#but pattons like eh

[lefaystrent]

One random day, Patton declares he is going on vacation. He will be leaving the mindscape for awhile, and it's up to the rest of the gang to hold down the fort while he's gone.

"You're Thomas's sense of Morality; you can't just go on vacation," Logan points out.

Patton's grin goes a little too wide, his eyes a little too intense. "Watch me."

Remus bobs his head up and down to check him out. "Since when do you do the ominous thing? I thought that was my thing. Are we playing around with each other's thingies?"

"No–thing wrong with switching things up now and then," Patton says cheerfully.

Virgil squints. "Are you Deceit in disguise?"

"I am sitting right next to you, Virgil," Janus points out. "Also, I wouldn't be caught dead in a floral print."

"Are you going to Hawaii? Without me?!" Roman demands, eyeing Patton's– well, Hawaiian shirt he's donned on rather than his usual polo.

"Now, now Roman, this is nothing personal kiddo. I'm just taking some much needed me-time. So I'll need to take this journey alone."

"Oh thank God," Janus mutters while Logan blinks rapidly, flabbergasted. Logan spits out, "We are all personified pieces of one man's personality. By the nature of our existence, you can't be alone."

"That's quitter talk," Remus butts in. He literally turns and shows them his butt for some reason, though thankfully with pants still on. "Want me to yeet you out the door, Daddy-o? See how far you can go? Or maybe load you into a ballista and send you hurtling to a beautiful bludgeoning death?"

"No thanks, bud," Patton says far too good-naturedly. "Our dear lord in Heaven gave me two perfectly good legs to walk with. I think I'll be fine."

"You're serious? Just– what, gonna walk out the door?" Virgil questions sharply. Skeptical he may be, he seems somewhat interested in seeing how far Patton will take this bit.

"Absolutely! There's a whole big wide world out there! So much to do! So much to see!"

"So what's wrong with taking the back steets," both Remus and Roman sing at the same time.

"You guys will be fine for a while without me. But just in case you miss me, I have provided each of you with your very own Patton Pal."

They each look down into their hands where a small, stuffed version of Patton materializes. It has stitched in glasses, a removable Cardigan, and its mouth is in the shape of a heart.

"What," they all respond collectively.

"If you feel lonely or need a hug, you just give your Patton Pal there a good ole squeeze! That should tide you over until I get back. Anyways, I'm gonna skeddadle now. Bye! Love you!"

And Patton walks out the front door.

Dad has left the building.

Roman ponders with pursed lips, "Sooo, did we just get abandoned?"

"Nah, I'm sure he's just gone out to pick up some milk."

"Thank you, Remus."

Virgil rises up from the couch and strides over to the door in a huff. "Alright Pat, you can come out now."

The door swings open. A brick wall is revealed where there once was not one.

"Uhhh, guys?" Virgil asks the group, stepping back. Unconsciously, he grips his Patton Pal a little tighter.

"What in the Chris Angel Mindfreak?" Remus questions and taps at the brick. His nail makes a scraping sound along the mortar. Curious, he examines his finger and licks it.

"Did he trap us in the Mindscape?" Roman asks, squeezing in between his brother to test the solidity of the wall. It is indeed a wall.

"Is this his villain origin story?"

Janus rolls his eyes at the twins. "Patton's just serious for a change, that's all. He doesn't want to be followed, and obviously he must be out hanging with Thomas. Really now, have some sense."

"You do know who you're talking to, right?" Virgil asks him waving at the twins, to which Janus gives a saucy, "Touche."

Logan sighs and begins ascending the stairs.

"What, you're just gonna leave too?" Virgil calls after him.

"I have work to do, as I'm sure the rest of you do. Patton will return once he tires of this stunt."

Logan is gone and now it's just the four of them.

"Someone's salty about being abandoned," Roman comments too loudly.

"FALSEHOOD!"

"Alllll byyyyy myseeeelffff," Remus sings off-key.

Virgil debates whether to follow Logan up or try a window next. He stares down into the beady, button eyes of his Patton Pal doll.

"Need a hug?" Janus asks him teasingly, watching him.

Virgil scoffs and shoves the plush into his hoodie pocket. It's bulky, but it fits.

Will it stay there?

Will Patton ever return?

Will the sides use this time to overcome their differences and bond as a true family?

Find out next time on "Episodes From The Mindscape"!

The screen flicks off.

[lycheeleeches]

*Grabby hands* baby sides?? Little sides??? Pllleasssse

haha I tried

I absolutely need more practice on drawing babies/ little kids

[myapathyhaspeaked]

sometimes i watch dwit and get to the part where patton’s like “into what?” when they’re talking about the split and like…really patton? you don’t know, just based off pure context and the fact that there are two creativities?

whether patton caused/knows what caused the split or was even there when it happened, that’s not the question, i’m wondering if y’all think he actually had no idea what the answer was to thomas’ question (which he misheard and also was rhetorical but still).

so…

if you want to see the clip, it’s 14:40 of dwit

[nico-the-overlord]

Patton for the Blorbo bingo

No bingo but my gosh I love this game SO much

[logically-asexual]

i did this a while ago mostly as an exercise that, although imperfect*, works as an attempt to prove that the sides are all opposites to each other.

most people accept it as canon that each side must have their respective opposite in established pairs. but you can pick whichever pair you want and you’ll find that they’re opposites in some aspects, the same in others, and just generally different in others. and you can even do it with pairs of partners and groups of three.

i think finding out how different pairs or groups are opposites is a fun and interesting way of analyzing, but arguing that a single side is the True Single Opposite of another usually reduces their characters to fit in boxes that don’t really fully encompass them. all of them and their relationships are much more complex than that.

some people fall asleep counting sheep. i fall asleep counting all the ways you can divide the Sides into two groups of 3 and trying to come up with a name for each, based on something each trio has in common.

[delimeful]

in sickness and in health (8)

warnings: captivity, arguing, remus talking about remus things, panic, gratuitous amount of puns, lmk if i missed any

-

“What’s going on?”

The impromptu staredown between all three humans was interrupted by Roman hurriedly leaning obnoxiously far over the counter, bodily blocking Patton’s view of the two borrowers.

“Patton!” he blurted, clearly aiming for a casual air and instead landing somewhere in the realm of ‘stewing in blatant panic and guilt’. “Hello there, what an unexpected and lovely surprise to see you here, in… the kitchen of your own home.”

Next to him, Virgil heard the small, distinct thwap of his fellow borrower’s palm meeting their face.

“…What’s going on?” Patton repeated, sounding far more awake this time.

“Extremely normal, non-fairy-related things,” Roman answered, visibly sweating.

“Extremely bloody Dionysian orgies,” Remus said at the same time, considerably louder.

Virgil could see just enough of Patton’s expression to watch the way it crinkled in a sort of morose confusion.

“In the kitchen?” he asked, voice pained, as though that was his main problem with the suggestion.

“If there aren’t any knives involved, can any orgy really be called Dionysian?” Remus replied in a faux-wise tone, lifting his arm to make a deeply inappropriate gesture in accompaniment with his words. This technically cleared the way back to the wall, but as it turned out, only for a moment.

Before either of them could get too hopeful about any chance of escape, Remus ended the gesture by quickly clapping his hands over the both of them in a makeshift dome shape.

Next to him, the other borrower only flinched a bit, but Virgil couldn’t help the outright squeak he made at the sudden limbs dropping down over them.

There was another pause from the humans above them, this one distinctly more harried.

“Um, guys?” Patton’s voice had gone from confused to concerned. “What was—?”

“Broken whoopee cushion,” Remus insisted. “Filled it with mayonnaise, you know how it goes.”

“He sneezed!” Roman added, his voice sliding up a few pitches. “Gesundheit, Remus! Totally nothing strange about that— Padre, wait!”

There were big steps drawing closer, now, and Remus’s hands cinched in a little tighter around the two of them. They were forced to huddle even closer together, and the other borrower’s bony elbow collided with his side in a way he wasn’t convinced was accidental.

He shot them a glare, which they returned with an expression that was equal parts indignant and frantic. After a second, they forced a barely-there whisper through grit teeth. “It’s your human. Will he hurt us?”

“How am I supposed to know?!” Virgil hissed back, just as quiet. “I didn’t ever get caught before you showed up!”

Not while the human was conscious enough to remember it, anyhow.

The other borrower’s eyes narrowed into slits, reminding Virgil that he probably shouldn’t be antagonizing the guy that already proved themself willing to try and murder him once. Before they could respond, though, the conversation over their heads continued.

“Guys,” Patton said, sounding stern. “What have we said about wrangling critters in my home?”

“That it was a firmly banned activity after the Great Frog Croak-tastrophe?” Roman guessed sheepishly. “And, y’know, that was certainly a fair and just ruling for that situation, however—!”

“Nuh-uh, I don’t wanna hear it,” Patton replied, unwavering. Virgil could practically envision the way his human was standing from his tone alone: hands on his hips, eyebrows raised expectantly. “Frog or not, I’m sure whatever you two caught will be much hoppier once they’re released safely outside, right Remus?”

“Eh, you might not feel the same after you see them, Pattycakes,” Remus warned. “I know I’m usually the harbinger of pests, wrangler of rats, champion of centipedes, but not even I know what to do about these guys.”

There was the shuffle of clothing, like Patton was shifting in place, and he sighed. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to figure it out together, huh?”

There was a moment of hesitation where Virgil assumed the twins were exchanging a wordless meaningful look, as they so often did, and then the distinct slide of glass across a countertop.

The moment the hands around them twitched, Virgil shifted into a crouched position, drawing his legs under him and preparing to bolt the moment there was space, even if it was probably totally futile. Next to him, he could feel the other borrower doing much the same.

Rather than lift off of them, however, the hands shifted to pinch even closer together, forming the shape of a spade, like a pair of nut shells that had been glued back together at the edges, leaving a hollow space inside. The two of them were forced to scramble upwards into the hold or get limbs stuck in between the sides of Remus’s palms as he scooped them up off the counter completely.

Virgil’s stomach dropped at the upwards movement, completely out of his control, and he reached out and latched onto the side of the other borrower’s shirt with a white-knuckled grip. They were still at least a little concussed, and Virgil wasn’t letting them get separated now, not when he’d already gotten himself into the most terrifying situation in his life saving them. Wherever they were going, they’d at least be stuck in it together.

To his surprise, the other borrower gripped him right back.

After only a few seconds, they were lowered and deposited onto a familiar smooth surface. Virgil grit his teeth at the feeling, resisting the urge to scream in frustration. He’d just gotten out of this stupid glass pitcher!

He didn’t get much time to seethe indignantly, however, because the moment Remus’s hands pulled away, there were much bigger problems to face.

Three of them, to be precise.

Heart in his throat, Virgil slowly lifted his head to look up at the face of his human, warped through the curve of the glass.

With a confused furrow to his brow, Patton moved to take a step closer, and then stopped short as the sight before him properly registered. His hand flew up to cover his mouth, his eyes widening with surprise. “Oh my!”

“I toad you so,” Remus interjected unhelpfully.

Roman cuffed his shoulder, and Remus immediately jabbed two fingers into Roman’s side in retaliation. It was only a firm warning look from Patton that kept them from devolving into another slap fight during the most terrifying moment of Virgil’s life.

Virgil shifted to stand, shuffling back until he didn’t have to crane his neck so painfully to make eye contact. Humans were so big, and it had never been more evident than it was now, staring up at giants.

Staring up at Patton. He was pretty sure he’d had a nightmare that had gone exactly like this. Well, minus the concussed would-be assassin. And the frog puns.

Patton, for his part, had developed a genuinely distressed twist to his features as he took in the sight of the two of them. After a moment of wavering, his gaze settled firmly on Virgil, sending a prickling sense of alarm up his spine.

“Hello again,” said Patton, smiling at him.

Virgil froze. The borrower behind him froze. Even the twins froze for a moment, before their heads both snapped around to stare at Patton with eerie synchronization.

“You know them?!” two voices asked, in two very different tones.

Virgil felt dread drop into his gut like a stone down a sewer grate. There was no way.

“I know one of them,” Patton answered, unperturbed by everyone’s shock. “That’s the little guy who helped take care of me while I was sick!”

He lifted a hand in demonstration and wiggled his fingers, the healing burns on them still visibly shiny.

The twins gaped. “He what?”

Behind him, in a far more bewildered tone, the other borrower echoed them: “You what?”

“You shut up,” Virgil muttered sourly without turning to look at them. His heart was practically shaking in his ribcage, knowing that the human had remembered all along, that Patton had returned home well-aware of the intruder in his walls.

The realization felt chilling, like a thimble of icy water had been dumped down his shirt. Patton hadn’t acted strange at all, hadn’t cast any speculative glances at the walls or scanned any shelves for undersized intruders. The twins and their ghost-hunting equipment clearly hadn’t known the truth, so why would Patton? Virgil hadn’t even suspected.

Who knew what would have happened after Roman and Remus left, and it was only the two of them, with Virgil blissfully unaware of the danger he was in?

Well. Caught like this, he supposed he was going to find out soon.

Patton’s smile faded, carefully watching the way Virgil’s chest was visibly shuddering with too-shallow breaths.

“You thought I froggot, huh?” he said, looking inexplicably sad. “I thought about it while I was in the hospital, and I kinda figured we’re really not supposed to know about you guys. That means it was pretty darn brave of you to try and help me anyways.”

Virgil swallowed, fear sticking in his throat. He didn’t know what to say. He certainly didn’t feel brave.

The other borrower stepped up to be at his side, ignoring Virgil’s reflexive attempt to shoulder them back behind him.

“I suppose the saying is true, then.” They paused, narrowing their eyes in a silent challenge. “No good deed goes unpunished.”

The encompassing flourish they made was a little wobbly, as though their balance was still off, but it got the point across: Patton had recovered from his illness, and they were stuck in a pitcher on his counter.

Virgil’s incredulity at the other borrower was enough to snap him out of the worst of his frozen terror, his head whipping to the side to stare at them.

They were insane. They had to be, using such sharp words and an even sharper tone with a human. This was just about the worst time to instigate an argument. The two of them were stuck in a pitcher on his counter!

Unsurprisingly, neither of the twins looked particularly happy with the accusatory turn the conversation had taken. Patton had been their friend for a long time. They had always jumped at the opportunity to defend him from harm in the past, and Virgil doubted that would change now.

For all their tomfoolery, the two of them could be downright vicious when they were angry. If they were willing to tear fellow humans a new one for messing with Patton, it was gruesome to imagine what they’d do to a pair of borrowers. They’d already been terrifying enough when they’d only been curious about him.

Before either of them could begin to speak, however, Patton nodded once, almost to himself, and pivoted to face his friends.

“Howsabout you two get started on cleaning up the living room so we can settle down and get some proper sleep?” he asked, the request firm enough that it was clearly more of an instruction than a suggestion.

Both twins started protesting immediately, looking extremely put out at the idea of abandoning Patton with their exciting new find. They were talking over each other, the words tangling and becoming an indecipherable mess by the time they reached Virgil, but he was fairly certain he heard phrases like “—but I’ll only lie awake haunted by fairy law and order,” and, “—you can’t keep me away from my new pyromaniac bestie!” in the mix.

“Mhmm, yup, we can discuss all of that later,” Patton replied stoutly, ushering the two of them towards the entrance to the kitchen with insistent sweeping gestures, like a shepherd with his herd. “There’ll be plenty of time to talk over breakfast in the morning, but it’s getting late, so hop to it!”

“We’re being banished with frog puns! This is an amphibian atrocity,” Roman bemoaned.

“Froggin’ unbelievable,” Remus agreed. 

However, even with all their complaints, they seemed to understand that Patton wasn’t budging this time, and reluctantly allowed themselves to be shooed out of the kitchen like the world’s noisiest sheep.

At Virgil’s shoulder, the other borrower took the opportunity to lean in while the humans were across the room.

“You ‘didn’t ever get caught,’ hmm?” they asked, still far too smug considering the situation they were in.

A muscle in Virgil’s eye twitched. Despite everything, he wasted a moment considering the merits of trying to inflict another head injury on his fellow captive. They’d been a lot more tolerable with the beginnings of a concussion.

“Do you want to go back to trying to stab each other?” he snapped instead, stepping pointedly away even as he made the thinly-veiled threat. “Because it seems like you want to go back to trying to stab each other.”

“Oh, I’m so terrified,” they replied drolly, crossing their arms. “Won’t someone save me from the horrible Monoxide assassin and his entirely genuine threats?”

Virgil stared at them for a moment, disbelieving. “You know, I think I actually liked you better when you were trying to murder me in cold blood.”

“Don’t lose hope. Maybe I’ll try again later,” they retorted with a dangerous glint in their eye, and then they were both falling silent as Patton approached once more.

Out of the corner of his eye, Virgil caught the contemplative frown that flashed over the other borrower’s face, the only glimpse of their consternation at facing down a human. They may have had plans aplenty to deal with the twins, but Patton was clearly more of an unknown to them.

…Virgil knew Patton. He’d spent enough time watching the human to get attached, grown familiar enough with Patton’s life to cheer on his efforts and fret over his disappointments. He should be able to find the right words to get them out of this, convince his human the way the other borrower had effortlessly fooled Roman, but… he couldn’t.

It was impossible to think up a strategy for this situation. How could he possibly reconcile Patton, the guy who helped organize weekly PTA bake sales and volunteered to look after kittens he was allergic to and cried when he saw roadkill, with a human who knew, who would keep them trapped, who needed to be pleaded with for their release?

How was he supposed to bargain with a monster if he couldn’t even accept that the monster existed?

“I’m sorry if the twins frightened you,” Patton said, voice lowered to a softer volume. “They tend to be very exuberant, but they don’t mean any harm.”

The other borrower looked as though they were on the brink of scoffing at the very idea that they couldn’t handle Roman and Remus, a defensive slant to their shoulders.

“Why?” The word tumbled from Virgil’s mouth without his permission, his shoulders hunching under the undivided focus of Patton’s gaze.

“Why what?” he asked, tilting his head slightly like a confused dog.

“If you knew,” Virgil forced out, fingernails digging into his palms, “why didn’t you tell them? Or— or look for me?”

Understanding settled onto Patton’s expression, and he hummed thoughtfully, as though considering how to phrase his answer.

“If you wanted to be seen, you would have come out and said hi,” he finally said, simply. “You saved my life by calling for help. If you wanted to stay a secret, the least I could do is make sure to keep that secret safe.”

Virgil blinked up at him, trying to force the words into a configuration that made sense. Humans didn’t just let mysteries exist, especially not ones that were so easy to grab ahold of.

“I won’t lie and say I’m not awfully curious about you,” Patton continued, and his hand was reaching out for the handle of the pitcher and surely, this was the moment that it all came crashing down—, “but you can’t force a friendship. Especially not like this!”

Slowly, in gentle increments, the pitcher was shifted to lay on its side, the open end facing away from Patton. It was practically a straight shot to the closest wall entrance, their freedom waiting where the back of the counter met the kitchen wall.

They’d been prepared to make a break for it at the earliest opportunity before, but now, with escape dangled in front of them, both borrowers hesitated. Virgil exchanged a dumbfounded look with the other borrower, trying to stomp down the insane hope bubbling in the back of his mind.

“If you ever want to talk, you know where to find me!” Patton finished, making sure the glass was stable and settled before releasing it and stepping back. “Otherwise, my lips are sealed— and I’ll make sure Roman and Remus keep the secret, too.”

He made a zipping motion over his mouth, eyes crinkled with amusement at the edges, and then turned and walked out of the kitchen without a single glance back.

Virgil hadn’t uttered a single plea, and yet, the path back to the walls was right there. He looped the other borrower’s arm over his shoulder and led them, step by faltering step, across the counter, even scooping his bag up as he went. Nobody came rushing in, nobody stopped them from taking those last few steps into the safety of the walls.

He’d expected to face a monster, and instead he’d been offered kindness, unasked for and freely given.

They were both quiet as they shuffled further into the familiar cramped space, as though a single sound would shatter the illusion of this impossible release. The other borrower pulled away after a moment, their pain of their concussion likely more manageable in the dark. The silence stretched, relief and exhaustion weighing on them in equal measure.

Virgil yawned despite himself, absently wondering if they were going to continue that semi-murderous argument about cults and who wronged who, and if the other borrower would be willing to reschedule it to sometime after they’d slept.

Ahead of them, a third figure stepped out of the shadows, quickly looking them over as though checking that everyone was still intact. Oddly enough, they sort of smelled like gunpowder.

“Hm. That certainly didn’t go according to plan,” they said bluntly, the oversized pack on their back jingling slightly as they stepped forward. “Still, we all survived, so I suppose introductions are in order.”

[ajexists1214]

One of my favorite things about being in the Sanders Sides fandom is seeing the last names people come up with for the sides when doing AU’s

These are the ones I came up with… YEARS ago now at this point, I’m curious to see what yall use

I know Foster for Patton is probably the most common one. I see Storm for Virgil a lot which… eh not my favorite. Crofter or Croft I see a lot for Logan, which I kinda used as inspiration for Crawford. Roman (and sometimes Remus if they are written as brothers/twins) I see Prince a lot which… I don’t know, I get it, but to me is too on the nose. I honestly don’t know what I see for Janus a lot. How I came up with Zeno, Irving and Forrest is I just looked up last names that related to their characters. Like for Virgil it was “dark/spooky last names”. Roman/Remus was “royal last names” and Janus was the hardest, I think I just ended up looking at medieval last names or something like that and found Zeno and liked it

Then of course you got the “who’s going to get the Sanders last name”, which I’ve mostly noticed it with Logan or Virgil getting the Sanders last name

I’m kinda rambling at this point, but recently I’ve been sucked back into this fandom and reading a lot of fan fiction so I wanted to point it out and talk about it

[sanderssideswriting]

thoughts about the video, let's gooo

it's 4 and a half minutes, honestly surprising considering that you'd think Thomas would want midrolls. Could he not find a sponsor in time to pad out the video?

THEY DIDN'T EVEN USE A PICTURE OF A REAL SPIRIT HALOWEEN OH MY GOD. it's a stock image or something with the spirit halloween logo photoshopped on

god yeah, that greenscreen is bad and I'm only seeing the silhouettes so far

Janus's make up. I know it's the "I'm mr white christmas, I'm mr Sun" song, where half the face is winter, and the other half mr sun or whatever but it's so bad and low effort.

ok all the makeup it bad and low effort, got it

Patton's first line was shit, who came up with that because it needed way more work. Nativity and fog machine? What?

I'm disappointed Remus's thing isn't just being him like, covered in blood or some shit. Really, they could've done more with the makeup, made it more in character. I do like Logan being Frankenstein, but again, makeup was shit.

overall it was eh. Like I know the production value wouldn't be huge but like, it could've been more then that. I'm really disapointed with the makeup mostly, I feel like better makeup would've made the whole thing much better because really that's what everyone's looking at, Thomas's face. The bad green screen can be ignored for the most part but the makeup, not so much.

[aideneverybody]

Patton, knighting plushie or smth like that: And by the power suited on me-

Logan, cutting him off: The correct term is “by the power vested in me”.

Patton: No, I *think* I know what I mean. I’m *wearing* a suit, the power is suited, *on* me.

Logan: But- thats- that’s not *correct*-.

Patton: Eh. Guess it just *suits* me better ;D

@thatsthat24

[confusedasever]

Corrupted Au Virgil🕷️🌩️

Trigger warning: arachnophobia, body horror, multiple eyes

This took 6 hours:’)

Voodoo (name may be subject to change): Virgil doesn’t really remember his past life mainly due to his own repression of his memories he doesn’t WANT to remember. Deeply insecure about his new form, wants to be un-corrupted despite no longer remembering what that was even like. Virgil just knows this is wrong and trusts that Janus and Logan can help him fix this mess. He can see out of all of his “eyes” with varying degrees of quality but heavily relies on sound. He prefers the shadows and can actually be hurt by being in bright lights for too long.

Design: The spider jaw is based heavily off the Spider Demon Father from demon slayer. The perspective is wildly off but eh we’ll get em’ next time

His eyes are based off the puppet design he was given which I adore The hoodie is just his two hoodies stitched together

Why is he corrupted? The heck happened?:

Each side corrupted in a completely unique way and for a different reason. They are representations of concepts and those concepts warped and snapped. Virgil crumbled due to his lack of identity. His anxiety heightened as he was torn between who he is now and who he was then. Resulting in whatever he is now.

The sides are slowly corrupting more and more with Virgil, unfortunately, being a lot more corrupted then others taking on a lot of spider traits (Remus is technically the most corrupted)

The amount of lore I have written for this Au is concerning considering how little I’ve done with it. Up next will probs be Patton or Janus the leaders of the Light and Dark sides:0

[its-ahissionado]

Musical Pun Times

Oh my god this took so long to write.

Roman: I am going to have a supercalifragilistic–existential CRISIS here.

Patton: Oh, we're making musical puns now? Well, Bye Bye Boredom!

Virgil: The hills are alive... and they're judging you.

Logan: How long have you guys been saving those puns?

Patton: Oh, these things just come to us, Mister Thinkin' in the Rain!

Virgil: He's lying, I saw him and Roman brainstorming all day yesterday.

Janus: You called?

Patton: AH— Janus..!

Virgil: *sighs* And now Dr. Trickyll and Mr. Lies is here.

Logan: Janus already came up with that one, Virgil.

Virgil: I'm not the creative one here.

Roman: Get out of here, Shamilton!

Janus: Ah, Roman, thank you so much for the invite to this musical pun parade. All of your pun–tastic efforts for The King and Lie.

Roman: Don't turn this fun time into a pun–ishment!

Janus: Lie me a river.

Logan: Janus is allowed to have some entertainment too, Roman.

Roman: Stay out of this, Legally Blind!

Logan: I'm not in this. I refuse to join in the pun creation.

Patton: Aw, come on, Logan! We'll just have to show you a little School of Rock!

Logan: I will not.

Virgil: Buzzkill.

Patton: Don't look so mad! We all know the saying: "when you're making puns, Anything Goes!"

Roman, about Janus: But nothing ever goes with... eh...

Janus: Betty Blue Lies.

Roman: I hate that you're helping me insult you.

Virgil: One would think The Cocky Horror Show over there wouldn't be mean all the time.

Roman: Oh shut up, Guys & Bawls.

Roman: D– I mean—

Patton: Now Roman, don't insult my son like that, or I Will Rock You.

Virgil: No, I did start it. But still...

Virgil: Now I'm just Les Miserable.

Logan: Sometimes the best way to deal with emotions is to Let it Be.

Patton: LOGAN MADE A PUN!!

Logan: NOT— ...on purpose.

[lefaystrent]

Patton being alone on Thanksgiving and going, "Well this won't do at all," and sending out invitation cards to all of his neighbors in his apartment complex to come join him for the holiday, have a home cooked meal, and offer a safe space to celebrate for anyone else who may not have anywhere else to go. He doesn't know his neighbors, and maybe it's a long shot, but it's the thought that counts!

Fastforward to Turkey Day and five guys show up on his doorstep, all of them strangers to each other, but each of them having read the invite and going, "Why not?"

[lookupthewordjokeinthedictionary]

Did you miss me? (your mum misses you)

I'm back with another Sanders Sides draw each other, this time, Patton!! And oh boy, prepare for some angst!! (personal favourite)

I wanna believe I've improved also, but I'd love to hear your comments on what I can do better.

First we have Virgil!! Bullet point time for details:

Like a controlling parent™, Virgil has no eyeshadow!

He also has no hair in his eyes (almost, I couldn't let our boy suffer)

Honestly, if without his hoodie and the banner of his name, would you recognise him?

Not because I'm a bad artist (true), but because Patton has devoided his dark strange son of his dark strangeness.

Unthreatening Virgil for the win?

Next we have sexy Logan.

I'm sorry!! I wanted to draw sexy Logan and I found an excuse, okay??

To be honest, Logan hasn't changed his behaviour towards Patton throughout the series.

He's always been dismissive, so why shouldh we change our logicality drawing style of him?

Kinda proud of this one, sorry for the lack of details though (I hope I can compensate with sexy Logan)

Ah, Roman, here at last. Can you feel your eyes filled with tears yet or shall I explain? Have to do everything around here myself:

Everything about this is so *chef's kiss*

From the fact that out of all Scenes, Patton decided to draw Christmas Carol Roman.

From the fact that he drew him in a happy (almost cocky) way.

From the fact Roman is holding the folder, smiling, ignorant as ever.

Or even that Patton really likes to drill in the mistakes of others, proving he's the (morally) better side.

But eh, you could also view it as a heartwarming declaration of support from a father figure.

Up to you, I suppose. Not as fun though.

The dark sides, everybody, have arrived. Janus! In the courtroom:

We haven't addressed that the most Patton has seen of Janus is in the svs episode.

But this man really knows how to draw him sassy

The episode was basically Patton fighting for his life (and losing??)

You may ask, omg why this one??

Plot points

Sassiness meter

You'll figure it out in the next couple drawings, you impatient buffoon

Seconds, anyone??

You can see how Patton rushed through with this drawing (not because I'm tired and it's three in the morning)

He's terrified of him, but drew him kinda cutsy

Patton officially doesn't know how many legs an octapus has

Remus is "smiling" because never in the entire dwit episode did Remus insult or offend Patton

Surely he said some things that were very out of pocket, but he never even hurt the little guy (or the giant frog)

Really, check back, he even gave him his creative liberties!!

Lastly but not least-ly (nailed it) Patton drawing "himself" :

I can already here the confusion (through my screen, yes)

This is indeed Janus! Patton and not the truthful representation

Why?? Hah! Naive naive fellow fander

Patton (in canon) is coming to the realisation that his moral compass is pointing south (towards hell).

Not all the time, ofc, he has some great attributes.

However he does need the help of a little sharp side

What better way to cry for help than to show the importance of cooperation/integration

Also,, moceit.

[nico-the-overlord]

blorbo bingo: Patton!

Funny how as I looked over them, not alot of them applied to him with me I think.

[creeky-cricket]

ok, so the orange side...

so, I've been seeing quite a bit of discussion on the topic of what the orange side could represent/what their name will be. so I thought I'd share my thoughts. personally, I feel as if the orange side would represent anger. or, more specifically rage. most of the encounters we've ever had with the side have been related to some standard or linked back to the thought of anger. Some examples of this would be, obviously when logan lost his cool while trying to explain to Remus why he felt as if his actions were unfair and then shouted. then later on when Logan became frustrated and Remus tried to push saying 'It kinda makes you wanna scream, huh.' I have also seen quite a few theories saying that this new side could represent repressed thoughts, while this is a good theory, I don't think so. if it was, then they would have appeared in the episodes with Patton talking about his repressed thoughts and also in dealing with intrusive thoughts when they got onto the topic of repression. now onto the name. as we can see, there are a lot of patterns with the names given to the sides. one of the first being the fact that all of the names have only two syllables. the second being that, both Janus and Remus' names are of Greek origins Janus' meaning two faces or doorways and Remus' literally means twin. and the last pattern with the names of the characters is the endings, (log-an, rom-an, patt-on. and rem-us and jan-us) Virgil being the outlier of this because as Thomas had depicted before he's like a grey side, sitting in the middle of the black and the white me and my friend actually discussed this a while ago, trying to keep all of these patterns in mind, two of the most likely ones that we found were either Marius/Marcus or Sirius. Marius as a name means dedicated to Mars, the Roman god of war, while it's not a Greek name, the definition goes along with the idea that the orange side is supposed to depict rage. Also, to be shortened down could go to Marcus, which means the same thing only with two syllables going along with the first pattern. and obviously, Marius ends with the same syllables as Remus and Janus. The second name, Sirius is another good option in my opinion. the definition of Sirius as a name is burning/glowing which also contributes to the idea of anger or rage. 'burning rage' etc. the origins of the name Sirius are also Greek, meaning that it would go along with the other dark sides along with eh fact it ends with '-us'. (also doesn't support anything at all I just think it would be cool cause Sirius is actually a star and it would be funny that he'd be related to Logan a lot.) the only thing wrong with this name is that it has three syllables instead of 2.

[in-death-we-fall]

Knot On Your Life

Record Collector #266 — October 2001

Slipknot’s recent Iowa album entered the UK album charts at No. 1 — unprecedented for a nu-metal band. Drummer Joey Jordison waxes highly lyrical

(google drive link)

Slipknot’s second proper album, Iowa, was the most eagerly-awaited rock record of 2001, and both critics and fans of the masked nine-man band from Des Moines weren’t surprised when it crashed straight into the charts at the top spot in early September. But to anyone not familiar with the crushing music of this most uncompromising of groups, the sudden glut of media appearances that followed this triumph might seem strange, to say the least. After all, these are people who urinate on stage, offer fans the chance to inhale from rectally-inserted tubes and regularly vomit onto their audiences.

Despite the band’s fearsome reputation, drummer Joey Jordison was on relaxed form as he chatted to RC from his Mid-Western home. In fact, he was willing to provide an opinion on most subjects — so RC fed him a topic, and off he went. If only all interviews were this easy, eh?

A Night In With The Knot

All round to Joey’s…

Imagine you’ve invited us to a party round at your house. What tunes would you play for us? If I’m having a party I don’t really play much metal — because the chicks get more naked if you play something light. Old Bee Gees, or Michael Jackson’s Off The Wall, they’re all good party albums

I read once that you’re into the Cars and Fleetwood Mac. Oh, yeah. The Cars — I really like their Candy-O record, man, it was one of those records that really broke New Wave in America. They were one of the first bands to use the fuckin’ New Wave keyboards in their music, man.

The one-finger thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally! Like ‘Let’s Go’ with that cheesy line that they use, but it’s so infectious. We played it before a show one time — we cranked that entire song through the PA right before we hit the stage. The kids were so fuckin’ loud and pissed off! They thought we were gonna cut the cong but we played the whole damn thing (laughing), just to irritate them.

What about a bit of dance or hip-hop? I like the new Ludicrous record. And chicks often get naked when we play that new Nelly CD for some reason (laughs). I also like the Wu-Tang Clan and Ol’ Dirth Bastard’s solo stuff, and of course old Public Enemy, and the old NWA stuff. I’m much more into the old school — I don’t listen to any of that current shit.

Did you ever get into any grunge at all? For a little bit, although I was pretty strictly devoted to metal. I really can’t stand Pearl Jam though — I’ve never been a fan of them. Alice In Chains was always a metal band in hiding, with a grunge umbrella. Soundgarden’s Badmotorfinger was phenomenal, too.

What about Faith No More? A band I still devote a lot of respect to. Faith No More really turned things around for me — The Real Thing really shaped my awareness of musical styles and using them tastefully. Mike Patton is probably the most talented musician and visionary I’ve ever heard in my life.

Most people might also be surprised to hear that I’m really into glam shit too, in my other band, the Rejects (chuckles).

What — Bolan and Bowie? More like the New York Dolls and Hanoi Rocks, but it’s all good music.

Do you dress up in the appropriate manner on stage? Make-up, lipstick? Yeah, we do. It depends on the mood. But like the famous song said, though, just because I wear make-up doesn’t mean that I can’t kick your ass!

The morning after the party, what mellow tunes would you play for us? Let me check my current crop of albums. I’d probably actually wake you up with some Amen. ‘We came here to fuck you!’ That rules, dude. I love that band.

An unlikely pairing: (above) the Cars, whose ‘cheesy’ synth lines do it for Joey, and (below) the Bee Gees, for whom ‘the chicks get naked’, dude.

Gloom And Doom

The murky depths of extreme metal explored…

The introduction of Iowa’s first song, ‘People = Shit’, is pure Morbid Angel. Fuck yeah! If you’re gonna pay tribute to something, pay it to a band that kicks ass. My favourite Morbid work is Blessed Are The Sick — I think it’s untouchable.

Altars Of Madness was really cool, too. Fuck, that’s old school, man, that’s going back. I think they really came into their own around the time of Domination, when they started using the seven-string guitars.

What other metal bands are you into? I also really like Raging Speedhorn, and I gotta say Immortal’s Damned In Black is one of the finest black metal releases ever.

I thought In The Heart Of Winter was better. Yes, that fucker too — all Immortal is great. They’re one of the prime black metal bands of all time.

Have you got Slayer’s new album, God Hates Us All? Yes — it’s phenomenal.

‘Payback’ is a great song. (sings line from song) Payback, you bitch motherfucker! (sniggers)

Do you like Nile? I love Nile. Black Seeds Of Vengeance — I love fuckin’ Nile! They rule, man.

Poppin’ Out

Joey talks Britney

It’s a good time to be into metal, isn’t it? Look at it this way. Metal always stays here, it’ll never go away, because of the legions of devoted fans, man, they never go anywhere. They are always fucking gonna be there. The music will never go away. It’s been tested time and time again.

On the other hand, cheesy pop like Britney Spears and N’Sync has got a lot stronger at the same time, don’t you think? That’s very true, it’s a good point. Those bands are really big sellers for their labels. They’re all geared towards MTV; then MTV is geared to the kids; the kids bitch at their parents constantly, and then they go out and buy the record.

Sometimes these kids don’t know any better, they don’t know you can go out and get into the underground tape-trading scene, because they’re fed that shit over fuckin’ television. Which is a drug in its fuckin’ self.

We wanna turn these kids on. A lot of them have heard Korn and Limp Bizkit, but they’ve never heard a blastbeat. It’s great that we can turn them on to the underground — like a kid might never have heard of Morbid Angel, and might think that I’m the first guy to ever do a blastbeat and double bass. Which isn’t true.

Is it strange when Slipknot are included in the same nu-metal category as bands like Limp Bizkit and Korn? No. I can’t bitch about it because we are in that nu-metal group. We do have elements of the nu-metal sound, but the fact is, you can tell we come from a place that is more genuine and way more old-school than that.

Grrr!

Reasons to be angry

At the Ozzfest, Corey (Taylor, Slipknot singer) said ‘We’re going to kill everyone in the rock music industry’. Is the relationship between the band and the business really so bad? He’s always talking about that. A lot of the press — obviously not you, because you know what you’re talking about — when we were done with our first record, they said that there was no way we could top it, and were already slagging the second record. And then there’s the fuckin’ leeches that fuckin’ steal money, and the people that misquote you, and people that start fuckin’ bad rumours — and before you know it there’s a whole new list of problems that come with fame.

I’ll gladly take those problems because this is what I’ve wanted since I was five years old, but (getting annoyed) it doesn’t mean that it fucking doesn’t fucking totally fucking goad men, and totally fucking brings me to a fucking boiling point … (tails off in incoherent rage, then takes a deep breath and calms down). So a lot of those things came out, and we had a lot of personal issues when we were on the road. And we;re doing non-stop shows, so every day there’s something going on.

Havin’ It Large

Party on!

Didn’t you go drinking a lot with Casey Chaos when you were on tour together? Yeah, we do these drinking matches. I always lose. I got him one time, though. It took him a while, but he finally got fucked up and fell down the back of this bus — and Casey Chaos never pukes, ever, but he threw up this time.

I sobered up really quickly after I pissed myself in my bunk, and I came back out and I’m like, I’m ready to go again! But he had to go to bed. I may have fallen down first, but I came back for the second round. That’s been the only time.

Can you still get up and play the drums when you’ve got a sickening hangover? Oh, absolutely, dude. I’ve done it a million times. I’m not necessarily proud of it. But when the mask goes on and I fuckin’ slip into the fuckin’ boiler suit, something just happens to me, man. Everything goes away, and it’s all about us and those kids for that hour.

The Past

The bad old days…

Do you ever listen to Slipknot’s demo album, Mate. Feed. Kill. Repeat? I never ever listen to it. I’m very proud of where we come from, man, and I’ll never forget where we come from, but … that was a totally different band back then, you know, and it’s not the same.

Did you know that people are paying over £150 in this country for original copies of MFKR, if they can find them? (shocked) Christ almighty. God damn, man … they must really like the band.

It’s a lot of money to pay for someone’s demo. Or do you regard the album as more than just a demo? It’s kind of a glorified demo. It’s glorified in that it sounds really good for a demo — it’s produced really well. But there’s only six people on that record, Corey’s not the lead singer, the guitar players are different — you know, the only original members are me, Shawn and Paul on that.

The first Knot guitarist, Donnie Steele, famously left the band after a religious conversion. Yes. He was like, I found God and this band is not for me.

Even though he’d been in Anal Blast and Body Pit beforehand — two extreme grindcore bands? I guess not. He really wasn’t down with the mask thing either — when it came up he was like, I can’t do that. So I thought, hmm, OK, you’re probably not gonna work out.

Then there was Cuddles … (yawns) Yes … … but maybe I won’t go into that? Don’t. We never talk about that guy (drummer Cuddles, a member of the band from 1997-8, is alleged to be suing Slipknot at the time of writing).

The Future

What lies ahead

You once said that Slipknot is just too intense a band to survive more than a couple of albums. I get asked about that in every interview I do. But it’s cool, because it’s the truth. I think if the band broke up right now — you can call this ego, call it what you want — we might even have some kind of legendary status.

You mean, if you stopped at the peak of your form, before it got stale? Yes, like the Sex Pistols did. They did it right, man, they didn’t fuckin’ let themselves become parodies. And that’s what we plan to do with this band, once I know it’s not working. Because of all the hurt in the band, and the fact that there’s nine of us, I think if it went on too long, it would become a parody, man.

Will your records keep getting heavier and heavier, as they have so far? Well, lots of bands say their next record is gonna be the heaviest one ever, but they’re full of shit. They just say this so their fans will go out and buy it. But I can’t do that to my fans, man, because they’re the ones that got me here, y’know.

Interview by Peter Smith. Many thanks to Michelle Kerr at Roadrunner.