#patton is definitely trans

[sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes]

hey I probably have some enby Virgil/enby Sides fics bookmarked, if you want some recommendations

also, concept: Virgil coming out as genderqueer prompts the other Sides to do the same, and this gives c!Thomas a gender crisis on top of all his other issues

!! :D yes please!!!!

Also yeah absolutely, when I was thinking about how Virgil would reveal it I think their reason for not coming out earlier would be something like "dude your life is in shambles right now I was planning to say it later so you don't have another thing to keep you up at night"

[logan-the-artist]

I saw Remus had battle scars and without looking at pic thought of trans Remus 😭

I will hold onto my trans Patton headcanon until I die. You can bury me with it. And maybe Janus to but that’s besides the point

you, my friend, have opened my eyes.

they are trans besties.

[icy-cold-bitch-latte]

How the Sides would comfort a trans reader who's feeling dysphoric

A/N: this is gender neutral so it can be read by any of my fellow trans peeps who's dysphoria has got them feeling down ✌✌

Warnings: talk of dysphoria, Remus in general lol

Patton

Patton gives you all the hugs, kisses and cuddles ever in order to cheer you up

He's very proud that you decided to tell him how you feel rather than bottling it up because he knows from personal experience that repressing your emotions does nothing but makes things worse

He's not the best at cooking but if you have a favorite go to comfort food that makes you feel better then for you he'll definitely try

He ends up wrapping you up in a ton of blankets and pillows and just lays with you on the couch for awhile

Roman

At first, Roman vows to vanquish the beast that's upsetting you...until he realizes it's not a physical threat you're facing, but a mental one

He tries to take your mind off it by telling you stories of his daring adventures, or by putting on your favorite Disney movie, whichever you prefer

He'll call you an enormous plethora of gender affirming pet names until you're basically begging him to stop, and even then he still refuses until you cave and admit what he always believed, that you're perfect in every way

Logan

Logan uses logistics to combat your insecurities by reassuring you that nobody has the power to tell you what gender you are or aren't, regardless of how you present

He makes to sure look up plenty of coping mechanisms and suggestions for how to deal with dysphoria ahead of time so he has ample knowledge and understanding for how to make you feel better

Not the best at comforting you if you happen to get emotional but he might give you a hug or something if it's clear you need one

Virgil

As a conscious being made up of anxiety, Virgil notices your panic and distress as soon as he sets foot in the same room as you (that's probably what urged him to seek you out in the first place tbh)

When you panic, he panics, but he tries to keep it together so you won't notice and get even more upset

He has several tried and true methods that always work to calm people down, so once that happens and you can explain to him what's up he understands almost immediately

If you want to talk about it, great, if not he's content to just listen to music with you and hang out until you feel better

Janus

You being upset, especially over a topic that's so serious, is not something Janus takes lightly

It may appear as though he doesn't care all that much at first due to his stoic expressions, but that's just because he's trying to think of the right thing to say

He may be the literal physical embodiment of deceit, but if you're upset he'll try his best to be honest with you about how much he cares

Brings out all six of his arms so you can have the most amount of cuddles and physical affection all at once

Remus

Remus's comforting skills leave a lot to be desired, so unless you can deal with him making the most random outrageous sex jokes in an effort to cheer you up it's probably best that you just spend some time alone for a bit

He's incredibly clingy however so it won't be long before he comes begging to you for attention, on literal hands and knees might I add

If you do let him stay with you when you're upset you should make it clear to him you're not in any sort of mood to deal with his shenanigans

He'll actually listen for once and the two of you end up pranking the other sides together until you eventually get bored and decide to watch some horror movies instead

~

Sanders Sides masterlist | 🏷 taglist: @iloveentrapta @feralwenis

[an0thergl1tch]

Obligatory pronoun/gender sanderssides headcanons because I reflect my transness onto characters I enjoy :

Patton : Ultimate he/him ally. I have a feeling he would be the type to say he doesn’t mind what pronouns are used for him but mainly for the reason he’s afraid to correct people, or he genuinely doesn’t care. I have a feeling he would really enjoy neopronouns and would be like “Thats so cute I want some too!!” (Honestly his color palette matches the demiboy flag which I think also works.)

Roman : Classic he/him himbo, however anything goes when in drag however being called a queen and a princess hits different. Confident as hell in his masculinity there is no toxicity here folks (except when Thomas was extremely closeted but we don’t talk about that.) Call him pretty and he will fall in love with you.

Logan : Honestly gives he/they agender vibes, he is way too emotionally repressed to think about his gender and his pronouns, and he mainly just dosent care. (He does care but if he thinks too hard about it he will have a crisis.) Definitely a jewelry person but is afraid to wear any incase he doesn’t look professional (LET HIM LOOK PRETTYYYY)

Virgil : Classic emo he/they, simply for the reason that the he/theys love him. He gets nervous around labels. This bitch closeted as fuck, but definetly runs a tumblr blog where he’s out and shares depressing dysphoria poetry. Is the bitch that asks janus what the gender of the day is.

Janus : This bitch nonbinary as fuck he even matches the flag. Any pronouns. Says he isn’t trans but giggles when called a pretty lady. When asked I have a feeling he would be like “bitch i have no fucking clue”. Definitely calls himself androgynous because it sounds more sophisticated. Has an identity crisis nightly and LIVES in drag to cope. Definitely catfishes straight dudes at clubs to steal their wallets and get free drinks. When asked the gender of the day he will say a very specific character description. Absolutely tortures Thomas with the idea of another identity crisis.

Remus : Genderqueer vibes (he even matches the flag). Any pronouns, ESPECIALLY neo/xenopronouns. Absolute genderfuck. Gender = HIM from the powerpuff girls. Definetly collects microlabels like pokemon cards because microlabels are cool (same.) Wears every pride pin at once to confuse homophobes. Also goes to clubs to steal people wallets and get free drinks, not by flirting but by pickpocketing them. He and janus go out on bar hopping dates.

[starry-sparky]

Very quick short headcanons for what some of the sides favorite Christmas songs are

Roman: his favorite is DEFINITELY Last Christmas by Wham! It’s got a good beat, it’s about heartbreak, it’s dramatic. He WILL sing it at the top of his lungs.

Virgil: Definitely Carol of the Bells but specifically the one by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. It’s edgy, it’s dramatic and that version has no lyrics, it’s perfect.

Patton: He says his favorite is Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, but it’s actually his second favorite. His REAL favorite one is Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, specifically the one by Judy Garland.

Remus: His top two are Santa Baby (specifically the one by Kylie Minogue because of the fact that she moans quite a bit in it) and Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer.

I couldn’t really think of which ones would be Logan and Janus’ favorites lol

@thatsthat24

[pencilpat]

Misc tidbits about the college AU! I'm working on the first part of the fic, but I want to share something about them

Roman and Remus's parents are rich. Like "my brother lives in the five room west wing of our mansion and I have the whole six room east wing" rich. They pay for Roman's house where they all stay and give him a monthly allowance that's a ridiculous amount. Remus, however, has been mostly cut off from funds and is treated like an outcast and disappointment. He was staying with Roman behind their parents' backs before being kicked out.

Virgil is pretty much the only one with a happy home life. His mums are genuinely so supportive and kind to him. He haaaates it though, he's definitely an angsty teen about their love, "get out of my room" and "ugh I don't want a hug" are common phrases. One of his mums is a trans woman, and he's their biological child.

Janus is a tea drinker and Remus is a coffee drinker, and yes, they fight about it often.

Logan was an alcoholic through her entire teenagehood and for a year of college, too. She's currently on five months of no drinking, though! They keep most of it a secret from everyone but Roman. Roman is also completely sober in solidarity.

Janus and Logan have one law class that's the same time slot, and they find themselves sitting next to each other and chatting most days. It's strange, with the strife in their friend group you'd think they would avoid each other, but since Lo talks to Remus sometimes to check up on him, they sort of see Janus as a friend by proxy. 'Proxemity friends', if you know what I mean.

Lo is sort of Roman's unwilling sugar baby. Roman constantly offers to pay for every single expense she has from rent on her apartment to a candy bar. They promptly remind him, "I am an adult with my own damn job," to which he pouts exaggeratedly. Logan has occasional moments of anger and annoyance when Roman shows that he was raised rich, such as not cleaning up around his house because "the maid will get it" or buying hundreds of dollars worth of clothes in one shopping trip.

Patton has sworn one (1) time in a life-threatening situation. No I will not elaborate.

Roman is the only cis person in the group and he never hears the end of it.

Janus was alone through most of her early school life until she met Roman and Remus by chance. At first, they bonded over similar appearing skin conditions, which quickly developed into friendships. When she and Virgil met through the twins, they hit it off instantly. They genuinely got along and related on a lot, at least the things Jan would share. Her lack of sharing any details of her personal life was concerning to all three of the others. Whenever they'd ask to hang out at her house, she'd drive them to a random place instead and say there was a change of plans. Virgil definitely noticed the sleeping bag and clothes in the back of the car. He never brought it up.

Patton and Virgil are so different, it shocks most people that they're dating. But they love each other and love just watching each other engage in their hobbies. Patton will be knitting on the couch while Virgil cuddles them and just watches how good they are at their craft, admiring them. Patton goes to every show Virgil and Roman manage to book, and they cheer so loud they lose their voice! They may be different, but their love is built on watching each other create and grow. And cuddles. Plenty of cuddles.

[variousqueerthings]

just watched Queer for Fear, a four-part documentary on a history of queer horror

it did introduce me to some movies I hadn’t seen yet, and there were some fun little analyses -- especially appreciated the nod to grace jones in vamp, but that also kinda highlighted the way it was oddly... absent of trans + gender non-conforming/fuckery/outlaw reads of horror?

it briefly touched upon the overlap between creation-of-self/frankenstein and being trans, and it had several trans and non-binary people being interviewed (+ don mancini, with chucky being right there) but if they asked them anything about transness, it was cut

especially noticeable since there was a whole episode on werewolves and no real perspective on transformation-as-trans? (it’s in the word!) only one bit of interview that compares the monstrous body in ginger snaps as relatable to growing up a trans woman (which a. warrants a whole segment and b. ought to include transmasculinity as the other side of the coin/in conversation with)

no body horror, no sleepaway camp/slasher generally, they mention psycho but don’t connect it to trans panic, they even have bound for some reason (definitely not a horror) and explicitly point out that it’s made by the wachowskis, but not silence of the lambs? 

also apparently they cut out interviews with mark patton, which is a great sadness, since there really isn’t an in-depth analysis of horror to be made without talking about nightmare on elm str. 2 -- which on that note, also loved the mention of keith haring working with grace jones + anthony perkins deep-dive, but it was like it disconnected more and more from actual queer artists making queer art as it went along + stopped dead in the 90s -- especially odd as some of those artists were right there and are making current horror! I wanna know about don mancini making the first chucky vs now (+ lachlan watson’s perspective)! I wanna hear about karyn kusama doing jennifer’s body and yellowjackets! what it felt like for misha osherovich shooting freaky, etcetcetc.

overall am glad I watched it and it gave me some more things off the back of it, but moreso as a way of making me think about what different focus I might have given it

-- I was about to end this with “considering how known at this point the links between queerness and horror are” but I have realised that this isn’t as much the case necessarily as it is in either a. film nerd spaces or b. the queer people site

(I don’t know if another season is planned for this, I may just be speaking nonsense if there’s a whole bunch of footage they saved for part two)

[vinbee631]

What Our Parents Didn't Teach Us

heyy so it's trans sides week, so I decided to write a lil something fun for that! still not used to posting fics on tumblr but the ao3 post is also available if you are interested!

without further ado, here's chapter 1! the prompt was pink / blue / white, and my interpretation was a little silly to fit the vision but it's ok

summary: Patton didn't think adopting his nephew was supposed to come with this many surprises.

But his nephew is Remus, and he's going to bring along just as many surprises as he can fit in the twenty pockets of his cargo pants, bringing a sort of enjoyable chaos that exasperates Roman and Patton to no end.

(Don't let anyone convince you that exasperation isn't fond, though. Remus' uncles are far too sappy to stay mad at him.)

The sunset shifted before Patton’s eyes, slipping from shades of bright orange to soft, pale pinks.

He didn’t normally find himself outside for the sunsets, but not for lack of trying. There was a public park just a five-minute walk from his house, with a big, open field typically occupied by at least three picnics and five or more dogs on any given day.

Unfortunately, Patton was not the average dog owner, nor a part of a young, spry couple that had ample time to plan picnic dates or walks in the park. He was well past middle age now, and with his full-time job, husband, two dogs, and permanent teenage houseguest keeping him occupied, there was not a ton of room for special activities.

That last one was the most recent addition to their slowly growing family. His husband’s nephew, Remus, had moved in just a few months earlier. The boy still attempted to insist that the arrangement was temporary, expressing a desire to support himself when he had the means to, not burdening his uncle and husband for any longer than was strictly necessary, or something along those lines.

And yet, every time Patton overheard said desire, his heart clenched a little. Remus was only fifteen, with a set of parents that didn’t even bother to call Roman after months of their child being gone for months.

He was fifteen, and emotionally prepared to take care of himself and get his own job and pay for his gender-affirming care by himself, and Patton couldn’t stand the feeling of him doing all that, by himself when he wasn’t even done with high school yet.

So, of course, he and Roman had spent the next few months making sure he was comfortable, safe, and reassured that he was absolutely not going anywhere until he was at least eighteen and truly prepared to support himself.

Remus had cried, one time Patton had enthusiastically repeated his feelings on the matter, and Patton cried along with him as they hugged each other. After that, he definitely wasn’t going anywhere.

It hadn’t been easy, not with Remus’ somewhat chaotic tendencies and his uncles’ lack of experience on the parenting front. But, the first few weeks turned into the first month, and before they knew it, winter break was over, Patton’s job was back in full swing, and they settled into a new routine.

And then, the arguments started.

Remus had his bad days, even with his uncles, and they understood that. When he snapped at them, they didn’t fall for the bait like his parents apparently used to. They talked it out instead, and typically, their nephew was able to calm down and apologize, simple enough.

For instance, when Remus had picked a fight about wanting to start back in school. After Roman pointed out they would need his parents to confirm the paperwork that would allow him to switch, he admitted the anger had been misplaced loneliness and accepted the hugs Patton offered him.

That kind of thing was easy enough to manage, and Remus was a very reasonable kid. He was usually willing to talk about whatever was bothering him with his uncles, and even occasionally offered the same to them.

It would have been far too easy if all the fights were that way.

Remus was… very enthusiastic. Passionate, that was a good word, passionate about his interests and beliefs. For the most part, that was a good thing, and it was an attribute, Patton found, that made him quite smart for his age.

It was also what led him to start sneaking out to spend time with some... less-than-stellar influences.

Don’t get them wrong, Remus was allowed to leave the house on his own. In fact, his uncles encouraged him to, considering he wasn’t getting the normal socializing time he would be in school, and the two of them could only make up for so much of that social need.

More often than not, they would offer to drive him to meet his new friends, whenever he asked to go out. Sometimes he would accept easily, sometimes he had someone picking him up, depending on the day.

His uncles were actually quite pleased about his new friends, and how he had fit in with them so easily despite just moving into the area and not attending the local school.

They were not as pleased about the graffiti, but that was something they could handle if it made Remus happy.

The destruction of public property was even less ideal, but it was technically a largely immoral corporate-based organization, so they supposed it wasn’t... the worst thing he could be doing. A little more begrudgingly, they let that slide, too.

…And then two weeks after that initial destruction- incident, Remus got arrested.

So, that was a pretty big problem.

Roman had given him most of the lecture on the way home from bailing him out, and Patton was a bit grateful he didn’t have to attempt to gather his thoughts on the matter. Mostly because he was so angry he could barely speak, but he didn’t want Remus to worry about that.

Except, maybe he should have been worrying about that because he got freaking arrested.

But, when the two of them got home, Remus had stormed up to his room, not quite slamming the door behind him, but closing it decisively enough that he knew now was not the time for another discussion.

“Did he tell you what happened?” Patton asked casually, settling on the couch next to his husband, who was currently slumped with his head in his hands.

“He didn’t, but the cops did,” Roman sighed. “The guy I talked to was involved with the backup call. I guess the group of them got caught up with a homophobe and it got heated. The one cop that patrols the area wasn’t enough to ‘get them to settle,’ so they called in more.”

“According to Remus and the others, the first cop was on the side of the guy getting his ass handed to him, which I’m not sure if I believe or not, but regardless, they all got arrested, only because one of Remus’ group punched that cop.”

“Was that-” Patton’s eyes widened in near horror before Roman was able to elaborate. “No, no, it was one of his- friends. Apparently, Remus didn’t actually throw any punches, but I know what scuffed-up knuckles look like, so the lying didn’t quite work out for him,” Roman scoffed.

Patton sighed quietly, settling his head against Roman’s shoulder. “Well, he’s alright. Obviously, we’ll have to figure out a- consequence of some kind, even if I suppose the anger was well-placed.”

Roman snorted. “I know, right? I would be having a genuinely hard time being mad at him if baling him out hadn’t cost actual money.”

The two of them had sat with that for a while, and even after Patton had inevitably stood on complaining knees to start dinner, it took quite a while for Remus to be ready to start talking.

And when he was it was… messy.

He was angry, rightfully so, and his uncles were angry, also for rightful reasons. There was an unfortunate amount of yelling, even more so when his uncles explained that he was still going to face consequences for what happened.

“But I didn’t fucking do anything wrong!” Remus snarled, pushing himself out of his chair to stand as he yelled.

“We understand that,” Patton began gently, “but if you and your friends got in enough trouble that you were arrested, something that will be on your record forever, even if it was just for the afternoon, Roman and I certainly aren’t going to congratulate you.”

Remus scoffed, folding his arms defensively. “Well, maybe the fucking pigs that did it were the ones in the wrong.”

“So, you’re saying you shouldn’t be arrested for punching an officer?”

“Not if the ‘officer’s’ a fucking bigot, no. And I didn’t even punch the cop! I punched the other guy, and he fucking deserved it.”

“Okay,” Patton continued, attempting to stop any useless bickering between Roman and Remus. The two of them had done enough of that in the car ride. “Explain to me then, since I wasn’t there: why did the other guy deserve it?”

“He was being a transphobic piece of shit, and just generally a piece of shit, actually,” Remus explained grumpily. “He was… he started flirting with Virgil. Cuz… I guess with the long hair and the tits, people still mistake him for a female.”

Patton winced at that. “I’m sorry to hear that. I don’t know that violence was the best option there, but… well, that’s not the worst thing you could punch someone about, I guess.”

Roman stared at him incredulously, but before he could voice his disagreement, Remus shook his head. “We didn’t hit first though! That’s a dumbass move. No, he hit Vee first.”

His uncles bristled in unison. “You… you didn’t tell me that in the car,” Roman stuttered.

“Would you have believed me in the car?”

Roman was forced to, honestly, shake his head. “I… I guess not.”

“Alrighty, then.” Patton stood, ushering Remus over, who accepted the hug he was offered soon after. “I suppose… as long as this isn’t a repeat incident, we can- hold off on the grounding business. I just… we would really like it if you were more careful, hun. I know bigotry is kind of impossible to avoid, but lately, it seems like you boys have just been looking for trouble.”

“I… yeah, okay. Thanks.” Despite the fact that Remus was now an inch taller than him, he felt so much smaller, curled up tightly in Patton’s arms.

He wasn’t sure when he’d become so soft for this boy, but he knew it wasn’t going away anytime soon. Not when he’d just daydreamed that entire conversation as he watched the sunset, Remus sleeping soundly in his lap.

It was much closer to dusk now. The sun was fading beyond the trees, where it would eventually taper out beyond the unseeable horizon. Stars were starting to peek out among the dark blue-ish sky, white pinpricks that managed to prick their light through the atmosphere from millions of miles away. A beautiful miracle, and all of a sudden Patton was thinking of his family again.

But, that was far too poetic to be sapping about so late at night, he decided.

“Enjoying yourself?” Patton blinked as he refocused on the park, and his husband, smiling at his question. From the way Roman smiled softly back, eyebrows furrowed just slightly, he could sense his curiosity, the lingering question of what he had been so focused on moments ago.

Instead of bothering with the long answer, Patton reached over with his free hand to squeeze Roman’s, the other busy combing through Remus' hair. He met Roman’s nervous smile with a reassuring one of his own.

“It’s absolutely perfect.”

[intrulogical]

How do u feel abt the common sexuality & gender hcs 4 the sides in human AUs? (Ex: trans man virgil, pansexual patton, bisexual roman, etc etc)

- @transfemlogan (if it isnt obvious by my URL, i lean far away from them DNDHFJFN)

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

i actually DIDN'T know this was like... a collective thing the fandom shared? but i should've expected it, especially since a lot of accidental stereotyping occurred with the fandom's collective perspective on each side's human au ethnicities.

the most common i see are pansexual patton, bisexual roman, and aro/ace logan, which i think are perfectly valid actually! i especially don't mind if the hc was created because you're projecting your own sexualities on the characters.

but in some cases, some... stereotyping does happen. like how pansexual people = the most outgoing, bubbliest types, bisexuals = cooler, flirtier types, and aro/ace = stoic and unemotional. i see this most problematic with logan and aro/ace hc's, because it feeds into the idea that aro/ace people don't "feel" or are less emotional. again, it's okay if you're these sexualities projecting onto the characters, but if you aren't, definitely check some unconscious biases you may be accidentally setting.

either way, i don't fully agree or disagree— it just depends on the context why.

[sanderssidesthehouse]

He IS a good guy! And it's so interesting to me how each of the 'dark' sides feels differently about being or playing a villain, with Virgil definitely disliking it the most as a concept but still having trouble leaving it completely behind. It's a really interesting look at imposed identity and I am trans so... Now that I've thought about this, post incoming.

The way that they're going right now I'd love to even see him be the voice of reason when Orange pops in. I think Virgil is currently the only one who all of them will listen to/can make them listen (save for Remus but idk if he'll be there bc I'm not sure what his presence would add to the narrative of that episode but actually now I'm thinking about it, you should stop letting me think about things, I'll never stop).

Also I do love "The Dark Side of Disney" as well as "My NEGATIVE Thinking" for Virgil. He's playing with his new friends! <3 They like him! And he's so happy about it!

And his friendship with Patton is so special to him, you can tell. Patton was the first person to want to include him, and with open arms, too! Patton treated him like he was someone easy to love, even if he went a bit overboard.

But yeah him and Patton together accidentally caused a lot of harm and now Patton is cool with Janus and he's going to feel guilty and mad and sad and I feel bad bc it has to be a problem for it to get better. I want him to be able to play with his friends again. Someone give him a hug, he's had a rough few episodes.

For the ask game, i would love to see your opinions on Virgil!

Ask and ye shall receive!

The smaller dots mean a particular option didn't resonate as much with me but still did a little. Virgil was my vent fic muse back in the day and also still a little bit now. Fun fact: I am an anxious mess most of the time so really he's just free real estate. I will put that guy in situations and no one can stop me.

Funny thing is I think he's the most stable side at the current point in canon which is like... someone please help them. But I think it has somewhat to do with him being closest to having a complete arc (until new stuff is revealed perhaps). His current issues have been addressed for the most part, save his history with the 'dark' sides.

He's also an easy comfort bc in my opinion he's the simplest of the sides (what you see is what you get), likely due to his hatred of lying. He's anxious, he's Anxiety, that's his thing. He's also Virgil and he's emo and I can vibe with that. Someone has to be stable (kind of) around here!

On my list of things I'm excited for, number two is seeing how his deal with Janus and Remus plays out and seeing how big of a role he'll play when the next (last?) 'dark' side shows his face. This is big for me personally. I need to know! Also how is he going to feel about Patton working with Janus? They were besties and honestly I hope it's messy bc I love drama that doesn't effect me, it's my toxic trait/j. But I would also love if Virgil put aside his feelings about Janus to support Patton bc that's his famILY and he needs help.

I am always open to hearing other people's opinions and I love talking blorbos so I'd love to hear if you or anyone feels the same or differently!

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Fic title: cuddles, cramps, and kisses

Trans Virgil and Trans Dee (named Honey because fight me, Honey is an adorable name) have officially synced their periods. Patton, Roman, and Logan cuddle their boyfriends to make them feel better.

Definitely gonna write this one.

[xakumi]

Favorite part of my Florida Trip? Dressing up as Patton. Definitely.

[remuscore]

You’re right on some accounts lol

I get bored and I draw headshots for fun. Plus profiles are so fucking fun to play around with.

Here we have the looks of all the tb gang from teen/before the story, in the story, and a year after the story.

I adore how cursed half the teens are lol

[tssidesfics]

TSSides Anti-Fairytale AU

I’m not coming for fairytales. They have their place, but as an aromantic person...I do not feel seen. And then I decided to re-watch Enchanted (pirated, of course, because fuck Disney). And then this idea happened. 

Patton was a child-king who married his best friend when forced to, and then she died in childbirth. He’s given Roman everything he could, but he’s lived his life dictated by the advisors who’ve used him as a puppet king his whole rule. He’s miserable because he doesn’t like how the system functions but he thinks he’s chained to tradition.

Roman copes with his complicated relationship with his father by questing and almost dying, like, every other week. Anxious attachment for days. Boy keeps trying very hard to find a princess and can’t seem to figure out why nothing will stick. To which Patton goes “oh. He got it from me. Oops.”

All I know is Remus is aromantic and aplatonic and exactly as chaotic as he should be.

Roman’s birthday. Ball. The classic. He greets all the noble families and he’s seen those losers a bunch before, but this time, he meets a new “girl” with a family he usually hates who intrigues him. He is not a girl and I will not be misgendering him because ew, but, gist: Virgil, transphobic rich parents forcing him to conform to gender roles, absolutely miserable, in Peak Bitch (gender-neutral) form. Roman mistakenly believes he’s cured and talks Virgil up a lot. Convinces himself he’s fallen madly in love.

Problem is, he tells Patton, who’s shocked he found a “girl” but absolutely is on-board, and then goes to the family to ask for Virgil’s hand and there’s no Virgil.

Thus begins the Mulan ripoff but openly trans where Virgil poses as a boy servant at the castle because his parents can’t get into the castle willy-nilly and it’s the safest place to be. Absolutely loathes Roman’s very existence because that dumb bitch flirted with him while he was a girl and therefore VIrgil thinks he is The WorstTM. Then Roman catches him grouching about and decides to solve this by teaching him sword-play, mostly to give him the excuse to beat on a dummy with a sword-shaped stick. 

Meanwhile Roman is just le sigh I did it again. I connected more with a boy than a girl. Why did she have to run away? Now I’m doomed to be weird.

Well then assassins break into the castle and Ever-Paranoid Virgil immediately susses them out as bad news and uses the remnants of the ball to absolutely wreck them when they try to kill Roman and his father while they’re taking a rare opportunity to chat and bond. Patton decides he is Adopting This Child, fuck you, advisors, he’s as thin as a stick, and Virgil now gets to eat with the royal family. 

It’s the first time Patton has ever actually told his advisors to go fuck themselves. It’s the first step toward a positive turnaround and it happened because Patton’s dad instincts took over and nothing in the world is more valid than that, fight me.

Enter genderqueer icon morally neutral witch, Janus, all pronouns, who’s trying to topple the monarchy to enact lasting change and didn’t want to dirty her hands right away, but honestly people are so unreliable. So he gets onto Patton’s crew as a handmaiden and excuse you who gave the king permission to be actually endearing?

Roman feels slightly weird because Patton’s calling Virgil “kiddo” and he’s not calling him his son but he also treats him very similarly as he does to Roman and Remus, which isn’t great but is significantly better than it could be, but Roman’s got a crush. 

Then Janus finds out Virgil’s trans and reveals this. Virgil thinks he’s about to get blackmailed into murdering the only people who have ever cared about him and then Janus just rolls their eyes like “excuse you I’m evil not psychopathic. I can give you a potion to make your body reflect your mind. You in?”

“Great, so my only cure to stop feeling like frozen trash reheated in a forest fire is to accept the highly dangerous bribe of a definitely evil witch! Thanks! I hate it!”

Yes Virgil memes even in a fantasy world where Tumblr doesn’t exist.

Also Virgil and Roman are bonding. A lot. They’re getting very close and Virgil even lets slip that he loves Roman and then tries to fling himself out a window. Roman gets touched, stops him, and tries to kiss him, but Virgil leans away. Roman expresses confusion.

“I...I love you, but I don’t want to kiss you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I don’t either. But I’ve...never wanted to kiss anyone. For any reason.”

“But...you still love me?”

“I do. I’m sorry.”

Roman...doesn’t feel as rejected as he thinks he maybe should? Honestly, it’s not totally a relief, but it’s just kinda...neutral. It’s not even a disappointment. 

Well, Janus is not evil and actually wants to run a kingdom (instating a committee mixed of educated rich fucks and working class receiving education) a whole lot more than Patton, who thinks she’s just...kinda awesome and very misunderstood. There’s a lot of hissing and grumbling that they’re not misunderstood, they’re evil, they don’t even have a tragic backstory, they just kill people to enact the change they want to see, just because they got ditched in a forest as a baby and was raised by a magic snake means nothing. The snake was a very loving and supportive parent.

Roman talks to Patton and Patton is like “fuck marriage rules. Fuck heteronormativity. Fuck my advisors. My kingdom is a haven for the gays. All the gays. Of every color. Come here and be merry and queer.”

Virgil’s just like “yo no reason but in this new world where it’s okay to love whatever gender is it maybe cool to be a boy when the world says you’re a girl?”

Janus draws a knife and glares at Patton and Patton’s just like “even if my partner wasn’t threatening to kill me I’d say it was fine why?”

“No reason.”

“Virgil.”

“What?”

“Is there something you want to share?”

“No.”

“Is there something you need to share?”

“Fuck you.”

“You’re being defensive again, Storm Grouch.”

Virgil sticks his tongue out. “Fine. People used to think I was a girl and I have a stupid body. Happy?”

And Patton learns from Janus the fine art of Validating The Fuck Out Of Gender.

The advisors stage a coop and lock Janus in an anti-magic cage, and then at the same time Virgil’s biological nightmares track him down and steal a spelled green apple from Janus’ shop they give Virgil. You know the drill. Deep sleep like death, yadda yadda.

Well, they immediately claim the body making a big dramatic deal about how they have to bury “her” and they’ll take “her” home to see her off and it’s so tragic, just as they were reunited, when the reality is they have the antidote back home, they’re just looking for control over his life again.

Except Roman goes off. “He is staying here where he--where he will be buried under the name Virgil dressed properly and if you came anywhere near his body I’ll kill you myself.”

Guess what constitutes a totally platonic, non-kiss related act of queerplatonic true love, bitch? Fighting your transphobic partner’s parents over their dead body.

Kingdom’s retaken, sweeping reform while Patton retires to be a stay at home dad to fix his relationship with his kids. Virgil gets formerly adopted. The stepparent is actually a morally neutral genderqueer witch who runs the kingdom fairly and justly, the central love story is trans and aromantic, and my queer ass is something resembling happy.

Logan is probably one of the advisors and the only one with sense who probably starts knocking off his coworkers after the coop because they’re all deeply, deeply stupid. Remus probably spends half the story making friends with a troll he brings in to save the day in the third act.

[iclaimedtobethebetterbard]

Has logan met patton? I know he knows who patton is but i dont know if theyve ever met. And if they HAVENT r u going 2 write it in2 the story bcuz id love 2 read logan meeting janus' & remus' little boy

hehehe yes he has and in response to ur tags about that on the other post: yes we absolutely are getting a scene like that at some point <3 very likely more than one actually

[ask me questions abt the backstories/lore for my if you’re going my way, i’ll go with you fic]

as per usual for this series, extensive ramble under the cut. cw for talk abt pregnancy and birth, which i personally think is the coolest stuff ever but ik some people get squicked by it.

so basically. logan met janus when they were 15-almost-16 and about 4-5 months pregnant with patton. logan was 24 at the time, and had pretty solidly established himself as one of the most powerful young heroes around, and was visiting the super school to meet with high school students and see if he thought any of them would be a good apprentice, bc he thought that could be a neat thing to do. one of janus’s teachers was uhhh an awful person who should Not have been allowed in a position of power over children, and janus had the misfortune of being one of their least favorites. this teacher like pulled logan aside and told him not to even bother interviewing janus and like implied that janus was definitely going to be a supervillain because of like personal moral failings or whatever. logan was like “hm. that’s a very assholeish thing to say about a child. i don’t like that” and instead of taking the teacher’s advice he interviewed janus first out of any student in the school and baaaasically offered them the apprenticeship on the spot. janus was confused by this because. his shapeshifting didn’t work while he was pregnant. so they essentially had no access to their powers for another 4-5 months still and were like “why would you ask me to work with you what.” however she was also like. Not Having A Fun Time at school, they were being bullied over their pregnancy and especially over not having powers because of the pregnancy, and the idea that she would “have” to be a supervillain was being thrown around a lot. he was honestly on the verge of dropping out and becoming a villain because he felt like he just did not have any other options. but then logan showed up and was like “come be my apprentice.” and janus accepted the offer. partly to spite their classmates & teacher and prove them wrong, and also just. logan was nice and didn’t talk down to janus and clearly wanted to help her reach her full potential which none of the other adults in her life were doing at that point. 

so janus became logan’s apprentice, and logan was like “yeah we can kind of put your responsibilities for that on hold for a little while until you get your powers back.” supers who take on apprentices are expected to ensure that their apprentices also complete the remainder of their education in between their hero work, so he suggested janus focus on that first and then the apprentice stuff later, instead of doing them simultaneously like most people do. he also found out that janus had like. no plans for how to handle having a kid or what they wanted their birth experience to be like or anything, they had just decided they wanted to keep the pregnancy and didn’t really know where to go from there, and didn’t have a ton of support to help them figure that out either. so logan was like “i guess i will just teach myself everything about how childbirth works really quick here” and. did lol. and helped janus make a plan. i have a SpIn in pregnancy and childbirth (i really want to become a doula and work with queer and trans expecting parents), and me and all my siblings were homebirths so that’s what i’m most closely familiar with, and also for most pregnancies homebirths are actually a really really good option (imo often the best option), so bc that’s what i’m best equipped to write, that is what janus decides to do lol. and i could have logan help them find a midwife which would probably be more realistic, but im more leaning towards logan just being janus’s midwife/doctor/whatever for the pregnancy himself because i think that would be very cute and this is a superhero au it doesn’t have to be realistic i can do what i want. and like. logan being the one who catches patton when he’s born would be SO so cute and good. like. like he is the first person who ever held patton. how precious is that. and then he immediately passed him over to janus and helped them nurse him and emphasized that skin-to-skin contact is VERY important for babies n their parents, especially in the very first few hours of life. so janus pretty much just got to hold patton the whole entire time as soon as he was born, except for a quick minute to do his apgar tests, and then again just another quick minute to put a diaper on him. and logan was the one who cut his umbilical cord. <33 and janus like. had a pretty tough labor, i think it was probably about 16 hours, so she was Exhausted and doesn’t remember most of it, but he very clearly remembers holding patton for the first time and just being Overwhelmed by how Tiny he was and being like Oh My God I Made That. and then they also pretty clearly remember just holding patton for a while after that. and after everything was all done she finally got to sleep still holding him. and aaaaaaaaaaaaaa i have so many feelings abt this all. birth is so cool and good and delightful.

ALL OF THIS TO SAY that patton is essentially the reason that logan and janus had the opportunity to get so close with each other in the first place, and logan is 100% one of the most important adults in patton’s life!!!!! patton calls logan uncle logan <3

logan also is one of those people who talks to babies and children pretty much exactly the same way he talks to adults, so he has frequently given patton like. college-level lectures on quantum physics or whatever, in response to patton asking barely-related questions like “what kind of flower is this” lol. (please imagine one of baby patton’s early words being “desalinate” because logan once spent six months coming up with a more efficient way for desalination plants to run and would ramble about his progress to baby patton.) patton as a result of this habit of logan’s now has a delightful mishmash of random factoids that he knows and will spout off randomly (confusing teachers very much about how did he know that), as well as vague semi-understandings of random facets of the stuff logan has talked about (he can kind of explain complex chemical reactions, or imaginary numbers, or certain aspects of calculus, for instance, but it will definitely be confusing to anyone listening because he lacks a lot of the necessary vocabulary and all of the background information that most people get Before they learn about those things, so he doesn’t 100% understand the Why behind it all even if he is correctly explaining it), and also a lot of adorable childish misunderstandings of the stuff logan has talked about (he definitely thought for a long time that when logan talked about “atoms” he was saying “adams” and was just like “okay, i guess people named adam are just really important to science.” stuff like that).

getting babysat by logan is one of patton’s Favorite things, because he always has So much fun and logan always has something new and interesting for them to do together!!! logan is also Way easier than janus is for patton to talk into things like letting him stay up past his bedtime. logan is Much weaker to patton’s pleading baby face than janus is. logan will vehemently deny this if it comes up lol. janus thinks it is very funny and cute. again: they are all a precious lil found family together <33333 i love them all sm gsjhdfkghsdlkfghaks

[deceptive-jo]

Pride Month Headcanons - How they celebrate

I made an Orientation hc post forever ago

Iplier Egos

There's pride flags all over the house (mainly hanging from the railing above the entrance area)

It's not a set date but during this month there's always an influx in experimentation with pronouns, identity, looks etc.

They all go to the Pride Parade together

You can expect to hear 'Born this way' being blasted througout the house at least once per day

Bim Trimmer

The one plasting 'Born this way'

The Flag Goes On The Door

Has a pride themed outfit prepared for everyday

Always manages to rope some Egos into a talk-show round where they share about their experiences

Illinois

When he's away he makes a point in spending at least a day at that countries pride celebration (if there are any)

Yancy

Pride wasn't a deal in prison so he's not used to celebrating

Doesn't do a whole lot but he hangs up the rainbow flag Illinois got him in the hallway

Silver

Main protection service during the parade

Alters his costume with more rainbow colour (+ rainbow cape of course)

Author

Definitely has flags he hangs up outside the cabin

Always writes at least one LGBTQ-special every year (the protagonist's a LGBTQ-phobe of course, it's a very clear message)

Host

Uses his platform to spread awareness and support, especially for his younger listeners

Sometimes does a QnA, usually with Bim or Author

Dr Iplier

Always takes little flags with him to the clinic, to decorate the office and breakroom with

Eric

Not very loud about it but he has some nice polos with small rainbows/colourful collars the others got him that he likes to wear

Septic Egos

They hang up a flag outside of the house

Some surfaces randomly turn into pride flags due to Marvin

Jackieboy Man

Joins Silver on parade watch

Changed his costume too, with more trans colours

Marvin the Magnificent

Just as extra as Bim

His bedroom and dressing room at the studios are leaking with purple, pink and blue

Chase Brody

Always looks for kids books & movies with good representation

Sometimes takes his kids with Bing to spray Pride art onto some old buildings

Sanders Sides

So. Many. Rainbows.

Rainbow roof, rainbow windows, rainbow flags, everything. Roman goes all out

They have fun wearing some variation of their outfits with their own flags

Patton

Always bakes rainbow-related goods (cookies, cake, you name it) and distributes them around the neighbourhood