auteursnias

[auteursnias]

i drew far too little kisses last year i gotta remedy that in 2025

[auteursnias]

sas fandom died in tiktok, so I'll put my edit also here

[auteursnias]

paddy's letters in which he mentioned eoin

august 1941:

‘i’m doing nothing this morning. i could go to church i suppose but Ii am too lazy.i ’ll write this letter instead. i haven't seen mcgonigal for over a month now but i expect him to join me here sometime this week’

september 1941

‘i wrote to mother a couple of days ago probably arrive about the same time as this, i mentioned that mcgonigal is here with me, he is fine also’

november 1941:

‘as i think you know, your brother and i have for some time been in this parachute unit. on sunday the 16th we dropped in to cyrenaica. eoin has not yet come back. we had decided, before we went in, that if one of us did not get back to the rendezvous, the other would not worry or write home until at least a month had elapsed as we reckoned that if the worst came we could lie up and wait until our ground forces reached us […]’

january, 1942

‘I had a letter from mrs mcgonigal yesterday asking for news of eoin. she is a fine woman, she didn't tell his brother ambrose who was getting married until after his honeymoon. i had already written to her & instill believe that the odds are he is a prisoner. i wish i knew’

february 1942:

'’i haven't heard anything yet of mcgonigal. but his people may have, apparently they are advised by the red cross first.’

april 1942:

‘still no news out here of mcgonigal, it is about time we heard of him’

may 1942:

‘i need not tell you how much i miss eoin, it would be impossible to have lived with a person of his character for nearly two years without getting to like and admire him tremendously. also although i am several years older than eoin i depended on him greatly when i had any serious decisions to make’

may(?) 1942:

‘i am getting very tired of this country, especially since eoin landed a loser, it was all right when there was someone you could talk to about home with’

september 1942:

'i had a letter from mrs mcgonigal. i am awfully sorry for her but she is very plucky [it will] soon be a year now since eoin was killed’

[auteursnias]

indeed, it has been said that it was eoin's recommendation that helped persuade stirling to recruit blair:

the assumption therefore is that after lewes, the first prospective officer stirling must have interviewed was eoin. he would have also felt free to explain the circumstances surrounding blair's dismissal from 11 commando in candid terms to stirling, and where to find him. this would have reinforced what stirling already thought, and given the misconceived gossip that appears to have been swirling around at the time, perhaps also laid to rest any lingering concerns that blair was the right person to lead one of his troops. stirling is quoted as confirming that he was told of blair's whereabouts by 'a great friend of his', making clear that 'eoin mcgonigal was the one person who liked paddy before he became a hero'

[auteursnias]

'the only person who was able to control paddy when he cut loose was eoin mcgonigal. eoin had been known to point a revolver at him and say, "i'll shoot you, blair." paddy would stop because he knew that eoin meant it.'

[auteursnias]

'eoin mcgonigal was the one person who liked paddy before he became a hero,' said one who knew them both. one of mayne's biographers goes further: 'if there was a real love in [mayne's] life, it was his friend eoin mcgonigal.' something snapped in mayne when mcgonigal died.

(they really were soulmates)

[auteursnias]

«when eoin was killed in action paddy gave up time on leave to go looking for the grave of his friend in the desert unfortunately not to be found. he then wrote to the family who expressed their gratitude for his efforts. paddy never got over eoin’s death»

[auteursnias]

have you ever seen a man so attractive you started crying

[auteursnias]

— what happened to you? — doesn't matter.

[auteursnias]

"why would you let this voice set in your head? it’s meant to destroy you"

[auteursnias]

when you’ve a panic attack cause you found out & realised that your partner has been in love with you all this time

[auteursnias]

— protect him at all costs.

[auteursnias]

it’s you.

despite everything

it’s still you.

[auteursnias]

Jayce being doomed to die in the snowstorm before his life even began, and Viktor taking pity upon him, making sure his death never comes to pass. Viktor being doomed to die a slow death that robs him the chance to build the world he wants, and Jayce moving heavens & earth to bring him back. Jayce is self-annihilating and Viktor is self-replicating; their love is flawless, exquisite chaos.

If Jayce doesn't die in the snowstorm he dies of suicide. if his suicide is averted he will get himself infected by the hexcore and then its terminal anyway. Neither of them is supposed to live but they will undoom this narrative with their own hands.

at the end of the universe Viktor could have chosen to simply close the cycle and never perpetuate what has happened but he WANTS Jayce to live, even though he knows exactly how bad things can become, he wants him to have a chance at making their life something worth living for. breaking the balance of life and death because its You.

(something about how a God can only exist through the faith of a true believer and they were that, for each other)

[auteursnias]

jayvik + symbolism

[auteursnias]

jayce will understand

[auteursnias]

1.04 | 2.09