#Narwhal talks cr

[a-tired-narwhal]

Tell me more about your feelings about the details of Caleb's backstory!

Okay listen anon. LISTEN. This is going to be LONG. Did I immediately rewatch/go back through the entire wrap up to take notes? YES I DID. Anon I'm sorry this is so late, I didn't see your ask until after the stream. I hope this finds you (*＾3＾)/～♡

----

Caleb fucking Widogast. Liam O'Brien always creates/portrays characters that CAPTURE ME. And it is purely the undertow of SUFFERING that I crave.

As a survivor of an abusive childhood, specifically with manipulation, neglect, and physical trauma, and having a controlling abuser in a position of power over you - I was surprised and delighted by Liam's playing of Caleb, and I'm sure that I'm probably not the only one, but Caleb's backstory just had me nodding along. Was not surprised at all by what was revealed about the blumentrio's relationship being trauma-bonding and probably why I'll never be an avid shipper of them. Nothing about Caleb's backstory left me gasping - because it's a relatively common abuse survivor story, except it's in the world of dungeons and dragons with high fantasy and magic and more common place murdering than today in places where most Critters presumably live.

Let's break it down.

Caleb was born as Bren to a less than well off family, who wanted their child to have a better life than them. Bren is a gifted child, and this will immediately put a bullseye's target on a child's back, make no mistake, for abusive persons. Now, I don't know if it's a pretty obvious that parents would trust in a teaching figure to take their child for that child's betterment, because I don't have parents who wish for my betterment ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, but I like to think that Bren's parents handed him off hoping for his brightest future.

Trent is basically the textbook example of a Cult Leader. Beyond the experimentation he did on his students; everything he put the Blumentrio through is how you beat down and brainwash people, especially children/adolescents. Textbook. TEXTBOOK. It was the dnd equivalent of the Hilter Youth. Now my personal experience featured the tool of isolation, so I didn't have two childhood friends to pour myself into and have threesome's with, but that's actually smart of Ickythong, because when you're left alone with your whirling brain for too long, and there's no one to hold over your head - we start thinking those rebellious thoughts, and at some point we decide we have nothing to lose, and we will do ANYTHING to shake that control. No, he left them in that abandoned tower together so they would be forced to bond with each other, as well as allowing them not to die of exposure alone.

Trauma-bonding CAN be a manipulation and used against you. Now. We have three adolescents trying not to freeze to death by being as close as physically possible. For those that don't know; sharing body heat works best skin to skin - ya get naked and THEN you wrap up together to stay insulated. Awkward groping is going to happen, and it's more than likely accidental. But when you add raging hormones to the mix, yo it's not going to stay accidental for very long (that in no way indicates non consent, it can be either way), and the feelings can catch hard when you're young and physical and EVERY HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP YOU HAD HAS BEEN TAKEN FROM YOU, IF YOU EVEN EVER HAD ONE. (I do not know Eadwulf or Astrid's home lives so your guess is as good as mine. We should probably ask Liam)

So you've got horny teenagers, with above average intelligence, being systematically abused... Bam. Trauma-bonded Blumentrio.

BUT HERE'S THE THING. Trauma-bonding can only get you so far. And they are children, actively being raised to NOT HAVE THEIR OWN THOUGHTS AND IDENTITIES. The relationship they built, the romantic and sexual, are based off of a shared hostile environment and survival needs. And when those circumstances are no longer there, the relationship tends to fall apart.

I love that Matt talked about Astrid for a bit, sad we didn't get more on Eadwulf - but Matt didn't really spend a lot of time roleplaying Wulf compared to Astrid, so he'd have more insight into her. I also find it interesting that the Blumentrio took 3 very different, but again SO COMMON, paths in dealing with their abuse. But that's a different rant.

Focus with me now on what Matt said about Astrid. She was actively seeking power throughout the campaign, looking always to climb that ladder to the top, for her own purposes which were not stated, and was willing to do anything, sacrifice anyone, to get that power. Was it a burden to her? Yeah I think so. Did it weigh on her? Again I personally think it did. But she was goal-oriented and she wasn't going to let anything stop her, not even herself, and she hated Trent. Matt implies that all three of the Blumentrio did/do. Astrid, Wulf, and Caleb were wildly different people - I don't think they would have stayed together even if Bren had stayed Bren instead of becoming Caleb.

I know A LOT of people were miffed over how Liam and Matt showed Caleb's and Essek's love for each other; and I am SO glad that Liam touched on this; Essek reminded Caleb too much of Astrid and Eadwulf. Now I know we love to joke that that Redhead Dirt Wizard has a Type (smart, ambitious, vaguely amoral), and believe me I LOVE THE JOKE, but Caleb pumping to brakes on Hot Boi makes THE MOST LOGICAL SENSE AND I WAS SO DELIGHTED WHEN LIAM PLAYED IT THAT WAY. Caleb was still trying to heal himself; WHY THE HELL WOULD HE JUMP INTO A MESS CALLED ESSEK? That's some mf UNHEALTHY, TOXIC romance trope ya got there. People fix themselves, not each other. THAT'S WHY CANON SHADOWGAST IS SO GOOD. THEY ARE WORKING TO IMPROVE THEMSELVES FIRST. THAT'S SO HOT.

Ahem.

So the Blumentrio hangout in Astrid's room to sex and study, in threes and twos (I have weird polyam questions, Liam). Now, I'm foggy on the exact timeframe that was together at Academy > kill your parents > Bren is chucked into the Sanitarium; but it's clear that after the murdering of parents, Bren is tagged as the "weakest link" - maybe he broke because he actually loved his family/had a loving family, maybe the manipulation spell from Ickythong didn't sit on him as well as Astrid and Wulf, maybe boi wasn't made for killing (a lie, the boi is a total killer, you have to be in most dnd campaigns), who knows. But he broke, and Astrid and Wulf handed him over - it would be dangerous for them if they tried too hard to protect him.

Because in that environment, in those circumstances, in that set up; you do what you have to, to survive. You hurt people you love, you hurt people you don't know, you even hurt yourself if it means improving your own odds. It's instinct. It's not your fault. You are doing the best you can with what you have available.

I don't hate Astrid and Eadwulf; I just have more emotional attachment and investment in Caleb, and prefer the color purple on him.

Which is actually a great segue into THE WOMAN AT THE SANITARIUM WHO FREED HIS MIND; Matt Mercer you beautiful man, thank you for giving us a Moonweaver connection, my lil widomauk heart was sent aflutter! So, here's the thing. Places like that, sanitariums, psych wards, etc - if you are not certifiably insane before you go in, you will be eventually. One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest is not a fucking joke. But the thought of some forgotten Moonweaver Cleric recognizing Bren's torment and just, poof, dissolving that spell? *Chef's kiss* glorious, wonderful, everything I needed.

Anon, I don't know if this is what you wanted or expected - but here it is, my sincerest apologies 🐳

[a-tired-narwhal]

I DIED LAUGHING

JUST IMAGE EVERYONE'S FACES AS THEY REALIZE/CONTEMPLATE THIS

A non-exhaustive list of things that the Mighty Nein will now need to explain to Molly:

‘Nott’ the goblin having always been Veth the halfling

Veth being married with a child

Fjord’s accent change

Fjord’s patron change

Who Caduceus is

Who Essek is

What the dodecahedron they carried around for a month was

‘You know how when the war broke out, you immediately wanted us to not get involved in any way whatsoever? About that…’

Why Yasha’s wings and hair are different

The Gentleman is Jester’s dad

Fjord and Jester are dating now

Caleb and Essek are ‘It’s complicated’-ing now

Beau is a secret agent

Jester’s god is actually an archfey (and a weasel, sometimes)

How different his friends are now. They’re not the self-interested assholes they once were, and it’s so much to do with him. He made one remark about leaving things better, and they took that and turned it into a rallying cry, made it a mission. It inspired them, it steeled them. They became people who stopped a war and prevented the awakening of an evil god. They touched so many lives and finally saved the world. They’re not what he remembers. They’re brighter and braver and kinder and so, so much stronger

‘We definitely told our two new members about the time you put egg on your dick, and we gave them absolutely zero context.’

[dailybestiary]

Nekomata

To say I am a cat person is an understatement.  (If I did not have allergies, I swear I would have five.  And I would be creepy about it.  Like, I’d name them all after Roman emperors and give them each their own Instagram account.  ���I should stop talking now.)  

But even I am willing to acknowledge that yeah, if you die in your house with only your cats around, they are probably going to eat your corpse.

The nekomata goes one better: It doesn’t eat your corpse; it animates it—just by licking it!  Oh, and the animated corpse is a free-willed juju zombie or skeletal champion, because of course it is.

But let’s go back a second.  A nekomata comes about when a cat lives past its allotted lifespan.  Should that happen, the cat becomes an evil spirit, grows in size (with its tail splitting in two along the way), and begins casting spells and taking on the shape of nearby humanoids.  It then goes about humiliating them, ruining their reputations, driving them mad, killing them, and then animating the corpses—starting with the family that loved and cared for it.  And after everyone is dead, it picks a new family and starts all over. For no reason than that it overstayed its welcome in life.  

In other words, it’s a goddamn CAT-LICH. With a SNUFF-CEST FETISH.

Now that’s a monster.

I love having a fresh shapechanger-that-impersonates-your-friends-and-neighbors to work with, especially one with a bit more CR heft than the doppelganger.  I love the friendly housecat suddenly becoming a malevolent beast merely because it had its claws too deep in life to die.  And I’m a sucker for any living creature that creates undead—lookin’ at you, pukwudgie!—and the fact that the nekomata creates intelligent undead is just icing on the cake.  And since it’s a reputation destroyer, put it in any context where honor and shame are on the line—samurai clans, knightly orders, paladins on crusade, etc.—and it can do damage in your campaign that far outlasts a single encounter.

This would also be a killer monster for a solo adventure or one-shot. Next time you want to run a game for just one player, or if one character needs a side quest for character development or XP catch-up, the nekomata is waiting

Beset by orcs from the Wastes and fevers borne by the yearly swamp flooding, the city of Engelyn prospers because of the ceaseless labors of Kelman the Robed.  With no heir to take up his mantle, he has extended his life twice through dangerous magic so that Engelyn remains protected.  But the same magic preserved his feline familiar…with dire consequences. While Kelman was away fighting orcs, the cat became a nekomata under the black of the new moon.  The magical creature then triggered the wards which seal Engelyn Castle from disease, trapping the duke’s family and his retinue inside a magical bubble.  Now the nekomata stalks the halls in stolen shapes, murdering as it goes and creating undead monsters in its wake.  Adventurers in the duke’s service must act to save the duke’s family—and themselves—or the entire household will be slaughtered before Kelman can return to undo the ward.

Adventurers are on the trail of a necromancer…or so they think.  Actually, they hunt a nekomata that was once a barge cat.  The nekomata happily goes from town to town along the river spreading undeath.  If it realizes the adventurers are on its trail, it tries to frame them as necromancers instead.

A nekomata impersonated Lord Tono, and its actions nearly sparked war between the Third Shogunate and the ninja clans of Cliffreach.  Outraged, the shogun demands Tono cut his hair and make the Walk of Repentance or be executed.  Tono plans to acquiesce, but his son, First Lord of the Admiralty, swears to lead the navy in revolt if his father is so shamed.  Tono’s wife, once a renowned geisha, uses her underworld contacts to recruit sellswords to find the nekomata and prove Lord Tono’s innocence before the Walk occurs.

—Pathfinder Bestiary 6 201

There are hints of Daniel Polansky’s Low Town in that first seed.

Also: Hey, nekomata, whaddaya say? / I just got back from the auto-da-fé

That’s been in my head all day, and now it’s in yours.

Switching gears entirely, have you guys been following Lindsay Ellis?  She always kills it, but she’s been killin’ it to the killeth power lately.  For a critical one-two punch of awesome, check out her look at the male gaze in Michael Bay’s Transformers franchise and her take on the theme of fatherhood in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.  Both are must-watches.  (And since I referenced Mel Brooks’s Spanish Inquisition song, maybe check out her take on his movies, too.)

And hey, Shanah Tovah to my Jewish readers.  5777 wasn’t exactly an easy year, so best wishes to all in 5778.

Oh, and if you’re looking for the narwhal, it’s here.

[a-tired-narwhal]

*sobs into oblivion* so apparently I'm not okay with this yet -

Ngl I can't wait to rewatch it once the vod is up I'm just going to lay here, tears streaming down my face, as I rewatch all weekend long

[a-tired-narwhal]

As a queer/polyam person - I get so mad when ppl whine about cr2 "queerbaiting" or "not being queer enough" - GTFO, don't like don't read, you're being v gross. Original poster's tags slap.

Every single time. I see a CR cast tweet on tumblr, go to the original tweet to see the timestamp, and end up getting upset by the entitled, angry, and accusatory replies. Why are supposed “fans” like this? The cast work so hard and pour so much love into this show and there’s always people waiting to angrily demand they change it, I just don’t get it.

[a-tired-narwhal]

Same ^^^^ this 1000%

I’m not going to go on my full rant breaking down every detail, but people saying Caleb (and let’s be real they actually mean Liam) treats Astrid with more importance clearly haven’t been paying attention imo. The cast and the fandom treat Astrid with more importance while Caleb has always treated both of them roughly equally, but because the m9 treat Astrid as more important she becomes so. I could spend paragraphs breaking down exactly why this is, why it isn’t the cast or the fandom or Liam’s fault, how Caleb was played exactly true to character as a “guarded person”, and how this all came about. But I’m bad at articulating and don’t want to fuck up my point, so I’ll just say this isn’t about queerbaiting or bisexual attraction to the same gender being treated as more important, it’s about how improv games are freeform and shit works out a certain way sometimes, in my opinion. 

[a-tired-narwhal]

^^^^ THIS ^^^^

I'm waking up from a nap to find the critter "fans" slinging disgusting hate around again? Y'all need to sit down ??? If you want to rp explicit mlm romance in a game:

Go 👏 Do 👏 It 👏

No one's stopping you ??? If you don't like how someone plays THEIR OWN CHARACTER in THEIR OWN GAME -

GO PLAY YOUR OWN GD DND GAME. LIKE THE REST OF US HAVE ALWAYS DONE BEFORE CR. GO WRITE YOUR OWN ENDING IN FANFICTION. LIKE 👏 THE 👏 REST 👏 OF 👏 US 👏 HAVE 👏 ALWAYS 👏 DONE 👏 LITERALLY 👏 SINCE 👏 THE 👏 1970S 👏

BETTER YET, GO PUBLISH YOUR OWN CONTENT. WE CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MUCH CONTENT.

What is wrong with people ???

I rarely talk about disk horse on main but as someone with an English Lit degree, an overenthusiastic Shadowgast shipper, and also a reasonable human being, I’d like to say the following.

When Liam said Caleb and Essek would “be together” for a while, I IMMEDIATELY understood that he was speaking of a romantic relationship. It was very clearly said, and I commented on it to my friends the second he said it.

Now I go on social media and see people ripping into both Liam and Matt because “it was too ambiguous,” so for them it’s not GOOD ENOUGH queer rep. First of all, it was stated clearly IN CANON. Second of all, and I want everyone to listen to this:

THEY ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR PERCEPTION OF THEIR NARRATIVE.

It was clear to them, it was clear to me, and if it wasn’t clear to you, then YOU are the one responsible for that. This is a game of Dungeons and Dragons, not a scripted show that requires fanservice. If you want something more classically romantic with big, sweeping gestures and true love’s kisses, YOU CAN PLAY YOUR OWN GAME!

Matt and Liam were faithful to their characters’ personalities and backstories to the end. If you didn’t find it satisfying, that’s fine! But that’s on YOU. This is not your story. You are free to tell your own.