#Physically and Emotionally

[lilac-bella]

omfggggg i need him. i need to be like this with him rn. dear GOD. the way he talks in between the kisses, ohmyfuckinggooooood.

[bellarkeandclintashaandsuch]

Recently finished watching Dead Boy Detectives for the first time, and it was aaaamazing. I had seen a bunch of posts about it before I started watching, so I knew one of the characters is gay, but I didn't know which one. And so at first I thought it was Charles.

I think the primary reason is probably because, after watching Thai BL, I'm conditioned to see dangling earrings and think, that's a BL boy. So that's my bad. Need to get out of my BL bubble sometimes.

Exhibit #1:

Pretty earring = BL Boy (to me)

But also, Charles is always protecting Edwin.

Exhibit #2:

I know he's the "brawns" but still.

Charles is very touchy with Edwin. Which now I know Edwin is from a different time, so that explains why he doesn't feel free to be touchy with Charles or others. But that didn't stop my initial thoughts of Charles just wanting to always touch Edwin.

Exhibit #3

Edwin basically stays in place here, just pivoting a little, but Charles moves from outside of the box all the way over to be standing right in front of Edwin. Like right in front of him.

I believe Charles touched Edwin here first, before Edwin grabbed his arm.

Charles also likes to sit on the desk close to Edwin, on his side, facing him, all the easier to look at him.

Exhibit #4

He also brings up how Death would split them up, and then smiles when Edwin says he'll never let that happen. (Granted, Edwin's conviction here should've keyed me in on him being the one in love.)

Exhibit #5

Just the whole boxing scene with him dancing around his feelings Edwin and touching him.

Exhibit #6

(Also Edwin's reaction to Charles saying he doesn't like new things 😂 the way he scrunched his face. Like, that's not true. He'd love to try new things with you, Charles.)

This whole thing with touching Edwin's chest and then dancing away.

Some more touching, for good measure.

The way he said harder next time.

And also, just how close they stand to each other for no reason when no one else is around.

Exhibit #7

I also like how close Charles's hands get to Edwin's when they're swinging at his sides. So close! And then back again when the door bell rings. I know his hands are just swinging with movement, but they are swinging very close to Edwin.

What is the reason for standing so close???

[kingthunder]

Prompt for Geralt and Jaskier: “God I hate you” & “Prove it.” I know you’ll make a masterpiece (like all of your work)!!💜

Rience plays with him. Rience hits him. Rience lights a flame, and laughs, and laughs, and laughs, and all Jaskier can do is burn.

.

Jaskier isn’t quite the same afterwards. The non-essential parts of him have gone up in smoke and what’s left is this: he has found out in the most intimate way possible that when it’s time for hurting—when the very meat of him is black and charred and he can taste the smoke of his own fat on the back of his tongue—that even then he cannot redirect the hurt onto Geralt. He’ll take it all and fold it up inside him and keep Geralt safe, even though Geralt didn’t do the same for him.

He wants to be angry about it. He wants to scream his righteous fury to the skies. Hell, he’s been doing that for a year already, in every tavern that will let him through the door, insisting that he wants Geralt to burn, burn, burn for what he did to Jaskier’s heart.

Only he isn’t angry anymore. He’s burned enough for the both of them. He’s just tired and lonely and misses his friend and wonders, like pushing on a bruise, if Geralt misses him too.

He wants Geralt to miss him too.

.

Later, when everything has gone to hell and back and the dust has settled, Geralt comes to Jaskier’s room in Kaer Morhen.

“We can’t stay,” Geralt says. “I was trying to keep Ciri safe, but all I did was put everyone else in danger. I need to take her somewhere where she can be trained properly.”

Jaskier doesn’t know who Geralt means when he says “we.” It’s been weeks since they hugged through three inches of creaking leather and metal, and in that time he has yet to figure out if he’s still included in Geralt’s life or if the shapes they’ve been broken into don’t fit together anymore. He’ll love Geralt the same regardless, but he needs to guard his heart.

“I wish you the best,” Jaskier says, thrusting his hand out for Geralt to shake.

Brow furrowed, Geralt takes it. Then he turns Jaskier’s hand palm up and says, “What’s this?”

His thumb is running over the scars Rience left.

“It’s nothing,” Jaskier says.

“It’s something.”

So Jaskier tells him, because he could never really deny Geralt anything. His words are dispassionate, a simple recounting of events, but what he means is, I love you. What he means is, I’d do it again but please don’t make me. Describing the depths of his one-sided devotion, even in such dry terms, leaves him aching and raw, and by the end of it he can’t stop his chin from quivering.

He’s clenched his hand into a white-knuckled fist without realizing it. Slowly, Geralt unbends each finger. He presses a kiss to the middle of Jaskier’s palm and Jaskier’s nostrils flare with the effort of holding in a sob.

“Stop,” Jaskier says.

Geralt stops but doesn’t let go of Jaskier’s hand. He says, “Thank you for keeping Ciri safe.”

“Did a pretty shit job of that in the end, didn’t I?”

Jaskier’s chin is still quivering.

“I’ll never let anyone hurt you like that again,” Geralt says. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“How was I supposed to do that?” Jaskier says helplessly. “Oh hello Geralt, nice seeing you after all this time, I know you hate my guts right now, but by the way, someone tortured me for information about you, just thought you should know, cheers, mate.”

“I don’t hate your guts.”

“Yeah, well you did a pretty good impression of it.”

“I’m sorry. I’m not…good at feelings.”

“He’s sorry, he says. And no, you’re not. Good at feelings, that is—oh bloody hell.” 

Geralt has started kissing Jaskier’s fingertips one by one. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs between each one.

 “God, I hate you,” Jaskier says, whimpering. “You just do whatever you bloody want, don’t you?”

Geralt pauses and looks up at Jaskier, eyes troubled.

“Do you not want this?”

“I do,” Jaskier says. “Gods help me, I do, but I  won’t give myself away so cheaply again, witcher. You have to want it, too. You have to really want it, with every poorly articulated feeling in that whole gorgeous body of yours.”

Geralt’s voice is rough. “I do.”

Jaskier cups Geralt’s cheek with his scarred hand and says, “Prove it.”

Geralt kisses him. It’s everything Jaskier has ever wanted and it’s not—quite—enough.

“Prove it,” Jaskier says again, breathing hard, his forehead rocking against Geralt’s. “Prove it,” he whispers, drawing back a fraction as Geralt’s lips chase his.

“I’m trying.”

“Not like that.”

Geralt pulls back far enough to look at him. After a moment of silence, Geralt says, “Come with us. Me and Ciri and Yen. Come with us. Then you can let me prove it every day. I’m tired of missing you.”

Jaskier smiles and finally lets Geralt kiss him again. Melts into it and kisses him back, warm and soft. He feels seen. Wanted. The hurt deep inside him dislodges itself and he thinks, for the first time in a long time, that it's possible to be happy again.

“That’s a good start,” Jaskier says.

[insomnia-and-caffeine]

clinicals are starting again from tomorrow so if I vanish just assume that the terror fully consumed me, mind, body, and spirit. I know I’ll be fine. I’m confident that I won’t fail. I did pretty decently last time. But bro I can’t even find the words to describe the fear in my heart.

Also 80 hours of unpaid work sounds pretty Not Great. To remind myself that all things pass I’ll add to this post over the next two weeks and hopefully look back on it next time pracs roll around and feel some type of hope knowing I survived (🤞)

[visual-explorxtion]

If supergiant games ever make a dating sim, is over for us bisexuals

[xalatariel]

put him (jin xiaobao). thru the blender

[rosetta-j-stone]

...anyway do you think I can claim any of this counts as preparation for tomorrow's Slovenian class? X D

[paleflesh1]

i dont evn have to date him he, he doesnt have to love me, honestly i dont know if i love him, i just wnt to be close to him

[dumvixerum]

I didn't even know stress could fuck up someone like that 💀

How tf am I supposed to explain this shit to a therapist 😭

[fandomscraziness22]

1x08

7x05

the bright sessions parallels and callbacks 21/?

[holysugu]

tw - blood, biting, scratching, angst, mention of death, the reader is hurt and angry, but also still very much in love. woo !!

imagine seeing geto again for the first time after he left jujutsu tech.

the anger and resentment. the raw ache.

you curl your lip at him, snarling like a rabid dog as tears fill your eyes, mouth opening to gasp out “why?”

the why being an all-encompassing term.

Why did you leave?

Why did you do what you did?

Why are you standing here now?

He’d hold you as you thrash. Scream after scream. Wail after wail. He’d hold you. It didn’t matter if you pulled at his hair or scratched deep red marks into his arms and neck that burned blood into his skin.

He’d take all the anger you’d throw at him with grace, with love. He’ll soothe as if you were a frightened animal, blind sided by pure survival instinct. To claw, to bite, to dig into flesh until blood pools.

An animal can only do so much howling, until it’s vocal cords are fried and their only left shaking in the predators maw. You clutch his robes for stability, dried blood cracking under your fingernails.

The smell of familiarity hangs heavy in your nose and mouth. You huff in mouthfuls, hungry for comfort instead of bloodshed. You press your face into his chest, nuzzling into the fabric there as you try and listen for a heartbeat, besides the one ringing in your ears.

He leans down, nosing your hairline. You feel him breathe in deeply, his exhale tickling your eyelashes and the fuzz on your cheeks. He presses a hand to your nape, squeezing the skin there gently. Your eyes close.

You find yourself hoping he kills you.

[gl1tched-g0th]

Welly Boots by The Amazing Devil the song that you are.

[theguardianace]

I’m so tired :(

[hythlodaes]

i just realized the injuries emile gets from the final steps of faith have barely had the time to heal before he hangs out with leofard. i’m fine………

[noireasy]

I feel the worst I’ve felt in recent memory

[velvur]