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shai-manahan · 11 months ago

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Hi! It's been a while since I've talked about the upcoming updates, but I finally had a chance to actually sit down and make plans! (the life of a corporate slave, am I right? 🙃)

It has something to do with the changes I will be implementing on my patreon, though. I've thought for a while how to give content that's worthwhile of subscriptions while also making sure I can be comfortable with them, and in all honesty, I had a tricky time doing it. HM is too personal for me, as I used to talk about before, and some of the patreon benefits I promised before eventually felt too revealing - of my own thoughts and people whose lives were a huge inspiration for this story.

I will be talking about these changes and the update schedules as well below the cut.

UPDATES

I aim to finish at least half of HM's Book 1 this year. It seems to be a more realistic goal than forcing myself to finish everything right away (which tbh may have been a huge pressure I put on myself the past few years), though admittedly, things are unpredictable in the field I'm in; my job is full of overtime hours, and I spend most of my weekends trying to recover (or sick).

Still, I gotta finish it one way or another, and it's not going to write itself (though I wish it would!), so yeah, set realistic deadlines, pull out a few all-nighters, and maybe I'll actually get through it, who knows?

I do hope I'll have steadier finances by the time Book 2 starts so I can put more focus on writing and have sufficient energy for it, but that's a conversation for another day.

Changes in Prologue - Chapter 2

Okay. I know I promised not to make revisions until I write more chapters, but changing how some game mechanics work and reworking the stats made it a necessity, and I underestimated how much rewriting I'd have to do. A few scenes ended up not working well anymore, and I couldn't resist from revising a few clunky sections while I was at it.

Dialogue options were one of those that were significantly affected by the stat changes, but no worries, nothing is changed in the story -- meaning Wesley still fucks with the Ripper's life (oops), Richard still goes off doing whatever non-sus thing he's doing, you can still punch Bale (it's even a lot funnier this time), Bertrand remains a bitchy cop, and you'll still have your sad flashback with your former best friend/lover/crush or whatever they are to your MC.

The plan is to release the updated version of Prologue and Chapter 1 to patrons by the end of March (I will have a few days off work that week) and release it to the public once the new content is also ready, which I presume will be available next month (I will keep you all posted but I really hope I can get it done by then because it's been forever 🥲).

I might tweak Chapter 2 a little so the available portion can stand on its own rather than be divided into two parts, because it's just too long lmfao and is harming the pacing as I keep worrying about the length. I'm also incorporating a few suggestions a few folks gave me these past few months.

Succeeding chapters

I've probably said this before but things are bound to get more insane in HM once we're past the first three to four chapters. But also quicker to write in a way. They're the kind of scenes I thrive in, and while they have bigger variations, they're a lot more fast-paced, characters start being manipulative little shits, and the threats are more prevalent than ever. Your Ripper will not have a good time, but I certainly will (I say as I look at my outline and get sad doing it). There will be a few "breaks" in between, but this is not and will never be a light-hearted story. Anyway, I'm inclined to believe I'll be more consistent with updates when that time comes, so bear with me for now :')

PATREON CHANGES

This is getting long, so I'll just list the updated tier benefits and end the day with it. I'll be posting a schedule that I will be committing to (here and on patreon tomorrow morning), with the below details as well (so if you wanna stop here that's totally valid) but for now, here's the tentative list:

Tier 1

Early access - 4 days before a public update (this month will be an exception and you'll get the update as soon as the other tiers get it, too).

Sneak peeks and deleted scenes - I included the latter because apparently I delete a lot of great scenes

Hints for future revelations in the story - the categories will depend on results of polls; the hints may be about Bale's death, about Ripper's family, Pharos, Cyro, the ROs themselves, or the nightmares that the MC is getting, etc. Might be in form of vague conversations/dialogues between unknown characters, might be me dropping subtle info about those involved. Either way, it will be fun :). The polls and these hints will be given monthly.

Tier 2

Early access - 1 week before a public update

all the other benefits for Tier 1

monthly RO snippets - I'm still experimenting with this, but I might simply write MC x RO snippets (with different kinds of MCs for different scenarios because I deeply hate writing blank slate MCs, sorry)

a choice to see the POV of a character, decided through polls, for every chapter/update.

Tier 3

Early access - as early as it's available and goes through testing stages

all other benefits for previous tiers

Non-RO short stories

Previews on unintroduced characters :)

That's all for tonight! I am so tired lmfao but I hope you all are having a great weekend so far! See you tomorrow :)

#patreon #patreon changes #updates #hollowed minds progress update #interactive fiction #hollowed minds series #hollowed minds #wip #writing #hollowed minds book one #if wip #interactive novel

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authormahimistry · 4 months ago

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Dirty Wild Sultan

Zain

My head was throbbing as I stepped inside the club. The guards kept their distance, but they followed me, doubling the protection around the club and the enormous expanse of the three floors. We owned several of the clubs and hotels in Azmia, especially the most popular in our capital, which celebrities used to party and forget about themselves without the fear of paparazzi.

My pace was steady, annoyance from the meeting with the twin princesses filling my steps as I made my way to the second floor. Red, blue, yellow and green neon lights danced through the dark walls covered in thin velvet fabric. People laughed, danced and made out against the obsidian pillars, the bartenders fulfilling the orders, our guards making sure everything went smoothly with no incident. I eyed the dance stage. People donned various dress shirts and short dresses dancing with their hands above their head, swaying to the upbeat music played by the DJ.

I felt envious, wishing I could go down and mingle with the crowd. Get drunk and dance and have a headache from the hangover, not from the stress of ruling the country, making sure I was the best every day.

Women giggled as they brushed past me, eyeing me. Color slashed my cheeks as I cleared my throat and climbed the stairs to reach the VIP floor. The bodyguard let me pass, my eyes taking in the circular tables, blood-colored couches, the exotic scent of the air.

“Well, well, well, look who showed up,” Zayed whistled, his grin widening and dimples appearing in his cheeks. The blonde who was on his lap, kissing his neck moments ago, stood up when he whispered something in her ear. Her cheeks flushed when she walked past me, closing the door of the only private room on the VIP floor.

Only royals were allowed here. Me, Khalid, Zara, and our closest friend, the Sheikh of Azmia, Zayed.

“Where’s Khalid?” I asked, sitting down and pouring myself a glass of whiskey.

Zayed kept grinning, and I rolled my eyes, swallowing the contents of the glass, the alcohol burning my throat. He was a year younger than me, similar to Khalid, so it was no wonder they were best mates. His dark curly hair fell over his forehead, charm exuding out of every pore of his tanned skin, his easygoing smile making both men and women envy him.

“He knew you’d come here,” he said, clinking the bottle of champagne with my empty glass and drinking straight from it.

“So you knew about the princesses?”

“Of course, it was my plan after all.” He gave me his shit-eating grin again and raised his brow. “So? What happened? Did you get laid, Your Highness?”

I gave him a deadpanned look.

Zayed pouted. “And here I thought you would like those princesses. Would you prefer a prince instead? I know a few.” His eyes twinkled at his own suggestion.

I looked away. Leave Zayed to know which princesses and princes were better in bed. “I am not into any of them. You know I am heterosexual. Quit being an ass.”

“And asexual by the way you reacted towards those twins.”

“How do you know that?” I asked, frowning.

He shrugged, “They told me. They were here moments ago with Khalid—”

“I don’t want to hear about it,” I interrupted him. “And there’s nothing wrong with me being asexual. If I was asexual, that is.”

Before Zayed could reply, the door of the private room opened, and I saw my brother, red smeared over his neck and the collar of his shirt as he tried to fix his hair.

“You are a dickhead,” I said, greeting him.

Khalid straightened up hearing my voice and gave me a lazy shrug while he buttoned his shirt. Not realizing that the first two buttons were missing.

“I thought I was helping you out. Won’t happen again, big brother.”

“Sending two princesses to seduce me to have sex with them and marry them is not helping me out.”

Zayed looked between us when I stood up, “Okay, calm down, you two.”

I glared at my brother. “Stop interfering in my life, Khalid. I told you I don’t want to marry.”

He flared his nose at me. “And what is so wrong with that?”

I scoffed. “If you are so excited about marriage, then why don’t you get married?”

“You guys are fighting for no reason, for fuck’s sake,” Zayed mumbled, drinking champagne.

“Shut up, Zayed.” We both snapped in unison, glaring at him.

“I don’t need heirs, Zain, you do,” Khalid pointed at me. “Just marry someone and adopt a kid if you want to stay celibate. Don’t force it on me.”

“No one’s forcing you to do anything, Khalid!” I yelled. “No one has told you to do anything for Azmia since I became a sultan. I never once asked for your help.”

“Maybe it would be better if you did,” Khalid said, his eyes dilated.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “You know why I can’t.”

***

“She is my daughter,” our father said. “I will decide her future for the betterment of Azmia. She needs to accept the betrothal for our future.”

“No, she does not.” I glared at him, taking a step closer and trying to talk to him. Zara’s cheeks were wet with tears. My heart thundering in my chest. “Let her go, baba. She is a kid.”

He bellowed out, his face scrunched in anguish. “She is a monster! A witch! Ever since she was born, she has brought nothing but misery to our country. Our neighbors.” His eyes turned red when he glared at her. “She killed my wives.”

Zara shook her head, my heart breaking at the sight. She shouldn’t hear such things from our father. He was angry and sad, trying to blame her for everything that had happened.

“I didn’t k-kill them,” she hiccupped, trying to get away from our father.

“Yes, you did! Maybe I should kill you too,” he said, his lips curling in anger.

Khalid whispered beside me, “Please do something, Zain. He is… he is hurting her.”

My eyes widened. I didn’t want to believe it. All the rumors and concerned talk about my father going insane. But I was seeing it with my own eyes. Even though we bore the mark of his anger, I thought of him as the most powerful sultan, but seeing him trying to hurt my sister, his own daughter, for something we couldn’t prevent from happening made it all clear.

“Baba! Stop!” I shouted, stepping between his hand that was going to strike my sister. I held in my wince when his palm hit my cheek, the pain ringing through my skin to my body as I took a step back, my arms protecting my sister.

“Stupid boy, move away!” He snapped, ready to strike again, and for the first time, I raised my arm to block his hit. I knew I would get punished for it later, but I wouldn’t allow myself to watch him hurt another human being again. I couldn’t allow that anymore. Not with Zara.

I gave him a little push, his hand wrapping around the cane he needed to use because of his old age and weak legs. The same cane that had been… no, I didn’t have enough time to relive the past. I needed to make sure my brother and sister were safe. I broke the hold of his hand on her wrist and bristled at the red hand prints that marked the pale skin of my sister’s arm.

It must have hurt her.

Swallowing my anger and hate, I crouched and wiped her tears. “Go with your brother Khalid. He will take you to your room, okay?”

She nodded, rushing towards Khalid, hugging his legs when he frowned at me and our father. “What are you doing, Zain?” he asked.

“I am making sure our father doesn’t hurt anyone again,” I said, glaring at the man who shared my blood.

Salman Al Latif laughed. There was something cruel and wicked about it. “You will hurt your father? Your own blood, boy? You can’t even wield a sword properly and you dare talk back to me!”

I ignored my fear of backing away when he straightened his stance, his grey hair wild, his eyes even wilder when he looked at Zara, her little frame cowering behind Khalid’s legs. Even he held his ground in front of our father.

“Come to your father, Zara,” he yelled, rage filling his voice.

He didn’t seem human anymore. He was the monster, driving away our mothers and hurting us.

“Khalid, take her away from here,” I said, stopping him in his path.

He glared at me, raising his hand, which I held back with my strength. At least the lessons we had learned to fight wouldn’t go to waste. I heard Khalid calling out my name, but it was too late.

I hissed in pain, dropping to my knees when his cane struck the back of my knee, my legs giving out underneath me. I held his leg when he tried to walk past me. “Don’t be reckless, Father. She is your daughter.”

He huffed, pulling his leg from my grip. “That monster is not my daughter. You should watch how you talk to me, boy; you don’t want to end up like her, do you?”

I warned Khalid once again, not seeing the cane until it was too late. I squeezed my eyes shut when my head throbbed with the pain, my hand lifting to my head as I felt warm liquid rushing out. I blinked at the red coating my fingers, my vision blurring when I tried to stop him. Stop the monster my father had become.

But I couldn’t.

When I managed to stand up, it was too late. Blood turned the Egyptian rug red, the guilty and scared look of Khalid where he stood frozen in front of Zara’s little body. Across him was the slumped body of our father, blood staining his tunic as Khalid pulled out the sword with weak hands. His voice was shaky when he whispered ‘baba.’

No, no, no.

I blinked again, staggering towards them and watching our father fall back on the rug, Khalid’s eyes wide with shock as Zara tried her best to swallow her scream.

She hugged Khalid, my eyes averting to the sword dripping with crimson blood. I took it from his cold hand and whispered, “It’s okay, Khalid. Zara. It’s okay.”

Tears slid down my younger brother’s face as he shook his head. “It’s not. It’s my fault. I… I killed—”

“No. I did.” I forced out those words, holding the freezing sword in my hand.

I wouldn’t let Khalid live with the blood of our father hanging over his head all his life. I would take the blame. I would get executed, knowing my brother and sister were safe.

His eyes widened, knowing what I was doing. Zara held my palm, her big hazel eyes gleaming with tears as she stared between the two of us. At least she wasn’t hurt.

“It’s okay, Khalid. Take care of Zara,” I whispered, hearing the rush of footsteps coming towards the room.

Rahim opened the doors and before I could say anything, I heard a whisper and a shuffle, the sword being taken from me.

Khalid stood before me, my eyes wide with fear and shock when he said, “I did this. I killed my father. The Sultan of Azmia is dead.”

***

Khalid looked at me, his head shaking. “You know you don’t have to do all of it by yourself, Zain.”

“You have done enough, Khalid, I don’t want to—”

“Do you blame yourself for what happened?” he asked.

Zayed took a sharp breath, standing up and knowing what we were talking about. He knew what had happened. He had followed Rahim that night and had seen everything.

I bit out, “You don’t know what or how I feel when it comes to marrying and having children of my own.”

“You are deflecting the subject, dear brother.” Khalid took a step towards me, “You are not your—”

“You don’t know what it feels like to be the Sultan, Khalid,” I said, stopping whatever he wanted to say, pushing his shoulder as I walked past him and out of the room.

I didn’t want to end up like my father. I didn’t want to hurt my wife, my children and turn out to be like him. Or something worse.

The heady sound of the music made me feel present as I made my way downstairs. I needed something strong to drink. I needed to forget about that night. The scared expressions of Khalid and Zara. The guilt of not protecting them when they needed me the most. I needed to forget everything. Especially the pressing weight of getting married and siring children for the crown.

I weaved my way through the crowd to reach the bar. The club was more crowded than ever, everyone celebrating Zara’s nineteenth birthday. Speaking of my sister, where was she? She had told us she would be in the club. Maybe I should check up on her first—

“You look so sexy,” I heard a man slur, hiccupping when he tried to wrap his arm around a beautiful brunette dressed in a gorgeous black dress. Her golden skin glowed under the club lights.

“I am not interested,” she said clearly, her voice sultry. Honeyed.

My palms started sweating. I frowned, looking at them. I hadn’t even seen her face, and I was getting nervous. Shaking my head, I continued on my way, trying to ignore her when I heard the drunk man's words that made me stop dead in my tracks.

“Then why are you dressed like that?”

I spoke while walking towards them, “Because it’s her body and she can dress however she wants.” I glared at him, my voice loud and clear, “Leave before I call security and have you arrested.”

He took a step back. “Who are you to step between us? I was just asking to dance with her.”

My body hummed with satisfaction of fear that I was about to get when I parted my lips to answer his question. “I am the—”

But I never could finish my sentence.

“He is my husband, right, darling?”

Read today: https://www.mahimistry.com

Or Join my Patreon to read it: https://www.patreon.com/mahimistry

Patreon * Website * Ko-Fi * Instagram * All Links

#dirty wild sultan #bookblr #bookstagram #booktok #book recommendations #smut #suggestive #spicy books #spicy reads #patreon #fiction #royal romance #marriage of convenience #arranged marriage #romance books #book blog #romance series #romance author #romance story

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literallycreativelylit · 5 months ago

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Update on Life (Not Clickbait)

Sorry, feeling goofy with the title. Hello, and welcome back to my blog! Didn’t mean to go AWOL for so long. Or at all, to be frank. Then again, I guess no one plans to stop indulging their hobbies. I’m going to spare you of two things: the details of my personal life over the past year and a half, and a promise of a regular content schedule. I’m trying to take a different approach to my…

#amazon #Aquarius #become a patron #blog #book #book series #halloween #kindle #ko-fi #october #Patreon #samhain #Saturn Rising #Schedule #store #support #support bloggers #support writers #Taurus

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titsthedamnseason · 6 months ago

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i know i keep saying it but i have to again because i just finished misfits. down bad is SUUUUUUCH a luna hale song. it fits so perfectly with the agony she feels when donnelly has to tell her “not yet” and that they can’t even be friends in the meantime 🥲💔

#she was so down bad and then suddenly halfway through the book she gets down badder #THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IM EVERY GOING TO BE REREADING WHAT HAPPENED AND IM SO SCARED #i read some of the bonus content that was on patreon for it but that’s it #i’m so afraid #mine #like us series

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fictionalfantasies · 11 months ago

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(NOW ON AMAZON) The Zodiac Series: Capricorn Sketch & Activity Book!

Thanks to @book_bolt and @amazonbooks for bringing my dream to life of having my own physical book I put together. It's #smallcontent but hopefully our girl Adena will have her own physical book as well! you can still read #capricorn on @wattpad @tumblr and @patreon! check the #linkinbio to order this activity and sketchbook from yours truly. thanks in advance for all your support!

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wanderingandfound · 2 years ago

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I have missed the vast majority of the "cozy horror" discourse and like, I'm fine with that because I don't really care all that much about publishing labels and subgenres. But like, I do believe in only using the broad labels if it applies. A book is not Romance (the genre) if it does not have a happily ever after/happily for now. A book is not Horror if it is not trying to be horrifying. Romantic and horrific plots and elements can be part of any story and any genre, but elements do not a genre make.

Anyways, disclaimer done, the point of this post is that as someone whose main genre is fantasy, I love reading about ghosts in non-horror stories. Give me more fucked up creatures and musings on personhood please.

#Like when I do read/listen to horror it's because something in the premise got my attention and that premise is usually identity or magic.#Read a well-praised blog post on the kerfuffle and like.... sounds like this person knows much more than I.#But a single line about how people became anti ''grimdark'' had me thinking about how even though I read the first ASOIAF book and I got #book 2 from the library but returned it unread... there's never been a pitch for that series that got me interested besides ''extremely #popular fantasy series'' and none of the discussion or analysis or spoilers I've seen have piqued my interest either.#Meanwhile I'm not a horror or a thriller person but I will venture into some horrors because they sound interesting.#I love Alice Isn't Dead. I Am In Eskew and the Silt Verses are on my to-listen list. I support Hi Nay on Patreon (although I am behind).#I haven't listened to enough Hello from the Hallowoods to decide if I think it's horror or not yet. Of all the podcasts I've listened to #it's the one that had captured the most Night Vale vibes (and yet is still incredibly distinct!) of having horror elements in a narrative #that I have found both unsettling and comforting.#personal #liveblogging stories #tasker.land/2023/06/13/the-material-basis-for-cozy-horror #<- That's the blog post I read this morning.

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wiltking · 1 year ago

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finished Point of Sighs. hhrmmmgggmhnh 🫠 criticisms first - this one felt like the least polished out of the bunch (a few weak sections and the most typos by far), and Point of Hopes + Dreams are still the strongest novels in the series overall. That being said i still thorougly enjoyed Sighs and furthermore it has to be be one of my favorites (just dont ask me to rank them. please please please) in terms of the mood, the players, the shifting dynamics like river currents, the murky watery (somewhat horrifying) murderous mystery, the bathhouse scenes (all two of them!!), the nightly rituals of a couple that is growing into love, and the positions of the very stars themselves. and as always - the city that breathes and seethes with life from every corner and shadow and decrepit undercity tunnel. it has been an honor to spend time with rathe and eslingen, to peek momentarily into their increasingly interwoven lives. and i hope, fervently, desperately (oh my god i miss them already) that this isnt goodbye

#apparently melissa scott has an astreiant patreon and wants to continue the series. soooooo #kind of big #i love them i love this series i love this city. so very much. do you understand #Have i made myself clear #🫠 (agony agony agony that there arent already 5 more books out and ready to read. but grateful for what i have experienced up to here)#(and for finding another author i can add onto my mental top shelf)#gonna go order more of her books in the morning 🫠#book thoughts #astreiant

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shizukasmack · 2 years ago

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Finally using my Patreon! Added some spicy self love celebration art AND I’m gonna start doing some leaks from Computer Love along with SpeedComics for each piece I preview.

Sigh, I’m trying out here.

PATREON | ONLYFANS

#smack #sean mack #illustration #artists on tumblr #patreon #red series #red book

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joncronshawauthor · 1 month ago

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🏰 New Year, New Chapters: Updates on The Ravenglass Throne | Author Diary – January 3, 2025 📚✨

Happy New Year! I’m back at work on The Ravenglass Throne and making great progress—Book 5 is nearly complete, and Book 1 has returned from the editor. I’ve gone through the edits, and I’m thrilled to announce that I’ll start posting episodes on Patreon starting Monday! This fast-paced epic fantasy series, set in the Ravenglass Universe, will have new episodes releasing every Monday, Wednesday,…

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#book marketing #Doppelganger book #epic fantasy series #fantasy author diary #fantasy book updates #fantasy writing 2025 #fast-paced fantasy #Naomi Klein #Patreon episodes #Patreon exclusive #Ravenglass series #Ravenglass Universe #The Ravenglass Throne #YA fantasy

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roselinbooks · 5 months ago

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I did it. I finally read and reviewed Fourth Wing. It's nearly an hour long...

Thank you to my patron Jeanet for requesting it! ...back in April...it took me a really long time to get my library hold in, in fairness.

#bookblr #books #fourth wing #empyrean series #book review #patreon

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venusdian · 5 months ago

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I. Junis' Awakening

Junis stood on the poorly painted wooden porch. Police sirens were coming from a distance. The beautiful skies didn’t match the tone of the events that occurred. Junis’ mother, Janis' curdling screams echoed throughout the neighborhood as people started rushing out of their houses. Her mother held her older brother, Sylas in her arms. His dark brown eyes were glued to his mother as blood was coming out the side of his mouth. He coughs, and his blood splatters on Janis’ face as she cradles her baby boy.

Junis watches as the police sped down the street. The bright white ambulance parked in front of their house. Junis’ vision becomes blurry as she can feel the room spinning. She tries to hold onto the crooked staircase, but her hand slips, and falls down the stairs as everything fades to black.

Junis springs up from her queen-size mattress. The quilt that covered her was now messily laid on the floor. Junis begins to pant, trying to catch her breath as sweat coats her face. She exits the bed and rushes into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her and waking up her roommate, Síauna Rivera. Junis’ hands firmly grip the white porcelain skin.

She looked down at the sink. Her eyes were watering. Síauna knocked on the bathroom door, making sure her roommate was alright.

“Junis?” She calls out. Her tone was laced with concern but was a bit harsh as she just woke up. Junis stayed silent, softly sniffling.

“Junie… Do you want to talk about it?” Síauna asks. Junis softly sighs, shaking her head.

“No, I’m ok,” Junis answers, lifting her head and looking in the mirror.

“You sure? This is your third nightmare this week…” Síauna asks, leaning the side of her head on the bathroom door. Junis looks away from the mirror, letting her hands go from the sink. She wipes her eyes and walks to the door. She opens the door. Síauna stumbles slightly into the bathroom.

“I’m ok,” Junis assures her. She walks to her bed. She slips on her Black furry slides and takes her phone off the charger. Síauna sits on her bed, watching Junis getting prepared to leave.

“Junie, where are you going? It’s almost three am.”

“I’m just gunna take a drive around campus,” Junis mutters, grabbing her Tupac hoodie and slipping over her sports bra. Síauna skeptically looks at her.

“Are you going to see Cassius? You know, he has a girlfriend.” Junis shrugs.

“What does that have to do with me?” She questions as she grabs her glasses off the nightstand.

“I thought you were focusing on yourself this year.” Junis hums and looks over at Síauna.

“I am.”

“How if you’re going to bother the same man who won’t break up with his girlfriend, but claims to be so in love with you?”

“I’m not looking for sex… I’m looking for comfort.”

“OK, you can just go to Vemini, or you know… Talk to me! I am your roommate.” Síauna points out. Síauna's thick Puerto Rican accent heightens with agitation. Junis sighs, walking towards the door.

“Ju, I don’t know how long I can keep this secret from Zy’onna. You know, she’s captain of the dance team… The Same dance team that I’m on!” Junis shrugs.

“Who says you have to keep it a secret? I never asked you to cover for me. I’m a big girl, I can handle Zy’onna, and besides, like I said, we’re not fucking… He’s just great at comforting me.” Junis argues. Síauna, feeling defeated, sighs.

“Just let me know when you get there.” Junis opens the door, nodding.

“Will do.” Junis leaves the Dorm room, closing the door behind her. Síauna gets back into bed, worriedly sighing to herself.

“She just doesn’t know how crazy Zy’onna is… She’ll learn soon enough.” She mutters before turning on her side and quickly going to sleep.

Junis pressed the down button on the elevator and leaned back, waiting for the double doors to open. She unlocks her iPhone and opens her Phone app. She presses Cassius' name and begins calling Cassius.

Meanwhile, Cassius couldn’t sleep, so he was up playing the game on the PS5 with his roommate, Taurus, when his Samsung began to vibrate. Cassius looks over at the coffee table and nudges Taurus, who is glued to the TV screen.

“Aye, T pass me the phone.”

“Hell nah, It’s just a ploy to beat me again.” Cassius rolls his eyes.

“Nah, nigga my phone is ringing.” Taurus quickly looks at Cassius, who appears serious, before clicking his tongue and gesturing him away.

“Mane, whatever nigga.” Cassius rolls his eyes, getting up from his bean bag chair and leaning over Taurus, grabbing his phone from the coffee Table. He saw he had two missing calls from Junis and grew worried.

“I’ma be right back. I need to call someone real quick.” Taurus waves him off. Cassius goes to the back of his bedroom, calling Junis back. A couple of rings and Junis picks up the phone, without missing a beat, Cassius immediately asks her.

“You had another nightmare?” Junis softly sighs, nodding.

“Yeah..”

“You wanna come over?” Junis chuckles to herself.

“Uhm if that’s ok with you…”

“I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t Ju.” Junis softly smiles.

“Thanks, I’m on the way.”

“Alright, I’ll get the bed set up.” Junis hums then hangs up the call. Cassius returns to the living room, grabs the Roku remote, and turns off the TV. Taurus lets out a flustered groan and looks back at Cassius.

“NIGGA, WHAT THE FUCK!?”

“Junis is coming over…”

“Ok, and? She knows I live here. Why we gotta act brand new?” Cassius rolls his eyes.

“T, don’t start. You know, Ju is going through a lot.” Taurus rolls his eyes.

“She’s still grieving about something that happened almost four years ago. I mean, I get it. It sucks to watch your blood die. I know what it’s like, but you acting like that’s yo bitch or something.” Taurus argues. Cassius let out a flustered groan.

“I just want this to be a safe space for her, ight?” Taurus rolls his eyes and gets up.

“You know, that’s not your job. You have a whole girlfriend. Zy’onna would be pissed if she found out her nigga snuggling up with some bitch.” Cassius glares at Taurus.

“Junis is not some bitch, so cool it with that shit.” Taurus sighs, unmoved by Cassius’ protectiveness over Junis.

“Well, she ain’t yo bitch either…” Taurus points out.

“What? You want her or some shit?” Taurus amusingly chuckles, shaking his head.

“Nah, I’m good, but clearly you want her.” Cassius rolls his eyes.

“Ok, your point is?”

“You gotta choose… Either Zy’onna or Junis.” Cassius looks at Taurus, shocked by how sensible he’s acting. He places his backhand on Taurus’ forehead playfully. Taurus swats his hand away as Cassius chuckles.

“Nigga, is you good? This is the most sense you’ve made… Well, EVER!” Taurus rolls his eyes, crossing his arms.

“As Much as I’m a player myself. I happen to like Junis, as a friend. She’s cool peoples. Plus, I’m trying to get with Vemini, and I don’t need you fucking up my game, cause you can’t choose.” Cassius looks at him in disbelief, shaking his head.

“Nigga, you not even Vemini’s type.” Taurus scoffs.

“She just hasn’t tried me yet so I could prove her wrong.” Cassius burst out in laughter. Taurus furrows his eyebrows, confused by Cassius’ amusement.

“What’s funny?” Junis knocks on the door. Cassius walks to the door, shaking his head.

“Unless you move weight or are in a gang? She’s not looking yo way.” Cassius explains, opening the door to see Junis with her hoodie over her head. Cassius looks down at the five-foot-two woman. He bit his bottom lip as he always found her short stature sexy.

“Are you just gunna stand there and Eye fuck me or let me in?” Junis asks with a slight grin. Cassius clears his throat and moves to the side as Junis enters the apartment.

“Hey, T!” Junis greets him as Taurus gives her a slight head nod. Junis looks over at Cassius, slightly worried.

“Did I interrupt something?” Taurus puts his finger up to explain the previous event, but Cassius harshly elbows him, causing Taurus to clutch his stomach and crouch down.“No, I’ll meet you in the bedroom.” Junis furrows her eyebrows, perplexed by what is happening, but once Taurus gives her a reassuring thumbs up, she leaves the living room, heading towards the bedroom. Cassius shoots a warning glare at Taurus.

“You know, you didn’t have to elbow me. A simple shut up would’ve been fine.” Cassius rolls his eyes, walking to his bedroom.

“USE CONDOMS!” Taurus exclaims. Cassius embarrassingly looks down, muttering obscenities, hoping Junis didn’t hear that. He enters his bedroom. Junis is lying on his bed, on top of his red Redland blanket, on her stomach, on her phone. Cassius grins to himself, walking over to her and smacking her butt. Junis jumps in shock and shoots a glare at Cassius. Cassius slightly chuckles, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“What? I can’t help that all that ass was in my face, and besides… That shit is mines anyways. Why can’t I have the luxury to feel on it?” Junis sits up on the bed, softly sighing to herself.

“We need to talk…” Junis uncomfortably starts. Cassius furrows his eyebrows, confused.

“What?”

“We can’t keep doing this…” Cassius scoots closer, wrapping his arm around her waist.

“Doing what?”

“This!” Junis emphasizes, scooting away from Cassius.

“I don’t get it… What’s the issue?”

“The issue is you have a girlfriend, and I can’t keep being a Side piece. The first two years were cool. I enjoyed your company, and I wasn’t ready for a relationship. But we’re getting older, and I want to focus on myself…” Cassius rolls his eyes, unmoved by her speech. Junis does this often. When she comes to her senses, she decides that they can no longer fuck and can only strictly be friends.

Cassius was not buying it this time, nor will he the next time. Junis will never date anyone else. Cassius was too selfish to share her with anyone else. Junis was always gunna be his, and there was nothing anybody could do about it. Being with Junis gave him a high that he couldn’t explain…

Cassius has wanted Junis since they were little kids playing in the gritty streets of Aurora City. They never got together because they grew apart and were part of separate cliques. Cassius became a jock, and Junis was the outcast. She liked being alone, and he liked the attention of his peers, but Junis continuously plagued his mind. Even when he got with Zy’onna, his peers were envious that he was able to bag the “Princess of Riverdale.

But eventually, the thrill of bagging a girl like her wore off, and the obsession of Junis came back. So when they shared the same science class and assigned partners for a group project, he took his chance and ran with it. He knew she was a bit vulnerable with the passing of her brother, but he wanted to be there for her and be the support system that she needed.

And well, it leads to them having sex and a weird, complicated relationship.

You may question why Cassius doesn't break up with Zy'onna? If he's so in love with Junis. Well, Cassius was with her because of Guilt. Cassius felt awful that he was cheating on her, and he thought if he played into her fantasy of a perfect life, that was the least he could do. And well, he needed a back plan if he and Junis didn’t work out.

Cassius was very meticulous when it came to his life. Everything had a plan A and a plan B. He already lost Junis before, what's to say he wouldn’t lose her again?

Cassius leans in, kissing on her neck. Junis pushes him away, sternly looking at him.

“Cass, I’m so serious. No.” Cassius rolls his eyes, annoyed.

“Ju, you always do this…” He pauses, scooting closer to Junis, with no space between them. Junis leans back. Cassius pressures forward until Junis is lying on her back. Their eyes lock, and a small smile creeps on Cassius’ face.

“You know, I love you, right?” Junis, tantalized by Cassius' dark emerald eyes, nods.

“I know you love me too. Stop stressing yourself.” He softly cooed as he leaned forward, letting their lip engage in a dangerous tango of lust and romance.

The Next day…

The blue, sheer curtain did not stop the bright sun from coming through the white blinds, waking up Junis. She softly yawns, realizing Cassius’ muscular arms encased around her. Her head rested on his bare chest, listening to the soft, heavy breathing of Cassius. She loved hearing him sleep. He sounded so peaceful. She carefully gets out of his arms and sits up beside him. She looks down at him, guilt-ridden.

She meant what she said last night. She didn’t want to be his sidepiece. She didn’t want to do the back and forth anymore. She needed to focus on herself and work through her grief on her own. She always said that. This time, she needed to put her words into action. Cassius was never leaving Zy’onna, and that was the unfortunate reality. She carefully got out of bed and crept around, gathering her clothes.

Cassius could feel that bed got lighter. The weight shift caused Cassius to stir in his sleep. Junis was so focused on getting dressed. Little did she know, Cassius was stirring from his slumber. When Cassius opens his eyes, he sees Junis getting dressed. Confused, he sits up, letting out a loud yawn, startling Junis. Junis quickly turns and nervously chuckles.

“You scared me, Cass!”

“Why you getting dressed? You don’t have class till the afternoon.”

“Because I should get going…” Cassius chuckles. Cassius gets on all fours and crawls closer to Junis, standing at the edge of his bed.

“But you’re gunna miss my famous French toast.” He teased, but Junis wasn’t smiling back. She looked remorseful.

“Ju, you good?”

“Cass, I love you.” She trails. Cassius knew what was next, aggravatingly kissing his teeth.

“Ju, not this shit again.” Junis shakes her head.

“Cass, I mean it.”

“I’m not letting you go!” Cassius argues.

“Just like you can’t let go of Zy’onna!” Junis exclaims. Cassius sits up, taken aback by Junis’ tone. He felt guilty as Junis had a point.

“Ju…” He starts, but Junis shakes her head.

“Your actions speak louder than the words you speak. It isn't fair to Zy’onna if I keep interfering with what you guys have.”

“JU WE HAVE NOTHING!” Cassius frustratingly shouts.

“If that’s the case, why are you still with her?” Junis calmly asks. Cassius opens his mouth, but Junis’ phone begins to vibrate. She looks down and sees Vemini calling. She answers the call, getting up.

“Wassup, Vee?”

“Aye, you going to Dr. Lambert’s class today?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Can you take notes for me for the class?” Junis pauses, looking back at Cassius. They share one last intense stare before she leaves his bedroom, closing the door behind her. She left again. Cassius thought to himself. His eyes began to water. He lost her again…

“Why do you need me to take notes for you?”

“Well…” Vemini bites her bottom lip as she looks over at Wootie, leaning back in the driver’s seat with one hand on the wheel and the other gripping her thighs.

“I’m out with Wootie…” Junis rolls her eyes, shaking her head as she leaves Cassius’ apartment.

“You gunna fail if you keep being up under that man!” Junis slightly scolds. Vemini rolls her eyes and waves Junis off.

“Gurl bye! As long as I have my cousin Junie helping me out, I’ll pass.” Junis rolls her eyes.

“Well, I’ll do it for you, but you owe me,”

“Aight, aight fine! I love you, cuzzo!” Junis smiles, nodding.

“Love you too.” Junis hangs up the phone, and Vemini looks over at Wootie, grinning.

“I got my cuzzo covering for me. So, I’m all free!” Wootie chuckles, shaking his head.

“You can’t keep missing class, ma. I don’t want no dumb bitch.” Vemini rolls her eyes.

“I’ma still get my degree, stop sweatin’ me.” Wootie sighs.

“You know, I just care ‘bout chu, ya know?” Vemini blushes, nodding.

“I know you do, papa.” She cutely replies, her voice in a slightly higher pitch. Wootie looks over at Vemini’s big purple eyes. Her eyes always did something to him. He huffed to himself, shaking his head while Vemini enjoyed the battle of arousal he was fighting with himself.

“Hmm, anyways I gotta make a play real quick, and then, we’ll go to Fun Stop.” Vemini nods. She opens the glove compartment, grabs the leather gloves, slips them on her hand, and grabs the leather holster that held the Smith and Wesson luger pistol. Wootie looks over and sees Vemini on go, which arouses him even more. He loved how down-to-ride Vemini was.

That was his rider, and "That’s on GD", he would say.

Junis sits in her car, staring at the building she just left, feeling the same pain that she felt when she lost her brother. She felt like she lost a piece of herself and regretted the decision to distance herself from Cassius. She felt so alone now that she removed him from her life. She rests her head on the steering wheel, holding back tears. She softly sniffles to herself.

Although Cassius was never hers, this felt like a breakup. She loves Cassius. She really does, but she’s not going to heal if she keeps using Cassius as a crutch every time she has a nightmare or needs to feel affection from a man. She was only hurting herself because no matter how much they said their ” I love Yous.” Or their “I need yous.” One thing remained the same; He was still with Zy’onna.

And there was nothing that she could do about it, but put herself first and leave the situation. Junis lifts her head, leaning against the headrest, fighting her tears. She was sad but also angry. Why was she crying over this situation?! She was mad that this situation was affecting her so much.

She takes a deep breath, and her phone begins to play “I Just Called to Say I Love You” By Stevie Wonder. Her mother was calling her. She clears her throat and makes sure she doesn’t sound like she is in distress. The last thing she wanted her mother to do was stress over her. Her mother had enough on her plate, she thought to herself. She answers the call.

“Hey, ma,” Junis says, trying to sound happy, but Janis knew her baby girl all too well. That small crack in her voice said otherwise.

“June bug, what’s wrong?” Her mother asked, concerned. Junis softly sighs.

“Ma, don’t worry about me. I’m fine.. How are you?”

“Don’t change the subject, June bug! Tell me, what’s wrong.” Junis sighs, knowing how persistent her mother was, and lets out a defeated sigh.

“Ma… Why does love hurt?” Junis asks. Her mother hums softly, nodding to herself.

“Well, June bug… I don’t have the answer to that. I wished I knew why love hurts, but I do know this.”

“What?”

“That the pain doesn’t last forever. I know it feels like it does, but after a while, it gets better and you soon realize that things happen for a reason. June bug, you’re still young and have a lot to experience. You’re gunna get hurt and disappointed a lot in life, but baby girl, dust off your shoulder and lift up your head. You will rise above this.” Junis sniffles, smiling at her mother’s wisdom.

“I don’t know how you’re so strong mom…” Junis admits, envious of her mother’s strength. Janis chuckles, shaking her head.

“I still have my weak moments, Ju. But neither your father nor your brother would want us moping around.” Janis reasons. Junis softly smiles, nodding.

“Yeah, you're right, and don’t let Sylas know I was crying over a boy, he might just haunt them,” Junis says, lightening up the mood. Her mother chuckles.

“Yeah, you're right. Are you feeling better, June bug?” Junis hums.

“A little, but I’ll get over it.” Janis smiles widely.

“Good! Well, I just called you on my lunch break to check in on you. I’ll call you when I get off.” Junis hums, nodding.

“Ok, don’t work too hard, ma.” Janis lets out a half chuckle.

“Those bills don’t pay themselves.”

“Ma, I still haven’t spent my leftover FASFA mo—”

“Oh, look at the time! I have to go! Love you! Bye!” Janis quickly says, hanging up the phone on Junis. Junis looks at her phone screen, appalled that her mother hung up the phone. She chuckles to herself, shaking her head. She puts her phone in the cup holder and starts up her car.

She stares at Cassius’ building one last time before smiling to herself…

It hurts now, but ultimately, it will be all worth it.

AVAILABLE ON PATREON AND INKITT

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