#Personally I love conflicting morals and alignments

[henry-or-something]

silly little brain worm I've had about eom ep 31 & 32 (from someone who has NOT seen eom ep 31 & 32 yet) so spoilers.

From what I've gathered by proxy and the wiki is that the surviving cast kinda go evil (yay!) and have a "dark metamorphosis" or whatever it was called.

Anyways, the thought is what if Farryn and Yorgrim come back somehow, but instead they do the opposite.

Farryn is able to talk to Gwenna and make peace with her death. She learns from her to honor not only death and rot, but life and how to fully live it. She renounces Gorthos and becomes a druid of Druskenwald.

Yorgrim finds closure with his clan. He overcomes his guilt and reconnects with his people. He find that despite his mistakes, he did honor those he lost and no longer needed to carry his burden. He leaves the maiden of the mist and learns how to heal rather than harm.

This might be better if I actually listened to the episodes, but meh. I'll get to it lol. I just thought it'd be interesting if they came back completely different and how they would interact with the party. I also like the symbolism of them leaving their gods while the rest fall further into theirs.

[autistichalsin]

Okay I know I've made like three posts about this one specific thing but I gotta say, anyone who calls Halsin a typical boring Druid either doesn't understand Halsin or doesn't understand Druids, because Halsin is very much an atypical Druid.

Just a few ways Halsin is different than other Druids:

He can't control his wildshape. He transforms involuntarily when under stress, which is not a thing other Druids experience, and he can't control himself fully in wildshape either. He retains traits, such as an enhanced sense of smell, out of his wildshape form, and has the ability to remain as a bear borderline indefinitely, instead of Druids usually only being able to maintain the same form for a couple hours at most.

He doesn't hate undead; he views them the same as living creatures, worthy of life. He cares for Astarion deeply, and is furious if the player allows the 7,000 spawn to die. (He's a little nicer if they do it for a mercy kill instead of the ritual, but is clearly only happy when they are released into the Underdark, the exact thing a Druid is supposed to want to avoid.)

He dislikes the city because it displaces nature, yes, but he VERY rarely says that. Instead, almost every time he laments the conditions of Baldur's Gate, what distresses him is how capitalistic systems harm sentient beings- especially children. He is more upset at the human(oid) suffering he encounters in the city than he is at how it displaces nature.

Halsin is on an obviously morally good alignment. While Druids are no longer required to be neutral, most still are anyway, especially those from the Emerald Enclave, which the Emerald Grove is part of.

Emerald Enclave Druids are encouraged to sabotage society; they breed aggressive animals and place them near settlements to deter development, secretly sponsor brigands to attack new settlements, and simultaneously interact with local populations by providing sweet drinks and teas to boost their public image, so that new developments are curtailed while nearby people think the Druids are kind and harmless. Halsin very notably never even thinks about doing such things, even though it would be trivial for him to do so.

While Halsin's explanation for wanting to stop the Absolute is initially far more in line with Druidic thinking (they're unnatural, obviously), he later grows to want it finished because he wants you, the player, and your friends to be safe.

Halsin has zero desire to ladder-climb in the ranks of the Druids, nor to grow more powerful; he was perfectly happy as he was before the Shadow Curse, and is quite upset he had to waste 100 years of his life "dealing with others' problems and personalities." BUT the fact that he was happy to just that as alderman of his commune suggests the problem was with being forced into the position and being relied on as the sole authority, instead of one trusted elder of many.

Halsin wants children desperately, but was kept from having them by his leadership role. This is yet another example of how, despite his deeply held beliefs, being a Druid ultimately made him less happy.

Halsin isn't very good at leading the Druids, to the point that many of his Druids resent him, many are swayed to a cult the instant he leaves, and he himself decides the best thing he could possibly do for the Grove is leave it and have a better leader come in and take over.

Nearly every struggle Halsin has in the game arises from a conflict with his Druidic beliefs- whether it's his need to cleanse the Shadow Curse causing him to be an ineffective leader of the Grove, his desire for a family being held back by his leadership role, or his love of humanity battling against his hatred for cities as unnatural blots on nature.

Basically, nearly every character beat Halsin has comes from him not being a typical Druid at all, and in some cases, from him being rather bad at being the things Druids are supposed to be.

[egg-emperor]

Why I love how Eggman talks about Maria in the Shadow 101 + the connection that can be made to his feelings on Shadow:

I love this part so much and I wanna go into way too much detail and depth to explain why lol

The things this could imply are things I've thought about for a long time and to keep getting new official things that align with my theories on how he feels about Maria lately with Frontiers and now this is awesome!

First of all, I wouldn't say him taking Maria's death personally is an example of him having good standards or implying genuine moral goodness above G.U.N, considering he was cool with pointing a gun at Amy's head, who is around the same age as his cousin was who died via bullet, aboard the very place she died on.

He really didn't care about how he would've been no better than the soldier that killed his similarly aged cousin, with the same weapon, in the same place!

With the harshness of his threats and how he gets increasingly pissed during Crazy Gadget like "Sonic, if you don't come here, she WILL die!" and how he already tried to kill Tails and tried to kill Sonic and Tails again after this, his threats weren't empty.

So I'm seeing it as him taking it personally on the basis that she's a member of the family, the Robotnik family name, so an attack on a family member makes them a threat and enemy to him too.

Think about it, there's a conflict you're not a part of at all, you're just an observer but then two members of your family/your people/community etc become a target- that's when you go "oh this just got personal" because they're related to you, of your blood, and it means you're now a part of it too with your connection to them.

It's like that, except with Eggman's selfish nature, he's looking at it for how it poses as a threat to himself personally for his connection. They killed his grandfather and cousin in their slimy shady operations and they don't want to stop at them, that's when it became personal and a threat to him too and they have tried to directly take him out since multiple times in SA2 and Shadow 05.

Plus he's making Maria's tragedy all about himself with that in true Eggman fashion too, which we'll also get into.

And I want to note the very interesting difference in how Eggman acts on the subject of Maria when in private all alone to himself with his private memos, where he seemed to express absolutely no care about her tragedy and only expressed jealousy and resentment for how he feels he should've got all the attention instead.

He didn't expect anyone to ever hear these memos, he said many private things he'd never say to anyone else in them, a real intimate glimpse into his thoughts and feelings and that's what makes them so cool. He can express his bitterness and jealousy and resentment towards Maria to his heart's content.

Then compare that to how he talks about her in the Shadow 101- which isn't a private memo, it's a data log that he can present to someone else, us, the viewers. Which is why he talks like he's actually talking to someone else (Ex: The "treat him as extremely dangerous" part)

It's certainly very interesting difference to how he talks about her when people aren't supposed to hear at all in the memos huh 👀 After how much he heard "everyone" talking about her like she was so special, he knows what others want to hear.

And what comes right after this? Eggman's rant about how he was the one that released Shadow and he had to go ahead and be such an ingrate. This is very important to note because it works as him attempting to convince the viewer that Shadow not being on his side is this horrible disservice to him “after all he did for Shadow” and how he “cared so much about Shadow's only friend, my cousin” and he clearly actually finds the former amusing and scoffs at, by the way!

Two key things here, he's establishing Maria's importance to Shadow with her being his "only friend" and he's stating his own connection to Maria in being related to her as his cousin.

While he literally couldn't help but scoff at Shadow just wanting to live in peace with his only friend Maria, he still recognizes how he can use that in his attempted manipulation and argument for why Shadow should be on his side- and use the way that she's his cousin.

I'm related to his only friend Maria, I recognize how tragic her death was (because he heard everyone talk about her like she was special instead of giving him the attention he wants! He's putting it to use, eh 👀), I found and released him- these are all reasons he can feel and argue that he's entitled to owning Shadow

I'm also reminded of how Flynn said Eggman can be an unreliable narrator, which he specifically said when asked about implications to his past with the Egg Memo about Maria.

He's extremely biased and unreliable in his intended to be kept private memos, of course he's not going to be entirely truthful in his data logs and presentations too!

And his usual manipulative streak is very important to consider, especially on the subject of Shadow with his entitlement to him. It's his whole deal in the story of Shadow the Hedgehog 2005 which I've done extensive analysis of.

This 101 history video gave us yet another example of his "I'm entitled to him as a member of the family, I did so much for him, he's so ungrateful" attitude that he's always had towards Shadow. Behold, the entitlement compilation lol:

The first few examples are when he's saying how dare Shadow disobey him because he "made him" in lies and gaslighting. But in the route where Shadow knows the truth, even then he pulls the "it was MY grandfather who created you" card to express his entitlement. Literal emphasis on the MY:

He has always felt entitlement based on family connection, he can use both Gerald and Maria for this.

So he's still using a combination of that and now the way he was the one who found and released him as the reasons why he's still entitled to him now, creator or not.

And man the ME? ME! being the only word on his screen at the end of both sentences is perfect, really emphasizes how it's all me me me in his mind. Of course he's going to make everything about him, that's his whole mindset as the most egotistical self-centred narcissist of all time.

Of course he's gonna take it personally if something bad happens to a family member and he's gonna take even the smallest opportunity to make something about him. How can I make this thing about me, how does this affect me, how can this either benefit or harm me, etc. And whenever he can use it to his advantage, he will.

So yeah, I believe his words on the subject are very carefully chosen in this 101. He knows how to set up his case for why Shadow should be on his side, his weapon, his puppet, his property that he tried to trick and manipulate him into in Shadow 05 too. When lying about the origin of his creation with attempted gaslighting of him being an android doesn't work, he starts taking advantage of the truths.

I always theorized that Eggman would also try to use Maria's tragedy as a way to do so as well, if he were to actually mention her, many years prior to Frontiers. The way the only times he's cared to mention her was her name being the password in SA2, on the topic of his bitterness and jealousy in Frontiers, and as a precursor to his rant about Shadow- those are all under very interesting circumstances that are important to note. And boy do I like the implications hehe 💜

[wardenparker]

The Stars Re-Align, part 3

Frankie Morales x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

Rating: E for Explicit! 18+ Word Count: 13.1k Warnings: Reader is given an age and a grown daughter. Cursing, food/alcohol, mentions of military service (obviously), complicated relationships, family drama, mentions of past abusive relationship, mentions of past drug use, miscommunication, revelations, fingering, vaginal sex, unprotected sex. Summary: Helping Frankie and Luna get set up for the next steps of their life brings them much closer to you and Rachel. And to the possibility of family. Notes: Thank you so much to everyone who left such lovely comments and tags on this story as we went along! We really love a good One That Got Away story and we're so happy that you all do, too. Please enjoy the final installment! 🧡 As always, the gif is for the vibes, *not* a physical representation of the reader.

Half an hour after the call, when Benny knocks on the door of Fish's apartment, it's Pope who answers the door. "You brought a second army," he observes. There's just a touch of sadness in his smile when his eyes fall on you, but only a touch. In some ways, it just proves he made the right decision that you've dropped everything to come here.

“I was having dinner with them.” Benny shuffles into the apartment and looks around. “What’s going on, man?”

"Everybody come in." If he's surprised to see you, Will doesn't show it.

There's a tall woman at his side doing some very studious typing on her phone and you dimly recall Rachel saying Ben's brother has a long-term girlfriend. What catches your attention and holds it is the figure of Frankie Morales cradling a baby in his arms, and the way it wraps around your heart and twists is terrible. It's jealousy, but you have no right to that particular emotion. Not now or ever.

Settled by the bottle, Luna isn’t crying anymore, but Frankie continues to hold her close. Probably using her as a bit of a crutch himself, he can’t bring himself to put her down, even if she’s fallen back asleep.

The apartment is a mess. Things have been thrown around in a deliberate temper tantrum sort of way and it's clear that some frantic behavior has followed that tantrum, causing a bit more of a mess in the process. "Frankie..." For now you swallow down whatever conflicting emotions you have and walk over to him while the others get settled. "Ben said it was an emergency," you explain, as if you're trying to dignify why you came with Ben and Rachel even though you know that's not strictly necessary. "Are you—is she—okay?"

“You— she’s—” he’s practically speechless that you are here, his gaze darting around the destroyed apartment and he’s embarrassed that you are seeing this. “She’s okay…physically.” He murmurs, bouncing her in his arms slightly and feeling a little off kilter. “Uh— Marie, she, uh, she found Rachel’s phone number in my jacket.” He clears his throat. “She left.”

“She left…like…permanently?” You swallow hard around the implications of that, trying to reconcile what Rachel has told you of this woman with the kind of person that would abandon a child. It’s not the same as what happened with you and Frankie. This, in your opinion, is far worse.

“I think so.” While Frankie had just talked about extricating himself from a relationship with Marie, he had never once considered a situation where she would abandon Luna. He looks down at his daughter, and then his eyes find Rachel’s guiltily. As if he were just as equally horrible.

“What happened?” No sooner does Rachel meet his eyes than she’s crossing the apartment, laying one gentle hand on Luna’s back and very nearly reaching to hug him. She doesn’t know if he would even want that, but the way she almost just added Dad to the end of her sentence makes her own heart break.

He doesn’t want to tell her. Finding it too repulsive to even consider, but he owes her the most truth he can give. “She— she thinks that it was something different.” He tells her quietly. “Like I would cheat, or sleep with Ben’s girlfriend.” He doesn’t even bring up how disgusting it is since she is his daughter. “I tried to tell her that you— that we are—” he curses himself and snorts. “I told her you are my daughter and she didn’t believe me.”

Rachel blows out a long breath and centers herself, hands on her hips just like her father when he’s working something out. “Can I be honest?” Rachel asks, standing between her two parents and shaking her head.

“Always.” It’s not like he expects anything else, but he wants her to be able to share her thoughts and feelings.

“Marie is a cunt, Dad.” Rachel doesn’t beat around the bush, but reaches again to rub Luna’s back. “I’m glad she’s gone, if she really is. Because she’s awful and you two deserve so much better.”

The snickers of the guys showcase their complete agreement with her view and Frankie frowns as he looks down at his sleeping daughter again. “I just— I didn’t expect her to call our daughter a crotch goblin.” He admits quietly. “She was happy she was pregnant. Even if I wasn’t thrilled.” It’s a guilty thought, but he hadn’t been overly joyful at the prospect of having a kid.

“Terrible people say terrible things,” Rachel reasons. She leans forward more this time, waving one friendly finger in her baby sister’s face to make her giggle then places a kiss on Luna’s forehead. “Good riddance. And if she ever says another word against this little angel, I’ll punt her across the Gulf.”

“I— you’re right.” He sighs softly, his heart clenching at the sight of his previously unknown daughter being so sweet to Luna. “I knew she was resentful that I left on a…business trip when Luna was a few weeks old, but I never thought she would take it out on her.”

“Having a child doesn’t automatically make you a good parent,” you reason, with your hands sheepishly stuffed in your pockets. “Just like you can be an amazing parent without ever having children of your own. It’s not clean-cut like that. And it sounds like…like she was not going to be in this for the long run. One way or another.”

His eyes meet yours, sad because it feels like you might be making a pointed statement about him. He just nods and sighs again when Luna kicks, looking down at her and rubbing her stomach as he holds her. “Yeah.”

“I just mean…” He looks so fucking sad that your heart breaks all over again, when you meant to be supporting him. “There are plenty of people in your circle who are going to be ready to help you, Frankie. Just because the woman who gave birth to this little girl turned out to be less-than-ideal doesn’t mean she’ll be alone. We’re all here to help.”

“You don’t owe me anything.” He reminds you quietly. “Call it poetic justice.” He doesn’t want you to feel like you have to do anything. Not after what he’s done.

“Don’t be silly.” What happened between the two of you is beside the point, as far as you’re concerned. At least it isn’t relevant right now, so you brush it aside. “It takes a village, right? Well, here we are.”

The differences between you and Marie could not be more evident than at this moment. He swallows harshly and he looks back up at you. “Thanks.”

“Okay.” Santiago’s voice cuts through the tension in the room, and most of the group takes that as a signal to congregate, all moving toward the living room sofa en masse. “So we have some things to figure out, but the ball is rolling. Jess is getting in contact with a lawyer for custody papers, the clean up here will take maybe an hour at most, and from there it’s making sure Fish and Luna are taken care of.”

“I— thanks again.” Frankie mutters, looking incredibly embarrassed by all of this. “I appreciate this and Luna does as well.”

“If it was one of us, you’d be right there in the trenches,” Benny reminds him. He sits down on the edge of the couch and puts an arm around Rachel when she comes to sit beside him, grateful for nothing but kindness from both her and you.

“I have some work I can do remotely for a week or two,” you offer, knowing that handling a baby alone can be difficult even under the best conditions. “And…I can cook.” A thing which was never Frankie’s forte as a teenager.

“I guess that’s— I don’t want to come between you and your life.” His eyes slide over to Santiago, burying his own jealousy because it’s not fair.

“I have the time and the skills.” It isn’t meant to be a rude reminder, but just an honest one. You’re the only person here who has raised a baby thus far. “I’ll take a personal day tomorrow and then work from home for a little while. The office won’t mind, since I’m still in the preliminary stages of my next project.”

“If you’re sure…” Frankie can take care of his daughter. That’s never been a problem. He’s not one that complains about getting up during the night or changing dirty diapers. But he is trying to appeal the loss of his license and needs to be able to attend hearings. It was good that he had preemptively went to rehab and could provide clean tests. Hopefully it would be enough.

“I have a work laptop, a deep knowledge of Disney and children’s music, and the ability to cook enough to leave you leftovers.” For the first time, your hand moves to his arm and you give it a gentle squeeze. “I’m sure, Frankie.”

"It won't be for long." He promises. "As soon as I can get my license back, I can afford to get a daycare or a sitter service for Luna." He shrugs slightly. "I can fly again." He's not sure what Santiago has told you, but there's no need to hide anything from you.

“Mom has you covered for a little bit, and Benny and I can help,” Rachel assures him. The deep need to connect to her little sister and be there for her father is strong and already growing.

“And Jess and I will fill in the blanks,” Will promises. Luna will never be without a second set of eyes, Fish. You’ll be able to make your appointments and do everything you need to do.”

Frankie blows out a sigh and he looks around. "Should I move?" He asks quietly. "In case she comes back? Or stay here and if she does come back, we address it then?"

“Move in with us.” Rachel blurts out, unapologetic in her honesty and immediately stubborn on the point as soon as the thought occurs to her. “We have the space, and Marie wouldn’t know how to find you.”

Frankie's eyes widen at the offer and his heart leaps at the idea but his gaze darts over to you. "Rachel, sweetheart...I couldn't possibly do that." He shakes his head when your own shocked face mirrors his. You don't want that and he won't make your life harder.

“Guys, will you give us a minute?” This is not a conversation that you want spectators for, and it only takes a second of hesitation for Will and Jess to stand.

“Let’s start picking up.” Will suggests, casting meaningful looks at Santiago and Benny. This isn’t their conversation. Especially not Pope’s anymore.

Frankie shuffles slightly, biting his lip and wishing that he didn't have to hear the scolding that Rachel was in for. He knows that she only has good intentions, but it's not the same as offering up a place to live for him and a child he fathered by another woman.

“Do you feel unsafe here?” You ask Frankie, wanting an honest answer rather than the one he feels he ought to give. Men have a hard time speaking up in abusive situations for a hell of a lot of reasons and you’re not about to add to his stress. “Like if Marie came back, she might hurt you or the baby?”

"She wouldn't hurt me." Frankie assures you. "But...I don't— I might hurt her." He admits softly. "If she tries to hurt Luna. I'll talk to the property management. Have the locks changed."

“Is there any possibility she would actually try to hurt Luna?” This sweet little baby did nothing wrong, and the part of you that missed out on getting to see Frankie hold your little girl is both savoring and jealous of this moment of his protection.

"If she's high?" Frankie wouldn't want to believe it, but he can't be sure. "I don't know. She's angry at me and she knows that I would die for Luna."

“If she’s—” That is going to have to be a conversation for another time, but you nod your head once and look at Rachel. Your steadfast, loyal-to-a-fault daughter is looking at you so expectantly that you can’t even hold her gaze, and end up looking back at Frankie. “We have a guest room and a safe neighborhood. Our HOA is a pain in the ass but if they know a vehicle isn’t supposed to be in the neighborhood they will have a tow truck in the street before she even gets out of her car.”

"Gatita..." he closes his eyes and relaxes slightly when he feels Rachel take the baby from him. Opening his eyes again, he knows that it's the right choice. "We won't be there long." He promises after a moment.

"You'll be there for as long as you need to be." Will it be awkward, maneuvering around each other? Sure. But this isn't about your comfort level. This is about his safety and the safety of his baby.

******

Your home is surprisingly easy to settle into, but Frankie tries to give you and Rachel space. Finding some of the run ins a little awkward in that ‘navigating new roommates’ waters. Right now though, it’s three in the morning and Luna has woken up hungry. Leaving a sleepy-eyed Dad to shuffle into the kitchen in a pair of sleep pants and a little girl bouncing against his bare shoulder as he mixes up a bottle.

There’s a light on in the kitchen when you come down the stairs, bleary-eyed and dealing with a stupid amount of heartburn from that second helping of chili you shouldn’t have had at dinner. You can hear him before you see him — the gentle shushing of a parent soothing an infant — and you knock gently on the archway to the kitchen before stepping inside. “Sorry to interrupt,” you murmur quietly, not wanting to scare Luna.

“Hey, sorry.” Frankie winces slightly, sure that he’s woken you up. “Baby girl needed a bottle. We’ll be settled down and quiet soon.”

“Don’t worry about it.” When you move toward the fridge too, you almost laugh at the irony. “I came down for milk, too. Heartburn is a bitch.”

He winces sympathetically and nods. “Remember when we were young? Heartburn was something our parents made up.” He snorts, aware that he’s had to change his diet as he’s gotten older.

“I’d give anything to be able to eat the way we did back then.” The carton of milk comes out onto the counter and so does a glass, but you’re self-conscious of giving Frankie enough space so you stay tucked in the corner. “Can I ask…” You shift slightly in place. “How are you adjusting?”

“Day to day, at night, it’s not a lot of difference.” Frankie admits. You have helped him tremendously during the day, but he insists on taking care of Luna himself when he gets back. “I always took care of the baby when I got home.” He tells you. “She needed a break and I didn’t mind.”

“Is there anything you need picked up? Changed?” It’s not your place to remark on his ex-girlfriend’s parenting, or seeming lack thereof, but you have noticed that the only people who contact him are his lawyer and his friends. The guys have been quite active actually, either helping him move the last of his things from the apartment into storage, helping with Luna, or helping him get things organized for his hearings.

“I don’t think so.” He is so grateful to you for everything. “I am planning on cutting the grass tomorrow.” He tells you. “So don’t worry about that.”

“I’m assuming it won’t make a difference if I tell you that you don’t need to do chores?” The Frankie of your past was a stubborn guy, and a nostalgic smile curls your lips.

“No.” Frankie frowns and looks over at you with dark eyes. “You are letting me stay, watching my child and you won’t take my money.” He huffs, slightly offended at the handout. “I can help around here.”

“Just don’t overextend yourself. Your appointments are more important than the lawn.” It’s nice that he wants to help, and you’re not going to stop him, but you don’t want Frankie to get himself behind because he gets obsessed with helping.

“I know.” Frankie nods. “I don’t have an appointment tomorrow. And the lawyers said that it looks promising.” He tells you.

“I’m glad to hear that.” Your own glass of milk is cold and soothing, and you pour a second for good measure. “I was planning on working from home again tomorrow. I hope that won’t bother you too much.”

“Gatita, this is your house.” Frankie reminds you. “You are free to do whatever you want.” He snorts. “If you wanted to walk around naked, I would just have to try to not stare.” He’s tired and he’s been dreaming about you after spending so much time with you. He didn’t mean to say that, but it popped out.

The burning in your cheeks is immediate, that combination of embarrassment and rekindled desire making you quickly look away so he won’t see how much you love hearing him call you Gatita again, or how much you actually want him to mean it when he says things like that to you. It had been deep in your head that the love you still have for Frankie would bubble to the surface with him in your house, but you didn’t know quite how bad it was going to be. “Well…I would say you’ve always been a gentleman, but we were teenagers together. The parts of us that are good at restraint now didn’t really exist back then.”

“No need to be a gentleman when I had you.” Frankie murmurs softly, twisting the cap back on the bottle and shaking it up as Luna grunts against his shoulder. She’s not crying right now, but she will be if she doesn’t get her bottle. “Only had to restrain myself around our parents.”

“Something neither of us was terribly good at,” you admit with a snort. “At least they never actually caught us having sex. That would have been mortifying.”

“Dad did.” Frankie admits, sending you a sheepish grin. “Senior year. He opened the door slightly and immediately closed it. I saw him in the mirror.”

“Oh my god.” You almost drop your glass, fumbling to get it on the counter with little enough noise to not agitate the baby and stifle your laughter at the same time. “Seriously? I am so glad you never told me that.”

He laughs quietly and nods. “We had sworn to never speak of it. And I hadn’t, until now.”

“I never would have been able to look him in the eye again.” Unfortunately, Frankie’s father had passed years ago — your own parents had sent you the obituary. “I sent flowers to the funeral home when he passed,” you admit quietly. “No card or anything, but…it was too little too late. I know that.”

Frankie closes his eyes and sighs softly. “Thank you.” He murmurs softly. “He loved you and he told me that I was the biggest goddamn fool for breaking up with you.”

“We were kids.” It’s not a good reason but it’s still a reason, and you’re not willing to rehash your breakup at 3am over milk with his infant.

“Yeah.” He can see that you are building walls against the conversation. He turns Luna over and pops the bottle into her mouth. “Well…I better let you get back to bed.” He murmurs. “Goodnight.”

“I—” The feeling of being dismissed from your own kitchen is uncomfortable at best, and you frown before setting your glass in the dishwasher and simply stepping away. “Sorry to have disturbed you. Goodnight.”

Frankie frowns as he watches you leave and he hates how it seems like you’ve taken three steps back. Sighing softly, he looks down at Luna staring up at him. “What?” He asks her softly. “I didn’t do anything.”

******

By the next morning, you’ve resolved to apologize. Being short with him was unnecessary and doesn’t exactly make things easier for anyone. Not to mention, Frankie is having a hard enough time as it is without you getting mopey that he hasn’t just sat down beside you on the couch and snuggled you into his side like you want him to.

Getting up early, you head back downstairs and start making up a big pan of French toast and another whole tray of bacon. Sure there’s only three of you, but baking breakfast will give you time to make some fresh baby food for Luna, something you had loved doing for Rachel as well.

Frankie wakes up to the sounds of stirring in the kitchen. Groaning quietly at the aches and pains of his older self. Getting older sucks and it’s compounded by the abuse he put his body through when he was in the Army. Glancing at the clock, he sighs and sits up, grabbing his shirt. He will need to get started on the lawn before Luna wakes up.

The coffee pot has just finished bubbling when he gets downstairs, the rich, black brew piping hot and mixing with the other smells in the kitchen to be nothing short of enticing. Coffee, cinnamon, vanilla, bacon, and apples all mix together in the early morning like a welcoming curtain of comfort.

“Smells good.” Frankie shoves his hat on his head. “Baby’s still asleep. Thought I would get started on the grass.”

"Okay." Even though you nod, you gesture slightly at the baby monitor in his hand. "Do you want to leave that with me? I can get her changed and fed while breakfast cooks. She's got fresh apple and sweet potato puree for this morning."

“You’re too good to us—her.” Frankie huffs, shooting you a small smile. “After I get done, I’ll take her right back. I promise.”

"Frankie..." Your palms sweat and you hate yourself for being so affected by him still, but here you are. So deeply affected that you feel like you're fifteen all over again. "I wanted to apologize. For last night."

“You have nothing to apologize for.” Frankie shakes his head. “I was…out of line.”

"I shouldn't have been dismissive, or snapped at you. It's not out of line to want to talk about our past." Exhaling softly, you lean back against the counter and bite your bottom lip as you debate how much is really wise to say. "It's just bringing up a lot of old emotions and I wasn't prepared to work through them thoroughly at three in the morning."

“Yeah,” Frankie shuffles slightly. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.” He hums quietly. “I know that it’s hard. I should have just kept quiet.”

"No." You shake your head and take a step back toward him instead of shrinking away again. "No, that's...keeping quiet and hiding things from each other is how I got us into this mess. I don't want to perpetuate that anymore."

Frankie sighs. “No, me being a fucking asshole is what got us into the mess of you raising a kid by yourself.” He tells you.

"I should have just told you." Twenty-four years of hindsight is twenty-twenty. "If I hadn't been so scared, it would have worked out eventually."

“And I should have come back.” Frankie snorts. “I should have found you. Begged you to take me back.” He puts his hands on his hips. “There’s a million things I shouldn’t have done, or should have.”

"I should have figured out how to write to you at boot camp. Or found your parents after they moved. Anything." Your arms cross over your chest in some kind of unconscious half-mirroring of him, but you end up swallowing a sigh. "Rachel does that, you know. Her hands on her hips, like you do. There's so much of you in her and I'm so sorry that you missed some of it."

Those words make him close his eyes. Absorbing them and trying not to let them hurt as bad as they do. “I just don’t want to miss any more.”

"I don't want you to, either." It's a small admission. Also too little, too late. But at least it's honest. "And neither does she."

“I know you don’t – this isn’t ideal.” Frankie admits. “You don’t really want me here. And I just don’t want to overstep.”

"Why do you think I don't want you here?" Can you guess at plenty of reasons? Of course. But you're curious to know why he assumes you would have invited him into your home if you didn't want him here at all.

“Who wants their ex in their house?” Frankie snorts. “I’ve cost you your relationship, made you a babysitter and make you uncomfortable by bringing up a past I can’t forget.” He practically whispers the last part, almost ashamed of it.

Something about the whole scenario just makes you crack in your chest and you almost cave in on yourself, letting the words out before you can stop yourself. Six simple words, but with so much meaning. "I don't care. I miss you."

Frankie bites his lip, curling his hands into his hips to keep from reaching for you. “You miss who I was.” He reminds you. “I’ve become a very different one.”

"So have I." You weren't expecting rejection to sting as much as it does, even though you don't even know that you actually offered enough for him to reject. It still makes you want to cry, though, in a very vulnerable and surprised sort of way. "That doesn't mean we aren't still who we are at the core."

“I’ve…done things.” Frankie admits. “Bad things. Things that would make you curl away from me in disgust.”

"Nobody's pure." But you shuffle a little where you're standing and look up again, actually looking him in the eyes. "Santiago told me about South America. Everything. So I'm not as much of a wilting flower as you might think."

“Never said you were.” He knows you are strong, capable. You raised Rachel by yourself and all the struggles that it entailed.

"I'm not trying to force anything." Though if it happened, you would absolutely not be opposed to it. You've realized that in the three days since Frankie and Luna moved into your house. "I'm just saying, if I didn't want you here, or I didn't want to know who you are now...then you wouldn't be here at all. I just wouldn't have offered, regardless of anything Rachel said."

“Maybe you shouldn’t have offered.” Frankie snorts. “Fuck knows you wouldn’t have if you know what I think about around you.” He’s just determined to beat himself up, still depressed and trying to self-sabotage without the use of coke.

That just makes you scoff, shoving your hands in your pockets weakly because what you really want to do is cross the kitchen tiles and just throw your arms around him like you always used to. "I fully expect you to hate me. I'm not going to make you leave my house just because you rightfully dislike your ex for keeping your daughter from you."

He stares at you for a moment before he laughs. “You think I hate you?” He demands roughly. “Hate doesn’t have me dreaming about seeing if I could beat the goddamn record I set when we were seventeen.” He hisses. “Hate doesn’t have me waking up in the middle of the night with my hand around my cock because you still smell the same and those sheets smell like you. Hate isn’t something I want to do to you, gatita.”

For about three full seconds, all you can do is stand there and stare at him. It's like your mind had shut down trying to comprehend what he is saying to you and is only slowly booting back up like an ancient computer. A small squeak escapes you and all the air goes out of your chest just before water pricks at your eyes, and all of a sudden you're moving straight across the kitchen to kiss him before you can even process what you're doing.

Frankie had fully expected a hand across his cheek, so when you launch yourself at him, he’s shocked. Groaning against your lips for a split second before he’s wrapping his arms around you, one hand cradling your head to keep you close. To keep you kissing him.

He's thicker than he was as a gangly teenager. Age has given him muscles and then softened them again, making him pliant under your touch just as much as you are under his. The powerful magnet of attraction between you leaves no room for questioning in the moment. You're just two people clinging desperately to each other and to hope, and the first slide of your tongue against his when your lips part to deepen the kiss is like coming home. A very specific, very teenage home – but this is still where your heart lives.

Frankie groans, finding it to be his turn to move. Turning and pressing you against the counter as he drowns in this kiss. It feels so right, despite the mistakes that he has made, the sins he has committed, he tastes nothing but the overwhelming sense of rightness in your lips.

He had dipped down to find the perfect angle to capture your soft moan when it crossed your lips, but now Frankie straightens again. Breaking your head so it won’t hit the cabinets, his other hand pulls you close at the waist — expanded, soft from carrying and birthing a baby and simply being alive for more than forty years — as your hands wander his body to recommit every plane of him to memory. There’s a beautiful rosy nostalgia over the kiss even with the nearly feral need each of you feels, and something drastic might have happened if not for the soft cry of surprise that emanates from the half-light of the living room.

Pulling back in surprise, Frankie’s eyes widen when he sees Rachel standing there. “Uh, I—” he glances at you, unsure of what to say at this point.

“Rach, why don’t you go check on your sister?” You suggest, feeling the reason that Frankie might need a couple of minutes to calm down throb and jump against your hip. Not that your restraint is much better. You’re going to need to change your panties just from being kissed.

“Uh, sure, I can do that.” She nods dramatically, whirling around. “Then I—I’m going to go over to Ben’s. All day. I’ll text when I come back.”

“Breakfast in five minutes!” You call after her, not sure if she’s actually heard you or not as her footsteps ascend the stairs all over again. She’s gone again in a flash and you bite your lip when your eyes track back to Frankie, no guilt or embarrassment in your expression, only a little bit of sheepishness at being caught.

“Well, I think that embarrassed her.” Frankie comments as he looks over to you. He doesn’t know exactly what you are thinking, but it’s not regret on your face. That makes a ghost of a smile curl up the edges of his mouth.

“Don’t let her fool you.” The warmth in your cheeks is only matched by the warmth in the rest of you, waves of it crawling under your skin with how close he is. “She thinks I don’t know that she’s wanted her parents back together since she was five years old.”

“She didn’t know me.” Frankie frowns slightly and hopes this isn’t just some kind of wish fulfillment.

“I used to tell her more.” You admit, though you’re not sure if that’s good or bad. It’s selfish, but it was also survival. “I stopped when she got old enough to realize that…” Blowing out a breath, your eyes drop down from his. He probably does not want to hear this, despite kissing you back just now. “That I’ve still always had feelings for you.”

“You— you still wanted to be with me?” He’s surprised that you would, given how he had left. “Baby….its— I’ve always regretted leaving you. I called you.” He reveals. “Several times….but I never could say anything.”

“You called?” Your eyebrows raise back all the way up your forehead, eyes watery with hopeful tears that you refuse to shed and ruin the moment. “Oh no…” A gasp leaves you, almost washing out the sounds of Rachel and Luna cooing and giggling at each other over the baby monitor. “You called…in the two years after you left for the Army?”

“Yeah.” Frankie chokes out, looking away and feeling ashamed that he hadn’t been able to fucking say a word when he had called your house. “After I got out of bootcamp. I would fucking dial your number at least twice a week. Every time, someone would pick up and I couldn’t say a word. Didn’t have the words I wanted to say.”

“And then…after a while…the number stopped working?” You guess, biting back a sigh of regret.

“Yeah.” He frowns and tilts his head. “How did you—”

“Because my parents got their phone number changed after we had so many hangups in such a short amount of time,” you explain, now feeling guilty for what had happened. “They thought it was some criminal or stalker or something. We moved about a year later anyway.”

“Fuck.” Frankie hisses, closing his eyes and berating himself for his fucking stupidity. “I just— I choked every time I tried to ask for you. In fucking Delta training and I couldn’t fucking apologize.”

“No use in being upset about it now…” Those days are twenty years past. A lifetime ago and then some. And you’re stuck in the here and now with your hand still flexing at his hip. “We should…talk, though. Rach is going to have a million questions.”

“Of course.” He nods and slides his hands over his lounging pants. “What— you start.”

Don’t think about it, don’t think about it, don’t think about it… You tell yourself sternly, eyes flickering down to where his large hands stretch dangerously to other, equally interesting parts of him. “We both just…we were seeing other people. Until literally a few days ago.” If you don’t remind yourselves of that you feel like you’ll burst. “But…I miss you. And I do still have feelings for you. And…and if you’re open to it, when you’re ready, I think finding out how we could be together as adults is— well, it’s a long time coming, would you say?”

That….is not what he expected you to say. He had expected to hear something about taking it slow or perhaps it should be kept quiet, but not that. “I’ve never stopped having feelings for you.” Frankie promises you softly. “And I— I’ve missed you every goddamn day.”

“I’m not going to push you for anything. Not quickly, not ever.” Whatever he wants to have with you, you want it to be freely given just like you intend to give freely. “I kind of…really love seeing you in my house like this…”

He looks down at his clothes, like that might explain what you are talking about. “Rumpled?” He jokes quietly.

“That’s one word for it,” You admit, grinning softly. “I was thinking sexy, though.”

“If tired, ex-military dad is sexy, I guess I’m it.” Frankie smirks.

“It is.” You can’t help but laugh a little. “Definitely.”

He steps closer to you again. “Well, do you want to drool over this tired dad mowing the grass?” He teases. “I’ll even do it shirtless.”

“Eat breakfast with us first.” That is something you’ll insist on, especially since the timer is about to go off on the oven in about twenty seconds. “And then I’ll sit and gawk at the dining room table afterward.”

Frankie snorts but agrees with a nod. “It smells amazing. You are a great cook.”

“You always liked breakfast, so I took a shot that you would like Rachel’s favorite baked French toast.” You’re going to need to open the oven in just a few seconds, but the last thing you want to do is pull away from the heat of him. “I swear I can do more than just casseroles now.”

He chuckles quietly. “Better than me. Although I need to learn. Luna deserves to have a parent who can feed her more than frozen dinners.” You also deserve to have some of the burden lifted off of you, but that’s another conversation.

“I’ll teach you if you want?” There were a couple of family recipes his mother taught you when you were teenagers that Rachel loves, and plenty of other things of course. But when the timer goes off and you’re forced to step away reluctantly, you add: “And I bet Rachel would, too. She’s pretty damn good in her own right. It might be something you can do together.”

“Maybe we can all do it?” Frankie asks hopefully. Wanting to spend time with both of you. “Between the two of you, I might have a fighting chance.”

“Absolutely.” You’re about willing to promise him anything he wants right now, but first it’s just about taking the pans out of the oven and stifling the need to steal one more kiss when you hear Rachel descend the stairs with a happily babbling Luna in her arms.

“Good.” Frankie makes sure you aren’t holding a pan when he swoops in again. Planting a quick, hard kiss on your lips. “Later.” He whispers, much like he had promised so many years ago when you were about to be interrupted.

It’s good that the girls make plenty of noise coming downstairs so no one else can hear the more-than-slightly-pitiful whimper that Frankie pulls out of you, but you snap back into reality well enough to clamp your mouth shut and motion for him to grab plates from the cupboard without imploding.

“Everyone decent?” Rachel calls out before her head pokes around the door. “There’s a small child present!”

“We were never not decent,” you point out, waving your daughter into the room. “Do you want to get your sister’s cup of food or help your dad set the table?” It’s possibly the most domestic sentence you’ve said…maybe ever, and it rolls through you like summer sunrise.

“Whatever you need me to do.” Her grin is wide and proudly embarrassed as she eyes both of you. “Soooooooooooo. Mom.” She tilts her head towards you with a glint in her eyes. “Do we need to have the safe sex talk, young lady?”

“Your very existence is proof that it’s too late for that,” you remind her, but a smirk forms in the corner of your mouth either way. “Let’s all sit down to eat and we can talk a little. Okay?”

“Seriously though.” Rachel turns towards her dad. “You hurt my mom, and I’ll sic Ben on you.” She warns playfully.

“Sweet pea, get your sister settled and we’ll all talk,” you insist, biting your lip a little at the idea of anything going wrong again. You don’t like it and you don’t even want to process it right now.

“Okay.” It’s more you using ‘sweet pea’ instead of anything else that makes her nod and move to get Luna settled in her high chair. You are upset about something, or avoiding it and she wonders what it is.

It takes a few minutes to get everyone settled and served, but you manage it pretty well and Frankie gets Luna fed before digging in for himself.

“So….” Frankie takes a bite, groaning and rolling his eyes happily at the taste of the casserole. “This is good.” He moans. “Like the best damn thing I’ve ever eaten.” He might have been about to start this talk, but now he’s distracted by the breakfast.

"Iknowright?" Rachel mumbles all at once, thrilled to see her favorite breakfast materialize on the table without asking for it.

“So good.” He forks up another bite before reaching for the syrup again to add more to the French toast bake.

"At least I know I can subdue you both with French toast if you get out of hand," you tease, looking between father and daughter at the table and snorting a laugh.

Both of them look up at you at the same time, forks halfway to their mouths, with the exact same disgruntled expression on their faces.

"Goddamn I wish you could see yourselves right now." It isn't that you didn't know Rachel was like her father. You had known that for her whole life. But seeing them side by side throws it into sharp relief. "Look at these two," you coo to Luna, reaching over to tickle the baby's soft and chubby belly in that way that makes her giggle. "They're exactly the same, aren't they sweetheart?"

It’s fucking amazing, how you are with Luna. Frankie had always felt like Marie wasn’t as maternal or soft as he thought she should be, but then immediately felt guilty for thinking that way. He’s just happy that you are obviously thrilled to have a baby in the house. “We have some similar traits?” He asks, looking over at Rachel.

"Apparently a lot." Rachel shrugs, not knowing she does it in the same way as her father and always has. "According to Mom, Ben should have picked up a vibe really fast."

"I think it just made him subconsciously more comfortable with you," you clarify, forking up another bite of your own breakfast. "Which is a good thing. I'm not saying he should have been confused by it or anything."

Frankie chuckles lightly and reaches over to pick up another spoonful of the puréed apples and sweet potato to feed to Luna. “He would have just thought you were weird.” He jokes.

"To be fair, he does think I'm weird," Rachel clarifies. Her coffee is getting low and she stretches to grab the pot for a refill. "But he likes that about me."

He snorts and nods, holding up his cup when she offers to refresh his. “Ben’s weird himself, so that checks out.”

"Weird is better." You've always thought so. Even used to say so when you were younger. "It's more interesting."

“You used to say I was your perfect kind of weird.” Frankie blurts out, remembering when you would lovingly coo it to him. He would always roll his eyes, but he enjoyed it.

"You were." The reminder – the fact that he even remembers you saying that – warms through you and your face burns bashfully. "Probably still are, if we're honest."

“I think that makes you even weirder.” Frankie snorts, shooting you a playful look. “Because….look at me.”

"I'm not exactly the world's most exciting person, Frankie." You aim a shrug in his direction, doctoring your refilled mug of coffee. "It took me a long time, but for the most part I'm happy with where I am in life. That doesn't make me too interesting, though."

“No, nothing is interesting about a strong, beautiful, capable woman who has raised an equally beautiful daughter by herself, made a comfortable life for her and still maintained the sweetness of youth.” Frankie narrows his eyes slightly, hating how you put yourself down.

"And she has a super fucking cool job, too." Rachel pipes up, obviously ready to back her father up on this one. "Working for the Mouse means we get to go to the parks for free. Luna's going to love it just like I did."

“Just because you went, doesn’t mean Luna will get tickets too, sweetheart.” Frankie reminds her.

“Of course we’ll go.” The idea that Frankie doesn’t think you’d treat his baby daughter well hits you somewhere deep in your chest and you work not to frown. “Unless you don’t want to go? Then we’ll just have a girl’s day.”

“It’s not—” he’s offended you, something that he wasn’t trying to do and he shakes his head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that the way you took it. I just— I never assume anything.” He tells you. “Just because you have tickets doesn’t mean you owe them us, that’s all.”

“It isn’t that I owe it to you.” Reaching across the space at the table in front of Luna’s highchair, you squeeze his hand gently. “But Rach is right, even if she didn’t exactly mean to point it out. We’re a family.”

Frankie looks over at Luna and smiles softly, the baby is shoving her fingers in her mouth and cooing happily. “You ever want more kids?” He asks.

"All the time." You don't mind answering that honestly, but you shrug your shoulders and pick up a piece of bacon from your plate. "I don't relish being referred to as a geriatric pregnancy, though."

“You aren’t geriatric.” Frankie frowns and shakes his head. “Hell— I mean…I thought this was my first go round, but I missed the first.” He hates it, but he reaches over and takes Rachel’s hand with his other. Holding both of your hands.

"Geriatric pregnancies are anyone giving birth over the age of thirty-five." Rachel clarifies for her father, fully putting aside her fork to hold his hand with both of hers. "Mom just doesn't want to feel old. Even though she says I'm the thing that made her old." The last thought comes with a teasing grin thrown your way.

“Hell, I feel ancient knowing I have a grown ass daughter.” Frankie snorts, shaking his head. “I know she feels the same way, considering she had to carry you.”

Your own half-laugh sounds when you swing your head over to look at him. "You make big babies, Morales."

He chuckles and shrugs slightly. “That might be why Marie was never happy after Luna.” He jokes. “She was nearly eleven pounds, believe it or not.”

Rachel snorts, forkful of food halfway to her mouth, and grins. "Twins. I was eleven pounds, too. Eleven pounds and...twenty inches?" She looks to you when she can't remember.

"Twenty-one." It probably shouldn't, but it makes you laugh at this point. The horror over how big she was at birth is long over with. "The nurse asked me if the father was a giant."

“Definitely not a giant.” Frankie huffs, knowing that he’s shorter and weighs less than Rachel’s boyfriend. But he can still kick his ass.

"To answer your question..." The three of you go back to eating, finishing up your plates with satisfaction. "I absolutely think about having more kids all the time. That's why I love babysitting so much."

“Yeah….” It’s definitely helped him. He had spent so much time worrying about his home life that he couldn’t properly square things away. He owes you a lot. “You’re great with her.”

"If I ever overstep, you just need to tell me." It's been a lot of years since you took care of your own infant. Parenting advice has definitely changed. And as much as you might dream about having another kid, Luna is not your baby. She's Frankie's and that means he has the last word on decisions for her.

“I doubt you could overstep.” He argues but he nods when you just stare at him. “But I will let you know.”

"So..." When the last bite is off her plate, Rachel sits back in her chair with her coffee mug in both hands. "I'm going to go to Ben's..." she repeats her thought from earlier with both eyebrows raised. "All day. Probably for two days...you guys...gonna do anything special?"

Frankie cuts his eyes over to Rachel, knowing exactly what she’s going to be doing thanks to Ben’s fat fucking mouth before he knew she was his daughter. “Talking.” He grunts. “Cutting the grass. Cleaning my guns.”

"Dad..." Since she broke the ice on using that title, Rachel has embraced it. "No guns on Ben."

“No promises.” Frankie huffs. “Fucker deserves it.” He shrugs his shoulders when she squawks at him. “What? I won’t hit anything vital!”

"Sorry, Rach." You snicker softly, under your breath. "This is part of having a Dad."

“I don’t think I like this part.” Rachel rolls her eyes playfully and Frankie rolls his right back.

“Yeah, will I don’t like knowing how my daughter gives a blowjob. So we’re even.”

"Okey dokey." Instantly shooting up from the table, you focus entirely on picking up Luna without looking at Rachel or Frankie. "Gonna take the baby into the living room. I'll clean up later."

“Sorry.” Frankie apologizes as you whisk out of the room like your pants are on fire. “Shouldn’t have said that.”

"She'll get over it." Rachel does smile though, a small and embarrassed expression on her face. "Ben feels like an asshole for talking the way he did, for the record. He apologized to me, too. Even though I don't really care."

“We’ve all talked that way before.” Frankie can admit that. The only reason it became a problem is because of who she is to him. Otherwise, he wouldn’t care. “But it’s good he apologized. He really loves you.”

"And I really love him." She promises, absolutely serious. "As his friend, I hope you know that."

“Even as your dad.” It’s a title that always makes him smile when either one of them uses it. “I want you to be with someone who loves you. That’s all I want. He’s a good man.”

"I know it's new..." she sips her coffee as they sit together. "But do you mind that I've started using that name?"

“No.” That’s something he would never mind. “Not at all, I’m….glad you feel comfortable calling me ‘Dad’.” He admits with a small smile. “Just hope that one day that you’re proud that I am your dad.”

"I am proud." Even when he was just her boyfriend's friend, she had always liked Frankie a lot. He's a good guy who doesn't give himself nearly enough credit. "I'm proud of Mom and I'm proud of you, too."

“That…that’s great.” He nods, enjoying the conversation and feeling proud of the fact that she is happy to know him.

"I'm going to clean up and go to Ben's." Pushing back from the table and standing, Rachel puts one hand out to squeeze his shoulder and starts to pick up dishes and stack them in her arms. "Whatever you and Mom end up talking about...just know how much she loves you. My whole life she's never looked at another guy the way she looks at you. I know you mean the world to her."

“You have no reason to really believe me, because of me being gone from your life the entire time you were growing up, but I don’t want to hurt her. Ever again.” Frankie promises. “I think we deserve to be happy.”

"I think so, too." Rachel agrees, but instead of letting the moment get too serious, she throws her father a grin and nods toward the backyard. "So go mow the lawn so she can have a good ogle. I'll clean up from breakfast before I go."

Frankie snorts, aware that her knowledge of that meant she had been eavesdropping, but he doesn’t mind it. “Thanks,” he tosses her his own grin and pushes back from the table to at least clear his plate. “Plus, it’ll be good for her not to have to do the grass.”

******

“I don’t think you will be less than a mama to her.” He hums as he transfers the baby into your arms. “She will only know you as her mother, especially the way you already love her.”

“Sounds like you’re planning on staying.” And while it’s just an observation, your heart leaps up into your throat so you have to swallow it back done just to breathe.

“If that’s what we decide.” He won’t push his way in. Luna yawns and leans her head against your shoulder in a move that makes him smile. “We can talk about it later. She’s sleepy and I need a shower.”

“I’ll put her down for her nap. You go clean up, love.” Honestly? You dread the thought of Frankie leaving again. Even having him leave to go to work will have you in a state of anxiety for a while, even if you’re doing your best to hold it together for the girls’ sakes. Luna needs a steady caregiver and Rachel absolutely does not need to see you anxious or worrying over her father.

“Come talk to me after you get her down?” He asks, knowing it won’t take him long to shower. He would probably be dressed by the time you get her down.

“Absolutely.” Not having to talk over the baby’s head is a good place to start, if nothing else. You lean in when he moves to kiss your cheek again and then part, with Frankie heading to the bathroom and you heading into what is now Luna’s nursery.

Frankie has been trained by the military. He was never an untidy person to start, but an entire career in the Army had taught him how to clean and be efficient in showering. He does take a little more time today, trimming his beard and shaving, wanting to clean up a little more for you.

As predicted, by the time you get Luna settled down for her nap, you hear the shower shut off down the hall. A small stop off in your own room might just be to check your hair and that you haven’t had a bit of bacon stuck in your teeth all morning. Once you’ve decided he’s had enough time to dress and you can’t stall anymore, you grab the baby monitor and go down the hall to knock on his door.

Because of the shaving, Frankie is still wrapped in a towel, secured at his waist. Still, he doesn’t hesitate. “Come in.”

"Luna's down for her uh— her, her nap," you report, only barely stammering when you see Frankie standing by the bed and sighing inwardly at the way your mouth runs dry.

“Good.” He doesn’t smirk, although he wants to. You alternate between staring and looking away in embarrassment.

"It's gonna be hard to talk if I can't look you in the eye." Which is stupid, because it's not like he wasn't the first person in the world you were naked with – but here you are flustered like a teenager all over again.

“Does it bother you?” Frankie asks, looking down. “That I’m not dressed? You knocked on my door.”

"It doesn't bother me." But you do feel the need to clarify, for the sake of the situation. "It's just very distracting."

“Distracting, huh?” Frankie was never more confident than he was with you and since being here, that has started to come back. “Wonder why that is.”

"Because you're handsome, Francisco," you huff, fully amused, and roll your eyes at him for effect.

“And you’re gorgeous, gatita.” He murmurs.

"We should probably have that talk." Instinctively, shutting the door comes with stepping inside, even though it isn't necessary. Maybe it's a leftover reflex from seeking privacy in the apartments where you grew up.

“Okay.” Frankie moves over to the dresser to grab a pair of sweats to slide on under the towel so you won’t be uncomfortable.

"You want to go first?" The only place in the room to sit is on the guest bed, and you perch on the end with your hands under your thighs and nerves jittering out of control.

“You look like you need get things off your chest.” Frankie hums. “You can go first.”

"I'm just...trying to think about what comes next." Your fingers twist in the blanket, making you look even more nervous than you feel. "I make plenty enough to support this family while you get things cleared up with your license. This is a stable home for Luna with actual family to help look after her. "If what you want is to be back together, we're in a very good position to make it work."

“I have my retirement.” Frankie reminds you. “I don’t expect you to support us. I want to take care of you too.” He never wants to take advantage of you. He wants to give you more than he ever takes.

"Do you actually still enjoy flying? Is it something you want to get back to? Or is it what you were doing because you were made to?" It's a fair question, and one you don't ask easily. But you get the feeling that before this, Frankie didn't get a lot of options.

“I love it.” Frankie admits. “I’m fucking good at it, completely in love with it. Why?”

"I wasn't sure if Marie had given you a chance to actually choose what you love to do, instead of just what would make money," you admit. "I was going to offer that you could take your time. Pursue whatever you wanted to, or even be a stay at home Dad for a while if that's something that interests you. I just..." One hand sneaks out from under your thigh and reaches for him as you sit on the bed. "I want you to be happy, baby. Truly happy."

“I—” Frankie’s never thought about being a stay at home dad. “I volunteered for flight school. Being in the air, flying, it’s like second nature to me now.” He tells you, kneeling down in front of you. “But…I wouldn’t mind staying home with Luna.” He admits. “I would be happy with that for a bit. I could fly part time. Spend most of it with her, still get my thrills from flying.”

"I don't want you to do what you feel you have to." That point can't have enough emphasis for you. It really is the backbone of everything you want for his future – that it is a future he chooses for himself out of passion and excitement. "If flying is what you want to do, then find the job that makes you the most excited. That lets you balance and be happy and not run yourself into the ground like I know you've been doing because you're still the same Frankie that I fell in love with when we were just kids."

“What I have to do is to be a good example to Luna, to Rachel.” He tells you. “To give them everything I can and make you happy too.”

"And I have every faith that you'll do that." Just once, you lost your faith in Frankie Morales because of fear. You're not going to let it happen again, when you're finally in a position for both of you to really have everything you've ever wanted.

“Can I kiss you again?” Frankie asks, looking into your eyes.

It's like feeling a light switch flip somewhere in your body, and you light up all over. Including your brightest smile. "I really want you to."

Frankie smiles, huffing out a small laugh as he lunges forward and presses his lips to yours again.

The momentum tips you backward on the bed, laying you out on the bed underneath him and making you reach up to grab his shoulders to steady yourself. It's not a small kiss or a tentative one, but one that blots out the rest of the world, making sure the only thing you can possibly think of is him.

It’s been a long time since he has been so enthusiastic about kissing someone, but this is just like your first time all over again. He’s nervous, excited. Age and experience are the only things keeping his hips from rocking an already hard erection against your stomach as he covers your body with his own.

If anyone was trying to tell the difference between you and Frankie as teenagers and you and Frankie now, they would find the task almost impossible. An all-consuming kiss, wandering grasping hands, and only the barest thread of restraint are all hallmarks of the two of you together. If he had still been wearing that towel it would be gone in an instant, but as it is one of your hands slides all the way down to the waistband of his sweatpants and grips in earnest.

“Fuck.” Drowning in you is where he wants to stay. Barely breathing and pulling himself away to kiss down your neck. Wanting to kiss every inch of you. “I— I got checked out.” He groans against your neck. “Physical. I’m clean.”

The pause that gives you is immediate, freezing under him in embarrassment. “I—I haven’t yet. Since…it’s only been a few days. I have condoms though.” With all the upheaval since ending things with Santiago, getting tested had slipped your mind.

“It’s – Pope’s clean.” He knows his brother in arms. He knows how the man is. He might have been a man whore before, but he doesn’t sleep with multiple women. If he was with you, he was tested and only slept with you. “Whatever makes you comfortable.”

“I—” Maybe its impulsive. Or overly emotional. But when Frankie meets your eyes all you can do is tell him the truth. “I just want to feel you again.”

Frankie groans and nods, nudging his nose against yours and kissing you again. “I want that too.” He insists, pulling away to start peeling your clothes off of you as efficiently as possible.

The pair of leggings and light dress you had reached for this morning in an effort for minimal fuss might as well be nothing at all in the face of Frankie’s determination. The thin cotton dress is up over your head in no time and the leggings peel off of you with all the difficulty of a two-piece puzzle. “I didn’t expect this…” you admit quietly, telling him I’m not so many words that you would have at least picked a matching bra and panties set this morning if you thought there was a possibility he would see them.

“Neither did I,” his smooth cheek would suggest otherwise, but he grins and leans down to kiss down your chest. “But I don’t care about panties, hair, or anything else. I just want you.”

It’s useless that he felt the need to put on pants, because now you’re pushing them off his hips with both hands and biting back a groan at the softness of him. He’s filled out, because of course he has, and the scars from his missions echo your stretch marks in all the years that have been lost between you.

“Gatita…” Your nickname comes out like a prayer, his lips worshipping every inch of your skin.

“Bet it’s been a while since you’ve groaned that name.” It’s certainly been long enough since you heard it like that, a fact that shivers through you with increasing excitement.

“Not true.” He admits with a small smirk as he looks up at you. “You were still my favorite jerk off memory.”

“Still moaning my name while you get yourself off?” Someone that’s simultaneously the sweetest and filthiest thing you’ve heard in ages and you open your legs wider to let him rest in that valley between your thighs. “Let’s see if we can give you something new to think about.”

He gives another filthy groan, aware that things have changed, but he doesn’t care. Your stretch marks are gorgeous to him, you gave birth to his child. Every mark is special. You are just as sexy to him as you were when you both were teenagers. He pulls your bra down and wraps his lips around one nipple as he slides his fingers between your folds to find your clit.

“Fuck, Frankie!” Careful not to be too loud since Luna is napping down the hall, you bite back letting a real shout out and it turns into more of a growl. Your hands are on him instantly, grasping at his shoulders, curling in his hair, and holding him in tight against you as your hips snap up to seek out his thick fingers.

He chuckles darkly, very pleased to find that you are reactive and vocal in your older years. Keeping you quiet had been a favorite game of his.

It isn’t really that different from when you were young. The desire is there as clear as day, coursing through you and sparking with every touch. Every kiss is endlessly deep, like you hold the key to each other’s lives somewhere inside yourselves and the hunt for that missing piece is as deliberate as it is lazy.

Fingers circle your throbbing sex, slicking themselves up with the arousal that is pouring out of you before he dips them inside. Remembering how you loved to be fingered when you were younger, even letting him do it on the subway under a jacket.

If it were anyone else, you might be embarrassed at how thoroughly dripping you are for him already. But Frankie was the first to feel how wet you get from something as simple as being kissed just right, and the hope that is making your pulse beat wildly out of time right now is that he will also be the last. The bookends of your lives might always have been meant to be each other.

The key to making your legs shake and your pussy clench around him is to start slowly. Pushing two fingers deep and curling them up as your walls stretch around him. Groaning at your nipple and flicking his tongue over the stiff peak.

For as well as he remembers your body, it might as well be yesterday that he last touched you and not twenty-five years ago. Your back bows and you moan again, fingernails scraping against his scalp in the way that always makes him growl gorgeously.

“Shit.” Frankie hisses in pleasure, pulling his fingers back and enjoying the sucking sound that they make in your sopping wet pussy. Only to press his thumb to your clit and plunge them back deep again.

The whines and whimpers he pulls from you are as deliberate as any musician playing their instrument in an orchestra. He still plays you expertly. Like muscle memory. He is the one who taught you so much of what brings you pleasure, and you did the same for him. It's all you can do in this moment to get your mind into high gear like the rest of your body, and reach down with one hand and wrap your fingers around his cock.

"Fuck." He groans, rocking his hips up towards the long-wanted touch of your hands. "You always touch me— fuck," he moans your name. "You touch me like no one else ever has."

"Always make me feel so good, baby," you pant out, body twisting every second to be able to be as close to him as possible. "Always want to return the favor."

"You will." He promises. "Let me make you feel good."

"You always do." The promise is absolute, because he really always knows how to make you feel better than anything else ever could.

His fingers continue to pump into you, working you higher and higher as every sensitive nerve ending in your pussy is set on fire by his touch. The tell-tale sign is when your legs begin to shake, thighs tightening and pussy clenching around his fingers. The long strokes of your hand over his cock stutter as pleasure starts to short-circuit your mind, making you forget everything except how good you feel. Frankie has always been good with his hands, but he's definitely learned a few tricks over the years.

Your pussy clenches around his fingers like a vice and he keeps pumping them into you. Wanting to wring you of every second of pleasure you will give him. The quiet cry of his name is like a shot of lightning through his system. "Good girl, fuck gatita. You're so good for me."

It's not you who is being good right now, but Frankie who is treating you so well that when you cry out in pleasure there are actual tears in your eyes. The peak of that pleasure that he's been building you up to is so high that you almost get the sensation of falling when your body finally tenses, shaking you apart at the seams so that the only part of you that hangs on as you start to cum are the parts of you that he has claimed as his own.

His lips still skim over your body as he works you through it. Whispering praises into your skin in Spanish as he watches your face in awe. Struck by how beautiful you are, crushed that he has been so stupid as to walk away so long ago. Determine to make up for lost time.

Whimpering when the aftershocks leave you limp underneath him, both of your hands urge Frankie back up your body, needing to kiss him more than you need air in this moment.

He hums proudly as he shuffles up, kissing you lazily with a grin curving his lips. “Sounds like you just came, gatita.” He teases quietly.

“You’re a menace, Frankie Morales.” The observation is as true now was it was twenty-five years ago.

"Your menace." He adds, smirking slightly as he kisses you again. It sounds amazing, being yours again. He's always been yours in his heart, but now...it's a second chance for both of you.

“I love you, baby.” Another kiss for him is gentler this time. His face is full of promises and his eyes shine bright in the early afternoon light that streams in through his windows.

"I love you." He vows softly, reaching up and caressing your cheek. "I want to make love to you."

“Please.” It might sound like begging, and maybe it is, but it’s been far too long since the last time you laid in this man’s arms and right now you don’t want to be anywhere else.

Every touch is calculated, timed. Meant to show you how much he is cherishing you and this moment means the world to him. He kisses your lips and whispers his love for you once again as he shifts and lines up with your welcoming entrance.

Every stitch of clothing between you is gone along with your inhibitions. Nothing to interrupt you as long as Luna stays asleep and you are definitely not going to do anything to wake up that angel. You'll swallow down every cry or pour it into kissing Frankie and just basking in the beauty of having him back in this moment.

"I love you, gatita." They were the same words that he had whispered to you when he had pushed inside you the first time, repeated now as he slowly starts to sink into you. Watching every micro expression you make as he feels like he is coming home.

“I love you s—so much.” You’ve never been overtly emotional about sex. Not really. You weren’t the kind of girl who cried at the emotional moment of losing your virginity or got choked up over a loving vow made in the heat of the moment. But being so connected with Frankie again almost has you in tears at the sheer rightness of this moment.

Frankie’s arms slide under you, pulling you close as he starts to pull his hips back. Not wanting there to be an inch of space between you when there doesn’t have to be. “It’s okay, I’ve got you.” He whispers. “Not letting you go again.”

The promise rolls through you with such seriousness that you cling to him a little more tightly. “Never going to let you go.” When his hips tilt forward again, filling you and pressing your bodies together just that much tighter, you could swear you feel one of the cracks in your heart knit back together.

His own heart doesn’t ache anymore, the missing piece that has been gaping in his chest is returned to him. Slotted right back into place perfectly and making him whole. Kissing you again as age and emotions make this time last much longer than your first together.

Moans and praises stay stifled not because of a small apartment with family nearby, not because of friends or because the moment is stolen or illicit, but because you’re drowning in kissing each other the entire time. Every movement is fluid, moving one into the other so it is impossible to tell where you end and he begins, all that matters is that you’re not letting go. Nothing else matters if it isn’t something you can do together — because you’ll never be apart again.

Nothing has ever been as magical as this moment, beyond the first moment he held Luna after she was just born. Nothing can compare to the utter tranquility in his soul, the quiet in his mind as he gives and takes from you in equal parts.

Who knows how long you stay in that bed, turning over each other, clinging and moaning low into drawn out kisses. Who knows how long you stay there or how many times you change positions, keeping each other as close as possible while you work through the bliss of reunion up to the precipice of pleasure. By the time his hips start to stutter and the coil of orgasm starts to tug at the pit of your stomach, you’re on top of him — riding him even as you pour your heart into sobbing praise.

Looking up at you in wonder, all he can do is watch as you splinter yourself into pieces on top of him. Mixing and mingling with him until he is tugging you back close and devouring your mouth in another kiss. Breathing his amazement into you.

You shatter together, finding that remarkable peak of pleasure all at once, and holding tight to each other as you ride out the aftershocks as one.

It goes on forever. Or at least it seems too. Both of you drifting down together until you are collapsed against his chest and breathless. Frankie aching with the first good pain he’s felt in such a long time.

“I love you, baby.” This is it. This is home. The closest to paradise you have ever been or will ever be is in this man’s arms and you’re not going to let another second of your life pass without him being a part of it.

“I love you too, gatita.” He wraps an arm around you and strokes your bare back softly. “I had a thought today, one that’s horrible, but it’s true.” You hum, lifting up to your elbow to look at him curiously. “I wished that you were Luna’s mother. That she was our second baby together.” He chuckles. “Or that late in life ‘whoops’.”

“You never know,” you hum softly, cradled on his chest with your knees still bracketing his hips. If you never move again, you’ll be only too happy to be this close to him. “I still have a couple of years in me as far as baby making goes. Only a few, but they’re still there. And Luna…Frankie, I already love her. It doesn’t matter that I didn’t give birth to her myself.”

His brow lifts in surprise. “Would you really want that?” He asks seriously. “Another baby? With me?”

“I don’t know if it’s possible or safe,” you remind him gently, lifting your head to kiss him again. “But what if I made an appointment with my doctor to get checked out? Let her tell us if it’s a bad idea before we get our hearts set on it?”

“Whatever you want.” Frankie agrees. “I’m clean.” He promises you softly. “I’m never touching any of that shit ever again.” He told you about the coke and you had taken it surprisingly well, but he wants to remind you that he’s serious.

"I know, love." It was a long and twisted road that led him to that, and Marie was the one driving the proverbial car, so you know it's behind him for sure. But you also know Rachel would never forgive him if he relapsed and something happened to little Luna, and he has the love of two daughters hanging in the balance now. "I also know, whatever happens, I love you and I'm going to be right here at your side."

“My license is going to be reinstated.” He whispers quietly. “One of the board members told me. It’s not official yet, but he….wanted to let me know.”

"Honey that's— that's fantastic." You dive in to kiss him again before reluctantly sliding off of him, letting yourself be tucked into his side instead. "We're gonna make it work this time, Frankie. Every bit of it."

“Even if I don’t fly right away, I have my retirement. My disability.” He promises. “I can help you. I need to help you.”

"We'll make up a budget, and we'll make sure everyone is contributing to the house somehow." The grin playing at your lips is soft, and you brush some hair out of his eyes. "Luna can contribute with giggles. The adults will take care of the rest."

“She also blows great raspberries.” He jokes, still slowly caressing your back and hoping this moment never ends.

As if the mention of her name was enough, the sounds of movement from over the baby monitor are nondescript for a minute or so before the soft cooing of a wakening baby turns to the blustering that comes before cries. "Well..." you huff a small laugh and lift yourself up on your elbow. "At least she let us finish."

Frankie laughs and taps your hip. “I’ll get her.” He promises.

"I'm gonna clean up and then I'll meet you downstairs?" The domesticity of the whole thing makes you smile, and you lay back on the pillow again to admire him as he hauls himself out of bed to pull on his boxers and grabs the baby monitor.

Frankie coos when he opens the door, instantly moving over to the crib to get Luna out. “It’s okay, baby girl. Daddy’s gotcha.”

It is okay. Life may not be perfect yet but the promise of it is there. He has you back, he has both of his daughters, and he’s going to make it work this time. You all are. As a family.

______

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My Masterlist!

[rubydubydoo122]

As much as I hate to say it, and as much as I love Jason ToddI'm gonna need DC to kill him again, and keep him dead this time.

Now before you come at me, let me explain why I think this. Jason Todd is a character that while alive will always be connected to Gotham, and because of his differing morals with Batman, he will always be in a cycle of conflict with him. We saw it in UTRH, we saw it in RHATO, we saw it in Gotham Wars. Because Jason isn't a villain (I feel like in UTRH he was an anti-hero, and any actions that didn't align with the morals he set during that time is because he was villainized by Batman) Bruce's actions feel overtly brutal (batarang to the neck, beating him so har his helmet broke, chemically altering him to feel fear) especially since it's towards his SON the one he claims to have mourned. It's a vicious cycle that isn't fair to Jason, and it's major character assassination of Bruce. It's overdone and I am sick and tired of it, but I do not see either characters backing down from their moral stances.

Now you might be thinking, just because Bruce and Jason don't get along doesn't mean they can't make up-- they've tried. Multiple time. Every time Jason and Bruce take a step in the direction of being close to each other again, Bruce becomes a control freak and abuses Jason like he's his own personal punching bag, and there's only so many times someone can forgive someone before enough is enough.

But I still haven't explained why specifically I think Jason should die again. And it's because of two reasons. Jason deserves peace, and as long as he's a ghost walking on earth, he won't be able to get that. Also because it would make Great Angst. We all know Bruce would break if he lost Jason again. He's going to push everyone away, and if you're going to have Bruce push everyone away, give him consequences for his actions.but we saw how protective Dick got during Gotham Wars. Just imagine Dick walking up towards Bruce and saying, "It might've been my fault last time for not picking up his calls, but this time, you can't deny that this, is all your fault." "How dare you! He was my son!" "You lost him once, and when he came back you treated him worse than any of the loonies in Arkham. You don't miss him at all. You only feel guilty because of your goddamned savior complex. You only treat him like your son when he's dead."

and while we're at it, maybe Tim can have a complete crisis. He had to pick up the pieces of Bruce in the aftermath of Jason's death last time, and look where that got him. All of his friends and family died. He was never truly recognized for guiding Bruce out of the dark, and we all know that Tim is one inconvenience from killing a bitch. Maybe this is it. I actually think it would be hilarious for Tim to take up the Red Hood mantle, Only to screw with Bruce. Because he knows that's what Jason would've wanted.

Have Damian afraid of what Bruce has become in guilt. Have Damians castle of worship for his father come tumbling down, because Damian always knew his father loved all of the previous Robins more than him, and if his father no longer wanted them, what was stopping Bruce from sending him back to the League.

Like DC if you're going to use Jason as a catalyst for an event, kill him off again. last time it was on a whim. This time, do it on purpose. This time, give his death a purpose. This time, make sure his death changes something, because god, Bruce has fucked up so much.

[inspector-constable]

Aziraphale and the Gray Area: Why is he like that though

Good omens season 2 spoilers ahead

One of the things religious trauma gave me is a strong sense of right vs. wrong. The idea that there is always a right way to do things or a right course of action, and to not do things that way is simply wrong. This is more than just feeling afraid of being punished for doing the wrong thing; it feels like part of my identity. I think of myself as a good person, so I want to do good things and I want to do the right thing. If I choose to do the wrong thing, I lose myself and I lose what I value in myself. Sometimes it’s a good thing to feel like this, it’s what led me away from a religion that preached hate. Sometimes it’s not such a good thing, because I can hurt people by trying to do the right thing, or by trying to put my personal sense of morals onto other peoples’ situations. I have been picking through my beliefs for over a decade trying to confront and dismantle the harmful ones. It’s a painful process and it takes a long, long time.

How much longer must it take for a literal angel, a servant of God? We have the pleasure of seeing this process in Aziraphale through the ages, and it’s a lot slower than fans want it to be. I think people see Aziraphale in his moments in the gray area - lying, disobeying orders, being a bastard, enjoying human food, and loving and trusting a demon - and they think that he must be just fine with being in the middle: mostly right, a bit wrong, very human. But that characterization oversimplifies and misses Aziraphale’s true nature.

The sense of justice and good vs. evil is central to who Aziraphale is. He is not just another angel following commands; he is doing what he truly thinks is right no matter what the consequences may be. He ends up being quite a bit more good and loving than any of the other angels we meet, because he isn’t okay with doing what he knows is wrong. He knows it innately, but also he knows it because of what he was taught. When you’re taught that hate and violence and greed is wrong, but then you see hate and violence and greed being perpetuated by your teachers, you start to wonder where that dividing line really is.

That’s where the gray area comes in. When Aziraphale gives away his sword, he’s aware it’s not technically the right thing to do, but decides it is the actual right thing to do to protect Eve and Adam and their child. Same as when he lies to the angels about Job’s children, only this time instead of fudging the truth and avoiding the confrontation, he has to make a direct choice to do something that is technically wrong - lying - in order to avoid doing something he really, really knows is Wrong - murder. In this case, he’s not okay with lying despite it being wrong, he’s okay with lying because it is the right thing to do. It still causes a large amount of internal conflict when he thinks he will be sent to Hell for disobeying, but that fear of punishment didn’t stop him from doing what he thought was good.

For Aziraphale, the gray area is not about being a little bit evil, it’s about fudging the Rules and disobeying authority in order to remain completely good. Since Crowley is in the gray area with him, surely Crowley must be in the same boat of wanting to do the Right thing. Throughout thousands of years of history Aziraphale never stops arguing the side of Good, trying to convince Crowley to do the right thing. Sometimes he finds that Crowley was actually right all along, and then Aziraphale can feel safe to align himself with whatever the demon is doing. Sometimes Aziraphale even tries to convince Heaven to do the right thing with him. During Armageddon, Aziraphale avoids telling Crowley the truth because he thinks it would be better to get Heaven to stop doing the wrong thing. And he’s right, a lot of problems would be solved and life would be easier if Heaven would listen to Aziraphale and stop inflicting their harmful views on the world. 

It would be nice if Aziraphale would realize, at the end of the first season, that Heaven is not interested in being good or even being right; they just want to win. Aziraphale is too naive and pure to believe that of Heaven. After everything, he still wants to be an angel, and he still wants to be part of a Heaven that is doing good. What he did at the end of season 2 is not at all out of character for him. It makes perfect sense that he would want to take the opportunity to change Heaven for the better. Anyone can see what a delightful place it would be with Aziraphale making the decisions. Angels could drink hot chocolate and stack books in their offices or pop down to Earth to go to the theater. Humans could live without worrying about Armageddon or the Great Plan or having their lives destroyed over a bet. And demons (or at least one specific one) who were good and loving could be forgiven and become angels again so they don’t have to be forced to carry out evil acts and always be looking over their shoulders. 

Aziraphale didn’t do what he did because he doesn’t accept or love who Crowley is. He just genuinely believes that Crowley is still an angel deep down and that Heaven is where he belongs, where he could be the most happy. A better Heaven, where Crowley could create stars to last millions of years and put anything he wanted in the suggestion box. Aziraphale wanted to create a life for them to be together without any more worry of secret meetings, gray areas, and war. When Crowley rejected that life, it broke Aziraphale’s view of Crowley and his goodness. As ridiculous as it sounds, Aziraphale never expected that Crowley wouldn’t jump at the chance to be an angel with him again, and now his perception of their relationship is shaken. 

Ultimately, Aziraphale can’t be so selfish as to choose to run away with the being he loves, when he knows he can do so much more good if he returns to Heaven. And so in trying to do the right thing for everyone, Aziraphale does the wrong thing for Crowley and himself. This is what is so hard about Aziraphale’s gray area; it cuts both ways. He has so much learning and unpacking to do, and I’m afraid he’s going to find that he will have much less power to change Heaven than he thought. All we can do is beg for a third season and then Wait and See.

[clean-casual-analysis]

When the villain is a philosophy

When you think of the word antagonist, the first thing that comes to mind is a villain. This is completely natural, given that stories of good vs evil tend to follow a heroic protagonist fighting against an evil antagonist. But once you get into the definition of the word, a person who actively opposes or is hostile to someone or something, moral alignment doesn’t dictate whether a character should be a protagonist or an antagonist. The most recognizable examples of this would be the likes of Invader Zim and Megamind, characters that are villainous in nature but are still the protagonists of their respective stories.

But villain protagonists and hero antagonists aren’t what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about the antagonists that aren’t entirely focused on, at least in the traditional sense. Antagonists that, despite being the source of conflict in the narrative, don’t actually show up a lot of the time. These antagonists, while characters in their own right, are more symbolic in nature. The protagonists of these stories aren’t just trying to defeat the antagonists, but the rotten philosophies that these antagonists have. The beliefs that push the antagonists to do their villainous acts.

White Diamond: Uniformity and the Status Quo

In the entirety of the original Steven Universe series, not counting the movie or SU Future, White Diamond appears in three episodes out of one hundred and sixty episodes. (Two if we don’t count White Pearl/Volleyball) That’s not even one percent of the series. In most series involving a good vs evil plot line, we usually switch perspectives between our heroes and villains to understand how they’re reacting to the events of the story. But SU is entirely told from Steven’s perspective. The audience only gets new information about gems, homeworld, Rose Quartz, etcetera, when Steven himself learns it. Because of this perspective, we don’t see the final antagonist of the series until the very end of the show.

But even though White Diamond is not present throughout the majority of the show, her homeworld subordinates and beliefs fill in the place of the hurdles that the protagonists must pass. Think about what the show is about and what lessons it teaches. Relationships are intricate and need mutual respect, being proud of who and what you are, and (most importantly) societal roles do not define you. The development of the main characters each involve acceptance of the self and bucking of what’s expected of them. Pearl fully moving on from Rose, Garnet improving her self-love, Amethyst fully accepting herself for what she is, Peridot’s disillusionment with Homeworld and growing appreciation for earth, Connie disobeying her mother’s strict rules, Steven slowly becoming someone better than even his own mother, I could go on. It’s honestly surprising, looking back, how most of the characters’ core issues stem from the lack of self-assurance and how homeworld views their flaws.

White Diamond and her Homeworld regime ultimately represent how systems put limits and stigma onto people for the sake of uniformity. The consequence of living inside your own head. A fusion cannot happen between two different gems, Pearls must be servants, Quartz gems must be big and strong, and Diamonds must be the perfect leaders. Why? Because that’s just what gems do. Because that’s how the system works. Homeworld’s status quo is one of creating an ever-expanding empire at the cost of independence, self-expression, unique lifeforms, and healthy relationships. The system can’t be wrong, White Diamond can’t be flawed, it’s how things have always been so why change what isn’t broken.

Sauron: Dominance and Corruption

While he has more screen presence and is a much more a significant part of the story of Lord of the Rings than White Diamond is to SU, the dark lord Sauron is similarly one small part of a larger tale. Heck, he doesn’t even have dialogue in the book trilogy. Also, like White Diamond, Sauron is best represented by his many underlings. Ruthless orcs with crude but effective weaponry, colossal beasts to crush his enemies underfoot, massive armies dedicated to the dark lord’s cause of dominating all life in Midde Earth. But what’s most notable about Sauron isn’t the great power he possesses or the armies he commands, it’s the way he corrupts and deceives those that stand against him.

The betrayal of Saruman the White, the nine Nazgûl once being great kings of men who were turned into terrible ringwraiths, and most notoriously, the enticing power of the one ring. Boromir, believing that Gondor can use this evil weapon for good. Smeagol, utterly degraded into a deceitful cave dwelling throttler named Gollum. Frodo, forced to carry a heavy burden that weighs him down both physically and mentally. To Sauron, the corruption of good is a weapon he wields with unmatched lethality.

The insidious nature of his villainy is what makes Sauron the great representative of dominance and corruption that he is. The promises of more enticing good people to do evil for the “right” reasons and the ruthless conquest for dominion over all is all too real an evil to ignore.

The Martians: Colonialism and Warfare

I debated with myself on whether or not the martians from War of the Worlds should be included here. Unlike Sauron or White Diamond, the martians are clear and present throughout the story. On the other hand, there isn’t a named martian general or a big bad that’s shown to lead the alien invaders into combat. In the end, the fact that the martians are made to purely represent the darkest parts of humanity outweighs the secondary theme of this essay.

One of, if not THE first alien invasion story, War of the Worlds messaging is clear and easy to understand. The tentacled beings from Mars are coldly intelligent, remorseless, and regard our world with envious eyes. They use human blood as sustenance when they aren’t vaporizing us by the hundreds, their tripods are horrific machines of mass destruction, and their invasion is one of slaughter and destruction. But the book is quick to remind us that humanity isn’t so morally innocent compared to the martians. The consumption of our blood seems horrific, but humans have also killed animals and each other for food and resources. Their tripods are colossal and terrifying, but humanity has made countless destructive war machines. The invaders are dead set on wiping out humanity, but humanity not only brought extinction to animals like the dodo bird but to entire groups of our own kind. The martians are not simply an alien invasion to fight back against, it’s a cautious look into our worst future. A humanity that prioritizes ruthless colonization and military might is a humanity doomed to be parasitic and heartless.

War of the Worlds also takes a critical view towards solving problems through warfare. Violence is sometimes needed to fight evil, but that does make violence a good thing. The action and battles in War of the Worlds are not thrilling or glorious, they are horrific and even bumbling to an extent. Much like the early British imperials that they represent, the martians are arrogant and only win because they have the better technology. Even the destruction of a tripod has severe consequences, a flaming wreckage falling into a lake and boiling the humans hiding there alive. There is nothing pride or goodness to found in destruction and death. Warfare and violence should be the last resort of those trying to survive, yet humanity and martians brandish their weapons without care or empathy for those beneath them.

The Truth, In-Fighting, and the Seemingly Insignificant

These antagonists all represent a morally dangerous part of humanity. The stubborn refusal to change a flawed status quo, the desire to dominate and corrupt those who don’t, needless conquest and bloody war. But despite all their power and influence, these philosophies that the villains believe in fail them in the end.

For White Diamond, her ultimate failure stems from the mortal enemy of all tyrannical systems: the truth. In the last episode of Steven Universe, White Diamond removes the gemstone from our protagonist’s body. Believing that the mischievous Pink Diamond is merely hiding in this human body, White seeks to end this silly game once and for all. But once the gemstone is removed, it does form into Pink Diamond or even Rose Quartz. It forms a bright pink Steven. In the final act of Change Your Mind, White Diamond is faced with reality and all its implications. This gemstone is Steven, it’s always been Steven. This half human is not the irrational or childish person, it’s White. The leader of Homeworld, the one who’s supposed to know all and make things better, is wrong. But in order to do that, she needs to leave her own head. One of the hardest things for a person to do is admit when they’re wrong, that their foundational beliefs holding up a status quo is deeply flawed and objectively false. But accepting that you were wrong, learning from and fixing your mistakes, and becoming something better than what you were before is the greatest reward anyone genuinely looking for redemption can ask for.

For Sauron, his victory over Middle Earth comes so close. Minas Tirith has been ravaged, the army of man outside the black gates are crumbling before his might, and the ring bearer has been corrupted. However, just when all hope is burned to ash, something unexpected happens. Gollum, the epitome of the corruptive power that the one ring possesses, attacks Frodo to get back his precious. Whether it’s through struggling with Frodo like in the movie or not paying attention like in the book, Gollum falls into the fires of Mount Doom with the ring in tow. In the movies, we’re told that the eye of Sauron can pierce through cloud and stone. Because of this detail, I personally wonder what was going through the dark lord’s mind as he watched Gollum plummet to his death. The one ring’s defense, Sauron’s greatest strength, corrupting others into fighting amongst each other, was what led to his ultimate downfall. This is not the first time something like this has happened. Think back to the orcs fighting amongst themselves, or when Wormtongue stabs Saruman in the back. Not to mention that the mercy of both Frodo and Bilbo is what led to Gollum reaching Mount Doom in the first place. Even with all his armies and power, Sauron underestimated the petty infighting amongst his followers and the little acts of kindness of his enemies. Even when the forces of darkness seemingly succeed, all they’ll have left is each other to destroy. As Frodo himself said in the Two Towers book, they can’t conquer forever.

For the martians, their demise comes outwardly from nowhere. Their Tripods fall silent and they all die due to sickness. The book states that the martians either never encountered bacteria like earth’s or they had wiped out all disease on Mars. In both scenarios, the martian’s belief in their untouchable superiority over earth led their death. As soon as their invasion started, they were doomed. War of the Worlds isn’t just a hard look at what humanity could become, but also a love letter to all types of life. Bacteria, the seemingly most insignificant part of our world, is our savior here. It is so, so easy to despise germs and how they make mankind ill. But they also decompose dead flesh, helps the human body digest food, and are just as vital to our world as so many other creatures’ humanity takes for granted. All forms of life has a place in this world and to undervalue, let alone actively want to eliminate, all of it is foolhardy and black-hearted.

It’s how these stories come to an end is why I’m attracted to the idea of villains representing abhorrent philosophies. They show the inherent flaws of such morally bankrupt ideas and how their failures are inevitable. The desire for uniformity and belief that your status quo is flawless cannot stand up to the truth of the situation. Great and powerful conquerors seeking to corrupt will find themselves destroying each other when there is nothing left to dominate, while small acts of generosity and sympathy keep their opponents afloat. Arrogant war lords with their mighty machines will crumble to the things they deem to be insignificant.

[livingdiarrhea]

Aziraphale is so INFURIATING because if I had a friend who ended genuine arguements with “I forgive you” instead of…apologizing, or talking??? I would go insane.

It’s so interesting to me, the dynamic between Aziraphale and Crowley, because Aziraphale sees himself as inherently better than Crowley, but also meaning he should be held to higher standards. He adores Crowley, of course, but he s still clearly sees himself as inherently better and more moral, solely because he’s an angel, while Crowley sees the two of them as more or less equals, it’s just that he recognizes that Aziraphale is still sort of a brainwashed (not literally, like cult-wise) from heaven. (Crowley’s side is is sort of one I relate to). There’s always this unspoken tension between them and their opinions of each other, and it’s just *so* interesting. They’ll address it briefly, and drop it again. Even when they make up, they don’t actually talk about this issue. Crowley will try to bring it up, Aziraphale doesn’t respond, Crowley drops it.

Aziraphale loves his moral standards, he loves being pure, he loves being good, he needs to do exactly what god says (and in season 1, “god” included more of the angels as well, but his ideals do loosen quite a bit after the angels act like assholes). However, being with Crowley repeatedly challenges his moral standards in every single way. It’s why he’s usually the one who distances first, or makes a remark to purposefully distance Crowley and place himself above. From vibes alone, his remarks aren’t even intended to make Crowley feel inferior, it’s just him regurgitating his moral code hntil Crowley storms off so Aziraphale can avoid an actual counterargument to his points (for example: the “we aren’t even friends, I don’t even like you” is very very obviously a lie. And not even that hurtful of one, because it’s so obvious, it’s just annoying. I was screaming at my phone to shut up during this moment.)

This conflict of ideals is also why he’s so elated to give Crowley the opportunity to come to Heaven. To him, the only flaw with Crowley was that he wasn’t an angel. This seemed like the perfect solution, to have the guy he wants, while still being in alignment with his values. Obviously, Crowley’s “rebellious” nature is part of him, it’s a core part of him, but one Aziraphale doesn’t want to accept. That’s ultimately what the downfall of this idea was (also again; the angels?? HUGE assholes to both of them).

It mirrors the experience of being relatively non religious and having a very religious friend/lover. Which might have been the entire point (I have no media literacy). The main difference is that Aziraphale and Crowley just have set “this is good” , “this is bad” and “this is my side” already established, so it’s less taboo for Aziraphale to belittle Crowley’s demon kind (again, the idea that ‘he is better’) and Crowley to make a remark about angels (which tends to come off less condescending). Generally, this sort of dynamic wouldn’t be very acceptable in many places.

Anyway, personally, Aziraphale, is CONSISTENTLY super infuriating, but he’s charming, he grows on you, like a fungus. He’s more annoying on the show, but also more endearing, Michael Sheen’s smile could melt a heart of coal. He’s also just very interesting as a character, and his dynamics and situation surrounding him and Crowley. I really love him. And I hate him. He’s so complex, I’d even argue out of everyone (including Crowley) he’s the most complex character.

[loonyoz]

I found these dialogue options interesting:

Preamble: Ive been slowly working my way through a Wyll playthrough bc I feel like I dont understand his character well and I want to. To refresh peoples memories, this is a screenshot from Act 1 in the alchemists basement.

~~~

The options to respond are wanting forgiveness and familial love, anger and a desire for revenge, and admiration from people for his work as the Blade of Frontiers. I feel like all three of these have a mix of honesty and half-truth in them. But I was very shocked by the honesty and emotion of the first two responses. I want to talk about all of them so I'll go through each response below the cut.

1. "I would see my father - his arms extended in forgiveness."

I think he's voiced something similar before and alluded to a conflict with his father, but the tone of this feels different. This isn't about coming back as a hero, this isn't about returning to nobility, its wanting comfort and kindness from his father. Something I don't think he's ever voiced, and something he's probably given up asking for. I think that because his relationship with his father is complicated, his emotions about it are too. Yes he wants forgiveness, but perhaps he also knows that his father ought to be the one asking for forgiveness from Wyll. I think Wyll feels the type of love and anger that go hand in hand in complicated relationships. Hence why I say this response has half-truths in it.

2. "I'd see Mizora, cowering before me and begging my mercy."

This response was the one I was most surprised by. Generally, when Wyll gets angry its a righteous but contained sort of anger. The wording of this feels a lot more intense. I don't think its something he'd admit out loud, but otherwise I like it. I think its very human and fair to feel such anger towards your abuser. I think if Wyll was speaking with his usual charisma and diplomacy or speaking as the Blade, this sentiment would sound very different. This little glimpse of anger makes me curious and want to see more of Wyll's unfiltered emotions. If given the option to torment Mizora, he might be sorely tempted to, but I think he would choose a swift death for her. It does not align with his morals to do otherwise, and I don't think cruelty is something that comes naturally to him.

3. "I'd see droves of admirers, gathered to hail the Blade of Frontiers"

For the most part I think this response is the funniest and also the least personal. His Blade persona has quite a lot of bard energy and I love that. But always repeated in my head is Theo Solomon saying that Wyll wants to be needed. So I feel that it's not simply a wish for attention and compliments, but a wish for a sign that the work he does as the Blade is appreciated. The people need someone to protect them, and they know the Blade can do that for them.

~~~

Let me know what you guys think! I won't be bothered if you completely disagree with my take lol :)

[graysoncritic]

A (Negative) Review of Tom Taylor's Nightwing Run - What Went Wrong? Melinda Lin Grayson

Introduction Who is Dick Grayson? What Went Wrong? Dick's Characterization What Went Wrong? Barbara Gordon What Went Wrong? Bludhaven (Part 1, Part 2) What Went Wrong? Melinda Lin Grayson What Went Wrong? Bea Bennett What Went Wrong? Villains Conclusion Bibliography

Things do not get any better when it comes to Dick’s relationship to Melinda.

As I believe it is important to own up to one’s biases, I’ll begin by admitting that I dislike secret-sibling tropes. However, the problem present in Melinda’s character does not revolve around the concept of her existence, but rather in the fact that her status as Dick’s sister adds nothing to the story. Taylor does not take advantage of her existence to add to Dick’s backstory, complicate his views of his parents, to add conflict to the plot, or to offer on-screen character and relationship development. In failing to have his original character live up to her full potential, Taylor reduces her to a deus-ex-machina who only appears to either save Dick at the right time, or to put him in danger at the right moment.

That is why in execution, Melinda’s existence is irrelevant. While I would never want John Grayson to be cheater and I do not want John and Mary's marriage to be tarnished, that route would have offered conflict, for it forces Dick to grapple with the reality that parents were not the infallible individuals he remembers.

Instead, Melinda is very conveniently conceived during the span of time between John and Mary becoming an acrobatic duo and them getting together. They were already in love, so Dick does not have to worry about Melinda's mom being John's long lost lover and Mary having been a rebound. Yet, because John and Mary were not yet together, John remains a good person as he was not unfaithful. Melinda's mom doesn't resent Mary for ending up with John while she was stuck in an abusive relationship. Melinda doesn’t resent Dick for having known their father while she lived with Zucco. Neither does she feel any love towards Zucco or seeks his approval — which would have been another interesting and understandable source of conflict. After all, though he was an awful man, husband, and father, for a good part of Melinda’s life, he was the only father figure she had, and it is very common for children who were raised by an abusive guardian to still desire their affection.

(Taylor, Tom, writer. Redondo, Bruno, illustrator. Leaping into the Light Part Five. Nightwing: Rebirth. 82, e-book ed. DC Comics, 2021. pp 14)

The way in which Taylor quickly and neatly wraps up this story does little to add to either Melinda or Dick’s character. Furthermore, Dick readily believes Melinda and Meilin when he is told their story. He does not know them, yet he simply accepts their words without requiring any evidence, without asking many questions, and without following it up with an investigation. 

Neither do we see him experience denial or any other form of human emotions to such a monumental discovery. In #83, when Dick returns to his apartment, he tells Babs “You heard? I have a sister. And even better… There’s a chance she’s not evil,” to which she replies  “I hear. You need to talk about it?” Rather than replying, or, indeed, talking about how he feels about this revelation, Dick instead passes out. As readers we never get to see if said conversation happened (which would also develop Dick and Babs’ relations), and so we never get to see Dick grapple with this life changing revelation..

(Taylor, Tom, writer. Redondo, Bruno, illustrator. Leaping into the Light Part Six. Nightwing: Rebirth. 83, e-book ed. DC Comics, 2021. pp 12)

Conveniently, Melinda’s morals and her approaches to solution also perfectly align with Dick’s own. Not only is she not the bad guy Dick originally thought she was, but she is actively working against those Dick wishes to stop. And, again, Dick takes her word for it without a second thought. Dick appears skeptical for a mere second before Melinda gives him an out by asking if he has “difficulty believing someone could have a double life.” 

(Taylor, Tom, writer. Redondo, Bruno, illustrator. Leaping into the Light Part Six. Nightwing: Rebirth. 83, e-book ed. DC Comics, 2021. pp 04)

This question misses the point of what should be Dick’s understandable suspicion. Just because Dick can believe someone can live a double life, it does not mean he should immediately accept the words of a woman he has never met before without any evidence. Neither should he just take her word for it when she says that she “brought down two crime bosses from within” and that she wishes “to do the same for Bludhaven.”

Just as baffling as the fact that Dick immediately believes is the fact that he is ready to include her in all of his plans to take down Blockbuster without even investigating whether she might have ulterior motives.

And this goes both ways. When Melinda claims to have the same goals as Dick, she does not question Dick’s motivations. Neither does she question the legality of having a vigilante in the city, working outside of the system. 

The problem is not just that they have the same objective — take down Blockbuster — but that their approach to said objective is the exact same, that their beliefs in what would be best for Bludhaven perfectly align, and so they trust each other with critical information almost instantaneously, denying the reader the opportunity to read them about them earning each other’s trust by trying to persuade the to their side.

(Taylor, Tom, writer. Redondo, Bruno, illustrator. Leaping into the Light Part Six. Nightwing: Rebirth. 83, e-book ed. DC Comics, 2021. pp 05)

fter meeting one another, Dick and Melinda work closely together, and soon they start to think of themselves as siblings. This, however, happens off-screen. Melinda and Dick hardly ever appear together on the page, and Dick only thinks of her when it is convenient to the plot.  

As such, we are left with a significant change to a character’s backstory without having any conflict or significance created by this new addition. Melinda is not evil, so there's no conflict to be added. Melinda and Dick's morals not only perfectly align, but their methodology does as well. Dick is also not suspicious of Melinda, and Melinda views vigilantism and Nightwing’s presence in Bludhaven as a positive. There are no secret identity issues where Melinda doesn't know Dick and Nightwing are the same person and has contradicting feelings for each persona. Since Dick immediately takes her word when she claims to be his sister and when she claims to “not be evil,”  there is no need for her to win him over. There is no need for Dick to get Melinda to trust him. In other words, there is no room for this relationship to develop in front of the readers’ eyes so that we can grow to care for their bond and become invested in their dynamic. Every potential conflict or development is resolved and achieved as soon as the idea of Dick having a secret sister is introduced to the reader, making so that the storyline goes from its beginning to its endpoint in just two issues. 

This further destroys Dick’s characterization. Rather than trusting, Dick comes across as gullible, as he will blindly take the words of others when they tell him they are not evil. Dick comes off as incompetent, as he was unmasked so quickly and so easily when trying to investigate Melinda. And Melinda becomes a plot device, not a character. She is a deus-ex-machina who is there to call Dick when Blockbuster is going to try to kill him so Dick can escape at last second

(Taylor, Tom, writer. Redondo, Bruno, illustrator. Get Grayson Act Three. Nightwing: Rebirth. 90, e-book ed. DC Comics, 2022. pp 04)

Or to bring Dick to danger when the plot needs Dick to be in danger.

(Taylor, Tom, writer. Redondo, Bruno, illustrator. The Battle for Bludhaven’s Heart Part Three. Nightwing: Rebirth. 94, e-book ed. DC Comics, 2022. pp 22)

A lot of this could have been avoided if Melinda just wasn't Dick's sister, and instead they were made into reluctant allies. There would be no reason for her and Dick to spend time together outside of Nightwing-business or develop a sibling-bond, and without the Grayson connection, there would be the tension of Dick not knowing whether she is a threat. Losing the Grayson connection would also allow Melinda to become her own person, with her own history and interiority outside of Dick, John Grayson, and Zucco. She, too, could have become a face of Bludhaven so that her relevance to the plot would be through the city rather than Dick’s past. 

But that would require Dick to have meaningful interactions with a woman who is not related to him and who is not Barbara Gordon, and there would have been the threat of any tension between Dick and Melinda to be seen as romantic or sexual. It would have also required Taylor to put in the work to make an otherwise everyday human into someone who can excel in her work despite her ordinariness. 

Instead of letting the audience witness Dick and Melinda grow closer to one another, their bond as allies, friends, and siblings is developed off-screen. Taylor opts to skip over the interesting and messy steps that it takes to create such a relationship by instead having them immediately like and trust one another. 

As I said in the beginning of this section, I was never personally going to like "Dick's secret sibling" concept, but I could have still liked Melinda for her own character. Or I could have fallen in love with the sibling relationship she would build with Dick, had I been allowed the chance to witness it grow for myself. But Taylor makes no effort to endear his readers to Melinda as a character or to her relationship with Dick. Instead, she becomes the perfect example of so many of Taylor’s weaknesses as a writer — his distaste for conflict;  his tendency to show and not tell; his wanting to create plot twists that look shocking in a social media post while having no desire to follow through the consequences of said plot point; his wanting to create emotional pay-offs without putting in the work beforehand; his complete lack of understanding or care for Dick's character. Melinda embodies all of these problems.

[disneymbti]

Hiya, Sarah 💛! For the MBTI types, Joy, Sadness, Anger, Disgust, and Fear from Inside Out?

Hi there, Sunshine! I really hope you like this a lot!

Joy's MBTI Type, Big Three, Enneagram Type and Moral Alignment

MBTI Type: ENFJ [The Protagonist]

ENFJs are high-energy people who dislike spending too much time alone. They take initiative and tend to talk more than they listen.

They usually trust their intuition and focus on the future. They are good at analyzing complex ideas. 

Protagonists are motivated by feelings and values. They work to avoid conflict and are very diplomatic.

They like to make lists and schedules, preferring to follow a plan. They are hard-working and responsible.

Big Three: Sagittarius Sun, Leo Moon and Libra Rising

Sagittarius Sun: Sagittarius is governed by the expansive planet Jupiter, and is known for a free-spirited, globe-trotting, philosophical mindset — and wild streak.

Leo Moon: Possessing a wellspring of inner warmth, Leo Moons are beyond generous. As an act of love, they’ll shine their light onto those they care about. 

Libra Rising: Finding balance in life is essential for Libra risings, who prefer things to be even-keeled and civil.

Enneagram Type: 7w6 [The Pathfinder]

Basic Fear: Sevens with a six wing have a deeply-rooted fear of missing out. They want to be trustworthy and honor commitments, but they also want to leave room to allow for last-minute opportunities.

Basic Desire: Their basic desire is to feel fulfilled and happy. They express this by searching for joy in every small thing that comes their way.

Pathfinders defend themselves by rationalizing away negative feelings. They unconsciously convince themselves that they are happy, even when they are not.

Moral Alignment: Chaotic Good [The Rebel]

These characters value freedom and kindness, often challenging laws and order to achieve just outcomes.

Sadness' MBTI Type, Big Three, Enneagram Type and Moral Alignment

MBTI Type: INFP [The Mediator]

INFPs value time alone or with very small groups and can often feel exhausted after spending time with large groups of people.

They tend to focus on the big picture and don’t get lost on the smaller details. They have strong intuitions and often follow their gut instincts.

Mediators tend to prioritize emotion and make decisions that feel right. They are very diplomatic and can easily understand others' emotions.

They are very flexible in their schedules. INFPs like to keep their options open and tend to be more spontaneous.

Big Three: Cancer Sun, Virgo Moon and Pisces Rising

Cancer Sun: Ruled by the Moon, Cancers are emotionally mature, intuitive, sensitive, and artistic. They are guided by their tender, loving, and protective hearts.

Virgo Moon: Virgo Moons use their calm nature to gain deep clarity on matters, filtering questions through their kind, but reasonable, lens.

Pisces Rising: The Pisces ascendant commits fully to their beliefs, and has an active imagination.

Enneagram Type: 4w5 [The Free Spirit]

Basic Fear: Four wing fives fear having no impact on the world. They may be reserved, but they seek recognition and admiration.

Basic Desire: They desire their own personal identity, and may retreat within themselves to discover who they really are.

Free Spirits tend to defend themselves either by withdrawing from others or adapting characteristics of loved ones.

Moral Alignment: Neutral Good [The Benevolent]

These characters seek to do good, but are flexible in how they achieve it, valuing both order and freedom.

Anger's MBTI Type, Big Three, Enneagram Type and Moral Alignment

MBTI Type: ESTJ [The Executive]

ESTJ types are very high energy. They’d rather spend their time with other people than alone.

They tend to pay more attention to the details of a situation. They make decisions based on what they see right now.

Executives base their decisions on what makes sense, rather than what feels right. They listen to their head, not their heart.

They are responsible and like to plan ahead. They hold themselves accountable by making lists and following set processes and rules.

Big Three: Aries Sun, Aries Moon and Aries Rising

Aries Sun: The first sign of the zodiac, Aries is ruled by action planet Mars. When placed as the sun sign, the ram can motivate themselves to face on fears and blow past hesitation.

Aries Moon: Lunar Aries are known to be emotionally responsive and impulsive at times, as they lead with fiery passions over than logic or reason.

Aries Rising: Aries ascendants are known as the go-getters of the zodiac. They don’t let anything stand in their way of achieving their personal goals.

Enneagram Type: 8w7 [The Nonconformist]

Basic Fear: Eight with a seven wing fear being controlled by others. They dislike authority and prefer to work alone.

Basic Desire: Their basic desire is to remain in control of their own lives. They also want other people to be free, and are often advocates for those less able.

Nonconformists defend themselves by denying vulnerability. They don’t want to appear weak and therefore avoid situations that may leave them exposed or defenseless.

Moral Alignment: Chaotic Neutral [The Free Spirit]

Free from societal constraints, these characters prioritize their own freedom and make choices based on their whims.

Disgust's MBTI Type, Big Three, Enneagram Type and Moral Alignment

MBTI Type: ESTP [The Entrepreneur]

ESTP types like being around large groups of people, whether they know them or not. They prefer being out in action to being at home by themselves.

They are very observant, detail-oriented people. They are practical and realistic, focusing on the here-and-now.

Entrepreneurs make decisions based in logic. They care more about following the truth than making other people happy.

They avoid schedules, preferring to make plans as they go. They are less aware of time and enjoy being adaptable.

Big Three: Libra Sun, Gemini Moon and Taurus Rising

Libra Sun: Libra is ruled by the airy part of Venus, making them bon vivants, critical, and artistic — as well as forever stylish.

Gemini Moon: Ruled by winged messenger, Mercury, Gemini Moons enjoy discussing their complex feelings with others in order to gain a mindful and clear emotional perspective.

Taurus Rising: Those with Taurus risings exude grace and sophistication, and handle business with a sweet disposition.

Enneagram Type: 3w4 [The Expert]

Basic Fear: Enneagram type threes with a four wing are afraid of failure. They tend to throw themselves into their careers and do anything it takes to succeed.

Basic Desire: Their most basic desire is to succeed and feel valued. They may show this by seeking validation of their hard work and successes.

Experts defend themselves by adapting or changing their personalities to fit their environment. This makes them great communicators, but may also lead them to being misunderstood or feeling fraudulent.  

Moral Alignment: True Neutral [The Balanced]

These characters believe in balance and avoid taking sides. They don’t take moral or ethical stances, but assess situations pragmatically.

Fear's MBTI Type, Big Three, Enneagram Type and Moral Alignment

MBTI Type: ISFJ [The Defender]

ISFJ types need time alone to re-energize. They are self-sufficient and independent thinkers.

They are very observant and prefer to focus on the details of every situation. They listen to and follow past experience and present understandings.

Defenders prioritize the emotional needs of others. They make decisions based on what feels right, rather than what might make most logical sense.

They also prefer structure and organization, tending to follow rules and processes to an end goal. They are responsible and have a strong work ethic.

Big Three: Virgo Sun, Aquarius Moon and Capricorn Rising

Virgo Sun: Governed by communication planet Mercury, Virgos are the thinkers of the zodiac. Virgos process information with diligence and use facts to solve problems. 

Aquarius Moon: Logic or emotion? Why not both. The Aquarius Moon integrates logic with sentimentality in order to attain a deep understanding of their inner lives.

Capricorn Rising: Capricorn ascendants are known for their efforts and diligence when it comes to attaining success and prosperity. 

Enneagram Type: 6w5 [The Guardian]

Basic Fear: Sixes with five wings are afraid of losing their guidance and stability. This is often expressed through their skepticism of the world.

Basic Desire: They have a strong desire for security, which they tend to show by protecting themselves and others. They seek close and stable relationships.

Guardians tend to defend themselves by projecting their own feelings onto others, which can often enhance their distrust of the world.

Moral Alignment: Lawful Good [The Crusader]

These are characters who believe in truth, honor and order. They always strive to do the right thing, even at a great personal cost.

[chaseprice]

hi!! hope i’m not a bother. i just came across u and i wanted to ask something,,,

basically, i joined the life is strange fandom in 2018 so i never got to experience the pre-bts era, meaning i didn’t get to experience what rachel was like to the fandom back then or see the different interpretations of her.

i did some digging and i found some fan content of her from 2015-2016 & i’m absolutely infatuated with all aspects of the fanon version of her, especially her personality & how she looked. i totally wanna embody her. also the love is strange vn was so interesting to play, i love how she was written. i’d love to know more!

i stumbled across ur blog while i was doing my digging and i saw an old long post of urs saying how bts didn’t live up to the fandoms expectations, as almost everyone perceived her differently.

sorry for all the yapping LOL but what i basically wanna ask is,,, how *exactly* did the fandom perceive rachel back then (2015-2016). what were some popular headcanons for her? things you guys even considered to be canon? what were some of your own *personal* headcanons? (can be silly, realistic,,, just anything you thought resonated with her)

do you have any favorite arts from that time period that you thought really captured her? what were your hopes for the prequel/rachels character before it was released? what did you want to see in terms of story? was rachel’s style, appearance, & personality extremely different than what you expected? what did you expect?

i assume that rachels treatment in the fandom was different then than what it is now. whether it’s better or worse, i’m not sure. i was hoping u could answer that too😞. recently i’ve just been seeing constant hatred or lack of care for her character so i’m starting to think that if bts was written differently and based on the fandom’s interpretations instead, the hate now wouldn’t be this bad.

from my digging it seems like you guys had alot of fun sculpting rachel’s character on your own, and the interpretations were probably more realistic than what decknine put together.

anyway i’m sorry for the yapping essay on this random saturday, most old lis accounts are dead & i didn’t know who else to ask☹️. just trying to relive what you guys experienced the best i can. hope i’m not bombarding you with this. thank you so much if u respond !!

hiii u def did not bother me, i am not in a position to answer all of these questions, but although it makes me feel ancient, it's cute to see so much passion for rachel and pre-BTS fandom opinion, so i'll try answer some and for the rest (art, hcs, etc.) im just gonna have to direct you to my archive* (will continue under the readmore)

*(tumblr archive is so broken on mobile so you gotta go on pc for this, but also there's so many gifs from that time so it will Definitely slow down your browser). i was insane and 17 years old so like, just excuse all of the cringe content i guess. you can click tag and filter it by either #lis #rachel amber #amberprice or whatever to try and find stuff like art. and i got into lis sept 2015 so that's like, as far back as it will go, but i was fully lisbrained from 2016 through 2018)

to be honest, in alignment with pre-bts thought lmao, rachel is whoever you want her to be. there was less of 'this is a correct objective fact about her personality/history' and more 'yeah, this is an idea the fandom really likes and has become fanon, most likely because it is a nuanced and entertaining and realistic interpretation of what we have seen of her character in lis1' which means people whose opinions conflicted with that might've be contested/laughed at/unpopular, but they weren't wrong per se. there were plenty of people i'd criticise (and ridicule) back then for implying that this teenage girl was evil, and being a teenager myself back then, i'd call them morally reprehensible and cancellable and whatever, but tbh, as an adult now, i can just see that it was simply a boring interpretation of her character informed by misogyny

i'd disagree with the notion that fandom treatment of rachel's character was better before bts, back then there were plenty of people seemingly excited to characterise her as emotionally manipulative, a cheater, deserved what she got, etc. as well, bc tbh, the story did leave room for that interpretation, but it left room for so much more as well. i feel like bts just really locked in on a certain story they wanted to tell plot-wise, and didn't choose to explore a lot of the questions fans had about rachel as a person. it's hard to turn the ambiguity of a friendship turned situationship over a period of 4 years into a playable experience for an audience - so they didn't. regardless, it got people thinking about rachel more, putting a spotlight on her, hence increased attention both positive and negative. i feel like there's just a fundamental difference between what lis1 fans enjoyed about the potential for her character and how she related with chloe and the world around her, and what deck9 wanted to portray in bts (yes they hit the astrological headcanons, the charmingness, her rebellion, the emotional conflicts... but it personally felt hollow, contrived sometimes, i suppose). but there were a lot of people who loved bts (i enjoyed a lot of parts of it!). just, in my opinion, some of those were quite different people from who loved lis1, and with that wave it brought a lot of emotional immaturity to the fandom (like... ship wars, really? that was an insane change to fandom dynamics for me lmao, but maybe i was just spoiled by surrounding myself with people whose takes i respected)

anyway i highly recommend also that if you're hungry for that kind of content, read fanfiction on AO3 by the old fans - by Mogatrat (TON of rachel centric ones there), explosionshark and tippytypewriter, chicknparm (though Cusp is written post-bts, it's informed by pre-bts characterisations), vicepoint (me hehe), def many more good ones out there those r jus my friends so they come to mind first, e.g. i liked homecoming by kriegersan back in the day, but you could def find some more by sorting the lis ao3 page by kudos and reading the older ones that are highly rated featuring rachel. and lastly, my gf wrote a beautifully worded blog post called "The Assassination of Rachel Amber by the Cowards Dontnod and Deck Nine" which gets into some of this from a media crit perspective (not about fandom) in a very eloquent way thru comparison w twin peaks and i highly recommend that

rachel hcs that def started way before bts: skater rachel, stoner rachel, punk music listener rachel (but also like, fleetwood mac cranberries cocteau twins grungy hippy stuff rachel too), rachel's parents being distant and still living in california, curvy thick rachel, things that i've accepted as canon but were def created by diff people: bri explosionshark hc'd that rachel paid for chloe's sleeve, mogatrat (i think) hc'd that rachel initially went to get her nips pierced with chloe (that's a longtime fan hc now idk who started that one) but chickened out at the last minute, i think she also hc'd that chloe made the earring for rachel which is cute too

[taylortruther]

(im sorry sometimes i just send you long asks about my opinions, but it’s because i feel like even if you disagree or think what im saying is dumb (for the lack of a better word), you would be nice and gentle about it haha. ignore me if you want!)

maybe the way i view celebs is “wrong” but i grew up in india, and i literally learned to never rely on them. they do and say the dumbest things, but no one bats an eye because it’s like “ofc this famous person said and did this.” in the same vein, i don’t rely on her to feel that im making a difference in society by calling her out. as for everyone always talking about expecting better from her, i literally don’t expect anything from her. i obviously recognize that her outreach is so very wide so of course i would love if she did say something and addressed certain things, but i have seen that she will not speak on issues pertaining to other countries and sticks to her lane with 3-5 major things in the US, so why would i expect her to speak about anything else? having followed her for so long, based on past, how could i and why would i? (this sounds unkind i think but i actually mean it in a kind way lmao). her speaking on things would just bring me personal peace that she did her part and that i support a good person, but beyond that, if i actually want change, why would i focus on her at alllll instead of focusing on an actual political figures? that’s time spent doing something that will result in nothing instead of something else (i realize this is extremely ironic because im typing this long ask and spending time on it 💀 i love being a hypocrite i guess)

instead of focusing any of my energy wanting her to do things she probably won’t do, i spend my time actually supporting things i believe in, and constantly having uncomfortable conversations with people around me. and the impact i have is actually very little compared to all that other people do, so instead i spend time feeling guilty about it and thinking what can i do? (that’s kinda a joke but also not a joke at all alkjgdgsj)

also, like im so in terms of how she and i are different. im a poc immigrant, and im extremely privileged in general, but compared to her it’s nothing. she is the biggest star in the world. no way our approach or thinking aligns. i feel like calling her out and constantly thinking about her “wrongs” just makes me feel conflicted about her. i don’t want to align myself with her politically and not because she is a conservative or something but because there are other people who are more sensible to align myself with. and it’s not that i don’t critically think about her, but that im being selfish and affording myself this luxury.

basically, all that word-jargon to say i love her music and i love her as a person and her traits very dearly, and the way she approaches political issues is something i used to be in gripes with but have accepted and come to terms with. and maybe i have cognitive dissonance and im actually blind to how evil she is because im a “cupcake” swiftie, but oh well. i guess i just have no morals then 😭

arshia i completely agree with you and imo this describes my own mentality about it really well. she does not represent me and frankly i do not really want her to try. of course, i wish she'd come out and say some shit like "MONEY FOR WAR BUT NOT FOR CITIZENS? CALL YOUR REPS AND SIT IN IN ALL THEIR OFFICES" fjdkasl but i'm not going to hold my breath. taylor's conscience is her own, i can't control it!

and if someone cannot stomach celebrities at all because of what they represent - FAIR! i turn off that part of my brain to be on here, because this is my fun lil hobby. and i think i am making more of an impact irl than i ever could on here. although, if anyone learns anything about their own politics through my blog, i consider that a win.

[cilil]

𝓐𝓝 ~ For my 6666th post, I decided to compile an Angbang appreciation post to (hopefully) spread some joy and positivity for one of my favorite ships of all time. I tried my best to present the things that I love about Angbang in a broad and open manner, so that it encompasses all sorts of takes and welcomes as many fellow Angbangers as possible.

As I will also say at the end of this: You're cordially invited and welcome to share what you love about this ship and/or add aspects I haven't mentioned in this post. Just keep it positive!

Melkor. Ah Melkor, the man himself, the myth, the legend, a prime example for chaotic evil and our resident devil. Throughout the Silmarillion, as well as Tolkien's other writings, Melkor is busy hating pretty much everyone... except Mairon, it seems. He trusts him enough to let him run entire fortresses and taught him a lot of dark magic, which, as mundane as it may seem, is a lot more productive and friendly than Melkor has been to other people, including those who serve him. I - and I think many other Angbang shippers as well - love the idea that there is this one person in the world whom he actually likes and appreciates.

Mairon. The eponymous Lord of the Rings and general nuisance, enough to make Eru himself intervene twice, the Deceiver, professional pretty boy and peerless perfectionist. No other Maia has come close to causing as much drama, and something tells me Melkor will be proud once he hears about the Second and Third Age shenanigans. Mairon seems to hate everyone as well... except Melkor, with whom you could argue he might be a little obsessed. He's both frightening and hilarious and, for better or for worse, an icon both in-universe and outside.

Great ship name. Angbang is both a handy and memorable ship name and an amazing pun. It sure is a funny coincidence that my (to date) favorite ship all time also has my (maybe forever) favorite ship name of all time. And if that wasn't enough: If you take Morgoth x Sauron as the basis, their ship name is Moron which... yeah. No explanation needed. The stars aligned with this one.

Opposites attract. There are fundamental differences between Melkor and Mairon as characters, such as the chaos vs. order dynamic (as @maironite also pointed out), their goals - Melkor wanted to destroy while Mairon was more interested in getting things to run smoothly, though both were keen on enforcing their will - and their approach to handling situations they find themselves in - whereas Melkor is often impulsive, Mairon is more patient and calculating. You can also create an ice vs. fire dynamic, though they share the fire element (Melkor used to be the Vala of Fire and Ice and is still seen using these two elements a lot). It gives them some additional friction and spice to work with.

Similarities. Aside from their differences creating chemistry, Melkor and Mairon also share a few similarities and things they can bond over to balance whatever conflicts might arise. Both seem dissatisfied with the plans of Eru and the Valar, want to create whatever they wish to create without rules being imposed on them, have a questionable moral compass at best, like screwing people over and have obsessive tendencies (more on that later). I like to think that they can nerd out about about science and magic for hours, which likely became the foundation of their relationship in the first place, and that they also engaged in deep and challenging conversations that satisfied both of them in ways other conversation partners hadn't.

The Fall. We love fallen angels and a good corruption arc. Mairon's origins as a respected member of Aulë's household - who is still remembered for his skill despite his dark deeds - and moments where he could have potentially been redeemed are documented in the Silmarillion and the subject of many interesting discussions and fanworks. However, while less pronounced and presented as far less likely in the narrative, the same applies to Melkor. Even he started out as "good" and his motives, at least early on, are also understandable: He was dissatisfied with his inability to create freely and completely on his own. You could even say he's a bit of a failed artist which... is painfully relatable. As much pain and grief as both of them have caused, it's also tragic that they couldn't overcome their pride and choose a better path, for the sake of others as well as their own, and that Melkor ended up dragging Mairon down with him; both of them would have had the ability to do truly great things if this hadn't happened.

Philosophical aspects. To read Melkor and Mairon as a couple and their fates as a tragic love story creates interesting parallels with other star-crossed lovers in Tolkien's legendarium and raises fascinating philosophical questions. Can evil love? Can love be evil? Could love have been their road to redemption or was it - at least on Mairon's part - his doom? If I had to summarize my personal take on this, I would say that Melkor unwillingly corrupted love by genuinely being in love.

If you'd like to read a (more concise) take on this aspect which also touches on some other things mentioned in this post, I highly recommend this thread by @naruthandir.

There are just so many things you can read into this relationship and themes to explore, which I appreciate so much. It never gets boring and I always find new ideas to have fun with.

Power dynamics. Now, let me preface this by saying that I'm aware that some of you prefer it one way, some of you prefer it the other way, some see the Vala/Maia power imbalance as inherently unhealthy and like to take that as a central theme of their relationship and some prefer to interpret these two has having a fairly equal relationship. However, I'm not here to debate which take is "right" or "better", nor do I have any interest to. I think that, whichever way you choose, it's an interesting concept to play around with. Did you know that Estë used to be a Maia? I honestly think it would be cool if she still was, just to bridge the divide between Valar and Maiar a bit more. Nevertheless, I think we can all agree that especially Melkor isn't interested in what other Valar think is proper or appropriate and that Mairon, ambitious as he is, probably also likes having a Valarin partner/spouse. It's also interesting as a contrast to Melkor's usual arrogance and thinking that he's above everyone, and if you need something to prove that he wouldn't categorically say no to being with a Maia, look no further than his attempt at (forcibly) marrying Arien in other versions of the story.

Kink. Well, we've talked about power dynamics already, so let's not beat around the bush. We have some hot evil gay sex on our hands here. Super freaky too, if that's your thing. This ship is, in my opinion, excellent for BDSM and was what allowed me to discover and enjoy kink for the first time (though, again, none of this is a must if you prefer other takes). You can play with their existing power dynamic, subvert it, have them live out their sadistic urges, have them do elaborate roleplays, make use of all the creepiness and weirdness of the Ainur, particularly evil ones... they even have a convenient dungeon in their basement! There's so much good and sexy Angbang smut out there and I'd like to take a quick moment to thank everyone who wrote these fics that inspired and entertained me for years - and will do so for years to come.

Queerness. There are a lot of gay ships in the Tolkien fandom and fandom in general, but I still feel like it's important to mention this aspect. In fact, if you'd allow me to share something personal: Angbang was my first contact with queer content and, while this may seem strange considering that I am a woman, it also started my journey to discover my own queerness and I will forever appreciate that (I suppose it was "femboy" Mairon in particular alongside Melkor being a raging bisexual disaster - just my headcanon, not trying to push this on anyone - that finally allowed me to break out of compulsive heterosexuality and heteronormativity). I don't know if anyone had similar experiences with Angbang, but, well, I thought if I'm making an Angbang appreciation post, this might just be the time to include it.

Obsession. Melkor is obsessed with all things bright and beautiful, and this might very well include Mairon. As far as I'm aware, him being a fire spirit like Arien and the Balrogs are is fanon, but he's at the very least associated with fire in canon (on that note: kudos to whoever came up with the "little flame" nickname, it's so cute). Meanwhile, Mairon loves power and, as mentioned above, is obsessed with Melkor and his legacy enough to not only continue what they started, but also create a religion all about him. I like to think that both of them are also very jealous, which certainly ended up being the doom of a few innocent bystanders. They're just angry and evil and insane together and it's endlessly entertaining to me.

Tolkien's accidental "evidence". This could probably be its own post (which I might do in the future, though I'd do some additional research for it), and I want to make it clear that I'm not trying to "prove" to you that Angbang is canon or anything like that, I just find it funny when canon gives me tidbits that I can use for my "agenda". First of all, there's the infamous seduction line that has singlehandedly spawned countless fanfics and most likely raised a few eyebrows:

"In the beginning of Arda Melkor seduced [Mairon] to his allegiance (...)" The Silmarillion

One of my personal favorites is also the fact that, in the Lay of Leithian, Mairon starts ranting about how cool Melkor is - after only briefly mentioning Lúthien - and gets mad at Beren and the others for not stanning his boyfriend master hard enough. To make sure everyone knows exactly how awesome Melkor is, he later made sure people pray to him and perform human sacrifices which, since even any positive effects it might have couldn't reach Melkor in the Void, was apparently just for shits and giggles and to troll some mortals. Now that is what I call commitment! There's also Melkor's trust in Mairon and his fire spirit kink, but I've mentioned that already.

Aesthetics. Spiky black armor is incredibly sexy. Then we have peak hell and hellfire aesthetics. We have crowns and rings. We have fallen angels and fire and ice, as mentioned above. And we have two incredibly hot (literally) angels kissing. You could make them fuck in an erupting volcano. It's just... yes.

To conclude: We love villains, we love dark lords, evil is fun!

What I discussed in this post is pretty much just everything I could think of, with my friends and fellow shippers giving me a few additional keywords to mention, so there's definitely more. I hope this post made some of you appreciate this ship as well, maybe sparked or rekindled some love for it, and I invite you to add on and/or share what you love about Angbang. However: I'm going to have to politely and respectfully ask you to remember that this is an appreciation and positivity post, so I don't want to see any negativity, complaints about the way other people enjoy this ship differently or shade. Time and place. Alright? Alright.

Love you!

"Whom do ye serve, Light or Mirk? Who is the maker of mightiest work? Who is the king of earthly kings, the greatest giver of gold and rings? Who is the master of the wide earth? Who despoiled them of their mirth, the vain Valar? Repeat your vows, Orcs of Bauglir! Do not bend your brows. Death to light, to law, to love; cursed be moon and stars above; may darkness everlasting old that waits outside in surges cold drown Manwë, Varda and the sun; may all is hatred be begun and all in evil ended be in the moaning of the endless Sea!" Lay of Leithian, Canto VIII

[m-for-musings]

To be able to "recruit" NPCs from the Absolute cult besides Minthara would solve a lot of BG3's narrative problems when dealing with her recruitment.

Don't get me wrong, I love the game. I just don't love how black-and-white the moral dilemmas are (but this is a D&D alignment system problem I already rant about a lot).

Ok replaying Act I and seeing all the dialogue options we have with Priestess Gut just served to strengthen my idea of how cool and narratively accurate it would it be to just convince people who would be "villains" that the Absolute is a fraud and having these people at least hanging around your camp.

In Act I we'd have Gut, Ragzlin and Minthara. Nothing can convince me that the three of them couldn't simply be convinced to come along. There is a full dialogue with Gut where you see a mindflayer inserting a tadpole in her head (and she sees your insertion too) but for whatever reason she was just like "nah you're confused". Like yeah, I got it, but can I at least roll a persuasion check? Especially if I have previous knowledge about the Absolute (through encounters with the cultists or reading Halsin's diary entries about that)?

Also Minthara: she admits in Act II that the whole idea of raiding an insignificant druid grove was... Stupid. And she only agreed to that because she was brainwashed. So like, why can't we just... Un-brainwash her? Let her delve into our head and see for herself? Especially when around the artifact's area of effect?*

It would be a way of encouraging the players to resolve conflicts non-lethaly while it could also be a stronger appeal to swallow down tadpoles (in order to make it easier to pry into people's minds and show the truth into their heads, for example) giving the game a heavier moral dilemma: is it ok to simply brute force people out of a religion that was brute forced on them? How far you'd go for that? Is it worth to have a million brain worms in your head? You're helping people at a great personal cost, and you might be doing it wrong.

*another incongruence: at the beginning it is implied that the artifact has an area of effect (the cutscene where Shadowheart uses it to dissipate the Absolute's voice when we're entering the goblin camp) and then in the end it is implied that it's the squid who gets to choose who will receive the protection or not (with the whole "hmm nah I'm not protecting Minsc" ridiculous pout scene)

[casp1an-sea]

Jedi Master Jinera “Jin” Vestria

The drawing is old, so it’s kind of bad. Sadly, I don’t remember what her tattoo says, but it seems to start with the letter T.

other characters to know for her story: Gen (best friend), Pical (Best friend), Zac (Padwan), Aaron (Husband), Ven (Daughter)

Birth Year: 50 BBY

Age at beginning: 27 (yes I know she’s young for a master it kinda bothers me but she’s kinda an old OC and now I don’t wanna change it so oh well)

Species: Human, courscantian

Gender: Female (She/Her)

Sexuality: straight (I forgot I could make cus het OCs lmao)

Height: 5’8”

Occupation : Jedi Master

Force Alignment: Light Neutral

—————————————————————���———

Personality: Jin is quiet when you first get to know her but talkative and boisterous once she knows you. She holds her morals close to her and does not cross her own personal boundaries even if it causes her to break the rules. She’s loyal and friendly and sees padawans as a Jedi's friend, as well as a student. She really likes kids. She still holds the council in high regard and will not disrespect direct orders even if she doesn’t agree with them unless they conflict with her core values. Has a similar view of them as Obi-Wan. She promotes emotional stability opposed to emotional suppression and sees love and attachments as a strength when handled in healthy ways. She has a tendency to come across as monotone or blunt when not meaning to, causing others to read her tone incorrectly. She’s also quite sarcastic.

Appearance: Jinera has long light brown hair and green eyes. Her hair is mainly down with a partial braid. It’s tied into a full braid when she fights. She wears a sleeveless black skin tight suit with shorts and a turtle neck. Over that she has a white overcloak fastened around the waist by a belt.

Weapons: Single bladed orange lightsaber with a simple non-decorative silver hilt. But she tends to rely more on the force than her saber, and is very good with meditation and healing abilities.

—————————————————————————

Backstory: She was taken from her family as a baby and has no memory of them. Gen and Pical Were her childhood friends and trained with her as younglings. Pical has become more of a frenemy due to  conflicting views. She was taught mainly by Yoda as a youngling and her master was Plo Koon. She met a mercenary named Aaron on a mission to Corellia and is hiding that they are dating. Only Gen knows. Her Padwan in Zac.

A year before the clone war begin Gen was kicked out of the order after it was discovered that he had a spouse. Jinera was angry with the council and left the order without permission from the them, in solidarity with him, going to Corellia where she married Aaron and changed her name to Julana Drace. She mostly stayed out of the war and had a daughter named Ven. She did not use the force aside from teaching it to her daughter and kept the fact that she was a former Jedi a secret. She gifted her light saber hilt to her daughter, telling her that one day she would find a Kyber crystal of her own to power it.

in the wake of the empire, her and her husband are killed by an inquisitor and her daughter is taken by Darth Vader.

—————————————————————————

@xen-blank, @thehollowwriter, @l7k-a, @ferris-the-wheel, @keii-starz

@krenenbaker @elenauaurs @the-banana-0verlord @edith-is-a-cat @dove-da-birb

@theosb0rnway @fizzydreamz @ravenwing0110

@diabollicallyangelic @xentari94 @tomatette

@dragonflies-draw-flame @sunshinechildskywalker