#Poseidon would think it’s funny as shit

[sarafangirlart]

The other Kronides watching Zeus flirting with an oblivious Hera:

“What are you doing biological bro?”

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

random percy headcanons:

wants to be the photographer friend SO bad and he technically is but like 70% of the pics come out blurry or weird bc there was a monster attack in the middle of them. his instagram is truly so chaotic looking.

literally always has seashells on him someone will ask him for a pencil or spare change and he has to empty all his pockets of shells to find it. drops his backpack and a bunch of shells fall out. kicks his shoes off and sand and shells fly out and his mortal friends are like percy What the Fuck

his eyes glow underwater!! bioluminescent king. no one told him though and he didn't find out until he joined his school's swim team and terrified everyone (he managed to convince them his contacts were having a weird reaction to chlorine lmao)

he really likes art!! he doesn't just pretend to for rachel's sake he genuinely enjoys painting with her. he likes splatter paint, collages and pop art styles the best. one day after splitting some edibles they realized percy could manipulate water colors and went CRAZY with it

will ask to be excused during class and comes back like an hour later with scorch marks all over his face bleeding from one of his ears covered in dust missing three fingernails rips in his jeans and a fat lip and the teacher is like percy what the actual hell were you doing in the bathroom all this time and he's just like uhhhhhh I have ibs

the brand from camp jupiter did unfortunately (for sally) Unlock something in him lmfao he keeps getting shitty little tattoos. usually stick-n-poke but someone's friends cousin's girlfriend's brother has a gun that gets brought to parties every now and then. most of them are sloppy but you can tell what they are HOWEVER he has one that was supposed to be a seal that came out looking like one of those shitty ms paint crying memes. annabeth laughed at him for ten minutes straight when she saw it.

he wanted to dye his hair blue but he was too chicken to bleach his entire head so he just did the tips. his hair is curly though so it looks absolutely ridiculous but he loves it

percy and annabeth get a crusty little yappy white dog in college and he carries it around like a baby lmao

back to his chaotic instagram, he's got so many pics of him like, relaxing at the bottom of the mariana trench or hugging a giant squid or riding on a whale shark and his mortal friends all think he's just really good at photoshop and this is a very specific bit he decided to commit to. they're always like lol percy where do you even FIND these pictures are you subscribed to like scientific journals for the laughs? but no he just took them all on his shell phone

has an ongoing prank war with annabeth's little brothers bobby and matthew but like it's Unhinged. they're playing 5D chess and she has no idea whats going on

weird tshirts!!! he loves them! like

shit like this or those 'women want me fish fear me' shirts, anything with a funny or incomprehensible slogan is going in his closet right along with his band tees lmfao

bought estelle a panda pillow pet when she was born 🥺

can NOT bring himself to eat seafood no matter how many times poseidon has told him its fine. he's like NO these are my FRIENDS JONATHAN WAS TELLING ME ABOUT HIS GRANDDAUGHTERS WEDDING LITERALLY YESTERDAY WHY IS HE ON A PLATTER DAD. they had to give up and just start eating normal land food at the palace every time he comes to visit lmfao

gets into horsegirl antics with hazel she NEEDS to know everything the horses have to say. they spend hours gossiping in the stables.

movie nights in the poseidon cabin were 10000% a thing and when he was missing annabeth and thalia and grover (and a few others) would still sleep in there every now and then and talk about how much they miss him :(

percy and beckendorf had the worlds most elaborate handshake

he DOES impulse buy stuff just because they're ocean-themed. stuffed animals, home decor, school supplies, clothes, you name it he bought it if theres like a fish on it

has more scars from crashing off his skateboard than he does from monster attacks

grover is somehow the only person who's ever noticed percy is severely claustrophobic

has a deep passion for adele. I can't explain this one I just feel and know it to be true.

he and annabeth both proposed to each other at the same time and they were SO mad about it they kept yelling over each other's speeches lmao

he can SING but he doesn't know it. sally keeps trying to record him singing to himself but something always happens to the camera and she loses the evidence

called chiron a brony one time and mr d thought it was so funny he was nice to percy for an entire week

the camp keeps trying to convince him to teach sword fighting lessons to the younger kids but he can NOT bring himself to swing a sword at a 9 year old so he keeps getting injured

has the most complicated iced coffee order in the world his go-to local coffee shop finally just put the damn drink on the menu and named it after him

he IS the quiet kid in the back of your math class that always has his hood up to try and hide his headphones and eats increasingly elaborate meals out of his backpack when the teacher isn't looking. one time someone caught him with a rotisserie chicken in the middle of a geometry final.

he argued that he DID have enough to share with the class

currently obsessed with the image of him knocking back a container of sea salt as if it was a shot and his mortal friends being like hey! what the actual fuck! and he's just like uhhhhh anemia kills!

its his birthday<3

[a-person-on-the-internet]

Epic the Musical AU where post-vengeance-saga Poseidon becomes mortal because he got tortured so hard that he lost his godhood temporarily (I imagine it lasts til Ody dies). And then he ends up in Iythica, and Odysseus is entirely too done with this shit and doesn't want to be dealing with this. Poseidon doesn't want to be dealing with this either, frankly, and Penelope isn't exactly delighted by the situation, but none of them really have other options at the moment.

There's multiple myths where various gods (including Poseidon) lose divinity and live a moral life, so I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility, and also it would be REALLY FUNNY. Or angsty, if you're more into that - I can see some really sad drama and hurt/comfort from Odysseus having Poseidon even more at his mercy than ever before, and also from Poseidon being lowkey forced into having open arms.

This also could totally be ship or not, I don't really have a preference either way. On one hand, the drama works well without romance and Poseidon being forced to third wheel Ody and Penelope is hilarious, but on the other hand... god made mortal and the canonical torture and the reversal of power dynamics is REALLY HOT.

[mer-acle]

do you have any headcanons about the other gods?

Lol naturally hehe (that's also so much lmao)

I think I'll just try to add one for each Olympian besides Athena and add links if I already made bigger posts about them. (The non-EPIC gods might get a little shorter)

Zeus: Makes the biggest gestures, in debate, at dinner, just whenever he's talking. It's great for who's sitting next to him (usually Hera and Athena respectively) bc who doesn't love being almost hit in the face every two seconds?

Poseidon: Involves himself in arguments all. the. time. Nobody cared, nobody asked, he knows like half of the facts and has no idea what the problem is but SURE shout along.

Hades: A lot more measured and chill than his brothers, but lets himself be drawn into debates and he CAN get pretty heated if the arguments get too nonsensical.

Hera: Has a massive garden and tends to it herself. It has a peacock fountain and stuff, it's really beautiful.

Demeter: Will 100% cry if she gets a gift from one of the kids.

Hestia: The best. Gives people a bit too much space sometimes. Like, yes, all her nieces and nephews are stubborn but some of them really could need a venting session or a hug down the line, but she just leaves them be. (It is not her responsibility but she wouldn't mind them venting, she just assumes they'll come themselves)

Athena post here.

Hephaestus: Is actually a really good singer (we're not talking musical world rules where everyone can sing, normal world) Like mostly it's too loud in the forge but he sings to himself anyway and he has a good voice.

Aphrodite: Is an amazing swimmer. Basing this on her ocean-born creation myth even though I am more of a fan of her being Zeus' kid for my own version. For the same reason, I always picture her with pearls

Ares post here.

Artemis: In council, I believe she's the most confrontational actually. Yes, more than Athena. Athena lies to get what she wants. Artemis doesn't live on Olympus, she just comes for the council meetings so she might as well speak her mind even if it means the meeting is even more chaos than normal. In general, she never backs down from what she believes in.

Apollo post here.

Hermes: God of eavesdropping and gossip. Seriously. Do you really have to know every single thing that's going on? Also I think his funny persona is a coping mechanism but it's so deeply ingrained it would be literally impossible to shed.

Dionysus: Randomly says the most insightful shit you've ever heard. Like, Athena is speechless levels of deep stuff. Like... is it because of the drugs or is he on drugs because otherwise his being would transcend the universe, we will never know.

__________________________________

Okay that was fun hope you enjoyed :D

[aroaceleovaldez]

Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.

Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.

Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.

Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.

[genericpuff]

Wait, if Hera hated nymphs, does that mean she had beef with Poseidon's wife???

Who knows, but it does shed a whole new light on this scene from Episode 1:

Like, in the context of the scene, it's clear the point of this interaction is to highlight how "lonely" Hades is that he's the only one at the party without a date. Though I do think it's funny that Hades is frustrated / shocked at the revelation that Poseidon brought his wife to a party that she would presumably be invited to attend, like... of course Poseidon is here with his wife, that makes Amphitrite royalty by extension and so at the very least she'd likely be obligated to attend even if she, for some reason, didn't want to go.

So Hades being like "GOD you mean I'm the ONLY UNMARRIED GUY without a DATE???" like yeah man that's what it means to not be married LOL

But in hindsight, knowing what we know now about Hera being cruel to satyrs and nymphs who are canonically lower class (making it a double whammy of racism AND classism) that interaction of Hades asking Hera if Poseidon brought Amphitrite right after Hera called Minthe "nymph trash" almost feels like Hades calling her out, to which she responds sheepishly, "... Yes."

Again, I know that's not the intention of this scene, but it does come with deeper implications now that the series is over and we know that Hera has a history of racism and classism which largely goes unaddressed.

And those implications kind of read like this:

Hera: "I, for one, am grateful! I don't have to spend the evening with that nymph trash :)"

Hades: "Did Poseidon bring his (oceanid) wife?"

Hera: "(・_・;)... yes, okay, Poseidon brought his wife, Amphritite, but she's not nymph trash or anything, she's one of the good ones!"

Again though, just food for thought that's kinda messed up and kinda funny to think about on re-reads. There's so much classism and racism baked into LO even from the very beginning and it's wild that it wound up going unnoticed for years. Even I didn't really notice it as much as I ought to have when I first started reading. To anyone who's new to the series, LO does a good job at bombarding you with colors, characters, Greek myth references, and feel good fluff moments between H x P to distract you from the often biased and outdated viewpoints in its narrative.

TBH, none of that is to say that Rachel herself is some massive racist for writing a story like this, but I do think she didn't really spend enough time analyzing the works that clearly inspired her and/or challenging her own inspirations to ensure she wasn't continuing the cycle of casual racism. It's really easy to be blissfully aware of your own biases if you never learn to address them, especially when it comes to writing fantasy stories which we tend to "disconnect" from real life, never once realizing that the messages and undertones we might accidentally be sending are often still realities for many people in real life today. Fiction isn't real life, sure, but it can still perpetuate some really dog shit thought patterns and subconscious beliefs if left unchecked, which LO is frankly full of especially upon re-reads with a more critical eye when you're not as likely to get distracted or swept away by the pretty colors and whirlwind romance.

[witless-winion1]

Reread your fic and it got me thinking:

God Games reprise/parody but it's the crew in the afterlife discussing whether to help Odysseus during 600 strike. Different arguments and stuff but same musical structure.

After getting Perimedes but to the tune of the Aphrodite name intro in God Games stuck in my head, I need to share this concept with someone. Uh, Polities is Athena and the one in Odysseus's defense. Eurylochus gets Ares' bit (the Ares, Ares intro chant is Euryl-ochus). Elpenor gets Apollo's part. Idk who the others are. Zeus's bit is Hades because they're trying to convince him to let them leave the Underworld temporarily to go kick his brother's ass (except he's not a sore loser).

oh my god

oh my god

OH MY GOD

OH MY-

HOLY SHIT THATS-

wiaitwoaiyeaitwaitwaitwait

H A N G ON

Thank you for rereading my fanfic!!! :)

I feel like Eurylochus would be better as Hephaestus because he has MANY MIXED FEELINGS that cancel out to become a real emotional neutrality, like Hephaestus’s stoic neutrality, and both are one push away from deciding in the other’s favor. Does that make sense? I’m incomprehensible when excited

There’s not enough named men in EPIC to fill every role, so we might have to get…creative…

Thank you, you’ve cursed my brain to loop ✨~Periiimeeddeeesss~✨ or elPEnor 🦜

Zeus- Hades

Athena- Polites

Apollo- Elpenor (argument: Ody didn’t care enough to notice when he died on Circe’s island) (counter argument is that he was stressed tf out and still high on moly, he wasn’t great at counting heads, also it was Elpenor’s fault for getting drunk, like how Athena basically says “the sirens were trying to kill him, you dolt”)

Hephaestus- Eurylochus (the argument is literally the same as Hephaestus’s, but he’s on the verge of tears) (Poli just kinda murmurs something about it being many people’s fault, including Eury’s, and then hugs him, and Eury just barely chokes out his agreement)

Aphrodite- Perimedes (argument: is sacrificed six men to Scylla! And he gestures to six traumatized souls in the corner— counter argument is that there was no other way unless they’d all rather get thrashed by Poseidon instead of only six being eaten by Scylla) (or maybe he just points out how stupid it was to fix himself to the Cyclopes, and Poli goes “..a guy can make mistakes, can’t he? He’s just a man…”

Ares- ……an older, gruffer solider that’s bitter with Ody for just giving into Zeus’s demand to choose instead of using his Buff Brain like he has been this whole time (with the counter-argument that it’s LITERALLY ZEUS, KING OF GODS)? Or Hades pulls up a Trojan guard/solider that got killed, but idk how Polites would convince him…

Hera- I’m thinking either a) Persephone (because Zeus used his wife and also Persephone wanted to be included and Hades wasn’t gonna tell her no), and she’s already kinda “I’m fine with letting him go but I wanna mess with this funny little pancake boy” or b) a killed siren that Hades fetches, but he accidentally grabs a younger one that had no idea what was really happening during the massacre and is really confused so she just goes “uh-um, who? Some guy who wants to get home? Sure go help him but first you gotta sing with me” (like Hera’s disco battle)

it’s be fun if we could add Tiresias, Anticlea, or Astyanax in, but that probably wouldn’t work because

Tiresias- I can see him being irritated by Ody screaming in his face like an angry owl; he would be a good option, but I can’t see him fitting anywhere here

Anticlea:- are you kidding? That’s just Hades rigging the game in Polites’ favor. She’d say “YES GO GET MY BOY BACK HOME. EVERYONE’S WWAAAAIIITTIIIINNNNGGG FOR HIM” before Polites could even open his mouth. The entire verse would literally just be harmonizing the Waiting motif.

Astyanax: it’s a baby.

I’m actually so tempted to write the song or a fanfic about this, bestie you’re a fucking genius I hope you understand that

if anybody has any ideas or points, please please share them!!! This is such a cool concept

[zagreusapollyon]

I am once again back with my Percy and Neptune brain rot. Because apparently being normal about them isn't an option.

I was just thinking, do u know how funny it would be to see a custody battle between him and Poseidon on who gets Percy.

Neptune is probably an insufferable asshole about it, like he will yap Poseidon's head off every second of the day.

Poseidon: *in a meeting*

Neptune: ur the reason our child is suffering.

Poseidon:

Poseidon: I am *this* close to renting a place with our father.

Bro will not stop, and to spite him, Poseidon just gets incredibly clingy with Percy, constantly smooching his head and giving him gifts.

Percy is confused, not complaining though, who's he to say no to parental affection.

Just for shits and giggles, Paul is gonna get stuck in this mess.

[tanoraqui]

I watched the new Percy Jackson show and then I reread The Lightning Thief, and my takeaway is…Rick Riordan did some sort of bizarre reversal of the usual adaptation devil’s deal on this one, wherein the key themes of the book are maintained—hell, key themes of the book are amped up and forefronted! The books slowly escalate, not just in the original PJO books but from series to series through Heroes of Olympus and the Apollo books, the idea that this mythological family is fucked up, the parents are doing badly and they need to fix their shit instead of just putting it on the kids. Whereas the show is saying this from day 1! The show also captures the true friendship, the uncomfortable justification of Luke’s choices, the heroes’ sense of otherness from humanity…

But at the cost of so much of the zing of the books? The humor, the absurdist snaps between fantasy and reality like the Minotaur wearing Fruit-of-the-Looms, or the unending quips from Percy that aren’t just rebellious snark, they’re funny. (“…I am the Mother of Monsters, Echidna!” “You mean the thing from Australia??”) And the drama, the fantasy, the mythological stakes—in addition to the total lack of nighttime lighting, I spent half the show thinking everything should be 20% more color-saturated, at least when they’re in Camp Half-Blood or actively fighting monsters, and rereading the book tells me that I was right. Throughout the books, there’s a mounting thunderstorm all across the country, as warning and ambiance of the coming war! Percy only has 1 dream that’s just darkness and a voice; the others include him watching a golden eagle and a giant white horse fighting viciously on a beach! And every god stands out vividly, whereas in the show they mostly come off as Some Guy. In the book, Hades, Zeus and Poseidon are all 10 feet tall (until Poseidon shrinks to tall to Percy), and even Ares is,

vs this? This was the best they could do??

He’s not even throwing fireballs at cops and innocent bystanders in order to make them back the fuck off from his fight with this 12yo. SMH. This is bargain-brand. It’s like they didn’t have the budget for special effects and they didn’t even try.

I guess, as devil’s deals go, I would rather have the themes intact. But damn I wish they’d at least upped the color saturation, and maybe the speed of dialogue. These kids SHOULD spend half their conversations snarking like it’s Avengers (2012) actually. The perfect adaptation remains elusive, until we get both the crushing weight of familial trauma AND epic heroes and villains being fun.

[northlt03]

Rick is known to mirror myths a lot (Silena-Clarisse and Patroclus-Achilles, Polyphemus' cave, Hercules' labors, etc) He could and SHOULD have mirrored the Trojan war in HOO.

Let me set the scene. Gaea doesn't pop up until the last couple books. It's easy to be scared of something that is mentioned but not seen, which in my opinion, is why Gaea in the HOO books just wasn't scary enough.

So the antagonists in the first few books are the Giants working under Gaea's orders. Percy is kidnapped by them and given to the Romans in the hope that the Greeks and the Romans will go batshit crazy in a fight and forget all about the prophecy of the seven and destroying Gaea or whatever.

Camp Halfblood is fully ready for war. As soon as they find out (through an oracle or smth idk) that the Romans exist and they have Percy, not even Chiron can stop them. Percy is the hero of the Battle of Manhattan, of course, and the hero mentioned in the last great prophecy. He's like their modern Aristos Achaion.

Meanwhile, the Romans have no clue what's going on. There's this guy he's funny, he has no memories, he just shows up at their wolf goddess and trains and gets sent to them. Cool.

Juno can't stand to see New Rome be attacked. Whether or not they would win is a whole different story. So she plucks Jason from CJ and brings them to the Greeks just for some sort of a balance.

This mirrors the Trojan war in the sense that Troy was a fortified city, so is New Rome with tons of forts and walls. Aeneas' lineage went on to be Remus and Romulus, the founders of Rome. And Helen of Troy was stolen from the Greeks.

Anyway so there's that conflict, but at the same time Camp Halfblood is getting ready to attack, Jason, Piper and Leo get sent on a quest to rescue Hera who has been captured by Porphyrion and Enceladus.

On the way, Jason starts to regain his memory a little bit, though he doesn't know everything yet. He's still super conflicted with everything. A pretty girl thinks they were dating, Leo says they were best friends, Annabeth says the Romans are enemies. But whom should he really believe?

Piper's whole arc through the first book could be about how she's the daughter of the goddess of beauty, she wrongly assumes her fake crush on Jason was her mom's fault. And she's learned so much bad stuff about her mom from myths, she outright rejects feminity and anything remotely girly at first but then slowly she gets to know Aphrodite isn't as bad as some myths make her out to be. Bonding and shit bc why should Poseidon be the only present godly parent?

Leo, meanwhile, has no idea he can essentially fire bend in the first book. His arc could be about discovering his mother's death was his fault, slightly and coming to terms with it with the help of his friends.

Reyna on the Roman's side is freaking out bc Octavian wants to go to war with the Greeks who are close to attacking them, there's a strange dude who keeps trying to pick fights with gods, a horse girl and not to mention monsters won't fucking DIE.

SON trio go on their quest to Alaska to kill Alcyoneus/ release Thanatos and things are getting clearer to them as well. Just when the Greeks are about to attack on CJ, Polybotes and the monsters attack as well. Somehow, both sides end up fighting the monsters together.

They're not friends, but they're not enemies either, bc Percy is reunited with his gf and Jason is returned to his home.

The Roman senate and the Greeks somehow come to the same conclusions- that a quest needs to go to their ancient lands. Over the next few months the work of the Argo II commences.

Things seem smooth for a while. But Gaea grows restless. She poisons Octavian and manipulates him through dreams and stuff like Kronos did to Luke. As is the nature of most Roman emperors, Octavian overthrows Reyna and declares himself the leader of New Rome like his namesake Octavius Caesar. (HAHA! HISTORY PARALLEL BITCHES)

This puts the actual quest on hold bc the seven now need to find the Athena Parthenos to bring together the Greeks and the Romans and to stop Octavian's plan of trying to fuck as much shit up as possible.

Reyna, Nico and say idk, Grover, are the ones to deviate from the quest and bring the statue to USA again. But the Seven are still very much in Europe after rescuing Nico.

Percy and Annabeth fall into Tartarus which helps close the Doors of Death, except this time since Nico isn't there, Hazel has to take on control over ghosts and the dead in the House of Hades and leading up to it. The powers of mist, in my opinion, should have gone to Piper since charmspeaking is a lot like bending the mist verbally.

Piper's arc through the third and fourth book is starting to discover herself and with the help of her mother, figuring out she doesn't like Jason romantically like she thought she did.

Hazel's arc is gaining control over what she once was (dead). She's jealous her dad was there more for Nico than her, but she pushes past it and never lets her anger and grudges get the better of her which is like breaking boundaries for children of Hades/Pluto.

Frank's arc in HOH was really cool, I like that. So no change to that.

Jason, poor guy is still very much confused about everything really. He's used to being the leader, he feels lost in the large group. He has his moments to shine ofc (please take away his excess amounts of head injuries), but he starts to feel inferior, which is where Leo helps him bc the guy knows what that's like.

Anyway, in the absence of Percy and Annabeth, Jason has to take charge. He discovers he doesn't really like it. That's not what he was meant for even though he had greatness thrust upon him at a very young age.

His BOO arc is earlier this time and takes place throughout HOH and BOO. He's content with himself, even if he isn't with anyone. HE'S THE ONE THAT GETS SENT TO OGYGIA!!!

And Calypso eventually does fall for him bc he's smart, nice, and just an overall swell guy. But he helps her to realize that she can be content in herself as well. And he promises her that he'll help her.

Show me Leo, Jason and Percy trying to think of ways of helping the goddess.

In any case. BOO could have been like Iliad pt 2 also known as the Odyssey. It takes them the whole book just to get to Athens. Meanwhile, they've understood that Gaea is the main main villain. She's even raised some of the other primordials against them.

Percy and Annabeth already saw Tartarus, and then there's Oceanus who makes their travel much harder than necessary. Something something about how they get tossed all over the place and somehow manage to gather all the correct ingredients for the potion (i forgot the name lol) on their small adventures in the different places. In the end they finally make it to Athens. Except this time, there's only a few giants there bc they killed the rest before.

Annabeth and Percy are taken hostage, like it happens in the books, but PERCY WILLINGLY GIVES UP HIS BLOOD TO RAISE GAEA RATHER THAN LETTING ANNABETH GET HURT BC OF HIS FATAL FLAW LIKE ATHENA TOLD HIM WOULD HAPPEN EVENTUALLY!!

The Gods DON'T SHOW UP PLEASE!! That was so lameee. Why even do the whole quest if their mommies and daddies were going to show up to help them????

So while Percy and Annabeth are battling the remaining few Giants, Leo, Piper, Hazel and Frank go up against Gaia herself. In the old myths four titans held Ouranos down while Kronos chopped his essence up. In the same way, they battle Gaia away from her turf in the air, keeping her distracted enough. All these demigods are needed because she's a primordial dammit!

Jason, my guy, comes in a clutch, chops her to pieces and sends her essence to Tartarus!!

The world is saved, the end!

[meteor752]

Some silly Odyhermes ideas:

While I see Ody as bottom with Zeus or Poseidon, I think he'd definitely be a switch with Hermes 👀

Odysseus doesn't know that Hermes is his great grandfather, Hermes thinks that Ody actually knows, so he doesn't say anything. Ody realizes the truth only when Hermes tells him a funny story about Autolycus, his demigod, shapeshifting son, and Ody is like "what? that was my grandfather??". Hermes is just confused for a minute.

Hermes is really possessive, despite his silly guy persona. His blood (ichor?) boils when Calypso throws herself at Ody. He gets angry seeing the rivarly between Poseidon and Odysseus, whether it's shippy or not. And he gets annoyed, when Ody talks about Penelope, or spends time with her. He tries to somewhat tolerate her, but he does poor job at it.

Ody doesn't believe in Hermes' story, about baby Hermes making a lyre out of a turtle, and killing the immortal cattle of Apollo. That is, until Hermes "jokingly" wants to show Ody how he did it. He drops it seeing Ody getting flashbacks about Eury killing the cattle. He may be a little shit, but he still cares for Ody, and doesn't want to see him distressed 🥺

Ody usually can't see Hermes' eyes (typical hc in this fandom lol). When he does, it's either when Hermes gets really serious about some topic, or when Hermes is acting like a silly guy in love, making him lose his helmet, when his guard is down. Ody thinks his (probably inhuman) eyes are pretty, but he won't say that.

Hermes, despite everything, is a really sweet boyfriend. Whenever Ody tells Athena about Hermes, she gets snnoyed. Hermes would talk about how cute and smart Ody is, when he's with Hades or Persephone, doing his job.

I thinks that's all of these? I just really like this rarepair 👉👈

How did I become the person people come to for Odyhermes things. Like I don’t mind but like still huh

(Also, I wanna make it clear that while I do love Odyhermes, I love it in like a slightly unhealthy context, with a clear power imbalance and a very obsessive Hermes. That shit’s my jam people)

I once saw someone say that Hermes has the vibe of either a mean dom or a bratty sub, and like I couldn’t agree more, and I say both. He’d probably enjoy it a lot when Ody takes control (even tho he’s being a menace about it), but he also likes putting his mortal in his place

Poor Ody would probably have a bit of a crisis and possibly be a bit weirded out over the fact that Hermes is related to him, and like poor silly guy just has no idea why because his family is basically just incest, he has no idea that it’s seen as bad for mortals. (Ody has even more of a crisis when he realises he’s fucking related to both the Cyclops and Poseidon)

Dude I liiiiiiiive for possessive Hermes (case that wasn’t clear lol). Especially him being extremely jealous at basically every god who interacts with his mortal. He’s more fine with it when it’s other mortals, since he sees the majority of them as “lesser”, but Penelope does get on his nerves occasionally.

Hermes does not understand the concept of PTSD, or why sometimes when he does certain things or mention certain people his mortal gets all distressed and upset, but he does try and correct himself when he can. Maybe he should ask Dionysus about that

I imagine the first time Ody saw Hermes eyes it was by like, complete accident, like they were both a lil drunk and Hermes accidentally knocked into a low hanging branch of a tree, and his lil helmet just flew off, and the messenger god was to busy giggling to even notice. Despite their haunting emptiness (I have always headcanoned Hermes eyes to be just the sclera, which is why he tends to hide them, he thinks they look boring), Ody finds them strangely beautiful. So if Hermes allows his helmet to come off a little more often when with his mortal, or if he “accidentally” forgets to put it on sometimes, well neither of them comment on it.

Oh Hermes will just never shut up about Odysseus. The messenger god is a gossip and a chatter box, so he usually fills the silence in some way, no matter who he’s with, though it’s usually discussions about the happenings on mount Olympus. The moment he met Ody tho, he was all that mattered to him. When he wasn’t watching his mortal, he was chattering about him to anyone who would listen, which is for the most part not a lot of people, as one can only stand Hermes for so long. But even his usual conversation partners, Apollo, Hestia, Thanatos, Iris, Dionysus, grew kinda tired of hearing about this one mortal and his escapades. Wing boy don’t care tho, he will hover after his targets, chittering away, until they either attack him or try to rip their own ears off. That won’t stop him though.

Odyhermes shippers, feel very free to rant to me about the ship. This is a safe space and I love having you here, even tho I’m confused. We’re scarce but we’re strong!

[cynthiav06]

With Percy, we know that he hates going to school and his goals don’t really line up with Annabeth’s, but Annabeth is kind of forcing him to do it with her because he can’t say no to her. Say Rick didn’t make Annabeth Percy’s entire personality, what do you think he would’ve done in the mortal world rather than go to university?

I was checking my drafts cause I am trying to catch up on all the asks in my inbox ( as I said in one of my earlier posts I was in middle of a medical situation so I have at least a month of backlog) and found this draft.

The funny thing is I had already written most of the post in the draft version, and this ask wasn't even being displayed in my inbox, so I was very confused as to when it was from.

But it's such a good prompt and a sort of controversial question in the fandom, so I wanted to post it asap.

Percy doesn't like studies, but he knows the importance of it, so I am sure he will finish his initial college, probably either in the science or arts section. We know at one point he got better grades than Annabeth at one point so he certainly isn't quitting studies and doing way better than what people expect. He also wouldn't like just staying at home and doing nothing (I am looking at certain Percabeth stans here), so he definitely would be doing one job or another.

1.

I don't think he would study marine biology like most believe. After a conversation I had with someone who had taken the course, I am convinced Percy wouldn't like it. It's heavily based on chemistry, and we know how much Percy is affected by sea creatures being mistreated or caged, so having to study marine biology wouldn't really be something he would choose.

2.

An interesting twist would be if he chose to be a writer like his mother.

We all know that Percy writes or at least dictates and narrates the first five books, which are written and narrated entirely from his perspective. Moreover, there are books on Percy just narrating his own sarcastic takes on Greek gods and Greek heroes. What if he did actually catalogue his own adventures in those books as a sort of manual for other demigods on how to deal with certain monsters and gods and such.

Through Percy's thoughts, even as 12 years old, we can certainly say he has advanced vocabulary despite being dyslexic and given how much he admires Sally, why wouldn't he be interested in following her footsteps. Sure, he has trouble reading, but that's not to say he wouldn't love expressing his thoughts through humorous retelling of his own adventures which he can pass as fiction to normal readers but actual experiences in demigod world. Who doesn't want to know the exploits of Percy Jackson?

Plus, it's a good money hack. And don't for a second tell me he wouldn't. Sally petrified Gabe, and then they sold his statute to a museum as a sculpture and earned money off of that. So Sally would definitely encourage it, and Percy would even follow through on it just for shits and giggles and the added benefit of helping demigods and earning money.

[I literally want this to happen just for the Godly reactions. I am all for god slander, especially Zeus slander. Poseidon would be half laughing at the book and half worried cause of the sheer catastrophes his son seems to fall into almost on a daily basis.

Apollo would be having a grand time, and Hermes will be half depressed and half impressed throughout. Overall, it would be hilarious all around, and it might finally make the gods feel a bit more accountable . It's literally the Reading Percy Jackson Series trope, and that's always fun.]

3.

One other option is that Percy will get into environmental preservation, specifically the protection of Rivers and Seas from pollution by actively involving himself and others in its cleanliness and purification. He would also run Beach cleanliness programs.

I think he and Grover would become environmental activists and would definitely get into preserving forest areas and other places where nature spirits dwell frequently. I can see them doing it a lot, long-term wise, too.

4.

I think he would kind of like marine explorations, but that might cause his powers to be somewhat exposed, so he might not do that, but it's a possibility.

That's all I can think of. I would like to hear everyone else's opinions on this.

[sparklesandpudding]

heyy, how are you doing❔i hope everything is going well for you and that you are having a good day/evening 🤍

may i request romantic ror x reader in this comical yet cute scenario where bf is lying his head on his partner’s tummy to relax but the stomach just won’t shut up?? i once watched a video of a couple doing this and the bf complained with a “why is your stomach talking so much shit today?” which made me cackle 😭 i think it was adorable honestly. you can make it either a story or headcanons, whatever you would like❕

characters would be thor, hades and poseidon🤍

Hello anon!! Thank you for the request!! This is actually so cute and funny to think about🤭

ROR Men with darling's talkative belly

Thor, hades, Poseidon

Thor

- he had just finished doing some stuff and running errands for himself around the place. That being- striking fear into those who walked passed him.

-ofc he needed a place to rest. And like any strong soldier/fighter, he chose eto rest at the best place. Your stomach.

- you didn't mind, as long as he was comfortable, things like these always came as a surprise for those who witness it, not really like they can say anything about it tho.

-all of a sudden, you hear him speak. "It's so talkative.."

- you laugh at his complaint, telling him "it's just In a good mood."

- he let out a hum, continuing to listen to whatever was going on inside of there, giving it a small kiss before closing his eyes and resting.

- he liked hearing you breathe, anything that had something to do with you was always his medicine. It healed him in a way, both spiritually and physically.

- like he could be bleeding out, but as long as you give him a kiss, he's all fine.

- going back to him resting on you, his arms tighten around you even more, but not in a way to hurt your fragile figure.

- you were probably gonna be stuck in that position for a while ..

Hades

- hades had finished doing some work, regarding stuff from the underworld and letters from his dear brother zues about meetings that he needed to attend in Valhalla.

- he wanted to soothe his nerves, and what better way to do that when he can go visit you?

- you were the only thing he could look forward to in the boring and lonely place of the underworld. You were the light he seemed whenever he was consumed by darkness.

- He walked over to you, in the big bedroom, immediately cuddling into you after a long day of work. Just what he needed.

- he planted a kiss on your face before sinking into the soft mound of flesh. Staying quiet until...

"you have quite the talkative belly, dearest."

- he let out a chuckle when you responded with, "it's just very excited that you're here."

- "shall it be then."

- he loved listening to it, no complaints made unlike the other two if yk what I mean.

- maybe one day, you'll have an actual mini human inside your belly for him to listen to--

- okay let's not go that far. You guys still have so much time before that happens. But it WILL happen, once everything is prepared. And once you both are ready.

- he'd listen to your belly, and then go like-

"it has a point."

- as long as it's you, he won't mind. He loves you very much, and he will make sure eto keep it that way forever.

- he likes to put kisses on your belly, or rub circles on it, just for fun. The bond between you two— and the belly ig — was strong.

...

- he sighs softly, closing his eyes and sleeping. He knew he'd have such a good rest after this.

Poseidon

- "why is your stomach talking so much shit today?"

- yeah straight to the point here we are. Bro has beef with your belly.

- it was so noisy and wouldn't stop yapping at all. Reminds him of two brothers of his...(Adamas and zues. if yk, you know.)

- and this man was not patient. He was not gonna take this level of disrespect from a mound of flesh. How dare it do such.

- call him dramatic, but he ain't taking it.

- I bet he'd randomly rant to it about his day, while your fingers softly caress his hair. Like didn't he just complain about it being noisy?

- I know dam well there would be moments where he'd randomly take pauses, letting the belly speak, before continuing to rant.

- he didn't like how it talked so much shit, for a belly, it really knew how to speak it's words, didn't it?

- you were his angel, but that thing was a demon. How dare it.

- you'd just giggle and listen to him. Him and that stomach of yours really had a telepathic connection, huh?

- he slowly dosed off to sleep, after his nightly session of ranting. Sleeping soundly, still laying on your stomach.

[somewhereincairparavel]

Am I the only one who thinks that Hermes is a super underrated god? Yeah we only ever saw him through a bad lense in Pjo because of Luke, but in the last Olympian, I had so much sympathy for him.

The guy wanted to help his son out so bad, but knew that if he interfered with the fates, then it would make matters worse and cause bigger problems. Even Poseidon knows how much he loved Luke till the point where he was considered Hermes's pride and joy. He LOVED May castellan so much aswell. He was anguished that Annabeth couldn't change Luke's mind (obv he shouldn't have blamed her, but you can see how desperate he was to help Luke). He said that Luke was no longer the same boy anymore because he gave himself away to Kronos. Imagine the heartbreak.

He actually had the decency to shed tears and genuinely repent his son's death (I'm looking at you Zeus) and even blessed him after he died so he could have it a little easier in the underworld.

Also, Hermes was enraged when percy accused him of not caring about luke, because he loved luke more than anything else, compare this to zeus, when hera accused him of not caring about jason's death, Zeus only got angry because he got the blame, not because he was upset that he was getting misunderstood of not caring. u can legit see it in his response ("i didnt kill him woman, caligula did!") like how tf does that response make any sense, he was basically proving hera's point with that shit answer. the guy just hates it when gets called out or blamed for his bs.

Hermes is also the least superficial god because he has a deeper understanding with mortals since he works with them. The dude is also funny aswell (duh he's like the god of mischief).

I've also never seen many pjo fics involving x Hermes!reader either. Is it because his powers aren't really flashy or flamboyant?

[localicecreambiter]

demi god LU time

the law of hyperfixations says you must combine interests at every given chance

adding a cut here as to not clog feeds!! its a real long post

i wanna hear thoughts too! so dont be afraid to comment. these are my personal opinions and i wanna hear if anyone agrees or disagrees :D (apologies for all the tags btw)

edit to add the stupid doodle

the gods all have favorites, and ironically none of them are their own kids (save for hades: he loves his kid. doesn't make him a good parent, but you know?)

In a more Zelda timeline abiding setting; Originally they weren't all at camp halfblood at the same time, but time shenanigans decided they were to be brought together

Imagine Chiron’s surprise when 7 of his dead campers waltz into camp (this happens EVERY SINGLE TIME they enter camp. Dionysus is completely unfazed, knowing the bs time shit the gods are dealing with atm)

By the time they enter camp in Wild’s Hyrule for the second time he kinda understands (Wind and Sky didnt have a Camp Halfblood, for the record, for obvious reasons)

Alternatively, its some form of modern au where they’re just from different parts of Hyrule (skyloft, downfall, ordonia, windfall peninsula, hyrule town (different from castle town), the list goes on) which would make a lot more sense for this kinda au (the world would’ve just had a LOT of calamities within the span of a few years, some of the heroes knowing about camp and others not so much)

(i think Legend, Wars, Time, Wind (post WW) and Four would’ve known about Camp Halfblood while the others were just kinda on their own until after their quests) meaning over half of them didn’t have prophecies and just went to deal with the issue themselves, possibly meaning on their journey they learned of camp

Ok well, all of them but Wars, who grew up at Camp Halfblood

All Zelda’s are children of Athena, save for Skyward Sword Zelda since she's the reincarnation of Hylia (yeah, im keeping the original Zelda goddesses! What of it?)

At some point fairly early on, a Zelda only had a son, who got together with Athena at some point and boom

Sky: child of Zeus 

self explanatory 

God of the skies? his name is literally Sky

not to mention how fucking powerful he is?

he was the "first" Link; Zeus was technically the first God, it makes sense (this is such a stupid reason)

The skies are his home, Zeus finding someone on Skyloft and “falling in love” with their love of the sky too results in this bad boy right here

The demise fight? Only a zeus kid could harbor lightning like that

A camp counselor in the modern setting (ik typically once you’re 18, you’re no longer a camper really, but shhhh)

Wind: child of Poseidon 

Don't roll your eyes, i've got a reason!!

the 4 wind gods throw a fit anytime he's sent on a quest (they all love him even if they won't admit it)

A world purely ocean and islands? Poseidon would have a fuckin ball

The Great Sea needed a hero, Wind was brought about more for necessity than out of the want to have a child (this leaves a hard disconnect between wind and the gods, knowing his dad didn’t really have him out of love for his mom but because the world needed to be saved)

The irony of Poseidon being the patron of pegasi and horses and Wind not knowing what a horse is will never not be a funny thought

Has more control over the wind than he does the sea (for now) 

he, like Legend, pointedly ignores that he's a demi-god, especially since he comes after the Hero of Time (kinda hard to live up to that, even outside of a demi-god au)

The ocean and winds are his mood ring: you upset him the wind gods are after you

In a modern setting, the same reason applies kinda; a quest under the sea would be virtually impossible for anyone but a child of Poseidon, and hell knows a cyclopes isnt gonna be sent (gotta love those prophecies) 

OR!! OR AND HEAR ME OUT

Wind isnt a demigod

The wind gods still adore him, but he doesn't have the hero’s spirit and i think that’d kinda translate to not being a demigod, yet still being the one who was destined to go on the quest because there just weren't any demigods to do it

Still not set on which id go with

Legend: child of Hades 

Ah yes, child of the big three goes on so many quests trope. Love to see it

he's Apollo's favorite favorite (Warriors is jealous as hell. Thats his dad! Wdym he likes Legend more????) 

Pointedly ignores the fact he's a demigod (at least, he definitely tries to)

Blessed by (and beefing with) so many gods from his quests

probably one of the few heroes who's spoken to their godly parent (trust me, it was out of obligation rather than free will)

Prefers helping out the more minor, underappreciated, and not as needy or bitchy gods (like Hestia, for example)

curses the Olympians constantly, they've learned to ignore him, hes their best questing kid

Sort of a general camp counselor since Hades doesn't really have kids (its technically his last year but hes been there the longest out of everyone)

Managed to block the oracle over iris message

After his trip to the dark world and lorule, the gods go haywire around him, much to his delight (because it means they leave him alone)

Hyrule: child of Hecate 

adopted by Hermes (much to the dismay of all the Hermes children)

I was on the line between Hecate, Apollo, and Hermes; Hyrule’s affinity for magic and the blood curse resulted in Hecate to win 

Very detached from the gods, the help he receives is never outright but more subtle blessings

The gods like to ignore Downfall after Legend died tbh (outside of modern, obviously)

Well, they still ignore Downfall as a city/country. 

Only learned of camp thanks to Legend, otherwise he wouldn’t have had a clue it existed

Wild: child of Athena 

Also adopted by Hermes 

One of the more chaotic children of Athena

The idea of Athena being his godly parent sourced from his resourcefulness and quick battle (or just general) strategies, along with his pre-calamity self being stoic and more on the critical side

Completely forgot he was a demigod and just let loose, Athena is more than slightly perturbed by him and yet so infatuated

Supervises archery at camp

Warriors: child of Apollo 

exemplifies almost 0 traits of his father other than his looks and his affinity for medicine (shit archer, shit musician, can't write poetry)

blessed by Athena during the war since he was struggling so much, she always has a soft spot for the heros since they fight to protect her daughters so hard (aka pity blessing) 

Actively beefing with Ares 

Aphrodite likes to keep an eye on him, mostly for entertainment (she woulda eaten the whole Cia debacle UP)

Very notorious in camp considering he was a war captain at the ripe age of 17; once learning of the whole Camp Jupiter has apartments and college for half bloods insisted and led a project at CHB to get something similar built (which is where he, Sky and Twilight stay after turning 18)

Twilight: child of Demeter

His love for ranch animals and caring for his farm lead me to this decision

Also the whole wolf thing, that also counts

Appalled by the fact Wind doesn't know what a horse is considering he's literally the son of Poseidon (jealous the kid can talk to Epona and he can't)

After his journey to the twilight, the gods kinda flicker between Greek and Roman around him so they tend to avoid him like Legend

blessed/cursed by Lupa, hence the wolf thing

Teaches foraging lessons at camp

Four: child of Hephaestus

He's the smithy, I couldn’t not say he's a Hephaestus kid

received a lot less help from the gods since he was one of the first 

started advocating that heros receive help from the divine after LU concludes so those after him have a fighting chance (not in the modern setting)

I havent played many of his games, but the kinstones sound like a thing Hephaestus would scatter across the earth as scrap from his creations

Not one of the fire wielders (the only one that can wield fire is Red when split, mostly because of the elemental bs in minish cap)

After drawing the Four Sword, Janus (despite being roman (i like to think the four sword would be a roman artifact, it just feels right)) was suddenly pretty interested and bestowed what wisdom he had for the demi-god

Vulcan, Neptune, Aeolus, and Ceres all came together to forge the elemental stones; the Minish were still the ones to bestow the sword to Hylian people

The gods tend to avoid him too, for the same reason they avoid Twilight and Legend (dark world shenanigans and the Four Sword)

He loves the damn forge at CHB, and was ecstatic seeing the one at Camp Jupiter

He was asked by Chiron if he would be interested in running a forge class for young demigods (be it his siblings or anyone interested) but sadly declined 

Has that air of responsibility to him, being a seasoned quester (and while his 3 doesn't stand to Legend’s 6, its still pretty sizable) hes looked up to by the younger campers

Time: child of Demeter Kronos? 

The Kokiri were so Demeter core dont even tell me they werent

I guess they’d kinda act like nymphs and dryads in a sense??

His abilities use to relate to his mother until the events of his first quest: the Ocarina of Time was designed to slowly corrupt the user, being a creation of Kronos’

However, it wasn’t really designed with a demigod in mind sooo…

Also self explanatory, the titan of time? Duh… huh?? what do you mean he was taken over?? What do you mean he was a child of Demeter?? No he wasnt lol that Neverrr happened

the reason he's the only “child” of a titan is mainly because of the fierce deity mask literally making him god-like, meaning he has a lot more power harbored in him sooo (the second he dawned that mask he discarded his old identity for that of a titan’s child, since it was also cursed object)

Don’t ask how he came to being Kronos’ kin, no one knows, not even he does (I do) (no, it does not imply a Hylian wandered into Tarturus and got out alive to have the baby)

Avoids interacting with the gods at all costs, he's weary of them as they are of him (even if he saved the world twice)

Extras :)

Ravio: child of Pluto 

blessed by Minerva for his natural quick witted nature and clever war strategies, if her own daughter can't succeed she might as well make sure ONE does

can tell if a rupee is real or not by glance alone

Sheerow scares the fuck out of the gods, which in turn means Ravio puts them on edge, a thing very few can achieve

the gods never gave him much thought until the events of albw, to which he suddenly gained like four pair of godly eyes on him

can and will plan one of the worlds most successful heists, refuses to participate 

also beefing with Ares (not Mars, Ares)

Based on my personal HC that Ravio’s some sort of artificer (be it replicating magic dungeon items or just flat out creating new ones) i think Vulcan has his eyes on him too

Hilda: child of Minerva 

by far the strangest child Minerva ever birthed

exemplifies the traits of a hero rather than a ruler

a little jealous her mother likes Ravio more than her

gods be damned, she's not going to let them neglect her kingdom anymore 

a force of fucking nature that single handedly forced a meeting with the gods and somehow forced them to agree to start restoring Lorule (she got the idea from Legend, who has done this multiple times for multiple different reasons)

[colourstreakgryffin]

Hello, also I was wondering if you could do a black reader with posideon and Buddha , also could it be a she and human , and she's a little chubby or like thick idk (Also you don't have to do this if you feel uncomfortable)

I don’t mind at all, love! I know tackling chubby readers is a bit sensitive. It’s funny since I’m chubby too but I’m gonna try my best! Being chubby is never a problem, you don’t need to change yourself but if you want to be healthier, go right ahead! Do it for yourself, not for anybody else! And I don’t need to comment on black people, they are beautiful and deserve as much love as we all get

Poseidon

Once more, Poseidon is a heavy human hater and at first, he completely ignored you since to him. You’re nothing but filth before his eyes. However, he begun to indulge in a sense of hypocrisy as he kept thinking about you and returned to ‘study about humans’ when, in reality. He wanted to know about you

Poseidon notices your chubby curves but do you think he’ll fuss over it? He won’t. He doesn’t control what you do nor does he care. Would he rather you be healthier and therefore thinner, yes. But he thinks your slightly thicker self is not that bad. Your own body is the last of his problems

Poseidon has not seen many black people in his life, as he is much more use to the pale skinned figures like his fellow Greek gods so whilst he does notice your ‘different’ appearance right away, he only asks you to explain it to him in detail from his awe is AFTER he has basically dragged you into his private suite within the Gods’ level of Valhalla

Poseidon still has a reputation to uphold so whilst he won’t openly express the fact he’s now friendly and even intimate with a human, he’ll just keep the fact he’s considering making you his Queen to himself… he is a hypocrite but he won’t accept being exposed as a hypocrite

Poseidon actually genuinely likes your attitude. You don’t take shit from anybody, you’re graceful, you’re strong, you’re a perfect Queen… even if he knows you’re a repulsive weak little human. He’ll just have to figure out a way to turn you into a Goddess. It’s not like you don’t deserve it, you deserve to wield godly power

Sadly, your relationship with Poseidon is purely private / secret since he cannot risk all the hardwork he put into his whole image within the Olympian Gods but this doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you. At first, he didn’t, but now, he does and that’s enough. He cares about you, he’ll work for you, he’ll spoil you

“Coral. Come here now. Put that down and stand beside me. Listen closely, you are to stay out of the sight of the Gods, those cigarette butts are not worthy of indulging in your beauty”

Buddha

On the other hand, Buddha just really doesn’t give much of a fuck about anybody around him but also only really cares about himself so when he comes across you… he kinda looks at you, gives off a causal greeting then goes on his way. Yet, you kept coming across his mind afterwards so he decides to look for you and he is determined to get what he wants. YOU

Buddha is a man who is extremely flexible and has no such thing as judgement or malice so he really doesn’t mind how chubby and thick you are. He thinks it’s actually cute since he can tell you’re happy with your body and don’t feel negative to yourself. However, if you want to change yourself, he’s there to help out

Buddha, unlike Poseidon, has seen black people more than once, since there is several multitude of racial members in his religion so he less finds your dark skin and other unqiue features as fascinating but more as pretty since you own your looks… he appreciates that

Buddha is an excellent teacher so he has the heart to care and try lead you. He may only move for himself but he puts you second in his heart so if you need him, he’s there. Even if it goes against his own wishes, you don’t agree with him but he wants to make you happy too

Buddha loves the way you act, cheeky snarky determined girlboss and he is proud of you completely. You’re the type of woman he likes, the one who don’t let anybody hurt her and stands up for herself, he definitely can see ya making a great co-leader, right by his side

Relationships may not be the most common thing for monks but Buddha doesn’t see any problem with breaking the rules, even his own rules. He is a rebel after all and he likes you, he strives for healthy emotions so love and happiness formed by you, reciprocated for you as well. You’re staying now

“Yo. Yo. How do I look? ‘Bad’?! Jokes on you, my lovely Lotus. I think I make a good detective~ Wanna go stalk the Gods with me? Yeah, yeah. We’ll be fine”