#feels so crazy that this was the fandom that got me to join tumblr in the first place (in 2011!!!!) and I used to draw them ALL THE TIME

[skellagirl]

Gordon/Barney/Alyx is really really funny to me conceptually bc it's like, two hot geniuses in their 20s who look at the 40-something smartass who hangs around and go 'yeah that guy. we both want him carnally'

[asclexe]

the house md fandom would be fixed by more femlash

[nivea-ah]

I had started mha out of boredom back when the pandemic had just started (it's been four years!) and soon grew to be obsessed with it, but due to the never-ending woes of growing older and weaker (I hate you exams), I stopped reading the manga a year or two ago.

I would still visit the mha tag on tumblr and read what other's had to say about it but never really continued reading or watching it. Many said the writing was horrible and the random was even worse. They said the plot was too stretched out and repetitive and it's genuinely a very bad manga. I didn't believe it but I didn't really have a base to fight back on (in my head of course because I have better things to do than fight online) because I stopped reading the manga. But, today, I can finally say that I have caught up with the manga AND IT'S THE BEST ENDING YOU CAN EVER EXPECT OUT OF A SERIES.

The final war was of the perfect length, not too short to just be a quarrel, not too long to be tedious. There were developments and setbacks that made it even more exciting. All plot points were tied up nice and tight so that no side story was left incomplete. Everything was done wonderfully.

What I liked even more was that even with the ending of the war, we still got a lot of chapters on the mundane life of class 2-A and saw how they were holding up. Everything's going smoothly (maybe) and Shinsou's joined their class! Yay! We even got a wonderful scene between Izuku and Ochako which I so dearly loved <3 While I don't ship them, they most certainly are cute together <33

Finally, I shall talk about said 'toxic fandom'. MHA for a VERY long time has been called a toxic fandom because 'ew you ppl ship deku with any guy he's straight >:(' Okay. If you think he's straight, good for you <3 I, personally, like to think of him as bi because that helps me sleep well at night and I quite like my 8 hours of sleep. Sure, there are people who are crazy but there are crazy people EVERYWHERE in EVERY FANDOM. JJK is a good example. But it still remains a wonderful piece of literature because it is!! So, I think people should really move on from this 'MHA is hated a lot so I should too' because the wonderful story and the just as wonderful ending proved that it is truly an amazing series that will live in my heart for years to come because it is the only manga that made me feel so much, cry so much and enjoy so much. And with that, thank you for reading <3

[charmac]

just wanna say I agree wholeheartedly with your tags on that fandom post. I have been following sunny on here since 2015 and there is a constant cycle of sensitive, and frankly delusional people, who claim the show, make crazy headcanons and justifications to make it tolerable and acceptable to them before they eventually shun and condemn the show altogether. it was very bad in 2018 and made me withdraw from the fandom lmao. I remember being most annoyed with the endless woobifying of charlie and the absolute condemnation of dee above everyone else. like, they're all bad. that's the point of the show. I just don't understand how they could stomach it in the first place

You are a warrior, dude.

The reason it took me so long to join Sunnyblr in the first place was the fact that ~early 2020 I was rarely seeing anything here that was based in canon, mostly weird headcanons that made no sense to me, and Reddit genuinely seemed like a more based place to exist for this show.

I literally needed a friend to give me specific accounts to follow because the tag was (and, sorry, lowkey still is) a nightmare. (Though to be fair I’ve been in fandoms on Tumblr for over a decade and literally never liked scrolling tags.)

I got into Sunny and I fell in love with Sunny because of canon. Because it’s so fucking weird and fucked up but it’s FUNNY, and there’s genuinely nothing like it. The characters are horrible stupid terrible people but they’re actually deeply complex and rich to study, so much so that you feel extremely compelled in a multitude of ways to dedicate yourself to some part of them, or all parts of them. But.. if you strip them of those core identities, of what the characters stand for, that compulsion is gone, void, irrelevant.

Because it’s the extremely raw, almost purely acting on basic instinct, unfiltered humanity, worst parts of the self, inability to recognise or follow societal norms aspects of these characters that are relatable. It’s relatable in a way that *should* make you uncomfortable, feel unsettled, and maybe a little relieved that these parts of people can be acknowledged... That’s a unique and interesting feeling, something people engage with media like this to explore and expand upon, and it’s often something that genuinely helps or supports people who wrestle with a lot of the heavy concepts Sunny satirises (and sometimes just, shoves at you head on).

When people start to disregard all of this, for whatever reason they do, that’s when you end up with the Fandom using Sunny Characters as an “ability to project” or (much worse) a “near blank canvas to play with” (because, yeah, if you strip them of their literal reason for being created and continued existence, ofc you lose their whole identity!?)

The problem seems to be that either 1) they just don’t understand the show well enough to get that they’re disregarding this aspect of the plots and characters, and so they genuinely don’t recognise that the fandom for Sunny exists because of these terrible compulsions and insane trauma exploration and that’s why we enjoy discussing and playing with these characters or 2) they do understand this but they can’t engage with it without some kind of personal moral conundrum or extreme discomfort, so they have to sanitise or completely alter the characters to enjoy them.

The thing is, if you fall into category 2, you just don’t belong in the depths of it all, and it’s an unfortunate truth you have to face. If you cannot enjoy canon, if the actual show makes you extremely uncomfortable and you’re only here for a gay ship or to project your gender and sexuality onto one character, you need to go stan something else. I say that with the greatest intentions for you. As Anon here has stated, it’s an insane cycle in this fandom over and over, you’re just going to upset yourself and resent the show and the people here, because we like the canon and the fuckery because that’s what the show is for. That is the literal point of the show at the end of the day.

Now if you’re in category 1, I heavily encourage you to actually *talk to people about the show and the characters*, read analysis, watch the episodes with different frames of reference and in alternate states of mind. Do your own analysis or character work, try and just write out the plot of your favourite episode and put to words *why* you like it. Hell, try and write a fanfic or a spec script from the mind of one of the characters, even if you think you can’t write.

Honestly, honestly, honestly, if you genuinely like this show at face value but you’re only engaging with fanon because you feel like you ‘shouldn’t’ openly enjoy the canon because it’s seen as ‘bad,’ the best thing you can do is have a conversation with someone, or multiple people, who get the show.

That being said, I do wanna open this shell Discord I’ve made to people. For people who *enjoy* the canon, who want to discuss actual Sunny (and also have fun with it, of course!) you’re welcome to join.

A lot of you get it. I’ve made some amazing friends in this fandom and regularly have extremely stimulating and insanely throught provoking convos with the people I’ve met here. I love it, it drives my insane passion for this show and I am eternally grateful to have found people who love this show for what it is. I hope, if you’re struggling to figure out why you like this show or struggling to accept that you like media like Sunny, you reach out or join a conversation and learn to love it too. And if you don’t, if you genuinely hate the canon of this show and only like the version of Macdennis you saw in a dozen different Tiktok edits to Taylor Swift songs, I really hope you move on for your own sake.

[xxyamaxx]

∑(; °Д°) An Intro Post⁉️

Kinda crazy that I haven’t made an intro post for fucking months but whatevs

➶ ❁۪ ｡˚ ✧ About Me ✧ ˚｡ ۪❁ ➶

Hi, I’m Cassandra! You can call me Cass or Yama if you want to. I’m a cis female and use she/her. I’m Canadian and my ethnicity is Indigenous Filipina. 🇨🇦🇵🇭 ദ്ദി(｡•̀ ,<)~✩‧₊

➶ ❁۪ ｡˚ ✧ My Interests ✧ ˚｡ ۪❁ ➶

I’m VERY obsessed with Punch-Out!! for 2 years. My fav boxer is Piston Hondo. I loved him as a joke, but I don’t think it was a joke no more… whoopsie. I was obsessed with Tezuka Star System, DHMIS, Killer Bean, ACNH, Miitopia, Tomodachi Life, Sumikko Gurashi, Parappa the Rapper and other underrated shits. I may be obsessed with these again, but who knows. I’m in love with my childhood stuff, idkw. I also love listening to bands and doodling. (◡ ◉‿◉)っ✐ᝰ

➶ ❁۪ ｡˚✧ DNI ✧ ˚｡ ۪❁ ➶

Get the fuck away from me if you guys are…

Proshitters

MAPs

Disgusting illegal nsfw artists/weirdos

Easily making me annoyed/infuriated

Very judgemental

Obsessed with something that isn’t okay/makes me feel uncomfortable or sick

What I mean by illegal nsfw artists are basically ugly weirdos that sexualize minors, fetish, and other problematic shits.

I absolutely hate the fact Little Mac has the most nsfw arts in Punch-Out!! He’s 17, meaning he’s a LITERAL CHILD. Fuck off, horrible weirdos in Super Smash Bro’s and Punch-Out!! fandom. 凸ಠ益ಠ)凸

➶ ❁۪ ｡˚✧ Abt My Blog ✧ ˚｡ ۪❁ ➶

This is my main and art acc! I have this account for a year now, wowie. I don’t post daily cuz I’m in high-school now and super busy there. (Yey for me) Also, I actually lost multiple accounts on Tumblr hehe, all of them are 2 year olds damn.

Feel free to request doodles or ask me! I would be delighted! But might reply very late cuz you know. Won’t do HCs tho, super srry.

I’ve always wanted to post shits and be popular on Tumblr since I joined Punch-Out!! fandom in July 2022. But I didn’t have the confidence to do it because I was scared of being judged (still am) and always got super anxious whenever I did. But now, I’m fully comfortable of posting cuz you guys are so nice here! And I wanna say thank you guys so much for giving me the confident to post more!! ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´-

[cabotwife]

okay so hopefully your requests are open - i genuinely don’t know how to work tumblr 🥲🥲, anyway, would you be interested in writing like domestic olivia benson x fem reader fluff. like for example, getting the kids up for school, breakfast, maybe a child’s first day of school and reader and liv are so nervous/crying sort of thing. ultimately you have free range here, just some sort of ideas with this!

Growing Up..

Thanks for requesting Anon! I’m sorry this took a bit to do, but I really love the concept!

warnings: poorly written fluff

word count: 848

a/n: Requests are open everybody! I write for quite a few fandoms, which I will make a later post about to clarify.

Olivia groggily opened her eyes, her body still heavy with sleep. She blinked a few times, trying to adjust to the bright light of the morning sun that was streaming through the window. As she shifted in bed, she felt the warmth of her wife’s body next to hers. y/n was already up, and Olivia could smell the aroma of freshly brewed coffee wafting into the room.

Olivia stretched her arms and legs, letting out a soft sigh. She had her first day off in what feels like forever, and she was looking forward to spending it with her family. She turned to y/n, who was now sitting up in bed, sipping her coffee.

"Good morning," Olivia said, her voice still husky with sleep.

"Good morning, Liv," y/n replied, smiling at her. "How’re you feeling today?"

Olivia groaned. "I don’t know.. It's Maya's first day of school, and I just can't believe she's already starting kindergarten. She's growing up so fast, too fast."

y/n nodded in agreement. "I know, it's crazy. But Maya is going to be just fine. She's a smart and brave little girl, just like her mom."

Olivia smiled, feeling a surge of pride. She leaned over to kiss y/n, feeling a rush of affection. They had been married for a few years now, but Olivia still felt that same spark of love and desire every time she looked at her wife.

They got out of bed and headed to the kitchen, where y/n had already prepared breakfast for the family. There were pancakes with maple syrup, crispy bacon, and scrambled eggs with cheese. Olivia's stomach rumbled as she took in the delicious smells.

"Wow, y/n, this looks amazing," the brunette said, taking a seat at the table.

"Thanks, love," y/n replied, pouring her a cup of coffee. "I figured we should start the day off right, especially since it's such a big day for Maya."

Olivia nodded, feeling grateful for her wife’s thoughtfulness. The woman ate her breakfast in comfortable silence, savoring the flavors while y/n went to get the kids up. Maya and their other two kids, Noah and Eli, soon joined Olivia at the table, chattering excitedly about the day ahead.

After breakfast, Olivia and y/n helped the kids get ready for school. They brushed their teeth, combed their hair, and packed their backpacks with all the necessary supplies. Maya was especially nervous, clinging to Olivia's leg and refusing to let go.

"It's okay, sweetie," The woman said, kneeling down to give her daughter a hug. "You're going to have so much fun at school today. You'll make new friends and learn new things. And me and mama will be here to pick you up at the end of the day."

The little girl sniffled, wiping away tears. "Okay, Mommy. love you."

"I love you too, baby," Olivia said, feeling her own eyes tear up. She gave Maya another hug before standing up.

"Alright, kids, let's go," the y/h/c woman said, her voice cheerful and reassuring. "We don't want to be late."

They headed out the door, Olivia and Maya holding hands and the others trailing behind them. They walked to the school, which was just a few blocks away from their house. Noah and Eli gushed about the Pokémon cards that their uncle had just bought them. The air was crisp and cool, and the leaves on the trees were starting to turn golden and red.

As they approached the school, Olivia felt a lump in her throat. She couldn't believe how quickly time had passed, how her little girl was now starting her academic journey. She hugged Maya once more, feeling a rush of love and pride.

"Good luck, sweetie," Olivia said, her voice thick with emotion. "I'll see you later."

The small girl smiled bravely, waving goodbye. "Bye, Mommy. Love you."

Olivia watched as her daughter walked into the school, feeling a mix of joy and sadness. She knew that Maya was going to do great, but it was hard to let go. She turned to y/n, who was looking at her with understanding and compassion.

"You okay, Liv?" y/n asked, squeezing her hand.

Olivia nodded, feeling a tear roll down her cheek. "Yeah, just emotional. It's hard to see Maya leave."

"I know," The y/h/c woman said, pulling Olivia into a tight embrace. "But she's going to be just fine. And we'll be here for every step of the way."

Olivia smiled, feeling grateful for y/n’s love and support. She wrapped her arms around her, holding her close. They stood there for a few moments, watching as the other parents dropped off their kids and the school day began.

As they walked back home, Olivia felt a sense of contentment wash over her. She had a wonderful family, a wife who loved her, and children who were growing up into amazing human beings. Life was good, and Olivia knew that she had everything she needed to face whatever challenges lay ahead.

[choicesficwriterscreations]

September 2023 WOTM: lilyoffandoms

Each month CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers, and this month’s writer of the month is @lilyoffandoms. We hope you will enjoy learning more about them and their work below! The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

This month's Writer of the Month was selected a little differently than normal. We announced that we would be selecting the WOTM from the participants in last month's Writer Appreciation Event. But the eleven writers involved all agreed the honor belonged to Lily. Lily has been a staple in the Choices community for so long, and they continuously go out of their way to support creators and spread positivity while continuing to inspire and create themselves. We couldn't think of anyone better suited for the honor, so please join us in congratulating Lily... September's Writer of the Month!

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog Name: lilyoffandoms Blog Masterlist

How do you want to be known on Tumblr? Lily is fine (they/them preferred)

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played? 

Best guess would be back in January of 2018. It was a joke at first since a friend saw one of their god-awful ads and said we should both try it. Next thing you know, we were both arguing over which books were better and regretting our decision to start. Though their opinions on what constitutes good books are almost as bad as the Choices ad that got us to jokingly play (and I say this most lovingly because they are awesome and I love them). I started with Most Wanted, and my friend started with The Freshman. 

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

Oh gods! I joined back in March 2019. I know I’m a Tumblr baby by most everyone’s standards, but that feels like a really long time. I joined when Open Heart book one was released. I had lurked, reading fanfics, for a few months before biting the bullet and creating a blog and actually posting. Only joined because I was taking my editor’s advice and writing something entirely outside my norm to break a particularly bad case of writer’s block. Thought I might as well share those silly things if I was taking the time to write them. Maybe someone would enjoy them. Never did plan on sticking around, but found so many lovely people that I’ve come to call friends.

3- How did you pick your blog name? 

It was lilyofchoices. My name + Choices because I am super creative like that with those sorts of naming things 😅 I changed it to lilyoffandoms when I left the Choices fandom for a bit. I’ve thought about changing it more times than I can count but I can’t bring myself to actually follow through on it. How do y’all’s change your blog name with each new book release? You are a crazy different breed of tumblr and you fascinate me.

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!  

I deleted the first one years ago. It was my first drabble. Currently, as it stands, the first thing in my archive is this post about Desire and Decorum, and it still makes me giggle.

5- How long have you been writing fanfiction?

I’ve only been writing fanfic since I joined Tumblr. I never really tried writing fanfic before that. Some nonfiction personal things before that but never anything like this world. It's been an adventure, to say the least haha

6- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to write about?

My favorite book is probably Blades of Light and Shadow, book one, but there are plenty that are really close behind. This is also the book I’d say I enjoy writing for the most because it is my favorite book, contains my favorite LI, and has one of my favorite OCs (Maiele) in it.

Though recently, I’ve been writing more for Crimes of Passion because it's more of a challenge for me. It's a different vibe between the MC and the LI and it's one I don’t often explore so I’m here for that right now. But I have a sneaky suspicion once Blades 2 drops I’ll be back on my bullshit with that again.

7- Share the first fanfic you wrote with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were writing it today?

I don’t think it exists on this site anymore. Maybe in someone’s reblog? I still have it in my files. It was an Ethan x MC drabble featuring my MC, Merida. I still like it. I’d not change it cuz I’m a firm believer in writing it and don’t look back haha.

This is it:

He swallowed the lump forming in his throat, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to form in his eyes. There it was. He had told her. Dr. Banerji was dying and Ethan was at a loss as to what was ailing his mentor and friend. Ethan stared at the young woman in front of him and then to the floor. He cleared his throat and made a small motion to turn back into Naveen’s room but froze instantly the moment he noticed her take a step towards him.

She threw her arms around him and hugged him, wishing to take away all of his pain, all of his loneliness. Silently willing him to understand that she cared for him. Cared deeply for him and much more than she should. “Ethan. I’m so sorry,” she whispered, one hand stroked through his hair while the other grasped his neck and slowly bent his head toward her shoulders as she raised herself to her tiptoes to meet him halfway.

He tensed upon feeling her arms around him. Arms, he thought to himself, that he had imagined holding him for a number of weeks now. Ever since that night spent sitting up with her watching little baby Ethan. “Merida,” he sighed as he gradually relaxed into the embrace.

She didn’t let up on the hug, squeezing him to her just a bit more tightly. God, she had wanted to comfort him when Dolores died but she didn’t know how he would respond. Now, he was facing the possibility of another friend dying and she couldn’t help herself.

He responded to the increased pressure of her hug and tightened his own hold upon her. Finding himself tracing circles up her spine and imagining what it would feel like to move his hands to tease along the skin of her back where her pants met her shirt.

Her breath caught when she felt his hands move lower. No longer making gentle movements along her spine but increasing their pressure upon her body, nearly massaging their way lower. She brought one of her own hands around to his chest, lightly bunching his white coat in her fist to try and pull him closer to her.

A loud crash echoed down the hall. “Shit!” a construction worker cursed. The two doctors jumped back from each other both staring into each other’s eyes seeming to question if they had both felt the same in the other’s arms. She blushed slightly. “I should see to my other patients. Dr. Banerji’s condition stays between us. Understand, Rookie?” he stated, his eyes narrowing. She nodded and he turned and marched down the hall.

8- What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

I love asking this question of others but don’t like it asked of me. I’m so bad at self-rep and advertising my wares 😂 But if I had to pick one, I’d say this one. It was so far outside my comfort zone when it came to writing that I almost abandoned it two paragraphs in. But I’m a stubborn person, and I refused to let it beat me. Plus, I had been wanting to write a noir fic for this book since it was released. Furthermore, I adore Hayden’s work too much not to gift a little something back for all the art he shares with us, so I knew I just had to make it work.

9- Do you have a fic that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to be but found could use a little more love?

I didn’t expect last year’s Luck of the Draw fic to garner much love. Attention? Maybe. But not love and definitely not the response I got. I really enjoyed writing that one. 

10- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? 

Fluff. I’m a sucker for happy-ever-afters and an endless hopeless romantic. Give me the fluff. All the fluff. 

I pull a lot of what I toss into my silly drabbles from real life. Always been a believer in writing, most often what you know, and sprinkle that all with a dash of the stuff you don’t as a treat. And my life is pretty fluffy thanks to my incredible partner. 

However, I do so adore angst I’m just not able to write it often because it hurts more to write. But I’ll always always read it. That pain is *chef’s kisses*

11- Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

Maiele, my Blades MC, is most definitely me coded. His whole personality, his choice of partner when it comes to personality, his constant flirting with said partner, his sense of humor, his lack of a filter most times, it’s all pretty much me. Gabriel, my CoP MC, is me when it comes to romantic gestures and Valentine’s Day. I may be a romantic, but I get weird when it’s aimed at me 😂 

12- What element of writing do you struggle with most?

Editing. I refuse to do it. I hate it with the burning light of a thousand suns. Those of you that manage to edit your fics have all my admiration. I honestly don’t know how y’all do it. Doesn’t it just bore you to no end? 

13- Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

I have more drafts than I care to admit. I would like to complete a series I started long ago for Ethan x Merida, but I don’t know if I’ll ever do that. I’d settle for finishing one of my drafts 😅

14- If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first? 

Nope, haha, I’d not be able to do that. If I were that brave, I’d recommend this one maybe. I do so love Flynn. Or this one, mostly because I do so love the idea of Gabriel just pouting on the couch.

15 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing?

Not really. I mean all of em probably. I read a lot of books in a lot of genres. Mostly I use my drabbles as morning warm ups for my day job. 

There are definitely fanfic writers I admire around here that encourage me to share my silly things everyday. Especially all those queer writers out there that have a rather thankless existence sometimes around here but keep sharing their stories! They are all my heroes!!

16- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series? 

Any and all of my Maiele and Tyril stories. I just love them sooooo much!!

17- Do you write original fiction? 

Yes, but until recently, I wrote mostly nonfiction.

I do have a fic I began a few years back when I was still teaching. I had a student who hated their writing class, so I promised to write a short story alongside them and read it to the class like all the students had to if they gave it an honest go. 

They did and so I did too, and I was asked the following year to do it again by more students and so I continued the same story. I’ve since continued that same fic, and maybe someday I’ll actually go looking to publish it. 

18 -  What other hobbies do you have?

I love the outdoors. Hiking, spelunking, kayaking, gardening, camping, anything and everything outdoors. My other favorite hobby, which I've done for years and years, is fencing. I still am part of a club and teach a few levels. 

19 - What’s your favorite emoji? 

😅 because it’s legit my state of existence at this point in life. 

20: BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).

I want to send a special shout-out to all the absolutely lovely participants of August’s writer appreciation event I hosted. I still cannot believe y’all did this for me. 😘 These are each of my favorite fics you’ve written. Thank you for making our fandom a little brighter each and every day!

@aallotarenunelma Bathed in Sunlight @coffeeheartaddict2 Moths to a Flame @karahalloway A Leviathan Surprise @jerzwriter A Mother's Journal @ladylamrian Ma Cherie @mydemonsdrivealimo Run, Run @peonyblossom We're Gonna Get Married @petiteboheme Familia @storyofmychoices Passing Shower @tessa-liam All is Fair in Love and War @trappedinfanfiction What's In a Name? Lily's Top Three Commissions can be found here:

Crimes of Passion by @javsarts

A Year of Kisses by various artists: @lethendralis-paints @cashweasel @kundool @deheerkonijn @javsarts @weetlebeetle @kollapsar @mooreaux @rosefuckinggenius @/ArtbyAinna (IG) @littlestpersimmon @callmebeem

Trystan x Noel by @rosefuckinggenius

[survivingandenduring]

At the start of 2023 I was a quiet Pedro admirer; although Narcos was my gateway Pedro I was just admiring from a distance; following films and interviews but definitely not engaging. Too scary. 😟

The Mandalorian came along and I peeked into fandom but didn’t engage 🫣

HBO’s TLOU changed all that.

I put my big girl panties on and dipped my toe in the water. I wanted to join in with the fun 🤩 Not having a creative writing bone in my body I started making some video edits on the clock app; Some really, really poor quality and quite shitty edits. 😂 But I was having a lot fun making them and it was purely for my own enjoyment. 💗

💜🖤💜🖤💜

Got my Mandalorian/TLOU tattoo it says endure & survive in Mandalorian script cos I was Six when Star Wars came out and it’s been my comfort for nearly my whole life; and then the TLOU hit me with all of its feelings!!! And Endure & Survive has pretty much been a mantra for my life at times. So..

The Met Gala was life altering.

Gradually I’ve taught myself how to make edits that are a bit better; and some people even seem to like them!! And I started to get followers on the clock app! Crazy!! Still think it’s crazy that anyone takes time to watch or comment on them. I’ve not been confident enough to post much of them on here amongst so much cool stuff but I’ll try to push myself to do that more in 2024

💜🖤💜🖤💜

As the odd; ND, but I’m gen x so just weird, person I’ve always felt I’ve been the one on the outside or the edge looking in; I still mainly feel like that; but Pedro fandom has let me feel like I’m a tiny part of something; which is such a gift. I wish Pedro could understand that his work gives so much more to people. I’ve made some wonderful friends because of it and I hope to make more in the next year.

Fandom has truly allowed me to feel ok being myself 💗 and that’s so fucking cool.

💜🖤💜🖤💜

After reading fics on a03 I switched over to here; and then made an account.

Wow!!! What a difference. I love the interaction with the writers; the fact that you all take the time to respond to comments and thoughts is amazing to me and truly valued 💗🥰

The silliness on tumblr is like beautiful fresh air to breathe.’; whether it’s Marcus P and DONUTS; or the Catfish PhD program 😁 these bring me such joy. 🥰

I’ve read soooooo many amazing fics there are too many to mention. But if I’ve commented, liked or reblogged your fic it’s because I really truly enjoyed it 💜💗💜

And it’s like some sort of miracle that you guys give us this..for FREE…just to share and enjoy. What a gift; when my head feels out of control I can come here and quieten it down with your words.

💜 THANKYOU 💜

and if anyone took the time to read this brain spew then double thanks ❤️💜

If you do fancy looking at some shitty edits then I’m @enduringandsurviving on the clock app

Here’s to 2024 and all that Pedro. There’s a chance I may self combust at some point.

I thought G2 was going to do it but I’ve a sneaky suspicion that I won’t make it past Freaky Tales 🤣🤣🤣

[sophies-junkyard]

Seeing the new PJO content has me thinking way too hard about growing up. Its crazy because it’s like…. I think that chapter of my life is over? Which is a BIZARRE feeling. It’s all pretty stupid to write out but I’m drinking coffee and staring out the window and don’t have class for another 6 hours so lemme scribble some thoughts.

I read the Percy Jackson books when I was the same age as the characters, and so whenever I look back on those stories I sort of… remember them as peers? I remember how much I related to them and looked up to them. It was the first story that ever told me my ADHD could be a gift, and that it made me just like my heroes. It was so, SO important to me. I JOINED TUMBLR for the PJO fandom! I made camp t-shirts and painted necklace beads! I learned to draw because the fanart inspired me. Those books were such an escape for a lonely kid. The characters grew up right alongside me, and eventually got older than me. So when I picture our trio I still picture people… more competent than me? People I would aspire to be. But seeing that trailer and remembering like… holy fuck they were kids. I was a kid. This is a faithful adaptation because they were TWELVE… where did the time go?

It’s just strange because if you scroll back through my tumblr you’ll find a kid who camped out for the release of HOH. Who saved her allowance for a year to get an autographed copy of the Blood of Olympus. Whose eyes would glaze over in euphoria at the idea of my favorite thing in the world coming to screen. At the idea of a new BOOK!! And from Percy’s perspective?? That girl would’ve exploded. This was HER blog! Push a few buttons and you’ll find her!

So how odd is it that… it’s simply not for me anymore. When I saw that the book was set in Percy’s senior year of high school, I had a tiny flash of disappointment. Obviously I can’t relate to an 18 year old, and I felt myself frowning. “Why isn’t Percy for ME anymore?” I wondered. And I immediately felt silly. The answer is because… I don’t need that world anymore.

They’re not making this show for me. They’re bringing it back for the next generation of kids who need those role models and those stories. When I watched the trailer I thought “oh that’s cool” instead of “oh my god I can’t wait!!” Because it just doesn’t make my brain light up like it used to. I’m never going to relate to it like I once did. Ever. And that’s okay because I’m not that kid anymore! Insane.

It’s not like the series doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. There’s a copy of The Lightning Thief on the bookshelf directly across from me. Its smooshed between The Secret History and a level 4000 Spanish textbook. It’s yellowed with age and shredded around the corners. The first sentence has been underlined repeatedly in smudgy mechanical pencil. There are about a thousand folded pages and the back cover is missing. I don’t remember the last time I opened it, but it’s moved with me for years now and I have no intention of letting it go.

Those stories and that fandom shaped me into the person I am today. I wanted to be brave like Percy and smart like Annabeth. I believed it was possible because I saw myself in them, and it turned out to be true. So while it’s sad to know those days are behind me, I’m so SO glad that other kids will get to have that experience. I hope these stories live on for decades to come.

I don’t really know what the point of writing this was. I think I just wanted to have these thoughts written out somewhere. A sort of acceptance that time goes on and things change, ya know? And to clarify: this is NOT meant to discourage ANYBODY from watching the new series or reading the new book. People should absolutely go back to the things that bring them joy, should discover new worlds to escape to, etc. live your life baby! Hell, I’ll probably end up liking everything PJO related that floats across my dash. Nostalgia is a powerful thing. If you read this entire post I hope you have a great day lmao.

[inventedfangirling]

bad buddy fandom getting-to-know-you meme!

ah finally after a gazillion years i've been able to get around to doing this after being tagged by the ever sweet @fiercynn , so lemme straightaway get down to it.

note: i consider "fanworks" to pretty much everything people create related to a fandom, including but not limited to meta/analysis/discussion, gifs, fanvids/edits/fancams, filk, fanart, fanfic, fan food, fan crafts, etc.

name and whatever you want to share about yourself

hello there, i'm a 24 year old gray-ace panromantic desi on the romance positive end of the arospec (im still undergoing the wonderful but also often difficult and long journey of discovering myself so this is subject to change :3), i prefer going by my username so i'm not sharing my name.

when did you watch bad buddy/join the fandom?

i watched bad buddy exactly 3 months ago on the 15th of May, 2023. i watched all the episodes all on the same day and i know the date because after finishing the show i sent a 7 minute long audio note gushing about the show to my best friend. i ADORED it that much. and that's where all of this started. i loved the show so much and the lack of people i knew irl who were interested meant i had to find other people in the fandom to freak out with. i kept posting one after another favourite bad buddy edit of mine on my twitter page, gushing about it, but i got barely any response and that's when i reminded myself that tumblr exists and i should get back on here. and that's how i made this account 2 weeks after i watched the show and voila here i am surrounded by people who are as crazy about the show as i am and i couldn't be more delighted about it :')

favorite ship(s)

patpran and inkpa ofc

favorite character(s)

i love pat with all my heart, the man he ends up becoming along the course of the show is one of my most favorite portrayals of any man ever BUT pran is my actual favorite, he is my baby, (somehow both) my elder and younger brother and my best friend and he has my whole heart. his love, his hesitance, his anxiety, his bravery, his dimples, his FOREHEAD, his striped shirts, his precious heart i would DIE for him no questions asked.

favorite episode(s)

episode 11. each segment had something for the heart, i adored every single second of it...the sheer volume of beaut quotes from this episode is mind blowing! ("being with you already feels like freedom", "i can be anywhere as long as i have you", "we have been happier a lot too", "thankyou for trying to make a silly guy like me happy..." "i wrote this song for him", "one man can't change the world, but this world can't change me too"), and the soft loving looks of adoration making me clutch my chest, but also there was the quintessential patpran banter and bad buddy humour and wisdom i LOVE this episode with all my heart.

episode 5 is perfection. it comes second for me, but that kiss will always be number 1 <3

favorite scene(s)

rooftop kiss, balcony phone call, episode 7 ending when pat comes to save the day and the play, episode 11 red shirts commitment expression scene, and the final credits and post credits scene

one thing you would change about the show if you could

i wished the gangs didnt bully eo or anybody else even in the beginning, i get it shows growth but still i wished that was shown differently. also i wish we got a conversation where they talk about the guitar. and while we're here i wish it was somehow longer, i could have watched ohmnanon be patpran for HOOOURS.

what are your some of your favorite fanworks made by other people?

traffic was slow for the crash years by @fiercynn aka the creator of this meme. i absolutely adored every single second of the fic. despite it giving me a WORLD of pain. all the pain made it more beautiful and everything was worth it in the end. like i said before you took a great thing and made it even better <3

every piece of art that @hereforlou comes up with. you are a GEM!

all of nanons gorgeous gifsets!!

same page video edit that even p'aof tweeted about. SO good.

enchanted (aka patpran's official song) and other patpran edits by this same SO very talented editor

mudhal nee mudivum nee - another beautiful edit but desi so its even better <3

this super clever edit of patpran to message in a bottle. it's an instant serotonin booster for me.

(if you create fanworks) what are your favorite fanworks that you’ve made?

you can hear it in the silence - bad buddy bet era fic (the only one i've written till now)

my bad buddy textposts collection

my pran and pat's growth posts

this post that took me 20 mins to write but is one of my fav things ive written about the show

my long treatise of bet era patpran that took me a week!

list of accounts (hopefully i haven't forgotten any) whose meta and analysis and brainrot i absolutely adore- @miscellar , @telomeke-bbs , @grapejuicegay , @aroceu, @dudeyuri, @dribs-and-drabbles, @dimplesandfierceeyes, @sharingfandoms, @waitmyturtles, @ranchthoughts, @lurkingteapot, @lurkingshan, @thegayneurodivergentagenda, @kenmakaashi, @absolutebl, @charthanry, @bengiyo, @mahuhumaling, @panickedbisexualwatchesbl, @jemmo, @patspran, @fiercynn, @midnightfreeway, @fierceeyesanddimples and a couple more im sure ive missed. it was {and continues to be} a pleasure reading their thoughts about the show (or any other show that we've mutually watched).

a song that makes you think of bbs (the ones in the show don’t count lol)

message in a bottle because of this edit

daylight cos of this edit

enchanted, because of the infinite edits we've got from it and if im not wrong pat ohm has acknowledged it too

and basically all other romantic songs in the history of romance i guess :3

alrighty then i think i'm done with this tag. this was a LOT of fun to compile <3

[andrew-rannells-mustache]

Tuunbaq, terror and expedition for the ask game!

Tuunbaq - were you frightened by the show? which scene do you find the “scariest”?

I’m usually a total wimp with horror stuff, but funnily enough not really? I had an unusual watching experience because I kind of joined the fandom on tumblr before I sat down to actually watch the show. I like spoiling things for myself so all of the more “scary” scenes I’d either seen before or seen memes about which cut the scariness for me, and the show having very few jump scares definitely helped too lol. The only time I ever remember jumping while watching was in the very opening scene when JCR is with the Netsilik hunter and Crozier walks away in the background - for some reason I thought that that was gonna be a Tuunbaq jump scare and it startled me 💀

As for which scene is “scariest” - for me, it’s when they find the heads of Fairholme’s rescue party. The thought that:

1) no one is coming to save them, no one even knows where they are

2) the Tuunbaq is smart and capable enough to make a nice little display of these heads with the knowledge that they will be found by the men and it will upset them, and

3) they only got 18 miles from the ships? And that this (judging from how the heads look) happened a while ago?? They’ve been there this whole time?!

It’s just! Crazy to me! (The scene where they find Strong and Evans’ bodies stacked together fits too but honestly on my first watch I didn’t realize that it was two separate guys so it didn’t affect me as significantly lol)

^Second place goes to Collins’ horrible from supper speech. I didn’t have any idea what the title of episode 7 meant going into the show (I thought maybe they were feeling horrible from whatever they ate for supper? Maybe because of the lead or something?) so it definitely threw me for a loop! I’m not usually bothered by cannibalism as a concept, but Collins being tormented by this involuntary reaction he had to such a traumatic experience really stuck with me.

Honorable mention to Morfin’s death too - a lot of episode 7 really follows the concept of like. Desperation and the loss of hope (imo, at least), and I find it very interesting. It’s by far the episode that unsettles me the most. :-)

(One more honorable mention for the music that plays during Sir John’s death - the scene doesn’t really bother me but GOD that fucking discordant piano tune freaks me the hell out. Idk why but it is so creepy to me. If I’m alone and doing a rewatch or edit where I need clips from that scene I have to mute it because it bugs me so much lol.

Answered Terror here :-)

Expedition - top 5 favorite characters?

(I tiered them because I like a few of them equally lol)

Top favorites tier

Silna and Hickey

Second favorites tier

Irving, Hartnell, and Hodgson

Bonus characters that don’t make top five but I think about them often

Tozer, Gibson, Little, Real Hickey, Billy Orren, John Weekes

Thank you for the asks! :-)

[stargirlfeyre]

I'm new to the acotar fandom, I recently joined tumblr and tiktok and Jesus christ these apps are fucking insane???? Why do ppl dislike Feyre and insist Nesta is better than her?? Nesta is literally so bitchy I was hoping to see hate abt her but turns out I was wrong. AND THE MOR HATE???? and all that over fucking ERIS like??? Over a mid ass MAN who you know nothing about???? And Elain being hated for being a girly girl?? And don't even get me started on gwynriel- I didn't even think they'd be a thing, it's crazy to me. And the elain won't be able to have azriel's babies thing? Like WHO CARES. Why are you limiting a woman to her child bearing ability WHY DO YOU HATE WOMEN SO MUCH. And I've seen so many Nesta stans who are anti Rhys defend Nesta saying she's been through a lot but then hate on rhys like okay? What about rhys who's been through 50 years of abuse + had his whole family killed because of his best friend. Also I feel like azriel is lowkey overhyped 🫣 don't get me wrong he's my second favourite bat boy, (1st is rhys obv) I was giggling and kicking my feet when he went to rescue elain and when he got angry in the high lords meeting. I love my dark broody men. But why are there more az fics than rhys/feysand fics 😭😭😭 also acosf is so bad.

Anyways I'm done with my rant thank you for listening 🙏 the conclusion is I hate this fandom. (I apologise for my lack of proper punctuation 😔)

Babe RUN. RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!

[elliethejellie]

Hello My Lovelies~! I'm so excited to tell you that MY WRITING COMMISSIONS ARE FINALLY OFFICIALLY OPEN!!

Read the Specifics Under the Cut!!

For anyone that doesn't know me, my name is Kiki, and I'm so glad to be joining the Ko-Fi peeps! I've been meaning to for a while now, but life got in the way and I had to handle some crazy things going on first. But here I am! 

I'm am finally getting my writing commissions going! Starting at $10 for every thousand words, I will write for any fandom that I'm in as long as I'm familiar with the characters! Here's a small list of the fandoms I'm in (although there are more, but this is just a baseline)! 

FNAF, TADC, Marvel, Gravity Falls, Darling in the Franxx

If you have another fandom you're interested in receiving content for, then don't be afraid to ask me if I can! I'm always down for researching characters if I'm interested in whatever content you're looking for! I also post all of my fanfics/oneshots right here on Tumblr, so if you want to gauge my skills or talent, feel free to check out my long-form fics, "Tainted Magic, Tainted Blood" and "The LoveBug Virus", or some of my oneshots, such as "Mirror" or "And Here You Were".

I hope I can make a lot of people happy by doing this! So please don't be afraid to be as open/detailed as you'd like to get the content you want from me!

[aintitfierce]

GET TO KNOW YOUR ADMIN !!

NAME -- masha

PRONOUNS -- she/her, but they/them or it/its could be nice. i won't kick up a fuss to he/him, either, but it does give me a brief pause

PREFERRED COMMS -- lies down probably IMs here, unfortunately. i have 'not getting out of this chair-itis' rip also my computer (not the laptop) is like 15 years old and dying a slow death so i can't open more than a single tab and maybe my pictures folder without everything slowing to the speed of molasses on a cold day

HOWEVER, i have gotten over myself a little bit and i do have an active discord now. so i've been thinking about moving some stuff there

NAME OF MUSE -- vanya, but he prefers pretty vanya or anything similarly Fawning. he has a noticeable, unexplained fondness for being referred to as the nondescript 'creature' as well

EXPERIENCE IN RP -- my first experience with RP was in the gaiaonline forums as a teenager lmAO. i used to scrounge around in the forums for any literary magical school-based RPs. then i kinda fell away from it once i left the site. i didn't pick it back up again until after i'd been on tumblr for a few months in 2013-2014 or so, stumbled into the kung fu panda fandom and made a friend who got me into RPing canon characters through skype ghfhiieo then i opened up an ask blog in june 2014 which very quickly morphed into just a RP blog instead and the rest is history

BEST EXPERIENCES -- back on gaia i joined a roleplay which was taking place in some school for people with super powers (i was in a lot of those as u might have guessed, they were my favorites lmao). me and one other person were the only ones awake and active at one point and it was just a rapid fire interaction between our muses for a couple pages, after which we laughed at The Shenanigans bc we were pretty sure our two characters had just become the comic relief of the entire thread and wondered how the other players were going to react when they inevitably came back

honestly i just remember it being a ton of fun. that style of RP is so incredibly foreign to me now, but nostalgic

PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS -- i had to take a long time to think about this, and i think the number one thing that gets to me is infomodding. i very much prefer having a running tally of what our muses each know about each other and more importantly what they Don't. i wrote with someone once who would occasionally consider what they knew about my muse to be fair game for their muse to know as well, without any reasoning for how they'd know this information or when they found it out

additionally, the only other thing i can think of that does get to me pretty badly is related to pacing. like i mention below, i like interactions that feel relatively real and natural, and sometimes that means letting the conversation unfold on its own and allowing awkward silences and lulls to play out to their conclusions. it drives me a little crazy when i'm just getting comfortable in a conversational thread but my writing partner is instead evidently feeling Bored with the small talk, so they inject some drama or some other bombshell to Liven It Up and get the action rolling orz usually has killed the thread for me in the past

MUSE PREFERENCE ( FLUFF, ANGST, SMUT ) -- out of these three probably angst, but i rarely RP it bc i don't feel that i'm very good at it. also idk how Seriously people could pretty vanya angst lmao

i've done so little actual RPing with him (my own fault, tbh) that i don't really know what my preference is with him yet. him being captured by big jack bc there were rumors about him being Powerful And Rare has probably been one of my favorite interactions so far. i admittedly do enjoy writing more antagonistic interactions more than i do friendlier ones

PLOT OR MEMES -- my Natural State is that of a pantser, to be completely honest, but there's a special place in my heart for plotted threads. i do enjoy laying out the basics and then letting it go with a check-in every now and again when one of us is running out juice or Unsure about anything

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES -- either or. i'm no good at one-liners, and i struggle with novella length (condensing my partner's response into something i can reply to while being careful to keep the story Moving takes a lot of brainpower for me). i do however love replies and threads and partners, perhaps, who are okay with letting some parts of the conversation Drop and potentially come back into play later. i like that sense of continuity, where it feels like a real or natural interaction two people might have with lulls in the conversation and callbacks

BEST TIME TO WRITE -- at this point i have no clue wheezes

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE? -- lord i hope not lmao

[sparxaf]

7, 10, and 13!

7. What OC (yours or someone else's) can't you get enough of?

These are really hard. For my own work, I'm gonna say Maitland in TSIME. She's a side character and one of Bobby's best friends. She's unpretty, she's grumpy, she has no time for feelings, but underneath her crusty exterior is a person who loves HARD. I just adore her. I also have a great love of Siobhan in TSIME. For other people's OC's, that's tough. There are so many I could list. But I think I'm gonna go with Sadie from The Greatest of Them All. She's sweet, strong, smart, and batshit crazy and I love her. The Scorpio rising in me honors the Scorpio that must live in her. Because she is SPITEFUL. I could read many more stories about her life with Bobby.

10. What's a theory/headcanon that you would die on the hill of?

Hmmm. Sam just reminded me that I basically wrote an essay on why my favorite fuckboy Levi cheats. It's a whole long build up I won't post here, but basically Levi feels his only worth is in WINNING. In being perfect. And he's desperate to feel like he can be loved even if he fucks up. Which is why he cheated and then immediately flew home and told Luci. And Luci of course, dumped him without hearing him out (as is her right) but to him proved that yet again, he isn't allowed to fuck up. Which is why, after Cherry-gate, if you give him another chance, he becomes THE UBER BOYFRIEND. He's the fucking best. Because you gave him space to fuck everything up, but you still cared about him. You stuck around and now, he'll fucking die for you.

13. What's your favourite moment during your time in the fandom?

It happened a long time ago, but back when my first exposure to the fandom was Twitter, there was a lot of weird shit happening. Long before the Tumblr accounts, there were S2 characters tweeting. And there were two Bobby accounts. I was in a Bobby stan Twitter GC and one of the Bobby accounts joined the chat. Everyone went bonkers and we all just sort of roleplayed that Bobby was our group boyfriend. It was extremely weird 😂 But then one day, THE OTHER BOBBY JOINED. LE GASP. And the two Bobbys fought for our hearts. Sides were chosen, accusations were hurled, and in the end, one Bobby was CAST OUT of our love nest. To this day I can't see the Spiderman gif where the two point at each other without thinking of the Battle of the Bobbys.

Also, side note, afterward, I found out that it was the same person running both Bobby accounts, so she was fighting with herself and somehow, that made it even weirder and funnier to me. She told me she got bored so she spiced it up 🤣🤣🤣.

Thank you for the ask, @longbobmckenzie!

[umnitsa]

TLDR: Things changed in fandom and I'm not sure I like it anymore; it's a sign of the times and I don't know what to do

I see many fanfic writers taking mental health time. Hell, I am too.

I started writing fanfic almost 30 years ago. Before I reached the internet. I wrote them for myself, in big notebooks that I had to hide from my mother, because I was a horny little thing and I really wanted to fuck Captain Kirk and Data (mostly Data - I fully blame Data for being a rampant technosexual).

It was so much fun, but something in me wanted to show those writings to people. I wanted to share my thoughts and my words. Sadly, some of it was immensely dirty and I have always been ashamed of my writing. Ended up ripping all the notebooks in little pieces and throwing them away.

I grew up, internet started being a thing and I found out fanfiction. I'm Brazilian, you see; English is my second language. So at that time I read more than wrote, but I didn't have the courage to post anything anyway. I felt the desire to be a part of it, anyway.

In my early 20s, LiveJournal happened to me. And that's when things took a turn. I really really wanted to write, so I joined Stargate RPGs, and wrote with a LOT OF PEOPLE. It was immensely fun and those people welcomed with open arms, even if I didn't write well or didn't write that well in English.

If my written English is good I credit to them fully. We plotted and plotted and wrote and wrote...

I wrote so many awesome stories (some dirty and some not). I still remember one story arc where my character was uploaded to Atlantis and I had SO MUCH FUN writing him awakening through commands, heavily inspired by my experience with Linux at the time. It was beautiful, honestly, writing my sweet Nemecsek confused, trying to regain his senses through trial and error as his whole being became a machine (Nemecsek was his nickname, I love 'The Paul Street Boys' - there was a reason for the reference, but I digress).

LiveJournal had the Kink Memes too, and they were insane. People anonymously prompted the most varied kinks and characters, and writers anonymously filled them. We were... Free. If you didn't like the kink you could jump to another thread. Most of the comments were commenting the works, some prompts were filled multiple times and some of them never got to be filled. The variety of kinks and kinds of writing were glorious. No one judged. People understood it seemed to be a space of exploration (in many many ways).

I wrote in other fandoms, and people were nice and kind. Never got a single shitty comment; people either helped me improve or left me alone... Well, left me to write with my friends.

LJ started going bad, I tried Dreamwidth, and I saw the birth of AO3, joined Tumblr for the long form RPGs, but things weren't the same for me.

Life started happening, and I didn't write fanfic for a LONG LONG TIME. The experience with fanfic gave me confidence to write in Portuguese, my own stories. I kept writing, just not fanfic.

I came back recently, and I decided for Tumblr; I like the things I know. I wanted to write erotica. I realized I love erotica as a vehicle to show different sides of characters, what can I say? I was raised reading Harlequin romances and I was a BIG FAN of Ellora's Cave. It is what it is and I will not complain or explain myself further.

But things were different. There was this crazy pressure. In the era of content, fanfic doesn't seem to be an act of love anymore. It's a platform to raise a public. To become famous (fuck Cassandra Clare, I remember where she came from). It became weirdly professional in crazy ways (well, crazy for me).

People demand everything now, from updates to perfection, passing through stances in public discourse.

I feel this insane pressure. I can't just 'write' anymore. People plan and work their way to followers and... It's all so polished I feel I can't just write.

I'm afraid of sharing now. I AM AFRAID OF SHARING AND THIS IS INSANE. Fandom have always been about sharing. Sharing opinions, sharing art, filling gaps, playing carelessly with plot holes and characteristics.

I'm trying. I'm really trying to come back, and I see people trying to come back, but it's hard to do it with this pressure.

I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to fight and keep writing, making friends. Part of me is insanely afraid of being seen. I don't tag my shit right, I can't afford these shitty interactions. I get anxious whenever people share my stuff, even if I truly want people to see it; I keep asking myself when is someone going to be shitty to me.

So I get it, my friends. Take your time. I'll miss your writing. I hope it's still flourishing in your beautiful minds, even if I can't see it. I wish I could be sharing it with you, but I completely understand. Please take care. I'll be here when you come back.