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noblest-roman-of-them-all · 28 days ago

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What the Cat Dragged In

Being a parent is hard. Sometimes kids ask hard questions and sometimes parents panic and tell absurd lies that ultimately lead to their kids punching someone at school for calling them stupid after jumping to a decently reasonable conclusion based on said lie. Logan is at least there to support Janus through the ordeal and help clear things up a little for Virgil.

"Hello, Roman," Logan answered the phone, already weary to see the call coming from Roman's personal number instead of the school's.

"Heeeyyyy."

"What happened?"

"Virgil's fine," Roman replied with enough forced casualness to make Logan pinch the bridge of his nose. "Everything's been taken care of, it's all been settled, absolutely nothing to worry about, but, um. Well, he sort of punched someone today. Um. While I was getting the kids started on their projects."

Logan blinked. "I-I'm sorry. What happened?"

"Um. Virgil punched another student," Roman said again. "I mean, between you and me, I think he had it coming because he's been a, uh, bit of bully to literally everyone here, and I do mean everyone-"

Logan sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Roman-"

"No, it's okay, he didn't, like, draw blood or anything, the principal already called the other kid's parents, no fire there, everything is totally fine in that area, um, Virgil was pretty upset at first-"

"Obviously, he punched someone," Logan rolled his eyes. "Do you know why?"

"Uh, yes. So I was giving the kids back their trinket dishes we've been working on so they could check them over, make sure they didn't want to change anything and one of the kids saw that Virgil's had 'Artemis' written in it and he asked about it, then Virgil told him it was a gift for her. The other kid then told him that Artemis and all the other gods weren't real and called him and you and Janus stupid. And said that you lied to him, so Virgil punched him."

Logan sighed. "Okay, well, I just got off and I'm coming to pick him up now. Is he okay?"

"Oh yeah," Roman assured. "We went to one of the Calm Spaces talked for a little while once he felt ready to do that, um. Frankly, I didn't understand it all, um... Apparently the dish is because he wants to ask Artemis for a brother? Which...I-I don't know. But just so you have that heads up because, like, I don't know...what all he knows, um. But I guess he think he was brought to you by cats? Which I thought was Freyja's thing, but he swears it's Artemis's. But, you know. There's that."

Logan groaned and massaged his forehead. "Well, thank you for taking care of him. And for giving me a heads up. I'll be there soon."

"Drive safe!" Roman chirped.

Logan hung up and for a moment sat in the car rubbing his forehead and trying to recall if Virgil had mentioned anything specifically about Artemis recently that might have caused all of this. He sighed as he turned the car on and began pulling out of the parking lot; while he'd often spoken to Virgil about the existence of the gods, he'd never once brought up that Virgil needed to do anything about it. He was only six, after all. And really what he shared was simply because of Virgil's curiosity and his not hiding his beliefs from him.

Sure, Logan has his own little alter in the apartment where he placed offerings and whatnot, but aside from Virgil asking if he could give dandelions to whichever deity he happened to remember the name of that day, he'd never brought up the idea to him.

He shook his head as his hand drifted to the necklace tucked into his shirt and briefly closed around the snake pendant there, half wondering if this was Loki's idea on getting him to learn to embrace chaos.

---

"Hey, munchkin," Roman crouched beside Virgil. "Dad's on his way now. Are you sure you don't want me to put your dish up somewhere safe?"

Virgil shook his head and continued to hold the packed trinket dish to his chest with one arm while he munched on his apple slices with the other. "No thanks."

Roman nodded. "Alright. The rest of the kids are going to move to the library after this for games and reading. Do you want to go with them or hang out with me till Dad gets here?"

Virgil paused. "I think I wanna stay with you today."

"That's totally okay," Roman assured and ruffled Virgil's hair. "I'm going to finish wrapping up everyone's dishes, okay?" He slid onto the bench across from Virgil and set to work.

"Uncle Roman?"

"Yeah, stormcloud?" Roman half glanced up from the dish he was folding up in newspaper.

"Do babies really not come from cats?"

Roman let out a breath. "Uh, well, honestly...babies come to their parents in a lot of different ways. And sometimes people aren't even babies when they meet the family that's going to raise them."

"Really?" Virgil questioned, clearly surprised.

"Well, sure," Roman shrugged. "Batman adopted Robin when he was eight years old. That's two whole years older than you are now!"

"I know Bruce Wayne is Batman, Uncle Roman," Virgil rolled his eyes.

"You're right. Bruce Wayne adopted Dick Grayson when he was eight years old," Roman snickered. He double checked the name carved into the bottom of the dish before taping it off and writing the name on the paper while Virgil munched thoughtfully on his apples.

"Uncle Roman?"

"Yes, Virgil?"

"You have a mom, right?"

"Yeah, buddy. Your dad is my brother so we have the same mom, remember?"

Virgil squinted at the wall. "And Bobby has a mom."

Roman froze, hand mid air as he reached for another dish, dreading where the conversation was going. "Yeah, that's right."

"And moms are where babies come from."

"...More or less," Roman agreed, willing Logan to come pick up his kid and put him out of his misery already. "Usually, yeah. Something like that."

Virgil nodded, apparently pleased with this confirmation. "I thought so," he said and took a bite from his last apple slice.

Roman blinked. "Is that...it?"

"Mh-mn," Virgil nodded.

"O-okay. Um. Glad I could clear that up for you."

---

"Hey, gremlin, your dad is here," Roman announced.

Virgil glanced up from his color page and squinted at Roman. "You told him not get me in trouble on the phone, right?"

Roman snickered. "Yes, I told him that everything was taken care of and not to worry about that, and you know not to punch people anymore, right?"

"Yeah," Virgil sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Okay, let's head up front to meet your dad."

---

"Hey, sunshine," Logan greeted his child, who came barreling into him, and kissed the top of his head. "You okay?"

"Uh-huh. Uncle Roman helped me feel better."

"I'm glad he was there to help you. Do you have all your stuff?"

"Uh-huh. Can Uncle Roman come home with us? I wanna show him where my stuff dish for Artemis is gonna go."

"I know you're excited about that, but I don't think Uncle Roman is done working yet."

"But school is all done and he's a teacher," Virgil objected.

"You're right, school is over now. But you stayed after school for a little while, right? Well, teachers usually have to stay even more after school to make sure everything is ready for the next day," Logan explained.

"That's boring and tired," Virgil announced.

"You're right, it is," Roman agreed and ruffled Virgil's hair. "I'll come over later and see it. Besides you still have your bobby to share it with, remember?"

"Oh yeah! We gotta go, Daddy! Bye, Uncle Roman!"

"I'll see you tomorrow, Virge." Roman clapped Logan on the shoulder. "Good luck."

---

Logan hoisted Virgil onto his hip in front of the long shelf that functioned as his covert alter and Virgil gently set down the trinket dish.

"What do you think? Do you like it there?"

Virgil nodded. "Do you think Lady Artemis will like it too?"

"Y'know, sweetheart, I have found that when we give gifts thoughtfully and sincerely, that makes the gods happier than anything. I'm sure she'll love it." He kissed Virgil's cheek and set him on the ground again. "Is it okay if I ask what made you want to give her a gift specifically?"

"Well, you told me that she likes cats and they're her hunting helpers and Bobby said that cats brought me here and I thought that maybe they were her hunter helpers that found me as a baby and brought me here cause you said she likes babies too and tries to help them too. So I wanted to make her a special gift so maybe next time she found a baby her hunter cats could bring him here too and I could have a brother. Like a trade."

Logan blinked. "Bobby said what?"

"He said that cats brought me here and that's why people say 'look what the cat dragged in' cause cats dragged me in and it was so surprising that people started saying it about other people too."

"Oookay..." Logan rubbed his face, briefly pushing his glasses up onto his forehead. He let out a breath and readjusted the frames. "I see why Uncle Roman was confused now. Um. I...will let you know when Bobby comes home so you can show him your dish, because I know that's very important to you. Um. But for now....I- You can play in your room for a little while and after you show Bobby your dish and tell him how special it is we can work on your homework. Sound good?"

Virgil squinted up at his dad. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. But I probably will talk to Bobby for a little while first because, um, I'm also confused about something and I think he can help me be...less confused. I hope. Um." He rubbed his forehead. "Yeah, I- Hoo... I have so many questions for your bobby. But I will absolutely make sure that you get to talk to him. Okay?"

Virgil continued to squint suspiciously, but nodded. "Okay, if you say so."

---

"Hey, Janus-"

"Oh hey, babe!" Janus smiled brightly to be greeted at the door by his husband and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Hi," Logan smiled patiently. "I- I love you, I do. I love you so much and I recognize that you just got home and, um, you work in a pharmacy and that- that's a customer service job and I get that, but I-I need to ask you something."

Janus frowned. "Yeah, what's wrong?"

"Did you tell Virgil he was delivered to us by cats?"

Janus's eyes went wide. "Ah." He scratched behind one ear. "I...may have said something similar. Yeah. Why?"

"I'm going to show you something and in a few minutes when I bring Virgil in you are going to pretend not to have seen this." He carefully pulled the dish from the shelf and held it up, pointing at the name carved into the center. "This is a trinket dish Virgil made in after school. He made it for Lady Artemis as an offering so her cats, which he assumed brought him here because of what you told him, would bring him a brother."

"Whoops."

"Cats, Janus?" Logan demanded and replaced the dish. "Couldn't you have at least gone with something traditional like storks?"

"Would that actually be less upsetting to you?"

"I don't know at this point, honestly. All I know is that Virgil punched a kid today because he was explaining why he made that for Lady Artemis to Roman and some kid told him she wasn't real and Virgil was stupid and I was lying to him."

"...I don't know how you want me to respond to that." Janus grimaced.

Logan rolled his eyes. "We are not encouraging violence, Janus."

"I'm just saying, I bet the kid's gonna leave him alone now. And I mean, you've said yourself even Aphrodite is a war goddess."

"Janus..." Logan sighed and rubbed his forehead.

"Okay, I'm sorry," he held up his hands. "How can I fix this?"

"We have to tell him the truth," Logan shrugged. "We were always going to have to tell him, I just...wish you hadn't told him something that ridiculous."

"I panicked! And then I kind of assumed he'd forget."

Logan arched a brow. "It's Virgil."

"Yeah, I should have known better," Janus admitted. "I am sorry."

"I know," Logan sighed. "I just- cats? Really?"

"You're not going to let that go, are you?"

"No. I'm not. It's so out of pocket!"

"You're literally a polytheist and there are literally two goddess you've talked about being over similar domains of fertility and childbirth with cats for their sacred animals, I don't think it's that far out there," Janus deadpanned. "I realize that's not a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice."

"You're lucky I love you," Logan grumbled.

Janus snaked his arms around Logan's shoulders. "How lucky?" He asked coyly and stole a kiss.

Logan smiled and slid his arms around Janus's waist, pulling him slightly closer. "You really think you can cute your way out of this?"

"I mean, it's worth a try, right?"

"I don't think it is," Logan shook his head. He kissed Janus again anyway. "We need to figure out how we're going to explain this."

"I mean, he knows what adoption is. Remus took care of that by rewatching Batman the Animated Series with him. We can just use that. He doesn't exactly need to know about the surrogate thing right now, does he?"

"We can't lie to him again, Janus," Logan answered. "That wouldn't be fair to him. What would we tell him later? That we lied about adopting him because it was the easier than explaining the truth when he was lied to?"

"I guess you're right," Janus murmured and pulled his arms back, folding them over his stomach.

Logan sighed and slid his hands up to Janus' biceps. "We don't have to explain your medical history to him, but…I do think we need to tell him the truth about using a surrogate. Better that then having to rehash all this when he's older. He may not appreciate our honesty now, but he will when he's older."

Janus nodded and rubbed his face. "You're right. I know you're I just…"

"It hurts," Logan filled in. "I know. It's okay if you don't feel up to being in on the conversation-"

"No. No, I was the one who lied to him, I should be the one to talk to him."

Logan gently took Janus by the face and kissed his forehead. "I'll be with you the whole time."

—

Janus knocked on the door frame to Virgil room. "Hey, sweetheart, Daddy said you had something you wanted to show me."

"Bobby!" Virgil popped up from his pile of legos and ran with open arms to his bobby.

Janus smiled and scooped him up, kissing his cheek. "Hello, little love. Did you have a good day at school?"

"Well, I did during school time. After school time I got in trouble for hitting," Virgil admitted.

Janus held back a snicker. "I appreciate your honesty. Daddy let my know one the other students had said some pretty mean things to you."

"Yeah. It made the angry feeling too big and it came out my arm."

"The angry feelings tend to do that," Janus nodded sagely.

"Yeah, they almost came out of my mouth too cause I wanted to call him mean names back, but instead it came out of my eyes and made me cry."

"I want to call people mean names when they hurt my feelings too. I'm proud of you for not doing that. It can be really hard to do."

"Yeah," Virgil sighed heavily, sound far too world weary for his six years. "Specially when the mean names are true."

This time Janus did snort. "Honey-"

"It's true!" Virgil objected.

"I know, sweetie. I didn't mean to laugh, I'm sorry. Would you like to show me what you made now?"

"Yeah!" Virgil quickly squirmed out of Janus’s arms and dragged him by the hand to the little altar. "It's up there!" He pointed then held up his arms. "Can you help me reach?"

Janus snickered and picked him up again, standing close to the shelf for Virgil to reach. Once he'd pulled the little dish from its place Janus carried Virgil to the couch and sat with the boy on his lap next to Logan. "Alright, tell me aaaalll about it."

"It's a stuff dish. We made them out of clay that didn't need to be cooked cause the school doesn't have a clay oven thing. I painted mine so it looks like stars for Artemis so her could maybe bring me a brother with her hunter cats. That's why her name is on the inside so she knows it's for her. Does that make sense? Daddy and Uncle Roman said they were confused when I told them."

"You know, sweetie, I think it's my fault they got confused," Janus told him.

Virgil's little face scrunched in confused. "You didn't even tell them things."

"No, but I told you something. Remember when you asked where you came from and I told you cats dragged you here?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well…that…wasn't really true. It wasn't fair of me to lie to you and I am very sorry I did, Virgil. I wasn't expecting you to ask about how you came to us and I panicked a little."

"But how did you find me then?" Virgil asked curiously, apparently unbothered by Janus's admission.

Logan squeezed Janus’s hand.

"Your Aunt Minerva helped," Janus told him. "You remember when your cousin Emile was born and Aunt Minerva's tummy grew and Daddy explained that babies grow inside some people till they're ready to be born? Well, Daddy and I can't really do that. So we went to the doctor's and they took some special cells from me and Daddy and made sure they were safe in Aunt Minerva's body and then when you were ready to be born we all went to the hospital together and you came home to live with us."

"Ohhh. Does that mean hers is my mommy and my auntie?"

"There is a special word for when someone helps a couple have a baby called a surrogate mother," Logan explained. "But she's not exactly your mommy."

"So it wasn't hunter cats?"

"No, sweetheart."

"Oh. Does that mean Artemis isn't my mommy either?"

Logan blinked in confusion. "What?"

"Uncle Roman says babies come from moms and if I didn't really come from Lady Artemis with her hunter cats that makes her not my mommy."

"Not-" Logan sighed. "She didn't literally send you to us with her cats, but I do believe she heard me praying for a baby and maybe she helped make sure that you grew safely and were born safely. She may not be your mom in a literal sense, but it's okay if you think of her like a mom."

Virgil nodded sagely. "I like that idea. Do you think she could send me a brother the regular way still?"

"I think that's probably something your bobby and I need to talk about first. We want to make sure we can take care of you and any other kids we might have. It doesn't usually happen really fast. I don't want you to think that just because you don't get a brother right away that that means Lady Artemis didn't like your gift, alright? I'm sure she likes it very much, this type of thing just takes a long time."

Virgil nodded. "That makes sense," he said seriously. "It took a long time for Emi to be borned. Do you think she could send me a hunter cat instead? Or maybe just a regular cat?"

Logan coughed a little to hide his laughed. "It never hurts to ask."

"I'm gonna go draw picture of the hunter cats so I can ask for one," Virgil decided and squiggled off of Janus’s lap then scampered off.

"I'm incredibly proud of you," Logan said once they were alone, squeezing both of Janus’s hands tightly.

Janus mustered up a smile for him. "Thanks."

"Are you okay?"

Janus let out a shaky breath and nodded. "I will be."

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #sanders sides au #logan sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #roman sanders #trans!janus #intersex!janus #kid!virgil #pagan!logan #loceit

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