#Oh it’s good? Ok. Ah i see it’s bad because there is a literal alien ‘intruder’ to the idealized society
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really funny that i read skyward inn and the seep essentially back to back, both of which were concerned with physical transformations removing individuality but skyward inn sucks and was just about xenophobia + the seep was like. an actually interesting character study about the ways in which loss of individuality was a concern specifically for flawed reasons for one specific person. we all hate skyward inn LOLLLLLL
#pers#there’s still parts of the seep i dislike but because trina is a flawed and deeply judgemental person#and the story is aware this is an issue that is making her life miserable. watching her grapple with that was fun!!!#skyward inn was like Heyyyyy now why is this society specifically imitating british pastoralism are we critiquing that or is it good.#Oh it’s good? Ok. Ah i see it’s bad because there is a literal alien ‘intruder’ to the idealized society#who is breaking it apart and ruining it. Sure. Alright then. Are we done yet#i finished that book waiting the whole time for the switch to flip and it didn’t 😭
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Welcome back my madlads, today is our last foyer down emo nostalgia lane as my next post will likely be on Gerard’s solo album hesitant alien and his singles. Today we’ll be doing an mcr medley, any song I missed because it wasn’t on one of the main albums and also covers they’ve done. I’m excited to see what all is left so let’s get this started.
So this is kinda an eclectic mix of songs ranging from every snowflake is different to desolation row. I’m excited to listen to what’s left which does include fake your death and foundations of decay. I am hopeful maybe we’ll see a new album on the horizon but if not it was nice to feel a part of this sphere during this comeback. We’ll go by date and start with the songs that aren’t dated as they remain unreleased.
Note I’ll likely be very unfamiliar with most of these covers, the exception being all I want for Christmas because Mariah Carey is an scp and she lives in all our brains.
The Drugs: ok starting off, this one kinda rocks man. Good opening guitar. Ok is pretty good, but I’m pretty neutral on it. I might just be a lil over saturated on mcr after all this tbh, it may take a lot more to wow me now.
Sister To Sleep: ok this one is real difficult cause of my audio processing issues, I literally have no idea what’s being said, audio too crunchy. It’s probably a bop tho. Maybe I should have listened to a video of them playing it live instead.
Still Alive: ok so I literally could not find any reference of this on YouTube, oh well maybe one day some of these will get studio releases.
Jack The Ripper: ok cover time, let’s see what this one has to offer. Pretty groovy, not bad so far. Oh ok I think this one is gonna fuck. Once again my autism ears not liking crunchy audio. Again not bad I’m neutral on it, maybe if I was capable of hearing properly I’d like it more. It can’t be helped.
All I want For Christmas Is You: Ah yes, the cursed texts. I’m excited to hear their take on it, but I feel like every time I listen to it normally I take psychic damage. His voice is magic, gritty in the best ways. Slam me with the fucking guitar in the face man cmon do it. Yea this one is bop. I like it it, it’s nice. It’s not blasting my tits off but that’s fine.
Astro Zombies: ok next song, maybe this one will obliterate my shit. Ok got guitar. Oh this one kinda rocks. Got a good groove to it. Not bad, again we’re in like nice/good tier.
Under Pressure: so this song has a reputation, and yet I still haven’t even listened to the original. So of course time to listen to a cover. Oooooo I like this, oh fuck yea. This is what I’ve been waiting for! It’s not melting my face but it’s super fucking good tho!
Desert Song: ok acoustic time, this one is about to knock me on my ass into my feelings ain’t it? Oh this is beautiful. Also I’m getting some serious foundations vibes, “did you come to stare or wash away the blood” and “let it flood, let it flood, let it wash away” feel like parallels. Ok it’s somber and beautiful but it isn’t putting me in my feelings thank fuck. But this and foundations really do feel like sister songs. I really enjoy this, oddly relaxing in a way.
Song 2: this seems like another with crunchy audio, let’s hope I can understand what’s being said. Oh hello, guitar fucks. Oh damn, sassy. This one does fuck. Oooooooh fuck yea the guitar FUCKS!!
Untitled/ Someone Out There Loves You: oooo haunting opening melody, very pretty. And the guitar fucks! Ok this one rocks, like pretty fucking good.
The Black Parade Is Dead: ok short and sweet, the killing of the black parade, a nice interlude. Welcome back from the dead you beautiful bastards.
Desolation Row: Not sure what to expect but I’m kinda excited. Now this fucks! This rocks, I like this :). Maybe I should go back through and do all the mcr music videos, because for all these posts I’ve just been doing the audio.
Common People: ooo synthy. Ok this one is ok not bad. Again pretty neutral on it, but not bad. God damn the guitar is going nuts tho.
Every Snowflake Is Different (Just Like You): ah yes, the yo gabba gabba song. Let’s hear it, see how this goes. Yo why’s the audio so crispy. Ok new video. That’s better. This is cute, charming. It’s a good time, very cute.
Hell Hath No Fury: very short but kinda a banger, shame it’s was unfinished but what exsists is pretty nice.
Fake Your Death: damn we’re almost done, this is the last song I haven’t heard yet, before I get m6 face ripped off by foundations. Oh this is nice. Oh damn I like this beat. Man this is a fucking bop. Good song, I like.
Foundations Of Decay: here’s the last one until they drop new music boys, she’s been living in my liked videos almost since it dropped and boy does it blow our tits clean off. Comfortingly nostalgic but at the same time some entirely new and I’m so here for this glorious rebirth. Starts slow and staticky and lovely, then it drops and punches you in the face and I fucking LOVE It!!! And as the vermin crawl 😌. Shit moves through you man, I adore this song. GET! UP! COWARD!
Quite the journey, and I’m really hoping it isn’t over just yet! There were many songs, some ok and some that make me feel like I’m getting hit in the gut. This has been a wonderful journey from birth, to Black Death, to our own little Renaissance. I look forward to where we’ll go from here but for now, I must say goodbye. From here on I’ll be listening to the solo music of each of the members, my next post should be hesitant alien. It’s been real my madlads and my top 5 of this medley of songs are…
1: Foundations Of Decay (obviously)
2: Fake Your Death
3: Desolation Row
4: Desert Song
5: Under pressure
Man…it’s finally over. Well I guess I’ll see you madlads back with hesitant alien. Maybe I’ll see you back with a new mcr album if we’re lucky. It’s been a joy going down this walk down emo memory lane with you all, lots of love ❤️
#aviel rambles#aviels emo nostalgia music hour#mcr#my chem romance#my chemical romance#i’m catching up on old mcr stuff in the off chance they drop a new album post return#this sure was something#I’m honestly kinda sad it’s over#but it was a joy to do#and maybe later down the line I’ll rewatch all the old music videos since I only did audio for the song posts
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dude hear me out on the mpreg aliens bc it gen makes sense for them and I am going to explain this cause it’s kinda cool idk?
ok look as a space faring species population groups are small or non existent, so kn order to avoid dying out they had to adapt to semi asexual reproduction. The mechanics of it I could go into intensely cause it’s something a lot of my other species use if they’re spread over a wide area. To put it simple and without making it WEIRD: one member of the species has both ingredients for la child, but forcing these two ingredients together requires external actions ah la the demonic tango from hell either by yourself or with others. Or surgery. Or a lot of things actually depending on species, some guys kinda just grow little plants literally it’s like jellyfish. Anyways, to keep genetic variation since not having that is bad, the species of aliens (I’m calling them gorpos but obv that’s not gonna be their official names) can co create with other species that are similar to them. By similar, I mean neuron number to body mass (the reason why humans are so… human… is because we have a large number of neurons in compared to our mass). This is just to avoid any freaks making shit I don’t want them too. anyways, this process mixes genes and then sometimes mpreg happens wether or not someone has a womb in the relationship (or we get Yuri but like… hyenas…) because the Gorpos come from these small, like jelly looking eggs, if you’ve seen a mermaids purse (which I used to collect the fuck out of) like imagin that but it doesn’t have the horn things and it’s clear because baby gorpos are translucent. Little guys. The other thing is that like… Gorpos are like just as if not more intelligent as us, some of them just have like a thing for breeding… or mpreg… idk their their own guys they can be whatever they want to
Anyways cannibalism-
that’s another neat thing for them but first ima talk about how their mouths are set up. First thing is their tongue curls, it’s like a probiscus but it’s got this really really thin needle (basically, if they wanna exchange a language or information, they fucking French each other and stick this needle in each others brains, some can do this across species. Freaks) and it’s very sensitive. Two, their mouths are absolutely full of fucking knives. Evolution kinda fucked them over on this one, that’s why they gotta keep their tongue curled up. Three is if you see one with its mouth visible outside of feeding, run. Basically if they see something that looks like them with a visible mouth or no antenna, it’s their uncanny valley since that means something is BERY wrong (Junko).
ok so they very much are built for eating raw meat literally, and that’s what they do. Cannibalism occurs when a whelp is exposed either during the parents pregnancy or after birth in intense levels to ethereal energy. All gorpos have ethereal energy (call this god energy), and those with increased amounts turn to cannibalism to get more. This gets them closer and closer to ascension. Izuru was probably forced to cannibalize at first, but ethereal energy is more addictive than heroin so at a point you can’t stop. Once ascended, they are a god. Now this cannibalism thing actually isn’t odd for gods, who only feed on each other, like dog eat dog literally, but for most species this ain’t good. It’s not healthy either because cannibalism can have many long term health problems both mentally and physically. izuru strong but at what cost… WHAT COSTTTTT… freakiness that’s the price. also cannibals tend to give themselves more teeth, what I’m saying is that Izuru gotta be careful giving Makoto kissu so he doesnt hurt him.
Oh, I'm firmly in favor! You don't have to defend mpreg aliens against me, I promise! I would accept it if it was just for fun. (And you also don't have to avoid getting weird. We're all weird. 😊)
The neuron number to body mass thing is a really interesting way to distinguish the viable species. And I like the "If the mouth is visible, you should be afraid" thing and what it implies about how they would interact with/perceive humans. (Kind of like smiling being taken as a sign of aggression because baring teeth, etc.)
This is a cool AU! Avid supporter of Izuru "Mouthful of Knives" Kamukura rights.
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WORLDS WORST BAD BATCH LIVEBLOG - EPISODE 1
-- DISCLAIMER: this liveblog fucking sucks and to understand my thought process you need to either read it while watching the bad batch or you need to have every episodes events completely memorised -- the droids are silly
this caleb guy looks about 12 whys his voice so deep
holy shit is that the bad batch from bad batch theyre here in bad batcj
omg crosshair is there
wrecker is just heavy tf2 ?? <- guy who has never played tf2
NEEEEERD (affectionate) (directed at tech obviously)
i like this woman i like how she talks she sounds like kanaya from homestuck ? like how ive seen her portrayed. the way she says 'do what they do' as if shes saying it in quotation marks i like tgat
WHAT THE FUCK H.ES. THE GREEN GUY HE'S THEYRE KILLINGTHE WOMSN WHST THE FUCK hply shit she did a flip WHAT THE FUCK SHES DEAD WHAT THE HELL
hunter (i think ?) did a little slide in the snow that was cool
crosshair why are you shooting this kid
HOLY SHIT HE JUST KICKED CROSSHAIR IN THE BOOOOOBS
crosshair is stereotypical-queercoded-villain-core listen to him talking
why os it raining is this pathetic fallacy
OMEGA IS THERE
ADOLESCENT HUMAN FEMALE
longass alien lady hi
the guys aer arguing
'you WANT to sit with us? that's never happened before' they're just like me fr
WAR WAR WAR FOOD FIGHGT GO GO GO
echo is fucking died
gonna go to the hairdressers and ask for the hunter bad batcg cut
this fellas got goofy pants hes observing them in the lasertag arena
this is like ultrakill thats like the drones from ultrakill
THEY FUCKING KILED WRECJER NOO someon get him a bandaid STAT
i like the sparks frkm the guns
is there a guide somewhere to interpreting these hand signals i wanna do that
GET REPROGRAMMED BITCH
HE SHOT THE KNIGE INTO ITS FACELIKE THE ULTRAKILL COUNS THATEAD FUVKUBG SICK AWESOME SO COOL holy shit
i like how Sharp goofy pants mans design is
omega: let mecome with youuuuu hunter: you are literally 12 fuck off
how is omegas head thingy attached how does that work
Creature Noises ?!
tech shut UP about his programming
there's guys ???????? like a little village
i like how you can see techs eyes it makes him look less hostile which makes sense because hes a NEEEEEEEERD
crosshair is monarchist scum sorry ✌️
BNUUY THING LOCATED
bad batch ipad theyer like bts to her /j
WHAT THE FUCK HE SHOT THE LITTLE ROBOT GUY THAT WAS SO MEAN
i hope this doesn't make me start talking in an australian accent oh god
Oh there's a guy there Oh theres many guys
oh they're naked (NO armour)
omwgas in JAIL
crosshair stop being all edgy you little bitch. 'good soldiers follow orders' youve been propaganda'd so hard boy. you are not immune to propaganda garfield image
'youre angry' NO SHIT OMEGA ok he basically just said that
is omega their tgerapist now
bruuuuh they took crosshai
homeboys being Analysed
don't intensify his programming !!!!! bitchass
this is so unethical all of it
theres so much good textures on this sjow
their BOOOBS are VISIBLE
soery i will nevr shut up about boobies
PUNCH THAT WALL BOY !!
'try it again. a little harder.' THATS WHAT SHE SAIIIIID
YEAAAA WOOOOO GET THEIR ASSES
oh my god its 2am. fucking hell i need to get to snoozin
ok i will finish the remaining 10 minutes tomorrow morning. (i did not do that, i stayed up to finish it)
they done poked around in his brain !!
oh my god the textures on this. im going insane
ah hell no he sjot wrecker in the boob
OMEGAS GOT A GUN
did they just like. abandon crosshair. i mean fair enough ig itd be pretty dangerous to try to un-fuckup his brain or what ever
omega was forced to eat cement when she was 6
oh they know a guy
--EPISODE 1 DONE--
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Bro I literally just popped in the disc, I love how it is blue this time & has different music. So cool bestie.
c3x16 setup
Ok so this is the first of a twoparter.
I don’t understand why they do this weird thing & then do the “36 hours earlier” titlecard. It’s valid but weird & I’m personally not a fan. Reminds me of the alien episode tho. I’ve also watched too much stranger things. & then when beckett was there I totally thought it would be like a clone or smth. Evil twin beckett.
Car parts, of course he’s already spoken to auto theft!
DID YOU JUST CALL HIM BABEY? LP: Ooh! Did I? What did castle say? My watch is broken, I need to reset it every now & then. If I die, don’t trust the time on my watch! Noggin is such a cute word
Seven years is a long time to be not a citizen, that’s sad, you should be a citizen anyway.
What is beckett looking at on her phone ono
Ah yes, the notes app. “the father (tumblr drafts) the son (journaling) and the holy spirit (notes app)” (corpsecoded, empty blog) RC: Got it! It’s a phone number! KR: I tried that RC: with all the area codes? KR: Yeah???? KB: Castle! RC: Coming! Work wife moments
Washington heights, the place that johanna worked at! It was the cousin to get into the family! Renting shifts is so weird to me. You answer the phone & don’t even leave the room to take the call?
KB: Robbed, & shot in the head. Unus: Apples & oranges, peaches & pears. Who’s in my house? Please get out. Apples & oranges, pizzas & pies. Get out of my house or I’ll kill you in the head.
Ew cops should not be allowed to lie. Mm, I should go back to improv. White boy in high school.
KB: Sorry guys... I have to take this (girl u take calls all the time) KR: *literally just walking to the observation room where beckett, esposito, & castle All are* KB: Sorry, Ryan. Not now. (That was So Soft) KR: ... RC: What’s up with her? JE: You know Beckett. She plays it close to the vest. KR: *looks back to where beckett left; looks over to where esposito also just walked off; holds up a finger* RC: KR: *tells castle instead bc he had it in his head that He Was Going To Share This Information & if he doesn’t do that then Things Will Go Wrong, another point for the adhd ryan headcanon, & besides Castle is basically a detective too now* RC: ... So I’ll tell beckett that KR: Could you? That would be best Why? bc he’s closer with her or she likes him so she won’t bite his head off? bc u have other stuff to do? bc he has better stuff to do obv
Where did he get that much money??
Ew hidden surveillance
Alexis is so pretty rn! Serenity DX DX Oh no, what kind of spiritual retreat...? Lmao alexis & rick, physics physics Oh! Physics exam! what a good dad, taking the fall for her RC: Best dad ever
OK NEW DAY Castle’s jacket looks great today. Checkered dark grey on darker grey. Dr motorcycleboy Oh no they be fighting.
Up the wazoo??? Who wrote that line??? Remaining costume update: Beckett’s jacket is nice, esposito is chill (but also has a dress jacket which is valid but kinda looks odd with the zip-up shirt he’s wearing), ryan is soft & sweatered but dressed nicely as usual, montgomery is the way he always is. Driving a loop, that’s sus!
This man is a college student & I love him
I cannot see easily where he is packing. I’m surprised montgomery noticed but then again they are cops & live in the usa.
Beckett if he was hiding it she probably would NOT know what it was, because, well, he was Hiding It.
JE: Cwoffee shop But how did you find that out??
*casually hands it to castle* At least she is asking for his permit to carry Syrian consolate, our guy was syrian too. Why didn’t he just say “no”?
Love ryan’s jacket over his stuff & esposito looks... interesting but not bad but def not normal
Ew secret police. Oh did ryan change his jacket since this morning? That’s odd, it looks like a normal jacket. I like the light pink collared shirt & then the cute sweater over it. It’s just so good. But they sure have him in sweaters a lot these coming episodes. Ah. Soccer Oh woah wait that was an odd whip! They made it look like the c4121652 was written twice. In reality, it was in the center. Everyone: So? Who types with their fingers & then HITS ENTER WITH THEIR INDEX FINGER? (I just spent ten minutes on hacker typer.) Storage unit? Who owns a moving company? the cousin!
That is disturbing. Why do you find that hot castle? WHy? Altho I can see in a normal way, some strong woman willing to weild bolt-cutters like that, she’s def hot, but that is not disturbing, what you find hot you say is disturbing & that’s really weird. & the first key is the right one? Al capone’s vault Totally valid for castle to stand like that. Dead body Or That! RUN BABE! Ok so she just has a geiger counter on her & it wasn’t crackling until it hit max? Like she didn’t just do a little bit at first? Well ig it took until she poked the thing... Why did she sound so aaaaaah anyways?
Well if you are not throwing up then you’re going to be fine
Who is this rando? Ah, DHS. Come on, cooperate my dude, I know you look pissed.
At least they gave them benches. How long did it take for them to set this place up? To be honest, grandma’s plateware would max out a geiger counter that cheap.
I have a question tho, he opened his notes app right before he was killed. Was HE renting the locker? He was not. He just found out about it that evening! Montgomery my beloved. RM: Just to be clear, are you taking over? DHS guy: No my friend JE: ICE sent over papers KR: He was a weapons guy. DHS guy: Now I’m taking over
RC: Well we will when it goes off, in that nanosecond before we’re vaporized. (Except it would not be enough time for your brain to fire off the signals for you to know) Girl talking about something else should not be about her personal issues. But at least it is turning out nicely. You are people. You don’t need to measure up. GEORGE CRABTREE MOMENTS, HE ALWAYS FALLS IN LOVE WITH DRIVEN WOMEN & THEY ALWAYS END UP CHASING THEIR DREAMS & THIS POOR MAN DIDN’T GET A WIFE FOR SO SO LONG SO LONG BESTIE Hun you need a QPR
Oh wow they’re fine. See? I told you their radiation counter would max out at old-timey dishware.
Alexis says “late night?” & then martha is leaving on a short roadtrip & castle is going to be heading back out there like when do these guys ever sleep? Oh good dad! Spend time with your family before y’all die. Or Also Send your daughter out there! Get her out of the city under false pretenses!
I had a radiation hyperfixation at some point. Speaking of Jenny, do we get a wedding episode? I’d love one like in Sherlock (the sign of three). Smart boys, all of them have tried to get their gals out of the city. JE: Didn’t work. She hates her mom. Dying laughing Did they only tell the homicide ones or did they tell the rest of the cops...? idk how bomb threats work. That’s valid! Kick him off! Castle you-... !?
Mum said that the baby was the bomb meaning there was no baby but I took it to mean that they gave surgery to the baby & implanted her with a bomb but that was silly. B’y beckett is the hard scary bad cop, she is a woman yes, but that does not mean she is the soft one who is designed to reel you back in. Greencard baby. “I never loved your mom. We had a baby to escape communist china!”
I thought they said it was a cash deposit, not wired... I love how castle is doing work on the computers today. Feels good to see. (the fbi: we’ve been trying to highlight things for years, but all our highlighters were black!) also just noticed: ryan is TEACHING castle how to “do grunt work” as he’d say
RC: An arab terrorist, who would believe it? JE: Think back bro RC & me: That Was My Point daisy-chaining, interesting verb RC: It’s not that well hidden if I can find it Could you be a terrorist without Jenny knowing?
GIRL YOU’RE UPSETTING THE BABY BABE REEL HIM IN GIRL SHE’S REELING YOU IN LISTEN TO HER WAIT YOU SPEAK ARABIC THAT’S ACTUALLY COOL HOLY FUCK & THAT’S SO COCKY OF YOU TO GIVE HER A HANDKERCHIEF mum said it was for tear dna also who is agent geiner? some other dhs one? EW DON’T BUG PEOPLE. PLAYING? BRO I HATE THIS MAN
Six hours before u & beckett got there but no time stamp? Ah yes, lead.
Ok so six hours before caskett got to the storage container, jamal was there. Then agent fallon said twelve hours ago he disappeared. So it’s pretty late. That scene with his face? He’s in on it. He’s the terrorist. Driven, good coop. As a person? Kind of a douche. That’s cops. In their job they might be great but they are often douchebags & upholding a bastardized system.
True!! Sadly not literally sweating bullets, but metaphorically yeah, if he knew what he was transporting he would have lost his dickens!
Oh the military did it. Definitely. Where are u going castle? I didn’t understand this here. I like the music too. Really good.
Run what down? The phone? He said he bought the phone, not that he credit carded the phone! Checked it out twelve hours ago? Fits with the timeline Ryan notices that castle is gone? & cares to ask abt it?
Oh it’s the consolate guy. I like how he’s having a fancy coffee at a regular old bar. This man is great. Talking, being as open as he can be despite his issues. What skills are yours...? I actually really respect this guy.
Oh... did he catch you or does he think you were making out? Keep your voice low. RM!!! He thinks outside the box <3 Lol castle was bluffing XD
Beckett says “martha” not “your mom” here. Ooh genius little man! Didn’t they just do this last episode? They went on their own to solve a case abt raglan (not raglan, johanna). Nice photo lol. RC: It’s like our own mini precinct KB: Except it smells better
Why does ryan grab fallon’s arm like that?
Except that people often forget about cab drivers, wait staff, mail personnel, etc.
Oh so y’all are planning on going to the warehouse where he was murdered? Haven’t you already been there & hasn’t csu checked it out???
Ok, you would have already heard the helicopter before it went into view.
Just like al capone’s vault bestie.
So whose car is that? beckett’s personal car? she has a car in new york? White van, dun dun dun!!! Oh it’s a bomb. 13 hours. It must be pretty late. Has anyone ever slept? & gunshots. It seems dangerous to shoot at them with a bomb right there. btw music design is cool. Tin is not great. Which door??? Ooh nice camera shots! Weren’t they shooting thru that box? Bro... they locked u in? DANG SOME FROZEN GUY! (& some fun audio!) Ooh so smart! Ripping off a tape job on the van!
Ok so that is the end & this box is a freezer. Is it a delivery truck box? That would make sense. I’ve been in walk-ins, I’ve had my fair share of cry sessions.
Welp that is the end of the first episode of this pair!
Again, the music playing in the episode selection bar is great. It really talks about the show. Sneaky, silly, & sexy.
not rly many clips here...
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Genuine question but like, do u have any general Protectobots headcanons u wanna talk about? I just never see anything w them for the most part /gen
Yeah! The reason you don’t see them much is they REALLY do not get a chance to shine in any media. Most of their g1 eps feel very ‘oh shit we forgot to sell these toys’; aid and blades are really the only two who get actual character arcs.
Fanon interpretation draws a lot from their official description and the cheesy sweetness of those eps. They’re the only combiner with more defensive capacity than offensive, and they’re built toe to tip to help humans. It lends to this fandom image of the boys as gentler, more comfortable around people than other cybertronians, and much kinder and loving towards each other.
ill chuck some longer takes on each of them under here ⬇️
Hot Spot: Big time dad energy; 25 year old boomer. He’s described as super energetic and invested in his team and they adore him in return. He can be a little out of touch like a high school PE teacher who thinks clapping at you is gonna make you enjoy running, but his heart is never not in the rights place. I don’t have much to say about hot spot mostly because that energy and motivation is a lot more apparent when you see it survive the really dark times. He’s a good boy, big baby blue border collie bot.
Blades: he’s the ‘bad boy’ but literally only because he’s standing next to 4 squeaky clean poster children. He’s like a cat; you need to play with him 3 times a day and give him somewhere high to sit and he’s very funny and sweet. Otherwise? Fight picking time. I like to think they have the aerialbots come over once a week to tussle with him and get all that energy out. LOVES teasing aid in the most pigtail-pulling embarrassing way possible. The cat analogy just works so well here I don’t have much else to add fhdhhdhdb
Groove: AH! This is the pacifist of the protectobots!! The official description that says it’s aid is totally wrong because Groove is the one with the philosophical streak and aid fires guns constantly. Groove sunbathes sideways on the floor in his alt mode; he’s a Garfield who’s read every Ursula Le Guinn essay. He roams and does fuck-all, and he likes to challenge people who take issue with that. Does a cybertronian need a gatling gun to be worth something? Can a mech not just be a motorcycle sitting very stoned on a cliff at sunset? The most frustrating one to argue with.
Streetwise: I’m making streetwise ACAB i’m sorry, i like him too much and he’s so nice. He’s just a dorky little Ford pursuit car and he can switch his insignia around to get past human barriers. Streetwise does the most legwork for human relations; he’s actually learnt the languages, not just auto translated, so he can better grip the cultures he’s interacting with. He talks to humans and lots of them, and he monitors when intervention would be good and when they need to stay out of it. There’s a pretty wobbly ethical issue with having 5 huge aliens just show up when there’s smoke; humanity is more complicated than that, and Streetwise does his best to make sure the Protectobots can keep operating while maintaining the trust of the people.
First Aid: Ok pulling off my kin tentacles for a moment. Aids a very empathetic bot, and in the g1 show that manifested as a lot of gentle motherly behaviour but we also have that IDW characterisation adding an edge to it. He processes his emotions externally, which is to say Aid observes the way he feels very closely in a detached way and uses that to empathise with others/manage the wellbeing of his team. As with many people who do this, it leaves an emotionally organised person; a bit prim a bit polite, very ASD/OCD. Aid also has a complex relationship with violence; he abhors seeing the waste and destruction of war, but he’s trapped himself in ritual. He might not want to be a soldier but he definitely wants to be swept off his feet.
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Do you like the backstory for rick? Idk I kinda preferred it when Rick's past was a complete mystery and i dont really care about diane at all. I didn't expect the writers to actually write a canon for him either but I guess they realised how much the audience wanted one for him
Ajdjdjeidjs ack, I'll be honest I'm not... keen on it.
(Bolly-quinn actually puts it into words well how I feel about Rick's backstory here)
I liked the mystery element of his backstory! I know it's always exciting to have things in canon, but like... it being open to interpretation was something I always appreciated.
And... ugh, hoo boy. I'm torn. I mean, I love that Rick is completely different from what dudebros and like- "high iq" redditors present him as. He's a man who loved his wife and daughter, loved them so much he would rather give up travelling the multiverse, becoming a genius scientist, just to stay with them. He was vulnerable, soft, and caring. He wasn't nihilistic and reckless and selfish and some "alpha male who wouldn't let anything tie him down". He was ridiculously romantic, optimistic, sweet and loving, and maybe even kind.
And I don't give a shit.
I don't! I don't care. This might sound incredibly cruel and unfair, but I don't care that Rick lost his family.
Ok- let me explain.
I'm... disappointed. I'm disappointed that losing Beth and Diane is all it was that made Rick into the complete and utter monster he is today (or the start of the series anyway). I don't mean to undermine his loss and grief- at all! It's just... for him to go on a (seemingly decades long) killing spree, slaughtering any version of himself he seemed to come across... christ. Maybe in his eyes, they were all as bad as that One. Which is understandable. I'm very lucky to have not experienced that kind of loss. I haven't had to Grieve the way Rick did. Maybe I just don't get it, because I've never felt it. That's fair.
It just felt... god, I don't want to say excessive. I know, people process grief in different ways, and for some it manifests in unhealthy ways, some lash out at the world, fixate on trying to find an explanation, to find justice, etc. And I like how Rick was an absolute inconsolable wreck at first. Something like that, it needs time to process and overcome before you can start moving again.
I just- I don't know. Something rubbed me the wrong way about it all.
It's like- it's not that I wanted Rick to have spent all that time partying or something. It's just- argh, i don't know! Maybe someone else can put it into better words lol.
I hate that he immediately jumped into not giving a single shit about other people (save birdperson and squanchy!). Like- when he blew up those aliens who gave him whatever it was he needed. Ah- ok, they probably weren't exactly innocent or anything, but still. I think it was just I felt if we ever saw Rick's backstory, I'd want it to be a slow decline into who he is, show him gradually losing so much of his morality and becoming so jaded. Idk i guess i just wanted it to be like, a series of significant (and lesser but still important) events that lead to him going down that path rather than- this ONE thing that just apparently completely ruined him? And yeah ik ik it was a BIG thing, but like- i guess i was expecting.... more? Maybe something like idk Rick trying to save all the other Beths and Dianes and failing, idk, just... something more.
I actually would have preferred it if Diane lived. I dont know, I just- man I really hate the dead wife/daughter turns ordinary man into callous asshole trope. I agree, it's hard to really care all that much for Diane, and for a while I couldn't understand why. I thought, idk, is it internalised misogyny? Do I just not like Diane because I want to ship Rick with someone else?
I think I get it now. Diane, for all her significance in Rick's backstory, just... isn't a character. She's just- the motivation Rick needed to kick off the story. You could replace her with literally anybody else Rick could have loved and it wouldn't feel any different. She just doesn't feel special. She's no more unique than any other Dead Wife. We get nothing, literally nothing of her. I kept thinking, why? Why does this just not hit that hard? Rick's had emotional moments with Beth, with Birdperson, even with Summer and Jerry. And then I got it- it doesn't feel earned. It felt like how you feel when you see side characters or extras in the background of an action movie die. Maybe some faint sadness, but mainly nothing. We as an audience get nothing from Diane, we don't know her, don't get to see how she matters to Rick, don't get to see her relationship with Rick, we don't get any chance to connect with her character. So when she dies and Rick gets his montage of seeking revenge, it doesn't feel earned. It feels more like I'm being told about how this guy suffered than really seeing it (which i believe, may have been the writers intention actually...). It's kind of like a feeling of "damn that sucks bro... and?". There's no real heavy emotional response that I could really get from it...
I actually would have preferred if Rick and Diane broke up, divorced. I feel like that would offer so much more for them BOTH as chatacters. Instead of their relationship being happy and sunshine and rainbows until a Big Bad came in and took that away, I'd prefer it if Rick's downfall was just... his fault. (Actually His fault.) If his marriage fell apart because he couldn't make it work. If he estranged his daughter because he couldn't properly handle fatherhood, despite loving her. If he was flawed, terribly flawed, because of his own misjudgement and shortcomings. I guess my biggest problem, is that this is presented as someone having the perfect life, which is then taken away as a result of someone Else. It's too easy to then say, oh, it's not his fault he's like that! He had his heart broken, his life ruined! He lost himself in a revenge spree, poor thing... I'd have rathered if it was just a little bit more... realistic? If Rick had been the root cause of his own problems. If he'd experienced tragedy, but also been the cause of much more. I just wish there'd been more of a balance? It just felt so rushed. And not because of the montage- it just like Rick became completely apathetic way too fast. I just hate hate HATE the "he was a good guy with the perfect little life until tragedy struck and he was never the same". Rick never made the effort to improve his life, to do better, to be better. He's actively a cruel, callous, unkind person (complex, yes, but these are traits no one can deny he harbours). He's done far worse than was done to him, and that will never be justifiable to me... it just all feels so very cliche and out of place, and out of everything, this was the one thing I had hoped they wouldn't do.
I think the writers are aware of this, strangely enough. I mean, Rick even calls it his "crybaby backstory". I think they didn't want to leave it open any longer, and just got it out of the way. I don't think they really want to elaborate on it anymore. From what I predict, they want to focus on the here and now of Rick (and Morty, haha), and the development of who Rick is NOW, instead of who he WAS. I think they kind of just went, here's your gut-punch, your tragic backstory, now leave it alone. Diane is dead, Rick had a hard past, the series is about moving on and change. Now can we PLEASE get back to the sci-fi shenanigans?
(There was something I LOVED about the backstory though, and that was the soundtrack! Like the music for the Battle of Bloodridge, it fucking SLAPPPEDDDD. I can't imagine making synthwave emotional, but it actually kind of worked! The swell of the music actually did a lot more for getting a reaction out of me than the content lmaooo. It kind of reminded me of Kurzegast's "optimistic nihilism" for some reason... I actually liked the Bloodridge track so much, it got me a little into synthwave, which i never listened to before! The music producers this season have just KILLED IT!)
#citrus speaks#long#ajdjsjdhaj im sorry i just have so many Thoughts on this#as critical as it sounds i promise i dont hate it that much#rant#is this a rant? it sounds like one akdnaja#RaM#Rick and Morty spoilers#rick and morty#RaM S5 finale
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the escapades (m)
pairing — jimin x reader
genre/warnings— smut (oral, fingering, orgasm denial) & college!au, fratboy!jimin, brief e2l, brief ewb, acr universe
summary — the one where there’s a lot of unresolved sexual tension, until there isn’t.
notes — 8.3k words of the happiness before the storm i couldn’t write. i realised halfway through this there’s a slight plotwise change in comparison to what i wrote in acr so. yeah. sorry. kudos to you if you find it lol
The first time it happens, you’re pretending to be someone you’re not.
You’re sitting near the end of the table, crossing your legs and playing with the hem of your dress, your lips twisted into a frown. The real reason lying behind the simple decision of having a single, almost infinite table of guests doesn’t, in the slightest, cross your mind; why your idiotic brother would see this as a delightful idea really is above you, but you suppose the valuable genes in the family runs all in your DNA.
You’re playing with the table decorations while waiting for the guests to come, and it’s so fucking boring you regret telling Seulgi no, babe, what the fuck - you even shook your head and decided to sound extra mad at the idea - I won’t sneak in weed.
Too bad for you, she had answered, a cute pout on her lips, I’ll give you an hour before you’re bored out of your mind.
The truth hangs above your head, with a sheepish grin: you just needed ten minutes to be absolutely, drastically bored.
In hindsight, sneaking in weed wouldn’t have been the worst idea: your mother is talking to the in laws, gesticulating excitedly at the idea of kids right after marriage. What the fuck, you text Seulgi, at home trying to get out of bed, my brother has been married for an hour and there’s already baby talk going on at the table.
Seulgi
[12.49]
With the baby talk comes the dick talk
You
[12.49]
Oh no the dick talk
Seulgi
[12.50]
man how can you survive your relatives talking about nonexistent boyfriends without my weed, damn???
You
[12.50]
option a: I’ll tell them I’m dating you
Seulgi
[12.50]
we kissed ONE time
You
[12.50]
option b: I’ll tell them I’m in a relationship with Jeon jungkook
Seulgi
[12.50]
bitch we both know you’re not in a relationship with the hottest guy on campus. he has dimples and long hair and piercings. my sources can even confirm he has a big dick. what do U Have
You
[12.51]
i was talking about my vibrator but go off lmao
anyway I’ve had that D ;)
Seulgi
[12.51]
you’re officially cancelled
when did this happen? I can’t believe you’re telling me over text!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You
[12.51]
last semester!!!!! why do you think I’ve named my vib after him!!!!!!
Seulgi
[12.52]
because you’re lusting after him like the rest of us mortals!!!!!!!!!!
You
[12.52]
I’ve upgraded since then. I’ve leveled up. I’ve seen things People Can’t Even Imagine
Seulgi
[12.52]
just say he got u off and go
You
[12.52]
;p
anyway option c: I scare them away by saying controversial things. Id est: I don’t believe in love. I am choosing my partner solely judging their abilities to finger me under a table when people are around. I am secretly lusting after my brother’s wife. I am trying to get impregnated like in The Sims 2 aka I am waiting for that alien dick.
Seulgi
[12.52]
hate to break it to you babe but that’s literally who you are
You
[12.52]
i
I literally compliment joohyun’s boobs once and this is the treatment I get
Seulgi
[12.52]
are we not gonna talk about your alien dick kink
You
[12.52]
no kink shaming in this house lady
option d: I listen to their complaints and run
Seulgi
[12.53]
option dick
man sorry I meant option d
You
[12.53]
you didn’t
Seulgi
[12.54]
ur right I didn’t
Option e, also known as I’ll entertain the other guests so I don’t have to talk to you, presents itself in the form of one very hot, very ripped young man sporting the most expensive shirt in the room. You’re only human when you admit to yourself, mental sigh, that he ticked all the let’s get y/n horny requirements in less than fifteen seconds.
You can’t believe Joohyun has kept him hidden for so long from you. Such betrayal ends when your brother, Kim fucking Seokjin, hugs him tight and brushes with utter affection the nape of his neck, gracing him with a warm smile and a heartfelt laugh.
You can’t believe Seokjin has kept him hidden for so long from you.
Well. Scratch that. You can.
Suddenly, the ticked requirements disappear and a giant neon sentence with a very cheap background music impose themselves in your head. WHAT A TURN OFF! they read, the neon red words mocking you; you steal a glance at your brother’s acquaintance one more time - one last time - before slipping your phone in your hands and dedicating yourself one more time at your Instagram feed, scrolling through the most recent pics.
(You stumble upon an extremely rare Jungkook selfie, and you hate to admit you spend the following thirty seconds admiring him before tapping twice on the quality content you’ve signed up for when you joined the social)
You suppose that, even though your brother’s friends with fuckboy tendencies are signed off your let’s get to know each other better ;) list, it doesn’t mean the same goes for them.
So, when the dark-haired young man with a jawline sharper than Seulgi’s retorts after her third beer sits next to you, you reckon you shouldn’t be that surprised.
He acts all casual, you notice while discreetly looking at him; he’s busy taking off his jacket and flexing his muscles, all of this while pretending not to notice you, and you find it immensely cute.
Ah, fuckboys.
“Fuck,” he rasps, lips twisted in a crooked smile, “I didn’t think it would be this hot today.”
“Yeah, sorry, the heat is on me.”
He chuckles in disbelief at your words, eyes turning into crescents.
“Right, there’s always the girl stealing the bride’s spotlight at weddings.”
“Oh! That’s me,” you nod enthusiastically, “That’s one hundred percent me.”
“Groom or bride?” He asks, pointing at the couple with his chin.
“What do you think?”
He looks at you funny, pressing his back on the seat, pondering in silence. Cute.
“Bride. One of Bae’s sorority sisters, maybe? You seem too young to be her age, though.”
“Damn,” you exhale, crossing your arms under your chest, “I can’t believe you got it all wrong. The expectations were low, but I’m still disappointed.”
He ducks his head, still smiling. “Then it’s the groom. How do you know Seokjin?”
Your eyes twinkle with excitement at your next words, but honestly, who can blame you? You’re having fun with this lost, cute chick.
“What’s your take, officer?”
He erupts into a laugh, and you drink in his handsome features; fuck you, Seokjin, for being friends with fuckboys only.
“Alright,” he punches the bridge of his nose, scanning the room, which is slowly filling with other guests. “I’m his friend, and I know all of his friends, which can only mean one thing: option a, you’re one of his ex-girlfriends; option b, you’re one of his secret hook-ups; option c, you’re an old friend from high school.”
“Oooh,” you beam, unrealistically intrigued, “You really suck at guessing, don’t you?”
He laughs, passing a hand through his dark locks, messing his perfectly styled hair. “Ok, fair. Which one was the closest, then?”
“Option d, of course.” You nod, relaxing your features into a sheepish grin, “I’m his much more beautiful and smarter sister.”
You exam his face, now twisting into some sort of what the fuck, such betrayal look, and you take in, for the last time – really the last, this time – his attractive, sculptured face, his full lips, the smoothness of his skin. It’s awful and unfair knowing you two won’t cross paths ever again in your lives, but at least you had some fun messing with him before things could worsen.
“I’ll be sitting in the middle of the table, with my family, if you want to avoid me.”
You wink at him for good measure, and you swear to god he blushes.
Half a wine bottle and two flutes of prosecco down, you realise you underestimated your resident fuckboy.
It happens when you’re grabbing your napkin and channelling your dreamy, happy looks towards the newlyweds, dancing in the middle of the room, their eyes gravitating only towards the love of their lives.
You sigh, pouting for the smallest of fractions, when you feel someone sitting at your side.
“You know,” Fuckboy begins, and you picture him licking his lips as he pauses, “Now I get why he never told us anything more than: I’m not an only child.”
“I know,” you exhale, turning to face him, “Seokwon is the real catch of our family. We’re really protective of him.”
“He’s married. With kids.”
“I was there when the twins opened their eyes, thank you.”
“We thought you were either a small kid or a forty years old woman.”
“Wait,” you tilt your head, “How did you know about us then? And who’s we?”
“We dug into his stuff and he caved in, admitting he had a brother and a sister.” Fuckboy looks at you, eyes dark but reflecting the dim lights of the function room, “Us. The frat guys.”
“Right, the fuckboys.”
He looks taken aback by your statement, bewildered, and you take advantage of his reaction to stand up and head away from him. It’s his words that stop you from doing so, though.
“You don’t know us—”
“—except I do know your pledges and your brothers.”
“But you don’t know me.”
“Maybe,” you shrug, “I prefer to steer away from my brother’s friends, though.”
“Right,” he says, tightening his lips in a hard line, almost hurt, “So, who am I to interfere with your judgmental thinking?” He clicks his tongue, then, a resolute exhale slipping past his lips, smothered by his own tingling despair.
The words hurt.
You don’t know what exactly pinched your senses hard, if the tone or the wallowing sadness swimming in his expression, but, as he stands up and leaves, you’re left facing the cold, hard truth.
The words hurt, you hurt, and you feel guilty.
You say nothing, glancing in the direction of the first alcoholic beverage around, and you fill yourself a glass.
Had it been someone else – had it been another sentence, another less sickening scenario, you would’ve felt proud, righteous. You’re, instead, on the other side of the feelings spectrum, all filled with crippling guilt and a nauseous, pervasive feeling you can’t quite name and pin down.
The guests are dancing around you, moving hand in hand to the rhythm of the pop love song now playing; the ballroom is packed when you let your impulsive side make a choice, eyes following the guy’s composed figure. You can drastically feel the sweat, and the heat the people are radiating, when you stand up and move towards him, the only smiling boy passing his glass from a hand to the other.
You’re close enough to tap his wrist and brush your fingers, which you do; it elicits a gasp from him, all soft, not scathing around the edges yet able to bite you, anyway. It’s the guilt, you remind yourself, looking for a sign of some sort of inclination to accept your apologies between the crease of his brows and tight jaw, and everywhere in between.
It’s sickening—this boy didn’t exist four fucking hours ago. It didn’t even cross your wildest dreams, someone like him. His shape – his silhouette – has left a print in your mind, and no matter how hard you try focusing on something else, someone else, your mind keeps going back to the shape itself.
But you’re a coward, so, while he lets you intertwine your fingers, you admit, voice loud: “I wanna dance.”
He handles you properly, kindly, before pushing you in the crowd and brushing your hips with his hands, all rings and jewellery adorning them.
He blinks twice, biting the insides of his mouth, but he manages,
“Who says I wanna dance?”
Which is a bit stupid, or hypocritic if you might, because he’s swaying you to the rhythm of a ballad the pop love song turned into. You break into the smallest of smiles.
“I want to apologize.”
He scoffs. “I don’t know you,” he says, funnily enough, “But that seems almost unlikely, coming from you.”
“Yeah, you got me there, officer. I was, uhm,” you stare blatantly at his neck, and you suppress the desire to stroke your fingers’ pads on his soft skin, “I was out of line. I’m sorry. You were right, I don’t know you. I do know your frat brothers, my own brother, but that doesn’t mean I know you.”
He hums, moving for a small fraction of instants his thumbs on your hips and it’s enough for your breath to catch into your own throat. He nods, which could mean anything, from I accept your apology to go fuck yourself, this is bullshit. You prefer the former option, if you’re being honest, which is the answer you settle for in your head, hazed and absolutely hazed and madly hazed because of his small physical contact.
To put this into the simplest terms, Seulgi’s words, you don’t like this.
“I like dancing,” his eyes tower you and gaze at the other people dancing; you wonder if he’s thinking about them, who they are to you, what role they played in Seokjin’s life, if they’ll show up to your wedding, too. These thoughts popped into your mind unannounced, before, at the table, before the not-really-fuckboy sat next to you and made you feel guilty. Such absurdity; yet here you are, in his arms. Oh god, what would Seulgi think of you if she saw you?
“Good to know, I’m awful at shoulder-hips coordination.”
“Shoulder-hips coordination?” he inquiries, lips parted.
“Uh, body rolls?”
“Oh,” he chuckles, “I see, you mean classy grinding.”
“I don’t do classy grinding, sorry,” you retort, head tilted to a side.
His smile his amused. “Too bad, shoulder-hips coordination is a nice trait to exhibit sometimes.”
“I prefer hips coordination. Well, hips rotation.”
“Hips rotation?”
“Riding? Is the term somehow unfamiliar to you?”
He flushes, biting back a grin and fixing his gaze somewhere in the crowd. How cute.
“Not at all, it’s nice to meet a hips rotation enthusiast here, though.”
“Statistics say at least a member in each family is a riding enthusiast, did you know?”
“Shit, talk dirty to me,” he licks his lips, pointing at Jin with his chin, “Didn’t peg him for a rider, though. Not at all.”
“I’m starting to think you’re not a STEM major, are you? You’re lacking basic intuition, my friend.”
“Is this your attempt of discovering my major?” – he eyes you, a flick of amusement burning in his orbs – “You’re not very smooth, you know?”
“I have my moments.”
He snorts, placing both hands on the small of your back. You’re at height level with the base of his neck, and it’s fun how your mind betrays you in such moments, providing mental images of your nose brushing against his skin, and you nuzzling in the crook of his neck. Such taunting, invasive pictures. Fuck off, you reprimand your own mind, fuck off.
“I’m Jimin.”
“Jimin,” you taste the name on your tongue, hitting the back of your front teeth. “Jin never talked about you. I’m Y/N.”
“Jin never talked about you either.”
“Of course he never did, I’m prettier than he is.”
His little dimples make an appearance. “You know, you could really steal the bride’s spotlight.”
“That was my ultimate goal all along, even though I prefer the dark side.”
“I,” he licks his lips, and you don’t know why you’re following the gesture, “I meant to say you’re beautiful.”
“Oh my god,” you whisper, eyebrows raising, “Are you a charmer?”
“I mean,” he begins, sheepish smile on display, “I never kiss and tell.”
“Touching.” He smirks. “How sweet of you.”
“You know what else is sweet?”
“Please,” you beg, meeting his eyes, “Don’t say my pussy.”
“Please,” he repeats, same mocking tone, “The possibilities are endless. Your mouth,�� he scoots closer, words whispered on the shell of your ear, “Your mouth around my dick,” he almost nibbles your ear, “Your mouth screaming my name.”
“My pussy,” you add, trying not to lose your mind.
“I would never call sweet something I’ve not tasted.”
He raises a brow.
“Are you offering? You’re not very smooth, you know?”
He ignores the last question, tightening his grip. “In the middle of your brother’s wedding? Seokjin’s wedding? I’m not a dick, even though you sitting on my face would be a sight to see.”
“Right?” your voice doesn’t falter for a second, “That’s what I always say”
“Nice to see how we’ve got much in common. But I was thinking of something else, actually—” His face is once again inches away from yours, ear to mouth, hot breath fanning over you bare neck. “I wanna finger you.”
Oh.
“Under the table. Right behind you. Wanna make you whimper.”
It’s almost like being tongue-tied, fumbling for words, body flushing, but you gather somewhere the strength to form an actual sentence, which makes him smirk devilishly.
“I can be very quiet.”
He pokes his tongue into his cheek. “Bet you can’t keep your pretty mouth shut.”
“When I win,” you say, lying your words on an unrealistically high vote of confidence, even for yourself, “What do I get?”
He licks his lips, slow, savouring the moment. “You get to ride my face.”
“Not your dick?”
“I’m not a fuckboy, baby.”
A comeback of some kind is already on your tongue, but – there’s a kiss somewhere in the following seconds, all wet and tingling and perhaps filled with too many lip bites, but he can’t really blame you when you’ve been brushing your thighs together for the past minute, heat pooling down your belly. It’s enough for you to silently pledge for more, and for him to tease, because he takes a step back, smirk in place and lips reddened, and guides you towards his seat at the end of the table with a hand on the small of your back.
Downhill begins as soon as you sit down, legs barely parted, a minimum space not fitting for his plans, apparently, because the crease between Jimin’s eyebrows grows when he nudges them apart with his hand, the cold metal of his rings cooling down your flushed state. You want to gasp at the sudden intrusion, but the sound is swallowed entirely by his hot mouth on yours, distracting once again, incredibly soft and alluring. This kiss is slow, this time, like he’s taking his time tasting you and learning about the hums he draws out of you, the shyness of your previously biting tongue, and how fast you get lost in the kiss itself. You press a chaste kiss on his mouth, before creaking a space between you.
“I’m starting to think you’re all bark and no bite”
He doesn’t answer, but stares into your eyes with his hooded gaze, and he manages to sneak a hand furtively under your dress not breaking the contact. His skin is warm, but you’re warmer, and his destination is even hotter. He cocks his head, fingers brushing against the soaked, sticking material you used to call panties up until fifteen minutes ago, and he must notice—his eyes grow wider, his jaw tightens and his hand gains courage.
Fuck. This should be embarrassing, getting worked up over dirty innuendos and a kiss or two, but you’re instead feeling flushed and more. More sensitive. More open to the idea of him ruining you, even though that’s not what he’s offering. Or— is he?
The question lies unanswered when his digits rub with a sparkled intensity over both your clothed sex and your inner thighs. It’s a continuous, mellifluous melody, his fingers dancing between the two until he settles on your panties only, and that’s when you almost let out a soft moan; you don’t, he raises his brow, challenging, but you don’t, and instead glance around to notice if someone has his eyes on the both of you, sitting in the furthest region of the fucking smart, endless table.
He raises the stake, flushed: Jimin pushes your panties on one side, petting with his index your exposed self, and you suck in a breath. He continues to do so, face still, closing the distance between you two.
You don’t question the sudden kiss, instead you angle your face and close your eyes and let him press his lips on you. This feels like being drunk, or high, stretching underneath a sky dripping with stars. You cup his face with your hands, his lips so terribly soft and inviting, the smallest of smiles meeting your own chapped and curved upwards lips.
It’s when you’re merely inches away from him that he thumbs at your clit, sensitive and tingling, circling with utmost peace and no speed whatsoever. You pout at little, you realize, which makes him melt either cause of your cute frown -oh, how the tables have turned- or simply because he’s the devil himself, pressing a finger against your entrance and delving it into your heat.
“Cute,” he purrs, kissing you, “Is this okay?”
The crude, hot, nerve-wracking fingering has begun, which makes you, quickly enough, putty in his hands and ablaze with ardour for this man whose rasping voice could kill you.
“Yeah,” you breathe on his mouth, eyelids drooping closed, “Yeah, all good.”
You hum to yourself as he starts pressing kisses on your jaw and your neck, a trail of treacherous flames lighting up your skin, and you have the audacity to sigh under his ministrations, a tiny, strained sound not quite a mewl.
If he hears, he doesn’t show it. You’re biting your own lip when he enters a second finger, filling your searing emptiness.
“Want three?” he asks, voice husky and as desperate as you are under his touch. He adds it when you nod, the squelch louder than before, and you moan, rocking your hips against his fingers.
“Shh, baby,” he coos, placing his other hand on your hips, slowing your movements, “Be a good girl.”
He fucks you deep, fast, fingers clashing against the silky dress you’re wearing and sweat sparkling on his forehead. He swallows another moans of yours, sucking your bottom lip and tugging it between his teeth. You’re close. You’re so close, and it’s only been a couple minutes. You can’t hear anything that isn’t your wet pussy clenching around his fingers, his rhythm ruthless and burning.
“Too bad you’re not coming on my fingers, today,” he says before kissing your neck and emptying your dripping pussy, then proceeding to taste and lick his own fingers in his mouth. He lets them out with a small pop, and it’s the most terrifying sight you’ve ever had in front of your almost watering eyes. “I’m sorry I won the bet, though, your pussy is the sweetest I’ve ever tasted.”
That’s the high and dry story of how you first met Jimin.
/
The second time it happens, it’s under completely different circumstances, and, substantially, against your every predictions, it really happens. It takes place, like a once in a lifetime event: there’s an orgasm involved, not due to the very charming and never disappointing Jeon jungkook the robotic version, and instead it involves a rather attractive asshole with a persistent smirk plastered on his face.
Except it’s a lot more complicated than what it sounds, and most of it is Seulgi’s fault.
Your roommate had pouted all evening, because that’s what semi adults do when they’re denied a companion for the night.
“I just wanna get wasted. It’s been one hell of a month, and you know how I get when I’m stressed.”
“I can suggest you a vibrator and a bottle of vodka. Do you settle for that, your honor?”
“The more you talk like this,” all self-absorbed and assertive and cautiously, like when talking to a kid, she begins, hands in her long, mahogany hair, “the more I just wanna push you up against the wall.”
“Sounds to me you just wanna get laid.”
“Maybe I do,” she huffs, hands on her hips, the light of your abat-jour highlighting her golden skin. “Maybe I don’t. What I know is that I wanna get wasted. Come with me, pretty please?”
“Look,” you raise your eyes from the book you’ve been holding, stretching a leg onto the unmade bed of yours, “I just wanna get this fucking paper done. I need,” you grip the phone on the bed table, checking for the white, large numbers on your lock screen, “an hour. An hour and half to edit it and I’m all yours.”
“This paper is due on Thursday, though.”
“Yeah, but I have a reputation to uphold in the family. Have to be the most beautiful and successful.”
“You’re full of shit,” are her last words, muttered with a smile as she grabs her jacket.
“Hey,” you call, stretching your neck towards her, “I don’t care if it’s two am and you’re already wasted. Call me and I’ll come to you with a whole bottle of vodka to make it up to you. Hell, I’ll even kiss you goodnight.”
“I don’t wanna make out with you, you freak.”
“You didn’t say that last time, baby!”
Seulgi
[2.13]
wassup bitch
make out with meeeeeeeeeeeeee
[location shared]
com n get me littl nuggrt
Not Sober Seulgi is probably the worst Seulgi you have ever dealt with. You let out a sigh, eyeing the frat dorm all lit up and vibrating to the trashy trap music the insiders are jamming to.
Of course, when it comes to Not Sober Seulgi, there’s boys involved. Frat boys involved. At first, you don’t pay attention to the details, the signs, surrounding you like blinding traffic lights signalling stop stop stop, all red and striking. The thought doesn’t cross your mind, the dots connecting in some hidden part of your brain not making your insides short circuit—instead you’re knocking on the door, then banging on the very wooden entrance until a face shows up; the dorm is dimly lit, and the face is partially lightened by a soft, hued red and, that, too, Future You pinpoints, should have been a sign.
It’s useless, anyway, because you hear the insider talk and you’re burning instantly, like after touching a steaming, hot cup of coffee, except that bitter coffee is still good coffee. Smug Jimin plus bitter you isn’t really sweet, nor a match made in heaven. It’s chaotic, a caustic explosion, and you both know it, judging from the sharp smile he offers you, after blinking lazily at your figure.
“This is a mixer party only,” his soothing voice welcomes you, “Do you have an invite?”
You press your tongue on your teeth, mouth carefully closed.
“Yeah, from Hell, I’ve come to take a fallen angel.”
“Sorry to break it to you, oh-kind-lady, but we didn’t give any invite to poor, damned souls.”
“Too bad I don’t give a fuck about your policies, then,” you move towards the small space between the door and Jimin’s body, but he interferes, placing himself right between the two. “Look, I don’t give a single fuck about this party.”
“Yeah, it sure looks like it.”
You roll your eyes. “My friend is here. She’s most certainly not sober and I’ve come to pick her up. That’s it. Do you think I want to be here, among these drunk, perverted jocks?”
He turns around, stretching his neck, his eyes darting through the crowd, inhibited by alcohol, smelling like cheap beer and weed. The moment his eyes bore into yours, though, it’s terrifying; it’s a rustled reminder of Seokjin’s wedding Jimin, and you don’t like it. You loathe it. You dread it.
“Maybe only some of us.”
He tips his head, lips curving into a timid, small smile, and you tear your gaze from his lips in a heartbeat.
“Yeah, keep dreaming of it. I just want my friend back.” You point your chin towards the amalgam of drunk party animals, “I’ll leave you to your immensely interesting activities, then.”
“What if,” he begins, “You don’t. Or—even better scenario, you leave with me.”
“Best case scenario, I leave with my friend. You stay here.”
“What’s the worst-case scenario, then?”
You cock a brow at him, crossing your arms on your chest. “I leave with my friend, you stay here. Sometime before me leaving, you’re punched. Or kicked. I don’t know. There’s a high chance I’ll throw a drink on you.”
“That implies you’ll be here long enough to grab a drink, doesn’t it? And you don’t have to ruin my shirt to get me naked, babe. Just ask nicely.”
You huff, and you’re mildly tempted to shove him against a wall. Or ruin him. Not in the funny way. More like the high and dry way, the one he knows so well. “I changed my mind, I’ll kick you.”
“Ask nicely?” His teasing tone makes your cheeks flush, and you hope the shitplace with subdued lightening can cover it. His expression shifts into an arrogant one, full smirk and little dimples out, so your cute guess is that he can see. He sees his effect on you, albeit completely unwanted and full of hatred from your side, and he enjoys it. Actually lulls in it, letting out a small laugh which, in turn, makes his eyes turn into crescents, all warm and cute—all things he’s not. All things you know he’s not.
“Ask nicely,” you repeat, rolling the words on your tongue, “Okay, babe. Let’s do this, babe. What do you want from me, babe?”
“Has it ever crossed your mind that maybe the answer is you?”
“Yes, actually,” you sigh, fingers brushing his neck, face comically close to his perfect, chiselled one, “That’s exactly what I thought when you stopped fingering me.”
“Right,” Jimin has the audacity to smile, craning his neck as if to close the distance between you in order to meet you for a kiss, “I’m a man of word, thought. You should be impressed.”
“I’m pretty sure the only thing that’s impressed is your face under the orgasm denial definition. Google it, babe, I guarantee you the meaning comes with your name and a brilliant review of one star.”
“Unlike you.” He licks his lips, eyes on your pretty pink ones, smeared with venom, “You’re not coming.” He explains, to further ignite your rage.
“And whose fault is that, babe?”
Jimin nuzzles into your neck, cupping your other cheek with his rough palm, and his thumb stills on your throat, right where your breath is stuck. He adds pressure on it, lips fondling your burning skin, his usual smirk plastered on them.
“Let me make it up to you.”
“You’re not fucking me,” you spit back, mouth now millimetres away from his, gently inviting you to kiss it, and cherish it, and biting it until you’re satisfied with the hot result.
“I’ll eat you out? Until you come.” He hums. “You’ll come.”
His voice is a mere strangled sound, wanting and dripping with need, and you snap out of it with a small smile.
“Nice offer,” your smile is wicked as you scrape his nape with a feathery touch, the slow movement rousing a flutter in your lower belly. “But get in line, babe.”
His shell-shocked face is the last thing you see before you fulfil the let’s rescue Seulgi! party.
(“Why do you smell like softener?” Seulgi sniffs you, arms looped loosely around your neck, eyes completely shut down. It’s a nice sight, all things considered. You’re no angel, no saint, no perfect person, but you’re a nice friend, and that’s probably the most Seokjin trait you recognize in yourself. It’s your shared apartment, and it’s past 3 am and you’re the one good friend who keeps her promises. “It’s strawberry vodka, you heathen.”)
The line turns out to be a real line, queue line, let’s get this coffee line, which, well. How can one word it, how can one phrase it fully catching the irony of it all, the distinctive je ne sais quoi of life without—
“Nice to see you here.”
It’s the perfect set for a rom-com, you notice, taking in the warm scenery around you. What else can one dream of, right? The campus coffee shop, the campus hot not-really-but-also-kinda fuckboy Jimin, partial jock to give him credit, full time attractive idiot with a tendency for orgasm denial. Really.
“What are the chances?” You exhale, voice devoid of emotions. For the sake of your parents’ integrity, you suppose, because they raised no impolite woman, of course, you turn around to face the angel-like human being, black hair partially covering his forehead, little dimples on full display. That’s—that is lack of integrity, or indecency or au-fucking-dacity. It might as well be a mix of the above-mentioned possibilities, all fitting and nurturing you because he’s gorgeous. He’s handsome. Jimin’s the most attractive human being you’ve ever seen in your life, and it’s not fair.
(Beside the fact that you’ve lived with Kim Seokjin, for fuck’s sake)
He pokes his own cheek, and you bask into the otherworldly scenario that takes place right in front of your caffeine deprived eyes. It’s a sight for sore, soft eyes, and it’s the end of the world as you know it, because it’s morning, too early to properly function like a normal human being, but there he is. There he is, Jimin, channelling his inner boyfriend material aura, oozing off boyfriend smell, nice, fresh, aftershave smell, rocking a stupid sweater and the messiest black mop of hair.
It’s honestly a tragedy, and you won’t stand for it. You will make a move—
“You’re squinting your eyes, like, real tight. Are you alright?”
Just ogling you, your drowsy mind offers, the fucking cheater.
“Yeah,” you reply, swallowing a lump in your dry throat, “Just need coffee. A latte. Anything.”
You move forward in the queue, and as you blink you realize it’s your turn, until it’s not anymore. Jimin carefully and gently moves you out of the way, brushing with the softest touch your side.
“A latte and an iced americano, please.”
The sweetened order for two turns into a hushed thank you, a tipped smile, a flutter of you heart. It’s drinks still half full, his curious gaze darting on your lips, your defences down. It’s unfair, because in a hot second all this pent-up tension shifts into a light, chaste kiss, your back pressed against the coffee shop’s restroom; your chest heaves under his tantalizing make-out session with your neck, followed by his frantic lips pressing on yours, his tongue licking lazily into your mouth, a gasp easing its way out of your warm and eager mouth. It’s a hot-blooded supercut, each frame announced by a starving moan, a content sigh, and, before you realise it, you’re on your bed, Jimin hovering on top of you.
It’s Saturday morning, you hum to yourself, fingers sliding into his hair, all’s in check. There’s a warm body slumped on yours, his tongue swerving on your lower lip and his hips shyly bucking between your open legs. Your panties are drenched, you can feel his hard on through the jeans and, really, all’s in check.
He nudges your nose with his. “Lemme eat you out.”
The answer lies sitting on the tip of your tongue, right next to an obnoxious remark that you hope will rile him up enough for him to rip your underwear, which you definitely won’t complain about. However, the words don’t come out, they slur in your craving mouth the second he gets up and shoves you toward the end of your unmade bed, spreading your naked legs open with his calloused palms.
“Nice skirt,” he comments, voice a rasp, eyeing the drenched, lilac underwear, skirt at this point gone up to cover your stomach. “I just want…”
He shuffles closer, enough for you to feel his hot breath on your core, and that’s when Jimin pulls the panties on a side, teasing you with little licks to your entrance. You’re responsive, too eager for anything to quench your thirst that you sigh happily at the barest of actions, gripping strands of his hair. Jimin chuckles, engulfing the throbbing clit in his mouth in one go and drawing desperate moans out of your cute, devilish mouth.
“Fuckboy move,” you emit, voice cracking at the pressure of his warm mouth, “Oh, oh. Fuck…”
He replies flattening his tongue on your core, then licking and lapping against your dripping folds. Jimin positively glows at the cries you let out, face slobbering with your arousal while driving you insane, fucking with his tongue like his life depended on it. It’s almost a spiritual experience, a crescendo of wails and sobs, his face drown in your pussy and his tongue paying reverence to your approaching orgasm. He can feel it in the way you writhe, in his hand splaying over your stomach, keeping you still while he eats you religiously, forehead beaded with sweat.
You come with a trembling hand in his hair, the other flicking your bare nipple, back slightly arched and a lewd mewl; Jimin takes in the way your body trembles, your breath all staggered because of him, and the sight alone is enough for him to cum in his pants with a grunt, completely untouched.
The second time it happens is, coincidentally, the first time Jimin knows there’s no turning back from this.
/
Complicated is a big word when it comes to relationship, you reckon, emitting something akin to a gasp, truly soap operas worthy material, but, for the first time in your life, you decide to name it this way.
Being with Jimin is… complicated, for starters. Especially because you’re not with Jimin, in the strict, relationship-wise meaning. He knows your favourite colour (“Why the fuck you only own purple underwear?” “It’s lilac, dick, watch your mouth.” “Watch your own mouth, babe. You’re the one on your knees.”), your favourite food (“But you like having your mouth stuffed with my cock, honey.” You sigh, blushing. “First of all, I’m talking about real food. That amazing steak kind of food—“
“I’ll show you real meat, babe.”
“Gross. Gross. How can I cancel the last five seconds of my life?”
“Come here, Jared, nineteen,” he half smiles, tilting his head, “I’ll get us fries.”), your favourite movie (“We can’t get each other off every time your ugly paper cap fits—oh,” you suck in a breath, Jimin flicking his tongue on your turgid nipple, “oh, god, don’t stop.”), your best friend’s name (“I condone you dicking her so good she sometimes cries, you know, I just don’t when I’m in the room next to hers and all I can hear is my best friend trying to formulate a single coherent word but failing because you’re pounding her mercilessly into the mattress.” Jimin chuckles, grabbing his jacket before holding the doorknob. “She begged, Seulgi.”)—so what? It’s not like you sat down and decided not to ask each other dumb questions, so that you could find out in the funny, kinky way. For fuck’s sake, you didn’t even decide on anything, didn’t even talk about talking, because the relationship related shit didn’t even cross your mind.
It’s even quite fucking hard for it to cross it, because half the time you’re together you’re either both naked – except for the time he pleaded for the tartan mini to stay – or stuffing your mouth with food—because, if there’s something you’ve learned after one too many hook-ups with him is that this kind of sex requires strength. Like, actual, physical strength, if we’re not talking about the this test is draining me please fuck me until I can’t walk sex. Which, yeah, 10/10 would recommend. That was the day Seulgi decided to invest in ear plugs while muttering capitalism, here I come.
You also came.
Funnily enough, guess who also came. Not in the funny, kinky way. Think about the grossest thing, imagine the beyond the bounds of possibility, sprinkle it with Jimin earnestly shoving his dick down your throat, stir it with a poor Taehyung brushing his teeth next to the both of you, a step away from the shower, and serve it on the most expensive plate in the kitchen, a recipe not approved by Kim Seokjin.
Yeah, you mentally roll your eyes, licking your lips clean, at eye-level with your sorta enemy with benefits’ pretty dick: the married brother of yours, former fratboy, taller than your current will to live.
In hindsight, maybe it is Seokjin’s fault. Once you’re married, you’re supposed to be committed to the cause, and sometimes, an angry little crumb in you finds the audacity to speak, the cause is made up of your four walls: ergo home, ergo your married life, miles away from the absurdity that once filled his university days. You’re being hypocritical, you realize, skin wet, body trembling. In the simplest, most hedonistic terms, you’re done with the chaos in this fraternity and just wished that hooking up was easier. It’s more than a stolen orgasm, a random spur of pleasure and free de-stresser; it’s also something not quite like art but just as peculiar. Sex with Jimin is more than nice, more than a fast rummage of clothes on the floor and panties teared, or condoms stuffed in every single pocket of his jacket.
It should also be noticed that it’s been one hell of a stressful week, okay, which means that it’s one of those times you seek for naked intimacy, in its least literal meaning. You’re looking for something sure, something silent, something earnest. Jimin gives you that in the simplest of forms, in the easiest of ways. It’s not fair for your brother to come unannounced and burst into the house with his adorable laugh and love for his own brothers. Way to ruin the moment, bro.
Jimin blinks attentively when Taehyung laughs, clapping his hands all happy and following the elder’s voice outside the bathroom.
“I’m getting you my clothes.”
“Wait, what?”
His lips part just enough for his tongue to wet them, and your eyes follow in silence the gesture.
“I mean,” he starts, grabbing a towel, “You either come out with me from this bathroom or you don’t.”
He’s concise, yet harsh, words uttered with those soft lips yet are just as hot as a slap in your face. He’s telling the truth, but you soon find out you don’t really like it.
There’s something abrupt and severe in those chosen words, so well picked out because they’re not meant to hurt, but at the same time they’re so worrying. So terrible, practically as hard as a punch in your guts.
You either come out of the bathroom with him — you had been blowing minutes before, hadn’t you? Quite the intimacy, huh? — or you don’t. You stay behind. Different rooms, a whole door to separate you while he’s out with the people he cares about.
Seems legit, but. It’s unfair. You know Jimin isn’t choosing for you, but it’s obvious he’s inclined towards an option between the two, and you’re terrified to discover whether it’s his own desire pushing or what he thinks you want.
You, instead, push the thought aside when you nod, taking the towel from his hands and covering your body from this terrific half hook-up.
Because that’s what it is—that’s what you are.
It dawns upon you like a cold breeze hitting your face in full December, suddenly, and that’s when you realize winter is near. In your mind, this hooking up scenario seemed nicer. Sounded softer, a cute bubble moving slowly in the air.
But now—well, now the bubble has burst, and it feels wrong, and this unexpected wrong doesn’t feel right in your chest, and that’s the story of how you leave the house escaping from his window, in his clothes, with vision blurred by hot, stupid, idiotic tears.
/
Seulgi is the first one to notice, and, obviously, the first one to speak.
“Something’s been bothering you,” she says, head tilted in a way that’s supposed to be emphatic and worried but comes off as stiff and terrified. “Care to share?”
It’s just a wholesome amount of terrifying stuff, isn’t it? First the shower incident, now Seulgi’s ways not working around you anymore. What’s next? Avoiding Jimin for a whole week? Blocking his number? Losing the smart and beautiful title to your obnoxious brother?
You wouldn’t be surprised, really. Shit like this always happens at the same fucking time.
“It’s nothing. A stressful couple days, maybe? Or maybe I’m getting sick. There’s a guy always coughing during Physics. Maybe it’s his fault, who knows.”
Seulgi unlocks her phone, an unreadable gaze studying you. She gives up a second later, though, her weak maybe reaching your ears when you’ve already looked down on your book.
One simply cannot be annoyed because of a half hook up. Christ. You deserve better than that. You have some dignity left, tainted by everything that’s not Jimin and his harsh, stupid words.
So, your mind offers, while you squint your eyes, I suppose there’s nothing else you could do about it.
Nothing else besides acknowledging it and moving on.
Sounds like a plan. A fireproof plan, an escape plan, something detailed and precise. Planned to work out smoothly; planned to be executed without pain or mistakes.
/
It’s seven sharp when he knocks, takeout in his left hand, eyes bulging because it’s fucking freezing outside.
“It’s fucking freezing, what the fuck.” He says out loud, indeed. What he receives as an answer is the sound of your tongue clicking, the biggest amount of interest you’ve shown towards him the whole week. He would finally exhale, weren’t it for the fact that this is still pretty traumatic, because if there’s something he’s learned while orbiting around you, is that you’re constantly awake and aware of your surroundings. Your body language says that you pay attention to him, or Seulgi, or whoever you’re talking to. You follow the guy with your eyes, and you listen and nod in all the right places during a conversation, and you search for his dark gaze when he’s fucking you in the dimly lit bedroom, the bed creaking under your sweaty sex making. He’s not admitting it, he never will, and he’ll pretty much deny this to everyone who will ask but: there’s something hot about it. Something burning with the way your body reacts to him, when your eyes follow his actions, while your voice falters when he fucks you right, and it somehow pushes him to the edge every time. It’s the equivalent of Jungkook getting a boner in the gym while catching girls and boys drooling at him, except he’s talking about you and your crazy moans, your magic aura.
And yes, okay, fucking blame him, the realization alone made him jerk off in his room like a teen, twice, yesterday. That’s a fact. That’s barely a fact, alright? This is a truth; a statement soon forgot by the knowers. Obviously.
You look spent, he thinks, if he had to choose a word, dared by some arrogant deity to define the current mess you were. He glances at your barely done ponytail, at the tiredness written all over your face. He takes in your baggy sweater, your quiet beauty, knowing this is gonna be one of those nights you take a step back.
He doesn’t say anything though, instead he brushes the hair on your forehead, not even making contact with your skin.
You grab the bag from his hands, shivering instantly and hoping he doesn’t read the signs. They’re—they’re there, you know, you’re collecting them slowly, one after another, grabbing one and looking cautiously for the following one, hoping it’s not there. Hoping it doesn’t exist.
You exhale a sigh, disguising it as cough, a noise, something distracting Jimin from his silent staring, which is, funnily enough, loud and cacophonic.
“Hungry,” you state, the single word weighting more because of the soft pout on your lips. Jimin hates that he knows what it means, that it’s gonna be just the two of you this time, no chill whatsoever, no bodies touching and melting against each-other. He’s not complaining, what the fuck, he’s not an idiot. He’s not even mad, he’s just—accepting, on a level. This is the point of no return, he guesses, following you on the couch and admiring the laptop’s screen reflected on your face.
He doesn’t say anything when you search for Brooklyn 99 on Netflix, because he’d say everything, otherwise. He’d mumble something along the lines of this feels real, we could do this all the time, or, worst of all: I like this. I like you.
So, in order: he tugs at your sleeves and scoots you closer to him, and you say absolutely nothing at the gesture. He’s ecstatic on the inside, partially terrified, mostly delusional. He pretends he’s something more when you lean on him, the slightest pressure of your head on his shoulder. He cares zero fucks about the show when he’s breathing your scent in and feels how warm you are and shuts his eyelids down when he pictures you adoring him. Liking him. Liking him a whole lot more—
He’s fucked, he realises, hours later, when you doze off and he has to carry you to bed, something you claim of loathing, which—what on earth. It’s an unfathomable absurdity, that’s what it is.
“You can stay.”
His voice falters. “What?”
You cough, eyes closed as you speak sinful words: “The night, I mean. It’s fucking freezing outside.”
His lips form a small o, and it’s hot all of a sudden. “Alright,” he manages, staring at you on your bed, hands fidgety and heartbeat accelerated for some reason, “Make space for me. Hey, fucker. I’m serious. Let me in.”
You do.
(to be continued. ily)
#BTS jimin#bts#bts fic#bts fluff#bts fanfic#bts scenarios#bts scenario#bts smut#bts social media au#bts imagine#bts imagines#jimin imagine#jimin#jimin smut#jimin bts#jimin x reader
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I am watching What IF...?
Episode 1: What if... Captain Carter were the First Avenger?
You know... when I saw that it started from the breach in Captain America timeline and saw Peggy become a super soldier, I was pretty sure that Steve will resent her for what she did, because his portrayal in the First Avenger movie even before the serum indicated that he would be, just like he was of Bucky for being drafted while he was left behind. It’s canon behavior for him as far as I noticed.
What If..?’s Steve however is a better man. I dunno when exactly he changed, but he did. He doesn’t act as if he resented Peggy, and he seems quite ok with how everything turned out. Which is like, wow, I didn’t expect that. Also, Peggy has a far better story as Captain.
Like, she isn’t put into USO, she is denied being a soldier even, because she is a woman, the only thing she seems to share with Captain America is murdering punching bags and throwing stuff when angry, which is kinda a bad sign, but ok, everybody needs coping mechanisms. ANYWAY, when she learns where Hydra went, she quickly figured out what they were after, but the guy in charge (John Flynn), the same one who told her that she is a woman not a soldier, doesn’t want to send her there even though they still have a chance to get it back in time. So Howard steps in and her whole rebellion against the military is about not endangering everybody with a stupid ass decision made by a general who doesn’t get how important the cube is, instead of about saving just one man and accidentally saving 400 others by extension by literally going AWOL and endangering his friends like MCU Steve did. Everything about the mission which makes her recognized is about retrieving the Tesseract. And Howard gives her a uniform and a shield to do just that. All in British colors, because American military sucks.
(I love their “she just reaped the bars out, holy shit” faces xD)
AND THEN they go SAVE BUCKY. That makes much more sense story wise. And also Howard is showing Steve that technology can aid him when the serum now can’t, because Peggy is the super soldier instead, literally building better foundations for Steve’s attitude towards technology and the future. He will not be stuck in ice and come back for the Avengers, but at least he is getting better development not only in relation to this topic, but also to his hatred towards his body and his masculinity. Peggy still wanting him despite him being small and frail and now also disabled even more after he was shot and has to walk with a cane, literally builds in Steve the idea that his masculinity is not weak or bad, because he is not a macho muscly type and that his body isn’t something which he should hate or which makes him less than others. AND he is literally Tony now! I did suspect that the technology he got was a suit, but damn, is Steve in this universe fated to be the first Iron Man and then Tony second?
Lol, they named him “Hydra Stomper”.
And now Peggy teaches Steve the most important lesson “the Suit is nothing without the man inside”, which he as much as Tony needed to learn to finally feel free and not less than the others, because they rely on something. The only difference between Steve and Tony here is that Iron Man without Tony is truly nothing, because he made it, while Steve's suit was given to him, so anybody can technically pilot it. Anyway, I like this Steve so much more than MCU one.
(Which when I think about it now creates a pothole in the later part of the episode. Like why Hydra and Red Scull let the suit hanging instead of use it against Peggy? Why put Steve in chains next to it? It kinda looks like damseling him for literally no reason. I wonder why they didn’t kill him right away? Because what? Because he had blonde hair and blue eyes? Or what? Scull liked him? And we cannot even say it was done for the sake of Peggy saving him, because Peggy never sees Steve in chains. She went the other way, so why is he there? To save for whom? Bucky? It would be more logical if Red Scull just killed Steve and put the suit himself and fought Peggy in it to hurt her. Then at least space squid wouldn’t kill him, lol... ah wait. OH, yeah, Tesseract was inside the suit, so he just took it out. Still, he could power up the suit with something else and put one of his people inside to fight Peggy anyway, just in case she came for him).
AND OF COURSE HE HAD TO TRAGICALLY DIE WHEN I FINALLY STARTED LIKING THE WEASEL! LOL, we know what will happen next. He will become the new Winter Soldier, I suppose? If he survived the explosion.
Oh, they brought the original castle storyline back! It never appeared in the Captain America: The First Avenger, even though I personally remember a castle being a main stage for the whole “Steve sacrificed himself prelude” thing, so it’s nice to have a castle and an interdimensional portal back, instead of a plane battle.
“I am up for anything, but this is crazy”.
“And so is Steve Rogers”
Me: *wheezing*
Anyway, he survived. There is no Winter Soldier in this universe and Peggy gets lost in the portal, and she is brought back to 2012 by I suspect Project Pegasus as it is the “Loki’s arrival” scene.
I think that now, if we assume that everybody else is still present in this universe, meaning that Tony became Iron Man and all, Steve becoming a Hydra Stomper and working with Peggy gave Captain Carter an experience in fighting alongside someone in a metal suit. Plus her friendship with Howard means that she won’t have any bad disposition towards Tony and hence Avengers team will actually work better, and if there is Civil War it would be different and about something else, because Captain Carter knows her way around learning political related stuff, so she wouldn’t really kick Accords in the ass unless it was a Hydra plot. I also suppose that without her making Project Paperclip, Hydra would not infiltrate SHIELD, or someone else does that, and Captain Carter would notice something is not right with SHIELD, and she would root the Hydra out herself.
Also, I wanna point out that the scene in which Peggy is shown to be “smarter than Howard” is there only to establish the difference between her and MCU Steve Rogers, who doesn’t know shit about technology. It’s not that Howard isn’t smart anymore. He is a civilian, who is not a brawling type, in a room with a huge octopus which crushed Red Scull like a wooden stick. It stands to reason that he would be panicked enough to not be able to articulate properly. It also establishes that no “it runs on some kind of electricity” will happen in this universe during the Avengers storyline, where she ends by the end of the episode. It comes out a little out of the blue, that’s true, but this is not a line which only “genius” or “science type” can say. It’s just a typical sci-fi approach to the problem with anything, which also sounds smart at the same time. She could even take it out from a sci-fi novel. But I agree that they didn’t establish where that knowledge comes from in any of the previous scenes.
Episode 2: What if... T’Challa became a Star-Lord?
Lol, a vastly different reaction xD
And this was the moment when young T’Challa thought, “who needs to tell their baba that they’re going into space, anyway?” and just went and disappeared. I don’t even wanna know what Wakanda did after the prince vanished. Though it means that Shuri can become a queen and the Black Panther now, HELL YEAH!
And this is the proof that anybody who says that we have to murder someone else to “save the planet” from overpopulation is wrong. (Because they are wrong, just go and check studies about that). T’Challa just showed Thanos the benefits of equal share of the resources and saved the universe with logic and diplomacy.
And my hopes for Queen Shuri just went out the window. BTW, why Nebula turned into a living example of “blue space babe” (from feminist studies which pointed out that alien women are just human women painted colors and shown in sexy clothes or portrayed as dancers and prostitutes for the benefit of the male gaze). She got sexy hair, sexy dress, and she is later shown to be some kind of spy by the clothes she wears and her general attitude. She reminds me so much of Natasha that I am tempted to say she is a sexy spy cliché.
It’s kind of degrading after the whole episode which centered around a woman being denied being a soldier, which in the whole militaristic and male dominated setting was pretty much conveying feminist messages, while here in another male dominated setting we have only two women shown with any lines and one of them is Nebula sexy spy. It just comes across weird after the previous episode, tbh.
She even speaks like Natasha from the MCU... and she betrays just like our dear russian friend, Natasha. Anyway, it looks like Queen Shuri is still on the table! Wakanda prevails! It was not destroyed!
Ok, nevermind. She is a space Black Widow, but in this way that she plays every side just like Natasha does. Apparently... betrayal was part of the plan, lol. What is with this idea that women named with a name starting with N are good spies in this universe?
Carina the badass! GO CARINA! SHOW THEM!
At least in this universe, she doesn’t foolishly die for “drama”. Or, in MCU’s case, for exposition to show “what happens to those who touch the infinity stone”. I gotta say, her revenge was sweet.
#what if...?#what if...? spoilers#peggy carter#bucky barnes#nebula#t'challa#thanos#mcu steve rogers critical#what if...? steve rogers rulez#mcu critical#feminism#why did you have to sexualize Nebula to make her second Natasha?
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Season 1 Episode 5
Watching the next episode of Roswell
Wait wait wait! I just looked at the episode titles now, are they song titles! OMG I love that! Smells Like Teen Spirit is the episode after this one (that's how I figured it out) and it makes me so happy. I love Nirvana.
Ok, so here's the thing after the recap I just wanted to say. "After all I'm the one who killed those girls" but not Rosa... just saying.
Also, I know this was his thought process, two good lives compared to his shitty one, who do they ruin? Easy answer. The whole shebang. But I always hate that. Like not really but it makes me feel bad and I hate that mindset, love it from a storytelling perspective.
Ok back to this episode of which I have no idea why Isobel is out here alone. Love the crop circles though
See I like this argument though. Like genuinely Michael shouldn't be confessing because he matters too, but you know, with his mindset I doubt he cares. Making him aware of the dangers it poses to his family is more likely to work.
Sidenote: I mean technically speaking they should all confess since you know people died and all that, but I don't really care about those people, so....
Ok, so she went missing, and they're horrible at on the spot lies. Do I need to say "wonder what's up there?" I don't think I do.
Did he BUY that!? Oh my god
Oh he's speechless.🙄 I'm sorry. I know it's rude. And I like Kyle, I do, I just don't ship them. I mean, it's not gonna end up working, so why would I even bother trying.
I can't believe his mom knew all this and his it. I don't like that. Kyle's mom is kinda iffy at times. I get why she would (I think) but still.
Ok, that's gonna be important, but Idk what that thing is.
Kyle being shady. I do trust him now, but why does he have to keep secrets from Liz?
Oh! It's a recorder. Of some kind
Oh my. We have to talk with the conspiracy theorist. I don't mind that. It could be interesting.
She just cuts right to things.
So he's definitely too scared to talk, which I mean, fair enough. Also how did he disappear? Like she wasn't far behind him.
Cabin.
Alex! I missed him last episode. Also, sidenote, why is Kyle's second thought to break the window instead of, oh idk, scoping it out to see if anything is left open?
I'm gonna be honest, I didn't actually remember Noah's name until he introduced himself there. This really is a small town with everyone running into each other all the time.
Dude, Kyle's dad was so fucking shady omg. Like idk why he's connecting to these people, and just has so much hidden stuff. Weird dude (obviously on a less funny note he's extremely gross for getting with Rosa)
What's with the gun? Ah America. Lmao
Wait wait wait. Ok, unpacking this. A) blackouts, right around the end of high school, B) talk of Rosa as stressor, C) she doesn't know what happened. So like, am I reading too much into this or did Isobel kill Rosa? Cause I think she did. Accidentally by the sound of it, but tbh I wouldn't expect her to do that intentionally.
I was about to say I like seeing old friendships, but then things a turn. Oof. Bullying, homophobia, this is not good childhood memories like I thought we were gonna get. This cabin just got awkward
I love when someone asks "how much longer?" And it's immediately followed by something happening.
Fucking, guy who believes everything is normal, "don't open that. Bad things." Guy who knows about aliens and the existence of creatures outside of what we know and also experiments and government conspiracies "ah nothing bad could possibly be down there."
So why does Isobel blackout but the other two apparently don't?
And there's a big bed. Why, idk, but it's here.
First of all, poor Alex, literally life had to suck so hard for him, I can't imagine living life with no one real loved ones. Like I have 6 siblings, you know, hard to not have one of them be attached to you.
But anyways, see, now Alex is arguing if Kyle's dad was a good guy, and like, it pulls into questions which way this story is gonna go. With this it looks like it's gonna go he's not bad, but then what's withthe letter? Wasn't it a love letter? I'm confused
Girl just broke in! Was there no other way? Why does everyone resort to breaking windows in this town?
Yeah, I saw him being there coming. That was obvious after she went to unplug
Ok, was it not a love letter? Is that why it's possible this was just a detoxt?
Confetti gun, cause even if you can't legally own a gun in America you still need to have one
Ok, these three feel so much like siblings here, and I always have to stop to appreciate it cause so many things get siblings wrong.
This time! And truth comes out😬.
😲 why did I not see this twist coming! I'm quite literally speechless rn
Holy shit! I was pausing to say something and the gu went off. Another good twist! Why are there so many twists!? Help this show is actually good. So far I think this is my favourite episode.
How does she know what gun he has?
Oh back to the three of them. That's bad. I thought she was like investigating Rosa or something back then too, that's why they made her leave, but it was literally just cause Max liked her. Like I'm sorry, but that crosses boundaries. Making life changing decisions without the people who's lives your changing.
Fhskfhdskhd. Ok, they gonna be feeling guilty though. Like man, seeing his reaction hearing him be so broken, must hurt knowing you caused someone you love all that pain.
Also, finding her, yes please! She's kinda in danger rn.
Lmao, the gun! I hate that I laugh at it.
Holy shit that's that guy! Is that family bad guys? Omg I'm so confused help
Look, we love a girl who will fight, but tbh, not the best idea. Kinda sucks though cause I can't think of anything better, so A for effort
IS HE PLANNING ON BURNING HER ALIVE! Bitch why!? Like you could've just shot her. This is way too brutal, thank God she won't actually get hurt
Ok, I thought Max was gonna end up saving her and I was low-key rolling my eyes at damsel in distress, but the fact that she got out on her own? 👌 Also Wyatt is dumb. How do you mess up murder that badly?
Ok, so Kyle's dad good apparently. Yay
Anyways. Alex's dad? He fucking disgusts me. He can choke
Aw Kyle, I like that. I hope they can get over that bad phase, cause I'm really digging this friendship. And also I want to hug Alex rn. He kinda needs it
Yeah, he was gonna be dead
Symbolism! Shot in the same spot she was, by the same guy too! Ok ok ok. Um, I was thinking somethings gonna happen and he'll be fine, then I remembered the picture thing I mentioned earlier with Max being see through and now I'm terrified.
Ambulance is here. It's ok. He can be saved. I'm freaking out guys, this episode doesn't stop (unless I pause it of course) it's been an hour and a half and I still half 10 minutes. The episode is 40 minutes.
Ok it's all good. He's safe. Now a moment for him and Liz.
Oh, Noah's confronting her. I mean, fair enough, he's been worried all day.
Well shit. I didn't think it'd get to this point. Like I thought it was gonna be just "where were you? What's going on?" But I should have known we weren't pulling punches today. Things are coming to a head with these two too, the bottles, the lies. Isobel, I feel like you have to tell him.
I feel so bad for her. Like I get why he's doing this. A relationship can't work if there's lies, but she feels she has to lie. It sucks
Ok, yeah, digging into your dead father's history can do that. Also did the actor for Kyle play someone named Tyler? Cause every now and then I want to call him Tyler. Not as much as I want to call Alex Caleb (not even close) but still
What is Alex finding right now? Ajdgkszosysk that's the alien tech omg! He's finding out too!
Aw! I just need Max and Liz to get together right now. Of course it always comes back to Rosa
Yes! Tell people. Michael's right.
Uh, there's one more secret
Shit! Liz has put it all together! Omg I was right it was Isobel! Yes! And no, because like it sucks for her. But yay I'm right!
Fuck me! Ok! Hands down my favourite episode thus far! Like easily. Anyways, it makes me mad that I need to sleep. I want to just keep watching.
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do u have any reccomendations for how to read only comics involving rictor and shatterstar?? i used to be into marvel comics so i am immune to the usual comic shenanigans but i would like to learn more about these boys
here is a guide to reading xmen comics for rictor and shatterstar, my favorite canon comics couple! they were the first on-panel gay kiss in a marvel comic! they’re very special to me!
OKAY SO... ok. for anyone else using this, here’s a standard disclaimer that obviously there’s gonna be a lot in these that just absolutely sucks because 1. the 90s, 2. comics are an extremely cishet white male dominated industry. i do not vouch for everything written in these comics, but i think the gaycoding that eventually gets canonized is worth wading through a lot of stupid bullshit and very ugly art.
quick backstory on these two: rictor is a mexican teenager who was kidnapped by an anti-mutant terrorist group and was rescued by x-factor (the original 5). he hung around their auxiliary teen group the x-terminators for most of x-factor, being a delightful little punk (wearing a sleeveless leather vest a lot of the time!) and hanging out with boom-boom (who i love) and then got put into the new mutants for a very short time (where he had a thing with rahne/wolfsbane), before it was dissolved and transformed into x-force when rob liefeld took over the title. rictor hates team leader 90sdude cable because he thinks cable killed his dad in front of him. he tends to be the snarky asshole on the team.
the first part of this article has a lot of little rictor moments i’m not covering here. if you want the full rictor experience, check out x-factor (1986) and !x-terminators! x-factor starts very slowly but it picks up and improves when the simonsons take the helm.
rictor left the team. shatterstar was introduced by liefeld - he’s an Emotionless Warrior Guy Who Loves To Fight from mojoworld (a planet run by a despot who produces tv. it’s Commentary), where he was forced to be a gladiator from birth and doesn’t know a lot of earth customs and doesn’t have emotions (or rather, he represses them).
x-force (1991) feel free to read through all of it, but in case you just want to skip to these two, all of these issues have one or two good little Moments - just do some skimming. i tend to focus more on rictor than star in this era because star is made more interesting than Emotionless Warrior Guy by butting up against rictor:
13-16 (rictor rejoins his old new mutants friends)
19, 21-26 (the first phase of their relationship where they don’t really get along. in one of these issues rictor stares at star’s ass. big moment of star being autism-coded in here too)
29-30 (rictor drives shatterstar around and they seem to get along better, you get to learn a bit about star’s past, adam-x the x-treme is there)
32-33 (just some little moments of them hanging out, a couple good rictor lines)
34 (VERY IMPORTANT - rictor backstory issue! AND this has the first big Subtext moment: shatterstar reveals he learned spanish from tv so he and rictor can have “conversations of a highly -- personal nature” HELLO?)
35 (some little moments where you can see star and rictor are now Friends and star is affected by that friendship)
39-40 (more good friendship - rictor asks if star has been watching dating shows and they just seem close. rictor also has gotten a haircut! we learn shatterstar’s mojoworld designation! they ride some motorcycles!)
43 (VERY IMPORTANT - the two go to a club. rictor tells star he’s a virgin then asks him if he has a dick. i am not kidding this literally happens. star learns what sexual attraction feels like and says ‘i don’t know what emotions im supposed to attach to that’, and rictor tells him he’ll help him learn.)
44 (VERY IMPORTANT - rictor leaves the team because he doesn’t want to have the team communicate telepathically (VERY interesting for a character who is eventually revealed to have been a closeted gay man). shatterstar begs him not to leave - “you’re my best and only friend.” rictor tells him that if he ever needs him, he’ll come back.)
cable (1993) #22 (follows up directly on rictor leaving the team - star accompanies rictor to the airport and has a lot of Feelings and has great hair. “julio. one last time. please, change your mind. what am i going to do without you?” oh so you’re dependent on your best friend who you’re in love with? oh?)
45, 47-48 (star’s weird biology, star brings up rictor as his emotional touchstone in a situation where he isn’t relevant at all. also, a plotline where tabby gets treated terribly by her friends and the narrative!)
49 (VERY IMPORTANT - star wanders around at night wondering why rictor hasn’t contacted him yet. he goes to the club he and rictor went to in #43 and turns down a girl who hits on him. he thinks “i miss julio...” (in an earlier issue, rictor tells cable not to call him by his first name - “only my mom calls me that”), then beats up some homophobes in an alley. I AM NOT KIDDING.)
51-52 (51 has more weird star biology. 52 has two pages of star and james talking that is a nice look at star’s developing emotional state - the rest of 52 is a fight with one of marvel’s extremely fatphobic villains, just a warning to skip the rest of it. although the letter page of 52 has someone go HEY ARE RICTOR AND SHATTERSTAR IN LOVE? thank you roeland looman from the netherlands)
54-56 (the start of shatterstar’s weird bad benjamin russell backstory that is quickly forgotten, disregarded, and uncared about by everybody. BUT in 54, there is some extremely loud subtext where star’s feelings for rictor are explicitly compared to a het romance subplot!)
58 (star is very chill and flamboyant for like two pages, it’s great)
59-61 (VERY IMPORTANT - rictor returns because star Needs him in the midst of his identity crisis!! it’s so joyful and sweet for them both, and the subtext is so LOUD here - there’s just. so much going on, i won’t describe it all, but it’s very good content and their emotionally intimate relationship is very apparent - really excellent gaycoding. the weird shatterstar backstory wraps up circuitously and to no great effect, but the art in the last issue is very nice, and rictor’s plain and uncomplicated concern for star is great.)
63-65 (some little moments - shatterstar and rictor time travel and beat up some nazis, star has a lovely conversation with siryn,)
x-force/cable ‘97 (the team goes to asgard! the important thing is that star says some goofy “ah... warriors...” things, and then rictor teases star for liking delivery pizza. it’s very charming)
67 (they hang out with tabby in a van. shatterstar has pigtails!)
70 (VERY IMPORTANT - rictor and shatterstar exit the team together to go take down rictor’s crime family in mexico! they seem very devoted to each other. shatterstar’s hair is all the way down!)
post leaving x-force:
76 (VERY IMPORTANT - ricstar return for one issue - rictor gets held captive to force shatterstar to fight domino!)
x-force annual 1999 (VERY IMPORTANT - ricstar get their own story about what they’re doing in mexico! shatterstar has an ugly little goatee, but rictor looks great! they choose to share a room rather than sleep separately and then it kind of feels like they shared a bed! rictor has learned star’s alien language! they genuinely just seem so close and comfortable with each other, it’s incredible.) (if you’re using RTO, it’s within the rest of xforce’s issues)
they’re both in comics limbo for the first half of the 00s besides a couple random flavorless appearances. shatterstar at some point goes back to mojoworld to help with the war against mojo. then we hit peter david’s x-factor run in 2006, known as x-factor investigations (xfi). this directly follows the “house of m” event - what matters is that the vast majority of mutants have been depowered by the scarlet witch. rictor is one of them.
rictor is a main character of the team from the first issue (the series opens with him about to attempt suicide), so if you wanna read the run you can start from the beginning. x-factor is... well, there are worse-written comics. it’s an okay read, but i find PAD’s writing insufferable a lot of the time (he writes multiple man as a pretty blatant self insert, and literally every girl on the team wants to fuck him at some point or another). i read the whole thing and it’s decent comics, but you might want to skip to the ricstar.
PAD canonizes ricstar, which is great! but unfortunately: 1. he writes star as “slutty bisexual just can’t stop wanting to fuck people besides his partner who is uncomfortable with that!”, which is biphobic and sucks hugely, especially since it feels so different from xforce original shatterstar (see this post). rictor also just seems so annoyed with him all the time, which also sucks - they’re best friends!! let rictor like his boyfriend!!
anyway. if you choose not to read all of xfi, here are the ricstar highlights:
first issue of xfi for rictor's horrible mental state after m-day
14 (jamie implies that star would be jealous of rictor hanging out with quicksilver)
43, 45, 49 (star reappears!! he’s mindcontrolled, but it gets fixed, and he and rictor have the first ever on panel gay kiss at marvel!! yaaaay!! then they talk about their relationship a little)
after issue #50 it changes the numbering, so if you’re using RCO youll have to go to xfactor (1986) #200 to continue
200 (SHATTERSTAR FIGHTS THE THING!)
continue to read between here for star apparently being unable to stop kissing people. sigh. star sleeps with adult layla, which... sigh. whatever
207-208 (rictor and shatterstar semi-resolve the stupid biphobic plotline, resolve to work on their relationship, rahne discovers them (she and rictor had been sleeping together earlier in xfi), rahne is pregnant and homophobic, rahne and star fight, star is a delightful bitch)
209 (shatterstar on a pirate ship. that's it)
210 (rictor confirms that he is gay and it wasn’t legit when he’s been with women. there’s a moment where it's like "oh star makes rictor laugh" which is epic)
211-212 (star is said to be frustrated about rictor and rahne, rahne’s baby’s actual dad is revealed)
213 (rictor and rahne mostly resolve their shit)
216 (star and monet hang out, star thinks monet tells him to pee on rictor, spiderman is there)
217 (there’s a joke about the longstanding theory that longshot and star are related, monet is revealed as muslim in a very dumb way)
220 (star and rahne have a pretty nice conversation about their relationships to rictor and rahne’s faith. rictor does an offscreen internalized homophobia)
221 (star and rahne continue to hang out but it’s not as good as the previous issue.)
222 (oh my god, rictor cares about shatterstar being hurt! rahne owns up to how she kind of treated rictor like shit!)
pop over to avengers: the children’s crusade (a young avengers miniseries with good ol’ billy/teddy and i like it! but if you don’t want to read the whole thing - rictor and shatterstar appear in #6, and rictor is the first mutant to be repowered! they’re more tender with each other over their five page appearance than they are in xfi, so it’s a balm)
225-226 (PAD decides the first thing rictor does with his powers is be a scab [DEEP SIGH], rictor and shatterstar discuss rictor getting his powers back, the biphobic plotline is resolved again kind of in a very PAD-y way)
235-236 (shatterstar gets to be the main character of a mini arc. fights a mojo guy)
238 (ricstar go with rahne to help her find her son)
242 (they find her son. not as important imo)
248 (oh my god... they joke together :) they like being around each other :) also shatterstar goodboy moment. then in 249 rictor’s life is spared bc of shatterstar’s goodboy moment)
259 (SHATTERSTAR’S CRAZY CONVOLUTED BACKSTORY THAT ACTUALLY MATTERS TO HIS CHARACTER! YAHOO! and star has a cute little bob)
after xfi wraps up, there’s a couple years of limbo before they appear in secret warriors (2017) #2-3 (end of #2 and most of #3), which is a big crossover event or something. i don’t know, it’s an inhumans comic, and as an xmen person i am contractually obligated to roll my eyes at the inhumans. ricstar both have mustaches, star doesn’t speak, and rictor has the ugliest costume ever (green tracksuit with no socks??) (tabby also has a terrible costume). it’s just more inhumans trying to be a match to the xmen and utterly failing to not look & act like total jackasses (except, of course, for kamala and moon girl). rictor’s jokes that daisy johnson should get more original powers (she also has seismic powers - rictor predates her!), and then daisy blows up the xmen’s jet. while it’s in the air. this is a very neat summary of most mutant-inhuman relations.
now we enter the current era of “on again off again” relationship limbo.
rictor appears next in iceman (2017). in #9 he states that he and star have apparently broken up offscreen! and then he hits on bobby! sina grace is a cool person but this writing decision is so... aghhh. the next issue he and bobby go out on a date and he’s immediately like “yeah i only have my eyes on star”, so it seems to be more “it’s complicated” than “we’re broken up for good.” he sticks around to help out with a mission in #10-11.
they’re on again in new mutants: dead souls, where rictor is a part of the team and he’s hilarious and has so many great lines! shatterstar also makes a couple cameos throughout and they’re all super sweet! they seem very domestic and comfortable and happy, i love their dynamic in this. my favorite shatterstar panel ever is in #6, where he is making rictor pancakes and is only wearing an apron. please ignore all the big plot things that happen at the end of this, especially everything with karma. they are stupid, dumb, and do not matter.
related to nm:ds, rictor appears in multiple man #1 as part of that team and looks very very cute. and he isn’t whitewashed like in nm:ds!
off again in the shatterstar (2018) miniseries. i have a lot of mixed feelings about this because i LOVE all the rictor stuff, the first issue codes shatterstar as autistic in a very characterful way, it doesn’t whitewash rictor for once, and the covers are GORGEOUS! but it also attempts to retcon a ton of star’s emotional backstory AND arc set out in xforce, casting a black woman as his emotionally manipulative ex. also star is a landlord (ew). my advice with this one is to treat all the flashbacks as not-really-canon since they suck.
star appears in extermination (2018) #3-4 and gets mind-controlled into trying to kill the time-displaced teen o5 (timetraveling baby cable is trying to put them back where they came from), and the art looks great and i feel really bad for him. rictor makes a follow-up cameo in uncanny x-men (2019) #9-10, where you can see that he’s at the school in order to visit shatterstar since he’s with cecelia reyes. he then goes to fight nate grey/x-man, where he gets sucked into the age of x-man pocket universe/event.
around half the xmen get trapped and brainwashed in that pocket universe where there is no love or family, merely friendship and comradery (it’s an attempt by nate grey to ‘fix’ the xmen by getting rid of all the soap opera stuff - it’s a bit meta wrt how xmen are the soap opera superheroes). there are a couple different titles for this event: rictor appears in age of x-man: x-tremists #4-5. people have mixed feelings about this title due to the gay characters (northstar and iceman) enforcing no-romance laws that very intentionally parallel anti-gay laws from real life, but rictor is just chilling and running an illegal romance movies theatre, and then he gets drunk and then starts a riot and he’s just delightful in this.
everyone outside of the pocket universe thinks everyone who disappeared was killed. shatterstar is part of the team in x-force (2019) (there are two 2019 x-forces: this is vol 5, written by ed brisson) who are trying to track down young cable (baby cable, or “bable”), who killed older cable, who formed good old 90s xforce. boom-boom is the best part of this entire run, hands down. the art is expressive and interesting but i Hate how they draw warpath (the one time he’s free from comic book limbo!). shatterstar is in full “i only like fighting please let me fight i am a difficult asshole” mode, and talks about grieving rictor in #7 and #10. this is never really resolved since age of x-man is thrown over for hoxpox (BIG status quo changes & current era of xmen comics), but aside from my little ricstar heart i can’t really mind.
rictor is currently appearing as part of the team in excalibur (2019), and has been very... cozy... with apocalypse. at the time of writing (halloween 2020), it’s very heavily ambiguous what exactly their relationship is besides “intense” and i still have no clue what to think about it. he and star have been stated by the writer to be exes, but i also know tini howard is a ricstar fan so im holding out for good things! and it’s cool that rictor is getting a ton of focus and a lot of powering up. i remember reading xfi #1 and being amazed at how rictor described how soul-deep his earth powers were and wanting more of that, and excalibur has that for him in spades. (i am still withholding a lot of judgment wrt rictor’s writing in excalibur until i see how things pan out)
after reading to excalibur #12, switch over to x-factor (2020). read the first three issues because i love northstar and prodigy and rachel. please ignore a couple cringe comments towards poor daken. shatterstar appears in #3, trapped on mojoworld, getting traumatized, and breaking my heart as i write this. that last data page... free my boy!!!!
after x-factor #3, read x of swords: creation. more rictor and apocalypse being Close. after that, read x-factor #4 for apocalypse being very Attached to rictor, and then rictor looking very good and freshly resurrected. then continue reading excalibur. in may, x-factor is going back to mojoworld!!
that’s all there is so far! i think within the next year there will be even more content for us, and im very eager to get to that content. i will update this post as things come out.
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my thoughts on captain america: civil war (2016)
wow i haven't watched this movie in a while everyone looks so different
okay yeah, start the movie with bucky being tortured why not, it's not like i feel bad enough for him already
seb... babe i love you but who made you say отвечач instead of отвечать (okay okay, i'm just joking i know it's a small pronouncation mistake)
steve&nat teaching wanda how to watch her back during a mission is so cute (also wow, my queen has come a long way since this movie)
"he's cute go on pet him" SAM STOP PQJDOWBDIW
i feel like rumlow could've been used more in these movies why did they just kill him off like that
"who's the homeless person on the couch" i love howard
"if that's true you'll be a great man someday" and he did become a great man howard, he did, indeed
tony feels guilty about sokovia, wanda feels guilty about lagos and bucky feels guilty about his past. give them a break marvel
zemo switching into his own accent as soon as he got the hydra agent tied up lmao
"compromise where you can, and where you can't, don't. even if everyone is telling you that something wrong is something right. even when the whole world is telling you to move, it is your duty to plant yourself like a tree and say no. you move." sharon believed that with her whole heart and look what they did to her now I'M MAD
"staying together is more important than how we stay together" and she gave her life for them at the end no matter how much she didn't want to go
THE KING HAS ARRIVED (we miss you chadwick)
''we have orders to shoot on sight" meanwhile bucky: oooh lemme get some plums
ok so caramel chocolate bars are bucky's favourite, that's good to know
awww bucky couldn't even control his strength in this movie (throwing people off the stairs, hitting them with bricks, punching the shit out of them) and now he is barely even using his metal arm bc he's scared of killing people AWW MY BABY
i swear to god if sam wasn't there to save these two's asses all the time *eye roll*
oOOHHH THE CHASING SCENE WAS SO GOOD
when bucky grabbed that motorcycle we all felt something right?
i remembered how much it broke my heart when rhodey said "congratulations sam, you're a criminal"
vision cooking for wanda is still the cutest thing in this movie
"so you like cats" SAM
the fact that they were so scared of bucky that they had to put him in an extremely protected capsule thing... THE POWER HE HOLDS
"pregnant?" "uh, definitely not" and a few years later we see morgan wearing her mother's helmet WHY AM I MAKING MYSELF CRY
i love how steve was actually about to sign the accords until tony mentioned wanda
i forgot how much i wanted to punch zemo in this movie, he was literally so desperate to find bucky that he had to turn 7 billion people against him
"let's talk about your home, not romania, certainly not brooklyn no" well, we have some news for you zemo
the look on bucky's face when he sees the notebook and how he immediately starts screaming after hearing "рассвет" hurts my soul
BUCKYNAT BUCKYNAT BUCKYNAT
sebastian looked so ripped in this movie holy moly
wtf he really is like a death machine he could've easily killed steve in that helicopter scene
OH I FORGOT THIS WAS TOM'S FIRST APPEARANCE IN THE MCU WTF
"it's so hard for me to believe she is someone's aunt", "we come in all shapes and sizes you know" AUNT MAY I ADORE YOU
"i retire for like what 5 minutes and it all goes to shit" well he's not wrong
"move or you will be moved" ayo always steals the show with one line (tfaws spoilers guess?)
the scene that started it all guys "can you move your seat up" "no"
"thinks for thanking of me" SCOTT LANG IS A TREASURE ALRIGHT
"suit up" YEAH AND DON'T THINK ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES SHARON WILL PAY FOR BRINGING YOUR TOYS
when the craziest thing happened in the mcu was spidey joining the avengers ah good old times
the airport fight was sooo good omg
i love t'challa is just like ''just lemme kill barnes i don't care about your white nonsense"
"i didn't kill your father" "then why did you run?" UHMMM I DON'T KNOW SIR MAYBE BECAUSE YOU'RE ALWAYS TRYING TO CHOKE HIM BEFORE HE HAS A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN HIMSELF??
scott's "hohoho" will never not be funny for me
this movie got me so hyped up for a possible buckynat storyline dude i'm still mad, they had such potential
peter getting scared of tony approaching him shows how hard their job actually is i feel so bad for them
vision accidentally shooting rhodey OH MY HEART CAN'T TAKE THIS
and wtf did sam do tony for fucks sake
zemo calling the hotel from moscow so they can find the body in the bathtub lsndjsbdjs he's such a diva
avengers getting treated like criminals is still pissing me the fuck off
"you better go get a bad cop cause you're gonna have to go mark furhman on my ass to get information out of me" OKAY MY FAV SAM WILSON LINE
zemo killing all the winter soldiers instead of waking them up is a great way to show his ideology actually
"there's a bit of green in the blue of your eyes" well that sounds poetic
i don't know which is worse: seeing tony watching his mom killed, or the amount of guilt bucky must've felt in that moment, or the way tony managed to keep his cool until he realized steve acted like he didn't know the entire time AGH IT HURTS
"i remember all of them" and that look on his face SEBASTIAN STOP
the fight between steve&tony&bucky was actually one of the best scenes in the mcu in my opinion, especially when bucky's arm gets destroyed (seriously tho, watching the way he pushes tony into the wall, trying to rip off the arc reactor with his metal arm and the fury in his eyes agh i love this scene)
aww zemo deleting the voice message of his wife before attempting to kill himself broke my heart
i remember crying in the cinema watching steve and tony beat the shit out of each other... my friend who's never seen any of the mcu movies before was looking at me like i was an alien
bucky still trying to protect steve by gripping tony's foot i- HE LOVES STEVE SO MUCH
oh when tony lifted his hand to protect his face with that terried look, he thought steve was gonna finish him
i!!! wanna!!! die!!!
"are you tony stank?" stan lee we miss you, you beautiful man♡
"i've been on my own since i was 18" having multiple illnesses, and probably mental ones as well, steve only had bucky on his side. he was the only one who always got his back, making sure he was okay, always protecting him. so he knew he had to do the same. bucky was the best friend he ever had.
soo, this gave me enough trauma for today. i think i'm gonna go cry until the next episode of tfaws.
#captain america civil war#steve rogers#bucky barnes#tony stark#sam wilson#natasha romanoff#the avengers#mcu#wanda maximoff#clint barton#vision#peter parker#tfaws spoilers#james rhodes#marvel#captain america#the falcon#winter soldier#black widow#iron man#hawkeye#scarlet witch#war machine#antman#spiderman
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Bullet Wound
Follow-up to this discussion with Angel. They ended up doing the surgery in Angel’s room instead of the bar because SOMEBODY forgot that was where we agreed to meet. (It’s me I’m somebody.)
Alastor
Knock knock knock, guess who. It's Doctor Alastor and Nurse Hentai, here with their trademark "surgery with a smile" service.
Angel
He opened the door with one of his tertiary hands. The couple others were busy pressing a pink-stained... _something_ to his shoulder.
" Oh nonono, I ain't drunk enough fa THIS, YET. " Angel knocked back the remainder of whiskey left in the bottle he had before trudging to his minifridge for another. " Is Hentai, uh, gonna hurt? He slimy or some shit? How drunk I gotta be? " His eyes were beginning to lose focus.
Alastor
Alastor's gaze landed on the pink stain. Aha. There was the wound, no doubt. "It'll hurt about as much as you'd expect for something the width of a coffee stirrer to squeeze into a wound and yank a bullet out. I can dull your ability to feel around the injury."
Alastor tilted his head to peer into the minifridge, checking to see how good Angel's stash was. "I think you're quite drunk enough already! Unless you want to sleep the next two weeks." He held up the one bit of surgical equipment he'd visibly brought with him: a bottle of Everclear. "But I'd planned to use this to clean the wound."
Angel
" Oh, ya can?? " he responded with uncharacteristically dulled excitement, " Thank _fuck!_ I would'a gone fa a hit but, uh, _Bolivian Ma'chin' Powder's_ all OUT. An' I gotta... uh, show. Even if just ta say I can't work so I can get my standa'd issue ass kickin' an' come back. "
Angel then stumbled to his chair, flipping it around so he could lean forward off the back. " Just... go nuts. Fuck th' rug. I could get a Daddy ta get me a new one if it gets fucked up. Uh... youse can use th' bench if ya need to. "
Alastor
"What, sending a self-E of the bullet wound isn't a good enough doctor's note?" Alastor tutted.
He unscrewed the bottle; for the moment, he was still standing so he could remain taller than Angel. "Now, this IS going to sting—but I've got to clean you off before I can numb the area. I'd warn you to bite the bullet but—hah—we'll have to fish it out before you can do that, won't we!" And here comes the sting.
Angel
" Nah... he's gonna think I photoshopped it... " he groaned with a reach for a throw pillow to scream into. He would've laughed a little more whole-heartedly if not for the anticipated _agony_ that tensed him so hard he could've bit off his own tongue.
" _UGH THIS IS WHAT I FUCKIN' GET!_ " he muffled into the plush pink, now growing darker from the entrance wound, " Why's good shit gotta HURT so bad? It's so fuckin' _DUMB._ " Angel smothered a few more whines and hisses before getting a handle on his breathing again. " ... Can ya do the numbin' thin', yet...? "
Alastor
Ignore the studio audience laughing at your pain, it's nothing personal.
Alastor lightly brushed off what few drops of fresh blood the alcohol hadn't washed from Angel's fur. "Now I can!" He decided owing a small favor to a prince was worth it so he didn't have to drag a miniature apothecary out of his trunk, looked around for a pen or marker—ah, of course, makeup everywhere—and grabbed a tube of black lipstick. "You don't happen to have any bad blood with Prince Gaap, do you?"
Angel
Angel groaned, metaphorically biting his tongue to hold back any amount of quips or name-calling he would've fired at the hip for the sake of not pissing off the demon that was about to start poking around in him.
" Prince a who? " he asked with an instantly regrettable twist to see what Alastor was doing, " I ain't ever known any _legitimate_ royalty... I don' think... "
Alastor
"Then I'll take that as a no." He scrawled Gaap's sigil on Angel's shoulder around the wound—not his most artistic work, given how fuzzy his canvas was, but Alastor was on good enough terms with enough nobles that they wouldn't nitpick tiny errors in his work. "Now, this will make the area around your wound feel temporarily hale and hearty—but it's only a feeling. You're still just as damaged. Don't jump up and do cartwheels." He finished the double circle around the sigil and the lines started to glow green. Good. "Working yet?"
Angel
Angel took a deep breath as the nerves began to cease fire until finally, he no longer felt the need to scream or cry. Well enough to turn his head, he gave himself a peek in the mirror.
" Yeah... like I wanna do cartwheels, " Angel giggled, " Tell Prince Gaap I said thanks ~ " _An' ask him if he's single,_ he chuckled to himself as he stretched his limbs more comfortably about his chair. " Ya gonna stir me like a cup a coffee, now? " he joked.
Alastor
"I'll pass on your gratitude! Just don't tell him you owe him one if you happen to cross paths with him, he'll take it literally and then we'll both be paying him for the anesthesia."
Alastor huffed. "Once I clean the wound a little more. I don't know if you've noticed, but you've got quite a lot of fur around it." He looked around for some sort of towel that wasn't completely soaked in blood, poured a little more alcohol in it, and finally sat on the bench as he started carefully cleaning the wound itself while trying to avoid disrupting the sigil.
"You don't strike me as the type to get shot in the back," he mused. "What happened here—somebody take you by surprise?"
Angel
" Oh, he's _that_ type, " he commented, deciding on whether or not he should offer a razor. He was already going to be getting a temporary bald spot. May as well...
" If ya needa clear it some, there's clippers off th' side a the mirro- " Angel's arms and legs tightened around the chair as he sank his chin _deep_ into the pillow. _When_ was the last time...? Without the sting to distract him, all there was to focus on was the touch and it made his head swim. He didn't know how to process it, so he reverted to his go-to distraction. " _Funny how I still ended up on th' twink ma'ket cove'ed in all this peach fuzz, ah?_ "
He chuckled bitterly as his eyes swept to the ceiling. " Yeah... somethin' like that... Was a _surprise,_ alright... "
Alastor
"Most nobles are. Out of the ones that bargain with humans, anyway." He grabbed the clippers and very carefully started clearing a patch around the entry wound. "You know, between you being called one and *me* being called one, I'm beginning to think that 'twink' doesn't actually mean anything."
Alastor leaned around Angel's side to give him a vicious grin. "So, tell me about this surprise! You didn't think I was doing this without hoping to get a little entertainment in return!"
Angel
" _It means ya never get ta eat **shit,** that's what it means-!_ " he grumbled.
Then a sudden **gasp.** How the hell he manged to scare him despite being the forefront of his attention was beyond him. " _Fuckin'-_ " he groaned with a turn of his head in the opposite direction, " Was an ex... an angry one... That dramatic enough fa you? "
His claws clenched his skin as he tried to replicate the buzz of the razor into his brain. Sure would be nice if he could uncap his skull and do some doodling in _there._
Alastor
"... *Does it.*" There was a little bit of info Alastor was going to file away and never let go of.
"An ex! Oh, yes, *quite* dramatic enough! What did you do to *him?* That is to say—" One freshly alcohol-soaked claw brushed dangerously close to prying into the wound, "—was this earned, or an overreaction?"
Angel
" Earned. Def'nitely earned. Uh... " Angel pondered. He'd already vague-blogged about the incident. Any opportunity to avoid any scandal was already blown.
" She. I let her 'and it to me. It was th' _least_ I could do. "
Alastor
"*She!* That brings up some questions, doesn't it?" He dropped his impromptu wash cloth on his lap and said, "Now, as much as I'd relish prying this story out of you one detail at a time, unfortunately I won't be free to talk for a bit." He summoned up his cane. "Ready to have an alien abomination pry a bullet out of your back?"
Angel
Angel braced himself. Salt in the wound felt well deserved to him. Even if subconsciously, he'd allow every opportunity to pay for what he did to her. Being pried through by an alien abomination, sitting through a mortifying interview, and being shot point blank was a good enough start.
" Wouldn't be the _first_ time I 'ad tentacles in me ~ " he replied cheekily with a thumbs up, " Just don' let 'im get _too_ carried away, yeah ~ ? "
Alastor
"Oh, I plan to guarantee he won't!" A dark blot, small as an ink stain, opened in the air between them, and a single thin tendril wiggled out. "But while I'm giving him instructions, I won't be listening to closely to you. So!" He swung his cane around in front of Angel. "Take Mic here and let him know if you need me to stop, would you?"
Angel
" _Plan_ ta guarantee...? " He snorted, then crimson eyes flickered. He'd voluntarily _hand_ him that thing? " Yeah, ok ~ " Angel wiped off his bloody fingers and gently took the rod. " Can't feel a thin'- " _Liar._ " -so prolly won't need to. "
" Heyyy, Mic-y, how ya doin' ~ ? " he asked sweetly, turning the instrument about and inspecting him curiously. " Al give ya routine polishin'? Ya just, chill in th' other dimension 'til he calls ya? " Like a set of keys given to a toddler, he was sufficiently distracted.
Alastor
"Oh, I can't complain! It's not allowed in my contract!" The cane rolled its eye. "Naaah, who needs polishing? When I poof off, the dirt doesn't come with me!" It gave Angel a wry look. "Or d'you got another reason for asking how often Al *polishes his cane?* Eh?" Mic's humor was somewhat lowbrow compared to Alastor's usual standards. Usually Alastor would scold it for getting saucy. But right then, Alastor's brain wasn't entirely present.
He couldn't actually give his tentacled "friend" orders, per se. They were too different, too alien for normal person-to-person communication. What Alastor COULD do was broadcast a signal that let him slip into a fragment of a tentacle's mind and pilot it directly; but when he was doing so, when he was making sense of the world as the alien beast saw it, he wasn't exactly able to, say, process language.
If Angel happened to turn around, he'd see that Alastor's eyes had gone blank and filled with static. But he probably shouldn't turn around, since that was when Alastor managed to seize control of the noodle-thin tentacle that had wriggled through and fed the tip of it into the wound.
Angel
" Hehehe! I getcha, I getcha. Talk back get smacked, ah? " Angel couldn't can more giggles, but he did feel the need to do some scolding in Alastor's place. At least, as much as he _assumed_ he should.
" Buh-BUH! Shouldn't ya know better than ta be talkin' deer dick? At least, _more than me_? Ta at least keep it in th' context a dick seasoned up real nice on a silver platter? " He snickered deviously, remembering certain debaucheries he'd engaged in both before and after death. " I _like_ ya, though! Wonder how much fun ya'd be _outta_ contract ~ "
Gently tapping the deep red surface of the back with a pristinely manicured claw, Angel had a sudden urge to seize an opportunity he might not get later. " Hey... can ya do that radio thin' ta _my_ voice? "
Alastor
"You can't have slapstick without the stick! And what'm I if not a stick? You ain't gettin' me outta contract, though. That's not how it works."
(Alastor, meanwhile, has slithered the tentacle in deep enough to reach the bullet. Pardon the weird feeling as it wraps around the intrusion, and then prods briefly past the bullet to make sure it didn't penetrated Angel's lung. Whole new can of worms if it did.)
"No can do! You wanna get your voice broadcast outta the radio, sure, I'm the Mic for the job, long as Alastor's authorizing the broadcast. But if you wanna GET the radio voice? Uh-uh. Only way to sound like the Radio Demon is to BE the Radio Demon."
Angel
An eye twitched as he took a breath and felt that internal pinch. Sans the pain of one, the sensation reminded him of an air bubble he'd have to spend several minutes patting out until he could finally take a deeper breath again. He shallowed his lungs and stayed still as he could with a held breath until the tendril retreated. A deep, testing sigh of relief, then he shook his head with a glance to the mirror. Alastor sure was getting _busy._ He trusted he was in good hands.
" Nah, I don't wanna do _that._ Just wanna give ya singin' a lil' try. Not _everyday_ ya passed off t' another demon, am I right? Specially not a _talented_ one like yours truly ~ " Angel pouted and pursed his brows. " C'mon ~ Just this once! I promise I'll _do ya right ~_ "
Alastor
"Ya wanna sing, then sing! But I can't give you the voice any more than I can give you deer antlers. It ain't transferrable. It's *his.*"
And there was the bullet being slowly dragged backwards out of the wound it had caused. Carefully. But they probably weren't going to completely avoid doing a little extra damage.
Angel
" 'Tis almost th' season, Sweetie, I can give _m'self_ antle's if I wanted to ~ " He then rolled his eyes and relented, followed by some sensational weirdness in his shoulder cavity. Checking in wasn't his first instinct. It was, of course, to _play._ He'd never nail Alastor's southern belle, so he let his register drop as he casually snapped and tapped his own beat with Mic dramatically in hand. ( At least, theatrically as he could while being an obedient patient. )
https://youtu.be/eAiMOTlUVv4
Alastor
Bullet retrieved. Alastor's eyes snapped back to normal as the tentacle withdrew into its portal, dropping the bullet as it did. He caught it, but waited until the end of the song to speak up. "Not bad." He held the bullet over Angel's shoulder. "Do you want this little troublemaker?"
Angel
" Hehe! _Thanks ~ !_ " Angel took the bullet in a free hand to inspect it for shatter. Thankfully, it was all in one piece. Hentai wouldn't have to do any further digging. " What I owe ya? This thin' gonna last 'til it heals, or should I get ready ta go Vicodin huntin' _now?_ " he asked with an experimental roll of his shoulder and another check in the mirror.
Alastor
"Go Vicodin hunting. And also bandage it up, change the bandage twice daily, check for infection, et cetera et cetera." He stood, stretched, and his cane poofed out of Angel's hand and into his own. "As for what you owe me... Give me the rest of the story about this ex of yours and if I think it's interesting enough, we'll call it square."
Angel
" ... Ya ain't gonna be reco'din' it, are ya? " he asked solemnly, " Ah fuck whatever... " Angel threw himself into mercy and rummaged around his drawers for bandages.
" I 'ad a squeeze t' get the Outfit off m'back, " he began, " Drew it out as long as I could but uh, _women's_ a pretty hot topic wit' th' boys. Older I got... y'know. _Family._ They's wantin' _kids._ Big ol' fuckin'... Italian _famiglia_ ta' keep th' bootleg business goin'. "
Was it the pain of the memory or the pressure of the wrapping? Angel was thankful for it. He even dabbed at himself a bit forcefully to override any involuntary bodily response to the whole ordeal.
Alastor
"You have my solemn vow that I won't start recording." That wasn't a promise that he wasn't already recording.
Alastor could guess where this story was going; his grin widened in anticipatory schadenfreude. "Go on."
Angel
As Alastor's grin widened, Angel's eyes narrowed. He tucked his bandage and leaned back against his vanity.
" She's was _-IS-_ like you. I was about as inta her as she was inta anyone else. At least, when I wasn't mistakin' 'er fa a guy. We's was dumb kids, grew up t'gether in the same mafia network. We knew th' game an' we knew we 'ad ta play it. So we _made a deal._ "
" I broke it in, uh... 1944. "
Alastor
Now there was a twist Alastor hadn't been expecting. He'd anticipated a young bride doe-eyed with love and a young groom miserably trying to pretend it was reciprocated. But a mutual ruse was far more interesting.
And far more relatable. It wasn't very far off from his own parents' arrangement—except that theirs hadn't involved the Mafia.
"Let me guess. Get handcuffed together, play the happy couple in front of the family, ignore each other at home? Something like that?" And the one point that actually concerned him—"Were children involved?"
Angel
" No. We were very close, very convincin'. She was m' best frien'. Like Cherri, I didn' deserve 'er. E'ryone thought we was wildin' in the sack, but it never happened. No sex, no kids, just... two murderin' peas in a pod playin' th' most convincin' game a pretend... 'til I couldn't anymo'e. "
" _Could_ say we 'ad kids involved, though _THEM_ fuckin' wild childs could 'ardly bc counted. They was lil' monste's from the Forty-Two. Loved 'em like m'own. Some's prolly down 'ere. "
Alastor
Good—if they'd gotten offspring involved, that would have just been distasteful. Outside children that Angel actually liked were a different matter entirely.
"So, what did the grand breakdown look like? A big blowout fight and a demand for a divorce? No—Catholic, I presume—attempted murder?" He cocked an eyebrow. "*Successful* murder?"
Angel
Angel actually bursted a laugh. " Nope! Wasn't really... a _single thin-_ ok, it was, but uh, said _breakdown_ was less of a _single act_ an' more of a... "
His eyes searched the air for dates, encounters. It didn't help he didn't remember most of it, but he shrugged thinking that was enough indication in itself.
" _Buncha dragged out climaxes_ fa th' next... three years a so. Then I died an' left 'er ta face th' music all 'er own. Hence... " He then tapped at his shoulder and shrugged as if violence was the logical answer to beginning to level a half century-long grudge.
" She's workin' fa Rosie now. Keepin' th' fucks off 'er turf. I was one a them, " he snickered.
Alastor
Well that was the least subtle euphemism Alastor had ever heard. "You mean the prenuptial agreement for your marriage of convenience didn't include provisions for you to sleep around?" Alastor shook his head in exaggerated disappointment. "I can forgive her for the lapse—it takes multiple lessons to learn that you sexual people aren't exaggerating when you say the allure of sex is irresistible—but *you* ought to have known better!"
But never mind that, there was a personal connection now. "Well, it's a small underworld after all! If she's working for Rosie, then *I* might know her! What's her name—down here, I mean?"
Angel
" That was fa show! " he burst defensively, " We was bound by nothin' but laws an' laws is fake! " Angel pouted with a quadruple arm cross. He hadn't even _intended_ that innuendo as much as he meant to convey the feeling of being constantly at the edge of your seat for years. That'd drive _any_ sane person wild.
" She didn't _care_ who I fucked with! If ya ask _me,_ it's her _own fuckin' fault_ I went off th' 'andle because she had ta fuckin' PLAY WINGMAN AT THE MENAGERIE! "
He ignored Alastor's question of her identity at the moment. He was much too offended and much too defensive to let any shaming go unchecked, untouched by the oblivion of his violent self-assurance.
Alastor
Alastor laughed at the outburst. "Well, if she didn't care who you were crawling under the covers with, then what in the world is it you did in '44 that constituted such a great break from your 'agreement'? You didn't try to kill her, by mutual agreement you weren't cheating—what's left? Beatings? Framing her for infidelity? Eloping with a rival don's son?"
Angel
He clamped his jaw shut, gritting gold grinding into a horrid sound that soundtracked his anger. Angel didn't want to tell him any more than Alastor was surely not going to be letting it go. Should he just lie? Was that better than letting this asshole in on what was arguably _the_ most defining moment of his life?
" I already told you. I died. I left her alone when we were supposed to get through the fucking SHITSHOW together. '44 was just the year I _started..._ dying. "
Alastor
Alastor was silent for a moment as he processed that—and Angel's atypically somber tone at the announcement—and then, at last, said, "Some betrayal. Most people can't help dying—even the people who do it to themselves." Well, it didn't make for an exciting conclusion to the story—he could vaguely imagine the drama and trauma of the story in action, but the retelling left most of it out.
Still—a sham marriage in the middle of mobster family politics; it was a good enough story. "But, very well! Consider your surgery paid for. And I suppose if the two of you think that was reason enough for her to shoot you—HA!"
Alastor suddenly slapped Angel's shoulder. (By sheer luck, at least it was the uninjured shoulder.) "Have you ever heard that joke? 'My ex-wife still misses me—but her aim's getting better!'" Studio audience laughter. "I guess she doesn't miss you!"
Sometimes Alastor kills himself.
Angel
He _almost_ wished he had slapped his injured shoulder, just so he'd have a more solid reason to hit him back. Nonetheless, he managed to dodge _that_ bullet so Angel figured he could call it a day. A day to start dealing opioids.
" Yeah. She didn't miss, alright. " The corner of his mouth could only twitch. He wasn't consciously _stifling_ a smile, but his every deep-seated instinct to self-destruct at the slightest brush with self-awareness took more effort than he had to deal.
" Bel. La Donna. Like th' poison. She's like yay high an' redder than ya fuckin' mop before ya treatment. A spider. Like me. "
Alastor
"Oh, come now, that was funny and you know it."
Alastor's eyes lit up in recognition. "Oh! *Bel!* Yes, we're acquainted! Not *well*, but well enough we'd be obligated to say hello if we passed on the street. My, my, it really *is* a small underworld."
Angel
" Aw _fuck,_ " he groaned, " Best _keep_ it that way. This place is already starting to feel like Double Hell. Last thin' I need's YOU TWO tag-teamin' me... "
Angel then lazily fished for his phone and hit up a dealer. " I'm gonna head out fa meds. Youse- " He hesitated. " ... gonna need anythin'? I'll replace ya everclear. "
Alastor
"Don't you worry! We don't talk much. Anyway, if she's gone this long without spreading the news around Rosie's inner circle that her ex-husband is Hell's biggest porn star, I doubt she has any interest in discussing it now."
He shook his head; he got the story behind the bullet, he had his payment. "It wasn't my bottle, I got it for this."
Angel
" Heh heh... that's the funny thin', " he confessed, " _She ain't known I was goin' by Angel Dust until t'day._ " He picked up a jacket and shrugged through the sleeves. " She always knew how ta cover my tracks. I _don't know_ how generous she's gonna be _now,_ but... here's hopin' she's satisfied with gettin' me penetrated by an alien named Hentai. "
He snickered, returning some to his usual self. " Thanks anyways. Ya didn't have t' be helpin' me out. "
Alastor
"And what's she going to do if she doesn't feel generous? Tell people that the famed porn star Angel Dust married a beard when he was alive? I hardly think that would cause a scandal down here!"
He waved off the thanks. "I'm perpetually bored and bullet wounds are almost always interesting."
Angel
" Oh you'd be surprised ~ Though. I don't think she's the type. Prolly just shoot me again fa hidin' from 'er all these years. "
He snickered and shot Alastor some fingerguns. " If she does, I'll let her hit somethin' interestin' fa ya ~ "
Alastor
Alastor tilted his head thoughtfully. “Yes, that... does sound like her.” He didn’t know a lot about Bel, but he knew THAT. How had Angel described himself and her, murderous peas in a pod or something of the sort? “See if you can’t persuade her to avoid the lungs and the bowels. Those are a pain to deal with. For me. But I imagine they’d also be a pain on the receiving end!”
Angel
" _The heart it is then ~_ " he sang with a wink, landing a heavy hand upon Alastor's shoulder on his way towards the door, " If ya see 'er aroun', be good ta her, ah? I should be back in time fa late dinner. "
Alastor
"A classic! How symbolic."
He gave Angel a farewell nod as he headed out himself. "I'll set aside some leftovers for you." *Never get to eat shit,* his ass. Not on his watch.
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Pokemon Legendary Themes Ranked
I saw a video of a youtuber I like doing this tier list so I thought I’d get my own opinions in first so I’m not biased by theirs. This list is a little incomplete- there’s a few things I know are missing, most pointedly side game stuff, but I suppose they can’t win em all. Thus, here are my objectively factual opinions, no nostalgia bias here surely. Here’s a link to the list in case you want to do the same.
(Tiers are sorted in increasing quality right to left)
D Tier
Mewtwo (FRLG): Y’all know Articuno/Zapdos/Moltres also use this, right? It’s just a marginally more dramatic version of the regular wilds music, so it gets the fail from me.
Mew (Emerald): This is the same as the last one! Except it gets the edge because it is slightly higher pitched, and because it’s in a game where it’s not a remix of a song you’ve just heard dozens of times.
Mewtwo (XY): I just really dislike the soundfont XY uses for most of its themes. This sounds like a shitty youtube remix from the late 00s with like 300 views, and most of them are the same person who really likes the song for some reason. Am I just biased against the kanto wilds theme? Maybe.
Regis (Crown Tundra): Narrowly dodges being the worst Regis theme since the Platinum one exists (It’s not on this list though). I think a lot of the more recent versions of older themes suffer since they were designed with the lesser hardware in mind. It is a shame because I do really like some of the additions to the theme.
C Tier
Dynamax Legend (Crown Tundra): Mewtwo is already back for his last appearance on the list. It’s just a remix of the max raid theme, which I don’t really care for- especially after hearing it over and over and over again grinding Lairs for shinies.
Calyrex (Crown Tundra): This song being dramatic makes no sense in universe- the player knows this is the big legendary, but the character sure doesn’t- but it ultimately feels hollow. This is deliberate, since it’s actually just one half of another song.
Steeds (Crown Tundra): h o n s e theme is the other half of that song, and it’s the better half, but its still incomplete.
Aura Trio (X/Y) and Solgaleo/Lunala (S/M): These two get lumped together because I always get them conflated, which signifies to me that neither has made a strong impact. Listening to both again, I think I like the latter more, but it’s narrow.
Regis (ORAS): It’s just not the same without the horns. My gen 6 bias is showing, but I don’t really like the soundfont.
Deoxys (ORAS): similar to the Regis, this is held back by the soundfont (why the fuck is there an organ in this??) but also by the fact that at this point, the Deoxys theme just isn’t special anymore. And that’s kinda sad.
Calyrex 2 (Crown Tundra): The full version of this theme is much better, obviously, sounding suitably regal for the king of the tundra, but it overall lands at a meh. The percussion sounds like it’s trying to rip off the Weather Trio’s, which is a big no-no.
B Tier
Eternatus 1 (SwSh): We are now entering the songs I like zone. Eternatus 1 goes in a lot of different directions, and despite how 13-year-old me would balk at it I actually enjoy the dubsteppy bits of it. Sorry to disappoint you, you edgy fuck.
Ultra Beasts (SMUSUM): I don’t know why these are separated, they’re the same theme. I really like the UB theme, but the thing is it isn’t really a legendary theme- it had to be a bit less bombastic seeing as you can just encounter a bunch of these bad bois. And while it sounds suitably alien, I still think it doesn’t belong on this list.
Weather Trio (ORAS): Why is this listed as this, its just for Rayquaza. Extremely dramatic, but a retread of one of my S-tier picks (spoilers oops) and not different enough for the remaster to make it worth it.
Primals (ORAS): the same as the previous, but I do like this much better, what with the song “reverting” to the original every so often. This should probably be higher, but I don’t want to separate it from the “full” version.
Eternatus 2: It’s kind of a shame how little time you get to hear this, because it’s a big ol “you’re fucked” and that’s pretty great. There are bits of this that sound like they’re sampling Kirby Super Star, and I mean that in the nicest possible way.
Galar Birds (Crown Tundra): While I know everyone used to adore this one, I think the honeymoon phase is over for me at this point. I still like it, but at the end of the day it’s still a Kanto Wild remix.
Legendary (BWB2W2): This is really good! The way the tempo shifts around the song is a really nice touch, and that build section is excellent. Just a solid overall theme.
Tao Trio (BW): Reshiram and Zekrom’s themes are slightly different, but even Game Freak forgot that one. Kyurem’s is the same but where they have different SFX it just has dead air, which while fitting is a bit less good. I adore the beat this one has running, almost a throbbing bit going on there. Edit: Ok on relisten I’ve heard Kyurem’s a bit closer, and it’s a little different with some record skips, but they’re pretty unecessary imo.
Zacian/Zamazenta (SwSh): This is one I kinda wish was less dramatic, considering it’s not as oh shit as the situations their other themes have. I kinda hate the opening to this, but the rest of it makes up for it I suppose.
Eternatus 3: Yeah this is a Z/Z theme not an Eternatus theme let’s be real. A suitably triumphant third act to the climax of SwSh’s (lackluster) story. This is kinda just a banger, very much appropriate for the beatdown it accompanies.
Dialga/Palkia (DPPt): Closing the tier with a song that I actually love, but it’s occurred to me that it’s a little odd sitting next to some of these other ones. I mean, it’s mostly built around this very pretty little piano line, which makes it feel less weighty than the competition. It’s a classic, and hasn’t aged poorly or anything, but it’s less of a climax than I would expect. With that in mind, I shudder to think of what would happen to this in a potential remake.
A Tier
Mysterious Being (SwSh): This is getting carried here by that bass alone. The rest of it is ok I guess.
Arceus (DPPt): Ah, the track no one ever got to hear. I really love how sparse this is, being basically only percussion most of the way through. I think the Arceus event is something we should have actually gotten to experience, I’m pretty sure it would have blown little me’s mind.
Lugia (HGSS): HGSS, the games where every legendary got its own theme. Bring this back please, I’m begging here. I understand the reason this sounds the way it does is because it’s based on the Shadow Lugia theme from XD, but I haven’t played that one, so I can’t comment. I’m sure not complaining, though- considering Lugia’s other main appearance (in the movie, of course) I wasn’t expecting such a menacing theme.
Legendary (DPPt): For a “generic” theme (fucking Rotom gets this btw) this has a lot going for it. The animation that plays when you start a fight with this music is burned into my brain. It’s fast, it’s tense, and it sounds great.
Lake Trio (DPPt): Unlike Mysterious Being, while the bass slays here, it’s not alone carrying the song. This track was always my favourite out of Diamond and Pearl, and those games have a fucking great soundtrack, so.
Black/White Kyurem (B2W2): I really love that this is a remix of the (also very menacing) theme you hear when you boot the game up- you’ve heard a version of this while staring at the fucker, now here’s the real version for when you have to fight it. The references to the regular Tao Trio theme are well placed, but this more bombastic version sounds like Kyurem is here to fucking kill you, which to be fair, it kinda is.
Legendary Beasts (Crystal/HGSS): I’m lumping these together since, although HGSS gave each their own remix, they’re basically the same theme. This was the first Legendary music ever written for the series, and it still holds up really well. As for the HGSS remixes, I don’t think Entei’s slower rockier version works as well, but I really like the punchy percussion on Raikou’s version.
Regis (RSE): Hella bass and Hoenn Horns? What’s not to love? I do think the original version of this theme is by far the best one, being an ample payoff for the puzzle that was getting to it in the first place, and it makes hurling balls at the golem’s much more tolerable. I literally never caught Registeel as a kid so I could go back and listen to this whenever I wanted.
Tapus (SMUSUM): Again, why are these separated. Considering this game has literal aliens in it, the Tapu theme in SM is somehow the most messed up sounding one, but it works extremely well. The surprise vocalisations work really well with the… I’m hesitant to say tribal, but I don’t have another word for that vibe to be honest. It does feel like you’re doing a transgression with this song, which you are (why the fuck are you allowed to catch these things in universe lmao).
Ultra Necrozma (USUM): Probably the most climactic song in the entire franchise, and it makes sense- this isn’t just the climax of those games, but the finisher to the entire 3DS era of the series. The church organs, therefore, are pretty justified. This song sounds like a Big Deal, and the organ getting pretty jazzy when it gets to some of the less intense bits is a really nice little touch. And then the percussion picks up again and oh fuck here we goooooo. A fitting track for arguably one of the hardest fights in the entire franchise.
S Tier
Dusk Mane/Dawn Wings Necrozma (USUM): Haha oops I like this one more than Ultra. I think it’s just the unstoppable percussion that opens this that does it. I don’t think anyone who went in blind saw this moment in the games coming, and the intensity reflects this- its like a prelude to Ultra but it doesn’t have as much of a low point, with the onslaught of noise fitting the sheer OH FUCK that is seeing everyone’s favourite bag-dodger getting bodyjacked out of nowhere.
Weather Trio (RSE): Anyone who understands my bias is gonna understand this one. It’s almost entirely carried by nostalgia, but I just love this fucking song. Compared to some of the other things on this list, it feels nearly minimalistic, seeing as it’s pretty much just the drums, horns, and that bell, but that’s all it needs. It’s the first song in the series for a proper legendary, and it suits that fact.
Deoxys (FRLG/E): By contrast, the Deoxys theme is pushing that GBA soundfont to its absolute limit. You can hear some of the best of both the FRLG and RSE soundtracks in this song, with the Kanto percussion and the Hoenn horns both doing their part, but whatever instruments the rest of this is going for are absolutely not slouching either. It’s somewhat telling that the best soundtracks for FRLG romhacks (e.g. Clover) sound more like this than like the other themes in the game.
Ho-Oh (HGSS): Oh fuck is that a koto I love kotos. By contrast with Lugia, Ho-oh is a more relaxed track that takes a lot from traditional Japanese instruments, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t dramatic- far from it. The groove in this makes it sound like it comes from another series entirely, being so incredibly different from anything else the series had to offer at that point. That main riff is so fucking perfect, man.
Giratina (Platinum): I remember having my mind blown when I first heard this. Giratina went from the generic DP legendary music (which is obviously still good) to this chaotic energetic power play, and I was sold on Platinum immediately (like everything before XY, Platinum came out in Japan some months before in other countries, so I heard this well before the game dropped). This song has so many different lines, so many different builds, and yet none of them feel out of place. I almost feel like this song is what started me down the path that would lead to me being a prog fan. After the haunting ambience of the Distortion World, this sheer energy is such a shock to the system, and the climax of the song hits harder than any individual moment on any other song in the series. It’s my number 1 pick, and I love it to bits.
Thus, the full list is as follows. If you end up doing your own, link me up, I’d love to see how wrong you are your opinions.
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mtmte liveblog issue 19
it’s 2021 now!! time for more transformers
we start off w/a flashback showing tyrest retrieving ultra magnus’s body from the ship - and we get a look at magnus’s spark, which is the green color of a 0.1%er [eyes emoji]
tyrest punching magnus..... grrrrr leave my dad alone bastard man
‘the divided self’ what a good title
rodimus is like listen man this is a lot for my poor thot brain to take in
in flashback land, we see tyrest immediately launch into a crazy person spiel about how he can and will edit the law as he sees fit to conform to the situation, because that doesn't seem like a blatant abuse of power or a huge conflict of interest or anything
oooh the screen in the corner that says ‘thought warfare,’ I see that
oof, poor magnus. its gotta be rough to hear your boss rant about how bad at your job you are....especially bc this is right after overlord called magnus a joke and nearly killed him
its especially brutal bc as magnus says, his job is his life
augh, I love the panel where the armor is falling off around minimus, and then the one where he’s holding the ultra magnus head...poetic
its fascinating that there was an ‘original’ magnus who was an actual guy, and then tyrest chose to make him into this legacy symbol - I'm assuming the OG magnus had no say in this, and probably didn't even know that he was gonna become this lawman legacy figure
I do wanna know though - obviously everyone thought that ultra magnus was one dude, but how did the different guys wearing the armor deal w/that? like, did minimus have people coming up to him like ‘hey ultra magnus old buddy! remember when we fought those guys in that one place? good times!’ like, do they have to study up on the lives of the past armor wearers to prepare for the role of ultra magnus?
augh poor minimus, of course he’s been wondering about what happened with overlord after he was KO’d
oof, drift...I feel like minimus looks surprised and a little skeptical at the idea that drift was the one behind the entire overlord thing - which is interesting bc as we saw at the beginning of the story, he doesn't exactly trust drift, but it’s still pretty far-fetched that one person orchestrated the entire thing
tailgate :(
the concept of a load-bearer is SUPER cool, I love it so much
it also puts a much-needed limit on things - as in, there IS a limit to how much weight/mass a normal cybertronian frame can carry, which is why you don't see everybody upgrading to be Massive - bc they actually CANT
oof, the worst part is that tyrest is RIGHT, minimus essentially DID have a nervous breakdown after the war ended bc of the rigid way he views the world
mental health support is clearly in shambles for cybertronians, yikes. they literally have 1 therapist for their entire race, and he’s not even licensed anymore due to hipaa violations. what a mess
the ‘attention deflectors’ thing is so cool and clever and also a great explanation as to why ratchet or anyone else never said ‘hey wait a minute, you're actually a much smaller dude in a trench coat’
I love tailgate knowing all the stuff about the autobot code bc of magnus...my BOY
and THATS why minimus was asking about skids specifically earlier!
oh minimus, please don't put so much stock in tyrest being stable and resonable...
aaaand there's skids and swerve! brainstorm says it best - ‘because something unexpected hasn't happened for at least nine seconds.’ lmao ily brainstorm
finally checking in w/whirl and cyclonus - god I love that. whirl asking cyclonus how many cons he killed and cyc is like psh I wasn't keeping count....................ok it was six
hhhhh cyclonus IS looking for a cure for tailgate, even though he told tg that there wasn’t anything to hope for....excuse me as I go be emo
and now we flash over to the unethical medical conduct hell zone, where pharma is being weird and horny and ratchet is appropriately horrified
I seriously love how unhinged pharma looks, the art & colors do such a good job conveying his feral energy
ratchet has some massive dick energy for taunting pharma when he’s currently just a head and pharma has dual chainsaws for hands
ugh, I love whirls speech about anger...and I feel like he really does see cyclonus as a peer, despite cyclonus wanting to kill him, which is why he tells cyclonus all of this
I fuckgin love that cyclonus’s reaction to very suddenly getting stabbed thru the abdomen is to just glance down at the sword, looking mildly inconvenienced
back over to ratchet - and at first its like oh wow I can’t believe pharma was stupid enough to let ratchet goad him into this contest....but then you see first aid and ambulon and its like UH OH this is gonna be BAD
the idea that getting sliced in half is no big deal for a cybertronian is wild
‘you're gonna let doctor djd cut us in half?’ yeahhhh that's an appropriate reaction, yikes
FUCKING LENGTHWAYS GOD
pharma you piece of shit
poor ambulon :( :( :( that's fucking brutal. amazing panel but....jesus
and like, to further my point from last issue’s liveblog - the fact that this very gore-y panel is okay, but swearing isn't...that's really funny honestly. I guess robo-gore is acceptable, while I'm guessing regular ole run of the mill human gore wouldn't be
then back to cyclonus, who is still looking only vaguely put out by the sword stuck right thru him
and then cyclonus just pulls it right out, which is a very bad idea for humans but probably not as big of a deal for big near-immortal alien robots
circle of light stuck in capitalistic urban hellscape cubicals
poor skids, being asked to stand trial while having no idea what his crime is due to Big Amnesia
OH SHITTTT I totally forgot that getaway shows up here
that is super clever though, with chromedome confusing the name ‘getaway’ with the concept ‘needing to escape’
cant believe tyrest is really dumb enough to tell minimus all his evil plans
BUT that means its time for some very important forged vs constructed cold lore
jro spelling ‘program’ as ‘programme’ made me remember when he said that he considers everyone on the lost light to be british, which is perhaps the least valid thing he’s ever said vhbghjsdbfjkhasbjk
the idea that they used the matrix - which is portrayed as kind of a holy object - in reproductive experiments is really interesting
AUGHHHHH this is all so good and interesting...im really fascinated w/this particular brand of like, alien robot racism/constructism/whatever you wanna call it - I feel like it does such a good job as a plot device, where many other ‘fantasy racism’ concepts from other franchises fail, bc there's not really a ‘human metaphor’ being used here (as far as I know/can tell) - as in, this isn't a thinly veiled metaphor for something that happened/could happen in human history
in fact, this type of bigotry (or w/e you wanna call it) isn't something that is even really possible in humans - I guess if there was a stigma against being born via ivf or something...? but there isn't, so there's no obvious real-world equivalent, which I take as a sign of good writing and worldbuilding - it makes the cybertronians feel more Real, bc of course they would have their own types of bigotry based off of completely different things than humans
additionally - and this is crucial - tyrest is wrong: there’s no like, inherent moral corruption in cold constructed bots. there's no difference at all, other than method of construction. fantasy racism plotlines often flounder here, with the oppressors having a ‘valid reason’ for oppressing the oppressed, but tyrest is just operated on religious zealot bs and some biased science
like, dude, did you ever think that maybe there are other reasons why your trials only condemned cold constructed bots? like, maybe the trial itself was biased? or societal conditions were to blame? correlation is not causation, my dude, especially when the conclusion is ‘cold constructed bots are inherently SINNERS’ lmao
like, tyrest rlly said ‘FUCK separation of church and state,’ huh
anyways I just think the whole cold construction vs forged thing is really interesting and well-done, and serves as a good precursor to the more fleshed-out functionism stuff we see later
so tyrest is clearly off his rockers w/the whole drilling thing - dude, you accidentally gave yourself a lobotomy, okay - but I find it kinda funny that he’s right about a lot of that stuff he said at the end, about primus and the guiding hand and stuff being real
cyclonus saying ‘tailgate and the others’...I see you, man, I see you
also cyclonus looks fine now??? didn't he just get stabbed???
ah, tyrest sprinkling a little light genocide onto his plan to find salvation. nice, dude!
MINIMUS NOOOOOOOOO
‘fully deserved’ SHUT UP BIIIIITCH
poor minimus is taking a lot of Ls this arc, geez
oof, great issue! again, as usual....I loved the lore we got this issue, its so interesting...and some good character stuff too. I love minimus, I feel like he’s gonna be my fav this readthru; my first read my fav was brainstorm, second readthru was whirl, and I feel like its minimus/magnus this time. I just love his character arc...
hype af for more B)
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I had a really bad day (I wont say why because I wouldnt want you to feel like I'm guilting you into anything) and I was wondering if maybe you had a dfv/lfv or inimitable verse drabble you havent put up or one on here you really like you could point me to (navigation is hard on mobile) or even just some like hcs. If not its totally ok! You dont owe me anything. But I thought I'd ask and see if that's ok.
Oh no!
Sorry that you had a rough day my dear. I don’t have much in the works for those verses right now (I’ve been hammering my head against a wall, trying to write out a piece exploring Gwen and Murderdock’s relationship–it’s not working tho, so I’m stopping). Of course any of the Clint-based pieces are fun in those verses if you need a pick me up, but I am equally fond of Chapter 13 of Sidebars.
But! If you don’t mind a little piece from Lying by Omission/The Sprawl I’ve got cute little bit of Jack and Ben going out to dinner with Matt and Peter?
I’ll put it under the cut if you’re down
—-
“Dad, let’s go out to eat.”
Jack didn’t trust that. Jack had been scarred by the durian. Permanently scarred. He was never coming back from the durian. He was etching a durian with a big ‘X’ through it into the top of his next coffin for future archaeologists to find and have absolutely no questions about.
Matt, sensing that he was presently not receiving the amount of attention that he could be receiving, oozed out of the kitchen and draped himself over the back of the couch, right behind Jack’s shoulders. Jack glanced to the side and noted that he was wearing shoes.
He wasn’t chancing it.
“No shoes on the couch,” he said.
“It’s my couch,” Matt hummed, already migrating over to the couch’s arm, no doubt to burrow his way under Jack’s own arm.
“It’s a couch.”
“My couch,” Matt hummed, plucking Jack’s phone out of his hand and tossing it callously to the other side of said couch. He then executed the burrow and wriggled himself over so that he was the sole occupant of Jack’s lap. He waited, as sweet as could be, until he had Jack’s more or less undivided attention.
The kid was heavy. Jack couldn’t tell if he knew just how heavy he was.
He suspected that he was more than aware of it.
Matt beamed at him. He did not pull his shoed feet over the couch’s arm.
A sign of obedience. Or perhaps a buttering-up technique.
Tricky, tricky.
“Why do we need to go out to eat? What’s wrong with what’s in the fridge?” Jack asked Matt’s untrustworthy grin.
It faded a little because there was a pout which needed doing.
“I’m tired of eating potatoes,” Matt huffed.
“Take it back,” Jack scolded him. “I won’t hear any raggin’ on tatties in this household.”
“I want rice.”
“I’ll make you rice, Matty.”
“I don’t want your rice.”
Picky little shit. Just like his mother. She’d been the type to refuse a peanut butter and jelly sandwich if the slop wasn’t equally distributed.
Jack’s rice was perfectly fine. It even had bits of onion in it. If he was feeling real fancy, he might even cook it in broth or something.
“Fine, so make rice yourself,” he said. Matt squirmed up and wrapped arms around Jack’s neck. He put his cheek against it and immediately made the skin there it itch.
“You need a shave,” Jack huffed, reaching back for his phone. Vanessa was doing battle with her replacement: Bella the cat. She was giving their zombie group the play by play of the her and the cat’s opposing campaigns to win Wade’s favor. Thus far, Bella had broken a plate and gotten scratchies and kisses for it. Vanessa was outraged.
It was an outrage to behold.
“Daddy.”
Not this again. This was no reason to bring out the big guns.
“Get your shoes,” Matt whined.
“Baby, you can go out. I’m not stopping you from going out. No one is stopping you from going out, god help us,” Jack told him.
Matt abandoned his neck, stretched out, quick as a whip, and snatched the phone on the other cushion. He crammed it into his shirt and then replaced himself and his face-broom against Jack’s pulse point.
Yeah.
Yeah, Jack didn’t know what he’d expected to happen here.
“Matt,” he warned.
“Dinner.”
“The last time we went to dinner, you broke my heart, soul, and trust.”
“I won’t do it again.”
“Uh-huh. Yeah, right. ”
“I won’t,” Matt promised, pulling back to add puppy eyes to the mix.
That was unfair. Uncalled for. Totally underhanded.
“Why don’t you go out with Foggy?” Jack tried as a last-ditch effort.
“Because I want to go out with you,” Matt emphasized. “My pops. My old man. We gotta bond. It’ll make me more well-adjusted. The internet says so.”
Jack was confiscating the internet. The internet was a know-it-all snitch.
“DAD.”
“Fine, for fuck’s sake, boy. Get off, you’re drowning me here.”
Jack would go out to dinner on one condition.
Two conditions actually.
1) There was to be no durian. Anywhere. At all.
2) He got to bring moral support.
Matt was more than cool with that because it meant that he could replace the durian with another creative element which would equally torture Jack.
So Jack asked Ben Parker to come along. Parker was sharp as a tack. Compared to Jack, he was a man of the world. A reasonable and sensitive body with respect for his fellow humans. He promised to help Jack identify potential threats to his person flung his way by his uncaring and mischievous son.
Unfortunately, to that end, Matt insisted that they take Ben’s nephew, Peter, out with them too.
Jack knew from the start that this was Matt inserting his chaos element into what might otherwise be a perfectly tolerable and uneventful night out. But he also held out hope that Peter would be the sweet, kind-hearted boy he appeared to be.
It really was too much to ask for.
Peter latched his whole body onto Matt within seconds of their two parties meeting up and the two of them immediately set to whispering which bode poorly for everyone else involved.
“I believe we may have made a mistake,” Ben observed, rubbing thoughtfully at his chin.
Matt wanted rice and Peter wanted something sour enough to leave ulcers in his mouth, so the two of them decided that Thai food would achieve both of these effects. Jack was suspicious. Ben told him that Thai food was very tasty and he had little reason to fear, except.
Except.
“Peter hates durian, it’s fine, he won’t be setting up any conspiracies around it,” Ben promised him.
Mm.
They’d see about that.
Foggy had said something similar when he and Matt had dragged Jack out for Filipino food.
Jack was pretty sure that Peter just wanted a lime. He was 90% sure that all Peter’s cravings could be satisfied with a lime right now.
Matt, however, in an unlikely turn of events, convinced him that he should get food-substances to accompany his burning desire for limes. Peter grumbled at this and deferred to his uncle for support in the face of this logic.
Chaos element, located.
“Pick a carb,” Ben directed.
“Sugar is a carb,” Peter argued.
“Pick a carb in a less refined form,” Ben countered easily.
“If it’s raw sugar, it—”
“Veg, noodles, or rice,” Ben offered him.
Peter scowled.
“You said a carb,” he pouted. “I want sugar.”
“I have good news for you, sweet child of mine,” Ben said fondly. “There is sugar in everything served in the United States of America. You will have your sugar. Pick its structure: veg, noodles, or rice.”
Ben made Jack feel like a shit dad sometimes. Although, to be fair, Jack hadn’t been a dad as long as Ben had.
Peter, outwitted and bitter about it, agitated Matt to help him.
Matt saw no need for that.
“You’re gonna be hungry in an hour and then you’re gonna whine about it,” he declared.
Peter scowled at him and then turned his lethal puppy eyes onto Jack. Jack set up a menu between the two of them because he was not strong enough to cope with that.
Peter whined behind it.
Things were going too smoothly for too long. Jack did not trust the decent behavior happening at this table. Ben got a kick out of his paranoia, which was great because someone needed to.
“What are you hiding?” Jack asked Matt. Matt scoffed.
“Chill, old man,” he said. “We’re literally just having dinner. Maybe try to have a good time, huh?”
No.
Something evil was afoot.
Peter snickered. Matt swatted at him; he easily dodged the hand.
Trouble.
Dinner was eaten and paid for and Jack eventually gave up and settled down. Begrudgingly, he had to admit that Matt was right. Thai food was nice. No incidents had occurred. There was no durian. Ben and Peter made for good conversation, even if everything led back to Peter’s obsession with sci-fi films.
Ben told him that if he kept mentioning them, the aliens would hear him and his name would start to move up higher up on their list of potential captures.
The kid was horrified.
Matt helpfully started counting off the number of times Peter had mentioned aliens in the last week and Peter had briefly looked like he was going to cry.
“Is your wife not going to hear of this?” Jack asked Ben as they walked after the trouble duo who had determined that they were finding dessert at a different location. They seemed to know what they were after, so Jack and Ben left them to it.
“Oh, she will,” Ben said.
“And you don’t mind?”
“She encourages it. She’s convinced him that if you leave a tv on static, aliens can pick up on your watch history.”
Interesting parenting techniques going on here.
Ben laughed.
“Well, I guess we just figure that if you’ve got a weird kid, it’s easier on everyone if you just lean into it. My brother probably wouldn’t be so down with it, but he’s not here, so whatever.”
Ah, right.
“Peter’s your brother’s son, then,” Jack noted.
Ben hummed.
“I…guess,” he said uneasily. “I—it’s hard to explain. I mean, biologically, yeah he’s Rich’s son. But, you know, me and May’ve raised him for longer than Rich and Mary were ever in his life, so, I dunno. Is it fucked up that I kind of think of him as my son?”
No. Not at all.
“My eldest brother pretty much raised me,” Jack told him. “My mama couldn’t be assed to do anything more than scream at the drop of a hat and my daddy was busy drinking himself to death, so Bill was the one who got me up and dressed and off to school in the morning. I always thought of him as a mix between a brother and a mom.”
“No shit?” Ben said. “Where is he? He still around?”
Uuuuuuuh.
“We haven’t talked for a long time,” Jack said.
“Oh? Well, now’s your chance you know.”
Jack tried not to wince too sharply. Ben caught it anyways.
“Or not,” he said. “You don’t have to if its painful or something.”
Oh, buddy.
“We’ll see,” Jack decided. “I’ll need to think about it.”
He didn’t know how Matt would react. Hell, he didn’t know how he would react to seeing Bill again.
Matt and Peter presented Jack with a drink that had evil hiding in the bottom of it.
He should have known better to think he’d escape that night uninjured.
–
I hope this cheers you up my dear and that things get easier for you soon!
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