#Vlennoxdr

[knoxic]

Doing a "who's most likely to" thingy but the answers are based on my DR:)

Who's most likely to-

1. Get arrested?

Hotch and Spencer. (let's be honest, they would make amazing unsubs with minds like that)

2. Act on a crush?

Rossi. (he would not hesitate. Derek claims its him but if he actually likes someone he will panic and avoid talking to them)

3. Join the army?

Hotch. (it would be like going to the gym for him yk, wouldn't feel a thing)

4. Win the lottery?

JJ. (buys them for fun and habit cuz her mom used to buy those every once in a while, except she's lucky and has won 5k as a teen and a motorcycle when she joined the BAU (she sold it))

5. Be late to an event?

Derek. (would claim its because Pen took too long to do her makeup but its actually because he does everything last minute and keeps dragging out leaving the house)

6. Lose their phone?

Garcia. (she has at least 3 phones in her bag but somehow always forgets one when we go out, once used my phone to text Derek and he thought I was confessing to him)

7. Always carry a pen?

Rossi. (has one specific pen that he wont share and it's a obligatory part of his outfit)

8. Start a fire?

Emily. (exploded our microwave heating up a coffe, Hotch made her buy a new one and she's now banished from the kitchen, only uses when one of us goes with her)

9. Go surfing?

Derek. (it's a talent, didn't know he could surf until after his 30s)

10. Cheat on a test?

Honestly everyone but Spencer... (Reid would be too scared to cheat but knows the answers anyway. I imagine if it's a work test to see if they're able to work, everyone would know which answers they're supposed to give. Hotch and Rossi have and would absolutely manipulate those exams to be able to work)

11. Cheat on a partner?

Derek. (Before Savannah, wouldn't cheat physically but got bored of his gfs really fast and would think of others while they're together. Eventually made them broke up with him so he wouldn't be the bad guy, canon)

12. Talk in their sleep?

Spencer and Emily (Spencer just rambles inaudible words but Emily is full on weird random phrases, she tries not to sleep in front of the team or else they'll tease her for it, JJ has a notebook with things Em said when they shared rooms)

13. Get a weird tattoo?

Garcia. (look me in the eye and tell me she never got a badly made tattoo before she joined the team, I dare you. Has a butterfly and some weird unidentified object/animal on her back she got while drunk, she does not remember getting it)

14. Adopt a stray dog?

Garcia and JJ. (while I think none of them would adopt any animals because of work, I do see them taking care of the stray dog to later give them to adoption yk)

15. Become bald-headed

Derek and Emily. (Derek for obvious reasons and Emily because she would totally shave her head if someone dared her)

16. Blow all their money on a impulse buy?

Garcia and Hotch. (Garcia is also a obvious one but Hotch would totally spend a tone if he saw something Jack has mentioned before, wouldn't hesitate)

17. Have a million followers on social media?

Garcia and Rossi (I would totally follow her on IG and Twitter, and Rossi because of the books, maybe he even buys followers... marketing reasons)

18. Cancel plans at the last second?

Hotch. (Already did that, has no problems cancelling plans unless it involves Jack)

19. Throw a fit during a game of monopoly?

Spencer and Derek(Already did, refuses to play again, everytime Derek makes him remember he almost cries. Derek is a sore loser)

20. Sleep anywhere anytime?

Emily. (I mentioned before that she tries to not sleep in front of the team and she really does but not always succeed, plane naps are the best for her)

21. Be the first one to die during a zombie apocalypse?

Derek. (thinks he could survive and would try to prove, would die in his 3rd zombie. I would also say Spencer but he would probably be so disgusted by the zombies that he wouldn't even go out to fight them)

22. Be the next USA president?

Hotch and Rossi. (ppl told Hotch he could but he refuses to believe, thinks politicians are dirty and thats an offence to him. Before his retirement Rossi was extremely involved with politics, after he came back and changed his mentality he thinks the same as Hotch (besties))

23. Be a stand-up comedian?

Rossi. (italian jokes, has a notebook with jokes he's heard along the way)

24. Start their own business?

Also Rossi, and Emily (Rossi would open an Italian restaurant that plays jazz all night. Emily would open a bar, totally safe for women. Free tequila shots for the ladies every now and then, calls you a uber and has ppl to accompany you if you need help, banishment rule If guys are being 🤮🤮🤮, bathrooms are safe for trans and nb ppl)

25. Be my best friend forever?

Emily. (the absolutely greatest friend you could have. made her my kids godmother)

26. Become a professional gambler?

Spencer. (do I need to explain?)

27. Have more than 10 piercings?

Garcia and Emily (both have had their ears full pierced but took it all off when they started working, Pen still used some of them when we go out)

28. Leave everything and move to another country?

Hotch. (already did... would be angry at himself if it had to happened after he joined the team)

29. Lock themselves out of the house?

Garcia. (most of the times she's too drunk to even remember where her house is, the few times she remembered she also lost her key during the front yard walk to her door, called morgan and he found her asleep on the floor)

30. Become a nun?

JJ. (grew up in a extremely religious family, wanted to be one before her sister died.)

found the questions on pinterest, just search "most likely to questions"

[knoxic]

CRIMINAL MINDS DR

poor Hotch, I swear I dont hurt him on purpose.

[knoxic]

CRIMINAL MINDS DR

just some random texting:)

context:

a case had gone wrong and they were worried about me.

Hotch and I both got hurt so we were dealing with it together. (we also kinda started dating...)

eventually I had some time off, i went to spend it with Emily but they had a case so I stayed with Sergio.

Derek was being himself as usual.

[knoxic]

CRIMINAL MINDS DR

(During those messages Aaron is my best friend and I spend time with Jack whenever I get a day off. The timeline is around season 5/6 but Jack is 6/7 and Hailey died when he was 3.)

BAU gc

[knoxic]

Random Criminal Minds canon things (based on my DR)

(I think it accidentally happened because of my headcannons?)

divided it into 2 parts, 2nd one under the cut is NSFW and contains: panic attacks, anxiety, homophobia, suicidal thoughts. (but there is a fun part dw)

SFW

• Derek is lactose intolerant, still drinks milk almost every day and loves icecream.

• Dave and Hotch genuinely consider each other best friends.

• Hotch and Pen give the best birthday gifts.

• Derek broke someone's nose because they made fun of Spencer behind his back, Spencer doesn't know what happened and gave him a lecture on why he shouldn't pick fights.

• JJ is in charge of ordering food and coffe while we're on cases, chooses the best food and place and somehow always knows what we want.

• Dave made pizza one night and now Garcia keeps begging him to open a Pizza restaurant. (he rolls his eyes and says "it's a family thing" as an excuse every times she asks)

• Hotch kept groaning and mumbling for 7 hours straight because our coffe machine was broken and we couldn't get coffee.

• Emily has terrible migraines, only Spencer and I know because we shared medicines once.

• Hotch thinks everything he does as a father is wrong and Jack hates him for them. Cried on my shoulder one night after Jack called him his hero.

• Out of everyone in the team, JJ has the best aim and worst eye sight. (she wears lenses at work and glasses at home)

• Hotch banished Spencer from making everyone's coffee ever since he put 4 cubes of sugar in each cup. (I let him do mine tho)

• Dave keeps 3 bottles of whiskey in his office. Tried sneaking one in Hotch's office once claiming its "so you can have a drink every time you're feeling miserable:)", Hotch felt like it was wrong so he took it home without Dave noticing (he did).

• Penelope once dreamed about getting married and having a kid, sometimes cry herself to sleep missing the baby.

• JJ never took Henry to a church but taught him about every religion she knows so he could choose if he wanted to have one. Will teaches him to be acceptable and open minded.

• Spencer likes fem terms (especially being called pretty)

• Jack has a doll named Lisa, plays with her as if she was a baby (Hotch gets baby fever watching him).

• Hotch, Spencer and Emily are queers.

• Penelope is pansexual.

NSFW

this is the not fun part... feel free to skip

• Emily once had a panic attack because Strauss forced her to "sit properly", her mom used to tell her that all the time.

• Hotch has CPTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)

• JJ was homophobic, knows its wrong but its the way she was raised to be as a kid, grew out of it but still catches herself judging ppl.

• Emily had a ED for a great part of her life.

•Emily and Spencer have chronic anxiety.

• Hotch used to have suicidal thoughts during his 8-18 years, never tried anything because he heard his dad say that "people who kill themselves are cowards"

• Derek had toxic relationships (on both his side and his partners side) for years,

• Before Haley, Hotch had an abusive relationship with a girl older than him (he was a minor, she wasn't...).

ehhh

• Emily used to only have one night threesomes to avoid relationships and feelings.

• Spencer and Ethan had a established dom/sub relationship. It ended when they had a fight over Spencer going to the FBI, Ethan knew it meant they wouldn't see each other much and he just wanted to settle down with Spence, so he left.

now to the fun part:))

• Hotch likes to have his nipples sucked.

• Spencer has a thing for biting (being bitten and biting)

• Derek tried men before, it didn't stick but he had a great time.

• Hotch also tried men (college) but he actually liked it, would do it again 100%, asked Haley to top him once but she refused.

• Emily owns a strap-on.

• Hotch and Spencer have a insane libido, literally the wind could turn them on.

• JJ could cum just from giving head.

• Hotch + couch sex =👩‍🦽

• Suck JJ's Fingers.

• Make love = Hotch Derek

Fuck = JJ Emily

Have sex = Spencer Pen

• Penelope is not extremely experienced but she does it good.

• Hotch loves body worship (giving)

• Kinks

Hotch = Breeding, Exhibitionism, Pregnancy, Age Play, Quirofilia (hands🥴), Somno, Praise (giving) Dd/Lg, Deepthroat.

Derek = Collaring, Blindfold, Roleplaying, Corruption, Dom/sub.

Emily = Somno, Corruption, Choking,

JJ = Cuckolding, Corruption, Deepthroat

Penelope = Roleplaying, Age Play, Spitting,

Spencer = Bondage, Praise, Quirofilia, Corruption.

(btw I'm not sure if Hotch got more kinks because hes kinky or because I just (sexually) know him better than the rest?)

anyways:) that was it, might do another one if I remember other things later.

[knoxic]

doing who's most likely to (again) except this time is about me and Hotch and it's a little different

SFW

1. Who makes the puckered lips while the other kisses them?

me, Aaron holds ppls head when he kisses.

2. Who's the early bird/night owl?

both of us are night owls, tho we both hate mornings hes more used to waking up early.

3. Who's the big spoon?

normally Aaron is, sometimes he likes to be hold tho.

4. Who hogs the cover?

me, he could not care less about covers.

5. Who loves to cuddle?

Aaron, too touch starved, wont let me sleep alone if he can help.

6. Who wakes the other up with kisses?

Aaron, knows I hate waking up early and tries to make it better with kisses. (it works)

7. Who usually has nightmares?

Aaron. I got some weird dream but his are insane... (Foyet and all that...)

8. Who has deep emotional thoughts late at night?

Me, insomnia kicks in and I cant stop thinking, Aaron always stays awake so we can talk it off.

9. Who sleeps in their underwear/naked and who sleeps in their pajamas?

Cant sleep in pajamas... usually just a shirt. Aaron used to be like that but after Jack he started wearing pjs. (the wildest he would go now is only wearing pants)

10. Who makes the coffe?

Aaron. (years of practice)

11. Who kills the spiders?

Aaron. I have arachnophobia:)

12. Who's scared of thunderstorms?

Me but Aaron doesn't sleep during thunderstorms because Jack is scared too.

13. Who loves to use cute names?

Aaron:), comes up with the cutest names out of nowhere.

14. Who's scared of the dark?

Aaron, sleeps with the bathroom light on or with the curtains a little open.

15. Who likes sweet / who likes sour?

We both love sweets but Aaron cant handle sour and makes disgusted faces when I eat them.

NSFW

1. Who's top/bottom?

we both switch, depends on the mood.

2. Who showers who basks in the afterglow?

We both shower because of Jack (in case he comes to sleep with us) but if he's away we don't leave the bed.

3. Who's deep and slow, who's hard and fast?

Both deep and slow.

4. Who's more kinky?

Aaron. Even tho we stick to the classics he's a lot more kinky.

5. Who's more experienced?

We both almost have the same experience, he just slept around a little more. (we never really tried new things before each other tho)

6. Who kisses during sex?

Aaron, literally cant come if we didn't kiss.

7. Who does it naked who keeps clothes on?

We normally do it with clothes, only naked if its completely dark. Aaron hates showing his scars and I keep mine on so he doesn't feel weird.

8. Who would have a threesome?

Aaron, only with ppl he trusts and only men, feels like cheating for him if it's a woman, gets turned by the idea of another guy watching us. (only he kisses me tho)

9. Who prefers condoms who barebacks?

Barebacking>>> (also... breeding kink)

10. Who's more active? (always ready for it)

Aaron. Gets turned on by the wind.