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californianedgeworth · 11 months

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I wrote this tirade about the Gavinners' theme in my notes app months ago but I had no Ace Attorney fans to share it with but I have a tumblr blog now so I will unleash it upon all of you:

We only know 2 of the 5 Gavinner members. There have to be 5 since there are two guitarists, a bassist, a drummer, and a keyboard player as established by the instruments in Turnabout Serenade. But the only ones with canon appearances and names are the guitarists, Klavier Gavin and Daryan Crescend. Since we know less than half of the band, it sends my mind running who the others could be. It would have been so fun to see all the designs of the band, but we don’t! So I just have to imagine what they look like, possibly based off of Klavier and Daryan. Some people have made their own headcanons and fanart, and I like them but I feel like there’s an important matter they never touch on.

As far as Klavier goes, his design is straightforward.

(sorry his png is so damn big. I figured out how to edit in html to make the image smaller but every time I save the textpost draft it undoes my edit. no I will not open a photo editor to size him down)

When I show a picture of him to my friends who haven’t played Ace Attorney, they ask if he’s a rockstar. And he is! His design conveys the fact. He’s also a lawyer, so his style strikes somewhere between courtroom attire and rockstar. A lot of the Ace Attorney designs are fun and great at conveying character, and I’d say Klavier is a pretty solid design.

But then there’s Daryan, who is dressed like a shark.

Idk if anyone else agrees but I’m not a fan of Daryan’s design. I also don’t really like him as a character either tbh. If he wasn’t holding a guitar, would it even be clear that he’s a rockstar? All the Gavinners members are part of law enforcement, but you can’t really tell Daryan is a police officer either. His design kind of bewilders me. With Klavier, you can tell a lot just by looking at him. What comes to mind when you look at Daryan is “shark man”. I mean, shark man’s a sick design concept, but I don’t like looking at Daryan! I think it has a lot to do with his ugly ass hair. His hoodie’s fun, but I don't like his hair. It's an unfortunate shape. And I think the people agree: half the fanart I see of him, they change his hair.

Usually with bands, you expect them to share a common style. But in the rock band the Gavinners, one of the members is dressed like a rockstar, and one of them is dressed like a shark. Like, I guess you could argue that Daryan is kind of in line, and his fashion fits into the rocker style. But I don’t know, in my mind the fact he’s a shark guy makes him very inconsistent with Klavier to me. So that got me wondering, what percentage of the Gavinners is dressed as rockstars vs Gavinners dressed as marine animals? I thought through some of the possibilities and proposed the ones that are funniest to me

Ratio 1 - 4 Rockstars to 1 Marine-Themed Star

This would mean Daryan is the odd one out. The weirdo who is a little too into Sharkboy and Lava Girl. A band of 4 guys who wear similar rockstar styles and then there’s just Daryan in his shark hoodie.

Ratio 2 - Split 2 to 3 Either Way

In this scenario, the band can’t agree on what their theme is. Half are dressed in chains and leather, the other half are out of a marine biology textbook

Ratio 3 - 1 to 1 to 1 to 1 to 1

The Gavinners has no theming in the costume department. Each member is dressed however they like. Aesthetic nightmare

Ratio 4 - 1 Rockstar to 4 Marine-Themed Stars

I imagine it like this:

A 16-year-old Klavier Gavin walks into the studio, which at that time is the Gavin family’s garage. The Gavinners have just come together recently, and are rehearsing for their first show. But when Klavier enters, he finds his band mates are dressed up as a shark, a wrasse, a clownfish, and a lobster.

Klavier is confused, because he thought that the Gavinners was going to be themed after Klavier Gavin. He expresses this thought to his band.

Daryan tells him that since Klavier decided to name the band after himself, it was only fair the rest of the band mates got to choose the theme. And they were all super into sea life, so they dressed up as their favorite marine animals.

Klavier is annoyed they didn’t talk through it with him and says that maybe their theme is getting a little muddled. But since they’re all so enthusiastic, he’ll try it out. And he wants to be a merman.

All the other members side eye Klavier. A merman isn’t a real animal, they tell him. Maybe he could be a manatee, a seahorse, a sea angel, a parrot fish? All of those creatures are just as majestic and beautiful as mermen, and they actually exist. Despite Klavier’s protests, the rest of the band does not budge. They persuade him to be a parrotfish.

The day comes for their first show. They got Klavier a parrotfish costume, which he keeps making faces at as they set up.

Klavier tells the other Gavinners he doesn’t want to wear the fish head hat since it will cover up his fresh haircut, but they insist he should. As they get ready in the dressing room, Klavier excuses himself to the bathroom.

When they’re called to the stage, Klavier has not returned. They assume he might already be onstage, or will be there soon. As they all get there and Klavier does not, they start to feel concern. Klavier is their lead singer and guitarist. He’d been thinking of nothing but their show for days, so it’s strange he’s suddenly missing. They ask the manager to delay the curtain call for a few minutes. The manager denies them, saying they’re on a tight schedule and they don’t want to delay the performers coming after the Gavinners. The band considers going into the bathroom to check on Klavier, or if they could perform without him.

As the curtain begins to rise, Klavier finally walks out on stage and joins the rest of them. But he’s not in a parrotfish costume. He is in a matching black shirt and pants combo with silver chains. Not even close to being parrotfish themed. The bandmates are shocked, but know they can’t make a fuss about it when the show is starting. They give him glares while they play. But they know they must look so bad when they’re all dressed up as various fish and an arthropod while their lead singer isn’t. The performance is received well despite the tension, but there are some mild comments on how strange the costuming is. Once it’s over, the bandmates confront Klavier, but he absolutely refuses to dress as a parrotfish for any of their future shows. When they realize they can’t change his mind (and they still won’t change their minds about letting him be a merman), they agree to just go to shows that way. Four of them dressed up as ocean animals, while the lead singer is not.

Over time, the other bandmates eventually give up on the whole marine life shtick. If they’re not all coordinated, what’s the point? And from their dressing room in the AA4, it looks like the band’s styling is in line with Klavier’s. But as the other members shed their marine life costumes, one keeps his through it all: Daryan. As the band builds regard and a fan base, he remembers how Klavier ruined their theme. So many of their arguments over the music and the band image are started because Daryan is secretly wounded no one dresses up as a fish with him. Now this gets into theory territory because I believe this could be his true motivator in Turnabout Serenade—

#ace attorney #the gavinners #klavier gavin #my txtstuff #as you can see I have a lot of thoughts about this #aa #ace attorney headcanon

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acutiewithagun · 11 months

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A lovely day for rain

Tw: kidnapping, paranoia, drained reader, mention of needles once, police, forced affection

Taglist: @oleander-nin @itsyagurlchip @radicallxser

“You know… you can leave at any time.”

He whispered soft venomous words into your ear as he held you in his lap. Hugging his arms around your waist as he rested his chin on your shoulder.

“None of the doors are locked… I even told the others it was fine.” Your shoulders slightly perked up with hope. Feeling the sun on your face without being monitored... Getting to see your loved ones again… it felt like a fever dream hearing those words full of faux comfort.

“Not that you'd last long out there…” The blue banded terrapin chuckled dryly as he nuzzled his snout against your neck. “... You'd soon see how much better it is here and come running back.”

Your heart held a stoney doubt from his words as he churred and hugged you tightly. “But if you just ask you can leave at any time.” With bated breath you fiddled your fingers. “Could I leave now?”

He hummed and leaned back, releasing you from his embrace, fingers twitching to hug you again. Sprinting from the train car, you snatched the opportunity. Not minding the others as they watched you run through the abandoned subway station, jetting to the surface.

Unfortunately you were met with pouring rain instead of the free sunshine you longed to feel. That didn't deter you however as you ran. There was no trust of knowing what he'd do next, all you had to do is run.

Your legs burned as you stumbled into your apartment. You were lucky that your bank account auto paid rent and that you kept the spare key just under the door. You flopped on your bed, tired from all the running you did. But you still had to contact your loved ones.

Everything was in the same place as when he kidnapped you months ago. Blankets and pillows filled the small apartment from the events of that night. Picking up your very dead phone, you slipped it onto the charger, praying it still worked.

As you waited you got a cup of water and downed it quickly. Still very on edge, every creak and honking of horns outside had your skin crawl. You nursed the cup in your hand before getting more, feeling extremely dehydrated.

Suddenly you heard the sound of your phone coming back to life and all but stumbled to unlock it. After waiting an excruciating amount of seconds you unlocked it, messing up the password a few times from nerves. Once unlocked your heart fluttered as you opened your contacts. Only for it to drop like a weight in a pool. Everyone was gone…

You opened your apps frantically just to see you were logged out of every single one. And the password had changed. It had been so long that you couldn't remember anyone's number, so you couldn't contact them.

That Jupiter Jim loving-

You took a shaking breath as your hands covered your mouth and nose. Calm down, think this through… You could figure this out. After a few strained breaths you dropped your tired hands and sat back, emotionally and physically exhausted.

It was freedom, but it sure as hell didn't feel like it. And if it was this was, it was a messed up freedom.

Your eyes widened as you scrambled up, remembering one form of communication he could digitally erase. Frantically searching, you shoved things around your counters as you pulled out a box. Letters!

Biting the inside of your cheek, you looked through the envelopes that were held inside. However all the return addresses were crossed out. Having never shown him this box, you check again. Still the same marked out return addresses.

You groaned in defeat and slumped to the floor as tears filled your eyes. You did everything you could think of. Another envelope caught your eye as you tried sucking in what felt like a trapped fate.

Begrudgingly you left your disappointed stupor on the frigid floor. Reaching out you tiredly caught the envelope and opened it, not bothering to check the return address, knowing it would be crossed out. Inside was a paper letting you know of your termination from your job. Eyes widening at the news brought the tears finally flooding down.

How- How had he planned this!? When!?

Glancing over the letter again an epiphany grabbed your attention. The police… No matter how much they might not do, you could at least get in contact with your loved ones. At least that was the hope.

You slammed the letter down onto the counter and rushed out of your dinky apartment. Despite what a short rest you had, desperation clinged to anything that would get you away from that mutant.

Tears continued to pour down as you sprinted to the police station. You knew you looked like a mess and you didn't care. Anything to finally connect with the people you love, to have that freedom you craved.

Stumbling through the door a few people inside stared in surprise, others in disgust. You shook it off, wiping away the streaming liquid. You walked to the front desk, the person there giving you a judgemental look. You took in a deep breath before stuttering out your name and asking for someone to help you contact friends or family.

The person only nodded and called to another worker, motioning them over. Faith fluttered in your heart again as they covertly conversed with one another. This was your last effort, you had to hope as much as possible.

Disappointment reared its head as the second person walked away. But you clung to the plea of freedom as the first person you talked to motioned you to sit down. So you awkwardly sat down in the waiting room.

Rubbing your tear stained cheek, you watched the bustling city outside with growing paranoia. You were searching the crowds for that signature lime green skin, that stupid blue bandana, those eyes that told of obsession. Every second felt like little needles piercing your head as you nervously waited.

Your name was called as gravity pulled on your entire world. Snapping your head to the voice, you saw the one person you didn't want to see more than anything, waving to you with a bright smile.

Leonardo Hamato

All you could feel was defeat and exhaustion in every sense of the word as he helped you up. He waved to the officers with thanks as you both started walking towards your prison.

“So… did we have fun on our little adventure?” He leaned beside you to whisper softly as his arm reached around your back, landing his hand on your waist. You looked at him with a tired glare, earning a chuckle from him as he squeezed you against his side. “Oh don't give me that! I said you could leave where you wanted. I never said anything about having something to come back to.”

You wanted nothing more than to just fall over or punch him in the face. He only took notice of your near fainting, picking you up without a fight. Everything was a haze as he nuzzled your neck once more. “I told you how you'd be running back…”

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt self insert #a cutie with a gun writes #yandere rottmnt

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fandom-alley · 1 year

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Want You Like That

Summary: Spencer has a massive crush on a NYC based pop rock singer, thanks to Penelope getting him addicted to the tiktok app. He convinces the team to see her perform at a bars grand opening after their latest case in the city. He has the best night of his life. Pairing: Spencer Ried/Fem Reader Content: Fluff, smut Warnings: alcohol consumption, age gap, sex 18+Work Count: 6.1k a/n: Spencer's addiction storyline does not exist in this story

on AO3

Song inspiration for this story: Want You Like That by Charlotte Sands Bad Day by Charlotte Sands Snow Angel by Renee Rapp Vampire by Olivia Rodrigo

It had been 182 days since Spencer Reid had stumbled upon Y/n and her band on tiktok. He wouldn’t have found her, become almost obsessed with her, if it wasn’t for Penelope introducing him to the addicting app. Spencer had almost been late to work on multiple occasions since she downloaded the app for him, thanks to getting lost in the mesmerizing one to three minute videos Y/n posted multiple times a day.

He had to catch up on them every morning while he had his coffee, which would get cold sitting on the table as he scrolled and watched, getting sucked into the time vortex that was tikok.

Spencer didn’t even care to use the app enough to get a for you page that was tailored to his interests. All he used the app for was to watch Y/n and her distracting cotton candy blue and pink hair. Her cute little dances, or her day in the life in New York City, or clips from her and her band performing in night clubs and bars. He was mesmerized by the black and grey ink that stained her arms and legs, and he would let his imagination go wild on if or where her other tattoo’s lived beneath her clothing.

If he had to say what his preferred genre of music was, he would probably say classical. The likes of Beethoven and Mozart. If you had asked him 182 days ago if he would become obsessed with pop rock he would have laughed. Although technically he wasn’t obsessed with all pop rock artists. Just Y/n and her band.

When the BAU was brought in on a case in NYC, Spencer's mind immediately went to thoughts of running into Y/n on the streets. Or in a coffee shop. Or even, and he couldn't even believe his brain thought of this, saving her from an unsub. However, none of those scenarios came to light. The case was cut and dry and solved within 48 hours.

"Well, looks like that's it for us," Emily said to the team. They were crowded around a small table in the New York city police department. "Let's go back to the hotel, pack up, and head to the airport."

Spencer's shoulders slouched in defeat. He wouldn't be running into Y/n this time around in New York city.

Just as they were packing up to leave, Emily's phone rang. While she was occupied, the rest of the team took out their phones as well. As inconspicuous as he could be, Spencer opened tiktok on his own device. He made sure the phone was muted, with his closed captions on, and went right to Y/n’s page. He didn't need sounds to appreciate her beauty and talents.

He was shocked to find a new video posted just a few minutes ago, so he eagerly clicked on it. Before it could even play all the way through he hit the little heart on the side and added the video to his favourites file.

As Spencer watched and read the subtitles on the video, he realized this was a surprise announcement. Y/n and her band were playing an exclusive show tonight at the grand opening of a new bar around the corner from their hotel.

Spencer's heart dropped into the pit of his stomach. They were set to leave tonight, and he would miss it. She would be so close, and he wasn’t going to get the opportunity to see her in real life. But then his brain went into overdrive, trying to think of possible reasons he could tell the team why he wasn't going to be heading back with them tonight. He could fake an illness. Or say his mom was on her way to the city and he was to be her tour guide.

They would see right through him. Spencer wasn’t great at making things up. The one time he lied to the team about having a head cold and wasn’t able to fly with them for fear of ear drum damage, he actually just wanted to attend the all night multi showing of the Halloween movies. Emily caught on in an instant but she let him have his night. Then made him complete all their paperwork when they were back as punishment.

"There's something wrong with the jet," Emily said to the team when she hung up her call. "Some system rebooting or something. They've booked us on a commercial flight back, but it doesn't leave until tomorrow morning. Everyone okay with that?"

Spencer couldn't believe his ears. Did he wish this into existence? He wanted an extra night in the city and now he got it.

"Fine by me. I could use a night out in the city," Tara laughed.

"How about we all go out together?" JJ suggested.

"Team bonding experience," said Luke. "Where should we go?"

They were quiet for a few moments as they thought of all the places and things they could do in one night in New York city.

"There's a grand opening for a bar not too far from the hotel. We could go there?" Spencer suggested to the team.

"That's a good idea! We wouldn't have to worry about taxis and trains trying to get back to the hotel. How did you hear about this?" Emily asked.

"I just saw a flyer somewhere for it," Spencer shrugged. "There's going to be live music and specialty drinks."

“I never thought I’d see the day where Spencer suggests going to a bar instead of an obscure foreign movie playing at an underground theatre at midnight.” laughed JJ.

“Well, now that you mention it, JJ, there is a movie playing tonight at this really cool-”

“No!” The team yelled in unison, cutting him off mid sentence.

“We’re going to the bar. It’s final.” Emily said. Spencer bit back his smile as he tried to hide his excitement.

It was already pretty late into the evening, and the party at the bar was set to start in just over an hour. Not wanting to waste another second of free time, since it was so rare for them, the team raced into their Government-issued vehicles and drove back to the hotel. With a quick confirmation that they would meet in the lobby in half an hour and walk to the bar together, they disappeared into their respective rooms.

Spencer spent a few minutes pacing the length of his room, his thoughts once again on overdrive. He was about to see Y/n in person. A girl he never thought he would actually get to see. He was about to see all the stuff that had hypnotised him in her videos, in real life. Like her vibrant colourful hair swaying back and forth as she ran across stage, or the swirling inky vine that made it’s up her arm and disappeared under her clothing. But most importantly he was about to hear her angelic yet angry voice as she sang her songs that were a mixture of angsty pop and rock.

After all these thoughts, Spencer realized he needed to start getting ready or he would be late meeting the team. After the quickest shower he’s ever had, to wash the stressful day away, he got dressed in the only clothes he had. A pair of dress pants, and a purple collard shirt. He went without the matching tie.

With one minute to spare, Spencer made it downstairs to the lobby where the team was waiting.

“Cutting it close, pretty boy,” Tara laughed as she slapped a sheepish looking Spencer on the back.

Spencer was on autopilot mode as they walked the few blocks to the bar. He was lost in thoughts, trailing a few steps behind. However, once they reached the bar and stood in the short line to the entrance, his heart felt like it was in his throat. This was it. This was happening.

The wait to get in was short. The bouncer checked their ID’s, which made them all feel giddy and like teenagers, since they were all in their 40’s or more by now. The girls took that giddiness and went right to get celebratory shots at the bar. Spencer and Luke followed behind them, and when Spencer was handed a shot by JJ with a raised eyebrow, Spencer threw it back, barely wincing as the sting of alcohol made its way down his throat. He wasn’t one to drink much, the hangover headaches weren’t worth it for him, since he usually needed his brain to be in complete working order for his profession. But tonight? Tonight he felt like he needed a little extra help to calm those nerves.

What are the odds that I’ll even get to talk to her? He asked himself. Before he could do the actual maths and figure it out, the bartender was getting his attention, asking him if he wanted a drink. He ordered a rum and coke, then went and stood near his friends.

While sipping his way too strong to be a single shot of rum drink, he surveyed the bar. It was definitely new. The floor didn’t feel sticky, none of the tables looked chipped or graffitied on, and everything still had that new smell. A large stage at the back of the bar was lit up, where an artist he had never heard of was performing. Right below the bar was the dance floor, with tables and booths lining the walls. Upstairs were other tables, where Spencer watched as a waitress dressed in way too tight clothing to be comfortable, served a tray of food to a group of rowdy guys.

Spencer was definitely over dressed for a bar. Even his friends had managed to pack themselves with clothing that wasn't work related.

It wasn't long before Emily was whisked away by a guy, Luke found himself surrounded by a group of girls, and JJ and Tara were off to the side chatting. Spencer found himself wandering into the crowd near the stage.

“Hey there,” a girl said, running her hand up his arm to grab his attention. Spencer jumped back, surprised by the action. “You look a little lost. Can I help you find the way?” She batted her eyes at him.

“I’m okay, thank you,” he politely declined. She sighed and rolled her eyes, moving on to the next boy since she didn’t get her way. Spencer watched as she walked right up to someone younger and played the same move, except he accepted and whisked her away to a dark spot in the room. Spencer turned away and continued making his way closer to the stage.

He managed to find a spot close to the front that was off to the side, slightly hidden behind one of the massive speakers that was sure to hurt his hearing later in the evening. He stood awkwardly, sipping on his drink.

Finally, the lights lowered in the building and people started crowding closer to the stage. Spencer held his spot, being careful not to spill his drink on the girls who stood in front of him as he was jostled around. His heart sped up as he watched the shadowy figures of Y/n and her band make their way onto the stage in the dark.

There were a few breaths of silence before a spotlight lit up on the guitar players as they began to play, then the moment Spencer didn't know he was holding his breath for. The lights shone upon Y/n and she began to sing. Spencer watched in awe as she jumped around the stage with her band, dressed in a breathtaking black leather outfit, her blue and pink hair flowing with her. God, he wanted to run his fingers through that hair. Every time she made her way to his side of the stage his breathing would speed up and his heart would skip beats.

Spencer chugged the rest of his drink, feeling the alcohol go straight to his head. Seriously, how many shots did that bartender put in there? Whatever, he revelled in the light feeling it gave him. He started to loosen up and move his body with the music, following along with the people surrounding him. The girls in front of him took notice, and they screamed and yelled and grabbed onto his arms, pulling him into their little group.

They were clearly surprised that someone in a business casual getup was in a bar dancing and singing along to the live music, and they loved it. Spencer actually found himself having fun. He took his eyes off of Y/n to laugh with the girls around him as they each took turns grabbing his hands and jumping up and down with him as they sang along.

“I had a no good really bad messed up day!” They sang, or more like yelled, along. Spencer didn’t even realize that they had gathered their own little crowd that was cheering them on as they let loose.

He also didn’t realize Y/n had moved onto the next song because he was having so much fun, until he looked up at a particular lyric and found her staring right at him.

Spencer lost the motor function to his body. His new crowd of girls continued to dance around him as he breathlessly watched Y/n make her way across to the stage to his side as she sang, eyes locked on him the whole time.

“I brace for the damage. You’re perfect, I panic. So happy, it’s tragic,” Y/n sang, and as she got closer to Spencer she pointed her finger right at him. “Yeah, I want you like that.”

Spencer’s breath left him. The girls started screaming louder as Y/n pointed at him, and they shook him around in excitement that he was getting noticed by her.

Y/n gave him a wink, and Spencer felt as if he was 15 again, like he was going to faint because he just got noticed by his crush.

Not able to spend her whole set standing there looking at Spencer, Y/n continued on with the next song and moving about the stage. But Spencer noticed every chance she got, she was now sending looks his way. It made his heart flutter every single time.

“Do you know her?” One of the girls around him asked. Well, more like yelled to be heard over the music. Spencer bent down to reply closer to her ear so he wouldn’t have to yell as much.

“No, but I’m pretty sure I’m in love with her.”

The girl smiled and laughed, and for a second Spencer thought she was about to make fun of him. Here he was, clearly older and at a bar fawning over a much younger woman who would probably never give him the time of day, she was so out of his league. But the look she gave him said anything but mockery.

“What’s your name?” she asked instead of pointing out the obvious facts that he didn’t really belong in this crowd.

“Spencer. What’s yours?”

“I’m Ellie. It’s really nice to meet you, Spencer.”

“You too. Thank you for dancing with me.”

“It was my pleasure. I’m gonna run to the bathroom. I might lose you in the crowd but I had so much fun!”

She was gone before he could even say goodbye.

Spencer spent the duration of Y/n’s last few songs on stage taking it all in. He was finally seeing her in person, and she was even better live than in her tiktoks. And not to mention just absolutely gorgeous. His heart squeezed at the thought of never getting to tell her just how beautiful she was. But like he had thought earlier, she was out of his league and he didn’t really belong with this crowd.

When Y/n sang the last note of her last song, the bar erupted into shouts and applause, clearly having loved her performance. Spencer joined right in with everyone. He watched intently as Y/n bowed, thanked her band, and then she turned around and blew a kiss right to Spencer.

He didn’t know how to react. He just stood there stunned and watched as they made their way off the stage. His crowd of girls tried to get his attention and talk to him, but he just thanked them for a fun evening and turned to leave.

Before he could make his way out of the bar to meet up with the team, his path was blocked by a rather large security man.

“Are you Spencer?” he asked in a voice so deep it vibrated Spencer’s ear drums.

“Yes, sir.” he swallowed.

“Come this way.” The man walked along the side wall and Spencer had no choice but to follow. Soon they made their way into a staff only entrance door, and Spencer wondered if he was about to be arrested for being 40 years old in a bar. Because what else had he done that would warrant an arrest tonight? Not that being old in a bar was arrest worthy either, but it was all his hazy brain could think of right now.

Clearly in the backstage area, Spencer spotted members of Y/n’s band packing away their instruments. He tried to crane his neck to see if he could spot her, but the intimidating security man led him down a secluded hallway and then into a room with an unmarked door. He didn’t say anything else as he left Spencer standing there, closing the door tightly as he exited the room.

Confused, Spencer looked around him. The lights were dim, and there was a couch pushed against the far wall, and the opposite wall held some mirrors above tables that were covered in beauty products. A clothing rack was next to the door, where a few outfits hung from.

Is this a dressing room? Why did I just get put into a dressing room? He questioned himself.

After what felt like hours but was probably just a minute or two, he heard a voice behind him that made him jump.

“You can take a seat, you know.”

It was Y/n.

Spencer turned around and his breath caught in his throat. She was no longer wearing the black leather outfit she wore on stage, but instead was in a baggy t-shirt with a pair of leggings. Her face was free of the stage makeup, still a little bit wet so Spencer assumed she had been in an adjoining bathroom since he didn’t see her when he first walked in.

“You're Spencer, right?” she asked him.

Unable to form words right now, he nodded his head yes, making her smile. He cleared his throat so he could find his voice. “How did you know?”

“I recognized you from your tiktok profile. You like a bunch of my stuff, it’s hard to miss.” Spencer blushed at her words, at being caught admiring her. “I kept checking your profile, hoping to see you post something but you never did.”

“My friend kind of made me get the account. And then I just got hooked,” Spencer confessed.

“On tiktok?” Y/n laughed. “I know, right. It’s such an addictive app.”

“No, not on tiktok. On you.”

He managed to make Y/n speechless this time.

“Well, flattery will get you everywhere.”

It took Spencer a while to realize an important fact, because he was too busy being distracted by how beautiful Y/n looked so close in person. But once his head cleared a little bit, he remembered.

“Wait, how did you know my name was Spencer? I didn’t catch this earlier because I was distracted by how beautiful you are, but I don’t have my name on my tiktok profile.”

“I know, Dr. Reid.” Y/n said in a sultry voice. Dr. Reid was the name he went by on the app, as chosen by Penelope. “I got my friend Ellie to ask your name on the dance floor. She didn’t disappoint.”

“Ellie is your friend?” He asked, dumfounded. That girl he thought was about to make fun of him was actually spying on him for Y/n? What was happening tonight.

"I only thought it was fair I got to know your name since you already knew mine." Y/n chuckled. "And I've got to know, are you actually a doctor?" She eyed him up, taking in his outfit and dishevelled curly hair. Her big brown eyes looked hungry, and Spencer was getting lost in them.

"Yes but not in the medical sense. I have PhDs." He said quickly, not wanting to get all geeky and into details about his schooling. On any other occasion he would, but in Y/n’s dressing room? Not the time.

“Well, Doctor. Take a seat.” She pointed to the couch, and Spencer did as he was told. Y/n followed soon after, sitting right beside him. Practically on his lap. He gulped as he tried to keep his hands to himself.

“You were really great tonight,” he said.

“Thank you. You looked like you were having fun, surrounded by all those girls,” she replied with a teasing sparkle in her eyes.

“Yeah, uh, they were fun,” he croaked out.

“I know something we could do that would be even more fun,” Y/n said as she ran the tip of her finger up and down the length of his thigh.

“Aren't I a little old for you?” Spencer whispered. He was clenching his hands, trying not to reach out and grab Y/n, which he so desperately wanted to do.

“How old are you? 35?”

“I’m 40.” he stated.

“You don’t look it,” she purred into his ear. “So what’s a little 10 year age gap? My parents have a 13 year gap.”

She was straddling his lap now, inches away from sitting on the growing hard bulge in his pants. She ran the tips of her black painted nails up the length of his neck, tracing his adams apple as it bobbed with each gulp he took.

“Oh,” was all he could manage to reply.

“I gotta say, I was surprised to see you tonight. I’ve been looking for your face in the crowd of all my shows, never knowing if you’d ever actually show up or not.” she confessed.

“You have?”

“Of course. You’re probably my most active tiktok follower in terms of engaging with my posts. I was curious to see you in person, but then you never showed up.”

“I’m not from this state. It was just one of the best coincidences that could happen that made it possible for us to come tonight.” Spencer was surprised his words were coming out so clear, since his thoughts were consumed with the knowledge that this beautiful woman was sitting on his lap, hands now in his hair and massaging his scalp. He let out a content sigh and closed his eyes, loving the feeling when she would scrape across his scalp with her nails before soothing the area with the pads of her fingers.

“Us?”

“My team.” he nodded, completely unaware that he wasn't making sense to her.

When she removed her hands from his hair he opened his eyes again to find her watching him.

“Team?” she asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. She knew exactly what her actions were doing to his brain.

“My work team. We were in the city on a case, I convinced them all to come tonight so I could watch you live. So I wouldn't have to tell them all about my crush on an out of my league much younger woman,” he spilled.

“Crush you say?” Y/n spoke in hushed tones, getting closer to his ear so he could hear her better. She started to place feather light kisses along the length of his neck, causing Spencer to let out little gasps of air with each one. He was having a hard time not jutting his hips up to meet her, to gain that friction he wanted so badly. “What is it you like so much about me?”

“I, uh, I really liked your voice, at first,” he said, eyes closed as Y/n dug her hands back into his hair and tugged his head back.

“Keep going,” she urged.

“It drew me in, and then I was mesmerized by the colours of your hair.” Spencer stopped to hold back a moan as she started to suck on his neck. He would certainly be hiding a hickey from the team tomorrow morning. “The way you move on stage, it was just so addictive to watch. I kept staring at your tattoo’s, wondering how much further they went around your body under your clothing.”

Y/n pulled away from his neck and Spencer followed, desperately wanting to feel her against him in any way possible.

“My tattoo’s, huh? You want to see them?” she smirked as he nodded his head like a toddler excited for his new toy.

Spencer finally let his hands touch her. He placed them on her thighs that were still straddling his. He dug his fingers in, as a way to keep himself grounded as he watched Y/n remove her shirt. He stared at the vine tattoo that made its way up her arm, around her shoulder, and tapered off by her collar bone. It took Spencer’s brain a second to catch up and realize that she wasn’t wearing a bra underneath her shirt, and now he had a front row view of her breasts. Right in between and below them was another tattoo, a lotus flower, with what looked like dripping stars and sparkles falling from it.

Spencer sucked in a breath at the glorious sight, and he dragged Y/n’s hips closer to him, pulling her right on top of his aching member still trapped inside his pants.

They leaned in towards each other, meeting in the middle with a searing kiss. Y/n’s hands got to work unbuttoning Spencer’s purple shirt, as his hands went up and tangled into her hair. Free from his shirt, Y/n dragged her nails up and down Spencer’s chest, sending shivers throughout his body.

“Stay right here,” she whispered, pulling away from the kiss and planting her palm against his chest to push him back into the couch when he tried to follow her.

Spencer tried to regain his breathing as he watched her hips sway while walking towards the bathroom. She was back in less than a minute, with something grasped in her palm. Spencer was about to ask what it was but she dropped down to her knees in front of him and her hands went right to the zipper of his pants. All thoughts forgotten.

He lifted his hips a little to help her pull the pants down, and she took his boxers off with them. Spencer was left sitting naked on the couch with his cock straining hard for attention.

Left speechless, all Spencer could do was watch as Y/n leaned in and took his dripping cock into her mouth. The sudden warmth was intoxicating, and he threw his head back in a breathless moan.

“Fuck,” he groaned when she added her hand to twist and pull the length of him that she couldn’t get into her mouth.

Her other hand scratched and massaged the sensitive flesh of his inner thighs. He was really starting to love those long fingernails of hers.

It was only a couple of minutes of him, eyes squeezed shut in pleasure, before he felt like he was getting too close. When he looked down to find her staring up at him through her eyelashes, he had to pull her off.

“Jesus,” he said at the sight of the string of saliva from his cock to her mouth as she moved away. Spencer wanted a chance to taste her the way she had him, but before he could voice his desires she produced a condom from beside her on the floor. That must have been what she had been carrying back from the bathroom.

Speechless once again, he shivered as she rolled the condom over his length and stood up, pushing her own pants and underwear down before placing a knee on either side of him. Holding him still, she slowly lowered herself onto him until she sat flesh with his hips.

“Fuck, you’re so big,” she moaned.

Spencer could feel how tight of a fit it was. She rocked forward a tiny amount, getting used to the feeling of being so full. Spencer took the opportunity to lean forward and capture her left nipple in his mouth. He sucked the hardened bud into his mouth, rolling his tongue over it to soothe the sting each time he gave it a little nip. The pleasure was going right to Y/n’s core, as she squeezed her walls each time he took her nipple between his teeth.

He brought his hand up to massage her other breast, rolling and pinching her nipple between his fingers as Y/n’s rocking hips started to gain momentum. Her hands went to his hair, holding him in place against her breast as she lifted herself up and back down onto his hard length.

“God, you feel so good,” she moaned as her movements grew faster. Spencer moaned in agreement against her boob.

When she let go of his hair, Spencer drew back from her breast to take a breath. He placed both his hands on her hips and helped her speed up the movements, pulling her up his length to the tip and then slamming back down. He would push his hips up at the same time, going in as deep as he could.

He threw his head back onto the couch, his chest straining with each breath as he tried to keep up. He fixed his eyes back on her breasts as they bounced with each thrust. Mesmerized by the sight, he took one of his hands and started to trace the outline of her tattoos. Something he had dreamed about many times before.

“You are so beautiful,” he said when he finished his path along the black ink and made eye contact.

Y/n smiled and brought him in for another kiss. It was an awkward angle, and their movements faltered a bit as they fought for dominance in their kiss. Spencer bit her bottom lip and pulled, and Y/n groaned in pleasure.

“Fuck, I never thought this would actually happen,” Spencer said. He wrapped his arm around her waist and tried to pull her in closer. Their thrusts were losing momentum as they both were nearing their climax.

“You’ve thought about this before?” Y/n asked.

“Every night for 182 nights,” he replied, staring into her eyes.

The earnest look on his face sent her over the edge. She threw her head back in a moan and squeezed tight on his cock buried deep inside her, finally letting go as her pleasure came to its peak. Spencer wasn’t far behind. He pulled Y/n back against his chest as he desperately thrust his hips up into her, seeking his own release which came a few moments later. He buried himself as deep as he could go and let out a toe curling moan as he finally came.

They stayed together like that, Spencer holding Y/n against his chest, as their breathing started to level out. And then slowly, Spencer helped lift Y/n off his lap and placed her beside him. Quickly he removed and tied off the condom, throwing it into the garbage nearest the couch, before pulling her back into his side.

“I want you to know, I’ve never had sex backstage in the dressing room with anyone before. This was my first.” Y/n laughed quietly.

“Neither have I,” Spencer joked.

They sat like that for a while, both naked and holding on to each other, enjoying the post sex bliss. Spencer’s brain started to work again, thinking about how he would ever be able to function without Y/n now that he had had a taste of her in real life.

“So, you said you weren't from this state? You were just here with work?” Y/n asked after a while. She wanted to get to know him better.

“I work with the FBI as part of their behavioural analysis unit. We’re based in Quantico, Virginia and we travel all over the country when local police need our guidance.” Spencer explained.

“The FBI? Wow, you just got 10 times hotter.” she joked. She absentmindedly started rubbing her hand up and down his chest, and Spencer signed at the comforting feeling of it. “There’s so much about you that I want to learn about.”

“Me too.” Spencer agreed. “How is it being NYC’s biggest rock star?”

Y/n laughed. “I wouldn’t say the biggest. But performing is just what me and the band do at night sometimes. It’s what I’ve based my tiktok account around. But I’m actually a baker. I own a cafe near central park.”

This news shocked Spencer. He looked down at her in awe.

“A baker? And a rockstar? You’re living both lives.” he smiled.

“Some would say I have the best of both worlds,” Y/n laughed, proud of her joke but it flew right over Spencer’s head. “Ever heard of Hannah Montana?” She asked him with his puzzled expression.

“Is she your friend?” he asked.

“Never mind,” Y/n laughed. “You’re so cute. I’d really like to get to know you better. Virginia isn’t that far from New York.” She said shyly.

“I would love that.” Spencer agreed.

One of her band members knocked on the dressing room door and informed Y/n that the bar would be closing soon and they should head out.

The pair finally detangled themselves from each other, pulling their clothing on and sharing small shy smiles as they cleaned up. Spencer helped her fold and pack her alternate outfits into her suitcase while she threw all her makeup into her carrying case. They walked out hand in hand back into the bar, where Spencer was surprised to see his friends still hanging around. They let out hoots and hollers as they caught sight of Spencer holding Y/n’s hand. He blushed to his hairline at their innuendos. Even though they were correct, he didn’t want everyone else left in the bar to hear as well.

On their way through the bar they passed Y/n’s band, where she introduced him to the other 3 members. Turns out they all worked at her bakery, and have been friends since high school. Spencer wanted to get to know them better but his team was begging him to come over and introduce his ‘lady friend’ as Emily drunkenly yelled across the bar.

Spencer apologised to Y/n’s friends for his team's behaviour, but they laughed it off, clearly amused. He pulled Y/n along beside him as they made their way to the bar where they were sitting.

“Y/n, these are my friends and co-workers, Emily, JJ, Tara, and Luke. Everyone, this is Y/n.”

“You’re the girl from his tiktok!” JJ yelled.

“What?” a confused Spencer replied.

“Oh, come on. You don’t think we see don’t see you watching her videos all the time? The second I saw her walk on stage I knew why you suggested this place.” Emily laughed.

“Spencer has gotten in trouble at work before for having his phone out watching your tiktoks.” Tara explained.

Spencer sheepishly looked down at Y/n, biting his lip in hopes that she didn’t think he was too pathetic. But she just looked up at him with an adoring smile.

“You are so cute,” she said, and stood up on her toes to meet him in a kiss.

The team started yelling to get a room and faking being disgusted.

“We already did,” Spencer quipped.

Finally they were ushered out of the bar by the owner, who thanked them all for coming and congratulated Y/n and her band on a great performance.

The pair hung back as everyone started to walk ahead without them.

“We have a flight leaving in the morning, but if you wanted, you could come back to my hotel room with me?” Spencer nervously asked.

“I would love to.” Y/n said. Spencer placed his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side and they started to walk after the group in front of them.

He couldn’t believe his luck tonight. And even though he would be leaving Y/n in the morning, he had her phone number programmed into his phone now and he could call her whenever he wanted. And like she said, New York wasn’t that far away.

Thank you so much for reading!

#spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid smut #spencer reid/reader #spencer reid/fem reader #spencer reid fic #alleys writing

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sunsetsandsunshine · 2 months

Text

If me and my mutual’s were the Spider-gang…

❤️EMERY AS MILES MORALES🖤 @sunsetsandsunshine

Y’ALL ALREADY KNOOOOWWWW 💘💞💖💕💗💓

Artist of the group

My Dad is a police officer AND detective sooooooo…

He has done the “You gotta say I love you back” thing to me multiple times…

Fucking loves having friends and talking to people

COMIC BOOKS ARE LIFE‼️ COMIC BOOKS ARE LOVE‼️

Keeping the collectibles I N S I D E of the box!!! IT STAYS NICE AND FRESH THAT WAY— LIKE PRODUCE YK???!!!

Tries to be quote on quote “cooler” in front of others…

Newsflash? It never works

💝 Family lover all the way 💝

Music is LIFE 🎶🎤🎵🎼…idfk what we’d do without it…

A collector of many random things— rocks, toys, bracelets you NAME it

Hyperactive as HELL

Has a hard time accepting loss

“NAH” “🫠” “UHM…” “AAAAAAAAHHHHH”

A sketchbook for literally every season

When it comes to friendships, I will try everything in my power to maintain it and try to keep it going but once I’m done? I’m done 🫶🏾

A singer 😩🤚🏾

Physical affection 🫣💕💓

Apologies WAAAAAAY too fucking much

H A P P Y. S T I M S.

Suppressed anger issues

Knows way too many people both online and irl

Becomes a whole different person when angry 🥸👍🏾

Beatboxes and raps horribly

Basically Miles is me and I’m Miles ❤️🖤

🤍JOJO AS GWEN STACY🩵 @shut-up-jo

Cool af legit why the hell are you friends with me man—

Musician of the group 🪗🎷🎻🎺🎹🥁🎸

Shows up to your house without warning like you owe her money

In a band (most def)

Says the most DIABOLICAL and out of pocket shit known to MAN

🔥 Would burn down the kitchen if she ever cooked 🔥

Listens to Billy Joel 😌

POPULAR AF

Short af too 🤪🫶🏼

BAD PICK-UP LINES…

Would be cancelled if any of her texts got leaked

“DIE” “KYS” “CHOKE” “STFU”

Had the WORST 2020 phase (I’m sorry ilysm please don’t kill me 🙏🏼)

AOT lover (as you fucking should )

Honesty is the best policy 💋

Changes her voice depending on who she’s talking to

Has the most fucking unhinged and cursed FYP page

Doesn’t matter what social media app…it’s just straight up CURSED

Gives the best advice like oml

Could host a TED-talk but would there’s a 99.9% she would get cancelled

Needs to take a flipping BREAK 💕

Could make a TV show with her life (with like a million specials and crossovers)

Licks the powder off the Doritos and/or Taki’s and puts them back in the bag 😶…

Has burned Barbie’s before

Unironically sings 'Dance Monkey' just because

Your so so silly I love you so much 🤍🩵

💛SANA AS PAVITIR🩷 @itzsana-kiddingmenow

If sunshine were a person 🌞

Has a really toxic fanbase…

✨Anxiety✨

The best cook out of all 4 of us probably

“🥺” “GRRRRRRR” “🙈” “NAUUUR”

Calls people adorable, cute etc but can’t handle when people say that to her 🥹💓

Your adorable btw ☺️

When she’s mad she doesn’t cuss that much but most def just says big words

#TOXICFRIENDSGANG

Takes selfies like every single second 📱

Has Snapchat probably

Has listened to JoJo Siwa’s Karma WAAAAY too many times…

Would fold like a lawn chair if poked in the side 💕

FANGIRL

✨ Bilingual queen ✨

Sobbed for DAYS when MatPat dropped his departure video…

Is way too fucking smart 😉

Has the Ultimate Alpha Sigma Gyatt Rizz but doesn’t know it quite yet 👁️🫦👁️

A tea lover ☕️🍵

Would go to antique stores with people to just look at things and then end up buying the whole ass store

Does cartwheels for funsies

Overthinker ☹️

Could solo Bakugou and win

Is going to be a menace one she learns how to drive

Needs more sleep frfr

My lil sugar cream puff over here you guys 💛🩷

💙ZEEZIE AS HOBIE BROWN❤️ @ziipzeepzop-eez

101% effort in E V E R Y T H I N G

Side-eyes 🤨

Has more rizz than the whole Earth population combined

“FW” “THAT’S RACIST” “TWWINNNN” “YUUURR”

EMOJIS EMOJIS EMOJIS EMOJIS EMOJIS EMOJIS

Did I say emojis?

Comes up with the most cutest freaking nicknames for people 🥹💕🩷☹️💓✨

TAKE A BREAK 😡😡😡

Can most definitely win a dance battle against anyone but acts like she can’t

Dad jokes 🫶🏽

Uses finger guns unironically (through text and in person) 👉🏽👉🏽

Could make a diss-track about so many people 🫢…

Would have a million cats if she could

Probably had a Gacha Life phase

Would go to a movie theater just to watch cat videos on the big screen

Popular af 💕

Friends with legit everyone 🙏🏽

Would actually murder a man if they hurt one of her friends

Has watched Coraline and The Nightmare Before Christmas soooooo many damn times

Guillmero Del Toro’s Pinocchio made her ugly cry (Same here 🫠)

Could solo everyone here on Tumblr easily 👁️👄👁️

Hates Twitter/X but only has it for the ✨drama✨

FAIRY LIIIGHTS

Is most def someone’s opp ☺️

Can multi-task like crazy

So cool and dazzling and aahhhfhfhds 💙❤️

(If any of this makes any of you guys uncomfy just DM me and I can erase it 🫶🏾)

#Mootie patootie ♡#Zeezie ♡#Sana ♡#JoJo ♡#Emery’s rambles #IDK WHAT THIS IS #UH #YEAH…#JUST FOR FUNSIES #Making a pt.2 with some of my other moots with the rest of the spider gang ehehddnsne

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scoops-aboy86 · 3 days

Text

I think it was @steviewashere and @wheneverfeasible who tagged me on this get to know you meme? Or something. I can’t find it now but I’ve had the questions in my notepad app and worked on answering them today and yesterday, before and after surgery. I swear I can feel the incision scar burning through the splint right now, it sucks.

Anyway, completely not proofread writing at the end for the AU question answer so I’m just gonna tag my permanent tag list and go to sleep.

Favorite Color -> Blue

Last Song -> Good Luck, Babe! by Chappell Roan

Currently Reading -> Various fanfic, all Steddie of course

Currently Watching -> I just watched The Princess Diaries for the first time in years; the line “Wait for me! No not you, I don’t even know you” still makes me cackle

Currently Craving -> Nothing, my pain meds have killed my appetite, it’s obnoxious. But I did get a boba tea the night before my surgery just because I wouldn’t be allowed to have anything in the morning.

Coffee or Tea -> Tea. I can’t do coffee, it hits me just wrong enough that I end up vibrating at a frequency dogs can probably hear and I become an unsafe driver.

A hobby you would like to try -> I wouldn’t mind learning how to crochet (again, but actually retain it this time) or expand my knitting skills beyond scarves and square dishcloths.

An AU you're working on/thought of -> i reread my post from the other… week? (Time is an illusion and I’m on gd drugs.) And I want to clarify that I was envisioning Steve as still in high school, Eddie as a high school band director. Because I don’t think I was super explicit about that. And maybe Eddie is in his mid twenties, not early.

Chrissy is in the color guard, because it’s cheerleader adjacent, but so is Nancy because she gets to toss sabres and (wooden) rifles as well as flags. Tammy Thompson is one of the assistant drum majors but is not the best at following the drum major instead of conducting by ear, so there are some phasing problems (band gets off because the speed of sound lags, etc.). Fred is in the pit, on the xylophone and triangle and shit. Patrick plays the timpani. Gareth is in the battery on snare drum, not section leader but that’s a lot of responsibility he’s not sure he wants anyway. Tommy plays saxophone. If Argyle is there he’s in the tuba/sousaphone section, no question.

And like I said, Steve plays clarinet because it’s the easiest instrument to march with. He is the reluctant babysitter of all the freshmen playing third or fourth part with him: Will, Dustin, and Mike. Lucas is in the saxophone section, trying to be cool, but comes to Steve for help because Steve may be a sub-par musician but his marching technique is flawless. Max is on piccolo and will intentionally blast the high notes to fuck you up.

El plays oboe very competently in concert band but is having a hard time adjusting to mellophone on the field, scraping by with the help of her senior section leader, Kali; by the end of the season they’ve thoroughly bonded as brass sisters and get matching tattoos. It does cause problems because her dad is still police chief Hopper, who gives stern/frustrated lectures to Kali (paid for it), Steve (gives El and her stepbrother Will to rehearsals, along with the rest of the kids, so Hopper assumes he must have known; he didn’t), and Eddie (adult in charge of these hooligans, but sporting tattoos of his own, not really on display unless he rolls up his sleeves on hot days when the school AC is on the fritz).

Those lectures are somehow or another the closest anyone comes to figuring out that Steve and Eddie are together, causing both of them to panic. On Eddie this looks like trying to break it off before things blow up so Steve can have a normal life; Steve, on the other hand, doubles down hard on keeping the best and most loving relationship he’s ever had (absent parents, dating teens who only want him for his pretty face and reputation for being good in bed) and like. Wears lingerie to school under his clothes. Because you don’t have to deal with PE class and locker rooms during marching season!!

Steve is still captain of the basketball team because that’s in the spring and doesn’t overlap with marching season. Eddie comes to all of the games as a “show of school spirit,” and afterwards they meet somewhere in the woods for Eddie to either congratulate his boy on a win or console him after a loss. Sometimes Steve has to console him after too much stress eating from the student-run concession stand if it was a really close game though—sometimes in a not so sexy way before Eddie learns the hard way to steer clear of the loaded chili dogs, but even on those occasions Eddie is blearily impressed that someone so young can be so sweet and caring.

Most of the guys he dated prior to Steve were more interested in hooking up and/or playing rough without a lot of tenderness beyond basic aftercare, mislead by his wild hair and tattoos and the assumption that a school teacher wouldn’t want to be in an openly gay relationship. Which… okay, it’s not like he’d put leather daddy photos in his cramped little office off the band room but it is a modern AU, he can have a partner that he can casually mention in the teachers lounge without it being a big deal. But his dating profile never seemed to attract the kind of guys that would want that, he never did figure out how he was going wrong there—though to be fair, before Steve he’d kind of assumed that’s what he’d wanted too.

As far as kink goes, Eddie doesn’t take it too far with an actual high school student, for all that Steve isn’t jail bait. He introduces Steve to edging, both ways, and Steve loves it—cries so pretty when he begs, and on the flip side is relentless in getting Eddie to wait and wait and then come like a teenager over and over again. No bondage more extensive than creative use of a bandana or a tie or, on one memorable occasion, a seatbelt. Eddie is meticulous about teaching Steve all about consent, checking in regularly, the stoplight system, safe words, talking things out before and after, etc., figuring that if this is just a school year fling that at least he’s setting his sweet boy up for success in future relationships—though the idea makes him sad and his insides squirmy with jealousy. He’s not possessive exactly, but when he’s in that mood he gets extra attentive in a way that Steve seems to lap up like sweet cream.

They’re monogamous, although they both agree that Steve can’t just stop dating around without raising questions about who he is seeing. So Steve still goes out with girls sometimes, the ones that seem okay with setting low expectations for both intimacy and commitment. Dinner and a movie and maybe a little making out, because neither Steve nor Eddie are puritanical about kissing. There aren’t a lot of second dates and even fewer third dates, with only occasional fallout no matter how clear and upfront Steve is about not wanting anything serious. He always feels bad about those instances, needing lots of reassurance from his secret older boyfriend that he’s not the asshole some people think he is, that he did his best and going over the situation for things he could handle better next time. And sex, to reaffirm their own relationship behind the public facades.

The only reason Eddie hasn’t bought an engagement ring by spring is because he doesn’t want to be presumptuous, but he knows what kind of ring he would look for, what kind of things Steve would like if he did. He’s talked to his friends Jeff and Grant (Unnamed Freak) about Steve, because they have nothing to do with the school and know him well enough not to be concerned that he’s some sort of predator. Jeff, who’s settled down with a nice girl (his own age) and already started looking ahead to planning a family, is loud in his approval of Eddie’s shifting taste in men from casual hookups and one night stands to something more committed, even if it’s on the unconventional side. “You seem a lot happier, man. I think it’s good for you, in the long run, no matter how it shakes out.” At which Grant laughs and says, “Yeah, at the very least you’re healing your own teenage trauma of never being able to get a popular prettyboy jock like you wanted. You’re growing up, dude! And it’s less than a ten year age gap, that’s gonna feel like nothing once he’s outta college. No one’ll even bat an eye at it by then.” Which, Grant might be a little biased because his parents are nine years apart, but it makes Eddie grin. It’s nice to have supportive friends.

(He finds out years later that Gareth, the sophomore on snare and Grant’s cousin, also knew the entire time and was just really good at keeping secrets. Mixed feelings on that one. Partly because the reveal happens in a speech at his and Steve’s wedding and he nearly falls out of his chair in front of sixty people.)

Oh and the entire time they’ve been together Eddie has been slowly but steadily putting on weight because one of Steve’s hobbies is baking and he just generally is a decent cook because he’s a latchkey kid who got tired of fast food, frozen meals, and stuff made from a box. For a long time Eddie’s excuse for the weight gain (to the world at large and to some extent himself) is that he quit smoking when he got the school job because he didn’t want to encourage any of the kids to think it’s cool—not since his Uncle Wayne’s diagnosis of early stage lung cancer, which won’t take the stubborn bastard out soon but it’ll happen someday and rip Eddie’s heart right out. So yeah, he went cold turkey and straight to stress eating.

He’d be more self conscious about it if Steve hadn’t always been something approaching reverent when touching his love handles, even when they were still faint little rolls over the top of his jeans the first time they hooked up. The boy has this intent look in his eyes whenever Eddie eats something he made, lighting up like the sun at any sign that Eddie likes it. Feeds him little treats and beams whenever Eddie licks the crumbs from his fingers, so of course Eddie does it as often and with as much gusto as possible. It’s not like he eats unhealthily all the time, he does his daily fruits and veggies and reasonable portions… But he snacks, so sue him. And he never turns down Steve’s treats.

That’s all I’ve got for now! I’m really not writing this, I just enjoy rotating it in my head like a rotisserie chicken.

Tagging to read and answer these too if you want but no pressure: @hotluncheddie @lawrencebshoggoth @sofadofax @kissinvampires @oatmilk-vampire

@wheneverfeasible @hamiltonswiftie @grtwdsmwhr @yesdangerpls@theseaofdespair

#questions #scoops scoop #scoops words #chubby eddie munson #wg steddie

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forever-will-last · 3 months

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ForeverWillLast Fanfiction Links Masterpost

All ships are Cadina unless otherwise noted! Incomplete fics have word counts updated in this post at every 10k words. Chapter count updated with each chapter update. One shots under the cut!

Multichapter Fics

i wish i could still see the world through those eyes (aka Dead!Aaron AU) Multichapter Fics

don't look for me, i'm just a story you've been told

Rating: Mature Archive Warnings: Major Character Death Word Count: 16,900 (Complete) Chapters: 3/3 Summary: It’s the middle of November. Cady, Janis, and Damian are hard at work on their Revenge Party. It’s not really going well. They had a whole plan for Homecoming, but that blew up in their faces (and Regina’s face, but somehow, they just made her hotter?). They’re plotting their next move when they get the news. Aaron Samuels is dead.

a thousand pictures in my mind; in a painting of the past

Rating: Explicit Primary Ship: Regina George/Cady Heron Secondary Ship: Karen Shetty/Gretchen Wieners Word Count: 290,000+ (Incomplete) Chapters: 46/? Summary: So much can change in ten years, and yet, some things stay the same. Aaron Samuels is still dead, but Cady doesn't think about him nearly as much anymore. Regina George is back in her life, but instead of fear, there's something else, waiting just under the surface. In a way, it feels like hope. It's not simple, it never is, especially not for them, but there's no looking back now. Sequel to "don't look for me; i'm just a story you've been told".

Other Multichapter Fics

Welcome to the Psych Ward!

Masterpost of Chapter Ratings and Summaries Rating: Explicit Ship: Regina George/Cady Heron/Janis 'Imi'ike/Karen Shetty/Gretchen Wieners (and every possible duo and trio combination within it) Word Count: 80,000+ (Incomplete) Chapters: 23/? Summary: A collection of one-shots set in a college AU featuring the insane polycule of Regina/Cady/Janis/Karen/Gretchen aka The Psych Ward. Not all chapters are smut, but due to tagging limitations, only smut tags are tagged in Additional Tags. See chapter summaries for ratings, ships, and prompts! On hiatus!

one night with me and she's making vows (she's making vows)

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 100,000+ (Incomplete) Chapters: 5/? Summary: For Cadina Week 2024 Day 6: AU When Janis signed Cady up for that sugar baby app, she never expected it to work. She never expected it to lead to someone like Regina. or Porn with some plot sugar baby au!

i thought i was a fool for no one (but baby, i'm a fool for you)

Rating: Teen Primary Ship: Regina George/Cady Heron Secondary Ship: Betsy Heron/Sharon Norbury Word Count: 40,000+ (Incomplete) Chapters: 6/16 Summary: “Who are they?” Cady asks. “Those are the Drum Majors this year,” Damian begins, but Janis cuts him off. “No, they’re the Plastics. They always are and always will be the Plastics.” -or- marching band au! On brief hiatus!

One Shots

Mother's Day

Rating: Mature Primary Ship: Betsy Heron/Sharon Norbury Secondary Ship: Regina George/Cady Heron Word Count: 2,645 Summary: For Sheron Day 2024 “Come on, Reggie. It’s not going to be that bad.” “I just don’t understand how you’re okay with this.” “We graduated from high school three years ago. It’s not like she’s our teacher anymore.” “Easy for you to say. She actually likes you. She hates me!” “She doesn’t hate you, Reggie. She doesn’t hate anyone.” “Oh, come on. After everything I did in high school?” “I’m the one responsible for the police raiding her house, remember? She’s moved past it. You’ll see.” “Whatever you say, Cady. Let’s just get this over with.”

i wanna be the one you think about at night, and i wanna be the one that you would put up a fight for

Rating: Mature Word Count: 2,089 Summary: For Cadina Week 2024 Day 1: Jealousy While at a work event together, someone decides to try to hit on Cady. Regina doesn’t exactly take it well. (Set in the a thousand pictures/dead!Aaron/i wish au)

two hearts, electric and eager; one touch and i'm a believer

Rating: Explicit Primary Ship: Regina George/Cady Heron Secondary Ship: Janis 'Imi'ike/Karen Shetty Word Count: 2,363 Summary: For Cadina Week 2024 Day 2: College Cady’s not much of a partying type, but when her roommate drags her along to one, she captures the attention of a mysterious blonde.

she says i smell like safety and home

Rating: Mature Word Count: 2,439 Summary: For Cadina Week 2024 Day 3: Bed Sharing Regina’s back is acting up, and she needs some help from Cady. (Set in the Welcome to the Psych Ward! au)

i wasn't looking for love but she found me

Rating: Teen Word Count: 3,169 Summary: For Cadina Week 2024 Day 4: Fluff Regina’s got a special surprise for Cady. (Set in the a thousand pictures/dead!Aaron/i wish au)

see how the most dangerous thing is to love, how you will heal and you'll rise above

Rating: Mature Word Count: 10,408 Summary: For Cadina Week 2024 Day 5: Hurt/Comfort What if things went differently? What if Cady was doing a lot worse than everyone thought? What if? (A non-canon divergence from the a thousand pictures story that begins to diverge at the start of Chapter 14.) Check tags for trigger warnings before reading.

can a gay girl get an amen?

Rating: Teen Word Count: 2,750 Summary: For Cadina Week 2024 Day 7: Free Day Regina, Gretchen, and Karen take Cady to her first ever Pride. (set in the a thousand pictures/dead!Aaron/i wish universe)

#fic masterpost #mean girls fanfic #pinned post #my fics

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follivora · 1 month

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omg i have a lot of unpopular opinions in this fandom.

kind of like with the bojere anon, i really cant stand jance in a romantic context like so many fans obsess over. i think their friendship is really sweet, and when jan talked about their platonic intimacy in the post damon photoshoot interview i was very touched. not to say that i think people SHOULDN'T ship them, but so many people go overboard with the shipping. taking a small moment- like when they just look at each other during a concert-and making it some sign of true love/lust has made me uncomfortable since the jance truthers first got popular. let them be friends, and highlight the friendships jan and nace have with the other band members too!

i was also really surprised to find that no one loves omamljeno telo like i do. their best song, just because i think it has more of a traditional rock sound which contracts with a lot of their more indie stuff. she deserves more love, and i can definitely say its my favorite song by them by far.

i also dont think the tumblr community is as loving as some users emphasize, but its miles better than what ive seen going on on twitter. this is the fandom i lurk on the most, and thats saying something. theres a certain fic writer on this app that i have blocked tho, because theyre always starting fights and controversies. iykyk.

i completely get your jance feelings!!! even though i personally don't share your opinion that much i can still see how you may feel this way and you are definitely right that we should also appreciate their friendship with other people!!

okay i am the biggest omamljeno telo hater ever seajdfhajksdfjs i can't help with that

i mean.. yeah... like i think i am probably one of the most attacked people on here but at least i still don't get bullied on twitter daily to the point that police has to get involved, so can't really complain.. and also i am blocked by some people so it's never that sweet for me here

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meet-me-in-the-pouringrain · 1 year

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The Phoenix and The Rocket

Chapter 4

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Emily Prentiss, at the insistent of her therapist, signs up for a trauma bonding site. She never expected that her trauma bond would connect her back to her old boss and the man she’s been in love with for over ten years.

Also the man she’s absolutely furious at for leaving.

Edit : Since publishing I have been made aware that the term ‘Trauma Bonding’ is actually an abuse tactic and doesn’t mean ‘bonding over shared trauma’. Would like to make it clear that was a very strong mistake on my part and I apologise deeply for any offence.

Read Below the cut :)

Days fade into weeks and weeks turn into months.

They correspond on a bi-weekly basis now, as much as Emily's schedule allows them too. The morning after they officially became Buddies, Emily sends an apology message for her drunk rambles and gratitude at his response. Aaron responds in earnest, giving her thanks and dismissing her own, and life moved on. Emily pesters him with questions and he answers them with patience, no issue or frustration on his end. In return, he pokes around her evasiveness and manages to tear down the wall she hides behind, making her open up more than she ever has. To a complete stranger no less.

The last person who made her do that was Hotch, and she feels a pang of odd betrayal whenever she realises that, as if she's betraying him whenever Rocket knocks down a brick.

They really bond over the fact they had false identities forced on them. Aaron shares that it's hard to get out of the habit of Frank, that he has trouble decoding where Frank starts and He ends. Emily offers advice (She's been through it a number of times after all) and insight.

Emily helps him realise that Frank and Aaron can co-exist and they don't need to fight a war. She helps him see that the best parts of Frank are the best parts of him.

In return, he's there for when she has a tough case and advises her on how to take things day by day.

Before, she'd have a habit of ignoring it and putting it off until she physically couldn't and then she'll break.

He opens up about his father, She her mother.

She tells him about her guilty pleasure in Emo-Rock bands, He returns with his passion for 60s music.

Eventually, they're no longer dumping on each other and they’re exchanging food recipes and recommendations and just sometimes messaging each other when they've got nothing to do.

The pair of them feel better about their baggage than they have in years and it truly shows. Emily doesn't snap at Luke or Dave as much anymore, she even stopped overloading Reid's case file. Aaron isn't as argumentative about Jack/Max anymore and only slips up after days in public where he's been forced to call him by the wrong name.

As much as they hate to admit it, Jack and Emily's therapist were right and it did make them better people.

It's 4 months into this exchange that she caves and pays $30 (a criminal charge quite frankly) for the app so she didn't have to open her laptop on the Jet. The website has a policy of exchanging personal details like emails or numbers. Everything has to remain entirely anonymous and there's certain things that'll get them flagged and/or their entire accounts deleted.

Which means that they'd lose contact with each other and neither of them can afford to do that.

It doesn't stop her team of nosy ass profilers noticing her happiness though. As evident by the smirks on JJ and Luke's faces when her phone pings as they leave a crime scene in Utah and she immediately yanks it out of her back pocket.

"Ooo" Luke cooes. "Prentiss has a boyfriend" He sings, climbing into the drivers seat.

Emily scoffs at him like he's the most ridiculous thing she's ever faced as she yanks open the passenger door. JJ is forced to sit in the back when the police officer peels off in the cruiser without waiting for her. "What are you five?" She asks, rolling her eyes. She tilts away from Luke and Jj's wandering eyes as she unlocks her phone.

RocketRacoon : I just had an argument with my son. Peanut butter. Smooth or Crunchy?

RocketRacoon : It's make or break question.

RocketRacoon : Our entire Buddyship relies on this.

Emily couldn't help the snicker that escaped her at the seriousness.

PhoenixPren : Yikes I better think long and hard.

PhoenixPren : Who are we kidding, obviously smooth.

She didn't notice JJ move to stare daggers at her phone.

RocketRaccon : Thank you! Why would you want CRUNCH? IN PENUT BUTTER?

PhoenixPren : Only criminals and serial killers.

PhoenixPren : You spelt Peanut wrong btw

Aaron chortles loudly and unexpectedly at that response. He shakes his head, thinking to himself inside jokes that only he and his old friends would know. He lifts his eyes up and jumps back.

Jack is standing at the kitchen counter, broken arm having been upgraded from a sling to a pliable cast thats been signed with 'Max' over 15 times, with a knife in his hand and a bread smeared with peanut butter. He's staring at his dad with a mixture of confusion and terror.

"What?" Aaron asks defensively, twisting in his seat to just see the wall behind him.

Jack grins then, shaking his head like he knew something. "Nothing" He says coyly.

"What?!"

Jack shakes just head again, biting his sandwich. "It's just" He says behind a mouthful. "I haven't heard you laugh like that." His tone is quiet. "Ever."

Aaron considers his words thoughtfully. He supposed he's right, he hardly laughs anymore. He marvels at his Buddy's way of getting him to do that and comes to the shocking realisation that the only one who's ever made him chuckle like the way Phoenix does is her.

He swallows thickly at the thought before shaking his head and closing his laptop rather forcefully. He moves to help Jack pour a drink, pushing that thought out of his mind.

<~>

“Prentiss has a boyfriend” Luke sings again as they congregate around the conference table and it takes everything in her not to slap the shit out of him. JJ is typing on her phone, glancing up at times with a smirk on her face, and Tara’s phone pings coincidentally. Spencer is in the middle of plotting points on a map with Matt and Dave rolls his eyes.

“Get back to the case” Emily snaps, shoving his shoulder a little as she walks past him to stand at Reid’s map. “So this UNSUB. He takes woman from brightly lit areas, he’s confident. But not too confident to scare them of-“

“So who is he?” Dave interrupts, making Tara snort.

Emily blinks. “He’s an UNSUB, Dave” She replies slowly.

“You’re dating an UNSUB?”

Emily’s hand comes down on the oak of the table, leaving a sting on her hand and echo in the room. Matt actually jumps and spills coffee on himself, JJ’s phone clicks off and Spencer awkwardly turns away back to his map.

“Enough!” Emily barks, expertly hiding a wince at how much she’d hurt her hand. “I am not dating anybody” She hisses. “I am working a case and trying to save the life another another woman. Get back to work!”

“Yes ma’am” A few of them chorus, making her internally cringe. She hates how JJ’s teasing look falls into a professional mask, how Spencer flinches away from her, how Dave even bows his head with a mumbled apology.

She chews on her fingernail as she watched her team work in tense silence. Finally, the boys leave for field work and leave the girls in the room. Emily watches JJ and Tara shoot looks at her out of the corner of her eye for five minutes, both of them trying to discreetly text Penelope.

“If you MUST know” She breaks, yanking her phone out of her pocket and launching it on the table. Tara pulls back and is the one to scoop it up before JJ could lunge for it. She doesn’t attempt to unlock it though and gingerly holds it in her hand. “I signed up to that stupid trauma website.”

“What?” JJ asks, pulling a face. “Wha- that Trauma Buddies thing?”

She vaguely recalls Penelope talking about it to Spencer, saying that she explored it and her heart hurts for all those people.

Tara makes a noise, shoving Emily’s phone back to her. “Oh Em” She tuts, sympathetically.

Emily collapses into Matt’s abandoned chair and rubs at her face tiredly. “Don’t, it’s okay” She sighs. “I mainly went on there to see other stories, my therapist told me to do it.” She shrugs. “I saw this guy and his story is…” Emily huffs a breath with wide eyes. “A lot. So I reached out and we’ve been talking ever since.”

JJ and Tara share a look, a silent understanding of their friend.

Emily thinks about telling them Rocket’s story but immediately forgoes that idea. Telling them would feel like betraying him. Sure he put his story out on the internet for strangers to see but that doesn’t mean she can go ahead and tell some other people what’s his to tell.

No, she can’t betray Rocket like that.

“We get it” JJ says finally, smiling. “I’m glad that you have that.”

Sure, she’s a little jealous Emily turned to an internet stranger than her. But she’s also mature enough to know that a stranger over a phone screen is a lot less intimidating than someone sitting in front of you. She’s also aware that for the majority of Emily’s journey, she had been there for the traumatic moments.

Cyrus where she got hit in the head, That one case where she got into a car accident and hit her head, The other time she got hit in the head.

She’s been hit in the head a lot.

Then obviously Doyle

And finally, Losing Hotch. Not one, but maybe three times. When she ‘died’, When she came back but he had found solace in Beth and when he left.

Of course, they knew about her feelings for their ex boss. Ever since Penelope got her drunk on the green fairy and she blurted it out during a game of Fuck Marry Kill they were all way to old to be playing.

JJ’s not even sure Emily remembers that night, the amount she drank probably kept the run down bar afloat for a day or two alone. She’ll never bring it up in a million years because she knows her friend with just deny it vehemently. But she can’t deny the hurt or anger that flickers behind her eyes whenever someone mentions his name.

Emily smiles weakly. “Don’t tell the boys?” She pleads.

“Oh never in a million years” Tara chuckles, shaking her head. “I don’t think Dave will let you hear the end of it.”

<~>

“Is it a girl?”

Aaron startles in his bedroom, flinching forward. He turns to find Jack standing in the doorway looking awkward.

“I’m sorry?” He asks, frowning.

Jack fidgets with his belt and then his cast for a moment before sighing. “Your laughter before” He swallows. “was it because of a girl?” He asks quietly.

Since Beth, his father hadn’t dated anyone, not that he’s aware of. It’s strange, to Jack, the idea of his father actually dating somone. He supposes it’s only weird because it had been ten plus years since his mothers death, Beth was around for maybe half a year at most.

But still, it’s fuckin weird.

Aaron sighs, looking at him with a hooded gaze. He can’t lie to him. “Yes” He admits, wincing at the way Jack sucks in a breath. “But not in the way you think.” He amends quickly.

Jack pulls a face now. “Huh?”

“We’re not dating” Aaron launches into everything, how Phoenix messaged him after a couple of days after Jack signed him up. How they became buddies, How she helps him with the Frank dilemma, how they moved on and are now basically pen pals. He thinks about Phoenix’s story and ultimately decides against telling his son all that.

Jack’s been through enough, he doesn’t need to know a strangers plight either.

Besides, Phoenix still hasn’t made a public post and he’d be a liar if he said he wasn’t filled with sick, selfish satisfaction and pride at the fact he and only he had managed to get her to open up and that he was possibly the only person to know that’s much.

When he’s finished, Jack is grinning smugly. “Told you” He mumbles. Aaron just rolls his eyes. “That’s great dad.” His son grins. “What’s her username?”

“Don’t go looking for her” Aaron warns, glaring. Jack holds his good hand up with an eye roll.

“Relax” He says. “I haven’t opened the site since I dumped”.

Jack’s therapist got him to the website in the first place, that’s how he knew about it. Aaron eyes his son with suspicion before giving in.

“PhoenixPren” He admits finally. Jack pauses for a second, thinking over the name before smiling.

“Okay” He nods.

“Goodnight, Jack” Aaron states, playfully frustrated. “Busy day tomorrow. We gotta start packing up the house.” He tells him softly.

Jack grins. “I still can’t believe you agreed to move back to Alexandra” He says, making Aaron laugh and agree. He was still in shock he agreed himself. Jack yawns and moves to leave. Aaron pulls back the bedsheets to climb into bed. “Hey” He pauses, poking his head back in. “It wouldn’t be so bad, you know.”

Aaron peers at him, confused. “What wouldn’t?” He asks.

Jack shrugs. “You. Dating.” He says before disappearing without a reply. He shuts the door to his fathers room firmly and pads to his own.

Aaron blinks at the wood before a smirk broke out on his face and he chuckles to himself. He glances out of the window. “He gets that from you.” He states with a grin, his eyes following as the leaves in the trees rustle back at him.

On the other end of the hallway, Jack flops down in bed with a grin. “PhoenixPren” He says to himself. “Real subtle, Miss Emily.” He laughs to himself and flicks his lamp off.

Word Count : 2282

tag list : @lonelychicagos @84hotpockets @serqueljisbon @loriprentiss @velvetblackness @castielryan

if you would like to join or leave the taglist, feel free to shoot me a dm ❤️

#criminal minds #emily prentiss #aaron hotchner #hotchniss #agent hotchner #criminal minds fanfiction #hotch #agent prentiss #emily prentiss fanfiction #aaron hotchner fanfiction #hotchniss fanfiction #The Phoenix and The Rocket

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clockwrkcabaret · 8 months

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And They Prey On You

WARNING! This show is for adults. We drink cocktails, have potty mouths and, at least, one of us was raised by wolves.

The Clockwork Cabaret is a production of Agony Aunt Studios. Featuring that darling DJ Duo, Lady Attercop and Emmett Davenport. Our theme music is made especially for us by Kyle O’Door.

This episode aired on Mad Wasp Radio, 01.28.24.

New episodes air on Mad Wasp Radio on Sundays @ 12pm GMT! Listen at www.madwaspradio.com or via TuneIn radio app!

Playlist:

Django Reinhardt – Beyond the Sea (La Mer)

Janet Klein – Nasty Man

Madeleine Peyroux – Don’t Wait Too Long

THAT Damned Band – the Trash Dragon’s Sway

Kimya Dawson – My Rollercoaster

Sunny War – No Reason

Thee Hobo Gobbelins – Hall of Mirrors

The Brides – To Mr. James

That Handsome Devil – Viva Discordia

Punky Ruckus – The Pub Song

The Brat – Leave Me Alone

Fishbone – And They Prey on You

The Clash – I’m Not Down

Elvis Costello – Watching the Detectives

The B-52’s – Give Me Back My Man

XTC – Dear Madam Barnum

Devo – Working In A Coal Mine

The Police – Invisible Sun

The Divine Comedy – The Happy Goth

Bat For Lashes – The Big Sleep (Feat. Scott Walker)

Siouxsie & The Banshees – Spellbound

Boygenius – Black Hole

They Might Be Giants – Hate the Villanelle

Jonathan Coulton – I’m Your Moon

Seth Glier – The Next Right Thing

Big Thief – Vampire Empire

the Mountain Goats – Fresh Tattoo

Lykke Li – No Rest For the Wicked

Ezra Furman – Dressed In Black

Big Joanie – Confident Man

Check out this episode!

#alternative #Comedy #dark americana #folk #indie #Mad Wasp Radio #music #neo vintage #punk #Steampunk

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ashwithapen · 1 year

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poem #8

(this one is a long one and comes with a list of TWs, so the actual poem is below the cut. this one is also a lot more prose-poetry/slam poetry-esque than my other stuff :thumbsup:)

TW for school shootings, trans genocide/transphobia, abortion (mentioned), police brutality (mentioned), suicide (mentioned).

the thing about TikTok written 4 april 2023

y’know, i only opened this app because i saw a clip somewhere of one of my favourite bands. the singer made a joke in Scotland last night, and surely someone had to have posted a better-quality video on TikTok.

it was the first thing i saw when the app loaded, because they just know me so well. i watched it and saved it so that i can watch it again as a distraction or something later. but then i made the mistake of scrolling.

the next thing i saw was a 5-minute video about how people my age and younger were screaming for their lives just across the pond outside of government buildings. they are desperate not to be killed in their classrooms, desperate to live through this semester, desperate to be heard, but the suit-wearing rulers shuffled through their 1000-person sea, one foot at a time like it was dark and they couldn’t see the people my age and younger lining the walls, holding their signs, screaming for change. i watch it, and i have to keep scrolling.

some video about all the shit you can buy for just 8 USD from a gas station in Japan. i don’t watch the whole thing; i keep scrolling.

someone with a cool haircut is sitting on the floor of their bedroom, crying. the sound playing is saying something from a show i haven’t watched about a storybook fox who is sick and tired of living in a hole. they are crying, the tags say that they are trans, and they are crying. their bio says they are just 14, that’s three whole years younger than i am and something in me surges because that is my sibling whose name i don’t know and that i may never get to because the threat of genocide has them, 14, crying on their bedroom floor. not tonight, i think in silence. i do not want to cry tonight. and so i keep scrolling.

and the next video is an indie artist who didn’t exist a year and a half ago, but even so, their new single that when viral drops in a few nights so i follow their page and i hold my breath: should i scroll again? i do, i don’t learn.

and there’s a joke i don’t get with the loudest fucking noise i’ve ever heard. it makes no sense, i scroll again.

oh look, a 9-year-old girl who got shot when she went back to pull the fire alarm so her classmates would know to run. run. run. her face is the centrepiece, her smile from an earlier date something i need to learn to shake off by tonight. i can’t even imagine what being her might have been like. i scroll again.

a cover of a song, sung atop guitar chords; another joke that the comments don’t explain to me either; another reminder of the imposing genocide; abortion bans are being enforced; they’re using force against unarmed protesters again; a poem spoken to me by a person named Lee; more tour clips to distract me; some statistics about teen suicide rates rising in the States; and one of those checkpoints that tells you that it’s time for a break. stand up, stretch, get some water. the song playing low in the background is one i’ve heard maybe a hundred times by now, but i do as i’m instructed, and i take a deep breath.

my curtains are open and i can see through my window. i remember the song i started writing the other day about how people like me seldom live long enough to see their hair turn grey. i remember how i couldn’t finish it off because something salty and wet rubbed the ink off my page and i closed my book and i pretended that i wasn’t upset, like how, in an hour from now, when dinner is served hot in front of me and they ask me “how has your day been?” i will pretend my phone is not heavy in my pocket and that the kids' shouting isn’t plaguing me and that trans people aren’t losing their right to exist and be free and that a girl half my age wasn’t shot because she got unlucky one day.

and i regret opening TikTok every time that i do because i always fail to miss all those kids i heard dance on here. instead, i get singers on stages and artists who speak and kids who know how to barricade doors with desks and bookshelves and how to defend themselves with their trendy metal water bottles, and news about the latest legislation passed that ensures that more kids will be forcefully born into a cyclical mess where they don’t get to grow up without routine checks as to whether they can tell apart a juice box pop and a gunshot.

and there are not enough words to tell you all the things i have heard scrolling through TikTok, where the mothers are gentle with their children until they go to sleep, because then they take off their soft tones and don their broken voices, screaming out in hopes that their kids won’t have to.

it has to be a phenomenon: the ability you need to grow by my age if you want to use an app as unsuspecting as the sound of a clock, TikTok. if you cannot master empathy and apathy and the way in which you must be able to switch between one and the other at the littlest flick of your wrist because what’s funny one minute must always precede the latest tragedy, death giving way to a joke and a smirk from a pretty girl in a skirt whose page a month ago was all about ways you can help in Ukraine, but clearly, she has become a master of this miracle.

and at the end of it all, when it has been hours of hearing about Neo-nazis and the generalised patriarchy and the right or wrong ways to raise bread yeast, i think three things:

one: a simmering roll of “wow”. both my empathy and apathy have been expended, and now, i have nothing left to give.

two: i am never coming back here again, like a hotel where they promise a rest, a break, a chance to get away from your day-to-day stress. one star.

three: oh look, my band said something funny again, and god, i could use a distraction.

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medusasbush · 2 years

Text

read in february 2023

articles (ones behind a paywall are linked through webpage archive):

I'm Intersex. Here's How I Have Sex.

What Is a Nepotism Baby Anyway? (reminded me of the hollywood inbreeding 101 portion of Carrie FIsher's Wishful Drinking)

Your Stuff is Actually Worse Now: How the cult of consumerism ushered in an era of badly made products.

If You Think Tacos Aren't Healthy, We Have News for You

Deeper into Movies: What Have I Been Watching

How Dolly Parton became a secular American saint

Springtime for the Confederacy

Comedy movies rarely make it to theaters today. Here’s why.

A Short Guide to Living More Pointlessly

Another Side of Rupert Grint

What Is a Narcissist?

Videos of Police Brutality Against Black People Are a Futile Spectacle in White America

Trump proposes genocidal national ban on transgender existence if he wins 2024

The super-kinkeepers (& kinkeeping matrix)

The soothing, slightly sinister world of productivity hacks

We're Already Living in the Metaverse

Doc Filmmakers Reckon with the Industry's Murky Ethics

The Band That Best Captures the Sound of the ’70s

The Number One's: Blondie's Rapture

Meat Loaf Owned the Power Ballad

Dating apps have created a culture of entitlement

America's Dangerous Obsession with Innocence

The War on Bollywood

Restoring the Sex and Rage to Jane Austen

Modern Porn Education Is Totally Unprepared for Modern Porn

Parents Need to Talk to Their Kids About Porn

The Porn Crisis That Isn't

Why Porn Has Gotten So Rough

Memoria and the Limitations of Ebert’s Empathy Machine

Is it Possible for a Fanboy to Be a Good Critic?

The people weeding out first dates with a questionnaire

The Anxious Style of American Parenting

Big commitments loosely held

The Junkification of Amazon

The Relentlessness of Modern Parenting

From Tokyo to Paris, Parents Tell Americans to Chill

I guess this turned into a love letter

'Lord' of racism?

The Man Behind the Myth: Should We Question the Hero’s Journey?

AMC is about to make paying for theater seats more like booking an airline ticket

The mounting, undeniable Me Too backlash

Lucky girl syndrome and the endless rebranding of “The Secret”

Stuck in 2020, pretending it’s 2014

No Sex for You: Life in the metaverse will be tacky, prudish, and dull

Sarah's Day in the Life

The Last of Us: Perspectives from an epidemiologist and a plant scientist

Marriage Is Not a Replacement For the Social Safety Net

Gwen Stefani, Ariana Grande, Madonna: The Holy Trinity of Famous Italian American Culture Vultures

How Christopher Columbus Became an Italian-American Icon

Everyone Is Grotesque and No One Is Turned On

Madonna's Face is Not Subversive

The NYT Op-Ed I Just Took A Kill Fee For.

The Whale does all but "giving a voice" to fat people

I Tried Jane Fonda’s ‘80s Workout Tapes To See How They Hold Up.

De-Influencing De-Influencing

TikTok’s De-Influencers Tell You What Not to Buy

The Curious Tale of the Midsize Queen

The Tragedy of Woke Shakespeare

books

the names up on the harp: irish myth and legend by P.J. Lynch, Marie Heaney (reread)

bitten: dark erotic stories by susie bright (started)

#s #read lists #articles #did not achieve the goal of reading more books in february whoops oh well life goes on

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captain-sassy-socks · 2 years

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The Greatest Night of the Jazz Age

Last Sunday, @ginges-stuff and I attended the matinee of the show. It was a fantastic experience.

The venue is built as a 1930s New York nightclub and offers an authentic atmosphere. There are three stages (one with the band next to the entrance, one in the middle and one behind the bar at the back of the room), several round tables on the floor and additional seating at a little higher pedestal on two sides. We sat at a table with high chairs at the side and had a great view from there.

The show started at 1 pm with Miss Belle Livingstone (Suanne Braun) welcoming everyone and promising the greatest night of jazz, ever. She wore a red dress that flattered her figure and gave the impression of a woman who knows the ins and outs of running a speakeasy. Always a saucy quip on her lips, she worked the room and made sure everyone was having a good time.

Belle and Valaida (the resident singer) took turns exciting the audience with their amazing voices. They were accompanied by four dancers (the spirits) and a fabulous band. Through music, song, and dancing, we learned the story of Belle’s life, her past, her hopes and dreams.

Besides the main attraction, there was another show that was hidden from the obvious eye: the choreography of the waiters and waitresses. Well attuned, they ensured everyone got their drinks and their food in the allotted time windows. However, serving drinks didn't always work out the way it should have. Drinks could be ordered with your phone scanning a barcode that included your table number. Somehow the app changed the table number or used a default because several times, we were asked if we had ordered the cocktail/champagne/wine. If we had been any lesser human beings, we would have said “yes” and gotten free drinks which someone else had paid for.

The three-course-menu was excellent and delicious.

At one point when @ginges-stuff and I were talking about the upcoming Fedcon event and fangirling over Amanda (as usual), Miss Belle came up to us and asked us if we had a good time. We were so surprised by her sudden presence that we could only affirm with a simple, “Yes, we have a great time.” Then, she winked at us and was gone again. And we missed the opportunity to say something funny. The entire day, one quick-witted sentence was stuck in my head, “Miss Belle, you are looking stunning, as stunning as an Egyptian goddess.” I missed my chance, which in retrospect is probably for the best.

At the end of the show, tension built up once again when the police raided the place and caught Miss Belle with a bottle of alcohol. But she didn't stay in prison long, because there was a party to celebrate.

The three hours flew by, and we left the place with a feeling of “Yes, indeed, we had the Greatest Night of the Jazz Age.”

If you have a chance to catch a show with Suanne, do it. The experience is well worth your time and your money.

#the greatest night of the jazz age #Suanne Braun #ginges-stuff #we had so much fun

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musicarenagh · 1 month

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Exploring the Emotional Depth of Alan Dreezer's Latest Hit Eastbourne, East Sussex native and award-winning electro-pop singer-songwriter Alan Dreezer has once again enticed his fans with a new song, “(Love Didn’t Hurt Me) IT WAS YOU,” which was released on August 16, 2024 and precedes the third album titled *NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES* to be released in the summer of the following year 2025. From the emotionally charged lyricism to the cinematic sound design, Alan skillfully weaves pop with hints of R&B and Soul with influences from George Michael. Dreezer began his music journey in 2017 with the *LONDON E12* album and has never ceased to come up with unique ideas from then on. His most recent released song, featuring interesting vocals and fantastic lyrics is a pure work of his talent, created together with Elliot Richardson who is also well-known as his mate and co-author. This interview allows us to discuss with Alan more about his creative approach, his new material, and what he has in store for the audience in the new album. Let’s get deep into the mind of an artist who is still making waves on the electro-pop scene. Listen to (Love Didn't Hurt Me) IT WAS YOU https://open.spotify.com/track/37DVKeLioNLs01QyObt5IQ?si=023754c3c0e84879 Follow Alan Dreezer on Twitter Spotify Soundcloud Bandcamp Youtube Instagram What is your stage name? Alan Dreezer Where do you find inspiration? Many things inspire me but usually it is a single word or phase seen in a book, magazine or online that sparks an idea. I then usually ask myself “What does that word or phrase mean to me?” and then start to jot down stuff in my notes app. What was the role of music in the early years of your life? I was always into music from a young age but never really thought about performing until my best friend suggested starting a band when we were 18. We were awful for the first few years but by the age of 25 we had a management deal and had toured with some top bands which was really exciting. Are you from a musical or artistic family? None of my family are musical at all but they are all very supportive of my journey. I honestly don’t think I would have ever become a songwriter if it wasn’t for my best friend Russell Aylett. He brought out something in me that I wasn’t looking for or knew was there and I am forever grateful for that. Who inspired you to be a part of the music industry? Listening to George Michael sing “A Different Corner” inspired me to try and write songs more seriously. The song was so well crafted and beautifully performed with such raw emotion that it made me want to try and dig deeper into myself and work harder at my craft. How did you learn to sing/write/to play? I am a lyricist, melodist and vocalist but I’m not a great musician as such so I rely on collaboration to enhance my ideas. I have collaborated with Elliot Richardson my producer for 13 years and he is a big part of all aspects of my music. What was the first concert that you ever went to and who did you see perform? It was The Police at Milton Keynes Bowl in 1980. It rained the whole day so it was like a mud bath but the concert was incredible. How would you describe your music? I would say it’s Pop with tinges of RnB & Soul too. However I do think it is very difficult to define exactly what genre you are as I have taken inspiration from so many different types of music over the years. [caption id="attachment_56701" align="alignnone" width="2000"] However I do think it is very difficult to define exactly what genre you are as I have taken inspiration from so many different types of music over the years.[/caption] Describe your creative process. I always start with a lyric because I have to have something to say first of all. Then I find a melody/top line that fits the mood just by humming it to myself. Over a few days sometimes weeks if the melody keeps coming back to me then I pursue it and record it with a drum loop or click track. I then take

that to the studio along with some musical references that I feel suit the vibe and we build from that framework into a song. How has your style evolved since the beginning of your career? As a solo artist my first album was very much influenced by 80’s music and retro pop. My second album took more inspiration from people like Justin Timberlake and early 2000’s music. With this 3rd project I’m leaning more into things like disco and classic soul music much more so it’s constantly changing and evolving. Who do you see as your main competitor? I don’t see music as a competitive thing. I firmly believe everyone should “JUST DO YOU!” and if people gravitate to what you’re doing then great! I also believe everyone should support each other and try and help each other grow. I have mentored a number of younger artists starting out in the business and it’s something I’m really proud of and get a lot from. What are your interests outside of music? I’m a huge film buff and also enjoy watching most sports. I enjoy hiking too as a live near The South Downs and I play tennis from time to time. If it wasn't a music career, what would you be doing? I was a retail store manager in my early years and would probably go back to that if I had to. What is the biggest problem you have encountered in the journey of music? If I’m being transparent I have encountered ageism as a solo artist. I started this part of my journey in my late 40’s after being in bands for years and there have been a few snubs when age has been mentioned. Naively I thought the quality of the music should outweigh things like that but some radio/promoters/managers seem more comfortable selling a twenty something artist in my experience? https://open.spotify.com/artist/7wUPEi8IzA5uUvVhAWVL7o?si=64otaPNQToW9MdfnB5FG4A&nd=1&dlsi=0687c1f3bb6e427a If you could change one thing in the music industry, what would it be? The percentage of streaming royalty payments paid to artists are scandalous. Music has been devalued massively in recent years in my opinion. Why did you choose this as the title of this project? The title of my 3rd album is going to be called “NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES” and we have been using that quote as motivation in all aspects of our process to get out of our comfort zones and try things that we haven’t tried before and it’s been really liberating! What are your plans for the coming months? To promote this new single and then continue work on the 3rd album which should be ready in the summer of 2025. Do you have any artistic collaboration plans? I’m in talks with a couple of other artists at the moment but there is nothing concrete just yet. What message would you like to give to your fans? Thank you for your continued support and I promise this 3rd album is worth waiting for!

#Interviews #LoveDidntHurtMeITWASYOU #LoveDidntHurtMeITWASYOUAlanDreezer #LoveDidntHurtMeITWASYOUbyAlanDreezer #LoveDidntHurtMeITWASYOUfromAlanDreezer #AlanDreezer #AlanDreezerLoveDidntHurtMeITWASYOU #AlanDreezerdropsLoveDidntHurtMeITWASYOU #AlanDreezeroutwithLoveDidntHurtMeITWASYOU #AlanDreezerreleasesLoveDidntHurtMeITWASYOU #AlanDreezerwithLoveDidntHurtMeITWASYOU

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myforrest2 · 1 month

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Comedy ideas

Slave robots

Price to let me fuck your wife

Dating dos and don’t and questions

Pro-nouns- trans

Crying over your favorite vagina

Women are expensive

Date when I have leverage

Tik tok physically abusive ps

black women giving u add

grieving and gettin pussy

nobody takes light skinned niggas seriously

i hate beige niggas with good hair

the short dude of the beiges

living a lie

gotta know how to fight

i'm over qualified to date

AA meeting

so much so i became a social worker

coworker said i dated white women

waist bead killa

ask your homegirl about the last nigga that scammed her

progressive women

Dating

1. the apps (virgos, spelman women, big titty taurus

2. vasectomy before it was fashionable

3. kids have and want more

4. meeting (questions)

5. aids commercials during hulu and chill

6. dog in bed

7. stress and ED

8. being 19 and 40

9. learned all the words women use capacity

10. i got a dick but i got feelings 2

11. munch love myself too much

12. divorce how they really feel

13. dv abd blueface show

14. quantum leap

how many dicks would u suck to get your student loans forgiven

my friends have kids and i dont have stufent loans . latest flex

off and on the apps

only reason im tryin to date again is cuz i heard my upstairs neighbor having sex

dr umar shaking head whenever i swipe right on a white girl

Apache open mic

2friday comedy at 9

tuesday at 8

wednesday 9

Dark Humor. Button up, Buttercup

Hershel Walker hit his wife using his hands.

Raphael Warnock hit his wife with the car and ran over her foot.

Raphael currently has a 48% to 45% lead amongst polled college students in Georgia.

This does not surprise me because today's young students do not support employment using their hands.

emotionally unavailable BW

to women with low self esteem

but too shallow

in 2023 i am giving up emotionally unavailable black women

Waffle house reality show

football now like watching condom sex

africa sex with condom

bag of vaginas to make life easier

interview grandmas that fucked wilt chamberlain

i dare you to ask your granny if she fucked wilt.

moving to ghana off 30k

chlamydia the bv of stds

fucked 3 in one day

them/they pussy

trans vs cis

price of pussy

bag of pussy

quantum leap

tik tok

snow on the bluff

yoga nude

yoga teacher

RIP t-shirt with my dad air brushed

big scarr's funeral. shot a video

dated a bitch 2 abortions

bitch cried during sex

vasectomy . i am the plan b

abortions

trapeze

laughing skull gay niggas

autistic gay phase

trans men

trans women cut ur dick off

gay niggas walk like spike lee movies

booty os

roaches in atl

child support

harvey weinstein had sick dick

3some etiquite

better pussy

retarded brother

fought white boy in 6th grade

tyrone's brother

dating a virgo

being terrified on stage

played sax in the church band

black moms

kamala harris ending unemployment

my aunt was drooling on herself had diabetic dimensia

had maw maw shook

having to ask mom if i could spend the night

cousins house

women hate the truth kryptonite

low self esteem pussy

dad's heart attack/chest pains

fraternities

dj pauls arm

being a black vet is hard

prisoners get more respect

iraq was like work release abroad

people that watch who follows who

hamlin scam. i need more friends. loner

andrew gillum cau/morehouse grad

cuckold stories. police officer

switching genders

iggy azaela earned 307 k in 24 hours. if inwas a woman i'd never b broke

trans men going thru puberty

Critical race theory should have been called cool race theory

the truth/accountability is pussy kryptonite

walk thru meg/tory kelsey shot meg. who had more of the motive. women lie like dudes. Meg is OJ for Black women

men tell little lies. women tell BIG Lies

ask who is paying child support

how much

dude that made 7.50 and hour paying 1.49 a month

dude that killed his wife

CS a scam

happy wife happy life

i miss my work wife

memphis cops

picking a trauma

chlamydia

bacterial vaginosis for men

asian on asian crime

gook on gook crime

being a husband is like being a post op trans woman

cool race theory

happy wife happy life

Unfaithful movie

SK victims homeless Black women

plotting m*****

plantation game

harriet tubman 360 deals

who got better pussy? (ask women sitting next to each other)

autism

lazy white people

slavery a pretty cool concept

having a white slave in the army

whole skit on asians

y we hate canada y canada hates us

first nigga to die in a chicago winter

eastern and western borders

god b scammin trans people

levels to lgbt self hate

ye and cudi fuckin

dv jokes

got dad's pocket pussy bronzed

next to vet flag

bronze shoes

dad was a shooter

cps stories

fuckin kids' teachers

the trans people of black folks being light skinned

the brotha darkness show interviews with comics

fight haven wheelchair

vday wish i ckuld get somebody pregnant but cant

cjild support but wont pay for pussy

dfcs stories

pet store kid in kennel

broke up white family extended stay

teachers getting beat up by students

Ms. Ringo 7th grade science teacher

teacher killed by school principal

praying grandma

got more respect for the post op trans

uber beats

dabrat pregnant at 48 touch of downs

aint smelled a cig in years. vapes keeping the cancer to yourself

women get to be honest men cant

women live lies

i hate being light skimned. the kind that keeps me alivle

abortion. women fucked it up. covid amazon then war

deaf people doin stand up

aaron rodgers darkness retreat fancy solitary confinement

favorite vagina cry after i jack off

synthetic vagina

dd214 is out paper work

my skin is light but my comedy is dark

church revival

vasectomy like having a slorts car

michael jackson live vocals

domestic violence turns me on

alex murdaugh

xylazine addicts zombie drugs

medical studies

sou sou circle

it's cool to be retarded now

ol girl asked about student loans. should have asked if she would have sucked me off

joined the army cuz i was poor and had a cavity

how do u want to b murdered? true crime hoes

keith lee cholesteral

eating videos

molested by neighbors daughter

have u been molested?

coochie is an acquired taste like beer

reparations what would u b willing to trade?

part white so i look at black people how straights look at the pronoun gang

killing your kids

shamiya hall

cps ptsd

are men softer. evolution

rose party

first pussy i ate

work release abroad

kidnapped in mexico

conjoined twins

church

pull all the genders

molested

lt dan

dad no indoor plumbing

mom killed autistic son threw in lake

pussy on the block chain put the bitch on the block chain

me too made niggas do an audit of their sexual history

baby holocaust

keepin a bitch happy is stressful

crying on tiktok

chris rocks goal was to keep his daughter off the pole mine is to not see my daughter on reddit

grocery store the special alympics

no relationship no raw

slap fights

do people still get crabs?

alien pussy

gender trades

utah cabin murders

da brat's baby gonna have a touch of Downs

do synthetic coochies get stds

how big of a screen do u watch porn on

roe v wade

cant b gay if u axe throw. no limp wrists

if she's good at axe throwing, she will kill u

ms cleo brand tarot cards

retard beef . downs vs. Non verbal autistic kids

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTR7sWLfC/

black men got the early trans struggle . django scene cut dick off . we can relate

good blood pressure

levels to the gay

race play

#art

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