#PROBABLY WONT EVEN LOSE THEM MONEY

[aspiringhorrorauthor]

No more posts about appreciating modern art. Society has progressed past the need to have viral posts about how to appreciate modern art

[jacklesraised]

see the reality is i post on my rps usually when nobodys been there a bit and nobody is probably online, but the mental illness in me keeps saying its bc everyone secretly hates me and i dont deserve love, and when i tell a gov doctor that, they basically just say ‘take your antidepressant’s and shut up’ which is also funny when said gov doctor wont refill my fucking antidepressants in the first place

[datwinky]

Reasons I'll like but not reblog an artist's art:

1. I am, it's just in a queue

2. It's art I really like, I just don't want it on my blog (which is just an archive for posts I want to go back and look at later)

3. It's something I like but don't really understand the context of like a fandom I'm unfamiliar with or OCs and don't want to reblog because it makes tagging difficult which messes up my organization

4. It would go on a blog (either main or side) where I have no followers and don't have the blog TO gain followers or communicate with and it literally would not spread to anyone for that reason

5. I've been on this site for 8 years and even then have memory issues and use likes as a way to mark what posts I have and haven't already seen/reblogged

6. And the one you want to hear the least: yeah. Sometimes art is nice enough for a like but not a reblog. It's called preferences. It's not a matter of technical skill or effort put into the piece or fandom they're not in or whatever. Sometimes you just don't vibe with something that much. That is NORMAL. A like and no reblog there shows, at least for me, "hey I can appreciate the concept behind it/technical skill/etc" but I won't reblog because for some other reason I just don't like it enough to have it on my blog. If the idea that not everyone will like your art enough to show it around to your friends is that big of a blow to your ego then you need to stop posting it because that is EXTREMELY unhealthy. It does you no good and only serves to ruin your relationship with your art. Stop

I have had it with this likescolding. “Tumblr doesn’t have an algorithm so likes don’t actually do anything” motherfucker I am not clicking that heart to give some post better ~algorithmic visibility~ I am clicking that heart to help my internet friend microdose on serotonin as god fucking intended

[ambersky0319]

Applying for jobs is weird

Applying for jobs is even weirder when I have passed the initial interview stage of a paid internship application

[stinkyallegations]

cw TKaTB spoilers, theory, mention of guillotine, amnesia memories spoilers

TKATB and its characters belong to @fantasia-kitt !!

TKATB IS RATED +18. MINORS DONT INTERACT

Was about to post a theory about how sol could have been reincarnated to meet pumpkin again in a different timeline bc they werent allowed to be together in their own timeline, the bruise on his neck being an indication of being guillotined AND him giving purple tullips (sign of royalty and elegance) to pumpkin on valentine's, feeling insecure about his lunch (saying it isnt "extravagant" enough for pumpkin) and somehow using pardon me instead of excuse me (he doesnt usually use this type of elegant language i think. could be just me) kinda seems like we were royalty before? I mean, crowe mentioning marie antoinette and the game giving us many options for the question seems sussy to me. Why does MY opinion on the queen matter this much to both crowe and sol since their love meters go crazy with the answers? speaking of historical figures, i cant be the only one thinking sol WAS the "executioner". maybe that could be it. he was "the executioner" and we were a part of the royalty: swimming in money, expensive alcohol and the sweat of the peasants; and sol being one of them. Maybe we didnt even know who he was but him being a delusional yandere, he thought we were inseperable lovers. maybe that was why he was drawing someone in peasant clothes. He was just drawing his past life, could be the day he first saw us or the day he lost us. anything to support my theory? what inspired the game, ofc :D i was stalking fantasia's socials when i saw the game was was inspired by 3 gamea, one being Amnesia Memories (IM A HUGE FAN OF THAT SHIT). if you didnt know, amnesia memories is about a girl waking up with lost memories, trying to remember things. but bc it is an otome, she has a partner in every world she wakes up in. so if she fails to recollect her memories, she ends up in a different universe with a different partner. the relevance between tkatb and amnesia? in amnesia the final LI can also switch between different universes. he loses the mc in a fire and cant live without her. So a god helps him go to a different universe to be with her again. But everytime he goes to a universe, the world either kills the mc or him somehow. Following with pumpkin being royalty and sol not being able to live with us, what if after our death; he went to a different universe where we are classmates (equal parties!!) and now the entire purpose of his existence being, well, being with us forever?

But yknow. I decided not to post it since pretty much everyone already thinks this way! its probably what fantasia WANTS us to think to bamboozle us in the end, right? :3

P.S. not to mention his hatred for the rich. the rich and their stupid rules were the things that stopped him from being with us! but what if hyugo ALSO has switched universes along with him for his own reasons? Could this be the deal between the two, and the reason why hyugo wont allow sol to just die like that?

[natsmagi]

ok no i need to bitch because i have remained positive and hopeful throughout most of !!-era because i believed that happyele loved their characters and wouldnt deliberately go out of their way to butcher them but time and time again i have been proven wrong on this fact. and seeing the way theyre doubling down on having ibuki, a ryukyuan kid from okinawa, join a traditional "wa" japanese unit that embraces mainland japan traditions when the mainland has continuously tried to make okinawa theirs and disregard the ryukyuan identity WHILE ALSO LITERALLY HAVING EICHI COLONIZE OKINAWA IN ATLANTIS its all just becoming too much. I am no expert when it comes to these topics so do not take my word when it comes to jp culture, conflict and the likes, but knowing how poorly happyele has continuously time and time again treated their indigenous (or middle eastern in adonis's case) cast i cannot see this going well. Not to mention how having ibuki join akatsuki goes against everything the three of them have built up and the whole POINT of their unit and that for them to even fucking put this garbage in the story they had to make keito PAINFULLY ooc to pull it off because NO OTHER REALITY WOULD ALLOW IT!!!!! theyre taking akatsukis developments and throwing it out the window in an attempt to make them something "new" and more profitable while also using a beloved group that so many have spent so much of their time loving and supporting into nothing but a scapegoat for their imperialist propaganda im so unbelievably angry that theyre doubling down on this. im so angry that theyre stupid enough to let shit like this pass

and im sure youve probably read posts explaining the aktk thing better than i ever couldve, esp considering im not an aktkP, but im also writing this to tell the fans of big units to Stop Giving In. do not feel safe just because happyele is scared of losing you, because I used to be an undeadP before getting into switch and the reason i STOPPED producing them was because they viewed the unit as nothing but a money-maker machine and would completely disregard their developments for the sake of feeding into tropes that fans liked and they cared more about yaoibait than they did the characters themselves. They tossed out any growth rei and ritsu had in opperetta for the sake of bringing back sakuma brothers conflict in that painfully annoying la mort story and theyre gonna keep doing this shit until fans tire of it. valkyrie, eden and knights are three super popular units with upcoming events, and i seriously need you to not give happyele any of your time or money because they do not deserve it.

even with switch, a rather unpopular unit, theres been total garbage pulled. in switchs case i think its safe to say that akira does genuinely really care for natsume and tsumugis relationship considering thats basically all that man even includes in his switch stories, but he never really knows what to do with sora. And i feel like he doesnt really care. Like sure i can sit here and be like "well at least MY favs seem to be doing alright" but thats purely because they keep spoon-feeding us crumbs of the units popular ships so we wont complain. i still really like their dynamic and i strongly disagree with alot of fans saying natsume and tsumugi have been OOC lately, but like. Look at sora man. i dont mind him having a little gf in the virtual world, i dont mind him growing more independent, i dont mind him relying less on his synesthesia. but the executions are just. Theyre painful. with the synesthesia thing esp bc synesthesia doesnt just go away. You couldve easily made a simple point of "you cant always rely on your synesthesia to know how people feel" because that is TRUE! but that would de-fetishize this idea these people have of synesthesia being some Magical Ability and not just a neurological condition. And with the sora being more independent; this is also something thats been needed for his story! natsume and tsumugi would often coddle him way too much, and sora himself would complain about being treated as a kid. But like. sora has started to feel so disconnected from switch in a way.....? and this has even been a point of conflict in stories, sora not knowing how to partake in ntmgs conversations because theyre too difficult, or being sad that ntmg never have time to hang out with him. But instead of working on these things, they just. keep having sora hang out with people outside of natsume and tsumugi? who have practically become a package deal at this point?? literally having sora join a NEW UNIT without natsume or tsumugi????????? i dont know. im rambling but i just wanted to get this out there. Theyre my specialest guys in the whole entire world and i just want to make people more cautious of thinking "well the aktk thing wouldnt happen to MY fav unit! they wouldnt butcher MY favs!" because they very much can. even if theres an aspect youre still hooked on, other factors are visibly crumbling because management cares only about what will bring the most revenue, and not what is best for the character

i cant help but feel the reason theyre pulling this shit with akatsuki is because they felt as though they somewhat got away with it with Double Face and raked in some extra cash because kohaku ended up popular, so now theyre doing that again but taking it to the next extreme. its disheartening

anyway. i will continue to draw and enjoy ensemble stars. But i wont be supporting them financially anymore as they clearly do not care about fans at all. if i desperately want some merch ill just buy it second-hand. And while im at it, i need you people to stop telling enstarries to get into some other idol franchise instead as if the main problem here isnt how disgustingly predatory they are. Happy Elements were THE biggest joseimuke franchise, making the most money out of all their competitors, and it still wasnt enough. they still didnt respect their fans. when the fans would continuously respect their wishes. Enstars is like the only fandom ive seen that doesnt share leaks for example, yet this courtesy means nothing to them. Corporations arent your friends, never have been and never will be. those characters arent real, they do not have feelings of their own. They were all written by someone to serve a purpose, and this includes ibuki being an indigenous kid joining the wa japanese culture unit. To use this popularity to spread so much fucking bigotry and hatred is heartbreaking. And to blame the fans for being upset over it????????????? youre disgusting happyele.

[omgwhatchloe]

things i think would make modern au van der linde members cry!!

SEAN

- genuinely algebra i can see him sobbing and going "i cant do it while angrily scribbling his work out

- the thought of his da being bullied at work (his da would never get bullied at work, his da probably is the bully.)

- arthur, lenny and dutch genuinely being mean to him

- when no one did ANYTHING for his birthday and he realised he wasnt having a surprise party either (this is completely because he had never mentioned when his birthday was before and no one could've known)

JOHN

- if jack ever drew a picture of him at kindergarten or whatever when asked to draw his hero or someone he loves

- if he got promised fast food then the person who promised it came back without fast food

- thoughts about funerals

- when abigail brings up what he used to say about her just to get a laugh from bill freaking williamson + how he treated jack when he was younger

LENNY

- getting up for work at 5am after falling asleep at 2am

- if he was hungry all day and the first meal he ate tasted like shit

- his birthdays he hates getting older

- when sean said he was moving back to ireland and he only realised hours later he was joking

- when the boys made a mess out of his room when they all got drunk and left it for him to clean

HOSEA

- videos about children suffering like any kind of suffering because he has such a soft spot for them

- thoughts of john and arthur being isolated/bullied

- when he thinks about his illness

- bessie.

- seeing john make slideshows/videos about how much he loves him and dutch thinking they wont see it (tears of joy)

DUTCH

- also thoughts about john and arthur being isolated/bullied

- hosea’s illness

- when hosea wanted to plan his funeral

- arthur repeatedly declining his calls

- john saying he wants to die as a joke

BILL

- if he ever bought fast food and dropped it and didnt have enough money to buy anymore

- sad dog videos and gets even sadder when he cant

- adopt them all

- if dutch ever expressed disappointment towards him

- the boys going out without him

JAVIER

- his family he left behind

- seeing his wanted poster, not because he’s wanted but because they made him ugly and plastered it everywhere

- getting drunk then losing the boys in the club

- finding a bug in his room because he’s going to feel super uncomfortable trying to sleep in there for the whole night

MARY-BETH

- a cat being mean to her

- miss grimshaw yelling at her (she’s sensitive)

- scary climate change videos

- when karen went missing for three days and everyones theories on where she was got too upsetting

CHARLES

- first time he saw arthur cough up blood

- his fake scenarios to sad music that would never in a million years happen

- when he sees kids being picked on

- losing his airpods at 3am and having to try to sleep to the sounds of sean and lenny playing roblox through the wall

KIERAN

- being constantly left out

- the boys talking bad about him thinking he wont know

- horse girl videos where the horses are being mistreated

- being given gifts just because someone saw it and thought of him

MOLLY

- hearing the girls talk badly about her

- also being left out

- seeing happy relationship videos

- ��dutch refusing to hold her when they slept

- When one of the few presents she got for her birthday was a $2.99 necklace from dutch she saw on sale at Walmart a day before

ABIGAIL

- if jack ever got upset about how john acts towards him

- hosea's illness

- the girls all going out for a girls night but she cant because of jack

- when john called her ugly and other names behind her back because he wanted to fit in

- when she was on her period, had the worst day at work ever and john walked into the room with a buzz cut

[koopageneral]

INANIMATE INSANITY SEASON 2 EPISODE 15 SPOILERS. PLEAASE GO WATCH IT

Omgaaa I need to EXPLODE cuz of Taco’s Tirade. Gonna go on a rant analysing it prty much line-by-line so STRAP IN!! (Shout out to everyone who worked on this masterpiece omfg)

It starts off with what might be considered ‘normal’ Taco. Her making fun of the contestants. There is a little bit of hinting at her sympathy towards the contestants, although it’s incredibly shrouded in her mastermind facade. Calling them ‘pathetic’ and comparing them to blindly obedient dogs with ‘how they run to fetch their sticks.’

We get a little bit more with ‘Sure, call me polemic, unsympathetic.’ It shows how shes aware that she’s a problem, although at this point in the song it’s unclear to the audience whether she’s saying it in a way of ‘yeah call me it cuz it’s true, I don’t care.’ Or if it’s ‘call me these things, yeah, but I’m more than that.’

‘Look at me and all you see is the debris of some defective outcast.’ Feels like it’s getting into the meat of the song, and the episode as a whole, of how Taco has realized how she’s pushed everyone away for the sake of the game. The fact she has her arms tucked away during it gives another interesting interpretation, of it actually talking about before her big reveal, and how she was treated differently because she was, in her words, ‘defective.’

‘A frenetic, antithetic (if poetic) iconoclast.’ Frenetic means wild and energetic, probably, again, referring to her season 1 persona. Antithetic means opposite of something, and iconoclast means someone who attacks cherished institutions. This gets into her want to tear this entire show to the ground for the suffering it’s caused everyone.

‘I wont live in the past. I almost won this game once, you know.’ I’m just gonna parrot what @lemonxlimee said cuz they put it pretty succinctly with two words. Taco. Girl.

Then we get to the lines that got me started on this tirade (Pun intended.) ‘History is rearranged just to credit those who win the glory. So reality has changed in the edit when they spin the story.’ AUGH. Her fucking staring down at the hotel made of the money she spent SO HARD and lost SO MUCH to try and get. I. I want to scream about this. I don’t know how to put my thoughts on this line into fucking words.

‘And we choose to feel this pain.’ Going off the last line, Taco, out of almost anyone in the cast, knows how much you have to go through just to get a chance to win, which goes right into the next line.

‘We lose more than we gain.’ She lost Pickle. You might say that she didn’t actually care, but I’m not sure if I believe that. I feel like she might not have at first, and maybe even never when they actually were playing together. But you can’t convince me she doesn’t hate herself for using him on a plan that resulted in nothing. She also lost Mic, and it’s incredibly clear how much that affected her. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back, and showed her the flaws in this system.

‘I will break this cycle of mistakes unlike all of these snakes whom I call to condemn.’ She is fucking DETERMINED to make everyone see what they’ve sacrificed. She speaks with a level of contempt towards them, yes, but I feel like it’s more her projecting her feelings about the contest onto the contestants.

Then we’ve got MePad being best therapy boy. ‘You are incapable of starting over.’ She wants to be better. But she doesn’t feel worthy.

And then MePad’s slightly naive optimism with ‘I do not know who you lost, but is it not possible to get them back?’ He’s programmed to see the best in everyone. He wants things to work out. He doesn’t see how hard it might be to just make things better after a relationship exclusively built on lies.

This naivete is immediately contrasted by Taco’s all-encompassing pessimism. ‘Clear the slate, start again, do you hear how preposterous that sounds? How do you not comprehend that for someone with my monstrous background, the whole slate has fallen apart.’ To Taco, the bridges between her and Mic or Pickle are nothing but smoldering piles of rubble after all the pain she’s put them through.

This contrast is even more stark with the duet of ‘It’s too late’ and ‘It’s not too late.’ I don’t even know what to say about that, it’s pretty black and white.

For the duet, gonna go one character at a time for simplicity. Starting with Taco.

We see taco’s turmoiled feelings on whether she’s to blame, with ‘It’s not I, it’s they who deigned to play.’ Even after all of this internal conflict and deep personal realizations, there’s still a part of her that wants to cast the blame of the pain she’s caused onto the ones she’s hurt.

Another deflection she throws out is, honestly, probably more fair, if still not great. ‘This game, so cruel and inhumane, base and uncouth.’ This really gets into her main philosophy for the episode. She’s afraid to take responsibility, and pins the blame on the show for pitting everyone against one another. I want to make it clear, her point is incredibly valid. We see during THIS EPISODE how much it turns people against eachother. The challenge is entirely built around making the contestants spill their true feelings about each other, and using that to fuel drama. Suitcase literally has to choose between two people she cares about over who she’s bringing into the finals, pitting Baseball and Knife against eachother. While the show is ‘cruel and inhumane’, I don’t think that should just be a het out of jail free card for Taco. Yes, she did it because she felt there was no other choice to win, but she still did horrible things. She manipulated 2 people into actually believing she cared.

‘They’re too afraid to bear the bed they made, can’t bring themselves to face the awful truth.’ This is pretty much just her saying that the other contestants are too blind to see how much pain they’ve gone through to get to where they are.

NOW. Baby boy therapist, MePad.

‘You’re no menace, Taco, how did they hurt you?’ He agrees with Taco on the grounds of how much pain the contestants go through, but he’s just a little more concerned about the tact needed to show them. He knows that Taco wants to change, but she’s afraid to. He knows how much she wants to apologize to the people she’s hurt. He feels that there has to be something external she’s dealing with to have this level of spite in her, even if there isn’t, and all of her hate is towards herself.

‘Please think this through’ is pretty self explanatory. As I said, he agrees with Taco about her basic ideals, but feels like there are better ways to deal with the issue.

‘Feeling double crossed is part of dealing with the loss, yes, but the healing is a process, that’s the truth.’ He wants to see Taco get better, and he’s trying to get through to her about the fact that her feelings are entirely valid, but she has to, at some point, let go.

I also feel like the sound mixing is very purposeful. Taco’s voice rings through clearly, able to be heard without much difficulty. MePad’s vocals are softer, and a little quieter and harder to make out. Taco is so in her own head about the pain she’s gone through, she refuses to listen to any outside voice.

Then we get to Taco trying her best to cover up her emotions again and put on her mastermind persona with ‘I’m turning up the heat to sauté, I’ve some beef to get grilled. But I guarantee that today all the beans that get spilled won’t be mine.’ I love how this foreshadows the challenge, but doesn’t make it obvious.

We see one last crack in her facade in the penultimate ‘I’m fine.’ Again, the ‘mistake’ in this line feels incredibly purposeful. It’s incredibly pitchy and bad, to an almost ear-splitting level. Taco knows she isn’t actually okay at ALL, and has trouble telling such a blatant lie.

And then the last line, ‘now it’s time’, is her fully donning the mask once again, ready to expose the show for what it is.

ANYWAY. Uh. Thanks for reading all this bs. I fucking love this song so much, and I think Taco’s motivation in this episode is fascinating. Any comments or constructive criticism of my analysis is MORE than appreciated, hope you all have a wonderful day/night/whenever.

[changbinsboobs]

plz Queen drop new reading

U ask - and the queen will deliver

Husband Series: Lee Know

First, i see him being very overwhelmed with responsibilities and just giving very stressed vibes, like going left and right, doing this and that and being just very hyper focus on whats on his mind and what should get done and i see him getting a bit lost in that feeling. I don't see it being a permanent thing tho maybe just in the beginning he'll habe a transitioning phase where he is a bit all over the place until he finds his place in his new family.

I see him being a provider and being the main breadwinner in the family. He likes it like that actually. Its a bit of a subtle energy, so maybe he wont talk about it or actively show that he likes it but i think its something he feels should be that way and he feels proud being able to properly provide for his family and be of importance and use to his loved ones.

I don't see him being very communicative or romantic tho, im sensing loneliness from his partner. The thing is, i don't see him necessarily being cold or dry, but rather he's difficult to enter and gwt to know on a deeper level and that lack of emotional intimacy will probably be a problem in his marriage. I also see his communication style being very sharp, short and to the point with not much sugarcoating or flare - so i guess his marriage may be more of a task or a transactional thing for him. Like "i give u money you give me kids, we keep each other company." Thats just about it. I think his fun and playful side will be more for his friends rather for his marriage, especially when responsibilities like house, kids etc come. Why is that such a theme with so many men that think life stops when they get married and now everything gets serious and its all about responsibilities and why on earth do men lose interest in their wife's once they get married😭 im seeing this with lee know i saw similar energy with chan as well.

Anyways im seeing him being passionate in bed tho, probably the only times he's playful with his partner and shows passion and emotion. I believe those are the times his spouse gets reminded that lee know actually loves them.

And lastly - a very lovely card - he is gonna be very involved with the kids later on if they have them, if not they'll probably have pets, and he'll be very involved in that then. Or if they have both than with both😂. So im seeing him being a good dad and also taking a lot of the responsibilities from his spouse when it comes to this, so despite him being the breadwinner i think the child-duty will be more or less evenly distributed among them which is a huge bonus i think cuz sadly, thats not a given🥲

Overall im seeing him being a great support for his spouse, maybe not so much in the emotional department but still overall he looks very stable, responsible and rational, some passion, fun and romance lacking here and there but even then he's still a good person to vent to or as for advice or emotional support once u get used to his style.

[empyreansentinel]

since ive started my most recent playthrough of the series im just. constantly reminded of how shitty of a hand the bandits got dealt. starting with dahl dumping thousands of convicts into pandoras penal colonies, as well as establishing civilian settlements like fyrestone. this went on for generations, maybe. long enough for zed to be born and go grey. atlas shows up, chases off dahl and the planet is put under new, neglectful management. this opens the prisons, and the "unworthy" convicts clash with the "worthy" dahl settlers for resources. violence breaking out is inevitable because violence is the only thing the bandits have. BL1 VHs come in, killing their way through every camp and mine and settlement they can get into, for no other reason than Bandit Bad and theyre in the way of our money. lets go into their homes and kill them because they would have probably tried to kill us if we hadnt. the first people they meet are settlers, of course theyre going to feel this way. the only pushback they get is atlas trying to "protect" barons territory because they want the vault key from his men. and it doesn't stop them from throwing him to the wolves once his value as bait outweighed his value as an asset. atlas sends them after flynt with the false promise of a key fragment, something the VHs have killed for before, so why would this be any different? the vault key is reformed. destroyer pops out of the vault, cracks open the planet, and then hyperion hits pandora. i dont need to explain hyperion. everyone, if nothing else, has played BL2. more prisons, more exploitation, this time on a scale several times that of dahl or atlas. but the bandits still dont get the benefit of a doubt, even though they are facing the same dangers that sanctuary does. and worse, seeing as how they dont have a flying city with a bubble around it. once the BL2 VHs touch down, theyre mincemeat. all of a sudden, theyre fighting a war on all fronts. so they lose their leadership. captain, flanksteak, mortar, nisha in 2. nine-toes, sledge, krom, baron in 1. and they also lose a good half of of their population to boot. so...what can they do that wont get them steamrolled by pandoras benevolent saviors? they unite. BL3 rolls around and every bandit clan on pandora has been assimilated into the COV because that is the only level of security they have left. except it still isnt safe because now theyre quite literally being eaten and mutated by the ones who are supposed to be protecting them. and then theyre still being mowed down regardless, because the calypsos dont provide any real kind of safety, they just have a veil of community. which is then lost when the twins die and the world almost gets destroyed by the great vault. and now the crimson raiders are...leaving, maybe? which might be for the best. maybe what this planet needs it just to be left the hell alone.

[luonae]

scummy milo variant... aka a milo tailored for my questionable tastes. more about him under the cut

1) i think he would definitely be a variant of manipulation milo since this one relies on manipulation too. except instead of coming off as friendly and inserting himself in social circles this one would embrace this kinda emo or whatever look and a bad reputation because it makes him more attractive in a bad boy way

2) he plays with peoples feelings when they fall for him, using them to get money and information/blackmail on other people. he weaponizes his charms to get to people and once he got what he wanted and theyre no longer useful he throws them away and moves onto the next person

3) hes only doing this for eris of course. he has a tattoo of eris' initials in a heart on his neck (which would be really painful to get) to show his devotion. he may lie to his "lovers" about breaking up with eris to placate them but in the end theyre less than filth in his eyes; just a means to an end and nothing else. he absolutely despises when hes asked shit like "me or eris?" because he cant lie about that even if he must, so he often just says dont bring them up again and shuts the person down

4) unlike m milo, this one would be more willing to resort to violence if needed. hes not as violent as violence milo, but hes not particularly averse to it either. pick a fight with him over him stealing your girl or whatever and he will be knocking you out cold within 30 seconds and moving on with his day to smoke. he does frequently work out; maintaining his physique is important for his attractiveness after all (and the fights that come with it)

5) high alcohol tolerance. he gets people drunk to get information out of them. his size (and the fact he drinks a lot) mean he can hold his liquor well. after all, he himself cant get loose lipped. thats reserved for his victims. he needs to be sober to catch all the dirt they spill when drunk. besides he cant get himself into a vulnerable position like that.

6) probably almost got expelled multiple times, but he has his ways of keeping everything under control (blackmail)

7) cross him and youll face one of two fates: seduction or blackmail. i lied theres a third: getting your ass beat and thrown in the woods where no one will find you

8) lifeless eyes. his eyes only light up when he looks at or talks about eris. drops off everything he earned at eris' feet like a puppy and nuzzles up to them after a long day of being a bad boy. he will only get soft around them. he refuses to take orders from anyone else

9) really assertive. probably the most assertive of all milos, or up there with violence. he has manipulations confidence and violences ruthlessness, so he really has little to no fear outside of losing eris. nothing else makes him feel threatened nor embarrassed.

10) grew to overcome his fear of insects and even started liking spiders. he likens himself to one, catching his prey no matter how much they struggle, meticulously weaving inescapable webs.

11) probably acts averse to cute things, but he does have a soft spot for them secretly, especially bunnies. he looks back at his past self, pre, and feels a hint of fondness and pity. he doesnt dislike who he used to be even though hes nothing like that anymore. if pre milo was his own individual and existed alongside him, he would treat him like a younger brother and stand up for him.

12) really protective. has this death glare that communicates he will really throw your mutilated body in the ocean if you go anywhere near eris. probably really possessive of eris and, ironically enough, hates being touched or looked at by people other than eris, but will still tolerate it for his end goals.

13) while he may have no sympathy or reservations about what he does to his victims, he does feel a bit guilty when it comes to people who remind him of his past self. it wont stop him; nothing would ever stop him when eris is the one asking this of him, but were it up to him he probably would have some mercy on these types of people. he doesnt, though.

[triplegoths]

untagged

i cant fucking take living like this anymore

i cant do it i have to end it soon theres literally nothing for me here anymore. its too much to do. im never gonna fucking have another close in real life relationship.

i want to just like order some food at work so im not more miserable being here but i dont have the strength or stomach to eat something. ill eventually try maybe. i dont know. the drugs make me not eat like a fucking sick dog already and everything rn just says i dont deserve it

i have no motive or energy to do anything but work or somethimes playing a game but even that were usually unable bc were too tired.

whats the fucking issue with me!!!! i just dont give a shit anymore i dont want to do anything nothing makes me happy everythinf eventually juat makes me feel scared and sick and weird. every time i try to make fun or have plans it goes horrible and it just feels worse so i wont anymore ill just fucking rot alone like life wants me to

nobody here can help me and if i could i couldnt afford it so who fucking cares its cheaper to kill myself and lose the body so they dont need funeral costs. theyd misgender and shave me anyway probably

im just so fucking over it all im never gonna be happy like this. i got nothing. theres no good its just working til i fucking kill myself and putting myself through fuxking agony constantly for a life that continues to just KICK AND KICK AND KICK AND KICK me when im fucking down. i cant handle anything else happening. im trying so hard to get things done and theres just fuxking nothing. i will never ever be enough and ill never feel enough.

doesnt matter what or when or the circumstance its so depressing that its not just romantic relations too im so fuckinf scared in groups i automatically feel unwelcome and hated and like i should just go off by myself because im literally so unlikeable and everything has proved it forever. like genuinely as soon as i realized there were more than 2 people i got terrified and started questioning everythinf i did and wanted to run away bc i felt like i wasnt meant to be there and it was ovipus and i was being annoying like fucking ALWAYS GOD IM SO SICK OF BEING LIKE THIS can i just shut up forever? dirk please come back to front im tired of annoying all the people who so graciously allow me to exist around them so i dont have to be in such crushing loneliness all the time i feel like such a fucking baby and everybody probably thinks im such an annoying drug addict too can i just quit it and fucking feel and then kill myself already when i realize its worse

like im never gonna be able to afford any of the shit i need to heal and i dont even wanna try bc ill get 3 appointments in and will run out of money and continue doing that and then ill die bc i cant afford anything else. like why would i do that to myself ill just suffer like this and just do my best forever til i can only rot. id rather get it fuckinf over with and just die now. this isnt a life

i go frm one box go another. rotting. i rot at home alone or i go to work alone. i dont really go out. i dont really talk to anybody. i dont really see anybody. i have 1 irl friend who talks to me and lives in town. the other i dont see her often and honestly feel so embarassed of myself around her because of how i am that i can barely convince myself to see her sometimes even if she is in town. the other person is one of my exs and he doesnt give a shit about me he just wants sex bc thats the only thing im good for. i feel like i just annoy and make everybody uncomfortable conwtantly i dont wanna do it anymore i want to shut up

i always do it i always just talk endlessly frm the second i fucking could before most kids could talk even and i just never shut up did i? my parents were always annoyed by me talking about things that brought me joy (and they never believed me for things that were upsettinf and it was just fake and i needed to be quiet about it bc theyre not taking me to the doctor. so i stopped talking about it to my family and everybody else in my life in that era did the same. the bullies. my friends who ignored me. no matter the form it was always like that i just need to learn to keep quiet and go away and not need anything ever again. i couldnt fucking learn it every time i got a red or yellow card for talking (usually trying to ask questions bc i didnt understand or couldnt see or couldnt hear in elementary school. or to make conversation bc i was friendly and had no friends and my parent didnt play with me so i was lonely. nobody ever liked me bc i was weird. i feel like such a bitter dickhead but i get so jealous when i see that people talk to others every day. especially in person. im so fucking alone i literally get so excited when people want to call with me even if it makes me really scared (and sometimes if im not comfortable enough or feeling sad i will run a away from that too because im so scared to fuckinf annoy people and say something stupid or be boring or trying too hard or just fucking being a total downer because theres nothing good ever going on for me. i got so depressed goin on bsky today and seeing everyone playing webfishing when i cant. but even so lik.e maybe im glad i djdnt join bc one of them was in a big group with new mut and then all strangers so like. its better i wasnt able to bc i would probably jusg feel worse and run away frm everyone bc i feel inadequate snd guilty for taking up space. i always feel like im bothering everyone no matter what. fuck my exhusband in general but he also made me so much more insecure than i was already. he made me feel so annoying and he broke my communication. i was alone with him and JUST him for so long. i could only communicate in nonsense phrases sometimes (literal jibberish not memes) because thats all he would respond to or wouldnt talk to me until i did. he changed my whole pattern of speech and i still almost lapse into it sometimes. it was never any kind of real conversation about anything i felt like it withered my brain. nothing ever in depth just stupid sensless bullshit and jokes (that were often insulting me and made me feel like shit) and i was doing it for fucking nothing because everything else sucked too!!!! the only time there was ever a conversation was when i was BEGGING HIM to stop sometbing or do something for the millionth time. or him defending himself or trying to force my support and trigger my ocd (i genuinely think he was trying to make it worse he never respected it ever he mever respected a single part of me) or him fighting with me on something again (usually the thing was due to him and i just was not being forgiving and quiet and turning off my emotions enough about it. learned numb happiness)

my existence is like a plague and theres nothing here for me. theres even less left of me after he got done with me. he stripped my personality all the way down and forcef me to mirror him. everythinf will always be rotted and ill feel like a horrid shell of a person any time im near anyone. the only option is being alone. maybe this time i will learn and just fuxking stop all of this so we can stop being a curse on everybody. even if i could afford mental help theres nobody that can help me here so its all a waste. i feel like everybody will just hurt me again. doesnt even have to be a partner i feel like every single person is gnna realize sooner or later that im not worth it or they dont like me (ir even hate me) and that im just too fucking annoying to be around

i dont want to be annoying anymore. i wish it was like right after he went to prison again when i didnt have anything and was an empty shell and had nothing to say or talk about that wasnt venting. i wish i never got back some of my "sparkle" or whatever the fuck people call it. mines not a sparkle. its a noxious cloud of toxic annoyance fumes and everybody just has to keep their masks up til i vacate the area. why would i ever fucking want this to come back. i need to shut the fuck up i really do. just take our personality and every crumb of joy again im so sick of it. make it so i dont have any of those thoughts to even post. thus sparing everyone from having to be like "UGH this motherfucker AGAIN. does he ever shut the fuck up? is he ever quiet? can he just log off already? this guy definitely has no life. why does he always have to butt into everything"

that way i can just post like. the shortest most boring updates ever like "back to work! only 3 days this week for the 39 hours. more time off is always good" and then shut up for days and then "got paid nice. going to the bank and then grabbing a few groceries" like thats do much better. nobody needs to fucking know man its sad and depressing and all the same OR you are the most obnoxious prick on any site youre ever and you ruin everybodys day when theyre forced to see you in their notifs or on their timeline

ive probably already muted me bc it didnt even take a week for me to just talk way too muxh when none of of it is important and nobody wants to hear it

even if im not allowed to talk frm my body. its already annoying enough in text and then psyically i just stutter and trip over myself or cant think or forget what i was saying

i wanna delete everything i have and crawl into the earth. i hate being alive. the one time i find something that makes me happy even the littlest bit i cant do it anymore. disallowed by the universe and painfully reminded of the fact im supposed to alone and theres actually nothing for me. it doesnt get better for me it only gets worse. and it makes me feel stupid for believing it could even though thats few and far between. theres nothing left for me i need to just get whatever drugs i decide on and have one last hoorah and take enough to kill me. which hopefully wont even be that hard because im mixing downers and uppers constantly so like its only a matter of time right. my nose hurts and i feel like crying and my body is killing me again so im taking both things again. one for pain. one for maybe like. a little bit of energy but mainly so i dont feel so absolute shit. i just want it all to stop i dont wanna get better anymore im sick of it every time i try i get fucking worse or am crushed by something else even harder than before im DONE WITH IT IM FUCKING OVER IT i just wanna end it theres nothing fucking here for me im never making it. im sick of trying. im sick of always helping even while going through the wordt shit imaginable. im not sick of it. i want to help and i love helping. but it makes me fucking SICK to think about how ive spent my whole life caring for others. have been let down or ignored or told i was lying or had them hurt me instead so many times over i just fucking wish i was important enough to have gotten help when i needed it. to be listened to enough for somebody to even acknowledge or believe there is an issue (or simply convince me im overreacting)

it was fucking stupid of me to think my last ditch effort of doing art school because every other thing i failed miserably at because im too stupid and cant do enough and dont have the support. it doesnt even fucking matter bc my body is slowly and slowly getting closer to just saying "no fuck you" to the art i NEVER HAD TIME TO MAKE TO MY FULL ABILITY IN THE FIRST PLACE. and then ill never be able to do it ever again because i cant get help

i am going to die knowing i never finished a single thing in my life and nobody will ever know what i was capable of.

i want to die in the most painful and uncomfortable way possible because its what i deserve. its the only thing i truly deserve. i need to endanger myself more than i already do obviously its not killing me fast enough if im still kicking and dragging myself across the pavement. i should be dragged along the pavement by a semitruck instead.

i wanna kill myself so bad tonight man. im gonna try not to bc my friend really needs me rn. but i really might relapse. im so fucking tired i want to just go and sleep but ill stay up just for that. i should just cut a vein already why do i care about beinf careful. there was a thing i wanted to do... cut myself with a razor right after i use it to chop **** because maybe itll make me feel good when im not or just fuck my heart enough to make me faint or do smth stupider

ive been writing this for so long im fucking done. i got 2.5 more hours here. i hope i find my mouse when i go home so i change my mind but i honestly really just want to end it right now. im at the end of the line really. im gonna work til i die and never get a break

"everyday it feels like noone sees and noone knows. every day i kinda wanna cancel the show." /lyr

please for the love of god like this if you read all of it i just spilled my whole guts and not even well

[ask-noonescity]

{Continuing from here}

TW MINOR BLOOD

"Im going to give you a blessing to appear as a wisp! A lost soul!" The mysterious voice chirped as the magic flew out of its hands warmth covered your body as they continued "Its incase they do decide to hurt or kill you! We dont want the universe to become unbalanced now do we ~ " they reasoned before again perking up "Oh!" as they waved their hands around "I hear foot steps - bye bye bye! Have fun - you will return back to the sylveon in some time" they giggled before seemingly disappearing as the hands turned into dust,

For moment the man stood there waiting for answer before not getting any as he grew quickly frustrated as purple smoke escaped as he yelled out in the small room

"PHANTASIA, SERIOUSLY DONT HAVE THE PATIENCE FOR THIS-"

The bird didnt bat a eye twice as she just tapped onto the phone away as he repeated himself now his voice more irritated but he let out a huff

"Your fucking stalkers are here" he said now to her as the articuno looked up finally questioning

"Bullshit - no one knows we are here but Omen and she left already" she simply replied "How could a spirit find us here now? Hm? Maybe it means you got to take a shower once in a while? Maybe its the stench of old blood?"

"Because didnt you lose your last fight? So stop bossing me around and just shoo them away, be useful at something-" she snickered quietly to herself

"Look who is talking the feather ball who didn't get the role she wanted in modeling industry then cried about it for months," he murmured back now Phantasia taken back slightly puffed up her feathers as she grew annoyed back

"HOW DARE-" she paused collecting herself for moment "It was a important role - of course ill be upset about it - you useless muscle brain - im the one who brings in the money" She pushed back as they both looked back at each other irritated and annoyed

"What will you do? Cry about it for a month?" He answered for once simply back as he smiled to her annoying her more Before they both turned their heads hearing stomps in another room seemingly a kitchen - the door swung open with force

"AND WHY THE HELL AM I STUCK DOING EVANDERS JOB IN FIRST PLACE - YOU SAID YOU'LL COME STRAIGHT AWAY BACK AFTER GETTING THE DOOR, YOU IDIOT" The new comer yelled out silencing the Zapdos - the dark types head snapped to the orange bird before seeing him gesture to the door

"Spirits, even better - it was sort of coming that we will get haunted OR this could be jesters doing again, I swear to Omeeennn...." he cursed quietly now "Just ignored them, they probably wont leave for a while..."

YOU 'ARE' NOW A LOST SOUL!

♠️ASK BOX OPENED♠️

[roe-and-memory]

Hello! Might I ask if you have any Headcanons on strip? He's literally my favorite yet only has like 5 minutes of screen time :'(

(Or any doodles??? Cowboy man???)

HI!! yes of course we do, i LOVE strip

im so sorry this took us so long to get to, but i wont ur time anymore ENJOY!!

DOODLE BELOW!!!

strip grew up with racing, his dad was a racer and he definitely started as soon as he was old enough to. at some point in his life, he and his dad raced side by side. i think he started racing in 1970, probably at 18, his first car was the plymouth superbird and he not only got his number 43, but with his dads winning money he got the actual showroom model of one too. his dad bought it for him as a late birthday gift/“congrats on your first race, kid” gift. he still has both of them in his shop at home.

i also believe strip and lynda were highschool sweethearts. they got married as soon as possible and have been married with no issues ever since. he LOVES that woman with every bone in his body and would throw himself in front of a train if it meant saving her life. i like to think that they went to the same highschool, but REALLY met at a local derby. she won the derby (this was maybe? grade 10?) and he was totally blown away by 1. how gorgeous this girl was 2. the fact he’d seen her in the halls at school 3. the fact that they had such similar interests but never spoke before. he found his way to where she was and striked up a little conversation by complimenting her and starting racing talk. they fell for each other right then and there, but didnt start dating until 2 or 3 months later.

he and tex have been friends for a WHILE. tex inherited dinoco from his parents when they passed on, and when the racer that had races under the sponsor previously retired, tex almost immediately sponsored strip. it wasnt just a “best friend” sponsorship though, they both thought long and hard about it and had negotiations because tex just inherited a Huge part of the sport and they needed a good racer to back them up — so he hired strip, because that man could race with his eyes closed. strip won every one of his piston cups under dinoco.

he is BLONDE. he had a sister too (cal’s mom), most people mistook them for twins because of how similar they looked, both blonde, both with a similar birthmark on their face, and the fact that they were only one year apart didnt help. they were best friends. strip was the best man at his sisters wedding, and she was the maid of honour at his.

——

hi it's roe. you pulled me out of retirement thanks for the req

——

i dont think strip and lynda ever really wanted kids, strip was off racing a majority of weekends every year and lynda still had the odd gig here and there — they were comfortable in their little married life wirh just one another, but when their nephew Cal was born, strip and lynda were apart of his life from the beginning - and obviously not in the overbearing way, they wanted the ultimate titles of cool aunt and uncle, but in the “we’ll always be here if you need us to care for him, we’re here if you need ANYTHING!!” kind of way too. strip took that kid to races with him, set him up in the pits with a headset and his crew chief, and even let him BE the crew chief for one race when he was 9 (with the guidance of the actual one, of course.)

when cals parents died in a car accident, the same one that left cal deaf, it was probably the worst days of strip and lyndas life. the four of them (five, counting cal i suppose) had been a family Together. they were all super close, and to just lose them both like that was destroying. in their wills, everything went to Them. Including custody of cal. so in one day they lost their best friends and had a new life to care for — a very uprooted life, at that.

strip and lynda learned things for cal, like how to help him cope with the loss and trauma he experienced, what to do if he had panic attacks or nightmares, and how to help him adjust to his hearing loss.. and never once did they try to replace his parents. they knew their place in his life would never be the ones of his parents, and they didnt ever think they WOULD be parents, he lost them at the age of 13 when he finally had a proper sense of self and finally knew them, so itd be impossible for those holes to fill. obviously strip and lynda did everything they could to be as close to parental as possible without crossing the line, because the typical aunt and uncle roles felt too distant for the situation. obviously cal lashed out because he felt scared and alone, and they refused to take any of it personally because they knew it wasnt something personal.

strip inherited the farm when his father passed away, the north carolina farm that they grew up in, so he has Acres of land and a huge shop/garage where he keeps all his classic cars and old racecars. they have horses and a forest on their property, and when cal was 14 strip taught him how to drive using the track he’d plowed in one of the fields for practice. cal entered his first “race” when he was 15 1/2, and raced for small leagues until he was 19, when strip retired and cal took his place on team dinoco. strip then replaced his own crew chief and became cal’s.

strip and doc definitely hang out at the tracks all the time, they bond over their surrogate “children” being goofy as hell and even talk about their own racing highlights. strip still cannot believe lightning managed to get THE fabulous hudson, the racer his own father told him all about, who strip had dreamed about meeting as a child until he realized it might be a high possibility the man had died, to ADOPT HIM. absolutely insane behaviour on lightnings part.

I HOPE THIS IS ENOUGH!! i have more but a magician cannot share all his secrets.. or magic tricks.. or however the saying goes..

[wayfayrr]

long unorganized idea!! apologies for any spelling mistakes!!

finished reading part 2 of sage and reader landing in regular earth and the idea of them both slowly becoming domestic hit me in the head with a metal bat. Assuming they're both staying for a while, theyre going to need money! reader falls into somewhat of a provider position for sage!! they work hard all day and come home to an eagerly awaiting sage.

Sage, while happy it's just the both of them, he would probably go a little crazy because "how am i supposed to protect you!" its a brand new--and modern at that- world for him. this means new competition, and it wont be as easy for him to fully have reader to himself anymore. friends and family are major obstacles compared to some blonde fools back in hyrule. And unless reader is a bit of a loner, or doesn't have the best relationship with family, its going to be harder for him. As well as he cant be around them 24/7 (while reader could work from home, i love the idea of them holding an office job more. coming home tired making them even more like putty for him. hes there and ready to dote on a tired reader after such a stressful day but not to worry he'll make it all better)

I have this idea that he slowly falls into a househusband???(idk) role. While he may not be able to financially provide, he can cook you delicious meals and bake perfect deserts!! He can make his new home as enticing as it needs to be to keep you there with him. I just imagine him clinging to reader, buttering them up with his cooking and affection

oh, your friends wanted to hang out after your shift? but reader! you been gone for so long! he's having such a hard time adjusting and needs you home. Just like the gloom, hes playing for pity points (and winning them) so reader comes and dotes on the poor (pathetic) man.

I think sage would realize how he has to do this in slow and small incrimates. Hes smart and calculated, despite his lies, he has a good grasp on reader's world. Slowly, he pulls them away from friends and family. Why would they need anyone when he's here to care for them? Unless absolutely necessary, there's minimal communication with the outside world. There's mandatory dinner for work? Your raise is dependent on it? I suppose we can go, but he has his arm wrapped protectively around their waist the entire time, and he routes towards the door once you can leave. Come on, cant we go home now? His arm's starting to hurt.

overall just gradual manipulation that keeps pushing reader into his arms.

Since he's not in Hyrule anymore, I imagine he gets phantom pains in his arm. like since he's not in a magical(?) land anymore, and his arm isnt natural, he gets phantom pains or small muscle cramps. Obviously while not happy about that, just another factor in his advantage. If he goes out the house he just wears a long sleeve that covers his hand, has pockets, or gloves.

OR

because his arm was Rauru's arm, he actually loses a good portion of his arm on earth, bc what if earth reverses all like mystic/fantasy stuff although that could contradict his existence?? or it just makes him more human-ey?? anyways his arm would probably end around mid bicep, still gets phantom pains. his ears are also normal now! he and reader are now matching!

sage is hardworking and persistent. the angering amount of patience he had to give pays off in time when he finally has reader all to himself. maybe now he can actually rest, especially that hylia and the others dont exist here. hes fully broken away from being a hero and has you at his side, he couldn't be happier!!

ugajsk my mind is mush and this could be out of character for him but i cannot get domestic sage out of my head just them falling into domestic routine once everything is said and done

imagine grocery shopping with him

tldr househusband sage discovers modern amenities, food prices, ect and goes bananas

OKAY BUT ANON THAT SUCH A BIG BRAIN IDEA, SOFT DOMESTIC SAGE IS THE BEST????

Sage as a house husband is just??? This is like perfect for his character!?? He's already got the personality for it, just gotta throw him an apron and get him a ring to prove he's yours.

@neverchecking, @eternadreeblissa I feel like this is something you'd enjoy for sage.

Him slowly trying to isolate the reader from everyone they've ever known and cared about like how he's isolated? And how he just knows how to play up being trapped in a modern world for pity, he really has reader wrapped around his finger. He'd start to adapt far quicker than he let on, learning to read written languages. Who knows, maybe he finds a surprising taste in true crime shows?

And the mandatory work events? He'd both loathe them and love the chance to come off as this perfect trophy husband at readers side, to let anyone else there know reader is his. and his alone. And I was actually panning to have him meet some of readers friends! not quite in a thing to do with work but just as a causal meet up at their place so there's no way out!

Also about his arm just being gone? Like hello?? He would absolutely play that up for pity points, and he would get them. Yeah prosthetics exist here but they aren't easy to get or learn to use. And with the disappearance of his pointed ears, he wouldn't even be able to be called hylian anymore so he'd have another thing of hylia's put firmly behind him.

Personally, my favourite thing like that to happen would be a mix, where he keeps some traits but others become more dulled. He keeps the arm's abilities but it looks more human-like now than before, his ears are still pointed but now they look more like what is possible for humans than how exaggerated hylian ears are.

as for grocery shopping and shopping in general, he'd be so sceptical of letting reader eat anything brought from a store - he has no way to make sure they're safe!! so I raise you sage becoming a gardener, even if it's just little window sill herbs or tomatoes, granted he'd still have to shop for most things in this world. He'd just far prefer to go as far back the line as he can, buying from farmers' markets even if it meant having to travel further for things he needs. One bonus is that markets like that can sometimes be cheaper, as long as he's willing to argue with the sellers.

[knoxic]

Doing a "who's most likely to" thingy but the answers are based on my DR:)

Who's most likely to-

1. Get arrested?

Hotch and Spencer. (let's be honest, they would make amazing unsubs with minds like that)

2. Act on a crush?

Rossi. (he would not hesitate. Derek claims its him but if he actually likes someone he will panic and avoid talking to them)

3. Join the army?

Hotch. (it would be like going to the gym for him yk, wouldn't feel a thing)

4. Win the lottery?

JJ. (buys them for fun and habit cuz her mom used to buy those every once in a while, except she's lucky and has won 5k as a teen and a motorcycle when she joined the BAU (she sold it))

5. Be late to an event?

Derek. (would claim its because Pen took too long to do her makeup but its actually because he does everything last minute and keeps dragging out leaving the house)

6. Lose their phone?

Garcia. (she has at least 3 phones in her bag but somehow always forgets one when we go out, once used my phone to text Derek and he thought I was confessing to him)

7. Always carry a pen?

Rossi. (has one specific pen that he wont share and it's a obligatory part of his outfit)

8. Start a fire?

Emily. (exploded our microwave heating up a coffe, Hotch made her buy a new one and she's now banished from the kitchen, only uses when one of us goes with her)

9. Go surfing?

Derek. (it's a talent, didn't know he could surf until after his 30s)

10. Cheat on a test?

Honestly everyone but Spencer... (Reid would be too scared to cheat but knows the answers anyway. I imagine if it's a work test to see if they're able to work, everyone would know which answers they're supposed to give. Hotch and Rossi have and would absolutely manipulate those exams to be able to work)

11. Cheat on a partner?

Derek. (Before Savannah, wouldn't cheat physically but got bored of his gfs really fast and would think of others while they're together. Eventually made them broke up with him so he wouldn't be the bad guy, canon)

12. Talk in their sleep?

Spencer and Emily (Spencer just rambles inaudible words but Emily is full on weird random phrases, she tries not to sleep in front of the team or else they'll tease her for it, JJ has a notebook with things Em said when they shared rooms)

13. Get a weird tattoo?

Garcia. (look me in the eye and tell me she never got a badly made tattoo before she joined the team, I dare you. Has a butterfly and some weird unidentified object/animal on her back she got while drunk, she does not remember getting it)

14. Adopt a stray dog?

Garcia and JJ. (while I think none of them would adopt any animals because of work, I do see them taking care of the stray dog to later give them to adoption yk)

15. Become bald-headed

Derek and Emily. (Derek for obvious reasons and Emily because she would totally shave her head if someone dared her)

16. Blow all their money on a impulse buy?

Garcia and Hotch. (Garcia is also a obvious one but Hotch would totally spend a tone if he saw something Jack has mentioned before, wouldn't hesitate)

17. Have a million followers on social media?

Garcia and Rossi (I would totally follow her on IG and Twitter, and Rossi because of the books, maybe he even buys followers... marketing reasons)

18. Cancel plans at the last second?

Hotch. (Already did that, has no problems cancelling plans unless it involves Jack)

19. Throw a fit during a game of monopoly?

Spencer and Derek(Already did, refuses to play again, everytime Derek makes him remember he almost cries. Derek is a sore loser)

20. Sleep anywhere anytime?

Emily. (I mentioned before that she tries to not sleep in front of the team and she really does but not always succeed, plane naps are the best for her)

21. Be the first one to die during a zombie apocalypse?

Derek. (thinks he could survive and would try to prove, would die in his 3rd zombie. I would also say Spencer but he would probably be so disgusted by the zombies that he wouldn't even go out to fight them)

22. Be the next USA president?

Hotch and Rossi. (ppl told Hotch he could but he refuses to believe, thinks politicians are dirty and thats an offence to him. Before his retirement Rossi was extremely involved with politics, after he came back and changed his mentality he thinks the same as Hotch (besties))

23. Be a stand-up comedian?

Rossi. (italian jokes, has a notebook with jokes he's heard along the way)

24. Start their own business?

Also Rossi, and Emily (Rossi would open an Italian restaurant that plays jazz all night. Emily would open a bar, totally safe for women. Free tequila shots for the ladies every now and then, calls you a uber and has ppl to accompany you if you need help, banishment rule If guys are being 🤮🤮🤮, bathrooms are safe for trans and nb ppl)

25. Be my best friend forever?

Emily. (the absolutely greatest friend you could have. made her my kids godmother)

26. Become a professional gambler?

Spencer. (do I need to explain?)

27. Have more than 10 piercings?

Garcia and Emily (both have had their ears full pierced but took it all off when they started working, Pen still used some of them when we go out)

28. Leave everything and move to another country?

Hotch. (already did... would be angry at himself if it had to happened after he joined the team)

29. Lock themselves out of the house?

Garcia. (most of the times she's too drunk to even remember where her house is, the few times she remembered she also lost her key during the front yard walk to her door, called morgan and he found her asleep on the floor)

30. Become a nun?

JJ. (grew up in a extremely religious family, wanted to be one before her sister died.)

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