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sofia: exists me: SCREAMS

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IF YOU’RE CRAZY,   THEN WE’RE ALL CRAZY.

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WROTELOSER.

      ❛     well, well, well.  you miss the  sign by the door, beeverly?  ❜   voice is laced with venom, dripping with mock interest.  greta takes several steps towards the red head, the distance between the two in the isle closing within a matter of seconds.    ❛     mister keene might not have printed it directly on the sign, but i’m sure girls like you shouldn’t be here.  a pharmacy can only have so much pregnancy tests, right?     ❜

@menstral !

   FOR HOW MUCH   she tries to remain unaffected,    the sight of  GRETA BOWIE  still shakes up the marsh girl !       HOW EMBARRASSING !     heart skips a beat as blonde hair comes into sight   -   though she remains stone - faced,   blue eyes just barely widen,   muscles just barely  t e n s e,   she dares to step backwards  one - two - three  steps.       “  i’m not looking for trouble,  ”   she replies calmly,    voice low & quiet  for the sake of the  otherwise  peaceful pharmacy.     “  and i’m not buying any TESTS.                        ─ but good job on figuring out there’s a limit.  ”    a real martyr.

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  THEY’RE JUST SITTING  together !      silence far from uncomfortable,    magazines  /  comics spread around them,    beverly’s piercing blue eyes have drifted from the pages of  TEEN BEAT  to pale,  bespectacled face.     she thinks a long time,   eyes squinting with the question :     “  can i try your glasses?  ”

@vitrioli

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FUCKING-TRASHMOUTH.

“Man——what’s the fuckin’ point if the chicks aren’t naked? I mean, who actually wants to look at pictures of mostly naked chicks?! No tits, no ass——no fuckin’ nothin’! Jesus!”

   “  LEAVING SOMETHING   to the imagination ?  ”     she suggests,    as if it’s  OBVIOUS.    but she looks at him,   too,   like she’s the last person to ask   (  nevermind the explosive nature of the question  ).      “  i think they figure you guys are smart enough to figure out what’s underneath.  ”

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PIGBLOOD.

YOU   EVER  WANTED  TO  TURN  INTO  A  GHOST   ?         she’ll float  away  in  a  cloud  of  dust   ,  never  to  be  seen ———-    a   whisper   in   the  air .            INVISIBLE  TO  ALL  .        stories  soar  quick  ,  bound  in  contempt  and  child   -   like  play  .        they   hate  her  .   everyone  does  !         scrawled  lazily  along  the  wall  in  the  student  bathroom  reads  the  crude  words        CARRIE  WHITE  EATS  SHIT  .     girls  tease  and  taunt ,     sentences  spat  like venom  .     boys  knock  into  her  in  the  halls  ,       stuffing  obscene notes  in  the  thin  opening  of  her  locker  .   (     *  they  tell   her  things  she’d  never  repeat      )  

 the   kids   think   I’m   funny  ,  momma  .       they  laugh  at  me  !       and  she’ll   look  up   from   table  with  a  startled  wince  ,           as  if  expecting  the  other  girl  to  slam  a  fist  to  her  cheek  .      FEARFUL   ,    wide  eyed  doe  .          now  she  would  blink  ,     only  once  ,      surprise  engulfing  her  ,       along  with  the  worry  .   the  itching  worry  that  this   girl  ,  this  Beverly ,        is  only  playing  one   big  , cruel   joke  on  her  .       like   the  boys  that  ask  you  out  on  a  date ,       only  to  stifle  a  chuckle  as  their  grinning  buddies  watch  from  the  sidelines  .    they  mock  you  .       ❛        really      ?        ❜          voice  is  meek  ,   barely  audible  ,  but  the  soft   /  subtle  smile         (     *  the  smile   you   never  see  .  the  smile  so  rare     )       that  blooms  is  assuring  nothing  but  agreement  to  her  offer  .     ❛          yeah  .   yeah ,   I’d  like  that  .    my   name’s     Carrie  .    ❜

    RUMORS SCRAWLED UPON   bathroom walls.      her own sharpie taken to scrawlings by strangers who found her phone number      (   HER FATHER PICKED UP ONCE !   ).     girls who pound on the doors  &  tell her to   COME ON OUT,   BEAVERLY !!     approaching someone else   -   someone new  -  is new  &  the uncertainty shows.    it’s the fear fleeting behind carrie’s eyes that convinces her this  MUST  be worth it.    red - head no longer lets such fear show ;    she tries not to think that other  girls  are feeling it ;   her stomach is unsettled.                no response is given to the question     -     REALLY ?     -     but a small smile crosses pink lips to match hers.  it doesn’t reach all the way to her eyes,    but she  tries.      “  carrie white,     i know.  ”     CRINGE !     eyes stick down to her tray of food,    she slides into the seat across from other girl.      “  i mean.  .  .   yeah,   i’ve heard of you.  ”    no fixing it.    they both  k n o w  where they lie on the social ladder.   honesty pours from bev without much thought.      “  it’s nice to meet you.  ”     DIDN’T THINK SHE’D GET SO FAR !    she knows she would be wary in carrie’s place.      “    ah . . .     yeah.  ”

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LEADSLOSERS.

@menstral liked for a starter ! // s.c.

  beverly marsh is a different kind of girl.

  you couldn’t ask him to explain it, because he’d have no words - they’re beyond his vocabulary, lost, meaningless sounds in the world of language and understanding. her radiance transcends everything, and he’s noticed it for a long time - before the school play, when they were cast, long before that. and while he can’t describe exactly what it is, he knows it’s POWERFUL.

  and she’s one of his best friends, so naturally, it isn’t that much of a stretch to ask her to hang out after school. even if he walks from his last class like he’s on some kind of MISSION - even if he takes a few seconds to breathe and collect himself before approaching her. “ beverly, ” he greets, as he hikes up the too-many books he’s carrying under his arm. one of the very few names he doesn’t trip over. “ do y-yuh-you wanna - i m-mean, d-d-do you- ” ( not again, bill, goddamn it. )

     SO MUCH AS A GLANCE   at  stuttering bill & beaverly marsh  said all anyone needed to know.  even a girl so  DIFFICULT  to read on first sight   (  especially in school,   where cool & unbothered stares became her modus operandi  ),    she finds that she likes being around bill    -    around  a l l  the losers but some found a quicker way to her heart.                slim fingers are wrapped loosely ‘round the straps of her bag,   a small spring in her step as she   -   one of hundreds   -    makes her way out of the school,   heading straight for looming apartment.    the girl smiles at the boy when he comes to her    -    “  hey bill  ”   -   is quick  &  soft,    listening contently.     and she’s  patient  with his stammering.    call it  tactless  or  kindness,    she does nothing but  L O O K  at him !      waiting for bill to get the rest out.

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BEATSDEVIL.

    PURE     /     GENTLE  !    blue eyes trace the soft edges of her expression.     ‘ y - you   don’t have to   teh - tell   me,   bev - beverly.    i know. ‘

    NOTORIOUSLY HARD   to read,    soft eyes stare out distantly.      she trust him !   she’s comfortable !     she’s never felt it for a boy before.      “   i know   -    i just,   ”     she didn’t  KNOW .    but she wanted to believe.    “  i didn’t.    not  ANY of it.     especially not.  .  .   henry.  ”

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    “   IT’S NOT TRUE,   you know,   what they say about me.   ”

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tagged by;; some1 did but i forget who soRRy ily guys tagging;; @beatsdevil @leadslosers @clownlike anyone else !!!

a .  age :  18 b .  birthplace :  california c .  current  time : 8:25 pm d .  drink  you  had  last :  coke zero e .  easiest  person(s)  to  talk  to :  uhh h hh my bes friend f .  favorite  song(s) :  so many but uhhh rn i’m diggin nellie by dr dog h .  horror  yes  or  horror  no :  yES!!!!! i .  in  love ? :  no sir j .  jealous  of  people :  sometimes?? not v often k .  killed  someone :  well l .  love  at  first  sight  or  should  i  walk  by  again ? :  try one more time m .  middle  name :  elizabeth n .  number  of  siblings :  2 o .  one  wish :  pizza q .  question  you’re  always  asked :  can i get a ride to ____? r .  reason(s)  to  smile :  i have raviolis yo s .  song  you  sang  last :  know ur enemy from american idiot the original broadway cast  t .  top  3  fictional  characters :  max berber, holden caulfield, sally bowles u .  underwear  &  color :   grey panties w/ mint hearts v .  vacation :  i rly wanna go to europe w .  when’s  your  birthday :   july 11 x .  x - rays :  just dental y .  your  favorite  food :  spaghetti & garlic bread z .  zodiac  sign :  cancer

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CLOWNLIKE.

        NOT THE FIRST TIME. it is not the first time IT has been in her apartment. it is not the first time that IT has peered clear through the walls via those lights deep inside that confining human-like frame to find the girl in her room - like a heat sensor or a radar.  it is also not the first time that IT has tried to take her away ( JUST FOLLOW THE DRAIN ).

        shoulders are slumped , long & lanky arms hanging like those of a ragdoll as IT saunters down the hallway towards the last room.  a DEAD END in a place full of opened doors ( especially when that father of hers isn’t anywhere to be seen ).  but IT stops.  right outside.  face nearly touching the white wooden surface.  close enough so that the blood red markings upon CLOWN face are nearly projected onto the surface.  a funny little voice with a twinge of joy tied in , “ HELLOOO ? ” hand raises , fingers curled into knuckles.  three raps upon the door. “ KNOCK KNOCK. ”

     SHE HEARS THE VOICE  &  is certain it must hear her heart stop.     WHAT DOES SHE SAY TO THAT?      for once in her life,   she finds herself  wishing  her father were home    (  he would protect her,   wouldn’t he?   from a  MONSTER  ;    at least that  ).    breath catches in her throat   -    every bone in her body says   R U N !!!      but where to ?     she is trapped in the little space of her bedroom.    derry elementary’s  THE FROG PRINCE  sits on her desk   -   she is surrounded by past  &  present ,   and her future lies somewhere far outside her bedroom.             the shock wanes,   as it must,    and she  KICKS  blankets away to unplug lamp and grip it tight between her hands.     make - shift weapon  is obtained  and  bare feet  step  backwards  within  S E C O N D S  of  the  voice    (  already,  it’s felt like eternity  ).        “  go away,  ”    she demands,  it comes out with more of a shake than she intended.    fingers tremble  &  blue eyes do not dare leave the door.      she tries again,    firmer.     “ fuck off.  ”

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BEATSDEVIL.

HE IS NOT PRONE TO THESE OUTBURSTS     but pure rage sends stuttering boy into a quick pace,     hands dancing against a gentle breeze,     vocals tremor and spittle flies from his lips.     he has been targeted by a bowers lackey,     and at his feet,     SILVER     lay.     the wheels of the great beast have been flattened by tacks.     he’d caught victor criss pressing them in,     and the peroxide blonde had dashed away laughing,     likely to meet bowers and the others.

the audience to his anger consists of only beverly,     but tall boy takes no prisoners.     ‘ WHA - WHAT   A   BAH - BAH - BASSSSTARD ! ‘     so upset that eyes remain dry despite the ache in his chest.     he struggles to get the words out,     allowing sneaker clad feet to work out the aggression.     finally,     grace fails him,     and he stumbles.     a loud,     sort of shrill cry tears through him and he kicks the dirt before plopping down next to ginger girl.

                                   ‘ i - i’m   sssss - sorry,    beverly. ‘     comes meekly.     cheeks are flushed,     but he seems to calm,     staring out into the trees with cloudy blue eyes.     ‘ how   w - ah - was   your day ? ‘

                                                                  @menstral liked !

     BILL DENBROUGH IS RELENTLESS  in his rage !      never a  fearful boy  was he,   but this is something else !     this is  FURY  pacing in front of her,    hands flying with stammered words   (  she doesn’t see what ever made the stutter  ‘  funny  ’    when his words  power  through    -    unstoppable  ).      it’s the anger of a  VICTIM  !     she knows all too well ;    time after time,   shit piles on,   anger burns in your lungs ‘til it comes bursting out.      beverly sits,    the willing receiver to his words,     leaned over her knees on the stump    (  RANT ,  RANT ,  RANT !    she will listen  ).          his apology is so antithetical to his anger,     it could almost make her  laugh.    at least he got it all out.  “  it’s fine,  ”   she promises,    voice  cool  as the flip side of the pillow . “  you have every right to be mad,  you know.  ”   figures he does   /   but how many times has she just been  OVERREACTING ?   HYSTERICAL ?  ON THE RAG?  the least she can do is give him better.         “   it’s bullshit.    that they get away with it.   ”       despite the  BULLSHIT,   she’s not half as angry as him    (  what she says are just facts,   things the marsh girl has long since accepted  ).      “  I’M  sorry.  ”

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my favorite part of IT is when beverly singe-handedly Kills It like for real it is actually dead and never comes back