#Oh god that was the worst choice of character to quote in reference to this because— [SCENE CUT FOR TELEVISION]

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

I wish I could see a blender and be normal about it.

[cosplayingwitch]

Costumes?

Newest thing I've written. Probably sucks. Yet here it is. I've only proofread it once, so there's probably mistakes. Oh, and the ending definitely sucks, but I couldn't find a better ending that made sense.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff/fem!reader

Other Characters: no other characters specified, though there are two implied at the end. Oh, and the characters they're dressing up as too, but those are just characters in this universe too

Warnings: none- pure fluff!

Summary: Wanda makes you go out to dinner the night before a comic con/costume contest when you're still working. Little does she know that you have a surprise for her in the morning.

Word Count: Not quite 1k

A/N: This was started before my own costume competition last weekend and finished today. (Not as Elsa, but the hand-beading-sucks thing still applies.) Also, this was written in a first-person style (which I found I like better than the other styles I've been trying.)

A/N 2: I also reference the reader having powers. That goes nowhere and we never find out what they are. You decide what they are yourself.

“You’re coming out to dinner tonight and that’s final.” Wanda said, exasperated by my stubborn insistence on staying home.

“But the comic con and contest is tomorrow and my costume isn’t done. If I go out to dinner with you I know I’ll probably lose more time than I can afford to. Though I would appreciate some takeout.” I said, still being my very stubborn self.

“No, you’re going out before you go insane. You have five minutes before I force you out the door. Besides, I can always help you when we get home.”

“I can’t let you help. I know you’ll use your powers and that’s cheating.”

“Five. Minutes.”

I guess it was my fault that I didn’t listen to her. Five minutes later my project slid itself off my lap and my body began to move itself.

“You wouldn’t!” I yelled at Wanda.

“Well obviously I am. Now. It’s your choice if you get dressed to go out or leave in your pajamas.”

“Still not fair! I thought we agreed, no using powers on each other!”

“And I thought we agreed that you wouldn’t let yourself get consumed by this costume project of yours. After the last one you could barely use your hands for a week.”

She had a point there. And that’s also not counting the three days it took to get all the dye from the body paint off. Or the hot glue burns. Not the point.

Wanda let me have control of my body again and I choose to get dressed before she makes me leave in pajamas.

Maybe this will make her a little less upset at my plan for tomorrow?

Because I’m like 70% sure she’ll hate it, and 30% sure she won’t even agree to it. And yet, I’m trying anyway. I don’t know why, but I am.

----------------------------------

We end up at our favorite little pizza place a few blocks away.

“This sooo could have been takeout.” I say, still a little upset that I’m even out to dinner right now instead of working.

“No. Takeout would mean you would ignore your food until it was cold so you could ‘finish one last thing’” Wanda says the last part with air quotes.

She knows me too well. That is absolutely something I’ve done before. And probably will do again, if I’m honest.

“Hey, Wanda! Hey, Y/N! The usual?” Angie asks from behind the counter.

(We’ve definitely been here too much if she knows our names.)

Wanda answers before I can. “Yeah. But add some of those fried cheese sticks y/n loves so much.”

“We don’t-” I start to object. I usually don’t get those unless I’ve had a particularly stressful day and she knows that.

“No. If you decide not to eat them, I will. But the last few days you’ve put yourself under a lot of stress, even if you won’t admit it. So cheese sticks are in order.”

God they were so good. Maybe going out to dinner was a good idea?

I mean, I was probably going to be up until midnight anyway. Why did I decide to hand bead things again? Worst decision I’ve made in a while.

-----------------------------------------------

In the morning, I wanted to kick my own ass for staying up that late when I knew I had to get up early. At least I finished it, I reminded myself.

As I woke up Wanda, she complained and tried to swat me away.

“You’re the one who has to get dressed all fancy. I don’t, so I’m sleeping until we need to leave.” She said, groggily.

“So…” I began. “About that. You’re dressing up with me this time.”

Her eyes shot open.

“Um, what? Since when?”

“Since we watched Frozen and you fell in love with it. I knew I had to do something with that.”

“Please tell me I’m not supposed to dress up as the snowman.”

I was expecting her to fight against the idea a bit more than this. So far so good.

“No. I figured with your hair you’d be an excellent Anna. You don’t even have to wear a wig, really.”

“Let me guess, you’ll be Elsa?”

“Why else would I have been hand-beading something for two weeks, giving myself carpal tunnel?”

Honestly, I’d been planning on doing matching costumes for a while now, I just hadn’t decided until movie night three months ago. While dressing as sisters wasn’t 100% ideal, I thought including a movie she loved would get her to agree to the plan.

I also got lucky when the dress fit Wanda well- after all, a surprise meant no fittings and adjustments.

“See! You look beautiful in this dress!” I told her as she looked in the mirror.

“You got lucky this time, y/n. I’ll go. Next time I get to pick out the costumes.”

Next time I get to pick out the costumes.

What the hell.

Does that mean we’ll be doing this again?

“Did I mention I may have entered the costume contest in the group division?”

Wanda about spit her breakfast out.

“I have to get up on a stage. Dressed like this. No.”

“What if I told you that I may have roped someone else in too? As Kristoff?”

“Who? I may agree if someone else will humiliate themselves like I am.” She insisted

“First off, you’re not going to humiliate yourself. You have me, I’ve done these before. Never won one yet, but I’ve still been on the stage before.”

“And second, I can’t tell you because there’s still a 50% chance he won’t even show up.”

(Though there was also a miniscule chance he’d be bringing his own someone along in an Olaf costume I sent him a link to a week ago. He made no guarantees though.)

--End--

A/N 3: So have an idea who the implied characters are, but I decided to leave you all as clueless about it as Wanda. Bonus points if you can guess.

[lilithrebellion]

Now pls roast the worst canon partner in otome games ‘cuz i’m sick of seeing how many people ship him with Yui🙏😪

You're going to have to me more specific 😂

No, actually I'm pretty sure you mean Ayato which is my personal most hated and there's a whoooole story here so alright a trip down memory lane, here we go!

So back in 2015 after I first finished the anime I was so mad about it, that I decided it would be a great idea to record myself playing the game with commentary just so I could complain and I dragged my friend @squirrelno2 along with me. (I'm sorry for subjecting you to that)

When we got through the prologue we came to the conclusion (at great pains) that Ayato was the "least worst" out of the three triplets available at the start and that's how we made the route choice.

And oh my god, we could only get to dark....9? I think? Before we were just done and couldn't do it anymore. There were just so many terrible things one after another, but I will NEVER forget this one quote of his that quite literally almost made me throw up once I fully processed it.

....You know what it's too gross, I don't want it on my blog, Just go to this page and scroll to the very bottom, it's his very last line.

https://dialovers-translations.tumblr.com/post/189641461771/diabolik-lovers-grand-edition-for-switch

.....Yeah.

So, the guy pretty much says he can't get off unless it's literal rape. That's who Yui's getting shipped with. Yup.

(sidenote: I'm not kink-shaming consensual non-consent stuff here. That's y'know actually consensual. But it's pretty damn clear that this quote refers to just plain rape.)

And I don't care how many times someone tries to claim "character development" for him because this never changes. Rejet might have quietly toned it down later, but he never stops with the constant casual sexual assault/harassment. I looked up the LE prologue one time to get the premise for planning my adaptation of it and fucking boob grab is literally the first thing he does I scream. (He never stops with the nickname-that-I-will-never-type does he? Yeah. Zero character development.)

I don't think I need to say anymore, honestly.

Actually though, that old playthrough I did is still on Youtube if anyone wants to watch it. 😅

It's old and embarrassing though haha. It was also recorded before I realized I was in love with Yui, but now that I think about it, I can still remember that during that playthrough was the first time I saw those tiny moments where Yui stands up for herself. So anytime that happens, you might notice that I get a bit quiet. So um yeah, watch that to see me slowly fall in love with Yui in real time lol.

[lucky-jiku]

OKAY I’M NOT OKAY.

RoosterTeeth why...

Why did you do this to me?

Spoilers below the cut.

The start of this episode was very expected. I realized that it would have to pick up right where it left off from E13. 

I can’t be the only one who expected Cinder betraying Neo and her lying to Salem, right? Because I already knew that this was going to happen the moment Neo decided to trust her. It’ll be interesting to see what happens to RWBY + Jaune and Neo in the next season.

Also can someone please explain where NORA is? Because the only thing we can assume is that she went through the portal to Vacuo, but I didn’t see her there with Ren, Oscar, and Emerald. Maybe she did and is just somewhere else? idfk I just hope she’s okay.

EDIT: Because I’m stupid... I just re-watched it with my roommates and saw Nora banging on the portal. So she’s good, but definitely might think that Jaune and the others are dead because they didn’t make it through.

BUT ON THE NOTE OF BEING OKAY...

I am horribly wounded at what happened with Penny. I had the feeling she would die because of the death flags that were placed upon her (after her getting her real body and shit like that). 

But having Jaune help her most definitely did not help Jaune. Gods I can only imagine what it’ll be like to tell Ruby that Penny is gone.... I will cry even more. I did actually cry during this episode... something that happens a lot with RWBY so it seems.

Also speaking of deaths, my gods... Vine sacrificing himself tore me apart... and seeing how it tore Harriet apart made it worse. I’m happy that Marrow, Harriet, and Elm survived. But, Vine deserved to live just as much as everyone else... poor man. His sacrifice will not be forgotten.

Also can we assume that Watts is dead too? Based on what happened at the end with him being trapped and not being able to break the glass, he’ll eventually burn to death or suffocate. And even if he is able to find a way out, there’s no telling how long he’d last since Atlas fell. With that being said, can we also assume Ironwood is dead? We didn’t see him escape the falling city and, with the water flooding in, I doubt he had time to get out. He’d likely drown trying.

CRWBY literally was like “you want trauma, we’ll give you trauma” and decided to kill like... 5 characters (Hazel, Penny, Watts, Vine, and Ironwood... am I missing an--- WAIT I forgot Jacques.... oh that’s right nobody cares and everyone is happy he died, right? lolololol)

That sudden realization that we have no clue what happened to Pietro and Maria. Granted, I think most of us assumed the worst and assumed they both perished when Amity fell. But, who knows...? They could have both survived. At least that’s the hope. 

Also, Cinder said something along the lines of “And that’s... checkmate” before she left with Salem. Very much a reference to the opening sequence with Ironwood being on a chess board.

Speaking of the opening, I was wrong in my predictions that the order for the fall would match. It was only slightly off (with Ruby falling before Weiss). But, the post-credits scene with Crescent Rose stuck in the sand(?) is very much a mirror of what we saw in the opening with it stuck in the ground. I wonder what that place is btw. It looks interesting and kinda funky.... I like it but I’m also concerned about it.

Alright.... now that we’ve got my episode thoughts and raging out of the way, lemme get to the shit that made me fucking cry:

- Penny’s death... Obviously I have an attachment to our sweet angel and seeing her suffer like she did this episode made me want to scream. I had my hands over my mouth the entire time because I was so worried and I didn’t want to scream. When she interacted with Winter to give the Maiden powers to her, I burst into tears. Especially with the line that Penny stated: “I’ll be part of you”. That’s a direct reference to what Winter told Penny when she received the powers initially from Fria (if not being a direct re-quote... I can’t remember if it is or isn’t right now).

- Jaune’s reaction to what happened with Penny... Obviously our boy Jaune has been through a shit ton of trauma in the past five volumes. He loved Pyrrha dearly and lost her to Cinder. Now he had to help someone die.... and he saw Penny as a very close friend. Obviously the trauma from having no other choice but to “kill” her is going to weigh heavy on his mind. In fact, he might be the one who has to tell Ruby and that’s going to be even more heartbreaking. Jaune has had some serious character development and I cannot wait to see what is in store for him in V9.

- Winter’s reaction to Weiss falling + how she reacted around her family... Winter has really been a stoic character since we first met her. I was happy to see her finally gain a more “human” side (citing that she said she was the machine/robot this episode) and let her emotions out. Seeing her break after her sister fell caused me to break as well. She and Blake both turned that sadness into rage and determination, but Winter had a better handle on it because she realized what she had to do was important. She probably also thinks that Weiss is dead (since she has no idea what exists down there or if anything at all does exist down there). Adding on to that, when she saw her family (Willow and Whitley + Klein) was heartbreaking. She will have to tell them eventually and when she does, I’m sure Willow will be broken even more.

- Qrow’s reaction... You couldn’t hear what he was saying when he heard something in his earpiece, but you could tell what he was told by his reaction. And just by reading his lips, you could tell he was calling out for Ruby and possibly Yang (it was hard to tell, but I would assume he was saying Yang’s name as the second thing he said). He’s already distraught by Clover’s death last volume. Now he’s saddened by Vine’s sacrifice. And now he’s thinking that both of his nieces have died. The poor man has suffered enough. Please just let him heal, CRWBY. We need him to be happy. :(  

Edit because I forgot this part for a second. Fuck my mind lmao:

- Harriet’s agony and Elm’s pleading when Vine made up his mind.... between Harriet’s agonized screaming and Elm’s basically begging her friend not to sacrifice his life, I had so many emotions. I wanted to cry and I did. I felt so bad for those two. They had to deal with the loss of Clover and now they’ve got to deal with the loss of Vine. It’s heartbreaking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Welp... hiatus time and then onward to V9. Any predictions y’all? I know it’s early, but I feel like now’s a great time to start theorizing and formulating what could possibly be thrown our way... But, as we learned with this volume, CRWBY is willing to throw anything at us... and I mean anything.

[katebeckets]

Lover track by track

SO. I’m currently out of the country and it took me awhile to finish this, but I’m sharing my thoughts for anyone who cares to read it. There’s SO much more to say and I wish it was better written because I like when words are nice and convey exactly what you want to say (I’m doing this all on my phone) but you get the general feel and that’s what’s important, the emotions. Come talk to me if you want!!!!

I tried to put a read more but I’m not sure if I can on mobile? Because mobile is its own special nightmare so I’m soRRY

I Forgot That You Existed | The way this song starts (and the whole thing) reminds me a lot of a Lauv song. Something about it just does. It’s a wonderful start to the album, I think, because it IS her moving on, but it isn’t yet the level of “step into the daylight and let it go.” It’s the first step; it’s realizing that not everyone deserves a place in your life, but closer to Reputation than other songs on the album (like the “so... yeah” which I LOVE but, I think, has a slightly different attitude than she ends with). I love her delivery of different lines in this song; you can hear the freedom in her comments, giggles, and speaking.

Cruel Summer | I saw a post that said fans of “Getaway Car” would like this one and I GET IT now. It’s inexplicably tied to that song in my mind, something about the production and melody and everything, even the ending on the third beat. And I love it. One thing I’ve missed about pre-1989 is her lyrics; not to say any album of hers doesn’t have insanely clever and meaningful lyrics (because they all do), but I think there is just something so incredible about her Speak Now and Red lyrics especially. It’s part of why pop music in general isn’t my main genre. But this early on and I knew Lover was everything I have ever wanted in a pop album. “Taylor Swift” is its own genre, and will always be my favorite genre, but this song just... so perfectly marries her older songwriting with her newer song production. Her voice when she calls him a devil oh my that was god tier I swear—and lines like “devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes” and “in these trying times we’re not trying” are so clever and akdjslsjsk I love Taylor Alison Swift.

Lover | She mentioned that the album was almost called Daylight and even though I might’ve preferred that (lover is still not my favorite word), I’m so happy that “Lover” is the, as she calls it, flagship song. There is a palpable warmth and security in the tone of the song, and you can hear her smile as she sings. She is in love—a real, steadfast, quiet love. A love that isn’t composed of extraordinary moments that her younger self fantasized about in songs, but of little details and daily routines and the way love’s presence pervades every aspect of life.

The Man | Ugh she IS a fearless leader, she IS the alpha type—to write a song with as much BDE as this you have to be. She is the shit and she knows it, and I love the lyrics and vocabulary of the song! Like how she talks about being able to separate behavior from ideas and accomplishments or actions from character—it’s such a difficult thing to really work into a song as seamlessly as she does. Also, THE BRIDGE. Holy moly. I think it’s one of my favorite bridges on the album. I had no idea how badly I needed to hear her say “bitch” like this. I love her.

The Archer | I SEE RIGHT THROUGH ME! I SEE RIGHT THROUGH ME!!!! Also, the transition into “you could stay...” is just so beautiful. And I think it’s such an interesting choice that she doesn’t end it there, that she goes back to combat. It echoes what she says in “I Forgot That You Existed,” that she would’ve fought the whole town for them. She’s opening herself up to someone new and asking them to stay, but saying that if they do, she’s ready to fight for this love.

I Think He Knows | “Boy, I understand.” That’s it that’s the whole tweet. (Not). But also the snaps and “we can follow the sparks, I’ll drive” is just ?!?!!! Mind blowing. She’s incredible.

Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince | Okay... this was the most unexpected love for me, even though I know titles don’t mean anything, I was so surprised how much I love this one. I love the “okay!” and the way she yells different words, it really echoes the sounds of a high school sports game and that’s just so smart because that’s the theme of this song. I don’t know it’s just SO GOOD. And there are some really heartbreaking lyrics (“you are the only one who seems to care,” “no cameras catch my pageant smile/muffled cries”) where you just get this sense of loneliness and fear and in its own way it reminds me of “Safe and Sound,” when she says “don’t you dare look out your window.” The five of this song feels like her holding her lover’s hand and running behind him with their heads down through the storm of a high school hallways—“now the storm is coming but it’s you and me, that’s my whole world.”

Paper Rings | For whatever reason, this song gives me major “The Middle” vibes. I saw someone say that it’s “‘Stay Stay Stay’ 2.0” and it makes it even more adorable because then she was daydreaming about real love again... and now she’s here. The prechorus is everything, so much of this album has left me incoherent with its sheer perfection and genius honestly it’s so hard to comprehend... her MIND. It’s so cute I hate I can’t believe I literally could cry and also there’s one part where she says “I’m with YOU!” and it made me think she’s saying “YOU!” in the way she says “ME!” with that pure celebration and joy and loving him because he’s the only one of him, too. I’m with YOU like ME also that sigh and how she says she wants ALL of it, the complications and dreary Mondays and to have him in ALL her dreams, good, bad, and in-between. Just like she wants his midnights... she wants all the midnight moments, the celebrations, the magic... but ALSO wants to be around for absolutely everything, cleaning up bottles on New Year’s Day. The everyday, quiet moments of companionship.

Cornelia Street | Oh... this one is surprisingly hard for me to listen to. When I first heard “Lover,” I brought up this Brené Brown quote about rehearsing tragedy—she talks about how joy is the most vulnerable emotion we experience. It’s so hard to immerse ourselves in joy because of how fragile it feels (she says it more eloquently), and that’s where this song hits for me. “Lover” is her being able to experience joy and contentment and let go of the need to prepare for the worst while “Cornelia Street” references the pull to dress rehearse tragedy. The song captures the risk of opening up to happiness, love, joy, any good feeling... because how could you survive if you lose that? Isn’t it better if you never feel so deeply and don’t have to worry about what’ll happen if you lose it? And she talks about that fear, about not wanting to open up and risk being hurt or made a fool of when she says she left Cornelia Street... but then he showed his hand (don’t even get me started on that line oh my heart). That song walks that delicate line of not dress rehearsing tragedy, but really conveying the vulnerability in finding any kind of love. And I love that she ties it to a street, to this concrete place that is nothing spectacular but for her is associated with her most cherished memories. Because that’s the other thing about love and loss—it’s not only extraordinary moments that matter. Love touches every part of your life.

Death by a Thousand Cuts | What a METAPHOR. Like holy shit. “Flashbacks waking me up,” “looking through the windows,” “can’t pretend it’s okay when it’s not.” It’s death by a thousand cuts. It’s prolonged and painful and persistent. It lingers. Ugh her MIND is just so brilliant and I feel so lucky that I happen to be alive at the same time as her? Like how wild is that???? “Paper cut stings from my paper thin plans” is so clever?? The way she says “lawless” is so good???? And the LONELINESS of asking a traffic light if it will be alright... of hoping for a sign, any kind of sign. And rather than saying she found comfort or affirmation, she says their answer was “I don’t know.” The courage and loneliness and fear and heartbreak of living with that uncertainty... this is So Much™

London Boy | This song is so Pure 🥺 Like... that’s it that’s the song it’s so fucking cute and simple and sweet, using all these London terms... it is Soft and Pure there is no other way to describe this song.

Soon You’ll Get Better | I knew as soon as I heard about this song that it would be one of my favorites because it’s just who I am... but this song is so beautiful and reminds me of her older work because of how simple the production is. I think a lot of why I love this song is the same as why I love “You Learn to Live Without” and my analysis would be similar—the chorus is so simple and repetitive because she’s repeating it to herself, to her family, to anyone. “You’ll get better soon... because you have to.” It’s like telling someone, promising them, that it’ll be okay; you can’t know, you can’t ever know. But sometimes you say it because you have to. Because there’s no other option. In “You Learn to Live Without,” it’s a similar situation... almost every line starts with what “you learn” how to do. It’s repetitive and she relies on that when she falters. It feels like there’s no way to survive such a devastating loss, but you learn, because you have to. There’s no other option. The song is so simple and the lyrics are everything that makes Taylor Swift music so special. Personal, specific, and yet relatable in, even because of, its specificity. You can hear her shaky breaths, which is always devastating. The bridge took my breath away because I’ve expressed those exact feelings before, and it hurts my heart that she’s felt it but it also is why I love her so much, because it connects so deeply.

False God | Going from “Soon You’ll Get Better” to this is a LOT (to be fair, anything would be) but it also reminds me of desperation and makes sense in that way—how you turn to anything at all, even a false god, if it will help you make it through. And that line about daring him to leave her... what a mood. But also bless Joe Alwyn. Also we neED TO TALK ABOUT THE FLAWLESS TRANSITION INTO YNTCD THAT WAS SO SATISFYING HER M I N D.

You Need to Calm Down | The “oh-oh” totally gets to me because when she was about 12-14 months, my focal child used to go “uh-oh” in almost the exact same way, so I always hear it in her voice. I love these lyrics because they’re just... so fun?? To shout???? And SHADE NEVER MADE ANYBODY LESS GAY SO

Afterglow | I had no idea what to expect from this song, but I love it. The connection she makes about fighting because there’s “chemistry until it blows” is so good because then you can really picture and understand what she means when she says “meet me in the afterglow.” It’s the quiet after the storm, when things are calm and hazy and you can take a step back and reflect. You can truly listen. And if you stay, like she asks him to, you can survive it. You may even have a stronger relationship because of it. And she wrote this song about taking responsibility and the messy parts of a relationship and how hard it is when you hurt someone you love and it’s just so beautiful that she allows us into this process, all the messy and flawed lessons in learning how to heal and forgive and love.

ME! | I’m so proud of her for reaching this point because it’s true, she’s the only one of her. There will never be another Taylor Swift... her incredible ability to write songs, to make music, to connect, her generosity, her love, everything about her... she is SO special.

It’s Nice to Have a Friend | I’m going to give this one a little more time because I love the idea of the song, the lyrics, the simplicity, but I need more time to really decide how I feel.

Daylight | This song makes me so emotional in the way I always get when I listen to “Call It What You Want” and hear how happy she is, she’s doing better than she ever was... she’s so happy and I love her so much and this is all I wanted for her agh but also this song, what a beautiful song. “I’ll tell you the truth but never goodbye” is just... unconditional love. I’m in love with the way she sings “daylight,” it echoes the entire song. Something about it is just lighter, louder in a soft, airy, ethereal way. It gets lighter, like you can hear it take on the quality of daylight. There’s so many things calling it back to old songs, too. I kept thinking about “this love is glowing in the dark” because this song is about how love, true love, is golden like daylight. It glows. And how she’s been sleeping in the darkest, longest night, but now all she sees is daylight. This love glows in the dark and glows so bright that it overcomes it. And then she so explicitly calls back to “Red” and how she used to think love would be burning red, but she’s realized instead that it’s golden. Red love is so fiery and passionate in all its emotions, and the idea of something being fiery means that it could, occasionally, be golden, when it’s glowing bright. But that’s an intense golden... this golden is soft. Ethereal is the best word I have for it. She sings of golden daylight, and this song is that—daylight. It’s true gold; it isn’t burning red because it’s softer. It’s warmth, not heat. It’s contentment, it’s quiet, it’s safety, it’s trust, it’s reconciliation. It’s illuminating, but not blinding. I just... this song is bursting with warmth and softness and light and I can’t get over it or put it into better words.

tl;dr I love Taylor Swift with my whole heart and Lover is simply incredible and, quite frankly, THAT bitch. 💘💕✨

[neosaysno]

FantineAquane (Danganronpa)

So I decided to come back to this blog after a year, and I took on a new character. Meet FantineAquane, the SHSL Secret.

...

I’m already scared.

(CONTENT WARNING: Mentions of pedophilia and noncon. Seriously.)

Warning! Because of the nature of this fandom, I will be going into spoiler territory.

Name:FantineAquane Gender: DOB:13 October Blood typeO+ Height:1.78 meter Weight:55 kg

Okay, let’s unpack this, because there’s a good bit here. And we already have problems.

... FantineAquane is NOT a name. That looks like a username of some kind, and when I googled FantineAquane, I discovered that it was indeed used as a username! I also managed to track down the creator, but I’m not really going to bother...

Why is the Gender thing blank? Even if you’re nonbinary, agender, whatever, that would be listed. However, the rest of the profile uses “she/her” pronouns and calls her a “girl”, so I’m going to go ahead with calling Fantine a girl for the rest of this.

No issues with the birthday, but she’s slightly underweight, which is an unfortunately common thing in OCs. Thankfully it’s not too egregious (Less than ten pounds underweight).

FantineAquane is tall-slim girl.She has long straight-wavy purple-black acid type haired.She weared purple short jacket with a long sleeves,old white worned brassier and worn daisy dukes.She has big blue-bright cerulean eyes with long eyelashes.She has a faded scars inside her jacket.

That grammar... Ughhh. It’s not /that/ bad, but it clearly tells me the writer isn’t a native English speaker. Or if they are, they’re flat out terrible at it.

Pray for me while I decipher this. It feels like I’m solving a worse Metheus puzzle.

Tall and slim... Okay, she’s about 5′8, so she’s actually decently tall for a... wait, how old is she?!

This is an actual problem. We don’t even have a listed age range. This is a problem for a Danganronpa OC! Even the DR1 students at least had age ranges, from sixteen at the youngest, presumably. (Well, they were a year or two older because of the lost memories, but that’s not too much to bring up.) What IS the problem is that we have no listed age. Yes, I am nitpicking that.

And “acid”... I’m gonna assume that’s neon hair. I am not going to provide a visual reference because that would mean your eyes will hurt.

That’s not even that appropriate! We don’t see Danganronpa students walking around with neon hair! Ibuki and Souda are the only people who remotely fit that, and their hair is toned down enough to not be painful to the eyes. Our solace here is that the art doesn’t hurt to look at.

And why is she only wearing a jacket over her bra?! Where’s her shirt?! Even Aoi had a shirt! While yes, girl power and all, that’s just flat out inappropriate! I’m assuming this is JUST killing game garb, but I sure as hell hope Fantine wears the uniform during school years! Most, if not all schools would take disciplinary action if you walked in wearing that kind of outfit!

(Note, Angie technically is wearing a swimsuit, so I’m not going to bring that up, but the clothing description confirms that this is a full out bra that Fantine has, not a bikini top.)

No comment on the eyes, but the scars (or... scar? See, this is why you need to have decent grammar) don’t seem to be brought up elsewhere, so -1 point.

FantineAquane is a kind,curious,sociable,clueless,funny,sensitive girl.But instead she’s the revengeable and up raged girl as someone who insulted her as a prostitude and insulting her friends.She kinda bitchy as she loves the lust and sexual things.But it doesn’t mean she’s an idiot and prideless person.She wants to be a hopeful person who saves the suvivors from death.She can knows someone secret only a sight.

AUGH. This is pure word vomit. Gibberish. Nonsense. Whatever you want to call it. What the shiny mystical hell am I looking at?! None of these line up! This is complete nonsense! It’s like the creator just slapped all these personality things on without thinking about how they work together, or in this case, don’t!

And... “ She can knows someone secret only a sight. “

Oh god... is she a mind reader? PLEASE do not be a mind reader. I’m now actually scared to read through this more...

Super High School Level Secret

Super High School Level Hope (Her dream to protect the innocents)

Super High School Level Tackler

Super High School Level Fate

I should have known better than to wish for things. I have no goddamn words for this. This is in no way feasibly possible. I’m almost tempted to give up right here.

WHY is she the SHSL Hope?! Nothing we’ve seen here shows that she is a candidate! What the hell is Tackler? Secret? Fate?! These talents are an absolute disaster.

♢ Possible Execution ::

Gangbang Or Reveal Her Secret Until Death(Insane Diary)

I AM VERY TERRIFIED RIGHT NOW WHAT THE FUCK. DEATH BY GANGBANG?! SERIOUSLY?! WHY?!

Get me. The hell. Out of here. Insane Diary-whatever, how does that kill her? How does any of this work? I’m not talking about this further, I need to get out of this so I can get through the rest of this. This is the worst execution concept I have EVER seen.

FantineAquane was an orphan since she was a baby.In her surrounding,she become one of the insulted person in the homeless city.She been pedofilia with some citizens as her attraction makes all the men want to sex with her.All the fate has been changed as one city was ruined and rule by Super High School Level Despair.As she know the person who ruined all people lives,she attend the Hope Peak’s Private Academy as she wanna to prove that insulted person can help this city and ruined or realise all the Super High School Level Despair’s members.Without any letter that she needs to be that school student,she makes a bargain with Monokuma as she need to save the world with HOPE or die in DESPAIR.

WHAT THE HELLLLL

THIS IS JUST AIFURYEIULKEYHRLIUHE NOOOOO

I... I have no words. This so. BLATANTLY. Defiles canon that I feel like this person tried to rip Danganronpa off to make their own story.

And what the shit? I’m sorry, but this girl is not that attractive. Not nearly enough for “all the men” to want “to sex with her”. What the hell. This backstory is a mess. How can she attend Hope’s Peak without an invitation? HOW IS SHE STILL ALIVE IN THE POST-DESPAIR WORLD?! How is she not batshit insane?! Most people like her would be dead or have already fallen to despair by the time the first game takes place! And how-- How did Monokuma not let her in without wiping her memories first? What the hell is this?! Why is she trying to be the protagonist?! At least it potentially explains her horrendous choice of clothing...

I’m not even going to talk about this more. This is just a disaster and makes me want to get through this even further so I can scrub this OC from my brain.

♢ Likes :

Sex,electronic items,helping people,socials,solving clues,willing to friends someone,Yaoi

SELF INSERT SPOTTED, SELF INSERT SPOTTED!

No, seriously, whenever an OC has ‘yaoi’ in their likes, I default to Self Insert. And the creator legitimately put THIS in their profile. “Pro in Doujinshi,Hentai & Yaoi“ So... Fantine over here is a self insert on top of all of this.

Back to the actual review... yeah, if she was forced into prostitution, I have a feeling she wouldn’t actually like sex all that much, especially if she’d been forced into it from a young age. I don’t have much comment on the rest, as FINALLY something lines up with the rest of her.

♢ Dislikes ::

Being insulted,Having sex without taking permission to her,Being advice about her clothes,up of rage,her secret has been revealled

Welp, we’re back to impossible grammar. Semi-readable was good while it lasted, I suppose. The hell does “up of rage” mean?

Also, nonconsensual sex being in the dislikes makes sense, but... why not just bring normal sex over too? And what’s her “secret”? That she used to be a prostitute?

Aaand she doesn’t like criticism on her clothes. Lady, you’re wearing something that would get you kicked out of half the places I can name.

♢ Friends ::

Best friend:Nagito Komaeda,Aoi Asahina,Alter Ego,Leon Kuwata,Makoto Naegi,Sakura Oogami,

GODDAMMIT SHE’S A SEVENTEENTH STUDENT. AND HAS PROTAGONIST SYNDROME. Also, why is Nagito top of the list? He joined SHSL Despair. And she’s supposedly fighting despair. God damn, Fantine.

And I’m pretty sure NONE of these people would want to be around her, except maybe Makoto because he’s a nice person and would feel bad for her.

Friends:Souda Kazuichi,Gundam Tanaka,Hagakure Yasuhiro,Hifumi Yamada

Why is she friends with Hifumi? Oh, right, she’s a fujoshi. And I don’t think any of THESE people would want to be around her either. Ewwww.

Crush On:Chihiro Fujisaki,Alter Ego,

God damn. I think this chick would scare Chihiro more than she’d actually be a potential romantic partner. She’s like Chihiro’s total opposite, and no, opposites attract isn’t a thing here.

And is she using Alter Ego as a substitute after Chihiro dies? Not exactly unexpected...

Enemies:Monokuma,Junko Enoshima

Boriiiiiiiing. Generic good guy stuff. Because of course the bootleg SHSL Hope hates Despair. I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt-- Wait, how would she know Junko was behind this? Did she somehow manage to not get herself murdered or executed? Ugh.

♢ Quotes ::

“Don’t judge the book by it’s cover”

“You have to kidding me?”

“Although all of you loves to insulting me,it doesn’t mean I been insulted.But you all gimme a great support”

“Don’t kill all these innocence suvivors except me!”

“You’re got it wrong”

“Monokuma,I challenge you for a fight between HOPE & DESPAIR”

“Although they’re diffent in executions or death,their hope is to kill and put you all in the hell!”

“Although I’m atheast,it doesn’t means I disrespect all others religions,especially Islam”

That grammar is back! How do you mess up the iconic quote?! How has she challenged Monokuma like that without dying?! How can she handle others insulting her like that even though she clearly dislikes it? What the hell is going on here? Well... She’s got a poor judge of character, because she’s saying all the killers’ intentions was to damn everyone else. Nope. Not true.

And that last quote seems a little out of place. I’m gonna assume it connects to the creator in some way.

-

Final Verdict

Unsalvageable.

I’m (not) sorry to say this, but FantineAquane, the SHSL Secret, is UNSALVAGEABLE. There’s just too much wrong with her to be considered remotely salvageable, and it’s better off to just scrap her and start from the beginning. This OC was a disaster from beginning to end.

[zoocross0vers]

Plea to the Zootopia/WildeHopps Community: (Borba)

I really, REALLY hate to bring any attention to this but I just really feel like I have to. For those of you who know and for those of you who don’t know a certain comic made by the person on the title of this post, has finally ended. But...This particular person has not surprisingly announced a third comic. One that I believe may be titled, “Never Say Die” (At least I think that’s what it is, I don’t remember, nor do I care to correct it if I’m wrong).

Anyway my point to this is really to reach out to those of you out there that still have plans to read it, share it, and have hope that Borbleh may actually decide to have a happy WildeHopps ending to it. 

Everyone is free to do as they wish of course, but I do ask everyone to at least please hear me out. Please don’t share or even give any further attention to that comic series, or Borba even. He is not going to change his mind. If you still believe that he is a WildeHopps shipper...he’s not. He probably was at some point, but the minute he made that first comic and received hate and practically banishment from this community, he stopped being for the ship. I say this as a REAL WildeHopps shipper. I and I know many of you, if not most of you as WildeHopps shippers, wouldn’t ever think of making a comic like this. Much less a follow up to it like the one he made. My main reason personally is because when I love something I’m actually faithful to it and I wouldn’t butcher it for likes, views, or scandalous attention. 

Just because he releases “WildeHopps” art every once in a while, like that Breakfast at Tiffany’s one that was circling sometime late last year, that isn’t reason enough to have hope for this new comic that will come out. He does this as bait so people think that he’s going to change his mind and give everyone the “beautiful WildeHopps” ending that we’re all hoping for. You know, because deep down he’s really a “WildeHopps” shipper. Nope.

If you’re asking how I know this? It’s obvious, didn’t anyone notice that in his journal entry on Deviantart prior to “Born to be Borbleh” (sorry, but I don’t care to give dignity to these titles) he never once displayed any sort of regret, remorse, or even understanding toward the community regarding the negative impact the comic had? He never once said: “I’m sorry”, “I apologize for upsetting some of you��, “I understand why some of you were upset”, etc. He never once showed any sort of concern for anyone but himself. Also, what kind of “WildeHopps” shipper ends their comic (where Nick and Judy don’t end up together) with “I just love happy endings!” (He’s really subtle about throwing it in everyone’s faces isn’t he?)

This is revenge people. Don’t be fooled by this guy. The third comic is going to be worse if this second one is anything to go by. I can very easily make a wild guess that it’ll probably be July (I know I spelled that wrong. I’m not referring to that heartless abomination he made as Judy, because that’s NOT Judy) and her girlfriend wanting to get pregnant by getting sperm from a sperm bank (you know, because she’s her actual “true love” and not Nick. Again, a “WildeHopps” shipper wrote this, is it obvious? smh) and then maybe there’s complications and then July’s going to have a hollow enough heart to say “Never say die” to that kid’s survival. You know, like the way she didn’t have any care or concern for Mick’s (you know who I’m referring to here) kid. And then Mick’s going to commit suicide while all this is going on or suddenly have a new sexual appetite as well. Really the third one will be any other thing you can think of that’ll butcher them or tear them apart even more so than they already are.

But anyway getting back to my point, I can give several reasons why this is actually a revenge ploy on Borba’s part. 1) he made the first comic and people hated him for it. 2) he was barraged with dozens of comments to make a second comic to correct things between July and Mick. 3) It was discovered that he had made some unsavory art work depicting lesbian women in a negative light. Put that all together and what did he do??? He gave us exactly what we “wanted”. He gave us a second comic, where he had a lesbian couple have a ”happy” ending, meanwhile “correcting” things between Mick and July by having them drift apart even further rather than having them come back closer as we actually wanted. See the pattern here? He just went opposite of everything his fan base wanted. We wanted Mick and July to get back together, did it happen? Nope. We wanted July to keep the baby, did she? Nope. That kid’s dead, buried, and forgotten like day old garbage. 

He’s mocking everyone. Whatever you ask for, he’s going to do the opposite just to spite you. But first he’s going to fill you with false hope with a “WildeHopps” drawing. Is this really someone who’s work you want to support? Just because it looks nicely drawn? Is curiosity really worth more than your dignity?

This man is a sociopath that borders on a psycopathic mentality. I’m not even joking or trolling with this statement. I’m honestly concerned that we’ve accidentally stumbled upon an artist with psycopathic tendencies. I honestly don’t know of any other type of person who gains so much joy out of people’s misery, which is exactly what he does. He’s patient, conceited, manipulative (as is evident with his bait art work depicting good WildeHopps art), deceitful, calculative, vengeful, and toys with people’s emotions. If this doesn’t sound like a sociopath bordering on psychopath then I don’t know what does. Don’t quote me on this, because I don’t know the man, but this side of his that he has revealed to people more recently is very concerning. 

Anyway, this comic made me feel sick and I personally want to know absolutely nothing of his ongoing series nor about him. Despite my better judgement, I did see where he went with his 2nd comic (even though all the red flags were there) and I was not wrong. He’s completely butchered Nick and Judy’s loving natures and names. And I refuse to give any more chances to someone who is sick enough in the head to take great joy in harming others, even if it is over a silly kid’s movie or comic. 

As I said before, I can’t control what you see and don’t see. If you want to see it, then so be it. But I do ask you to please not share it. Don’t give him attention, because in that sense he’s winning, because he’s getting the best of you and this community. This is not how you deal with a bully because giving them attention just fuels them even more. And honestly, at the point this comic is at: Do any of you really care anymore if July and Mick get back together? I’m a WildeHopps shipper through and through (hell, I’m a purist, meaning I don’t share anything where they’re with someone else), but this is actually the first bit of work where I could care less what happens to them. They could fall into a vortex or die a horrible death in the comic for all I care. Because they are completely unforgivable and just so out of character that it really feels like it’s not even Nick and Judy I’m looking at anymore. This is a toxic relationship being depicted by two characters who would NEVER be toxic to one another given the actual source material. In real life, July is the type of person no one would ever want to be with. 

More so because she’s written by a guy who clearly has no idea what love is. He took what was beautiful about Nick and Judy’s relationship, which is that Judy is the light in Nick’s otherwise dark past. She saved him from his own personal demons, she gave him a reason to fight and believe in himself. And he in turn proved to be the first person to ever believe in her and give her the support and faith in her dreams that no one, not even her parents ever gave her. And what did Borbleh do? He took it and made this wonderful bunny character as Mick’s worst nightmare that single handedly broke down everything the real Judy worked so hard to build. So forgive my foul language but: FUCK BORBA!

(Oh, and if you’re one of those people that are like: “yeah but July’s girlfriend supports her and her choices, cuz strong woman power!” Spare me that crap. I’m a woman and a career girl, but I am not betraying my maternal instincts for a job and this bad sort of feminism. Real Feminism is about equality, not throwing male characters down and stepping on them and falsely believing that this is empowering. A man who supports you and wants to be a father is a God sent. And again, Nick supports Judy’s desire to work and Judy cares about others more than her job. I refer you to the movie when Nick stands up to chief Bogo and when Judy GAVE UP HER CAREER for Nick. Sha-sha (the vixen) is just a controversial tool in this comic to start another controversy. The only thing that vixen supports more than Mick in this comic is that she’s submissive enough to put up with July’s heartless overbearing and dominating attitude.)

After this post, I don’t care how nice his art looks, I don’t care how “cute” a singular “WildeHopps” piece of his looks, I don’t care what horrible thing he does in the third comic, I don’t want to hear about it, see it or share it. Because Borba and his work were “Born to be Dead” if this is how he’s going to go about with continuing his work.  

PS. Sorry for the rant, but I’m serious. Please boycott his comic. It won’t be worth it. You’ll be holding on to a non-existing hope if you still want to give him a chance. Save yourself (and the rest of us) the depression and blues, because I guarantee that’s all you’ll get from him and that comic series. By the way, sorry if I said anything controversial to some, but yeah, I’m pissed. 

P.S.S. Why do we even give this comic so much attention? Let’s give this kind of attention (but positively of course) to the comics that deserve the attention and praise, like Sunderance, Savage Company, The Mark, and every other comic by true WildeHopps artists. Yeah, I know they have great attention already, but let’s give them more, because they remember why we’re all here for. For these two lovable characters:

[michelles-garden-of-evil]

Episode 16 Review: Jean Paul’s Latest Detained Guest

{ YouTube: 1 | 2 }

{ Synopses: Debby Graham | Bryan Gruszka }

{ Screencaps }

I wasn’t going to start working on another review until next week at the earliest, but I have been re-watching the Agatha episodes from Desmond Hall and, oh my Great Serpent, are they terrible! I don’t wish to spoil too much of what happens then because those reviews are a long way in the future, but I will say that (1) I can’t stand Agatha Pruitt and (2) while some episodes of Desmond Hall Part I have decent writing, in others the writing is very, very, very bad. I can’t help but feel sorry for the fans of both this show and Dark Shadows in early 1970, because Agatha would have been swanning around Desmondton getting on everyone’s nerves during the same period as one of the least-loved arcs on DS, the Leviathan arc.*

Normally, I would type out my complaints about Desmond Hall in the OneNote notebook where I take screencaps and save them for when I write those episode reviews in a year or two. However, I felt that I had to mention the awfulness of Episode 91 in this post, because that is what compelled me to return from my hiatus early. I needed to remind myself why I like this show enough to dedicate a whole blog to it, and so I took a (metaphorical) trip back to Maljardin to re-watch and review Episode 16.

Our mascot!

On the last episode, Jean Paul hired Reverend Matt Dawson to conduct a funeral service for his wife Erica, still frozen in the cryonics capsule  and awaiting her resurrection by THE DEVIL JACQUES ELOI DES MONDES. Now Jean Paul--who has changed into a very nice pinstripe suit--is showing Matt the crypt at Maljardin where the capsule is located. “Even with the electrical connections, the compressor and cryonics capsule, I think this probably will be the best place for the service,” he says to the horrified minister. “Don’t you think, Reverend Dawson?” All Matt can do is smile and nod in response while privately questioning the life choices that led to this moment.

He’s probably thinking, “I left my ministry to stalk a 20-year-old full-time for this?!”

Jean Paul continues interviewing him. “You have no objection to a service without a burial?”

“No,” Matt shakes his head. “I have officiated at many such services, where the body is usually placed in the family crypt.” Considering that the vast majority of families don’t have family crypts--at least not in their basements--I think that he’s humoring Jean Paul. After all, he’s seen so many red flags already--the isolated island, the extreme secrecy, Jean Paul’s reluctance to tell anyone about Erica’s death, the whole cryonics/resurrection thing itself, and now his insistence on conducting the funeral service around a cryonics capsule.

He questions the idea that a body held in cryonic suspension can be brought back to life, and Jean Paul continues to deny that Erica is forever dead. He also continues to insist that the usual laws of nature don’t apply on Maljardin, and that on that island he is God:

Yes, Reverend Dawson, your new client thinks he’s God. There’s another red flag for you, Matt, that Jean Paul Desmond is not a client that you want to work for and you should probably cancel the agreement, give up on Holly, and try to get off the island while you still can.

Jean Paul tells him of a man who was allegedly brought back to life after dying in a blizzard, and who lived three decades as “a soulless corpse, like a zombie” before dying again. After saying “zombie,” the camera cuts to Quito who is spying on them, confirming that Quito is indeed a zombie--although, considering that Quito has emotions (which he expresses through body language) and pets whom he clearly loves, the “soulless” part is unlikely.

Did he offend Quito when he called zombies “soulless corpses,” I wonder?

It’s at this point that handsome devil Jacques takes over and starts trolling Matt. “You are a theologian trapped by your own logic and teachings,” he remarks with a mocking smile. “When you run out of answers, look to the fire god. He’s got some new ones, new for even you.” Which goes over about as well as proselytization usually does: that is to say, not at all, especially without one of those poorly-written smiley-face tracts that are absurdly popular with Christian fundamentalists. But Jacques, unfortunately, is straight out of copies of SMILE THE FIRE GOD LOVES YOU and so has to resort to confusing Matt (and us) with non sequiturs instead:

Jacques: “I don’t advocate or procrastinate.” (That has to be a line flub.) “I live and let live.”

I’m surprised he didn’t bring up the age-old theological question about how many angels can fit on the head of a pin and awkwardly try to connect that to the situation as well.

Matt storms out and Jacques stays behind to gloat. “I haven’t had so much fun,” he quips, “since one of my colleagues fiddled while Rome burned.” This reference to the Roman emperor Nero is without a doubt the clearest evidence so far that Jacques is indeed supposed to be the Devil, who at some point came to occupy the body of Jean Paul’s ancestor.

Back in the great hall, Matt returns to stalking Holly, who once again rejects him, because stalking only leads to mutual love and committed relationships in bad romance movies. He insists that he has something important to say to her, and she agrees to listen, but only for five minutes. He insists that Elizabeth doesn’t like him and that he followed her to Maljardin because he “thought [she] might need [him] for protection, guidance, maybe even comfort.”

According to StrangeParadise.net, this is an allusion to a real person, Reverend Harold Davidson, described in more detail on this page. I won’t copy Davidson’s bio on here because of its length, so I’ll just quote Holly by calling him a “lecherous minister.”

She rejects him, he leaves with his proverbial tail between his legs, then she proceeds to mope while sprawled in Jean Paul’s favorite chair for arguing with Jacques. Alison finds her there and asks what’s wrong, so she starts to explain before Matt arrives again and interrupts by insisting that he’s not trying to keep her from her inheritance like she claims. He’s right, but that doesn’t change the fact that Elizabeth is using him to do just that. Now it’s Holly’s turn to flounce, and she does it with more gusto than Reverend Stalker.

He talks to Alison, who fills him in on the whole situation, speaking again about how Jean Paul thinks he’s God and also about how Matt is now a prisoner on Maljardin.

Alison explaining the concept of a detained guest to Matt.

Matt suggests that Alison get Raxl to try to reason with Jean Paul, unaware of how well that didn’t work out a week before, He insists, though, that “perhaps these Tarot cards [that Vangie gave him in Episode 14] will sway her.” Although Alison is skeptical and so is Raxl upon her arrival, that all changes when he gives her the pack of cards and tells her that Vangie said “that [she] should use them for everyone’s good.”

She knows instantly that Vangie has predicted that Maljardin is doomed.

An interesting conversation between the two follows. Matt reveals to her that she should contact Vangie at “the third hour” (3 AM, also known as the “witching hour” or “demonic hour”), which means nothing to him but “everything” to her. She recaps for him about Jacques Eloi des Mondes, the conjure doll, and the silver pin, mentioning that “the power of the Great Serpent made him an eternal prisoner” for three hundred years.

Raxl: “Jacques Eloi Des Mondes! It must be he who walks. It must be!"   Matt: "Impossible!" Raxl: "You believe in God, but what about His work?” [I think this is a line flub for “word,” which would make more sense in context.] “I trust the Tarot cards, but what about the words of the woman who reads them?" Matt: "I'm a messenger, not a convert." Raxl: "One conjure doll, one silver pin. If that pin were still driven into that doll's head, we would all be safe."   Matt: "Raxl, that is witchcraft!" [And reading Tarot cards--a form of divination--isn’t?] Raxl: "Do you feel safe, Reverend?"

He gazes at the portrait of Jacques without another word until Jean Paul returns, explaining that he had to apologize to Quito after inadvertently hurting his feelings earlier, most likely with what he said about zombies. He asks Matt if he’s started preparing a speech for the funeral service, and an argument erupts between the two of them:

Did I mention yet that Jean Paul is more than a bit of a control freak?

Jean Paul decides that maybe Jacques had the right idea as far as the detained-guest thing went, and so puts the island on lockdown: “There will be no further trips to the main island and no trips even for mail until a matter between the Reverend and his conscience is resolved.”

Jean Paul is a male example of what is known in certain fandoms as a yandere, or a character who is madly in love, enough to hurt and even kill anyone who they believe is standing between them and their love interest.

Meanwhile in the basement, Raxl performs a ritual to contact the Conjure Man using Vangie’s Tarot cards while Quito enters the Not-So-Hidden Temple. And with that, the episode ends.

Raxl and the Tarot cards.

This was an interesting episode, with Matt as the central character for a change. The major theme of this episode seems to be belief, and how, whether seen through the lens of science (Alison), Christianity (Matt), or voodoo (Raxl), Jean Paul’s plans to revive Erica appear crazy at best and dangerous and/or sacrilegious at worst. There’s also the suggestion that Erica might return as a zombie, which does not seem to bother Jean Paul as much as it should (make of that what you will). Did it make up for the badness of Episode 91? Yes. It’s genuinely a good episode, even though some of the lines don’t make sense--but I think that at least most of those are line flubs.

Coming up next: Raxl sends a message to the Conjure Man, so Jacques decides to interfere. Also, Jacques’ portrait becomes much stranger.

Notes

* I don’t know the exact original airdates for most episodes of Strange Paradise. Maljardin aired from October 20, 1969 to January 19, 1970 in Canada according to StrangeParadise.net, but the show premiered in the United States on September 8, making the US six weeks or 30 episodes ahead of Canada. The YouTube user retronewfoundland has the endings of several episodes on their channel with the original Canadian airdates. The nearest episode to Episode 91 that retronewfoundland has a clip from is Episode 84, with the airdate of February 17, 1970 (a Tuesday). This means that (according to my calculations) Episode 91 would have most likely aired in Canada on February 26, and in the US six weeks earlier on January 15. Either date places it contemporary with the Leviathan arc, which lasted from November 14, 1969 to March 27, 1970 (source).

{ <-- Previous: Episode 15   ||   Next: Episode 17 --> }

[just-another-winchester]

Daydreaming

An Endless Maiden voyage

Chapter Four

Pairing: Dean x y/n

Word Count: 2358

Summary: During a fight with a djinn you get sent into your dreams. Soon finding out Dean and Sam are stuck in your dream as well you have to find a way out of your dream before it becomes your worst nightmare.

Warnings: Angst, violence, death

And more thanks to @amanda-teaches for being my beta <3

The night leading to the 13th was peaceful. Most of the passengers had gone off to bed, a few of them stayed up through the night, played cards or chattered amongst themselves. You found you were perfectly happy to sit at the end of the grand staircase and watch people walk about.

Your mind was focused on the sky outside, how dark it was, how cold it would become, how blackness would be the last thing so many people aboard would see. It twisted your heart, and part of you wondered if perhaps this really was a dream, as you might have a chance to keep it from happening.

However, it was as simple as the fact that you knew it was all in your mind. You couldn’t stop the Titanic from sinking, nor would you want to. You learned better after that nasty bit with Balthazar and the Fate.

Saving these 1500 people would upset everything, and, as much as you hated it, as much as you ached to stop it and give the children who would die a life, to allow the women to continue raising their children with their husbands, or go on to do who knows what else, to give many of the brave men just a few more happy years, whatever may come.

But it couldn’t be, even if the Titanic could be saved, it shouldn’t be. This, for better or worse, was a tragedy cemented in history by the loss of not just 1500 people, but also the lives that were changed when those 1500 passed.

They aren’t a number. You scolded yourself.

You had a habit of referring to the dead by the great mass of death, but just because there were 1500, doesn’t mean they were just 1500. Just because they died together didn’t mean they should be any less than they were, each individual person. Unfortunately, the tragedy adds up to the number and that simply becomes the sum of it.

“Daydreaming?” you heard a questioning voice ask.

You looked up to see Dean approaching you. A smile threatened to spread across your lips, but you wouldn’t let it.

“More like Nightmaring,” you responded, earning a chuckle from him. “I thought you officers stayed in your cabins and kept to yourselves. Don’t you have duties to perform or wheels to turn somewhere? I mean, since you’re so devoted to your character.”

Dean simply shook his head and sat down beside you. He nodded his head toward the window, and you followed his cue to look, turning and seeing light begin to sneak up from the horizon.

“One of these days you should get some sleep,” he told you.

“I slept yesterday,” you defended.

“After giving your husband half a scare that you’d managed to jump ship and get yourself killed,” Dean retorted. “He came to find me last night because he searched everywhere, couldn’t manage to figure out where you’d gone. He thought since we’d been talking I might’ve had an idea.”

“I suppose you must’ve. He found me while I was asleep in the library and carried me back to our room.”

“Yes I know, I was with him when he did. Helped him put your books away. Interesting choices by the way. But, that’s not the point, is it? You seem so bothered by the idea that the ship will sink.”

“Wouldn’t you be?” you asked. “If you thought hundreds of people would die in a way that most people considered impossible, and no one believed you, wouldn’t you be bothered? Or frustrated? I can’t stop the ship from sinking, but I can stop this dream and bring you back to me. That’s all I want.”

Dean shook his head. “You’re really certain of this dream aren’t you?”

You looked up at him, his green eyes watching you. “I’m absolutely positive of it,” you assured him.

He looked away, nodding slightly as his gaze crossed over the room. “Would you like to see the bridge? I believe Captain Smith’s entertaining hours aren’t until later, so no first-class passengers should be up there.”

You turned to him excitedly and nodded. Dean simply grinned, standing up he offered you a hand. You gratefully accepted it and allowed him to escort you out to where the bridge was.

---

Dean spent most of the day entertaining you, explaining he had his shift later that night. You accepted every word and enjoyed every second.

You were shown the controls of the ship, met a few of the officers and came rather close to meeting Captain Smith, but, unfortunately, it seemed he was with some of the first class passengers.

The highlight was getting to meet Officer Lowe, who manned one of the 2 lifeboats that returned to the mass of floating bodies in search of survivors. First Officer Murdoch was also more than a pleasure. Both men were incredible, and, all your life in knowing of the story, you’d regarded them as good, brave men.

Now you stood on the forward well deck, looking out over the ocean as you stood beside Dean. Sam had found you earlier in the day and joined you just after meeting the other officers, as he and Dean got along pretty well.

The difference in the way they regarded each other now, between how they treated each other in real life, was almost laughable, and there were many times where you had to suppress your chuckles.

You were actually happy. Honestly and completely happy.

You’d spent the day forgetting that this was a doomed ship, that you were in a dream, and just forced yourself to enjoy it, knowing if you hadn’t found something to enjoy you may go mad.

You found yourself growing tired, as you had stayed up all through the night before.

Dean seemed to notice this as Sam was distracted once a young man came over and got him to talking.

“I told you you should have slept,” Dean informed you.

“Meh, who needs sleep when there’s a ship to see?” you asked him.

“Well, you do, apparently, those bags under your eyes could carry my spare change.”

“Oh, so what, you’re rich now?”

Dean chuckled at your retort, the sound of his laugh setting you at ease.

“You know I wonder something, have you met Thomas Andrews?” you inquired.

The man shook his head at you. “Not properly, no. I’ve seen him come up to speak with Captain Smith but I’ve never been introduced. Why?”

“I’d absolutely love to meet him.”

“Well, I think I might be able to get you there.”

You turned to him, eyes wide and full of excitement. “Please tell me that isn’t a joke, because if you’re telling the truth I might burst.”

“Well, don’t burst,” Dean laughed. “Come with me. I know where his cabin is, and he’s a kind man. I’m sure he’d be pleased to meet an admirer of his work.”

You nodded, reaching out and taking Sam gently by the arm. “We’re going to meet Mr. Andrews, the ship's designer. Are you coming?”

Sam leaned over to you. “No, go on. I’ll see you for dinner,” he responded.

You nodded at him before chasing after Dean, who’d walked away before realizing you hadn’t immediately followed.

Dean held out his arm for you as you approached and you cheerfully laced your arm through his, allowing him to escort you to Mr. Andrews cabin.

“So, I suppose I should thank you for keeping me from jumping on our first day,” you said to him.

“You suppose?” he asked.

“I mean, it seems like it makes sense, although if I’d been allowed to jump, this nightmare would be over, however right now it’s more of a dream. And, I’ve never actually seen you more refined than now. You almost seem like a gentleman.”

“Miss, I am not a gentleman. I am an officer.”

“I’ll make sure to mention that to your fellow officers.”

“You’re determined to make trouble, aren’t you?”

“I think I get it from spending far too much time with you,” you answered him, a satisfied smile dressing your face as Dean walked you down a corridor.

He stopped at a door and knocked.

Excitement welled up inside you, and you looked up at him before turning back to the door as it was opened.

A man opened the door, who you recognized to be Thomas Andrews.

At this point, the fact that this was a dream, and this was simply your perception of them who you were meeting, was all gone. You didn’t care if this wasn’t real if it was all just a dream because it was a dream come true. So much so, that you were massively confused by the intentions of the djinn who trapped you here.

“Hello, officer,” Andrews spoke, his eyes scanning over the both of you.

“Mr. Andrews,” Dean greeted. “I have a young woman here who is an admirer of your work who’d like to meet you. If you’re busy we can come back another time.”

“Not at all,” Andrews responded, turning to you. “It’s a pleasure, miss.”

You were pretty much struggling to breathe at this point. This was him… Thomas Andrews.

In your mind, this man was practically God of the Titanic. You were in complete disbelief, so much that you felt you couldn’t breathe from excitement.

“Oh, my, golly… hi,” you squeaked out, extending your hand.

The man smiled and accepted it, shaking your hand.

“I’m sorry I’m so flustered I just, I never thought I’d have the pleasure. Your work on the ship is marvelous, and you’ve put so much thought into every little detail. If I were to do something like that, I fear I’d lose my mind in a week.”

Thomas chuckled at your words. “Well, it certainly takes dedication and much patience, but when you see it come out like this, it truly is all worth it.”

You told yourself not to ask about the lifeboats, or the sinking, or anything about the possibility of the ship going under, but you couldn’t help it.

“I wonder… what, what might happen if the ship did get a fatal wound?”

“Well,” Mr. Andrews said, taking a moment to ponder your question. “I would like to be able to quote our captain, in his faith that the ship couldn’t possibly sink in any circumstance, although it’s true I can’t really think of anything actually damaging the ship so terribly it would sink. Please don’t worry about that though, this is a strong ship, the Titanic is, she’ll hold. She’ll take good care of you.”

You smiled at his answer, even though you knew what would happen, his words had calmed you, made you believe the ship was nearly sentient like a seaworthy Knight Rider, that would protect you. You wanted him to be correct, but you knew better. And soon, so would he.

“Well, thank you so very much for your time sir, it really was such an honor to meet you,” you told him.

“Oh, it’s my pleasure. Lovely to make your acquaintance. Have a lovely day.”

Mr. Andrews disappeared back into his room as Dean escorted you back outside.

As you walked out of the superstructure, you found the sunset beautifully coloring the sky.

“You’re really worried, aren’t you?” he asked, as you looked out at the open sea. As the day was coming to a close, the sense of doom became more and more present. Fear was clouding your moments.

You looked up at him, opening your mouth to speak but holding back, turning away again.

“I know what happens to this ship, I’ve learned all about it, I’ve watched every movie, documentary that still exists, read every book I could find. What will happen, it hurts me, knowing that nothing can be done. Because I’ve seen a world where these people are saved, and it’s not much better, it just messes things up more.” You sighed, finally looking up at him again, staring into his eyes “I know you don’t believe me, you think I’m crazy, you think what I say isn’t possible, but I know it, what’s going to happen, and I just ask that when it does, you promise to stick with me and Sam. I need you both when it happens.”

Dean, as an officer, should have mentioned he’d have duties to attend to, a job to get done, but he didn’t waste a second in nodding his head. “If it’ll make it easier for you, I’ll stay with you.”

“I’m not married to Sam, in fact, I’m in love with you.” Your eyes drifted away from his as your cheeks turned red. Something about this ship, these clothes, the people, it made you someone else, you spoke different, acted differently, were different. If this were Dean, he might’ve joked at you for sounding so melodramatic, but instead, he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close, pressing his lips against yours.

You didn’t fight the kiss, you didn’t consider it wrong. This was a bad dream that was becoming a shade of gray. First, you’d been terrified, it had been a nightmare, then a lovely dream, and now, even though you felt in some way Dean was back and was with you, you also knew what would happen by the next evening.

Dean broke away from the kiss but kept you in his embrace, and you buried your face in his shoulder, comforted by the familiar smell that was Dean in any world, in any dream or universe. Tears slipped from your eyes and down your cheeks. Fear began to consume you.

The end of this all was coming, and you knew, whether you wanted to or not, you would have to face it head on, and hopefully, that would free you and your foreshadowing to the boys of what would come might wake them and they would know what to do.

One way or another, this ship would sink, and you would be there when it did.

The end was coming.

And you could only hope that would be your freedom.

MY TAG LIST IS WIDE OPEN!!

Dream Team

@spn67-sister @queen-of-deans-booty@ria132love@winchestergeekfreak @maui137 @katymacsupernatural@jayneysimp @emoryhemsworth @just-another-busy-fangirl @jensensjaredsandmishaslover @mogaruke @kristendanwayne @cassieraider @squirrel-moose-winchester @hms-fangirl @heyitscam99  

Dean Team

@akshi8278 @polina-93 @aubreystilinski @-lovepeacenhope- @waywardbaby97 @missjenniferb @whimsicalrobots @rainflowermoonlibrary

Titanic Tags

@claitynroberts @atc74@woodworthti666 @strangedeerconnoisseur @avocadean @topendi

[cutiepiepotatoes]

Freya’s herbs

Ivarxreader

Disclaim: I don’t own any character. I placed a few references to other shows in it haha and it’s been a while since I wrote anything so I kinda got carried away (1900 words), also English isn’t my main language so please excuse me for possible grammar errors. Enjoy anyway and feedbacks are always welcomed!

Part 2

@feistybaby

Summary: Reader and Ivar are married, don’t know each other well, don’t want to know each other,  the seer gives them some herbs to eat

After three weeks being here, you had already enough of it. All the dirty smells, the cold, the odd looks the people keep giving you, the Ragnarsons’ smirks and of course Ivar’s behavior. That was the worse: acting like a child, yet being cruel and scary, ignoring you during the day, staring at you during all the feast in the great hall at night. The slaves were scared of him and keep you company, following his orders, but they were also scared of you, knowing your reputation.

Being the daughter of a great warrior, who became king of a foreign kingdom, you knew how to fight, how to kill and how to read. Speaking different languages helped you during raids, but it was also your worst flaw at one precise moment, at least it seems like that to you: when in England serving in your father’s army, you all met The Great Army, and decided to join forces to win. What was unexpected was that the Christian surrendered and during the negotiations for their lives, you stood out by understanding perfectly and answering them as if you were one of them. Surprised, Ivar decided you might be useful for other raids and asked your hand to your father, who eagerly accepted seeing you were far from finding a better suitor, being always in raid. Plus, he knew you didn’t want to get married, you wanted to remain a free shieldmaiden.

Now, you were treated like a princess who doesn’t know anything. Mostly because it apparently amused your dear husband. Walking around, you saw Ivar at the docks and immediately started to glare at him from afar. Which he reciprocated instantly. You looked like two idiots, glaring at each other, strangling the other in your head, at five feet apart. You approached, smiling at his brothers, and giving him your best fake smile: 

“Hello.”

“You piss me off so much!”

“Ivar, I literally just said hello.”

“And yet here I am, boiling with rage!” he growled at you, making you laughed at how ridiculous he was.

You were about to respond when the seer came, “May I speak with you, my King?”

“Well of course, mostly because it would to give me an opportunity to get away from this demon.” Your husband spitted at you, and you laughed even harder, making him even more pissed.

“Now the Gods want you and your wife to come”

“What?” you both said, suddenly completely serious with a dangerous voice. Ubbe just rolled his eyes, while Hvitserk slowly tried to leave, your tones reminding everyone how deadly you could both be if annoyed. The seer, who must have predicted your reactions, only walked back to his house knowing you would follow, which you did while growling and muttering protestations but refusing to go against the Gods’ desire. You didn’t wait for Ivar to take his crutches, you were even walking faster to get away from him a little. “Look like you want to murder everyone, shoulders down and chin up” used to say your mother for how to walk, and that is exactly what you were doing, on your own, alone, not next to Ivar. However, when you entered the seer’s house, something hit you: loneliness. You always walked alone, except on the battlefield, but even now you were walking alone on purpose to avoid your supposed husband. This statement saddened you, until you heard the oh-so-nice voice of Ivar:

“You’re in the way, woman.”

Except this time, instead of answering him with a witty comment, you just looked at him behind your shoulder and moved out the way. Your move made Ivar frowned and wondered what has gotten into you, and he realized he was almost, emphasis on almost, waiting your sarcasm. However, he showed nothing and kept walking.

“Sit down here please, and next to each other” the seer requested. You did as you were told, both still a bit weird from what just happened. “The Gods gave me a mission, and to pursue it I need both of you to eat these herbs tonight before sleep. You will have a dream which should help the Gods, mostly Freya, guide your couple through the journey of life. Do you know why the Gods decided to interfere?”

“Good question, wrong people, seer” you quickly answered. This made Ivar smiled a little, you were returning to your old self and it was somehow reassuring, yet he didn’t know why.

“You two have some things in common…”

“Breathing.” You said, but not as disgusted as you would have say it before. Ivar rolled his eyes but nodded, agreeing with you for once and noticing your change of tone.

“Yesterday, my royal couple, you had a fight.”

“So what? We fight all the time!”

“And that is what annoys the Gods, my King. They have plans for you two that aren’t realized because of your constant fighting. Yesterday I heard your fight and you said, I quote : “Ivar I swear I will squeeze your kneecaps if you keep glaring at me!” “then I will invert your rib cage Y/N!”. That was only two sentences of the long fight you had.”

You and Ivar looked at each other, slowly understanding how horrible you were to the other, but too proud to even think about changing. For once, the looks you had weren’t full of anger, they were almost respecful.

“Let the Gods guide you, let Freya do her magic on you this night.”

“Well, we won’t go against the Gods so give us the Freya’s herbs, seer.”

The rest of day was odd after your visit with the seer, Ivar was quiet, not yelling at his brothers or his men, he was just…quiet, going through his plans and ideas in pure silence. Ubbe was getting very worried, Hvitserk tried to act as normal as possible near him, until you entered the great hall, and oddly sat next to Ivar by choice. This made everyone ill at ease and even scared for some, as it was so unnatural. You were both silent, not going at each other throats but not talking nicely either, not talking at all actually.

The evening flew quickly, because no one stayed long after eating. The atmosphere was too heavy and they didn’t know why. You looked at Ivar, who only nodded before going to the bedroom. Once under the furs, you took the herbs and put some in Ivar’s hand.

“So are you ready, wife?” his question surprised you, he never called you wife before. But now wasn’t the time to think about it.

“Yes, on three. One, two…and three” and you both ate the herbs. Waiting for something to happen, none of you moved, but after some time you got really tired and fell asleep without even remembering it.

You woke up, and headed straight down the stairs in the kitchen. Ivar was here, making eggs. You bend down to kiss him lovingly.

“Good morning darling, did you sleep well? We have a long day ahead of us.”

“Yes honey, what about you? You moved quite a lot in your sleep this night you know. Is everything alright?”

“I did? Well yeah I don’t remember having a nightmare or else. I didn’t hurt your legs, did I Ivar?”

“No don’t worry. Go wake up the little monster, I’ll finish making breakfast for my girls” said Ivar, smiling while gently pushing your butt towards the exit from his wheelchair.

You entered the room, and approached the bed slowly, before gently stroking the little girl’s hair, kissing her head and whispering sweet words to wake her up nicely.

“Hi momma” she said in her little raspy voice. “Hi babe, sleep well?” “Yes but I’m hungry mom”. You chuckled, took her in your arms to go downstairs.

During breakfast, you look at Ivar with a knowing look, smirks forming on both of your faces.

“So sweetheart, your mom and I have a surprise for you: we’re going to spend the day at Disney today!”

“Really?!! YEAHHHHH” she ran into your arms yelling happily. “With the twins too?”

“No honey, the twins will spend the day at grandma Aslaug’s house. It’s only you and us today love. Sounds great?”

“Sounds awesome mom! Can I wear my princess dress?”

“Sure, go get ready princess!”

While she ran as fast as her little feet could take her, Ivar looked at her smiling, showing his white teeth. He was so peaceful, so calm, genuinely smiling, his eyes closed a little from how big his smile was. He was just so beautiful when he showed how happy he was. You didn’t even notice you were starring at him until he looked at you quizzingly, amused.

“What is it? Do I have pancake on my face?”

“No, no. You’re just…perfect for me. I love you, Ivar”

Ivar grabbed your face and crashed his lips on yours, looking at you with so much love in the eyes you thought you really saw hearts in it. “I love you too Y/N.”

Gasping, panting, sweating, Ivar grabbed your arm as you sat up, both of you trying to calm down and ease your breath. You looked back at Ivar, he seemed as confused as you, even more maybe.

“What was that?! Where is the Disney?”

You gasped, a dark look sitting on your face and you slowly answered him in a low, deep voice:

“Ivar, husband, is that really the only thing you remember from that freaking dream?! Are you serious?! We had three kids, our daughter was marvelous, you mother was alive, we were in love and you asked about this Disney? Really?!” This silent him, your angry look probably helped too.

“I… our daughter was indeed marvelous.”

Your heart was aching, you missed her so much, you wanted to hold her again, to kiss her head again. But it was only a dream, you didn’t even recognize anything of the décor around you. Your daughter, this girl, didn’t exist for real.

“Yes, she was, but… she wasn’t real, Ivar. We don’t have a daughter, we don’t have twins, and…we aren’t in love with each other.” A few tears were rolling down your cheeks, and you saw Ivar trying to prevent his from falling too.

“This dream, the love in it just felt so good, so real. I want that, Y/N. And…I want it with you. I know we aren’t getting along well for now, but with time and efforts, we will and maybe we will even… fall in love, and-and have children.” Seeing you were too shocked to answer yet, your jaw hanging a bit and your eyes wide open, he continued “I think if the Gods wanted us to see this maybe it’s because it’s what we should have…a family, with…love. What do you think, wife?”

“I-I…I think you’re right. Let’s try. Let’s become friends first and we will see. Deal, warrior?”

Grabbing the hand you extended towards him, Ivar pulled you back under the furs, close to him, a small but hopeful smile on both of your lips.

“Deal, shieldmaiden.”

[ryouverua]

Trial 6 - Ghost in the Machine (8)

Please clap.

(LET 👏 US 👏 (NOT) 👏 VOTE)

Trial: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7

Whoa, she’s seriously, truly not happy about this at all! This is… really, really scary? Like, I’m kinda finding her more terrifying that Junko right now…

!!! I - I didn’t even notice that? But she’s right - so that’s Tsumugi’s tell?!

Shouldn’t you be happy about that?! Isn’t that an acceptable ending? Or is it because it’ll just be a boring ‘default’ to it - so if they’d all submitted to despair it would be okay, but still not ideal -

I LOVE THAT THEY USED MAD-EYED!KOMAEDA SPRITE FOR HOPE

- quote from K1-b0, also known as ‘kibou’, self-proclaimed Ultimate Hope Robot.

“I literally just don’t give a shit anymore.”

ultimate tsun strikes again

I would have laughed if that had triggered the voting time screen??? But alas, the only student with that power other than the masterminds themselves has been Kokichi -

.... Wait, Kaito, technically.

Kaito if only you had realized you had such power in you this whole time - !

This is.... really weird music for a debate lol. But I like how they give you a ‘continue the game’ bullet! And of course, since the lying function turns it around...

I MEAN HE LITERALLY TOLD YOU THAT THEY WERE DONE -

Aaah, I see how this is going to go. Alright, I got the message loud and clear. I got your back, Sweetcheeks!

I just love how the music keeps stopping when Shuichi talks.

.... And of course, starts up again when Tsumugi responds.

And yeah, now that Maki pointed it out, she’s right??? She really is changing much less than before???

oh now you give me a normal answer for hangman’s gambit

Well since I’m chilling here anyway for the next 30 seconds.... eh, the music in this minigame isn’t bad, but it’s definitely not my favourite or particularly memorable -

FFGH the screen scared me and I thought I might have actually done something wrong?? But that’s the point, isn’t it. To make you feel like you’re making the wrong choice - !

Oh shit are we actually going to rotate through all the games?

.....

WAIT HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN ABLE TO SEE SHUICHI DOING THESE THIS WHOLE TIME?!?! WHAT?!

THIS HAS SOME REALLY WILD IMPLICATIONS -

THIS music is a jam though. Oh, they’ve definitely shortened the playtime for this! Probably good, tbh. Wasn’t the normal time limit at least 5 minutes, maybe even more?

n oooOOo I’M TRYING NOT TO GET ANY BUT I CAN’T STOP THE CAR ENTIRELY FUFUFUUUU

M... Monokuma, that’s.... literally the point....

OH MY GOD HOW DEEP DOES THIS MINIGAME RABBIT HOLE GO

YOU HAVE THIS MUCH CONTROL -d

Yo he is yelling straight past Tsumugi and Monokuma and right at the audience lmao

TSUMUGI SAVE YOUR SELF-ESTEEM AND DON’T READ THE LIVE COMMENTS

Holy crap they’re being so brutal to Shuichi et al., though? Look, I get we all have the people we wanted to survive but -

Anyway Tsumugi definitely has the face of a woman who went against all reason and logic and read the comments anyway. You are definitely a denizen of the internet! You should know better than this!

He is straight up wailing on them I am LIVING for this

Ooof those comments though, honestly - Shuichi is definitely riding high on spite, because I think he’d crumble otherwise. ... Probably being extremely sleep-deprived helps. I also get salty when I’m tired

Tsumugi they are literally going to sit here and complain if you don’t move forward, which is not very entertaining either. 8′D

Ah, but it’s great that they’re a united front. makes it easy to forget this is basically a suicide pact but, uh, let’s try to stay positive -

Oh she’s going for the softest target. But... I don’t think he can be swayed anymore. Even if he was the one fighting hardest for hope.

HUH -

HEY

HEY

HEY WHAT THE FUCK -

WHAT

WHAT JUST HAPPENED

WHAT DID YOU DO -

TSUMUGI WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!!!

guys

I........ I ......

..... I

I thought we were..... at the finish line

what.... this is.... this isn’t good.... wkajfsd;

i’M SCREAMING WHAT THE HELL

WHAT DID THEY DO?!?!?!

THIS IS SABOTAGE! YOU CAN’T JUST HIJACK HIM -

This is also literally K1-b0′s worst nightmare??? As a robot who wanted to be a human??? Oh there are so many layers of unfair to this -

the COMMENTS OH GOD

CTRL+ALT+KEEBO I am mad at how clever this is

dangit grandpas I cannot believe

Life ends in a flash LOL yeah the audience is completely desensitized huh

Is this really okay? .... or maybe not all of them

look at all this salt

shoot for the hope ending

Obviously, they’d be erased.

100% out of 100?

question taaaaaimu!

couldn’t read all of them but yeah

Whoa that reverberation on his voice...

AAAH THEY’RE SO WORRIED ABOUT HIM D: (Maki too, she just seems to react to this in different places for whatever reason.)

AND THEY SHORT-CIRCUITED HIM?! HARD RESET HIM OR SOMETHING?! HE’S A SURVIVOR TOO DAMN IT YOU CAN’T JUST DO THAT -

FFFFFFUFFUFFUUUUUUUUUU

They.... they bloody killed someone.... in the middle of a trial....

And hell, how could the audience have the ability to make that choice??? Who gave them that option?

That means... That definitely means there’s someone that had the ability to create that question for the audience to vote on, someone outside of her... right? Or could that be done via Monokuma? Via that staff she was talking about.... there was definitely a third party that created that option for them, right? As a way to salvage this situation for them.

Are they that depraved?! Do they really feel no attachment to the character they travelled with this whole time?! That’s.... actually really terrible?! I get that there’s a whole genre dedicated to living out your own fantasy through a character you can project yourself on, and K1-b0 served that function in a sense, but he still .... had his own.... character.......

LITERALLY DOES NOT DESERVE THIS

IF THEY TOLD YOU TO JUMP OFF A BRIDGE, WOULD YOU -

Wait actually don’t answer that -

WHY

WHY DID THE VOICE SHE JUST PUT ON MAKE ME LAUGH

FHGSDLKFJ

DAMN YOU TSUMUGI SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAS HAPPENED I FEEL TERRIBLE FOR LAUGHING AT SUCH A CRITICAL JUNCTURE

And now they have their hope vote.... fffgh

AAAAH HE’S BACK HE’S FIGHTING IT

Wow you’re really going to pull the ‘good put-upon white-haired boy gets controlled against his will but struggles against the inner voice in his head in order to help his friends’ thing on me now, huh

....

well it’s working damn it i am not okay

also kokichi will you respect him now that he can theoretically be interpreted as a YGO reference or -

THEY’RE ALL SO WORRIED FOR HIM

god why did it take so long for this

why did it have to be at the very end that they finally banded together with K1-b0

it’s so far too late for that now

K1-b0..............

ME FUCKING TOO SHUICHI FJSKLDFJSDFL;ASDJK

you don’t, uh, look sad like... at all

On that note - she was so pissed at him pre-trial? I’m sure that’s contributing to her feelings right now. And I swear she barely interacted with him in the previous chapters.... in fact, didn’t she dump on him in Ch 4 or 5 about being too sensitive about robophobia? About his ‘persecution complex’? Hot and cold, man...

WE WON’T LET THIS HAVE HAPPENED IN VAIN LET’S FUCKING DO THIS SWEETCHEEKS

UNHOLY SCREECHING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

I WEEP!!! I WEEP!!!!

that is also the noise I made wow I can’t believe we are in sync in this small incremental moment in time

This is the chance they worked so hard to give us!!!

I mean, there it was right there - him using that line that Kaito used to try and inspire them the entire game. He already died, but his love for Shuichi and Maki is present and here right now.

If all of them knew what was happening... I don’t think they would be upset at all. Hell, Kaede walked into that first trial knowing that it was going to be her last day, and Gonta, Kokichi and Kaito all basically used their lives as weapons to try and get the ending that they thought was the best for everyone - and that didn’t even always involve the class’s survival! We were practically primed for an ending where ‘dying is for the greater good‘ from the beginning!  So you know, he’s not... wrong. He’s just following in his classmates’ footsteps.

okay this is slightly cheesy but I’m still with you and more importantly I am always about tearing the wall down between the metaworld and the prime world via the power of love oh wait wrong series...

Would it be presumptuous to say that this is him now using Kokichi’s love for his classmates, right here? After all those things he said about the power of lies, and how lies could be kind, and that final sacrifice... is it okay to say that?

Honestly, Shuichi learned so damn much from the last trial. It’s so great to see it finally come together here.

ghgjgkhdkfh

Oh -

oh no, are we about to do what I think we’re going to do?

Oh no -

isn’t him being chained up a little on the noSE OH GOD OKAY HERE WE GO -

also does that mean this is the one minigame Tsumugi et al have no control over or -

THESE COMMENTS ARE INSANE

AND THE WAY HE’S STRAINING AT THE CHAINS AAAAAH -

oh god he’s screaming they’re all screaming I-I know she said he’s been erased but this isn’t his fault it’s not fair to him -

THIS IS SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF ME G O D

slkdfj the whole globe is blocking me I cannot believe

They’re calling it preachy, they’re talking about it being too meta, they don’t like these twists, hope, despair, hope, despair, give me the happy ending I want, kiibou-da, zetsubou-da, kiibou-da, zetsubou-da, they want closure, it’s all just about entertainment but -

IT’S HAPPENING -

That’s.... it........... -

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE CATCH K1-B0 OH MY GOD HE’S FALLING SO FAR -

I choose to believe that Shuichi spent the last five or so minutes screaming at K1-b0 zooming around the ceiling while the others watched

.... and Tsumugi just let him do that

I JUST SAID SHUICHI SPENT THE LAST FIVE MINUTES SCREAMING AT K1-B0 WHO WAS JUST FLYING AROUND THE CEILING BLASTING INTERNET COMMENTS FROM THE LOUD SPEAKERS MIU INSTALLED ALL OVER HIS BODY -

Logically, I know this must have gone through to them. There’s no way this hasn’t. My heart hasn’t caught up quiet yet, though - I am... cautiously optimistic, but also with that edge of nervous and tentativeness. We’ve gotten through... we most certainly have gotten through...

Why.... Why are you monologuing. You must realize. You’re setting yourself up. You’re setting yourself up, you’re supposed to be the genre-aware one -

Shuichi knows. Shuichi.... knows.

Doesn’t that??? Sound terrible??? And so contrived??? Monokuma, this is why it’s getting stale! It’s the same thing, every time! Honestly Shuichi is doing you a damn favour -

Famous last words, my girl. Famous last words.

It’s been a long time coming, but... we’re finally bringing it home, Kaede.

But, y’know - it just didn’t seem appropriate to end it all looking at her. So, Sweetcheeks? To the end?

.... We did our best. You did good, kid.

Yes!!! You were so strong throughout this whole thing, Himiko! This couldn’t have been an easy decision for you, after pushing yourself so hard to live for Tenko and Angie!

I think... we’re safe on that front at least.

‘And you totally screwed yourself over Imeanwhat-’

I have to wonder then what she would have done if the ending really was looking like it was going to be despair. Would she have allowed that to happen?

y-you can’t say that and ‘puhuhu’ in the same sentence -

You just said kiibou was the winner no need to be redundant okay that was bad I’m sorry

What a terrible ending. Hope at any cost... And here I thought Komaeda was the natural extreme/twisted version of ‘anything for hope’. One game later and we have a mastermind whose end goal was hope winning???

With a new personality, a new script.... and no memories of anything that happened here. Of the people he met, and lost, along the way. That’s so sad.

Wow I don’t know why but I really like that it’s Maki coming to K1-b0′s defense right now???

Her idea of fiction is actually pretty screwed up??? I mean, so much of fiction and writing prides itself on flowing smoothly, and people talking about things ‘being forced’ in a story is generally a bad thing???

Then again, she was perfectly happy to LITERALLY let K1-b0′s 'characterization’ be destroyed in order to brute-force the happy ending she/they wanted...

…. Just like Junko. But…

dude I know it’s a bit very super super super late to ask this but uh, do you need... to talk to someone? Maybe a therapist? I... I don’t think this excessive attachment is healthy....

No dude that’s cheesy af. What - what do those words even mean together? Grasp true hope - like, what?

NO IT’S SO AWFUL AND VAGUE THE ONLY THING INTERESTING ABOUT IT IS K1-B0 BEING THE LONE SURVIVOR AND THEN WHAT? AND THEN WHAT? YOU’VE GOT NO HOOK YOU’VE GOT NOTHING -

maki you sound like me tf

That smile - oh, he knows. Shuichi knows.

TSUMUGI I AM TELLING YOU, YOU ARE FALLING VICTIM TO ALL OF THE CLASSIC VILLAIN TROPES AND ‘DEFEAT DEATH FLAGS’ -

Here we go.....................................

!!

[douxreviews]

Jessica Jones - ‘A.K.A. Hellcat’ Review

"I've got this."

For the second time this season, Jessica Jones pulls the 'Let's see all that from someone else's perspective' trick. Once again, the second perspective is Trish's. Once again, it really, really works.

When the episode titles were announced and we were dividing up which Agent of Doux was going to review which episode, I saw the title for this one and thought to myself, 'Oh good, I get to do the one where Trish has her big hero debut that we've been waiting for. That will be neat.'

That was not what this was.

Since her funeral is the emotional core of the episode, why don't we start by talking about Dorothy. Last episode we saw most of the events of Dorothy's funeral, and what was surprising was the number of people who approached Jessica and Trish and told them inspiring stories of how Dorothy genuinely helped them in their careers. I was a little concerned about this, because I thought it might be the indication that we were going to go ahead and Hank Heywood Dorothy, and I really hate that trope.

If you don't follow Legends of Tomorrow, first of all let me say that you should be watching Legends of Tomorrow. Unless you hate things that are awesome. Secondly, I'll explain the reference. Hank Heywood was the father of Nate, one of the titular Legends. Hank was regularly shown to be an emotional abusive, self involved piece of garbage whose go-to move was to try to destroy as much of his son's self esteem as possible. Then Hank died, and at his funeral we heard one nice story about one singular time that he did something decent, and everyone acted like he was totally absolved of everything forever and has always been just like Jesus.

Obviously I'm still a little irritated by this. Hang in there, I'm coming around to my point.

Since then, 'Hank Heywooding' (v.) has become my own personal shorthand for that thing that TV and movies like to do in which they bestow retroactive sainthood on an intrinsically negative character for the sake of shoehorning in a 'redemption arc'. When the first few testaments to 'Dorothy saved my career' started coming in I really thought that's where they were going. with her. But then the show did something really interesting. Without disavowing or minimizing the times that Dorothy had honestly been a positive and supportive force for people, it went on in this episode to show us Dorothy at her most manipulative and emotionally abusive, pushing Trish into getting her big break through the most reprehensible means possible.

And just a side note, in case anyone is in any way unclear on the point; telling a girl that age that the financial well being of her whole family is entirely on her shoulders is not even the tiniest bit OK. To say nothing of adding on, 'now you're responsible for all of the cast and crew having jobs too.'

I like how they handled this overview of who Dorothy was as a person. It's complicated, and it's messy, and it feels realer than we generally can expect from television.

So, while we get 'Secret Origins: It's Patsy', what we're really being told is exactly what Jessica said both here and in a previous episode. Trish is who she is because of Dorothy. Good and bad. It just turns out that Trish is a lot more broken inside that we'd had an opportunity to see before, and her grief at Dorothy's death is being channeled into the worst possible interpretation of 'You're obligated to give it everything you've got.'

Great usage of misdirection leading into this episode. At the end of the previous one we interpreted Erik's look of shock when he entered the construction site office as, 'Oh my God, Trish is the killer!' It turns out that what he was really shocked by was how completely Trish had lost control. In fact, all of the 'do over' scenes that we get here are reinterpreted in fascinating little ways now that we know Trish's side of the story. That's good storytelling.

I felt just awful for Erik through most of this one. He's right, the situation is completely dicked. It was endearing how dedicated he was to rescuing Jessica from being arrested for the crime that he himself was at least partially responsible for. It did however make me sad inside to find out that he was lying to Jessica by omission last episode. I really wanted to believe in him. Wonderful detail as well that Erik called the cops on Jessica in order to stop her from preventing Trish from attacking Mr. Arsonist and thereby giving Jessica an alibi. Erik and Jessica are going to have one hell of a come to Jesus talk at some point very soon.

So, final score at the close: Jessica was mostly absent. Trish is deeply scary now and completely off the rails. Erik's heart is in the right place but he continues to make poor choices. And Dorothy was capable of being both very good and very bad. RIP Dorothy, and bring on the final two installments.

Bits and Pieces:

- Young Trish's red wig was absolutely horrible.

- The flashback of Trish attacking Sallinger didn't give us any new information, but set up the structure of the episode really nicely. I liked how they handled that.

- Was Erik's expression after Trish punched him just pain from the punch or was he feeling evil from her? Was the punch a plotting contrivance to justify why he didn't sense evil from her at that moment?

- What the everloving hell was up with Omar 'Satan wins when the forces of light stand idly by’ the Doorman? That's a super messed up thing to say to someone whose mother was just murdered. I notice that we didn't see his face when he said it though. Are we going to find out that that was just in Trish's mind?

- Erik and Trish continue to have amazing chemistry with one another as performers. Also, most irresponsible vigilante team ever.

- It was good that the kick that killed Nussbaumer didn't look any more over the top than anything else she'd done. That sold the 'it was an accident' vibe.

- I suppose leaving the badge behind with victim number two should theoretically clear Jessica of the first murder.

- I have a million questions about whether evil is a tangible and finite substance, based on Erik's reaction to the first death.

- Did anyone else get a real Logan Echolls vibe off of Erik through most of this episode?

- Did Erik leave the trailer because Trish was giving him a headache there at the end? Because that was my read.

- I actually experience a groin pull just watching Trish put her foot on Jeri's throat. I can't be the only one who thought Trish was going to attack her.

- Jeri is now blackmailing Trish in order to get her to help solve Kith's problems. That's nice plot dovetailing. There is now no shortage of people who might kill Jeri before the season's end. My money's currently on Trish, although Jessica might be the dark horse in that race.

- I love the worldbuilding detail that cops have to take into account how various superpowers affect their perp investigations.

- Trish is totally going after Sallinger now, right?

- This episode was written by Jane Espensen, my favorite TV writer of all time.  I wrote her a love song once.  You can google it.

Quotes:

Dorothy: "What did I tell you about parentheticals?"

Trish: "Despite everything on my side, the good, the right, they still win."

Trish: "Was I bothering you? Because your wife beating was bothering me."

Erik: "I can take a hit. When it’s righteous."

Dorothy: "You take that holier than Mom look off your face."

Trish: "You blackmail guilty people." Erik: "I’m re-thinking that career path."

Erik: "If you get hurt chasing my bad guy, Jessica is going to kick my face in and I’ll let her."

Erik: "Christ. This is so dicked up."

Another solid installment which fills in the answers to a bunch of questions that we didn't know we should be asking yet.

Eight out of ten groin stretching exercises.

---

Mikey Heinrich is, among other things, a freelance writer, volunteer firefighter, and roughly 78% water. 

[that-curly-haired-lesbian]

The Seven Husbands Of Evelyn Hugo + Taylor Swift: a master post - Part 5/6

Hi guys, welcome to part 5 of my masterpost regarding parallels between Taylor Swift and Evelyn Hugo, the fictional actress from the book The Seven Husbands Of Evelyn Hugo by author Taylor Jenkins Reid!

Before proceeding please be aware that there will be 

**MAJOR SPOILERS**

for the book ahead and please also read my disclaimer!

It’s very important that you read these in order so if you haven’t yet go ahead and check out the previous part right here, thank you and enjoy!

“And then she calmly, confidently took my hand. I bristled, unsure if we should be touching in public, scared of what people would do.  But the rest of the people on the street just kept on walking, kept on living their lives, almost entirely unaware or uninterested in the two famous women holding hands on the sidewalk.” (Pg. 234)

Admittedly not holding hands here, but this was actually the first thing that came into my head when I read the scene above…Here are some actual pictures of the girls holding hands in public though:

--

  “We went out to dinner in public, the four of us looking like two pairs of     heterosexuals, without a heterosexual in the bunch.” (Pg. 234)

This is once again Evelyn talking about their foursome of beards during the New York years and I believe this is something akin to what Taylor and Karlie were hoping to have with Josh and Joe/Tom (or whoever Taylor was meant to beard with long-term) pre-election disaster, hence that retrospectively embarrassing pap walk of Josh with Austin as a way to try and integrate Josh into to Taylor’s social circle so that her, her beard and Karlie and Josh could become “America’s favorite double daters” (as Evelyn describes it)

Obviously with the election turning out as it did Team Swift quickly reworked the plan.

--

Pages 234-238 is Evelyn talking of the Stonewall riots and how she remembers those days and there are specific parts of it that are interesting from a Gaylor/Kaylor point of view.

“Harry and I campaigned for Bobby Kennedy. Celia posed with Vietnam protesters on the cover of ‘Effect’. John was a vocal supporter of the civil rights movement and I had been a very public supporter of the work of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.” (x) (x)

“This was our people. And here they were, revolting against the police, in the name of their right to be themselves. While I was sitting in a golden prison of my own making.”

Gold cage, hostage to my feelings (x)

Evelyn, Celia, Harry and John discuss going to participate in the Stonewall riots, wishing they could be a part of this, of fighting for their own people, but ultimately Harry explains why they can’t best when he says:

  “We go down there all we do is attract attention away from the cause and       towards us. The story becomes about whether we are homosexuals and not   about the rights of homosexuals.”

Still wanting to help make a difference the gang discuss how they best can help and come to the conclusion that their best contribution is funding.

Evelyn says about it all:

  “Because of who I was, because of the sacrifices I made to hide parts of     myself, I was able to give more money than most people ever see in their entire lifetime. I am proud of that. But it does not mean that I wasn’t conflicted. And of course, a lot of the time that ambivalence was even more personal than it was political. I knew it was imperative that I hide, and yet I did not believe I should have to. But accepting that something is true isn’t the same as thinking that it is just.”

Remember kids, closeted does not mean ashamed! Taylor accepting that she has to beard does not mean she likes it or even supports the practice. She uses her voice and her money to stand up for the LGBT+ community continuously and that in itself is a brave act for someone who is so deeply closeted!!

--

On page 241 Evelyn refers to herself as “the sort of person who liked being extravagant and absurd.” Basically she’s saying she was extra af™ which just sort of reminded me of how we often comment on how extra™ Taylor is with her hints and teases and it also reminded me of that time Taylor sarcastically referred to herself as “a very subtle person” The two quotes have the same energy if you will!

--

On Evelyn’s birthday the gang goes out to dinner and Celia makes a small “happy birthday, I love you”-type speech which was reminiscent of the birthday posts, sweet! (pg. 242)

(one of many of course)

    “’You love me?’ She said.   ‘Oh my God, what an understatement,’ I told her. ‘You love me so much you can’t see straight?’” (Pg. 245)

   Too in love to think straight……………

--

Years after they last saw each other Evelyn meets back up with her abusive ex-husband, Don (one out of only two of her husbands who wasn’t a beard) when she’s put in a situation where the two of them have to do a movie together.

   “‘I know it doesn’t make up for what I did to you,’ he said.

   ‘Good,’ I said. ‘Because it really doesn’t.’

  ‘But I hope it might make you feel a little better,’ he said, ‘to know that I know I    was wrong, I know you deserved better, and I’m working every day to be a     better man.’

  ‘Well, it’s awfully late now,’ I said. ‘You being a better man does nothing for       me.’ (Pg. 256)

I wonder what we would’ve becomeeeee If you were a better mannnnn We might still be in loveeeee If you were a better mannnnn You would’ve been the onoooooe If you were a better mannnnnn

*The rest of Better Man plays softly in background*

--

On page 164 Evelyn gives Celia a bouquet of lilies which happens to be Karlie’s favorite flowers, Celia calls the flowers Gorgeous

--

When Celia finds out that Evelyn filmed a sex scene with her ex-husband without telling her she’s so upset she threatens to leave again, Evelyn’s reaction:

   “I sobbed.  And I pleaded. And I groveled, desperately, on my knees,           having long ago learned the lesson that you have to throw yourself at the     mercy of the things you truly want.” (Pg. 267)

    If you walked away I’d beg you on my knees to stay

--

The scene on pages 267-268 where Evelyn begs Celia to take her back has major How You Get The Girl/Delicate/Don’t Blame Me vibes…It’s too long to quote, but I dare you to go read it and tell me I’m wrong!

--

  “’I made people money. No one turns away money. They were all too happy to    get me in their movies and then talk about me behind my back.’” (Pg. 270)

Evelyn says this after discussing the rampant slut-shaming of her following her many marriages and her 1970’s film 3AM which people deemed both unbecoming of a lady and  unfeminist. She goes on to point out the duality of her image, while studios acknowledge that “sex sells” and therefore want Evelyn in their movies due to the audience pull she has they also slut shame her for her numerous marriages and choices in roles. When Monique points out that this eventually turned out fine as people these days praise Evelyn for her role in the film Evelyn points out:

  “’It’s all fine in hindsight,’ […] ‘Except that I spent years with a scarlet A on     my chest,’ […]” (Pg. 270)

Does the phrase “a scarlet A” sound familiar? Well, I bet ya:

  You were Romeo  I was a scarlet letter

and

  We show off our different scarlet letters

  Trust me, mine is better

Also sound familiar, right? In several of my queer analyses of Taylor’s songs I bring up the fact that “scarlet letter” refers not only to the literal scarlet A on main character Hester’s clothes, but also to the concept of sin in Nathaniel Hawthorne’s 1850 novel The Scarlet Letter. (x) (x) (x)

I continue to point out that I think Taylor uses the concept of the scarlet letter as sin to refer to her (in the eyes of the entertainment industry) scandalous secret homosexuality, the “celebrity sin” she’s guilty of.

Evelyn uses the analogy here to refer to her own status as “a sex pot” (her words, pg. 269) in Hollywood. She says that she is a “sex pot” of Hollywood’s own creation not only by the increasingly sexually charged roles she took on during the 70’s but also because of the numerous husbands the industry forced her to take as to not be outed. By forcing bearding on her the industry opened the doors for the constant slut shaming directed at Evelyn and I feel the industry has done much the same to Taylor. The recent for the slut-shaming she’s had to endure is (like Evelyn) the numerous men she’s dated, but she only did that to hide the truth of her (far fewer) true (gay) relationships. Considering my previous points on Taylor and the scarlet-letter/sin-metaphor I thought Evelyn’s use of the analogy here interesting and noteworthy. It is of course interesting too, that the movie for which Evelyn received the most scrutiny and shaming happens to be called 3AM, we all know that Taylor mentions 2AM rather frequently in her songs about love, which are of course where she has received the most scrutiny, her songs and all the “numerous boys” they are supposedly about. I pointed out this similarity between Evelyn’s movie title and a frequent motif in Taylor’s music earlier in this analysis, but thought it was worth pointing out 3AM as a possible blanket-metaphor for Taylor’s music within the context of this book yet again.

--

  “I broke Celia’s heart because I spent half my time loving her and the other     half hiding how much I loved her.” (Pg. 271)

  Sometimes when I look into your eyes   I pretend you’re mine all the damn time

                                //

  Your love is a secret I’m hoping, dreaming, dying to keep

--

  “I loved Celia and I shared my truth only with Celia.” (pg. 271)

  Even in my worst light, you saw the truth in me

Just like Evelyn Taylor is saying that even when her public reputation is bad and also very far from the actual true narrative of her life Karlie is the one that actually knows the truth and the only one she can share the full extent of that truth with.  

--

“I did a lot of things that hurt a lot of people and I’d do them all again if I had to.” (Pg. 172)

Those are Evelyn’s words and yet all I can hear are Taylor’s…

  Theeeeeey say I did something BAD                          […]   And I'd do it over and over and over again if I coUUUUld

--

  “I had very little energy left to try to hide who we were. I had learned   all too        well that pain is sometimes stronger than the need to keep up     appearances.” (Pg. 274)

It would seem that in the Reputation era Taylor too has very little energy left to try and hide, she has previously learnt all too well what keeping up appearances can cost you.

--

Thanks so much for reading, check out part 6, the finale!

[wolfdancer333]

Writerblr Questions!

I actually decided to do one!! Reblog and answer the questions to get to know each other! :) 

1. Favorite place to write. - Anywhere. If I can write there, I love it! 2. Favorite part of writing. - I can write whatever what I want for whatever reasons I want. 3. Least favorite part of writing. - WRITERS BLOCK 4. Do you have writing habits or rituals? - Hmm. Not really. I just sort of go with the flow, I guess? Write when I want to write and write what I want to write when I want to write it. 5. Books or authors that influenced your style the most. - I have so many I would need three different Tumblr accounts to encompass them all. Seriously. But I do like mostly fantasy/romance authors! 6. Favorite character you ever created. - I will reveal characters on this writerblr so I want to keep them a secret a bit longer ;) 7. Favorite author. - Refer to question 5. 8. Favorite trope to write. - I know there is a huge debate about them but I really like the Chosen One trope. 9. Least favorite trope to write. - Love Quadruples and Beyond. I can deal with a triangle but I don’t like to write a more complicated love feud then that! 10. Pick a writer to co-write a book with and tell us what you’d write about. - Well, @duskblue-art! And thats a secret! For now ;) 11. Describe your writing process from scratch to finish. - Um.....Words? I put words down. I type. I eat. I cry. I do it all again. 12. How do you deal with self-doubts? - Breathe and power through them. They don’t last. And I promise: your work is perfect! 13. How do you deal with writers block? - This nasty little bug....It struck me for 5 years and I’m just now getting back into the game of things! But it will pass. My best advice is keep writing, keep believing in yourself, and if you need a break fro it all, take one! Writers block will pass. 14. What’s the most research you ever put into a book? - 2 years. 15. Where does your inspiration come from? - The Thought Monster in my head. Literally just regurgitates ideas right and left. 16. Where do you take your motivation from? - My readers. Current and present. I don’t just write for me. I write for those who want to read my writings. 17. On avarage, how much writing do you get done in a day? - Here we go. Anywhere from nothing to 8,000 words a day. 18. What’s your revision or rewriting process like? - It’s my child and I’m scared to break it. That should give you a decent picture! :) 19. First line of a WIP you’re working on. - Sometimes, Heaven got a bit boring. 20. Post a snippet of a WIP you’re working on. - If only one choice, one moment, one decision, one encounter had or had not happened then what existed in that span of time? In that single moment of balance where you have a choice is where Fate rests it’s hands. 21. Post the last sentence you wrote in one of your WIP’s. - “Your move.” 22. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied and a project is ultimately done for you? - However many it takes! Each work is different and requires different amounts of drafts. 23. Single or multi POV, and why? - Single and because switching too many POV’s can be confusing. I prefer either 1st Person or 3rd Person. 24. Poetry or prose, and why? - Poetry! 25. Linear or non-linear, and why? - Depends on the book or writing! Sometimes, non-linear is better and at other times, linear is preferred. 26. Standalone or series, and why? - Oh my god both! But I do have a soft tender spot for series. After all, when is the end REALLY the end? 27. Do you share rough drafts or do you wait until it’s all polished? - Only with my trusted friends and chosen beta readers.

28. And who do you share them with? - Refer to question 27! 29. Who do you write for? - My readers and myself. 30. Favorite line you’ve ever written. - Oh wow. There are so many WIP’s I have floating around I couldn’t honestly be bothered to look through them all to find one XD 31. Hardest character to write. - Non emotional characters. I am a very emotional person so therefore I have problems disconnecting to write stoic sort of characters! 32. Easiest character to write. - BRING ON THE FEELINGS MAN!! 33. Do you listen to music when you’re writing? - No. Most of the time I will play music, pause, then write. Then so on and so forth. 34. Handwritten notes or typed notes? - Typed. 35. Tell some backstory details about one of your characters in your story. - Sorry, can’t yet! 36. A spoiler for story. - Dragons. 37. Most inspirational quote you’ve ever read or heard that’s still important to you. - When the world says, “Give up,” Hope whispers, “Try it one more time.” 38. Have you shared your outline of your story with someone? If so, what did they think of it? - Only with my co-writer. We came up with it together and we both love it and can’t wait to share! 39. Do you base your characters of real people or not? If so, tell us about one. - Sometimes. Mostly not. One character in a current WIP is based loosely off my deceased grandfather as he was a very big part of my life. 40. Original Fiction or Fanfiction, and why? - BOTH!! Fanfics are my life. 41. How many stories do you work on at one time? - Pfft. How many documents can Windows open at a single time? 42. How do you figure out your characters looks, personality, etc. - Literally, I just guess. I sort of throw their looks together and then fine tune them as I work on the plot of the book. I spend days and weeks just plotting. Character designs, plots, ideas, etc. 43. Are you an avid reader? - YES. 44. Best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten. - Any feedback is good. 45. Worst piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten. - I was once told I should give up writing and never think about being an author. 46. What would your story look like as a tv show or movie? - Hmm never really thought about it. I’m not too sure I can think of anything at the moment!

47. Do you start with characters or plot when working on a new story? - All of it. At once. Over days and days of thoughts. 48. Favorite genre to write in. - Romance/Fantasy/Drama 49. What do you find the hardest to write in a story, the beginning, the middle or the end? - Honestly? The middle. 50. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had. - Oh gods. @duskblue-art name one XD 51. Describe the aesthetic of your story in 5 sentences or words. - Nothing is as it seems. 52. How did writing change you? - In what ways hasn’t it changed me? I am who I am because I can create these words and put them on paper. This is the first time I have gone public with anything I have wrote and connected to a writing community. So I would say writing has changed my life. 53. What does writing mean to you? - I cannot stress enough how much it means to write. I absolutely love it. 54. Any writing advice you want to share? - It will get hard. You will feel down and you will hate what you write. Don’t give up, please. Keep your head up. Keep writing. And breathe. It will be okay. You are a great writer. From the time you get an idea to every word you write to every slam of the pen when you can’t. You. Are. A. Writer. And no one can tell you otherwise. You are a writer, your words are great, your ideas are beautiful. You can do it.

[bullet-farmer]

1,300 words about Loki, mental illness, and why “lol he’s such a lovable asshole” isn’t my jam.

Anyway, Loki is a severely traumatized and mentally ill person who has very few positive coping mechanisms and falls entirely outside the bullshit respectability politics MI people are supposed to play by in order to be considered full human beings. And that’s one of many reasons why he has legions of fans--many of whom are fellow MI people--and why I love him. 

And why his Ragnarok arc means a lot to many of us—and why we’re worried about his Infinity War arc. 

To be honest, it kind of bothers me when people are like “lol Loki is such a trash asshole.” I mean…yes? Sometimes? And you’re entitled to your own interpretation of a movie, and especially of its most multifaceted character, so I won’t get in your face because I think you’re wrong on the internet. But that’s not all he is. And as someone with an illness that makes society dismiss me as a piece of trash and a raging asshole (who isn’t deserving of equal rights, I might add), I’m sorry to be riled up about this, but it does kind of rile me up.

When I watch Thor, I see a person who already had mental health challenges and a lot of doubt about his place in the world have his entire life blown apart with no help to pick up the pieces and no real understanding of how to pick them up.

When I watch Avengers, I see a person having a full-blown crisis and lashing out at anything and everything in his path—especially someone who loves him—to try to gain some control over his life. The fact he has godlike powers and can therefore make his problems, everyone’s problems doesn’t take away from this. If anything, it only adds to it to me. Because as a borderline, I can tell you that I’ve wanted the entire world to feel my pain and understand it many, many times.

When I watch Dark World, I see a person who finally becomes numb to everything life has thrown at him and who finally just decides to fade out of it, away from even the family he loves.

And of course, we assume the worst of him because, well we just watched him have a violent breakdown, right? So why wouldn’t he kill Odin, who said the most horrible thing to his son that I think I’ve ever heard a father say to a child in a work of fiction (tbh, it resonated with me because my father told me something similar, so I’m probably biased here)? Why wouldn’t he run Asgard into the ground out of spite or imbalance?

Then in Ragnarok, we find out that…he hasn’t. He’s just watching plays about himself, eating grapes, and being a hedonist. But meanwhile, he seems to be doing all right at his job. Asgard isn’t on fire and neither are any of the nine realms—well, except the one that’s always on fire ;p.

And yes, it’s funny! The Tragedy of Loki of Asgard is fucking hilarious! Loki’s little “oh shit” when Thor arrives put me on the floor laughing!

But comedy is just tragedy sped up, as a professor of mine once wisely said.

And the real tragedy of Loki here is that he has so much potential and is just…directionless. He sits around with his feet up watching what is essentially bad Asgardian daytime TV while comfort-eating. Which, you know, no depressed or traumatized person has ever done, like, ever. And when he lands on Sakaar, he gets to do what basically amounts to even more of it, with, possibly, wild sex with the Grandmaster on top of that.

And throughout all four movies, Thor is every NT/NOMI sibling who deeply loves their MI brother or sister, but who is at a loss of how to help them. We see him try pleading and reasoning. We see him try threats. We see him try bribery (help me avenge our mother). We see him try guilting and disappointment and even a brand of dark humor.

And then we see him figure it out.

He can’t strongarm Loki into making better, healthier choices, or coping better. He can’t sweet-talk or reason him into it, because mental illnesses don’t tend to respond in the long term to force, empty talk, or even reason.

So he does the one thing that I think works well—or at least, that is beginning to work for me.

Thor stages an intervention.

He tells Loki that he loves him, that he believes in him, that he thinks he can be more than he is and better than he is. That he has the power and the talent and the brains to do it, but that, in the end, the decision is his. Not Thor’s. Not Frigga’s. Not Odin’s . And if he can’t make those choices, Thor can’t be a part of his life anymore.

That’s why “You’ll always be the god of mischief, but you could be more” is the most meaningful movie quote for me of all time. People have been trying to do this for me for years, and I never really understood until that scene just what their efforts meant.

And for a minute, I worried that Taika wouldn’t get it either. But he did.

You see, Loki figures out that his brother is right. And he rises to be his better self. When he shows up in the ark, head held high, and walks through the crowd, he became the king he always wanted to be. When he used his helmet as a weapon to defend his people—and, in the credit animations kneeled while doing so—he became the king he could always have been. And when he stood at his brother’s side, he became so much more than many ever thought possible.

Look, I’m not trying to say that Loki is all sunshine and unicorn sparkles. He’s both an anti-hero and an anti-villain, and he’s probably going to spend the rest of his very long life struggling with, and at times falling prey to, the “grave imbalance” Thor referred to. Which is how a lot of MI people feel and experience life. For example, I see myself as both anti-hero and villain of my own story, not the hero, and often not even the protagonist. That is why I struggle to relate to 99.9999% of protagonists and frankly didn’t find any characters who I felt represented me until I was in my early thirties and saw Frozen.

So I’m not so much interested in “Loki the entertaining, day-drinking asshole” as I am in “Loki the survivor who can be, at times, both entertaining and an asshole (and a day-drinker).”

This is why he’s a valuable character for mentally ill people like me, and the hero—yes, hero—we deserve. Because few characters in mainstream media are allowed to be mentally ill and complex. We’re either portrayed as fragile little victims of our own brains, or violent evildoers who will probably try to kill the nice NT/NOMI protagonist and everyone they love. Or we’re just funny “Hollywood crazy” like Erik Selvig in Dark World (which wasn’t cringy as fuck at all backslash-sarcasm). Or just outright monsters like Hannibal Lechter. Or we’re the Good Kind of Mentally Ill that just sits there and looks Tragic and Pretty and doesn’t cause Problems. Or at least creates some nice art or books before we off ourselves.

We never get to be people. Messy, complicated, but not monstrous people, like NT/NOMIs do.

And Loki gets to be a complicated, messy, thoroughly mentally ill person who is struggling to figure out his place in the world after tremendous loss and a lifetime of feeling like he just doesn’t fit in anywhere.

This is why I’m incredibly, fiercely protective of him and his mentally ill fans. And why I can sometimes get annoyed with interpretations of him that, to me, don’t seem to understand how he’s anything but an entertaining jerk who sometimes does the right thing. Maybe. 

(Note: if you like this little ramble, I’m working on a much longer essay about him that will incorporate some of these thoughts. If you REALLY liked this, please consider buying me a ko-fi to help a disabled, queer writer create more in-depth pieces about media we know and love--or sometimes don’t.)   

[starwarsnonsense]

The EW coverage: What it means for Rey and Kylo

Lesson #1: Kylo Ren is fascinated by Rey

Anthony Breznican’s editorialising (EW): As we know, the young scavenger was ditched as a child on the hardscrabble junkyard world of Jakku by unknown parents and left for years to survive on her own. But lately, she has gotten accustomed to making fast friends, like BB-8, Finn, Chewbacca, and General Leia Organa. Even the murderous Kylo Ren became fascinated by her strength and resilience after kidnapping her.

This is a true ‘no shit’ observation to most of us, but since it’s often downplayed or simply ignored it’s nice to see Kylo’s fascination acknowledged by a mainstream outlet like EW.

Lesson #2: Expect the ‘bad’ guys to do good things, and the ‘good’ guys to do bad things

Daisy Ridley (EW): “What’s wonderful is it’s not so cut and dry, who’s good and who’s bad and that’s not me saying, ‘Oh, my God, some people are gonna go bad. There’s always room for bad people to make good decisions and vice versa. Again, that could be nothing to do with your parents and it could be everything to do with your parents.”

Kylo made the worst decision conceivable in the climax of The Force Awakens (patricide is not okay, kids!), so I don’t feel like I’m on shaky territory by suggesting that if anyone is going to make a surprising turn and embody the potential for good that Daisy refers to here, it will be Kylo Ren. I may be wrong and we may see Hux have a drastic change of heart and commit himself to the Resistance cause, but I consider Kylo the safer bet. It’s just a feeling I have, buoyed by numerous publicity photos of Kylo Ren looking mournful, tormented and puppy-ish:

I also find it worth pointing out that while Daisy denies that any of the good guys will turn bad (“that’s not me saying, ‘Oh, my God, some people are gonna go bad”), she doesn’t exclude the possibility that a bad guy will turn good. It may mean nothing, but it may mean a lot. We’ll see in due course.

Lesson #3: Rey and Kylo are both going on a metaphoric journey through adolescence

Rian Johnson on Rey and her encounter with Luke (USA Today): The new film from the start will explore the relationship between Luke (Mark Hamill) and Rey, who shows up on his remote intergalactic island with his old lightsaber “both not knowing what’s going to happen and also having a lot of expectations in her head about how this is going to go,” Johnson says. “It very much feels like what we all go through in adolescence, the dawning of this new chapter of our lives."

Rian Johnson on Kylo (EW): “He’s definitely been knocked off base. The defeat that he had at the end of The Force Awakens, but even bigger than that, his huge defining act which, spoiler alert, is the murder of his father… that’s the more interesting thing to dive into. How has he dealt with that in his head? Where is he at in terms of that act and what does that mean for him?” 

Johnson said Ben Solo’s shift to darkness is symbolic of “the treacherous road through adolescence” that Star Wars often explores. 

“Kylo represents kind of the rebellious anger that you feel during that period. Honestly, sometimes it’s a healthy desire to push away from the place that you know, from the things that you came from. But he obviously does it in an extreme that’s not healthy at all.”

In these two separate interviews, Rian was essentially comparing the journeys that Rey and Kylo go on through The Last Jedi to the trials of adolescence. At the start of the film we see Rey starting out on a “new chapter” of her life, apparently filled with naive hope and optimism, as is the case with many young people setting out on a new adventure. Kylo, meanwhile, is in the pits of despair, clearly tormented by his decision to kill his father. In other words, Rey embodies the naive hope of early adolescence while Kylo captures the fear and existential dread of a young man in crisis - while reality hasn’t quite hit home for Rey yet, it has given Kylo a rude awakening and made him realise the gravity of his choices. 

By positioning them in this way, it seems that the film is reinforcing the commonalities between them - they are both, in a metaphoric sense, adolescents still struggling to define themselves and decide who they want to be. Situating them as adolescents is also about preparing them for seismic changes ahead, particularly changes brought on by their own choices. If we can be sure of anything based on this, it’s that neither character will remain static. Their stories will instead be all about growth, development and self-discovery.

Lesson #4: Rey and Kylo are two halves of a whole

Rian Johnson (EW): “[Kylo and Rey are] two halves of the dark and the light.”

This is part of a long line of Reylo-tastic quotes, including but not limited to:

J.J. Abrams’ commentary:

“This is the moment of course where Kylo Ren learns about Rey. And now, these two disparate pieces come together.”

“One of the new relationships that we were focusing on was between Kylo Ren and Rey. They’ve never met but he’s heard of this girl. And so, now comes a moment when their meeting is inevitable. […] And now we’re back to our heroine. And this moment where she is about to, for the first time, be confronted by Kylo Ren, a character who she’s going to have a very interesting relationship with moving forward.”

Star Wars Databank (Kylo’s gallery):

Landing on Takodana, Kylo confronted the young woman who’d escaped from Jakku with BB-8 – and found himself puzzled by a strange connection he felt with her.

Rey defeated him, and Kylo escaped Starkiller Base before its destruction. He sensed his destiny and Rey’s were somehow intertwined, but how?

Star Wars Databank (Rey’s gallery):

She rejected this call to destiny, but was captured by the dark side warrior Kylo Ren, with whom she shared a strange connection.

But to the surprise of both, Rey found Kylo’s own mind open to her as well¹. She saw that the seemingly fearsome warlord was vulnerable, filled with conflict and pain.

This is also a good point at which to remind everyone that the working title of Episode VIII was ‘Space Bear’, and the logo for the movie during production was a panda:

I am far from the first person to make this observation, but I think it’s worth resurrecting because Rian’s description of Rey and Kylo as “two halves of the dark and the light” essentially confirms - for me, at least - that the panda imagery is about them. The panda is literally a combination of dark and light elements that form a whole (see also: ying/yang), and I strongly doubt it was chosen as a symbol of the movie arbitrarily. In other words, it looks like the concept of Rey and Kylo as complementary figures embodying the dark side and the light was deemed important enough to represent the film as a whole. Basically, the panda is the Reylo logo.

Lesson #5: Rey and Kylo have a high compatibility ranking

Anthony Breznican’s editorialising (EW): Among their shared interests: She is an expert pilot, and in this film well see him maneuvering his own starship, the TIE Silencer, which is a variation on his grandfather, Darth Vader’s old ship.

This may have just been AB contriving a way to work a reference to the TIE Silencer in there (boys and their spaceships, amiright?), but I find it hilarious that a piece on Rey and Kylo discusses them using language normally found in dating apps.

Lesson #6: Rey doesn’t get Kylo - but will she come to?

Daisy Ridley (EW): “She just doesn’t understand Kylo. When all she wanted was parents, why would a person who has parents do that? It’s so beyond comprehension, it’s ridiculous. So she has grief for the loss and then there’s anger. To be honest, she couldn’t understand doing something like that – let alone to your parents.” 

I have seen some people behave as if this quote is bad or somehow detrimental to Reylo’s chances as a ship. I find this very amusing, since if anything this quote presents the perfect foundation for a more positive dynamic to develop between Rey and Kylo in the future. Indeed, many of the most famous love stories start out with the heroine finding her future love interest impenetrable and impossible to make sense of - she considers him a frustrating and even offensive mystery rather than a romantic prospect. The exciting bit is what happens to develop the situation - the heroine, quite naturally, doesn’t remain baffled by the man. She learns more about him and comes to understand and even love him. Pride and Prejudice is the quintessential example of this trope, and in light of this it’s worth mentioning that Eddie Redmayne was given a scene from P&P to use as his audition piece for Kylo Ren:

Eddie Redmayne (Uproxx): “They gave me like a ‘Star Trek’ scene — or like something from ‘Pride and Prejudice.’ It was one of those films. With films that top secret, they don’t give you the actual lines. So they give you a scene from ‘Pride and Prejudice,’ but then they tell you you’re auditioning for the baddie. If you’re me, you then put some ridiculous voice on.”

In short, this is my mood right now: