#PEOPLE ARE FINALLY REALIZING HOW STUPID THAT DISCOURSE IS

[carlyraejepsans]

god fucking bless this poor girl, I wouldn't wish the scrutiny on anyone, but if her leaking the no-fly list somehow has the ripple effect of collectively snapping thousands of queer discourse addled 14 year olds out of their bullshit i am going to laugh so hard.

[lunar-years]

The horrifying fandom takes and theories it's generated aside, one of things I really love about Ted Lasso is the way it handles motherhood/babies/the future for its two main female characters. Like, on the one hand is Rebecca who so obviously and vocally has always wanted to be a mother, but married someone who didn't feel the same way and put her own desires aside for his, then had that fact thrown back in her face years later after he's abused and divorced her and gotten another woman pregnant.

A big part of Rebecca's arc is the constant frustration of having to accept the hand life's dealt her even when it's the opposite of everything she'd always wanted for herself. She's someone who wanted to be a wife and wanted to be mother and then finds herself in middle age as neither of those things. Then she makes the decision to pursue it on her own (which was awesome, I love that they showed her going to the fertility clinic and inquiring about whether pregnancy was a possibility for her! there's not way to become a mother!) and then she has to face her inability to get pregnant. And it sucks! but as sad as that is, it's also very...real? And the show doesn't miraculously let her have a miracle pregnancy anyway (like stupider shows would do, tbh), but instead has Rebecca come to terms with herself and her life under its new circumstances. She finds purpose outside of the things she once thought she would be and the roles her younger self assumed she would play as an adult. By the final episode, she's calling Richmond her family! She's realized what she wants most is the stay at the Club. She's come into her own. And then, yeah, there's the little ambiguous opening of Matthijs and his daughter and her possible future there with them--but importantly it isn't the end all to her happiness, anymore. It's a sign that she still has opportunities, just maybe not in the way she first envisioned, that no doors have closed forever and that what she's been looking for might come from unexpected places. there's no timeline!

And then you have Keeley, who's in her 30s and focused on her career and still figuring out how she wants that to look and who she wants to be. And yeah she's dating, and she has a serious onscreen relationship, but the topic of children (or marriage for that matter) never even once comes up! It's not made some big arc about how she doesn't want those things, and it's not some big fight with Roy or a goofy "really, you've never thought about babies?' conversation with Rebecca, it's just never something that's made relevant to her character nor her growth! She's a whole person without those things and she's clearly not actively pursuing them. And these two women with very different goals and wants are completely supportive of one another--it's never even a question :)

I thought both of their storylines in that sense were very refreshing to see on TV and like, comforting? If anything, the discourse it's spawned has been very...eye-opening...about how conditioned people have become to expect traditional marriage and babies storylines from every single female character. But the show doesn't give in to that mentality and instead shows that there's not one way a family has to look and not one way to be a mother and there isn't a set timeline for any of this stuff even if later you change your mind. And then if things don't turn out how you think, it doesn't mean you aren't going to end up with a good life! that was such a good message.

[utilitycaster]

no d20 spoilers here since i know you know the gist of the drama but the fact that both kipperlilly (and the ratgrinders as a whole) and laudna are sending the their respective fandoms into meltdowns is FASCINATING to me!!! Especially happening at roughly the same time

I am now officially caught up and. not to brag but, called it re: the Rat Grinders, huh, except it's even more stupid. Like. The "but they're literally minors?" argument sort of falls apart given that they're the same age as the Bad Kids, and are actively trying to kill them, the "but redemption" argument doesn't mean shit since at no point did they make any forays towards redemption and indeed sicced a bunch of dragons on the Bad Kids, and so we're left with nothing but an impotent desire to not have a sick-ass battle in the finale of a D20 Campaign. And, perhaps, an uncomfortable realization that they are not unlike the Rat Grinders and the narrative said "lmao yeah you suck".

Laudna's shit? not that different actually. Like there's a lot of reasons why the arguments defending her are bullshit but the biggest one is that the "Laudna has never done anything wrong ever in her life and Imogen is her tether" crowd have painted themselves into a delightfully tiny little corner and they can't hide it anymore. Like, okay, so, is Laudna in control of her actions? Because if so she just attacked Orym in the middle of the night. Is she not? Because if so why hasn't she made the efforts that Chetney and FCG and Imogen (at least sometimes) did to address that? If the issue is trauma why is hers more valid than that of others? If it's abuse tell me how you feel about Caleb, Fjord, Beau, and Percy? Why is Orym shutting down the conversation when he says the Vanguard killed his family but Laudna's not doing the same when she tells Ashton not to speak to her of loneliness and Chetney not to speak to her of loss when she doesn't have a monopoly on either?

Why is it Bells Hells' job to endlessly accomodate Laudna and why are so many people suddenly talking about Bells Hells as an abstract 7-headed entity that didn't deal with Laudna's problems when those same people (if they were around at the time of the gnarlrock airing, and many of them weren't) were like "NO THEY SHOULD MAKE UP AS FAST AS POSSIBLE AND IMOGEN IS A BITCH BECAUSE LAUDNA DIDN'T MEAN IT." Why wasn't it an issue for them when Laudna's ranting about her time in Issylra and how hard it was got shut down by Imogen kissing her because that's why it didn't stay in the spotlight. Why wasn't it an issue for them when Imogen said "if you need her, that's my answer"? Why is it Orym or "Bells Hells" in the abstract who never spent time on Laudna's trauma after months if not years of throwing a fit any time someone (often me) (not always though) pointed out how much Imogen and Laudna were shoving under the rug and not dealing with? What does it say that you can't even expect Laudna's partner to be the one supporting her through this- it has to be Orym? Why doesn't Laudna have any responsibility here? At minimum she could have spoken up about the sword at at least two if not three junctures and she didn't.

There's a lot of things I hold in contempt, and after the obvious things like bigotry, two I really detest are hypocrisy and dereliction of responsibility. It's been extremely telling with both the D20 and CR discourse that people do not like seeing the story and the fandom say "hey actually you need to take responsibility for your actions, you only get redemption if you work for it, and if you leave a room hoping someone will follow you without saying that's what you want? Don't be surprised if no one does." The reason everyone was preparing to stop Laudna was because she was, in every action and decision, showing herself to be a person in need of being stopped. Can you describe this perfect balance of gentleness in which she's never pushed too hard but she does talk about her trauma and work through it and in doing so leaves Delilah? Have you demanded any other member of Bells Hells be granted that same gentleness and patience and kindness or do you think Orym should get over his grief because it's inconvenient to your arguments.

Just as the Rat Grinders show the narrative saying "being an entitled, resentful, jealous person who hurts others from jealousy makes you an easy tool to be manipulated into cruelty and you need to deal with that," I think Laudna shows the narrative (and certainly the fandom) saying "you do have an obligation to deal with your trauma, especially if it causes you to hurt others, and you can ask for help but you can't just sit on your ass waiting for someone else to initiate the process for you" as well as "if you do hurt people because of your trauma they may be angry with you, this may shape how they see you, and they are justified in that because you hurt them" and I think people in both fandoms hate being told that because I think a lot of the people sparking the discourse really do think that you can shield yourself from criticism over your hurtful actions by claiming trauma or neurodivergence or mental illness or whatever and it's like, no, you do still suck, you just also had sucky things happen to you as well.

[fulltacs]

may I respectfully ask what is happening in this myka discourse? I’ve gotten the gist of it and I’ve seen a lot of other creators give their side and I know soapskneebrace is the victim, but could I get like a timeline rq? I’m so confused and I’ve tried piecing things together but my rat brain cannot do this 😭

the 29th of May the first post on the blog codslut appears (yes, it’s only been that long)

June 1st- intro post and "ask me questions about the USMC"

June 2nd- they make this post

things heat up on June 8th

June 9th June 10th

June 11th- a wild @sheheal appears! /sheheal jumps into everyone's mentions screaming "I'M WORRIED ABOUT MYKA SHE MIGHT'VE KILLED HERSELF"

June 13th- omg :( guyz :(

surely people aren't foolish enough to fall for this?

...oh.

June 14th- finally some common sense

things are gonna calm down now, right?

...goddammit.

not-so-vagueposts from beloved authors pour in that they're exhausted and ready to jump ship. Madi, who has never done anything wrong in their life btw, makes a farewell post on the night of the 17th.

atp i have already made the monumentally stupid decision to fuck around and find out because i'm annoyed and had noticed some activity but hadn't thought to screenshot it

oh i guess it wasn't that stupid

NOW we have radio silence from /sheheal

the morning of the 18th Early summarizes things pretty well

fin.

just kidding people were still being assholes but that's only semi-related to Myka/Hannah

bloopers:

WOW putting dates on this made me realize how goofy this whole debacle was.

now I'm wondering when did the post mentioning the "grange hall" disappear? [ETA: NEVERMIND THAT WAS A MIX-UP LMAO]

the tags on this lol. r/iamverybadass

referring to herself as a "civvie" here (would a Marine who served for 7 years ever refer to themselves as a civvie? idk maybe. but as my roommate who actually served in the USMC said: sus)

[funhouse-mirror-barbie]

Thoughts on “Loser Baby”

—TW: talk about sexual assault/self-blaming for SA/internalized victim-blaming

I watched episode 4 of Hazbin. Warning that this will be partially more of a personal vent as well.

In regards to everything with the discourse surrounding episode 4–The arguments on Threads and all the talk about depiction of sexual assault and abuse. Well, it’s made me reflect a bit on my own assault.

And what made me reflect on it more than anything wasn’t actually “Poison”, although I will talk about my personal feelings on that later, it was “Loser, Baby”

I want to talk about my thoughts on the song—but before I do I’m going to talk briefly about my experience with sexual assault.

If I’m being honest, I feel like I have to bring it up. With all the contention surrounding the episode, I’m worried that if I try and just give my opinion, fans of the series will try and “disprove” my feelings or opinions on the song and episode.

Or say that I’m shutting down victims, even though I’m just trying to talk about how the song made me feel in relation to my own experience with sexual assault.

So. Here we go.

Final tw—talk of sexual assault/groping/internalized victim-blaming

I hesitate to even call it an assault, because I was groped, and I feel guilty calling it that. Like, there are victims who have been actually physically assaulted and raped and had it so much worse, and so I don’t have the right to call it “assault”.

Maybe I minimize it because it makes it less scary, the idea that there are people who just believe they can do whatever they want to you and your body. I don’t, and won’t, call myself a survivor because I just can’t when I think about everything others have had to go through and still survive. All I had to survive was the shame of what happened to me, and the shitty hangover I had the next day.

Anyway.

When I living abroad as a teacher, I was groped by a stranger multiple times while I was out drinking with coworkers. I didn’t speak the local language fluently. I’m pretty sure I was 24.

At the time I was really really drunk. I don’t remember a lot of that night, just that every-time I got up from our booth to go to the bathroom or get a drink this old man at the bar kept touching my ass.

And I remember not understanding what was happening at first, and then slowly realizing the situation. After that I know I drunkenly I told him off to his face angrily. I remember shouting “I do not forgive you” in the local language. I remember storming outside the bar. I remember that when I was screaming at this man who believed he had the authority to touch my body without my consent, he was smirking and smiling at me, unimpressed by my indignation.

My coworkers came outside and asked me if I needed a taxi to get home but I was so embarrassed that I said I was okay and walked home. I called my friend who was also a foreigner like me and told her what happened. I talked to her most of the walk home, and she comforted me and distracted me by telling me about her day when I asked her to.

I remember as I got close to my apartment I finally fell apart. I just have this memory of leaning up against a telephone poll down the street from my apartment building and sobbing against it. It was probably somewhere between 1 and 2 in the morning, and I had never felt more alone in my life.

I felt so embarrassed and so so stupid. Like. Why had I decided to drink that much? If I hadn’t I would’ve been able to tell what was going on sooner. Maybe I could have stopped it! Maybe the guy wouldn’t have touched me at all if I had been sober! I felt humiliated and violated and like I had made a fool of myself.

In short. I felt like a loser.

What I’ve come to realize since then is that no. I am not a loser. I didn’t do anything wrong that night.

It was the man that groped me, the man that wrongly believed he had a right to touch my body wherever he wanted, who was the loser.

I think that’s why the song “Loser Baby”, to me, is so so much worse than anything Poison could have portrayed. And why it feels so so unnecessarily hurtful.

I don’t want to “reclaim” the feeling I had that night. I want to scream and scream and scream at the man who assaulted me until his head pops like a balloon.

I want to tell EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. Who has ever been touched or groped or assaulted or worse that, no, it’s not your fault. It will never be your fault. You did not do anything wrong. You are not to blame for this. You are not a loser, and you have nothing, nothing, NOTHING to be ashamed of.

And. I think I also want to somehow minimize what happened, because I know that worse has happened to other people.

When I think about this—and don’t worry, I think about it very rarely now—but when I do, a part of me says “you’re complaining about that? A couple of ass pats and grabs? What’s wrong with you? Other people have been raped! What you went through was nothing! Quit whining and feeling sorry for yourself”

And the same way I try to minimize my own feelings and pain about when I was sexually assaulted, Husk minimizes Angel Dusts feelings and trauma around his abusive relationship. I realized that was a big part of why the song upset me so much too.

In the show Husk sings to Angel about how he’s being a baby. About how he’s whining and lots of people have it bad or are also in shitty situations and are losers so he should embrace it. That they’re losers together!

Except after seeing the beginning of the episode and after seeing the montage of abuse Angel went through in Poison, I don’t want him to think he’s a loser. He’s not. He’s not sloppy seconds, he’s not used goods, or a degenerate, or a cum-dumpster, or “problematic”.

He’s not those things to me anyway. To me, he’s an abuse survivor who deserves love and respect and to be told that he is not to blame for his abuse.

And I really don’t think the intent behind the song was to say that he is all those things and that he is truly a loser. At least. I hope that wasn’t the intent. But I personally have a really REALLY hard time interpreting it any other way.

If the song makes you feel empowered, or safe, or anything positive, I want you to know that I am truly, truly not trying to take those feelings away from you. Nothing I say can invalidate your feelings, your opinions, your passion for things you love. Please remember that.

I’m just talking about my experience and my own feelings regarding the song and the episode. And well.

It made me feel real bad.

(Final note—it’s okay to reblog this—but PLEASE do not use it as a way to shut survivors or victims who feel differently than me down. Please don’t use it to invalidate anyone’s feelings or opinions. I wanted to share my feelings here, because I felt strongly about doing so, because I felt like maybe I was just crazy and the only one feeling hurt by this at all, and because I knew if I didn’t get them out somewhere I was just going to fester on them until I got even more upset.)

[khaopybara]

Top ten seductive/hot Ray moments according to you? 😊 You can just list them or yap about them. Whatever you want 🤗🤭

*Cracks knuckles* Anon, first of all, thank you for asking. In this dissertation, I’ll unravel all the moments Ray made me pause for a second or ten because he looked absolutely out of this world hot/seductive/enchanting/surreal. For the purposes of this, I’ll try not to overlap my Ray’s greatest hits with Sarah’s, who has already pointed out some excellent moments here. I agree with basically every one of her choices, but it’s not like we lacked on hot scenes from Ray. Because I’ll take every opportunity I have to gif Only Friends because at the time it was airing, I didn’t possess the skills to do a thing for the show, I certainly have a gifset queued for later this evening, and I hope it shows up 😀. Now, without further ado, let’s begin.

1. Checking Sand out after he lit his cigarette, episode 1.

Already starting by doing something I said I wouldn’t do, but listen, right when Sand walks off after lighting his cigarette, Ray just looks at him and checks him out with such a laid-back charm. You can clearly see he’s getting ready to hunt and his eyes are on his prey. Honestly, 10/10, no notes, super-hot.

2. Stop playing and tell me what you wanna tell me, episode 6.

If I’m not mistaken, SandRay only has three scenes in episode 6 and this one is the least angry one. Ray has been trying to reach Sand who has been actively ignoring him after the disaster at Sand’s apartment (when he was going to get birthday sex and instead got, I’m my crush’s second option). Suddenly, Sand contacts him and he thinks they’ll finally reconcile, but instead he’s faced with Sand trying to manipulate him by using his feelings for Mew. Ray ain’t stupid, he acts on his emotions quick and hot, but he knew he was being played, and right there when he sighs and rolls his eyes and forces Sand to go to the point? Quite hot.

3. Smoking in the bathtub with Sand, episode 11.

How do I describe this one? Maybe it’s the peacefulness in Ray and like, the genuine happiness from having cleared the misunderstanding with Sand and with no immediate issues in sight (we don’t count the substances abuses for this) that simply makes him glow. His hot score is high. His attractiveness score is high. Happy Ray makes him look hot.

4. Deal with him or I’ll do it myself, episode 12.

Possessive and mad Ray will always have a place in my heart. In this one, he was not only pissed, but he was also fucking insecure the man he recently realized he was in love with was going to ditch him for the hot muscular ex-boyfriend, and he still had in it him to say if you’re going to pick him let me know but if you pick me, deal with this quick or I’ll do it my way. So good.

5. The boy is mine, episode 2.

Ray being a little shit is one of my favorite types of Ray. In this case, it’s a good type of little shit because here he is making sure for the first time in his and Sand’s relationship that Sand will chose him before anyone else. The little satisfied smirk as Amm walks off because he won? Amazing. We love confidence.

6. Take the shirt off me, episode 5.

What a fucking menace, Ray Pakorn. He wanted to be fucked the whole day that day but unfortunately, Sand is working class man and had places to be and things to do. Doesn’t mean Ray can’t get his way, and he will get his way some way or another. When he told Sand to take his very tight shirt off him, I was already at the other side of the room screaming silently. I appreciate Sand’s self-control. I would have none.

7. Stop fooling yourself, Sand, episode 8.

I don’t know how many of you are traumatized by episode 8. For me, it’s pure suffering. Maybe it’s also because discourse that week literally anywhere was insufferable. But anyway, Joker!Ray is a nightmare. He’s drunk and high and very out of his mind but stay with me a little bit. The I can have feelings for as many people as I want thing? Problematic? Yes, but also kind of hot ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

8. He could convince you to kill someone or at least help him get rid of the body with his eyes alone, episode 8.

Ray being a little shit has a certain charm, we must agree on that. You have to admit that you need a certain level of confidence and lack of shame to show up to the person you didn’t pick and say, “hey, how about you help me with community service, hun?” And Sand folded like a wet piece of paper, and do you know why? Because Ray had his best pleading for cock 🥺 eyes on, and he was so charming and so manipulative, and so attractive. (I mean, the poking thing? It’s endearing.)

9. Just Ray, episode 2.

I think this is a serious case of lone wolf hotness or something. There’s just something especially attractive about Ray being by himself near the pool, with his sunglasses and a flask.

10. Watching Sand, episode 3.

Sand knows for sure how to fuck someone good, because Ray followed this man looking for a round 2 since that morning they woke up together, and he was sure he’d get that when he invited Sand to play at the hostel’s party. He had eyes on Sand up until Boston reminded him he should have feelings for Mew or whatever. He’s just exhaling hot energy. Let’s never forget the scene we didn’t have of Ray throwing his cup after his “confrontation” with Top, too.

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/740136068340482048/the-funniest-dni-i-ever-encountered-in-all-my-12?source=share

As a House Martell stan, it's been interesting to watch the evolution of that particular corner of the ASOIAF fandom over the years. For a while, because they were less present on the show (and their actual focus on the show was pretty bungled), they were mostly the favorites of superfans who'd read the books and therefore were deeply devoted to the whole ASOIAF universe, and given how much that means memorizing various types of Targaryen incest over the years, were almost never antis. A lot of people were also drawn to that they were the ~sexy, liberated house, as well as there being a fair number of POC who identified with some of the few non-white people in those books who were actually fully-realized characters (in the books, not so much in the show). IME it was usually people who were also shipping a lot of the other popular "problematic" ships in the fandom like Jaime/Cersei and Sansa/Petyr Baelish.

Then, at some point - particularly after the show ended and the fandom shrunk a lot - it got infected with a bunch of people writing long essays about how Daenerys and the entire Targaryen family were inherently "white supremacist" (previously, it had been more common for POC and other fans who focused on anti-racism to stan Daenerys, and point out that what the final season did with her was some white bullshit that tried to conflate killing oppressors like slavers with killing poor downtrodden people) and there ended up being a fandom fight between those people who saw the Targaryens as the more racist house or the Starks, but they all stanned Martells but in a very shallow sort of way just because they were the POC house. It's also worth nothing that Dorne has equal primogeniture - women can inherit, and in the books it's Doran's eldest daughter, Arianne, who is his heir, even though he has two younger sons - and it also is more accepting of LGBTQ+ people and bastards and general "sex outside of marriage" than most of the rest of Westeros, so it attracts a lot of people who are into them for that reason. I mean, I like them for that reason among others, but of course that's going to be a magnet to people who want to prove that they're extra special progressive for stanning them over like, the Lannisters.

Also, probably worth noting, the people in the second group were generally younger. Book-centric fans generally tend to be older IME in ASOIAF fandom. I feel like whenever a fandom is younger, there's more likely to be more anti behavior.

Anyway it was very weird to get back into ASOIAF when I read Fire and Blood and then when House of the Dragon started airing, and feeling like "my corner" of the fandom had become completely unrecognizable in my absence.

Also, I suspect it's probably drawing in some people who just really like Pedro Pascal. (It was better when it was drawing in the Alexander Siddig stans from DS9 fandom, snerk. Although even that fandom has had an obnoxious influx of younger purity-policing virtue-signalling types discovering it these days, writing stupid discourse about how Garak/Garashir is problematic and people should instead ship characters who don't like each other that much and don't interact much one-on-one because the combinations of them are more progressive or something.... sigh! Anyway, probably not helped by the fact that Game of Thrones completely wasted him, even though his character was one of the best ones in the books and a big one that drew me into loving House Martell. He would've been great as book!Doran, but alas....)

I'm also going to say that as others have pointed out, I'll always be mystified by the fact that ASOIAF even HAS antis. If you're that opposed to incest, age-disparate relationships, violence, etc. anything controversial, how can you stan the actual canon of that show? Or the books, which arguably have even more rape and incest and ephebephilia going on. It just seems like you'd have to have a very adversarial relationship with canon to a point that I just don't understand why you don't pick another fandom. Of course, it's probably really just that antis are hypocrites.

--

Hypocrites, yes. But also drawn to material that they're not comfortable being drawn to. The younger they are, the more the cognitive dissonance makes them act out.

I don't condone it, but I do understand it.

[violottie]

I cant stress enough how much bi lesbians and bi lesbian discourse flared up my SO-ocd, I was fine for a few months and then I returned to this side of tumblr and I get reminded of them. One of my worst fears is that I am somehow a “bi lesbian” or if after all these years of questioning and finally coming to the conclusion that I’m a lesbian I’ll turn out to be straight in the end. Idk if I should have stayed on the art side of tumblr but where else do I find other lesbians??? I wish I could go back to when I didn’t know “bi lesbians” existed it was easier back then. Apparently the only thing to make intrusive thoughts subside is to be like “so what if I’m not a lesbian, who cares” but I cant do that. I wanna go back to when I didn’t know there were people who deliberately fake being gay because that’s also one of my fears,, even though when I realized I was a lesbian it felt like I REALIZED it rather than chose it

(this is gonna be long but it's very important to talk about so just a heads up on that)

i am so so sorry to hear this, and im infuriated that these fucking creeps in the "community" have caused not only so much blatant lesbophobia to spread but also have caused so much harm to lesbians.

i am right with you because ive been through, and still go through sometimes, what you're experiencing. its terrifying that all this bullshit can snowball and make any doubts we lesbians already have from living in this heterosexual patriarchal society double and multiply even more viciously.

my internalised lesbophobia has worsened also. i doubt myself alot and more often thanks to all this bs. its... i dont even have words to express how damaging lesbophobia, especially from within the "community", is.

it causes harm and trauma and pain and suffering for lesbians, but all these stupid juvenile shits just think it doesnt matter because "uwu theyre so kweer and cool now"

it sucks... but i need you to know it is not your fault that you feel this way.

no matter what anyone inside or outside the community says, and no matter what your spiralling thoughts might make you believe as a result of lesbophobia inside and outside the community, you are not straight, you are not a "bi lesbian", you are not bisexual. you are a lesbian.

i know it is so so hard to just say but i promise you, nothing they say will ever ever change the reality of your lesbianism. i promise you.

it hurts, and its beyond infuriating to have to share space with these disrespectful bastards who coopt our lived experience for a moment of attempted self-actualisation, and that pain deserves to be acknowledged and soothed, not pushed away.

i wish i could give you a hug rn honestly because this shit just fucking sucks. i too wish i could go back to the time when these idiots werent even a concept in my mind or memory, but if there is any advice i can give you to help ease the torment of this constant barrage, it is this:

❤️🧡🤍🩷💖

1) know, for a fact, that nothing anyone, and i mean ANYONE says and no matter how loud they say it, will ever change the lived and exact reality of your innate sexuality.

nothing will ever magic away your lesbianism. it is wired into you, it IS you, a very central part of your personhood. that is not something that any words, especially words shat out of the asshole of a dickhead child on the internet, can ever change.

im not disregarding the hurt, im just reminding you that who you are, who you truly are, cannot change because of the words that hurt. especially because you know deep down that those words are not true.

because being a lesbian is who you are. it is not a quota to reach, or what you do, it is who we are. innately. you know where your natural attactions lie, what genders draw your attraction exclusively and without effort. you know that deep down. we are literally born this way. words cannot change that.

❤️🧡🤍🩷💖

2) the best thing to do whenever you accidentally glimpse said bullshit is to block them and focus on uplifting the actual lesbian community.

lesbians community is such an integral lifeline, i cannot emphasise the sheer importance of enough.

these idiots are, after all, idiots and do not deserve your energy, your time or your pain. they will never matter, and the truth is, they only exist on the internet among weirdos who have no sense of self so seek it by stealing bits and pieces from other peoples personal experience and identity.

they are and always will be inauthentic, unlike you.

❤️🧡🤍🩷💖

3) find and focus on the joy of your lesbianism individually and in lesbian community with other lesbians.

We lesbians are blessed to experience the best kind of human life possible: lesbianism.

our sexuality is bold and strong and proud and beautiful and brilliant and effervescent. it is perfect and brave and worthy of honor and praise and celebration and respect.

our community of lesbians is just as exquisite as we are individually. we are diverse and divine. every butch, femme, stud, stone, masc and feminine lesbian; every trans woman, transmasc, transfem and nonbinary lesbian; every black and brown and lesbian of color; every aromantic, asexual, aroace, non-partnering and polyamourous lesbian; every lesbian of every age and race is so overflown with wisdom and joy and love and brilliance. there is nothing more empowering as a lesbian and nothing that strengthens lesbian pride more than being in a community of lesbians and finding joy in ourselves through each other.

and im not just saying this to be mushy. i mean it. lesbians are divine, and thus, you are also divine.

you are perfect as a lesbian because you ARE a lesbian. you are incredible and intelligent and brilliant and brave.

nothing will change the brilliance of who you are, and in everything you are as a lesbian, you have a universe of lesbians who have been, who are and who will be, all of whom have not only been through the same and similar demeaning bs from the same kind of lesbophobic idiots, but they fought it back and survived and lived and thrived as lesbians.

you are just as strong as every lesbian who has been and is. and you are not alone. i promise you.

i am slowly rebuilding the community of lesbians on this blog that i had on my old one, but i promise you, on my blog you are safe. i swear, i will always always put lesbians first here, and that includes you. i will always defend and support and celebrate lesbians first here, and here you will find many other lesbians who will do the same.

❤️🧡🤍🩷💖

i know this was long, im sorry about that but i just need you to know that i see and feel your pain with you, and i need you to know that you arent going through it alone, and you are not alone.

we lesbians have always stuck together to defend and fight for one another, we have always survived, we have always been here, and we always will be.

i hope this reassures you in some way, and know you're always welcome and safe here ❤️🧡🤍🩷💖

[alangdorf]

Aaaaand next off the checklist is Manager Magolor, it seems! I feel the need to clarify this is a while post-RtDL and most likely post-Star Allies too (and probably post-much-needed-therapy) given the temporally anomalous nature of Merry Magoland.

I also feel the need to clarify something weird I said in the initial theory post, even though it most likely goes without saying given some of the design decisions I made here and the sheer power of saying “you know what I mean”, but I think I finally have my thoughts coherently together about The Discourse. Going under the cut given that it is about The Discourse, and also about my personal experience with gender, transition, and internalized misogyny.

First off, if you don’t know what I mean by The Discourse, or why the heck I’m drawing Magolor as a Doomer and not a catboy, in the latter case see my previous posts, and in the former case, there was a line added in Return to Dream Land Deluxe for 100%ing the game where Magolor says he was lying about being from Halcandra. Now I’m not particularly entrenched in the Kirby fandom and generally avoid discourse, but even I’ve seen a lot of people say they think this lore addition was bad and stupid. I totally understand wanting to ignore it, given that the fanbase at large is full of Magolor likers that have elaborate headcanons about Magolor as a Halcandran, and various worldbuilding about Halcandra and the Ancients as informed by the concept. Personally, I had no previous stake in this given that the lore addition was actually the catalyst that got me to really care about Magolor in the first place, and obviously I think it’s interesting to extrapolate from.

Now, the ostensible gut reaction to finding out that Magolor has just been dressing up as an Ancient this whole time is to get really nervous about cultural appropriation. I personally think it’s likely to be more nuanced than a cut-and-dry case of an oppressor stealing from the culture of the oppressed, but given how little we actually know about the Ancients’ place in the Kirby universe both at their height and in the present day, and the fact that I myself am a white American, I’ll just cite Metal General’s RtDLdx pause screen lore, whatever the heck Grand Doomer has going on, and the short story Passing by Nella Larsen (Ok hi! Anxiety-ridden Kit from a week and a half later coming in to clarify that I’m not trying to equate funny little video game aliens to the severity of real life race struggles. As with everything please give me the benefit of the doubt in believing that I have good intentions and understand that there’s nuance but am just not the greatest at talking or thinking and I’m fighting for my life in here[my brain] ok thx bye) that I read in high school as sources for my personal thoughts, and leave the discussion on that subject there. (Oh, I also do like to think about the fact that he said he’s been studying the remnants of the Ancient civilization in Halcandra, for years, alone. Not much of anything with a concrete point to say about that though)

When I last talked about this in my theory post I said I saw it “more like uhhhh trans coding, kinda” and of course drawing this design forced me to confront the question of: now what the heck did I mean I mean by that, exactly?? Well, I thought about it more, and I realized that the much simpler thing to compare it to would be any teen coming-of-age movie where the protagonist dresses up as someone they aren’t because they don’t like who they are until they learn to accept and express themself for who they really are, though this message’s impact is often obfuscated somewhat in practice by Hollywood’s double gut-punch of beauty standards and misogyny. But as for what I was more closely reminded of when I called it trans coding, it was, as it often is, my own complicated journey with gender.

Speaking of, I realize I haven’t been very talkative on tumblr in several years, preferring to talk with close friends on discord rather than with the wider internet and you all know me as afab nb, so I suppose this is the time to come out as… cis, actually. Or rather, uh, transgender/cisgender/genderqueer/nonbinary/female. (Perhaps you can tell why I generally talk about this with people who already know me.) You know how it starts. I never really felt like I fit in with girls growing up, I held disdain for people who were “too girly”, I generally only made friends with nerdy guys, avoided wearing makeup, didn’t care overly much about how I dressed.

Then, five years ago, I discovered that being referred to as “they” made me really happy. I never experienced body dysphoria, but I liked to be able to have a flat chest sometimes. These are things that are still true about me. But feeling decoupled from the concept of womanhood, and, of course, simply growing as a person over time, allowed me to reassess my feelings and internal biases on it. I discovered I have very particular aesthetic preferences, some of which are traditionally very feminine. I started getting into fashion and sewing and started to be happy rather than ambivalent about the way I present myself. (I still don’t wear makeup barely at all.) I realized that what gender you are doesn’t have to mean anything about your particular gender presentation, and that your particular gender presentation doesn’t have to mean anything about what gender you are. I’m still addressing my own internalized misogyny every day, though I like to think I’ve gotten better about it. I’ve learned more about being queer and I’ve learned more about myself.

Over the years I’ve been slowly swinging back around to being comfortable identifying as a woman, and I’m not 100% there yet (I still have a bit of a dysphoric gut reaction to other people referring to me as female, I’ll likely always prefer they/them on the internet at least, and man oh man don’t even get me started on the religion thing. It’s even more complicated somehow and I have trouble talking about it even with close friends and family. I often feel caught between sides on a lot of things just because there’s just very few people who understand wholly where I’m coming from. For one thing, do you know how many weird reactions I’ve gotten to telling people I’m aroace and also getting married in two months? From all kinds of folks), but yeah. That’s how it is. Definitely genderqueer regardless what happens.

So uh, what the heck does any of this have to do with Maggie? I just have a relatively similar thought process regarding him. Uh, metaphorically, I mean; not necessarily with regards to gender. His gijinka designs have definitely turned out really genderqueer but as I’ve said before, this is just what happens whenever I get my little baby hands on new favorite male characters, especially given my penchant for selectively feminine aesthetics and the fact that I’ve never really learned how to draw cis men all that well. He’s also just really hard to put in pants & I wanna show the legs off, I paid money for those

Now for the million dollar question. Do I think any of my interpretation is how HAL actually intended it? Perhaps, but they seem to often leave deep lore things like this deliberately open-ended. So do I think they’re gonna actually do anything with it and make Magolor stop dressing up like an Ancient? Probably not, especially given that the lore bit is a reward for 100%ing the game, practically an easter egg at that point. Magolor is probably the one character who they’re most willing to give new outfits to, but I don’t see that extending to his mainline canon appearance. I think Kirby is a bit too much of a mascot-based franchise to comfortably depart from iconic aspects of their characters for that. They still haven’t given poor Taranza his own theme that isn’t a remix of Dedede’s, for crying out loud.

End of thoughts. Usual disclaimer that I am just one person with limited knowledge and judgement. I wanted to write out this clarification because I was worried my previous comments might look weird in isolation and because I know my Magolor headcanons are very intrinsically tied to The Discourse. It honestly kinda sucks a bit cause while it has been nice to be drawing again, I’ve also been relentlessly serotonin-seeking and I’m way too hungry for interaction & engagement on this, especially given how niche its particular appeal is. Ask box is always open but be warned I have no qualms about setting boundaries and won’t answer anything I don’t want to. Thanks for reading! - Love, Catboy “🪺” Discourse

[caputvulpinum]

Me, when I started to follow you: Nah, I don't need to block the casandra tag. I enjoy reading discourse!

Me, upon finally realizing the kind of discourse tends to end up on your blog: Oh god. Tag blocking function, you're about to get some USE

(It turns out that when you've been very careful about following decent people through the years, you forget what utter stupidity ends up on this site. (You are also decent people, of course, just the only one I follow willing to brave the discourse that you do)

The cassandra tag came from me just making a one-off joke the first time this happened and now it's my discourse tag that I use exclusively for the idiotic hollerings of weirdos.

Long term followers know I don't take tag requests so the fact that I actually make a dedicated point to tag for #modern day cassandra really shows how bonkers this gets.

[thirdstrikes]

i remember when i equated my worth with people online, and im so happy to be past that. i remember what fandom drama is like and how upset and frustrated i would get. how people would equate all my posts to stupid little fights, or would include me in discourse that i was never involved in. i remember inserting myself into petty spats because i felt righteous, and how i'd poke the tiger just to be on the right side of things. i would reach out to things that hurt me just to say i'm a victim, or be surprised when people bit back. my late teens and early 20s are just so far gone now that i can't even remember the person i used to be. it's amazing how freeing and how fortunate i am to be above all that, have moved past all that, and just focus on living my life now. im more than fandom and social media, im worth more than a follow.

and it's a breath of fresh air to finally realize that.

[ubyr-babaj]

I guess I just really want some mundane whump where Houltfield's relationships start to unravel.

Like, the mental image of Renfield a few years after the movie, addicted to his antidepressants/"mild" flavor of benzos, stuck in an unfulfilling relationship with a bunch of stagnating survivors. He realizes the support group never truly listened to each other and the only thing they have in common is the whole "my ex is a narcissist" thing, but even that isn't true, because they all have fundamentally different experiences with different people. He realizes that Mark is still a Christian therapist and starts picking up on all the microagressions the guy drops on the queer members of the group.

His relationship with Rebecca is a mess too, because she's a straight A-girl from a police family, and he spent the last hundred years sugaring for a vampire and artfully rearranging people's innards. Like, she doesn't understand how he can just blow insane amounts of money on stupid shit or go out and hook up with a random person.

Also yeah, his occasional attempts to date don't really feel that fulfilling either, because it's either people who simply see him as a hot piece of ass or people who're on 85 layers of discourse he doesn't care much about.

Bonus points if he switches therapists and the new one finally diagnoses him with NPD.

[heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon]

Yeah, so...Steven Universe Culture still attracts the most abrasive shithead tenderqueers from all sides, I see:

And saiscribbles is a goddamn idiot 40 year old turbovirgin and is probably a vaush enjoyer ...

Put her channel on my "do not recommend" like a week ago after this post happened , saw that Lily Orchard made another video about Hazbin, my eyes rolled into the back of my head when I realized I would probably have to keep lurking around Sais channel for a while anyway if I wanted to see sai covering that because "enemy of my enemy" is still my friend" kinda, got curious, opened a private window to see if she had reacted to Orchard's other Hazbin video yet, she did, chose to view that shit in a private window in case The Bad Baby Meteora Redesign V-Tuber decided to say anything especially heinous in her edging contest with Orchard, and I had to turn that shit off within the hour.. Because surprise surprise, saiscribbles is:

Ableist

Biphobic

ANTI KINK AT PRIDE ...

Which yeah, I just found out because she went on like a major kinkphobic tangent about it an hour into her reaction to Lily, which doesn't help since you can tell that Lily is definitely kinkphobic too, which I'm so glad I just have both channels on my "do not recommend" and now I definitely know that I won't be watching Sai again because at that specific point with Lily's covert anti kink at pride shit and queerphobia and Sai's outright anti kink at pride shit and queerphobia it really does feel like you're watching ...

Which really doesn't help when one of the abrasive lesbian muppets fighting with the other abrasive Indiana Grande lesbian muppet is already baby coded ...

2 Abrasive As Shit Abled-Bodied Butch Lesbian Muppets Who Refuse To Work On Themselves 1 Glass of Water... I wonder who will melt like Paper Jam Dipper first ...

I can't believe I had to use an Alex Hirsch gif again ...

Remember kids...

Daron Nefcy Says Kink at Pride:

Alex Hirsch says Cops at Pride:

Steven Universe cried out "Both Sides! UWU" and then Angel Dust sat down beside him during the parade in full Drag and Kinky boots and said: "STOP CRYING STEVEN UNIVERSE!!!! ;)" *STEALS YOUR VOICE IN ITALIAN* and then Star Butterfly asked Angel how to steal other peoples voices for chaos purposes and then they both started a riot...

Can y'all imagine being an adult and watching Hazbin Hotel while being anti kink at pride though? Or anti kink in general?

Because yeah, anti kink discourse of any kind? Also...

And the fact that I can even make jokes like this with the source materiel just proves how Star vs. The Forces of Evil is still THE GOAT, or maybe even the Rainbow Baphomet in the Gimp Mask that bridges between the dimensions that allow Star and Hazbin to fuck so much. No exceptions.

I wasted time watching a Steven Stans ableist, kinkphobic shit stream when I could've been finishing watching Sailor Moon...

And yes: Finally watching an anime in full for the first time ever, that you've been trying to access since your teen years, which just so happens to be one of the biggest inspirations for your all time favorite cartoon that only came out in your early 20s, in your early 30s, is still a better, healthier, use of time than being an abrasive bitch about Steven Universe in your 40s, no matter what side of that stupid discourse you're on...

[donnerpartyofone]

The morning of my big public speaking thing, I wake up at 6 because my back hurts so bad from sleeping weird I can hardly stand it. Realize that I ruined the clothes I was supposed to wear because I forgot how to take care of them. Realize that I lost my allergy pills, even though I'm away from home and living out of a bag and there's not many places that anything I own could possibly be. My hairdresser who is also my friend, and I probably should have cut off the service relationship when the friendship started, texted me last thing last night and first thing this morning to ask if I need a haircut, adding all kinds of hypotheses about why I might or might not need a haircut. Texts me again to confirm that she realizes I'm not home and am probably preparing for my event. She obviously needs me to get back to her for personal, emotional reasons, and I'm thinking about how even though I care about her, a lot of our interactions seem to be one-way maintenance routines. Thinking about how everyone I know is screwed up and wondering how they got to adulthood without figuring out what to do with themselves. Thinking about how not everyone is like this, how I'm the only one in my own family who is like this. Thinking about when I thought I finally figured out what was wrong with me and it was a big relief, and then one of my closest friends who has the same problem let it slip that she doesn't believe me. Back to just being a no-reason, no-excuse piece of shit; back to witlessly destroying everything in my path just randomly and unintentionally, not because I'm disordered and maybe I can't totally help it. Thinking about how the only other person who is at least as much of a wreck as I am just blames everyone else, from his parents to his coworkers, for all of his failures. There is nothing in his life that isn't someone else's fault. I at least have this, that I can take responsibility. It's only me, I'm my only real problem. I'm sick of dealing with it, though. It's so inconvenient. It's a waste of resources. Usually when you have a situation that you determine cannot be improved, after all due diligence, you disconnect from it and move on. If I were my own employee, I'd fire myself for negligence and incompetence. If I were my own roommate, I'd kick myself out for messing up the house and wrecking all my stuff all the time. If I were my own girlfriend, I'd break up with myself in a heartbeat and everyone would ask what took me so long. But you're not allowed to do any of that stuff with yourself, it's against the law where I'm from. I'm always thinking about this episode of a sitcom by a certain recently canceled standup comedian where he has to babysit a psychotic little boy. He finds the kid in the bathtub soaking in his own diarrhea, and the kid says, "My mommy says anything I do is ok because I love myself." I feel like that's the world we live in. The only thing that's not illegal is loving yourself unconditionally, and if you break the law you get punished with le grand tumblr discourse about how low self-esteem is the specific result of being a solipsistic egomaniac; if you hate yourself that means you actually love yourself, but in the bad way, so actually you really are a big stupid asshole, just not for the reason you thought. Now I have to wait until other people are awake so I can make a lot of noise leaving the house to buy an iron and replace my allergy pills, because buying my way out of my problems is the only thing I'm capable of doing, for now, while I still have some money saved up. After it runs out, it's just going to be total carnage from then on.

[swordformike]

genuine question, have you ever give a damn for Palestine before this noah issue? like idk spread awareness, support campaigns, share donations, sign petitions, educate yourselves and other people who aren't aware, advocate for Palestinian rights? i follow you on twitter and i know damn well you haven't done any of that. from what i've seen, most of yall young people on twitter just want to gain cookie points by posting essays full of hatred so you can appear morally righteous and educated when in fact yall really haven't done anything to attempt to help and even spread awareness about what's actually happening

i usually just rt and post about stuff i see on my tl. unfortunately, there is barely anything regarding palestine because of how everyone went radio silent after 2021 for some reason.

i am Not resourceful enough to donate or support campaigns, but i try my best to spread awareness.

i DO give a fuck about palestinians, that’s why i’m so worked up about this situation. i DID care even before All This, and i HAVE been caring since 2021, constantly educating myself about stuff like this, and i DID reblog a lot about these ‘politics’ on my last blog, which i deactivated right at the end of ‘21.

I’m not that active on tumblr as i was before for multiple reasons, so it’s gotten harder for me to be able to spread my knowledge unlike how it was on my last blog.

like i said, i dont see much about palestine on twitter or tumblr unfortunately but when i do, i rt and actually spread it.

i see a lot more stuff discussing palestine on instagram AND I DO SPEAD IT.

i dont really talk about things when it isn’t relevant or when i don’t see much if it, and i realize that maybe *i* should be instigating the conversation because of how important it is, so i’m sorry.

but please don’t rely on me for end-all resources and information when i’m just some teen running a blog dedicated to hyperfixation.

please stop assuming that i don’t give a fuck about palestine just because i have not posted much about it, but i promise you i’ve tried my best to spread awareness when there was more conversation surrounding it.

i wouldn’t have spread what you assume to be hatred if y’all weren’t so hopelessly naive about this situation. i thought this discourse would evolve into a more serious and general discussion about palestine, but all y’all do is reduce what we’re saying to just being ‘hateful’ towards noah and calling us chronically online. it’s relevant so I’m trying to contribute to the conversation that is finally existing.

and I’m not trying to gain ‘cookie points’ or whatever. i’m not trying to appear morally righteous or educated. i’m just trying to talk about all i know so far, since y’all are being stupid and it’s extremely relevant right now.

just because i have a stan twitter account with ‘minor’ in my bio doesn’t mean I’m not a real person outside of twitter and tumblr who is actively trying to learn and educate myself, even if i wasn’t as vocal about it.

but i see your point about me not spreading awareness, so i will try my best to do so. so thanks for that.

[liliesandparchment]

[This little baby is now called To Suspend Time and the full version is posted on AO3 here. It is a short 4.9k words which is one of my SHORTEST EVER and I am extremely proud of the fact as I am incapable of writing short ANYTHING. Please show some love! And I'm sorry for the delay but a huge huge thanks to everyone who supported the little parts here on Tumblr, you have my deepest affection forever and ever. ❤️]

Bridgerton AU 02x08 onwards: Part 5

~Edwina~

The strangest, most startled and uncomfortable silence followed the Viscount’s words. She had stared at him throughout his rather passionate discourse but tried to pull her gaze away for propriety’s sake; he had shrugged off his brother and stalked to the other end of the room, jaw stiff and his back ramrod straight. Distance did not exactly serve to hide his struggle to find air, however, and she was now insightful enough to understand that the semblance of calm he seemed desperate for was something only Kate could ever bring him.

Lady Danbury looked properly exasperated by the circumstances, which Edwina could understand but honestly could not truly sympathize with. She was still struggling to process the fact that the Viscount, who had been ready to marry her, now wished to marry Kate; for whatever false reasons him and his brother would have them believe, they all very obviously knew the truth.

She also realized suddenly that while she was now, thankfully, aware of the feelings that had been brewing, she had extremely foolishly misjudged the true depth of how badly bungled, for the lack of a better word, things had to be from both their ends for the situation to reach the level of skewedness that it had. Naturally, she had spent more time dissecting her sister’s actions and feelings and words and only now, as she watched her once to-be husband’s flexed jaw and shaking shoulders, did she consider the other side of the coin.

 Because that was simply what they were. Two sides of the same coin that was traded too frequently and loosely, only for people to really forget its true value. It was clear to her now more than ever as the rush of memories almost threated to blind her with the stark clarity with which they presented the rather obvious clues she had missed for a good few months.

And she had to simply think of things before the disastrous dinner because she was now sure that once she had moronically declared her love for the Viscount, Kate would have begged him to go forward with the original engagement, despite being completely aware of both of their true feelings by then.

And he had agreed, the stupid stupid love struck man. He had agreed and resigned himself to think of her beautiful Kate as the thorn removed from the blossoming flower of our lives. It was that, more than anything else, that cemented for her how similarly idiotically both the individuals in question operated when faced with fulfilling the wishes of those that they loved the most. It was revolting and terrifying and beautiful at the same time. She simply could not make up her mind.

The first time itself that she had seen the Viscount, in fact, now that she recalled, had been because Kate had tactlessly announced at their first ever ball – I know that gentleman.

Of course, neither of them had acknowledged each other’s presence outside the formalities when they had been introduced but now that she thought about it, she remembered the double take from the Viscount before his eyes had widened, stuck to her beautiful sister’s tall frame and then lowered resolutely and permanently as they had greeted each other.

She recalled Kate’s words the next morning when she had finally provided her list to the three of them with rapidly increasing comprehension – Lord Bridgerton is quite adept at conveying false first impressions. The actual circumstances of their first meeting really provided much needed perspective and context for a lot of things, indeed.

The tiff at the races was unexpected but not exactly a surprise to her – Kate had always been steadfast, stubborn and hard to impress. And it had only reached new levels when she had been pitted against the Viscount but she couldn’t decide if it had been because she had felt personally slighted by his actions and words or simply because they were both so similar that they each couldn’t help but push back at the other. After all, that was definitely what the Viscount had done with the appalling gift-giving and the dramatic display at the soiree, had it not?

And after that, well, it had simply been the final turn down the doomed road, hadn’t it? Just as Lady Danbury had put it. She now suspected that something untoward must have happened during the hunt, as Kate had finally decided to grudgingly acknowledge the decency of the man in whatever vague terms as had been possible for her at the moment, after that particular event.

They had, of course, both been rather transparent about their true feelings on the matter. At least, now that she was shifting her focus to the Viscount, she could find the instances piling up in an unhelpful sort of proof of her own delinquency. It included, but was definitely not limited to his odd focus on arguing with Kate at the races, his shock and distress – and not displeasure as she had originally assumed – during the end of his dance with Kate when he had presumably found out about her future plans, the flash of guilt on both their faces when they had returned to see them with Mr. Brookes, standing a touch too close with the ring stuck on her finger and their eventual panicked glances at each other while it was being tugged off, his observation about Dorset – that whole conversation really – and the stubborn insistence to help her off that had resulted in the unfortunate tumble.

And then, of course, she remembered Kate and her lingering stare, of course she had been a right bloody fool, hadn’t she? It had always been there –

She was snapped out her stupor by the arrival of the footman who proceeded to announce that the Doctor was finished and suddenly, all the air from the room had evaporated and Edwina could only clutch at her mother’s hand as they both shot up from their seats.

Unwillingly and finally, by complete co-incidence, she met the Viscount’s eyes again as they all edged forward to wait for the man and all her previous musings fled her as she met his eyes and simply saw her own painful anticipation reflected back at her. It did not matter what had happened and how it had come to this moment. The only thing that mattered was that there was someone who clearly loved Kate as much as she did, perhaps if not more and she would be damned if she let anyone stand in the way of her sister’s happiness, be it herself, Lady Danbury or the whole damn London ton.

Fin.

To Suspend Time - Find full version on AO3 here. Thank you for reading!💝✨