just hurting from sleeping earlier. I may go to bed soon." You lie as your hand grips his tighter.

A warm hand is pressed to your forehead, followed by the clicking of a tongue.

"You feel warm, pretty. Lets get you to bed." Matt plays into the lie quickly.

Nick almost audibly gags from the other side of the sofa, gathering his stuff and stand. "Okay, after that I need to get away, I'm going to bed."

"Wait, what? You're just leaving me? Alone? Nick I'm coming with."

The pair's arguments grow faint as they climbed the staircase, Matt all but dragging you to his room, quickly closing his door and locking it.

He brought one hand to your hip and the other to the back of your neck, pulling your body flush against his. His lips fervently found yours, kissing you roughly as he walked you backwards.

The backs of your knees met the edge of his bed and you fell backwards onto the plush surface, bouncing up and down a few times as you watched him rid himself of his shirt before climbing on top of you, his lips attaching to your neck

You hum sweetly and wrap your arms around his back, one hand reaching up to rake through the hair on the nape of his neck.

His hands trace your sides diligently, squeezing the plush skin of your thighs as he caresses them, lighting every inch of skin on fire.

"So good, Matt."

He kisses his way back up to your lips, slipping his tongue into your mouth as it opens in a gasp from his hand snaking under the hem of your shirt and grabbing your breast.

Melting into his touch, one hand grips onto his brown locks, trailing your nails lightly down his bare back with the other.

His tattooed arm trails up your front, hand finding home loosely wrapped around the base of your neck causing you to let out a whine into the heated kiss.

A trail of saliva connects the two of you as Matt pulls away from your lips, grabbing the end of your shirt and lifting it over your head.

His pink lips immediately attach to your right nipple, low whines falling eagerly from your bruised lips.

Pulling away briefly, he brings two fingers up to your mouth, resting them on your raw-bitten lips. "Suck" he demands simply, pushing his digits into your mouth, pressing down onto your tongue.

Matt continues to trail kisses down your sternum and stomach, leaving slow, teasing kisses just above the band of your shorts.

A teasing finger dips below the band of the blue striped shorts, pulling it away from your skin and letting it snap back into place. A whimper to fell from your filled mouth, prompting matt to press down harder on your tongue.

“What did I say? Thought you were supposed to be smart, baby” He teases condescendingly, lips still trailing down your front, leaving a slow and unsatisfying kiss right where you needed him most.

Your cheeks pull in as you suck on his fingers, humming out a whine as you mentally urge him to stop teasing.

As if he can read your thoughts, he pulls his now slick fingers from your mouth, using both his hands to smoothly slide your shorts and panties down, tossing them across the room.

He sits up, taking a moment to admire his girl, hooded eyes raking up and down your body with desire. "So perfect... my perfect girl."

You relish in his praise, avoiding his eyes in embarrassment as you try to cover yourself.

His large hands quickly find yours, pushing them down to your sides as he flattens himself against his bed, head hovering over your sopping wet folds.

Your hands fought against his hold as he nips at your inner thighs, soothing his marks with his tongue.

"Matt, please" A breathless moan escapes from your pleading mouth, causing him to stare up into your eyes, a smirk on his lips.

"What do you want, mama? Say it." He demanded, sucking a harsh mark just a few inches from your needy core.

"Fuck, Matt. I need you, need your tongue, please baby." Your right hand broke from his hold, immediately gripping onto his soft brown locks. "Good girl" You tug and exhale an audible gasp as he finally flattens his tongue against you, causing him to hum out a moan.

Matt traces shapes his name on your sensitive bud, occasionally wrapping his lips around you and sucking harshly, chuckling as your hips buck against his face in pleasure. He could die a happy man delving in your slick folds.

One arm pins you down by your hips, the other starting to circle your dripping hole in tantalizing strokes.

His actions quickly turned you into a moaning, whimpering mess, your babbling only spurring him on.

The once teasing circles turned into a quick thrust as he stretched you out, fingertips curling up into you, hitting that spot inside of you.

"Oh, fuck! Matt, fuck, fuck, fuck."

"Feel good baby? Huh? Use your words." He said, pulling away for a brief moment before continuing.

The all-too familiar knot formed in the pit of your stomach; "So cl-"

As you began to speak, his movements became rougher and faster, forcing a near pornographic moan from your beat-up lips.

"Hm? What was that, ma?"

Both of your hands bury themselves in his thick hair, tugging as he fingered you roughly.

"God, m'so--fuck, Matt. I'm, m'so-so close!" You struggle to get out, hips pushing against his flexing arm as he pulls you to the edge, finally pushing you over with one last flick of his tongue.

Lower half shaking, you try to catch your breath, quickly finding the task difficult as he relentlessly continued to fuck you with his fingers. Your thighs close around him, but he still continued, prying them open with his other arm.

"Too much! Too much." You think your whine falls on deaf ears but he slowly pulls away, leaving one last quick kiss on your sensitive clit.

Matt traces gentle circles on your thigh as you come down from your high, only stopping to remove his sweatpants and boxers, sitting on the edge of the bed and stroking himself slowly.

Your eyes drift to the sight and, biting your lip with droopy eyes, you slowly rise out of the bed, using his knee as support as you kneel in front of him.

His hand came down to gently hold your face, thumb caressing your cheek before pulling your bottom lip down, letting it bounce back into place as he pulled away. He gripped his length in his other hand, guiding it down to your pink lips, tracing them as he bit his own.

Opening your lips, you allow him to slowly enter your mouth, tongue swirling around the tip and doing circles along the bottom.

Your head bobs up and down as his fingers thread into your hair, a low moan escaping from your throat.

After a few moments, his grip tightens as he forcefully moves your head up and down on him as he pleases, a whiny groan falling from his pretty lips

"Don't have much to say now, do you mama? All choked up on my cock. Y'look so pretty takin' me down your throat."

Tears threaten to fall from your eyes, swallowing roughly around him as you try not to gag—he only grunts louder.

He presses your nose to his trimmed thatch of hair for a few seconds, roughly tugging on your hair to pull you completely off him, gasping breaths escaping from your abused mouth.

Staring down at you in admiration, he smiles at your heaving chest and water eyes staring back up at him “So perfect, doll.”

He pulls you back up, immediately pushing you back on his bed and attacking you with hot, open-mouthed kisses trailing from your stomach to your lips. He rubbed his throbbing length against your slick folds, not missing the way you gasped against his lips.

Without warning, his hips push forward, splitting you open and eliciting a loud moan from your lips.

Your walls immediately clench around him, hearing a strained grunt fall from his throat

“Fuck, mama. Won’t last if you keep that up.”

You don’t respond, words dying off in your throat as his hips meet yours with a quiet noise.

His arms wrap around your thighs, pulling you impossibly closer to him as his thrusts increase in speed and intensity.

Your words tumble out of your mouth like alphabet soup, stuttering and gasping and hiccuping instead of stringing together sentences.

“Not so smart now, hm? Can’t even form your words, poor dumb baby.” He mutters sinful nothings into your ear, pushing your thighs into your chest as his tip brushes against that spot.

A long whine escaped from you at the feeling, manicured nails digging into the skin of his back and tangling themselves in his chocolate locks, tugging.

The pain only encourages him to continue, busying himself with creating marks all along your chest and neck. He could listen to you desperate whines and moans all day, your delicious whimpers never failed to make his eyes roll to the back of his head.

A knot began to form in your stomach, and the world seemed to slow.

As you begin to tighten around him he slams his hips into yours at what seems like an impossible pace, tip kissing your cervix with each thrust.

“You gonna cum pretty girl? Tell me. Tell me what you need” He brings his thumb down to toy with your sensitive clit, watching with a smirk as you struggle with your words.

“G-gonna, mm-fuck! Gonna cum, Matt! P-please let me cum!” You cry out head falling against his plush, silk-covered pillow case as you urged yourself to hold it in.

His thrusts become uncoordinated, showing he was nearing his climax.

“Did-fuck, did so well. Cum for me, mama, let it all out” He serenades you with his strained voice, grunts threatening to become whimpers.

The knot inside you snapped, causing you to yell out in a moan that definitely upset both Nick and Chris and the neighbors.

You saw white as you release all over his cock, legs trembling with your orgasm against Matt’s hold.

He fucks you through your release, afterwards thrusting once, twice, three times, before pulling out and shooting white, hot lines across your abdomen, hushed moans falling from his pink lips.

You feel a few kisses being placed on the sides of your face and forehead, along with Matt’s heaving chest pressing against yours.

“You did so good, baby. Did I go too hard?” He asks concerned, brushing stray hairs out of your face and tracing your jawline carefully.

Shaking your head, you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him down onto you “no, made me feel so good.” He smiles at the tired, fucked out voice you sported.

As much as he wished to stay in that position forever, he lifted himself off of you, despite your protests.

“Just gotta get you cleaned up, mama. Then we can lay here ‘till the sun burns out.” He said while picking up a random shirt and wiping you and himself off.

After taking care of you and making sure you both were comfortable and clean, he crawled under his warm comforter with you and attached himself to you, nuzzling his head into your neck.

Scrolling on his phone, he clicked on his unread messages.

Chris

Y’all are nasty

12:57 am

Nick

Go to a hotel next time cause what the fuck.

1:12 am

[pupyuj]

gamer g!p yujin x fem!reader 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕 im so down bad for yujin SORRY

i come bearing a very self-indulgent and specific gift for this prompt hehe 😈😈

see, i'd make yujin a loser here cuz ya'll know why BUT i thought it'd be fun to make her a cool n sexy gamer bcs only ahn yujin can pull that off 😼 anyway, she'd love making you play her games!! yujin has the brightest smile on her face when you sit down on a separate chair beside her while she's gaming and ask questions 🥺 and she falls even harder for you when she notices how well you listen to her while she's explaining stuff like the nerd that she secretly is ☺️☺️ yujin would probably be a pretty popular streamer too! she's pretty, she's funny, she's actually good at every game she plays, and she can talk really well even through the screen and the camera!! her viewers love catching you standing behind her, completely immersed in her gameplay that you don't say anything—they think you're so cute 😭 the two of you are probably a popular ship on twitch LMAO 😭

and now comes menace gamer bf yujin who makes you play her games while you're sat on her lap,, being the pervert that she is, she has her hands all over you while you're trying to learn,, of course yujin only does this when the cameras are turned off—she doesn't want anybody to see you in ways only she's allowed to. she rubs your nipples through your shirt, but you don't even notice at first bcs you're so focused on the game, what a cutie :(( you finally take notice of the sensation when yujin pinches on them, making you let out a small gasp that always sounded so fucking good in yujin's ears,,

she definitely fondles your tits underneath your shirt while she whispers instructions in your ear,, knows how much it's affecting you by the way you shivered and tried your hardest to hold back your whimpers but is a bit annoyed bcs you're so well in the game still?? 😭 and god,, she's always making sure that your position on her lap is perfect with your ass right on her bulge,, it makes everything easier on her part,, gently puts her hands on your hips and starts grinding up slowly,, exaggerates her moans just to get your attention, gives you that shit-eating smirk-smile she always has on when she knew she was getting inside your head.. and then she gets really fucking annoying 🤭🤭

yujin slipping her hand inside your shorts to rub your needy clit through your panties, still grinding on your ass, lips right on your ear while she whispers, "my good girl's gonna complete this level for daddy, right?" guys what the fuck i need her—

and ofc you have no choice but to nod and whimper :(( and oh, how she fucking loves that 😩😩

yujin knowing what exactly gets you to do whatever she wants to make you do.. "sit on my cock. if you do well enough maybe i'll fuck you, but if you don't... you're not coming at all tonight." and being the pathetic slut that you are, you obey! cockwarming yuj while you try your hardest to play but she's making it so hard :(( between her small, slow thrusts from time to time, fingertips barely brushing against your clit, a semi-hard grip on your thigh, and the soft moans that left her mouth every time you adjusted yourself a little bit... how could you not lose control of yourself?? 😣

barely a second after completing the level and you immediately drop the controller on the floor.. yujin grabbing you by the back of your shirt, pulling you into her and pressing her fingers against your clit hard, making you moan loudly and grab onto her wrist, "so good for daddy, aren't you?" yujin says against your ear,, fuck she'd lick from the crook of your neck to the spot behind your ear just to hear your sweet moans,, yujin doesn't hesitate to manhandle you either! especially when she's desperate to fuck you like this.. throwing you down on the couch with your ass up and face buried on one of the couch pillows, but she pulls your hair so your voice could fill the air while she pounded you from behind 🫣 gawd... her one hand holding your waist in a death grip, muttering curses as well as your name while she fucks into you with her big dick :((

"just like that.. fuck yourself into my cock—god.. good girl..!"

"that's my girl.. move, (y/n)..."

"you like daddy's games, huh..? don't worry, we'll get to play more.. so much more.. f-fuck! i'm.. c-coming—"

looking behind you just to see the sight of yujin's pleasured expression with her eyes shut tight and teeth biting her lip while sweat drips down her perfect neck.. 😳😳😳

[strnilolover]

what was ditsy!reader and player!chris' first argument about? i want detail 😼

(this might not have the best of detail, it’s late and i’m tired af and i have to go back to work tmr. fucking kill me 🥹)

The soft hum of music played in the background as the party bustled with energy. People were everywhere, filling the house with laughter, conversation, and the occasional offbeat karaoke performance. Angel lingered near the snack table, munching on a chip while scanning the crowd for Chris. He’d disappeared sometime after introducing her to his friends, and she was starting to feel a little out of place.

Her fingers fiddled nervously with the edge of her cup. She wasn’t used to these kinds of parties, but Chris had insisted she come along. “You’ll have fun, angel,” he’d said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Promise.”

But now, with no familiar face in sight, her nerves were starting to creep in. She was about to text him when a burst of laughter caught her attention. She turned toward the sound, her eyes landing on Chris near the kitchen. He was leaning against the counter, a drink in hand, and… smiling at a girl.

The girl was tall, beautiful, and draped in confidence. She laughed at something Chris said, placing a hand on his arm. He didn’t move away — in fact, he leaned in closer, his grin widening.

Angel’s stomach twisted.

He’s just being nice, she told herself. Chris was a natural flirt, even when he didn’t mean to be. But then she saw the way the girl tilted her head, the way Chris laughed at something she said, and the way his hand brushed her elbow as if they were sharing some secret joke.

Her chest tightened, and her feet moved before she could think.

“Chris?” she called out, her voice soft but tinged with an edge she didn’t recognize.

His head snapped up, his smile faltering when he saw her. “Angel! There you are,” he said, his voice bright, though there was a flicker of something — guilt? — in his eyes.

The girl turned to look at her, raising an eyebrow before smirking. “This your… girlfriend?” she asked, her tone dripping with something Angel couldn’t quite place.

Chris nodded quickly. “Yeah. Angel, this is… uh…” He paused, clearly struggling to remember the girl’s name. Angel didn’t wait for an introduction. “Can I talk to you for a second?” she asked, her voice shaking slightly.

Chris hesitated, glancing at the girl before nodding. “Of course.” He followed her out of the kitchen, the noise of the party fading as they stepped into a quieter hallway.

“What’s up?” he asked, his tone light, as if nothing was wrong. She crossed her arms, her gaze dropping to the floor. “You were flirting with her.”

Chris blinked. “What? No, I wasn’t.”

“Yes, you were!” Her voice cracked, and she hated how small it made her feel. “I saw the way you were looking at her, the way you—” She took a shaky breath. “You touched her arm, Chris.”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Angel, I wasn’t flirting. I was just talking to her. You know how I am — I’m friendly with everyone.” he tried to argue.

“That’s not an excuse,” she said quietly, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “You didn’t even notice I wasn’t there, did you? You were so caught up with her…” Chris groaned, his frustration starting to show. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like that, okay? I wasn’t thinking. I’ve had a couple of drinks, and—”

“That doesn’t make it okay!” she interrupted, her voice louder now. “I don’t care if you’re drunk or buzzed or nothing at all. It hurt, Chris. It hurt seeing you like that with someone else.” Her words hung in the air, heavy and raw. Chris stared at her, his expression softening as he realized the gravity of what he’d done.

“Angel…” He stepped closer, reaching out to touch her arm, but she pulled away. “Do you even care?” she asked, her voice trembling. “Or am I just another girl to you? Someone you’ll flirt with until you get bored?”

His heart sank at the look on her face. He’d never seen her like this before—so hurt, so unsure of him. “Of course I care,” he said firmly. “I care about you more than anything. I’m sorry, angel. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was stupid, okay? Drunk and stupid.”

She looked at him, her eyes searching his for the truth. “Do you mean that?” He nodded. “I do,” he said without hesitation. “I mean it with everything I have. You’re not just some girl to me. You’re my angel. My everything.”

Her bottom lip started to tremble, and he stepped closer, cupping her face gently. “Please don’t cry,” he whispered. “I hate seeing you cry Angel..”

She sniffled, leaning into his touch despite herself. “You really hurt my feelings, Chris,” she said softly.

“I know,” he murmured, pressing his forehead against hers. “And i’m so fucking sorry.”

For a moment, they stood there in the quiet hallway, the distant noise of the party fading into the background. Slowly, she nodded, her heart aching but willing to forgive. ©

“Okay,” she whispered. “But you can’t do that again. Ever.”

“I won’t,” he promised, sealing his vow with a kiss to her forehead. “Never again.”

© strnilolover

[larcenywrites]

Now… how do you think Sabretooth will be as an S/O?

I worry about writing for him bc idk if I can capture him properly… but! We can try to dabble around with a few ideas!

Sabretooth x Reader

Warnings: some pretty mild NSFW | no pronouns given to reader | there might be some typos pls let me know if so!

🐈 Honestly who knows exactly how you even managed to become his plaything s/o in the first place….

🐈 Perhaps he even, uh, acquired you!

🐈 Even so, I think Victor will surprise you! Despite the claws and fangs and being muscularly massive, he can be pretty gentle 💛

🐈 Loving? in his own way, sure! But traditionally? Not really 😅

🐈 He probably doesn’t smile much, he probably doesn’t say very much half the time…

🐈 But hopefully you can do all of that for him instead 😉

🐈 Okay, he does smile, but it’s probably more soft and neutral 😇

🐈 And even when he is trying to keep his one more soft and quiet, it’s probably still pretty neutral and gruff

🐈 You probably aren’t ever going to know where he picked up that trinket or ring or whatever the hell else you may find around your bed (and probably don’t want to know), but you can rest assured knowing that he thought of you when he saw it :) yet probably won’t even acknowledge it next time you see him… but if it’s something wearable, he’ll still definitely spy it on you 😌

🐈 I wouldn’t necessarily say he’s a cuddler, but more of a space invader 😼 Sitting on the couch? He’s directly pressed next to you with his arm around you but he’s just there. Not saying anything, not doing anything… really just- go on about your business reading or whatever, he’s just fine where he is!

🐈 In bed, it’s probably a similar situation. Honestly I hope you’re a stomach sleeper because it’ll probably make it easier for both of you when he suddenly decides to come lay on top of you 😅 He’ll hardly even acknowledge it or do anything else! Arms not really wrapped around you or anything. He’s just- there!

🐈 Though, he obviously has his sweeter moments! Sometimes he’ll simply lay his head on your stomach or chest or lap 🥰

🐈 Don’t be afraid to pet his head and play with his hair. He likes it 😘

🐈 Tbh if you roll over to spoon him (aka trying to just wrap yourself over him because he’s likely still bigger than you), he’ll probably growl a little 😔

🐈 Not in a mean way! It’s a soft growl! He’s probably just a light sleeper and maybe it’s supposed to be more like that little acknowledging burr sound cats make when you pet while they’re dozing off!

🐈 And let’s be real, it’s hot even if it is a warning growl 😏

🐈 This isn’t to say he isn’t a cuddler to an extent under the right circumstances! But those circumstances are typically related to him just getting jealous and possessive 🙄

🐈 He can smell whoever’s been hanging around you, and can even smell if they were happy, sad, or horny! He’s usually pretty unhappy about it 😒 and vocal about it 😒 especially if it’s someone he knows and doesn’t like (which is damn near everyone it seems)

🐈 But hey, at least this means that you’ll actually get cuddles in bed tonight! Arms wrapped around you and everything 😃 he’s probably also halfway on top of you buuuuut what are you gonna do? Push him off?

🐈 Obviously the bed isn’t just for sleeping 😏 But when it comes to sex, I don’t think loving and extensive foreplay is usually at the forefront of his mind 😅 besides he… can’t really do much with those claws 😬🫡

🐈 I mean… he technically could… but only once 🤧☝️

🐈 And when he’s in the mood, he’s probably not typically doing the whole handsy stuff…

🐈 He’s probably just going to bite you. Like some kind of overstimulated cat. Right on the shoulder too 🤕

🐈 And he’ll be very smug about it! You’ll swear he only smiles when he’s being a prick in some way!

🐈 You better hope you won the genetic lottery and got some of those regenerative genes or the like because otherwise, you’re definitely just going to have bites all over you 😮‍💨 fangs and all! He’s not shy about where he bites! Thigh? Sexy. On your forearm for no fucking reason? Fun! Neck? Sexy 😏 on your ankle while your legs are on his shoulders??? Now you’re just being annoying 😤

🐈 You’re asleep at 3am in bed? Doesn’t matter. If him crawling onto the mattress doesn’t wake you up, him biting your shoulder definitely will 😒

🐈 His sex drive probably is really high? Like sure, once you get him going, he’s an animal, but he probably isn’t initiating anything every day. Cut him some slack, the guy’s over 200 years old!

🐈 But that probably just depends on his partner as well 🤔 Not necessarily because he’s adaptable, but Victor can smell everything remember? Read something that made you even slightly horny?? He knows and he’s probably on it 😏 So he probably just responds to his partner’s needs!

🐈 You know, bath time is probably pretty great! Sure less stinky is a plus 🤧 but he definitely loves to be bathed 😘 beside it’s probably less hassle for him anyway considering the claws…

🐈 Which also means he probably won’t really be able to bathe you back 😔 you have enough claw marks as it is 🤭

🐈 But lowkey he likes to be taken care of 🥰 he won’t admit it, and he’ll probably play it as more of a I’m high and mighty sort of thing (which is also true!)

🐈 He’s not usually tense. A beast like him never has a reason to! But… he probably does get anxious about like, what he does… all the enemies he’s made… and how it’ll affect you ☹️

🐈 probably avoids bringing up any of that stuff around you, even though there’s, like, no way you don’t know… you just don’t know any specifics.

🐈 Can’t decide if he feels better having you at his mansion or at your own place :( He’d say both are dangerous, but that’s not really it— he’s dangerous 😔

[jaeyunluvr]

like what if yn is tired and jay is on the couch, legs stretched watching tv. then yn changes to little shorts n sit between his legs, yn's back on his chest. little cuddles and then his hand slowly reaches her 😼 little no's or stops from yn but ofc she actually dont want him to stop. THAN HE LOCKS HER LEGS WITH HIS LEGS AND OPEN THEM MORE AND KEEP GOING

like im dead

BAE I WILL KISS YOUR BRAIN OMFG also it's fine we're all here because we're horny😋

warnings :: SMUT MDNI, clit rubbing, neck kisses, use of petnames

jay actually loves it when you wear shorts considering how his mind is half the time 'yn's thighs yn's thighs yn's thighs yn's thighs yn's thighs'

you find him on the couch sitting like that and his manspread made it seem like the perfect chair for you so you went and made yourself comfortable on his lap, as jay adjusted so you could sit better. also you could be in his arms so it's a win-win.

his arms wrap around your waist and you continue to watch whatever was playing on the television as you melt under his touch, but that was until you felt a pair of lips trailing fluttery kisses down your neck.

having you on top of him like that, your ass pressed against his clothed cock was triggering the arousal in him.

he snuggles his face into your neck and his hand reaches down into your shorts. his fingers, slip your panties aside effortlessly.

"jay stop?" you say hesitantly.

he just dismissed your words and runs his fingers up and down your clit.

you squirm under his touch and restrict his arm from continuing his actions.

"jay please-"

"shh, just enjoy it princess." and you sigh at his deep voice that reverberates through his chest to your back.

he lifts his feet off the floor as he tangles them with yours, curling them over your calves and spreads your legs open to give him more access for movement.

he rubs circles around your folds and you're already wet. he rubs your wetness all over your folds, sending shivers down your spine.

you let out a whimper at the growing heat that pooled between your thighs.

he alternates between circling the brim of your hole and rubbing your bud.

you moan at the slow pace until you get impatient and so you speak.

"jay please..."

"what is it, princess?"

"please- faster, I need your fingers inside me please."

"then let's take this to the bedroom shall we? I'll help you relax my darling."

[ghulehunknown]

Papa Headcanons - 💋💑

Day 15 of KINKTOBER is here! 🎃

**WARNING - NSFW**

Also available on AO3!

My headcanons of ~lovemaking~ with the Papas

Primo

Perfectly content to lay on his back and watch you ride, too old and tired to do anything wild and crazy

Had lots of wild sexventures in his youth and is happy to have missionary or cowgirl sex for the rest of his days

Refers to the act as “making love” for general sex, or “fornication” for a quickie

Always conscious about wearing a condom

Lots of kissing and cute pet names

Rarely, if ever, says he loves you but treats you so sweetly you know he does

Switch but mostly a pleasure dom

Won’t stop until you cum

Surprisingly gentle touch

Painfully aware of the size of his member and makes sure to ease into you and makes sure you’re very wet and ready for him

Secondo

Prefers to let you ride him but he controls the motions and speed from the bottom

Also loves spooning you so he can reach around to your front

Has a good read on facial expressions and can generally tell what you’re in the mood for and pays attention to your body language during sex

Comes prepared with toys, lube, condoms, dilators, and other accouterments

Loves to play with your nipples

Leaves you one of his button down shirts to wear afterwards

Indulges in a cigar or cigarette, or a glass of whiskey, in bed with you after

Almost always a dom and will play it rough when you want it

Easily makes you cum multiple times

Wants to service and be serviced by his sub

Loves facefucking you

Terzo

Romantic gestures- lights lot of candles, spreads rose petals on the floor and bed, dims the lights, draws you a bubble bath, sends you roses or a lunch delivery at work

Seduces you all day through texts which include “So what are you wearing? 😼” and “Wanna fuck?”

Has an extensive toy collection

He calls the act fucking but definitely adjusts to the mood/vibe depending on whether you want it slow or fast

Desperate to get you off multiple times

Won’t let himself cum until you have at least once before him

Studies your body’s reactions so he knows when you’re about to have an orgasm

Gets turned on by turning you on

LOTS of foreplay and lots of lube

Consistently asks if you’re comfortable

Likes to switch positions a lot

LOVES doggystyle because it makes him feel bigger

Is relieved when you say you’re on birth control but has condoms in his room and office just in case

Loves cumming inside you but also loves to spill his seed on your chest and see how much you milked him

Switch, but can easily adapt to whatever works in his partner dynamic

Cardinal Copia

Finishes quickly and is a little ashamed about it but is assured when you tell him it’s okay and you know he’s just so turned on by you that he couldn’t help it

Sniffs your underwear you left in his room the night before to get hard again and anticipate the next time

Nearly cums his pants just during the makeout session pre-sex

Carries a condom in his wallet

Wants you to undress him

Surprised and overjoyed if he makes you cum but often confuses your moans as orgasms even if you haven’t yet

Keeps asking “Is this okay?”

Acts like a Casanova IRL but when it’s just the two of you he gets a little shy

Not sure how to incorporate toys but is willing to try

Popia

He absolutely calls it “making love”

Has clear distinctions between just fucking and lovemaking

Absolutely loves facing one another on your sides, one leg hooked over your hip to press you up and down on his cock, so he can look you in the eyes and kiss your face

Loves missionary too

Almost more excited for foreplay and the chance to see you naked than (penetrative) sex

Whispers “I love you, I love you” while kissing your face

Switch; wants to fuck you and also get fucked

Proud if he can get you off multiple times in one session

Can sense if something is wrong or you’re uncomfortable and will stop immediately

Lowkey begging you to peg/top him since you started dating. He’s never tried it but wants you to dominate him

Enjoys cumming inside you because he’s never felt closer to another human than in that intimate moment. The first time he said he loved you was when he came inside you for the first time

[super-bitter]

All I Need

Tags: drunk!satoru, cheating, clothed grinding, needy!satoru, gn!reader.

“Can you picture it?” Satoru murmured on the nape of your neck, “me n’ you together.” His hands travelled down the sides of your body, pinching and pulling the flesh.

Empty shot glasses littered the floor as Satoru clung to you like a magnet clearly intoxicated. Your hands played with the carpet below you as you let him have his moment.

“I’d take care of you so good,” he bit your earlobe, “you’d forget about anyone else but me. Only my touch, my taste, my scent, would be on your mind.” He breath reeked of alcohol and strawberry lollipops.

“Satoru, seriously no. You have a wife, end of story.” Unconsciously, you leaned into his touch. Your mind swam with different emotions, shame, embarrassment, and most of all arousal.

“So what? I never loved her anyways. Not even close to how much I love you,” his hips gently rocked against your backside. “You feel what you do t’ me, baby?” His breathing became laboured as he pressed you harder on his bulge.

“Please, help me out this once, [name],” he whimpered. “Wanted this for s-so long.” He wrapped a strong arm around your waist while his other hand tilted your chin towards him.

“Kiss me,” he pecked the corner of your lips, “I need it so bad.” Satorus tongue wiggled between your lips egging you on.

“W-wait,” you blurted out, “Satoru…are you sure? We seriously should not be doing this I cant stress this enough.” Someone had to be the responsible adult here and you didn’t want to be the newest home wrecker in your city.

“[name], look at me, I’m like this all from the thought of–“ he broke off with a moan as he palmed his pants, “the thought of you on top of me..”

You swallowed yet your throat felt like sand paper. Fuck it. The you of tomorrow can deal with this. You grabbed a half drunked glass from the floor and gulped it down.

“Well, you know what to do Satoru. Strip.”

———

potential part 2? whatre we thinkin chat😼

[the-massive-simp]

HI can i request alhaitham x fem reader with multiple orgasm denials pretty please 🥺🥺🥺🥺(and other kinks too idm anything!)

have a great day :3

a/n: recently i'm starting to appreciate this know-it-all slab of meat and his undeniably juicy pecs, so here you go anon 😋

warnings: mdni, smut under the cut. porn with basically no plot, afab reader, panties pulling, fingering, orgasm denial, pussy slapping, punishment, oral (f receiving), squirting, slight degrading, dom and jealous alhaitham. kavetham x reader at the end hehe (risa this one is for u😼)

Your whole body is tense, a natural effect of the worry for whatever punishment Alhaitham had planned for you. He saw you talking with some other guy, twirling a strand of your hair between your fingers, and immediately felt a cold feeling pooling in his chest. When you got home, he grabbed you by your arm before you could say anything and pulled you on his lap on the couch. And now you're here, back to his chest, his thighs keeping your legs wide open while he pulls your panties up, looking at the way your folds leaked at his actions. "Alhaitham..." He gives another tug to your panties, making you mewl. "Shut up. This is what you get for being such a brat. My attentions and Kaveh's are not enough for you? Do you need to flirt with other men?". "I wasn't -" He interrupts you by ripping your little panties and throwing them somewhere in the room. "Lying will only make your punishment worse. Take it without complaining, and there won't be other consequences. " You sigh, knowing that he wasn't going to change his mind, and relax a bit in his embrace, before he spanks your pussy, making you gasp. He shushes you, rubbing your clit and smearing your wetness all over your folds, before slapping your clit again, one, two, three times. Then he mercifully starts playing with your clit, rubbing and circling it, continuously changing pace and pressure. He pinches it sometimes, making you jolt and whimper so prettily on his lap, working you closer to your orgasm. Your moans get more frequent, your body tenses up, your pussy twitching, and then he just stops. "No 'Haitham please- I need it-" You pant, feeling your climax just out of reach, trying to buck your hips into his hand, but he places it on them to keep you still. He ignores every plea that leaves your slip, only starting to touch you again when he knows your peak is far again. He goes on with this little game of his for what feels like hours. He plays with your clit, inserts his digits inside of you to press on that spot that makes you see stars, rolls and pulls your nipples, bites your neck before soothing the slight pain with kisses. When Kaveh finally gets home, your fluids have dripped on Alhaitham's lap and on the couch a long time ago. You hear the blonde drop the keys (that he actually didn't forget for once) in the bowl at the entrance before making his way to the living room. When he sees what's going on, he leans on the door frame, smiling at the view of his lovers on the couch. You look at him with big, teary eyes, silently begging him to put an end to your torture. He looks at Alhaitham, who nods to give him permission to finally make you cum. The architect then quickly walks to the couch, kneeling in front of your dripping and twitching pussy, immediately sticking his fingers inside of you and latching his lips on your puffy clit. He sucks on your sensitive bud, curling his fingers inside of you, while Alhaitham takes your nipples between his fingers to stimulate you even more. They quickly work you to the edge of your climax, only intensifying their actions when your body starts to twitch uncontrollably, your thighs squishing around Kaveh's head, your head thrown back on Alhaitham's shoulder. Streams of a clear liquid come out of your cunt, greedily drink by the blonde man. You slowly come back from your high, only to realize Kaveh has unzipped his pants and is slowly jerking his cock in front of your hole.

"You didnt think it was over, did you?"

[nightlyrequiem]

HI HIHI i hope ur well!!! I would LOVEEE to make a very self indulgent Valeria request, so basically I am an autopsy tech and embalmer/mortician and I think it would be a cool plot like Valeria’s gf works with her and helps her out with all the bodies that she has to deal with basically. Id love for her to have a very feminine personality like a lil bimbo wife that is lowkey covered in blood 90% of the time lmao. And for the plot itself im not very creative ill sorta take anything fluff or smut mostly 😼 but its my birthday in like a week so ill leave it in your hands hehehe

HIIIIIII! I'm doing well, hope you're doing well too!! It's actually kind of funny that you request this because I have a thing in progress where Reader works in a morgue! Such a cool job btw

I enjoyed writing this, I did a little research but there might still be some inaccuracies I hope there aren't too many 🥲

Happy early birthday, too! I hope it's an amazing day <3

Tags/Warnings: WLW, Very Minor Graphic Depiction of a Corpse, Fluff, Suggestive Themes, Smut, Pre-Established Relationship

Embalming and Bows

You hum to yourself as you prepare the cavity embalming fluid. Trocars connecting to a man's hollow organs doing the work to suction out unwanted fluids. A cheery song with questionably sexual lyrics plays quietly while you work. The man on your table hasn't been handled with the usual respect you'd award corpses. You haven't even closed his eyes. He crossed Valeria. Stole drugs, or something. You aren't actually sure. Doesn't really matter. You're embalming him for her so she can display him outside as a warning. Slowing down the decomposition process long enough for the point to get across. You've done this for her a few times. Happy to support your partner's hobbies.

Your pink apron has a few stains. Blood as well as other things. Hands grip your hips, startling you into dropping the scalpel you just picked up.

"You've been down here for hours." Valeria murmurs into your ear. You smile and turn your head to look at her over your shoulder. 

"I'm working." You reply. No bite to your voice. Valeria is always welcome to come interrupt you.

"Yeah?" Valeria hums, glancing at the man. "How's that going for you?"

You pull away gently and bend down to pick up your scalpel. Intentionally giving Valeria an eyeful of your panties. A short skirt isn't ideal to work in. But you're not technically on the clock and you felt like dressing cute today. "It's going fine." You reply, looking at the corpse. "I'm almost done. Just need to finish the cavity embalming and then he's good to go."

Valeria nods approvingly. There's a gleam in her eyes as she watches you move around. You're done draining him, so you begin to pump in the embalming fluid. 

"Quite the lengthy process, you should walk me through it sometime." Valeria says.

"I'd love to." You grin, eager to share your career with her. "It's a bit of a long process, even more when you're preening them."

Valeria moves closer and presses against you. "Oh yeah?" She hums.

"You're going to get all gross." You warn. Some of those stains aren't stains yet. Valeria lowers her head and presses a small kiss against your throat.

"A little blood never hurt anyone, in fact I like it when you're covered in it." She replies, voice dropping an octave. "Tell me more about the preening, sounds sexy."

"Not at all." You shake your head, slapping her shoulder playfully. "I have to shave off the peach fuzz on their faces, wire their jaws shut, clean them, close their eyes, and sometimes do their hair and makeup."

Valeria peppers your throat in kisses.

"I'm sure the makeup bit is enjoyable for you." 

You carefully peel off you gloves and chuck them at the trashcan. Missing terribly. "hm. You should let me do your makeup sometime." You say. Valeria grabs the backs of your thighs and hoists you onto the counter. It's cold under your bare skin. She steps between your thighs and sucks a bruise into the skin of your throat.

"You can do my makeup whatever way you want when I die." She offers. She's making a joke, but you don't find it very funny.

"I don't like to think about you dying." You scold. "Nobody wants to embalm their own girlfriend."

"Have me stuffed then, my other girlfriend is a taxidermist. She'll give you a discount."

You don't find those jokes very funny either. You gently push her away and hop off the counter.

"Not funny. Just for that you're not getting any tonight." You check on the body, making sure everything is going smoothly - that there are no leaks in the tubes. It was a nightmare to clean them the last time there was. The smell lingered for a week.

"I'm kidding Mi pequeña tanatorio." Valeria says. "That skirt looks very good on you." She very tactfully changes the subject. You beam at her from over your shoulder.

"Thank you, I bought it yesterday, along with a bunch of other things." You say. Turning to face her. "I found this new, super cute store full of the most beautiful dresses I've ever seen." 

"And how much did that cost you?"

You begin to start putting your tools away. "It costed you nine hundred-fifty."

Valeria quirks a brow.

"I don't recall you asking to spend my money." She says. You blink at her innocently.

"Oh, whoops!" You grin. "I guess I'll just have to take back all those low cut, form fitting dresses... shame, they did wonders for my tits." You turn back around, filling up a tub with bleach to clean some of the incision tools.

"You don't need to do all of that, Corazón." Valeria dismisses. "You'll just have to repay me."

"Yeah?" You reply with a sultry tone. "How would you like me to repay you, hm?"

"You'll see soon."

A week passes by. Your efforts have kept the man decently fresh, but nature's will is stronger than any embalming fluid and soon the man begins to rot. You and Valeria pass under the bridge he's hanged from as you walk back to her car. You're fed, full, and content. Valeria treated you to a very nice restaurant for your birthday. Presenting you with gift after gift in a secluded corner. smiling at your girlish gasps. Valeria is of course carrying the bags and boxes they came in. You're limping slightly, your heels having chewed blisters into your heels, but you ignore the pain. Excited by the gifts and dinner, and what's going to be occurring when you get home. Dinner, gifts, and sweet sex to end your night.

Back in the bedroom, you shed your heels and sigh in relief. Freeing your feet from their pretty, arched prisons. You sit back on the bed while Valeria lights a few candles and sets your presents on the floor beside the closet. She approaches you while loosening her tie, it's enough to flood the silk of your panties. She crawls onto the bed toward you.

"Had fun?" She murmurs. Grabbing your thighs and pulling you towards her.

"I did." You reply quietly. Wrapping your arms around her shoulders.

Valeria's lips curl into a small smirk. 

"Good. Lay back."

You comply, laying back against the feathery pillows. Heat pools into your lower stomach as Valeria sits up and removes her pants, chucking them off the bed. Her belt clatters against the floor. You watch her reach into the nightstand, grabbing a harness. You snake a hand between your legs to lightly tease yourself. She straps it to her hips and moves over you, reverently running her hands over your arms.

"You're so beautiful." She whispers. Hands gravitating towards your breasts. Valeria gives them a gentle squeeze as she kisses you. One hand slowly moving down between your bodies. She grabs ahold of her silicone cock and aligns it with your entrance. Knowing you're already worked up enough to not need that much preparation. She buries her face into your neck as she slowly pushes in. Sinking herself into your wet heat. Your inner walls work to pull her in deeper, sheathing her to the hilt. 

Valeria pumps herself into you. You moan into her ear without shame as the head repeatedly bumps into that one sweet spot inside of you. Your legs lock around her hips and pull her closer. Your own hips canting up for a deeper angle. Valeria fucks you sweetly. taking her time with you. One of her hands has found its way to your clit. Fingers toying with the sensitive bundle of nerves expertly.

"I should fuck you in the morgue someday." She growls.

"That's a weird thing to want." You moan, barely getting the words out. Valeria pulls you up into her lap. Thrusting up into you, she can't feel anything but clearly, it's doing something to her anyway. Her panting breaths puff against your neck, her hands digging into your lower back.

"Why? There's something so erotic about doing you somewhere I shouldn't."

"Like when we-" You cut yourself off with a whine. "When we fucked in that bar bathroom?"

The coil in your lower abdomen grows tighter and tighter. You rut against her, chasing that release, your slick trickling down the shaft.

"Exactly like it." She replies. "Are you close?"

You nod, nosing along her neck. You can feel your mascara running. "Mhm."

"Good, that's good." Valeria coos, her strong arms keeping you close to her. Black hairs tickle your face and you reach up and lightly tug them. "I want you to come for me."

With her permission you thrust your hips down, mind clearing of everything but the big pink strap currently penetrating you. You shut your eyes and let out a guttural groan, creaming around Valeria's cock.

She pumps it into you a few more times before going still. Sweat coating her neck and back. You slump against her and she slowly lays you down. quickly detaching the harness. You relax into the soft blankets of the bed while Valeria shuffles around with her pants. The bed dips as Valeria lays beside you, lovingly touching your jaw.

"Happy birthday." She whispers, kissing your forehead. You mumble back at her. Soaking in that post-sex high. "You still need to repay me for that money you spent, though."

You furrow your brows. "What?" You mutter. Not bothering to open your eyes.

"You can't just spend that much without giving me something in return." She replies, a smile in her voice.

"I embalm people for you." You mumble defensively. "How else am I supposed to repay you?"

When Valeria doesn't reply you open your eyes. Stunned into a momentary silence. She has a small velvety box presented to you. A seven-carat diamond ring glittering in the candlelight. You shoot up, mouth agape.

"You can repay me by agreeing to be mine forever."

Your hands fly to your mouth. "You're proposing?"

Your question wins you a dry look from Valeria. Yes, she's proposing. You had always imagined this moment. You in a carefully put together outfit, perfect hair and makeup, Valeria down on one knee. It's not exactly the same as your fantasies but you're happy, nonetheless.

You smile gleefully and kiss her.

"Yes!" You say excitedly, voice bordering on a squeal. Valeria chuckles and slides the ring onto your finger. Watching you immediately start inspecting it. Turning your hand this way and that to watch the diamond sparkle. "It's gorgeous." You gush.

Valeria pulls you back down beside her. Sighing tiredly as she rests her chin on the top of your head. "I'm glad you like it, happy birthday Corazón, I love you."