#Poly discourse

[polyamorousmood]

Funnist part of anon hate is that everyone sending it seems to have assumed I'm a neglected woman. I can only assume it comes from me talking about emotional needs being met and the underlying assumption men have no needs except sex

[pinbones]

I've shittalked the people who keep falling for scapegoating exclusionary tumblr unpopularity cycle crap, but it's worth thanking the people who've been on our sides the whole time. For every blogger who posts hate about the target du jour, there's at least one blog with less followers who's been with us from the start and I just think that's awesome. So yeah, shoutout xxx

[vaporize-employers]

reactionary undertones aside, there are some targets you can't come for without a bit of a self-own. "too many sexual partners at once" listen to yourselves. do u hear how that sounds.

[begrudgedlovergirl]

the same people that love to talk shit about polyamory and open relationships are the same bitches tuning in to every season of the bachelor and the bachelorette, make it make sense.

[halsins-herbal-underpants]

oh isn't it interesting how well this sentiment intersects with bisexual erasure when you're in a relationship. And when I say interesting I mean infuriating, maddening, typical and common of course.

the fun of being a married gnc bisexual polyamorous person and always and forever doubted you actually are any of what you fucking say you are.

Gods the poly erasure I just saw is baffling

Someone saying they wanna romance Halsin but don’t jive with polyamory so they won’t (valid, respect that, very same reason me as a person irl could never date Halsin no matter how much I love him, I can’t do open polyamory)

But then all the comments were “you can still date him monogamously!!!! There’s an epilogue that suggests he’s being serious and monogamous with Tav!!! You don’t have to date multiple people!!!”

Just because Halsin and Tav are not seeing anyone other than each other does not change the agreement.

It’s doesn’t change Halsin’s nature when it comes to relationships and partners.

Romancing Halsin is an agreement to be in an open polyamorous relationship. It does not matter if Tav never finds someone else they love at the same time. It does not matter if Halsin never finds someone else he loves at the same time.

Halsin is forever and always poly, and he never settles into being monogamous for Tav. He will not change his nature for you, nor does he want you to change your nature for him.

There is no “monogamous path” with Halsin.

[skellagirl]

Gordon/Barney/Alyx is really really funny to me conceptually bc it's like, two hot geniuses in their 20s who look at the 40-something smartass who hangs around and go 'yeah that guy. we both want him carnally'

[autisticrorygilmore]

”mspec lesbians and lesboys DNI” BOOOOO!! 🍅 BOOOO!!!! 🍅 🍅 🍅

[northernrain]

You know what got me so fucking excited? I had both Halsin and Astarion in my party and when I kissed Halsin, Astarion said this:

It's one line. One. One line to acknowledge my ongoing poly triangle, and pretty much the only line I ever got about that aside from the first "let's smooch if your bf is okay with it? uwu" and "it's fine" that establish it in the first place.

And I was so ecstatic to even get that. That's how fucking starved I am for any kind of healthy poly representation in media.

It's like seeing a gay character on tv for the first time all over again. The representation might not be very well done, it got problems, it's barely there, but at least it's there? Right? It's technically there? Even if you might miss it if you glanced away at the wrong moment.

Yeah, it's not enough.

I don't blame people for having a negative gut reaction to the entire idea if that's how they were raised, growing up. For a lot of us, there was ever only pretty much one right kind of "love" and "relationship", and to learn out of that thinking requires the same kind of work it takes to unlearn homophobic or transphobic assumptions. It's hard. It takes time. And at least for the western world, it's not yet demanded in the same way as LBTQ+ rights are. But... hopefully it will be, at some point.

Because love isn't some kind of a finite resource like a loaf of bread or some very nice fabric. You don't run out of it by loving more people. You don't go, "Ah, sorry. My heart's full. I just can't care about you." You can think that, you can say that, but will it actually mean you won't care about someone if you genuinely enjoy their company and wish them well? Or do you actually... care? Despite not really wanting to, or feeling like you have the emotional capacity to?

Of course falling in love is a really intense thing to happen, and I'm not sure if one human being can handle multiple simultaneous falls at the same time. But there are so many ways to fall in love, and so many kinds of love.

In my experience, the fireworks-y, obsessive, all-encompassing, draining kind of fairytale love is on the rarer side, and for a good reason: it's insane. It takes all of you and leaves you wrecked. It's not sustainable. There's a reason why we talk of falling and crushes, because, hell, what else could describe that devastation so well? It is crushing. And eventually, something's got to give, and that insane fairytale romance either mellows out to something more stable, or it withers out.

And I'd argue that every single human (with emotions) can handle more than one deeper connection to another human being. And... it truly is as simple as that. Sex or no sex, it all gets down to caring about each other.

I am very rambly, sorry. And the people who most need to hear this shit aren't probably seeing this in the first place. But I just. There's not many people to talk to about being poly, is there?

Ok little rant here because I keep seeing this kind of comments pop up.

Let’s talk Halsin and polyamory.

Because apparently making ace characters allo and gay characters straight is a crime against god, but nobody seems to care when poly identities are erased. I hate starting drama but it's honestly heartbreaking seeing how many people are happy to disregard Halsin’s polyamory entirely.

Does Halsin need better writing? Yes, he’s been done dirty by a rush job and Larian leaning a bit too heavily on the horny. But I think it's very telling that what some of you consider bad writing is the fact that you can't have a monogamous relationship with him.

I see people very hung up on this line:

Like this is some proof that Halsin secretly longs for monogamy but he’s too traumatized to admit it. Which is. Very insulting. He’s traumatized. He’s poly. The two things need not be related. If the only way you can conceive Halsin being poly is out of trauma, I don’t think I need to tell you just how yikes that sounds.

I’m personally not a big fan of this line. I always found it a little fetishy, like the game is giving you the go ahead to build a harem. But I’d also like to point out that the line doesn’t preclude the possibility he doesn’t want other partners right this moment, but might in the future.

People seem to conveniently forget the other instances where Halsin states his position on polyamory.

But all of this keeps getting brushed off in favour of that one line, because for some of you it’s inconceivable that a person would be capable of romantic attraction towards multiple partners. Like love from a polyamorous person is somehow lacking, weaker, less meaningful, inferior.

And it’s not just him, I’ve seen people pull this shit with Astarion and Shadowheart too, claiming that they’re lying when they say they’re ok with Halsin joining your bed. “He’s insecure!” “She’s lonely!” “They’re scared of being abandoned!” The implication here being that polyamorous people are broken, because nobody in their right mind would be ok having multiple partners, right?

Polyamory rarely if ever gets any decent representation, but god forbid you don’t take away the only scrap we get just because it makes you uncomfy.

[54625]

Morning crew discourse in fandom is so fucking funny .

"Morning crew are a family!! Fathers and their son!" (They constantly make dirty jokes towards each other/ make sexual innuendos about eachother, are generally very inappropriate and weird about eachother)

"Morning crew are a relationship! They're all in love!" (They have called each other family on countless occasions, Fit called himself an older cousin/uncle figure towards Tubbo, says Tubbo reminds him of Ramón and acted like he was a stand-in Ramón while he was missing, Ramón calls Tubbo his brother)

remind me to introduce yall to this crazy concept called a friendship

[dreaminglater]

“But you ship ______, how can you also ship ______?”

Wait until I tell you about poly relationships

[ingravinoveritas]

Noticing some very interesting parallels between Georgia's Insta caption yesterday/Michael's tweet tonight vs. both of their respective social media posts from the night of the NTAs (when Michael presented David with an award) in 2021...

2021:

2023:

...Comments? Thoughts?

[vaporize-employers]

my two cents on polyamory: i'm not getting laid either, but you don't see me projecting that onto people whose only obstacle to sex is scheduling.

[brettdoesdiscourse]

"Polyamory is just people who want to be able to cheat on each other without getting in trouble!"

You realize that cheating requires you to break the person's trust, right? There's not such as "consensual" cheating. It's not cheating on someone if you've agreed that something is okay in your relationship.

[crimeronan]

the thing that sucks most about polyamory discourse is that i can (and do) block most phrases related to things that upset/annoy me. but i can't, like...... i can't. i can't blacklist the entire word or tag "polyamory." because that would block Nearly All Of The Fandom Shit I Interact With,

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

i still don't understand where the lonnie x rogelio x kyle ship came from. rogelio and kyle, i can somewhat see, since there were a few interactions between them that could be considered romantic, albeit very brief. (although, if i'm not mistaken, rogelio partook in bullying kyle too and never tried to stand up for him or protect him)

but lonnie? how did lonnie come into this? there was no instance of a romantic connection between her and rogelio or kyle. if anything, i would headcanon her as aroace but nate couldn't let any of the characters stay single.

[corvidaeus]

the self proclaimed "gay transgender freak website" when people actually do things outside of sex and relationship norms 😰😰😰