#PATSY SPEAKS
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munsonsfairy · 1 year ago
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slow dancing with gator while patsy cline plays in the background softly. your head is on his chest really close to heart with his arms around you. the world is quiet and it’s just the two of you. he kisses your forehead and you wish moment could last forever.
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bisexualdinahlance · 1 year ago
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I complain about it so much in different fandoms but it's so wild to me how much media will have a character be like "I listen to XYZ artist and XYZ genre and this song is my favorite" and it fits so well with their personality and upbringing and brings some rich flavor to their character and then fandom is like "they listen to nothing but top 40 pop stars <333"
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cyberpunk-r-j · 2 months ago
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“Let’s be absolutely clear.”
To speak Shakespeare you have to be fit.
Not just physically fit, but throughout the body, breath, voice and speech muscles.
You have to be fit intellectually and emotionally and awake in your spirit.
You have to be passionate, political and curious.
You have to keep up with a writer who operates through his words and forms on every human level.”
-- Patsy Rodenburg, Speaking Shakespeare
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sagewraith · 2 years ago
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Much of what moves us is wrong, our hearts the fools of ancient orders, dressed hilariously in case nothing else is funny.
Patsy Cline, Richard Speakes
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2879DFAR - Patsy Delois Clark
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nerdy-stilinski · 1 year ago
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Show me your pets!!
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polkadotmotmot · 5 months ago
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Alison Friend - Patsy (We didn't dare speak to her before her first coffee), 2024 - Oil on gesso panel
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zablife · 6 days ago
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Joel Takes You on a Road Trip
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Joel Miller x gf reader
A/N: Fall road trip, requested by @huntingingoodwill. Part of my Corrupt a Wish challenge. Patsy Cline Song is "Leavin' on Your Mind."
Warnings: mention of the infected, sedation Corrupt a wish reminder: If you think this story has a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention. Proceed with caution!
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"Ain't falling asleep on me, are ya?" Joel asked, brushing your cheek lightly.
You glanced over at him with a lazy smile as you denied the gentle rocking was indeed lulling you into a comfortable slumber. "Course not," you mumbled over the quiet static of the car radio.
"And here I thought we were gonna have a nice chat," he chuckled, rubbing his thumb over the steering wheel.
You might have noticed the nervous gesture if you hadn't been thoroughly exhausted, a yawn rippling through you as you tried to respond. "Wh-what do you want to...talk about?" you finally managed to ask.
The lines near his temples crinkled slightly in amusement at the sight of your drooping eyelids, prompting him to gently urge, "Go on and close your eyes, darlin'." After the months you'd spent together, he was well aware you couldn't keep them open more than five minutes during long drives. However, the certainty of it gave him pause, an uneasy feeling settling in his gut thinking of the trust you'd placed in him.
Failing to notice his sullen expression, you snuggled down into the passenger's seat with Joel's jacket. Fingers clutching the worn edges of the soft fabric, you gently pulled the weighted material over yourself for warmth, careful to cover the unsightly bite mark on your shoulder. It was a gruesome reminder of the ordeal you'd faced just before meeting the man you now considered your guardian angel.
While others were unwilling to believe your fantastic claim of being bitten without infection, Joel had accepted you into his circle of protection instantly. He offered gentle words of comfort to get you through the early nights when you couldn't sleep out of fear and worry. With steadfast devotion, he promised you'd survive.
When you asked how he could be certain, he swore he'd seen a similar case once before in a young girl named Ellie. Though he was reluctant to speak of her, you learned she'd been like a daughter to him. The heartache in his voice kept you from asking questions about her fate, but the nagging curiosity rarely ceased. Only one thing could distract you from it and that was the sound of Joel's soft, Texas twang.
"Tell me again," you begged, head resting on the rattling window frame and he knew exactly what you meant.
As your eyelids fluttered, the passing shades of orange and red lightly dusted your vision and you began to imagine the kaleidoscope of color around Joel's lakeside cabin this time of year. He'd described it to you many times to satiate your curiosity, yet you still begged for more. You loved the way he spoke about this idyllic place, reciting the details from his memory like a bedtime story.
With a bit of reluctance, his husky voice rumbled to life beside you. "We're gonna follow the main road until it forks. Then 'bout three miles south there's a dirt path that twists and turns so far into the woods you'd think you were goin' back in time."
You exhaled deeply in satisfaction at his familiar tale, relishing the way he embellished the narrative like all good storytellers do.
"After you pass a rickety, old barn, you know you're gettin' close," his voice faded out momentarily as a radio station came into range. Patsy Cline's crisp, clear voice ringing out.
If you got leavin' on your mind Tell me now, get it over
His breathing hitched, eyes staring at the road intently as though deep in thought and you took the opportunity to remind him of the rest.
"The one with the peeling red paint that your uncle helped build," you added, so softy he almost didn't hear you.
"That's right," he agreed with a small nod of his chin. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he continued in the low, deep voice that soothed your soul. "You pass that barn and Grandaddy's cabin sits back there on the far side of the lake. On a calm day the water looks just like glass."
He ventured a wistful glance in your direction, eyes squinting against the sunshine as he tried and failed to picture the two of you standing on the dock. He'd wanted to take you fishing many times and introduce you to the splendid wonder of the surroundings. If not for recent circumstances, you might have lived happily on that forgotten parcel of land as man and wife. Shaking his head to dislodge the notion, he tried to bite back his own anxiety with honeyed promises so sweet he nearly succumbed to them himself.
"We'll fish and skip rocks across the lake," he hummed quietly, caught up in his own daydream. "If you get cold, I'll start a fire in the old wood stove to keep us warm..."
The serene thought made you curl your limbs in tighter, imagining his strong arms cradling you beneath a large quilt. You soon felt your body grow heavy with sleep, the soft rumbling of the engine melding with the strain of a piano and a forlorn voice.
Hurt me now, get it over I may learn to love again
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A sudden jerk jolted you from slumber as the golden sunshine glistening before you sharpened into a ray of bright, white. You moaned, but when it escaped your lips there was a distinct note of pain present.
"Try not to move," a strange voice persisted as the pressure on your shoulder intensified.
"Joel?" you cried out, as you felt yourself being rolled down a long, sterile corridor. Arms and legs flailing in a frenzied panic, you began to reach out for him without success.
"We're going to need more sedation," a second voice announced behind you.
The radio was still playing in the distant recesses of your mind even as you blinked against the harsh light overhead and you struggled to comprehend where you were.
Don't leave me here, in a world Filled with dreams that might have been
"We'll take it from here," the voice near you soothed someone in the distance confidently, but it only worsened the spike of panic coursing through you.
Using all your willpower, you fought to sit up and crane your neck to see around the gurney. You found Joel's grief stricken face staring back at you from the doorway, a young brunette gathered in his arms. As a firm hand pressed you back into the bed, your strangled cry burst forth. "Don't leave me! Joel, please!"
His big brown eyes widened at your plea, helplessly looking between you and her. Just then the girl buried her head to his chest, groaning in agony. "Stay with me, Ellie," he urged as he strode away from you without looking back.
Your brain raced to piece everything together as you felt the sharp sting of a needle going into your arm.
"Shouldn't we alert security?" the nurse by your side hissed at her colleague.
"A life for a life. That was the agreement," you thought the other woman replied as your head grew fuzzy.
The rest of their conversation became a gentle buzzing at your ear as you sunk back against the pillows, the sedatives plunging you into a shadowy world of fantasy.
The tiny cabin stood before you, just as Joel had described, a path of bright orange leaves beckoning you to follow. The only sound was the distinct crunching beneath your boots, keeping count of every step. But when you came to rest, you found yourself alone, abandoned at the edge of a still, dark lake.
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shelaghdette · 8 months ago
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i've said it once, i've said it a million times - NO HETEROSEXUAL EXPLANATION
okay but i'm still thinking about comphet trixie and if i wasn't supposed to read into it, why did she say this to the first character we find out to be a lesbian in the show?? @shelaghdette i'm still having thoughts about this haircut
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astralaffairs · 3 months ago
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put a ring on it 06
title: put a ring on it 06 pairing: philip hamilton x reader words: 15k warnings: gratuitous smut, daddy kink a/n: this is the last part! excepting maybe an epilogue. we'll see on that one. i hope you enjoy it, and it feels very strange for me to be finally finishing this after 6 years. desc: You’ve never liked Philip Hamilton, and you've always assumed the feeling has been mutual. But when you’re roped into pretending to be his girlfriend for a family reunion, you feel all your truths beginning to melt away and find them instead taking form in his smile. tags: @beepbeepstop @stargazelaurens @ivory-haired-queens @exoticxchicken8 @assbuttstyles777 @superbarriobrothers @tf2germanvillain @ela-ena @abundant-stars @heytheredee-lilah @katierpblogg @thisshitfucks @celyndavies @quixoticallydelusional @sothisishappiness @ems-alexandra @yxseminx @sadhwstudent @aiifandomsunite @loonaynay @valleryhyde @lxncelot @checkurwindow @katierpblogg @alievans007@nyxie75 @ii-moonlight-ii @sothisishappiness @ems-alexandra @elegantbutedgy @maxi-ride @moose-on-the-l00se @itshaileyn @someinsanefangirl @theirishhufflepuff @golddiggs-x @drreamhugs @sillyteecup @notebookgirl30 @marvelouslyemily @checkurwindow @kmsmedine 
“What do you mean, you kissed him?”
“I know.” You were in Philip’s room then, calling Patsy for the second time that afternoon. You cringed, pinching the bridge of your nose. As far as you were concerned, the world had been turned entirely on its head since you last spoke with her. “It just… I don’t know; it all happened so fast. I have so much to tell you.”
You recounted your conversation with Peggy, the debacle with your “engagement,” Philip’s reaction to it, and finally, when you found yourself alone with him up in his bedroom, holding him tightly, kissing him softly. It had been five hours since you last called her.
————
EARLIER
At first, he didn’t kiss you back.
When your lips met his, he froze — his embrace was tense, his body rigid against yours as he processed what you’d done, but it was within a moment that he was responding to your touch. He pulled you closer with the hand at the small of your back, and he held you gently, savoring the feeling of your body. That was when you realized what you’d done.
You pulled back abruptly when his tongue brushed against your lower lip, and your eyes were wide. Your words were caught in your throat; you were struggling to keep from choking on them as you pushed yourself off of him, scrambled off of his lap, and his hand was still hovering where your head had been, grasping at the cold air where your warm skin retreated from. His brow was furrowed as he watched you.
“I…” You trailed off, your attempts to speak coming out as stuttered, breathy syllables. “Fuck. I… I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have… fuck.”
“Wait, Y/N, don’t—” But you were already standing, fixing your dress where it’d bunched up around your waist and making your way to the door. “Y/N.”
“I’m sorry, Philip, but I can’t…” You trailed off, trying to find the words, but you let out a frustrated huff, shaking your head as you left.
“Hey, c’mon, wait.” You were still scolding yourself as he went after you, followed you down the staircase. When you neared the bottom of the stairs, his family was hovering — not waiting for you, but within earshot. Philip grabbed you by the arm. “Let’s talk about this.”
“There’s nothing to talk about." His hold on your bicep was gentle, and you didn't struggle to pull away from his grip. You scoffed, cursing yourself inaudibly as you continued down.
“Y/N.” He had paused behind you, but when you didn’t stop, he sighed heavily, and his footsteps were hardly audible over the noise from his family as he hurried after you. He didn't take long to catch up to you, and your teeth clenched when he reached you, walking alongside you with a hand at the small of your back. "What the hell just happened?" he asked urgently.
"A mistake," you insisted, turning your head hardly enough so that he could hear you.
"Then why did you do it?"
You ignored him entirely as one of his relatives caught you by the arm, congratulating you in passing on your engagement, and you offered her a smile in return, squeezed her forearm affectionately. Philip was still staring down at you, visibly annoyed.
"Y'know, if we're gonna pull off this whole 'engaged' thing, you've gotta start acting more like my fiancé." You glanced back with an eyebrow raised.
He huffed. "Sorry if there's something else on my mind right now."
"Just don't let your family see," you told him in a sing-song voice as you caught sight of Georges approaching the pair of you.
“Hey, now there’s the happy couple.” His grin was broad as he approached the pair of you, and Philip forced a smile when Georges nudged his arm. “See, Will didn’t mess things up too bad for you. Everyone’s elated.”
You laughed, and you could only hope that he couldn’t tell that it was strained. “Thanks, Georges. Now we just have to worry about everyone nagging us to set a wedding date.”
“Oh, don’t sweat it. They’re just excited.” He raised an eyebrow, though, fixing his attention on Philip. “But I’m not gonna pretend not to be a little offended that someone hasn’t asked me to be his best man.”
“I’ll get around to it.” Despite his smile, the tension in Philip’s voice was obvious. Georges furrowed his brow.
“Is it really bothering you that much that William spilled?” he asked. “Listen, it was an accident, and—”
“I’m not mad at Will,” he cut Georges off abruptly, and you sighed. “But thanks for your concern.”
Georges pursed his lips, glancing between the two of you — apparently the pair of you weren’t playing off the events of the past few minutes as well as you would’ve hoped. After a moment of silence, Georges said, “Right. Anyway, uh, congrats, you two. I'm gonna go join Emilie outside; I guess I'll see you in a bit?"
"I, actually, am gonna go grab a jacket from my bag. It's gotten cooler out as it's gotten later." You were quick to respond, and Philip raised an eyebrow when you rested a hand on his arm, glanced to him with a strained smile. "But please, go ahead without me. I'll join you in a few."
"No, that's okay. I'll come back up with you." Philip's tone was firm, and you pressed your lips together. You were certain your discomfort was obvious, but you still had to keep up appearances.
"Really, I insist. I'll meet you back down here." Your bright smile didn't meet your eyes as you stared back up at Philip, daring him to turn this into a fight in front of Georges. He just watched you for a moment, eyeing the tension in your stare and the strain in your shoulders. Even your hand on his arm was shaky. He glanced back at Georges. He looked down at you.
"You sure that's what you want?"
"Just give me a minute. I'll be back."
He did not watch you as though he believed you'd be back in a minute. "Fine."
"Alright." Georges broke the standoff between you as he clapped a hand on Philip's shoulder, and the tension between you shattered at once as his focus was shifted. "Wanna grab some drinks? Cooler's on the porch."
Philip nodded before glancing back at you. “We’ll see you soon.”
————
That was the last thing he’d said to you before you shut yourself away in his room once more. You gave Patsy the play-by-play, and there was no doubt that you’d been gone more than just a minute.
"Holy Hell, Y/N. That… that's insane," she said, and you sighed. "Where are you now? Is everyone still around, or has most of his family gone home by now?"
"I'm in his room. A lot of them are still downstairs. I don’t have much time before someone comes looking for me, either — I told them all I was just up here getting a sweater."
"Why the hell are you in his room? Are you waiting for him?" she asked. "If you're calling me, are you sure you're ready to talk to him?"
"No, I know I'm not," you groaned. "But I don't have anywhere else to go. This is where I'm sleeping this weekend, so I don’t have any space to myself."
“Then you’d better figure something out fast.”
“I know, I know.” You sat down on the end of his bed with a huff. “But… I still don’t know how I feel about all this. Or how I feel about him. I don't know what I want."
“I think it's time to figure it out,” she said dryly. You didn’t respond, and after a moment, she asked, “Do you… regret kissing him?”
“I don’t know that, either,” you answered hesitantly.
“D’you regret running off after you kissed him?”
“God, no. I needed to — still need to — sort out how I was feeling.” You flopped onto your back on the bed as you spoke, holding your forehead. “I feel guilty about it, though. Philip obviously wanted to talk through what happened earlier, but I couldn't do it when my head was so scrambled."
"Y/N, for what it's worth, keep in mind that you called me earlier today in a panic because you thought you were crushing on him," she reminded you, "and now you kissed him. And he wants to talk to you about whatever’s going on between you. Do you really still not know what you want?"
"I…" Your voice faltered as you tried to reply. “I know what I’m feeling, but I don’t know what I want. I’m scared, Patsy. He was just trying to comfort me earlier; what if kissing him was totally out of line?”
“Did he kiss you back?”
You pursed your lips. “Yeah.”
“So then who broke it off?”
“...Me.”
“Are you fucking serious right now, Y/N?” You winced at the annoyance in Patsy’s tone. “It’s been, what, five hours since we talked? Earlier, you were telling me that you thought you were only there to make his ex jealous. Now you’re telling me that even after kissing him, having him kiss you back, and you having had to have been the one who broke it off, you still don’t think he wants you? You still don’t think that’s the entire reason you’re there this weekend?”
“I…” You swallowed. “I guess so.”
“That’s fucking stupid,” she snapped. “I told you earlier that you needed to talk to him about how you were feeling, and I’m gonna say the same thing now. Don’t call me back until you’ve communicated.”
“What? Patsy, I don’t—” Your jaw went slack when the dial tone sounded, signifying that the line had dropped. She’d really had the nerve to hang up on you. And after all you’d been through.
You threw your phone onto your bed with an angry huff, and you dropped your hands onto the mattress beside you, groaning loudly.
“So that’s the whole story.” A soft voice at the door to Philip’s bedroom interrupted your pouting, however — immediately, you were shooting back up to where you sat, propped on your hands with your eyes wide. It was his sister Angelica who stood in the doorway, watching you with her arms folded. “I should’ve known you were too good to be true.”
“Angelica,” you said breathlessly. You were frozen to the spot in which you sat. She sighed, walking into his room to join you on the end of his bed. “How much of that did you hear?”
“All of it,” she admitted. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but when you started talking about how, as you put it, ‘all of this was a sham,’ I kind of couldn’t help myself.”
“Yeah,” you said softly. “I can’t blame you.”
“Can I join you?”
“Sure.” You shifted over, and Angelica took a seat beside you. “I’m guessing you want an explanation.”
“I wouldn’t mind one,” she replied quietly. You nodded.
You gave her the abbreviated version, the gentle one; it felt merciful to omit the parts about your long-standing feud with Philip.
“I’m just here doing him a favor,” you concluded weakly, and she pursed her lips.
“Still?”
You frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I did hear that entire call,” she reminded you. Of course. “You kissed him, apparently."
"I…" You couldn't deny it. "Yeah, but… I don't know. It's complicated."
"It sounds complicated," she granted, "but I don't think you're just here doing him a favor anymore."
Your sigh was shaky. “I don’t know what you want me to say," you admitted.
"Do you care about Philip?"
"Of course." The question had you taken aback; your answer was a reflex.
"Then you should be downstairs talking to him instead of hiding up here making phone calls," she said bluntly, and your stare was bewildered. "The least you could do is have an adult conversation about what happened. Philip cares about you, y'know."
"What makes you say that?" The look Angelica gave you was disbelieving, but you didn’t think the question was out of left field. By then, it'd been reinforced by so many of his family members that you knew this was a common understanding, but you couldn't fathom why.
"We've been hearing about you in this house since you showed up as Philip's new coworker. At first it was just in passing as an update about what was going on in the office, that somebody new had joined his department, but you became a recurring character pretty quickly.” The day you’d started that job felt like a lifetime ago, both a different reality and a different version of you who’d walked into that office: recently widowed and sleepwalking through your daily life. Of course, at the time, Philip had known none of that. “I don’t know where this lie started, but Philip’s fond of you. He lights up when he’s talking about you.”
“I think he just finds me entertaining to torment,” you corrected her, but she shook her head.
“It’s always been more than that.” Her insistence was as though it were obvious, immediately apparent to everyone in his life other than you. “If you care about him at all, I think you owe him a conversation about all this.”
All you could do was nod. You wished she’d spare you the lecture, but she was right, even if you didn’t want to accept what that meant for you.
“You’re a good sister, y’know,” you said after a moment, and she smiled.
“Actually, I just like being privy to drama.”
————
You went down with her after that to find Philip — you didn’t yet know what you had to say to him, but you could at least afford him the reassurance that you weren’t avoiding him. After all, he’d done nothing wrong (if you could look past the years he’d spent spinning a lie about your workplace romance).
You found him settled in with Georges and Emilie in the midst of a heated debate over whether sushi is seafood, and he and Georges appeared to be getting worked up to a point where you couldn’t decipher which side either of them was on.
“Y/N, thank God, maybe you can settle this.” Georges was the first to notice your arrival, and your eyebrows shot up. Philip turned quickly upon hearing Georges address you.
“Hey, you came back.” Philip’s voice was soft, and you smiled as you met his eyes.
“Yeah, what did I miss?”
“Is sushi seafood?” Georges' loud voice broke any interaction you were having with Philip, and you raised your eyebrows as you looked over at him, pulling up a chair beside Philip.
“I mean, like, it doesn’t have to have fish in it. Can it be seafood if it's made without food from the sea?” you said.
“That’s what I’m saying,” an exasperated Philip piped up, and Georges groaned.
“Y’know, I hate that there’s someone here to take his side now,” he said seriously, shooting you an exhausted look. “You’re gonna be more trouble to my relationship with him than you’re worth.”
“I’m sure you must be devastated,” you replied dryly, but Emilie smiled.
“I’ve been needing someone to help me keep these two in check, so believe me when I say that I’m thrilled, at least,” she interjected. You still weren’t sure how to respond to people talking to you as if you were a new member of the family.
“Anyway, Philip, can we see your engagement ring now that the secret’s out? I just know it’s gonna be flashy,” Georges said, and Philip offered a weak smile.
“Nah, not right now.” He spared you a hesitant glance. “I don’t have it on me.”
“Where is it? You shouldn’t be leaving your engagement ring just anywhere; it’s too valuable for that.” There was concern in Emilie’s voice.
“It’s safe; don’t worry. We just packed the rings away before coming here,” he said. “I’ll show you both some other time.”
“C’mon, we wanna see it now,” Emilie said. “Can’t you just go get it? Is it upstairs with your bags?”
Philip sighed. “Emilie—”
"We'll go find it later tonight and bring it around tomorrow, alright?" you cut in, and Philip's eyebrows jumped.
"We will?"
You shrugged. "We may as well, if people are curious to see it. I think it's somewhere in one of my bags upstairs; it shouldn't take long to find."
"If you're sure," he acquiesced. You did have a ring for him, if nothing else; you just weren’t sure it would fit him.
By then, the sun was beginning to set, and you were glad that you grabbed yourself a sweater after all on your previous trip upstairs. As Philip and his friends sat and talked, you were content to mostly just listen — you didn’t have any input to offer on the stories from college you were sure they were lamenting for the thousandth time. Angelica joined you all not long after, bringing you a beer you didn’t ask for but, according to her, “you looked like you might need.” Georges and Emilie took the comment in jest, picking on Philip as your grateful gaze wandered back to Angelica. She winked.
Somewhere in the yard, one of Philip’s relatives had lit a bonfire, and after more of the family came outside, you found yourself migrating toward it with Philip in tow. He’d suggested the relocation, noticing your shivering. You’d acquiesced easily. That was how you found yourself beside him on a picnic blanket, melting into yourself where you sat with your knees folded up to your chest as fatigue ebbed at your body. Philip’s younger cousins were roasting marshmallows, and frankly, you would’ve been joining them if you had the energy. However, you were confident that you’d had a longer — and almost certainly more taxing — day than anyone around you, save for Philip. You glanced over at him.
He was watching Eliza Jr. with an amused grin as she tried to fit her small mouth around a s’more, covering the bottom half of her face in chocolate and marshmallow fluff in the process. More graham cracker was going to the grass below her than was staying in her hands, but she looked rather pleased with herself as she shuffled over toward you.
“D’you wanna come roast a marshmallow?” she asked, and it wasn’t until Philip turned to you with an eyebrow raised that you realized she was talking to you. It startled you when his eyes met yours, as though you thought he wouldn’t be able to see you watching him, and it seemed to surprise him nearly as much to see that you had been. Your face was hot when you turned to Eliza.
“I, um… I don’t think so. I’m getting tired, and you’re doing such a good job of it that I wouldn’t wanna take away from your fun.”
She frowned. Apparently your excuse wasn’t good enough for her, but she turned to Philip. “Do you wanna come roast a marshmallow?”
“Not this time, kiddo.” There was a trace of a laugh in his voice as he reached out to wipe a smear of melted chocolate from Eliza’s nose. “Be careful around that fire.”
“Can I roast you a marshmallow?” she asked, and you couldn’t help but smile. She was nothing if not persistent. Philip’s expression mirrored yours.
“I dunno; I think it would be wasted on me. I might head up to bed soon,” he said, and Eliza huffed. He glanced over at you. “You want one, though, princess?”
Eliza’s eyes were wide and hopeful as she looked at you, and you shrugged, your smile endeared. “Yeah, sure, I’ll take one. Thanks, Eliza.”
“You’re welcome. I’m gonna roast you the perfect marshmallow.” She started tottering off back toward the bag of marshmallows before she even finished her declaration, and it made you grin.
“Thanks for being a good sport.” Philip’s voice was soft, and it wasn’t until he spoke that you were quite aware of how close he was beside you. You turned to see him watching Eliza, leaned back on his hands with his legs outstretched on the blanket. “She loves when people let her make things for them. Inherited the family people-pleaser trait, I guess.”
You raised an eyebrow. “What, does it skip a generation?”
He laughed, and the sound was quiet and warm. “Man, can’t even go easy on me after the day you’ve put me through?”
His tone was light, but it held residual bitterness, and your smile faltered. You couldn’t blame him, but the tension in his jaw as the glow from the fire flickered across it had you on guard. “I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to ruin your weekend with your family.”
He turned his head, and you felt hyper-aware of every twitch of every muscle in your body as he looked over your apologetic expression. “Relax. I know,” he assured you after a moment, looking around at the group. “I can’t be mad, anyway. We both know I kinda bullied you into coming here with me.”
“You didn’t bully me into anything,” you replied, and he pursed his lips. You looked down at your hands. “If I was really that opposed to it, I would’ve just gone on the work trip. It’s not that big a deal.”
“But d’you still think this is the lesser of evils?” There was disbelief in his voice. “I’d guess that you also didn’t expect this weekend to get quite so stressful. I think we both just figured it’d be a funny story to tell when we get back.”
“I can’t deny that,” you admitted, glancing around at the group to determine whether you were within earshot of any of his relatives. “But tomorrow’s our last day here. We don’t have to do this for much longer.”
“And then we can go back to being office neighbors who torment each other on the daily?” he asked, and you huffed.
“Woah, you torment me, not the other way around,” you corrected him, and the look he gave you was skeptical.
“So then all the time you spend nitpicking my habits is just, what, collegial cohabitation?” he asked, and his disbelieving tone made you roll your eyes. “You’re more attentive to my ticks than even my mom's ever been.”
“Maybe if your ticks weren’t obstructing my work day I wouldn’t have to pay such close attention.”
“Please, I’m never in your way.”
“You borrow my pens and never give them back.”
“You steal the coffees that Theo brings me.”
“You don’t even pay for them.”
Your retort elicited a smug smile from him, and he shrugged. “I can’t always help being so charismatic, princess. I won’t apologize for the things people do for me because of my natural charm.”
“Natural charm,” you repeated skeptically. “We both know Theo just has a crush on you. It’s honestly getting to be mean the way you keep entertaining it.”
“Theo has a girlfriend,” he informed you, and your eyebrows shot up. You turned your head to look at him, and he eyed your stunned look with amusement. “I’m not leading her on. She runs the coffee shop around the corner from our office, which is why she always brings an extra latte to work. She doesn’t actually drink coffee, but apparently her girl likes making it for her.”
“You’re making that up,” you accused him, but he shook his head.
“You’d know this if you actually ever talked to her,” he said, and you frowned.
“I thought she didn’t like me. She never even says ‘good morning.’”
“She thinks the same about you,” he said, and as your pensive gaze wandered, he went on, “When you started at our office, all you seemed to want to do was put your head down and work. You didn’t give anyone the time of day. I think it just intimidated a lot of people.”
“Yeah, well, I’d recently had my life as I knew it blown to bits. It turns out work is a good distraction when you’re recently widowed.”
“I didn’t know that then,” he said softly, “but it does explain some things. I know I didn’t always treat you the best when you joined staff, and I’m sorry if it made all that harder.”
“Yeah, what was all that about?” Both your and his eyes followed Eliza Jr. across the yard as she stuffed her face with the marshmallow she’d purported to be roasting for you. “We got off to such a bad start, but upon further reflection, I’ve decided you’re not just an egoistic asshole, so what happened? Was it some weird office hazing?”
He sighed. “I just didn’t know what to do when you showed up. Some big shot up-and-comer out of Columbia giving me the silent treatment for eight hours a day. Some part of me figured you thought you were better than me, and another part of me thought you might be right about it.”
“Seriously?” Your brow was furrowed as you looked over at him. “It was the start of my second job out of college, and I was working ridiculously long hours because I was afraid of being alone with my thoughts.”
“Y’know that’s still why Susan pawns my workload off onto you?” he asked. “I thought you were trying to show me up, and she ended up convinced that you were just more reliable.”
“I should start slacking now that she’s stuck with me,” you mused, and he cracked a grin.
“Maybe I’ll finally go back to being top dog around our office then,” he quipped, but you couldn’t find much humor in it.
“So, what, you were just mean to me because you were afraid I’d upstage you? It was just some high-school mean-girl insecurity bullshit?”
“Honestly, it was more because I thought you didn’t like me,” he said. “You barely said a word to me, and when you did, it was usually criticism. You greeted me in the mornings by reminding me that I was late. I remember asking Georges for advice about you, and he told me that if I acted even colder, you’d warm up ‘cause you’d see I wasn’t messing around. I believed that for longer than I’m proud of.”
“That’s the advice Georges gave you?” There was disbelief in your voice, and he just nodded. “He mentioned when we were at his bar that he’d given you some bad advice when I joined our office. When he said that, I wasn’t imagining that he was the reason our working relationship was so bad from the get-go.”
“I took the advice, so I think I’m as much to blame,” he admitted, and you shrugged. “When I started bringing you coffee in the mornings a few weeks later, I was trying to make good ‘cause I realized it was only making things worse.”
“Then I just thought you were hitting on me.”
“I was.” Your eyes widened, but his tone was casual, and he chuckled. “I get in hindsight that it was in poor taste. I think I’m starting to see why you thought I was a nuisance for so long.”
“What d’you mean, ‘thought’?” Your words were sardonic, but he couldn’t take offense at the dry quip. Despite the amusement in his smile, he looked you over with disbelief.
“When are we gonna get past this whole routine of you pretending to hate me?” he asked. You weren’t sure you were comfortable with the audible sincerity in the question; you didn’t know how to answer it. “It’s been a weird day. We both know that. But I think we’re past the point where you can claim you don’t want anything to do with me.”
Your throat was tight, and you were afraid to speak. “We shouldn’t talk about this when your whole family’s around.”
“We’re out of earshot.”
“We should be cautious.”
“Or maybe we should just go up to bed,” he suggested. You swallowed. “It’s getting late.”
“Yeah,” you acquiesced, your breathing shaky, “I guess it is.”
————
You lingered by the fire a bit longer before going upstairs. Eliza Jr. had made another round through the crowd, and she was giving out graham crackers as if she were bestowing awards (“it is an honor and a privilege,” she told you with no further explanation before repeating the same to Philip). You helped pack up the blankets that had been left as Philip’s younger siblings had gone one by one up to bed, and you wished Philip hadn’t been so quick to give you an extra set of hands. You’d have been lying if you said you didn’t offer to do it as a stalling tactic.
You walked together in silence back to the house and upstairs, and he took the blankets you carried to pack them into his family’s linen closet. As you returned to his room, you weren’t sure what to say. You sat on the side of his bed you’d been sleeping on and began to remove your earrings.
“So, that engagement ring you told Georges I have…” You glanced back at him with your eyebrows raised. He leaned back against his desk in the corner of his room, hands in his pockets. “Please tell me that wasn’t a bluff?”
You sighed. “No, no, I have my late husband’s. I didn’t think this through very far, so we’re just gonna have to hope it fits you.”
You withdrew the pendant of your necklace from beneath your dress, turning away from him as you looked down at yourself, but he was silent another moment. You pulled your hair aside and started fiddling with the chain’s clasp. After a moment, you huffed and glanced back at him. "Could I have a hand?"
He was watching you bewildered, and his expression made you furrow your brow. “What?”
“You sure you’re comfortable with me wearing your late husband’s ring?” His voice was soft, apprehensive, and you pursed your lips.
“It’s fine,” you said after a moment. Your voice lacked conviction, and when Philip knit his concerned brow, you gave him a weak smile. “I’m serious. He always loved a good con; he would’ve been in full support.”
“Of his wife loaning his ring out to some other guy?”
“Only as part of an elaborate hoax,” you said. He appeared tepid. “Are you helping me with the clasp or not?”
“...Yeah. Sure.” Though his words were hesitant, you turned back toward his nightstand where you sat, sweeping your hair back over one shoulder. You stood when he reached you, turned away from him, but you visibly flinched when his hands first brushed the back of your neck to take the clasp between his fingers. His movements stalled. “I can just tell my family my ring is being resized or something if this is all too much for you.”
He stood close behind you; though his voice was quiet, its low thrum felt heavy in the proximity. You shook your head.
“That’s okay. I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't alright with it," you assured him. When he didn’t answer, you turned your head to look back at him. His brow was furrowed. "I trust you with it, Philip. Just help me with the necklace, alright?"
"If you're sure." His voice was little more than a whisper, and his hands were gentle with the delicate chain you wore as you turned back around. A beat passed, and he let out a frustrated huff that tickled the hairs on your neck. You shivered. "This clasp doesn't wanna come quietly."
"You might have to wiggle it a bit if it's stuck. Don't worry about breaking it; it's strong."
"I'll do my best," he said. Another moment passed as you both waited patiently for the necklace to come undone, and you looked down at your feet.
"I really am sorry about today, y'know."
“Do you regret it?” His response was immediate, and as you felt the movement of his hands slow against the skin of your neck, your necklace going still, you were confident he was stalling.
“Which part?”
“You know which part.” The impatience in his voice made you sigh. “Do I really have to say it? Or can we finally stop pretending that things haven’t been weird between us all weekend?”
“It hasn’t been weird all weekend.”
“If everything was normal before that, why did you kiss me?”
The question was pointed and blunt, and you could feel your heart rate pick up. Philip slid your necklace off, taking both sides of it in one hand and reaching around you to set it on your (his) bedside table. You leaned away from him as he did so, giving him room to take a step toward the table, but when he did, he didn’t take a step back. He turned to you with his eyebrows raised, and your stomach turned as you found yourself trapped between him and the bed.
“Here, we should see if the ring fits,” you said, voice unsteady as you broke his gaze, reaching around him for the necklace.
“You’ve gotta stop deflecting,” he said impatiently, and you ignored it as you slid the ring off of the necklace’s chain.
“Gimme your hand; I need you to try it on.” You held the ring up to him between your trembling fingers. He eyed you with exasperation.
“Fine.” You inhaled sharply when his steady hand came to cover yours, holding it in the small space between you to still your grip on the ring, and he slid the ring finger of his other hand through it effortlessly. He barely spared it a glance as his tired stare bordered on irritation. “It fits.”
“Yeah.” The word in your anxious, high-pitched voice was barely a breath.
“Now answer me,” he said, raising his eyebrows expectantly. “You can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen.”
You couldn’t meet his eyes; your gaze was stuck on the perfect fit of the ring around his finger. “I…”
“Yeah?”
“I don’t know,” was all you could say at first. Your heart was in your throat; you were struggling to speak past it. “I shouldn’t have done it. I was just… I was sad, and you were comforting me, and this is the first time anyone’s felt like home since…” You trailed off with a tired huff, dropping his now ring-clad hand. “I can’t do this right now. It’s late, and I’m not thinking straight, and I don’t know what you want me to say.”
You pushed past him where he had you cornered, and although he didn’t try to stop you, he rolled his eyes. “You can’t keep using that excuse.”
You didn’t look back at him as you walked toward his bathroom, but his words made you frown. “When have I used that excuse?” you asked incredulously.
“Oh, I don’t know,” he postured, “maybe earlier after you kissed me? You’re messing with my head, Y/N, and it sucks.”
“Like you haven’t been messing with mine all weekend?” you shot back, turning on him furiously. “You wanna know why I kissed you? Well, I want to know why you asked me to come here in the first place.”
He raised an eyebrow. “We’ve covered this.”
“No, actually, I don’t know that we have,” you argued. “I poured my heart out to you about my late husband and gave you a full explanation for why I acted how I did when I joined our office, and you haven’t even explained why you needed a fake girlfriend in the first place.”
He sighed. “I just wanted my parents off my back. They were incessant when they thought I was single.”
“Then why didn’t you change your story once they started insisting you bring me home?” you asked. “You could’ve told them we broke up and that you weren’t back to dating yet. Or that you’d met someone else. But instead you blindly agreed to bring me here before you even knew whether I’d be willing to come.”
“I just wanted them to think I was in a stable relationship,” he defended. “I’m their oldest; I’m supposed to have my shit figured out by now. Nobody wants to hear that I’m all alone with no stable plan for my future. You don’t know how much time they spent trying to control my life when they thought I had my options open.”
“Then why me?” you pushed, and he raised an eyebrow. “Why not tell them it was a friend or someone you met on a dating app? What about Henriette? I’m sure she’d be more than happy to play the part of ‘doting girlfriend’ when your family’s around. The way she fawns over you, I’m surprised she didn’t come up with this story first.” Your tone was jeering, and Philip’s eyes were narrow as he looked you over. His jaw was tense, and you were confident you’d hit a sore spot.
“Henriette’s exactly the problem.” His voice was low, and the frustration in his tone made you raise an eyebrow. “Our relationship was terrible, but my entire family kept trying to push me to marry her. Nobody stopped for even a second to consider whether that was what I wanted.”
“Then grow up and tell them,” you bit back. “Even if they adored her, bursting their bubble about what kind of person she is would’ve still been easier than lying to them for two years about a fake relationship.”
“You don’t get it,” he maintained. “My father sees me as his legacy. He worked his whole life so I could settle down and start a family, and Henriette was his ticket to seeing grandkids. When we broke up, he barely talked to me for weeks. We only started talking again when I told my parents I’d found somebody else.”
“But why me?” you reiterated. “You couldn’t have thought that choosing me was going to make your life easier. When we first met, we barely spoke.”
He eyed you with his tongue burrowed into his cheek for a moment. “I did think it was gonna be an easy out.”
“And what the hell made you think that?”
“The office Christmas party,” he said. “That’s about when I told my family I was seeing someone new.”
You furrowed your brow. “What happened that night that made you decide to tell them that?”
“You really don’t remember?” He quirked a brow, and your expression must have been resolutely blank, because after a moment, he sighed, taking a seat back on the side of his bed. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. I knew you were drinking that night, and I didn’t exactly get a warm welcome back into the office the next Monday.”
“What happened at the Christmas party?”
“It’s more what happened after we left the Christmas party,” he said, and you frowned.
“What does that mean?” you asked, and you narrowed your eyes as you considered the implication in his words. “I’m sorry, we didn’t hook up, did we?”
His eyes widened at the question, the alarm in your voice. “Jesus, no. You were drunk half out of your mind; what kind of person do you think I am?”
“Don’t act like it’s an insane question. Do you even hear yourself? ‘After we left the party’?” you echoed, and he pursed his lips. “You must know how that sounds.”
“Fine, that’s on me,” he admitted. “We didn’t ‘hook up,’ you dragged me out to, like, three different clubs. You were all over me that night. By the time I managed to get you home, you’d pulled my shirt off of my body so that you could wear it.”
“Oh, please, there’s no way I was ‘all over you,’” you scoffed, mocking his voice. “I do remember talking to you at the party, but the rest of this just sounds like revisionist history.”
“What else do you remember from that night?” he asked, and although his tone was accusatory, the question was sincere. “Anything past leaving the office? Do you even remember leaving?”
You pursed your lips as you considered the question; you didn’t want to admit the answer. “I do remember waking up in a shirt that wasn’t mine to credit card charges from bars in the area. I froze the card, though, ‘cause I thought they were fraud.”
The laugh he huffed out sounded vindicated. "There you go."
"But that doesn't prove any of what you're saying."
"Argue all you want, but this is how I remember it," he said, "I'm just trying to explain why I did what I did. I shouldn't have dragged you into all this, but it also wasn't a plot to make you miserable."
"And it didn't occur to you to just cut it when your dad started insisting you bring me home?"
"If I'd told him we broke up, he would've never believed me about anyone else I dated. I would’ve been expected to go back to Henriette." His gaze was low; you were struggling to stay mad as he explained himself. "They can’t stop talking about it while you’re here; imagine how bad it is when you’re not."
You didn’t respond at first; you couldn’t look at him as his words sat with you, and you couldn’t help but quietly resent everyone who’d told you to communicate with Philip. The silence was heavy, but it felt clear. You walked through Philip’s room back toward your suitcase, looking for something to sleep in.
“God, I feel pathetic,” you huffed quietly as you dug through your clothes. Everything had happened so fast, and you’d made so many assumptions, all of them now seemingly incorrect. “I thought this was all a ploy to make Henriette jealous. It somehow feels worse knowing that I’m actually here because you thought I was pining for you.”
“Hang on, that’s not what I said, either,” Philip defended, and you rolled your eyes.
“You can’t walk this one back after you just insisted that I was throwing myself at you at the office Christmas party,” you said. “Spare me the further humiliation.”
“In all fairness, you came onto me like three hours ago,” he pointed out, and when you turned to meet his eyes with a dead stare, you found him watching you with a small, playful smile. “C’mon, princess, don’t tell me the irony’s lost on you.”
“You didn’t exactly shut me down,” you reminded him pointedly, pajamas-in-hand as you stood.
“No, I didn’t.” You raised your eyebrows, and he shrugged, standing to join you at the end of the bed. “What? You want me to deny it?”
“No, I just… didn’t think you’d be so unapologetic about it.”
“I didn’t think you’d want me to apologize.” He folded his arms as he leaned against the bottom post of his bed. “I didn’t drag you into this lie ‘cause I thought you wanted me. You were all over me at that staff Christmas party, but that’s besides the point.”
"Then what… ?" You trailed off, unable to articulate exactly what it was you wanted to ask. You didn't know what to make of his words.
"I know you haven't missed my friends and family telling you how I talk about you. I've been calling home about you since you joined the office, and it's felt pathetic," he confessed, and the way he spoke so frankly put you on edge. You could hardly believe the words coming out of his mouth to a point where you couldn't fathom that he meant what he seemed to. He eyed you hesitantly for a moment. "I felt so dumb doing that that part of me wants to let you keep feeling dumb here for a few more minutes."
"Classy," you commented, and when he laughed, you could feel your face warm.
"Can't help myself," he said. "You kept me sweating bullets all afternoon. I think it would be fair payback."
"That wasn't my greatest move.”
"It scared the shit out of me," he informed you, and you pursed your lips. "A lot’s happened this weekend, but I thought we were at a point where we could finally talk about it."
"I wasn't sure you'd think there was anything worth talking about." Your voice was small.
“Seriously?”
"I figured I was just here to make Henriette jealous. Anything between us was an afterthought.”
“You only met her earlier today. If my plan was just to make her jealous, what about the rest of the weekend?” Your breath stalled as you met his eyes; you were afraid to ask what he meant. You’d been reluctant to assign any meaning to the way he’d sought you out with his family around or the way he spoke to you when nobody was around to hear it. “Not much of the time we spent together was necessary to sell the story that we were dating.”
“We did a pretty good job selling it, though.”
“And then some.” You hadn’t forgotten the way you’d woken up in his arms every morning you spent at his house. You hadn’t missed his excitement for your road trip to his childhood home nor the care he took to make sure you were comfortable at his family dinner. You’d tried to ignore the little touches and passing glances all weekend, but apparently, he knew that you, too, had been keeping score of what was done in private that should have been for show. “I didn’t think I could be any clearer, to be honest. I figured you’d clocked it in the way I seek you out at work, all the time I spend hanging out at your desk.”
“I thought you just found it funny to rile me up.” You shrugged, refusing to acknowledge the heavy implication in his words. It had your heart rate rising; the hand that held your pajamas trembled.
“So you just thought I was an asshole?”
“...Kind of.” You swallowed, and your throat felt tight. He chuckled.
“Looks like Georges was right about me being tactless.”
You wore a small frown when you looked him in the eye, and his gaze was soft as he watched you. His words were heavy with meaning, but the air felt light — it was as though a haze was lifting and you were seeing him clearly for the first time. “What are you saying?”
His smile was melancholy. “You kissed me earlier today, and I thought it meant that something was different. You've gotta have some idea of where I’m coming from when I ask whether I was just in the right place at the right time.”
Your heart was in your throat; you raised your eyebrows. You were sure you looked dumbfounded, but all you felt was sick. “You…?”
“I already feel stupid; don't make me come right out and say it." He raked a hand through his hair as he sighed, and you could only watch him, stunned. "Did it… mean anything? Or were you just looking for comfort?"
Your voice was breathless and weak. “Can’t it be both?”
“That’s such a cop out,” he said, and you sighed.
“I don’t know anymore, Philip; you’ve taken care of me this weekend in a way I never imagined you could, and when everything came crashing down with the truth about my past, I was such a wreck, and it would've been so easy for you to be angry after I was so careless, but you were so gentle with me." You glanced down at the pajamas you were still holding, playing with the fabric between your fingers. You couldn't meet his eyes. "You've been better to me than I've deserved today, and that sucks, because I really had my heart set on hating you when we got back to town."
His smile was soft. “Sorry for making myself so hard to hate.”
“It’s been a real inconvenience.” Though your tone was lighthearted, your nervous gaze was heavy as you looked back at him.
“I think you’ll get over it.” He winked, and you could feel the heat rising from the nape of your neck to the tips of your ears. He looked you over, and a beat passed before he unfolded his arms and took a step toward you, hands in his pockets. “So what now, princess?”
His gaze was confident, expectant as he looked down at you; only the tiny crease in his brow betrayed any crack in his self-assured front. You, however, were a deer in headlights, frozen and sure that this was some kind of trap leading you to meet your maker.
“I don’t know.” You weren’t sure you could force the words from your tongue to form a real answer. You felt faint when he took another step toward you, raising a skeptical eyebrow.
“You don’t hate me, apparently, but you’re giving me a whole lot of non-answers.”
“You’re not exactly asking easy questions,” you defended, and he smiled.
“Then let me give you something a little simpler.” Your breath caught when his stare flickered to your lips, lingering long enough that it was unmistakable. “If I tried to kiss you right now, would you stop me?”
Your eyes were wide as they met his, his confident gaze almost imposing in the proximity. But you didn’t move — you didn’t speak, you didn’t back away, and you certainly didn’t stop him. He took another step, and he reached out, brushed a hair away from your face. “Tell me this isn't what you want, and I won’t bring it up ever again.”
“Philip…” You trailed off when his fingertips brushed over the skin of your cheek, and when he closed the space between you, his hand fell to cup your face. The pajamas you held fell lamely from your limp grasp.
“Yeah?” He raised his eyebrows, and the look in his eyes was expectant as he lifted your chin up toward him. “C’mon. It’s not like you to go all quiet on me. Where’d all those opinions of yours go?”
“I…” He was holding you at your cheek and your waist, pulling you into him, but your arms were still anchored to your sides. You knew what you wanted. But you didn’t know if you could bring yourself to reach out and grab it— no, grab him.
“Do you want this, or don’t you?” He combed a hand into your hair, his eyes following the motion, and his thumb swept down the side of your jaw. “Because, princess, trust me: I know what I want.”
Words were failing you. The silence between you stretched on, but he didn’t press any further; he waited, and his actions were patient. His hand slid from your waist to the small of your back. His eyes were fixed on your lips, so when you spoke, he couldn’t have missed it.
“Please…”
“Please?” he repeated.
“Please kiss me.” Your voice was no louder than a whisper, and after you said it, his smile widened, but it wasn’t smug. His gaze was soft.
“I thought you’d never ask.”
When he leaned down to kiss you, his lips were gentle, and your hands rose to rest on his chest as he pulled you close. Your eyes fluttered shut as your nose brushed against his, and you wrapped your arms around his neck, smiling at the sound that escaped him when you pulled lightly on his hair. His hands settled low on your waist when you pulled him into yourself.
As you threaded a hand into his hair, the way he handled you grew needier; his grip on you tightened, and his mouth against yours became more insistent. His tongue was in your mouth; he held you by the nape of your neck, and you were doing all you could to keep up with him as his touch became sloppy. He pressed open mouthed kisses down your jawline, and you tilted your head back, enjoying the way his grip on you tightened and his hands migrated to your lower back.
You stumbled backwards as he leaned into you, sucking a hickey into the delicate skin of your neck, and though you knew you should’ve stopped him, you couldn’t bring yourself to. You’d deal with the consequences come morning. He hooked a hand under one of your thighs, pulling your leg up to his waist, and you wrapped it around him, pulling his body closer as he pushed you back against the bedroom wall. Your dress was riding up your thighs, but your exposed skin was hardly a fleeting thought as you pulled his head back up to kiss him on the mouth. That time, his lips were slower. After a long moment, he pulled back to look you in the eye.
“I’ve wanted to do that for a while now,” he said, voice breathless, brushing a hair off your forehead, and your chest was heaving.
“Then don’t stop there.” You looked up at him with wide, pleading eyes, and his eyebrows jumped. His hand fell to the side of your head, his thumb brushing over the skin under your ear.
“Really?” Despite the surprise in his voice, he looked far from upset, and you shrugged.
“I mean, as long as you’re amenable,” you said softly, and the tension in his raised eyebrows made you hesitate. “You do want me, don’t you?”
“I do,” he said, but something in his words was tentative, and it made you frown.
“But?” you prodded, and he sighed.
“I need to know if this is a one time thing.” Your eyebrows shot up, and he was quick to continue, “It’s fine if that’s all you want. But I’d rather get on the same page beforehand.”
“I don’t want it to be,” you said. “I don’t know what that means for us going forward, but I don’t want this to be just tonight.”
“First clear answer I’ve gotten today,” he said softly as he leaned in to kiss you once more, and you rolled your eyes. He kissed you hard, shamelessly as you ran your fingers through his hair, and you smiled against his lips. His tongue brushed against yours when his hand ran up your thigh, pushing your dress with it until his fingertips met the lacy material of your panties; though he slid his fingers under their hem, moving toward your inner thigh, his confident lips faltered against yours when you shivered under his touch.
“Can I?” he whispered into your open mouth, and your hand came down to cover his as you sucked softly on his bottom lip. You moved his hand to your center, and you could feel his breath as he inhaled sharply. You released his lip from between yours.
“Please.”
That was all he needed to hear; he ran his hand over your clothed slit, and you tensed, arching against him as your hand ran up his arm. Your breathing was labored when his fingers breached the hem of your panties, and you froze as the fabric pulled at your hips. You squeezed his bicep when his fingertips dipped between your lips, and you dropped your head back against the wall behind you.
“You’re so wet already,” he murmured as he kissed the side of your head.
“I’ve been thinking about having your hands on me for the past hour,” you confessed, and he chuckled.
“The feeling’s mutual.” His slick fingertips circled your clit, and your hips lurched, chasing the feeling of his skin. He only drew back a touch, but the loss of the feeling drew a whimper from your pouted lips, and you rolled your hips down against his hand as you tightened your leg around his waist, pulling him closer. You felt him grin, lips brushing against your ear. “God, you’re needy.”
"Because I need you," you pleaded. "Touch me properly."
“Gladly.” You tensed involuntarily when he rolled your clit against the soft skin of his middle finger, and your breath was caught in your throat, your jaw tight. His touch was alight, and you bit your lip as your hips lurched. “You like that?”
“Mhm.”
“Talk to me, princess. Use your words.” His fingers slid down to your dripping pussy, and you whimpered, tightening your hold on his neck, gripping the collar of his shirt. When he slid two fingers inside you, you gasped, rolling your hips against his hand.
“Fuck,” you breathed as he started thrusting his fingers inside you, and he nipped the skin of your jaw. His other hand lifted the skirt of your dress from your other side, settling at your waist, and as you tried to grind down on him, he pinned your hips back against the wall. “Philip, harder, please.”
“I’ve got you,” he whispered, and when his fingers hit you deeper, his palm struck your clit, and you cried out, scrabbling for purchase on the fabric of his shirt. He pushed another finger inside you without notice, and your moan was stuttered, the stretch just a shadow of a burn as he curled them against your walls; you could feel your knees going weak under your shuddering body. “Just let it out for me.”
And that was all you could do. His hand sped up against you, and one of your hands ran up the back of his neck as the other knitted itself into the front of his shirt; his smile was smug as you frantically grabbed at him. Your whimpers were weak when Philip pressed his fingertips against the front of your walls, and he felt you clench down against him.
“Right there,” you whined.
“Right here?” He did it harder, more intentionally that time, and your thighs trembled, you bit your lower lip. You nodded deliriously.
“Yes,” you moaned as his thrusts grew quicker and more forceful. The only things keeping your spent body upright were his hands under your hips and your grip on his shoulders; your cries were growing louder. “Oh, God; oh, fuck.”
“Shh, princess, we’ve got my family next door,” he chastised you, but the smile in his voice was distinct. Your groan was muffled through pursed lips. “You don’t want to ruin their impression of you as such a sweet, wholesome girl, do you?”
You shook your head frantically, pressing your lips together, but— “I’m so close.”
“Yeah? You’re gonna come for me?” He pressed the heel of his hand down against your clit, and your mouth fell open in a silent whine, brow knit. “Come on. Let me have it.”
Your nails were digging into the skin of his back through his thin button-down as pressure built in your groin, but he didn’t seem to mind. Your leg around him was a vice, and your hips jerked helplessly against the hand he used to pin you against the wall; the stretch of his three fingers inside you was dizzying, and you were struggling to form words, overwhelmed by the sensation as you approached your peak.
You came with a shriek, and his lips met yours, muffling the sound as he worked you through your orgasm. He released your hip to pin you against the wall by the neck. His tongue was in your mouth; your whimpers were close to cries as he fucked you with his fingers, and his hand only slowed against you when you went limp in his grasp.
“Holy shit.” Your eyes fell shut as you leaned back against the wall, and Philip kissed down your neck as he withdrew his hand from you, instead pushing your dress up to your waist.
“Take this off,” he muttered against your skin. You didn’t respond, chest heaving as you caught your breath, but you helped him lift the dress up over your head, leaving you only in underwear as you fixed the hair it ruffled. He tossed the garment aside. While your arms returned to his shoulders, he held you back by the waist for a moment, making your eyebrows jump. His gaze roamed your figure while he took a step toward you, and your breath was caught as his hands ran down your hips, leaving goosebumps in their wake. You shivered. “You’re stunning.”
Your smile was self-conscious as he pulled you close, tilted your face up toward his with his fingers under your chin, and he kissed you softly. His hands settled atop the swell of your ass, and when he pulled you against him, his erection pressed against your lower stomach through the fabric of his pants, drawing a gasp from your lips against his. He smiled when you rolled your hips up against his, pushing him back toward his bed. You kissed him hard, undoing the buttons on his shirt, and he laughed as he stumbled backward.
“Easy there.” As he bumped into the end of the mattress, he stilled you by the waist, and his hands ran up your back to unhook your bra. He slid the straps down your arms. “I’m not going anywhere, princess.”
“I’m allowed to be impatient when I look like this and you’re still fully dressed.” You gave him a pointed look as you discarded your bra, and he grinned.
“In all fairness, you look good like this.”
“Shut up, Hamilton.” You could feel his smile against your lips when you kissed him, finished unbuttoning his shirt, and he sat back onto the foot of the bed as he shrugged his shirt off his shoulders. You climbed onto his lap without hesitation, and he pulled you close with a firm grip on your thighs as your arms hung loosely around his neck. When your lips again met his, it was slower; your hands moved to his body, his bare torso and his warm skin, and ultimately to his belt buckle.
You kissed down the side of his neck as your hands traveled south, and he squeezed your ass when you latched onto the skin below his ear, sucking a deep purple bruise into the tender space.
“Marking your territory?” he asked between heavy breaths as you pulled the tail of his belt out from its buckle. You smiled.
“Trying to make sure Henriette gets that you've moved on.” You undid the button on the top of his pants and unzipped them, dragging your fingers over his bulge as you did so, and he let out a ragged breath.
“Don't tease me.” His voice was rough as he lifted your face by the chin, and you looked up at him with wide eyes to see his weary expression. You traced your fingers over the outline of his dick in his boxers.
“Or what?” you asked softly, tilting your head as you watched his chest heave. His thumb ran across your jaw, and his gaze was fixed on your lips.
“Or I won’t invite you to the Hamilton Thanksgiving?” His tone was mild, and your scandalized gasp was weak.
“Oh, you wouldn’t dare.”
“I know, I’m really cruel, huh?”
“I don’t know how I’m gonna handle it.” The final few words were murmured against his lips as he leaned in to kiss you once more, but you pulled back a moment later as you pushed yourself off the edge of the bed to stand and lowered yourself to your knees. You tugged his pants down with you, looking up at him as you reached for the waistband of his boxers. “Can I?”
“By all means.” He sounded winded as you pulled his underwear down over his hard cock, and you leaned in to kiss his stomach, running your hands up his thighs as you settled between his legs. His breathing was heavy as you ghosted a finger up to the tip of his hard cock. His hips jerked forward the moment your lips touched the head, and you pulled back with a soft laugh.
“You’re so needy.” He didn’t seem to have much patience for your playful gaze as you took his dick in one hand.
“You’ve got a lot of nerve,” he said.
“What are you gonna do about it?”
He sucked in a breath through his teeth. “Do you want me to do something about it?”
“Wouldn’t mind it.” You took his dick fully in your mouth, then, hollowing your cheeks as you brought it to the back of your tongue, and he groaned, a hand flying to your hair. You pulled back to spit on it, pumping it in your hand. “Do you have it in you?”
You ran your tongue up the underside of his cock before taking it as deep as you could, gagging as you massaged the base. Philip’s moan was gratifying as he weaved a hand into your hair, grasping it by the roots, and you looked up at him with wide eyes when his grip went firm. He gently pushed your head down further after you bobbed back up, making you choke. Tears pricked the corners of your eyes. He held you there a moment, but when you came back up for air, you went back down on him almost immediately. He grunted as you tried to take him deeper, coming up to trace your tongue over the head of his cock. You sucked it gently, lowering your mouth on him slowly, and when you reached down to cup his balls, his hips lurched forward. You gagged when his cock hit the back of your throat.
“Shit, sorry—”
You pulled back with a cough, spit dripping down your chin as you looked up at him with wet eyes. “I don't mind.”
His eyebrows jumped. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” You guided the hand he'd begun to withdraw back to your hair. “Go ahead.”
“You want me to fuck your throat, princess?” He pulled your hair back by the roots, forcing you to look up at him. The corners of his lips quirked up. “C'mon. Say it.”
“Fuck. Yeah, I do.” You leaned into his touch, pumping his dick in your fist. “Please, Philip.”
“Alright, just be good for me then.” When you took his cock back between your lips, flattening your tongue against the underside, he pulled you down on it firmly that time, holding you in place when you started to choke. “You can take it.”
Your brow was creased as you looked up at him, and when he thrusted gently into your throat, prodding your gag reflex, you had to remind yourself to breathe through your nose. Your lips touched where your hand had been working the base of his cock when he pushed his hips forward, and he pulled you back to move your hand, interlacing your fingers with those of his free hand where it rested on his thigh. “Come on. Take it all. You're doing so good.”
His gentle tone contradicted the force that was growing behind his thrusts, making you tear up as he abused the back of your throat. His grip on your hair was tight then, and he squeezed your hand in his.
It was only a moment later that he pushed you down to the base of his cock, and he groaned at your throat convulsing around him, rejecting the intrusion. He pulled you back up for air.
“You okay?” You only nodded as you wrapped your lips around his dick once more, going as far as you could without him forcing you, and his soft grunts were encouragement enough. “Fuck, princess. You're so good.”
Your eyes fell shut, preening at the praise and trying to focus on your breathing as he rolled his hips into your mouth. You looked up at him when his thrusts grew quicker, his breathing heavier, and you squeezed his hand in yours. Your other hand came up to roll his balls between your fingers, and he moaned.
His hips stilled a moment later, his body going rigid, and when you kept bobbing your head, he had to pull you back.
“Fuck,” he breathed.
Although your chest was heaving as you tried to catch your breath, you managed a weak, “What?”
He inhaled slowly. “That's too fucking good. I don't wanna come like that, though; I wanna fuck you properly.”
Your smile was smug, but your voice was hoarse when you responded, “Aw, you're struggling not to come already?”
You gasped at his sharp tug on your hair. His gaze was entertained. “Play nice if you still want anything more from me.”
He raised his eyebrows expectantly, but you weren't fazed. “What, you don't wanna fuck me anymore? You haven't even come.”
“Maybe I will come down your throat, then. I've been trying to shut your smart mouth up for years.”
Your pout as you blinked back the tears from him fucking your throat made him smile. “Please don't tease.”
“You've already come. What makes you think you deserve to get fucked?”
“I'll be so good.” Your strained plea didn't budge his expression, and you eyed his amused look. “And you know how long you've wanted this for. Me on my knees, begging you to fuck me. Why would you keep both of us from getting what we want?”
His tongue was burrowed into his cheek as he eyed you for another moment, reaching down to wipe the tears and smeared mascara from your cheeks. “Fuck. Yeah, alright, c’mere.”
You smiled as you stood, and he pulled you up toward him with the hand on his thigh. He grabbed you by the waist, pulling you onto his lap, and you leaned in to kiss him once more, softer that time. He had a different agenda. As you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, his hand was at your neck and his tongue pushing its way into your mouth, and you moaned against him, grinding down against his dick.
“You're so gorgeous.” The heat of his breath was in your mouth. You tugged at his bottom lip with your teeth.
It was sudden when he stood, picking you up with him by the thighs, and you yelped, clinging to his shoulders. The sound made him laugh as he pulled back, his nose resting against the side of yours. “Relax, princess, I've got you.”
“You've gotta stop calling me that,” you murmured against his cheek, and he bit your lip playfully.
“Don't hold your breath.” He stepped out of the pants that hung around his ankles as he brought you around to the side of the bed, and when he laid you down beneath him, it was careful, and he kissed your neck as he laid your head back.
You tried to pull him back onto the bed with you with your hands at his shoulders, and you pushed yourself further onto the mattress with your feet. “Come here.”
Ever obliging, he followed, kneeling above you as you pulled yourself up to kiss him once more. His mouth dropped to your neck as his hands ran down to your hips, tugging at the band of your underwear.
“Can I take these off?” he whispered.
“D’you have a condom?”
“Yeah, hang on.” He kissed your shoulder before he rolled off of you to stand. He grabbed his wallet from the bedside table and withdrew the foil packed from its inner pocket, and you raised your eyebrows.
“You've just been carrying that around?”
“I've carried a condom in my wallet since I was sixteen.” He tore open the packet, withdrawing the condom and rolling it down his hard cock.
“Hope it's not expired since you haven't had a chance to use it yet.”
He looked down with an eyebrow cocked at your self-satisfied smile. “Do you want me to fuck you or not?”
You shrugged. “Still considering it.”
“You're such a pain in my ass.” His voice held no ire as he grabbed you by the ankles and yanked you toward him on the bed, and you squealed. He leaned down to take the fabric of your underwear between his fingers, pulling it down your legs, and you bent your knees for him to pull it over your feet. He took you by the thighs, then, parting them for himself and settling between them on the mattress as he pushed you back to where you'd been.
Your breathing was quick as he leaned over you, pulling one of your legs up to his hip, and you gasped when the tip of his cock ran up your soaked pussy. His other hand landed on the mattress beside your head, holding him up above you.
He furrowed his brow as he looked into your wide, nervous eyes. “You're sure you want this?”
“Please.” You ground your hips up against the shaft of his dick, and you flinched when it brushed against your clit. “Wanna feel you inside me. Come on.”
“Okay,” he said, voice breathy as he reached down to line his dick up with your entrance. Your stomach turned when you felt his tip against you, pushing firmly inside, and it didn't take long for it to start to burn.
“Wait, wait, go slow.” You scrambled for purchase in the sheets, ultimately pushing yourself up onto your elbow and holding him by the chest. “You're too big. I need a second.”
“Hey, relax.” He held your hand that laid on his chest. Your eyes were wide as you looked up at him. “It's okay. Do you want me to stop?”
“No, no, just…” You swallowed. “Be gentle at first? Please?”
“Of course.” He leaned down to kiss you on the forehead. “Just lay down. I'll take care of you.”
You did so hesitantly, and he followed you back down to the mattress, his hand on your hip and his lips on your neck. The second push of his hips against yours made you groan, his dick pushing further inside of you, and he fell into a rhythm rolling his hips down as he eased you open.
“There you go. Good girl,” he whispered at his final shallow thrust, bottoming out. You whimpered as he ground his hips gently against yours. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” Your voice was barely a breath. “You can move. I'm okay.”
“Okay princess. Lemme go slow.” One of his hands ran up the bottom of your thigh, bending it for him and spreading you wider as he pulled back. His first few thrusts hurt, stretching you slowly open, and you could only groan into his shoulder atop you, but as he fell into a rhythm, you could feel yourself begin to relax.
“Fuck, yeah, just like that,” you said softly as you arched against him, letting your head fall flat against the bed.
“Yeah?” He thrusted his hips harder against yours in a way that made your eyes widen. He ran a hand up the back of your leg, spreading you wider for him as he increased his pace. “Yeah? Like that? You like that?”
“Oh, shit,” you groaned, “I need more. I need you to fuck me harder.”
“And I need you,” —he grabbed you by the jaw, turning your head to look him in the eye— “to be quieter.”
“You're still thinking about your parents next door?” Your words were jeering. “At a time like this?”
“Well, now I'm thinking a little less considerately.” His hand dropped to your neck, and your eyebrows jumped. “You promised you'd be good for me.”
“I think I'm just the picture of decorum.”
“Uh huh.” He leaned into you as he slowed down. “It's alright. You will be.”
“Wait, please, harder,” you whined, eyes falling shut. He stilled inside you, watching you expectantly. “Philip. Please don't stop.”
“What'll you do for it?” He kissed you softly with a smile, running his thumb along your jaw.
“Fuck. Anything. Please.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Mhm.”
“Call me daddy.” Your eyes flew open, but his grin was easy as his hand left your next to rest on the mattress beside you. “Come on. We both saw how you reacted to the jokes I've made about it. I might've been a little stupid this weekend, but I'm not dumb.”
“That doesn't even make sense.”
“You know what I'm saying, though. Don't you?” He kissed your jaw. “Tell me that doesn't get you off, and I'll leave it alone.”
“Philip,” you whined. “Just want you to fuck me.”
“Gladly. Just say the word.”
“I don’t…” You clearly had every intention of defending yourself, but as he raised his eyebrows, he could feel your pussy tighten around him. “Please. I need you.”
“Please what?”
He smoothed your hair back away from your face as he watched you, and you swallowed hard. “Please, daddy.”
Your voice was hardly audible, but it made him smile as he ground his hips down against yours. “Say again? I can't even hear you; you're mumbling.”
“Come on,” you pouted. “You promised.”
“I want to hear it. Say it like you mean it.” He'd returned to thrusting shallowly in you, then, but only slowly. It was barely enough stimulation to tease.
“Fuck me harder. Please.”
“Are you really gonna make me ask you again?” Philip lifted your head with a hand beneath your chin to look at him. His pupils were blown wide. Between the way he felt, stretching you wide, and the way your skin rippled under his fingers on his neck, soft but firm, there's little he could've asked for that you wouldn't have done.
“Please, daddy,” you finally said. “I want you to fuck me. Properly. Like you mean it.”
“Oh yeah?” He sped up the roll of his hips against yours, his grin widening as he dropped his head to rest against your skin. “How properly? Hm? You want me to ruin you?”
“Yes, fuck, please,” you moaned, and he moved the hand on your neck to rest against the mattress, holding him up above you. “Please, please, please.”
He didn't respond, only pushing your thigh in his hand further against your chest as he lifted himself onto his knees. As he leaned over you, his grip on your leg lifted your hips into the air, driving your upper back into the mattress as he thrust harder into you.
“Shit, you're so tight,” he huffed, “that feels damn good.”
His words made you groan, and he pulled back fully onto his knees, holding you against him by the hips for leverage. Your grip twisted into his bedsheets as his back hovered out of reach, and you rolled your hips against him, meeting his thrusts as you arched your back.
“I don't know how long I'm gonna last.” His words were breathy. “You feel too good. Want you to cum for me first, though. What do you need for that, princess?”
“Touch me, daddy,” you pleaded, and he groaned, driving into you harder. His grip tightened in one hand, but the other released your hip to find your clit, circling it softly.
“Here?” he asked. “This good for you?”
“Yeah,” you moaned. “So good.”
Your hips jerked and your legs trembled at the dual stimulation, and it wasn't long before you found yourself close to orgasm, worked up from how overwhelmed you were. When you clenched down on him, he could feel it.
“Shit, you close?” he asked, and you nodded.
“Don't stop.”
“Never.” His thrusts into you slowed down only slightly so he could fuck you harder, your entire body jostled by the force, and your legs tensed as you finally reached your peak. You came with a gasp, and he didn't stop fingerings you, working your clit through the orgasm.
It was only when you found yourself too sensitive, jerking away from his touch, that he slowed down.
“You okay?” he murmured, thrusting gently into you. You nodded. “Can you keep going?”
“Please. I want you to cum. Want you to feel good.”
“Shit, okay.” His hand that was fingering you had been on your lower stomach, but it moved to your other thigh so he was holding you by the legs, pressing them into your chest. When he picked back up his pace, his grip tightened, and your mouth fell open in a silent whine. “Fuck. Yeah. You're so tight. You like that?”
“Mhm.” Your response came out a whimper as you sank your grip into the bedsheets, and you barely registered your fingernails digging into your palms.
He groaned. “Oh, God, I'm gonna cum.”
“Cum in me,” you pleaded, rolling your hips pathetically up against his. His thrusts were growing sloppy and frantic. “Cum for me.”
“Shit.” He came with a gasp, and although his grip tensed on your thighs for a moment, you barely had time to wince before he was releasing them, dropping them gently to the mattress before leaning over you to kiss you. “You okay?” he whispered against your lips.
“Yeah.” Your voice was weak, and he pulled back enough to look you in the eye, smoothing your hair away from your face.
“Yeah?”
You nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck. You pulled him down to kiss you again. “Yeah.”
“Okay.” He dipped down to kiss your jaw as he slowly pulled out, and your arms were limp on his shoulders as you caught your breath. “That was… I… well, fuck.” His voice was ragged as he rested his forehead on your shoulder, both your bodies damp with sweat. You had his hair between your fingers, fingertips tracing his scalp, and you couldn’t help but huff out a laugh at his declaration.
“Exactly what I was thinking,” you murmured, and he chuckled as he lifted his head to kiss you on the mouth, leaning on his arm beside your head. He brushed a hair out of your face, hand coming down to hold you by the nape of your neck as his thumb ghosted over the bottom of your cheek. When he pulled back, he eyed your features thoughtlessly, gaze never leaving your face, and you squirmed under his scrutiny despite his soft smile.
“You’re staring.”
“Let me keep this moment for a few more seconds.”
You scoffed. “My hair is in knots and there’s mascara running halfway down my face. I’m not exactly a vision right now.”
He creased his brow when he looked you in the eye. “You have no idea how stunning you are, do you?”
You smiled timidly. “I won't turn down the reminder."
He grinned as he dipped down to kiss you softly once more. "I'm happy to let you know, princess." He rolled off of you and sat up to take off his condom, tying it off before discarding it in the trash. Your eyes ran over his toned back as he did so, watching the low light dip and swim in the clefts between his muscles, and he glanced back over his shoulder at you as you pulled yourself up to sit at his headboard. He raised an eyebrow when he saw you watching him. "What?"
"This still feels surreal," you said quietly, and he didn't respond as he came to sit beside you, waiting for you to go on. "Three days ago, we barely spoke. This isn't how I expected this weekend to end."
"That makes two of us." He glanced down at you, eyeing your pensive expression. "Even my most optimistic imagination was that we would come back friends."
"This never crossed your mind?"
"Well, I wouldn't say that, exactly." His playful grin made you roll your eyes. "What, like you never thought about it?"
"Only in moments of weakness," you defended, and he quirked a brow.
"'Moments of weakness'?" he repeated. "What does that mean? Late nights at the office when we're the only ones around? When I take off my jackets and you see a little too much skin?"
"When Susan's getting a little too handsy," you corrected him, and he grinned. "I wish she wouldn't do it in the middle of shared spaces, though, because God does that woman know how to paint a picture."
"Now I might actually have a good reason to cut her off," he said. "I wouldn't wanna make anybody jealous. That sounds like a bad way to facilitate a healthy workplace dynamic."
"What d'you mean, might?" you asked incredulously. "You're gonna go back to flirting with our boss after all this?"
"Depends," he said, and you self-consciously pulled your knees into your chest where you sat. "What are we doing when we get back?"
"I don't know." Your voice was small. "What do you want?"
"Well—" He took your hand in his from where it rested atop your knee, watching your fingers as you laced them into his. "—first and foremost, I want you to stop stealing my parking spot."
"It's not your parking spot."
"But then I want you to let me take you out." Your eyebrows jumped as he squeezed your hand. "Properly. Somewhere we're not putting on a show for my family or worrying about work."
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He leaned gently into you, bumping your shoulders with his. “Let's finally go on that first date I've been lying to my family about for so long.”
Your smile was soft. “And where would you take me?”
“Well, I could always use a date to my company Christmas party,” he said, and you couldn't help your laugh. “I have this hot coworker that I share a space with who I've been trying to make jealous for years.”
“Maybe if you just tried being nice to her you'd have better results.”
“Would you believe that never occurred to me?”
You glanced over at him, and he was watching you with shining eyes. “God, you're so dumb,” you finally said, and his laugh was surprised, “I can't believe it took us this long to just talk. All this goddamn time.”
“I didn't think we ever would.”
“I didn't think we had much to say. I guess I'm glad I was wrong.”
“You guess?” he repeated, and your eyes widened as you jumped to defend yourself before you saw his grin. “You really know how to make a man feel special, princess.”
“I try my best.”
He took you by the chin when he leaned in to kiss you, but this time it was clumsier than it was passionate, one smile pressed against another.
“So are we done pretending you're not a cuddler?” he whispered, and with a groan, you shoved him hard enough that he fell onto his back beside you, pulling you down with him.
————
“There's the happy couple.” Philip's family had let you sleep in late, and you didn't want to question whether it was because they'd heard you up as late as you were the night before. It was Eliza who welcomed you down to the brunch she'd made, beaming at your sleepy smiles and mussed hair. “I know you have to get on the road today, but will you linger just a bit at breakfast? It's been so long since you've been home.”
“Of course, Mom. It's good to be back.” He kissed Eliza on the head, releasing your hand as he followed her to the kitchen counter to take a plate. “We're not in any rush, are we, princess?”
“To be stuck in a car with you all evening? I'd be happy to wait.” The usual bite behind your words didn't land how it tended to, as your snark was half-hearted. He took one look at your soft smile and couldn't even tease.
“I'm sure.”
You followed suit in taking a plate from the counter, helping yourself to some eggs and fruit. When you and Philip sat, the table was uncharacteristically quiet, and you filled your glass with orange juice, taking a sip as you glanced around.
"So you two sure got a lot of sleep, huh?" Angelica was the first to speak after you sat, and when you turned to her, her smile was knowing. You pursed your lips, a grin threatening to break through when you met her eyes.
"Yeah, it's been a tiring weekend. We needed it."
"You really haven't had much time to yourselves, have you?" Alex asked. You raised an eyebrow. His voice was sincere. "I guess that's what they say about engagements. Once you're getting married, it's about everyone else as much as it is about you."
"I think we'll manage," Philip responded, resting a hand on your knee under the table. When you turned to him, he winked. "I don't think we're in any race to the finish line. Can't speak for you, princess, but I wouldn't mind taking a little time to enjoy where we're at."
"I don't disagree," you said softly before turning back to Alex. "Anyway, we've got work in the morning. We might be a little busy to wedding plan for the time being."
"But you'll get there, right?" Concern tinged Eliza's voice, and you and Philip shared a look.
"Everything in due time, right?"
"Of course," Philip said, squeezing your knee under the table. You took another sip of your orange juice to hide your smile.
“So Y/N?” It was William's small voice that piped up, making you raise your eyebrows. “When are you having a baby?” he said, and you choked on your drink. Philip patted your back as you set the glass down, coughing.
“What?”
“You said you weren't gonna have a baby until you got married. But now you're getting married, so when are you gonna have a baby?”
You took a deep breath as you looked at Philip with wide eyes. He barely seemed to register it, glancing back at you with an exasperated smile.
“We just sat down for breakfast, Will. Give Y/N some time.”
“Well I don't mean you should have a baby right now. Finish your eggs first.”
Your laugh was stunned, but it occurred to you that you should've anticipated this. Philip seemed to have.
“I think you might need to give us a good few years to finish our eggs first then, buddy. We're in no rush.”
“But I wanna be an uncle,” William argued, and Alex finally chimed in.
“Finish the first grade before you start worrying about being an uncle.” The chuckle this garnered was collective, but he did turn his eyes to you. “Congratulations, though. You two must be excited.”
“We are,” you answered before Philip could say anything, and you squeezed his hand where it sat on the table. He met your eyes, and when he turned his hand over to lace his fingers into yours, your skin tingled. “I think it's safe to say we've still got an adventure ahead of us.”
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wheels-of-despair · 4 months ago
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A Quiet Place: Day One's bonus content "varies by retailer", so here's what I can confirm without buying anything:
Apple has a few featurettes, which you can watch for free.
Update: Bonus content becomes available after purchase.
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Amazon/Prime Video also shows a few free featurettes.
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Update: It's just these three.
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Fandango at Home / Vudu has bonus features with purchase.
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YouTube and Google Movies do not mention any bonus content at all. Update: Because there isn't any.
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Microsoft has bonus content with purchase.
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50 minutes of Bonus Content will be on the physical releases (4K and Blu-Ray; not DVD) coming on October 8.
Day Zero: Beginnings and Endings—Hear from John Krasinski, cast, and crew as director Michael Sarnoski takes the reins for this character-driven prequel. (7 minutes)
In the City: Chaos in Chinatown—See how the production crew recreated Manhattan from scratch in order to destroy it. Plus, hear from some new and familiar faces from the franchise. (7 minutes)
The Exodus: Against the Tide—Go behind-the-scenes of the exodus sequence that employed over a hundred extras and a clever mix of practical and visual effects. (6 minutes)
The Long Walk: Monsters in Midtown—Meet Frodo the cat and the animal trainers behind the fantastic feline performance. Plus, filmmakers detail Sam, Eric, and Frodo's long walk through the city. (7 minutes)
Pizza at the End of the World—Hear from cast and crew about why a quest for pizza when the world is under attack poignantly speaks to our humanity. (7 minutes)
Deleted and Extended Scenes -The Back of the Bus—Sam returns to the bus disappointed after the show, but notices something peculiar happening in the back. (extended, 2 minutes) -Take Off Your Shoes—Sam notices a stranger following her and tells him to remove his shoes in order to make less noise. (extended, 1 minute) -Finding the Farm—Eric is returning with Sam's meds, but takes a detour to the creature feeding grounds to find Frodo. (extended, 2 minutes) -New Shoes—Sam and Eric try on new shoes. (deleted, 1 minute) -Poetry at Patsy's—Sam and Eric have a heart-to-heart out in front of Patsy's Pizzeria. (deleted, 8 minutes)
If you purchase any of the digital versions and bonus content becomes available to you, please share with the class!
73 notes · View notes
cyberpunk-r-j · 2 months ago
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“Not for nothing do we have to learn the speeches ‘by heart’. They should occupy your whole being, body and breath.”
-- Patsy Rodenburg, Speaking Shakespeare
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random-twst-things · 2 years ago
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Twst housewarderns as romantic quotes I found
Characters include: Riddle, Leona, Azul, Kalim, Vil, Idia, and our beautiful malleus
Tw: Tooth rotting fluff (?)
Authors note: These love poems and quotes can vary from TV shows, movies, or just poems written by poem writers.
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Ngl, I was blushing while finding one for him, 🧍🏽‍♀️
I feel like he really tries to be romantic for you
And he just wants you to know that he really does love you
"You are my heart, my life, my one and only thought."
-Arthur Conan Doyle, The White Company
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He can be a real romantic if he really wants to be
"I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once."
-John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
But, if he isn't trying to be REAL cheesy (his words not mine), I think he may say this instead?
"I love you. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible. But I want to spend every irritating minute with you."
-Unknown
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*inhales* This man right here is gonna show you how much he loves you (which is A LOT)
“and if the devil was to ever see you, he’d kiss your eyes and repent.”
-Farouq Jwaydeh
I feel like he could relate to this poem because deep down, he knows he isn't the best man or person
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This guy is so sweet omg
He just IDK!?
This is definitely his family he's referring to when he says "They" saw YOU
"I hadn't told them about you,
But they saw you bathing in my eyes.
I hadn't told them about you,
But they saw you in my written words.
The perfume of love cannot be concealed."
- Nizar Qabbani
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This beautiful man will tell you a beautiful poem
I have two types of poems, which I think he would say to you
"I'll be loving you, always woth a love that that's true"
- Patsy Cline, Always
Or maybe
"I wasn't expecting you. I didn't think that we would end up together. The single most extraordinary thing I've ever done with my life is fall in love with you. I've never been seen so completely, loved so passionately, and protected so fiercely. "
- Beth Pearson
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Yeah, he isn't gonna say this poem in person
He'll probably send it through text or smth
Still love him tho
"I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you"
- Baby, Dirty Dancing
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*sighs dreamily* Malleus
I just KAHSKAJAJAJS
they asked, "Do you love her to death?"
I said, "speak of her over my grave and watch how she brings me back to life"
- Mahmoud Darwish
This poem is him and he is this poem
You can't convince otherwise
911 notes · View notes
bisexualiteaa · 7 months ago
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Ghoulish Kinda Love
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John Hancock x Ghoul!Fem Reader (SMUT!! and some fluff!)
CW: NSFW MDNI!! ghoul reader, chem usage, alcohol use, talks of discrimination, p in v, p0rn w/ some plot, slow burn, FEELINGS! Fingering, oral, (fem receiving) short handjob, unprotected sex, ghoul sex, riding, irradiated cream pie, cursing, fluffy ending, potential spelling/grammar errors, slight deviance from game
AN: I’m back partying people! Thank you to those who have put requests in regarding our charismatic ghoul companion Hancock! Been itching to write something for him and give him a little more love because there isn’t a lot out there for my boy Hancock, and he deserves all the love. ❤️ We won’t talk about the way I’d go to write this and each time I would, a sign telling me I need to “repent for my sins” would come up along the road lmao. 😭 Anyway, enjoy some fluffy smutty action with our man Hancock! Please go easy, I’m still relatively new to all things Fallout so if I goof up some stuff from the game, I do apologize, I’m still learning! But otherwise I do hope y’all enjoy! 🥰
Also I don’t own the rights to any music here, but there are a few songs if you’d like to enjoy them along with the moment for a more immersive experience!
You didn’t remember much from your life before the bombs dropped on that horrifically fateful day. You vaguely remember the taste of pie when you would bake it, or Mac ‘n cheese back when it was made with clean water and fresh hot off the burner. You even more vaguely remember the days of dressing really nice, now it was all you could to find something that was concealing enough to hide who you had become wandering along the commonwealth aimlessly. There was once purpose in your journey, once meaning behind it but not anymore, at least not one you could remember. Two hundred years is a long time to live, a lot of memories to hold, and when you’re spending a lot of that time trying to keep from turning feral it’s even harder to remember the trivial things like life without radiation exposure. It pained your heart to think about, to look at yourself in a mirror or your reflection in a passing puddle of radiated water. One thing you do remember is looking beautiful once upon a time, your once E/C eyes having turned a hazy black, your H/L, H/C having long since fallen out. Hell, the most noticeable part was that your nose was completely missing now, your leathery marred skin a sickly grey making you look like a walking corpse. You hated looking upon yourself now that you were a ghoul, you had been for a little over a century now, but it still always caught you by surprise.
t was one day upon your blind stumbling that you had entered a town called Goodneighbor, your bandana covering your face and large hat on to keep the fact that you were a ghoul slightly harder to point out lest it be anything like Diamond City was. You found out the hard way that day that a lot of places don’t take kindly to ghouls, and whether you were feral or not they tended not to want to chance it. You were just going to stroll through, minding your own business when a man stopped you on your way in. “Hey, hold up there. First time in Goodneighbor? Can’t go walkin’ around without insurance” spoke the gruff voice of a man who had just lit a cigarette in front of you, speaking with it sticking from the corner of his mouth before removing it and blowing the smoke in your direction. Asshole. “Unless it’s keep-dumb-assholes-away-from-me insurance, I’m not interested” you stated, and he didn’t quite like the tone you were catching. “Now don’t be like that, I think you’re gonna like what I have on offer” he replied, making you roll your eyes at his persistence. Here we go. “You hand over everything you got in them pockets or “accidents” start happening to ya. Big, bloody, accidents” he threatened, and you didn’t take too kindly to it but by now, you were used to the casual threat being thrown your way, especially as a ghoul. You heard a gravely voice from off in the distance, almost as if he had just appeared from the alleyway between the buildings in behind the man haggling you. “Woah woah, now time out” the man spoke, wearing a black tri-corn hat and a stark red jacket with a white dress shirt underneath. What really caught you by surprise? He was a ghoul. “someone steps through the gate the first time, they’re a guest. You lay off the extortion crap” he finished, walking towards the man haggling you and the man almost seemed to meet him halfway as if he knew him. All you could do was stand there in awe. Holy shit, he was defending you, no one ever did that. “What’d you care? She ain’t one of us” the man spoke, his cigarette smoke still lingering in your nostrils from when he’d blown it in your face. “No love for your mayor, Finn? I said let her go” the ghoul said, standing his ground. Wait…did he say mayor? He was the mayor of this town? As a ghoul?? You were so flabbergasted to imagine such a thing, your kind were so hated, you could never have thought of a town being accepting enough to be run by a ghoul. Although you could tell by the body language this man in particular didn’t really care for the mayor, they looked as if they were getting ready to have a stand off. “You’re soft Hancock. You keep letting outsiders walk all over us, one day there’ll be a new mayor” the man, Finn countered. “Come on man, this is me we’re talkin about. Let me tell ya somethin’…” the ghoul, Hancock said, walking closer to Finn, looking as if he was stretching his hand out to place it on Finn’s shoulder but instead, reached for a knife, stabbing your haggler repeatedly in the stomach until he dropped to the ground at his feet. You were in shock, you’d seen people killed before, heck you’ve killed people yourself before because it was a kill or be killed kinda world out here, but never in the time you spent as a ghoul had anyone ever killed for you.
“Now why’d you have to go and say that, huh? Breakin’ my heart here” Hancock said to the man before looking to you. “You alright, sister?” He asked. “Your face…it’s like mine” was unfortunately all you could say, bringing your bandana down to show him. “Ya like it? I think it gives me a sexy, king of the zombies kinda look. Big hit with the ladies” he said flirtatiously, his voice dipping a little lower, bringing out the gravely rasp to his tone and if you could blush still, you would have. You gave a smile and a giggle, enjoying his take on ghoulification. “I’m a ghoul, something I see we share. Lot of walkin’ rad freaks like us around here” he said, and you felt guilty for pointing it out and not thanking him first, but his next words put a warmth in your heart to hear. “Goodneighbor’s of the people, for the people, you feel me? Everyone’s welcome” he said, and that made you smile because never had you been some place where you felt so welcome for being who you were. “Of the people, for the people? Oh brother…” you joked sarcastically, making him laugh. “I can tell I’m gonna like you already. Just consider this town your home away from home…so long as you remember who’s in charge” he said before starting to walk off, but you were so curious, had so many questions needing answers to, so you bothered and stopped him.
“What can I do for ya, newcomer?” He asked happily, making you almost clam up when you went to speak but you cleared your throat, working through your anxiety. “What’s your story, Hancock?” You asked kindly yet curiously. “My favorite subject. I came into this town about…a decade ago? Had a smooth set of skin back then. While I was busy making myself a pillar of the community, I would go on these…like…wild tears. I was young; any chems I could find, the more exotic the better. Finally found this experimental radiation drug, only one of its kind left, and only one hit” he said, and his story had you intrigued. “Oh man, the high was so worth it. Yeah I’m livin’ with the side effects but hey, what’s not to love about immortality?” He asked, making you chuckle. “Got its perks, its downsides too but hey, glad to finally see someone enjoyin’ it” you said, making him chuckle. “All that chem use definitely prepared you for a career in politics…” you quipped wittily, making him chuckle. “People respect me because I don’t put myself above them. I sling and shoot up just like the next guy” he said, and you respected that. “Hey, no judgement! I respect that” you replied. “Can you tell me more about this town of yours, Goodneighbor?” You asked. “It’s all about the people, understand? They’re freaks, misfits, and troublemakers and that’s why I love ‘em. Everyone here lives their own life, their own way. No judgements” he said proudly, making you smile happily to find yourself welcomed to such a wonderful place. It wasn’t anything crazy big or crazy busy, it was quaint and sweet, felt like home and that was a hard feeling to come by these days. This was the first time you’d ever been anywhere so accepting, so care free of looks or who you were or what you did. It felt good. Maybe this was what you’d been searching for all this time.
“I have a feeling you’ll fit in well here” he said with a warm and inviting smile to match his tone, making you smile hopefully, and it made him happy to see such a look on your face, to know he had helped someone who seemed to really need it. “Thank you, it’s so nice to finally be welcomed somewhere rather than forced out” you said, and he felt that pain, knew that a lot of other people who stayed in his town felt the same way. It warmed his heart to know that he could be a helping hand. You seemed really sweet, he hoped you’d settle in and stay a while, newcomers were always interesting around here but you piqued his interest just a little bit more than most others did.
So as you settled in over time, he got to know you a little bit more. You would often venture down to the bar, and you’d found Hancock there quite often, there you exchanged life stories, dreams, aspirations, regrets. It was nice, finally having human interaction for once with someone, someone who understood and someone who wouldn’t cringe or push you away when you spoke. Some nights, he’d put something on from the jukebox and ask you to dance with him, not caring about how bad either of you were in your drunken/high states. Did I mention you were chem buddies? Oh yeah. When night time came, or you’d find some chems while out scavenging the commonwealth for more supplies to help yourself, Hancock and the town, he was inviting you to his room on the state house to do them with him. For that time, you could just forget the world in its entirety, forget being a ghoul, forget it all. You would smile and laugh amongst each other as you told wild stories, flirted with one another, it was always a good time with him. You never had to worry, and you loved that. He was a safe place to just be yourself and he did the same, with absolutely no shame or judgement in sight.
There was one night in particular that you’d remember for the rest of your days, no matter how long you lived until. You were at the bar, talking and enjoying a few drinks with Hancock as you both typically spent your evenings, before you watched him saunter his way over to the jukebox, picking a song to play to dance with you to. As much as Fehr claimed she wanted no part in, or held any care in your growing relationship with the mayor, she couldn’t help but feel a little warmth and happiness deep down that Hancock had finally managed to find someone that made him happy. It was good to see him happy and well, to be carefree in the positive kind of way rather than just getting high in his room all the time. Of course he was still getting high, but it was with you, someone who kept him company, someone who he could confide in. You smirked as you recognized the song that was playing as he leaned against the jukebox, his eyes raking your figure as Oh, Pretty Woman began to play, urging you over to him to dance with him. How could you say no to a man with such charisma?
Pretty woman walkin’ down the street
Pretty woman, the kind I’d like to meet
Pretty woman, I don’t believe you, you’re not the truth
No one could look as good as you
Mercy
He’d softly sang along with the song, his arm sliding around your waist to your back, swiftly and effectively pulling you against him, your hands resting against the ruffles along his white under shirt. You smiled up at him, knowing this was once again one of those times that if you could blush, you would. You’d never felt this way before, never felt so cared for, so wanted since you’d become a ghoul.
Pretty woman, won’t you pardon me?
Pretty woman, I couldn’t help but see
Pretty woman, that you look lovely as can be
Are you lonely just like me?
He continued to sing, just loud enough for you to hear, grabbing your hand and spinning you in front of him suavely before dipping you, unphased by anyone who could be looking on. You smiled as people clapped and stomped their feet to the beat as a way to hype you both up. You couldn’t help the fury of giggles leaving you as he did so, absolutely stunned by such a display.
Grrrow
He imitated right by your ear with a grin, making a shiver run down your spine at the way his raspy voice dropped in octave a little bit as he did. You gave an intrigued sound in response before a laugh bubbled up from your throat as you pulled his signature black, tri-corn hat off from his head in the process of standing back up, placing it on your own with a mischievous grin up at him that he mirrored back. He was good and he knew it, but you couldn’t just let him have this that easily, as much as you were down bad for him, you wanted to see him chase you a little bit. Needed to see if he was all talk or if his words and actions held meaning to them like you hoped they would.
Pretty woman, stop awhile
Pretty woman, talk awhile
Pretty woman, give your smile to me
Pretty woman, yeah, yeah, yeah
Pretty woman, look my way
Pretty woman, say you’ll stay with me
‘Cause I need you, I’ll treat you right
Come with me, baby, be mine tonight
He sang as you danced once more, grabbing your hands and twirling you to where your back pressed to his front for a moment before twirling you back, his fingers beneath your chin as you looked up at him at the end of the verse with a teasing grin. You sauntered away to the doorway towards the rooms before stopping there, turning to look over your shoulder at him as an invitation but stayed as you watched him sing.
Pretty woman, don’t walk on by
Pretty woman, don’t make me cry
Pretty woman, don’t walk away, hey
Okay
If that’s the way it must be, okay
I guess I’ll go on home, it’s late
There’ll be tomorrow night, but wait
What do I see?
Is she walkin’ back to me?
He sang as he watched your hand as it slid down from the doorway you propped up against before making your way back to him, getting just as excited to see you come back as the man singing the song claimed to be. He smirked, watching the sway of your hips as you walked towards him, giving a whistle as you did, his eyes roaming your body.
Yeah, she’s walkin’ back to me
Oh, oh, pretty woman
He finished, watching you loop your arms around his neck as his hands came to rest against your hips and god he’d never been more scared than fucking up this moment with you. Does he just hold you? Does he kiss you? Fuck, do you even feel that way about him? He figured with the way you two flirted, with the way you gave him bedroom eyes just a minute ago that you did, but he didn’t want to be an asshole and just assume either. Maybe he’d let you make the first move, place it in your hands to do with what you wish. That look in your eyes made him never want to look away, you looked at him like he hung the stars in the sky. God how he adored you, he wanted you so badly, and not even in just the sexual way that he normally felt for women who piqued his interest now and again. You were really and truly different in his eyes. As people clapped and cheered on for you both, the tension in the air was broken momentarily, making you laugh happily as you looked out at everyone then back up at him. You smiled up at him, your heart racing as he looked at you with a smile that told him this was the moment. So he took the leap of faith, pulling his hat from your head and leaning down to kiss you, his hat concealing your lips that locked together softly. The on lookers gave a whistle and a cheer as they knew exactly what was happening, and you placed your hands on either sides of his face, pulling him to you to keep him there for just a little bit longer. He grinned into your kiss, his free hand coming to rest on your hip as all worries flew out the window the moment you enthusiastically pulled him in. There couldn’t have been a happier man to exist in that moment other than him, watching as he looked down at you with the most star struck look on his face. “What do you say you and me sneak off for the night, Mr. Mayor?” You asked, placing his hat back on his head and adjusting it for him with a smile. He gave a raspy chuckle at you using his title and what you were insinuating from your question. He’d be lying if he said it didn’t send an excited twitch straight to his cock. “I’d say I like the way you think, sunshine” he replied, making you smile and giggle at his enthusiasm. “Good answer” you replied. Guess it was a good thing you’d paid for your drinks already after all.
You followed him upstairs, to his room in the state house, closing the door behind you both as you walked in after him. You could still hear the jukebox playing music loudly, you smiled as you heard the next song playing from it. Coincidentally enough, it was perfect for a slow dance. His hand boldly came to rest on your waist as his free hand grabbed yours, your fingers intertwined together. “I know it might be cheesy but…now that we’re away from all the pryin’ eyes, I wanna do this right” he said, making you smile softly at him, doing your best to hide the giddy excitement bubbling inside of you that you hadn’t felt in centuries. “Would you…dance with me?” He asked, making you smile brightly as your arms looped around his neck and you looked up at him with a dreamy smile. “I’d be delighted to” you replied, making him smile back down at you. You hummed along with the opening of the song, knowing the melody that was being played.
Crazy, I’m crazy for feelin’ so lonely
I’m crazy, crazy for feelin’ so blue.
I knew, you’d love me as long as you wanted
And then someday, you’d leave me for somebody new.
You sang as you rest your head against his chest as you both swayed to the rhythm of the song. You closed your eyes for a moment, enjoying the warmth of him against you and the feel of his embrace. He gave a contented hum, getting to hear your lovely voice so close, and only for him in this moment. In this moment you weren’t the newcomer that everyone felt the need to gawk at every time you entered a room with him, as selfish as it made him feel but at the same time, in this moment he wasn’t the people’s either. He was yours, and you were his. For a moment the world felt at peace. For a moment, all time seemed to stop around you and it was just the two of you here. It was calming, intimate even. Intimate in a way that for the first time, wasn’t sexual for a change. The closest he’d really ever gotten to intimacy without sex was aftercare, and even then, it came after sex so therefore it was still involved. But this? This was nice. Having you in his embrace, your head against his chest, not a wrinkle of worry evident on your face, and his only worry being if his heart was racing too harshly or too loud for you to be able to withstand.
Worry, why do I let myself worry?
Wonderin’ what in the world did I do?
Crazy, for thinkin’ that my love could hold you.
I’m crazy for tryin’, and crazy for cryin’
And I’m crazy for lovin’ you.
You supposed the song wasn’t wrong in a way, most people would call you crazy for falling in love with a ghoul, or trying to fall in love period as a ghoul. Most people knew them by the characteristic lack of smooth skin, sunken in and marred skin, missing noses and the potential that they turn feral at any moment. You would never listen to that though, as a ghoul you knew you came with ups and downs, but you never let that stop you from seeing the best in others just as you’d hope they would some day do for you in return. After all, you and John both have had your fair share of run ins with feral ghouls in your time traveling together, you both knew what to look out for. John wasn’t one of them, and he knew neither were you. It never mattered to you what someone looked like, you only cared whether they would care for you in return the same way you care for them. How big their heart is, how they treat you and others around them. John was a good man, you knew this from the first moment you met him. Sure, the first moment you’d met him he killed someone, but he killed someone who was trying to harm and haggle you the moment you first step foot into what you’d learned to be his town. He did it to protect you. He looks out for his people, wanting, and doing only what is best for them, helping them any way he can. Of the people, for the people he’d always say. It was that drive, that selflessness that attracted you to him, but also that he didn’t discriminate like the rest of the world seemed to. You couldn’t care less about how his skin was marred from the years of radiation exposure, how a deep hole sits where his nose once did. You saw John for the man he is, the heart he has, not just as the ghoul everyone else does. That’s what made you so likable in his eyes, you never judged. You never held a distaste for the fact that you were a ghoul, that he was one, or that you were surrounded by your fellow people of Goodneighbor who were also mostly ghouls. You had a good outlook on things but weren’t too gullible to be taken advantage of, something that not many people had these days. He also appreciated the way you never judged his habits. Never once in the amount of times that he would take a hit of jet, or pop a couple of mentats, hell even on the rare occasional use of psycho, did you ever once judge him. You didn’t have to partake with him, he’d never force you to, but the fact that you didn’t cringe when he would, the fact that you would never chew him out for it as if he didn’t know the consequences of his own actions. You respected him, respected his way of living, just as he respected you and yours.
He looked down at you, seeing your eyes light up as they met his with a smile spread across your lovely, maybe slightly chapped, lips. He smiled down at you, his hand leaving yours to cradle your cheek as he looked upon you with astonishment. How could someone like you, so loving, so caring, choose him? In a world full of people, granted he knew from experience that the pickings amongst those of the surface were less than stellar, yet you still chose him. A ghoul, when there are people out there that are still far more human looking. Hell, he was sure you could make a synth even grow a heart if you wanted it to and looked upon one the way you looked at him. Sure he would tease you for liking him, for befriending him, but it warmed his heart to know that out of anyone out there, you chose him as your battle partner, him to adventure with. He only hoped deep down that that friendship could be more.
And almost as if someone out there was listening to his thoughts, had heard his silent prayers, he watched as your eyes flickered between his hazy black ones and then to his thin, marred lips, with a look he recognized well. This was the moment that would lead to it all, the moment he’d been waiting for, dreaming about since starting to travel with you and partake in your company. It was truly all or nothing now.
Crazy, for thinkin’ that my love could hold you.
I’m crazy for tryin’, and crazy for cryin’
And I’m crazy for lovin’…
You.
He smiled a little wider when your hand came to cradle his cheek like he was doing with you as you were singing, pulling him even closer to you, if it was possible. Before he knew it, as you sang the last word of the song, your lips found their way to his once more, pressing gently against his own but with confidence and passion that showed him you wanted this. That you wanted him. His hand that was on your cheek soon came to rest against the back of the one you had on his, keeping you as close as he could get but also ensuring that this was real. He needed to know that this wasn’t a dream or some jet fueled fantasy he was in. And to his surprise and delight, it was in fact real. He reciprocated the kiss, finally breaking out of his momentary shock to pull you against him, your chests flush together as his other hand gripped your hip. You smiled into it as his tongue prodded at your lower lip, asking kindly to deepen the kiss into something more passionate. You opened, allowing it and allowing the moment to carry you both to wherever it may lead. Your free hand came to rest against his chest, fingers toying with the ruffles of his undershirt beneath the red jacket he always wore, earning a low, gravely groan from him that rattled his chest. As you both parted for air, he looked down to see that beautiful half lidded expression as he pressed his forehead against yours. “Tell me I’m not dreamin’” he said, breathlessly, almost as if he couldn’t believe that this was actually happening. His response made you chuckle. “I’d be really pissed if I was, that or damn impressed by what the chems you have can do” you quipped, making him laugh. “Me too. You feel real…real nice too” he complimented, his head ducking down to place small chaste kisses against your neck, always the charmer. You giggled. “Then I’d say it’s real” you replied, and those were the words he wanted to hear. He chuckled softly as he exhaled, relieved to know it was real.
He smiled but you could tell there was something eating at him, something he hadn’t said yet. You’d known Hancock long enough in the time you’d spent getting high with him and traveling the commonwealth with him to know his cues. Part of him hated the way that you could tell something was off, after all, he always wanted to keep this aloof front, like nothing ever bugged him but you knew that wasn’t true. Something was bugging him now. “There’s uhh…there’s something I need you to hear” he started, making you part enough to give him space, but not too far to make him feel like you weren’t there for him or put off by what he’d said. “Is everything alright?” You asked, concern in your tone that maybe you might have overstepped a boundary or assumed something incorrectly. “Oh yeah, better than that. This is just…tricky” he replied before giving a sigh, as if trying to get the tension to release from him with one breath. “It’s just, being out there with you, it’s made me realize. Most of my life to this point, I’ve been runnin’ out on the good things I got” he answered, but you could tell he wasn’t done yet, he had more to get off of his chest. “I skipped out on my family, my life in Diamond City. Took up with you just to get outta Goodneighbor. Hell, runnin’ from myself is what made me into…into a damn ghoul” he added, sounding upset at himself, and you wanted so badly in that moment to reach out and take his hand, do something to comfort him, but you wanted him to finish as to not overstep or rudely cut him off. “But bein’ here with you, for the first time in my life, things have just felt…right” he added, making you smile softly at that. You were happy you could be help and a good friend to him, even if you deep down wanted more than that. “And running? It’s the furthest thing from my mind. I mean, I left Goodneighbor thinkin’ I was just gonna sharpen up the ol’ killer instinct. But whether it’s fate, or destiny, or just god damn coincidence, I ended up with someone like you” he continued, making you smile once again, even brighter this time at him as you imagined a soft pink would have flushed to your cheeks had you had a smoother set of skin. “I turned one of the nastiest settlements in the commonwealth into a refuge for the lost. I thought I’d done something I could hang my hat on. But being out there with you, it’s made me realize just how small time I’d been thinkin’. And that maybe all my running, from my life, myself…maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing after all” he confessed, making you look slightly confused as to what he’d said.
“Running from yourself? What do you mean?” You asked, making him chuckle a bit as he thought of what to say to both be honest but also lighten the slightly damper mood up a little bit. He needed to see that smile back on your lips, when you smiled at him, it was like the world was no longer in shambles. He needed that, right now and until the end of his days because he swore no high from any chem out there compared to the one you’d give him. “Well, I didn’t always look this good. The drug that did this to me, that made me a ghoul, I knew what it was going to do. I just couldn’t stand lookin’ at the bastard I saw in the mirror anymore” he replied, making your heart break for him that he felt that way about himself, under all that confidence. “The coward who’d let all those ghouls from Diamond City die. Who was too scared to protect his fellow drifters from Vic and his boys. If I took it, I’d never have to look at him again. I could put all that behind me. I’d be free. Didn’t seem like a choice at all” he added. “Turns out it was just me runnin’ from somethin’ else in my life” he continued, sounding ashamed for his actions and his past, and you understood better than anyone what that felt like. You stepped a little closer to him to grab his hand in yours, an offering of comfort. “Hey, it doesn’t matter what you did. All that matters is what you do from here on out” you said confidently, something you always told yourself to keep your head high and keep going, making him chuckle. “I know a lotta bookies that’d disagree with you. But I feel what you’re gettin’ at. So let me get to the point” he said, grabbing your other hand in his as he looked at you, eye to eye now to show you what he was about to say next was very important to him.
“Throwin’ in with you, has been the best decision I ever made. It’s like I found a part of myself I never realized was missing…which happens sometimes when you’re a ghoul” he started, making you chuckle as you too knew that feeling all too well by now. “If I hadn’t taken up with you, I’d probably be in the gutter somewhere, getting gnawed on by radroaches. You’ve been one hell of a friend” he said, making you smile and chuckle at that, before you looked down at your hands held together, working up the courage to ask the question that had been plaguing your mind for ages now. This was it, this was the moment. “Have you…ever thought about us as maybe more than just friends?” You asked skittishly almost, hoping he’d say yes, praying he felt the same way. A part of you felt deep down like he did, call it hope, call it whatever, but you were never fully sure where you guys stood. You two flirted like he held interest, he looked out for you, invited you along for things that he’d really never invite anyone else to other than maybe Fehr, but it felt different when it was with you. There was a connection between you, that was undeniable, but what type of connection you were never sure of. He gave a chuckle at your question. “It that obvious? But c’mon, you don’t wanna wake up to this mug every morning. Never wish that on anyone I cared for” he replied, joking in that self deprecating manner he always did but answering your question nonetheless. “Hey, who I fall for is my decision, and I’ve fallen for you” you replied softly but with confidence, showing him that you meant it. “Wouldn’t expect that kinda lapse in judgement from you. But I guess that works out for me then, doesn’t it?” He asked with a happy smile, chuckling once more but you could tell that that comment did wonders to help him feel more at ease. “Moments like this, I know all that karma stuff is bull. Because no one like me should be this lucky” he added, making you chuckle in response as you came closer, looping your arms around his neck once again. “Sure you do. You deserve the world in my eyes, John” you said softly, genuinely as you looked up at him, your eyes promising nothing but love and support for his any and every endeavor. “I don’t need the world sunshine. I got you, what else could I need?” He replied, making you giggle as you rest your head against his chest. “So everything is okay between us then?” You asked, making him give a raspy huff in amusement. “I got you, everything else is just details and drug paraphernalia” he said, making you smile warmly as you chuckled once again at his corny line before leaning up and kissing him once more.
It wasn’t long before silence fell over the room long enough to hear the music playing from the jukebox once more. Once again, as if someone had been listening, it was a rather slow, very romantic song playing through the speakers.
Blue moon you saw me standing alone.
Without a dream in my heart,
Without a love of my own.
Blue moon, you knew just what I was there for.
You heard me saying a prayer for,
Someone I really could care for.
And then there suddenly appeared before me
The only one my arms will ever hold.
I heard somebody whisper “Please adore me”
You smiled into it as you both very quickly got swept back up into the moment with each other, his hands traveling the expanse of your curves slowly and softly, mapping out the valleys and plains of your body and to feel you against him. A mischievous grin took the place of the more innocent smile as you pulled away, gently pushing Hancock back to sit on his bed. He gave an equally mischievous grin and chuckle at your actions as you separated enough to take his hands and use them to slide the straps of your dress down your shoulders, allowing it to begin to fall down your frame. He gave a chuckle before whistling once it slipped from you, sitting in a red pool on the floor, leaving you in just your underwear as you stepped out of the discarded dress and straddled his lap on the bed.
And when I looked, the moon had turned to gold!
Blue moon!
Now I’m no longer alone
Without a dream in my heart
Without a love of my own
He grinned, his hands resting on your hips as yours sat on his collarbones, pulling him into another heated kiss. “Fuck…” was all he could manage to mutter into it, making you giggle as your hands wandered his frame. You smiled as you pulled back to enjoy the almost drunk look on his face as he drank you in. It was as if he didn’t know where to look or touch first, he was normally smooth and suave when it came to this sort of thing, but you were different than the rest. “You’ve got a wonderful way of making this ol’ ghoul feel like her old self again with that look” you replied, making him chuckle before clearing his throat. “What’s not to like there, sunshine? All I see is a badass, very beautiful woman sitting in front of me” he said, moving his hips against you and that told you all you needed to know as you chuckled before littering kisses down his scarred neck. “It ain’t exactly pretty underneath all this, you sure you still wanna do this?” He asked, making you look back up at him. “You kidding? Of course I do. Looks ain’t everything ya know” you said, making him laugh. “Says the model” he quipped, and you had to admit that it was sweet that he regarded you that way, but you knew you were no model. What you were though was true to your words when you undid the buttons to his undershirt and coat. You gave a laugh at his flirtation. “Yeah, maybe if a model spent too much time in a tanning bed” You replied, making him chuckle as you continued to litter your kisses down his chest after disposing of his top and coat, then down his stomach, and soon to where his pants sat at his hips. “Still gorgeous all the same to me” he said, and that made your heart flutter in your chest to hear. You couldn’t help the smile that painted your lips as you situated yourself on your knees between his legs.
Damn what a sight it was he’d thought to himself, seeing you on your knees before him, eagerly undoing the flag he used as a belt to free him from them and his briefs. You grinned up at him, getting them down and off, doing the same with your underwear, then happily taking your seat back on his lap. He gave a playful tap against your ass as you got situated, enjoying the nice handful that most ghouls weren’t blessed to still have once they’d reached this point. “I think you’re very handsome, John” you said genuinely, and god he could just melt from your compliments and tone. A moan rips from both of your throats as you grind against him, your slick cunt gliding along his length. “Fuck, oh no sweet cheeks, we’re doing this the right way” he said, making you cock your head to the side confused before he picked you up and put you on your back on the bed. You gave a playful yelp as he did before giggling as your back hit the mattress. “Wanna feel you and taste you first, get you all worked up. Somethin’ tells me you’re a sight to see when you’re all crazy for me” he said, making you swear you could actually blush for once as you let out a way louder moan than you meant to when one of his fingers grazed up and down your slit and found your clit almost immediately, drawing tight circles. Your hand clasped to your mouth immediately, knowing the walls were likely paper thin, but John seemed to have a better solution. He moved your hand away, leaning down to pull you into a heated kiss once more, muffling your moans to where they were just loud enough for him and him alone. It had been so long since you’d felt the touch of another, your scars usually keeping you from finding someone to help scratch that itch. There was the occasional crazy you’d run into that were hell-bent on trying to sleep with a ghoul to find out what it was like. You avoided those people the best you could because something told you that necrophilia didn’t exactly sit very highly on their never to do lists.
Soon his fingers moved down to prod at your entrance, pushing in slowly to allow you the chance to accommodate the intrusion. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as his roughly textured fingers began to piston in and out of you in a steady rhythm, sure to graze your walls to find that spongy bundle of nerves that would leave you crying his name. “Fuck, John…” you moaned, earning a low gravely groan from him. The way you said his name so salaciously went straight to his cock and made his head swim with all the ideas of how he could get you to say his name like that more. Soon his lips mimicked what you’d started earlier on him, trailing down your neck, stopping to tease and nip at your sensitive spots before moving down to take one of your nipples in his mouth. Your arms flew to cling around him, nails digging small crescent shapes into his back as you bit your lip so hard you were scared it would bleed. You were far more sensitive than you thought you’d be, even after ghoulification, apparently the loss of touch still left you as needy as before. “So good for me” he praised, making you whimper as his kisses dipped lower and lower. “Wanna taste you. Gotta know if you taste as sweet as you sound” he said, shifting in between your legs, kissing the insides of one of your thighs leading up to your sex before skipping to your other one, leaving you on edge. “John, don’t tease…” you mewled, making him chuckle at how eager you were. “You’re so cute, hard not to when you sound like that, sunshine” he replied before seeing just how wet you were for him. A sound of intrigue left him as he looked at his fingers once he withdrew them from you. “Tell me, this all for me?” He asked, pulling his fingers out and showing you your slick that clung to his fingers as he separated them, making you whine as you shake your head. “Yes, all for you John, please…” you begged, making him smirk as his fingers slid back inside of you with little resistance, and his tongue finally making contact against your sensitive clit. Your body arched off the bed for a moment, biting back another loud cry as his tongue started to circle your clit. “Fuck! Oh my god” you let out, making him chuckle as the pads of his fingers found your g-spot, rubbing it as his tongue drew all sorts of letters and shapes along your sensitive bud. Your breathing started to turn ragged, your mind blank, you could hardly think of anything other than the whispered expletives and cries of his name that left your lips like a mantra. “Keep sayin’ my name sweetheart, tell ‘em who makes you feel this good” he said with a cocky grin as he dove back into you like a man starved. To think, he could’ve had this the entire time you’d been traveling together, he was at least lucky to have it now.
“Just like that, just like that! Fuck…” you moaned, feeling the ache in your lower stomach start to burn and grow taut. It had been so long since you’d been with someone, and even longer since you’d been with someone who actually could help you reach your peak. Your hips began to buck selfishly against his fingers and tongue, making him moan into you as you used him. “That’s it baby, use me. Wanna hear that pretty mouth moan my name when you cum” he said, making you focus on chasing that high, god you were so fucking close, you could feel it. He peered up at you, watching as your face contorted with pleasure, calculating and changing his movements based on your expressions and sounds. You gasped as he started to draw tight circles around your clit with his tongue, curling his fingers inside of you to rub your g spot once more. “John I…fuck, I think I’m gonna- John!” You moan in warning the best you could before your orgasm washed over you like a tidal wave, sending your back arching off the bed and your thighs squeezing and trapping his head between your legs. He moaned into you as your body was savaged by what felt like every nerve ending lighting on fire all at once. He couldn’t care less if you suffocated him like this, even with no nose to get caught or crushed, he’d consider it an honorable way to go out. You tried to steady your breathing as best you could, finding it hard to open your eyes even, but when you did, you realized he was still trapped between your legs. “Oh fuck, I’m so sorry!” You apologized, opening your legs to let him free and breathe, whining as his fingers left you with that disappointingly empty feeling. “Don’t you dare apologize, being crushed between these is one hell of a dream come true” he said, making you roll your eyes playfully and laugh at his response. Your hand reached out to yank him back up onto the bed, finding your spot once again straddling him. He groaned low in his throat as your hands stroked him, his one hand resting on your hip, squeezing every now and again. “Drivin’ me crazy here sunshine, might just be enough to make me turn feral if you’re not careful” he said, making you chuckle as you kissed him once more, your taste still heavy on his tongue but you didn’t care. You delighted in the moans coming from him as your tongues fought for dominance over each other. Your head dipped into the crook of his neck, peppering kisses along his neck and collarbone. “Need you so bad, John” you said, voice no louder than a breathless whisper as he chuckled. “I dunno, judging by your reaction I figured my mouth was enough. I’m just kiddin’. Think you can handle it, sweet cheeks?” He asked, making you grin as you lined him up to your entrance, slowly working your way down onto his member. “You tell me” you challenged in response as he stretched you open, fuck it’s really been a long time. “Touché- fuuucckk. Goddamn baby…” he groaned as your needy cunt slowly sucked him in, careful to stop once he’d fully sheathed inside of you. “Fuck…” you panted, feeling him fill you entirely, his tip nudging the apex of your cervix.
“It’s uhh…it’s been quite a while since the last time I did this, but I wanna make you feel good” you said, and that ruined him entirely. How could someone so sweet be speared on his cock right now? He’d never know but he’d thank every god out there until the end of his days for it. “That’s alright baby, just not sure I have it in me to be gentle or stop once I’ve started there sugar” he said, grabbing your hips to help you start a good pace, leaving you to moan loudly as his cock nudged your cervix. “Don’t care, gentle can come some other time. Fuck, you feel so good…” you moaned as you met his hips with your own thrusts, taking over and setting the pace as you bounced up and down on his lap. “Love the way you think babe. Shit… tell me what you need sunshine” he said between pants and the sounds of your hips slapping together. “Need you, need you so bad John, please” you begged, trying your best to keep quiet but you both knew that ship sailed a while ago. Whenever your legs grew tired, he was there to grip your hips and help you move, making your eyes roll once again to the back of your head as you’d moan. When you would tip your head back, he’d lean his forward to catch one of your nipples in his mouth, sucking and licking at it to pull you closer to the edge.
He pistoned his hips up into you, all sense of restraint and control lost in the feeling of your gummy walls wrapped tightly around him. You gasped as you felt that sensation in your lower stomach again, getting tighter and tighter as he worked you both to your peak. “Yes! Fuck, so close, don’t stop!” You moaned, making him chuckle deviously. “Wouldn’t dream of it sugar, feel too good to stop” he replied through gruff grunts and soft moans into your shoulder before parting to look down to where your bodies were connected and watch as he disappeared inside of you. “Look at that, that’s a pretty sight” he said, praising the way you’d take all of him with ease and the way your thighs would jiggle as you hungrily bounced on his dick. His eyes raked up your frame to rest on your face, delighted to find your eyes rolled back once your were seated on him, then half lidded when you’d come up, and that happily little cock-drunk smile on your lips before it’d drop to let out a blissful moan. You were music to his ruined ears, and like the chems he took before this, he just couldn’t get enough. His thumb found your clit once more, earning a surprised jump and moan from you as he rubbed it to help you tip over the edge. He couldn’t just let himself cum before his girl did, what kind of man would that make him? Not a very good one at all, he reasoned. Before you knew it, you were toppling over that edge again, holding tightly onto him as your walls spasmed and fluttered around him before squeezing him tightly, making him moan as your release sparked his own. He moaned into your neck as you threw your head back with a lascivious moan, enjoying the pleasant sensation of him filling you up whilst his hands held you seated in his lap. You gave a contented hum, enjoying the feeling of being so full of love, of him. You smiled as he looked back up at you, kissing you sweetly and gently as if he wasn’t balls deep inside of you with his cum leaking down your thighs. He was a man of many capabilities, and certainly was one capable of making you happy in many different ways.
“And to think, I’d been missin’ out on all this this whole time” he joked, making you laugh as you got up to fetch a wet rag to clean yourself and him off with. “Well, now you know” you teased, a grin resting on your face as he snuck up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist as he hugged you from behind. He rested his chin along your shoulder as you stood in the connected bathroom, debating on whether you wanted to have a nice bath, or if you just wanted to lay in bed and cuddle with him to bask in the after glow. “Don’t know which is more addicting; you, or the chems” he said, knowing damn well that you were far more addicting to him but he enjoyed the playful way it’d get you to respond. “Tough competition, guess I’ll have to let you do me as often as the chems” you said, looking at him from over your shoulder and making him laugh at your dirty comment. “Don’t threaten me with a good time” he said, mischief evident in his tone as you felt something press against your rear. With the devious glint in his eyes and a grin to match, he led you back to his bed. Clearly he needed to test your offer.
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mrs-elsie-barnes · 7 months ago
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Not my usual post but please PLEASE be aware of who you're speaking to. Some people want to lift your voice up, and some people want to use to it hurt you or others in the community.
DO NOT ENGAGE WITH THE PRESS!
[text reads: The Guardian are prepping a story on DIY HRT and are looking to interview trans people for it. They are particularly snooping around for under-18s on DIY to lure into interviewing. Needless to say, DO NOT ENGAGE. You all know that here but we need to spread this warning (and why) to every social circle, support group, etc. This news needs to be endemic across the UK trans community. We cannot let this become a thing, coming straight Cass DIY entering the national conversation will become something they won't let go of like they have done previous times. If they get even one trans person to take part, especially a teen, it becomes a big enough story to hit the headlines and be taken the requisite notice of. Drop what you're doing and spread this warning to every trans person or organiser you know, no matter how libshit or cringe, now. We can't have some gullible patsy spill the details on eg homebrew to the press. Also order RAWS now. ]
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lowkeyrobin · 4 months ago
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hey!
idk if you’re still writing but if u are - and have the time - could you maybe write fourth grade or ray seeing the readers sh scars? totally understandable if not :))
ooo yeah sure! ; also I'm still active I promise haha, if I ever had to retire (which will hopefully never happen) I'd probably but a thing in my bio to detail that I'm gone temporarily/permanently ; but yeah, it's all cool, I've written ab sh plenty of times before and I'm fine with writing about it ; decided to do ray on this one cause I've given fg enough attention atm haha ; and thank you for requesting! hope you enjoy!
RAY ; don't hurt yourself again
summary ; he finds your sh scars
warnings ; language, substances, self harm & weapons (razors/scissors iykwim) used (slightly) in detail to cause physical harm
disclaimers ; pre-stevie era
word count ; 1.3k
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This hot, sunny summer day was no different than any other. Patsy Cline's Walkin' After Midnight rung in your headphones, your cassette player quietly whirring as it plays your mixtape. The summer vibe had finally hit you, inspiring you to get with the theme and listen to some more beachy/summery songs for the season.
Ray always found it funny how you had such a taste for music. He didn't get how certain music was only for certain seasons or only gave you the vibes of a certain time, but he wasn't against it. You were way better at making mixtapes than he was.
Speaking of him, you were on your way to meet him at an abandoned pool you'd found a couple months ago. It was around sunset, the heat wearing down against your back.
Trust, the pool was clean, you made sure of it. But you found it as some hole in the concrete by some unused project apartments, water just sitting stagnant inside. You pick up your pace a bit, wanting to hurry before the sun completely set.
As you arrive, you see Ray, Fuckshit, Fourthgrade, and Ruben, dressed down to their boxers as they fuck around in the water. You wave hello as they welcome you, watching as you strip down into whatever you preferred to wear in the water.
You join them as the moon illuminates the pool, the only other slight source of light being the mostly burned out street lamps.
You end up starting a little water war, with you, Ray, and Fourthgrade against Fuckshit and Ruben. It was mostly just a splash party, with lots of shouting and yelling. Said shouting and yelling earned you a noise complaint, causing police to come deal with you.
"Hey! Hands up, get out of the pool!"
As flashlights are pointed at you all, you quickly scramble out, grab your belongings, and run barefoot down the street to avoid the police. You laugh and yell to one another as you sprint down the road, adrenaline fueling you as you aren't able to feel the rocks in the road wedge into your feet.
You hide in a garden, lit up just enough so you'd be able to put your clothes on properly and be able to tie your shoes. You shove your dry clothes on over your wet ones, attempting to warm up before you begin to freeze due to the cold water soaked in your under clothing.
You notice Ray staring at you a little too long before looking away as you slide your shirt on. You brush it off, maybe thinking he was looking over at one of the other guys, and you happened to be in the way, or maybe he saw a rabbit or a squirrel run through the lawn.
You and Ray separate from Fourthgrade, Fuckshit, and Ruben, as the trio were planning to go to some 24 hour diner to eat dinner before heading home. You and Ray head the opposite way, wanting to go home as sleep slowly creeps up on you both.
Your walk home is mostly silent, warm street lamps lighting your way down the sidewalk. You slowly glide on your board next to Ray, who decides to walk. He shakes his locs out of his face to look up at you.
"Do you hurt yourself?" He asks bluntly, unable to word what he wanted to ask any differently.
"What?" You quickly look at him confused, almost shocked. "No"
"I saw scars on your arms earlier when we were in that garden," He speaks, "Those weren't cat scratches or just rush burns or some dumb shit, those were cuts. It's fine if you don't wanna talk about it, but it's not fine to bottle it up and just hurt yourself. Like, we're here for you, okay?"
You slightly shrug and look away, your foot hitting the pavement as you give yourself a little push. "I don't hurt myself anymore"
"Oh"
You hold back a light smile. "Yeah"
"When did you hurt yourself then?" He asks, almost disappointed in himself that he never caught onto it if it was in the past. "Why?"
You shrug as you give him a blunt explanation. "Long ago. They're just scars for a reason. Life got rough, and I didn't know how else to cope. I was too scared to drink or smoke like you guys, but I was somehow able to hurt myself instead."
He nods. "Sorry"
You nod, "It's cool. I was waiting for it to happen anyways. Just another consequence of my actions, but I've grown and yknow, sappy shit"
He chuckles, "Yeah, yeah."
He pulls a blunt from his pocket, like he'd pulled it from Mary Poppins' bag, considering he just randomly had it and a lighter. He lights it up, puffing it to feel a little calmer about what you'd told him. He was such an extreme empath when it came to shit like this because he knew what the bottom felt like after losing his brother. He understood but didn't know how to help, so he just listened.
The rest of the walk is fairly quiet, the smell of weed filling your noses while the sound of your board rolling on the concrete whirs in your ears.
He waves a slightly awkward goodbye as he walks up to his front porch, knowing you'd stay on the sidewalk until he actually got inside. He grabs at the screen door, pulling on it to realize it was locked. Within the Marry Poppins pockets he had, he surprisingly didn't have his housekey.
He turns back to look at you, giving you a look you knew all to well. You laugh before waving him down to you, offering up your bed for him. He jogs back down the sidewalk to catch up as you'd already drifted away, knowing he'd follow like a lost puppy.
He holds onto your hand as you trail down the neighborhood towards your house, trying to hide the fact that holding your hand was his only comfort that he knew you weren't currently hurting yourself.
You open your front door to let him inside, placing a finger over your mouth to tell him to hush as you walk toward your room. You close the door and hand him some clothes he'd be able to wear to bed, allowing him to go to the bathroom to change while you also change.
You both flop down on your bed, sitting in silence as you stare up at the ceiling covered in glow in the dark stars. A lamp illuminates the room, covering it in a warm blanket.
He turns to look at you. "Do you wanna talk about it at all? Get it off your chest?"
You shrug before answering, "Yeah. I mean, what do you wanna know?"
He shrugs in response. "What'd you use?"
"Scissors, razors, pencil sharpeners. Anything sharp, used a knife once."
"Damn" He mutters. "How often did you do it?"
"About multiple times almost every day" You answer. "I was at the bottom then"
"When was then?" He asks, "A few weeks, months, years ago?"
"Months" You answer carefully. "I'm not anywhere near depressed like that anymore, I swear"
He nods, turning on his side to look at you as you speak. "You know you can reach out for help, right? Like, we aren't gonna yell at you or something, we wanna help you, I promise"
You quickly nod. "Yeah, it's just, when you're that low, you don't think help will actually help. I was worried if I reached out, I'd just be thrown to the side or I'd be yelled at and lose everything I have left."
He nods. "Can you promise me you won't hurt yourself again?"
You smile, appreciating the thought of those words. You hold your pinkie out to him, allowing him to shake his with yours to pinkie promise on it.
"I promise"
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