#Or them waking me up thinking they're being so quiet in reality they never know how to be especially when they're playing

[sastielsfandom]

It gets more and more disappointing every time I dream that I'm with my mom and youngest siblings, just to wake up and they're nowhere around. I miss them a lot.

[chocochannie]

Brightest Star

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ pairing: regulus black x gn!reader, fluff

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ summary: a night walk takes an unexpected turn

You were walking in the deep night through the castle's cold corridors. Lost in your thought, you saw the dim moonlight shining outside lighting the grass outside.

There was something about wandering around alone at night, but you couldn't resist thinking how badly you yearn for more from life. Being alone was fun, but being lonely wasn't. You thought about all of the group of friends always talking, sitting and playing together, and how your heart aches every time you see it. You had a few friends, of course, but they seemed to get along better without you. You've thought about how maybe you're just overreacting, and maybe they're not the type of people you'd be around all the time, but how long could you wait for people so dear to your heart that you'd never think about anything like this again?

Hearing quiet and distant laughing, you drifted more into your thoughts, finally arriving at your destination. Walking to the astronomy tower in the middle of the night was an everyday occurrence for you. Nobody ever bothered you there, and the sky painted with bright stars was your dearest sight. Taking out a pack of cigarettes that you almost went crazy trying to get at hogwarts, you sought out constellations you knew.

Virgo, hydra, cancer, and so on. Taking a drag, you helplessly started to think again. Picking up smoking made you think your problems would go away, but they stayed just as the addiction did. Thinking over and over again probably made it worse, but what could you do? Who could you talk about it? Of course, the greatest advice you've gotten is to go out and make some friends, it's not like you've never tried it's just that people rather stay in their circles instead of adopting a stranger into their pack.

You were cruel to yourself for those thoughts, but even more for being deadly jealous of the marauders.

Picture them, a perfectly balanced group, good-looking with the ability to get whoever they want, extremely funny, witty yet smart. Pranks of theirs always made everyone's day, including even some slytherins. Seeing them walking past you and greeting everyone they knew at the same time made you so incredibly envious of what they have. And it made you think how pathetic your tries are. Their unbreakable friendship was incomprehensible to you.

Distracted by your thoughts, you didn't hear someone walking up the stairs and going up to the very same railing you were hunched over. A rather loud bang snapped you back to reality.

Gathering yourself, you turned around to see Regulus Black standing at the top of the stairs in his usual dark clothes. His hair was messy, probably from waking up, his gaze unreadable as usual. After a while of silence, he decided to join you, keeping his distance.

"Smoking?" his voice quiet.

You nodded in reply, offering him one, which he took without thinking twice. Your gaze landed on him as he lit it up and exhaled the smoke into the cold night air after taking a long drag. Sometimes, you would catch yourself staring at him in the class, fearing he would catch you, but you couldn't help resist it. His features were so godly, his deep blue eyes always seemed to catch yours, his dark curls framed his face perfectly, and his long, slender fingers leafed through the book with grace.

"Couldn't sleep?" he suddenly asked, turning to you.

"Never can." You replied as you watched the breeze cause his dark curls to move along his face.

"Me neither." The wind was picking up again, and another dark curl fell across his forehead. He did nothing to brush it aside, as if he was too preoccupied staring at you.

Looking back at the stars, you felt your cheeks fire up but don't know whether it's from the cold or the man's strong gaze.

"Do you like the stars?" he asked after filling his lungs with nicotine once more.

"A lot, I study them often."

"I assume you have a favorite star then?" his voice was now warmer and gentle.

Looking as the night sky bathes him in its soft light, you answered.

"I suppose I do... but i don't know its name. It's the brightest one in the leo constellation, and every time I come here, it seems like it's shining just for me."

"Oh? That one?" his finger guided your gaze to the star.

"Yeah! Do you know the name of it?" Your eyes were shining bright from the night sky.

"It's Regulus" he says as he smirks.

"Oh.. really? Sorry if it's weird.." turing your head to him, you tried not to make things ever more weird. Why does something like this happens when you try to talk to somebody new?

"Don't stress, it's fine" smile could be heard from his voice.

After a while of silence, being broken only by sounds of exhaling smoke, he spoke again, but with a tone in his voice, you couldn't wrap your head around.

"You remind me of the moon."

"I remind you of what?" being completely taken aback, you turned your head to him, but he was already watching you.

"You're mysterious and magical in so many ways, and you probably don't notice that. You're compassionate, kind, wise, and you can see the beauty of everything."

You stared at his pale skin with pink tinted lips, not knowing what to do or even say.

"But, you don't even know me?"

"You catch my eye whenever I see you. Your eye color is my favorite one, I can see how every time someone mentions art you get excited, I notice how you're the only one who says goodbye to the teacher after the class is dismissed, I can see how you don't talk much to your friends knowing you have an unimaginable amount of things to share. The way you treat cats near the castle, the way you help first years to find their classes, the way you put so much effort in making the perfect potion, I see it all. I see you. And I wanna know you more, I wanna know your deepest darkest secrets, and your sweet dreams. I wanna know your opinions and they way you prefer your tea. I want to know you." his eyes were looking straight into yours, and you could feel the emotions flowing through him.

The breeze was getting stronger, messing up his hair further, but the only thing he focused on was you.

You couldn't form a single sentence. The way he talked to you fully emerged in emotions, made something inside you go soft. Softer than it ever was before. You made your mind quickly grabbing him by the collar, dropping your cigarette to the ground and kissing him. Something you wanted to do for ages. His soft lips felt like honey on yours, while his curls under your hands were delicate like flowers. melting into his touch, you let him take control, still tasting the cigarette on him. He was treating you as a doll that's about to fall apart. Pulling away to catch breaths felt like breaking a spell. Your eyes met again with lust.

"I want you to know me." holding his face with your eyes, you broke into a smile. "You're my brightest star" you spoke so quietly you didn't even know if the boy heard you, but looking at how his face lit up and his eyes shone, you were certain he will hear everything you say.

masterlist

[14dyh]

17 from the new list? hange getting rejected

Get Over Her | H.Z.

Pairing: Hange Zoë x gn!reader Summary: You helped Hange get over their rejection. Word count: 1.0k A/N: sorry anon i can't write about y/n themself rejecting hange so this happened :"")

It would have been impossible for you to miss it when Hange acts strangely– even for themselves. Being roommates for over a year, you've known how they take their coffee differently in the morning, never miss checking on Science Daily to tell you something fascinating, or how their footsteps sound when they're trying not to wake you up at night. 

You know Hange. 

Their pain wouldn't pass over your eyes and the way they ruminate in an excruciating manner that you're starting to feel the headache for them. It began with the rejection that happened weeks ago. Hange just came home, throwing over the flowers they failed to give in an empty bin and refused to say anything other than they got rejected, that's all, just kinda unfortunate this time, right? You knew better and recognized right away how the rejection slowly deteriorates them from the inside, even if they're trying to laugh it off by dousing those flowers with an organic-based chemical that speeds up the composting process (as Hange happily announced to you). At some point, you had to try and rip them away from that cruel cycle of never admitting their pain. Sometimes you would spend hours in the arcade, pull them along the quiet garden on the riverside to watch ducks, or watch plays and movies until you both pass out on the couch. From those moments, you managed to glimpse the sparkle in their eyes again which they lost a day later after seeing her. 

You want to shake Hange into reality and yell at them to get over her. But how can you manage to do such a thing when she looks like everything Hange had hoped for? 

She would pass by the hallway and everyone's attention would be stirred. Her grace and fragrance, or how she managed to stand out like a fascinating flower among a field of others. She was what Hange hoped to be the perfect opposite of their ideal paradox. But now they couldn't stand or act like themself whenever in the same room as her or not until they decided to space out and let their ideas absorb them. There were times that they would remain silent in school, but you knew that the sound of their thoughts was getting louder and louder to bear.

You were both in your dorm, studying in the dead of the night when they asked, "Hey Y/N? Do I sound annoying?" And it sounded more like a question out of curiosity than self-deprecation. 

"Well, not really..." you responded. 

"Not really? What does that mean?"

"I mean, why would you ask me? If ever you're annoying, I'll be the first one to get used to it so don't think I would mind that anymore,” you explained, sitting up from your bed as you tried to meet their eyes. Hange’s gaze remained far away. 

"So maybe I do sound annoying..." they pondered loudly before turning to you and continuing. "Was it my voice?"

Hange continued on and on, asking and piecing together information on that topic.

And you were getting tired and hurt from the inside as they thought that maybe their voice was annoying, or their humor, or their hobbies. You nudged their swivel chair with your foot. 

"Hey, stop that now. Why don't we go out? Maybe a midnight stroll or a snack. Anything to stop you from that nonsense."

You pulled them out of those thoughts again, taking the streets at midnight to walk around and get something to eat. To talk about anything else other than their rejection because you know it would make them break. The night faded into a deep dark blue and it was 2 AM. You forgot how you both ended up on the couch, drinking away your thoughts as Hange laid their head on your shoulder. They rambled on about funny anecdotes and fascinating theories that would concern anyone, and then they quieted for a moment before saying, "You know... I grew the flowers I wanted to give to her."

Hange only smiled before finally turning to you, "Heh, I like the sound of that."

They said in a quiet voice as though raising it any higher would cause them to break down. 

Then they chuckled before saying, "Those flowers were a cross-hybrid. And when I showed her, she said it looked like a weird sack of balls and I said noooo, it wasn't quite like that. It's supposed to symbolize how the sun dips on the fabric of space..."

They went on drunkenly, arms around you now as they leaned closer as if any attempt they would make to move away would result in great discomfort.

"And I thought it was a cute metaphor to relate her to the sun but... she only laughed at me. Not in a way you would laugh in amusement with my ideas. Somehow, it sounded mocking."

And that hurt, Hange's voice broke, prompting the sobs that came after. 

You held them close, a portion of your heart aching as someone made them feel ashamed of all the things you love about them. What angered you the most was that the girl never rejected them outright, maybe to keep Hange in a way to use them or entertain herself. You don't deserve any of that, your mind protested. You thought of Hange as everything wonderful that happened in this world, as all the poetry and love in your heart screamed. 

"I made a mistake... And I'm correcting that..." they muttered on your shoulder, on the verge of falling asleep. They held you tighter, their tears dripping down your shirt before they relaxed on your body. For a moment, you tried to make sense of their words, maybe they regretted falling for that girl after all and realized how much they didn’t deserve such treatment. 

As they drifted to slumber, still clung to you, your eyes found the small plant growing on Hange’s table that reminded you of the nebula you always talk about with them.

[univxrsez]

🪐,🕸️, &🥥!

hellooo thanks for the ask!! :)

shifting ask game for my k-pop dr ( 9th member of skz )

🪐 ― basically just stray kids in general are my comfort characters!! in this reality, i've only been a stay since november, but they've grown on me so much since then ( i actually just got my first skz album today i'm so happyyy <3 ) & i think that in both this reality and my dr we'd be rlly good friends

when i think about skz, i honestly feel like i'm at home - if i don't really feel like 'connected' to people, i'm a pretty shy & quiet person and rarely really act like myself; with skz, i share so many of the same interests as them and have similar personalities / they have personalities that i'd vibe with, etc, and i feel like i'd be very comfortable with them & not be afraid to get out of my shell. i guess it feels like i'd just... belong there, with them?

they're the kind of people that i would trust with my life, honestly. they'd be there to support me, cheer me on, make me feel like i matter & that i'm important - and i want to do the same for them because they deserve it. for example, i see bang chan in this reality talk about how he doesn't like his curly hair or his face without makeup, i see him talk about staying up late and overworking himself and not being satisfied with himself so casually, and i want to go tell him he's absolutely perfect just the way he is both inside and out. all eight of the members deserve to hear that, & that's the first thing i want to do once i shift.

honestly i just love them so much :')

🕸️ ― when i wake up in my dr, i'd be waking up in my room - basically lee know is my s/o in my dr & i scripted that he'd be laying down next to me and hugging me ( because that's honestly the best thing to wake up to after you realize you shifted yk 😭 i'll actually cry happy tears when i see that minho's literally riGHT THERE )

as for clothes, just pajamas lolll i never really thought about the specifics of what it looks like; while i'm answering this though i'll go look at pajamas because that's probably a good idea

^^ maybe something like that idk y'all 💀

🥥 ― hmm i'd say vanilla ( which is my signature scent in my dr 🤪 ), the nice fresh air near bodies of water ( scripted that minho confessed to me by the han river hehe <3 ), & concert air ( i'm an idol so this is self-explanatory lol )

[chvoswxtch]

Miss ma’am could I have an old fashion with Mr. Castle?👀

Creators choice, go wild my love <3

my fiesty little phoenix,

you can have whatever you'd like. thank you for letting me run wild with this one. I hope you enjoy. <3

headcannon below the cut

frank castle finally takes a goddamn day off

i personally think it's criminal we never got a single scene of what frank likes to do in his free time, so i'm taking it upon myself to make y'all feed into my delusions of what that would look like, because the man deserves a day of fucking peace, so let's give it to him

frank is an early riser. after years in the military, his body is just trained to wake up at a certain time, and no matter how much he wants to sleep in, he just can't

i'd like to think frank sleepily pads through his place, makes himself a strong brew of coffee, and goes outside to watch the sunrise. i think he would enjoy the peace, when it's early in the morning and everything is super still and quiet, and he just gets to exist for a little while, slowly let his body and mind wake up as he takes in the tranquil colors of the sunrise

maybe he'd make himself a nice lil breakfast. he strikes me as a bacon guy, so whatever he makes, just know there's bacon. he likes the applewood smoked thick cuts. don't ask me to explain, i can't. it's just something my soul knows

we saw that frank likes to read, so maybe he spends some of the morning working through a new book. he strikes me as someone that secretly loves murder mysteries, and mysteries in general. i'd like to think he gets really into them and really excited when he figures out the mystery before he reaches the end

"fuckin' knew it was the goddamn maid!"

frank also strikes me as a handyman, and i'd like to think he enjoys little projects. maybe he spends part of the afternoon giving his truck a tune up while listening to classic rock in the garage with a few beers (he's a classic rock guy, don't @ me. y'all saw how excited he got about those bruce springsteen tickets) maybe he's finally putting together some new furniture he got, or even building some new furniture bc he can fucking do anything. maybe he's repainting the spare bedroom bc the white walls were boring and frank's secret guilty pleasures are cooking and home makeover shows

in a perfect world, frank has a dog (it's definitely a sweet, beautiful pitbull) so maybe they go on a little walk together on a nice trail or maybe they go to the doggy park so they can play and when they come back they take a lil nap on the couch together bc it's fucking cute and they're sleepy so why the hell not

i'd also like to think that when the evening rolls around, frank goes to socialize bc the thought of him being lonely breaks my heart in ways i can't explain

maybe he goes over to the lieberman's for dinner and helps sarah cook, teaches david how to fix the sink that's broken in their guest bathroom, plays catch with zach out in the backyard, helps leo with a book report she's writing, and passes out with the kids on the couch twenty minutes into a movie they picked out

or maybe he goes out with curtis to a bar to have a few drinks, gets talked into (and drunk enough) to bust some moves out on the dance floor, giggles with curtis as they drunkenly stumble together to the closest twenty-four hour pizza joint, and ends up having a sleepover with him bc his apartment is closer and the pizza and booze made him sleepy

bonus points if curt doesn't make him take the couch and they just share his bed bc they're drunk and also brothers who cares (you're telling me all that time in the military together and there wasn't a "there's only one bed" situation? sorry, I can't suspend reality that much)

extra bonus points if he goes out with matt, karen, and foggy to josie's and is the only one that can keep up with matt in pool

"can't believe y'all let this bastard cheat you like this. this how you treat your friends, red? hustlin' 'em for free drinks? you're the worst goddamn catholic I ever met."

extra extra bonus points if foggy challenges him to a shot contest but then gets so drunk that frank has to carry him home over his shoulder and karen gets several pictures and videos and matt can't stop cackling

extra extra extra bonus points if he's having to carry matt AND foggy home drunk over his shoulder (bc he could) and karen is still being the absolute mvp getting so many pictures and videos while giggling

i just want this man to have a good fucking day that's all, thank you for coming to my ted talk

[hairupintheair]

Never Leave Me

Summary: Viva is working through some stuff, okay? Word Count: 1,263

It's short enough that I'll just post the fic under a cut, if you prefer to read here rather than over on Ao3:

Sometimes they agree on a sleepover, and she's always giddy with the thought of it. With the thought that they now have this, a whole lifetime of this, to look forward to: parties in the daylight and nights spent laughing and close. That it wasn't taken from her the way she thought everything else had been.

Her family, her friends, her people, her home. Everything gone. But not anymore. Like the laws of physics changed. Like reality twisted itself into something that shouldn't be possible, something she doesn't deserve but will do anything to keep. How can you thank someone enough for coming back from the dead? How can you be worthy enough to earn back a family stolen from you?

The first time she's ecstatic. Even knowing what comes with the night, with the darkness and the quiet. It doesn't matter. She has a sister again, and she's not going to let anything get in the way of that. Not ever again.

And then the night is here and so is Poppy, and it's wonderful and fun. There's music and snacks and giggled confessions by the mushrooms' soft glow for hours, long into the night... But then the talk starts to peter out into exhausted yawns and sleepy murmurs, and the darkness starts closing in on Viva's back, pressing against her spine like a heavily breathing animal.

And Poppy boasts that she can go all night, that they're going to stay up to watch the sun rise together, but Viva can see she's already fighting it. Her eyes momentarily close like a shade being drawn down over a window, until she jolts back up and they fly open. But it's a losing battle and Viva can feel it, like a vise tightening around her chest.

Finally Poppy's halfhearted murmurs trail off into nothing, drifting off even in the middle of her sentence, and Viva's own voice stutters to a nervous halt. The only light comes from a cluster of small blue mushrooms casting a faint glow around the room. The pod is silent. Her ear twitches. From somewhere far away something in the forest croaks.

She feels her heartbeat growing in her chest, faster, louder. Cranked up just as if something has been waiting for this exact moment, biding its time all day, waiting through the parties and the excitement, ready to pounce and dig its claws into her as soon as everything slows. A voice that stalks her mind for the quiet moments in order to wrap her in insidious words of her weaknesses and failings. Her heartbeat now is loud and clamoring. She presses her hand against her chest to try to contain it, fearful that it will escape and wake Poppy and reveal all her worthlessness.

She doesn't want to think about it. Doesn't want to remember the suffocating dust of the tunnels or the thudding of giant feet overhead, the worry that the next moment, the next step, would bury them alive. They say she fought off Bergens that day, but she knows the truth. She knows that all she's good at is running away, with fear taking up every space inside of her. A small, scared animal fleeing for its life.

And during the day there were new trolls to meet and everything new to see, keeping the voice at bay, but now it's just the two of them in the pod with the darkness and the quiet, and Viva swears she can taste dust in the air that a moment ago was only scented with marshmallows and nachos.

Her eyes dart around the room. Her sister is flopped on the floor next to her, sprawled in a sleeping bag of pink-tinted leaves, head pillowed on her arms. She's so still and so, so quiet. Not like it should be. Not like her at all. Not like she's alive and full of life and sunlight. Like she's...

Before Viva knows it her hair is wrapped around Poppy's waist, pulling her close, and she presses her face into Poppy's side to try to control her shuddering skin, her panicked breathing. One ear presses against Poppy's chest to listen to the air going slowly, easily, steadily in and out of her lungs.

The strong beat of her heart and the breath in her body combine to make a song that drives back the dark voice lurking in the silence, and Viva wraps her hair around both of them and her arms circle around her sister's waist because inside the golden cocoon she's HERE and she's SAFE. She's sleeping and that means she won't hear the mocking voice that lives in the back of Viva's mind, reminding her that she's not good enough, she's never been good enough to stop the most terrible things from happening, and now that she's been given this gift, it can be taken away again at any moment.

Viva couldn't let that happen. She couldn't lose anyone, ever again. She'd die first.

But the voice rises up against the tempo of Poppy's heartbeat, a counterpoint of cruel laughter that destroys the gentle song. Mocking. Taunting. Reminding Viva that no matter how good she gets, how hard she works to protect everyone, the silence will always be waiting for her, and the uncertainty will rush in to fill the quiet void any time Viva stops. Any time she's not big and vivacious and loud. It's waiting for her, there in her own mind. Where she'll never escape it. Because you can't escape the truth.

And then Poppy is suddenly awake and staring at her with the roundest, widest eyes Viva has ever seen. Viva cringes, forces her wince to morph into a big, toothy grin. Her voice takes off without consent and words prattle down between them like raindrops, all about the fun they had and the more fun they will have the next time, and the time after that, and the time after, and the--

And then Poppy's hands are on her shoulders, on her cheeks. Their eyes are inches apart, and she presses a soft kiss to Viva's forehead, between her eyebrows. And Viva lets out a sob of relief as the words falling from her lips and the mocking voice in her head both fall silent, at last.

She waits for the next attack. A reminder of another failure. For something. Anything. But the horrible voice is gone now, as banished as when she used to ask her daddy to look for Bergens under her bed before she went to sleep. And Poppy is looking at her with a light in her eyes like she understands, like she can see the horror in the back of Viva's mind and doesn't judge her for it, doesn't think she's crazy or a failure. Viva's quiet sobs turn into a pained wail, a tidal wave she didn't realize how desperately she was trying to hold back. Poppy's hair threads through Viva's until the two of them are wrapped in a spiral gold and pink cocoon that shakes with the force of her cries.

It takes too long for the torrent to peter out. Her throat is raw and abraded, her vision blurred. She has to speak. Viva gathers her courage, forces raspy words out between sniffles and shuddering breaths. And Poppy's touch is like cool rainwater and her words are promises that wash away old grit and dust from her wounds, until there's nothing left inside the cocoon that isn't strength and warmth and love and healing tears.

"Never leave me. Please."

"I never, ever will."

[sleepy-aletheas]

post 2.3 ramblings

I love the mindbending ability any dream-reality story is build on, but damn, is Penacony flaring up my paranoia and just leaves me cynical about any and everything.

(These are just my on-going observations and musings, so really, it's more like an unhinged red-string-on-the-wall moment for me since the start of 2.0 all the way here. I'm so delighted, but damn, is it putting my brain into a constant loop.)

It's not even necessarily the fault of a "too ideal ending" or "that was a fast wrap up". I don't need to see the stellaron be dealt with on-screen (neither did it happen in Belobog or Luofu, so I didn't expect it to happen here either), but it's always brushed off as us just being deeply asleep while its been dealt with, and no one wanting to wake us up (and TB asking if they're still asleep is also a thing to note. Makes my paranoia feel validated, because the mc is also paranoid).

Then there is March, and oh boy, am I the most suspicious of her, cause this doesn't feel like March at all. It's like a caricature, or someone trying their best to be March from a very surface level, but never really landing the mark right. Her being there every time we wake up from a dream (be it Ena's or then after Sunday), and avoiding elaborating on stuff, just pushing us on with the plot. Her being like "I dreamed of shopping until a tentacle yanked me out of there" (I'm paraphrasing here) makes no sense at all to me — if everyone was stuck in a dream of an ideal reality, her "just shopping" wouldn't scratch the surface of her character; she is always struggling with her past and lost/blocked memories, her purpose and identity, and you wanna tell me her dream didn't give her anything of that? Doubt. The closest true March we got was when we stood to bid farewell to Mikhail, and her monologue — that is our March, someone who struggles with her sense of belonging in the grander scheme of things, who clings to memories and moments because she only has the time on the Express.

Doesn't help, that no one mentioned the Annihilation Gang, like, at all. We were made aware they're gonna be there. One of them directly talked to Black Swan, but now it's quiet? No destructive shenanigans? No plotting from the shadows? Nothing? Where did they go?

On the matter of destruction — there is a black hole sucking in all the memoria and making the dream slowly collapse, and no one is concerned? There is that one NPC, but otherwise there is no panic, no active plan on how to handle it. Micah will keep up the peace in Dreamflux Reef, but the blackhole we got a perfect view of is...not a problem? The Dreamweavers also aren't really solving that issue either, instead they are just building more on top over everything, not going to the core of the problem to deal with it.

Also with the whole waking up from a dream to wake up from a dream to wak- you get, it's such a mess, because unless we leave Asdana for good, we cannot ever be sure what is a dream and what is reality. Non of these characters are reliable narrators. All of them are swimming in memoria. The closest beings capable of moving around aware of this are Memokeepers (and possibly Ratio and Acheron, for one is Ratio and the other walks the path of Nihility, so that makes it complicated, cause we don't know their limits and capabilities, ugh), but Black Swan is keeping her cards close to her chest and rather pushes others to do stuff while she slinks around observing.

Not to say, that nothing that is happening is inconsequential or unimportant — many things are a true concern or possibility to happen (the Express running out of fuel, the IPC trapping Penacony into a deal, the Express being chosen as mediators between the factions, because of course they would be), neither do I think the interaction between the characters is a delusion, I think they are acting as they would outside Asdana and their dynamics are real (except March, there just is something about her that makes me feel antsy whenever she is around; I got more trust in Sparkle than her at this point, and that's so funny to me). It's like, the information is true about people and other places, because these are thoughts and memories brought to Asdana from the outside, but the happenings in the star system are too convoluted to really be confident in saying "this is what is truly happening", because we cannot know for sure. Not now, not until we get out, or until the memoria is handled in one way or another.

Conclusion: Penacony is playing with my mind so much, I cannot trust anything until it's all actually resolved. It's fun and makes my brain buzz with energy and zest, so that's great. And even if technically Penacony's story is at the end, there are just too many plot points staying unresolved or need to be expanded upon, nothing was truly explained and only left me with more questions. Maybe I just need more time to ruminate over it all.

[targaryenvodka]

the lonely joker

warnings - 18+ please! discussion of drug addiction and alcoholism

word count - 600

authors note - what can i say, winter makes me sad. this isn't a very comforting concept, so please don't read it if you think it will negatively affect you

In his mind, there lie only two possibilities. Being heard or never existing on the face of the Earth. He yearns for them to listen, anyone and everyone to at least try to understand what he thinks. 

It's a long way before that though, so he haunts neighborhoods after dark, walking around in the cold with a thick wall of music and space around his brain. Curating his ideas, cementing them into reality. He draws from some deep pool within himself- the water cold, clear, constantly refilling within the deep cavern underground. It runs across his hand and down his forearms, cutting deep across his tongue. The ideas, they're there- but is there anyone to take them from him?

His voice is the only thing that keeps the water from flooding. It's the only thing that keeps his mind sane. The drive for at least two eyes on him that understand, that hear what they need to hear. It's the only thing that keeps the pills out of his hand some days.

But it doesn't keep the drinking out. Nor does it keep the smoking, which he does to pad the fear that no one will ever hear him.

Which, of course, he is certain will never happen.

Failure follows him like a kicked dog. He can never shake it, no matter how hard he fights it. It just comes back for more abuse, constantly tailing him and whimpering in his ears.

Sometimes, late at night, storms brew. Rain falls into the cavern, flooding his brain. Too many ideas, but not enough people to hear them. Too much to handle, and no one to even help. He must be heard. He must pour the water into someone else. He must be heard. He is drowning in his thoughts, and the pressure is only building.

So he does what he must when nobody is around to help bail him out. He writes.

Low, heavy music and thick socks, hair that hasn't been washed for days as he barricades himself inside his room. It is his last stand, his only hope for now.

He crouches in a ball against the rough wood, praying, hoping for the storm of his world to end. Not even sure what he wants to say, but knowing that he has to say something, he reaches for a pen and paper.

The storm does not recede, not even when he fills two pages with writing, hectic thoughts pouring out onto the paper beneath. Suddenly, there is so much to say. It only stops when he reaches for his weed. The quiet floats out of his high, stormwaters receding to a quiet calm.

He laughs at the paper next to him, covered in scribbles. He laughs at the failure that whines next to him. He laughs at the world crumbling around him. He laughs because it's the only thing left to do.

In the morning, he wakes up and does it all again. Things don't look as bleak as they did the night before, but the reality in his brain is harsher and the fear etched into his skin is in sharp relief.

He shrugs, fights down the urge to laugh again- nothing’s funny, but it’s what his mind knows how to do. Some people cut. Some people run. Some people push it all away until they explode.

Aegon? He just laughs, a grating, forced sound. Hiding sobs barely underneath the surface. Aegon is used to living in the fear that blossoms in his chest- he blows it out of proportion, makes a caricature. Every single thing is awful in his life, but that’s what makes it great. It’s funny. It’s fucking hilarious. And the world will never know.

[zoroara]

For the headcanon ask game for Fran/Flan, Caladrius, and/or Lancia! Course, you can pick and choose which you'd like to answer for :D

🥇 - A headcanon about what they're best at 🍫 - A headcanon about food 💤 - A headcanon about their sleep 🏳️‍⚧️ - A gender headcanon

I hope you enjoy ^^

Oh the fool you are thinking I will pick and choose. It's Ironically easier for me to do them all than sitting there to decide. So lets get to it shall we?

Okay for Fran

The thing Fran is best at? Well other than getting on people's nerves- He's actually really good at the jobs the Varia gives him, being perfect in stealth and trickery. But instead if your were to ask him he'd instead just say he's very good at pranks. and, well he isn't wrong.

Fran isn't actually all that picky though he does tend to take his food away from the table to eat. He's used to being alone a lot of the time so when he can get away with it he takes his plate with him an eats in silence. Since a good portion of time people are distracted at least when he's over at the Varia it's one of the few times he can get some fucking quiet.

Since Fran has passive illusions that he needs to keep in check I don't think it'd be a surprise that if he's deeply dreaming or having a nightmare that things from said dream get illusioned into reality. Thankfully both groups he stays with have very strong illusionists that can correct it when this happens, but the Varia had to once deal with water up to their waists and monetary negotiations with Mammon at the same time because of it.

Next Gender! Well here's the interesting thing, I think Fran has as much gender as mammon as in like none. But he also just doesn't have any preferred pronouns, so when people say "he" he just goes "Oh guess I'm a he rn" He would likely have the same thought process if any pronoun was used to refer to him, but because most people just use he since he never said anything about it.

I'll do Lancia next just cause I want to organize Canons first and then OCs last in these asks.

We'll need to get fighting out of the way, the poor man got turned into a mind controlled weapon over it, of course that's one of the things he's best at. But in terms of non-combat he genuinely seems like he's good with people when he's finally allowed to relax and chill.

You know it's kind of hard, I imagine that because of what he was forced to do he had to learn to not be choosy when it comes to what he got, since given the circumstances (Looks at the fact his entire family is dead because of him among other things) He probably happily accepts anything given to him. He probably cried the first time he was given a home cooked meal after that time.

Probably an infamously light sleeper, probably on guard a lot and easily has nightmares about the times he's been mind controlled. He probably rarely has any good sleep since that time. Even long after it's been over.

He's definitely a dude but he is extremely gender. I don't think there's a lot going on there other than being just some guy. Got some great vibes though. good presentation.

And finally Caladrius

He's great at pattern analysis and has very quick reaction time. Which while very useful in battle he actually just uses more often to break highscores in the local mall's arcade. He and Squalo don't know it but they have a rivalry for keeping the first place spot on all the cabinets there for the same reason.

Cal really really can't stand if a food has an off flavour. It's made him extremely good at cooking because he can taste minute differences but trying to serve him anything is a nightmare. Thankfully he's very polite about it and will typically bring his own food.

Cal is an incredibly deep sleeper but has trained to wake up by the specific sound that the alarms that play at the archives. You cannot wake him up any other way. God himself could come down with a clap of thunder and it would not wake him but the moment that alarm sounds? he's out the fucking door fully dressed in seconds.

Gender! What gender! Who fucking knows Cal won't tell me. I only know he has he him pronouns. Is he a trans man? a butch Lesbian? something else? I don't know. He simply is. Does he know? Probably. But good luck getting the answer.

[the-anonymous-vent-blog]

Turning to Tumblr probably isn't the smartest way to go here, but I really have no other choice.

My friends Z and V are actively avoiding me at the minute since I'm apparently fucked up for having a crush on Vs ex. I know it's not the most favourable thing. But idk it's like one of those "they're nice so I like them, but in reality I don't actually like them crushes". But I should probably start from the beginning to give more context.

V and M (the ex) were dating when I was pulled into the friend group by Z. V and I got close, M was kinda distant but we still bonded anyway. V, Z and myself are systems V and Z are did, I'm osdd. (That's important). In the past M dating someone who faked did to cheat on him, so understandably he wasn't comfortable with Vs alters dating. V kept pushing and pushing for it where M decided to allow it to keep V quiet. 3 of my alters are in a relationship with Vs. Fast forward a few weeks and V gets suspended from VRChat for like, a false ass report, so M offers to play other games with them until they can play VRChat again. One night I wake up to hear V and M broke up. It was very messy. M recognised his faults in the relationship and is working on them currently, V however refuses to think they were in the wrong and M is to fully blame.

Back to the present day, I'm still friends with M and V. V constantly bad mouths M and M doesn't speak a word about V. V and Z are my best friends, but I was recently made to feel replaced by them, and I have been feeling extremely alone due to them. So because of that, I began to hang out with M more since he showed he cared, unlike my supposed best friends. Also, keep in mind. I was not told I had to stop being friends with him. So that's where the original point of this vent comes in. I began to match pfps on Discord with M, and V blew up at me. I was then told by one of their alters R, who is dating my alter MI that I need to consider Vs feeling more although all I've ever done is consider their feelings seeing I'm walking on cracked thin ice with them since it's their way or the highway. They are extremely narrow-minded. I would also like to add that V never once considered my feelings either. The fact that I liked M gets out, and V tells their new partner T to stop talking to me, which he doesn't. Right now, he's the reason I know that Z and V both plan to confront me. Which not to mention Z isn't so innocent either, they are two faced and toxic. I've seen it with my own eyes. Z and V are in their 20s. I'm 18. So.. fun :)

(Sorry to fill the ask box with this 😅)

😬 girlypop your life is a mess.

I hope the confrontation went well... but there is no way this ends without at least one relationship ending. Prepare for that. Personally would just break things up with Z and V, but with your alters being so close with each other that could be quite complicated... I do hope you can keep your relationships from interfering with your other relationships, but from how this sounds V might not let it be.

[ragdollsheart]

psychotic psychic did

the voices want me dead. they want me to give up all of my faiths and to stop believing in anything. they say im broken but they keep breaking me more. they say im loud but im the quietest person i know. i talk with a quiet voice and i whisper out loud. i recently think more than i talk anyway. they still keep saying that im very loud. but all i hear is other voices repeating what i think. they call me a whore and tell me to stop thinking. they want me dead. because dead is the only thing that doesn't think. they ask me what am i. they suggest im an angels 200th grand daughter. and they try to push me outside my sphere of beliefs and faith. they want me to stop thinking back to the voices i hear but they won't stop talking to me. it's a paradox and a fallacy. they don't want me. they tell me im horrible person and they tell me im making everyone else evil. they don't accept christianity but they don't accept my other beliefs about the world either. they tell me they won't let me go. and they tell me this is human hell. they insinuate a global game that im forced to be part of. they tell me im waking people up and that im the problem. as if im some broken ascension bell that no one wants to have around so they keep breaking me more, to cause more problems. instead of leaving me alone. they say they're trying to help. but help would mean they stop talking to me, because the more they talk, the better i hear them. but they keep talking. some days the talk is nonstop. they tell me to quit smoking, not because they care about me, but because they don't want me outside of my home. they try to control what grocery stores i utilize and how often. they try to isolate me from people and then they blame me for being alone.

they engage me into discussions about how much i shouldn't believe. they tell me stories and during psychosis even more so. they imagine things into my head i've never ever really thought about. wow. and im the whore of the end times. and my marriage to my husband isn't real according to them. they don't believe in my husbands existence and then they thank Satan the next day in the morning. (hello Sabrina). while they deny my husband exist they also insist my husband (angel) has left me, divorced, broken up, wants to sleep, hates me, is disgusted with me. anything i guess, just to make me feel lost, lonely and suicidal. they comment on every little thing almost, that i do, including what im taking off or putting on, if im going to the bathroom or if im taking a shower or what pimple im popping. if a Surveillance reality was real or becoming real, hell, im already used to it. lmao. they're trying to make me kill myself.

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

I was thinking of an episode idea similar to Fear Knot, but crossed with the black mercy trope. And also, not shippy? Just to keep it interesting.

Just hear me out:

A couple of the superfriends get hit by something that traps them in a nightmare world. In the scenario I was thinking of, it's Lena and Nia, because I was in my Sister, Sister feels.

Like, at first they think they're both fine, but then when they go to sleep at home, they just... don't wake up. Kara and Brainy divide and conquer to check on them the next morning, only to find their respective partners unresponsive. Later brain scans show that they're in an active dream state.

Inside the dream realm is where things get interesting. Nia almost immediately recognizes where she is, but her powers don't really work. She's taken on a tour of her greatest emotional fears: failure, loss, etc. But she conquers them all fairly quickly, and is able to transport herself back to the real world.

Except it's not the real world. It's Lena's nightmares. But where Nia's fears were all kind of abstract and existential, Lena's are far more tangible. Like being snatched off the street and pulled into a dark alley. Like brutal home invasions. Like bombs in the office. Just all these really violent real-world fears based on all the threats she's received over the years and across realities.

Nia isn't able to interact with Lena until she's pulled into one of her nightmares, with both of them trapped in a bare room flanked by guards, with Lex gazing at them like a predator regards its prey.

Lena stands in front of her, shielding Nia.

"Just let her go, Lex," Lena tries to bargain. "This is between you and me."

"Lena..." Nia grips her hand tightly. "Lena, listen to me, this isn't real--"

"I don't think so, sis. In fact, I think I'll start with her, and let you watch. As a lesson."

Before Nia can register what's happening, the guards wrench her away from Lena, thrusting her towards Lex while another pair of guards restrain Lena.

"Lex! Lex, don't, please don't do this!"

Nia ignores Lex entirely, and turns as best she can against the guard's grip to face Lena.

"Lena, this is not real. It's a dream. Remember the Phantom Zone, what Kelly said. Ground yourself. You control this, not him."

Lena doesn't seem to hear her. "Lex. Please. You have me. Let her go. Kill me."

Lex regards her for a long moment. Then he smirks. "I don't think so."

A knife flashes towards Nia, but suddenly Lena is in front of her. The knife connects with a quiet crunch, and Lena staggers, bumping into Nia before her legs collapse.

Nia catches her, stumbling to her knees under Lena's weight. Though she knows it's not real, the sight of the knife hilt deep below Lena's sternum makes her heart stutter in her chest, sending the cold fingers of fear reaching down her spine.

Is the dream world like the Matrix? Nia never thought to ask.

"Lena..." Her voice shakes. "Lena, it's okay. It's going to be okay."

Lena stares up at her with wide eyes, her breath coming quick with panic. "N-Nia... run. You have to run."

She doesn't seem to notice that Lex and his goons have disappeared, leaving them alone in a room that's slowly losing it's acuity. Darkness creeps in around its edges, the air turning hazy. Only Lena remains in sharp focus, her fear bright and tangible.

"Nia, please..."

"No." Nia's voice no longer shakes. She places her hands on either side of Lena's face, directing her friend's focus to her. "Even if this were real, I wouldn't leave."

Lena's hands clutch at Nia's shirt. Nia releases Lena's face to take one hand in hers, moving the other to rest on the crown of Lena's head.

"Listen to me. This is not real. We are in the dream world. And in this realm, you control what you see. What you feel."

The fear in Lena's eyes doesn't abate, but her focus seems to sharpen. She's finally listening.

"Listen to my voice. Feel my hands, and breathe. We can get through this... together."

Finally, Lena closes her eyes, squeezing them tightly shut. Nia feels her struggle to control her breathing. She doesn't quite succeed, but after a moment the knife disappears, leaving no wound, no blood, like it was never there.

"That's it," Nia murmurs, pulling Lena close. Lena continues to tremble in her arms, crying quietly, never releasing her grip on Nia's blouse. "It's okay... you did it. You did it, Lena. We're safe. We're get ourselves out of here, I promise..."

When they wake, Lena withdraws as soon as she's able, leaving the infirmary to escape to the balcony. Kara almost follows, but hangs back when Nia shakes her head.

"What happened in there?" the hero asks, hands itching to help.

Nia hesitates to answer. "It was... intense," she says finally. When Kara's features darken into deeper concern, she continues. "I'll check in on her. She won't be alone."

Kara nods, unhappy with not being the one to be with Lena, but satisfied that someone will be there for Lena to lean on.

Nia joins Lena in the cool night air, settling down to sit beside her with her back against the rail. She doesn't say anything, and neither does Lena. All Nia can do is take Lena's hand and give it a gentle squeeze.

When Lena's shoulder meets hers, leaning on the barest bit, Nia knows that though it may take time to get there, everything is going to be all right.

[6okuto]

Sorry if your ask box is closed but I was wondering about how you thought felix seeing mcs nightmares would go? They mentioned having them but I havent seen anyone really talking about that

note: cracks knuckles. hurt comfort my beloved i am home. i think...i think u meant like if mc and felix switched scenarios where their nightmare appeared in front of them while they watched so that's what i did! but if you meant like, them just telling felix about it,, the comfort stands :0

felix's blood runs cold while he watches himself get dragged away

he thinks it might freeze over while he watches mc, not his but another, yell and cry while they struggle to crawl on the ground

because maybe he could handle being dragged or injured—he's had his fair share of life-threatening events. but he hopes, prays, that he'll never have to hear the strangled "felix!" they scream ever again.

felix is scared. he trusts mc, the starsworn, himself, but the reality he never really wants to accept is that there's a real danger of this happening one day

he finally realizes that mc hasn't said anything about it either and turns to them. they're tense and they have a far-away look in their eyes, as if they had seen this scene all too many times

"mc, have you...how long have you been having these nightmares?" felix wishes he didn't expect their quiet response, "since we managed to escape."

he slowly reaches for their hand and his voice is much softer than usual, "are you alright?"

when they look up with tears forming in their eyes, felix doesn't hesitate to pull them into his arms. he brings their face to rest in the crook of his neck while he holds the back of their head, the other hand caressing their back.

he knows what it's like to lose someone, too suddenly and while you watched helplessly. mc helped him heal from it, and it seemed he didn't think of them now being in the same position. his heart breaks when mc mumbles against his skin, "please don't leave me."

"i'm not going to leave you, love. i promise." because he really wouldn't, never without putting up the best fight of his life

"but you—you already died, felix. and i know you've managed that before but what if one day something happens? something takes you from me like that? it was so close—" their voice breaks

he pulls away so he can look at their face and gently wipes the tears from their cheeks. they were right. they both knew that. but there was no way felix would let them be scared "it didn't take me, though. because we were together—because i had you."

"and i swear on my life and multiple deaths"—he smiles when mc lets out a small laugh—"that i won't let anything else succeed either."

he doesn't force them to say anything. he just keeps holding their face while they lean into his palm and place their own hands on top of his. mc sniffles, "that was kinda cheesy, you know?" felix only playfully pouts back, thankful that they're feeling a little better, "it was supposed to be romantic."

i'm thinking about felix asking "do you trust me?" while mc furrows their brows but nods, "of course i do."

"then trust me when i say if anything or anyone manages to separate us that i'll always find my way back to you. it doesn't matter where i go or how long it takes, i'll come back to you, mc."

there is. So Much determination (and love) in his eyes that mc knows he truly believes that and will make sure it happens

once they're back in the safety of one of their rooms he only continues his reassurances while they cuddle in bed :[

if mc wakes up from one of those nightmares again he makes sure to hold them, whispering "it's alright, i'm here. we're safe, i promise."

tags // @felixescellun @evanox @rimeliker @yelenalovegood

join the taglist if u'd like (･`◡´･)ゝ

[takamishinko]

footprints and doubts

this is the longest piece we’ve written so far and it drained the living crap out of us :,D but hope u guys enjoy !

pronouns: gender neutral 

warnings: nothing really other than jealousy, angst, and crying, self thought cheating

a/n: r/n is region name btw

________________________________________________________________

honestly you found it hard to believe that little ol’ you from r/n could befriend let alone become someone important to ajax. the great tartaglia, 11th of the fatui harbingers, his name itself could strike fear into anyone. yet here you were, standing next to him with your hands intertwined with his at the lantern rite festival. you would give the world to him if you could, you loved him so much. he was so different from your last significant other who had been unfaithful towards you. 

‘you’re just too boring.’ they had told you apathetically. you frown thinking about it.

you felt ajax gave your hand a small tug, "hey y/n why don't we go over there? looks like chef mao is cooking up something good." he spoke with a cheery grin on his face.

you snap back into reality as you felt his hand pull you out of your thoughts. you gave him a terse nod and the two of you made your way to wanmin restaurant.

after waiting a while in line, the two of you were next. chef mao looked up and practically shat himself at the sight of the male next to you. 

“hello y/n! i hope you’ve been enjoying the festival, " chef mao spoke nervously, his eyes gliding to the male next to you, “y...you too sir childe.” he sputtered out. right, ajax was the one who tried to destroy liyue not too long ago after all. you shook your head, right now you were with ajax, not childe.

"woah woah woah. calm down chef, you know that’s history now. besides, i’m just here to enjoy the festival with y/n." ajax assured, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head.

you gave the chef a slight smile and spoke,"don’t worry chef. i’m sure he doesn’t have plans other than being with me tonight." you teased. 

the chef sighed in poorly concealed relief and returned to his usual self as he took your order. ajax ordered the specialty for today, the crystal shrimp. after a small wait, the two of you waved chef mao goodbye after he gave you two your food. the warm dish let out puffs of steam and glistened under all the light of the lanterns due to it's crystal clear skin, there were 4 in total, the wrapping for each was folded into the shape of a flower. they were so pretty, you almost felt bad for eating them. 

sitting down on a nearby bench, the two of you enjoyed the crystal shrimp while making small talk. the crystal shrimps were delicious themselves but it felt better to enjoy them with someone you loved. 

after finishing the food, you and ajax had a great time. you guys played a few rounds of theatre mechanics, ruijin was pleased at how skilled the two of you were and rewarded both of you with hefty prizes. upon bumping into zhongli, the three of you decided to enjoy some tea with him. after bidding farewell to the funeral consultant, the two of you released some xiao lanterns and watched as they floated into the night sky. 

feeling a bit tired, the two of you then decided to relax and take a walk instead of participating in games. as you and your boyfriend were strolling around the harbour, something, or someone caught his gaze. you look over to where his eyes were trailing to.

oh.

a beautiful young lady dressed in a white dress with a cecilia tucked into her golden blonde hair and a puffy companion floating by her side waved at ajax. her smile brighter than the sun and her movement as graceful as the moon. her honey glazed eyes shone with familiarity and glee at the sight of him.

of course you recognized this girl. she was none other than the otherworldly traveler, lumine. she fought alongside the liyue qixing and even the adepti to defeat the great osial. the people of liyue spoke about her often, everyone knew how she had also earned the title of honorary knight in mondstadt and defeated one of the four winds despite her young age. 

you were once again brought back into reality when ajax spoke, "hey babe ill be right back okay? i wanna catch up with lumine real quick." 

you felt his hand leave yours, the warmth dissipated with it. you felt an uncomfortable feeling bubble up as you watched your boyfriend run to someone else, leaving you alone by yourself to stand in the sea of lanterns and people. 

it didn't feel right.

you stayed in place with a dejected look for a while waiting for ajax to return but he was taking a while so you decided to go check what was going on with him.

"-but then teucer decided to do it anyway!” you hear ajax’s boyish voice ring out with amusement.

as the blond and the redhead laughed together. you couldn't help but think about the two looked enchanting with each other.

you shook your head and decided to make your presence known. "ajax-" 

ajax perked up, "oh! babe sorry to keep you waiting let me introduce you. lumine this is my partner y/n!" ajax exclaimed with a cute grin.

you gave lumine a small wave and spoke with a polite smile, "it's a pleasure to meet you lumine." 

"it’s nice to meet you too y/n.” lumine replied cheerfully.

now that you’ve got a better look at the blonde, she's so much more beautiful than you could have ever imagined. 

her velvety blonde hair fell gracefully, her porcelain skin was practically glowing without a single visible blemish, her golden eyes shone with beauty that rivaled cor lapis. to wrap it up, her short stature was presented with grace and poise. all in all, everything about the blonde was nothing less than perfection.

everyone loved her and you could understand the reason behind it very well. gorgeous, kind, and righteous, the hero of every region everyone respected. you couldn’t help but wish you were like her instead of your boring self, without a vision, without any standing out achievements either…

you started to space out while the two started up a conversation again, thinking about the feelings you were currently having. why were you feeling like this?

"hey babe we should get going! it's getting late." the voice of your lover broke you out of your thinking.

you were overthinking a lot today huh. "oh. we probably should get going then." 

"bye ajax! bye y/n! it was really nice meeting you." lumine said with a pearly smile gracing her features. she then walked off to find her floating companion who was near a food stall inhaling dish after dish of food.

wait.

ajax..? he wasn’t childe or tartaglia to her, but ajax. you didn't know how to feel upon hearing the real name of your boyfriend slip out of the blonde. you knew how secretive ajax could be when it came to his family and personal life so the fact that lumine knew his real name put a feeling of unease within you.

the way home was pretty quiet, you didn't want ajax to notice that you were feeling off. you felt so guilty for having these feelings about him and lumine but you couldn’t help it. your last relationship had practically trampled on your ability to trust others, you could never tell if someone was lying to you or being truthful. you contemplated telling him how you felt but you decided against it, you’ve never been great at expressing your feelings after all. however, after a while of him blabbing about random topics, you couldn’t curb your curiosity any longer and realized you wanted to know more about your lover's relationship between him and lumine.

after a while of peaceful silence, you let out a small breath, "hey ajax?"

“yes y/n?" 

"who is lumine… to you?"

ajax perked up at the sound of the blonde's name, "lumine? she's a good friend and a formidable opponent of course. it's been a while since i’ve fought with someone who could keep up with me on the battlefield!" ajax spoke with enthusiasm.

you felt a twinge of pain shoot into your heart at the tone that your lover used when speaking about the blonde. did he speak like that when he was talking about you? 

"oh… i see. she must be a very powerful person then." you replied with feigned glee.

ajax noticed that you were in low spirits, "why? is something wrong?" he questioned with slight worry.

"no! i'm alright. i was just curious because you two seemed… close." you lied. you weren't ok, but you didn't know how to tell him. probably because you didn't even know why you felt such-

envy 

that was what you were feeling. not petty jealousy or sadness, you were envious. envious of lumine. her beauty, her strength, her personality, everything. the feeling consumed every inch of your body and dyed you green. your insecurities swallowed you up and spit you out, rendering you vulnerable against the little demons that poked at your thoughts.

when the two of you got home and freshened up, ajax practically passed out the second he lied in bed with you. on the other hand, you stayed wide awake, stuck thinking about the way lumine and ajax interacted. the smiles, the laughter, the fond looks they gave each other plagued your mind, rendering you unable to sleep. after a while of staring blankly at the ceiling, you groaned and carefully lifted the sheets to not wake your lover and got out of bed to make yourself a cup of tea. you used the tea leaves you bought from pops kai, the calming properties of the tea always helped you when you felt down. 

"they're just friends, don't overthink it, just friends, just friends." you whispered to yourself, trying to give yourself a sense of reassurance. after finishing the tea you got back into bed,  it was hard but you eventually fell asleep next to your lover.

next morning, you were woken by the sound of your boyfriend walking around in the living room doing something. it was only around 7am so you were wondering why up so early as he usually woke up at 8. you groggily walked out of the bedroom.

ajax noticed you and smiled fondly at the cute sight of you rubbing your eyes. "good morning babe, did i wake you up? sorry about that, i was just getting ready to go train."

"oh. by yourself?" somehow, you had a feeling of where this conversation was headed.

"no, with lumine, we made a deal yesterday to go to yaoguang shore today to fight some ruin guards and hunters for materials!" he chuckled.

lumine. lumine

the name echoed in your mind like a mantra. you were aware of his weekly spars with the blonde but today would be the second day he went out with her this week. a part of your heart told you to stop him, another part told you to let him go. in this internal battle, you chose the latter and let him go. after all, who were you to stop him? it's not like you could be the one to satisfy his thirst for battle, only someone like lumine could.

you were having a day off due to the lantern rite festival, but to be honest it's not like you needed the money. with the amount of money ajax had he could probably support you and your next 4 generations. with your spare day, you decided to clean up the house because it was a bit messy due to teucer playing around the day before. 

while cleaning up you found a spare xiao lantern that teucer was supposed to release when he came over. since you had spare time you decided to set another lantern yourself, it would be a waste to not use it after all. as people say, during the lantern rites, put your wish into a lantern and set it into the sky for it to become true. 

"i wish to stay with ajax, till death does us apart." 

you only hoped he felt the same way about you.

you put the note in the xiao lantern and set it off into the sky, you watched with sentiment as it floated away towards the clear blue sky.

you had a hard time focusing on the task you were doing for the rest of your day so you decided to take your mind off things and go take a look around liyue harbour to see if there was anything worth checking out, or buying. 

liyue harbour contained the usual, the fragrance of grilled tiger fish wafting from the stand next to where you would usually buy your groceries, the kids messing around near the boats, and you even met xiangling who tried to offer you her new recipe of jade parcels but you kindly refused. 

after that you went to give the adorable little pharmacist, qiqi, a visit. she was under the  cashier stand like usual, you gave her a little pat on the head and asked for the usual medicine you buy for ajax. 

you then bumped into zhongli, who was also strolling around. the two of you chattered about the festival and other shenanigans before bidding each other farewell. the amount of history about liyue and its traditions the man was familiar with would never fail to surprise you.

there wasn’t really anything left for you to do in the harbour so you started to head back home. not far away from the liuli pavilion you saw a familiar redhead talking to the owner of mingxing jewelry with a shorter figure standing beside him. 

upon closer inspection, you noticed it was ajax with someone else at a jewelry shop looking at the items. it was none other than lumine standing next to him. you watched as lumine picked out a piece of jewelry from the stand that would look so well on her. the gem glowed it’s colour under her smile and looked more fitting than ever. weren’t they supposed to be at yaoguang shore?

without second thought ajax bought the jewelry in lumines hand and put it in a gift bag with a look of tenderness. your heart dropped to the pits of your stomach, you felt as if the world was crashing down on you. your breathing quickened and your heart palpitated at alarming rates. every little insecurity that was planted in you had finally finished blooming. was this really going to happen to you a second time? was once not enough for the entertainment of the gods?

that was when he saw you, standing only a little bit away from him holding the items you purchased for him and the fresh groceries you were going to use to cook dinner for him.

ajax’s eyes widened in surprise upon seeing you, “y/n!? why are you he-” he was tense, you noticed, just like your ex-lover when they were caught.

you tried to regulate your breathing and spoke, “stop.” you managed to say, cutting off ajax before he could finish his sentence. he flinched at your dull tone.

“y/n! i know what you’re thinking but i promise we were just-” ajax hurriedly tries to explain.

“don’t. i think i've seen enough childe.” he frowned at the use of his moniker. 

your lips trembled, water collecting at the bottom of your eyes. ‘don’t cry. don’t cry, don’t cry.’ you repeated in your head, you didn’t want to appear weak in front of the two. your ajax who you loved so much, who you cared for so much, who you were planning to spend the rest of your life with, is now buying jewelry for someone else after lying to you.

“i was foolish this entire time, of course. instead of someone like me, a visionless nobody you would choose her over me. you’re just like-” your voice cracked as you forced the words out of your tightened throat. 

“y/n it’s not like that! please just let me explain!” ajax pleaded urgently. he hated that you were talking bad about yourself.

after gaining a smidge of composure you decided you couldn’t be near the two, “no need childe, i understand. now if you’ll excuse me, i'll be on my way.” you muttered and brushed past the two. 

“wait y/n!-” he reached out to grab your arm before the blonde next to him stopped him.

lumine sighed and spoke up after staying silent, “let them go for now. leave them alone for a bit, they need some time to think. it’s understandable why someone would be upset if they saw their lover with someone else like this.” she comforted before patting him on the back.

“yeah. i guess you’re right...” ajax murmured with a crestfallen look. he regretted not communicating with you, otherwise this wouldn’t have happened. he should’ve cleared up any suspicions you had and reassured you. he knew about how you weren’t confident due to your last relationship. gods, he felt like he was worse than your dirtbag of an ex.

you walked towards your home slowly trying to process what just happened. your tears already ran dry and you didn’t think more were able to escape from your eyes. the fading sunset seemed so blurry yet peaceful. somehow, instead of walking home, you ended up near yaoguang shore which happened to be the spot you and ajax would go to often. his name brought bitter feelings back as you remember the events that just happened but you took a deep breath and sat on the sand across from the shore. you listened to the sound of the ocean, the waves dousing the sand it touched. you took notice of the starconches laying on the sand. 

feelings of melancholy welled up inside you. these are ajax’s favourites. the blue shells reminded you of his eyes. his lovely eyes were the blue of the waves of the sea, they crashed into you and pulled you into them. you could spend all day swimming in the infinite hues until you drowned.

you buried your head onto your knees and let out a pained cry you’ve been holding in. here, where no one can find you, where no one can hear you. only the ocean will hear your troubles and worries, you hoped it could wash them away and you could forget about them forever. you sat there in peace by yourself for what felt like hours.

you sighed and decided that you should get going, but to where? you didn’t want to see ajax if he’s even going to be there at all. maybe you could crash at zhongli’s place…

 just as you were about to leave you heard a familiar voice behind your back. “y/n!” it was the man you loved, ajax, sprinting to you with the same gift bag he was holding in his hands at mingxing jewelry. 

you turned around to look at him. your hair was flowing in the wind with the sunset behind your back. to ajax it was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen in his life. 

“i knew you’d be here.” ajax spoke with relief.

you looked away from him not knowing how to feel right now about your “lover” and stayed silent.

“y/n. i swear it wasn’t what it looked like, i would never do that to you. lumine and i really don’t have anything going on in between us, i chose you as my partner and i plan on keeping it that way for the rest of my life. in fact,” ajax murmured while opening up the gift bag he was holding. it was a bracelet with a fine piece of noctilucous jade in the middle with cor lapis fragments decorating the border of the blue gem. the jewelry wafted with fragrances, the morning dew smell from a qingxin, the classical smell of the harbour from a silk flower and lastly the everlasting aroma of violet grass.  

“do you like it? lumine and i picked it out for you at mingxing jewelry for our upcoming anniversary. i just wanted her opinion on what to choose for you. this was one of the most beautiful pieces that they had. i heard it took a super long time to make, oh! the jade in the middle will also make the bracelet glow in the dark! pretty cool huh?” ajax smiled as he lifted your wrist to put it on you.

at a loss of words, you lifted your head up at the male and gave him a soft smile, “thank you ajax… i love it, it’s perfect in every way possible.”

“just like you.” the redhead spoke fondly with a grin on his face while softly stroking your hair.

“oh shut up you flirt.” you tried to hide your smile as you both giggled on the beach with the sunset dripping behind you two. 

after a while of being engulfed in ajax’s arms you spoke, “ajax, i want to apologize for jumping to conclusions about you and lumine. i..you know about how i find it hard to trust people sometimes but it was unfair for me to do that to you, i know you would never cheat on me.” you spoke, hugging him tighter as if he would leave if you get go. 

“y/n. don’t you dare think for a second that i’ll leave you for someone else ok? you’re the only one in this world that i want and it’s staying that way. i don’t care if you’re visionless, or if you don’t have any achievements whatsoever. i still love you so so much.” ajax exclaimed as he buried his head into the crook of your neck.

you felt a certain warmth as your face flushed. how did you end up with someone as perfect as ajax. you lifted his face with your hands and pressed your lips against his. he deepens the kiss and your heart melts.

“thank you ajax. i’ll always be by your side too, no matter what happens. my love for you has no ends.” you speak with pure affection as you nuzzled your face into ajax’s soft yet firm chest. 

ajax feels his face heat up and he quickly speaks, “c’mon now, let’s go home, i can’t wait to taste your cooking after running around all day today.”

the two of you walked together on the beach, hand in hand, leaving footprints and doubts in the sand.

________________________________________________________________

special msg from my dear editor: hey lol - @kamihara​ , my works wouldn’t be nearly as good if it weren’t for them so go give them a follow please :)!

[morganaspendragonss]

Hello 🥰 Whump fic idea :)TK lands in the hospital, again. But this time they're serious, serious injuries, he is under a respirator, he is not breathing on his own, the doctors do not give him much chance of survival, they even advise it would be the best to prepare for the worst and say goodbye, just in case. Owen calls Gwen, she's arriving the same day with Enzo and baby junior. When in the hospital they find out how it happened and that it's mostly Owen's fault (I don't know, for example, he allowed Tk to enter the unstable building to tend to the patient, or whether he made someone else angry and this person unloaded it on TK, or Owen decided to do something reckless and TK wanted to save him or it is The arson situation from 2x12 so Gwyn arrives pregnant, without a baby of course), Gwyn slaps him twice and Enzo punches him right in the nose, breaking it, for risking TK's life. Fortunately, despite the bad prognosis, TK wakes up, but after he took his sweet time being in a coma.

holly's august extravaganza day 3: the meetings for those in my wake

thanks for the prompt! i really loved writing this one though i need to confess to toning it down a little? idk but with the way it was going it didn't feel right to have enzo break owen's nose. i hope you still like it!

ao3 | 3.3k | major character injury, coma, angst with a happy ending

For years after the divorce, Gwyn came to learn that any call from Owen was almost certainly bad news.

TK got in a fight.

TK overdosed.

TK was shot, he’s in the hospital.

Over and over, until the first words out of her mouth whenever Owen’s name flashed up on her screen were, What’s wrong?

Things have been better in the three years since her time in Texas. Gwyn suspects it’s partly TK’s influence—he’s been more than enthusiastic in getting to know his baby brother, and Isaac has latched onto TK despite only seeing him in person every few months or so. But they’ve talked as well, she and Owen, and they really are doing better. They’re almost like friends now, which is why Gwyn thinks nothing of it when he calls just after she’s put Isaac to bed for the night.

“Owen, hey,” she greets. “What’s up?”

The silence she’s answered with is the first sign that something’s wrong.

The sob that follows is the second.

“Owen?” Gwyn repeats, louder this time, her heart leaping into her throat. She sits down heavily on the sofa as she waits for Owen’s response; there’s only one thing that could make him cry like that, and tears prick at Gwyn’s eyes as she imagines TK hurt again, or worse.

“Gwyn,” Owen eventually manages to gasp out, voice wrecked. “Gwyn, it’s TK. He’s… You need to get here. You need— It’s not like last time. They don’t know if he’s going to— They don’t think— It’s bad. Really bad.”

Owen breaks off, crying harder, and Gwyn claps a hand to her mouth. She remembers well how devastated he’d been when he called about the gunshot, but this a whole other level. Gwyn’s head spins with the potential implications of that and she finds her breath coming in sharp gasps, but it’s Owen’s next words that knocks it from her altogether.

“They think we should say goodbye.”

The rest of the story comes haltingly—someone got angry after his son couldn’t be saved on a call, he came to the firehouse, he attacked TK—but Gwyn barely hears it. Her boy is in the hospital again and this time…this time he might not be coming home. She can’t understand it; she spoke to him just two days ago, they made plans for he and Carlos to visit for Isaac’s birthday, and now…

“I’m so sorry, Gwyn,” Owen finishes. She feels a flash of that age-old urge to scream at him, but she fights it off, not wanting to wake Isaac.

“I’ll be on the first flight over,” she promises, then ends the call, sliding off the couch to the floor. Her phone falls from limp fingers and harsh sobs tear from her throat, muffled by the press of her fist against her mouth.

Enzo finds her there an hour later and immediately takes her in his arms, not complaining about her tears soaking his shirt. When she tells him what happened, he insists on joining her, and Gwyn allows herself to take that shred of comfort and run with it.

She thinks it’s the only comfort she’s likely to get right now.

The next flight isn’t until morning, so Gwyn spends a sleepless night packing and unpacking their suitcases and making phone calls with the firm and her clients to cancel everything for the foreseeable. She has the brief, terrible thought about whether she should pack funeral attire, which almost sends her into a panic attack as reality hits her all over again.

Enzo saves her from it, gently guiding her to bed, but not before she packs the clothes anyway.

Isaac seems to pick up on her mood when they’re hurrying out of the house, remaining mostly quiet aside from the odd question about where they’re going. He perks up considerably when he finds out they’re heading to Austin, babbling about seeing TK, and Gwyn has to blink hard to keep from crying again. Enzo reaches over to take her hand, and he barely lets go until they’re landing in Austin.

*

The entrance to the ICU looms before her, and Gwyn feels stuck. There had been a part of her, still, that had hoped to find TK miraculously awake and on the mend, like the last time she had made this trip. She doesn’t want to believe that he’s here, hurt, maybe dying.

But he is, and she’s forcefully reminded of that fact when a kind-looking nurse approaches her hesitantly.

“Ma’am? Can I help you?”

Gwyn blinks at her, her brain taking a moment to catch up. “I, um. I’m here to see my son. TK Strand.” She pauses, then shakes her head, cursing herself internally. “Tyler Kennedy Strand.”

The nurse’s entire demeanour changes, a sympathetic smile taking over her face. “This way.” She leads Gwyn through the ICU, then points at a door near the end of the corridor. “Tyler’s room is just there. I promise, we’re doing everything we can for him.”

Gwyn nods absently, her gaze stuck on the door the nurse had indicated. She walks forward slowly, the room seeming to get further and further away until, suddenly, she’s standing on the threshold, and she sees her son.

TK is barely visible, his face half-obscured by the ventilator, half by bruises, and heavy gauze covers his forehead. His arms, resting limply at his sides, are littered with scrapes, and if Gwyn squints, she can just about make out more bandages peeking out from under the hospital gown.

She’d thought that seeing him would make it all real, but she feels separate from everything somehow, only one thought going through her mind on repeat.

This is not my son.

A quiet whisper draws her attention to the figure sitting at TK’s side. Gwyn has to suppress a gasp as she takes in Carlos’s appearance; she hasn’t seen him in person since the wedding last year, and his pale face and red-rimmed eyes cut a stark contrast to that day. He hasn’t noticed her yet, wholly fixated on TK, one hand gently stroking the tufts of hair poking out above the bandage. His lips move and Gwyn knows she should walk away, but instead she finds herself leaning closer, straining to hear Carlos’s words.

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” he’s saying. “I know you’re fighting and I know you’re going to try as hard as you can to come back to us—believe me, Ty, I am praying every day to see those pretty green eyes of yours open again. But I—I want you to know that it’s okay if you can’t. If it gets too hard, if you need to let go, you can. I already miss you like crazy and I really, really, don’t want to live the rest of my life without you, but the thing I can’t stand more than that is the idea of you suffering.

“Come back if you can, but if someday you find you can’t, remember that I love you and we’ll be okay. I promise.”

Carlos sniffs and ducks his head to place a gentle, lingering kiss on TK’s cheekbone. It’s such a tender, intimate moment, but it quickly shatters when Carlos looks up and spots her, his eyes going wide. “Gwyn. I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you were there.”

She waves him off, willing herself to finally step into the room. “I’m the one who’s sorry. I should have said something, but I didn’t want to interrupt.”

Carlos nods, giving her a small, sad smile, which Gwyn does her best to return. She pulls up another chair and sinks into it, reaching out to take TK’s hand. She’s startled by the coolness of his skin, and more tears burn in the back of her eyes.

“What did the doctors say?” she asks, clearing her throat and twisting her body towards Carlos, though her eyes never leave TK.

“That it was a miracle he made it through surgery,” Carlos says, sighing wearily. “Eight stab wounds, too much blood loss, damage to his organs, broken ribs—that’s all bad enough, but they’re most worried about his brain. He took at least two blows to the head, and add that to the fact he wasn’t breathing for a good few minutes… They keep saying not to speculate, but we all know the odds here.”

Carlos’s voice breaks and Gwyn reaches out to comfort him, feeling sick to her stomach at the revelation. Why anyone would do this to her boy, she can’t comprehend; she finds herself both wanting answers and feeling unable to take any more.

Owen chooses that moment to appear in the doorway, looking every bit as wrecked as he sounded on the phone. “Gwyn,” he says roughly. “I’m glad you’re here.”

Carlos moves as if to give them privacy, but Gwyn shakes her head at him, cutting off his protests before he can even get them out. “You stay with him, Carlos,” she tells him. “We’ll talk in the hall.”

They head to a quiet spot not too far from TK’s room, and Gwyn turns to face Owen, holding her arms. “What the hell happened, Owen? Why is our son lying in there, not even breathing on his own?”

A flicker of a frown crosses Owen’s face. “I told you—”

“No, you didn’t.” Gwyn clenches her jaw, staring him down. “You said he’d been attacked, not that some maniac had used him as their personal punching bag.”

A few more seconds pass before Owen relents, sighing. “There was a call,” he starts, voice heavy with sorrow. “A car accident; dad and his kid were trapped inside. We got the dad out but the son was stuck pretty good. It took a long time to free him and by then it was too late—EMS did their best, but he was gone.

“The dad went ballistic, screaming at all of us, but especially at TK. We don’t really know why, but it was probably a convenience thing; TK had been the one to break the news, he was the closest person—the guy wasn’t exactly thinking clearly. He threatened him, tried to hit him—the cops had to arrest him eventually, but you know TK. He refused to press charges, said that the dad was just in shock and that he understood.”

Gwyn smiles a little at that; her son has always been too forgiving for his own good. It’s never come back to hurt him this badly before, though.

Owen pauses, throat bobbing as he seems to work up to the next part. His voice is quiet, and he seems reluctant to meet Gwyn’s eyes. “He showed up at the firehouse a week later—the dad, I mean. He said he wanted to apologise and, I swear, Gwyn, he really did seem genuine. None of us wanted to let him near TK, but ultimately it was TK’s decision. They went round the side of the house to talk; when neither of them came back after twenty minutes, we went looking.

“By that time, the guy was gone, and TK was…” He stops and shakes his head, swallowing hard. “He could barely breathe. Tommy and Nancy did what they could and they got him here quickly, but we have no idea how long he’d been like that before we found him.”

Gwyn’s head snaps up, a white-hot anger flashing through her. “I can’t believe you,” she hisses. “You left our son alone with a man who had already threatened him for twenty minutes, Owen.”

Owen frowns. “I told you, he seemed genuine. And TK—”

Gwyn can’t help it; she slaps him. “Don’t you dare,” she grounds out, crowding into Owen’s space. “Don’t you dare act like this was his fault.”

“I wasn’t—”

Her arm moves on instinct, but before she can connect again, a hand closes around her wrist. Gwyn turns to find Enzo staring at her, brow wrinkled in confusion.

“Gwyn, what’s going on?”

She shakes her head and takes a step back from Owen, freeing herself from Enzo’s grasp. “What’s going on,” she responds tightly, “is that he is part of the reason why my son is half-dead in there.”

Enzo gapes between them. “What?”

She ignores the question, needing to focus on anything else to keep her anger from overwhelming her. “What are you doing here anyway? Where’s Isaac?”

“He’s with Grace and Judd, they offered to babysit so I could come here. What—”

“Hang on,” Owen interrupts. “What is he doing here? I figured he’d stay in New York with the kid.”

“Isaac is TK’s brother, Owen,” Gwyn says, turning on him again. “And Enzo has just as much right to be here as any of us; he was more of a father to TK than you were sometimes.”

Owen’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. “Him? You’re joking, right?”

Gwyn isn’t sure what happens next, who starts it, but soon they’re all yelling, insults and accusations flying around the ward. There’s a furious nurse heading their way, but before she can say anything, another voice cuts through the argument, quiet and trembling but still somehow powerful.

“Get out,” Carlos says. “All of you.”

They all turn to him, Gwyn’s lips parting in shock. Owen takes a step towards him, holding his hands out in a gesture that’s probably meant to be pacifying.

“Carlos—”

“I mean it, Owen,” he snaps, harsher than Gwyn has ever heard him before. “You all screaming at each other is the last thing any of us needs, least of all TK. The only person to blame in all this is the guy who attacked him, and he’s already in custody; he’ll get what’s coming to him. If TK—” Carlos breaks off, clenching his jaw and staring down at the floor. He closes his eyes for a moment, before breathing out shakily and looking back up at them. “If anything changes, I’ll call you, I promise. But you can’t be here right now. Go, please.”

Carlos doesn’t wait for a response before turning on his heel and going back into TK’s room, reassuming his position next to the bed. Gwyn watches him for a second, nodding when Enzo pointedly takes her elbow.

“He’s right,” she says, directed at Owen. “We should go.”

Owen glares, gearing up to argue again, but he must think better of it as he suddenly slumps, all the energy draining out of him. “Right,” he mutters. “Right.”

They file slowly out of the ICU, closely watched by the hard eyes of the nurse from before. Gwyn spares one last look before forcing herself forwards; if getting here was hard, walking away is a thousand times worse.

*

Three weeks pass with no change and, crucially, no improvement. Gwyn spends more time with Carlos than she ever has before, and she hates that it’s her son being comatose that has brought the two of them closer. A tentative peace exists between her and Owen and she knows—truly, she knows—that the attack wasn’t his fault, that there was nothing that could have stopped it.

But she can’t help but be angry that, once again, her son was seriously hurt and she wasn’t around.

She takes Isaac to see TK once, when the worst of the bruises have faded a little. She worries that he’ll be scared, and he does seem to hesitate when they reach the room; in truth, Gwyn hadn’t wanted to bring him at all, but he’d kept asking about TK and she’d found herself helpless to do anything but acquiesce.

They still haven’t told him what’s going on. No-one knows how to. All Isaac knows is that TK is a little hurt and he needs rest, and even that knowledge seems to upset him.

Once he gets used to the sight, Isaac stretches his hands out to the bed. “TK,” he says simply, looking pleadingly up at Gwyn.

She hugs him close, trying to smile for him. “TK’s asleep, sweetie,” she explains. “He needs rest.”

“When wake up?”

“I don’t know, baby. I don’t know.”

*

Three weeks pass, and the doctors start talking about options and next steps. It’s obvious what that’s code for—they want to pull the plug. They’re told to take all the time they need to discuss it but, ultimately, the decision will be Carlos’s, as TK’s husband and next of kin.

Gwyn knows what choice he’s going to make; it’s the same one she, or anyone else in his position, would make.

That doesn’t make it any easier to bear, for any of them.

Gwyn finds him in the hallway, bent over with his head in his hands. She goes over and quietly sits in the chair next to him, placing a comforting hand on his back.

There’s a long silence before Carlos sniffs and turns to her, his face the picture of devastation. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this, Gwyn,” he whispers, voice cracking. “How am I supposed to just give up on him like that?”

She shakes her head. “You’re not giving up on him, Carlos. You’re letting him go.”

“I don’t know how to do that either.”

“None of us do.”

Silence again, but this time, it’s Gwyn that breaks it first. “Listen, Carlos, I know this is hard. God knows I wish none of us were even here. But we are, and we have to do what’s best for everyone, including TK.”

“I know that,” Carlos admits. “I just don’t want to lose him.” He closes his eyes and leans into Gwyn, allowing her to wrap him in a hug. “I wish we had more time.”

Gwyn’s heart breaks all over again, and she squeezes his shaking shoulders. “We’ve got time,” she says, though she knows that’s not what he meant. “As much as you need.”

The sob she’s answered with tells her there’s not enough time in the world for Carlos to say goodbye to TK.

*

The call comes in the middle of the night. Dread pools in Gwyn’s gut as she accepts it and lifts the phone to her ear, her hands trembling.

“Owen?”

“Gwyn. TK, he—he woke up. It was only for a few seconds, but he woke up, Gwyn. The doctors said it was a miracle; they think he might actually recover.”

Gwyn gasps, a sob crawling up her throat as the news sinks in. It’s everything she’s been praying for ever since that first call, and all she can think about now is getting to TK.

“I’ll be at the hospital in fifteen,” she says. She ends the calls and raises her hands to her face, wiping away the tears beginning to fall from her eyes.

Maybe this nightmare is finally coming to an end.

*

TK is off getting tests when Gwyn arrives, but she’s finally allowed back in the room an hour later, Carlos and Owen on her heels. The ventilator has been removed, replaced by a nasal cannula, and his eyes are open—barely to slits, but Gwyn doesn’t care. TK is awake and alive, and that’s all that matters.

As soon as she’s in the chair by the bed, she reaches out for him, her touch feather-light as she strokes his cheek. “My brave boy,” she whispers wetly. “My brave, brave boy.”

TK’s head rolls on the pillow so he’s facing her and he mumbles something that’s probably meant to be a greeting, but the words jumble together and come out as gibberish.

Gwyn thinks it’s the most beautiful sound she’s ever heard.

They’ve all been briefed about the risks of brain damage and all the potential lasting consequences which could impact the rest of TK’s life. But right now, as she holds TK’s hand with Carlos on his other side and Owen at her back, Gwyn chooses to take solace in the constant rise and fall of TK’s chest and the heart monitor beeping out a steady rhythm.

There’ll be enough time for worry later; for now, her son is alive, and Gwyn can’t think of anything else that's more important.

[aphrodite-would-be-proud]

🕯Anon said : Can I request headcanons with a Modern Au Teacher!Erwin and his s/o is a slightly famous artist like a painter that’s always in the basement. Maybe have a moment where the art teacher begs him to bring them to the school when they find out who Erwin is with. ? 🕯

Teacher!Erwin brings you, a famous painter, to work.

{ Erwin x Reader | tw:none | fluff, suggestive kiss | modern }

{ "Leisurely Sunday in the Villa Comunale in Naples" 1993 by Francesco Tammaro Born in 1939 }

Grassy fields surrounded the old big building as the trees undressing of their leaves onto the sidewalks, currently being swept away by the janitor.

Students were filling the halls, the sound of chatter and laughter following after. Outside in the yard, the whistle of the gym teacher could be heard following by heavy footsteps as the football team started their morning practice. Not long after the bell rang, the halls were empty again only for some crumbled papers and snack covers left behind.

"Pigs, all of them. There's a trashcan right there." Levi scrunched his nose at the smell of axe spray and deodorant near the trophy cases. "Tell Miche to spray his running monkeys with soap every once in a while."

"Now now, what got you so grumpy this early in the morning?" Adjusting the lab coat on their suit, Hange replied. "Oh cut the kids some slack, their big game is coming soon or something."

"And he's been implenting a more strick hygiene policy." Said Erwin, holding a plastic binder with a stack of exam papers, mostly marked red. "He's trying to convince the principal to ban deodorant during practice because it's making his nose burn."

Huffing in response, Levi crossed his arms. "Yeah because the principle will definitely listen to him after that whole sniffing people scandal- Hey! Brats, don't you have classes"

As Levi went to scold the two students currently hanging a handmade poster for the upcoming game on the wall, a couple of students came up to Hange, looking in a hurry as they explained the Science lab was locked and they're getting tired of sitting on their backpacks outside.

Soon after, Erwin too made his way to class.

Upon entering the room, the talking quieted down as the squeaking sound of people going back to their own desks followed. Walking upfront, Erwin dropped the binder on his desk beside the empty mug, a couple of groans filled the room as the students realised what it was.

"Mr.Smith, didn't we just take the test yesterday? Shouldn't you like...I don't know double check or something? Maybe you rushed grading them?" One student called from the back as some chuckles and agreement followed from the rest.

Taking the stacks of papers out, Erwin made his way between the students, giving each on their graded paper. "I don't know Connie, maybe you should've double checked your answers instead?"

The playful atmosphere of the classroom was cut short as the door slammed open, making everyone freeze in their seats, none other than the art teacher walked in.

Nile Dawk, current art teacher who fails at least a quarter of his class each year. Who has oh just the most swell relationship with Erwin and anyone can tell you that.

You see, Erwin adored art, both the classic and the modern. Nile admired history and knew just how each art era had its link to a historical event.

And the pair couldn't stand each other.

Crossing his arms, Nile said "Erwin, you have explaining to do." Before dropping a newly printed magazine onto his desk, 

Its cover, showing a brand new art museum that just finished construction and is hosting a lot of different paintings from unrecognised underground talents. 

"Nile, I think you misunderstand. I teach history, I'm not an architect." He said raising an eyebrow, before tilting his head as if he's deep in thought, "or do you want me to explain what a museum is?"

Sneering at his remark, Nile flipped through the pages till he reached a certain one. It depicted a one of the paintings that will be displayed in the museum, a portrait of a blond man with broad shoulders and sharp blue eyes seemingly distracted from reality by the book in his hand.

The soft glow of the fireplace next to the red armchair he sat in, adding a certain orange hue to his light complexion. His long fingers holding the leather book as a glass-stained maroon vase sat on the small table behind him, containing a single red rose.

It's clear from the details poured into his eyes and the shading for each strand of his hair that whoever made this painting, held a great affection for the man.

"Now Mr.history teacher, care to explain why your face is on this painting? By one of the few promising artists of this useless generation?."

Hushed murmurs filled the classroom as students took out their phones googling the name y/n, showing each other the said painting while staring with wide eyes at Erwin.

Rubbing his temple with his fingers, Erwin frowned at the scene the other was causing. Knowing very well it won't take long for this fire to spread, he decided to add more fuel to the flames.

He took a long breath, before telling the class to quiet down with a stern expression. 

"Mr.Dawk, are you really asking me why y/n, my love, the person I'm married to, paint me?" He said facing the other, looking directly into his eyes. "Maybe you should ask y/n instead if you're so insisting on forcing yourself in my private life."

Narrowing his eyes, Nile snorted. "You know what Erwin? Maybe I should.

And that's the story Erwin told you while having dinner that day.

He looks at you with pleading eyes as if to silently apologise for dragging you into this mess, his plate still half full and drink untouched.

Please reassure him that it's alright, you don't mind taking a day off to visit his work

He'll reach out to gently squeeze your hand in his, whispering a small thank you as his thumb rubs against your skin.

He also says he'll do the dishes that day, you can go rest and he will join you in bed after a while, a relieved smile on his face.

The next day, as he wakes up early like usual. He makes sure to wake you up with a kiss, stroking your face before murmuring "good morning" against your lips. 

He knows because of your work you don't wake up early, so he's really patient and understanding if you happen to get grumpy for a while.

Handing you a warm drink to help wake you up, he'll make sure you eat something before changing and heading out.

You're not surprised to find him already done and dressed himself.

Hair as perfect as usual.

On the drive to school, you'll feel the cool morning air against your skin while your head leans back into the seat, eyes fluttering shut.

You can have your mini nap, Erwin will make sure to wake you up when you arrive.

When arriving, he made sure to open the car door for you. The fresh air and green scenery surrounded you both.

When arriving at the teacher's lounge, you're almost surprised to see two people already there from how early it was.

The first was sitting on the old black couch near the window, his dirty blond bangs covering his eyes. The second you could see making tea on the other side of the room Where the kitchenware was.

Both of them glanced up when Erwin called their name, staring at the way he had an arm wrapped around your waist while introducing you.

It was Miche who came first, standing from the couch you noticed just how tall he was. Offering your hand for him to shake, only for him to pull you into a tight hug instead.

He pulled away, tapping his nose before a smile slowly formed on his face, nodding in approval

The second was Levi, who ignored your offered hand only to sip on his teacup, assessing you up and down.

Not too long after, a person with a messy ponytail and a colorful lab coat arrived.

They took one glance at you, then the matching wedding rings on yours and Erwins fingers before taking an immediate interest in you.

Hange asked questions faster than you can answer them, with sparkling eyes and a wide smile.

At the first sign of you being uncomfortable, it was Levi who stepped in to tell Hange to tone it down before apologizing to you.

And it was Miche who got you some snacks from the teacher's secret stash after.

You've heard stories and one sided phone calls about them from Erwin, yet it still didn't prepare you for actually meeting them.

While overwhelming at first, the more time you spent talking as Erwin reassuringly sat beside you, you noticed how genuinely interested they were.

Levi, while seemingly cold, was actually the most considerate and paid the most attention to you. He'd step in whenever things got too much and would be really polite despite having a colourful language. By the end of it he even made you some tea, something that seemed to surprise Erwin and the rest.

"It's just...he never trusted someone this quickly before."

Hange was genuinely interested in you, having researched you and your art beforehand. They really were eager to hear even the most boring details and were capable of understanding your way of thinking. They even gave you a small rubber frog they carried around in their pocket to hand out. It would've been cute wasn't for the fact immediately after they mentioned the real human skeleton they have pinned to the lab door.

"His name is bean! I've been actually investing into getting him a human heart for Valentine's day, but all the ones I've found so far were in jars."

The most quiet of them was actually Miche, although he'd smile at you whenever you looked his way. Despite his intimidating size you learned how harmless and easy going he is, the most chill out of the three. He did mention knowing Erwin for the longest time out of them, having been childhood friends even. He promised to tell you all the embarrassing secrets Erwin tried to erase from existence as he added his number on your phone.

"He ain't as proper as he looks, I got the dirt on him."

You saw Erwin's jaw tightening before he changed the subject quickly, giving the side eye to Miche who only smiled back.

The rest of the day went by smoothly, Erwin didn't leave your side for one minute and made sure to check on you constantly. 

He introduced you to the rest of the teachers and seemed only amused at any teasing he got from students passing by.

By the end of the day, as the sun began to set and the students already done with their clubs, you and Erwin had one final place to go.

The art classroom.

"Just one more thing before that" he told you, guiding you into an empty classroom.

You saw his desk, the mug you gifted him on father's day as a joke sat on his desk, several paper sketches you made were framed next to it.

It was his classroom, with only you and him, the door open.

He closed it.

You stood against his desk as he moved closer, arms circling you, not breaking eye contact.

"May I?" He whispered, licking his own lips.

As he got your permission, he pressed his lips against yours, arm stroking your back before pulling away after some seconds.

He rubbed your swollen bottom lip with his thumb, a small smile on his face before pulling away.

Your heart was still fluttering against your chest as you left the classroom, while Erwin seemed to be smiling at nothing with a slight curl to his lips, steps more lighter than before.

Right after that he took you to the art classroom. The smell of oil paint and sound of brushes scratching against paper filling the air.

Stepping inside, the scratching sound stopped as a certain black haired man stared at you, eyes wide and lips parted.

Disbelief clear in his face, Nile was quick to mask his emotions as he noticed the smugness Erwin was in.

"Nile, I'd like to introduce you to my lovely darling, y/n." There was a chipper to Erwin's voice as he leaned in to kiss your cheek.