#Of which there are few that include He doesnt suck so bad at it but working up the energy to do it 99% of the time is like shooting himself

[bonkin]

good morning

[egeos]

egeos' hulknussen fic recommendations

so, you've heard of haasbands somewhere on tumblr, or maybe instagram, twitter; and want to know what it's all about. here's a list of fics I'd recommend!

I will be referencing the "eras" I divided their meta & fandom history into in my post "a brief look at the history of hulknussen on ao3". you can disregard the eras headlines if you don't care about when the fics are from, but if you have a preference towards one or more of the eras you can use the headlines to navigate.

if you don't feel like scrolling on tumblr, I have organized my bookmarks on ao3 to reflect this post (with some non hulknussen fics rec'd that you can filter out). the bookmarker's tags will include what era a fic falls into so you can filter according to that, as well. fics with a * to them are favourites of favourites. if you could only read a few, these are the ones I would absolutely tell you to read.

disclaimer: I tried my best to only link to fics of authors that were fine with having them referenced elsewhere. if the A/N of a work stated that they did not want the fic to be shared outside of ao3 I did not include it here. if I could find the author's tumblr I took that as a general "fine to link to". if your fic is on this list and I did not link to your tumblr it's because I couldn't find it at first glance; lmk and I'll happily add it! if your fic is on this list and you want it removed you can also let me know anytime, anywhere (even ao3 comments of an unrelated fic) and I'll remove it no questions asked.

hulknussen era: 2014-2017

SERIES: Effortless by F1_Rabbit / @f1rabbit rated g, nawa, total wc of 3.6k nico and kevin comforting each other and getting together —Sleepless, Powerless, Restless

—Up close and personal* by zeraparker / @zeraparker rated m, nawa, oneshot, 1.5k words nico and kevin celebrate nico's le mans win together

"suck my balls" era: 2017-2022

—suck my balls, honey by Pericardiaca / @iishmael rated e, nawa, oneshot, 2.7k words make up sex after hungary

—Relax into my touch, honey by wafflesandpancakes rated e, ccntw, oneshot, 2.5k words nico has a bad race in in germany and kevin comforts him (smut included)

—Not only my language is bi by wafflesandpancakes rated e, ccntw, oneshot, 2.1k words character study ish, mild angst with semi graphic smut. nico has just lost out on the renault and the haas seat (2019) and doesnt know what the future holds for him.

—suck my balls, honey by lewisshamilton / @lewisshamilton rated e, ccntw, 3/3, 11.1k words part of a youtuber au series, but you do not need to read it to get this. the summary calls it "[...] three times Hulk swore himself to not sleep with Kevin again and three times he failed miserably" which pretty much sums it up.

—Polonium* by Anonymous rated t, nawa, oneshot, 1.4k words nico losing his seat leads to kevin and nico's break up. kevin spends the winter break grieving the relationship. angst galore (very good)

—det vil ikke blive nemt men det vil blive det hele værd by wafflesandpancakes rated e, ccntw, oneshot, 3.3k words au; nico is at a business party in denmark, kevin celebrating his graduation. they get to know each other ft smut at the end

—we drift and we call it dreaming* by bottasvaltteri / @bottasvaltteri rated t, nawa, oneshot, 3.3k words kevin runs a tattoo shop with nico as his employee and boyfriend. everything is great, except there is a fantasy world in his head where he drives fast cars and pretends to dislike nico. magical realism and memory loss

—I'm Gonna Turn This Car Around by FunkyinFishnet / @dinomighty rated t, nawa, oneshot, 3.6k words nico somehow ends up giving out relationship advice to the younger guys on the grid, except they always ask for advice when him and kevin are busy. funny and light hearted with background maxiel

enemies-to-lovers era: 2022-2023

—i wanna feel your sugar in my veins by dilftoevsky rated e, ccntw, oneshot, 2.6k words written in '22 but set in '23, au where they didn't make up but still fuck (pwp)

—Sidelined* by degenercurve130R / @silverslipstream rated t, ccntw, oneshot, 3.4k words character study ish, written in '23 but takes place in '21 & '17. both kevin and nico are out of a seat and meet up to drown their feelings about it in beer.

—Full Disclosure, Don't Get Closer* by Anonymous rated m, nawa, oneshot, 1.1k words they're friends/teammates with benefits and kevin feels some things about it

haasbands era: 2024-onwards

—The First Of The Season* by Anonymous rated e, nawa, 1/2, 4.8k words first time/hooking up, lots of chemistry between them, smut later in the first chapter. ongoing, so can't speak on ch2, but would 100% still rec this if it was left unfinished forever or got uploaded as a oneshot

—i love winning, baby, i want it all by flowersarepoisonous / @flowersarepoisonous rated t, nawa, oneshot, 1.2k words written in '24, set in '26. they're both with audi and nico wins his first race. celebrations follow

—baby, why don't you come over? (red wine supernova) by flowersarepoisonous / @flowersarepoisonous rated m, nawa, 1/4, 4k words ongoing, so I can't sum it completely. tags are "fuckbuddies to lovers" and "getting together" which should give you a good feel. spans multiple seasons

—bleuler by cfd rated m, ccntw, oneshot, 3.5k words different scenes of pillow talk centering mental health issues nico has (in this fic not irl) and how they impact the relationship between kevin and nico. warning for implied psychosis, angst

—kevin magnussen? more like kevin wagnussen by flowersarepoisonous / @flowersarepoisonous rated g, nawa, oneshot, 2.5k words kevin gets a race ban for baku and shows up as nico's wag. social media au/outsider pov, fluff, humour

[petrichor-idyllic]

And just because I love your writing and definitely love Minho I would like to make another request (yes your personality now is to make Minho x fem!reader stories sorry :) ). So it's bonfire night and reader gets kinda drunk being somewhat flirty with Minho and when the bonfire is over Minho takes her to bed safely so she doesnt get taken advantage of some drunk boy and she confesses that she feels safe with him. Thank youuuu :)

Oooo yessss. This is right down my alley aha. I guess writing for Minho really is becoming my thing. Not that I'm complaining since I've been in love with him since I read the books when I was like twelve. That being said, I have a list of other characters I will write for pinned on my blog :))

UNDER THE INFLUENCE

MASTERLIST | MINHO MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: See above. Takes place before the arrival of Thomas.

WARNINGS: Inappropriate language, some suggestive language and actions, teenage drink and dumb drunkenness.

Greenie Day has always been your favourite time of the month, even since you experienced your first day in the Glade.

Because it meant it was Bonfire night. It's the one night that everyone let loose a little bit. Under the night sky with the burning flame dancing and people enjoying themselves.

It was rare for people to have a break during the month, so you're not the only one who impatiently waits for the next day a scared Newbie shows up.

And now, it's even better. The boys were getting used to you and you them, earning a mutual respect where you aren't as scared to have some fun.

"Yes!" You exclaim, punching the air in celebration as the empty cup lands on it's head, beating Gally who is just hairs behind you. Claps and cheers from the small crowd of observers break out as Gally has to down another glass of his mystery liquid.

You'd been playing some dumb drinking game with a fair few boys for a while now. The faint buzz of the alcohol sinking in feels good, and you know Newt's nearby to step in if he needs to.

It's nights like these where the Glade doesn't seem so bad. Sure, the Maze is shit, but the Glade is like a mini heaven slapped right in the middle. When things goes smoothly, you really don't mind living there.

You fake bow, chuckling to yourself before you fistbump Gally, showing some true sportsmanship.

You continue playing some games, including a game of truth or dare, which ends up with Frypan sitting on the floor with no shirt on and you having to down an entire glass of moonshine.

"Okay, (Y/N), truth or dare?" Clint asks you between sips of his own drink.

"Hmm, truth."

"Ugh, again?"

"There's no way that I'm taking dares off of you slintheads."

"Okay, okay, uh," Clint thinks for a second, trying to think of a question, "Okay, I got one. Who, out of everyone here, do you think is the most attractive?" The boys seem to perk up at this question, all eyes falling on you.

You have an answer. Of course, you do. But you're not gonna answer.

You give Clint a smirk before taking a swig from your glass, silently forfeiting and earning a series of growns.

Subtly, your eyes wander last the group you're sitting with and over to the Runners. They normally sat on the outskirts of the group, and tonight isn't any different. They didn't really involve themselves with the events of the party, preoccupied with thinking and talking about the Maze.

It makes you feel bad for them. They sound all day, everyday out there and then they come back and can't get it out of their heads.

Which sucks for you because the answer to Clint's question is Minho.

The man is drop-dead gorgeous. He's athletic, quick, witty and respectful. You always find yourself staring when he comes back to the Glade- the sweat makes his already tight shirt stick to him, the harness exaggerating his features, his hair is always perfect to the point of it almost being comedic the casual glances he throws your way make butterflies form in your stomach. Not to mention, he's always been respectful, even jumping to your defence when the other boys try taking things too far.

It's not like you'd never spoken. You'd had a couple of brief conversations and you liked talking to the Runners- you seemed to brighten their grim days.

Someone sitting next to you suddenly clicks their fingers in front of your face, snapping you out of your trance. "Hello? You in there?"

"Sorry, what?"

"It's your turn to ask a question."

"Oh, right, sorry," you fake laugh, "totally zoned out there."

The drinking games continue, and by the end of it, you are drunk. You don't normally drink this much, but you've been having fun, so you lost track of yourself, and with Newt too distracted to stop you, you've slightly overdone it.

The light from the flame stretches in front of your eyes as you sway slightly. And all it takes is one glance at Minho for the liquid confidence to take over.

You strut- sorry, you attempt to strut over.

Minho has been left to his own devices, the other Runners have probably called it an early night, and no one else has approached him yet.

"Hey," you basically flop onto the log next him and he immediately raises an eyebrow, smirking slightly at your drunken state.

"Hi?" It comes out as more of a question, his natural curiosity taking over.

"You know," you slur slightly as you lean forward on your knees, "we don't speak very much."

"Yeah? Well, I'm a busy guy."

"Yeah, but it sucks."

"Oh yeah? Why's that?"

"Because we don't speak? Duh." A smile slowly creeps onto his face.

"I didn't know you wanted to speak to me so bad," he takes a sip out if his own drink and you watch as it leaves his lips and settles between his legs as his arms loosely fall between them.

"Yeah, well, you're hot, so," you drag out the 'o' sound and Minho sits there in some form of confusion and amusement.

You think he's hot? The only girl in the entire Glade thinks that he's attractive? That's got to be a flex if he's ever heard one.

Of course, Minho was just as bad as every other straight boy in the Glade- he's attracted to you. Unlike the other boys, he's respectful and keeps his distance. Even now, he's treading on thin ice, and he can tell you're under the influence.

Drunk words are sober thoughts and all, but he's not about to risk something you'll regret. He's smarter than that.

You take a swig from your glass, your lack of sobriety causing you to not even pay attention to Minho's lack of response.

"Okay," he leans over, taking the drink away from you and making you whine, "I think you've had enough."

"What?" You move towards him, swiping at the glass, which he moves behind him and above his head, completely out of your reach. "Give it back, Minho! You can't yell me what to do!"

You pay little attention to how close he is, too focused on retrieving your questionable beverage. But that doesn't mean Minho does. You're half sat up, nearly sitting on his lap as you lean forward, you shoulders almost connecting.

"Absolutely not," he puts his hand on your collarbone, careful with the placement as he pushes you back down and away.

"You're drunk."

"And?"

"You're too drunk."

"No, I'm not."

"You just called me hot."

"You're hot sober, too."

Minho snorts. Like, he actually laughs. There's no way this is happening. You're going to be kicking yourself in the morning, that's for sure.

"You're gonna regret this," Minho warns you.

"Why? You scared you'll have some fun?" You attempt to make a suggestive face, which comes across poorly. It just makes Minho hold back a laugh.

"We're not having any fun. There's no way I'm letting you do something you'll regret."

"Who says I'll regret it?"

"You, probably, a few hours from now."

"Find. Shuck you, then," you stand up dramatically, "I'll flirt with someone else then."

You walk away, not giving him a chance to say another word as you approach the closest Glader.

He can't hear what you're saying due to the chattering buzz that surrounds the Bonfire. But he watches as the other boy lets you hit on him, something you're doing in a very poor attempt to make Minho jealous.

It doesn't make him jealous. Well, it kind of does, but he can see what you're doing. More than anything, he's concerned. If you keep this up, you're going to get yourself in a very uncomfortable situation.

So when the Glader rests his arm around your waist, Minho is left with little choice but to act. He's on his feet fast, storming over and grabbing your wrist.

"Hey! What are you doing-?"

"Come on, I'm not watching this klunk," you let him pull you away from the dude. Minho leads you away, having to slow down slightly to make sure your drunken dumbass doesn't fall over.

"Changer your mind, pretty boy?" You coo, and he rolls his eyes, not even glancing at you.

"No." He's blunt. Understandably so.

He practically drags you to your hut- it's essentially a couple of twigs tied together with cement and rope. It was thrown up in a couple of days due to your unannounced and shocking arrival. Alby thought it wouldn't be a good idea for you to be out in the open in a hammock like most other Gladers. The only real requirement for the Builders was a locking door.

"Where's the key?" He says after trying your door.

"Huh?"

"The key? For your hut? Where is it?"

"Huh? Oh! Oh, okay," you've probably got the wrong idea about what's about to happen here. He wants to take you to bed. You want to take him to bed.

You fiddle with your jean pocket, pulling out an iron and slightly rusted key, which Minho basically snatches off you before kicking the door open.

Once you're inside, you grab his shirt, giving him no time to respond. "I knew you'd cave," you mumble, thinking that you're victorious, only for him to grab your arms and direct you towards the bed, pushing you and forcing you to fall backwards.

You screech, hitting the old mattress with a heady thud.

"Okay, sleep," he demands, pulling the covers from under you and making you fall again though you're quick to sit up straight.

"What? No! I don't wanna sleep- unless you-"

"Sleep. Now."

You groan, flopping back, your head fortunately hitting the pillow. He takes this opportunity to pull the blankets over you, tucking in the sides the minimise the chance of you moving again.

"You've gotta sleep this off, dude, this is concerning."

"But I'm still wearing my shoes!" You drag out the final word and Minho pauses, grumbling to himself.

"You gotta be shucking kidding me."

He moves the bottom of the blanket, untying your laces and struggling to get your boots off. You try to help by kicking them off, but it really doesn't do much.

"Okay," he stands up straight, "bedtime. Go to sleep."

He goes to leave, planning to lock the door behind him and then to just slip the key back under the door.

"Wait, Minho," he huffs,looking at you over his shoulder.

"What?"

"Thank you," your voice is quiet and suddenly he knows he's talking to you. "You make me so... safe. Thank you for protecting me."

Out of everything you've said and done in the past hour, that's the comment that almost makes him blush. He lets out a content sigh before offering you a soft smile- a gesture that few people get to see.

"Yeah, whatever," he manages to get out, "sleep."

The door slams behind him, and he does exactly what he intended to, leaving the key for you to find in the morning.

The walls begin to spin as you lay there, groaning into your pillow. You quickly start to wish you hadn't drank so much.

You don't remember when you fell asleep, but your head spins as you rise from your slumber. Your body hurts, but you're pleased to find yourself in your own room with little to no information of how you got there.

Your eyes fall to the key sitting on you floor, not that far away from the door.

"The hell..?" You stand up, swaying slightly and reaching for the wall as a wave of nausea hits you.

You struggle to pick up the key, but slowly, the pieces fall back together. It takes about fifteen minutes, but your brain manages to put the story back together.

"Oh, shit," you rub your face in your hands, sitting on the edge of your bed, cringing at yourself and not daring to leave just in case someone saw or heard how you interacted with Minho.

But you have to leave. You also play a role in the Glade, and you have to go to work.

Shit.

Eventually, you force yourself to get ready and head out. You let the shower wash away last njghts events and head to your job.

No one seemed shocked that you were late, but they also didn't seem to know anything that happened, which at least meant Minho had kept his mouth shut.

You'd missed breakfast and were too queezy for lunch, so when dinner came around you ate as much as you could.

You're so focused on your food that you don't even notice the Runner approach you until it's too late.

Minho clears his throat, scaring the shit out of you and making you physically jump.

The second you look at him, your face starts to burn. Oh God. It doesn't help that he looks so good after returning from his days work.

"Hi," he grins at you, making you shift under his gaze.

"Hi," you spit out and he sucks in a deep breath to try and stop himself from laughing before he can get his words out.

"So," he clears his throat, leaning on the table in front of you from the side, so he's close enough for other people to not hear, "you still think I'm hot?"

You practically choke on your unfinished mouthful, trying to compose yourself but your burning ears and avoiding eye contact is enough of a giveaway.

You finally manage to speak.

"Shut the fuck up."

Minho just laughs.

Another Minho piece so I can feed your guys' addiction. Sorry, this one isn't that long, but I felt like some light-hearted shenanigans were appropriate for this request. I know the plot is kinda vapid and not up to my standards, but this was fun to write.

Hope y'all enjoy :))

[lithominium]

Ughhh hahah im ahving a “nobody under 40 really expects anything good to happen ever again” moment right now going “climate change has completely ruined seasons as we know them, not the hundreds of thousands of deaths caused by sea level rise and (un)natural disasters caused by global warming” and “every single product in the entire world is designed to break down in a year at the most and every year it gets worse, including housing”

Its not like yoi can go buy a good that actually functions, because All goods are like this. Tools are godawful now. You buy a brand new sandblaster from a reputable company and it literally sucks shit. You buy a modern reissue of music equipment and its shoddily built and doesnt work right or something. Houses being built in the modern era are thrown up in a week and collapse with people inside a week later. Video games come out and are half baked and dont change when people ask

The consumers dont have power anymore, they havent for Years.

Every time i look at politics (USA because im unfortunately usamerican, but ive seen some godawful shit in other countries too) i go “well he cant nearly be as bad as the last guy” but somehow they always one up each other for being more genocidal and more awful. On both ends of the spectrum. It used to be 3 years ago “do i wanna vote for the awful person or the awful person who actively wants to kill me” but now its literally just. “Person who wants to kill me or person who wants to kill me.” And every single worthless politician in existence is doing the same thing. If i voted for someone who didnt want to kill me, so few people would end up voting for them, that the people who DO want to kill me would win anyways. My old college town banned public homosexuality. Tennessee of course. Worthless ass state.

I dont doomscroll, i know how ungodly unhealthy it is to scroll through tags showing off how bad everything is. But its inescapable. I go to funny youtube videos and see wade dankpods complaining about how all tools suck while he tries to rebuild a car. I scroll through my dashboard which is supposed to be memes and fandom content and its “this us democrat just said ‘yaknow i really think its great that israel is finally killing all those subhuman palistinians” and what the hell am i supposed to do about that??

I just need. Some semblance of hope. Anything just to tell me it will be alright. Tell me theres a reason for me to not steal a plane and fly it into a god damn mountain so my final moments will be doing the one thing i really love.

[davekat-sucks]

>Pride month includes trans pride, and who’s deemed canonically trans by the Huss? THAT’S RIGHT! HOPE YOU LIKE SEEING JUNE EGBERT ON YOUR DASH A WHOOOOOOOOLE LOT AAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL MONTH!

(hopefully this formats the text right i dont use tumblr a lot and i usually only lurk)

Listen anon, this shit aint gonna work. June Egbert is not canon and she wont be, it doesnt matter if she appears on HSBC because let me tell you, its already on its name: BEYOND CANON.

You are not owning transphobes or helping trans people by screaming that June is canon everywhere you go, all you do is annoy people who arent trans and help make those trans stereotype become even worse and that just makes everything more awful than it already is. What you are doing is not helping ANYONE and it just makes you look like an asshole.

In fact Homestuck trans rep sucks as a whole. Vriska sucks in general and people like Kate will use her being "canonically" trans as an excuse when like I said all that does it make things WORSE. June is forced and people like you usually try to force people that its canon when its not and the Roxy one from HSBC is the same thing but nobody gives a shit about one so people usually dont talk about it.

And no just because Hussie said it doesnt mean its true (ie. Andrew Hussie Formstring) and sure the circumstances are different but the webcomic is done, its like if George Lucas claimed Luke Skywalker was actually a trans girl in secret all this time or some shit, it would be nonsensical to suddenly say that when theres never evidence for it + the main material having ended years ago. It has already ended and HSBC is just a non-canonical continuation.

And I don't know how much it "being planned from the beggining" means but I'm pretty sure its about being planned since the epilogues or something and not since the Homestuck Beta from april 10th, look at me in my invisible eyes and tell me that the Hussie from that era was thinking about transgender rights and not about his next webcomic and i dont fucking know that creepy puppet he had as a kid or horses.

AND before you assume Im transphobic, Im not and support trans people because i know how gender dysphoria feels [even though i do feel like some people online are faking it for attention or are there not for support but because they have some fetish which is pretty fucking bad (and Im unsure if fit the label or if I want to fit it considering I dont tell anyone about it at all and everyone online nowdays seems to suck overall and I also dont want to go around telling online strangers on a public profile about it)], so please understand this. June Egbert is not canon and is not a good rep, if you like it then keep it on the parts of the community that like it and stop trying to force "dubiously canon" on everyone. You are causing more harm than good, in fact I think that you are doing might not be doing any good at all.

And because I feel like I didnt let enough steam off Im gonna say this

Fuck June. Fuck her stupid fucking name. Fuck her rep. Fuck Post-Canon. And she and other shit reps deserve to be forced to take a permanent vacation straight to Hell.

Oh and davekat-sucks please keep existing and dont let these people put you down, you are one of the few people in this community nowdays that seems to not be overly aggressive and you allow people to show their opinions without having to fear getting harassed on or getting dragged on a full blown warzone just for not thinking like most people on the community do. Your blog means a lot for fans like us and remember, just because a lot of people seem to disagree with you it doesnt mean you are wrong! ^U^

Thank you for the kind words, Anon. And thank you for this amazing post here too. ✧ദ്ദി( ˶^ᗜ^˶ )

[imlivinginyourtrashcan]

Gat any juicy ✨aPoCaLyPsE✨ aus??? (Any other are welcome too, I will eat.)

GO ALL OUT, DO IT.

Ahh!!! Ok. I dont personally have any apocalypse aus, HOWEVER!!!! I can make up headcannons for how I see things going in this hypothetical

Now the rules I personally am going to use is Zombieland and Last of Us. Im not doing slow zombie shit thats BORING!!!! Alright, here we go.

Cartman:

The first one to be bit out of the boys

Look, Zombieland rule number one right here

Tbh he thought the person who bit him escaped the looney bin

He didnt care

...until he realized his mom was turned

Fuck

So naturally he goes to Kyles

Got there last tho

Kyle let him in

Look, he may hate Cartman but he felt bad!

The turning process took 3 days after he was bit

Day one was the show of pink eye, eye crust and a slight green tint

Second day he looks worse, eyes look all hazy and he looks grener and more deshevled

Third day; yeah hes turned, foaming at the mouth

Butters went to check on him since hes the medic and it ended with Kyle killing him and Kenny getting bit

Kyle:

Didnt know the apocalypse was happening for a good while

Just knew he wasnt going to school for a while so win win

That was until they were out one day and saw a zombie themselves

Oh yeah theyre OUT!!!

Making a break for the house Kyle had to watch his parents get bit

Picked up Ike and was outie like a belly button!!!

Had to gear up on survivalist stuff

Guns, medical equipment, stuff like that

Somehow became the leader of a small group including himself, Ike, Kenny, Stan, Butters, and Cartman.

They stayed at his house until they discover Tolkien's alive

Now they on their way to his house (which has more space and food)

Either the last to be bitten or a survivor

Very distrusting of new people after the cartman incident

Or just people in general

Checks DAILY for bites

If someone's found with a bite they talk to Kyles PEW PEW

Stan:

Co leader of Kyles little resistance thing

Goes out with him on hunts or killing sprees

Found his house after his sister was turned

Not the first few bit but he def doesnt survive

Its either a self sacrifice thing or something depressing where Kyle and Stan are crying

Kyle has to leave him behind which really sucks :(

But they arent having another Cartman situation.

During the apocalypse his drinking problem gets worse

Several times where the group was thinking of just leaving him cuz hes a liability but Kyles like

"No dude hes my friend >:("

Kept Sparky around to sniff for stuff and as a general alert system

Someone at the door?

BARKBARK BARK

Someones turned?

BARKBARKBARK

Stuff like that

OOOOO Sparkys gonna be SADDD when Stan dies

Or he'll just die with him

Idk

Kenny:

Second to be bit and turned

Before that he was the rations, weapons, drinks, etc guy

Main weapon was a flame thrower

Why? Cuz its cool as hell

Def gives tallahassee from Zombieland in a survival scenario

That man will do CRAZY SHIT

God i LOVE Tallahassee!!!!

Shame Kenny got bit

They basically were like

"Yeah no"

And threw him outside.

Then Kyle and Stan became the new scavengers

Poor Kenny :(

Butters:

Both his parents turned so he was outie like a belly button

Left with more truama than he had

Ended up becomming the group medic

The boys try to do everything to keep him from turning

Their efforts are successful until they make their way to Tolkiens

Then he gets bit by a zombie cuz hes frozen in some kinda fear

Kenny returns and CHOMP

Then the groups like "FUCK" and run away

He did survive for a while so like, good on him

But his ass cant use a weapon for shit

Tweek:

It could go both ways with him

Either he dies really early

Or dies really late

But i do think hes a hermit whos gone crazy in bith scenario

He def things Craig and his friends are dead

Hes survived on eating coffee beans and no sleep

Eventually tho i think he cant take it anymore and runs for the zombie hoarde

A certain someone does save him tho and hes in a camp with a few other people

Still bonkers crazy tho

Man thinks hes in heaven

Talking for hours abt how excited he is to see Craig

Poor dude is nuts

Craig:

The one who saved Tweek

Has a resistance of his own with Dougie, Wendy, Terrance Mephesto, Bebe, Clyde, Damien, Mike and Pip (yes Pip is alive in this au. Fight me)

They have a pretty big camp, too.

Theyve essentially been glamping for half the apocalypse

Staying in the mephesto place for like, the entirety of the apocalypse

Pip informs Craig on Tweeke mental state very often (Pip is the medic and group therapist)

Craig is almost never at the base cuz hes out getting stuff

Makes sure to go out in something the zombies cant bite through too

Just in case

Leaves Stripe in Pip's care, ends up bonding with him too

"Yknow frenchie? You arent that bad"

"Uhm..im not french, but thank you!"

On a mission to find Tricia since they seperated

Least he found Tweek

Main weapon is a sniper rifle. Likes hanging out on rooftops and going zombie hunting that way.

Informs the group on the staus of the people hes seen as Zombies.

"So uh... Stan, Cartman, Kenny, and Butters turned.."

And the whole groupis just like 😨

Clyde:

If you think this man is lasting long you are a FOOL

That man would see something truamtic

Cry

And get eaten by a zombie hoarde

I dont see him contributing much to a group at all

Just staying inside cuz hes a wuss

They had to force him out

And thats when he fucking died

Jimmy:

Staying in Tolkiens house with him

Theyre pretty set on food and water

Will go out with Tolkien if they need to get stuff

Can use crutches as a close combat weapon

Trying to keep the situation light

Joking abt everything to make Tolkien feel better

More than happy to welcome the rest of the boys into their home

Survivor, yes, im biased

Tolkien:

Stayed pretty much unaffected by the apocalypse, lucky fuck

Goes out with Jimmy if they need anything

Became the new leader of the resistance

Kyles now on medic duty

Also a survivor

Makes sure weapons are all good and everything

Very good with the organization aspect of the apocalypse.

House is also very spacious

Overhears mephesto working on a cure so that keeps his morale high

Nichole is also staying with him and Jimmy, but mostly for security.

Girl can kick ass

Hope you enjoyed, anons!

[dappersautismcreature]

hey sorry this is super outta nowhere but i was scrolling thru the mcytconfessions blog n saw you saying youre a wilbur hater and im genuinely curious as to why?

this isnt me waiting to like. white knight him and bite your face off btw. i like wilbur but this *is* genuine curiosity pls dont be afraid lmfaoksdsdfkhf

ah yeah, sorry nonnie, and no worries. sorry for the rant ahead i just wanna lay it all out.

listen, its pure vibes, i dont really have an explanation for it. i liked him just generally for a while, but i watched a video where he talked about american gun control and it just came off super uck to me. like, a lot of british lefties have this weird thing where they will assume americans are all stupid just for kicks when we've actually been indoctrinated to think the way we do. i guess i just dont like seeing brits have political takes that are just pure "america needs to get its shit together" cause yeah bro we know, focus on whatever the fuck is up with ur government please. I feel like if i talked politics with wilbur soot he would be condescending as shit and basically explain to me what socialism is or whatever when its like, dude,, please. british lefties think they know more than the average young american, which is most of the time not true, or not something to insult someone over. (this is also because he reminds me of a shitty ex friend who was in the states for AMERICAN STUDIES but would just talk on and on and on about how dumb americans were -___-)

and its more than that, i never get idolization of people, like, online people. the closest ive come to it was technoblade maybe? gtws is pretty awesome too, bbh is low level idolization maybe. so it weirds me out when people are just in awe over him, makes my instincts go wild. im really not accusing him of anything, i know this is just the silly brain reacting silly. it just weirds me out. his fans do not know him, nobody's fans know the person, and yet they act like they do, and like he's gods gift to leftism and queerness when he is,, a cishet maybe-aro upperclass man from britain. nothing against him really.

oh, and his fans tick me off because theyre ALWAYS inserting him into things and just. listen, i dont like having to scroll through tons of wilbur fics in the qsmp tag when im just trying to get to some badboyhalo or etoiles centric fics. the man has been on the qsmp for like less than a week of playtime and he's the fourth most tagged character on the qsmp ao3 tag.

not to mention he gets dragged into other plots like "what if this actually happened to wilbur!" or "yeah but what if wilbur was there!" or my most hated "cant wait till this character meets wilbur because i cannot enjoy this media (which is about finding and enjoying a bunch of ccs) if it doesnt have my guy in it!" like i get it, you have a hyperfix or a special interest, ive been there, but maybe then go watch stuff he's actually in, instead of forcing him into a plot he really isnt that big a part of anymore.

people also praised his dsmp writing when it was,, average at best. honestly i think bbh's and the eggpire's writing did way more for the dsmp because they actually tried to include other people in the plot as much as possible, instead of just writing for you and a few of your friends. imo, c!wilbur was an ok character, like, nothing bad, but nothing extraordinary for me. utah is death, ok buddy got it, wow, insane. yeah yeah we've all been to the soul sucking pit of utah, haha i get it. << this is just pure salt ignore that lmao

oh and lovejoy didnt fuckin invent political indie rock, people need to get over themselves on that one.

so yeah, its just a thing of, i cant really bring myself to like him. the brain goes wonky when he's around. kinda wish i didnt like, get angry when he's on screen but idk i cant really stop myself. nothing againstt you if you like him, ill usually tag anyy wilbur neg with #wilbur crit so if you wanna mute that tag. i dont post it too often tho.

[mikeellee]

You know this scene does highlight a few things for me, again.

1) Redestro, while humiliating himself, is sucking ass to Shig to protect HIS people. I know we could joke about how he is a simp, I did too. But there more layers here...and Trumpet showing loyalty to Redestro dispite all...its pretty interesting. I do firmly believe Redestro and cia were plotting how to "detrone" Shig. But the war arc happen

2) Shig...got a hell up upgrade. He has money and army. Ressources AFO never provide for him and...now, he wanta AFO. "I defeat Macchia to prove myself for you" why his opinion matter? What was the endgame here? Shig is selfish but is he greedy? "I want more power" king, you already have power and you do nothing with it. Also, his views never change. I say, even if the goal was "Shig is an evil villain no redemption" his actions should make sense...and it doesnt. Hell, MPA doesnt make sense either.

3) I think I like the contrast here of Redestro humiliating for his people...and Shig is thinking of more power. It makes Shig look bad if "Izu shall save him" which yeah...make his plotline mute

4) back to your original self, quirk included??? The fuck this mean? How the doctor know Shig remembers all his past?

5) This is my kaachan academy and my abuser academy bc Shig cant be mad at the right people. The doctor gave him the hands of his family...and he is cool in let dr. Creepy do whatever with his body. "I will destroy all" but his abusers. Also, love how he is ignoring LoV here.

6) All Shig's actions and words arent organic. He is a plot device...and is a waste. So much wasted.

I'm sure I could say more but this is what comes to mind by merely looking at this panel.

[natashalie-lumley]

Welp, I kept saying I was going to write this the next time I was on my computer and then I keep forgetting and since I've already turned the dang thing on twice today I'm using my phone and hoping autocorrect catches most of the errors.

Lately I noticed something that I think used to slide under my radar (esp since one example is years old, both in terms of how long it's been around and how long it's been in my head), and it's probably thanks to tumblr honestly. Because both examples have to do with disability and having access to things as a disabled person, and also kind of in terms of privilege too. And those are both things that, while conscious of, I did not fully think about until joining tumblr. Anyway, here goes.

There's two pieces of media I've been thinking about that I feel show people not thinking outside of their own experiences. The first, and oldest, is from an episode of Parks and Rec. In it Ron Swanson and Chris Traeger are talking about childcare (someone correct me if I'm wrong please but I believe it's the episode where Chris has a nervous breakdown and is trying to learn "Ron's style of parenting" or something) and Chris mentions getting a white noise machine that includes outdoors sounds. Ron's reaction is to give Chris an incredulous look and say "you purchased a machine that mimics the sound of an open window??".

Now, I get it. Ron is a country man, he's lived around wilderness probably his whole life, and he seems fully healthy. So the fact that this seemed so weird to him kind of makes sense. I'm not saying it doesnt. What I -am- saying is that Not everyone can even open a window, let alone open a window and hear trees and crickets. People with asthma or bad allergies sometimes have to have the windows closed to be able to Breathe. People living in the city are likely just going to hear cars if they open theirs. And some people may even just like the predictability of recorded sounds because there's no risk of sudden scares. All things I wouldn't have thought of a few years ago, but now that I have I kind of want to poke Ron in the shoulder and point things out.

The other is from a tiktok series that I follow, which portrays some folks running a cafe. In the episode in question they talk about having set up on doordash and the following exchange happens

Employee 1: You did raise the prices 15% right?

Boss: of course I did. If they don't want to come in they can pay extra.

As someone who is currently carless, dependent on other people's availability, and just enough physically disabled that walking to the nearest grocery store (a block, basically) or to the nearest gas station (block and a half) and back is usually out of the realm of possibility... that hurt. When I use doordash it's usually for extreme purposes Because it's so expensive. And for someone to basically say "if they want to pay less they have to come here for it" as if EVERYONE COULD DO THAT made me so... angry and disappointed and made me start second guessing my abilities again. And in this case, I genuinely don't know if it's something that just didn't occur to the character (let alone the creator) or if they didn't care. And that sucks.

Anyway. That's my rant for the time being. Back to debating writing my Cinderella short here.

[mister-misogynybot]

Ive been playing COD since day 1. (yes im old) so it is painful to walk away now. i uninstalled the game today. no your kd wont go up..i sucked.

After what happened to Nick Mercs, i can't continue to support the game. Now that we all know ACTIVISION is part of an agenda that validates child mental and sexual abuse, how can i bring their product into my house?

If you believe children shouldnt be taught about or deal with social pressure over their biological gender, then you shouldnt play COD. not until they apologize at minimum to Nick Mercs and write a retraction. im not holding my breath. im just going back to PUB G. its just as much fun for me. i know its not nearly as polished as COD but i dont care. and yea i know COD isnt sweating the fact that i uninstalled, doesnt matter. im hoping theres another bud lite level boycott but i dont think so. the gamer demographic is probably 75% Gen-Zers and 10% Gen-Alpha's..i dont think they care. but their parents might.

if you disagree with this of course thats ok. but maybe you dont see whats happening to kids, you probably are a kid. if you are, COD just told you that your health and your life have less value than the feelings of a group of people (LGBTQCFP)

Think about it, all he did was voice his opinion ..but his opinion hurt their feelings. what was his opinion? glad you asked! "leave the little children alone, thats the issue" thats it...thats the opinion he shared and got canceled. If his tweet was a lie that could hurt people then sure punish him, if thats your thing. But he didnt lie, or push anti gay propaganda.. he referred to actual documented abuse happening everywhere. We live in a sick country.

There was a kerfuffle over the alleged plan of the LGBTQ community to include pedophiles in the group and add the letter P at the end of the LGBTQ acronym. That is false, it was a troll or a psyop meant to de-legitamize the lgbtq community. So they are on alert for people who try to correlate pedos and lgbtq. Thats why when someone like Nick Mercs says "leave the children alone" they lose their shit and immediately call it "debunked rhetoric, or anti-gay propaganda. The problem is very few think that lgbqt are child predators (at least i dont) but they are something just as bad or maybe worse.

first, todays gay community is coercing, applying social pressure and facilitating gender denying (its not gender affirming, but what a lovely distortion..nice try) care to children. they tell them they can choose to be a boy or girl, have a gender reveal party yayyy! even if the child can look down and see their genitals. Mommy why am i having a party? i can see my wee wee, im a boy...right?" His mom, horrified that everthing is falling apart answers "Now Now dear, dont jump to conclusions, all the invitations have been sent, you have until the weekend to decide if you want to keep your disgusting penis...and heaven forbid, live your entire life as a straight white man. And honey? when you refer to you your penis, say my "filthy meat"...dont say wee wee, that implies you take pride in it. ugh, that kind of toxic masculinity reminds me of Donald Trump. you dont want to be ANYTHING like him ok sweetie? Hes super rich, has a gorgeous wife, beautiful family and he's a former US president.. ugh! he's bad, orange man bad!"

"um mom? he sounds awesome" mom replies "youre not my son!!! Topple the patriarchy!!"

"mom, are you ok?

telling a kid with a penis hes not a boy, hes neither gender or both...is confusing and downright insane. and if the child chooses to be the opposite sex theyre immediately put on the path to denying their gender and they made their psycho left wing parents very happy. how often do the "gender affirmimg pediatricians" recommend therapy before the child is treated? id love to know, if its not 100% of the time then we have an issue. which reminds me, if we catch a doc who mutilates children without requiring a year of therapy as the first stage of treatment, they should bury him under the jail.

Second they are pushing sexually explicit and adult themed materials in grade schools all over the country to children who might not be fully potty trained yet. yea its sick

if youre part of the lgbtq community and youre angry about my "hateful rhetoric" then youre part of the problem. if you think its wrong to pressure children into changing their gender and/ or showing them how to suck dick in 1st or 2nd grade, then speak out against the people in your community that do. POLICE yourselves. If i met ONE person from that community who opposed some of the things going on, i'd have hope that we could come to an agreement and peacefully cohabitate. but as long as lgbqt takes the position that they do no wrong, do no harm, make no mistakes..ever...(and if you suggest anything negative about them, theyll have you canceled, punch you in the face or scream like a lunatic.) then ill be on the right calling them pedos. lastly, im in my 40's and i was never interested in politics in my life...not until i met a woke leftist.

my god, this is an epic rant. sorry about that. thanks for skimming.

[coridallasmultipass]

Vent / personal / s.i. / sh mention / long post / extremely negative dont read

I rly wanna fucking stop existing man life is too fucking hard I cant do this shit

My grandpa basically blamed me for the house's electricity usage when i literally only used my computer for one week last month and like 2 days this month. Anything else this month has just been phone charging or running my 2 small aquariums. Idk why i have to take the blame for that just because im a young person when my grandpa literally has been using large machinery in the garage and we rent out our guest house which has an a/c unit running ALL the time (our house does not have a/c or any internal system. Utilities are included in the guest house we rent so we pay for that person to stay cool while we sweat over here lmao.)

Ive been suffering for weeks in the 90-100 degree weather with no fan because my bathroom flooded due to grandpa installing the wrong fixture in my toilet (i literally only needed to replace the flap which required no disconnections! But he insisted, and now my only clean fan has been stuck in my bathroom with the window open letting in all the heat). Like. I enjoy the heat. Im fine with no ac. I tolerate it fine. But i need an occasional few minutes of being in the fan if the windows have been letting in all the heat. Normally id keep my blinds closed and the shower curtain closed so the heat doesnt get extreme but because i need to air out the bathroom i cant do that ((Literally when i lived in nyc w no ac, i would just go out to the living room and turn a/c on for like 1 minute while i stand in front of it, and then off again and i was fine for the rest of the night, i cant sleep with ac or a fan on or else i get hypothermic - i actually started getting hypothermic the other night because my blankets fell off the bed on a cooler night, it sucked lol))

Im so sick of having to wear shoes in my bathroom due to the carpet being pulled back, its uncomfortable to traverse that mess while having an injured back. Im sick of all the wildfire ash thats poured into my bathroom and probably my room too. (I had JUST changed my last air filter the day before the fire started lmao probably used up the whole thing already, i never got to keep my clean air room i had just started).

I had to deep clean the kitchen and deep vacuum the entire house with my back thats been injured since MAY since grandpa wont clean up after himself, and apparently my mom has also not been cleaning for years in her room (and my mom has the nerve to judge me for having a clean but cluttered room! Its her fault its cluttered because im not allowed to have anything of mine except food downstairs!). I havent been able to get treatment for my back because my mom has the only car and shes been out of town for the past month+.

Im fucking scared as fuck because i couldnt get ahold of a doctors office for a prescription for my endo and so now ive been having to take the leftovers i had of a lower dose. I live in a dead zone so a lot of the time i cant make phonecalls, idk if the issue was my end or the doctors and im just too stressed to try again bc if i think ab endo im gonna have a mental breakdown, its already bad enough having EXTREME phone anxiety due to not being able to understand people when they talk especially over a garbled phone connection. Im supposed to quit this med at the end of the month and idk how im gonna survive. I might not. I was completely su// ici// dal during the last couple flare ups. Endo is incurable and apparently im resistant to medication and surgical treatment. So its untreatable for me too.

Then theres my whole depression. This just fucking kicked off a really terrible mood swing and ive been like crying and moping in bed for hours trying NOT to think about where i know the things i used to s.h. before are packed. Bc that hasnt ever stopped being on my fucking mind since before i even started as a teen lmao. I cant stop thinking about how im existing against my will. Theres just no good way to die. Id feel guilty too because of how expensive my jaw treatments are and i havent even finished.

Speaking of, my jaw is still fucked and not getting any better lmao. Im in constant pain and headaches because of the aligners on my teeth. Im making myself sick from eating depression foods because by the time i take the things off my teeth to eat and drink, my mouth hurts, my jaw hurts, my head hurts, my tummy hurts, and after i eat anything i feel sick and tired and lightheaded from not being able to snack or drink when i want at my own pace, and then suddenly having to eat a whole meals worth of food in one sitting. (Not that i do that lmao ive been eating really lightly bc i am not physically up to the task of cooking or eating anything. I CAN cook. Just not physically, or mentally any more). So ive been eating terribly within my already limited diet. (And my jaw wont stop popping and cracking painfully every time i chew anything which is so humiliating and frustrating and painful and i cant eat a lot of foods i used to.)

There just too much going on all at once and im fucking sick of everything. I was already at my fucking limit before my mom fucked off to do pet sitting for a relative and went back on her word that she'd bring the dog to stay at our house. Which means ive gone since May without treatment for my back except for the chiropractor i see right after my therapy appointment. Which i dont think is doing enough. I dont know what more can be done when i constantly have to do back breaking things around the house. And when i told my mom ab how im not able to get the care i need because of her leaving, she turned it on me and said it was my fault for not making an appointment. Fucking gaslighting asshole. How the fuck am i supposed to get to an appointment 30-40 minutes away when i dont have the car? (Because theres no where local that will take my insurance, and i dont think even the places 30-40 minutes away will take it either.)

I dont know how anyone manages to live. Just existing is constant pain due to fibromyalgia and arthritis. Its constant hypervigilance and fear from the endo. Its extreme treatment-resistant depression (i fucking wish antidepressants worked on me lmao but that was the most miserable 5 years of my life trying every class of them). Its gender dysphoria and i cant transition because i cant work or live independently (its not safe for me to come out or transition while living in grandpas house hed kick me out). Its loneliness because i have like 2 friends i occasionally talk to online but no one close and were not on the same circles even, not like i even have a stable internet connection to do anything more than just over messaging. I dont have the mental energy to be friends w anyone either bc i have nothing to offer. Existing while alive is a full time job with no pay or benefits. I dont even know anyone irl thats not relatives (im not close with anyone in my family at all) or a doctor. I dont have a license or car because family wouldnt let me practise when i did have permits and i certainly can't afford the $12k a year it costs to own a car in Cali, let alone to purchase one. I cant work but im not disabled enough to be legally disabled. Certainly wouldnt be able to afford to live in this area/county even if i could do some work beyond an occasional online resale, which sucks because this is where my tribe is and i just wish this area was a better fit for me. Just doing things around the house is what caused my back to go out in the first place and now its a chronic fucking issue, and i can barely walk to the mailbox or do grocery shopping. Its not safe for me to live alone either, probably, even tho i cant handle living with roommates because im too asocial for them.

Im so sick of everything. Why do i have to be blamed for the electricity. Im an artist and apparently using the skills i spent 4 years learning at college and countless hours improving on my own is using too much electricity if i turn on my computer to participate in a week of a drawing challenge. What if i had a fucking work from home job?? (Not like that would ever happen, grandpa wouldnt choose the cheaper and faster internet plan i told him to go with and instead chose a more expensive plan with a different company that has a data cap, so now it sucks for no reason other than that he doesnt want to take advice from either a woman or a young person! [Im not a woman but he doesnt know that]). I cant even try to apply for any kind of work from home job bc of the internet. Its hard enough trying to make a call over data, having to put it on speakerphone and reach my phone against my room window while i lean over the counter. I was already unemployed before the pandemic due to the same mental health issues i havent stopped suffering from.

I wish that i wanted to live and do better for myself but whats the fucking point any more. I dont even want to live. I have no fucking reason to. At all. Im only alive bc there's no good way to die. Every day i think about how much i wish i didnt exist. It sucks and theres no fucking treatment that works. Therapy probably helps but its not making improvements for me when there are too many things out of my control making my life completely fucking miserable, its just damage reduction at this point.

I even exercise. Often. Despite the pain in my back and everywhere else. It does not help when i have fibromyalgia. Im in extreme pain even with the lightest exercise. But ive been exercising since the last endo flare up in fucking march in the hopes itll make my next endo flare up a little less worse if im stronger. Who knows if its working. Guess ill find out after the end of this month. God im so fucking scared.

I dont want to do anything rn im just so fucking miserable. But now my room is heating up since its the end of the day and im sweating too much to keep lying in bed being miserable. Idk what im gonna do. Besides ignore the ideation and knowledge about where my sharp objects are. I was working on sewing but i lost steam because of grandpa blaming me for the electricity sending me down a spiral. As if im not already doing enough cleaning up the whole fucking house and trying to prevent mold growth from the leak he caused and then laughed it off and wouldnt help me move (not my) furniture to prevent water damage.

Fuck i still have to measure the carpet padding so i can buy more later. At least the carpet itself is safe. Its getting dark out and i threw that padding shit outside and forgot about it last week so i dont wanna deal with measuring that right now. Ugh.

What do i even do when im too fucking depressed to do anything at all?? No one fucking prepares you for how fucking miserable being alive actually is.

[pesterloglog]

John Egbert, Jade Harley

Act 6, page 4302-4304

JOHN: wait, what just happened?

JADE: i dont know!

JOHN: it got darker, and greener...

JADE: :?

JOHN: this place is weird. when are we gonna bust through the other window, anyway?

JOHN: i'm kind of antsy to get on with our adventure and meet up with everybody!

JADE: yes me too

JADE: hmmmmmm

JOHN: what is it?

JADE: im just trying to estimate our arrival time

JADE: based on our current velocity, which is about as close to light speed as i can make it go

JOHN: i see.

JOHN: since we are going so fast, it should be pretty soon, right?

JOHN: like a few more minutes?

JADE: hmmmmmmmmmmm...

JADE: no

JADE: itll take quite a bit longer than that

JOHN: ugh.

JOHN: how long?

JADE: i would say

JADE: if i keep our speed constant...

JADE: we should arrive in about three years

JOHN: what!!!

JOHN: that is an absolutely preposterous amount of time.

JADE: i know!

JOHN: are you sure you can't make it go any faster?

JOHN: i mean, not to sound too demanding, but...

JOHN: didn't you say you can teleport stuff?

JOHN: why not teleport us there?

JADE: i cant!

JADE: not here, at least

JOHN: oh. well that sucks.

JOHN: why not?

JADE: the way i understand it is...

JADE: becs powers draw from the green sun

JADE: and the green sun presides over our universe

JADE: many universes actually! and the sessions that created them, as well as the sessions created within them

JADE: including the trolls universe and their session

JADE: think of it like a giant solar system, but instead of planets revolving around the sun, there are many universes

JOHN: uh, ok.

JOHN: that sounds...

JOHN: big.

JADE: it is!

JADE: so, bec was able to teleport anywhere in the universe he wanted in an instant, much faster than light

JADE: jack was able to do this too, within our session, and then when i inherited those powers from jadesprite, so could i

JADE: but we could only teleport locally

JADE: which means, bec could jump to anywhere in our universe, but not to another universe, or into a session

JADE: and jack could jump to anywhere in our session, but not outside it

JADE: we cant even jump to the green sun itself, even though we sort of serve as a gateway to it, and all its energy

JADE: and once we leave the suns domain, our travel is limited by the speed of light, like everyone else!

JADE: for example, the furthest ring is not in the suns domain

JADE: it is more like the suns medium, allowing it to exist

JADE: so if i wanted to fly out of our session and travel to the green sun, i would have to make my way there through the furthest ring at the speed of light or less

JADE: and wherever we are now is not in the suns domain either

JADE: so the same rules apply

JOHN: i see.

JOHN: it didn't really occur to me this was all so elaborate.

JOHN: like, if the green sun is at the center of a bunch of universes, like a huge solar system...

JOHN: doesn't that mean it was sort of important?

JOHN: maybe trying to blow it up wasn't such a great idea.

JADE: yes i think youre right

JADE: but to be fair, we were all the victims of a big prank!

JOHN: oh man, a prank??

JOHN: who pranked us?

JADE: some really creepy omniscient guy

JADE: it doesnt matter much, hes supposedly dead now

JOHN: oh. well that was quite a ruse then. that son of a bitch!

JADE: yes, but its not all as bad as it seems

JADE: theres a silver lining in all of this

JADE: like you said, a sun presiding over many universes has to be pretty cosmically important

JADE: who knows what terrible consequences there would be if it was destroyed

JADE: or maybe worse, if it never existed at all

JADE: which is what made rose and daves true mission an unintended success!

JOHN: their true mission?

JOHN: what was that?

JADE: to deliver the bomb to the empty location the green sun was meant to exist for most of eternity

JADE: and then create the sun in the first place

JADE: that is what the tumor was for all along

JOHN: ...

JADE: like i said

JADE: we got played like a bunch of suckers!!!

[epaily]

dont read this im not 15 anymore i shouldnt be doing this

my fucking god the guy i like makes me want to tear my hair out. we hung out on saturday n the feelings are reciprocated so we cuddled and kissed alot. aloooooooot and i was over the moon with that but i swear every 10 fucking minutes he was asking to touch my boobs. im not exagerating. he kept saying he wouldnt do anything i dont want to do and im sure he wouldnt hurt me anyway but dude still. what part of im not interested in that dont you understand

not even just that but a few times he was on top of me and he pinned my wrists above my head which i didnt really want already and ALSO he put a hand on my throat not squeezing but still there and i REALLY didnt want that this is the least of my concerns here. i didnt think he had it in him honestly hes the dorkiest looking motherfucker. i could snap him in half. anyway.

hes so painfully my type i want to scream. he has it all. why did i give him my number why did i let us be friends im ace why does my type have to include having a dirty mind. i hate it here

we couldnt find the tv remote at one point n he reached between my legs and told me to take it out n ive told him to stop making gross jokes where im the focus ive told him im uncomfortable and hes not funny and he doesnt care I KNOW ITS A RED FLAG I KNOW I KNOWWWWWWWWWWW OKAY but every single other fucking thing about him is so fckng endearing. hes gorgeous. hes a genius. he likes anime and spiderman. his laugh lights up a room. when he talks in hindi i cant stop myself from smiling. he bought me pocky. he sleeps on an air mattress. ive never seen him in anything other then a turtle neck. he likes fruity smelling soaps and candles, its the only luxury he allows himself. he has the coolest fucking glasses.

yesterday he asked if we could put a name to this, i couldnt get the right words out and ask him to be my boyfriend properly, half because im easily flustered because I Dont Do This amd half because i dont want him to be. im a coward and i run from my problems so last night after chewing on it for 2 hours i texted him saying basically that i really wanted to date and be official because i like his dumb ass but i also know we arent compatible and its better we stay as friends. which sucks. im a coward and deleted snap immediately after so i havent seen if he said anything. i missed talking to him today. i got used to texting him all day so fast. i miss good morning and good night texts. last time we didnt talk for a day he tried other methods and asked if i was ok n if it was his fault and like it is but it isnt dude its complicated i hate myself i hate myself soooooooooo bad. did i mention this was the day after he saw me kinda cry out of frustration and sadness and he said it was one of the worst things hes ever seen/felt 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

he already said that if we dated it wouldnt be forever. he wants to fuck eventually and he wants it to mean something and not be with a hooker (i dont know if ive said this but if i dated someone i'd be fine w them getting a lady for the night LMFAO) which is fine! hes a cishet guy thats his right to want. im just so mad because now we've kissed and we've made out and i remember what cuddles are like and im SO MAD. this is the most ive felt towards anyone in the 3+ years and i cant have it because of my stupid sexuality. i wish i had said no to hanging out. i wish i had self restraint. i wish i hadnt hugged him. if he asks to hang out again im gonna say no. i want to show off my books and coins and wrap ourselves in blankets hes so fucking warm-

god damnit. God Fucking Damnit im not a teenager anymore.

im not ashamed of being ace or whatever im proud of it I Am Just Me im just a person but god it makes me mad sometimes because ive missed out on people ive wanted before and i will again and to be entirely fucking honest i dont know if i ever will. i dont think its even worth it. the older i get the harder it will be to say im not interested because people will assume im either waiting til marriage or im a prude and it will be more common place because everything is only ever sex sex sex and im tired of it man.

im like 99% sure he told me to stop texting him because he wasjacking it yesterday. ye gods.

tldr im so mad i like him so much and i cant have him.

im going to fucking bed

[mod-casey]

HOW HE'D MEET YOU ! arataki itto x male reader

notes: reader is a dude bcuz im a gay man that likes itto and theres not enough male readers so fuck u ill do it myself ig 😈 also this isnt proof read, eng isnt my first language, and i did this in like 2 hours pls dont kill me lmao 💀 OH AND THIS ISNT A STORY, ITS A STORY IN HEADCANON FORM 😭 i legitimately suck at writing stories in story form so have this half assed thing instead 😓

warnings: cursing, blood, injuries & violence. (but its all very brief, not detailed, and not severe so dw)

arataki itto doesnt actually have a label for himself. hes never felt the need to do so, he just likes who he likes without much of a reason. if someone were to ask him which way he swings, he says: "i swing whichever way the wind will blow me to!"

you guys met through pure chance, and it was super cliche. as you were walking through the bustling streets of inazuma city after the disbanding of the vision hunt decree. he was also nearby, competing with the local children again.

after losing for the tenth time to the same child, he makes a loud groaning noise, which caught your attention (and the attention of everyone in a ten mile radius). while everyone else was looking at him with dislike, you were staring in pure interest, which he noticed.

his eyes widen as he looked at you. there was no way someone being so beautiful was legal, was there? he stared, and stared, and stared and st- "MISTER ITTO! HELLOOOO??"

one of the kids yelled, an annoyed look on his face as he just watched him stare at you for a good few seconds. itto finally snapped out of his trance, with a very clear blush on his face that he poorly tried to hide.

"oh uh- my bad, kid! was just a little tired- kind of spaced off for a little bit- but hey! im back on my A game, so lets go at it again!" he held out his closed fist, offering to play another round of rock, paper, scissors. the child bregudgingly accepted, knowing how this was going to end.

itto was hoping that he would win this time, specifically to impress the cute guy that was behind him. "rock, paper, scissors, shoot-!" the kid and itto chanted synanoumously, then revealed which of the three choices they picked at the shout of the last word.

itto held out a rock, and the young boy choose a paper. "DARN IT!" the oni yelled, once again catching the attention of everyone nearby. an adult all of a sudden snapped at him, condescendingly telling hin to stop bothering everyone, including the local kids.

"...did you really have to go and fight him?" you spoke as you patched up his wounds, caused by the tenryou commission trying to calm down the quirrel between the adult and itto. after they confronted the claymore user, he instantly started escalating the fight, straight up insulting them.

"well yeah! if they dare want to challenge arataki "the favorite of the kids" itto, then im gonna give 'em an ass whop- OW!" he winces as you dabble some alcohol solution to his face wound, caused by one of the tenryou guards punching him pretty hard.

"stop being a big baby, i've heard the stories of you and your adventures, you'll be fine." you spoke as you examined his wound, throwing away the cotton ball you used to clean his injuries, placing it on the top of the small bundle of blood red cotton balls next to you.

"yikes, thats probably gonna leave a bruise in the morning." you took a sharp breath in from sympathy for him, knowing its gonna hurt for awhile. "man, that sucks. i sleep on that side!" a small pout was put on his face as he complained. "don't worry, its not that bad, just some bruising and a bit of blood. it won't take that long to heal."

after a bit more checking, cleaning and bandaging, you finally stood up to stretch, while itto went to check out what he looked like with all the gauzes around most his wounds. "hm! i kinda like it." itto adjusted his hair a little while looking into his reflection, noticing a few hairs out of place. "kinda gives me the "badass, fighter boy" vibe."

after a long yawn, you looked at him to see what he was talking about. "woah- yeah you're kinda right." you nodded at the sight of your hard work. "right? anyways- sorry that you had to be the one to patch me up. my gang usually does it, but i gave the boys the day to rest since we didn't have anything to do today. my bad!" he gives a little nervous chuckle, shrugging his shoulders.

you smiled at him. "its fine, i don't really mind. i have some experience from needing to heal the other people in my adventure team, so its best i did it." a look of shock was suddenly on the other mans face. "woah- you have an adventure team?" "yup, we do alot of stuff all around teyvat. commissions, important bounties, peoples requests, all that stuff." "cool! if you ever need any help with missions, call my gang up! consider it compensation for the healing." he gave you a cheesy wink, which did make you laugh a bit.

"ill consider it, itto." was all you said, before you realize that your team was probably waiting for you, which made you quickly gather up your (somewhat) used first aid kit. you bid adieu to the oni very quickly, not even waiting for a response before heading back off to inazuma city to find your teammates.

"see you around, pretty boy!" he shouted while he watched you run away from his prephiral vision. it made him a little upset to know he couldn't banter with you anymore, but he knew that he would see you soon.

itto also starts to pack up his things, and head home to the camp his gang was staying at. he was excited to tell them about you, but after a bit of thinking, the oni decided to hold off on it for a little. when he sees you again, he'll definitely be sure to get you as a new recruit for the gang, and introduce you to them by then.

[faorism]

[very long post featuring a food truck turned tattoo ot3 au with mentions of former gang involvement, paying off loans, and carceral system including parole]

toby, instead of a cooking school for kids, works with incarcerated people and recent parolees. eliot has history with bike gangs and didnt snitch on anyone, but he always kept clean; they could never pin anything on him except some low level nonviolent crimes. eliot went through the program while doing time. he had a little bit of savings he kept aside, plus what he made working with toby after getting out. he got a dinky used food truck with all he had.

because the truck was bought rundown but cheap, he needs to take it in a lot to the shop closest to his mcsweetens. the best mechanic they have for a truck like that is parker. when she meets eliot, she squints and asks, hey dont i know you? and eliot flips through his mental rolodex and places her: sterling your parole officer too? which shes like oh yeah! that guy sucks right? so, about your truck blah blah. (she has had a hard life, in and out of juvie and foster care growing up for general nonviolent thievery. sterling nearly had a blood vessel burst in his forehead when she told him she got a job at a mechanics shop; she just smirked at him and said that her carjacking days were when she was a minor and hence, sealed.)

eliot puts out good food consistently until eventually, he gets traction and then he gets included on a show like diners, drive-ins and dives. his food truck gets HOT to the point that he can expand to a second truck, which parker offers to help him shop for it so he doesnt end up with another clunker. eliot is like, isnt that bad for business? and parker gives him a look and thats how eliot knows its real friendship between them. he may also kinda sorta maybe be attracted to her, but hes desperate for friends and also eventually she mentions having a guy in her life, so eliot doesnt bother.

then, a few years in, it may be ambitious with two (very busy!) trucks already out, but toby is willing to put in seed money for eliot to open up a brick and mortar, where eliot can have more freedom to experiment with his menu. eliot takes him on even as parker complains that he should replace his first truck first.

her suggestion comes back to haunt eliot when the truck dies right after hes signed the lease for the building. he feels DOOM but parker suggests that he can save on interior design by using the old truck parts for decoration. for all the years of steady customer devotion, she will chop it up for just the cost of materials and even that will be at retail price. which. feels like love really really deep camaraderie right there! (i think nate and sophie are used car salespeople who also have the side hustle of selling used parts, so they are parkers source for fixing the truck plus who she brings eliot to for the second truck)

it's a big expense to replace the truck and start up the business at once, but... eliot had a vision. he takes on loans which gives him a lot of anxiety, but its okay! his businesses continue to be successful, he can make his payments, and overall, he feels settled financially. so while not everything is smooth sailing, he's just really proud of what he's done and he wants to maybe have that reflected with how he relates to his body maybe. so. to celebrate paying off one of the loans and/or hitting an important anniversary of some kind, he wants to confront the fact that hes been wearing long sleeves since hes turned his life around because he has tats from his gang and prison days. it fits a marketable aesthetic, but he wants to move on.

he knows parker has a few tattoos of various quality: random things like a herseys bar and toucan sam. but her newer ones she's got since hes known her are very good, including a stuffed bunny toy on her thigh and (lately) her favorite tools down her back. he asks for who did, and she excitedly sends him to nana divine's tattoo parlor and piercing.

looking through the artists at nana's, he comes across a photo that stops him dead. its a gorgeous photo of sleeves: from the shoulders, citrus spills looking so plump and ready to eat in vibrant yellows, reds, whites, and greens on black skin. the fruit and leaves transform into circuit boards at the person's wrists. (alec, btw, has plans for an elaborate fandom space themed back piece; he has the outline for the enterprise already. also, on his legs he gets flashes by favorite artists plus newbies at nana's parlor who need to work on people flesh)

eliot sees that while the artist he was looking at (an alec hardison) didnt tattoo those specific tattoos, he did design them for himself. they... are gorgeous. and they inspire eliot like nothing else hes seen, and alec has done similarly thoughtful designs on light skin as well, so he's versatile. he says hes willing to do cover ups AND he prefers to work on large pieces/collections, and eliot is like yes. okay. okay. perfect.

eliot makes an appointment with alec, who is just so friendly and nice. hes younger than eliot expected considering his skill, but alec has been around nana's so long as her foster kid that he's moved past apprentice early. eliot talks about himself, more than he usually does with strangers. says how he is now a chef, and he wants to get vegetables and herbs, maybe some kitchenware or even truck/engine stuff if alec needs filler.

eliot says he is thinking just the arms and upper chest and shoulders since thats the most people see, since he wants to wear tank tops. he wants alec to plan it all at once.

(alec during this first meeting is straight with him: i dont recognize a lot of these, maybe cuz youre from way out of town. I won't refuse taking you on for this, but I need to know now if any of these support fascism or white nationalism. eliot sputters absolutely not, man. the fuck. which is nice! for sure!)

this is a dream scenario for alec, who is in love with the idea and likes the challenge of including coverups as part of the plan. he works not only with eliot for reference shots, but with parker. (parker, who he met because she has gotten her recent pieces from nana and who he has settled into a FWB situation, which slowly slowly slowly is progressing into Friends With Romance as parker warms up to him at a measured pace. parker helps with the engine stuff obviously. parker is very excited to work on something for eliot, who is happy to have her involved too.)

alec gets super into drawing the map for eliot. and then during his spare time, just.... keeps going on his tablet. he makes a separate copy of the file and just doodles the rest of what would be eliots chest and his back and down to his upper thighs,, and while alec's on the legs might as well keep going. it's a masterpiece that would take years and a fuck ton of money to complete. but obviously alec would definitely not show this because that's not fair and not what eliot asked for. this is just for alec.

when alec and eliot are doing a sit down to discuss the draft on alecs tablet, eliot is like wow. fuck this is. amazing. he asks if alec can print out a copy since he's more of a paper guy, so alec calls over shop grunt bre to print it out. hes like, theres the one that's flat and a separate file that's warped to a body, make sure to get both. when she comes back and hands eliot the paper, he goes silent.

and alec is like something wrong? and eliot turns the paper over to reveal that bre accidentally printed out alecs doodles for a full body map. its... honestly, a masterpiece. there would be a garlic braid down eliots spine. across the chest would be a "statement necklace" of chefs knives. his arms carry a bounty greens that he uses for his main recipes. theres the hint of machinery but also brick peeking out from strategic places, and its just beautiful.

alec is so absolutely embarrassed and guilty and he apologizes so hard. but eliot is like. so. i'll pay you for the full design hours. ill need to work out a budget thatll be extended over time so obviously no way this can be right away, even if we could fit it all in quickly with your schedule. you should probably make sure the design works with the rest of my tats but.... fuck man, eventually i want this all. i never would have thought to ask for this but... you have time to walk me thru it all? i can come in again if... alec is like omg yes.

eliot and alec spend a lot of time together. parker, knowing her two favorite people are together, join them when she can to hang out. eventually, eliot just starts asking parker when she's free to make sure if he has a session, she can join. alec makes a group chat for coordinating that quickly becomes chaos, memes, and begging eliot to come over to alecs to cook for them before they die of scurvy.

and as i said, eliot realizes two or three years like, fuck, i... i... really like this person @ parker. he wishes it was just wanting to have sex with her but nope, he's all i wanna kiss her and cook her breakfast. BUT he values their friendship too much to follow up on those feelings. and then he meets alec, and then he meets alec and parker, and eliot spends all this time with them, and eliot falls deep. plus, he doesnt want to make alec uncomfortable with his attraction to either him or parker, so eliot just tries to bundle it all up.

but theres only so much they can play themselves. i am not sure of the exact moment things tumble over for the three, but they do. they do, and they confess. parker makes sure to tell eliot that duh, of course she wanted him. like:

parker: okay but I clearly came onto you like. Years One and Four and you just weren't interested

eliot: ....what. no.

parker: yes i did

eliot: no, you didn't

alec: i distinctly remember her checking in around that time your two's Year Four about potential open relationship stuff if there was someone she really really liked.

eliot: absolutely not

parker then reveals she had asked eliot what she should order from the food truck sometime in Year One, thinking it was a very clear sign of interest and trust, and Eliot got the trust part of it, and fed her something delicious and even created a dish after he bought the storefront that exactly suited her tastes, but no, no he did not detect """"interest"""" at that or any other time.

eliot, turning red: hey! that aint nothing! how was i supposed to know!

parker: it worked on hardison

alec: damn eliot you could have been in this (points between eliot and parker) and maybe eventually this (points between all three) years ago

parker: so sad you didnt read the very clear signs 😔

eliot: (lip twitch)

and they have fun and alec keeps working on eliots tats with parker chilling in the room. eventually, once alec is Finally Done, he brings eliot to tat conventions for awards/display, which he of course wins. by then they are all together to the point of basically being married so there's a bit of, Look At My Beautiful Babe Who I Love. (eliot cannot help but preen a little.)

eventually, eliot gets alec to sign his canvas with his initials plus parker's, since she helped and because Eliot Is Like That, and ill just let you guess where those ended up 👀

[shkspr]

hi. on your post where you may or may not have ended on 'moffat is either your angel or your devil' did you have maybe an elaboration on that somewhere that i could possibly hear about. i'm very much a capaldi era stan and i've never tried to defend the matt smith era even though it had delightful moments sometimes so i wonder where that puts me. i'd love to hear your perspective on moffat as a person with your political perspective. -nicole

hi ok sorry i took so long to respond to this but i dont think you know how LOADED this question is for me but i am so happy to elaborate on that for you. first a few grains of salt to flavor your understanding of the whole situation: a. im unfairly biased against moffat bc im a davies stan and a tennant stan; b. i still very much enjoy and appreciate moffat era who for many reasons; and c. i hate moffat on a personal level far more than i could ever hate his work.

the thing is that its all always gonna be a bit mixed up bc i have to say a bunch of seemingly contradictory things in a row. for instance, a few moffat episodes are some of my absolute favorites of the rtd era, AND the show went way downhill when moffat took over, AND the really good episodes he wrote during the rtd era contained the seeds of his destruction.

like i made that post about the empty child/the doctor dances and it holds true for blink and thats about it bc the girl in the fireplace and silence in the library/forest of the dead are good but not nearly on the same level, and despite the fact that i like them at least nominally, they are also great examples of everything i hate about moffat and how he approached dw as a whole.

basically. doctor who is about people. there are many things about moffats tenure as showrunner that i think are a step up from rtd era who! actual gay people, for one! but i think that can likely be attributed mostly to an evolving Society as opposed to something inherent to him and his work, seeing as rtd is literally gay, and the existence of queer characters in moffats work doesnt mean the existence of good queer characters (ill give him bill but thats it!)

i have a few Primary Grievances with moffat and how he ran dw. all of them are things that got better with capaldi, but didnt go away. they are as follows:

moffat projects his own god complex onto the doctor

rtd era who had a doctor with a god complex. you cant ever be the doctor and not have a god complex. the problem with moffats era specifically is that the god complex was constant and unrepentant and was seen as a fundamental personality trait of the doctor rather than a demon he has to fight. he has the Momence where you feel bad for him, the Momence where he shows his humility or whatever and youre reminded that he doesnt want to be the lonely god, but those are just. moments. in a story where the doctor thinks hes the main character. rtd era doctor was aware that he wasnt the main character. he had to be an authority sometimes and he had to be the loner and he had to be sad about it, but he ultimately understood that he was expendable in a narrative sense.

this is how you get lines like “were the thin fat gay married anglican marines, why would we need names as well?” from the same show that gave you the gut punch moment at the end of midnight when they realize that nobody asked the hostess for her name. and on the one hand, thats a small sticking point, but on the other hand, its just one small example of the simple disregard that moffat has for humanity.

incidentally, this is a huge part of why sherlock sucked so bad: moffats main characters are special bc theyre so much bigger and better than all the normal people, and thats his downfall as a showrunner. he thinks that his audience wants fucking sheldon cooper when what they want is people.

like, ok. think of how many fantastic rtd era eps are based in the scenario “what if the doctor wasnt there? what if he was just out of commission for a bit?” and how those eps are the heart of the show!! bc theyre about people being people!! the thing is that all of the rtd era companions would have died for the doctor but he understood and the story understood that it wasnt about him.

this is like. nine sending rose home to save her life and sacrifice his own vs clara literally metaphysically entwining her existence w the doctor. ten also sending rose with her family to save her life vs river being raised from infancy to be obsessed w the doctor and then falling in love w him. martha leaving bc she values herself enough to make that decision vs amy being treated like a piece of meat.

and this is simultaneously a great callback to when i said that moffats episodes during the rtd era sometimes had the same problems as his show running (bc girl in the fireplace reeks of this), and a great segue into the next grievance.

moffat hates women

he hates women so fucking much. g-d, does steven moffat ever hate women. holy shit, he hates women. especially normal human women who prioritize their normal human lives on an equal or higher level than the doctor. moffat hated rose bc she wasnt special by his standards. the empty child/the doctor dances is the nicest he ever treated her, and she really didnt do much in those eps beyond a fuck ton of flirting.

girl in the fireplace is another shining example of this. youve got rose (who once again has another man to keep her busy, bc moffat doesnt think shes good enough for the doctor) sidelined for no reason only to be saved by the doctor at the last second or whatever. and then youve got reinette, who is pretty and powerful and special!

its just. moffat thinks that the doctor is as shallow and selfish as he is. thats why he thinks the doctor would stay in one place with reinette and not with rose. bc moffat is shallow and sees himself in the doctor and doesnt think he should have to settle for someone boring and normal.

not to mention rose met the doctor as an adult and chose to stay with him whereas reinette is. hm. introduced to the doctor as a child and grows up obsessed with him.

does that sound familiar? it should! bc it is also true of amy and river. and all of them are treated as viable romantic pairings. bc the only women who deserve the doctor are the ones whose entire existence revolves around him. which includes clara as well.

genuinely i think that at least on some level, not even necessarily consciously, that bill was a lesbian in part bc capaldi was too old to appeal to mainstream shippers. like twelve/clara is still a thing but not as universally appealing as eleven/clara but i am just spitballing. but i think they weighed the pros and cons of appealing to the woke crowd over the het shippers and found that gay companion was more profitable. anyway the point is to segue into the next point, which is that moffat hates permanent consequences.

moffat hates permanent consequences

steven moffat does not know how to kill a character. honestly it feels like hes doing it on purpose after a certain point, like he knows he has this habit and hes trying to riff on it to meme his own shit, but it doesnt work. it isnt funny and it isnt harmless, its bad writing.

the end of the doctor dances is so poignant and so meaningful and so fucking good bc its just this once! everybody lives, just this once! and then he does p much the same thing in forest of the dead - this one i could forgive, bc i do think that preserving those peoples consciousnesses did something for the doctor as a character, it wasnt completely meaningless. but everything after that kinda was.

rory died so many times its like. get a hobby lol. amy died at least once iirc but it was all a dream or something. clara died and was erased from the doctors memory. river was in prison and also died. bill? died. all of them sugarcoated or undone or ignored by the narrative to the point of having effectively no impact on the story. the point of a major character death is that its supposed to have a point. and you could argue that a piece of art could be making a point with a pointless death, ie. to put perspective on it and remind you that bad shit just happens, but with moffat the underlying message is always “i can do whatever i want, nothing is permanent or has lasting impact ever.”

basically, with moffat, tragedy exists to be undone. and this was a really brilliant, really wonderful thing in the doctor dances specifically bc it was the doctor clearly having seen his fair share of tragedy that couldnt be helped, now looking on his One Win with pride and delight bc he doesnt get wins like this! and then moffat proceeded to give him the same win over and over and over and over. nobody is ever dead. nobody is ever unable to be saved. and if they are, really truly dead and/or gone, then thats okay bc moffat has decided that [insert mitigating factor here]*

*the mitigating factor is usually some sort of computerized database of souls.

i can hear the moffat stans falling over themselves to remind me that amy and rory definitely died, and they did - after a long and happy life together, they died of old age. i dont consider that a character death any more than any other character choosing to permanently leave the tardis.

and its not just character deaths either, its like, everything. the destruction of gallifrey? never mind lol! character development? scrapped! the same episode four times? lets give it a fifth try and hope nobody notices. bc he doesnt know how to not make the doctor either an omnipotent savior or a self-pitying failure.

it is in nature of doctor who, i believe, for the doctor to win most of the time. like, it wouldnt be a very good show if he didnt win most of the time. but it also wouldnt be a very good show if he won all of the time. my point is that moffats doctor wins too often, and when he doesnt win, it feels empty and hollow rather than genuinely humbling, and you know hes not gonna grow from it pretty much at all.

so like. again, i like all of doctor who i enjoy all of it very much. i just think that steven moffat is a bad show runner and a decent writer at times. and it is frustrating. and im not here to convince or convert anyone im just living my truth. thank you for listening.