#Okay maybe this is not a healthy goal for what romance should be like

[merakiui]

How do you think Riddle would get into a friends with benefits relationship? Also, how would a relationship with him like that work anyway? Would it be something everyone’s aware of yet refuses to acknowledge? Would his dorm have more respect for you for calming the his tiny tyrant? I feel like ironically he would be a lot calmer around you and it would be a healthy start of a relationship for you two. But I’d like to hear your thoughts please.

I like to imagine Riddle was raised with the idea that you should only date for marriage and that marriage must always be the end goal in a relationship. No such thing as loveless "friends with benefits" or flimsy "situationships." Very traditional ideals ingrained in his head, courtesy of Mama Rosehearts. >_< so it's baffling to him when he's at NRC and learns about all kinds of different relationships. Hook-ups, fwb, complicated situationships, rebounds... there's just so much to keep track of and it's all so new.

Maybe it starts from a drunken mishap. Of course there's going to be alcohol at college parties, whether on campus or off campus. Maybe it's Deuce who mixes up the drinks and hands Riddle something alcoholic, or maybe Riddle himself decides he'll have alcohol that night. Maybe the two of you share a few kisses and some wandering hands in the corridor. Or maybe the two of you regularly spent time together and one thing led to another and... :) either way, there's a physical shift in your relationship together and Riddle isn't the type to let things hang up in the air.

Perhaps it's just for stress relief and pleasure. Nothing more. And perhaps it's curiosity or chemistry or something, but it doesn't sound terrible. It's Riddle's first time in this sort of relationship, but he won't deny that what the two of you did was enjoyable, even if you were both mutually intoxicated to remember most of it. ^^;;; regardless, so long as you're comfortable and okay with this, he wouldn't mind turning this into something. He's not sure how he's meant to feel when you say everything is no commitment and that you're just friends and that all of this is just casual. Riddle is a very committed guy who is so far from casual even though he's trying his best to be more lenient with himself and everything in his life. But those words are the best ways to describe all of this. Perhaps it's why he adds "no kissing" to the list of rules because kissing is a very romantic thing to him.

He's very meticulous, so naturally he makes sure to establish clear boundaries and rules. You go over what's on the table and what's a no-go. What the expectations (or lack thereof) should be. And for the first time in his life he's echoing the complete opposite of what his mother would lecture him about. No marriage. No dating. No romance. Just sex. It's friendship, but with benefits (as the name implies).

Funnily enough, I feel like he tries to set aside time for these things, but then who pencils into their schedule when they're going to have sex??? T_T maybe it's all spontaneous and impulsive, and at first it's a huge shift from what he's used to. But it's fun. He's never experienced anything like this before and you're just so...perfect. You're everything.

You'll witness new sides to Riddle the longer you spend with him, getting to know the guy beneath all of the stringent rules. Your friendship definitely strengthens during the times you spend with him, and Riddle is trying not to expect anything. Why would you or he stick around after sex? And why should he fret over his appearance and what he wears when you decide to go into town together? It's not a date. It's not romance. It's just sex. He has to remind himself of this when the two of you wake up curled into each other. That's just...biology. The human body needs warmth when it's cold. That's just normal. Aaaaa he's falling and he's not sure he can stay strictly casual and no commitment anymore.

As for who knows,,,, definitely Trey and Cater. Riddle goes to Trey about all kinds of stuff because they're friends and Trey is a good voice of reason, and it doesn't take a genius to understand what's happening. Trey won't say it outright, but he does try to poke at the issue to gauge where Riddle stands: "Well, if you like (Name) so much, what do you have to lose?" And poor Riddle is so frazzled because everything, Trey, he could lose everything if you don't feel the same way!!!! And Cater's been knowing LOL. He probably knew the day of the party that there was a vibe. >:)

There are so many hurdles and bumps to your relationship, but I do think it's very sweet if and when you and Riddle officially become a couple. And if not,,, perhaps Heartslabyul can push the two of you together because you're just the cutest, most cammable pair on campus right now (Cater's words). <3

[blissfullyecho]

Do you have any tips on leveling up after a breakup? I'm heartbroken.... he cheated on me and is now FB/IG official with the girl today (we broke up yesterday) and it's almost like we never even dated for the few years we have. Now I want to level up BIG TIME

leveling up after a breakup where the loser broke your heart:

first and foremost, what a loser. i hate that you’re going through this because i wouldn’t even wish that on my worst enemy. but God has something better for you and maybe this had to happen so you CAN START your level up and get something much much better down the road. that’s what happened to me at least 🫶🏼

step 1: good riddance to him. it’s okay to cry and be angry, but do not be angry with yourself. don’t second guess what YOU did wrong and if YOU were the issue. he obviously has issues. delete, block, throw away anything and everything— physically and digitally that was his or was from him (unless they were nice gifts like diamonds and bags— you keep those lol). he wants to move on like you never existed? you do the same.

step 2: people either get 40% better or 40% worse after a breakup. don’t eat the tub of ice cream every night on your couch watching romance movies. make healthy decisions. treat yourself to whatever, but don’t go overboard. i did that with my ex and gained 30lbs and it made me feel more insecure.

step 3: indulge in level up content on all platforms. you may need the constant reminder to better yourself and i assume you’re on social media for the most part, so make social media work for you. this might make you feel better being reminded that you can be better than the girl he broke up/cheated on (you).

step 4: DO NOT DATE RIGHT NOW. you might feel lonely, you might want affection, i get it. we’ve all been there. but what’s going to happen is that the guys you date (if you date them too soon), will have you comparing them to the good things your ex once did. no guy is the same and you are going to feel worse because “these guys aren’t like him”. wait out on these guys for now until you are better than where you are now and i’m saying on a mental level.

step 5: re-evaluate your standards. what were the things you accepted from him that you didn’t really like but you let it slide? create a list of your “must haves” and “like to haves” for the guys you date in the future and stick to those standards.

step 6: learn to date yourself. create a list of things you’ve always wanted to do in the relationship but didn’t have the time to do it. maybe there were things you always wanted to do but you didn’t do them because he didn’t want you to. create that list and start getting to work. make yourself happy and SPOIL yourself with saying “yes” to everything you want to do.

step 7: do not stalk him or her. no checking their social media— even if it’s a year down the road. he’s in the trash bin. who cares what he’s doing. who cares what she’s doing. your standards have already increased. if you have to deactivate your socials for right now, do that. that’s what i had to do.

step 8: along with step 7, your TRUE friends and REAL family should not be giving you updates/tea on him or his life/relationship. that’s toxic and an immediate “no”.

step 9: work on yourself. find areas in your life that you want to improve on and start working on them each day. even if they are baby steps. if you continue your baby steps, eventually you’ll reach your goal.

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

Responding to this post:

No, love. Not every single character has to have a romantic partner to be interesting. It is okay for characters to end up alone. Or not have romantic experiences at all. No matter their sexuality. Aromantic and Asexual characters can exist and be a good representation of the queer community. Not only gay couples represent queer struggle.

---

Preach!

Also, I'd also like to give another facet of this idea: NOT EVERY ALLOROMANTIC/ALLOSEXUAL NEEDS TO BE IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP. People can be attracted to others but simply choose not to enter relationships because of a variety of reasons: 1) maybe they don't think they'd make a healthy partner and need to focus on their other non-romantic relationships first, 2) being in a romantic relationship isn't in their priorities/values (as opposed to career, family, etc), 3) literally any reason at all.

I hate how one of the only ways to convince a fandom not to ship a character with another is to make the character not attracted to the other's gender--- regardless of whether it's a hetero or homosexual relationship. (im not talking about casual shipping, that's fine with me. im talking about those who get irrationally angry when someone does not agree with their ship, even going as far as harassing the content creators because the ship won't happen).

Because it's possible to have a character whose personality/aspirations do not align with a future romantic relationship. And disregarding this is like disregarding their whole character??

I've seen some creators make their characters/OCs aroace purely to avoid them being shipped with another. (I HATE how that just sounded. Let me be clear that this is NOT criticism towards anyone under the aro and/or ace umbrella. Aromanticism/Asexuality is REAL and valid. This is criticism towards those who have made romantic relationships seem like "THE goal" one should aim for.)

Even making characters siblings or relatives to avoid shipping, even if being an only child/having a small family shaped who they were as a person.

this isn't me screaming at you btw this is me screaming in general. no aggression was intended with the all caps.

i hope this didn't come off as offensive. please let me know if it did.

---------- orchard

Hey! You are totally right with all your points. This is exactly what I am talking about.

Characters are given romantic arcs or stories just to make them interesting without the neccesity of them needing a partner in that particular story. No matter their sexuality. Like you said, people would choose not to be in a relationship for a various of reasons. And that is fine. What I've seen in stories or fanfics is that the character who ends up alone in the end, has a sad ending or is tragic thing to have ended alone. (The phrase: They would find their one eventually. But for now they are happy...)

Which shouldn't be true!

Also, just because a character or some characters don't have romances doesn't mean they fall under the aro / ace / aroace umbrella.

Again, characters that are headcanoned as Aromantic / Asexual or both are most of the time not interesting enough. They are not attractive enough. They are portraited as childish or cold, almost not human. These characters should be interesting enough.

If we are improving the type of queer rep was that the only arc of the gay character was that they were gay, we should improve that for aro/ace/aroace characters as well.

Another important thing you mention. It is annoying that characters are instantly shipped when they have a good relationship or chemistry, without the premise of there being anything romantic between them. I mean, people are allowed to ship whatever they want to ship (regardless if is Canon or not) but we have to practice to see friendships or platonic relationships as well. I don't want to make characters siblings, or for example make them one attracted to another gender, or clarify that they are not romantically involved for them to not be shipped. People tend to just ship whatever they can. Pair characters with characters just because.

I don't know, this is mainly amanormativity's fault. It ruins the way we prioritize relationships. (Thinking the romantic one is more important than others). Just like heteronormativity ruined homosexuality before.

Let's give friendships and queer platonic relationships the importance they deserve as well. Characters should be interesting despite their sexuality, if they get into a relationship or not, or they end up with someone or not.

And if two characters get along, they should not be instantly shipped or pretended to end together. They could have another type of relationship as well.

[jennymay]

Okay here I go. I’ve officially come to admit I don’t like my job anymore. It’s sad to realise because I was so happy when I started but things change. I am so capable. Of so many different things. This place opened my eyes and now they’re open I’m gonna leave and bite the hand that feeds me.

But instead of being massively depressed, I’m gonna change it. I’m going to stick it out at work and hope the days go faster. I want to work from home. I want to MAYBE study and get myself together. There’s a lot I need to change and my brain pushes it all forward and I have to manually swipe them away from my mind. “Nope! Not doing it” I say to myself. And then I focus on one. One thing to drive me. And right now that’s a new job. Then it will be saving money and achieving goals. Then I’ll find something else once I’m there. I have a few different things to choose from.

I need to give myself credit for the way I’ve reshaped my thinking. It sucks because no one knows. I should be happy without validation and I am happy, just wish people knew more about the silent struggling I did to get here. Like hey do you know how I’ve worked? Do you know how much I’ve nearly killed myself? And now I’m great!

But people don’t really understand anyway so there’s no point mentioning it. I’ve realised that’s something else too. I constantly believe people don’t understand. It stops me from talking especially about my feelings. It’s my own fault. I can’t assume people won’t understand. That means that I’m judging and misunderstanding them instead. But I can’t help but feel the tug inside me that stops me from talking.

I do a quick read over the person and decide “they wouldn’t really get it”. And maybe they won’t but what, should I not talk to anyone ever? I also feel healthy about romance.

I don’t really want it but I do. But I want it naturally. I don’t really want to look for it even though you’re “supposed” to. That’s in quotations because I’m not sure if that’s true or not. I’ll find out if it’s true eventually.

I can’t use apps it’s too difficult. It sucks because I’m a great texter but I think it’s only if I know you. Or I have something to be interested in. I’m just supposed to force interest so I can have an orgasm? No thanks. Everything can find me itself or I won’t bother. It’s not mandatory or crucial.

I’m obsessed with being by myself. I enjoy it. I genuinely enjoy it. I like going into malls by myself and shopping for things by myself. I like doing errands alone and listentinf to an artist I’ve never heard and deciding if I like it or not. It’s fun being a person and making decision based on your preferences. And maybe I feel better doing that alone.

[aphrostarot]

Confronting Past Life Pick a Pile

What wounds do you carry from a past life and how can you begin to mend your soul?

Please remember that this is a general reading and some things may not apply to you. Don't force it to fit. I offer paid readings on my page if you would like a personal reading. Prices are listed there. Please message me or email me if you are interested!

Pile One (Sodalite):

Who were you in a relevant past life?

Queen of Pentacles:

You were a very sensual and loving person in a past life. Over the course of your life, you were an extremely hard worker and accumulated great success. Having enough money enabled you to surround yourself with the things you loved, including nature and animals. The people in your life knew they could count on you to help them when they needed it, especially when it came to financial support.

What is something unresolved from that life?

Three of Pentacles:

In this lifetime you may have been a celebrity, and as a result of your success, you were the subject of jealousy from many people. These people tried spreading lies about the way you earned your success. Since they wanted what you had and saw how humble you were, they hated you for it, so they made up rumors about you as a result. You really tried to spread love rather than hate, especially when it came to these people. You thought you could teach people to be nice and not to be hateful. You tried to achieve this with all your might, but it was not possible, unfortunately.

You may have been an earth sign, Virgo, Taurus, or Capricorn, in your past life or in this life.

You could also have an Aquarius North Node.

How does it affect you in this life?

Five of Pentacles:

You really struggle in this lifetime to accumulate success and wealth. Despite your efforts, you still struggle to make enough money to support yourself and those you love. Success does not come as easily to you in this lifetime.

Why do you need to complete that unresolved issue?

Strength:

With your current struggles, you also have trouble having the strength to deal with the issues. You are capable of getting through the difficulties you are facing, but you lack the confidence in yourself to do so. This issue of a lack of confidence must be resolved so that you can channel your inner strength to begin accumulating more wealth and success.

How can you complete that unresolved issue?

Justice:

For some, you may feel you need to cheat the system to get what you desire. The appearance of this card alerts you to the fact that you shouldn't go forward with that. To resolve the issues you are facing, you need to be fair. In addition, you should not second-guess your success. To me, it feels as though all the negativity you couldn't overcome in the past life is affecting you now, making you feel unworthy of success, or incapable of being successful. Do not fall into the trap of not believing in yourself. It is essential that you let go of your fears if you are to overcome these challenges.

What is an important lesson you need to fully understand?

King of Wands:

The lack of confidence prevents you from pursuing your desires, and as a consequence, you lack the drive and passion to do so. The lesson you need to learn is that you need passion and drive to succeed. Your success in your past life was easy and you didn't have to work hard for it, but in this lifetime you must learn to work hard for what you want.

What is an energy/characteristic that you should channel from that life?

The Devil:

In your current life, you need to tap into the strong-willed nature you had in your past life. You never let anything bring you down in the past and you struggle to do this in this current life. Your strong-willed nature will help you overcome your struggles of accumulating success and allow you to become confident in yourself.

Channeled Messages from Guides:

“You are our answered prayer.”

“Magic exists in the form of energy. What is your energy creating today? How does it make you feel?”

Letters:

R

X

I

E

Q

Blank - whatever you feel fits.

Pile Two (Green Aventurine Moon):

Who were you in a relevant past life?

Seven of Wands:

You were very altruistic in this past life. Fighting against oppression. You stood your ground and were an ally to people who needed someone on their side. You were very courageous and determined in your convictions. It seems to me that you took part in many protests. Perhaps you formed groups that fought for people who were being mistreated.

What is something unresolved from that life?

Ten of Wands:

In your past life, you worked very hard to achieve your goal, but it seems like you never succeeded. Your hard work did not pay off in that lifetime. Many of you may have given up when nothing seemed to be happening and your work was ineffective.

How does it affect you in this life?

King of Wands:

There was so much passion in that past life, but all your hard work didn't pay off. Therefore, in this lifetime, you carry that sadness of not achieving what you set your heart on. Since your soul still hasn't healed from your past wounds, you lack the passion to pursue your desires. This wound also leaves you lacking confidence in pursuing your goals.

It's possible that you were a Fire sign in that life or this life, Aries, Leo, or Sagittarius.

Why do you need to complete that unresolved issue?

Ten of Swords:

This soul wound is causing a great deal of destruction in your life. You lack the confidence and passion to pursue your desires, and this affects all areas of your life, including romance, career, school, and health. It seems that every time you try to follow your dreams, you self-sabotage, and things crumble around you, leaving you wondering why you did that. This is your soul wound that still needs to be healed.

How can you complete that unresolved issue?

Knight of Wands:

Find your passion and enthusiasm in this life. Seek out activities that bring out your more enthusiastic side. Bring passion back into your life by discovering new things.

Six of Cups:

Additionally, you could try doing things you were passionate about in your past life. Maybe you should join a group that works to combat oppression. Make your voice heard and stand up for what you believe in.

What is an important lesson you need to fully understand?

The Magician:

Willpower is the key to The Magician's success. They set their intentions and then follow through on them. This is your lesson for this lifetime. You need to start setting and achieving goals. Do not give up like you did in the past.

What is an energy/characteristic that you should channel from that life?

King of Pentacles:

It is the King of Pentacles who pursues their goals until the very end. They do not worry about losing out on anything, as they are very confident and secure within themselves. This is how you were in the past, and this is what you need to channel in this life in order to heal.

Channeled Messages from Guides:

“Take charge of your schedule during this busy time and honestly assess your underlying reasons for being busy.”

“Times of heightened emotions and sensitivity call for extra self-care and gentleness.”

Letters:

I

I

A

K

V

E

Pile Three (Rose Quartz):

Who were you in a relevant past life?

The Devil (reversed):

In a past life, you struggled with addictions, and most of your life was devoted to freeing yourself from those addictions. For most of your life, you were becoming self-aware, understanding your purpose and how you can be healthy.

The Moon (reversed):

You felt pretty unhappy in your past life too, feeling very anxious. It was this that pushed you to break free from addictions and fears, along with your negativity.

What is something unresolved from that life?

The World (reversed):

In your pursuit to be free of these things, it seems that you didn't fully succeed. Though you were successful in letting go of those addictions and fears, you still struggled to feel complete and happy. The whole focus of your life seemed to be on becoming healthy, and once you reached your goal, you didn't know what to do with your life. You had no clue what your passions were, and what made you happy.

How does it affect you in this life?

Eight of Pentacles:

The drive and passion you need to excel at your career or hobbies are lacking in this lifetime. You really struggle to maintain a job or hobby long enough to become good at it. Because of your soul wounds, you have difficulty sticking with one thing for a long period of time.

Why do you need to complete that unresolved issue?

The Lovers:

You are really struggling to fall in love not only with others and things but also with yourself because of this wound. Due to your fear of commitment, you struggle to maintain one thing in your life, so you don't really know what makes you happy. You don't know how to love yourself. You need to heal from this wound in order to begin to love yourself and others.

How can you complete that unresolved issue?

Four of Swords:

You need to slow down and rest. Stop jumping from one thing to another. Put an end to not letting yourself get comfortable. It is okay to devote a lot of time and energy to one passion. It doesn't mean you're missing out on life, as long as it makes you happy. You need rest to heal.

What is an important lesson you need to fully understand?

The Empress:

In this lifetime you need to understand that by not staying in place for a long period of time you are running from your growth. Also, what you're running from is your abundant future. If you genuinely want to feel happy and secure in your life, you must learn to stick with one thing and stick with it until the very end. Your life will be filled with abundance if you do this.

What is an energy/characteristic that you should channel from that life?

Queen of Pentacles:

The Queen of Pentacles is very loving and warm. Their hard work has made them very successful in life. In your past life, you stuck with your journey of being healthy and free from negativity. You need to channel that hard work and warmth in this lifetime. This is what will help you.

Channeled Messages from Guides:

“Are you ready? Are you sure? There is no turning back now.”

“Unlock the magick within.”

Letters:

H

E

T

O

E

O

Pile Four (Goldstone Star):

Who were you in a relevant past life?

Knight of Swords:

You were very socially adept in your past life. It was your quick wit and charm that really attracted others to you. Your lack of humility was made worse by your inflated sense of self-importance, which also gave you the ability to lead well. Despite your lack of patience, your aggressive side made you successful.

What is something unresolved from that life?

Ten of Wands:

Your life's goal was to be in a position of power because you knew you would be a great leader. However, you never reached your goal. Although you came close to achieving your end goal, you fell short. Some of you may have been in politics.

How does it affect you in this life?

The Hanged Man:

Every time you feel as though you are doing well, it seems as though you have to make some sacrifices to keep that success, and these sacrifices are either too difficult to make or they never work. Therefore, you are unable to achieve success.

Ten of Swords:

It seems impossible for you to achieve success as well as a leadership position in this lifetime. It seems that nothing you do pays off and life constantly throws disaster after disaster your way. It seems that everything comes tumbling down whenever you start feeling good about your situation.

Why do you need to complete that unresolved issue?

Knight of Cups:

You struggle to remain optimistic in life as a result of all the negative experiences you have had. Romance and charm don't seem like a part of your nature, you don't have the time or energy for them. You have dealt with disaster after disaster and have no energy or desire to be a romantic, optimistic person.

How can you complete that unresolved issue?

Two of Cups:

Allow yourself to be romanced. You've been running away from this part of yourself for a long time now because you don't want to get your hopes up. You can heal yourself by being romantic with yourself and allowing others to romance you. You need to fall in love and experience true love in order to heal the wounds from your past life.

What is an important lesson you need to fully understand?

Five of Swords:

You have felt defeated almost all of your life in this lifetime and do not understand why you are being treated unfairly. As part of your lessons for this lifetime, you are to feel defeated and let that defeat direct you towards success because you never allowed that to happen in your past life. In the past, you gave up when faced with defeat, but in this lifetime you must persevere.

Ace of Cups:

Because you considered pure love to be beneath you in your previous life, you never experienced it. Your pursuit of success drove you. This life lesson is about learning to love innocently and purely. Do not run away from those emotions, but rather let them wash over you.

What is an energy/characteristic that you should channel from that life?

Queen of Swords:

Naturally, the Queen of Swords is a quick thinker and pretty smart. Every situation they encounter is viewed lucidly by them. In the past, you were like this, and this is how you should be now. Your success in this life will be further enhanced if you channel this energy.

Channeled Messages from Guides:

“Abundance, love, and wealth are coming your way.”

“The worse is now behind you and you are surmounting any previous challenges.”

Letters:

L

E

R

U

N

I

Though tips are not required, they are very much appreciated. Thank you! Venmo: @ aphrostarot Paypal: paypal/aphrostarot

[whereisten]

I Think We’re Alone Now

A Jaemin fic that’s part of our Halloween Series! 

Summary: Your Spring Break plans change at the last minute when the campus heartthrob asks you to join him and the popular kids to your nemesis’ cabin. 

Pairing: college student! Jaemin x female reader 

Genre: romance, angst, mystery, suspense, horror, crime

Word Count: 7.4k 

Warnings: Bullying, body image mention, gore, violence, death

(A/N): SHOUTOUT TO MY GIRL KRYS FOR THIS DELICIOUS MOODBOARD. SHE IS AN AMAZING ARTISTE. I AM IN AWE. I hope my story does this moodboard justice and I hope you guys enjoy! Thank you for the support! 

___

Spring Break was imminent for the kids of Guang University. It was your freshman year and your friends all had different plans. You planned to stay home and get a head start on your homework and catch up on all of your favorite Korean dramas.

You headed out of the school with Haechan, your best friend. He had plans to go visit his family in South Korea for a couple of days. You were bummed that your closest friend wouldn’t be in town for the break.

“You sure you don’t want to come to Seoul with me? We might bump into Ji Chang Wook. You never know.” Ji Chang Wook was your celebrity crush.

You balanced your giant biology textbook while you tried to find your phone. “That’s tempting but I have a big exam right after break and I’ve been behind for weeks...So now I have to cram.”

Haechan sighed. “Y/n, you need to give yourself some down time.”

You frowned. “What are you talking about?”

Haechan sighed. “You haven’t come out to any parties in the past two months.”

You sighed. “Well...”

Haechan whined. “You’re supposed to be my party buddy...”

“Well, party buddy, then explain Daniela, Hazel, and Ally,” you said, calling out your best friend for not being so lonely at these parties after all.

“I-“ Haechan started.

Before Haechan could explain, a group of girls you’d tried so hard to avoid walked by and “accidentally” bumped into you, making you drop your book to the ground.

The girl who bumped into you turned and laughed. “I’m SO sorry. Maybe if you didn’t take up so much space, it wouldn’t have happened.”

The other girls laughed as they began to saunter off.

You groaned. You thought bullies retired once they graduated from high school when reality finally gave them a slap to the face.

Well, unfortunately for you, the mean girls from your old high school were smart enough to get into your dream school so you now occasionally saw them. And worse, shared a biology lab with them. The head of the pack, Heather, always had it out for you for always beating her for the best grade in class. You’d get a 94 and she’d get a 93. You were just happy to get an A and she was furious she wasn’t number 1. You guessed it had to do with her superiority complex and how she had to please her wealthy parents.

Haechan yelled, “Heather, what the hell-“

Heather started, “What? It’s a simple observation.”

Well, not everyone could be a size 0 like Heather. You knew that you had a healthy body shape. Sure, you know you could use improvements but you were human. No one was perfect. Nothing Heather could say could make you think she was right. She was just a hater.

“Have a nice break, Heather. Maybe your dad will finally come home,” you said as you grabbed Haechan’s hand and walked off.

“Hey! y/n, get back here!” Heather demanded. Her dad and her mom were separated for a while now and he was never home to spend time with his precious daughter.

Heather’s bark had always been bigger than her bite. So you didn’t let her words get to you. Not anymore.

___

Haechan went home while you waited to call an Uber to take you to the record store across town.  You may as well go out and do one fun thing before you hunkered down at home for the break.

That was when you heard someone sobbing hard. And you couldn’t help but find the source.

The boy sat down on a bench by the bus stop. It was the campus heartthrob, Na Jaemin. You’d shared a couple of lectures with him this year. He was very sweet, always had something to compliment you on. Your hair, your lipstick, your outfit.

Well, then he would proceed to ask for help with assignments but you appreciated getting paid with flattery.

You frowned. “A-are you okay?” You started. “Do you need help?”

Jaemin looked up as tears ran down his beautifully sculpted face. His eyes widened at the sight of you. He wiped his tears away with his jacket sleeve. He shook his head. “Y/n! Hey, I’m…okay…I just-“

You sat down beside him and pulled an unopened bottle of water out of your backpack. You handed it to him. “Here.”

He looked down at it and asked, “Are you sure?”

You nodded. “Go ahead.”

“Thank you,” he said, managing a half-smile.

He drank from it as you waited.

He exhaled in satisfaction. “Thank you, y/n. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you like this. School and work have been so stressful…I just needed to let it all out.”

You hesitated before you put a hand on his back. You moved it gently against his muscular upper back. “I’m sorry…Do you…wanna talk about it?”

Jaemin froze and debated telling you. “I got fired from my job…” He admitted.

You removed your hand from his back. “Jaemin, that’s terrible…I’m so sorry…What happened?”

He shook his head. “The boss was kinda harsh. I couldn’t take it. I slipped up once and I got the ax.”

You tried to meet his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Jaemin.”

Jaemin managed a smile for you. “Thank you, y/n. You’re always sweet. Always good. I’m glad you’re here with me.” He placed a hand over yours.

This may or may not have made you want to scream with excitement. But your better judgment told you to contain yourself because Jaemin was upset.

Your little moment was interrupted by Heather and her cohorts.

Heather stood in front of Jaemin, noticing his red eyes “Oh, Nana, what’s wrong?”

Jaemin didn’t look all that thrilled to see Heather either. “It’s nothing…Don’t worry about it.”

“Because if y/n is bothering you, she should leave. Isn’t that right, y/n?” Heather turned to you with her hands on her hips.

You were about to snap when Jaemin beat you to it. “Actually, Heather, she’s not. So what can I do for you so you can leave faster?”

Heather looked at her group in shock. Her minions all let out audible gasps and whispers. “Jaemin...”

“I’m waiting,” Jaemin said, a new commanding tone overtaking him.

“We wanted to know if you’re coming to my cabin this weekend.” She tried to come off flirtatious but after his rebuff, she was confused.

“Maybe,” Jaemin replied, “If y/n comes.”

“What?” You and Heather exclaimed.

“I’ll go if y/n goes,” Jaemin said resolutely.

You started, “Jaemin, I-”

Jaemin interrupted. “I need this, y/n. A time to get away. And if you come, I would love it…” He said softly, almost intimately…Like no one else was around.

You’d had a crush on Jaemin since the first day of Intro to Theater. Jaemin was a tremendous actor. He was an excellent Demetrius to your Helena in your act for A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

Jaemin was always so nice. You thought the most he would do for you is give you a dollar for the vending machine. And that would’ve made your heart soar to the moon.

It was odd that you were considering going somewhere to hang out with Heather and her friends...But you did want to get to know Jaemin more.

What about your homework?

Well, it could wait.

And what about Heather?

Well, pissing off Heather was a hobby of yours.

One of Heather’s friends coughed. And Heather rolled her eyes. “Fine. Meet at my house at 7 AM tomorrow.”

___

Your older sister Sophie drove you to Heather’s. “Why are you going to Lucifer's spawn’s cabin?”

You sighed. “Because a cute boy asked me to.”

Sophie put the car in park right in front of Heather’s mansion. She looked at you in disbelief and fascination. “A boy?”

You said, “He wanted me to come.”

Sophie laughed. “Well, y/n, he must be very cute if you’re willing to hang out with Her Royal Darkness.”

“Like her ego, I’m sure the cabin is big enough so I don’t have to see her.”

You were both so distracted that you didn’t notice Jaemin knock on your passenger side window. He smiled brightly. Wow, he looked incredible for someone who woke up and texted you good morning at 5:30 AM.

“Wow,” your sister said, in shock from Jaemin’s beauty. She rolled down your window.

“Ready to go, y/n?” Jaemin asked. You saw the expectant look in his eyes. He was radiant and much more relaxed. You were so happy to see him. He seemed to feel a lot better.

“Jaemin, this is my older sister, Sophie,” you said, “Sophie, this is my friend Jaemin.”

They shook hands and Sophie muttered, “You better tell me everything when you get back. And that I am the maid of honor at your wedding.”

“Bye, Sophie! We’ll go on our run together when I come back on Sunday, okay?” You said louder to deflect from what Jaemin could’ve overheard. You and Sophie ran together every weekend for stress relief and bonding time. You got out of the car and hoped Jaemin hadn’t heard anything.

Jaemin offered to give you a ride on his Jeep Explorer to Heather’s cabin, much to Heather’s disappointment. Heather’s friends were riding with her.

You and Jaemin had fun on the road for two hours, just the two of you. You enjoyed some old school Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, and Britney Spears. You snagged the CDs from your sister’s collection.

“Every little thing I do never seems enough for you!” You and Jaemin sang.

You too had gotten off the route to get snacks at a convenience store and because Jaemin needed to fill up his tank. He insisted you put your wallet away. He bought all of your favorite junk food essentials: M&Ms, Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, Coke, Orange Fanta. This boy knew his way into your heart.

“So, y/n, what’s your end goal in life?” He asked as he continued the route to Heather’s cabin. “You strike me as an aspiring pediatrician...Saving the children!”

You laughed at his enthusiasm. “I’d like to be a physical therapist. My parents got into a car accident when I was nine...My mom was fine but my dad broke his right leg and right arm. He needed to get physical therapy in order to walk properly again...I went with him to almost all of his appointments. I have a lot of respect for physical therapists after how much they helped him…”

“I’m glad your dad recovered,” Jaemin said as he gave you a quick smile before gluing his eyes back onto the road.

“Me, too...But...my end goal in life? Honestly, I just want my own space to dance around in...With no shame.”

Jaemin chuckled. “No shame, huh? Does that mean you’re a terrible dancer?”

You smacked him. “No. Well, I’m sure there are worse dancers.”

He laughed harder. “Okay...I believe you.”

You laughed. “What about you, Jaemin? What’s your end goal?”

He sighed. “Start up my own content-creating company...I’m into traveling and uncovering hidden gems. Be the next big thing after Buzzfeed Unsolved.”

“Those are some pretty big shoes to fill…” You started.

Jaemin sounded unsure. “Yeah…”

You smiled, “I know you can do it. You’ve got a subscriber in me.”

Jaemin faked a tear. “You have no idea how much that means to me.”

You both laughed again as you reached for the M&Ms and your hands touched. You quickly pulled away, embarrassed. But Jaemin smiled to himself.

Jaemin said, “But as cheesy as it sounds...I want to get married, get a big house, and fill it with twelve children.”

You coughed. “Twelve? Are you and your future wife thinking of splitting the pregnancies up?”

Jaemin laughed. “Okay, maybe not twelve...But a family of my own is my dream. My parents split up when I was five so...I’ve split my time between two homes and it was an awkward feeling, especially after both of my parents remarried.”

“Oh…” You said. You couldn’t exactly sympathize with him because your parents were happily married so you didn’t want to say anything that could rub him the wrong way. That was the last thing you wanted.

“I want to be with that one person...For the rest of my life...When I meet her, I’ll know.” He said, giving you a meaningful look.

You had no idea how to process that so you took a sip of your blue raspberry ICEE and held it in the air, awkwardly. “Here’s to you finding your soulmate someday.”

He chuckled. “Thank you.”

___

You arrived at Heather’s summer home...Well, she called it a cabin. But it was actually a mansion by the beach. It was gorgeous. Something straight out of a movie. It looked like it could be its own hotel resort. You realized that there was a good chance you’d have your own room.

“This house is huge!” You exclaimed.

Jaemin looked along with you as he handed you your bag. “What a shame. I was hoping we would room together.” He said softly into your ear.

You turned to him in shock and he shot you his infamous flirty grin. This boy had you thinking he liked you and he’d better stop before you tried to kiss him.

Heather handed everyone keys to their bedrooms. “If any of you lose this copy, I can’t help you.” She made sure to say that as she handed you your keys.

You went up the stairs of the beach house and chose the last room on the left. You were unlocking the door to your room when someone from behind you tapped you on the shoulder.

“Hey, you’re y/n, right?” You recognized Yangyang from your mandatory PE class. You both took Intermediate Swimming, a class where as long as you flailed in the water and passed the easy quizzes, you’d be guaranteed an A.

You nodded. “And you’re…”

He said, “I’m Yangyang. It’s so nice to see you here!”

“You, too,” you said, averting your eyes once again. Yangyang was pretty attractive and you hoped he didn’t remember you and your Sailor Moon one piece. You always tried to be one of the first in the water and the last to leave when it came to your swimming class.

Even though Heather’s comments were nothing to you, it didn’t mean you were completely immune to the hurt it caused.

“You were in Coach Emerson’s swim class, right? You had the iconic Sailor Moon swimsuit.”

And there went the rest of your hopes and dreams. “Y-yeah…”

He laughed. “Don’t be embarrassed. I had Dragon Ball Z swim trunks.”

“Really?” You said.

Yangyang pretended to be hurt and winced. “I thought you’d be the one to notice.”

“Well...I’m not exactly looking at anyone’s...body…” You said, cringing at your words.

He laughed. “Fair point. I just liked the pattern. Your favorite character is Sailor Mars, right?”

You nodded, “Hell yeah. She’s the best.”

“I’m more of a Sailor Venus guy, myself,” he replied.

“Good taste. But all of the Sailor Scouts are queens,” you started.

“No question,” Yangyang said. “Hey, do you-” His phone started to ring. “Sorry, y/n...I gotta take this.”

You waved goodbye to him and entered your spacious bedroom. As much as Heather despised you and you despised her, her family had excellent taste in real estate. The queen-sized bed was plush like a cloud straight from heaven. You pulled the window up to feel the ocean breeze. It was paradise.

You heard a knock at your door an hour later. It was Jaemin.

“Wanna go for a walk?” He asked.

“Sure!” You said, having already changed into a sundress.

Jaemin thought you looked stunning. Well, you always did. He was so happy to be here with you. Otherwise, he may not have gone on this trip.

Jaemin led you to the beach where you let your toes touch the water. He teased you by splashing you. And you splashed him back until you both were soaked.

You both laughed so hard that you toppled over each other, you on top of Jaemin. You both stared at each other for a long time. Jaemin closed his eyes, his long eyelashes caressing his cheeks. He waited for you to kiss him.

You moved closer and your lips met his. His lips tasted salty thanks to you and your merciless splashing. But the kiss was everything. It was fireworks at the end of a perfect night. It was hot chocolate on a warm winter night. It was like an angel held you and you snuggled against his wings. The kiss was perfect.

You two let go and Jaemin bit his lip. “So.”

You stood there, frozen. “So…”

“So...we did that.”

You nodded. “Indeed we did.”

“Thoughts?” He looked at you with his big brown eyes.

You cleared your throat. “Well...I certainly wouldn’t mind doing that again.”

Jaemin’s big gorgeous goofy smile came back full force at hearing you. He cupped your face in his hands and was about to kiss you again.

“Guys!” Naeun called out to you. “Have you seen Yangyang?”

You and Jaemin pulled yourselves apart. You answered, “Last time I saw him was when he went to his room. Is everything okay?”

“He wasn’t answering his phone...And I found it in his room.” She held up his phone that had a Dragon Ball Z pop socket on the back of it.

You frowned. “That’s weird.”

Jaemin offered. “Maybe he went for a walk. Got some fresh air?”

“Maybe…” Naeun thought and you nodded. “If you see him, tell him I’m looking for him and that I’m pissed.”

“Okay,” you said.

Naeun stomped away, frustrated.

“Now where were-” you started.

Jaemin already pulled you in for another kiss. He pinned you down against the shoreline and trailed your neck with his kisses.

You breathed heavily as you held him tightly.

He looked at you, as if asking you something.

You gave him a look. “What’s up?”

“Do you want to…” His eyes moved down to his pelvic region where his member was protruding through the fabric of his trunks.

Your eyes widened at how big he was. And your eyes nearly popped out of your head when you realized what he was asking. “Oh…”

Jaemin waited for you patiently.

Things were moving too fast. You were more than happy to kiss Jaemin all night but you really weren’t ready to have sex. Not tonight, anyway.

You already knew the answer. “I’m sorry Jaemin. I do like you but...I’m...not ready. I should go…” You got up but Jaemin stopped you. It was like a romantic Korean drama scene, except instead of your wrist ...He grabbed your ankle.

“It’s okay...You don’t have to go. Please don’t go…” He begged as he made a puppy dog pout.

You laughed, relieved. “Okay okay...You can stop making that face.”

Jaemin pouted his lips even more. “What face?”

You rolled your eyes and splashed him. You and Jaemin spent a couple of hours on the beach, kissing and talking. You wrapped up and he walked you to your bedroom.

___

You woke up early the next morning to hear screaming and crying. You got out of bed and ran out the door.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, finding Naeun devastated on the floor. Heather sat down with her on the ground and consoled her.

“Yangyang…” She said between sobs. “He’s gone!”

Renjun looked grave as he handed you his phone. “We all got these messages. Did you, y/n?”

You looked at what was on Renjun’s phone screen and there was a video of Yangyang, bound up and gagged. Tears streamed down his eyes. He mumbled loudly for help.

Tears fell out of your eyes. “What the hell is this?”

You couldn’t believe it. You’d just had a whole conversation with him yesterday. He was friendly and funny…

And now he was like this.

Jaemin replied, “Someone’s idea of a sick joke...I don’t recommend looking at the rest of the story, y/n…”

You ignored him and kept watching. The next video pointed to a wall and you could hear Yangyang clearly now...He was yelling. “No! Who are you? Why are you doing this? Stop! Nooooooo!” The video cut off after that. The last picture was of Yangyang with his throat slit with text that read: “Wonder who will be next...It’s anyone’s guess, really. 🧐 #springbreak2020”

You ran into the bathroom and threw up. The rest of the group followed you into the bathroom. “Well, y/n?” Tzuyu started.

“Well, what?” You asked.

“Show us your phone,” Tzuyu demanded.

“Why?” You asked.

Jaemin intervened, “Why are you guys ganging up on her?”

“We’ve checked everyone’s phones...Now we want to see y/n’s,” Tzuyu said, a vindictive look in her eyes.

“Fine,” you said. You pulled it out of your pocket and you were shocked to find the messages on your phone.

“Someone sent them to her, too. She’s as innocent as the rest of us,” Renjun said.

Tzuyu frowned. “Okay…”

She seemed disappointed that you weren’t the culprit. You wondered why Tzuyu hated you. She was merely one of Heather’s followers so you guessed she would hate anyone Heather hated no matter what.

Still, this didn’t alleviate any of your worries. Someone kidnapped and murdered Yangyang overnight. And whoever that was remained close by.

And they weren’t finished.

Unfortunately for all of you, your cell reception was weak so you couldn’t contact the police. You were on the verge of a panic attack.

Renjun decided, “We should try going to the next town to get reception.”

Tzuyu started, “You are not leaving me here.”

“Fine, we’ll go together.” He said as they both walked off and borrowed Heather’s car.

___

You sat in the living room, scared to be in your room all alone. Hell, you didn’t mind being with Heather and Naeun. Jaemin was making lunch in the kitchen for you guys.

It had been a few hours since Renjun and Tzuyu left. Now you were all getting worried. The next town wasn’t that far off, according to Heather. So something was up.

And you wondered if it had been a good idea for them to leave. Maybe they had been just as much in danger as the rest of you. Whoever the killer was...He had resources to be anywhere at any time. It gave you shivers.

“Y/n, can you get Naeun a glass of water?” Heather asked you.

You nodded and met Jaemin in the kitchen. You asked him once again, “Are you sure I can’t help with anything?”

Jaemin shook his head. “I’ve got this.” He said as he finished making lasagna.

You got a glass of water for Naeun. “Jaemin, I’m scared,” you said.

Jaemin looked rattled up, too, but he seemed to be holding it together for the rest of you. And it meant a lot to you.

The four of you sat down to eat quietly. Naeun barely took a bite of her lasagna.

Not too long after, she started wheezing. Hives broke out onto her skin. “Epi...Pen...Heather.”

Heather jumped out of her seat. “I’ll go get it!”

“Oh God,” you panicked. “You need air! Let’s go outside, Naeun.”

You and Jaemin helped her out to the front door so she can breathe better. You were praying Heather found her EpiPen soon.

Heather returned, upset, “Are you sure it’s in your purse? I couldn’t find it.”

Naeun nodded. “Yes…”

When you realized Naeun’s EpiPen was missing, you ran up to your room and grabbed yours. “I brought mine!”

“Hurry up!” Heather said.

You ran back down and Naeun was able to get the injection she needed to recover from her reaction.

Heather took Naeun up to her room to recover.

“I wonder what Naeun was allergic to…” You said to Jaemin.

Jaemin frowned. “I don’t know...I had no idea she had severe allergies. Maybe it was in one of the ingredients but I’m not sure which one…God, I feel terrible.” He put his face in his hands.

“Hey, it’s okay...It was an accident...She’ll be okay,” you said as you hugged him.

“It was a good thing you had your EpiPen, y/n...You’re amazing…”

“Or I just have severe allergies, too,” you said.

He laughed awkwardly. “Right…”

Even more hours passed. Renjun and Tzuyu haven’t returned. Everyone was antsy.

You and Jaemin were going to go out and look for them but you were shocked to find his tires had been slit recently.

This wasn’t a coincidence. The killer was watching your every move. You wondered if he had gotten to Renjun and Tzuyu. Your throat dried up at just thinking that.

You and Heather grabbed weapons from her father’s shed, which included gardening shears and hunting rifles.

Heather taught you how to handle the rifle. You both went back into the house with your weapons in tow. You all made sure to shut all of the windows and close all of the doors. You scoured the entire property. No one can come in. And no could come out. You hoped there wasn’t some random secret entrance to this house that rich people always seemed to have in the movies. You all reluctantly headed to bed.

You sat up on the edge of your bed. You were comfortable in a concert tee and some shorts. You wanted to wear something that would be easy to run in. Just in case the killer would come for you next.

Jaemin was at your door. “Hey…Heather and Naeun both fell asleep.”

“How can they be asleep...I can’t sleep knowing that that bastard is out there…” You said.

Jaemin walked into the room. “Can I sit with you?”

You nodded. “Jaemin, what are we going to do...We can’t just stay here. We're sitting ducks. Renjun and Tzuyu are just gone...And we don’t know when or even if they're coming back…”

Jaemin rubbed your back in small circles. His touch was distracting. Kissing Jaemin would be a great distraction.

Making love to him would be even better.

That would be ridiculous. The last thing you wanted to do was have sex when a murderer was afoot. That would be a total cliche.

Jaemin replied. “I’m sorry, y/n...I think our best bet is to wait it out until morning and go to the next town on foot.”

You nodded. “Yeah...Maybe daytime will be safer.”

Jaemin nodded. “Why don’t you go to sleep and I’ll take the first shift?”

“Really?” You asked.

“Yeah, I’m wired. I had three cups of coffee in the past hour. You need to rest, y/n.” Jaemin said as he pulled the covers over you. “I’ll come back to wake you. I’ll be on guard.” He grabbed one of the hunting rifles he left outside the door.

“Thank you,” you said as you shut your eyes. Sleep quickly took over.

___

You were quickly shaken awake. “Y/n get the fuck up!” Heather hissed.

“Heather?” You exclaimed.

She shushed you. “Shut up. You need to come with me right now.”

“What’s wrong?” You whispered.

Heather made sure your door was locked before she returned back to you. “Naeun is dead.”

You looked carefully at Heather and had seen that she’d been crying. “What?” You asked. “That’s impossible.”

“We shouldn’t have left her alone. She said she was fine. She seemed fine. I went to check on her and...she wasn’t breathing. And...I think she was smothered, y/n.”

“Wait...Are you saying…”

“The killer is Jaemin,” Heather said.

“What? Why would you say that?” You shook your head.

“Think about it, y/n. None of us has good reception here so how is that we got those texts about Yangyang? The killer had to be in close proximity to us. Tzuyu and Renjun left in my car, which he probably messed with so they got into an accident...And...I don’t even want to say what could’ve happened...Whatever Jaemin put in the lasagna almost killed Naeun. Then, her EpiPen fucking disappeared. And then, conveniently right after, his tires were slit. And now, since he couldn’t finish the job the first time, he smothered Naeun to death.”

“Heather...Jaemin wouldn’t…” You started.

“I know...I had my doubts, too, but...he gave me some calming tea before I went to sleep...When it cooled down, I tested it...It’s been drugged.”

Your heart sank. “How do you know?”

“My dad’s company is working with the nail polish that can track date rape drugs. My painted nail changed color when I tested it out. Jaemin tried to drug me, y/n…” She showed you her neon green polish and the one fingernail that turned black.

You covered your hand over your mouth.

“I had a feeling he would come check up on me so I tossed some of the tea down the drain and pretended I was asleep. He came back to check that I was asleep, y/n...That’s just creepy. Why the hell would he need to drug me?”

Not knowing how to answer, you started, “Heather...Maybe…”

Jaemin surprised you both by breaking the wood of the door down with an ax. He made a big enough hole to unlock the door from the inside.

You and Heather yelled. Jaemin heard everything. 

Jaemin started. “Heather, why are you up? I thought I was going to take care of you tomorrow in my grand finale…”

“Shit,” Heather said as she got closer to you.

“Jaemin? What grand finale?” You demanded. “What is going on?”

Jaemin smiled wide at you. “Sweetheart, I thought I told you to sleep.”

The look in Jaemin’s eyes became cold...Calculating.

“y/n...It’s no accident that I asked for you to come on this trip…” Jaemin said as he pulled a knife out of his pocket and twirled it around his hand. “I thought you’d partake in the festivities…”

“What festivities?” Heather demanded. “Why the fuck did you try to drug me? Why did you kill Naeun? What the hell did she do to you?”

Jaemin tsked as he met Heather’s eyes. “Why wouldn’t I kill Naeun? Why wouldn’t I kill them all? Think about it, you ungrateful little brat.”

You found yourself moving closer to Heather then for she was your only living ally. Albeit the biggest bitch in the land.

Jaemin killed everyone.

Jaemin was the killer.

Heather shook her head. “Jaemin, stay the fuck away from us. I swear to God. Or I’ll-”

Jaemin chuckled. “You’ll what? Call Daddy? Call Mommy? They’re both abroad, never giving a second thought about their spoiled daughter...Those two think you couldn’t be safer and more comfortable…It’s ridiculous...A girl who has everything...Takes it upon herself to put others down...You’ve put y/n down for years...You’ve never let go your childish and petty hatred for her...And for what reason?”

Heather’s resolve faded when she realized what you had.

“Jaemin…” You started.

“Y/n, did you not realize that each person on this trip has fucked with you one way or another?” He asked.

Well, the girls were bitches, yes, but…

“Naeun was the one who spread that rumor about you getting your breast implants...Tzuyu was the one who nearly ran you over in the student parking lot...Renjun body shamed you in the boys’ locker room...And Yangyang told us all that he wanted to take your virginity this weekend…”

“Jaemin!” Heather exclaimed.

“You should’ve been careful with who you added in your group chat full of morons, Heather....Ah, and Heather, dear...you’re the ringleader in all of this...You goaded Naeun and Tzuyu to do these things to y/n. You’ve set out to put y/n down for a long time now. You even went along with Renjun and Yangyang’s comments about y/n’s body...Fuck you, by the way, she’s perfect in every way...And I should’ve made them all go through slower...more painful deaths for all of the things you said about her...”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. You had no idea that even boys were targeting you...First off, you literally just breathed. The girls were childish and petty but…

“Jaemin,” you said.

“Yes, sweetheart?” Jaemin asked with a kinder smile to you.

“What they all did to me was wrong...But you didn’t have to…”

Jaemin’s eyes widened. “Kill them? Well, it wasn’t up to you...All of these people are worthless scum that won’t amount to much, honestly….So was it really a waste?”

Heather surprised you by pulling a handgun out of her pocket. She shot Jaemin in the chest. “y/n, let’s go!” She pulled you out of the bed and you both ran for your lives.

“Agh!” Jaemin groaned as he fell to the ground.

You both ran down the stairs. Heather unlocked the front door, knowing the house was no longer safe.

You both ran down the steps of the entrance. You had to pull Heather with you because she ran too slow for you. Then, you heard a gunshot.” Heather fell down. She’d been shot in the foot. “Fuck!” She yelled.

You turned to see Jaemin at the entrance with a hunting rifle. “Bulletproof vest, baby!”

You yelled as you tried to help Heather up.

Jaemin asked, genuinely confused. “Y/n, why are you running? This has nothing to do with you.”

You gaped. “Are you kidding me? Apparently, this has everything to do with me…Jaemin put the gun down! Please stop!”

Jaemin shook his head. “Out of the question, sweetheart. You’d be smart to leave Heather to me.”

Heather began to cry. “No…”

You wrapped Heather’s arm around you and both walked off. Heather winced with pain but she could manage as you kept running. Jaemin was getting closer and closer. He waited, then.

You and Heather were confused. Why did he stop running?

You and Heather both walked over a bear traps you both hadn’t seen.

You yelped in pain and Heather cried out, “Son of a bitch!”

It hurt for both of you to move an inch. You both cried.

Jaemin made his way over, using a flashlight. He sighed. “Y/n, you should’ve stopped running. Now you’ve your beautiful ankle...Well, it’s no big deal...I can disinfect it and patch it up nicely for you...After I’m done with Heather.”

“Jaemin, no, please stop. You don’t have to do this. I don’t want you to do this. That’s enough!” You pleaded.

At the sound of your last two words, Jaemin froze. The words brought him back to when he was a kid and he would pummel other children for bullying his younger siblings. His parents would beg him to stop. It was too bad that their words didn’t stick. And your words were no different.

Jaemin sighed. “I’m sorry, y/n…” He whacked the back of his gun over your head so you blacked out.

___

Heather had also been knocked out. She awoke to being tied up and sitting in the hot tub beside the Olympic sized swimming pool in the backyard. She noted that bricks were tied around her ankles. As she tried to pull herself up, it was impossible for her to get out.

Jaemin smiled wickedly as he wielded the thermostat. “You’ve always prided yourself on being the hottest girl at our college...Why don’t we put that to the test?”

“Jaemin, please stop! I am so sorry!” She cried. “Please don’t do this! I messed up! I...I’ve always been jealous of y/n! Because she was the one who had everything. The perfect family. The perfect grades. The perfect body. Everything about her is so damn effortless that I hated it.” She hoped that pouring her soul out to him might make him change his mind.

“Oh, boohoo…” Jaemin said as he increased the heat.

Heather grew uncomfortable. “Jaemin...Stop...Please...It’s too hot…”

Jaemin sighed. “Goodbye Heather…”

___

You slowly woke up seated on the passenger side of Jaemin’s Jeep. Your eyes quickly opened when you realized that. You jerked awake and found Jaemin in the driver’s seat, calm and composed. “I think we’re alone now...”

You backed up against your window. “Jaemin! Where is Heather?”

“Oh, she’s tied up at the moment...In the hot tub...She is indeed the hottest girl from our college now…” Jaemin said, a chuckle escaping his lips at his pun.

You were about to be sick. You pulled the window and vomited. You tried moving by the gash from the bear trap made you wince and groan in pain.

“Oh, y/n...I didn’t mean for you to get hurt...You couldn’t help it, though. Wanting to help that brat till the end...Because you see the good in people...You are simply too pure.”

“Jaemin...Where are we going?”

“To the next town...Where we will report a murderer that broke into Heather’s summer home…”

You looked at him in disbelief. Surely, he wouldn't turn himself in.

“The murderer is at large and we narrowly escaped, y/n...I got you out of the bear trap and we were able to get away in my car…”

You shook your head. “Jaemin, no...They’ll never believe you...”

Jaemin shocked you by breaking down the same way he had the day before you left for the trip. “Officers, please h-help us. Our friends are gone!”

You looked at him in disbelief. Did he fake crying before?

Well, you did think he was a tremendous actor. You just didn’t know how right you were.

“Jaemin, this is wrong…” You started.

He sighed. “Y/n...you worry too much...Now your life will be brighter...It’ll be perfect now. Perfect for the perfect girl…”

You contemplated how the hell you could get away from Jaemin. Your options were limited as he’d taken your phone. You couldn’t exactly run that far but you could find a way to slow him down. You noticed Heather’s car off the side of the road. It’d rammed into a tree. Jaemin must have tampered with Heather’s car, you realized. He did admit to having a hand in their disappearance, after all.

You thought fast and with all of your strength you moved over to Jaemin’s side and turned the wheel so the car collided into the trees.

The impact was intense but you’d dodged most of the impact. Jaemin laid next to you, unconscious and bleeding.

You limped out of the car and checked Heather’s car. As you feared, Renjun and Tzuyu died from the impact. It was a gruesome sight. They dealt with blunt trauma. Their heads were draining blood. You nearly puked again.

Before you broke down in tears, you thought fast and remembered Renjun and Tzuyu smoked. You rummaged through the glove compartment for a weapon or a phone...You came up short with Renjun’s lighter. Tzuyu’s phone had some battery left. The reception was low so you had to find a way to get to the next town to get reception.

So now what the hell were you going to do, you weren’t going to light a car up on fire...And burn the evidence that was once Tzuyu and Renjun.

You noticed the gas leak that came from under the car. You got under the hood of Heather’s car and found the gasoline tank leaking. You grabbed an empty Starbucks cup from the front seat and let the gasoline slip in.

___

You ran, not getting very far when Jaemin called out to you. He was able to walk normally and he was quickly catching up to you.

“Y/n! Sweetheart! Where are you going? Without me...” Jaemin called out.

You turned quickly and found he walked over to you with an ax.

“Fuck off, Jaemin!” You said, realizing he was just as capable of killing you.

“Sweetheart, let’s just talk about this...I did this all for you...Because I love you...I want to make you happy. I want to marry you. Have twelve children...Ah, yes, you said twelve may be excessive...How does eleven kids sound?”

You rolled your eyes. He was fucking insane. You decided to provoke him. “What makes you think I would marry a deranged killer?”

Jaemin’s face was unreadable then. You hid the cup of gasoline away in your sweater. Pretending you've injured your arm so Jaemin wouldn’t be the wiser.

“Y/n, please…”

You entertained him by turning around.

“What, Jaemin? How could you possibly convince me that anything you did was okay?”

“If you let me try…” Jaemin started. He got closer to you.

You waited for him to get closer and quickly doused him with the gasoline.

Jaemin coughed as some of the gasoline got in his mouth. “y/n, what are you-”

“Goodbye, Jaemin.” You ignited Renjun’s lighter and tossed it at him.

Jaemin clothes caught on fire. He yelled in agony as you watched him struggle. He threw the axe at you but he missed. You cried as you went back to Jaemin’s car and started up the ignition. Thank goodness, it still worked.

Jaemin immediately removed his clothes to remove himself from most of the flames and patted himself down. He immediately charged at you as you backed the car up from the tree.

You didn’t think twice as you ran him over. Checking the rearview mirror and seeing the job hadn’t been completed, you reversed the car and ran him over again.

You waited ten minutes to see that Jaemin was dead. You got out of the car and kicked his body to check for any movement. You got his heavy, lifeless body into the car with you. You checked his pulse again. He was dead. You checked multiple times because once again, you weren’t about to become a movie cliche.

You made it to the next town and reported Jaemin’s murders and how you killed him in self-defense. You explained your weekend of terror and you were at the station all week for questioning. Your family joined you and consoled you as you told them all you knew.

The police scoured the mansion. They found Yangyang’s body in the pool house, beaten to a bloody pulp. They found Naeun’s body in her bed, like she’d been in perpetual slumber. They found Heather’s body in the hot tub, wrinkled and burnt. They found Heather’s car where Tzuyu and Renjun’s bodies remained.

Jaemin told you the truth. He worked part-time at hardware store. He had been fired that day for snapping at one of the customer’s who was berating his wife. Before Jaemin left, he stole an ax. He really did get the ax, like he’d told you.

It turned out Jaemin tampered with the reception at Heather’s house and because her house was already remote...Jaemin was able to use that to his advantage. He used the last of the reception before he cut it off to send the texts about Yangyang from a burner phone, which was uncovered in his Jeep. Yangyang’s phone was unlocked and the police uncovered his messages that were supposedly from his dealer, who he scheduled to meet with the night he disappeared. It turned out Jaemin hacked into the dealer’s phone to get Yangyang right where he wanted him. Jaemin did indeed tamper with the wires of Heather’s car so Tzuyu and Renjun’s fates were sealed. The leftover lasagna Jaemin had prepared was analyzed and there were traces of crushed peanuts in the lasagna. Naeun had a severe peanut allergy. Naeun’s EpiPen was found with Jaemin’s other belongings. When you’d saved Naeun with your EpiPen, Jaemin took it upon himself to smother Naeun with a pillow in her sleep. Jaemin had planted bear traps around the front lawn, which was how he caught you and Heather. Heather died from heat exhaustion in the hot tub as she was tied up and restrained with bricks tied around her ankles. Jaemin had done all of this with gloved hands so no trace of his DNA could be found at the crime scenes. If it hadn’t been for the evidence he’d hidden in his car, then the case would’ve been more difficult to resolve.

Jaemin’s body was recovered at the crime scene. Thankfully, he was not a movie cliche where he up and left and awaited his next victim. He was dead to the world and most importantly, dead to you.

[Fin]

[a-tired-narwhal]

Tell me more about your feelings about the details of Caleb's backstory!

Okay listen anon. LISTEN. This is going to be LONG. Did I immediately rewatch/go back through the entire wrap up to take notes? YES I DID. Anon I'm sorry this is so late, I didn't see your ask until after the stream. I hope this finds you (*＾3＾)/～♡

----

Caleb fucking Widogast. Liam O'Brien always creates/portrays characters that CAPTURE ME. And it is purely the undertow of SUFFERING that I crave.

As a survivor of an abusive childhood, specifically with manipulation, neglect, and physical trauma, and having a controlling abuser in a position of power over you - I was surprised and delighted by Liam's playing of Caleb, and I'm sure that I'm probably not the only one, but Caleb's backstory just had me nodding along. Was not surprised at all by what was revealed about the blumentrio's relationship being trauma-bonding and probably why I'll never be an avid shipper of them. Nothing about Caleb's backstory left me gasping - because it's a relatively common abuse survivor story, except it's in the world of dungeons and dragons with high fantasy and magic and more common place murdering than today in places where most Critters presumably live.

Let's break it down.

Caleb was born as Bren to a less than well off family, who wanted their child to have a better life than them. Bren is a gifted child, and this will immediately put a bullseye's target on a child's back, make no mistake, for abusive persons. Now, I don't know if it's a pretty obvious that parents would trust in a teaching figure to take their child for that child's betterment, because I don't have parents who wish for my betterment ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, but I like to think that Bren's parents handed him off hoping for his brightest future.

Trent is basically the textbook example of a Cult Leader. Beyond the experimentation he did on his students; everything he put the Blumentrio through is how you beat down and brainwash people, especially children/adolescents. Textbook. TEXTBOOK. It was the dnd equivalent of the Hilter Youth. Now my personal experience featured the tool of isolation, so I didn't have two childhood friends to pour myself into and have threesome's with, but that's actually smart of Ickythong, because when you're left alone with your whirling brain for too long, and there's no one to hold over your head - we start thinking those rebellious thoughts, and at some point we decide we have nothing to lose, and we will do ANYTHING to shake that control. No, he left them in that abandoned tower together so they would be forced to bond with each other, as well as allowing them not to die of exposure alone.

Trauma-bonding CAN be a manipulation and used against you. Now. We have three adolescents trying not to freeze to death by being as close as physically possible. For those that don't know; sharing body heat works best skin to skin - ya get naked and THEN you wrap up together to stay insulated. Awkward groping is going to happen, and it's more than likely accidental. But when you add raging hormones to the mix, yo it's not going to stay accidental for very long (that in no way indicates non consent, it can be either way), and the feelings can catch hard when you're young and physical and EVERY HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP YOU HAD HAS BEEN TAKEN FROM YOU, IF YOU EVEN EVER HAD ONE. (I do not know Eadwulf or Astrid's home lives so your guess is as good as mine. We should probably ask Liam)

So you've got horny teenagers, with above average intelligence, being systematically abused... Bam. Trauma-bonded Blumentrio.

BUT HERE'S THE THING. Trauma-bonding can only get you so far. And they are children, actively being raised to NOT HAVE THEIR OWN THOUGHTS AND IDENTITIES. The relationship they built, the romantic and sexual, are based off of a shared hostile environment and survival needs. And when those circumstances are no longer there, the relationship tends to fall apart.

I love that Matt talked about Astrid for a bit, sad we didn't get more on Eadwulf - but Matt didn't really spend a lot of time roleplaying Wulf compared to Astrid, so he'd have more insight into her. I also find it interesting that the Blumentrio took 3 very different, but again SO COMMON, paths in dealing with their abuse. But that's a different rant.

Focus with me now on what Matt said about Astrid. She was actively seeking power throughout the campaign, looking always to climb that ladder to the top, for her own purposes which were not stated, and was willing to do anything, sacrifice anyone, to get that power. Was it a burden to her? Yeah I think so. Did it weigh on her? Again I personally think it did. But she was goal-oriented and she wasn't going to let anything stop her, not even herself, and she hated Trent. Matt implies that all three of the Blumentrio did/do. Astrid, Wulf, and Caleb were wildly different people - I don't think they would have stayed together even if Bren had stayed Bren instead of becoming Caleb.

I know A LOT of people were miffed over how Liam and Matt showed Caleb's and Essek's love for each other; and I am SO glad that Liam touched on this; Essek reminded Caleb too much of Astrid and Eadwulf. Now I know we love to joke that that Redhead Dirt Wizard has a Type (smart, ambitious, vaguely amoral), and believe me I LOVE THE JOKE, but Caleb pumping to brakes on Hot Boi makes THE MOST LOGICAL SENSE AND I WAS SO DELIGHTED WHEN LIAM PLAYED IT THAT WAY. Caleb was still trying to heal himself; WHY THE HELL WOULD HE JUMP INTO A MESS CALLED ESSEK? That's some mf UNHEALTHY, TOXIC romance trope ya got there. People fix themselves, not each other. THAT'S WHY CANON SHADOWGAST IS SO GOOD. THEY ARE WORKING TO IMPROVE THEMSELVES FIRST. THAT'S SO HOT.

Ahem.

So the Blumentrio hangout in Astrid's room to sex and study, in threes and twos (I have weird polyam questions, Liam). Now, I'm foggy on the exact timeframe that was together at Academy > kill your parents > Bren is chucked into the Sanitarium; but it's clear that after the murdering of parents, Bren is tagged as the "weakest link" - maybe he broke because he actually loved his family/had a loving family, maybe the manipulation spell from Ickythong didn't sit on him as well as Astrid and Wulf, maybe boi wasn't made for killing (a lie, the boi is a total killer, you have to be in most dnd campaigns), who knows. But he broke, and Astrid and Wulf handed him over - it would be dangerous for them if they tried too hard to protect him.

Because in that environment, in those circumstances, in that set up; you do what you have to, to survive. You hurt people you love, you hurt people you don't know, you even hurt yourself if it means improving your own odds. It's instinct. It's not your fault. You are doing the best you can with what you have available.

I don't hate Astrid and Eadwulf; I just have more emotional attachment and investment in Caleb, and prefer the color purple on him.

Which is actually a great segue into THE WOMAN AT THE SANITARIUM WHO FREED HIS MIND; Matt Mercer you beautiful man, thank you for giving us a Moonweaver connection, my lil widomauk heart was sent aflutter! So, here's the thing. Places like that, sanitariums, psych wards, etc - if you are not certifiably insane before you go in, you will be eventually. One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest is not a fucking joke. But the thought of some forgotten Moonweaver Cleric recognizing Bren's torment and just, poof, dissolving that spell? *Chef's kiss* glorious, wonderful, everything I needed.

Anon, I don't know if this is what you wanted or expected - but here it is, my sincerest apologies 🐳

[katutsukushii]

This is just a warning that while this thread is completely SFW, there are some implied NSFW moments, or some sexual jokes. When I say some I mean there’s 1 line and then 1 scene where they jokingly mention sex. That’s it.

And this is a drabble about Natsuo/Bakugou.

Shouto didn't quite understand what was going on. Or how it had even gotten to this point.

It started when he invited Katsuki and Izuku over to dinner to his place - at first, it was going as expected, Katsuki was cursing and complaining, bitching at them both.

As soon as his family had entered the room, that'd changed.

Katsuki's eyes widened for a second before the insults died on the tip of his tongue. Suddenly, his gaze was downward, a blush covering his cheeks as he shuffled where he stood.

Was... was he shy?

Shouto didn't know. All he knew was that it was weird.

And Natsuo was even freaking weirder. It seemed as if his goal for the evening was to impress their guests, make them feel as if their family was happy and normal, and so he spent the entire time making jokes, laughing far too loudly and glancing towards the blond whenever he had said anything remotely entertaining. It was excruciating.

However, Katsuki seemed to enjoy it as he had huffed out a small laugh every once in a while, and every time Natsuo's grin grew wider, a healthy flush covering his cheeks.

Maybe he had had too much to drink.

Who knew. 

Either way, ever since then, Katsuki seemed adamant at spending as much time in Shouto's childhood home as possible, constantly asking to study there whenever Shouto went home for the weekend, even though they could've easily studied at the dorms during the week. Shouto, of course, accepted - he couldn't deny one of his best friends, after all.

It was good for them, anyways.

Well, maybe it was only good for Shouto because Katsuki seemed to be progressively getting worse at the subjects they were studying. Perhaps it was due to the fact that the blond vehemently refused to study in Shouto's room - "it's weird, you freak, I don't wanna go to your room" - and instead opted to study in the living room, right where Natsuo himself often spent time doing his Uni work. It was distracting.

And silly.

That is until Shouto finally realized.

Oh. Katsuki simply didn't want to be alone with him in his room because... because he had a crush on him!

That's why he'd been spending so much time with him! That's why he refused to go to his room - it was probably far too intimate, far too personal. Oh no.

Oh God.

What was Shouto supposed to do? Well, Katsuki was rather attractive - pretty in that... feral and scary sort of way. Objectively a good looking boy with his smooth skin and red eyes, nice body too.

But Shouto just couldn't see him like that. No matter how hard he tried. And he did try! He tried so hard!

Katsuki had even yelled at him and called him a creep for staring at him so much.

But he still studied with him during the weekend, despite the creepy staring.

God. Why was love so complicated? Maybe he should give it a try anyways, just to see if he would fall for him eventually.

He did love Katsuki, after all. Just... just not in that way.

Hm.

Maybe.

God, the sex would be awkward, wouldn't it?

Ugh. And so he figured he'd ask some questions, just to give Katsuki some hints.

Maybe doing so in the living room, while Natsuo was drinking some juice right behind them, wasn't the best idea. 

"Katsuki, have you ever kissed a boy?"

Right.

A bit more tact would've been in order, maybe. Cause straight away two things happened - Katsuki's face went beet red, eyes snapping over to Natsuo for a split second before he started to scream insults, and Natsuo started choking on the juice, coughing and pounding at his chest as he wheezed. He had gotten his answer, though.

After all the yelling and avoiding the notebook Katsuki was determined to use to kill him with, Shouto asked once more, "so... I'll take that as a no, then?"

"Shut the fuck up you dumbass, do your work." The blush on Katsuki's face told him all he needed to know. He barely felt Natsuo flicking the back of his head, the older boy leaning in to whisper in his ear, "dude, I don't need a wingman, shut the fuck up." Huh? The hell did that mean? He'd have to google it later. Whatever. Katsuki still wasn't making any moves, even after that. Shouto thought that maybe he didn't even want him to - he hoped they could stay just like this, without the hassle of romance. Just him and Katsuki studying, Katsuki barely paying any attention, Katsuki glancing over to the couch were Natsuo was sprawled out with headphones in his ears and some stupid video playing on his laptop with crumbs of food on his T-Shirt, Katsuki blushing whenever Natsuo offered them something to drink, Kat-

Oh.

Right.

Well, how was he supposed to know? He couldn't read his damn mind.

Anyone would've assumed he was the one Katsuki was interested in. He supposed it made sense, though. Natsuo did seem to pay a particular sort of attention to Katsuki, always brushing his hand against the small of his back, holding the door open for him when he gave him a ride back home, trying to get him to laugh. Of course Katsuki would develop some sort of affection for him. Ah. If only Natsuo liked him back. Such a shame. They would've been a lovely couple - maybe they would've even asked Shouto to be one of the best men! He had introduced them to each other, after all.

He decided the best course of action would be to confront Katsuki - talk to him about this issue until they could both figure out what to do, how they could get Natsuo to look at him that way.

“I know you wanna fuck my brother.”

Okay.

Again, some tact would’ve come in handy. 

"The fuck did you just say to me, you pervert?"

Shouto really should've been concerned by how eerily calm Katsuki seemed, maybe he even should've bolted right that second. But his self-preservation skills have never been that great - after all, his favourite pass time was trying to figure out how to piss Endeavour off. And so he simply popped another piece of chocolate in his mouth and arched a brow from where he sat on the other side of the table while Katsuki clenched his pen with a tight grip.

God, he hoped the pen wouldn't break - he couldn't be bothered to clean that mess up.

He couldn't help but notice the way Katsuki seemed to be throwing glances towards the entrance every few seconds, as if he was waiting for someone to come in.

Of course, Shouto already knew Natsuo would be home soon.

Fuck, he hoped he'd come in in time to hear this. "I said that I know you wanna fuck Natsuo. Or have him fuck you, either or. I don't really know what you're into - wait, what are you in-"

"You better stop right there if you wanna live."

"I feel like you're going to kill me no matter what I say."

"Probably."

Seconds of silence ticked by.

"... so, what are you into then?"

"That's none of your fucking business, what the fuck?"

Shouto rolled his eyes - of course he'd be uncooperative. So sensitive. "It's fine, I'll just ask Midoriya, he must have it written down in one of his notebo-"

"Huh? Wait, what the fuck?!"

"Or maybe Kirishima would know."

"Why the fuck are we talking about my sex life?!"

"Oh. Right. Cause I know you're into Natsuo, just wondering what you were gonna do about it."

Shouto watched as that shade of red that had been progressively appearing on Katsuki's cheeks suddenly bloomed all the way to the tips of his ears.

"I'm not gonna do anything, you fucking freak, what the hell is wrong wi-"

"Ah, so you do like him."

"I never said that."

"You didn't deny it either."

"Shut your whore mouth, Todoroki."

Just then, they both turned their heads towards the door as it clicked open, watching as Natsuo stepped in, carefully toeing off his shoes before placing his coat onto the hook right next to the entrance. The second he looked up, though, finally catching sight of them both, he grinned, his cheeks flushed and fingers running through his hair as if he were attempting to tame the wild strands sticking up in the air. It didn't work, of course, but Katsuki still seemed to look at him as if he'd never seen anything as beautiful, eyes sparkling and all.

Shouto wanted to throw up.

Or maybe just die.

Whichever came quicker. He watched as Natsuo stumbled into the room, foot catching on the edge of the carpet before he righted himself, that flush on his cheeks seemingly intensifying - now that was just embarrassing.

Was Shouto like that, too? He fucking hoped not. Shouto picked his pen up, about to continue writing in his notebook and ignore this whole clusterfuck when he caught sight of Katsuki.

God. The blond wasn't even looking up anymore, his gaze facing his lap as he seemed to fiddle with the sleeves of his hoodie, his entire face now entirely red as he scrunched his shoulders up, as if he were trying to hide his face.

It was almost... Cute. Pretty. 

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself, "do you think Katsuki is pretty, Natsuo?"

He winced at the kick to the shin Katsuki had sent his way - okay, maybe he deserved that one.

Maybe he deserved the slap on the back of his head coming from Natsuo too. "Shut the fuck up."

"The hell's wrong with you?"

Both of them spoke up at once.

Slowly, Shouto turned towards his brother, watching as the older boy's eyes widened when he saw the amused look on his face. Shouto pouted, brows furrowing in faux confusion.

"So, you don't think he's pretty, then?"

"I-I never said that."

He vaguely heard Katsuki choking on his own spit.

"He is then? Pretty?”

He could see Natsuo's jaw clenching, gaze practically screaming murder, and yet when he looked over to Katsuki - who was resolutely staring down at the floor, fingertips pressed onto his temples as he leaned onto the coffee table on his elbows - his gaze softened.

Oh. Ew. "Yeah," Natsuo spoke, Katsuki's eyes snapping over to him, "he's very pretty."

A choked sound came out of Katsuki, and all Shouto could do was grin as he turned back towards his friend. "Oh, that's good then. He thinks you're pretty too."

He moved out of the way before Katsuki could wrap his hands around his throat.

It seemed as if that moment did two things - made Katsuki want to avoid Shouto's home and never return judging by the way the studying invitations had ceased to exist and it made Natsuo absolutely fucking insufferable. 

"Oh, where's your friend?"

"Hey, no blondie today?"

"Is he okay? Is he sick? Hm, I guess I could make him some soup. If he needs a professional medical opinion tell him to call me. I can, uh, give him an examination or- oh, God, don't tell him I said that, what the fu-"

Shouto was starting to think Natsuo had a crush too, Jesus.

It wasn't until Natsuo seemed to snap that he finally realized that was actually true. The last thing he expected to see when he walked into the kitchen was Natsuo leaning back against the counter, going through Shouto's phone.

"What are you doing?"

Natsuo didn't even glance up. "Getting the number of that pretty boy you keep bringing around, the hell does it look like? Honestly, I've been waiting for you to offer it, I was gonna ask him for it but then you scared him away with your shitty social experiments. Poor thing."

"Oh," Shouto watched as his brother pocketed his own phone, locking Shouto's and placing it onto the counter before walking towards the door, "I didn't realize you liked him back."

Natsuo stared at him, mouth open wide before he groaned.

What the hell did he do now? 

"Shouto, I've been drooling over him since I met him."

"I thought that's just how you were with everyone."

"What, a nervous wreck?"

"No. Desperate for attention and pathetic."

"That was uncalled for."

"Still the truth.”

Natsuo sighed, quickly taking his phone back out before leaving the room, shaking his head on the way out.

"Good luck on your date," Shouto shouted after him. All he got in response was an exasperated groan. Whatever. Hopefully, Katsuki would stop moping around now that he finally got what he wanted.

Hm. Maybe he could get the blond to make him some cold soba.

To return the favour for being such a good - what was it again? ah - wingman. He hoped their study dates would be back on now - his grades were suffering without his friend's help.

At least both of them would stop with the shitty lovesick stares, it was starting to become gross.

Hm. Maybe he was happy for them, though. Just a little bit.

Maybe.

[wonda-cat]

for the ask game, c!techno?

How I feel about this character:

Hoo, boy. Anon, are you sure? 

Well, since you asked; I am utterly conflicted. Techno is a difficult character to specify my feelings on because they’re not dead-set certain. They change pretty often. One minute, I’m listening to ‘Woe to the People of Order’ getting goosebumps and thinking about how cool Technoblade is, the next I am gritting my teeth as he mocks the brutal death of my all-time favorite character. 

However, if I had to boil it down, I’d say I definitely do not like him. Both narratively and just in my own personal tastes. He’s just not my cup of tea. There is certainly a lot to admire in him, such as his sense of humor, patience, raw skill, and love for animals. His narrative consciousness and fourth-wall-breaking is certainly an... acquired taste. Although, he does have some genuinely fantastic lines and speeches. Plus, he allows for other characters to really shine in the story as they’re put into situations, solely because of him, that would otherwise not be possible (ex. Quackity, Dream, Wilbur.) 

More than anything, I just find him boring because he never truly loses. He always comes out on the other side the same, or even better off. He has won every physical fight he has ever entered and all his endeavors work out in his favor, no matter how morally corrupt they are. Every other character in his position has lost at least once or is dead. I tend to root for characters who are down on their luck or do nothing but lose, like c!Tommy. Because I desperately want to see the moment where they finally get the happiness they’ve been searching for. Techno... doesn’t exactly have that. 

What is there for him to strive for that he doesn’t already have? Currently, with static motivations and a zero to his losing streak, I will naturally root against him. In my personal taste, I prefer characters who are moral and do the right thing, even when it’s hard; especially when it’s hard. And when they mess up, they still try to do the right thing anyway. This is probably boring to a lot of people, so I understand the love some have for morally dubious or entirely corrupt characters. And that’s not lost on me. Evil is fun. 

But Technoblade’s brand of morally bankrupt is sometimes framed as righteous and is ever-victorious. Which only makes me despise his actions more. I’d be warmed and welcoming to him if he was just unapologetically a shitty person. And he is, especially in regards to the way he treats other people, how he deals with issues through violence, and allies himself with tyrants and murderers. 

However, it is his victim complex and flowery language that leads people to root for him more than they necessarily should. cc!Techno knows that his character is a bad person and I’m sure he’s aware of this distinct lack of narrative consequences. 

I look forward to the day c!Techno pays in full for his hubris.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

None. The servant of the Blood God has no time for romance.

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

This section is rather unpredictable. There are so many great friendships and dynamics Techno has in the storyline. Philza is an obvious choice for obvious reasons and I do find their dynamic exceptionally endearing. 

However, my all-time favorite is Dream. Rivals Duo is absolutely wonderful. They match each other’s brand of evil, Techno slightly less so. However, it is their power and skill that leaves them on level playing fields. With them being more or less equal to each other, Dream is incapable of intimidating Techno, so he gets bullied relentlessly by this well-educated anarchist pig. And I find that fucking hilarious. On top of them just being absolutely unstoppable when they have a mutual goal, the ‘Dream’s Evil Lair’ segment between the two was just fantastic.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

Tommy and Techno’s relationship was never healthy. I have never liked it. I’m tired of pretending I did. Bedrock Bros, while having some endearing moments, just filled me with dread every time I remembered Techno’s intentions for their partnership. The literal instant Techno told Tommy he didn’t respect him and only would when he conformed to his ideals, I yelled at Tommy to get the fuck out of there. The red flags were so blinding I was seeing red for weeks after they separated. Good lord.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

I desperately, desperately want Techno to have a falling out with either Philza or Ranboo. Or maybe both at the same time. I want it so, so bad. Not even permanently or over anything major! I just want them to disagree on something; anything. I want Techno to be forced, kicking and screaming, into some character development. I want him to realize that not everyone who disagrees with him is out to hurt him or hates him. Sometimes loved ones will disagree with you. And that’s okay! I want him to realize that and learn from it. I want him to grow.

[skateurgency]

oh jenizah?? :o hope it's still okay to ask. 2, 3, 4, 14, 15 (if applicable), 16, 18, 19, 40, 44, 45, 48, 53, 54, 56, 65-69! i'm sorry for asking so many questions, i've just never heard of jenizah and i'm curious! you can choose to answer as many or as little as you'd like i just 🥺 love ocs

Thanks for all the asks!! Jenizah is the current DND character I'm playing, a dark elf necromancer cleric who follows the Goddess of pain Loviatar. I've been playing them for about a year and a half now and I love them dearly. I have some art pieces of him on my page if you're interested in what he looks like! Should be tagged as Jenizah or Jenizah and Count Everett.

2: Do they consider themselves an optimist? Pessimist? Realist? What are they like in actuality?

He considers himself a pessimist for sure, and in all actuality they're somewhere between a pessimist and a realist. He's the one to bluntly shut down plans if they're not going to work out well, but will also try anything he can to get the result he wants.

3: How do they carry themselves around strangers? Friends/Lovers? Family? Jenizah is pretty much the same around everyone. Loud, flamboyant, limp-wristed, and with a dark sense of humor. He has a bag of holding full of corpses and it doesn't matter if you just met him, he will let you know. Luckily, necromancy is legal in the country. There is a certain individual that Jenizah is romantically interested in, and their personality is subdued around them, as they're a more reserved person and he tries to be respectful of that.

4: If your character was a work of art, how would you describe them?

An oil painting that's in a gilded frame in a museum. Most likely a portrait, as they're a little vain and full of themselves. Large brush strokes and texture. One of those paintings where you can see the layers of shadow and highlights on top of everything else.

14: Does your character value promises? Are they good at keeping them?

Extremely, promises are like blood vows. He tries his best to keep them, but sometimes other things get in the way. He helplessly watched his lover die, and breaking that promise and vow definitely changed him. He can be a little obsessive about it now.

15: Describe their ideal date.

There's a certain vampire count that Jenizah has his eye on and really anything involving him. Something fancy and classy though, Jenizah has expensive tastes.

16: What keeps them going?

Desire. Currently, it's romantic desire. He sees something he wants and he fights with his whole self to achieve that goal.

18: How does your character act when they want to seem inviting?

A little coy, definitely more smiles and open body language than the normal brooding boy he is. May flash some coin around to get somebodies attention.

19: How does your character act when they want to seem threatening?

Oh, he will pull out the skull of a vampire lord he keeps in his bag, or threaten to kill you, bring your spirit back to talk to it to get the answers he needs, and then maybe resurrect you if he's feeling generous...

40: Describe a corruption/redemption arc version of your character.

Jenizah already balances on that fine edge. I've joked that if my DM doesn't let us play out the romance we've been having, Jenizah will murder and dismember his love interest in that standard "yandere" style. He's obsessive, and doesn't form healthy attachments to people. He also has a fear of abandonment and being left behind, and that could be pushed to an extreme.

44: How do they hold onto people?

Tightly, with their nails digging in hard enough to leave a scar.

45: What would they never forgive themselves for?

If they watched any of their friends die again. They're the party healer and ressurector, it's their job to keep them around and failure won't be tolerated.

48: What do they want to leave behind?

The ghost of their former lover. Although we just found out he's now been revived and is working with the enemy so I doubt that will happen any time soon...

53: What does freedom mean to them?

The ability to make the choices he wants. Not in a "no consequences" way, but in a "nobody can stop me" way.

54: What is something they currently look forward to? What is something they dread?

Any time with the vampire Count Everett. Jenizah counts down the hours until sundown each day, hoping he receives a message from him. He dreads the quest that their on, the crushing weight of a world needing saving.

65: Adoration or Intimidation?

Both. Intimidation through overwhelming adoration.

66: Outward Passion or Quiet Rebellion?

Outward passion, and it burns very brightly.

67: Selflessness or Self-Preservation?

Self-Preservation, except for very, very close friends.

68: Objective or Subjective?

Subjective, easily.

69: Journey or Destination?

Destination. He's working for his end goals.

[artistkoo]

Kiss me, Heal me. 3

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Summary: When Jungkook gets injured just before an important game, he sets out to find his soulmate to heal him. In a world where soulmates can heal all kinds of illnesses by kissing, he’s desperate to find his, even if he doesn’t know you yet. What happens if he does find you? Will you kiss a stranger who claims to be your soulmate?

WC: 3k+

Warnings: Smut but it's not who you think it is, Infidelity- but jk has a shitty gf n it's mutual lol, snarky oc at the end.

tags: idiots and enemies to lovers, a lil slowburn, a bit of angst, soulmate culture, smut in the future.

A/N: this is unedited as always so sowee 👅💋 hope ya still like it tho! enjoy loves. :)

pls don’t repost my fic anywhere, if i ever find out you stole my fic idea you’ll regret it. thanks :)

You still couldn't stop thinking about the kiss. Though it was a week ago, and you've been avoiding Jungkook like he had the plague. Also, he went home awkwardly last week after that happened. You wondered if it meant something to him? To you? Of course it meant something to you, you were in-like with him. No matter how hard you tried to deny it, mayhaps you liked him. It really didn't help that you felt like heaven when he kissed you. It kinda makes you think if you were just meant to be healing soulmates and not romantic soulmates. And then there's his girlfriend too, they haven't broken up yet and what if she finds out you kissed his boyfriend? Would that make you a slut? Are you really a slut now? Ugh, maybe you are for Jungkook that is. But no. You should just forget about it, Jungkook doesn't seem like he'll leave his girlfriend for someone like you anyway. Even though you heard they were almost fighting everyday. Your best friend Charlie told you so, of course she asked how last week went and of course you cursed her for making Jungkook scheme with her against you.

But, you also told her about the kiss which she happily squealed when she found out, shipping you both. And then she proceeded to tell you about Jungkook's chaos in paradise. Why did he even kiss you? He's just making you overthink stuff, and it isn't even nighttime yet. Did he just want to help and heal you? Or was it something more? It doesn't matter you kept saying, but maybe you were just trying to convince yourself otherwise.

You went to the library to distract yourself and read some books, and of course like every cliché romance novel- (tho the romance part isn't really true) the person you were avoiding was there. Jungkook and his long curly hair that you hate. Why did he have to be so damn godlike all the time? He was in a casual polo shirt tucked in inside his pants, maybe he didn't have soccer practice today. And he looked so good you were trying not to get wet just staring at him. Maybe he noticed you were ogling him so he decided to stare at you back. But you were still embarrassed and you didn't know how to act around him now, so you went to the back aisle of the library. Not acknowledging that he was calling your name. He didn't let you go though, as he went after you to make your suffering even worse.

"Y/N, hey are you avoiding me?" he suddenly asked. You pretended to be busy reading the book you were holding, just so you didn't have to stare at his handsome face. "Oh. Hey Jungkook, of course I'm not. I'm just busy trying to catch up with school and stuff. Why'd you think so?" you replied indifferently. "You didn't listen to me when I called your name awhile ago, and I haven't seen you around campus so I thought maybe you were avoiding me. Aren't you really?" He said as he moved towards you, making you feel queasy.

"I really am not. I just didn't hear you awhile ago, and besides the whole campus is pretty big maybe we just didn't notice each other." you simply fibbed. "Okay, whatever you say. I just wanted to know how are you feeling btw? Are you feeling better now after we… kissed?" you can't believe his cocky ass would really bring up the kiss. Fck him. "I'm spectacular if you must know. And can we not bring that up ever again please? It doesn't matter anyway." you retorted sarcastically.

"Why not? Are you mad at me because I kissed you? Or are you mad because you loved it?" he said as he moved closer to you trapping you within the shelves. You couldn't breathe but it was also like you didn't care, you wanted him close to you even if you felt like dying inside too. When you finally looked at him in the eye, you weren't surprised that he was staring at you with that playful but concerned look you kinda liked. "Don't be so full of yourself, I only liked it because it healed me. There's no other reason." You tried to shove him off and get away, but he held unto you and placed his hands on your hips. "If that's true, then why can't you look at me more than a minute longer and why are you running away baby?" he whispered into your ear seductively. He then moved to look at your face, and then at your lips. Seemingly wanting to taste them again. And you wanted to taste his too, you remembered how you got almost addicted to his lips the first time you kissed. He leaned in closer and you suddenly remembered you didn't even answer his question yet. But you think you did now as you were kissing him. The kiss didn't last long as you remembered his girlfriend Chaeyoung. It was unfair to her and what if she caught you? You were almost making out with her boyfriend again. The thought was enough to make you pull away from Jungkook, leaving him a little confused.

"Why did you pull away? You can't lie to me, I know you liked kissing me too."

"Yes, maybe I did Jungkook. But it's wrong. You have a girlfriend Jungkook, what are you thinking? What about chaeyoung? Don't you care about what she'd feel?" you reasoned. "I know that, you don't have to remind me. But you're my soulmate Y/N, she's just my girlfriend. And I don't even know what I feel about her anymore, but when I kiss you I don't think about anything or anyone else."

"But we can't do this Jungkook. I can't allow you to cheat on her with me, and I can't allow you to use me while you figure out what you really feel about her. It isn't healthy for the both of us."

"I know baby, I'm sorry. I'm not using you to figure out my feelings for her or forget her, I don't know what it is yet but I feel so good when I'm with you. Can't we just forget about everything for a little while and just let it be?" he said as he cupped your cheeks with his hands. "I don't know Kook, I don't think I can forget that you're with someone else and fool around with you. If things aren't working out for the both of you, why don't you talk it out or break up?"

"It's not that easy to just talk it out with her… and I can't break up with her…" (just yet) Jungkook wanted to add.

"Well what are you planning to do? And what do you want me to do Kook? I don't wanna be the other woman. You surely don't think we'll just mess around while you're still with her?"

"I can't let her go just yet Y/N. I need to think more. But I can't let you go too. You're my soulmate, pls don't give up on me. I just need time to figure things out." Jungkook said dejectedly. "I'll wait for you Kook, I just hope you can make the right decision. Also, It's not like I can avoid you forever. But, maybe it's best if we just stay friends for now. Like friends with no funny business or benefits." You said meaning it seriously but the last part jokingly. Trying to make the mood a little better.

"That's okay with me I guess. Well friend, promise you won't avoid me now?" He looked at you with hopeful eyes.

"Promise. Just don't try to do illegal things to me." You joked. "Okay! Hmm, so you wanna go eat icecream with me at my fave ice cream shop this time?"

"Are you paying for mine? If you are then who am I to say no."

💜💋

"Babe, you feel so good inside me."

"Of course I do, I have the best pussy and you know that."

"Not to ruin the mood, but what about your boyfriend? What if he catches us here? I heard he's built, I'm not saying I'm scared but you know I hate confrontation." The guy said balls deep inside her. "What about him? He doesn't care about me, he's probably fucking someone else too. But I can't break up with him you know? We've gone through a lot, and even if he neglects me I still want & need him. And you can't blame me for wanting someone to fulfill my needs, when he doesn’t anymore. Don't worry about him catching us, he never comes here unless I tell him to. Jungkook is so obedient, but a lousy boyfriend."

After you both finished your ice creams,( you learned his fave was the cookies and cream flavor,) Jungkook didn't want to go home yet. He suggested to go to the bowling alley at the mall, to teach you how to play bowling, because you mentioned you've never played it before.

"You have to hold it like this. Place your middle and ring finger in the top 2 holes and place your thumb into the bottom hole." he instructed, after a while you were almost getting the hang of it, though Jungkook was still the best because he'd made a 'turkey' already. You found out he loved going bowling with his dad, before they fought about his goals and dreams. It's amazing how athletic he is. He's an amazing soccer player, he's good at bowling, he's an exercise muscle pig, he can probably do anything if he puts his mind to it. Maybe the only thing he can't do is leave his girlfriend for you, or like you. But it's not time for your pity party right now.

After a taxing hell week, Jungkook invited you to have a movie marathon with him as a friend at his place, to relax after the horrid week and hangout.

"What movies are we watching this time Kook?" you asked sitting on his bed comfortably, holding a bag of chips to munch on later as you watched movies. "Hmm, I was thinking we could watch all the Iron man movies, and maybe spiderman after."

"Wow you really like Iron man huh?" you teased smirking a little. "Well yeah, only uncultured swines don't." he retorted.

"I really like how pepper stayed by his side through everything. She's a brilliant woman." Jungkook says sometime during the movie. "Yeah, I haven't really seen all the iron man movies till now but I can say they suit each other well. Pun unintended." you laughed at your silly thought, making Jungkook smile too.

You were focusing on the movie when you realized Jungkook's attention wasn't fully on the movie, instead it was at you. He was staring at you and he wasn't even being subtle about it. "Hey creep, why are you staring? You're not planning to murder me are you?" You joked. "I'm not a creep and I'm not planning to murder you, I was just admiring the view." You felt a blush forming in your cheeks at his words. Did he mean he was admiring you? That you were the view? The view isn't even that beautiful though, you thought insecure.

"Stop joking around Kook." you told him shrugging him off. "I'm not though, but I'll stop. Wouldn't want you falling for me even more." He cockily remarked. You knew he was joking but you couldn't help but get pissed a little by his joke. It was like he was trying to rile you up and for what? You couldn't do anything with him. You shouldn't, besides you already had an agreement. "As if Kook, keep dreaming."

"I'll keep dreaming of you then."

"Shut up or I'm really gonna get mad now."

"Okay, okay. I was just teasing babe don't be mad, I'm sorry."

"Let's just continue watching the movie okay?"

"Yeah, of course." he said awkwardly.

💜

You were out buying something at the store when you saw someone familiar passing by. Was that Chaeyoung? Jungkook's girlfriend? After taking the items you bought you followed her, as you were curious if Jungkook was with her at the mall too. But to your surprise she entered a resto, and the guy waiting for her wasn't Jungkook. It was some guy you didn't know but they looked kinda close if you must say. Thinking he was just a friend, you were about to go on your way when you saw at the corner of your eye that they were a little too close to be just friends. She fed him some food and they were sweet with each other. An ugly thought geared in your head. She wasn't cheating on Jungkook wasn't she? But if she were then it would be so unfair to him.

You had the sudden urge to ask her what she was doing when you realized it wasn't your place and your business to butt in. You also remembered that you kissed his boyfriend so you were conflicted. Isn't it hypocritical to hate her for possibly cheating on Jungkook, when Jungkook kinda did the same? Their relationship is kinda fucked up if you think about it, and you don't want to be a part of it. But how can you not be affected when you've already sinned with your soulmate. You decided to go home instead of snitching her to Jungkook, as you thought it wasn't the right time yet. Also, you needed more proof and to know the truth if she really was doing it.

You were back again at Jungkook's place to do a project for school, as the universe decided to make you partners for this class project. Maybe it's the soulmate effect, ew. You should stop being delulu, you thought. You weren't gonna lie and say you don't enjoy spending time with Jungkook though, He was always so adorable and kind. Except for times when his cockiness gets the best of him, he was enjoyable to be around with. "So, which part do you wanna do first?" you asked. "Hmm, maybe the easy one first?" you laughed a little, of course he'd choose the easy part to do. "Okay. You'll do the vocabulary part and I'll do the introduction summary for now." You stated. He agreed and you both proceeded to do the project, chatting occasionally to ask some questions about it. You just finished your tasks for today, when Jungkook decided to make a dad joke and it was actually a good one- or maybe you're just lame that's why you found it so funny that you had tears in the corner of your eyes from laughing so much. Someone decided to knock on his door interrupting your crack fiasco, and you remembered to get yourself together and stop giggling like a crackhead.

"Chaeyoung? Why are you here?" Jungkook said as soon as he opened his door, his girlfriend appearing in front of him. "Because you weren't answering your phone Kook, and now I see why." She retorted, looking at you accusingly. She had put weird extensions on her hair, making her look quite ratchet. But her outfit was kinda nice, it was slutty like her. "Well Y/N's here because we're doing a school project, it's not what you're thinking Chae."

"And what am I thinking Kook? Care to tell me how you know what's on my mind?" she said sarcastically. "I'm just saying the stupid things you're thinking aren't real, babe." Chaeyoung got angry at his statement. "Are you saying I'm stupid Jungkook? How dare you!" she screamed.

"I never said that, you're the one who said it. Are we really gonna fight right now again? Because I don't have the time or energy for it. So can we do it some other time? Not right now when Y/N's here." Instead of being ashamed, the things Jungkook said just seemed to rile up his girlfriend more. "And so fcking what if she's here Kook? I don't care about her, and you shouldn't too. Your business with her is done! You shouldn't be meeting up with her anymore, but look at you hoeing around behind my back." You wanted to defend Jungkook, but you remembered that you did kiss him and that made you feel a little guilty. Though, you agreed to be just friends right now. "I'm not hoeing around Chaeyoung! Stop accusing me of doing things I'm not doing. I care about Y/N because she's my soulmate, and you should respect her as a person if you can't respect us being connected in each other's lives." Jungkook retorted right back at her. "If you're not playing around then why do I feel like you are Kook? A woman's instincts are never wrong. You've been cold to me. And whenever we talk, we just fight. Is it really crazy for me to think that it's because you want something or someone new?" she cried crocodile tears.

"I'm sorry if you feel that way, but It's not wholly my fault. You always seem to find mistakes in me and accuse me of stupid shit I didn't do, that's why we're always fighting. You say I never communicate, but when I try to- you're the one who doesn't listen to me. I don't even know what to do with you anymore Chae. I don't know what to do with us." Jungkook sighed, quite exhausted with the whole conversation they're having. It was so awkward for you to witness them fighting, that you wanted to get out of the room already. So you told Jungkook you were leaving.

"Kook, I'm sorry to butt-in but maybe I should leave now? We're almost done with the project anyway." Jungkook was about to reply and escort you out, but his girlfriend chimed in. "You really only thought to leave now? When you could've done that ages ago? Come to think of it, it's your fault why we're fighting again. You're an annoying little slut." Jungkook was embarrassed and bummed at his girlfriend for insulting you like that, she was being paranoid and a bitch. You decided not to mind her and say anything, even though her bitch ass was really getting into your nerves. "Chaeyoung shut up!" he told her.

"No. Why should I shut up when it's true? It's her fcking fault for being such a flirty whore trying to steal you away from me! You're not even gonna deny it are you?" You couldn't help but answer her as you couldn't take the bullshit she was spouting anymore. "I don't usually respond to background noise and nonsense people, but since you wanted my attention so badly- I'm gonna tell you this. I'm not trying to steal your boyfriend, so please get out of your imagination now, It's not healthy." You retorted snarkily. You were about to get out of the door, but you couldn't help but tell her one last thing before you go,

"And before you call me a whore, make sure you're not one."

And you coolly went out of the door and walked away from them, leaving poor slutty Chaeyoung stunned.

TBC. 💜

If you enjoyed reading this and u wanna help a broke gal buy some food to eat during this pandemic, my kofi is: https://ko-fi.com/neinyajung U can buy me a coffee for $3, only if you want to ofc! I totes understand if u can't. Even just reblogging this chapter would make me happy :)

Also, positive feedback and reblogs are highly appreciated! your comments are what inspires us writers to write more! so pls tell me what u liked about the story, so I'll be inspired to write and give you fast updates.

If you wanna be added on the taglist Reblog and comment on this chapter to be invited on the gc! ty 💜 my taglist is on the Kiss me Heal me tumblr groupchat as it's easier to notify people there.

[sometimesrosy]

What elements make B/E such an obvious romantic obstacle to B/C, narratively, etc?

A lot really. I mean, first, with that time jump, we needed to see that Bellamy had grown and moved on from the trauma of earth. Who better to show that transformation than the grounder who represented betrayal and brutality and murder and war to him? The one who betrayed him and almost killed his sister and held him captive. To forgive HER means he’s over the s3 bizness where he treated all grounders as the enemy who deserved death just for existing in some cases. We SAW him learn the lessons, but with the time jump and B/E he now INHABITS it. He’s grown from it. 

There’s also the parallels between CL and B/E. first alliance, then betrayal, then kidnapping, then working together, then saving from sucide, then forgiveness, then love. I know some people consider CL to be endgame, but my theory here is based on CL being over, for important reasons within the narrative. So to parallel two relationships that are important and transformative, but not endgame, and to show the longer pace of B/E which shows that Bellamy was healthier than Clarke was, is a sign of character development.

Bellamy needed a relationship in order to move forward on the ship, so he wasn’t a wreck. He needed to be a whole person, who COULD live without Clarke, because the Bellarke relationship is a relationship of equals, and it’s NOT codependent. They don’t fill in the holes of the other person. They are not INCOMPLETE without each other, They needed to be shown as complete people on their own. So showing that he’d not been destroyed by her loss meant having him accept love, accept that he deserved love. Therefore, he needed a healthy relationship. 

OKAY. This turned out to be A TOTAL EPIC post. And it’s too long so after the jump. STay tuned.

IT COULD NOT BE RAVEN. Wanna know why? Because Raven has her own journey. And she CAN NOT be second choice, because of her problems with finn and clarke in s1. Raven needs someone to be head over heels over her, if she’s going to have anyone. And if Bellamy had been in a relationship with Raven, CLARKE would always be standing between them. And with Clarke’s resurrection, Bellamy’s SOULMATE, Raven would be cast into second place, thus ruining Raven’s character arc, and putting Clarke into the SAME narrative of being the other woman, without any development. This would be a failure of storytelling, lacking growth and transformation which is NECESSARY for this story. 

As long as Bellarke is endgame, Br/aven could NOT happen. If Bellarke is NOT endgame, Br/aven is actually the CLEAR AND OBVIOUS choice for Bellamy’s next relationship. They already love and respect and like each other. Raven is a major character. The audience loves and wants them both happy. If Bellarke were not endgame, then Br/aven would have been. If Bellarke were PLATONIC, for real? Then Br/aven should have been developing all this time. But since Bellarke is an endgame romance, Br/aven CAN NOT happen romantically. 

THUS they needed a character to be his romance, to show him moving on, but it couldn’t be a character who was TOO essential that we would replace Bellarke with that ship, as would have happened with br/aven. Although it also needed to be a character who was tied to the major issues we’ve been dealing with, someone who maybe reminds him a little of Clarke even. Enter Echo. betrayals, ruthless, sneaky, beautiful, cheated in the conclave, almost killed his sister, does whatever she has to to save her people, loyal. 

I’d also like to bring up Echo’s name. And I think her name DOES matter. At first I thought it was because she was an ECHO of CL and that betrayal for Bellamy.  The myth of Echo, as the nymph who pined after Narcissus didn’t make sense to me, as Bellamy wasn’t a narcissist in love with his own reflection... UNTIL someone made the point that the classical concept of soulmates was one soul split into two bodies, so a person and their reflection COULD be a metaphor for this soulmate concept. Which made Bellamy in love with his reflection/soullmate Clarke, which now ENTIRELY fit the Echo and Narcissus myth. Echo is in love with Bellamy who is obsessed with his soulmate Clarke (who in s6 was ‘behind the glass’ like a mirror image! huh. Who was it that posted that theory!? that sounds like a confirmation to me.) Now again, Clarke and Bellamy are separated by this distance, and Echo goes in to find him? I hope Echo doesn’t fade away like her namesake did, but it’s possible. But Narcissus also dies at the river, in love with his reflection, becoming flowers, right? This actually fits my spec that Bellarke will “die” but in reality just be separated from their family and live out their lives in pastoral happily ever after. Anyway. The myth of Echo and Narcissus, means Echo is NOT the soulmate.

Also. JR said Clarke and Bellamy were soulmates. And fine, I don’t use commentary in my analysis... but I do if it fits, and this fits. They are SHOWN as being soulmates from season 4 AT LEAST. “you center her.” “you got it backwards.” for an example. 

Okay, but now lets get to the narrative. What I told you before is more about storytelling and tropes and character development. Or HOW you tell a story. Now we’ll get to canon evidence. There’s still some storytelling in there. I’m gonna start with s5, because that’s when romantic b/e showed up.

This was the big sign to me of what was going on with Bellarke and B/E.

The first episode of s5 was almost ALL Clarke. We were focused on her survival in the wastes. We were given access to her feelings and thoughts and pov. We were given her monologue.  Which was not a monologue.

It was a conversation, one way, with Bellamy. The voiceover of 5.01 was Clarke making her 2199 radio calls. Which is a romantic trope. They were, essentially like a diary, or love letters, or even a prayer, in a way. For that little bit of the story, in fact, huh. We could almost think of that whole episode as being Clarke’s tales of survival, told to Bellamy as a kind of epistolary tale. What we see IS what she said to Bellamy. Hmm. That’s interesting.

ANYWAY. My point was. The audience is put square inside Clarke’s head, and her head is “why haven’t you come home,” and talking to Bellamy and missing him.

THEN we get the scene where Clarke is talking to Madi about them, and missing them and then the camera pan up through the stars to Bellamy looking down on them, unknowingly, at the valley.

THIS IS THE MOST POETIC THE MOST ROMANTIC SHOT IN THE WHOLE SHOW. MAYBE IN EVERY SHOW EVER. It is a poem. She yearns for him, across time, beyond the stars, and he’s looking down on her, thinking she is dead, and the INFERENCE is that he’s yearning for her too, past death.

A love that literally lasts past death time and space. ULTIMATE EPIC LOVE STORY. And they are finally going to be reunited. AH, resolution for their separation and their love.

AND THEN... dun dun dunnnn, the plot thickens. 

Out of nowhere, the reveal that Bellamy and Echo ARE LOVERS. 

BAM! OBSTACLE. more, ROMANTIC obstacle. 

Clarke’s yearning was romantic in nature. We don’t see inside Bellamy’s head, but making the obstacle to their reunion no longer tech, but instead an established romance, means that the narrative has set Bellarke on a romantic path. Because otherwise another romance would not be an obstacle. Heck, Echo is not against Clarke. Even when she was threatening her life she wasn’t really against Clarke. She gets her. As a leader and partner, she gets her. Echo is ONLY an obstacle if the goal is a romantic relationship between Clarke and Bellamy.

That it’s set up this way, as a shock, is part of the romantic narrative.

THIS is on purpose a slap in the face. Because the audience has been set up to want them to come home TO CLARKE, to want a Bellarke reunion and to FEEL that they belong together. 

THEN when Echo is sure things will change between them, and Bellamy assures her that nothing will change between them on the ground, this is what’s known as DRAMATIC IRONY. The audience knows that Clarke is alive, they know that the bellarke bond is epic, they know that Clarke is yearning in a romantic way, they know that when Bellamy finds out that Clarke is alive EVERYTHING will change with his relationship with E. 

But then, we get a misdirect, or rather, a plot obstacle to B/E. Octavia is not forgiving and she’s scarier than ever. 

B/E is set up from the VERY BEGINNING as a romantic obstacle.

Then to prove it, we get

Clarke’s VERY shocked and jealous face when B/E reunites and kiss. That the camera focuses on HER, shows her watching them, and not on THEM means the main emotional weight of the scene is not the lovely reunion between loving partners, (thank god you’re ok i was so worried i’m so glad to see you again love love love,) but rather on clarke. (omg bellamy is kissing someone. bellamy is not mine. heartbreak, jealousy, shock!) See the focus is NOT on the established relationship, the B/E leg of the love triangle, but on CLARKE, the pining one, the one whose love is unrequited. The soulmate.

IF B/E were endgame, the focus would have been on the relief of the reunited lovers. But we’ve just spent like two episodes on the reunited (non-romantic apparently) soulmates, and the CANON relationship can’t even get an infocus shot?

A close up of someone’s face means the narrative wants us to feel their EMOTIONS. We got lots of those when Clarke and Bellamy reunited, when they hugged, when they struggled to regain their connection. But with the B/E reunion. Their faces were obscured, not shown, blurred.

Ok. And YES, Bellamy then moves on to focus on Echo and B/E, and saving her from Octavia, and that is to show that B/E is real. Because no obstacle that is not made real is going to be enough to really scare the audience into worrying that it could stop our heroes from their goal. IT HAS to be real. But even while Bellamy is proving to O that he loves Echo, the focus is NOT really on B/E, but on the Blakes relationship.  And on Bellamy and Octavia. This is teaching us who they are now, after 6 years apart.

Then there’s a love scene between B/E, or half a love scene anyway. The beginning. It is cut off in the middle and cuts to CLARKE getting ready to leave.. Oddly, the music for the scene stays the same, which CONNECTS the two scenes. A LOVE SCENE cut with a LEAVING SCENE. An established romance confirmed, a pining soulmate leaving aka giving up. And in the next scene, we get this dynamic reinforced... however, there is a change. The romantic couple is confirmed again, while Clarke watches. HERE we are shown a closeup of her face, tears in her eyes, all about how she feels about their relationship, after the close up of their faces I think, and sadness and love yes. this is real. Then Clarke steps back, straighten her shoulders and accepts it. She won’t interfere. He’s not hers to love. HOWEVER, then Echo LEAVES. The established couple separates. And we turn to Clarke and Bellamy immediately he knew she was there somehow.  

While B/E are split up, Bellarke are brought back together, although at this point they are non romantic, with each member choosing Echo for him. And we spend many episodes with them rediscovering their soulmate bond and getting closer and more intimate as they do so. While Echo has her OWN narrative and it has nothing to do with Bellamy or b/E. 

This leads to Bellarke making pledges to each other, over her daughter, and he swears to take care of Madi when/if Clarke dies. Bellamy promises to parent his soulmates daughter while his canon girlfriend is off risking her life. They bond as, well, co parents. Making them a family unit, Mother, Father and Daughter, though no romantic or sexual relationship between the two? 

Not so fast.

“Another traitor who you love.” Octavia lays out the issue. Bellamy loves Echo. Bellamy loves Clarke. She is comparing Echo and Clarke in his love. This is a ROMANTIC love comparison. She’s goading him. He doesn’t take the bait. Because he has a plan. 

Bellamy sacrifices his sister for Clarke’s life. Poisoning her. His sister who has been established as the person who means more to him than anyone else in the world. When it was O or E? He chose O and let E go off on a suicide mission to win a place with wonkru. When it was O or C? He chose C and poisoned O. That is an equation. Bellamy loves these three women. C more than O. O more than E. C>O>E. When compared, Clarke wins over Echo. If Octavia made it clear that the love is romantic, then Bellamy made it clear that his love for Clarke is deeper than his love for Echo, even if he’s not ready to face that or deal with it.

AND THEN SHE LEAVES HIM TO THE PIT. He knew he’d betrayed Clarke, but it is confirmation to him that Clarke does not return his feelings. So, when that’s sorted out, he has a moment where he’s choosing between Clarke and Echo (the earth vs the sword, it’s a heavy handed bit of symbolism so we don’t miss it.) He chooses Echo. It’s the logical choice. Head over heart. 

MEANWHILE, Echo and Clarke are having their own life or death convo. In which we find out that Bellamy loves Echo, Echo loves Bellamy, Clarke always cared for Bellamy but thinks him dead at her hand. NOT SO FAST. Bellamy is alive, “oh now you care?” AND THEN, revelation from the past FlameLxa tells her love is not a weakness, she was wrong to betray Clarke (canon love) and Clarke should not do the same thing (betray her love bellamy.) Remember also CL and B/E are paralleled. Remember also all the same players were at MW the original betrayal. L walked away, Echo walked away, Bellamy was under the ground, and Clarke stayed to get to him. it’s just interesting. So in the end, Clarke betrayed ELigius, spares Echo and sends her daughter (another love equation. Clarke canon loved Lxa, but she tells Madi she loves her SO much more than Lxa. Now she risks her greatest love Madi to war in order to save Bellamy. Here’s the equation. Clarke loves Bellamy>Madi>Lxa. We have two equations using actions to prove a primacy in love. Clarke love Bellamy more than all of her other great loves. Bellamy loves Clarke more than all of her great loves.

HOWEVER B/E comes back together to fight. As a couple. It is a couple reunion, but not as romantic as their first reunion, or their goodbye. THEN, they are fighting together and it isn’t romantic. And from there to the end of the season, the B/E romance disappears. 

HOWEVER, Bellamy learns that Clarke cares for him so much that she called him every day for six years. That changes his perception of Clarke, and how Clarke feels for him, and when she urges him to come in, he says, broken, I can’t leave them behind. “Not again.” With the understanding that leaving HER behind was the trauma that he can’t do again. 

So where did B/E go? It doesn’t matter. It’s literally not important to the narrative. Echo literally goes to sleep. B/E is frozen. What is important. Bellarke’s intimacies of saying goodbye to their families and their connection that is still there. And THEN them waking up TOGETHER and facing the loss of Monty, the revelations, the new world AND the commitment to be better, to be the good guys, together.

Known: B/E is a canon relationship. Clarke loves Bellamy and has been pining for him for six years. Bellamy loves Clarke but has moved on though he cannot ignore his feelings for her. Bellamy CHOSES Echo, but Echo keeps disappearing from his story while he focuses on Clarke and their relationship.

HOW do I know Echo is the romantic obstacle and Bellarke is the endgame rather than Clarke being the romantic obstacle and B/E being endgame?

Because the story focuses on the deepening relationship fo Bellarke, while his attachment to Echo stops it from moving forward. It focuses on the FEELINGS of Clarke about B/E, but not the feelings of Echo about Bellarke. It is never even presented. Her feelings are absent, when if her ship was endgame it would be about her feeligns at least partly. Now we do seem BELLAMY’S feelings, but his feelings which start out as about Echo vs Octavia, who hates Echo, shift and become Clarke vs Echo... evenn though Clarke does NOT hate Echo and accepts her just fine. So what is the conflict?

The conflict is that he can’t have competing feelings fo Clarke if he loves Echo. That means his feelings are ROMANTIC.

YES. He does choose Echo near the end of s5. This is because Clarke leaves him to die. Not because his feelings for her are not as strong (remember C>O>E) but because HER feelings seem to show she doesn’t care about him. UNTIL Madi spills the beans, and then he shifts back to Clarke a bit, even though his choice is STILL Echo.

Bellamy loves Clarke but thinks Clarke doesn’t love him so he chooses Echo.

Clarke thinks Bellamy loves Echo and not her, so she refuses to show him or admit to him that she loves him and she attempts to move on and keep him as her “platonic” soulmate.

Echo loves Bellamy and Bellamy loves Echo but Echo has no idea Bellamy also loves Clarke or that he is deciding between Clarke and herself. She has no say in this narrative. It’s not about her. It’s about Clarke and Bellamy. She thought the problem was Octavia. And while that’s a problem, it doesn’t affect Bellamy’s feelings for her. 

Echo has done nothing to make him not love her. Their relationship has remained stable. The only change is that there is another love in the equation. That Clarke’s existence puts B/E into jeopardy means that the Bellarke love is AT LEAST as strong as the B/E love. Possibly more... the love equation says more, but we will get more proof of that in season 6.

When we actually see the love triangle thrown into comparison CONSTANTLY. S5 had Bellarke and B/E separated. We got very few shots of them all together, and when we do, it’s Clarke’s jealousy and dismay on display.

However in s6, right from the beginning, the shots have all three of them in view. With Echo between Bellarke or Clarke between B/E often. Oddly, we also see Echo supporting Clarke. Or not that oddly. They’re a lot alike. She’s not competitive with Clarke, though. Even though there IS a competition. She does’t know about it. We see Bellamy choosing B/E with Clarke on the outside in ep1, but by the time they get to Sanctum, we start to see Bellamy choosing Clarke, or Clarke AND Echo (come look at this echo) with his focus on Clarke not E. We see him REACHING OUT to Clarke. (commiserating about raising their adopted kids without school, then the radio calls conversation which she runs away from because she’s scared.) Even in the eclipse psychosis, he goes after Echo first, but then turns his attention to Clarke. Murphy gets in the way as he always does, but he ignores everyone else. 

As time goes on, though, we get a NEW dynamic. He’s starting to argue with Echo. It’s over Octavia mostly,  but Clarke and Bellamy use Octavia to speak about their feelings for one another, without admitting them, so is that happening here? He’s using the argument over Octavia to express his feelings of frustration and distance with Echo?

Look. I’ve been showing you the love triangle. It is a CANON love triangle, which means B/E is romantic and requited and Bellarke is romantic although it’s unrequited. 

I need to show the love triangle in order for B/E to be A ROMANTIC OBSTACLE.

But just showing the love triangle means it could be B/E that is the endgame and Bellarke that is the love triangle.

How do we know this isn’t the story? 

Well aside from the love equations. We see Bellarke get closer while we see B/E bickering constantly over tactics, over octavia, over feelings, in season 6a. Clarke talks to him about her regret over the pit. The making amends scene is actually pivotal in their relationship. In the C/B/E love triangle. 

He accepts Clarke’s amends, and her claim that he is so important to her. He didn’t want to talk about it. But she is open and they are intimate. Cut to Clarke being PHYSICALLY intimate with Cillian, and Bellamy looking on with all sorts of emotions in his face. Sorrow, happiness, pining, regret, jealousy, acceptance, longing, who knows? And we IMMEDIATELY get Echo coming up, trying to talk to him about Octavia, and him turning ViCIOUS on her, blaming her for not being human, not being emotional, not being open (which clarke just was and is.) He’s STILL watching Clarke.  B/E is falling apart, not because of anything that Echo did, but because of something that Clarke did, again. HER actions are the deciding factor, and HIS emotions are where the choice is coming in. Echo has no control over it. Her emotions don’t matter. Her actions don’t affect it. He is not a character who has agency over this storyline, over her own relationship. This scene leads to Clarke being betrayed at the same time that Bellamy apologizes to Echo and Echo, FINALLY, opens up to Bellamy about her past. 

For the first time, Echo has agency in how her relationship goes, and Bellamy admits he’s a dick and commits to Echo. NOW. If this story were ABOUT B/E as endgame, this would be the point where their relationship rises to new heights and becomes stronger.

Instead. Clarke dies. And Bellamy’s attention and emotions go to CLARKE. Even when she’s dead dead, all he can think about is not having Clarke, how it’s not living, Echo comforts him but it goes nowhere. Instead, we see him grieving ALONE. Echo is willing to destroy everyone, but Bellamy chooses what Clarke would do, and keeps everyone safe. 

Until he finds out Clarke is alive, and then all bets are off and it’s a race to bring her back, canon, “you only care about Clarke.”

Yeah.

True.

Another pivotal scene. Bellamy leaves Echo to take care of their people and goes with Josephine to save Clarke. Echo says “Go save Clarke,” which is a parallel to Clarke telling Echo to “go save him.” Echo let Bellamy go to Clarke the same way that Clarke let Echo go to Bellamy. 

We’ve now switched who the primary relationship is. It’s Bellarke, not B/E. Echo and Clarke made the choice to let the other woman “have him.” They gave up their claim.

Everything we see with Bellamy and Josephine acts as if Bellarke is romantic and the true love in his life. An epic love compared to Josephine and Gabriel DOZENS of times. And Bellamy’s last ditch save her from death scene is GLARINGLY romantic in the way that all the best fairytales are romantic. 

There was never anything to compare to this in the B/E story. 

The next morning, Bellarke talk about leaving Echo and spacekru behind to save Clarke, and Bellamy still isn’t willing for her to risk her life to save them, although she insists, and they agree to do it for Monty. SO MUCH INTIMACY. And Octavia witnessed it.

Their goodbye is more romantic and more intimate than Bellamy’s reunion with Echo, even though she was STATED as at risk and being in danger. She almost died. And all she got was a hug, much like he’d hugged Harper after the fighting pit. 

The hug when Bellarke is reunited, however, is cast in romantic buttery light, with emotional close ups of their faces, and a rather intimate discussion of feelings and pain, with a parallel to their OTHER hug outside Camp Jaha, which was one of the pivotal moments in their relationship. 

This in contrast to the pat on the back he gave Echo before this, and how Echo, who is standing right there, disappears from the scene.

The final scene after this Bellarke intimacy, has B/E back together. ExCEPT there is NO initmacy. He’s the leader, she’s the soldier. No feelings. Just defense and tactics.

From the beginning of season 6 to the end, Bellarke and B/E have switched placed. on the non-romantic/romantic scale. Comfort and intimacy goes to Bellarke. Team work goes to B/E. 

THE JOURNEY of the love triangle switches from the primary leg being B/E with a side order of Bellarke partnership, to Bellarke with a side order of B/E partnership.

Technically, because we’ve had no time to sort out all these emotional issues with B/E (although we kind of have with Bellarke) B/E is still the canon ship. 

But that’s just a matter of dealing with the plot point. Because the NARRATIVE is now about romantic Bellarke, and all that’s left to deal with in regards to the B/E romantic obstacle is how it ends. (And for Echo’s side, she has been focusing on Ash, and her own independence. They have set her up to have a self empowered storyline, which means she does not need and should not have a king anymore. Bellamy is her king, even now. And she needs to be her own person. Which means B/E is doomed even without Bellarke.)

Thus I have shown why C/B/E is a love triangle. Why Bellamy needed a relationship ANY WAY. I take for granted that Clarke was in love with Bellamy and he was her fantasy boyfriend over the time jump. That Bellarke is romantic as is B/E, that the show has created a love equation for both of them. How the love triangle is shown in s6. How B/E fades while Bellarke grows, and that B/E is the romantic obstacle while Bellarke is the soulmate endgame. 

I’m so tired now.

[sugarandspice-games]

Spicy take time (costarring Sugar): The Bros rated by how well I think their arcs/character development/relationship with MC was written and how much it makes sense. (Disclaimer: Our affection for these characters and how interesting, compelling, and lovable we find them has ZERO bearing on this list. ALSO, beware, here there be salt, IE, this is critical of the writing. It’s also long as fuck, so if you just wanna skim and read the bold parts, that’s okay too. You are also free to disagree with us as this is just an opinion, and keep in mind that we have only read to chapter 24 so if there are elements of the story we are unaware of... please be understanding of that and don’t spoil it.) Let’s get started, shall we?

1) Starting at the top is BEST BOI IMO: Beelzebub. So, yeah, in terms of character development and growth, he really doesn’t change all that much, aside from starting off not trusting MC to slowly opening up to them about his trauma. But putting that to the side, his relationship with them makes the most sense. After sharing a bedroom and helping him open up, as well as having the mutual goal of protecting Luke, and then even later going on to save his beloved little brother, it follows that he absolutely adores you afterward. Also, he doesn’t start off disliking you like some of the others. So, all around, he makes the most sense. He’s also one of the deeper characters with his backstory, even if I wish they’d give him other flaws than just being hongry (and playing his unhealthy eating habits/coping mechanism as a joke. Disordered eating should be taken more seriously, especially binge eating but that’s a can of worms for another day)

2) Second best is probably going to shock you, but Satan takes this spot. Why? Well, strictly in terms of arc progression, his relationship with MC starting out as one of manipulation and growing into something more genuine when they go on a heartwarming and wacky adventure together with his hated older brother which causes him to open up makes a lot of sense, at least more so than some of the others. While I wish they gave him more meat characterization wise, I think his arc was pretty well done in terms of story structure.

Okay, so, Sugar here. While I agree with Spice that Satan could use some more meat (and that we should be able to have some more information on Baby Satan because we all need that in our lives), I think that the progression of him and LUCI’S bond (not MC’s) could have done with more subtlety. While I appreciate him softening up, and see that progress, we don’t really get to see the tension of the newfound change and how he settles into letting things go/mellow out and I get it-- it’s a dating sim and the secondary relationships are well, secondary, but it would be interesting to see him and MC bond more through time.

3) Third place probably won’t be all that shocking, because this is where I’m placing Lucifer. He’s arguably one of the characters in the series who’s gotten the most love from the writers, having the most screentime, the most affectionate scenes with MC, and the most fleshed out backstory and characterization as well as fleshed out relationships with each of the characters. His relationship progression with MC also takes a nice, even pace, with him slowly learning to trust them and respect them, culminating in an almost-confession (I THINK. Unless I’m reading that part wrong) and then being shattered at MC’s betrayal, and then earned back in true Pixar-movie fashion by them teaming up for a common goal. HOWEVER. And this is a big however. I would love to see his unhealthy tendencies addressed and NOT fetishized. (Don’t come at me with that “BUT THEY’RE DEMONS THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO BE EVILLLLL” dude. If a demon being in a healthy relationship is where you draw the line in terms of believability, then why are you playing a fantasy demon dating sim anyway?) I love him, I stan him, I simp for him, but I wish he had at least apologized for his not-subtle threats of physical violence toward MC rather than jumping straight into the ALSO kinda violent “You’re mine and nobody else’s” gimmick.

Unlike some men (SPICE), I am actually not a Luci stan and while I do have a soft spot, and understanding of his place as an eldest sibling... I would also like to see the writer’s unravel the unhealthiness/coping Lucifer has in place and why/how it came to be. I feel like we get a sense that Luci has thawed since coming to the Devildom but we don’t really see how Lucifer in the Celestial Realm (and how his friendship with Simeon) has progressed. Luci has a lot of love from the writers but from a story stand-point, he is never really allowed to be weak and own up to his own flaws and how that has impacted/hurt MC.

4) Sharing fourth place is Leviathan and Mammon! I’m putting them in the same spot because the issues I have with them are the same, though I plan on addressing their good points individually. But since my beef is simpler, I’m going to start off with the bad. IMO, a good rivals to friends to lovers romance happens in STEPS. You start off from not getting along, to then finding some things in common, and gradually coming to respect each other, and then like each other, and finally love each other. This... doesn’t really happen with these two, and while we see the change from both tsundere boys starting off disliking you and eventually coming to love you, we don’t really get that inbetween that makes the payoff so much worth it. And if those inbetweens are there, the story doesn’t really tell us that, and it doesn’t show us their thought processes. Like, how much would it suck if in pokemon, your charmander evolved immediately into Charizard upon beating your first few gyms? It’s like that.

But as for the good, Levi’s arc makes sense because you’re the first person to really let him be himself and not shame him for the things he loves. You let him ramble about his interests and show interest in them yourself (AT LEAST IF YOU’RE NOT A FUCKING MONSTER. I’ll let Sugar talk more on him, that’s their boy.)

Whoo, boy. Here we go! For whatever reason, the otaku became my favorite and I love him, but as far as arcs go... He could have gotten a bit more screentime and progress. It makes sense that he would become attached to MC as his brothers are very, very... critical and patronizing about his interests. He is also by far the most skittish and introverted of the bunch, coupled with his sin and seeing all the ways he falls short (in his eyes) is a recipe for loneliness and desire for companionship/friendship. While I am not happy with the progression, for me, it makes sense and I would also have loved to see some breaking/softening of how much his Sin influences him when it comes to MC. I’m not saying erase it because demons are meant to give in to temptation but some reassurance and acceptance of that would be good.

(I also know that there is some disk horse about him guilt-tripping you about spending time with his brothers and while I agree it can be hard... It definitely isn’t on a painful level. Like, say... Ray’s in Jihyun’s route in Mystic Messenger. This also is a difference for players who are interested in one love route versus the many route and different strokes, but I digress.)

As far as Mammon goes, well, you’re his first. And he’s not only glad that there’s someone who’s kind to him instead of making fun of him, but also takes pride in having someone to protect. His puppy crush going to full blown love is adorable.

This blog is all about spicy takes, yeah? Well, here’s mine (Sugar): Mammon is lovable but not as lovable as he could be and before all the Mammon stans, come for me- let it be known I like Mammon but his introduction and how he comes to be soft is NOT an easy, or believable transition. There are ways to write a good tsundere and the writers just missed the mark by having Mammon be too callous and then slipping to lovable without that sweet slide into the other end. I will not deny he is very cute, and a good character, and a good brother (and also the most human, according to Satan’s home screen interaction) but... The progression and endearment factor is lacking because of the structure of the narrative.

5) Is another unsurprising one, but this spot is Belphegor’s. Solmare. My dude. Why did you do this. We could have had it ALL. It could have been great. But you screwed the pooch. You took anything good about this relationship out behind the shed and shot it like a lame horse. Let it be known that I LIKED Belphie and MC’s alliance to get him out of gay baby jail, and I adored that love he still holds for Beel... I thought he was going to be a fav of mine, in fact. But how they handled the... uhm... murder ruined it for me. I’m sorry, I just cannot believe that I’m supposed to suddenly be besties with the man who manipulated me and crushed me to death like, a week after it happened. What if I have PTSD from that??? Also... he claims that he loves MC for who they are and not because of Lilith, but that’s not believable when his whole turning point is finding out that they’re Lilith’s descendant. The change needed to be more gradual, and having a subtle, gradual forgiveness arc would have been AWESOME but we were robbed. ROBBED I TELL YOU!!!!!

Annnd... Belphie is actually one of my favorites FOR SOME REASON. I DON’T KNOW MAN. I agree that we could have had it and I’m like (Insert Hades red flaming hair gif here). The decision to not have a redemption arc ruined it for me and while I love Belphie and his softness/brattiness mixture with handling MC... It is underscored by a lack of believable affection and the payoff of struggle on both Belphie’s part and MC’s. Also, there is a lot of ‘You are not who I want you to be, but it’s good enough’ with MC regarding their lineage and connections to the brothers and how that plays out/color the relationships with maybe the exception of Satan and surprisingly, Mammon that irks me but again, another thought for another time.

6) Aaaaand last and also the least... Asmodeus. “YOU GET NOTHING!!! YOU LOSE! GOOD DAY SIR.” --Solmare to Asmo. The writers neglected him SO much, I like him but what the hell are they doing? There’s so much that could be explored here, and with anything involving Asmo they’re like “I do not see it”. His love for MC also isn’t really that believable when his turning point is realizing that they’re powerful. It doesn’t even fit with any of his potential conflicts. The Diavolo’s castle arc set us up to think that Asmo would have some deep seated insecurities with not being able to be loved or desired by everyone, or maybe some insecurities about not being an angel anymore, or some vulnerability issues or something, and they were just like NOPE. It doesn’t make any gotdamn sense! I just... Grrr. Asmo, I’m so sorry, sweetie. You deserve better.

Asmodeus definitely deserves better and I will stand by that until the day I stop playing this damn game. While I, personally, think that his intrigue with MC makes sense (because he is lusty-- probably not just for sex but in general), it makes sense he would want someone with power but while the set up is there, his character falls flat because there is no bonding moment, or turning point for him at all. His affection for MC is still that playful, carefree, flirty persona he carries and I would love to see it dropped and how his fall from the Celestial Realm really weighs on him and an arc where he and MC talk about vulnerability and the power behind being seen as someone attractive and the way it dehumanizes you at the same time. It could be good-- hell, it could be great-- but it was killed before it started and I will never not think that Asmo could have had some KILLER growth. As it stands, he has more connection/romantic potential with Solomon than MC.

Anyway, that’s all for now folks! Feel free to yell at us in the replies, you know you want to. If this post blows up enough, maybe we can rate the undatables (though they don’t have any story arcs so... that would be a challenge.)

[keiscait]

Hi! I just wanted to say from the match-ups I have seen that you are such a great writer! If it’s not too much I was wondering if I could get a living room and bedroom matchup for a male character. If both are too much, feel free to do one whichever one you feel like you can write better. I wanna do this anon so the emoji you can use for me is: <33

Info:

Pronouns: She/Hers

Personality: I am a very goal orientated person and I can become very hard on myself sometimes if I don’t achieve things as well as I wanted to. I tend to be quiet but not shy per say. I do not have trouble talking to people and making friends and I can become very outgoing but in the friend group itself I usually keep to myself. If I am comfortable with you I will make witty remarks and make fun of you in a playful friend banter kinda way but I would like to say I am a good listener so I can get serious real quick. I am really big on trust and I used to trust too easily and now I am a bit more closed off where it is a bit harder for me to trust others.

Relationships: When it comes to relationships, I believe in communication and I haven’t had a big problem with it in the past. I wouldn’t mind a small pda such as hand holding or a small kiss here and there but nothing over the top because you gotta keep the important stuff private ya know. My love language is quality time because I tend to be really busy once school starts and so making effort to see each other even through our busy schedules is really important to keep the relationship healthy.

Hobbies: I believe that you need a good balance between work and play though so some other hobbies I have are painting (acrylic and watercolor), baking, and skateboarding. I also listen to music everyday and watch like an episode before I go to sleep if I have school but binge watch on break. I also try to game a bit too like league, minecraft, and my switch. I also like hiking and runs in the mornings before class because it really clears my head and I used to be on the swim team but I don’t competitively do it anymore.

Bedroom: I believe I would be a switch that leans more submissive. However, I am really cautious to do anything because I need to trust them to be submissive. I would consider myself very open to different kinks and what not and aftercare is a must. I’m not super into degrading because I’m sensitive af. I just would want someone who is observant with me and my body as well as someone who helps me with my insecurities. Once I’m comfortable though I definitely become a brat. Just want someone who would manhandle but still tell me i’m the prettiest girl they’ve ever met hahaha.

Zodiac: Pisces (sun), Cancer (rising), and Leo (moon)

Hogwarts house: Ravenclaw

Future Plans/ Dreams: I am working to become a biomedical engineer one day to help make medical devices to help people. Right now I am leaning towards possibly doing physical therapy and making prosthetics.

Looks: I’m 5’6/5’7 and have a medium build. I am tan kinda like a honey color with black wavy/slightly curly hair that is about at my breast length. My eyes are hazel but mainly light brown and I have pretty big doe like eyes.

Sorry if it’s too much or too little but thank you so much! and I have such respect for writers so keep being you :) HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND STAY SAFE

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Hello and welcome, my darling! So sorry for the long wait, and thank you SO MUCH for your kind words! (⌒‿⌒)❤️ Let’s get right to it then! ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶

I was reading your description, and I think the person I had in mind for you also fits your bedroom matchup!

Our lovely guest keeping us company in both rooms is...

(Runner up: Ushijima Wakatoshi)

Kageyama is a very complex character. He’s one of the few characters ever who we actually see slips back into his old bad habits every now and then, but is immediately remorseful and shows signs of him knowing better. He’s always striving for progress, and he understands more than others what it’s like to dislike your past self.

- Tobio here is somehow both incredibly observant yet so fricking DENSE

- I imagine that however it is that you two meet, he’ll be super formal at first. It’ll take a little while for a romance to build because he’s not used to opening up, and he’ll need to really trust the person for him to let his walls down

- however, as soon as you guys establish a friendship, he’d be drawn to you and how goal-oriented you are, especially since he is, too

- He’d take interest in you, notice all your little quirks, and would even find himself blushing whenever you playfully tease him

- Problem is, he has no fucking clue why HAHAH

- I love him sm but boy doesn’t know what it is to like someone

- Hinata would try to explain it to him and he’d just be like cr- cru--... c-CRUSH?? ...what is that?

- Man is in desperate need of wingman someone help him

- Anyway, once his friends get Operation: Get Tobio A Girlfriend in motion, he just turns into his pouty blushy self whenever he sees you

- The other boys will probably go overboard that he’ll be forced to take matters into his own hands

- The confession would be a damn mess but in an adorable way

- He’d 100% yell his feelings at you while pouting/blushing

- You’d have to shush him TBH 

- shush him with a kiss maybe? that’s a great way to shut him up ( 　･ิω･ิ)

- Kageyama_Tobio.exe stopped responding

- anyway I think he’d just be such a soft, protective boyfriend, especially since you’re kind of quiet

- You two would understand each other so well. He’d protect you and your quiet side, while you would help him be more relatable in order to make friends. It’s also perfect that you two are both goal-oriented, because then you’d be on the same page when it comes to co-dependence/independence. One would understand the other when it comes to pressure, deadlines, and hard work, and you’d just be super supportive of each other all the time

- I think you’re better at communicating than he is, so you may have to inform him a bit on how it should work between the two of you. He’d pick up on this really fast tho so no need to worry! Kags has got you ;)

- Dates would be really productive ones. Study dates, work dates, workout dates; anything that would be beneficial to your improvement

- Early morning hikes with Kags :’( beautiful

- He really appreciates that you’re not big on PDA because that puts a lot less pressure on himself to be someone he’s not. PLUS I imagine he’s the same as you, who really treasures the private moments between the two of you because you’re both so busy

- Once you guys have some private time, he’d take it as an opportunity to release all his pent up energy and emotions. He’d be so needy and clingy when he knows others can’t see

- ( 　･ิω･ิ) ( 　･ิω･ิ) ( 　･ิω･ิ) also u kno whassup when you guys finally get some private time ( 　･ิω･ิ) ( 　･ิω･ิ)( 　･ิω･ิ)

- I don’t think Kags is the very kinky type. He’d be a dom, but I don’t think the freaky stuff would really appeal to him, especially if it’s degradation, since the man worships you?? He’s just like... why tho 

- He may get into some stuff that emphasizes his strength, mostly how he grabs you and handles your body

- Picks up on your sweet spots really quick, and I imagine he can even deduce which parts are sensitive without you having to tell him

- Apologizes if he ever makes you uncomfortable :’( he’d just be SO tender and protective

- I don’t think he knows what aftercare is, or like the specifics of it, but I think despite that, he’d just naturally want to take care of you and check in on you afterwards. He’d ask if you’re okay, if you need anything, if you’re feeling any kind of pain, if there’s anything he can improve on. And he’d definitely scan your body for any bruises.

~

You were walking home from an exhausting day at work. 

There were more than a few setbacks today - an annoying coworker took credit for your hard work, your precisely detailed schedule wasn’t honored by others, and because of this, you weren’t able to have lunch. It was now 6:30PM. The rain poured as you waited at the bus stop. You were famished, soaked, and, quite frankly, so done with this day. 

You sighed for what felt like the hundredth time. You were so out of it today that you haven’t had the chance to check on your unread messages. Your boyfriend, Tobio, had left a few missed calls over the past hour, causing some worry. He didn’t usually call, given how busy he was all the time. You texted him first to check in.

You: Everything okay, bub?

K: Yes. Sorry about all the missed calls. Where are you right now?

Y: At the bus stop near my building. Why?

K: Which one?

K: Never mind. I see you

What? You whipped your head left and right, then saw your boyfriend’s figure standing a few meters away, umbrella in hand. He was truly a sight for sore eyes right now - he wasn’t wearing anything special, juts his usual tracksuit, but he was wrapped in a scarf and held a soft expression on his face. It was just the warmth you needed right now. He jogged over to you, closing the umbrella as he made it under the roof. 

“Hi love,” you started, “what on earth are you doing here?” A huge weight seems to have been lifted off of you.

He didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you, rubbing your body to give extra warmth. Pulling back, he took off his scarf so that he could wrap it around your neck. 

“It’s been raining all day but I noticed you left your umbrella at home. I was hoping to catch you before you left work so that you don’t have to walk in the rain.” You couldn’t help the smile that was erupting through the exhaustion. This felt like an all new Tobio. “I guess I was a little too late, I’m sorry.”

You shook your head. “No, don’t worry about it. Thank you for thinking of me, bub.” You allowed yourself to slump onto him, wrapping your arms around his waist. You felt him loosen up, strong arms making their way around your form. You looked up at him without pulling away. Your big doe eyes stared into his blue ones, totally sinking into each other’s gaze. He planted a small kiss onto your nose. It wasn’t normal for you to be so affectionate outdoors, but right now, it seemed apt. You scrunched up your nose in response.

Had it not been for the honking of the bus, the two of you could’ve cuddled in the rain for much longer, ridding each other of the lousiness of the day.

~

I hope that was alright with you, darling! Thank you so much for trusting me with your matchup. Hope you’re having a wonderful new year so far!! Please don’t hesitate to sit and have a chat with me anytime ❤️

Thanks for stopping by! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

[thejustmaiden]

I am pro-Sessrin and appreciate your analyses because you have valid points and convey them in a respectful way. I'm sorry that some of my fellow pro's aren't able to reciprocate, it really just makes us ALL look bad. Unfortunately, a lot of people in the fandom aren't capable of maturity - part of why I feel the need to be on anon as I don't want to get flamed. Sessrin IS problematic and shouldn't be condoned IRL, but ship what makes you happy and don't be an ass to strangers online.

Hey there, nonnie! If you're the same person who sent me that DM, then yes, we actually have crossed paths on one (maybe two?) occasions. I'm not sure if we've spoken directly with each other before, per se, but I do remember you all the same. Btw, you aren't taking messages which is why I couldn't reply. If you're not the person in my DM then my mistake! haha Regardless of who you are, I want to thank you for reaching out to me. 😊

I really appreciated your kind words. It means a lot coming from a sessrin shipper. After all, the goal of my blogs isn't to create more division than already exists between us but rather the opposite. If they're only meant for other antis, then what would be the point?

Plus, why would I want anything I post to add fuel to the already blazing fire? I'd prefer not to see this fandom continue to go up in flames over this ship if I can help it. Anyway, it's always a relief to hear I'm not the only one who feels this way!

A lot of us on both sides are clearly very invested in this, but we need to remember that spewing hateful remarks gets us nowhere. By no means am I perfect, but this is why I work even harder to make sure my blogs are as informative and objective as possible while refraining from name-calling. Otherwise, fans are way less likely to take anything I write seriously, which means everything I hoped to achieve goes right out the window.

There's just not enough good and healthy discourse taking place. I've seen and been a part of some, but it's too few and far between. We ought to do better, and I have no doubt more of us are capable of it, too. 😌

I agree, we all should have a right to ship whatever makes us happy. I think Sessrin shippers believe antis don't want that for them but that's NOT TRUE. It may not seem like it at times but please believe me when I say this:

ANTIS ACTUALLY DO ACCEPT YOUR CHOICE TO SHIP SESSRIN

We may not like it, but who are we to say you can't? What we don't accept however is how those shippers try to pass it off as some sort of pure and healthy relationship. Portraying a pairing that has very harmful grooming implications in a positive light is a big no-no. That's what so many of us- and not just victims of child abuse or Westerners- have been trying to tell you all along.

It's just like you said, Sessrin IS problematic and wouldn't be condoned in real life. So it should be represented as such, because sending the message that romance is a completely normal progression from the adult-child bond they established is plain wrong.

We need to keep in mind that there are many young viewers watching this show. And by young, I mean under 18. Although a lot them of them aren't technically Rin's age but older, that does not take away from the fact that they still lack the ability to fully think critically for themselves as they're still learning how. This makes them much more susceptible to the influence of predatory behavior. So if ever in a similar situation in real life, why wouldn't they be okay with it? If mainstream media keeps showing them it can be an acceptable and beautiful thing, then why shouldn't they believe the same? We're the adults putting this content out there in the first place, and it's our example they follow.

I totally get why some of you don't want to think too deeply about any of this since it can really start messing with your head. These fictional worlds are supposed to be an escape from our real world problems, right? Well yes, but only to a certain extent. It is still of the utmost importance we closely consider and properly address the major effects and correlations of fiction and real life, as well as the profound impact they can have on each other. They're significantly more linked than many of us realize. What else could explain why Antis react the way they do? We take it personally, because simply put, it is personal.

I'm known to be quite the rambler lol, so I think it's best for all of us if I stop myself here. Thanks again for this ask and also the DM (unless that wasn't you). You're more than welcome to read my other blogs on this topic if you haven't already- and that goes for all of you reading this. I'm interested to know if you have anything more you'd like to contribute to the conversation. Feel free to get back to me in DM, nonnie, if that's more convenient for you. No pressure, this is of course only if you want and feel comfortable in doing so. Alright, bye for now. Hope this finds you well!! 🖖

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #404

“death doesn’t answer when i cried for help”

The person you had the strongest feelings for dies, do you care? I'd be fucking devastated. It wouldn't feel real. Is there something you’re happy about at the moment? A few things. I'm still on that high of my APAP mask working, like I'm actually getting some fucking quality sleep, and I think I'm noticing the effects of my TMS therapy finally, too. My PTSD has most notably been much more bearable, and my interests are beginning to spread again. Do you want someone dead? No. Do you ever wonder what your ex is up to? I mean yeah, I think that's pretty normal, even for someone without my issues. Have you ever fed or taken care of a stray animal? Oh, many times. What is something you tend to worry about? My health and future. What is something you do that is unhealthy? Sit at the computer for way too long. I'm absolutely certain my vision is as poor as it is partially because of me endlessly staring at screens. What is something you do that is good for you? I'm not afraid to prioritize my mental health. What last caused you to force a smile? I was watching a Mark video for the first time in a while and was just reminded of how much I love and appreciate that moron. What was the last video game you played? Was it fun? Because you said "video" game, I guess I'll exclude computer ones, in which case I'm pretty sure it was Silent Hill 2. Given it's one of my all-time favorite games, of course I think it's fun. It's one hell of an emotional ride. What is something not many people know about you? The fact I was a dancer for many years would probably surprise people once they have a good idea of me and what I like. What word describes your basic style? Lazy, honestly. I dress for comfort, and given that's usually just pj pants and a tank top... yeah, I don't put much effort into my clothing when I'm going most places. Have you ever been told you were going to Hell? She kinda beat around the bush, but yes. Have you ever wanted to kill yourself? On more than one occasion. If yes, what convinced you not to go through with it? Well, I did OD once, but on the other occasions, it was the fear of the unknown that deterred me. Have you ever rejected a guy, only to have him push the issue by asking “why?” and insisting that you just need to get to know him better? Omg no, thank god. I would NOT handle that well. Is there something that you believe everyone should do and you can’t believe that some people don’t do it (e.g., recycle or go to the dentist regularly)? I didn't know 'til a survey question asked it that there are people who don't brush their tongue when brushing their teeth. Like holy shit dude, there are SO many germs on your tongue, clean that shit. Regarding the last good choice (healthy choice, kind choice, selfless choice, etc.) you made, what was your real motivation behind it? Ummmm the nearest that comes to mind is I guess taking my meds? I mean I do that every single day, but it's still a healthy choice for me. The motivation was because I am very serious about doing what I can for my mental wellbeing. What is something that you have had to practice at to get the hang of it? If you can’t think of anything, that’s okay, what’s something you are currently practicing at and trying to master? I really can't think of something for the first half of the question, but I can tell you that right now I'm attempting to force a routine of applying a therapy technique called "opposite action" into my daily life, where you, well, do the exact opposite of what your depression tells you to not do. It is WAY harder than it sounds, but I'm doing it with reading 30 minutes a day! Have you ever gone to the store to buy something, like a video game, when it came out at midnight? Not to my recollection, no. Regarding the last novel you read, was there a romance included? If so, was it central to the plot? The last novel I finished, yes. It wasn't central to the plot. Have you ever done relaxation meditations or listened to relaxation guides or positive-thinking/healing recordings? No, except in therapy when different therapists wanted me to experiment with it during a session. They just don't work for me. Do you have any interests that are also often shared by children? Yeah. Those are the one I'm especially self-conscious about. there something that could be a solitary activity but you really only like to do it with other people (e.g., watching movies, playing video games, etc.)? Watching movies or TV. Are you satisfied with the interior design or decoration in your home? Or do you think it needs a total home makeover? A makeover would be nice... Is there something that you’d like to own but you can’t find it anywhere? If not, can you a remember a time when you wanted something? Did you ever end up finding it or did you eventually stop wanting it? OKAY SO I actually have seen this custom-made once long after deciding I wanted it, but it was RIDICULOUSLY expensive. There's a location in the Silent Hill games called Heaven's Night, and I'd love love LOVE to commission someone to duplicate the neon pink sign of it to hang in my room. Hopefully one day I could still do it. Who makes you smile the most? Probably my cat, honestly. What piercings do you want/have? I've talked about the piercings I have, but I'll talk about those I want. My #1 is absolutely collarbone dermals, but as I've explained a billion times, I want to lose weight so the bones are more prominent for the sake of contrast; you can't really see my collarbones now, so I just think it'd look pretty dumb and random to just have random piercings somewhere around there with no dimension. I also want way more in my ears, dermals in my back dimples also once I've lost weight, my right nostril for the dozenth time (but this time I'll wear a hoop), and while I'd absolutely adore an undereye microdermal as well, it'd be pointless with glasses. :/ What's your favorite website? KM is my pride and joy and really feels like my online home, so despite using sites like YouTube more, that 'ole RP site has to be my fave. Do you own a fish tank with fish? No. I had fish bowls (AWFUL idea) as a kid, but never tanks Do you like the movie 300? Never seen it. Do you pop your knuckles? NOOOOOOOOOOO. I absolutely hate the sound. It makes me cringe and shiver. Do you have Photoshop? Yes. It comes in the Adobe CC photography bundle I have. Do you use tinypic or photobucket? I used Photobucket back in the day. Now I just upload to imgur. What’s your favourite song from the 1980s? You're talking to someone who adores classic rock/metal, haha. How about the 1990s? There are way too many songs to choose from. Have you won anything recently? No. How often do you make Excel tables? What for? Never. What was the last baby animal you saw in the wild? There was a poor fawn as roadkill on the highway recently. :/ Are you always available or online? Preeeetty much. Do you have dietary restrictions? Or do you just eat what you like? I can eat whatever. Do you prefer gold, silver or steel jewelry? Or no jewelry at all? Steel. I'm allergic to silver, and I think steel is more subtle than gold. Have you been binge-watching any shows lately? If so, what? No. If you dye your hair, do you do it yourself or go to a salon? I do it at a salon. If you have any, do you like your in-laws? I don’t have any. Would it bother you, if your partner had cut contact with their parents? If they had a good reason, no. Have you ever wondered whether you were adopted? As a kid I did because I thought Mom was meaner to me than my siblings, lol. What’s the best physical feeling in the entire universe? ........... This question is a setup lmfao. Have you ever grown a berry bush? No. Have you done something new to your hair recently? No. It's been the same for quite a while. I wanna dye it badly. Do you have bad anxiety? If so, do you take any kind of medication for it? I'm diagnosed with generalized and social anxiety, so yeah. I take Klonopin once and day and Ativan as needed for attacks. One thing you’ve experienced that you thought you never would have? HA, the first thing to come to mind was being noticed by Mark by making a viral (in the community, anyway) gif of he and his doggy. I shit you not, I couldn't sleep for three days lmfao. What was the last thing someone said to you that kept repeating over & over in your head? That I gained fucking seven pounds in two months at my last doctor appointment. I wanted to scream. How often do you have late nights out? Never. I'm a homebody. If you could, would you work from home? Do you think that would make you more or less productive? No. It would absolutely make me less productive. If you had the ability to change the weather, what would you change it to right now? Cool with a nice breeze, mostly clear skies, crisp air... That'd be nice right now. Is there something that you really need to do, but can’t seem to get motivated to do it? I say it all the time: finish decorating my room. It's funny, because I KNOW I'll feel more at home and cozy with my bedroom more personalized. Most disturbing movie you have ever seen? Paranormal Entity. The ending was... a lot. Has a life goal or dream ever come true for you yet? If yes, what is it? If no, do you think you’ll achieve it? Not that I can think of. .-. I hope I can achieve some... Have you ever had food poisoning? No, thank God. What are you listening to? "The Man Who Made a Monster" by Dance With the Dead. Do you think there will be a WWIII? I find it inevitable at some point down humanity's future. People are too hateful for it not to eventually. Has anyone ever asked you if you were emo? Yeah. Has someone ever liked you that you never thought would? Maybe? Idk. In all honesty, can a person be too nice? Yes, in some instances. Has one of your friend’s boyfriends ever tried to cheat on them with you? Yes, when I was around 12. And I let it happen. It's one of my biggest regrets. Is mental abuse really as bad as physical abuse? Of course it is. Emotional abuse can cut just as deep as some physical blows, or even deeper. Do you shop at Sephora for make-up? No. Zelda: Twilight Princess or Ocarina of Time? I'm actually not into TLoZ. Do you own a rosary? I did as a kid growing up in a Catholic Sunday school. If you were homeless, how would you cope? If I had no loved ones in my life and no sign of things getting better, I'm honestly preeetty sure I'd end my life.