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samwellwinchesterthebrave · 7 days ago

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BuckTommy Fluffebruary day 20: Baby Fever

This is day 20 of the challenges by @bucktommyfluffebruary and it was actually hard for me to start. But once I got writing, a lot came out hehe

Safe Place

Read on ao3

Rating G / Words 3389

“Hey, Tommy, can we talk?”

An atavistic terror went through him when he heard those words in Evan's voice. The last time he'd heard those words in that serious tone, Tommy had made the biggest mistake of his life and tried to walk away from Evan. Had succeeded, too. For a time. Now, seven months into their marriage, he had to remind himself that he was committed now. Whatever it was, they would figure it out together.

“Sure,” Tommy finally said slowly when the silence stretched a few moments too long. “What's up?”

“Okay, so, this is gonna be weird and possibly a lot,” Evan started, huffing out a breath. But there was a tenor of - excitement? - under it. “But you know how firehouses are safe drop places for babies?”

“Yes?” Tommy replied, part of him starting to put the pieces together. Especially as they'd started talking about possibly adopting or finding a surrogate in the near future.

“Well, funny thing, when Ravi went outside to make a phone call, he found a stroller with a pair of twin girls inside,” Evan explained, speaking quickly. In the background, Tommy could hear crying. It was moving closer. “They can't be older than a few weeks. There was a note with them. The mother couldn't handle them anymore and wanted to give them a better life. She didn't leave her name or name the girls. She just signed the letter Mom.”

“Okay, sure,” Tommy nodded though he knew Evan couldn't see him. Feeling like he needed to sit down for the next part, he groped behind him until he found the couch. “What exactly did you need to talk to me about?”

“Well,” Evan said, drawing the word out hesitantly.

But before he could continue, the crying suddenly got even louder. Tommy winced and held the phone away from his ear. The poor baby, he assumed, sounded angry. Also that she wanted to let the entire world know. Underneath the crying, he could hear a whuffling, sobbing noise that caught at his heart.

“Buck, for the love of God, please help,” Eddie's voice came over the phone. He sounded defeated and exhausted. “I've been walking her for twenty minutes and she hasn't stopped screaming.”

“Baby number 2 is very sad,” Chimney's voice broke in. “Not even the funny faces I use with Jee and Kevin are helping.”

“You gotta take them,” Eddie begged. “Please. You're the only one they stop crying for. Even Cap couldn't do anything and he finally had to hand her off to me. He's still on the phone trying to find placements for them.”

“Apparently, there's a lack of foster parents with space at the moment,” Chimney added, then made some silly noises that Tommy didn't even try to interpret. “See? Not even a pause in the tears!”

“Okay, okay, okay,” Evan replied. “Tommy, hang on a sec.”

There were some shuffling noises while Tommy sat and listened. He was pretty sure now exactly what Evan was going to ask. Part of him wanted to say no. No, they weren't ready for kids, they'd just started talking about them in the future. That part of him was terrified, gibbering in a corner of his mind.

Another part of his mind supplied him with memories of Evan with Jee, Evan with Christopher, the couple of calls they'd ended up on together where Evan had taken care of kids. He was a natural, warm and loving and affectionate. He would be a wonderful father. Suddenly, the image of Evan with their child in his arms filled his mind. He wanted that with an intensity that surprised him. Maybe this was a chance to have a trial run, as it were.

By the time Evan managed to start talking to him again, Tommy had made up his mind.

“You got it on speakerphone, Eddie?” Evan's voice came over the phone again, a little tinny. Eddie murmured an assent then Evan continued, “Okay, sorry about that Tommy. I've gotta be holding them or the waterworks start.”

“You sure you want me to overhear this?” Eddie cut in.

“It's fine,” Tommy said at the same time as Evan. They all chuckled. “So, Evan, you're going to ask me if they can be placed with us until they find another placement for them, right?”

“Uh,” Evan replied. Eddie chuckled again. “Yes. Yes I am. They're so tiny, Tommy, and they need somewhere safe. They like me. They have nowhere else to go.”

Before he could reply, his phone buzzed with an incoming text. Tommy switched the call to speakerphone. When he pulled up the text from Chimney, his heart stopped in his chest. Then it melted.

The text was an image. Evan was standing in the vehicle bay, Eddie at his shoulder. Eddie was holding Evan's phone up between them. But Evan. Oh. Evan was holding two little blanket-wrapped bundles. One was in a purple and white striped blanket and the other was in a green and yellow striped one. Tufts of dark brown hair poked up from the blankets. The baby in the green and yellow blanket had one pudgy fist up in the air. The baby in the purple and white blanket had her fist wrapped around one of Evan's fingers. He looked a little awkward holding them, his hands crossed over the bundles so that the one baby could hold his finger. But his face as he stared down at the two girls was so soft and tender and bright.

“Yeah,” Tommy said softly, feeling something lurch and settle into a new shape deep inside him. “We can take them.”

“Are you sure?” Evan asked just as softly. In the background, Tommy could hear Eddie murmur a fervent thank God. “Really sure?”

“Yeah,” Tommy nodded again. He took a final look at the picture then switched the phone off speakerphone. “I'm sure, baby. Take them home with you.”

It wasn't quite that simple but the decision had been made. After Bobby was informed that they were willing to take the girls in, he discussed it with the person he'd been arguing in circles with on the phone. She agreed to an emergency temporary placement. Evan was designated as the man left behind with Ravi to help. It left them a man down if a call came in but they would manage.

A few hours later, Tommy was exhaustedly happy that today was the first day of three days off work. Chimney had called Maddie after Evan had cornered him about what baby supplies they'd need. Chimney had passed him off to Maddie, they'd made a list together in a conference call with Tommy. Then, about an hour after the call ended, Tommy found himself with Maddie, Jee, and little Kevin at a baby store. Both he and Maddie were pushing a cart. Maddie had Kevin sitting in her cart while Jee walked with Tommy and held his hand.

“Uncle Tommy?” Jee asked, tugging on his hand as they passed a display with a collection of stuffed animals. “Do you think the babies want a stuffie?”

“Maybe,” Tommy said, staring at the display. “Why don't I send a picture to Uncle Buck and see if he thinks they do.”

Maddie hid a grin behind her hand as Jee jumped excitedly in place. Tommy took a picture of the display and sent it to Evan along with Jee's question. When Evan texted back Can't hurt :), Tommy smiled. Then he turned to Jee and gestured at the display.

“Why don't you pick out a stuffie for each of them?” Tommy asked. “I bet you will make great choices.”

Jee jumped again excitedly and Kevin waved his arms around. He barely missed punching Maddie on the cheek. Apparently used to the exuberance, Maddie swayed out of the way so his hand flew right past her. It took a couple minutes, and Maddie lifting Jee up so she could see the top of the display, before Jee decided on two stuffed animals. One was a green narwhal with a soft silver horn. The other was a purple dragon with a snakelike body.

“I love them,” Tommy said when Jee presented them for his inspection. “Thank you, great job.”

She dumped the stuffed animals in Tommy’s cart, hugged him, then skipped up to Maddie as Maddie started walking again. By the time they were finished, the two shopping carts were full. Tommy goggled a bit at the price for everything. But, better to have too much and not need it than to need something and not have it.

He was so distracted by the total and paying for everything that he missed the considering look Maddie shot him.

~*~*~*~

By the time Evan got home that first night, using the carseats Maddie had dropped off at the firehouse, Tommy and Madde had set up enough in the spare bedroom that the twins had somewhere to sleep. As soon as Evan texted him he was on his way, Tommy made up two bottles of formula for the babies, following the directions on the packaging. One thing he knew about babies was they ate a lot.

“I love you,” Evan muttered when he walked in the door, a baby carrier in each hand. His tired eyes were locked on the bottles Tommy was holding. “They're gonna be hungry again in about...”

There was a small snuffling sound followed by a hiccup. Then soft crying sounds came from one of the carriers. Garbled noises came from the other. The noises rapidly escalated into wails.

“Now,” Evan sighed. He set the carriers down and started unbuckling the babies. “Looks like this little one picked up the screaming from her sister. Here, can you see if she'll take a bottle from you?”

Evan carefully handed over one of the babies after Tommy set down the bottles. A distant part of Tommy's mind noted that it was the baby wrapped in the green and yellow blanket. The larger part of his mind was panicking at having a tiny life in his hands. But Evan arranged his arms so he was cradling the baby then handed him the bottle. As soon as Tommy angled the bottle towards her mouth, the baby stopped wailing and latched onto it. One hand scrabbled at the side of the bottle then wrapped over his finger.

“There you go,” Evan said, smiling at Tommy and the baby with such fondness that Tommy's heart flip flopped. “She likes you. That's good. Maybe I'll get a break from soothing them every once in a while.”

While Evan picked up the other baby and grabbed the bottle, Tommy slowly drifted over to the couch. He sat as slowly and carefully as if he held a live grenade. But the baby didn't seem to notice the motion. Instead, her eyes gazed blearily at his face before slowly closing. A flicker of motion caught Tommy's eye and he glanced sideways to see Evan sitting next to him on the couch with his own bundle. She was drinking just as thirstily from her own bottle. A silence that felt weighted and golden filled the room while the girls drank their bottles.

That night, their routine was completely different. They settled the girls into the cribs Maddie and Tommy had spent far too long puzzling out how to put together. They both seemed happy to sleep after their bottles and about ten minutes of both Evan and Tommy walking them in a circuit around the living room and the kitchen. Tommy turned the baby monitor on and grabbed the receiving end, carrying it into their bedroom. There, he found Evan flopped facedown on their bed.

“Thanks again for agreeing,” Evan mumbled as Tommy sat next to him and rubbed a hand down his spine. He waved one hand in an expansive gesture. “And I'm sorry for springing this on you. Have I told you recently how much I love you?”

“You have,” Tommy hummed, leaning down to press a kiss to the back of Evan's head. “I don't mind hearing it again. I love you, too. As for it being sudden, we'll figure it out, right? It's just until there's a foster family for them.”

“Yeah,” Evan replied after a long moment. “Yeah.”

He didn't sound all that thrilled at the idea. If he were being honest with himself, neither did Tommy. Now that they were here, sleeping in their cribs in the spare bedroom, part of Tommy didn't want to let them go. But he didn't voice that. It was too much, too quick.

They fell asleep wrapped around each other. Though both slept lightly, one ear trained on the baby monitor. They were woken twice during the night. First Evan went to feed and soothe the babies. Then it was Tommy’s turn. They weren't hungry but needed their diapers changed. After, he hummed a song that he dimly remembered his mother singing to him as a child. The babies seemed to like it too. At least, they fell back to sleep quickly.

The next morning, both Evan and Tommy worked it out with their captains to take vacation time until this situation was resolved. Bobby was understanding and wished them both well. Tommy’s captain was confused but allowed the time off. It wasn't like Tommy didn't have enough days banked.

They fell into a new routine over the next few days. It was shaky at times and both lost their tempers more than once. But still, it started feeling more and more right, having the two girls here. By the end of the third day, they were smiling more than they were arguing.

Besides, the sight of Evan holding one or both of the girls was imprinting itself on his heart every time Tommy saw it.

He didn't know that Evan was doing the same thing every time he saw Tommy holding them.

As they found their way to bed at the end of the fourth day, Evan curled into Tommy’s side and took his hand. He played with Tommy’s fingers, his eyes distant. Tommy waited, knowing that look in his husband's eyes well. Evan had something on his mind that he wanted to talk about. It might take a bit but Tommy knew Evan would talk to him about whatever it was.

“I was thinking about names,” Evan finally said. He ran his finger over the back of Tommy's index finger and across the back of his hand. “For the girls. It doesn't feel right, just calling them girl or the baby or something.”

“You want to name them?” Tommy asked.

A little thrill fluttered in his belly at the thought. Giving their girls names. Well, their girls for now. Until a placement was found. But more and more, he was finding he didn't want to let them go.

“I was thinking about it,” Evan said hesitantly, not meeting Tommy’s eyes as he continued tracing his fingers. “Part of me wants to name them right now. But part of me thinks it'll be that much harder to let them go if we name them.”

“What if we didn't?” Tommy asked, his mouth moving without conscious input.

Evan froze, his fingertip just touching the back of Tommy's hand. Then he shot up, balancing on one elbow to stare down at Tommy. There was an intense glitter in his eyes. The finger touching Tommy's hand started to shake.

“Didn't name them?” Evan asked. Though the expression he wore told Tommy he didn't believe that's what Tommy meant.

Tommy took a deep breath and sat up. This wasn't a conversation he wanted to have lying down. He took Evan's hand, holding it gently between both of his. It still trembled and Tommy could see those trembles starting to overtake his whole body. Well, Tommy sympathized. His insides felt like they were dancing a jig.

But this felt right. Inevitable. Ever since he saw the picture Chimney had texted him.

“Evan, I know this was only meant to be temporary,” Tommy said. He tightened his hands over Evan's hand when it trembled harder. “But I love them. I don't want to let them go. I want to have a family, this family, with you. If you want it too.”

“If I want it too?” Evan echoed, his voice breathless. Then he laughed and shook his head. “Tommy, I've spent the last two days trying to convince myself to let them go when the time comes. Seeing you hold them... I want this, so much. All of us. Together.”

They stared at each other for a moment, the enormity of what they both wanted crashing over them. Then they surged together, wrapping their arms around each other and kissing desperately. It was release, relief, joy, and a kind of manic exaltation. They continued to kiss until they were breathless, hugging each other tight.

When they finally broke the kiss, Evan leaned his forehead against Tommy's. They breathed quietly, breaths feathering over their lips. Neither was shaking now. Instead, their hands were steady as Evan stroked down Tommy's arm to tangle their fingers together again.

“So, we're going to keep them,” Evan said, wonder filling his words. “We really should name the girls, then.”

“What did you have in mind?” Tommy asked as names started tumbling in the back of his mind.

“I kind of want to name one of them Danielle,” Evan replied after a short pause. He looked a little sheepish but also determined. “After Daniel. It... it feels... right? And I definitely don't want to name one of them after my mom.”

“Of course. Danielle it is,” Tommy squeezed Evan's hand and stole a quick kiss. Evan had shared the story about his older brother not long after they got back together again. “What about a middle name? Do you want to name her after Maddie?”

“Hmmm, no, I don't think I do,” Evan shook his head. “Don't get me wrong, I love Maddie, but I think one sibling is enough. So maybe... hmmm.”

Tommy was quiet as Evan thought, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles. He was content to wait, wanting to hear the possibilities Evan would come up with. This was their second momentous decision, after deciding to keep the girls. There was no need to rush their names.

“You know, I've always liked the name Sophia,” Evan mused. His lips moved silently for a moment before he smiled. “Yeah, Danielle Sophia Buckley-Kinard. It's a mouthful but she'll grow into it.”

“I can't wait to see who she becomes,” Tommy said, pulling Evan's hand to his mouth to kiss his knuckles.

“What about you, sweetheart? Do you want to name one of our girls?” Evan asked. He smiled wide on saying our, his eyes glittering with happy tears.

“Cora Rose,” Tommy said immediately, the names rolling off his tongue. That was the only choice he could make, once he allowed himself to think about names. “Cora Rose Buckley-Kinard. For my grandmother and my mother. The last people who truly loved me for me before you.

“Tommy,” Evan murmured, his voice fond and full of love. He cupped Tommy’s cheek and pulled him in for a soft kiss. “So, we're really doing this?”

“We are,” Tommy agreed. Then he let out a disbelieving little laugh, tears glimmering in his eyes too. “We're going to be parents.”

Evan kissed him again. The kiss started sweet but soon turned hungry and desperate. Together, they laid back down and loved until sleep claimed them.

~*~*~*~

With the help of the lawyer Hen and Karen had retained in the fight to adopt Mara, Evan and Tommy worked through the legal system to formally adopt their girls. No one showed up to claim them or dispute the adoption.

A couple months later, Evan and Tommy threw a party to introduce their daughters to their extended families. Everyone gathered, cheerful and full of laughter and congratulations. Gifts piled up in the corner of living room as each new person came in.

Danielle Sophia and Cora Rose were officially Buckley-Kinards. They spent the party tucked in the crook of their father's arms, alternately sleeping and staring out at the multitude of people with curious eyes. Though they wouldn't know or understand until they were older, they were home. And they were loved.

#bucktommy #tevan #bucktommyfluffebruary #sam rambles #sam writes fic

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