#Oh god Janus is so tired guys | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

touyubesposts · 2 years ago

Text

Holy shit, The mind electric by Chonny Jash makes my Sander Sides hyperfixation hit DIFFERENT-

Especially if you look at the heart segment as Patton and Janus, The mind section as Logan and Virgil, and the soul segment as Roman and Remus.

To further my point, here are some actual lyrics from the song ((with notes by me)):

The Heart segment:

But as complacency settles, anxieties will rise

And part this Soul as Jekyll parted Hyde

Now I’m but half of a hollow man’s lies:

The love, the hate, the еmotional side

((LIKE BROO???? Janus and Patton talking about doing nothing will just make Virgil be anxious and talking about how Thomas has them seperated))

“I know I’m weak. I know that I’m vile

But sometimes that is needed to survive.”

That’s what I’ll say to rationalize

“I’m needed if we’re to stay alive.”

((Janus trying to convince himself he is needed))

And yet, here I lie with black, sunken eyes

My Mind’s consigned our sighs to a leaden void

The Soul remains tempered. I remain plied

Condemned ‘til we are both all but destroyed

((Patton sad that Logan and Virgil are convinced that emotion is not needed, convinced that this will do more bad than good.))

But I know that one plus one can’t equal two

If happiness is both our truths

Our total sum must equal one if we’re to find that golden hue

((Basically like ‘Hey, guys! We need to be apart of this whether you like it or not!’ Also trying to convince the others that happiness is the ultimate goal.))

See how The Mind tricks The Soul

Into being something sickly, dead and cold

As you feel it start to tire and fester so, so slowly

Up until the point where it will finally die

Just in time to see what could have been

((Talking about Virgil and Logan trying to convince Roman and Remus to be on their side?? Also talking about how this is a bad idea because they could pass opportunities. God, I need an animatic and I need it now-))

Do what you want, you automaton freak

No, I can no longer bring myself to care

This hollowed out vessel’s beginning to creak

So take control, let’s see how you fare

((Janus being sassy before the Parts change? Iconic.))

The mind segment:

Resident Heart is feeble and frail

A scourge to purge; due diligence is all

Silent, sad outbursts, inaudible wails

Dictate he never does as he’s told

((Logan and Virgil talking about Patton? Mad he’s doing his job and has emotion, talk about projection.)

Fathers of fathers, brothers of sons

Deterred from being what they know they can

All because Heart refuses to run

This creature hardly resembles a man

((Once again, these boys trash-talking Patton, but now also bringing the ‘sons’ into this (R&R)))

My logic is the absolute

His pity parties simply harm these chances at an apt repute:

Esteemed regard in place of mockery

((Logan talking about the others and how he needs to be listened to more))

I’m sure it seems from his point of view

That I’m a simple, cynical machine

But is it so hard to see the whole truth?

I merely seek a Soul that’s pristine

((Virgil talking about Janus and how he only wants the best for Thomas))

See how The Heart plays profound

(See how he lies.)

But the depth is insincere

A pathetic, thin veneer

All the pain, regret and fear still resound

((Just more L and V talking shit, but more specifically critiquing on how Patton and Janus both think they know best when they don’t))

Though I seem harsh in all my assessments

We each seek a life lived in the light

Yet, there lies our Heart, engulfed in resentment

Stubborn, pale akaryocyte

((Logan being like ‘yeah, I was a little harsh, but I’m not gonna fucking apologize because something needs to be done.’ Also equated ‘having emotions’ as having a ‘virus’ because that's what akaryocyte means))

The soul segment:

Call me The Soul or call me my name

Oh, label me whatever you would like

Call me your host or call me insane

If that will help you stay in line

((Basically an introduction, but also why I put Remus as the soul because he would be like ‘Yeah, I’m insane, sure, but it works, doesn’t it?’))

Fathers of fathers, I know that I’m vile

Let’s see how long it takes to murder me

Neither is wrong, yet neither is right

Condemn him to the infirmary

((Remus basically knowing his job is to be terrible and telling Patton “hey, I’m the exact opposite of you. And if you hate it so much, kill me.” While Roman is like “both sides have points, but I don’t know who to choose”))

I. Am. Me.

((You can’t tell me this isn’t all of them shouting this at the same time. They a frustrated bunch.))

See how the brain plays around

And it splits what once was whole down into three

And you fall inside a hole, inside a

Someone help me

Understand what’s going on behind my eyes

Doctor, I can’t tell if I’m not me

((The creativity twins both mad at Logan and Virgil for digging deeper into the psyche, trying to make sense of things.))

See how they fight all day

The other half won’t hear what’s had to say

It’s just the game they play here in this labyrinth maze

((Do I... Do I need to over-analyze this line? I feel like this one does the job for me))

Tridential regicide

I won’t hesitate to kill my Heart and Mind

I will abdicate these deviants sat inside

I’ll take you down in tandem when this rope is tied

((Basically both of them saying ‘this fighting is gonna kill me and, in turn, us.))

And this was a lot longer than I intended. And there are parts I didn’t even get to! Please listen! God, it's so good.

8 notes · View notes

happyk44 · 2 years ago

Text

I also want to say, and again I'm using speech to text here guys because oh my God I am so tired, but the Percy Jackson series the first series anyway ending on the whole you need to pay attention to your kids thing makes a lot of sense because Percy regularly interacts with people at camp and so he would know how it feels or how they feel anyway about being left out because at least he has his mom, but for people who stay at camp year around, and especially those who aren't claimed, they don't have anyone except each other.

But more to the point that I was going to make is that the minor gods deserve acknowledgment part always kind of felt like just tack on. It was something that Ethan said at the end that Percy was like oh yeah I guess that I have to bring that up.

It wasn't anything he felt very strongly about and I feel the whole series, while very good and well thought out, should have included them more. Like at this point the only minor god I really remember showing up in the main series and interacting with Percy and crew was Janus, who isn't even a Greek god, he's f****** Roman.

So I think it would have been more to the point at the end of the series, if throughout the rest of the books he had interacted negatively with other gods who may be point out that hey kid we're not mad at you specifically, I just really f****** hate your dad. An entire army of demigods in monsters is fine but you have to also think to yourself okay well camp half-blood also had an entire army of demigods and monsters. Luke was able to convince other demigods to join his side based on the fact that they were so lonely and angry at their godly parent for ignoring them. The parallel should have been more explicit that Kronos was doing the exact same thing with minor gods.

#happy talks pjo

5 notes · View notes

ashtonisvibing · 1 year ago

Text

normalcy au 2: eletrcic boogaloo

i'm adding the sanders sides into this cuz fuck you, i wanna add more fixations (but this'll probably be it lol) >:}

obviously, all the sides aren't physical representations of anything, they're all 100% human

virgil's a dj, which might seem weird considering their anxiety, but when they get up on stage and into their dj persona, any anxiety they had kinda just melts away with the music.

logan is a high school librarian. god, he's so fucking tired, do you know how many books have been checked out for class assignments and were NEVER returned? thanks for wasting school money, kids :}

roman is actually a theatre teacher, at the same high school logan works at! because more cute logince opportunites >:} he also runs the after school theatre group, and loves to have the students put on "crappy high school versions" of the plays (that's mostly because any actual good costumes and props and such would have to come out of his pocket).

remus is a freelance graphic artist, as well as a graffiti artist during its free time. at this point its been arrested so many times when getting caught tagging buildings there's probably a cell that's got a plaque with its name on it.

janus runs a bookstore, inherited from her grandfather. although it's had to be fixed up a couple of times (weather and all that), they made sure to keep as MUCH of the original... everything that the shop had.

patton is a daycare attendant, as well as being in college to work towards becoming a herpetologist. "oh, being in science doesn't fi-" i don't give a fuck, my guy wants to study frogs a salamanders! also pat can be smart so like-

remy, surprisingly to probably everyone reading, repairs motorcycles for a living. but might i suggest: buff as hell transfem remy. imagine it. there you go, now you're on board!

basic info:

virgil - 34 | they/them, she/her, he/him, spi/spider (can be used any time) | lovequeer queer | transneutral genderfluid

logan - 36 | he/him | gay aroflux | cisgender man

roman - 37 | he/him, she/her | gay demiromantic | bigender/princessgender/princegender

remus - 37 | it/its, gore/goreself, ra/rabid | aromantic gay | transmasc xenogender/agender

janus - 39 | she/her, they/them, he/him | polysexual queer | transfem nonbinary

patton - 35 | they/them, he/him, frog/frogself, pup/pupself | gay panromantic asexual | transmasc demiboy/pupgender

remy - 37 | they/them, she/her | aromantic asexual | transfem demigirl

relationships:

obviously, remus and roman are twins. their relationship used to be really bad when they were teens but now it's thankfully getting better :}

virgil and remus are in a queerplatonic relationship together

virgil and remy have a friends with benefits thing going on, which remus 100% supports (it sometimes goes out for one night stands itself)

logan and roman aren't together YET, but it's so incredibly obvious that they're into each other. you wouldn't believe how many times ro goes to the library just to flirt with lo-

janus and patton are married, have been for about 7 years now :}

patton and virgil are childhood friends

janus and logan used to date in their early 20s, but that came with a mutual break up a couple of years later.

[to connect this with the rest of the au]

remus and anti have been each other's one night stands MULTIPLE times. they just ended up at the same bar, after the first time it basically became "hey, you again. wanna go back to my place for a quick fuck?"

chase, remus, jackie, and virgil are weed buddies. although remus and virgil have to be kept somewhat away after it was learned they get... very touchy feely while high together- they became weed buddies after chase and virgil met at the club virgil dj's for

dark frequents janus' bookshop quite often, and they've become somewhat acquaintances with each other!

patton, cosmic, and captain all go to the same school, and are college buddies! :D

egos normalcy au

everyone's just fucking normal, average people (but still queer as fuck, but that's a given)

anti and jackie both work in tech in some way. jackie has no powers, he doesn't save anyone. anti isn't some weird glitch goblin. they probably hate each other, though. anti is so xenogender, so "anti" isn't its birth name

chase is a video game streamer. still very depressed still very divorced, but no connections to IRIS (IRIS doesn't exist)

marvin is a clothing store retailer who does magic acts for kids on the side

henrik... well, still a doctor. just the stuff with sean doesn't happen.

jameson isn't a wacky guy from the 1920's. he's either a historian or plays violin, i can't decide on which. still mute and uses sign language, obviously. ooooooooo, or maybe he crafts puppets! actually yeah, i like that more, he makes puppets and marionettes ^^

robbie is henrik's adopted child but is actually fucking alive for once

general info (age, pronouns, sexuality, gender)

jackie: 34, he/him, pansexual greyasexual (prefers to just say asexual), trans man

anti: 32, it/its xe/xim, aromantic asexual, xenogender (something related to technology and glitching)/agender

chase: 35, he/him they/them bisexual, cisgender

marvin: 35, they/them, gay lesbian (i think the term is gaybian? they like men in a gay mlm way and like women in a lesbian way), genderqueer/nonbinary

henrik: 39, he/him, bisexual, cisgender

jameson: 38, he/him they/them, gay asexual, transmasc bear (like the term bear in reference to being fat and hairy and gay is his gender)

robbie: 17, they/them he/him it/its, unlabeled/queer, demigender

in terms of relationships:

jackie and chase are still childhood friends, you can pry this from my cold, dead hands

jackie and marvin are engaged

jackie and anti are step siblings and have a rocky relationship. jackie's trying to mend it a bit but anti is not having it (trauma from your parent's divorcing can be a bitch)

chase and marvin are twins, used to have a bad relationship but through some healing thanks to their childhoods they're okay now

debating on if i wanna have henrik and chase have a friends with benefits thing currently happening. depends on if i wanna bring the iplier egos in (if i do, the fwb will be a past thing, and chase and bing will be dating)

jameson and marvin are exes but on extremely good terms (it was a mutual breakup). now jameson and anti are dating

if i decide to draw stuff for this i'll include a full fledged relationship chart. despite this honestly starting out as a joke post... as you can see i have- many thoughts-

i'll probably bring a couple'a the ipliers in, i love the goobers too much lolol

#ashton is talking #normalcy au #virgil sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders #patton sanders #remy sanders #intruxiety #logince #moceit #remy x virgil #(fuck what's their ship name-)

36 notes · View notes

greenninjagal-blog · 4 years ago

Text

Fool Me Thrice

Hey guys! My three day spoiler free band is up so now you guys get to see what I did immediately after that new video (FwSA) came out!

Summary: The aftermath of FwSA but Virgil was actually Janus in disguise the whole time. (featuring: Janus breaking down to tears and Roman being really confused.)

Word Count: 4734

Quick Taglist:@alias290 @chelsvans @coyboi300 @dwbh888 @glitchybina @faithfulcat111 @felicianoromano @harrypotternerdprincess @holliberries @jemthebookworm @killerfangirl3 @mrbubbajones @musical-nerd18 @nonasficcollection @stricken-with-clairvoyancy @the-sunshine-dims @themagicheartmailman @thenaiads @treasureofpriam @vianadraws @welovelogansanders

Read on Ao3 || My General Writing Masterlist

“DON’T TELL ME TO RELAX!” Janus yells, but the incessant bubbling in his stomach causes the edges of his lips to quirk up anyway. It’s a ridiculous, intoxicating feeling, and it’s curling around his insides like a snake coiling around its prey. He wants to smile. He wants to jump. He wants to sing.

But Virgil doesn’t do any of those things unless under threat and pressure and Janus has to keep-- he’s still pretending-- Janus is impersonating Virgil.

He’s not doing a very good job of it, and he knows. Ever since that stranger at the food court, that stranger who might be gay, that stranger whose name is Nico Flores and happens to write songs-- Ever since Nico uttered those silly, little words, and Thomas’s Heart and Creativity had swamped the controls, the more….intellectual sides were finding it hard to….think.

Everything’s fuzzy and blurry and Janus keeps trying to hit back that buzzing between his ears that comes every time that Roman and Patton team up and get lost in their contagious excitement. Virgil, certainly, is probably docile by now, flooded with the warm feelings that make it hard to panic over anything for at least another hour because he’s too busy riding that high of the “honeymoon” phase of dating-- before he remembers that it's possible that Nico might be a Serial Killer who lures his victims into relationships before slicing their throats and hiding their bodies in the woods.

He doubts that Logan’s having fun either: he hadn’t even bothered to show up when they had first spotted Nico across the cafeteria, not even to throw out that suggestion of saying “I see from your stickers we have similar interests. Let us discuss the possibility of future copulation now.” Which, of course, spells all sorts of troubles that Janus is going to have to fix later.

Later which seems to be now, because Thomas is jittery from the excitement flowing off of Roman and Patton and he is going to text Joan all about it which requires none of Janus-Virgil’s help.

It’s a flawless escape. Janus smiles inwardly, at the gooey feeling of pride in his stomach. He did it! One whole video, completely undercover!

It figures that Virgil would be the key.

Of all of them...well, Janus has always known Virgil the best. Anxiety and Self Preservation have gone hand in hand since Thomas was in diapers still. Janus grew up watching the curve of Virgil’s tense shoulders, watching the flickering of his eyes watching the entry points of the room, watching Virgil’s smirk curl and his eyeshadow bloom and--

And Janus knows Virgil hates him right now, even underneath the gooey layer of good feelings Patton is pumping through all of the Thomasphere. Janus even thinks that if he pops in to check on the little ball of nerves, Virgil will come back to his senses and start a murderous rampage on his way to stop Janus from ever impersonating any of them ever again. Which is definitely what Thomas needs right now.

Whatever. He can celebrate his victory privately.

Thomas is happy. That’s all that matters right now. The rest can wait until the good emotions in Thomas calm down and Janus can think clearly again: he’ll get out his fermented grape juice and pour it in a glass so he can feel fancy and then he’ll figure out how to deal with Logan, listen to Patton’s emotional-gushing-that-ends-in-overwhelmed-tears, entertain the Duke’s R rated fantasies with a polite smile, congratulate the Prince for his victory, and then after all that he’ll send Virgil a card via messenger dove to thank him for his...bravery.

And then he’ll go to sleep for two hours, and hopefully when he wakes back up Thomas will not be on fire.

That’s… that’s a reasonable hope, right? He’s not asking too much of the other idiot sides, right?

The buzz between his eyes sharpens for a second, as Thomas shakes his hands some more, with a grin that Janus would absolutely die for. It's almost regrettable because if anyone took a moment to look at him, to look at the way he looks at Thomas, they would see immediately what his weakness is: Janus is Self Preservation, Self Importance, Self, self, self.

He’s weak for Thomas’s smile. The gut force that drives Virgil to do things is protection, so he tries to make Thomas recognize everything as a threat; for Roman its creation, so he tries to push Thomas to achieve all of his dreams. For Janus it's Thomas’s id wants, so he does whatever it takes to keep him happy.

A smile on Thomas’s face means that Janus is doing good, that he’s doing right by Thomas. Who cares if in the end he’s the villain of the story? Who cares about him when there’s Thomas?

Thomas thanks him again-- actually he thanks Virgil, but Janus' face flushes anyway. The feeling in his stomach washes over him, leaving his knees weak and his lips smiling. Is this what being giddy is? He suddenly understands, suddenly, why Patton subscribes to that whole “Thomas is morally and objectively the best” philosophy; It’s a nice feeling, even if it makes it hard for Janus to concentrate on keeping Virgil’s eyeshadow the right color.

Thomas rushes by him-- almost close enough to touch again and wow Janus’ hands were still tingling from that; He forgot that Virgil was always able to touch their host-- and runs up the stairs to go scream in a pillow and text Joan the brilliant news and Janus takes that as his cue.

Time to wrap it up and go. (to sleep. Oh god, he can hear his bed calling for him already.)

But when he turns back to the last side in the room, Roman is pressing his knuckles to his lips and staring at the blinds in Thomas’s living room like he can set them on fire with his mind.

“Princey?” Janus asks, his own smile slipping. “What’s up?”

Roman snaps over to look at him-- to look at Virgil, whom he trusts and likes and appreciates and who is definitely not Janus at all. Despite that, the way that Roman is looking at him with furrowed eyebrows that would sing of a scowl if Patton had been doing his job just slightly not as well as he is currently, forces Janus to check to make sure he’s still wearing Virgil’s appearance.

“I can’t figure it out,” Roman says, looking like he just caught his best friends in the middle of decorating for his surprise birthday party. “Why?”

Janus squeezes his eyes closed trying to focus on what Roman was talking about. He knows that he missed at least one thing that was said in the hullabaloo all day, but he didn’t think it was something that Roman of all sides would be upset about. Why, what? Roman got the guy. What was so complicated about that?

Actually asking why is more on brand for Virgil.

For a ridiculous second Janus wonders if that was Virgil wearing Roman’s outfit and pretending to be him the way that Janus was pretending to be Virgil. But Janus is decently sure that Virgil can’t resist insulting Janus for more than five seconds at a time, and they’ve been side by side for hours now.

(And hadn’t that been nice? If Janus had just closed his eyes, he could have imagined the grateful smile Roman had given Virgil had been meant for him.)

“I don’t know what you’re on about, Ro,” Janus shrugs. “But I’m gonna go. All these good emotions are like...disgusting.” He sticks out his tongue that way that he’s seen Virgil do every time that Thomas has to eat the carrots his mom put on his plate just to sell the act, but Roman’s jaw sets.

“Why did you do that?” Roman bursts out before Janus can get all the way out, “Why? Janus!”

Janus should have run then, should have pretended that Virgil hadn’t heard him at all and let the other sides argue with each other, but his name is so new and shiny and no one ever uses it. The words vibrate through the air like needles and the next thing he knows is that he’s pinned in place, frozen, and Roman is looking very not-happy anymore.

Ha, so he knew. Looks like Janus can’t get through a video without being outed.

“I know it's you, you slimy snake,” Roman says. “Will you stop wearing Virgil’s face already! I want an answer!”

Janus’s tongue flicks in his mouth, rolling over the back of his teeth as he tries to think of the best way to handle this when all of his thoughts have to process through the molasses that is the gooey happiness Thomas is feeling and his own exhaustion.

“I have no idea what you mean,” Janus says, as blase as he can make it.

Which is….maybe not his best idea. The buzzing in his head makes the rest of the room go blurry for a second, in and out of focus and it’s so very helpful.

Roman’s face goes red, stuck somewhere between being angry and being insulted. He reaches out and Janus’ legs do that thing where they don’t work so when he throws his weight back, away, out of reach, his body goes plummeting to the foot of the stairs as well.

Roman yelps, leaning forward for a moment maybe with the intent to help him back up but Janus throws up a hand to stop him before he knows for sure. His eyelids are heavy, he realizes, and he’s tired and he really doesn’t want to have a fight with Roman right now.

“I had fun, Roman. Thank you for the... entertainment this evening.” He says, dropping the last of his stellar Virgil impression. He wonders how long he had Roman fooled, if he had him fooled at all for any point. Does he dare wonder how many of those smiles were given knowing that it was Deceit in disguise?

(He doesn’t and he resents the implication that he cares what the others think of him.)

“Congrats on wooing the boy or whatever.” Janus climbs back up to his feet and brushes imaginary dust off his tunic. Or it could be real. He’s not sure considering that he’s so tired he can’t see anything in front of him.

“You fiend!” Roman snarls, “What did you do to our Stormcloud?”

“Why don’t you go find out?”Janus suggests, with a half-assed flourish, even by his own standards, “Or better yet, don’t. In the meantime, I’ll be in my room.”

But Roman snags his arm and holds him up and Janus is acutely aware that sinking out with another side is troublesome and takes so, so much focus and energy. (And Romans touch is scalding. It’s burning. It’s white hot and Janus wasn’t aware he had been freezing before.)

“I’m tired of this game, Snakes and Ladders!” Roman says. “Tired of not knowing what you’re up to! Tired of not knowing what Thomas wants! Tired of getting backseat to self care and morality and-- and I’m Tired, Janus! Why do you keep doing this to me?!”

And hooooooo, does that strike something in Janus! The soft feelings in his chest burn right up in an anger he hadn’t even known he had been feeling. But it must have been there for a while because it boils right through him, leaving his chest smoldering and his mouth tasting like ashes.

“You think you’re tired?” He snaps, burns, blazes. There’s something in this throat, and it makes every word catch fire when it comes out of his mouth. And even Roman has enough sense to know that fire is dangerous and that he’s going to be cremated if he doesn’t step back.

“You think you’re tired,” Janus repeats, taking a step forward so that they’re nearly toe-to-toe and he can see the way that Roman’s Adam's apple bobs. “What about me, Roman? Don’t you think I’m tired? That I’m exhausted? That I know I’m going to have to sink back down and figure out what is wrong with Logan and listen to Patton and keep Remus busy and make sure that none of you morons overpower the others and drive Thomas directly into the ground? That I haven’t slept a full night since the whole start of these videos and moral dilemmas and whatever else? Every time I turn around Thomas is making another lie: to his friends, to his family, to himself! Don’t you think that I… that I…”

Roman is staring at him.

Janus’s head pounds. The room around him sways and he thinks that maybe...maybe the reason he can’t think straight right now doesn’t actually have anything to do with Patton’s elation keeping Thomas busy.

“Oh,” Janus says because he blinked and now he’s on the floor.

He blinks again and Roman is right next to him, looking concerned-- how ridiculous. Roman being concerned for him. Ha.

“Janus…” Roman’s voice is low, which makes Janus aware suddenly that everything else had been so loud all this time. He grits his teeth when Roman waves a hand and magics up… what are those, tissues? Why would he--

Oh.

Janus is crying. He reaches a hand up tentatively rubbing away the tears, and has to swallow a laugh. Oh, he's crying. When was the last time he cried? When was the last time he cried in front of someone else?

He's so, so tired. And that's the reason-- the only reason, mind you-- that when Roman scooches closer, a centimeter, an inch, a foot, and then rests his hand on Janus' shoulder, Janus doesn't push him off and immediately sink out to his room. It takes too much energy to lock a room, even his, from the others and Roman would surely follow after him and demand answers.

Roman’s touch is a shaky, changing warmth. Janus noticed it earlier when Roman had said the word “Bravery” and Janus hadn’t been able to form an actual response because he was so busy wondering if this was how all touch was supposed to feel. But now he thinks he can count every single atom that is touching him and the awareness hums in his veins in a way that shouldn’t be possible.

He sucks in an equally shaky breath and tries not to look like he’s leaning into the feeling. His stomach rolls around, twisting and churning to the point where it hurts. He might be able to blame this on a stomach bug. The other sides probably wouldn’t look farther than that. They don’t like him enough to look farther than that.

“Janus,” Roman says again, calling him by name and Janus wants to tell him to stop. He sounds like he cares and Janus knows it’s a lie. He thinks it’s a lie. He’s pretty sure it’s a lie.

It’s hard to tell right now, especially when his own inner desire is yearning for it not to be. He can’t trust himself when he’s like this. He always ends up doing something stupid.

Like sitting at the foot of Thomas’s stairs crying in front of Roman.

“Fuck,” Janus says, and laughs, like this was part of his grand master plan that definitely exists. He ignores the tissues Roman places at their knees and uses the back of his palms to get rid of those pesky, unprofessional tears. “My most humble apologies, my dear prince. Too much fun today I suppose--”

“Janus,” Roman cuts him off, and Janus wishes his sharp inhale was a little less noticeable. “Are you… Did….”

Janus can feel how Roman’s thumb is rubbing his shoulder, slow circles like a loading screen while he tries to weave together a sentence that makes coherent sense.

“Why?” Roman decides. “Why are you...why did you help Thomas meet Nico? Why did you force him to do it naturally without any lies? I thought you liked when Thomas tells lies!”

Janus snorts, which is a bad decision because his nose is runny and, god, now there’s snot all over his face, which just makes the lump in the back of his throat grow larger. He snatches up the stupid tissues and tears open the pack.

“I don’t--” Janus wipes away the snot, and tosses the tissue into oblivion. “I don’t want Thomas to lie all the time. Do you think I’m crazy, Roman? I have to manage every lie Thomas tells himself! It’s… It’s… imagine if you had to make a new video script every single day.”

Janus can see Roman’s confused look. It's adorable really, like a puppy that just got told to “Stay.” He recognizes that Janus is saying something, that Janus is talking to him, but the full meaning of the words is lost on him.

“If it's so taxing, why do you do it, then?” He asks, like it's some sort of choice and not his job.

“Why do you make video scripts? Why do you help Thomas practice his lines? Why do you take him on daydreams when he’s bored?”

“Because he asks me to,” Roman answers without a single hesitation. “Wait….”

Janus leans forward pressing his chin to his knees. His eyes close for a moment, two, three while Roman struggles to understand what Janus isn’t blatantly saying.

“Imagine if Thomas asked you to make a new video script every single day. Do you think you could say no to that?”

Roman makes a wounded noise from deep in the bottom of his soul. It resonates in the air between them, like an elephant neither of them wants to admit is there. Janus breathes in deeply, and wards off the fresh round of lovely wonderful tears that come from his lovely wonderful headache.

“I’m sorry about the court case, Roman,” Janus says. The words feel dangerous, like throwing knives and Roman flinches back, leaving the spot on Janus’s shoulder painfully freezing. “I wanted-- I wanted Thomas to do what he loved. I wanted him to stop lying about wanting to go to the callback and I thought that if I just made it so that only you could make the decision it would be easier! I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Janus breathes in, but somehow it seems that all the oxygen in the room had dissipated without their knowledge. He gasps a few times, trying to get a steady rhythm back but the white noise in his head and the itch behind his eyes keep throwing him off.

There’s laughter-- it takes him a moment to realize it's his own. Which is just great, just fantastic, just what he needed. He finally got the sordid apology out and now he’s laughing.

But Roman is looking at him not with a scowl, but with some other emotion Janus can’t quite name through his blurry vision. For a second he thinks it might be fear-- which is even more funny than the idea that Virgil had been pretending to be Roman this whole time. In the safety of Thomas’s apartment, when Thomas had just gotten the boy of his dreams, when Janus was on the ground out of secret agendas to hide, what is there for Roman to fear?

“I just--” Janus gasps one more time, ignoring the sharp pain in his chest. “Thomas deserves a win. You deserve a win. That's why I wanted to help with Nico.” He feels like his head is going to pop right off. Maybe if he asks nicely Roman will get out his sword and do it free of charge and relatively painlessly.

“So I...ha, so I spent all day playing dress up,” Janus hates the wobble in his voice. “And now I’m a day behind on managing all my work and now Patton’s going to want to talk about what happened today, and someone needs to listen to Remus and Logan is obviously not doing too well so I have to check on him-- and Virgil too even though Virgil will probably throw something at me but I have to….And then Thomas is going to need me and I have…. I have to…”

“You really… you really do all that?” Roman says in a small voice that doesn’t suit him at all. “All by yourself?”

“Well, it’s not like there’s anyone else to help, Roman.” Janus says before he can stop himself.

“I’ll help you!”

Janus freezes. Because, well.

He’s heard those words before, hasn’t he? Not all that too long ago. When the divide between dark and light was more defined and Thomas hadn’t started posting videos with them in it and Janus wasn’t afraid of the purple door in the middle of the hall.

He knows how this conversation goes all too well.

But Janus apparently can’t learn any new tricks because he still says, “No, I can do this myself.”

(“You’ll kill yourself from stress, Jan!” Virgil had yelled. “Then where will we be?”

“I have everything under control, Virgil! I don’t need any help! Just drop it, okay?”

“Thomas and the Light sides are running you ragged and you want me to pretend like it isn’t hurting you? Are you crazy? They need to stop lying so much!”

“No! I can handle this!”

“Janus!”

“Virgil!”

“I can’t let you keep doing this,” Virgil had said, “If you won’t do something I will.”

“Don’t you dare!”

But he had. And now he was a light side, an accepted side, everyone’s favorite side. And he was slowly convincing Thomas to stop lying by turning Janus into something to be feared and avoided. How quaint. How trademark.)

Roman is staring at him. Janus can feel the weight of his eyes on him, and somehow that's worse than his hand on Janus’ shoulder. It’s heavier. It’s harder to just shrug off. It means something more.

Because Roman isn’t talking. And Janus isn’t hiding.

And if the words weren’t so hard to say, he thinks that maybe Virgil was right, and he should apologize.

“Huh,” Roman says after the silence threatens to swallow them both. He clears his throat and mercifully looks away, staring at that painting over Thomas’s couch. “I didn’t think you were stupid.”

Janus hisses at him, at the idea of him. But Roman flicks his fingers.

“Oh come on, Ouroboros,” Roman says. “You handle all of Thomas’s lies, and then you’re out there looking after each of us sides as well? I think after 31 videos we can all agree that one side being entire in control of Thomas is a bad thing! So why are you still trying to do everything?”

Janus has a very good answer. The best answer.

But Roman’s elbow reaches out and nudges him and all his thoughts scatter into the air. Maybe that was intentional, but Janus can’t find the energy in himself to really be angry about it.

“I…” Janus says, “I just want Thomas to be happy.”

“So do the rest of us too, Snakecrates!-- Get it? Like Socrates?-- Not gonna lie, your way to make him happy is truly… the foulest of methods, but at the end of the day we’re all a part of him.” Roman says. “Maybe instead of trying to puppet master this you could...try working with us? Like showing up as yourself instead of using Virgil’s or Logan’s face again?”

Janus snorts again. The backs of his eyelids shoot bright red stars across his vision. “As if. None of you would listen if I did things that way.”

Roman nudges him again. “It's just a suggestion, Slitherous Snape.”

“How many of those do you have?”

“Nicknames?” Roman pauses, and Janus guesses that he’s counting on his hand. “Dunno. A lot. I never get to use them because you show up in someone else’s clothes and I don’t realize it’s you. All the more reason you should listen to me and just show up as your usual self!”

Janus must have made a noise, but his brain is too preoccupied with the fact that the carpet in Thomas’s apartment is actually really comfy and if he buries his head in his knees the room is actually dark. His headache is a dull repetitive thob, like a drum beat that if he doesn’t focus too much on becomes a noise he can fall asleep to.

“I thought you hated me.” He admits, in a quiet tone and only partially hopes that it was too low for Roman to hear.

“Fool me once,” Roman says in a soft tone, humming like it's a melody. “Shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me thrice…”

He sighs deeply.

“And I think that means we need to actually think about talking out things like adults.” Roman nudges him again, and then places his arm around Janus’s shoulders. “But not right now, when you’re half dead from exhaustion. Let’s get you to your room, Jan.”

There’s a cold feeling around both of them, washing over Janus’s muscles like a flood, as they sink down. His eyes open briefly just in time to make out his own room surroundings before Roman drops him on his bed.

Oh, it’s really comfortable. Has his body always sunk into his mattress like this?

“Get some sleep, Deceit,” Roman says.

“Wait... Logan…” Janus definitely does not whine.

“I’ll handle the nerd.”

There are so many reasons why that’s a bad idea-- Janus knows there are a bunch of reasons because he wrote them down on flashcards to study in between grieving Virgil leaving the dark sides and managing the lies Thomas tells day to day and the ones he had going on forever and the ones that sides told each other and--.

But before he can say any of that, Roman sifts a gentle hand through his hair and Janus loses the ability to think again.

(Janus really doesn’t remember when Roman gained that power.)

He curls up almost unintentionally on his bed, and Roman makes a noise that could have been a laugh, if Janus cared enough to check.

“Sweet dreams,” Roman says softly.

“W…wait!” Janus gathers the last bit of his energy, the residue from the gooey feelings Thomas was harboring, and surges after Roman before he can leave all the way. “How did you... know it was me? And not…”

“Virgil?” Roman offered. “You kept messing with the eyeshadow, Janus. He has that angsty charcoal color on twenty-four-seven. You kept changing it to purple. I mean I liked it, but that’s not his style.”

Janus frowns. “No….he has the purple when he’s happy. I know he has the purple… He only started wearing the black...when he was trying to freak out Thomas.” He sighs and settles back into his pillow. “It glows...when he’s happy…”

Janus has plenty of memories about that, too. They were some of his favorites: Virgil on Christmas morning when the prospect of presents was more scary than the idea of all Thomas’s relatives coming over, Virgil on late nights watching cryptid history shows with Remus and talking about marrying Mothman when Thomas got older, Virgil right after he first appeared to Thomas, glowing in all senses of the word because their host knew who he was.

Janus remembers being a little upset when Virgil covered it up, because it was another lie then: Virgil was hiding part of who he was and the three of them had always agreed on no lies between them.

Besides Virgil had always looked younger with the purple, looked more happy, looked more approachable. He looked like he was excited to see Janus and not like he would rip out his throat if they ended up in a room alone together.

Virgil was purple long before he had been black, and Janus thinks he might have been in love with him even before that too.

Who had he been talking to, again?

Janus gets the distinct feeling something is wrong, but his pillows are comfy, and his mattress is soft and he’s been running on fumes for far too long. He’s fast asleep before he realizes that Roman is still in his room, frowning, and wondering if that meant Virgil had never actually been happy around the Light Sides at all.

#sanders sides #Au #Janus Sanders #Roman Sanders #virgil sanders #crying #sleep deprivation #Oh god Janus is so tired guys #touch starvation #TS Spoilers #fwsa spoilers #Roman has no clue what he's doing here #anxceit #angst/comfort #then angst again #I'm only kinda sorry about it #Hey have you guys heard my new hc #for why Virgil and Janus can't stand each other #Janus is a workaholic

138 notes · View notes

patton-sanders-killed-a-man · 4 years ago

Photo

Janus: Hmm.

Logan: You okay?

Janus: Yeah, uh you know how when you wre trying to crack the phone open I searched up the victim's mother on Facebook and found out she was Christian?

Logan: Yeah…?

Janus: Weeeell What if she’s one of those, and then refuses to let me interview her because I am a guy with long hair.

Logan: Oooh, hmm I sure she won’t-

Logan: Actually, when I think about it that is a completely legitimate fear.

Janus: … I don’t want to cut my hair

Master Post

#oh geez I just realised that it has almost been two months since the last update #I know I keep using this excuse but basicly my mental health #it tanked #but I know you guys are probably tired of hearing about it so this is the last time I'm mentioning it #also this blog was totally secretly just an exsuese for me to draw a bunch of smol logans in diffrent artsyles #Also good news my college might MIGHT be able to get me an appointment so I could get diognosied with ADHD #I might be able to finally get medication for it #that would be neat #also this update was mostly an exsuese to give janus a new outfit and some other minor details #god im tired #If yall cant tell #Janus got their hair in a bun which they hid under their hat

588 notes · View notes

thelowlysatsuma · 5 years ago

Text

y’all know what? fuck it. time for headcanons

so. SO. logan, patton, and janus being the Tired Adult Friends

they are. so fucking tired

they have two brain cells that they share between the three of them in order to keep the other sides in line. patton is least often seen in possession of them, but sometimes he’ll show up with them in hand

they do “boring adult shit” for fun like go drink wine together and talk shit about the others

they’ve each had turns having to stop the other two from getting too into something and doing something monumentally stupid. janus had to stop a sleepless marathon of sherlock holmes audiobooks. patton had to disarm MANY dangerous thought experiments. logan had to prevent the great puppy heist of 2020.

the all listen to the adventure zone together. logan and janus take turns awkwardly reassuring patton when the swearing/innuendos get too much. they all get a little weepy over lucretia. patton dresses up as magnus one day and forces the other two to cosplay with him. they go as john (jan goes ALL OUT with the eye imagery) and barry (logan allegedly didn’t wanna put in the effort, but actually did some very convincing skull makeup) respectively.

they have a group chat and all silently judge each others’ texting styles

patton: check out this cool meme I saw on Facebook!

janus, looking into the camera like he’s on the office before checking out the meme he’s seen 17272818272828 times before: you’re doing amazing, sweetie; I love it

PRANK WARS!!!! but lovingly!!!

patton and logan fill janus’ room with cats. logan denies being a part of the scheme, but he was VERY excited about it. janus walks into the common room covered in cat hair and ready to murder

logan and janus bonding over art theory and shit talking famous artists

logan and janus are science buddies!! it is terrifying! do not let these two be alone together because they will Wreak Havoc!

patton: *sticks up for someone who’s hurt*

logan: 👀👀👀👀👀😳

janus: 🙄

logan walks into a room and patton starts gushing abt how happy he is to see him and janus is done with this sappy feelings bullshit so he says “wow, glad to see you too, friends of mine” and patton immediately Pouts and does puppy dog eyes and goes in for a hug

*distant explosions* *roman screaming*

logan and janus, in unison: not it

any time patton understands or references a dirty joke/swear word, janus puts a quarter in a jar. it’s half full, but nobody will ever believe him

i would say cuddle piles, but knowing these three dipshits it’s more likely that logan passed out annotating papers on the couch, patton fell asleep beside logan waiting for him to wake back up so he could say hi, and janus just flopped down on top of both of them because he honestly doesn’t give a shit anymore

they do just. the most ridiculous competitions together. patton gets a visitor’s pass to the imagination so he can whip up a wipeout course for them. logan makes them games of jeopardy. janus hosts EXCELLENT murder mystery parties

patton may be bad at most board and card games, but if you try to beat him in uno, you will face death in the face. janus finds this hilarious up until it gets turned on him

in their group chat, patton will yell at the others for being up late, in spite of the fact that he himself is also up late

okay but if you think they don’t gossip about stupid fictional crushes together then You Are Wrong

janus is just as touchy feeley as patton, but he leans more towards arms around shoulders and back claps than hugs

patton, entering the common room, hands dripping red:

janus: oh my god he finally killed somebody

logan: absolutely not. the consistency is all wrong for blood. he stuck his hands in a bucket of kool aid

patton, who’d just returned from helping dye roman’s hair: guys, could you lighten up a little?

patton and janus cry together at 3am over that one time a cornsnake curled around thomas’ arm and it was very cute.

logan and janus shit talk discrepancies in popular media, especially doctor who. patton is generally just there for the good shows and the snacks.

janus: shut up, fives. a ten is talking.

logan: we all have the same face???

god save anyone on the receiving end of the combined powers of patton’s “i’m not mad, I’m just disappointed”, logan’s “explain what exactly you think you’re doing right now”, and janus’ “why are you like this you dumbass” glares

patton makes them friendship bracelets. logan and janus both hide theirs on their person but patton knows they keep them with them at all times

patton tries to convince the entire mindscape to go as the scoobies for halloween one year. he and janus divide and conquer with the core four and the others, and together, they manage to pull it off. remus is a truly horrifying scrappy doo

logan goes through a pirate kick for a little bit and teaches the other two how to duel. patton is surprisingly good at it, and logan dies a bit inside. janus thinks all this is fucking hysterical, and appreciates it immensely

they play calvinball together once. only once.

“sincerely meeeeeeEEEEEEE” “siNCERELY MEE”

yeah don’t even get started on all the musicals they do karaoke of. logan and janus insist it was patton’s idea, which it was, but they’re filthy liars who have just as much fun as patton

janus: *turns on anaconda*

logan: *plays phantom of the opera along to it*

when they get bored they just lie on top of one another, throw wads of paper at the walls of the commons, and play word association games

they fuckin Jam Out to schoolhouse rock. don’t tell me they wouldn’t

anyways I’m back on my sanders sides bullshit, y’all. please feel free to throw some more headcanons out there

( @coconut-cluster : 👀👀��)

#sanders sides #ts spoilers #logicality #kinda #ts deceit #ts remus #janus sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #moceit friendship #logicality friendship #loceit friendship #platonic moceit #platonic loceit #platonic logicality #ts janus #ts patton #ts logan

2K notes · View notes

lilfellasblog · 3 years ago

Text

Tolerable

Summary: Virgil's been accepted by Thomas and the famILY, even after they found out his secret. But will this be too much for them to handle? Or: Virgil has endometriosis, thinks he has to hide it, and that works out as well for him as you think it will.

A/N: If you liked this, please reblog. It is the only way to help this fic reach a wider audience.

TW: Past bullying and harassment mentioned, endometriosis, menstruation, this is a sick!fic, painful cramps, unsympathetic dark sides.

Word Count: 2351

AO3 here!

Fic Masterlist here!

Virgil groaned and curled into himself. Not for the first time, he cursed the Mindscape’s sick sense of humor for not only making him the only trans Side, but also for giving him the period from hell. After researching his symptoms and checking in the Subconscious (he tried not to think about how he could see everything in there), he had discovered he had endometriosis. It certainly explained what he’d been experiencing. He didn’t even want to think about the number of tampons and pads he burned through. Alternating ibuprofen and acetaminophen could only take the edge off so much. The websites he visited suggested some, ahem, all-natural pain remedies, but Virgil was the opposite of in the mood when he was on his period. He felt tired and dizzy and light-headed and nauseous, and he always seemed to get migraines at the same time of his period because apparently God hated him personally.

He ground a fist into his lower abdomen during a particularly painful cramp that felt like his internal organs were ripping each other in half, and kept it there until the pain subsided somewhat. He wasn’t sure why, but pressing his knuckles into the spot where he felt the most pain seemed to help lessen the severity of that particular wave.

Virgil sighed, trying to figure out if he wanted to ask the others for help. He was exhausted, having dealt with this for a day already on his own. They’d all accepted him, including Thomas (thank fuck), but he didn’t know if they wanted to deal with everything that came with him being a trans guy. Yet, now that they knew, even though he’s dealt with this on his own before, being alone feels even harder.

What if they’re grossed out? They weren’t grossed out by me being trans, they seemed sad whenever I had even asked, but this is… yeah. I don’t know, I don’t want to push it. Just as he finished that thought, an excruciating pain ripped through him. He bit his knuckle and held his breath to keep from crying out.

“Virgil? You okay in there buddy? You missed breakfast, so I brought some up if you want any,” Patton offered through the door.

Virgil had to breathe through his nose to battle his nausea at the thought of breakfast food. “Thanks Pat. I’m good, just not feeling too well. I’ll be fine in a bit.” It’ll be manageable in a few days.

“Oh honey, I’m sorry to hear that! Is there anything I can do? Would soup help?”

Actually… “Yeah, I think I might be able to handle soup.”

“One bowl of soup, coming right up!”

“Thanks Pat.”

“Anytime!”

Despite his pain, Virgil smiled fondly. He’s too good for me. Before, if he’d shown any indication that he was on his period, the consequences would be more pain, some kind of humiliation, and a nightmare sequence courtesy of Remus that always lasted so long he’d bleed over.

Virgil rode out the waves of pain, unable to concentrate enough to follow Buzzfeed Unsolved, until Patton knocked on his door again.

“Virge? I have your soup,” Patton called quietly.

“Alri-” Virgil’s voice cut off as he was bowled over by a powerful tearing sensation that left him seeing stars.

“Virgil? You okay in there? Are you hurt?” Patton called, much more loudly this time.

Shitshitshit, I can’t let him see me, he’ll know I’m in pain and he’ll ask why and then I’ll have to tell him.

“I’m worried you’re hurt or unconscious, can you answer me?”

Virgil took a few deep breaths. “I’m here,” he croaked out.

“Oh honey, you sound like you’re in so much pain! Are you okay?!”

Since he wasn’t holding his breath, a pained keen left him against his will.

“I’m coming in.”

Fuck.

Virgil tried to uncurl his body, but he couldn’t find the willpower to counter the pain. As soon as Patton caught sight of him, he quickly set the bowl of soup (with crackers and cheese, Virgil noticed) on the nightstand and rushed over.

“It’s okay, I’m here. What’s wrong? You look and sound like you’re in so much pain!”

The worst of it passed, and Virgil managed to relax his body a bit. “I’m okay, I’m… kind of used to it.”

Patton’s expression darkened. “Did they hurt you again?” he asked, voice nearly a growl.

“No, nothing like that!” Virgil quickly promised. Patton sagged in relief.

“Thank goodness.” Patton frowned. “This has happened before? Do you have a stomach bug?”

Virgil thought about lying for a brief moment, but was too scared of accidentally summoning Janus to risk it. “No…”

He cursed when Patton’s puppy dog eyes came in full-force. “Is it something bad?”

Just as Virgil was about to hedge around the answer, he felt a telltale dampness. “Uh, nothing dangerous for us since we’re Sides, but I do need to go to the bathroom.”

Patton immediately scooted aside. “Okay! I’ll be here when you get back,” he reassured.

Shit. “Thanks.”

Virgil uncurled himself from his position on the bed, then carefully made his way to the bathroom. He cleaned himself up since he had bled over a bit, changed out his pad and tampon. Just as he was about to flush away the bloody water and toilet paper, there was urgent knocking at the door.

“Virgil, are you okay?!”

Virgil was a little annoyed, but knew to rein himself in. “Yeah Pat, I’m good, just about to wash my hands.”

“Sweetie, are you sure? There’s blood on the bed.”

OH FUCK.

“Um, I’ll be out a in a minute.”

Think think think think THINK!! Okay, what can I tell him? I could just fudge the truth a little bit, but that might be too close to a lie. I could just tell him I don’t want to tell him, but he’d be so sad that I don’t trust him and he deserves better than that. Shiiiiiiiiiiit.

Realizing he’d been staring into space, he dried his hands, then went out to face the music.

Patton was studying the comforter that had gotten stained, and looked up and smiled at Virgil as he emerged. “Hey Virge, I was just gonna wash this for you, is that okay?”

Virgil could feel another wave coming on. “Yeah, but you don’t have to.” Let me lie down so I don’t double over in front of you.

Patton waved him off. “Nonsense, you’re sick and I wanna help!”

SHIT. “Okay, I can help get it off.”

“Sure!”

Virgil frantically tugged at the comforter, while Patton calmly gathered it up in his arms. As soon as the comforter was off the bed, Virgil laid down and curled up, hopefully in a way that made it look like he was just lying down.

“Virgil, can I ask you something? You don’t have to answer!”

Virgil assessed Patton. Patton was looking nervous himself, biting his lip and eyes averting themselves.

“Yeah, go ahead.”

Patton took a deep breath. “Well, I know you’re in a lot of pain, you’re not feeling well, you said it’s happened before, and there’s blood that you don’t seem too worried about.” He fidgeted uncomfortably, trying to figure out how to ask. “Is there anything I can do to help with… this?”

Virgil sighed. Of course he’d figure it out. “Honestly, the soup is more than what I usually get-”

“What?!” Patton cried.

Oops.

“Um, usually I just kinda deal with it on my own?”

Virgil kicked himself for the devastated look on Patton’s face. “Oh Virge…”

“It’s fine, I don’t mind dealing with it by myself!”

“I know, but you shouldn’t have to! And you don’t have to anymore!” Patton declared. “You’re in so much pain, is that normal? Is there anything we can do to help?”

“Normal for me, yeah, and I don’t think so.”

“Normal for you? Why just you, are you in more pain than other people who get periods?”

Way to put it on the nose Patton. “I-”

“What’s this regarding?” Logan asked as he walked in.

Patton didn’t close the door, shit!! “Nothing!”

“Patton seemed to be implying that you’re in a great deal of pain-”

“WHO DARES HARM YOU?!” Roman thundered, sword already drawn.

GODAMMIT. “NO ONE. Okay, Jesus Christ. Look, I’m fine, I’ve just got the period from hell. I’m sorry you guys found out, I didn’t mean to, I’m fine dealing with this on my own, I know it’s weird and-” Virgil cut himself off at the sorrowful looks he was getting. He sighed. These guys aren’t the Dark Sides, they probably don’t think it’s weird and gross and something I’m doing to them on purpose. “Sorry. Just, I have this thing that makes this harder, I can’t think of the name because I can’t think during this, and I’m fine. I’m just miserable for a week and then it’s manageable. This is better treatment than I usually get, and now I can at least get food. Just ignore me.” Virgil cursed God as another devastating cramp chose that specific moment to be an asshole. He held his breath, but couldn’t stop from curling in on himself. Concerned Patton noises could be heard, and Logan was trying to encourage Virgil to breathe. Roman just stood there, feeling helpless.

Once it passed, Virgil unclenched and took a few breaths. “Sorry,” he panted.

“Please do not apologize. Average menstrual cramps-” Virgil winced. “-have been shown to be at a similar pain level as a heart attack, and it sounds like you experience more severe cramping. If you wish to be left alone, then we will respect that,” Logan stated, agreements coming from each of the other Sides. “But there is still the concern of unusual pain. Do you require pain medication?”

Virgil shrugged. “Yeah, it helps me not lose my mind, but it can only do so much. I’m on the max dose for ibuprofen and tylenol right now, and I’m alternating them.”

Logan frowned. “This is your pain level even with medication?”

Virgil shrugged. “Yeah, it’s this thing that starts with an “e”… shit, what is it…”

Logan’s eyebrows shot up. “Endometriosis?”

“Yeah!” Virgil squinted. “How the hell did you know that?”

“I’m Thomas’ center of knowledge. Gracious, Virgil…” Logan trailed off. “Has a TENS unit ever proven helpful?”

“A what?”

Logan straightened up. “A TENS unit administers small electrical pulses to pain points or trigger points via electrodes placed on the skin. Research, as well as personal anecdotes, have shown them to be effective in combating menstrual pain. Would you like me to conjure one for you?”

Whatever, worst thing that might happen is it could hurt worse for a few seconds. “Sure, why not.”

Logan closed his eyes, and a few seconds later a rectangular device with a bunch of wires coming out of it appeared. “Would you like me to apply the electrodes, or would you like to?”

The thought of someone touching his bare skin, especially where he was in so much pain, still scared him, even though he knew these weren’t the Dark Sides. “I can put it on.”

No one said anything as Virgil rolled over to his side and placed the electrodes where Logan instructed. He turned back over, blushing slightly and feeling weird. He could feel another bad one coming on, and he hoped that this would work. Logan handed Virgil the unit.

“There are a few levels of electricity. Since this is your first time, it’s recommended you start at 1 and see if you need to increase from there.”

Before the next bastard cramp could come to do its damage, Virgil just nodded and turned on the device, bracing himself for electrocution pain. Instead, the cramps was… not as bad? It still hurt like a motherfucker, but it wasn’t as godawful as it could be. He cranked it up a few more dials, and the pain dimmed to a level he couldn’t remember ever feeling.

His eyes widened as he uncurled and sat up, jaw slack. The pain was still there, and he could still tell that his muscles were freaking the fuck out, but the pain was down so much he could almost ignore it.

So Logan just made my life about a thousand times better. How do I let him know?

“What kind of bullshit wizard magic is this?” Nice, REAL kind of you to say after Logan literally changed your life.

Logan just did his proud little smirk of his and drew his shoulders back. “No magic involved, merely science, and,” he adjusted one side of his glasses. “logic.”

Virgil sighed, still light-headed and dizzy, but the amount of relief that flooded his body without the pain was helping him feel so much better.

Logan frowned. “If you’ll excuse me, Thomas requires my help with a business e-mail.”

Virgil looked out through Thomas’ eyes and Sanders what the HELL. “Yeah, you’d better go deal with that.”

Patton waved his hand over the bowl of soup to warm it. “Is there anything else I can get you?”

Virgil fidgeted. “Not to be a stereotype, but I’m currently willing to commit homicide for chocolate.”

In the next moment, Virgil found his lap full of his favorite dark chocolate-sea salt-almond bars.

“I should probably go too, make sure Thomathy gets the tone of the e-mail right,” Patton said regretfully.

Virgil waved him off. “No worries, go do your thing.”

“I’ll keep our brave knight company!” Roman declared.

Patton said goodbye and sank out. Roman and Virgil stared at each other.

Roman broke first. “Soooo, friendo…”

Virgil sighed, putting Roman out of his misery. “I don’t usually feel like being a people, but this TENS unit thing is really helping. I’d be down to play some video games after lunch.”

“Sounds wonderful! I’ll get the game set up!” Roman sank out with his usual flair.

Virgil snorted and shook his head. Thank god for TENS units.

He flushed as he thought to himself, Thank god for famILY.

#trans!Virgil #virgil sanders fanfiction #virgil sanders fanfic #platonic lamp/calm #could be read as pre-romantic if you want #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #thomas sanders #unsympathetic dark sides

46 notes · View notes

hydra-collector · 4 years ago

Text

in love

AO3

Ship: Intrulogical, background Royality

Characters: Logan Sanders, Remus Sanders, Virgil Sanders

TW: depression, mild panic, kissing, mild self-harm

Words: 2407

Summary: Logan is in love. But he’s not nearly ready to admit it.

"...and I mean I know we talk about it a lot, but what do you think Pavlov-"

"Remus?" Logan set his pen down from his notebook.

"Hm?"

"What does it feel like when Thomas is in love?"

Remus let his hands sink to his lap as Logan stared at his notes, almost embarrassed to ask such a question.

-rapid heartbeat

-flushed cheeks

-warmth in chest

"Well, you've been around when it happened, haven't you?"

Logan fidgeted, tapping his pen on the paper. "Well, yes, but it doesn't really affect me."

Remus laughed, grinning at the logical side. Logan blushed in embarrassment, looking at Remus.

"What's so funny?"

"How the hell would you not experience something that affects all of us?"

Logan looked back down. Remus was right. That was stupid.

Remus's face softened, and he placed his hand on Logan's for a short moment. "I mean, all of us have our own stuff. Patton gets really giddy and happy, whoever the guy is ends up being the only thing he talks about. Roman and he get really lovey-dovey, especially when my brother starts doing big romantic gestures for him. Virgil's panicking half the time, and the other half he's really chill since Thomas really likes the guy and is comforted by him. Janus is either deciding how bad or good the guy is gonna be for Thomas or trying to get him to simp. I get really gushy and obsessive and horny, and usually help with the flirting. And you... you're such a dork."

"What?"

"Not as in whale penis. You act like a complete fool, fumbling over your words and losing coherency at the slightest bit of affection Thomas gets. You'll try to come up with the best plans to seduce him or go through all the logical outcomes, but really you're just a dumbass gay. You're completely hopeless."

Logan shifted on the bed, drilling a hole in his notebook with his stare. "Well, that's not good."

"But it is! You're so dorky and lovable, sometimes I think the guy might like Thomas better if he was you. You mess up your words, or blush like he just confessed to you, or smile lovingly whenever he talks, or start noting down everything he likes to research it, and you get more affectionate with us, even if it's just a high five or leaning on someone's shoulder. You become such a dork, and you're absolutely adorable."

Logan couldn't control the heat on his cheeks, unable or unwilling to write down any more of his findings.

"I- um- well,"

Fumbling over your words.

Logan tensed up, offering only a small nod before bolting out of the room. He could vaguely process Remus's voice calling his name, but the only thing he could think about was the pounding in his chest and the flush on his cheeks.

He ripped up and burned the notebook when he arrived in his room.

Logan laid his head on the desk, close to crying. But he didn’t cry. So he was fine.

He heard footsteps entering the room, and a hand on his back. He tensed up before relaxing, and the hand patted his head a few times until he turned it.

“You good?” Virgil asked.

Logan stared at him. “I’m fine.”

Virgil pulled up the stool he kept by his desk, sitting down so he could be at level with Logan. “You’ve been acting different lately.”

Logan put his head back towards the wood. “I said I’m fine.”

“C’mon, you’ve been acting like a total dork. Staring off into space in a daydream, forgetting to do your work, even forgetting your facts when you get flustered about someone asking you about it."

Logan was tense, his nails digging into one arm. Virgil placed a hand on his shoulder, and he leaned into it, grateful for the affection.

“Hey, do you not like it when we talk about that stuff?”

Logan sighed. “I’m not incompetent.”

Virgil rubbed his hand comfortingly across Logan’s back. “Okay. I’ll tell the others to stop joking about it.”

Logan leaned towards him slightly, and he adjusted his chair to give his friend a side-hug. Virgil started messing with his hair, eliciting the tiniest of grins from Logan as he swatted Virgil’s hand away.

“There we go. There’s a smile from our favorite nerd.”

The residual smile stayed on his face as he turned his head towards Virgil.

“So who is it?”

Logan froze. He knew there was a blush creeping up on his face, and he hated that. Virgil was still grinning at him.

“No- no one.”

“It’s gotta be someone. You’re acting like a buffoon with how lovestruck you are.”

“I- I’m not!”

“I can see it, c’mon, admit it.”

Logan’s heart rate was increasing as he dug his nails into his skin, turning his head to the desk again. “I- please, I’m not-”

“Logan, I can still see you blushing. You’re a lovestruck fool.”

No, no, no, no no-

“Virgil-”

“Come on- ”

“ Will you shut up?!? ”

He took a deep breath, pressing his head against the wood hard. There were deep nail indents in his arms, and his back was tense and stiff.

“I’m sorry, Virgil, that was… unnecessary.” He had to force the words out.

“...Sorry, Logan.”

“Thank you. I’d appreciate it if you would leave.”

He heard the chair move back to its position, and Virgil’s footsteps recede. Logan let the tension fall from his shoulders, and it felt as if there were tears pricking at his eyes. But he didn’t cry.

He stayed there for a long while, thinking about the list he would need to make to fix his friends’ view of him.

“Hey nerd!”

Remus’s voice, his lovely, comforting voice, entered the room.

“You look like you’re dead. Or dying. You’re too stressed.”

Remus placed his hands on Logan’s shoulders, apparently in an attempt to massage them. God damn Remus’s knowledge of anatomy.

It felt nice.

He ran over his plan in his head, not crying. Not anywhere near crying. There couldn’t be tears in his eyes, because it didn’t matter. He didn’t care.

“Leave.”

Remus’s hands retracted, and Logan could feel droplets of water fall onto his arms. He held back the chokes and sobs with everything he had.

“Oh. Okay.”

The pained sound of Remus’s voice only caused more tears to fall. He wanted to go crawling back to his footsteps. He heard them getting faster as they left, and his chest was shot with pain when he heard a sob, one single, awful sob as Remus headed into the hallway.

Logan couldn’t hold back the rest of his tears, the sobs that escaped his throat. He should’ve never started talking to Remus in the first place.

He should’ve never let himself care.

Logan avoided Remus at all costs. He’d nearly run whenever he saw him in the room, make up excuses if Remus said his name, even though his heart jumped whenever he heard it. Remus must hate him at this point. And you can only love someone who hates you so much.

This would eventually go away.

He missed Remus. He missed his big smile, his ranting voice, his quiet voice, his touch. He so desperately wanted to hug him, say it was all a lie, his avoidance, and be friends again. He wanted to hear the “I love you,” whether it was platonic or… not.

But he couldn’t.

Because when he would go back, he’d fall harder. And maybe it was a fear of rejection, maybe it was his serious persona, but maybe…

He didn’t deserve it.

Logan had been in his room all day. He stayed in his room most days, everyone was getting worried about him. Patton kept trying to convince him to come to dinners, but those were with Remus, so he ate in his room. Janus kept telling him it wasn’t healthy, but it wasn’t like he wasn’t showering. Virgil noticeably avoided him occasionally, but for the most part vocalized his fear that there was something really wrong. Logan wasn’t sure how bad to judge his situation. Roman tried to either force him out or guilt trip him into hanging out with them. He knew they were just trying to help, but it was quite irritating.

Remus…

Remus, at least in the beginning, would come in, say a sentence or two, asking Logan if he wanted to talk. When he didn’t get a response, when Logan paused his typing to force tears back into his eyes. Remus’s voice was so small and soft, so anxious and hurt.

And it was Logan’s fault.

He laid on his bed, staring at the ceiling. This felt pointless, all the work he was doing. He was just tired, and hurt, and he hurt other people, and he was useless. He wanted Remus to come in with his new idea or fact, use Logan’s chest and stomach as a soft pillow or table for his messy papers.

But that was a stupid desire.

“Logan.”

He turned his head vaguely towards the door, where an annoyed looking Virgil stood. He awaited Virgil’s continuation, as he wasn’t going to prompt it himself.

Virgil trudged over to the bed, grabbing Logan’s arm and pulling him off of it.

“Hey!” Logan scrambled not to fall on the floor, to no avail.

“You’re depressed, come on.”

“I’m not-”

“Logan, I really don’t wanna have this argument. We’re worried about you. Remus is worried about you. And we’re worried about Remus, and you should be too.”

Logan adjusted his position to sit against the bed. “Remus doesn’t care about me.”

Virgil snorted, joining him on the floor. “You really think that?”

Logan continued staring at the floor.

“He’s head over heels for you, L. And now he thinks you hate him.”

Logan curled in on himself a little, tensing.

“Why are you so keen on avoiding him anyway?”

Logan considered his response for a moment. On one hand, he didn’t want Virgil to laugh at him. On the other… he didn’t want Remus to keep getting hurt.

“...I love him.”

“Well, yeah, but why’s that making you avoid him?”

“I…”

Maybe he didn’t even really know.

“I’m not supposed to feel. I don’t want to. And Remus, well… he makes me feel a lot of things. Things I don’t understand.”

He took a glance towards Virgil, who had turned his head towards the ceiling.

“Yeah. I don’t think anybody really does. I sure don’t. Roman and Patton make it look so easy, but it took a long time for them to get there. You remember, right? How Patton got so flustered he couldn’t even talk around Roman. And then he’d just choose his target to gush about Roman to.”

“It’s just… Remus told me that when Thomas is in love, I get really stupid and unorganized, and then you said that, and… if being good enough for Thomas involves-”

“ What ?”

Virgil’s tone sounded aggressive, and Logan turned to look at him anxiously. “Did I-”

“Logan, you’re already good enough for Thomas. You don’t need to be completely emotionless. Plus, logic often relies on how Thomas feels. Sure, Thomas might be a little more awkward than usual, but there’s nothing wrong with that. And if you tell Remus how you feel, it’ll rid you of the negative effects on Thomas faster than repressing your emotions and staying in your room until you’re completely depressed.

“Plus, if you don’t tell him, I will.”

“Virgil!”

“He’s been crying for the past three days, Logan.”

Logan sighed, leaning against Virgil and closing his eyes. “Thanks.”

Virgil wrapped his arm around him. “Now get the hell out of your room.”

Logan took a deep breath, trying to calm himself before heading to Remus’s room. It wasn’t too far down the hall from his own. His heart beat fast as he knocked on the dark green door, covered in scratches and unidentifiable fluids.

He heard a soft sound come from inside, something that put a pang of pain in his heart. He got no response other than muffled cries.

“...Remus?”

The sound immediately stopped.

Remus opened the door to reveal his disheveled look. Messy hair, red eyes, and a costume that looked like he’d tried to rip it up.

“Are you- do-”

“I’m sorry.”

Remus hesitated, staring into Logan’s eyes.

“I’m so, so sorry.”

Logan held a hand out, desperately hoping Remus would take it.

He did.

“I never… I never should have made you feel like I hated you. It’s… it’s torture to hear you feeling negatively at all.”

Remus was crying, a wavering smile growing unsteadily on his face. He came closer, letting go of Logan’s hand and reaching his arms out in a huglike motion. Logan accepted it, shoving himself towards Remus’s half extended arms. He held on, tight, pushing his fingers through Remus’s hair, eyes shut tight.

“I- I should’ve helped you, L. I knew you were having a hard time, and I ignored it. And- and maybe you wouldn’t have felt so bad, this is- this is my fault-”

Logan held on tighter. “No. No it’s not. It’s not your fault that I was an asshole and avoided you and made you think I hate you, especially because… I don’t. At all.”

Logan took a deep breath. “I love you. Romantically. And I’m finished with telling myself I can’t be.”

Remus dug his head into Logan’s chest, a grin spreading on his face. He started laughing, almost, or perhaps he was just crying. “I love you too.”

Logan smiled, stroking Remus’s hair as he placed a kiss to his head. Remus leaned back, his addictive touch gone from all but Logan’s hands. He was led properly inside Remus’s room, and the door was shut so Remus could lean up to kiss him.

It was surprising at first, but as he relaxed into it, pressing back. He wrapped his arms around Remus’s waist, pulling him closer, holding him tighter. The beating of his heart couldn’t be ignored if he tried.

Finally, and reluctantly, they broke. Remus put his head in Logan’s chest again, a content smile on his face. Logan loosened his grip, relaxing into the hug.

“We’ll have to try that again sometime,” Logan mumbled into Remus’s hair.

Remus placed a small kiss between Logan’s shoulder and neck, the closest spot he could reach.

“Well… is there any problem with doing it again now?”

252 notes · View notes

mtherhino · 3 years ago

Text

One side, Two lives

Chapter 14

He must have some kind of weakness.

First Previous Next

Warnings: panic attack, talk of swords, talk of eating disorders but that’s it so enjoy!

Virgil sat on his bed, curled up and covered in his favorite blanket. The former dark side had woken up a while ago in Janus’s room but almost immediately went back to having a panic attack. Before the others could stop him the panicking side sunk out and back into his room. The former dark side immediately ran to the farthest corner of his bed and covered himself with his favorite things to try to comfort himself. He had heard one of the others come and knock on his door but eventually they gave up on making him come out and just said that if he needed them they would be in Janus’s room.

The former dark side tried to control his breathing but it just wouldn’t work! It’s all my fault. Princy was suffering and starving himself and I did nothing! God and now he’s- he’s. Vigil sobbed into the blanket, not even being able to finish his thoughts. He cried till the fabric was damp with his tears and his throat stung from the sobs.

After Virgil was able to somewhat pull himself together he looked over at the clock. It was now 1 am. He had been crying for an hour. The light side gave a hallow laughed.

“I’m so freaking pathetic.” The anxious side said to himself as he slowly got off his bed, his entire body still shaky from his panic attack. He leaned on his desk and chair as he slowly made his way to his bedroom door.

He listened for a second to make sure their was no one outside before he slowly opened the door, careful not to make a sound. The former dark side scanned the hallway for anyone and when he saw that the coast was clear he started walking to the darks side of the mindpalace, refusing to look at the black door behind him. I guess now I know why his door was so close to the dark side, Virgil thought sadly. He continued on his way until he eventually got to Janus’s door. In any other situation the anxious side wouldn’t even consider getting help from the snake, but right now he couldn’t give a dam about any old grudges.

Virgil knocked on the yellow door twice and waited. He could hear some shuffling and people discussing on the other side. Oh, they must think I’m P- him. Virgil thought tiredly, not quite being able to say the name.

“Its me guys, Virgil.” The former dark side said. The talking on the other side quieted down a bit but the door remained shut. The short side sighed.

“Logan shouted “falsehood” at me for the first time when we had our debate about Thomas’s anxiety.”

There where some clicking sounds and the door creaked open the slightest bit, one lock still clearly in place. Virgil saw a glimpse of Janus’s snake like eye before the door shut once again and the last lock was undone. In a heartbeat the light side was pulled though a doorway by a gloved hand before the owner of said hand closed and started to re lock the door.

“Sorry about that Virgil, but you can’t be too careful right now.” Janus said as he turned back around to face the frankly rather frazzled side. Virgil shook his head.

“No I understand, things, you cant, you can’t fully trust anyone right now.” Logan came up from behind him and gently put his hand on his shoulder, trying very hard not to frighten the purple side.

“How are you doing Virgil?” The logical side said softly. The shorter of the two turned his head and looked back down at the ground.

How was he doing? How was he supposed to answer that? His eyes where red and his throat was sore from crying for an hour. His stomach felt as if something had clawed at it from the inside out. And not to mention that he was still wrapping his head around the fact that his crush was de-. Virgil shook his head and looked at Logan dead in the eyes. The taller of the two saw how tired those eyes where, the red around the edges, and the absolute grief that was written across Virgil’s face. The logical side frowned in understanding.

Logan was never been very good at empathy, but he could understand how the former dark side felt, he could sense similar feelings in himself that he absolutely refused to acknowledge right now.

“Come on, I think it would better for you to sit down.” Virgil nodded and followed the other as he guided him to sit down. Janus who had been quiet the whole time sat down next to the others. There was a silence that covered the room. Not a peaceful or awkward one, but one of sadness and uncertainty.

Virgil sniffled slightly and tried to take some deep breaths. He was still feeling the after effects of a panic attack and it was annoying him greatly. Once the bubbling feeling of anxiety subdued to a more reasonable amount the light side decided to speak.

“So whats the plan?” The youngest of the awake sides asked. Janus and Logan turned to face him and then looked at each other. Finally the deceitful side sighed.

“We haven’t been able to think of anything yet. Its been, a lot to process.” Virgil did his best to hide his scowl. Hard to process? You hated Roman and practically called Remus evil and your saying its hard for you?! What about those of us that actually knew them? How do you think its been for us?! Virgil couldn’t help the words that came to mind. He knew it was an unfair accusation. Janus had always been close to Remus so this could not be easy on him. And even though he may not have liked Roman, Virgil doubted that the yellow side had ever hated the prince in question. Doesn’t matter much now though does it. Virgil thought to himself as his scowl turned far sadder.

“We can’t leave Pride to do as he pleases.” Logan said, his eyes narrowing. “He’s too powerful since,” the logical side looked away, “since he has full control of the imagination.” A silence fell over the table. “We can’t trust him after what he’s done.” The blue side said as he wiped away a few tear that started to form by his eyes.

“I agree.” Janus spoke up. “But we don’t know his weaknesses or if he has any at all.” Janus took a deep breath, his posture stiff with uncertainty. “I’m, curios,” the deceitful side looked up, “should we tell Thomas? He may be able to help us over through the king.” Virgil knew his eye shadow must have darkened with how much panic he felt at that suggestion.

“No!” The former dark side nearly shouted. The others turned to him in surprise. “We should not tell Thomas about this until we figure out a solution! Hell just stress out and feel guilty which will only give Pride more power” Virgil said. Janus realized that he was right, if Thomas was in a bad mind set Pride could easily take advantage of that opportunity.

Janus sighed. “Your right, I apologize.” The dark side couldn’t help the thought that those words could have stopped this situation from happening. If he had simply admitted he was wrong earlier, maybe, maybe things could be different. As silence fell over the table a ruffling sound came from the back of the room. The sides looked over too the bed where Patton was now sitting up with a sleepy yet troubled look on his face.

“What, what happened.” The moral side said as he looked around the room. When he realized he didn’t recognize it his eyes grew wide with slight pain. “Where the flap jack are we?” Janus got up and quickly walked over to the confused side and sat down next to him, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t worry, where in my room now. You passed out after what happened in the living room.” The yellow side explained. The father figure only looked more confused before realization dawned on his face. His posture fell with guilt as he only said “oh” to the other side.

The moral side felt beyond horrible about what was happening. One of his kiddos has been hurting this entire time and he didn’t even notice it! Worse than that when Roman needed him most he sided against him. He was the reason. He was the reason that Roman and Remus where gone.

Patton had always been good at hiding it when he wanted to cry, so the moral side didn’t even make a sound as tears started slipping down his face. The others in the room could tell how distraught the moral side was and simply let him cry. They didn’t know how to comfort him, and they were all pretty sure that if they tried to they would end up crying two. So they let the fatherly side cry, the only sound in the room being the occasional sniff. After a few minutes of this Patton tried to pull himself together and wiped away any tears left on his face.

Janus decided it was about time to break the silence.

“We need to figure out what to do. We’ve already decided that getting Thomas involved would be a bad idea, but none of us are powerful enough to stand against Pride. Even if we all worked together I’m not sure if we could beat the full force of creativity.” The shortest side said. The others considered his words. They were all a bit surprised when Patton was the first to speak.

“He can’t be all powerful though, right? He must have some kind of weakness.” The moral side said. Logan hummed while he put his hand on his chin in a thinking matter.

“You have a point Patton. All sides have sort of weekends, even someone as powerful as Pride can’t be invulnerable.” The others considered the blue sides words.

“So the real question is,” Janus said to the group, “where would Pride hide his secrets.”

“Well he considers himself a king, so maybe in some king of vault or castle?” Logan said. The logical sides words made Virgil look up.

“The imagination! That was pretty much,” the dark side’s voice caught in his throat for a minute as he said the next part, “that was pretty much Roman’s and Remus’s kingdom right? Plus’s its where Pride comes from, so if he where to hide something-”

“Then he would hide it in a place he has power!” Patton said, accidentally cutting Virgil off. He gave the younger side an apologetic look afterwards. Suddenly Pattons face fell once more. “But how would we even get to the imagination? Non of us have even been before.”

Logan looked slightly embarrassed now, but the others weren’t sure why until he spoke.

“Actually, I have ventured into the imagination once before.” Virgil looked at the logical side in surprise and raised an eyebrow in a questioning manner. Logan fidgeted with his hands.

“Remus took me to study some of the animals there.” The logical side said softly.

Virgil put a hand on the blue sides shoulder and gave him a look of understanding. The former dark side knew that the two liked each other as something more than friends, he was certain that talking about the twins was no easier for Logan than it is for him. The logical side gave the shorter a grateful smile and continued.

“We used the trap door that was in his room, it apparently led to his own castle, but,” Logan took a steadying breath “we obviously can’t use that way now.” The sides all seemed to loose a bit of hope at that. “However,” the logical side continued, “Remus did mention that Roman had his on gateway, he said it was some kind of closet door or mirror if I remember correctly.”

The anxious side smiled softly at that, it seemed just like his prince to make his gateway to the imagination like something out of a fairytale. Though I’m pretty sure our situation is the furthest thing you could get from a Disney fairytale, he thought to himself.

“So our best bet to get to the imagination to hopefully find something that can defeat Pride is a closet or mirror in Roman’s old room?” The purple side said, because all of that sounded like a lot of risk based off of little research.

“And lets not forget, that room is now inhabited by the king himself, so we would have to get past him two.” Janus added, not helping Virgil’s anxiety at all.

“Yah, that two” the former dark side said while rolling his eyes trying to hide his fear. “This sounds like a pretty impossible task Lo.” The logical side sighed.

“I suppose your right, but we don’t have a lot of other options.”

“What if one of us distracted Pride so that the others can go find a way to stop him permanently.” An uncertain voice said. All the sides turned to Patton with either eyes of surprise or looking completely mortified. The fatherly side looked like he wanted to be anywhere else as he stared at the ground while the others looked at him.

“I mean, Pride hates me right? He has every reason to, I’m the reason things went so wrong in the first place. Maybe if I get into some sort of fight with him, it will distract him long enough for you guys to get to Roman’s old room.”

Janus put a hand on the moral side’s hand causing the other to look at him.

“I don’t mean this in any offensive way, but Pride would tear you to pieces if you tried to make him angry” there was no protest to his words from anyone else in the room.

“Patton does make a good point though. We would need a distraction to get to the imagination without Pride noticing.”

“Then I’ll fight him.” The deceitful side said while he stood up and grabbed his cane where it laid next to the doorway. Patton stood up right after him, a look of panic in his eyes.

“Ok I know that I probably won’t last very long against someone as strong as the kings, but you won’t last much longer alone either.” Patton said, using his best this-is-stupid-and-will-end-badly voice to try to get Janus to listen to him. The deceitful side’s face hardened.

“I know that I won’t be able to beat him, but I should be able to hold him off long enough for the rest of you to get to the imagination to find a way to stop him for good.” The other two sides in the room where standing as well at this point.

“I’m coming with you.” Patton said. Before the yellow side could protest the father figure spoke again. “I’m not great at fighting, I know that, but with the both of us fighting we can buy more time for Virgil and Logan.” No one was really able to argue the moral side’s logic. Eventually Janus sighed.

“Fine, since your so set on it well fight together.” Patton gave the snake like side a soft smile that said a lot more than most words ever could.

“And while we’re fighting the king,” Patton side before turning to the logical and anxious side, “you two will sneak into his room and get to the imagination.” The others nodded. Virgil smiled a little bit. Sure, the plan seemed ridicules and doomed to fail, but at least they had one, and Virgil was going to do his best to make sure it succeeds.

A little while later

After the others tried to get as ready as they could to both face Pride and whatever they would find in the imagination, Patton and Janus walked to Pride’s door. The other two where hiding in Virgil’s room so that they would be close by. Janus looked over at the moral side, and after getting a small nod, nocked harshly on the door. Immediately Pride seemed to appear in the doorway, towering over the older sides.

“What do you two want?” Pride said with a sneer. The king in question had been working out the perfect way to manipulate, ahem, convince, Thomas that he was a new side entirely and not just half of one.

Janus raised his cain and got to a fighting stance, Patton soon following with a more defensive look to his posture.

“Where here to declare a challenge. You against us, if you win we won’t try to fight you ever again and will accept you as the king of the mindscape, but if we win,” the snake like side said with a hiss, “you have to surrender and never even introduce yourself to Thomas.” Pride glared at the sides before him, the ones that had made his life hell, and leaned down so that he was at eye level with the shorter of the two.

“And just why, would I ever trust a dirty lying snake.” The king said as he returned to looking down at the light and dark sides. Before he could say something that might make their plan go off the rails, Patton stepped past the yellow side.

“I give you my word as morality, I hate lying right? If I give you my word, then you know I won’t betray it.” The fatherly side said, trying his hardest not to look upset. He truly did hate the idea of going back on his words, but this was for Thomas, for everyone. He had to do whatever was necessary to right his wrong.

Pride hummed thoughtfully before grinning as if he had already one the fight.

“Deal” The king said, he then snapped his fingers and they reappeared in the living room, though with a wave of his hand Pride transformed the area into something that looked much more like an arena. Pride summoned his golden long sword, Patton summoned his shield. I have a feeling this won’t end well, was the moral side’s only thought before he and Janus charged at their foe.

Meanwhile Logan specifically waited twenty seconds after he heard the snap of teleportation before he peaked outside of the room. After quickly scanning the halls, he gestured to Virgil that it was safe and they both left the room. They carefully approached the black door, hearing sounds of a fierce battle the entire time. I hope that their ok, the purple side thought to himself.

The logical side carefully turned the doorknob and was relived when it opened with ease. It would have been very bad if it was locked, we should have accounted for that in our planing, Logan thought. They entered a room that was without a doubt beautiful, but also oddly lifeless. The bed, desk and even the walls looked like they came from a storybook, but other than those few items the room was empty. The two sides walked into the room with caution, the lack of life giving them an uneasy feeling.

They started to explore the room to find a doorway to the imagination. Virgil went over to a windowsill that was on the other side of the bedroom, blood red curtains covering up any light that may come in. Though the thing that the anxious side found interesting was not the actual windowsill, but what sat on it. For right in front of him sat a larger than average, slightly cartoony, Venus flytrap. It seemed to be facing away from him, if a plant could even do that, so Virgil reached out to gently touch one of the leaves.

He was rather surprised when the plant gave un indignant squawk and snapped at him.

“Ahh!-” Virgil screamed as he jumped away, Logan covering his mouth as soon as he started to scream.

“Virgil! We have to be silent if we don’t want to be noticed!” The logical side said in a rushed whisper. The shorter of the two pointed in frustration at the now growling plant since his mouth was still covered. Logan slowly let him go and they both took a few steps forward to inspect the angry potted plant.

The Venus flytrap soon stoped growling and starting whimpering more like a puppy as the strangers approached. After its owner that wasn’t its owner nearly cut him in half with a sword, Alexander was much more wary of people.

Virgil, surprisingly, took a step forward and carefully pet the small plant. The carnivorous plant soon calmed down and started to almost purr at the pets. The purple side took a closer look at the pot and saw that ‘Alexander’ was written on it in red paint. Huh, I guess this is the ‘pet’ I sometimes heard Princy talking about, the anxious side thought.

“Apparently his name is Alexander, kinda neat right Lo. Logan?” Virgil asked again when he didn’t get a response. He looked over to his friend and saw that he was facing away from him, staring at something on the wall. Virgil walked up next to him to see what he was looking at and his anxiety skyrocketed when he saw.

They found it. Roman’s old door to the imagination, but it wasn’t anything to celebrate sadly. The mirror that once hung there was shattered into a million piece, clearly beyond repair. The door itself was untouched, however a myriad of golden chains covered the door, all of them connecting to a lock with no keyhole.

Virgil had to step back and sat on the bed in despair. Their planing, Patton and Janus fighting and probably getting beaten to a pulp, was for nothing, because there was no possible way to open that door. Both sides immediately felt the strength that radiated from the chains as soon as they saw them. It would take a lot more power than any of them had to break them.

Logan growled.

“God dammit! This was our only chance!” The logical side said, feeling like he wanted to break everything that was in the room. However, before he could grab something, a sound of whimpering caught his attention. He turned his attention to the plan- Alexander, as Virgil called it. The plant in question seemed to be doing its best to point at the desk.

The logical side looked at the desk in confusion before he noticed what he assumed Alexander was pointing at. On the desk sat a box like object that was being covered by a piece of black velvet fabric. The dark blue side walked over to it, catching the purple side’s attention. Logan looked at Alexander and pointed at the covered object, the flytrap giving a happy squeak. Still highly confused and now quite a bit curios, he uncovered the object. Now both sides could see that it wasn’t a box, but in fact a glass terrarium.

And inside, sat a little green octopus.

Tag list:

@lovelivingmydreams

#my writting #sander sides #roman sanders #pride!roman #octopus remus #remus sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #prinxiety #patton sanders #deciet sanders

15 notes · View notes

hippityhoppitygetofmyproperty · 3 years ago

Text

I am gay. And, I’m new in town

Characters: Virgil, Janus, Patton, Background Roman

Ships: Platonic Anxceit, Platonic Moceit, Background platonic Prinxiety

Warnings: Small anxiety spiral in the beginning

AU: Human

Word count: 686

Ao3 link

Yes, the title is from a John Mulaney bit. Janus’ name is Dee for the time being for a reason. This is the first part of a series, hope you enjoy!

“Finally.” Virgil sighed as he sat down his last box.

He just moved two and a half hours away from his hometown, his dad left a while ago after checking on him and helped move the heavy stuff, and he was tired. His friend, Roman, asked why he would move so far away from home and into a small town he’s never heard of. The truth was he really didn’t even know himself. Sure it was for a job that paid really well, but he knew no one there and wouldn’t be able to see his friends that often and he was far from any sense of normalcy and oh god why did I even do this-

His thoughts were cut off by his stomach growling. A quick look at the clock would show that it was a bit past 7, and he didn’t know any of the food that was offered in the town.

Well, let’s hope no one will talk to me.

As he stepped out of his new home and started to walk into the main part of town, someone tried to wave him down.

”Well maybe he’s trying to get someone else’s attention.” Virgil thought to himself.

“Hey, you, with the purple hair!’

”Fuck.”

The guy walked up to Virgil. “Hey, you’re new in town right?”

“Uh- Yeah, how’d you know that?”

The stranger smirked. “Small town, remember? Everyone here knows each other, or at least has seen everyone.” He held out his hand. “You can call me Dee, do you mind if I join you.”

“Virgil.” He said as he shook the extended hand, “And only if you know a good place to eat.”

“Well, you’re in luck. I know a good place that you can get a discount at.” Dee said, starting to walk away. Virgil decided to follow.

“And why’s that?”

“Because I have a friend that works there that gives me a discount, and will most likely give you one too if I bug him a bit.” Virgil hummed in response and Dee continued after a pause. “So, Virgil, may I ask why you came here?”

Virgil shrugged. “Oh, you know, new sights, new people, new-“ Fuck, what was another thing? ”… trees.” Dammit.

Dee gave him a teasing look. “Trees?”

“Shut up!” Virgil said as he shoved Dee, getting an amused chuckle from him.

“But seriously, why do you come here”

“I found a job here that pays better than where I’m from.”

The conversation lulled into a comfortable silence for the rest of the walk until they came up to a building that says Patty-Cake Diner. Dee walked quicker to get to the door and open it.

“After you.” He said as he gestured for Virgil to head inside.

Inside the diner felt very comfy, like he was back home, it was a little smaller than what you would expect but then again it is in a small town.

“Hi, Dee!” A voice called from somewhere that got Virgil’s attention.

“Ahh, Patton, just the man I wanted to see!” He gave the friend a hug. “I hope you have a seat saved for me, and this time I’ve brought a guest with me.” He said as he gestured to Virgil, who was standing behind him.

Patton’s eyes practically lit up when he noticed Virgil. “Hi, I’m Patton, as you might’ve heard!”

“Virgil.” He said as he shook Patton’s hand.

“Well, I’ll go ahead and get you guys a seat, give me one second.” And with that, the jolly man went to the back of the small diner.

Dee turned to Virgil. “I hope you don’t mind me joining, it would be easier to get that discount if I’m with you.” He turned back forward and said just barely loud enough for Virgil to hear, “And maybe I want to get to know you some more.”

Before Virgil could respond, Patton came back and brought them to a table. Virgil looked at Dee sitting across from him and thought that maybe this move wasn’t such a bad thing.

He had a feeling he would like this small town.

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #janus sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders mention #cherry writes #human au #platonic prinxiety #platonic moceit #platonic anxceit #for now at least

15 notes · View notes

i-am-bitterly-jittery · 4 years ago

Text

Five times Virgil sat on a surface not meant for sitting (and one time he didn’t) pt 6/6

Rating: Teen to be safe

Word count: 829

Pairings: none

Warnings: non-graphic, non-sexual nudity (it’s Remus)

+1. Thomas

That’s the last time I eat tacos before bed, Thomas thinks to himself as he descends the stairs to get to the kitchen. He had trouble getting to sleep earlier, and then once he’d finally fallen asleep, he’d had the weirdest dream, which resulted in him startling awake again. He’s not sure what time it is, he hadn’t checked, but he decided to take Patton’s suggestion of a warm glass of milk.

Thus why he’s going to the kitchen at dark o’clock in the morning.

Normally, if he’d been going for a glass of water, Thomas would have left the light off, trusting himself to find a glass and the sink in the dark. But since he’s after warm milk, he decides that it’s best to turn a light on. He doesn’t want to burn himself, after all.

So Thomas switches on the living room lamp.

And promptly screams.

“What in the name of Adam Driver are you screaming about?” Roman’s voice demands from his right, causing Thomas to scream again.

After he’s calmed down from his second scream, Thomas realizes that he must have summoned the Sides with his first scream, seeing as how his living room was now full of… well himself, really.

“Thomas,” Logan reprimands from his place next to the stairs, looking barely awake, dressed in only his unicorn onesie and no glasses. “It is incredibly early in the morning, you should not be awake yourself, let alone waking the neighbors with your unnecessary screaming. I thought you were getting a glass of milk and then heading back to bed.”

“Yeah, Thomas,” Virgil drawls from the couch, as if his unexpected presence wasn’t what made Thomas scream in the first place. “People might think you’re being murdered and then they’ll call the police and then you’ll have to talk to the police to tell them that there’s no murder going on.”

“Wouldn’t that be fun though?” Remus asks enthusiastically. Other than Virgil, he seems the most awake, standing naked and proud in the middle of the living room.

“I’m sorry,” Thomas apologizes, looking between his Sides that he had accidentally woken up. Logan seems to be fully utilizing the banister to keep himself upright. Roman‘s face is covered in stark white moisturizer, and he’s wearing those fancy silk pajamas like Thomas had always imagined rich people to sleep in. Patton is sitting by the window in his car onesie with the hood pulled up, obscuring his face. Actually, he might just be sleeping. Janus is definitely sleeping, having taken Virgil’s usual spot since Virgil isn’t currently using it, curled up on the stairs in a nightgown like Ebenezer Scrooge. Remus, as previously stated, is standing, wide-awake, in the middle of the living room, wearing only a nightcap that looks like it goes with Janus’ gown.

And Virgil is on the couch, fully dressed, because he’d been sitting there in the dark when Thomas came downstairs.

“I didn’t mean to summon you guys, I just wasn’t expecting to find Virgil on my couch in the middle of the night.”

“Apology accepted,” Logan says before sinking out, too tired for anything more.

“Yes, if no one needs me then I’m going to go finish my beauty sleep,” Roman declares with an overly exaggerated yawn.

“You could sleep for a hundred years and you’d still be the ugly twin!” Remus yells after him. “Well this was disappointing,” he informs Thomas. “Call me if something juicy happens.”

And then he’s sinking out, too. Leaving Thomas with just Virgil and two sleeping Sides.

“Um, should we wake them?” Thomas asks, gesturing to Patton and Janus.

“Nah,” Virgil waves him off. “They’ll sink out on their own soon enough, it’s hard to stay in the real world when you’re unconscious.”

“Oh, okay.”

Thomas stands around awkwardly for a minute before deciding to continue the conversation.

“Why were you sitting on my couch in the middle of the night? Don’t you have a couch in the Mindpalace?”

“Yeah,” Virgil shrugs. “But I think more clearly when I’m on your couch. The Mindpalace has a way of… twisting things, I guess. It’s less distorted out here.”

“Oh, I guess that makes sense,” Thomas bobs his head. “But why in the dark?”

“I’m a figment of your imagination, Thomas, I can’t turn your lights on.”

“Oh, yeah, that makes sense,” Thomas says again, rubbing the back of his head. “Hey, do you want warm milk?”

“Yeah,” Virgil nods, standing to follow Thomas into the kitchen?”

“Wiff cookies?” The slurred question comes from behind them, and Thomas turns to find Patton blinking blearily at them from the floor.

“Sure, Pat,” Thomas smiles at the Moral Side. “Just don’t tell Logan.”

“Promise,” Patton swears seriously, as he stands and shuffles forward, stopping only once he’s walking right into Virgil.

Thomas turns to the stairs to offer Janus milk and cookies, but finds that he’s already sunk back out.

Oh well, he thinks. More cookies for us.

~~~END~~~

[Janus], [Logan], [Roman], [Remus], [Patton]

Taglist:

@alias290

@winterwynd

@everythingisstardust

@ask-caramel-the-dragon

@memestofsdsins

@disasterlesbon

@selenechris

@ladyaurorab

@all-bridges-will-burn

@i-can-kazoo

@unsaltedtoaster37

@queen-of-all-things-snuggly

@the-snake-god

@discontinuedbirthdayparties

@thatonerandomarmadillo

@justmeandmygayships

@patient--zer0

@pixelated-pineapple

@for-real-fandom

@sunshinenotdick

@antiredhuman

@fanficloverinthesun

@katthebookiestnerd

@nova-galexa

@ai-incarnate

@genderfluidmoma

@the-bones-fall

@grayson-22

@vindicatedvirgil

@gayboopnoodle

AN: that’s the end of the series (which would have been more accurate to call “Eight times Virgil sat on a surface not meant for sitting (and one time he didn’t)” or “Five times the Sides found Virgil sitting on a surface not meant for sitting (and one time Thomas found him on the couch)” but whatever). Sorry it took so long for this part to be up, but I had to move out of my apartment.

I hope you enjoyed it and definitely let me know if you want to be tagged in any other Sanders Sides fics I write in the future. 💜💜💜

#sanders sides #ts sanders sides #c!thomas #virgil sanders #thomas sanders #logan sanders #janus sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #patton sanders #ts dark sides #creativitwins #my writing #thursday writes #fanfiction #fanfic

259 notes · View notes

wastelandcrown · 4 years ago

Text

all’s fair in fake love and gore

CHAPTER 1: (un)predictability

Summary: Roman and Patton have been dating for a while, and it’s fine. Remus doesn’t care. Unfortunately, it’s another excuse for his family to put Roman on a pedestal. Except that, through a turn of events nobody expected, Remus ends up pretending to be madly in love with his close friend Logan for his family’s holiday trip. Both parties are convinced nothing will happen between them. Roman and Patton, however, are terrible meddlers who believe in the power of love.

Warnings: Potential ooc behavior, Lightly tense family dynamics, Remus being Remus, OCs for family members (If I miss something please tell me!)

Notes: Listen-I hate the holidays but I live for this trope. I’ll try my hardest to do it justice and make it work. Name was suggested to me by the lovely @grayskiesrainyskies, thank you ma’am!!

Pairings: Intrulogical, Royality, Creativitwins

Two hours. It’s just two more hours. He’s reasoning with himself against all odds, but the urge to slam his head against the dining table is palpable and he’s barely holding it together. Remus had always hated family dinners, he hadn’t even bothered going up until recently. Adulthood was messy. Family was messier. More accurately, Remus was the mess of the family. Roman and him had long since mended their relationship, they even hung around in the same circle! That only made it worse when Roman and their mutual friend Patton started dating. It’s not that he wasn’t happy for them, he was. Their fluffy, happy, fairy-tale romance was something out of some god damned Disney movie, and Remus was so happy someone put up with Roman’s hopeless romanticism. Except now, because the family loves Patton.

He’s spent the entire night being as family friendly as he possibly could. It was a tiring effort to be dressed up like a “normal person”, without any makeup or accessories, and placating the old fleabags that he happened to be related to. Even then, he got the typical onslaught of negative attention. He didn’t even care. He didn’t, he really really didn’t. What made the dinner so wildly unbearable was Patton’s existence. He got along with everyone in the family, helped out with cooking, set the table, watched the kids, and was entirely sweet and rated-G. The family doted on him. Remus and Roman’s parents told Roman that Patton was “the one”. Both pairs of grandparents called him a “sweet young man” who was “the perfect homemaker for Roman”. Ugh. Perfect Roman, perfect Patton, and their perfect romance.

Dinner came, and now the family can’t seem to stop asking them happy little questions. The kids table even came over with the occasional curiosity about Patton and Roman. Remus could tell Roman’s calm and polite demeanor was shattering around question thirty. Even Patton was tired at question fifty. Then Aunt Patty had to open her stupid mouth.

“Well Patton,” She says with a wide smile, “You really are such a great young man! It’s quite the blessing that you’re with Roman.”

There it is. That’s what Remus has been waiting for all night.

“Aunt Patty, please,” Roman mutters, putting his head in his hands.

“Uhm, I’m not really sure what you mean!” Patton laughs nervously, genuinely confused about what she means.

The table laughs, and Aunt Patty continues, “Oh, well, I just mean that you chose the right twin!”

Roman succumbs to the urge and lets his head slide onto the table, his hands are behind his head and squeezing at his neck. Patton stares at Aunt Patty like she’s gone mad. Remus slips his butter knife off the table and stabs the back of his hand with it. It hurts, but skin doesn’t break. Most of the table laughs. His parents, his grandparents, his aunts and uncles, his adult cousins. They all laugh at the prospect of someone so nice dating someone like Remus. He stabs his hand again, harder this time.

His mother pipes up next, and Patton looks as if he’s going to lose his mind, “It’s a blessing really! If Remus brought someone home they’d probably be crazier than he is!”

“We really are lucky he doesn’t keep partners around for long!” Says his grandfather, and the table laughs again. Remus stabs his hand again.

He can see the gears of Patton's brain working as Roman sits up, “Guys,”

There’s something dangerous behind Patton’s eyes, “Can we please,”

Patton smiles in a way that makes Remus panicky, “Just leave Remus alone?”

He’s got a devious plan, and Remus can tell by the way he places a soft hand on Roman’s shoulder.

He brightly says, “See, Remus, this is why I told you you should have brought him!”, while making the most innocently intense eye-contact Remus has ever had.

Patton has been spending way too much time with Janus.

Everyone goes silent. Even the kids, which is a miracle. Remus stabs himself in the hand for the fourth time, the skin breaks. His blood gets onto the sleeve of the white button-up Roman lent him.

“Remus,” His father speaks very softly, “Do you have a partner?”

Patton smiles at him again, he thinks it over once or twice, “Yeah, what about it?”

“Why didn’t you bring them?” His mother asks with excitement clear in her voice.

Remus scowls, and everyone knows why, “You literally just fu-freaking laughed about his mere existence.”

One of his uncles clears his throat and breaks the silence, “H-How long have you been with them?”

“Six months.” Remus lies, he hopes the three of them can act well enough to pull it off.

That amount of time is five months longer than any of his previous flings, and his parents erupt into dramatic cries, “You haven’t told us after half a year!”

“I told Roman and Patton!” He yells back, turning back to his food and shoving some in his mouth to angrily chew.

“Roman! Patton! Who is it? Do we know him? Is it serious?” His father has stood up and has leaned over the table to interrogate the pair.

“Do-” Roman starts, and Remus knows he’s doomed, “Do you remember my friend, Logan?”

Remus kicks Roman under the table. As hard as he possibly can. His father stops moving, his mother drops her fork.

“You’re lying.”

“He’s not!” Patton chirps, “None of us expected it either but they’re very cute together!”

“Is Logan that stuck-up boy from their high school graduation who kept talking about following the proper protocol?” His grandma asks with a surprisingly shocked expression.

“That’s the one!” Roman points as he speaks, then the entire family has their eyes on Remus again.

“What? Are you looking for some explanation or something? He’s smart and he’s hot and he respects my choices,” Remus scoffs out, getting out of his chair and taking his plate to the kitchen, “I’m not talking about this anymore.”

Patton and Roman follow him into the kitchen with their plates. As he scrapes his plate into the trash, he gives Patton the most intense glare.

“Remus, I’m so sorry-” Patton pauses, and snatches him by the hand, “Did you stab yourself!?”

The next two hours, nobody brings anything up. It’s a breath of fresh air to have them shocked into respecting his damn privacy. Family leave or head to bed. The only people left awake when the trio are leaving are the twins' parents.

“What do you want, dad?” Remus asks when his father approaches.

His father gives a smile that he assumes was supposed to be warm, and opens his mouth to speak.

“Dad, Remus and I should really be going,” Roman cuts in, probably to try and save Remus from a potentially foreboding conversation.

Roman is pushing Patton and Remus towards the door, their dad chuckles. They must look fairly comedic with Roman angrily pushing against their backs as they stand without budge.

“Remus, you know the family’s winter trip is coming up,”

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” He rolls his eyes, and Patton smacks him upside the head.

“Your mother and I would like to extend the invitation to Logan, to get to know him.”

The room is so silent, you can almost hear Aunt Patty snoring in the guest room. Despite everything, Remus can’t bring himself to just say “no” to this offer. The family Cabin is huge, beautiful, quiet, and has a very nice library. Y’know, rich people shit. It really does seem like something Logan would love under different different circumstances.

He agreed to ask, but he was sure Logan would say no.

“No.”

Called it. Remus knew that even if himself, Roman, and Patton groveled and begged, Logan was not going to budge.

“Logan! It’s only two weeks!” Roman pleads.

“You need a break anyway! What’s more relaxing than being my little boytoy!” Remus grumbles, he’s only partially joking. Logan does need a break, he can tell.

“Okay but have you seen their cabin?” Patton asks in the innocently excited way he tends to do.

That piqued Logan’s interest. He looks at Patton and inquisitively moves his eyebrow vaguely upwards. Roman opens up a folder on his phone of photos from the cabin. There are nearly two hundred, but each photo is whittling down Logan’s resolve. He thinks again about their neat little family library. The fairly large room goes almost entirely unused, only with two exceptions. Remus, and long past on Gran-Gran. Remus remembers sitting on his great-grandmother’s lap while she read to him countless stories. She didn’t mind his weirdness. Logan didn’t mind much either. He’d be alone with hundreds of books for three weeks, what more could he want? He’d just have to let Remus sit in.

“You know,” Remus leans in, whispering into Logan’s ear very gently, “We’ve got a big library.”

That’s what breaks Logan, who lets out the longest sigh Remus has ever heard in his life.

He agrees to go on two conditions. He will have physical contact with Remus but he will not kiss him, and he gets the make up the story of how the pair met. Remus couldn’t be more ecstatic. His family could suck it! He had a sexy ass fake boyfriend, who's probably gonna make up some dumb and adorable story about meeting in at a Library Book Club Meeting. Logan’s hot, he’s hot. It will work out. No strings attached. None.

Roman jokes to Remus everyday before the trip that we all know how the trip will end. Remus thinks he’s more unpredictable than that. He hopes he is.

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #intrulogical #royality #creativitwins #ts remus #ts logan #ts roman #ts patton #like all my fics this is so fuckin self-indulgent im-

91 notes · View notes

little-kat07 · 4 years ago

Text

The Perfect Cake

[OH MY GOD GUYS LOOK WHAT I FOUND!!!

A couple days ago, i suddenly remembered that I HAVE AN AO3 ACCOUNT. I completely forgot I had one. So I went back and looked at my works and holy hell guys, I had a ONESHOT BOOK! BUT I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT ONESHOTS WERE SO I CALLED THEM ‘Sanders Stories’, BECAUSE THEY WERE SANDERS SIDES. THEY’RE KIND OF CRAPPY BUT ALSO REALLY NOSTALGIC AND I’M SO HAPPY I FOUND THEM!!!!

This one particular one is called “The Perfect Cake,” and i’m actually kind of proud of past me for it, even though it’s not that good. It’s fluffy Logicality with a gallon of Patton angst because that is literally all I’m good at writing.

So I’m going to leave this here, as well as a link to the book! GUYS I’M JUST SO HAPPY!]

[In case you’re confused, the link I send will be to the whole book so the first chapter isn’t the one that I’m pasting here. This chapter, The Perfect Cake, is the second oneshot and the first one is prinxiety]

Link to book

---

Pairings: Logicality

TW: Baking, feelings of worthlessness, crying, birthday, breakdown

Summary: It’s Logan’s birthday tomorrow, and Patton is determined to bake the PERFECT cake for it (Even if he hasn’t baked that much before.) He’s trying his best, but he can’t do it alone.

---

Patton stood in the center of the kitchen.

He often had the same feeling in his stomach before he cooked something big; He had to mentally prepare himself for hours of work.

Logan's Birthday was tomorrow, and Patton had to make it the best possible birthday! This was the anniversary of the first day Thomas went to preschool- the day Logan was formed.

Patton remembered that day like it was yesterday. He remembered a small toddler with an intelligent sparkle in his eye knocking on the door of the commons, he remembered how he swore Patton's hugs might suffocate someone. He remembered growing up with him, and slowly falling in love, and-

Shoot. No. These emotions weren't logical, it was impossible for Logan to like Patton back. He had to stop thinking like that.

Illogical feelings or not, tomorrow was Logan's day to shine, and it had to be perfect. Patton had to bake the most amazing, most beautiful, most delicious cake ever to grace the Mind-scape.

Patton took a deep breath and got to work.

After a few hours, Patton had been worked to death. He had been trying and trying to make the perfect cake, but it was always just wrong, or the product of a mistake. His pink apron was wrinkled and dirty, and he had streaks of batter all over his face. He had started at 6 am, and it was now 8. He sighed and rubbed his face, grateful that he still had his optimism.

"Patton? You ok, Padre?"

Patton turned to find Roman standing in the kitchen doorway, eyes sparking with worry.

Patton smiled. "Oh, I'm alright, kiddo. Just trying to bake a cake for Logan. I can't seem to get it right."

Roman smirked and came in. "Want some help? I've never baked before, but I'll help if it's bothering you."

Patton grinned and gave the Prince a huge hug. "Thank you so much, kiddo! I'm sure you will be a great help!"

Oh, how wrong Patton had been.

Virgil had often joked about how Roman wouldn't stop singing to save his life, and Patton was pretty sure that was true. Every 5 minutes, just as they started to get some work done, the prince would start belting out lyrics to disney songs or dancing around the kitchen. They got as far as perfectly mixing the batter before Patton had to stop him.

"Look, kiddo..." Patton started, rubbing his hands together and trying to find a way to put this nicely. "You helped me make the perfect batter, and I am so proud of you for that, but I think maybe you should clock out? You have been a great help, but you... Um... Sing a lot." Patton winced, afraid Roman was going to be offended.

Roman nodded in understanding and put a hand on patton's shoulder. "Hey, don't worry about it. I know I can be distracting. Do you want me to go see if Virgil will help you?"

Patton nodded, thankful. "That would be great!"

Roman left the kitchen yelling "HOT TOPIC! PAT WANTS YOU!"

Patton watched him go with a proud smile, and then turned to clean up the kitchen.

Just as he was halfway through cleaning, Virgil came into the kitchen with his hood up. "Sup', Pop star?"

Patton grinned and gave Virgil a big hug, which the emo reluctantly returned. "My dark, strange son! I am baking a cake for Logan’s birthday, and I need your help!" Patton pulled away from Virgil, smiling. "Roman already helped me make the batter, but he can be a bit much in the kitchen. Would you mind helping out for the rest of the process?"

Virgil shrugged. "I have nothing better to do."

Patton knew that that was Virgil's way of saying "I would love to."

Virgil was very helpful cleaning up the kitchen. He had a sort of efficient way of doing things, just one after the other, not saying a word. It was kind of satisfying to watch.

It got a bit hectic after that, though. Once they were done cleaning, they had to pour the batter into the pans. It was going to be a big cake, like, "Corpse Bride" big. So they had to use multiple pans and lots of batter. Virgil had violently shaky hands, and had lots of trouble pouring the batter in. In the end, Patton had to pour all the batter himself, and the kitchen ended up very messy.

Virgil's eyeshadow was darker than when he had initially come in. "I-im sorry... I didn't mean to mess up, I just-"

Patton smiled at him and pulled him into a hug. "No no, you didn't do anything wrong, kiddo! You just had a little trouble with steadying your hands. I'm very proud of you for helping me clean up, but maybe we should get someone else to help us here? Maybe Jan?"

Virgil smirked sadly. "I think maybe i'll duck out for now, but I'll tell Janus you want his help."

"Thanks, son!"

Virgil stepped out of the kitchen yelling "HEY SNAKE BOY!"

Patton sighed. This was not going the way he had wanted it to. He did realize that if Janus ended up being bad at this, his last choice was Remus, and he was terrified of going down that road.

He had just cleaned the batter from the stovetop when Janus walked into the kitchen. "Hey Pat, did you need something?"

Pat smiled tiredly. "Hey, Janjan. I was going to bake a cake for Logan, but i'm having some trouble. Roman and Virge weren't so good at it, so I wanted to see if you would help?"

Jan rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'm tooooootally not disappointed that you worked with Emo and Sir Singalot before you thought about the second smartest person here," He said sarcastically.

"Mm-hm!" Patton managed to say before taking a deep breath to control himself.

Janus helped Patton bake the cake and even out the tops with a bread knife. The next thing they had to do was spread the buttercream filling on the layers so they could be stacked.

Jan looked in the fridge like Patton told him to. "I don't see the buttercream."

Patton walked over and scanned the fridge. It was gone.

He took a few deep breaths and ran a hand through his hair. "Where the heck is it? If I have to make more, I swear I will-"

"Make more of what?" Remus poked his head into the kitchen curiously.

"The buttercream filling for Logan's cake is gone."

Remus cocked his head. "Buttercream? Hmmm... OH! Yeah, I ate that."

Patton's eyes widened. "You did WHAT?" Remus smiled fearfully while Patton yelled. "THE ONE THING YOU EAT THAT IS ACTUAL FOOD, AND IT HAS TO BE THE BUTTERCREAM?"

For once, Janus looked worried. "Patton, are you ok? You aren't acting like yourself..."

The dad side breathed in and out rapidly, his hands running through his hair. He tried to calm himself down- He was the happy side, not the angry side. He could get through this. "I'm fine. I'm calm. I can do this."

"Gee, I'm sorry, Pat," Said Remus. He suddenly grinned. "I can throw it up for you, if you want!"

"NO! No, no. I think we will be ok," Janus said, pushing Remus out of the room. He turned to face Pat. "Patpat, are you ok?"

Janus sometimes called Patton Patpat, mostly as payback for Patton calling him Janjan. But when the two became good friends, they used them as nicknames instead.

"I'm fine, Janjan. I'm just having some feelings. Feelings are okay though! I'm ok."

Janus sighed. "If you say so."

They worked together to make a new batch of buttercream, allowing the cake to cool. The original buttercream had been baby blue, but Patton had no more baby blue dye, so they used indigo instead. They layered and stacked the cake with the buttercream, used support sticks to keep the cake from falling over, and then started to layer it with dark blue fondant.

Patton looked over at Janus. "Would you mind taking off the gloves? Sorry, but this is very delicate and I think you should use your bare hands."

Janus frowned. "I shouldn't. I have scales on my left hand, if I use it, it will leave a scale imprint on the fondant."

Patton blinked sadly at him. "Oh, ok."

Patton handled the fondant, and as he fit it into place, he thought the cake looked beautiful. "Only one thing left to do: DECORATE!!!"

Patton was an amazing decorator.

After years of theming cookies and cupcakes to each side, baking birthday cakes, and writing messages in crofters jelly for a scavenger hunt, Patton had a handle on how to make things look presentable. Right now, It was a giant 3-layer cake with blue fondant covering, but soon, it would be a masterpiece.

Janus coughed uncomfortably behind Patton. "Um... Since i'm not very good at this stuff... Can I go? I have my own present I wanted to work on."

Patton smiled at him. "Sure! Don't spoil anything to Lolo, ok?"

Deceit nodded and almost left the kitchen before turning back and saying, "Uh, hey, Patpat? Don't stress yourself out too much, 'Kay?"

Patton nodded back. "Of course."

Janus smiled, relieved, and left.

---

Patton was SO TIRED.

It was 8 in the morning on Logan's Birthday. Patton had worked all night on that cake and when he had finally finished it, he went right to bed without doing anything in between. He had just woken up, feeling groggy and confused, but he made himself get out of bed because it was Logan's special day.

Logan woke up that day happy. He knew that a birthday was pointless, it was a celebration of one year passing in an entities life, it made no logical sense. But if the other sides wanted to shower him with attention once per fricking year, he did not want to miss this chance.

Patton got out of bed the last out of all the others. Logan had woken up to the other four sides, Janus, Remus, Roman, and Virgil ready for him in the living room with gifts and treats. Logan had thought that Patton would be the first there, energized and grinning, the way he always was. But Patton was nowhere in sight.

When Patton did come out, he put on his best happy face and gave Logan the biggest hug he could muster. Logan smiled a little. "To this day, I swear, your hugs might suffocate someone!"

Patton laughed and grinned at him, just happy he had gotten through yesterday.

First, they made breakfast. Jan made waffles with crofters jelly and eggs, and they all sat around the table reminiscing about the past. They talked about when logan first got his glasses, when he had a stutter, and everything else that Patton could remember. Which was everything, since Patton kept every memory stored in his room.

Next, they had gifts. Roman gave him a lab in the imagination; with chemistry sets, a telescope, and books upon books upon books. It was his own little area in Roman's realm so Logan could enjoy himself every now and then. Virgil gave him a dictionary of every word in the world, in every language. Janus gave him a replica of the Library of Alexandria, with all of the scrolls and books still there. "The original one was burned down with all of it's knowledge," he said, "So here is-" "OH MY GOD I LOVE IT THANK YOU!" Remus gave Logan an animal to dissect. But it wasn't a real animal, it was something Remus had made to give Logan something to do.

Patton promised Logan that his gift would come after dinner. He felt as though his cake paled in comparison to all of the gifts his friends had given. I mean, the Library of Alexandria? Patton sunk lower in his chair.

After gifts, they had lunch in a beautiful field that Roman had created, where the flies ate grass instead of your food, and every bird was adorned with beautiful shimmering colors and tail feathers. They had PB&J sandwiches (with crofters, of course), Goldfish, and apples. They talked for hours about nothing in particular, every now and then asking Roman about the creatures that walked by.

Logan was having a great time, but something seemed off. He looked around at the group and his eyes settled on Patton. The more he looked at him, the more tired he seemed. Logan noticed shadows under Patton's eyes for the first time, and saw that his smile was beginning to look more and more forced. Logan began to worry that one of them had done something wrong. The usual bundle of joy and energy that was Patton looked a lot more docile and tired than before.

Once it started to get dark (because Roman had set a day-night cycle in the imagination just so they would know when to go) they went back to the commons for dinner. Janus cooked some brown sugared ham with peas and rice, while Patton left to get the cake ready.

As Patton walked into the kitchen, he took a look at the cake on the pedestal. Dark fondant with baby blue frosting in swirls, and a little fondant necktie decoration on the second tear to tease about Logan's necktie. The name "Logan" was scribbled in white frosting on top.

He remembered the tall pillars in the Library of Alexandria Jan had made, he remembered the sparkling equipment Roman had conjured. He remembered the giant dictionary, the animal-

Patton looked at the cake and sighed. He honestly didn't know what he was thinking. But this was what he had done. He would just have to work with it, and maybe make up for it with a different gift later.

He picked up the large cake in his arms. It was very heavy, and there was one whole room between the kitchen and the dining room; the living area. Patton just had to bring it over.

He left the kitchen with the cake, and he was doing well with it considering he couldn't see his feet, and then he tripped.

...and then he tripped.

His foot caught against something on the ground and he stumbled, causing the cake to drop out of his arms and onto the floor. It fell sideways, and broke upon impact, and the cake broke up on the floor. Bits and pieces everywhere. Patton had fallen, and he had scraped his elbow, but he didn't care. He didn't care anymore.

He had spent a whole god-forsaken day trying to get this right. He remembered Roman's singing, Virgil's shaky hands, Remus's eating habits, Janus' scales, and he could feel himself sinking into the ground. He just wanted this to be perfect. Logan deserved something perfect.

The cake was broken, and the world was quiet, and Patton wondered for a moment if he had gone deaf. The Mindscape was silent. He felt the tears on his cheeks, but he didn't cry. Patton was the joyful and happy side, so he didn't cry. Water fell from his eyes in waterfalls and rivers across his skin, but he wasn't crying, that's not how he worked. Even when sobs racked his body and made his chest hurt. He wasn't crying.

It was just a god forsaken cake, why the heck was he crying? It was just a cake. It was just a cake.

Shoot, this isn't ABOUT THE CAKE.

Logan and all the other sides sat in the dining room, talking happily about whatever came to mind. Patton had left to get the cake, but he hadn't come back yet. Logan had eaten his dinner and was now staring at the door. He tried to focus on the conversation, but he thought Patton seemed a little late.

"Hey, Nerd, whatcha' looking at?" Roman asked, walking up behind his chair, bending down, and following Logan's line of sight.

Logan didn't turn his gaze from the door. "I feel like Pat should have been back by now. Actually, Roman, maybe you could check on him?"

Behind Logan's back, Roman and Virgil exchanged a glance, and Roman understood immediately.

"Actually, Lo, maybe you should go check on him? It is your cake after all."

Logan stood up from his chair and walked out of the dining room. "I suppose so."

Virgil snickered. "Oh my god, he is so oblivious. I ship them so badly..."

Logan walked out of the dining room and almost choked.

Patton was on the floor, with his hands in his face. Was he crying? Patton didn't cry. He was too happy to cry. He was too fricking perfect to cry. WHO THE HECK MADE PAT CRY?

Then logan saw the floor. The cake, he realized, was broken up and smashed to bits on the ground. The fondant was ripped apart, save for a small black fondant necktie. Patton must have dropped the cake. It looked like it had been big.

Logan didn't hesitate for a second. He kneeled down beside Patton, wrapping his arms around him and quietly letting him sob.

Patton felt someone's arms around him, and they had glasses, he knew, because the glasses were pressed against his temple. But that meant it was Logan. Logan was here, and he can see the cake, and he is probably so mad. Patton wrapped his arms around Logan and cried into his shoulder. He didn't like Logan to be angry. Hugs fixed that. Right?

"Pat? Patton, don't cry, what's wrong?"

Patton could barely find the breath to speak.

"I-I dropped it. The thing... I-I mess-Messed up... It's all g-gone..."

"Shhhh. Shhh, it's not your fault, don't worry. Patton, I love the cake. It's looks like it was beautiful, thank you."

Patton just kept sobbing, his glasses getting foggy. Logan knew the side was emotional, but really, it was just a cake, and Logan wasn't even mad at Patton. In fact, Logan didn't think he was capable of being mad at Patton.

Patton was sad about the cake. Of course, it was horribly destroyed, and he had spent a long, tiresome day making it perfect. And now it was all gone, and Patton had no gift to give.

To Pat, this was bigger than that though. Logan was supposed to have the perfect birthday, but Patton had messed all of that up. He had nothing to give logan. Every day of his life, his goal was to give something, to be helpful, and to care for others. He had messed up today.

"I-i don't know wh-what to do. I just... I just wanted-d to g-give you something. I-It's a-all gone n-now. Th-the d-day is ruined."

Logan frowned. What would someone with a better sense of emotions say? Seeing Patton like this made him so sad, what could he do?

He remembered something Pat had said to him a long time ago, when he was getting used to emotions. 'When someone is feeling down, speak from the heart! The best thing you can do is tell them the truth, and if they don't like it, then they have a right to feel a little sad. But you should still try!'

"Pat, I know you are sad. I understand that you wanted to make this a good day, but it WAS a good day. I enjoyed every moment of today. Sure, the cake is messed up, but it's the thought that counts, and you are already the best gift I could ask for."

Patton looked up in confusion. "Me?"

Logan was usually really bad at emotions, but right now, emotions seemed to be all he could muster. "You are so caring and joyful. And sweet. And kind. And I don't care about the cake, or any gift you give me, the fact that you are so set on making me feel cared for is enough. I'm just happy you're here, ok?"

Logan brushed a tear from Patton's eye and smiled. "I'm just happy you're here."

#sanders sides #logicality #ts logicality #logans sanders #patton sanders #tss #ts patton #ts logan #logan x patton #patton x logan #tw crying #tw baking #tw breakdown

27 notes · View notes

mysticmeadowscamp · 4 years ago

Text

I noticed that a lot of them were either visual artists or theater kids, and I flight, hey, Roman’s Creativity, right?

Today was the same as any other, just the three of them chilling in the dorm together at way too late an hour, but this time Roman was almost buzzing with excitement. “I have an idea, for like a show or whatever.” He blurted out.

Dee grinned. “Oh yeah? Shoot.” Roman smiled back. “Okay, so it might sound a little weird, but hear me out. It’s this guy, and he has problems, so different aspects of his personality come to life to help him sort things out.” He looked a little nervous, but still excited. “What do ya think?”

Remus started drawing at his tablet really fast. “Sounds great, bro. What’re the guys like?” Roman blushed a little. “Uhh, I kinda… based them off of our friend group? But like, in reverse, if that makes any sense. Patton is a cheerful dad guy, Virgil is still an emo gremlin except with no sense of style, Logan is a teacher-type dude who acts like a robot, Dee is suave and sophisticated…”

“Hey!” Dee objected, jokingly. Roman went on. “Remus and me are still twins, but I’m like a Disney prince and he’s a stinky garbage man.” Remus laughed. “Nice.” Dee peered over Remus’s shoulder. “Oh dude, you gave me a snake face, that’s fuckin awesome.”

Roman shuffled over. “Wait, lemme see!” Remus had drawn what Roman had described, but with some artistic liberties. “Oh my god, your mustache,” Roman wheezed.

The three of them sat there for a while, laughing at the character designs, until Dee spoke up. “Y’know, there’s something to this. Let’s call the Gremlin Gang.”

“Hey, guys, we all love you, but why the fuck did you make us come to Waffle House at 2 am?!” Virgil asked. “Yeah, I’m tired,” Logan whined. “You’re always tired,” Virgil countered. “Yeah, that’s fair.” Logan rested his head on Virgil’s shoulder. “You guys are adorable together. It’s gross.” Patton joked.

Roman explained the idea to the gremlins, and they seemed to like it, with a few complaints. “Deceit’s way too refined to go by Dee. How bout Janus?” Logan asked. Dee sighed. “Sure, it’s not like I’m using it.”

They talked for a while about possible storylines and characterization, until Roman brought up the obvious point. “The guy still needs a name.” They all thought for a second. “Thomas?” Virgil suggested. “Wasn’t that the name of that monster thing you used to dream about?” Dee asked. Virgil rolled their eyes. “Yeah, but that was forever ago.”

“What about a last name?” Remus asked. Patton chimed in, “Sanderson?” Logan laughed. “Like the fucking Hocus Pocus witches? No way, Pajamas.” Roman grinned. “Sanders. Thomas Sanders.” They all sat back and admired their idea for a second, before Logan spoke up. “Alright, I actually am tired, and I have class tomorrow, so we should pack this up for now.”

So they all went back to their own dorm rooms, and didn’t talk about the idea for a while. Until about a week later, when Virgil and Logan called a meeting at their dorm. “Okay so I had a project where I had to animate a short thing to music, and I got Logan to make the song, so whattya guys think?”

Virgil played them the scene, and they saw… their characters, in an opening theme song sequence, to a sort of jaunty tune with a bunch of whistling. It showed their faces with names under them, and then they combined together to make the guy they made up, who was labeled Thomas. Then a zoom out to a title card, which read Sanders Sides.

“Sanders Sides?” Patton asked. “Yeah, ‘cause his name is Thomas Sanders, and they’re all sides of his personality, so…” Roman looked ecstatic. “So, we’re really gonna make this?” They all looked confused.

“Ohh, I thought we already agreed on that. I kinda started writing up a draft for the pilot,” Patton said, sheepishly. “Yeah,” Logan chimed in. “I started writing themes for all the sides” Remus sighed. “Yeah, I made ref sheets.” Everyone turned to look at Dee. “Hey, I don’t look at me. I thought we were waiting.” Roman looked away.

Logan put his hand on his friend’s shoulder. “Hey, Ro, we didn’t mean to do this without you, we just lived your idea and wanted to help it come true. We’re sorry we upset you.” Roman was quiet for a bit. “You guys…You didn’t upset me! I can’t believe you would all put so much time into my dumb project is all. It’s really sweet.” They all hugged each other.

“I do want to know what you think about this song I wrote for the thing…” He shook his head and smiled. “This song I wrote for Sanders Sides.”

It took about a month of nonstop working, but they finally got a pilot done. A short, eleven minute one, but it was fully animated, which took forever. It had a great underscore by Logan, and Roman and Dee wrote a great song, but everyone expected that from the theater kids.

The real surprise was Patton, who was great at writing. They all chipped in for jokes, and Dee did most of the philosophical end parts, but Patton wrote a majority of the dialogue, and it was fantastic. They all made a YouTube channel, called it Thomas Sanders, and the premise was that it was a sort of animated vlogging channel run by Thomas.

They hit upload, and let it be for a while, and then a couple hours later, Roman got a call from Logan. “Dude, Sanders Sides is #1 on the trending page!” Roman almost fell out of his chair. He went on YouTube to check it out, and sure enough, the video had blown up. “Thomas Sanders” had gained thousands of subscribers, and the comments were so positive.

“This is genius, why hasn’t anyone done this before?”

“Asifyfdtsryysrkh, the animation is so good!”

“Okay, but who else ships Logan and Virgil?”

You have no idea, Roman thought to himself. He got a text from Virgil, and this time he actually fell out of his chair. Ow. The text was a screenshot of the tumblr trending page, where Sanders Sides was also #1, and it was full of fanart, incorrect quotes, and headcanons. The screenshot was followed up by a text that just said “holy shit.”

The next day, Virgil was approached by three people from animation class. “We saw Sanders Sides, and thought, “No way, we know that guy! Do you need any extra animators?” Virgil was a little nervous, but responded. “Well, it was just me and my friend doing the art, but…” They looked shocked. “You mean two people did all that? Wow, you must be tired. You need more animators if you want to make more without being burnt out.”

So that was how the show got a higher production value, and they got their next episode out much faster. The team started calling themselves Campfire Productions. The series got bigger and bigger plot wise, and the fans, who had started calling themselves Fanders, after the channel name, were dying to meet the creators. So they set up a Q&A livestream.

They introduced themselves, and Roman explained how the series got started. The first question came in: “Dee, how’d you get your face like that?” Dee laughed, and said “it’s a mystery.” Then the next question: “Virgil, who’s the most fun to draw?” Virgil thought about it, then answered. “I’d have to say Remus, I really like drawing horror stuff, and Remus just has that eldritch vibe.”

“Remus, how do you feel about people shipping characters based off of your friends?” Remus sighed. “I mean, it’s the internet, right? It’s still a little weird to me, but as long as nobody’s shipping me with my brother, I guess it’s fine.”

“Logan, are you and Virgil dating?” The two of them held hands, and Logan stared into the camera. “Take a guess,” he said flatly. The next question was for Patton. “You’re credited as the main writer, what’s your process?” Patton fidgeted a bit.

“Well, the sides are kinda like a family, and my family life was… not great growing up, so I tried writing a group of flawed people that are still there for each other. It’s pretty therapeutic, actually.”

“Roman, how do you feel seeing how popular your show has become?” He smiled, and chuckled. “It’s pretty fantastic, actually.”

The next day, Sanders Sides was trending again, but this time, they were also talking about the campfire gang. There were fanfics of them meeting the sides somehow, people talking about how hot they all were, which everyone found hilarious. Overall, they were happy with their success, and the ad revenue allowed them to make even better animation and songs. They had moved onto season 3 by this point, and it was one of those parts of pop culture that everybody just knew about. When you talked about successful internet creators, or independent animators, or LGBTQ representation, you brought up Campfire Productions. They were successful, doing what they loved, and best of all, they were happy.

Oh my FUCKING GOD

THIS IS SO COOL??? AND WHOLESOME???? AND SO WELL PUT????? GDJDHDJHDJD

I am in ABSOLUTE love with this fic holy crap thank you SO much

Everything is so damn cute and theyre so happy im gonna CRY

Campfire Productions is a cool ass name tho like YES pls thank u GOD i was smiling like an idiot the whole time

FUVK i loved this so much im sorry dgndvdkdhd

#submission #campfire fics #campfire!vee #campfire!dee #campfire!nate #campfire!patton #campfire!remus #campfire!florian

339 notes · View notes

fangirlwriting-stories · 3 years ago

Text

Reflecting Light

Chapter One

Author’s Note: Sorry this is a day late, I did not feel up for any editing on Saturday, which is when I usually do so. Next chapter should still be out on time.

Chapter Six:

So here’s the thing. Remus was very comfortable sleeping with noise.

For most of his life he’d fallen asleep to the sound of Roman’s not-so-quiet snoring. When he was younger it had often included Patton and Logan’s snoring too, when the four of them had planned sleepovers. And even through the night there were guard changes, night missions, drills being run. Remus had learned how to fall asleep with sound.

Which is why having everyone on the ship having a small cabin to themselves created problems for him. There wasn’t even the rocking of the ship that would have come if they were on the sea. The closest thing Remus got to regular noise was the occasional bird flying past them, forget about consistent snoring.

Now, generally speaking Remus was very familiar with sleep deprivation. If that was all this new situation brought, he’d be fine. Unfortunately, about a week after Janus’ famed sword fight defeat, when his fear of being hurt by someone was finally starting to fade, the nightmares started.

Roman was in most of them, which was the least surprising thing about this whole situation. Remus lost count of how many times he’d seen Roman ripped in half, or beaten to a pulp, or bleeding out on the ground in front of him. Sometimes it was Shane’s fault in the dream, meaning that Remus woke up with a ball of guilt in his throat and the sudden fear of Oh God I left him there alone what are they going to do to him. It took Remus a couple minutes of rationalizing to calm himself down, but he usually ended up in the same place. Roman was the good twin. Remus was the screw up. Just because Remus wasn’t there to cover for him anymore didn’t mean Shane was going to hurt someone who didn’t deserve it. Besides, Roman had to have taken that into account, and been more careful as a result.

Sometimes Patton and Logan were in the dream. It was far easier to rationalize his way out of those. Those two hadn’t done anything wrong in their lives. Well, unless someone somehow figured out that they were stealing from the kitchen. But they’d been doing that for almost two decades at this point. There was no reason someone would find them now.

And then there was tonight’s declaration via his unconscious brain, that in case he wasn’t already aware, he now cared about Janus and Virgil.

…

“Remus!”

Remus whirled around at Virgil’s scream. He’d never heard him sound like that before, but the second he turned around he understood the reason. Virgil was splayed out on the ground, gasping, blood spurting from his stomach.

“Virgil!” Remus cried. He reached out to try and help Virgil, but couldn’t get his feet to move to get any closer.

“Remus!” called another voice, and Remus spun around again, this time to find Janus in a similar state to Virgil. He struggled to reach forward once again, and once again got nowhere.

“No!” Remus cried. “No, no, hang on, I can help, I know how, just let me—”

Remus strained forward, but still didn’t get anywhere.

He heard Virgil cry out and spun around to find a shadowy figure dragging him further away.

“No! Hey, give him back!” Remus cried, straining for Virgil. But as that was happening, he heard screaming from the other side of him, and spun around to see another figure pulling Janus in the other direction. As Remus took a minute to strain in that direction instead, hands grabbed him from behind and Remus heard very familiar laughter in his ear.

“Well, it seems once a worthless soldier always a worthless soldier,” Shane whispered. Remus felt his breath hot on his neck. “You still can’t protect anyone, can you?”

“Let me go!” Remus screamed, straining against Shane, and making exactly zero progress. “I’m going to kill you!” Remus screamed, though the words fell into the air like an empty threat.

Sure enough Shane laughed again, and pulled Remus even closer. “You’re going to fail,” he hissed. “Like you always do. Just watch.”

Remus kept pulling against Shane’s hands. He couldn’t even see Janus or Virgil anymore, but he had to keep trying, he couldn’t let Shane be right, they couldn’t get hurt because of him—

…

Remus jerked awake. The hands were still on him, they were holding him back he had to—

Remus rolled over and fell to the ground. He blinked at the sudden rush of pain that ran through the knees that he’d landed on. He blinked for another second, the pain grounding him slightly as he realized that there hadn’t been hands grabbing him, he’d just been tangled in his blanket.

And Janus and Virgil… they could take care of themselves. They had to have some knowledge of how to treat wounds. In fact, he knew that they did. Janus had helped him with the bandages that he’d had wrapped around his hands for two days after the broken cup incident.

And Shane was gone. He wasn’t going to hurt Janus or Virgil. If he tried, Remus would just stand in his way. Granted, if they met up with Shane, they’d probably just take him out since he was a Light soldier. And they would totally be able to handle it, because they could handle themselves. But still, if it came down to it, he would take whatever Shane wanted to do to them. He would do it.

“Well, it seems once a worthless soldier always a worthless soldier.”

Remus flinched. Well, now he was thinking about the way they’d looked in the dreams again. He liked blood and that had been a little much.

Remus looked over at his door and pushed himself up off the ground. He wasn’t going to be a worthless soldier. Not for Janus and Virgil. He couldn’t imagine that they were in any danger on a ship in the middle of the air, but that didn’t mean anything. It hadn’t mattered how theoretically safe someone was back home, after all. It was still his fault for failing to guard properly.

Remus opened the door and headed out into the hallway, down to the two largest rooms at the end of it for Janus and Virgil. He slid open the door for Virgil’s room first and—

And he wasn’t there.

Remus’ breath caught and he spun around, half expecting to see Virgil’s blood-covered corpse in the hallway behind him. Nothing was there, and he looked back and forth, hoping Virgil would magically show up and Remus could stop freaking out. But he wasn’t anywhere. Oh, god, he wasn’t anywhere and Remus was worthless he couldn’t even protect the people important to him, fuck where was Virgil—

Remus stumbled towards the next door that led to Janus’ room. He yanked the door open, probably a little louder than he should have, but a second after he did the very person he was looking for jerked upright and looked towards the door.

“What— Remus?” Virgil asked, blinking a couple times as he seemingly tried to wake himself up.

Half of the tension in Remus’ body melted out of him and he collapsed against the side of the door. Janus shifted in the bed next to Virgil and grumbled as he sat up too. “Why is there a person, and no sun?” he asked.

��Sorry,” Remus gasped. “I just— I couldn’t find Virgil and I didn’t want him to die before I found him and—” And he wasn’t really making any sense, was he?

“Woah, hey, slow down.” Virgil moved the blankets aside and stood up. “Are you okay? Nightmare?”

“What? No, don’t be ridiculous,” Remus said, scooting backwards.

“Hey, it’s alright,” Janus said, seeming a little more awake than a second ago. “Why do you think Virgil’s here?”

“He— huh?”

Virgil waved slightly. “Nightmares. They suck,” he said with a nod.

Remus took a minute to process that. He swallowed. “Oh.” He didn’t say anything for another minute. “I—”

“Alright, come here,” Virgil said, patting the bed next to him.

“What? No, I’m fine. I just… I just wanted to make sure you guys…” he trailed off.

“Were okay?” Virgil finished gently.

“…weren’t bleeding out in front of me,” Remus mumbled, nudging the ground with his toe.

“Yeesh. Yeah, come sit.” Virgil patted the bed again.

Remus started forward hesitantly, and Janus shifted over so there was space for Remus.

“You okay?” Virgil asked again.

Remus reached out hesitantly and poked Virgil on the cheek, just to make sure he was there. He was. He turned to Janus a second later, and squeezed his already offered hand. “I’m okay,” he muttered.

“Excellent. Come join the cuddle pile, then,” Janus said, rolling over and closing his eyes.

“Uh… what?”

“Yeah, he has no filter when he’s tired,” Virgil said, grinning a little. “Feel free to tease him about the fact that he said ‘cuddle pile’ in the morning. I can confirm that he will not get the least bit irritated.”

“Something tells me that’s not correct,” Remus said.

Virgil laughed a little. “Okay, seriously. You want to stay?”

“I really just came in here to check on you,” Remus muttered, fidgeting with the bottom of his shirt.

“Okay, and now you’ve done that. You want to stay?”

Remus looked up hesitantly. Virgil smiled encouragingly. “We do it all the time,” he said. “Really.”

“I… I always slept with my brother growing up,” Remus admitted. He paused. “You know, at the orphanage.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you had a brother,” Virgil said in surprise.

Well. Shit. How to get out of this one?

“Well, um. Had,” Remus said weakly, because yeah, that works.

Virgil’s gaze softened a little in sympathy, and now Remus felt worse.

“Yeah, okay, come join the cuddle pile,” Virgil said with a firm nod, moving slightly to give Remus a spot in between him and Janus.

Remus hesitated, and laid down. “Can I tease you about saying ‘cuddle pile’ in the morning?” he asked as Virgil did the same.

“Absolutely not.”

…

Joining Janus and Virgil in Janus’ cabin became far more common than Remus would have expected. He found himself the next morning with an extended (heh, extended) offer to go to either of them if he ever wanted to. He was growing closer to the two of them than anyone else on the ship, after all, and they seemed to have noticed that about the same time he did.

But while going there after a nightmare helped him calm down, the nightmares didn’t really stop. Remus had tried brainstorming various solutions before as to what would help, and Virgil and Janus had pitched a couple of ideas too, but so far the nightmares continued.

It’s not like it was affecting his work in any way, Remus had gotten used to working while sleep deprived. But it did make him a little scared to go to sleep.

Remus came up with a solution on a night that he wasn’t quite comfortable with going to Janus’ cabin. He headed up to the deck to guard the sleeping quarters from up there, as he didn’t think that much else would be able to calm him down that night.

But he hadn’t been up there for more than a couple minutes before he heard his name called from behind.

“Remus?”

“Go away, Virgil,” Remus snapped without turning around.

“Remus, didn’t you stay up all last night? You need to try and get some sleep.”

“Can’t.”

“Can’t?”

“Can’t.”

Virgil took a couple hesitant steps forward. “Okay,” he said slowly. “Why can’t you?”

Remus didn’t say anything, gritting his teeth.

“You want to come to my cabin? Or we can both go to Janus.’”

Remus was quiet for another moment. “Didn’t want to wake you up,” he said finally, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Hey, we’ve told you before we don’t mind. It’s okay.”

Remus blinked a couple times and yawned, the anger fading as the exhaustion finally started to catch up. “My brains being mean,” he muttered, rubbing at his eyes.

“Ah. I see.” Virgil walked over and stood next to him on the deck. “You wanna tell me what it’s saying?”

How could you leave all of them there you monster they’re going to get hurt someone’s going to hurt them and it’s going to be all your fault because you failed to be strong enough to stay and protect them and then any of them who survive are going to hate you—

Remus pushed hands over his ears and whined, shaking his head.

“Hey, hey, look at me.”

Remus managed to.

“It’s gonna be alright,” Virgil said, pulling Remus’ hands down from his ears. “Everything’s alright.”

Remus stepped back slightly out of Virgil’s hands and pressed himself back against the wall of the ship, trying the four, seven, eight breathing exercise Virgil had taught him.

Virgil stepped closer and stood back against the wall right next to Remus, probably so Remus could hear his breathing too, which he was loudly exaggerating.

They stood there for a moment until Remus was able to calm his breathing down. Virgil turned to look at him when he suddenly hissed in pain.

“Shit,” he said, pulling his arm to his chest.

“What’s wrong?” Remus exclaimed, all the fear rushing back in an instant.

“No, no, I’m fine,” Virgil reassured. “Just got a splinter. This is why I wear long sleeves most of the year. Well, this and the fact that we’re flying hundreds of feet above the ground.”

“Let me treat it,” Remus said instantly, taking Virgil’s other arm and leading him back down below deck towards the medbay.

“Wait, what? Remus, seriously, I’m fine—”

“Please let me treat it,” Remus said again.

“It’s just a splinter,” Virgil said, but he didn’t fight Remus at all as he pulled them both into the medbay and sat Virgil down on the table. Remus pulled out bandages for minor wounds, which was probably overkill but his brain definitely wasn’t getting the picture right now. He grabbed a pair of tweezers and held Virgil’s hand out in front of him, then used the tweezers to pull the splinter out.

He looked at the tiny red spot on Virgil’s hand that was already fading and made the obvious assumption that it did not need any bandages.

Remus let out a slow breath and moved to lean back against the wall.

“Better?” Virgil asked quietly, standing from the table.

Remus nodded. “Much better. Sorry I can’t— my brain just won’t shut up I didn’t mean to—”

“Hey, it’s alright,” Virgil said, leaning back next to Remus again. “Trust me, I get it. Whatever helps sometimes, you know?”

Remus nodded slightly. “Do you have a medic on board?”

“We call them the ship doctor,” Virgil said. “But no. We all kinda know basic first aid.”

“Do you need one?”

“Are you offering?” Virgil asked in surprise.

“It helps me calm down,” Remus admitted. “I know how to take care of wounds beyond a first aid level. And I think it would help if I knew it was my job to help you when you get injured.”

Virgil gave him a puzzled look. “That doesn’t really follow.”

“Yeah, I don’t get it either. But it worked tonight.”

Virgil looked at him for a moment longer and then nodded. “I think that would be okay,” he said. “I’ll run it by Janus tomorrow.”

Remus took a deep breath, and felt his brain finally start to shut up. “Okay,” he said. “Thanks.”

“Anytime,” Virgil said. “You’re important to me, you know.”

Remus scrunched up his nose. “I haven’t even known you for a month.”

“Uh, so fucking what? Is there a special number of days for how long it has to be before you care a lot about someone?”

“I don’t know,” Remus said. “But I don’t think it’s been long enough.”

“Sorry bud, but that ain’t your decision,” Virgil said, patting Remus on the shoulder as he pushed off the wall. “Now come on. Let’s go wake up Janus and tell him to scoot over.”

He headed out of the medbay, and Remus smiled a little as he followed.

Chapter Seven

#sanders sides #remus sanders #roman sanders #pirates #rebellion #angst #abuse #tw abuse #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #my fic

10 notes · View notes