#OR EXPANDED HOW STRONG SHE IS AND COMPLEX

[tritoch]

Have you got any thoughts to share about Sphene? I saw your post about how misrepresented FFXIV’s female characters are, and I’ve been hoping to see anything more than the typical “Evil AI colonizer etc.” or “Tragic woman who can never change ever” or “Wuk Lamat’s girlfriend”. Maybe our interpretations will differ but I’ll be happy if you can provide anything more complex than those.

Sure! Throwing all this under a read-more for anyone who hasn't finished 7.0 yet. I think I'll probably expand on this more later but wanted to get initial thoughts down. (Note after writing: I meant this to be brief but uhhhh brevity is not my strong suit sorry. This take just sort of ends abruptly because I realize I'm rambling.) Again, spoilers through the end of 7.0 MSQ.

I think Sphene is the sharpest work the game has done yet in casting the antagonist as the noble double of the protagonist (a well it returns to a lot with Emet, and Zenos, and Golbez, and...). But because the protagonist here is Wuk Lamat and not the Warrior of Light, that's also a much more defined and interesting role. To me, Wuk Lamat is, above all, the Righteous Queen, who rules thoughtfully, wisely, and justly, and whose claim to the throne is justified by her moral clarity. Sphene, in turn, is also a wise and good queen, one who undertakes all her actions with her people first in her hearts, a sense of compassion towards all, and a clear eye for the consequences and costs of her intended course of action. And it leads to utter disaster, for her, her people, and the people of Tural. That rocks!

The first half of 7.0 is about justifying the fact that Wuk Lamat's going to be Dawnservant. Wuk Lamat is compassionate, curious, wise, and open-minded. She wins over rebels and malcontents not by asserting her authority or by strength of force, but by taking her obligations to them (as her subjects) seriously. She knows many of her subjects personally and takes a great interest in their lives, and she respects even those who openly oppose her.

And everything Wuk Lamat does, Sphene does to 11. Wuk Lamat respects her subject peoples and is curious about their cultures? Sphene forcibly annexes Yyasulani, but goes out of her way and expends Alexandria's limited resources to enable the remaining Xak Turali to live in their accustomed way if desired (…to the extent allowed by the new permanent lightning storms and the internal conflicts caused by regulator adoption). Wuk Lamat cares about her people not just in the abstract but as individuals? Sphene visits sick kids, knows them by name! Wuk Lamat understands the burden of rulership is too great and cedes half her power to her brother? Sphene recognizes her own weaknesses and makes a deal with the devil to keep Alexandria's culture alive! Wuk Lamat is willing to die for her people? Sphene will forcibly traumatize herself into being a better queen, if that's what rulership demands.

For an expansion that spends the first half being like "wow isn't this perfect candidate for the crown so likable and humble? wouldn't it be nice to be ruled by a good king?," it sure is funny that the final boss is THE QUEEN ETERNAL and she hits you with attacks like LEGITIMATE FORCE and ABSOLUTE AUTHORITY and ROYAL DOMAIN. This, to me, is Sphene's role: she complicates and questions the themes we've developed in the first half. Most importantly to me, she makes us ask: what is devotion to a people or culture even worth?

There's a thing I kept thinking of constantly during Dawntrail, not because I think it directly influenced the game in any way but because the parallels were so stark and startling. It's Jonathan Hickman's New Avengers #18 (2014). Truthfully, I'm not a big comics guy; I only know this sequence because Ta-Nehisi Coates cited it as inspiration for his Black Panther run on Twitter once (I also didn't read TNC's run, I was following him for politics talk). Forgive me, comics people, if I get any details wrong. The parallels are almost comical, though. It goes like this:

A superhuman secret society formed of some of the smartest heroes (and villains) in the land re-forms to oppose an existential threat caused by incursions from other dimensions that threaten to cause literal collisions between Earth and its alternate dimension counterparts. Seeing no other alternatives, they undertake work on a weapon to destroy these other worlds. T'challa—king of a fictional hyperadvanced nation called Wakanda, and also the superhuman Black Panther—meets with his ghostly predecessors, the previous Black Panthers/kings, for he fears the moral stain on his soul and the souls of the people of Wakanda, if they survive explicitly by killing their alternate counterparts, will be too heavy to bear. His ancestors are not impressed.

To them, there is no question at all. A king's duty may be complex in the execution, but it is simple in its conception. Your people come before all others. Always. This is, must be, the fundamental ethic of a good king. To do otherwise would be a betrayal of the social order on which this imagined good monarchy is built. In a situation like this, the only option is to do what you must to protect them. "Will there be a cost? Yes. Might the universe burn? Let it. . . . You will kill them all if it means Wakanda stands. The golden city must never fall."

"I will do what I must" is Sphene's guiding principle. It is so important to her that when she recognizes that her sentimental attachments are making her waver in her duty, she severs them entirely, sacrificing her whole identity to the throne. It is also implicitly Wuk Lamat's position: she has no choice but to fight Sphene because to do otherwise would be to fail to protect her people. In fact, it's briefly even sort of the Warrior of Light's position, as when you tell Sphene before her trial that you understand what you must do, which is shut her down to protect others.

(One quick thought about the Warrior of Light: one cool thing about the antagonist this time being a double in a more exact way than Emet or Zenos is that it means other characters get a chance to relate to her differently than Wuk Lamat. The Warrior of Light, for example, is pressed into her service immediately upon your first meeting as the Queen's Champion, there to defend her if need be against all evil. This role is further affirmed by both robot Otis and Endless Otis, who essentially hand off their role as her knight to you, and reinforced when you flash back to the "might I call upon your aid" moment right before the end. Except, of course, you are loyal not just to her, but to the principles she represents, which her own acts betray, and so your ultimate act of aid is to essentially pass judgment on her and execute her. In a sense, you become the internal safeguard that a political system is supposed to have to protect against this very issue, and which Alexandria explicitly lost when it cast out/forgot Otis. Very Voeburt/ShB tank quests, it owns.)

But really, it's Sphene who embodies this sort of grim logic best. Aside from her transformation into the Queen Eternal, it's also why she suggests you simply become Alexandrians. It's the only way for her to reconcile her values and worldview, which have backed her into a corner where preserving Alexandria has come to mean a maximalist declaration of war on all life outside its borders because the kind of absolutely pain-free life she envisions for her citizens is completely unsustainable.

In this reading, one of Sphene's main beats is to unsettle what has preceded her in MSQ. In nearly all respects, she shares your values. She prizes life, is curious about other cultures, believes in the greatest good for the greatest possible number. But she is also a queen, and therefore irrevocably (in her eyes) tied to her state. Gulool Ja Ja and Wuk Lamat (and Koana) are the mythical wise rulers, thank god--but what if Wuk had inherited a Turali state that wasn't desperately in need of cross-cultural understanding, but one in a state of war? What value would her deep love for the people of Tural have held then? Sphene says, it would have held no value. If the survival of your people means harming the innocent, you harm the innocent. Kingship allows for no alternatives.

But she also concedes, in the very next breath, that she is still kind of wrong. Because what happened here was not inevitable, despite her programming (a brief note: to me Sphene being programmed is exactly the same as Emet being maybe-tempered, it's a fantasy gloss on the idea of social and cultural education. "I was programmed for this" is really no different from "I was trained and educated for this"), because the truth is that this kind of thoughtful, principled devotion to the state and its people is also a form of sentimental attachment, in the end. One that is maintained not because it is natural, and necessary, but because the monarch, too, likes it, and gets something from it.

In so many ways, in so many senses, the monarch is the state. Kings and queens may fancy themselves merely a reflection of their people's needs and desires, but of course even a cursory glance at history will tell you that far more often, states reflect their rulers. Sphene and Wuk Lamat both suggest that their conflict was inevitable, but was it? Or is the truth, as Sphene glancingly acknowledges here, that she turned her own fears and desires into the same policy goals that led to this tragedy? And if so...what does that say of our Good Queen, Wuk Lamat? Perhaps this could be different if they met earlier, says Wuk Lamat. But when? When did Wuk Lamat ever not love her people so dearly that she would not have sacrificed herself for them, or caused mass death for the sake of their survival? When did Sphene not believe the Endless to be people, or the preservation of Alexandria to be the most important thing? Maybe she means "had we met before you met Zoraal Ja," but of course, we the player actually saw their meeting. And we know that Sphene even then was not the hapless naif she'd like to pretend. She always knew exactly what she was doing.

We know the price of this kind of thinking, this Hobbesian view that states are engaged in a struggle of all against all. Living Memory lets you walk through it. To preserve Tural, we exterminate the Endless. We befriend them, learn about their lives, promise to remember them, and then we destroy them and their homes, leaving nothing but a bleak blank landscape and the sound of wind. This is what Sphene would have done to Tural and Eorzea. Indeed, it's what she's already doing to the people of Yyasulani, because no amount of well-intentioned aid can make up for trapping people under the dome for 30 years and systematically eroding their culture through the resonators.

To me, this is what makes Sphene really work, that way she has of forcing Wuk Lamat and the player to commit the same kinds of sins she has. We'd like to think ourselves better than her, but of course, we've already reconciled with and integrated Mamook's brutal eugenicist regime back into Turali society well before we ever met Sphene. At the end of our long "wow isn't having a wise queen cool???" expansion, we are met with "Legitimate Force" and "Absolute Authority" and see them for what they truly are: nothing but tools of violence. No longer does the idea of the Warrior of Light hanging around Tural as Wuk Lamat's advisor have the same attraction, now that we have been reminded of the way the putatively unquestionable logic of kingship can ultimately lock even the wisest and kindest rulers into a path of war and exploitation and destruction.

I think Sphene is FFXIV's most interesting and nuanced depiction yet of a leader. She really, truly, wants nothing more than to save her people and protect them from pain. But even seemingly loving and compassionate goals like these can readily lead us down dark paths. She's a "hard men make hard choices"-type character, a noble but misguided opponent, but as a loving and elegant fairy queen instead of a grizzled knight or extremely sad man. She fucking rocks.

[flippinpancakes64]

ןhiii can i please ask for the cullen with a mate with a powerfull gift like elament control b i love 💓💓💓ur writing english is my first lanugne so sorry

The Cullens with a Reader who can Control the Elements

Hello! Thank you so much for the kind words! And don’t worry about your English, I think I understood what you were asking for

Thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy!

Edward:

He is astonished

When he knew you when you were human, he never would have been able to guess that you would have such a powerful ability

He thinks you are fully deserving of it though

He loves watching you use your powers

He’s always there if you want someone to practice with

He might ask you occasionally to use your abilities for something mundane

Just for the fun of it

“You should take the water that’s in that glass and dump it on Rosalie’s head”

And he is always there to defend you from the Volturi looking to expand their guard

Alice:

She's used to being the one with the most powerful ability in their family

But she did see this coming so she's not surprised

When you were still human she could see flashes of you moving water, bending fire, and shaping the air

She knew you would be amazing

She loves your ability

She could watch you work for hours

And she does

Her favorite pastime is watching you as you practice using your ability

And she knows how it feels for the Volturi to want you so bad they would be willing to do anything to get you to join their ranks

She's always on edge waiting to see if the guard tries to move against them

The Volturi will get to you over her dead body

Jasper:

He's shocked

He's only ever known mental abilities

A couple of the Volturi have the ability to manipulate the world, but it's still mostly mental

He thinks it's amazing, but he is also a little on guard

Whether he knew you as a human and you were turned, thus being a newborn, or you were another vampire who joined their little family, he's watching you closely

He wants to make sure that everyone he loves is safe, and since you have such a strong ability, he's on edge

But after that he is entranced

He loves watching you work

But he also understands if you just want to be left alone

And he doesn't like the Volturi anyway

So if they even ask if you would like to join them, he is on their asses

Rosalie:

I feel like she's always had a little bit of a complex that she doesn't have an ability but Edward does

So she's a little self conscious when the human that she fell in love with and turned ended up having an even stronger ability than anyone could have predicted

Cue the feelings of jealousy and inferiority

It takes her a little bit to get over it

But when she does, she loves your ability

It's very useful

She knows that she'll need to touch a human's hand but doesn't want them to get suspicious because she's too cold?

Well you're here and you can just sort of make fire so it's a perfect scenario

She needs to leave right now but her curling iron is too hot to just leave there?

Boom ice

And she's not afraid to kick some Volturi ass so don't even worry

Emmett:

Hell yeah

He loves it

He's so used to being the scary dog, now it's your turn

Like yeah stay away from us my SO will kick your ass

He thinks you're so cool

He loves watching you practice or do anything with your ability

And he has plenty of suggestions for what to do

"You should turn that puddle into ice so when that guy walks on it he slips"

"That guy just spent 10 minutes waiting for his pizza to cool down... you should heat it up again"

He likes to play pranks, and now he has you and it's so much easier to do

But don't even get me started on the Volturi

He legitimately hates them

Like he can't stand them

So if their old asses ever show up at their house to try and get to you they won't even be able to step inside

Esme:

She's amazed

She's seen so many amazing things since she joined Carlisle, but this definitely takes the cake

She just can't even fathom how you're so powerful and talented

She loves to watch you

And help you out from time to time

Even if she doesn't know what it's like to have an ability

She will do her best to educate you about the Volturi

She doesn't ever want you to leave or to join them, but if that's something that you want to do, then she won't stop you

She'll be very upset and sad, but she would let you go

She just does her best to tell you everything that she knows about them and that she has experienced in the past

Just wants you to make an informed decision

And hopefully not leave her

Carlisle:

He's met many powerful people over the course of his life

Of course, he's met Benjamin too, who has the same ability as you to control the elements

But that doesn't mean he's any less astonished

He always thought that Benjamin was a one in a million chance

So he is very interested to know how you managed to get the same ability as him

He's very helpful when learning how to control your ability

Even though he doesn't have one himself, he has raised three vampires who do (not including Jasper)

Like Esme, he prefers to tell you everything that he knows about the Volturi in the hopes that you'll make your own informed decision

He doesn't want you to join them

But he won't force you to stay with him

That's not his style

But if you express that you don't want to join them but they still try to get you to, he won't hesitate to fight

Vampire! Bella:

All she can say is wow

She's a little butthurt

I mean, she wasn't very happy that her only ability is "to have an incredibly thick skull"

But she is happy for you

She just wishes she was also cool

She loves to watch you work and practice

And she's very helpful with teaching you how to control your ability

She's the most fresh one anyway, it feels like she just learned how to control herself yesterday

And yeah she hates the Volturi's guts

I mean, they were fully intent on killing her daughter and her whole family so

She will fight again if she needs to

[the-offside-rule]

The Leclerc Sister {Headcanons}

Idk I'm just bored and wanna do some headcanons but if you wanna ask for more headcanons for drivers just lmk

(GIF IS NOT MINE: @brasiliangp

Role of each brother

♡ Lorenzo: Being the eldest, Lorenzo would be the responsible and wise older brother, offering guidance and a calm presence. Lorenzo, being the eldest, would naturally assume a guiding role. He'd often help you with important life decisions and be someone you can always turn to for serious advice. He would emphasize the importance of education and career planning. He’d help you with homework, discuss future plans, and encourage you to pursue your goals with diligence. While he might not be as overtly protective as Charles or Arthur, Lorenzo’s calm and steady presence would make you feel safe and secure. He'd quietly ensure everything in your life is running smoothly.

♡ You'd likely share some intellectual hobbies with Lorenzo, such as reading, discussing current events, or exploring cultural activities like museum visits or music concerts. Not to mention that whenever there’s a disagreement between siblings, Lorenzo would step in as the mediator, helping to resolve conflicts with a balanced and fair approach.

♡ Charles: Charles would be your confidant and biggest supporter, always making time for you despite his busy schedule. Charles’s dedication to his racing career would be a source of inspiration for you. He’d teach you the importance of following your passions with commitment and hard work. Despite his busy schedule, Charles would make time for adventurous outings with you, like spontaneous road trips, go-karting sessions, or even just exploring new hobbies together. If you have any interest in motorsports, Charles would be thrilled to share his knowledge and experience, perhaps even mentoring you if you decide to try racing yourself.

♡ He would be there for you during tough times, offering emotional support and a listening ear. His experiences in a high-pressure environment would provide valuable perspectives. Being Charles’s sister would bring some media attention. He’d help you navigate this with grace, teaching you how to handle public scrutiny and maintain your privacy.

♡ Arthur: Arthur, closer to your age, would be your partner in crime, sharing secrets, jokes, and adventures. However, there are often times that the two of you would bicker, leading to the pair of you to try outdo eachother on pranks as a form of Revenge. Arthur’s youthful energy and playful nature would make him a fun and lively sibling. He’d always have new activities or games to share, keeping life exciting. With Arthur, there’d be a sense of friendly rivalry. Whether it’s sports, video games, or academic achievements, he’d push you to be your best, always in a supportive way.

♡ Arthur would introduce you to his wide circle of friends, helping you expand your social network and feel included in various social activities. Arthur would encourage you to step out of your comfort zone and try new things, helping you build confidence in your abilities and interests. If you have any creative interests, like music, art, or writing, Arthur would be eager to collaborate and share ideas, fostering a creative partnership between you two.

♡ You'd have a close relationship with Pascale, your mother, who would be a strong support system and a source of wisdom and comfort. She would help you navigate the complexities of life in the spotlight, as well as a fair bit of telling off when needed. She's had three boys before you and knows how to handle bad moods and outbursts. She tries her best to keep you out of the spotlight and away from trouble, but Lorenzo often reminds her it's only a matter of time before people begin to try and look into her.

♡ Family dinners would be lively events, filled with laughter, storytelling, and delicious food. Each brother would bring their own stories and experiences, making these moments cherished and memorable.

♡ The dynamic between Lorenzo, Charles, and Arthur would create a balanced household. Lorenzo's maturity, Charles’s passion, and Arthur’s energy would provide a well-rounded environment for you.

♡ Growing up with each of them would expose you to a variety of interests and activities, from intellectual pursuits with Lorenzo, motorsport adventures with Charles, to fun and creative endeavors with Arthur.

♡ Despite their different personalities and approaches, all three brothers would be united in their love and support for you, creating a strong family bond that you can always rely on.

[nayatarot777]

PSA For Those Who Don’t Understand That Shit Ain’t Always Sweet Out Here In This Spiritual/Tarot World

I’m not one of these “love and light” tarot readers/spiritualists. You’re going to hear shit about yourselves in my readings that you don’t like, if that’s what Spirit wants to come out. Idgaf if it’s based on personal topics, relationships, work, health in any aspect - a lot of us self-sabotage. A lot of us are in situations with people and environments due to our own doing (partially). I’m not the reader that’s going to enable your perpetual victim complex and tell you what you want to hear to protect your ego from seeing a side to yourself that you don’t like. I’m not one of those readers who help you to lack accountability over what you allow into your own life despite having the option to do better. Of course I’ll try to put it in a delicate way where I can, but if a difficult pill to swallow is presented in a reading, I’m going to point it out.

I’ll point out your control issues that I see (no matter how much you try to hide or deny them). I’ll point out where you’re betraying yourself, where you’re disrespecting yourself, and where you’re disrespecting another. If you want to focus on love and light, then by all means - do that. But that’s the reason why so many of you are still unstable and imbalanced with no idea of how to balance and ground yourself. You think any of us could exist without darkness and negativity (which isn’t always evil and “bad”)? You think that you can exist only paying attention to the good parts of you without the bad? Go ahead and see how that turns out for you.

So many of you wonder why your intuition is thwarted and why you feel like you can’t connect to your higher self or the spiritual world without a “middleman” (such as myself). It’s because you’re not ready for that. Because you’re not ready to explore darkness within yourself in order to clear out a lot of the bs that’s clouding your vision. Why do you think that so many people who are great intuitives go through some of the darkest manifestations of life itself? Major abuse, betrayal, childhood wounds, just complete chaos - and they STILL come out to be some of the strongest and well-balanced people you’ll ever meet. They’re people who are strong enough to transmute darkness into light. You’re not going to do that by ignoring shit that you don’t like. And the darkness is terrifying. Exploring space, the deep sea, or any type of unknown is terrifying. But what would society look like if not one of us decided to do that? Where would we be as a human race if people with courage didn’t venture into those spaces and bring back a bunch of knowledge for us to expand our consciousness with? We all owe doing that for ourselves. Not doing so is self-betrayal and stagnation.

Intuition is represented by the moon. Does the moon emit light? No. Mother Luna is a dark entity and she lives in the darkness - which is the core of everything. And if you’re a woman/a feminine, you’re doing yourself even more of a disservice. Because darkness is pure, feminine energy. We come from our mother’s dark ass wombs. This entire universe began as a dark ass body of space-and-time before it formed physical planetary bodies and light sources. Reject yourselves all you want, but you can’t complain that you’re out of whack energetically if you choose to do so. Or when what you’re manifesting doesn’t come through (which also stems from the darkness btw). Don’t reject the darkness but expect to be able to use it when it benefits you. Sounds like shit that masculines have done to the feminine for centuries, huh? And so many feminines are doing that same exact shit to themselves. It’s sad.

We’ve seen entire groups of people with weak egos follow the same path of rejecting darkness/femininity and we see how difficult they are as people to co-exist with: ignorant men who have egos as big as the sun because they don’t want to face the hidden sides of themselves - that often times houses some ugly traits because of what they’ve allowed to fester in the dark corners of their psyche. Ignorant, male-centred religious people who identify so much with their religion that they only want to focus on the light, happy parts of their religion while ignoring how much harm that same religion can cause to others (especially feminines/women). Thats just to name a few. If you walk around with this idea that you’re nothing but “love and light” then just know that you’re another ignorant person in this world who is no doubt ignoring very real and human negative effects that you have on yourself and/or others - no doubt. And the darkness doesn’t always have negative effects (obviously) but it will when it’s suppressed and therefore forced to come out in uncontrolled, unconscious ways. If that’s what you want to do, then I’m not the reader for you.

[punksocks]

Black Moon Lilith: And Your Untamable Femininity

*based on my experiences, please take this with a grain of salt

Lilith herself is from Judeo mythology, she was Adam’s first wife but she saw herself as his equal and that didn’t work out too well so Lilith got banished and Eve replaced her. Because this comes from a traditionally patriarchal perspective, Lilith was too much of a seductress and an unfit woman so she literally was cast out and became a demon. (Side note: it’s so interesting that the stories all demonize Lilith but Eve had too much receiving feminine energy herself and received the devil’s instructions and ate from the forbidden tree. It’s a very damned if you’re too feminine and damned if you’re not feminine enough sort of myth)

Lilith aspecting your planets and your houses will often charge the native with almost Plutonian energy. Like imo Pluto and Neptune combined, because you’re charged with this dark feminine energy that’s the opposite of light/traditional feminine energy and on top of that people tend to project on to you based off of this energy. You bring a lot of people’s biases to light.

So Lilith charges the native with energy they need to “tame” in order to be considered proper feminine women. Lilith’s interpretations have expanded the more autonomy women have gained.

Nowadays being being a naturally sultry woman is less shameful right? Well no. Never mind how progressive they may act, many people will expose their real behavior to that sort of energy. It really weeds out those who are actually well intentioned from those who aren’t. Even if you say that you want progress for all types of women you may not have done the internal work to become the person that truly acts that way. Do you actually respect women that carry that sexual/untraditional energy or are you only advocating for a traditional/untouchable feminine person?

With friends, family, possible love interests, peers, and even strangers this question is act every time someone with heavy Lilith energy interacts with them. Because of how these relationships tend to go in a patriarchal society that encourages one kind of good femininity, Lilith natives often find themselves being “tamed” (i.e. shamed) for having this energy.

A lot of Lilith natives get ashamed growing up “not acting like proper women”. Because of that Lilith natives tend to try to force a version of themselves that fits this feminine mold. It often doesn’t work and just gives people the impression that you’re hiding something from them. Like you’re acting as a wolf in sheeps clothing when you’re just trying to exist the way they told you you have to and you cannot fully mute your energy to do so.

Most interpretations of BM Lilith are of women/femmes/people reclaiming the power and alternative femininity they tried to stamp down for ages and embracing the often revealing effects that Lilith has for the shadow sides of other people. I think it’s no coincidence that interpreting Lilith as a more complex figure comes with waves of feminism and discourse around what femininity means exactly.

The real trick is balancing Lilith’s energy- being proud of the advantages and strength that can be found in her energy without being consumed by dark aspects of how her energy may manifest.

Lilith in Aries/1st House: You’re fire and passionate incarnate. You stand out as a leader in any room you’re in with your confident aura. You were probably shamed for being head strong and impulsive. But your braveness and how you embrace yourself at your core is admirable. You need to tame your me first behavior, and to be careful not to bully and bulldoze others while still standing in your strength.

Lilith in Taurus/2nd House: You’re so sensual and tactile. You live for the pleasures of food and luxury, whatever your idea of luxury may be. You may have been shamed for being “lazy” but you can be very grounded and sensual. You have to tame your inner hedonist and make sure you don’t get too lost in worldly pleasures and that you don’t use others to achieve these ends. (Don’t swing to other extreme and deny yourself any pleasure either, you deserve to have a good life, just not to be consumed by having one.)

Lilith in Gemini/3rd House: You’re a charmer with wit to spare. You think about everything and analyze all of your thoughts on what is good and what is bad. You were probably shamed for how you spoke and what you spoke about in your youth. You have to tame your desire to be the smartest one in the room and the impulse to reject all learning. We all have to learn from some source that knew better before us, otherwise knowledge would be empty and cyclic. You’re not lesser if you do not know everything.

Lilith in Cancer/4th House: You have an in depth relationship with your femininity. You may have grown up in an chaotic environment with family scandals and secrets and intense emotional dysfunction. You need to tame your desire for total emotional control over people in your life. Through your fear of feeling lonely you may have poor boundaries with others by way of doing too much and intern expecting too much emotional devotion/sacrifice. If you don’t manipulate others to be emotionally tied to you, you’ll open yourself up to genuine emotional connections and healing.

Lilith in Leo/5th House: You’re so fun and seductive. You’re a star that turns heads and knows how to have a good time. You were probably shamed for enjoying attention and affection you received in your youth and you could’ve been shamed for having crushes and such before you even began dating. You have to tame your desire to be the center of attention at all times and to escape away from the problems of life into frivolous affairs. (This another case of balance, which I’m finding a lot with fixed Lilith placements. Don’t run away from attention and close yourself off from affection either. It’s okay to receive attention and to enjoy it, the same with dating and healing and finding emotionally fulfilling relationships)

Lilith in Virgo/6th House: You’re a hard worker and a very efficient one at that. You rarely get enough credit for how many problems you solve and how many people you’ve saved with your smarts. You may have been shamed for being too uptight in your youth when no one was giving you any support to actually be able to relax. You have to tame your inner overworker. It’s okay to take a break, it’s okay to make a mistake, you work very hard but you’re human at the end of the day. It’s okay to take care of yourself. (And to be honest about your s*xual desires) Also watch out, your co-workers may not be trustworthy.

Lilith in Libra/7th House: You’re a beauty and a radiant individual, and you probably have a lot of admirers. You may have suffered a lot of injustice/unfair experiences at certain stages of your life. You need to tame your desire for balancing everything. I’ll explain lol, you probably attract a lot of people that have extreme personalities and you pour a lot of energy into them in order to help balance them out. You may also become anxious or vindictive if you’re rejected romantically. It’s okay to understand where the line can be drawn and to understand that harmony cannot be brought to every person/situation, especially not through the efforts of one person alone. And that’s okay.

Lilith in Scorpio/8th House: You ooze s*x appeal and you probably have a mesmerizing presence. You have a very powerful energy. You were probably shamed for your interest in s*x/sensuality throughout your life. You need to tame your desire to escape from your emotions/trauma into your s*xuality. You also need to tame your tendencies to become obsessed with the taboo. (This needs to be balanced of course. You shouldn’t deny your s*xuality or your interest in the taboo. It takes a special type of person to explore these sorts of ideas. Just make sure it doesn’t consume your inner world.)

Lilith in Sagittarius/9th House: You’re a firecracker with a sense of adventure and a need for freedom on your own terms. You were probably shamed for being outspoken and questioning the institutions around you throughout your life (heavy emphasis on higher education and/or your family’s religion). You need to tame your need for freedom to a degree. If you have interest in traveling to certain places but a fear of becoming too attached to that place you should still go and have that experience. If you have an interest in a certain religion but you’re afraid of being trapped in that setting you should still learn about that religion. Institutions are old and carry their own hierarchies but they shouldn’t scare you away from exploration. (Be careful not to become obsessive either)

Lilith in Capricorn/10th House: You’re a powerful person. You have a certain air about you that gives off dominant/authoritative energy. People in power tend to listen to you. But you were often shamed for having such a domineering presence, whether you were exerting power over others or they were just intimidated by the weight you held. You need to tame this desire for status and power and any urges to become cutthroat in order to social climb. I believe this is why this position can be prone to having a scandalous reputation. It’s important not to lose yourself to gain power because you’ll lose respect. (Saturn lessons bby)

Lilith in Aquarius/11th House: You’re the definition of a free spirit, you’re really a one of kind person in how you express yourself and your tastes. You could’ve been outcasted socially from a young age, and you may have dealt with bullies/groups turning against you. You need to tame your urge to disconnect from the humane. (Again it’s a lesson of balance, embracing what makes you unique and gives you your ability to think outside of the box, but also not going out of your way to socially detach from all people to the point of embracing truly bizzaro behaviors just to feel that freedom.)

Lilith in Pisces/12th House: You are a person with a deeply ethereal sense about you. You tend to ride the line between the hidden and the mundane in all things you experience. It’s the hardest placement to pinpoint where you were shamed exactly, it probably has to deal with your receptive energy and your sensitivity to other energies outside of yourself, and due to your conscious or subconscious experiences you carry effects of this negativity. You must tame you natural inclination to drift, to detach and separate yourself in an effort to escape. You must balance your understanding and acceptance of the spiritual and the internal with your experiences in the world in order to not be lost to the tumultuousness of this placement. (also stay empathetic but prioritize taking care of your mental health)

[fangsandfracturedhearts]

Fangs and Fractured Hearts

Chapter 5: Rebellion

Summary: After embracing eternity as a vampire spawn under Astarion's wing, the Crimson Palace becomes a haunting symbol of the man he once was. As his personality unravels into a dark abyss, you flee. A year of hardship unveils the harsh reality of existence as a vampire spawn.

Just as all hope seems lost, a twist of fate reunites you with Astarion, revealing a glimmer of hope amidst the shadows. As you navigate the complexities of your relationship, you must confront the unsettling truth behind the Rite of Profane Ascension and the devilish secrets it holds.

In a race against time, you embark on a daring quest to save Astarion from his descent into darkness. With each choice you make, the stakes grow higher, testing the limits of your courage and determination.

Will Astarion find redemption, or is he destined to succumb to his own inner turmoil?

Word Count: 5.8K

Pairing: Ascended Astarion x female!Tav Spawn

Warnings: [Will try to continue to add more, but in general expect explicit content for mature audiences]

Possible spoilers. Eventual Explicit Content. Slow Burn. Thoughts of Suicide. Violence. Blood. Injury. Mature Content. Self-Harm.

If you notice a very critical tag missing, please don't hesitate to let me know

Rating: Explicit 18+ - [Meant For Mature Audience}

Run?

Your stilled heart may not be able to beat any longer, but all-consuming fear still afflicts your battered body. You feel the familiar prickling sensation of adrenaline expanding outward from your constricting chest like a glassy lake disturbed by a thrown stone. All your hair stands on end as you think about the approaching dawn.

Staring into the icebound pools of Astarion’s scarlet eyes, you think about everything he has stolen from you - your life, your body, your soul, your love, your loyalty, your freedom.

He has taken everything from me.

Your voice shakes, “The sun can’t harm me if you’re near.”

“How certain are you that I don’t control that lovely little benefit?”

“Do you?”

One of his eyebrows pulls down hauntingly, “Perhaps I do. Perhaps I don’t. Are you willing to risk your life on it, pet?”

“Yes.”

“What about dear Shadowheart’s life? I would give her a very warm bloody welcome when she comes looking for you.”

Shadowheart.

“I won’t let you touch her.”

“If you’re a pile of ash on my front step, I don’t see you having much choice in the matter, darling, but you’re welcome to loiter out here all you like.”

Astarion turns his back on you. You seethe with a noxious loathing - for yourself, him, and the mess you’ve dragged your friends into. A deep rage you have kept caged for too long finally breaks free of its prison.

With a bellowing roar, you lash out at him, casting Telekinesis and hauling him off his feet, throwing him across the courtyard.

His body impacts a stone statue with a thud, shattering it into rubble. The ground greets his body with such force that he bounces off it.

What have I done?

His muscles tense, and he shifts his body, using the momentum to easily roll back onto his feet. A weeping gash on his forehead causes blood to stream down his face, streaking it with vicious red to match his eyes.

“You’ll pay for that.”

I know.

His reflexes might be like liquid lightning, but you’re not some feeble halfwit. Even though you’re not sure it will hold him, you cast Hold Person on him, catching him off guard. You see his frame flicker slightly as he tries to turn himself into mist, but your magic is strong, fuelled by your rage.

Shadowheart.

You have a choice - you can hold your ground against him as long as possible and allow either the sun or him to end you, or you can try to make it home before sunrise. He may follow and hunt you down like a rabid animal that needs exterminating, but either way, your fate remains the same.

Gale. Shadowheart. I have to try.

You pivot and force your body to move forward as fast as you can. Feeding off your rage, hatred, and all the devastated pieces of your broken heart, you run.

You dash over fences, skip across roofs, pull on every ounce of magic your body can contain and Misty Step until you’re not sure whether you’re mist or corporeal from one moment to the next. You push forward erratically, skittering towards home.

You don’t look back. If Astarion follows, you don’t want to know. You already know the fate that awaits should he choose it.

Your muscles twitch and cramp woefully with over-exertion as you draw closer. The stars no longer shine in the sky as they are snuffed out by the quickly rising light of dawn, but you can see the little house just up ahead.

I’m so close.

As the first light starts to break over the horizon, you throw the old wooden door open, throwing yourself to safety inside, slamming it shut.

Backing away from the door, you wait pensively, wondering if Astarion will burst through at any moment to make you pay for what you’ve done. You watch that door with a fixed, heated glower for hours, but nothing happens.

You go up to your bedroom and sink to your knees on the ground. Without the swarming fervour of hatred to dull the aching of your heart, you fall to pieces.

He really is gone, isn’t he?  

The spasming pain in your stomach cleaves at you, awakening you from the troubled trance you slipped into. Your arms curl around your midsection, trying to stifle the recurrent waves of convulsing pain rocketing through you.

I need to eat. Badly.

You have to force your starving body to move forward. Your muscles cramp and jerk out of your control. Each step has to be taken with purpose and effort as you try to control your writhing body.

The journey is agonizing and takes you longer than it should. When you finally reach the forest, you’re already exhausted. You fill your useless lungs with air they don’t need in an instinctive sharp inhale.

Another spasm in your unruly limbs causes you to stumble. You catch yourself on a tree and rest your forehead against the rough bark, squeezing your eyes shut so tightly that the muscles of your face ache.

“There you are, little love. I’ve been waiting.”

You groan at the velvety smooth voice and force your eyes to open, casting them toward it. Astarion is standing on the other side of the small clearing.

Dressed in black, he melts into the shadows like an apparition. His clothing is reminiscent of what he wore the first night at camp after the crash, and you curse at him inwardly for wearing something that reminds you of old times.

You push yourself away from the tree and try to stand tall, but the cramping in your stomach persists, and you lurch over awkwardly.

“What the fuck do you want.”

“To talk.”

You scoff, “I have nothing to say to you.”

Astarion starts to walk towards you, and you grasp at the weave. Using Telekinesis, you throw him backwards, off his feet. He skids harshly across the moss-covered ground.

Once again, using the momentum, he tucks and rolls onto his feet, righting himself, “I’m not here to hurt you.”

Yeah, right.

“If you come anywhere near me, I will burn you with every ounce of magic I have!”

Will I?

He starts towards you again, but before you can cast anything, he shifts into mist and rapidly reappears behind you. Terrified, you turn, ready to defend yourself against whatever horror he is going to inflict.

You might be fast, but he will always be faster. He effortlessly grabs your hands and forces them together, rendering you unable to cast. You struggle against him furiously, but he easily overpowers you, barely wavering.

He snarls, “Why do you insist on making me treat you in this manner? Why do you fight me at every turn?!”

Make him?

You break into venomous, hysterical laughter, and his eyes widen in shock.

“No one can make you do anything anymore, Astarion. What you do and who you are - those are your choices to make. You have no one but yourself to blame for any atrocities you commit and your shitty behaviour.”

His eyes soften, “You’re right, which is why I need to speak with you.”

Wait...  

I’m right?

No.

Don’t fall for this again.

“Did you not hear me? I want nothing to do with you!”

He sighs, “I understand. If you wish, I will leave Baldur’s Gate and never return. You will never have to see me again, but you must hear me out first.”

�� What?

“I’m going to let your hands go now. Are you planning on attacking me some more, or will you listen?”

“Let go and find out.”

He chuckles, “Fiery as ever, my dear.”

Astarion releases his hold on you and puts his hands up in an innocent gesture, backing away from you slowly.

You watch him through narrowed eyes as he retreats. You position yourself in a defensive stance. A fireball blooming in your palm, and your fangs bared.

“What is this, Astarion? What kind of sick trick are you playing now?”

“No tricks. No games. Please, hear me out, but allow me to get you some food first.”

“You want to feed me?”

He nods, “It will allow you to think clearer. I can see you’re in pain…”

He pities me, but Gods, I am so hungry.

“No, thank you. The last time I accepted your help, it nearly got me turned into a pile of ash.”

His crimson eyes look at you sadly, downturned at the corners, “Let me help you. Please.”

Starving.

“Fine.”

“Excellent. Perhaps you should stay put. You are likely to scare everything away. Do you have a preference? Deer, boar, bear… Kobold?”

What the fuck is happening right now.

You wave a hand at him in dismissal, “It doesn’t matter. Blood is blood.”

Astarion vanishes somewhere into the thickly treed forest, leaving you with your thoughts. Your mind is reeling, confused, and unsettled. Your nerves buzz, your skin feels like it’s crawling, and you have no doubt that if your stilled heart could beat, it would be throwing itself around your chest, trying to break your ribs.

What part of the nine Hells have I fallen into?

Astarion returns quickly, and you consider for a moment if he may have poisoned the animal, but what do you have to lose at this point?

Once you finish your four-legged feast, you stare at him, observing his behaviour. He stands with his arms crossed, leaning against a tree, looking exceptionally pensive. His cardinal red eyes dart rapidly, never focusing on anything in particular.

He looks… anxious, scared even.

“Are you going to tell me what this is all about now?”

He jolts out of his thoughts, “Yes, of course. Do you feel better?”

Gods, yes.

You could almost moan at how relieved you feel - clear-headed, strong, no more gut-wrenching pain, turning your insides to mincemeat. Your muscles have stopped their relentless, painful spasming and are finally under your control again.

You might hug him simply for this feeling alone, but you lock your knees and keep your feet firmly planted.

“I feel fine. Tell me what you want.”

Astarion shifts away from the tree he’s been leaning against and steps toward you. You take several steps back, instantly lowering your centre of gravity protectively, and fire sparks to life in your hands.

He stops, a dismal expression on his face, “You’re afraid of me.”

“Observant, as always.”

Afraid doesn’t begin to cover it.

“What I did to you… What I’ve done to you… I… I abhor myself for it.”

You scoff, “Which part?”

“All of it.”

You stand there clinging to your fire for comfort. Your mouth is dropped open in astonishment. You observe his features keenly. His crimson eyes are downcast and glassed over, melancholic remorse shining brightly in the waxy moonlight.

His shoulders are slumped. His demeanour reminds you of the night he tried to bite you in your sleep, and you awoke to him hovering over you, fangs bared.

What can I even say to this?

He drags his fingers through the highlighted silver curls of his hair, “I feel different after the ritual. Something in me is… broken. I am not myself.”

No shit.

He looks at you with frightened, round eyes, “I don’t want to be this way, this person, but the power…” He looks at his hands as they ball into fists and clenches his bared teeth, “It corrupts, and I lose myself in it.”

“Why are you telling me all of this?”

“I need your help.”

“You want my help? After you threatened to kill me?” You shake your head, “What kind of morbid trick is this, Astarion? What games are you trying to amuse yourself with now?”

“No games, my love.”

My love?

Am I actually considering this?

Have I gone completely mad?

Tightness coils like a spring constricting your chest, and you let the fire burning in your palm retreat, “How can I ever trust you again? How can I know if this is real?”

Astarion comes closer with slow, deliberate steps, “You can cast Detect Thoughts, no?”

“Yes, you know that. You’ve seen me use it countless times. Why?”

“Cast it.”

“What?”

“You need to know this is not a trick, and I can hardly blame you. Cast, darling. Tell me what you see.”

Astarion continues his slow advance toward you. The one good thing about being dead and having no heartbeat is that he can’t tell how scared you are. You hold your ground with a rigid stance, muscles tight and ready to react at a moment's notice.

He searches your face, looking deeply into your eyes, “They never did completely change colour, did they? Your eyes, I mean.”

All of your friends had remarked that although your eyes did take on the red hue of his, your irises held splotches and slivers where your original eye colour was still visible. You wonder what it must look like, but your face will forever be just a memory until one day it too fades.

“I wouldn’t know. I have no reflection anymore.”

“I’ve taken much from you.”

My love. My passion. My life.

Astarion hand trails down your arm to your wrist before turning your palm up and kissing it softly, “Cast, love.”

Do I want to do this?

You shouldn’t even be humouring him; you should be asking him to leave the city as he said he would, but there’s something in his voice, in the way he moves, and in his eyes that you recognize, and it tugs at your inherent intuition. You grit your teeth and cast.

My Astarion… If there’s even a small chance, I have to take it.

“What do you see?”

“Nothing. I haven’t used it.”

“Why?”

“I’m afraid of what I might see, hear.”

He chuckles, “Me too.”

You delve into his mind. There is so much noise in his head that it makes it hard to focus on any one thought, and you struggle with isolating them. The cacophonous commotion maims your conscious mind and makes you want to yelp.

Shaking your head, you try to stifle the throbbing pain between your ears, “You need to settle your mind, Astarion.”

“How?”

“Focus on something that calms you.”

“Okay,” Astarion anchors his eyes on you, “try again.”

The chaotic mess of his mind batters yours as you try to focus yourself from one thought to the next. You manage to catch snippets here and there, but nothing concrete, nothing that can tell you if this is a trick, game or some other form of callous manipulation.

“Not calm enough, Astarion.”

“Is everyone's mind like that?”

“No one’s mind is like that. At least no one I’ve done this to. Thoughts are usually coherent and fluid like a slow stream slipping into a bigger river, but yours are chaotic, loud, like a raging storm.”

Although this certainly sheds some light on his erratic behaviour.

“What now?”

This might not be my brightest idea.

“I have an idea, but you might not like it.”

He narrows his eyes at you, “Well, what is it?”

You take a deep breath and exhale slowly, trying to calm the fear curdling in your stomach. Closing the distance between you, your lips meet his tenderly.

He’s shocked for a moment, and you wonder if you overstepped, but his arm comes around you, pulling your body flush against his. He deepens the kiss with a low moan.

Now, the hard part is trying to keep enough of your mind off this moment to be able to read his thoughts accurately.

You once again focus your spell. The blaring white noise that had obstructed and retaliated against your intrusion slowly drops to a low murmur in the background.

His thoughts start to form coherently, and you follow the meandering stream. You can hear them now, as long as you don’t allow yourself to get too lost in him.

A challenge all on its own.

There’s something different about his thoughts compared to others’ minds you’ve read. He’s in there, but there’s something else, something sinister that chants malice, hatred, and corruption. It grasps at and infects his thoughts as they flow, polluting them.

You can hear his thoughts as they drift.

“What have I become?”

“Who am I?”

“Help me.”

He’s not lying.

Having heard enough to get answers, you allow the spell to wane. You intend to break the kiss, but his mouth on yours feels divine. He hasn’t kissed you with this much passion since the night he turned you, and you soak into it and immerse yourself in him.

I have to stop this, but Gods, I don’t want to.

His tongue trails along your lower lip, sending spiralling shivers running down your spine, and you gasp, parting your lips for him. He explores your mouth skillfully, tasting you, and a growl reverberates in his chest. Feverish need washes through you in a deluge and pools hot in your stomach.

You push yourself further into him, trailing your hands greedily up the smooth contours of his body. His thumb sweeps affectionately across your cheek. He is the center of your universe, and you can’t help but be pulled into him. Your yearning desire swells between your thighs, and you sigh against him at the throbbing ache, begging for him to relieve it.

You can feel your rationality start to slip away from you as you gravitate towards him helplessly.

Reluctantly, you push him away, with a panting breath, “Stop.”

He groans but releases you immediately, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

Shaking your head, you hold your hand up to stop him. This wasn’t his fault. You had initiated it in the first place and allowed it to go on far longer than you should have. Your lips still tingle with the phantom feeling of his urging mouth, and you crave more.

His sultry gaze penetrates you, “I did very much enjoy that idea.”

Me too.

“You’re not lying, as far as I can tell, but I still don’t know what you think I can do for you.”

“You’re the only one that will stand up to me. Well, that I know I won’t kill anyway.”

“I’m not so sure about that.”

His eyebrows round, and his mouth drops open, “You think I will kill you?”

“Yes. I think you might. You’re certainly more than capable of it.”

“I…” Surprise dances across his features, “I would never.”

You scowl at him, “You almost did.”

“Darling, I was right behind you the entire time, just out of sight. I would never have let you burn.”

Was he?

“Oh, I see. So, you just, what? Enjoy seeing me running for my life, terrified? I hope you enjoyed the show.”

“I don’t enjoy it, but I feel… compelled to do it like something takes over, and I’m out of control…” he sighs, “again.”

“I don’t know if I can save you from yourself, Astarion.”

His eyes fall to the ground, full of sorrow and fear, and your heart breaks for him.

“I… I understand.”

“But I will try.”

I have to.

“You will?”

What do I have to lose?

Reflexively, you take a deep breath and nod, “Yes.”

Astarion takes your hand in his, “Thank you.” He smiles, “Will you move back into the palace?”

You pull away from him, “I have to think about it, Astarion. I need time to process…. Whatever this is.”

“Yes, of course. That’s eminently reasonable. Shall we discuss your terms tomorrow night?”

Another transaction for my help. Lovely.

“Fine. Until tomorrow, then. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, my treasure.”  

You sit in the stark chair by the fireplace in the empty house you share with Shadowheart and Gale. Anxiety prickles your skin and ripples through your thoughts.

Am I falling for another trap?

Agreeing to help him may prove to be your undoing, but when have you ever been able to resist him when he’s pleading for your help? It’s what got you into this mess in the first place - isn’t it? If the ritual did cause this change in him, you can’t help but feel it’s your fault.

It sounded like he was still in there. If he is, how do you save someone from their own corrupted thoughts?

Tears slip down your cheeks, and you bring your knees to your chest. The fire wanes in the fireplace as it runs out of fuel, and you allow it to die like you allowed Astarion to take your life. As the fire burns out, it washes you in darkness. You wish Shadowheart were here to try and talk you out of the stupidity you’ve just agreed to.

Can I even be talked out of it?

You have always been headstrong, likely to your own detriment at times. You preserve where others balk. That resilience had carried you through after escaping the Nautiloid, but could it carry you through this?

The hectic cacophony of Astarion’s mind makes you shudder. You’ve listened in on the thoughts of countless people and never encountered anything similar. It had been like watching a crystal-clear stream slip through a contaminated bog, turning it into a gelatinous, toxic soup.

Could the ritual have caused that? 

There was no way to know for sure. You had never listened to his thoughts before. Even when you had the tadpole, you never forced your way into any of your friends’ heads out of respect for them and their privacy. The only times you had crossed those boundaries was when the tadpole resonated with his out of your control.

Going to your room, you crawl into your bed. The wooden walls creak and groan eerily around you as if the ghosts of the 7000 souls you condemned were haunting you. You let your consciousness glide into the meditative tranquillity of your trance. 

You awake when the shadows have devoured the light again. Slipping into a tightly fitting robe, you bolster yourself for what’s to come. You run a comb through your hair and adorn your favourite circlet. The metal is delicately shaped in prancing dragons, and a shining red gem hangs low on your forehead.

A knock on the door makes you twitch slightly, though you already know who it is. Astarion is waiting when you open it, leaning against the doorframe, handsomely bathed in the small beams of pale light that slip through the parting clouds covering the inky sky.

He’s dressed in a fancy red and black jacket with silver and gold piping and finely embroidered. His scarlet eyes are vibrant, dazzling you.

“Hello, little love. Are you ready to discuss?”

Am I?

“Yes. We can talk.”

“Where are Shadowheart and Gale?”

“Not here.” You leer a warning at him, “Stay away from them.”

His eyes cast down, “Do you truly think I am such a monster that I would hurt them?”

“I don’t know who or what you are anymore.”

He shakes his head with a sigh, “Neither do I sometimes, my dear. Shall we get you something to eat before we talk?”

“You’re not dressed for hunting.”

He chuckles, “I may be a tad overdressed. I came from a business meeting.”

Business meeting?  

“Come, let’s go get you some food.”

You and Astarion walk to the forest in uneasy silence. A low fog covers the ground in an eerie, chalky mist. You keep a tight grasp on your magic, ready to cast at a moment's notice.

Astarion may seem different, but you’re not entirely sure if you can trust him. Part of you thinks this is all just another manipulation, and you’re walking straight into it.

The lovesick hero… Gods, he couldn’t have been more right.

“Do you always stomp so loudly when you’re hunting?”

You scoff, “I am not a hunter, Astarion.”

“Yes, that’s evident. How did you keep yourself fed?”

You shake your head, abject, “I didn’t. Not well, at least.”

Astarion strips himself of his jacket and shirt once he’s surmised you’re deeply enough into the forest. His pallid skin makes him appear almost ghost-like in the washed-out glow of the diffuse beams of light that flicker, cast from the full moon glowing brightly behind the clouds. His muscles appear as though they have been etched from stone by a master mason.

Fuck.

He looks ethereal in this moment, and you can’t pry your eyes away from him.

“Enjoying the view, precious thing?”

“Yes, the forest is beautiful tonight.” You cast your eyes upward before meeting his with a taunting glare, “I could take or leave your body.”

“Oh,” he giggles, “feeling bold tonight, I see.”

This feels too much like before he usurped the Rite of Profane Ascension, making you restless. You fidget with your hands and shift uncomfortably on your feet. Your palms are still warm, prepared to cast, just in case he turns on you like he has so many times.

“We can talk about what’s bothering you if you wish.”

You didn’t even notice him walk over. Astarion stands in front of you. His eyebrow is cocked, and he eyes you acutely with a probing gaze.

“No. I’m fine.”

“Stay put, and do try not to move about too much. You scare away the animals.”

You roll your eyes at him, “I’m well aware of my inadequacies, thank you.”

Just like the night before, Astarion returns promptly with your dinner. He redresses himself while you eat, and you mourn the loss of that mouthwatering sight.

Get ahold of yourself.

“Where would you like to talk? I presume you have… demands.”

“The palace is fine as long as you don’t currently have any… guests. ”

“Guests?” He cocks a brow at you, confused.

“Your new lover. Whatever her name is.”

“Oh…” He shakes his head, “It’s not what you think, my dear. We will discuss it.”

Not what I think? She basically told me as much.

Once you hit the city streets leading to the palace, you are overwhelmed by all the people outside, even at this late hour. They smell like prey, and even though you just ate, that hunger is insatiable. You could likely eat every person in this city and still not quench that sanguine thirst.

Their hearts beat lazily in their chests as they mull about, and it’s the only thing you can hear. You grimace and grit your teeth, trying to stay in control of the bloodlust that consumes you.

Astarion notices your unease. He had spent two centuries with it, after all.

“Hold my hand, little love. I’ll keep you safe and them.”

He holds his hand out to you, and you look at it tentatively, unsure if you should take it. A child runs past you, chasing his friends, laughing hysterically, and you grab Astarion’s hand in a death grip. You clamber and hug tightly to his side as you fight the urge to chase the gleefully playing children.

Gods, what have I become? 

“Eyes on me, darling. You’re alright.”

“Astarion, I can’t.” Your voice is panicked, pleading, “I need to get out of here before I kill someone.”

He nods and looks around, “Do you see that rooftop?”

“Yes.”

“Can you make it up there?”

You nod, “Yes.”

“Go.”

You cast Misty Step and disperse into a fog, reappearing on the rooftop. Astarion is already there waiting for you, no doubt turning himself into mist as he had done in the forest to subdue you. He holds out his hand again, and this time, you take it gratefully. Despite the fear he has instilled in you, there is solace in his touch as there always was.

Astarion leads you over rooftops, jumping from section to section and catching you when you inevitably nearly fall. The breeze up here is unhindered by obstacles and remains fresh and mostly void of the smell of the living, allowing you to calm your raving mind.

Walking into the palace courtyard, you eye the statue you had thrown him through in your rage just a few nights prior.

So much can change so quickly.

The square base of the statue remains largely intact, but the rest of the marbled-grey figure lies in large, jagged pieces strewn haphazardly on the ground.

Astarion follows your gaze and smirks, “I didn’t like it much anyway.”

You follow him into a large, lavish sitting room, obviously meant to occupy the spawns’ guests before Cazador came for them. Looking around the dim, dreary palace, you shudder.

I hate this place.

“Darling, do you mind?”

“What?”

He points at the fireplace, “Would you be so kind?”

With the flick of your wrist, fire springs to life, igniting the kindling and logs, crackling and popping. A soft, tawny glow casts across the room. The tacky paintings and art he hated still embellish the walls, and the furniture remains the same.

Why has he not changed any of this?

He sits down and watches as you glide through the room, inspecting it. You finally shake your head and bring yourself back to the matter at hand.

Let’s get this over with.

“I have stipulations.”

He chuckles, “I would not have expected any less.”

“I don’t want to live in this horrid place.”

He waves his hand dismissively, “This is my home.”

“It’s not mine. Let me be perfectly clear - I will not live here.”

He sighs, “Alright, but please tell me you are not asking me to move back in with Shadowheart and Gale?”

“Absolutely not. I don’t want you anywhere near them.”

“I will purchase another then.”

“I don’t want to see your lover. If you must be with her, you can go elsewhere. Return to this palace for all I care as long as I don’t have to see her and you together.”

“It upsets you.”

Your anger flares, the fire in the fireplace pulses and sputters along with it, “Yes, it fucking upsets me. Does that make you happy?”

He stands and walks over to you. You cross your arms over your body and keep your eyes off him, not wanting him to see just how much it breaks you.

Astarion uses his fingers to gently bring your eyes up to his, “Why does it upset you so?”

You scoff at him, “That’s a stupid question.”

“Be a dear and humour my stupidity then.”

“You wouldn’t even touch me after you turned me into… this. You barely laid a finger on me.”

His eyebrows knit together, “Did you want me to?”

“… Yes.”

“Why didn’t you say something?”

I wanted you to want me...

“It hardly matters now. Let’s move on.”

“I’d rather like to know why you care so much about the, what did you call her?” He cocks his head, eyes upcast, “Ah yes, my “purple-haired hussy.” You left me, remember?”

“You didn’t give me a choice. It was either run or be ruined by you, but I don’t wish to drudge this up. Let’s move on.”

He grabs your robe aggressively, tugging you close to him with a threatening sneer, “I said tell me.”

Well, that didn’t last long, did it?

Here goes nothing.

Reaching up, you grab one of his fists holding you, and you burn him. He winces, recoils and throws you to the floor.

“You little shit!”

“Stop listening to whatever is whispering to you in your head, Astarion.”

I need to snap him out of this, but how?

Your words in the forest float through your head, “Focus on something that calms you.”

Me… He anchored himself with me…

In a swift motion, you throw yourself up and wrap your arms around him in a tight embrace, “Don’t let it win.”

He growls menacingly, and you squeeze him tighter. Your whole body is trembling, terror-stricken, and you clench your jaw hard and wait for whatever comes next.

He’s either going to throw me off, kill me, or….

Astarion stills. His muscles flex and relax chaotically. You look up at him, and his eyes are tightly shut with his teeth grit together so harshly they rasp sickeningly. The tendons in his neck jut out unnaturally. His hands are balled into fists at his side. You reach up and cradle his face, and he snarls threateningly, but you sweep your thumb across his cheek.

“Hey, eyes on me, Astarion.” You echo his words from earlier when he had saved you from your own morbid, intrusive thoughts.

His eyes open slowly and meet yours, “Easy now. You’ve got this.”

Quiet minutes tick by without a word from either of you. You watch the war raging inside him through his eyes. They flash from cold and dead to the crimson warmth you recognize and back again while he battles with himself.

With a slight shake of his head, his whole body relaxes instantly, and his eyes warm again.

“I… I apologize. I…”

“Lost yourself, I know.”

He pushes you back and looks you up and down, “Are you hurt?”

“No, you didn’t hurt me, but I burnt you. Apologies.”

He looks at the reddened marking on his pale hand, “Think nothing of it. I heal quickly.”

“Yes, I’m well aware.”

Astarion’s eyes look at the floor, ashamed of himself, “Are you going to leave? I’ll take you home if you wish.”

“No. I believe we still have terms to discuss.”

“You’re still going to help me?”

You smile, “Always.”

“You truly are full of surprises, aren’t you?”

His confession at Moonrise rings through your mind. The memory is overlayed in sorrow, and your chest clenches tightly, remembering his words, “I want us to be something real.” 

You thrust the thought away as quickly as it reared up, “Are you okay now, or do you need a moment?”

“No. I’m fine. We can continue with your demands. You will not live here, no lovers, what else?” He smirks, “You are a particularly demanding little thing tonight.”

“You need to teach me how to hunt so I can feed myself.”

“We’ve swayed to this particular song already, love. Don’t you remember?”

“Yes, I remember. I will endeavour to be a better pupil this time.”

He chuckles, “You may get the hang of it in a century or two or three. Fine. I will do my best to educate you. Anything else?”

“When this is over, I want my freedom. I know you won’t turn me into a True Vampire, but I want to be free to decide my fate.”

“Why do you think I won’t?”

“You told me as much. “Trust me, it doesn’t happen.” After you turned me, I was too blinded to realize you were saying what I wanted to hear in honeyed lies. I am not so naive anymore."

He scowls but takes a deep breath, “Then you will have it, my dear.” 

Big thank you to everyone who takes the time to read/follow/like/reblog/comment/etc. I'm honoured to know you're enjoying reading my fics!

I'm sorry this chapter took awhile to come out - I've rewritten it so many times I've lost count, so I hope you like it!

Master List of Chapters: Fangs and Fractured Hearts

If you're interested I write another fic with Spawn Astarion x Tav called - Shadows of the Past

AO3 [Crossposted]

[somebodys-nightmare]

The Cloud & Tifa Love Story: An Analysis

This is a piece originally published to Twitter that analyzes not only the canonical evidence supporting Cloud and Tifa's romantic relationship and its root at the heart of the story of FFVII, but also the special nature of it.

Cloud and Tifa’s relationship in FFVII is a unique, complex, & subversive take on the childhood friends-to-lovers trope. The many layers of depth in their relationship make their romance and bond far more compelling and relatable than most fantasy romances.

Cloud & Tifa’s relationship is threaded w/ themes of distance & reunion: in childhood, adolescence, young adulthood, & adulthood. It’s the heart & soul of FF7, driving the protagonist’s arc & his motivations. The progression of their relationship also drives the plot forward.

Cloud and Tifa’s story begins when they are very young children. They live next door to each other & often spend time playing together. They were so close that they freely went in one another’s houses to play. This closeness isn’t a secret to anyone, including Tifa’s parents.

Distance first grows between Cloud & Tifa between the ages of 7-8, before the death of Tifa’s mother & before the mountain incident. This is important bc Cloud is the one who begins to pull away, & it isn’t because of her mother’s death & that incident, her initial assumption.

Cloud pulled away because he didn’t understand nor know how to handle the complex feelings he was beginning to experience for Tifa, especially as her friend group expanded.

Cloud was an isolated child. He was an introvert w/ a strong independent streak. He also had an inferiority complex that he masked w/ a desire for self-importance to hide his true desires and inner loneliness.

Tifa was the only girl her age in the village. As such, her friend group consisted of the other boys by default. They played together innocently as children. Cloud was not excluded from the group, but rather chose to isolate himself. (there is a well-known mistranslation here)

During the mountain incident, Tifa’s friends abandoned her, while Cloud, on the other hand - who had already begun to distance himself from Tifa - followed her. He wanted to protect her, but they both fell and were hurt.

Cloud took the blame for this incident and internalized this failure, especially because of the reaction of her father and the lies told by the other boys. Tifa, however, did not remember what happened and was confused by the incident and what she was told of it.

After this incident, distance grows between Cloud and Tifa. Cloud isolates himself further & his complex deepens into a desire to prove that he is not only better than the other boys but that he is deserving of Tifa’s attention and affection.

This also coincides w/ the children growing into adolescence & the expectations for the future. Nibelheim was a small, traditional village & there were expectations set for children at a young age. Boys were expected to be providers & girls were expected to take care of home.

The boys in the village seek out their prospects for future work & wives. Tifa, the only girl in the village, is the main attraction. Cloud is no different - except that the mountain incident proves that Cloud actually cared about Tifa. He didn’t see her as a prize to be won.

Tifa’s friends openly try to court her, even w/ her father’s blessing. Tifa politely finds ways to reject or skirt around their attempts - (a useful skill she’ll need later in life). She isn’t interested in anybody but Cloud. Meanwhile, Cloud continues to admire and interact w/her from afar. It isn’t until Cloud decides to join SOLDIER to impress Tifa - and to make up for his failure on the mountain - does he make his intentions known to her. At the time of this invitation, Tifa ponders the nature of her feelings for Cloud. She’s hopeful that he likes her the way the other boys do, but she’s young and thinks her feelings are shallower than they truly are - that she likes him because he’s beautiful and unreachable. She has these feelings because of how her mother once described him, but also because of how distant Cloud has kept himself from her, something that’s confused her since they “stopped being friends”.

But on the water tower, when Cloud declares his intentions to her, Tifa realizes that he isn’t unreachable but, but ordinary and real. He has the same kinds of dreams that any other boy his age might. Tifa, a 13-year-old girl, thinks that is beautiful and special and she falls in love with him. She asks him to make her a promise because she wants to see him again - she wants him to come back to her so that she can spend the rest of her life with him.

After this brief “reunion”, distance opens up between Cloud & Tifa again. Cloud leaves for Shinra & they don’t see each other for 2 (7) years. While Cloud is away, he is striving for SOLDIER because that is what he declared to Tifa. He wants to become someone special for her.

Meanwhile, Tifa goes on to learn martial arts & develop many other skills & hobbies in the village - all while not only thinking about Cloud, but admiring him for who he is to the point she even wants to be more like him. And she cherishes their few but precious memories.

When Cloud returns to Nibelheim at age 16 as part of the survey team to inspect the reactor, he hides himself from Tifa due to his shame at not getting into SOLDIER. While he is there, he is not only pining for her, but also striving to protect her. Tifa, meanwhile, doesn’t know that Cloud is there. She hopes that he’ll come - but not because she wants a SOLDIER. She wants to see Cloud, the boy she always wanted to be closer to, the boy she fell in love with, again. She’s disappointed when he doesn’t come.

Tifa doesn’t know it, but she is actually reunited with Cloud during this incident, & he keeps his promise to her, protecting her the way that he always wanted to. And Cloud doesn’t know it, but Tifa survives her injuries that day. Tifa is taken away by Zangan, ending up in Midgar. But she never forgets Cloud & still has him buried in her heart despite the challenges & traumas she faces over the next 5 years. Cloud is trapped by Hojo’s experimentation & transported to Midgar by Zack over this period.

This distance is closed when Cloud & Tifa reunite as young adults at the S7 train station. Cloud is incapacitated by mako & infected by Jenova cells, but seeing Tifa he awakens. However, his true identity is broken by the experimentation AND his inability to accept himself.

He creates, as a coping mechanism, a false persona - the “Ex-SOLDIER 1st Class” person - that is based on his ideal self - someone cool, tough, and strong - someone who made it into SOLDIER, possessing the characteristics of a man who can keep that promise to Tifa.

Even though Cloud & Tifa are ‘reunited’, Tifa knows that something is wrong - and it’s not only their mismatched memories or his mako-colored eyes. Tifa knows the real Cloud & this false persona raises her red flags, even though his true self emerges briefly with her. Throughout the game, this distance grows and closes and then grows again between Cloud & Tifa because of the false persona, mismatched memories, & Jenova’s interference, all of which Sephiroth - the villain - is exploiting. The ReTrilogy greatly expands on this, but the point stands - Tifa is doing everything she can to care for Cloud’s fragile state while trying to navigate the discrepancies in their memories.

At the Northern Crater, Sephiroth severs the bond between Cloud & Tifa by gaslighting them over these mismatched memories. When Tifa’s belief in Cloud wavers, his psyche completely breaks - the false persona is no longer enough to hold him together.

Tifa’s true, unconditional love for Cloud is revealed when she finds him in Mideel. When the world is falling apart, she chooses to stay by his side & care for him, not knowing whether he will ever wake up again. She does this because she loves & cares about the real Cloud.

It isn’t until Cloud & Tifa fall into the Lifestream that they have their true reunion. Tifa not only learns the truth about their memories, but the truth about Cloud’s feelings for her & why he did the things he did - including isolating himself when they were children.

The reconciliation and understanding they reach in the Lifestream allows Cloud to reclaim his memories and the truth and accept his true identity - flaws and all - through Tifa’s acceptance, love, and support.

After this, Cloud and Tifa confirm their feelings, closing the final distance between them under the Highwind. Once again, they subvert the common fantasy couple’s trope of bold declarative statements, confirming their feelings with actions rather than words.

Even so - they do confirm their feelings with words eventually - and then go on to build a home, businesses, and a family together, being by each other’s side for the rest of their days.

In adulthood, ACC introduces a conflict that creates a new distance between Cloud & Tifa. This conflict is predicated on Cloud falling ill to Geostigma and entering a depression due to his survivor’s guilt over the deaths of his precious friends.

Cloud distances himself because he doesn’t want to let down Tifa and his family and once again believes he is not worthy of them because of his past and his illness. He is already in a weak place because of his past traumas & worries about losing his newfound happiness.

Cloud works through his guilt with support from Tifa and is able to confront his past & forgive himself. With this behind him, Cloud returns to his family where he belongs. Cloud and Tifa are once again reunited and continue to live together as a family.

Final note- Cloud & Tifa’s promise is made under Tanabata stars. There’s clear symbolism. The Tanabata tale is about 2 lovers eternally separated & reunited. For Cloud & Tifa, this distance & reunion happens throughout their story - physically, emotionally, & metaphorically.

This isn’t your typical meet-cute and let’s go on an adventure together romance. This is a well-developed & nurtured relationship that has a long history and battle scars that many relationships couldn’t survive.

It’s a relationship meant to show the challenges, barriers, and misunderstandings that true love is capable of enduring realistically, one that is relatable to people living in the real world and not in fantasy lands with magic and fae.

It’s a relationship written with a lot of love and thought & was woven intrinsically into the plot of FFVII. Because the truth is - without Cloud & Tifa & without their love & bond, many of the events of FFVII will not happen.

Thanks for reading!

[oak23]

I'm genuinely glad that Wicked was allowed to sit in a lot of moments without feeling rushed or dragged on. Like the OzDust Ballroom scene was so fucking intoxicating and genuinely sold me on the shift of Elphaba and Glinda's relationship in ways I never quite got from the broadway show.

Or the extended sequence for Defying Gravity was so good. Like genuinely so so so so so good and I am sad that people's first exposure to this version will be the soundtrack version since it condenses the sequence into a 7 minute song. The full movie scene absolutely earns the emotional beats and I felt like I was listening to this song for the first time.

No One Mourns the Wicked immediately sold me on Ariana Grande's treatment of Glinda and I knew she was going to be amazing for the rest of the film. I was crying knowing the story and Ariana Grande absolutely sold the complex emotions needed for the scene.

The One Short Day Sequence adding more to the lore of Oz I think was pure fanservice but worked so well to expand the world without bloating it.

Making Dr Dillamond/Madame Morrible/The Wizard's singing portions a lot more understated I felt was a masterful stroke because as a medium, film is a lot more intimate and I'm glad they knew when to draw back.

The Wizard and I was soooo fucking good I was crying and smiling and I wanted to applaud at the end, it was so phenomenal. Cynthia in general absolutely embodied the softer and vulnerable side of Elphaba and she took such good care of the character.

Popular is just such a breath of fresh air and you can tell Ariana Grande would have done this scene for a penny because of how much she puts herself into it. Really sold me on the shift in Elphaba and Glinda's friendship from that point on.

What is this Feeling is probably the least strong of the sequences for me and that's only because it has so many other songs that are going 500% in and this is like 495%. It's the one that feels the most frantic and showtune-y of the lot and you can tell what a blast everyone had doing it, but also because of how closely it was to the broadway version I think it's almost too intense for film. It's also the only sequence that's currently out in full and I hope that it doesnt turn people off from watching the film.

The broadway show always felt so rushed and frantic so I was shocked how much the film was allowed to breathe and move at its own pace.

Genuinely so happy what a phenomenal job this movie is.

[aleksanderscult]

Hello, I started following your blog pretty recently and I agree with most of what you think. I felt so confused when I finished the books and came on tumblr to see everyone hailing malina as the perfect relationship and I was glad to know that I wasn't the only one who disliked him.

I wanted to ask you something, im not sure if I saw this on this blog, but someone said that zoya is an example of toxic feminism in YA fantasy. Which checked out to me, but it also felt that bardugo added misogyny, feminism and toxic feminism in the SaB series.

Misogyny since alina had to face sloot-shaming in every book (almost entirely by Malyen ugh 😒). I felt that she really tried and suceeded to be feminist with genya, since she actually stood up for herself and had many facets to her personality. She also wasn't an important character just because of her beauty or anything super superficial. Genya IS a strong female character, and she wasn't 'broken' by the king, despite the foul things he did.

But zoya.. my god, I really wanted to like her, but I just couldn't. She is mean and hot headed to the point where I really don't see any redeeming factors to her. I always liked 'mean girl character who isnt as shallow as she seems' in fantasy novels, but she didnt exactly have a redemption arc either. If the darkling had warned her about expanding the fold in the first book, she would have fought for him. I think she isnt a strong female character, but just a girl who is a bully and decided to help mc since the antagonist hurt her specifically. She doesnt even think of the other casualties of novokribirsk. I think the 'break nikolais heart, I'll comfort him and make a magnificent queen' part was a joke, but still....

Please excuse my yapping. I haven't read crooked kingdom and nikolais duology, so I don't know if the characters had any developement since then, so please ignore any innacuracies of this text pertaining to that. Do you have any thoughts on this?

(Do you allow emoji annons? If so, can I be 🎀 annon?)

(Of course I do! You can use any emoji you want and ribbons remind me of coquettish things 😍)

Genya in S&B was my favorite version of her. She was traumatised by the King's abuse, that's true. But she wasn't solely that.

(Here's a meta about that version of her that I once did)

She was very brave, vengeful, intelligent, politically aware, had a sense of humor and was kind. There were different aspects to her personality and wasn't solely "the victim" as many fans of the Grishaverse like to portray her. But in Nikolai's duology Bardugo either forgot how to write complex situations within a court or just doesn't know how to (or it doesn't suit her 🙃).

She threw all the blame to the Darkling (as if he was entirely at fault for her sexually abuse), forgot that Grisha were serfs meant to please and serve the royal family (hence why the Darkling gave her to the Queen) and also forgot how it was the Queen who withdrew her protection and allowed her husband to abuse her. Also, a slight amnesia to how Genya herself decided to stay and take revenge. Essentially, the character became Leigh's mouthpiece to remind the reader that the Darkling is a heartless motherfucker that is undeserving of redemption. How banal.

Now about Zoya. Zoya is the typical female character that we encounter in media nowadays. A girlboss that kicks ass, is rude, has no sensitivity and threatens everyone. Again, cliché. But Leigh broke her own in-universe laws when she gave Zoya the protagonist's role.

Meaning:

The narrative with Alina as a protagonist: "You can't have feelings for your enemy!! You can't be independent! You need to depend on your toxic, childhood friend and...what is this? Power?? You took three amplifiers?? WELL SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR POWERS THAT KEEP YOU HEALTHY AND STRONG!!"

The narrative with Zoya as a protagonist: "Take the amplifiers, take the power to turn into a dragon, let's also have a Saint in your head giving you advice and guess?!? You just got promoted into a Queen and soon enough you will marry the love of your life!! Kudos!!"

That's basically what happened.

It would be an amazing end if only:

- Otkazat'sya didn't hate the Grisha's guts.

- Zoya had the qualities of a leader and a Queen instead of being handed the throne on a silver plate from an illegitimate son who failed in his job.

- The author didn't break her own rules just to prove and show how "awesome" her protagonists are.

- The same author didn't copy paste the storyline of Daenerys Targaryen into Zoya's (somehow she needed to appear cool and sympathetic)

- Half of the fandom didn't hate the primary protagonists now than they ever did before.

So basically Leigh infuriated the fandom even more about Alina's fate when she gave Zoya everything.

And about your question if the characters had any development in the later books after the trilogy. I've got some bad news, my friend. 🥲

[quirkwizard]

How would you think the intensive quirk training at the summer camp would work for each Shiketsu and Ketsubutsu students if they were to participate in it?

Tatami: Pretty simple one here. Tatami just needs to suck herself in and out of her body as much as possible, increasing the speed at which she does both. Maybe should could practice things like sucking and hiding things in her body or trying to waddle along when she has both of her legs sucked into her. Maybe some hand to hand combat training would help out as well.

Itejiro: This would involve Itadori controlling any number of throwable objects on a number of targets. These would help him increase his understanding of projectiles he may want to use and trying to best apply them to targets. This could include targets that are constantly moving, targets that are made of tougher materials, or targets that require a specific item to hit it in order to take it down.

Shikkui: This would be equal parts experimenting what Shikkui could toughen up with their and how tough the stiffening process makes it. Something like trying to spread it out over the terrain with people constantly breaking it, using their power to try and protect whatever is left and make it tougher. Him learning to use it on reaction on objects like clothes would be useful as well.

Shindo: Part of me wants Shindo to just go off and use his vibrations on something big that wouldn't cause much damage, say on a giant Jello mold, to increase his resilience. I think the better option would be for him to try to refine his vibrations, focusing more on personal, small scale attacks instead of wasting everything he has on bigger moves. This could involve him using his vibrations through a piece of metal, needing to hit a target without breaking the metal.

Camie: Part of me wants to suggest that Camie learn to expand her illusions out to other senses, like smell or taste, but there isn't any indication she can do that. Instead, it would be neat for her to train to better apply her illusions in more subtle ways, like minor tricks in eyesight to confuse people, or applying them in more unique ways, such as using them on targets as a way to hide them. And she has to do it with a giant fan that will blow away her illusions.

Mora: Obviously, making as much hair as possible would work to expand his range and improve his resielncen to the pain of it. However, since Mora can already do large scale attacks with his hair, it be neat to see him train with more subtle uses of it. Like he could try using strands of hair to focus on multiple, complex tasks like picking a lock or . This would expand his focus and dex

Inasa: "Whirlwind" is already a really strong Quirk that Inasa is superb using. There isn't a lot room for him to grow or practice. I suppose you could have him trying to control his wind better without moving, like tying him up and trying to get him control the wind to do something. Maybe it could be using the wind to control other gases or flames, using his own wind as a way to direct them and potentially opening up new combinations with items or other heroes.

Seiji: Seiji has the opposite problem in that there is a lot of ways to expand on his power. To me, the most useful way would be him trying to expand on the ways he could alter and augment his own flesh. Kind of like what I talked about in his expansions. Some distractions would be good. Y'know, things like yelling insults, bright flashes of light, maybe taze him every few minutes. Just something to make sure he keeps up his concertation even under physical and mental strain.

[gofancyninjaworld]

The OPM Manga in 2023

By the numbers:

23 updates (most 14 days apart, shortest interval: 9 days, longest: 33 days).

662 pages (range 12 - 41 pages, mean page count: 29 pages).

Volumes published: 2 (Volumes 28 and 29). 1 bonus chapter included in Volume 28 -- Olfaction.

By the story:

Psychics and Temper Tantrums (chapters 176 - 184)

Well, the Monster Association is behind us but the fallout from it is slowly beginning to settle. Most of the heroes are now back at work and some of the consequences of a world that's increasingly scared of monster attacks are beginning to show up. The first quarter of the year was taken up with Tatsumaki's temper tantrum -- and Saitama once again daring a strong person to do their worst -- it's like he didn't learn his lesson with Garou, which disappoints me. [I love Saitama, but when brains were being handed out, he was not at the front of the queue.]

That said, even though I did not care one whit for Tatsumaki throwing Saitama around (it wasn't terrible, but really it could have been condensed into 1-2 chapters), the start of the Psychic Sisters arc was fantastic, and its ending was very interesting. I made a nuisance of myself at the start of it, pestering everyone in earshot with my excitement that Tatsumaki was taking Fubuki into her confidence to try getting Psykos out rather than trying to do everything herself.

Her complex feelings of disappointment, betrayal, and the sense that she'd made a mistake were some of the most complex and nuanced we'd seen in the story. She may be paranoid and misanthropic, but she's not crazy: there's a basis for her actions, and being knocked back just when she'd taken the risk of opening up was harsh. Unfortunately, Tatsumaki's default response is rage.. and I'm not going to waste time on recounting what happened then.

I felt pain for her here.

The end as well, expanding as it did on Tatsumaki's thoughts about how she'd accidentally woken Fubuki's psychic powers by scaring her so badly and the guilt she felt at having made her sister a target, was great. Her feelings about Blast are great, as this is the first time we get what she actually thinks of him. I still want her to learn that Blast doesn't work alone -- it'll blow her mind. The session ending with her giving the Fubuki group a chance to grow stronger and prove themselves is a fantastic development.

Even when she's giving someone a chance she still has to be scary.

Schemes (chapters 184, 187 - 191)

I really love how seamlessly the Psychic Sister arc flows into the next big theme: that of schemes and threats to the Hero Association's future. ONE has done a lot of work reworking the webcomic story so that the storyline is a coherent whole rather than two-three apparently unrelated storylines. Fubuki taking advantage of the chaotic aftermath to extract Psykos while securing immunity for her sister, and Tatsumaki brazenly using the HA's need to keep the rich clients sweet to scupper an investigation into Psykos's whereabouts was all clever. However, they're just amateurs and their antics played beautifully into McCoy's hands, who leveraged the crisis to make himself appear indispensible to the HA, thus making it very hard for him to be removed, even as he works to implicate the Hero Association in scandals (many of which he's running).

You can't call McCoy hasty: this guy has played a good long game.

The Hero Association is already having issues recruiting new heroes as they're going to Neo Heroes, which is also pinching existing heroes. However, it's not 100% going McCoy's way. Something I started praising in my review of chapter 173 is the greater self-efficacy of the characters in the manga. Sekingar and Sicchi haven't just been sitting on their hands watching McCoy sell the HA down the river. They've teamed up with Child Emperor to find out what he's really up to.

I think that this is the best cover of 2023: a collection of individuals who embody heroism, whether or not they're recognised as such or work in 'regular' ways. Well, there's one impostor…

Critically, they're not assuming that the Neo Heroes are necessarily evil: they want to understand what this outfit is actually doing. After all, heroism is heroism, no matter what guise it takes. To see that Sekingar has so earned Metal Bat's respect that the latter follows him into the heart of danger did my heart good [1].

Please, my poor heart, it'll burst if things get much more awesome.

Ninjas, Ninnies, Nintendos (193 - 199, ongoing)

That Blast has some connection to the ninjas from Sonic's Ninja Village has been clear for a long time in the webcomic. [2] However, it is only here in the manga that we're getting a full explanation of what that connection is.

Yes, yes, my partner may be a monster but he's a useful monster.

The intertwined story of Blast and his attempts to reach his former partner, Empty Void, who was also running a horrifying 'school' for grooming boys into assassins, and that of Flashy Flash and Speed o' Sound Sonic isn't done yet, but it looks to be reaching at least one turning point. It's a pity that the fan translators stopped translating the cover text because that for chapter 199 was incredibly pertinent: 'Staring at the back of a friend you used to stand shoulder to shoulder with.' Sonic has so much to process.

And like that, Sonic's world has been turned upside down.

Since Blast has an ongoing relationship with Empty Void, we get troubling questions as to how long Blast had known about the Village and whether he disapproved, or had been content to ignore it as long as he had his partner by his side and found his talents indispensible. It's going to be interesting when those two meet! Also, if Blast is hoping to reverse Empty Void's monsterization, he'd better hope that the guy isn't like most people who became monsters. Most ex-human monsters *want* to be that way and there doesn't seem to be a good way to undo it. Well, maybe if you chop them up, have Phoenixman (oops, he seems to have lost his powers) resurrect them, then shock them incredibly hard, that might work. It's unlikely that anyone present can deduce what happened to Gale Wind and Hellfire Flame, much less put all the working parts of that together.

Still, they're going to try. This *is* going to be interesting. Also, potentially heartbreaking.

Reappearances

Genos: the disciple returns to his duty

Unlike the webcomic, Genos has not been completely absent. He's been quite busy: helping Saitama recover their apartment, meeting the Hero Association to discuss important matters, and also, hanging out with Saitama as a friend rather than as a disciple. It's been fun to see that he's finally ditched his flip phone for a smart one, heheh.

Nevertheless, it's not until Dr Kuseno finishes his new upgrade that Genos sets foot in Saitama's house, formally reporting for duty, so to speak. I praise Saitama's self-discipline and good sense in not breaking eye contact and in politely ignoring his disciple's new-found exhibitionism until he had the sense to put a shirt on [3].

Less positive, it's been painful to see that Genos is frustrated at how he doesn't seem to have grasped the kind of growth he's looking for and is unsure whether Saitama truly sees him. It's not been helped by Saitama trying to reassure him, pulling his best 'Reigen' face and instead made everything worse. There are two interesting shames, which will surely be built on at some point. 1: We see Saitama seeing Genos's strength but he doesn't say anything. 2: Genos is right that the strength that comes from within is different from that granted to one by upgrades. We see in another chapter from Nichirin, that having artificial parts is no hindrance to pulling out that great inner strength. The funny thing is that Genos has shown that kind of strength before, when he was fighting Elder Centipede, but he doesn't know it.

Ah, despite everything, those fools are no better at speaking to each other than they were before! It'd be hilarious if it weren't so tragic.

Rarely have the words 'open your mouth and solve your problems' been more apposite. Sadly, that's exactly what they don't do.

Garou: the other disciple tries to learn duty

Now this really threw a lot of fans for a loop -- ONE making clear that he's aware of how young Garou actually is. It was very easy to read Garou as a guy in his early twenties, but strip away the pretensions and he's really young. His over-simple understanding of what was wrong with the world and his over-large sense of responsibility to fix it are thoughts of a teen. It's just a good thing that teenagers don't have world-shattering power, and so can be extreme and wrong without hurting anyone. But it has really jarred with a lot of fans.

I may be giving Bang the side eye as he implements his idea of reformation (apparently, it involves hitting Garou over the head often), but the sense of lightness Garou feels at having a reliable mentor, the relief he undoubtedly feels at having a way to work his crimes off -- being a social outcast may seem cool in a 'reject-the-corrupt-world' way but it gets old fast -- and being able to contribute meaningfully to the dojo's re-establishment is palpable.

His life is sure to start sucking again soon, but for now, it's a joy to see him.

Let him gambol for now. Go Garou!

King: ugh

Sorry, King just irritates me some days and this was one of them. Not because he was running around trying to find someone who could help him: that was fine. But because, unlike the webcomic, once Saitama told him to work out, he's continuing to stick around and play videogames. In a world where everyone is trying their best to make sense of their world and help themselves in some way, however imperfect, the sight of this poster child for mediocre white men overpromoted for looking the part continuing to laze about just pisses me off.

Let him start helping himself and I will praise him.

He's been told what to do but he's not doing it.

GAY!

This year, ONE said: here, my children, I have brought you a pint of homo milk. Drink. What else are we to make of Fubuki triumphantly cradling Psykos as she makes a clean getaway?

This has to be the smuggest 'got the girl' face I've ever seen.

Or Blast continuing to call Empty Void his partner, despite everything that the guy has done, including turning into a monster? He wants him back so badly, and though he says it's strictly professional interest, we think the man doth protest too much.

And then whatever's going on with these two:

Flashy Flash, you ain't got no business calling Blast soft when you're handing Sonic tissues and smiling at him.

Fandom Follies

Do we need to do this? Yup! This year, we discovered that a lot of dudebros who have been against the idea of romance in OPM have just been shippers afraid to come out and own it. The sheer number of Saitama x Tatsumaki fans has been incredible. Nothing wrong with SaiTatsu but the obnoxiousness of fans new to shipping has been hard to tolerate. Learn some manners, folks!

Asides

[1] I think this is great foreshadowing of something Forte says later in the webcomic to paraphrase, risking your life for another hero is something you do as a favour for a friend, not because someone's declared themselves the boss of you and ordered it. It's nice to see Sekingar embodying that ideal.

[2] It's hard to believe it, but to this day (chapter 149), Blast is not yet seen in the webcomic. At this rate, he'll show up at the very end to get jobbed by God (no ID), but not before giving an over-long exposition about what he's been up to. That is, if he's not already dead, only nobody knows yet.

[3] I can see SaiGenos shippers worried that my saying that it's good that Saitama isn't taking Genos up on his obvious attraction means that I might be disapproving of the ship. That is not the case. I'm going to assume that most of us here are old enough to vote, enter into contracts, and pay taxes and so can think of things with nuance and context. A fandom that needs the reassurance of canon to decide what's permissible is a weak, timid, and pallid imitation of one, and one I want no part of. For certain, we're here to discuss the story as it exists, but please, we're also here to consider and explore scenarios and make works that cannot and often should not exist in the canon because they are FUN. Even more pertinent, ONE is on record as LOVING that fans spend their time and creativity doing things with his stories. So please, don't allow any in-universe discussions on what is helpful or unhelpful in the story affect what you draw and write! PLEASE SHIP! Gimme!

[littlebittyhollowbugs]

Mantis lords headcanons~

First things first, the mantis lords names! We have..

Oriana (eldest)

Siara (eldest middle)

Biana (youngest middle)

Timono (youngest)

And additionally~

Tulian (Traitors child)

Mia (Traitor Lord's wife)

The mantis lords~

The sisters are triplets all a few years older than their brother.

Oriana is the eldest, the leader of the four. She is practical and stern, very composed and calculating. She is the face of the mantis lord council and tribe.

Siara is a bit more relaxed than.. all of her siblings. Probably the most open-minded and least stubborn. She is usually the one sent beyond the tribe to deal with outside affairs.

Biana is quiet and a bit secretive. More of a follower than the others. She enjoys working on traps, weapons, and leads the technological advancements within the tribe.

Timono was of lower rank than the other Lord's. (To gain higher rank one must prove to be as strong of a warrior as the elder Lord's. Something he, despite years of effort, had never proven.) Still Timono was a fierce warrior, who wanted more than anything to finally grant his tribe freedom from Hallownest.

(In case anyone missed this bit of lore- The pale king made a deal with the tribe that they must keep the spiders of Deepnest from gaining access into his kingdom and in turn allowed them to keep all their territory. The mantis lords all agreed though they still begrudged Hallownest and it's rulers. None more so than the eventual Traitor lord.) He wanted to put a permanent end to the war with Deepnest and their contract with Hallownest.

It was always the tribes intent to expand their territory into the West, And after the queen took all of the territory that would become queen's garden, while the mantises fought endlessly to keep the small area of land they had, Lord Timono became especially intent on standing against Hallownest.

Timono was angry, optimistic, and overzealous. He genuinely wanted what was best for his people, And would go to any lengths to achieve that. His more pessimistic and calculating sisters, while in agreement with his motivations, did not agree with his plans for action.

They knew they did not stand a chance taking up arms against Hallownest. He was angry with them, believing them to be cowards. They would very often butt heads over this, and Timono was of course always outnumbered by his sisters so his plans were never put into action.

That is until he began a rebellion against them. Another important aspect of his character, is that he was an excellent leader and motivator. He was the most extroverted of the four by far, incredibly passionate and optimistic as I've said, and after ascending to the rank of lord, he easily gained the favor of a large portion of the tribe.

Traitor Lord's family~

He was married to a war leader, named Mia. Mia had spent almost all her life fighting and dreamt of a peaceful era for the tribe. The two of them bonded over their dreams and ideals.

His wife died shortly after their child was born. (She died in battle against Deepnest.)

Tulian, the name that we've given the traitor's child, was similar to both parents, an idealist who longed for a better future, though much more gentle and patient than her father, And of course eventually becoming much more sympathetic toward Hallownest. Coming to believe that they should find a more peaceful end to the conflict between the lands. Timono loved his child more than anything, and was extremely protective of her, Though her sympathy toward Hallownest did create a rift between them. (The more complex the parent-child relationship, the more obsessed we become, or so go the written legends)

The rebellion and the infection~

Now.. exactly how this plays out in our story, may not be exactly what was implied in game and I acknowledge that. The Hunter's notes about the traitor lord seem to imply that he took in the infection and was then banished from the tribe. But in the backstory we've written it happens the other way around. (Our excuse is that the hunter probably isn't aware of the exact details of the mantis tribes affairs haha)

Anyway this made more sense to our characters,

Basically eventually after attempting for years to get his sisters to agree to expanding their territory into the garden, Timono finally decided to take matters into his own hands and lead a rebellion against his sisters. (He was hopeful that if the tribe would strike during the spread of the infection when their enemy was most vulnerable, they would be able to conquer. his sisters did not agree, civil conflict ensues) He had many followers and the conflict was devastating to the tribe.

He and his followers were defeated and driven from the village. They were branded traitors, and were left to fight for the garden without any support.

Now Tulian wanted to try and negotiate a peaceful resolution with the Queen. This attempt did not end well. Upon being refused his demands the traitor lord lead an attack against the queen, and in the conflict Tulian was killed.

The traitor lord and his warriors retreated into the lower garden, now more devasted and desperate than ever before.

The traitor lord had heard much about the infection over the years. He knew that it was dangerous, but that it granted any bug greater strength, At the cost of their minds. He believed that, as mantises (higher minded beings) that the infection would not be as devastating to their minds as to the common bug. That they would be able to attain some control, And it would be worth it to obtain that strength.

He was also incredibly desperate, and grieving the loss of the last of his family. He believed there was no other option. They were surrounded by enemies on all sides, Hallownest, Deepnest, even their own tribe. So he lead all of his followers in taking in the infection to gain the power of the radiance.

And from there on things are pretty self explanatory..

The future of the mantis tribe~

In our new hallownest happy ending au, the lands of hallownest are all brought together in rebuilding the kingdom and the mantis tribe does get to expand. There are eventually three main villages. The capitol village in the fungal waste, The battleground village in what was once north eastern deepest, And the garden village in what was once northern Queen's garden. As well as roadways between them. Each village is ruled by one of the mantis lords.

A little extra stuff about the whole mantis family and their relationships with each other~

The sisters are all incredibly close, and have been since birth. Siara and Biana are especially in sync with one another in most areas.

They did love their brother, though there has always been some distance between them and him. He looked up to them greatly in his youth and wanted more than anything to be treated equally with them. Something, he felt, never came to be. (The more dramatic the sibling relationship the more obsessed we become, or so go the written legends)

He was closest with Biana out of the three. But her eagerness to please her sisters stood between her siding with him on most matters.

The Lords also all deeply cared for Tulian. Timono was protective, but his sisters were all equally protective aunts. This made the banishment of the traitors all the more devastating to them.

They held much respect for the sister they gained through their brother's marriage as well. A most honorable defender of the tribe, who had been involved in many battles.

Timono loved his wife dearly of course. She was as inspiring to him as he was to her. (The more in love the married couple are with each other, the more obsessed we become, or so go th-)

And Tulian did not get much of chance to know her mother, but was told very many inspiring tales.

This is just the basics and I'll probably add more to it later. We have lots of smaller headcanons about this family as well.

[room-surprise]

Dungeon Meshi Anime Review, Season 2, Episode 19 review

Izutsumi arrives! And Marcille has a nightmare.

This is an interesting episode but I know my spouse and I had desperately hoped that they would re-organize things somehow. Marcille's plot in this feels painfully tacked on and unrelated to Izutsumi's introduction, and the concept of the nightmare is so good, it could have easily been expanded to be an entire episode on its own. I wish they'd done that. They could have paired Izu's intro with the ice golem story to have one all-Izutsumi episode and then one all-Marcille episode... alas.

Those are changes I would have LIKED to see, but here's some changes I didn't like:

(MAJOR MANGA AND ANIME SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT!!!)

Trigger removed Laios' mother's only speaking line in the manga. It would have taken SO LITTLE to have someone read this single sentence, and removing it, in my opinion, has a negative impact on the story as a whole.

It SOUNDS like a generic thing when she asks Laios "When will you give us grandchildren?" But this is actually really important. Laios is afraid of being forced to make a family and participate in society. This is unusual because he's a man, most men in a historic time period of this don't really care about such things, but Laios is so afraid of it, it's a recurring nightmare!

This is also why he acted so weird seeing a loving father/baby scene in the magic paintings chapter. He hated seeing a father talk about how much they love their baby.

Laios is named after a story about murdering your children before they can hurt you. Like an Oedipus Complex supposedly means that a son wants to have sex with his mother, a Laios Complex means a man wants to kill his sons. Kui did not pick this name and then have Laios repeatedly be uncomfortable with children, marriage and fatherhood for no reason.

Obviously Trigger didn't make any of these connections and so they didn't think it was necessary for Laios' mom to speak this line out loud, but I vehemently disagree.

This is similar to my beef with them removing Yarn Floke's only dialog in the story and removing her from the scene with the Island Governor. That moment told us that Mr. and Mrs. Floke were equal partners, and now anime watchers assume she's just his wife who doesn't do anything. That sucks.

The addition of paintings of Marcille's father in the nightmare. Woof. I really don't care for this, if they wanted to do it i would have preferred it if they'd obscured the paintings somehow so it wasn't obvious that Marcille's father wasn't an elf.

I think this makes the later reveal of her half-elf status WAY less surprising.

Also, in the manga, the complete silence around her father created a strong subtext that Marcille's mother was her only parent that mattered. They could still accomplish this but I think it won't be as shocking.

People reading the manga probably thought "her dad was an elf and he died young and that traumatized her" (this is what Laios assumes I'm sure)

People watching the anime will think "her dad was a tall-man and his natural death of old age is what traumatized her" which is true, but they aren't supposed to actually know that yet...

Overall the episode was good aside from these issues. I liked that the nightmare sequence was in black and white, and the transition to color at the end was spectacular and very impactful... But part of me wishes they had done something else to differentiate the nightmare state from the normal animation. The black and white was good, but almost too subtle because the DM palette is already so desaturated.

[zhongrin]

𒆙 ღ

part 8/8 of ⎡∞ / 𝟔 𝟎 𝟎 𝟎 ⁺⎦, a zhongli 2023 birthday event

© zhongrin | 2024  ✼  no repost・translations・plagiarism of any kind・ai data mining. rebloggers get a free cup of tea ♡

𖧷 tags ┈ selfship (zhongrin, small hint of zhongwrinth), 3rd person pov from zhongli's side, fluff, bittersweet (like almost all the other chapters are lol), slight soft yandere-ish, slight genshin's canon lore references

𖧷 a/n ┈ happy new year my dear patrons! starting off this year strong with some super indulgent selfship piece :> technically, it can be read as x fem!reader, but you'll find that it was not meant to be one. you'll find a lot of hidden selfship lores in this, and it's very very very self-indulgent and personal (which is why i don't have the usual x reader tags), so keep that in mind and be respectful, please 🙏🏻 you have been warned!

𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒻𝓊𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓊 ❬ masterlist ❭ 𐫱 𝓂𝑒𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓅 ❬ taglist ❭

𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 was an intricacy he had been continuously studying over the course of more than six thousand years and counting now.

and still, with every year that passed, he realized there were many sides of love he had not discovered nor experienced himself. things like—

how the peals of someone’s laughter could be comparable to the most melodious bird’s singing, and in its contraposition, how the saddened frown from a beloved person when he forgot an important date due to the many anniversaries which had accumulated over the past few millennia, could cut deeper than the sharpest blades forged by the most proficient masters of the blacksmiths.

how, despite the many losses and reunions he had experienced, he would still have the same nightmare that had been regularly plaguing him from a few millennia back: the vision of her bloodied shell, the rage bubbling from the deepest of his heart. how the mountains tore and the seabed shifted, the anguish as cold as the lifeless body within his hold and as silent as her unmoving crimson-stained lips, the pain hundredfold as he buried her with his own hands in some desolate place ridden by war and placed a single yellow hibiscus as a meagre offering.

how the scent of the sea used to be relatively bearable despite the reflexive scrunch of his nose, and even so, he found himself increasingly becoming averse to them - especially when the scent paired with the minty frost of snezhnaya or the chalky, wintery air of dragonspine.

how, those old times ago, his closest friends had betted on the day he would use his proficiency and skills in the advanced adepti arts to do menial tasks out of love, and though at that time, morax had scoffed and laughed right in front of their face... look at him now, gladly using the ability to maintain adeptal realms to expand his beloved’s teashop or facilitate her travels between the nations of teyvat.

𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒… such an infinitely complex and neverending, yet beautiful affair.

“happy birthday, rex lapis.”

“happy birthday, morax.”

“happy birthday, zhongli.”

“happy birthday, xiànɡ ɡonɡ!”

love tasted like a sweet kiss with a touch of fragrant osmanthus and the bitterness of coffee. love took the form of a bashful and imperfect smile in full bloom against rosy cheeks. love was the way her silken hair felt against his calloused fingers as he tied his treasured golden hair clip around the midnight-colored strands, following her 'coincidental' oversight to bring her own. love was heard in fond wishes and silent gratitudes whispered into the seas of stars, amongst the soft rolls of waves caressing the shores of the harbor of their retirement home.

perhaps his darling won’t be by his side next year. perhaps she would, in a different form than what she was now. perhaps…. he would not survive this year.

but what did it matter?

for even as calamity befell aria, sonnet, and canon, the corpse of a moon still continued its sovereignty in a fixed orbit to encircle teyvat, unchanging — and so he believed the two lovers’ fates would intertwine once again; for she was destined to be his, for he oathed to be bound to her beyond a mortal expiry;

until their souls reunited in a place not even the heavenly principles could reach,

until no more engraved rings could fit in her fingers,

until teyvat's bedrock crumbled into dust.

“the day the rite of parting is recompensed, wife of mine… i promise our 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 will be sealed eternal.”

a contract sealed in souls, befitting of his goetic namesake. this might as well be the most selfish contract he has ever sealed with his blood — yet could one still call him a devil when his victim was most willing?

𖧷 𝓂𝑒𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓅 ❬ taglist ❭ ┈ @abyssmal-skies | @hamdehlesmis | @depressivecomforts | @sunnshineflxwer | @yuutasbabe | @queen-belial | @stygianoir | @silentmoths | @niktwazny303 | @dustofthedailylife | @marina-and-the-memes | @mixed-kester | @lordbugs | @anonymousficreader | @shizunxie | @ansy-tea | @irethepotato | @sassy-cat-in-town | @syrenkitsune | @smokipoki | @cakeboxie | @crystalflygeo | @ciexuvia | @illaasya | @celestewritestoomuch | @pams-comfortzone | @spidermanluvr444 | @ourstrawberryclouds | @ryuryuryuyurboat

[lovely-oh-so-lovelyyui]

Reiji - House of Chanel

Inherently, I think this went well especially with Chanel being such a traditional fashion house but also with its very feminine undertones. In comparison to some of the others, calling Chanel Reiji’s brand was more symbolic than realistic but I’ll explain.

Chanel in all its years since 1910’s has the same iconic look, the tweed structured suits, and the armoured corset dresses with delicate but impactful embellishments. It makes sense for Reji, he has this blunt yet sophisticated personality which physically manifests in his clothes; always well put together, tailored and steamed.

His suits may change but they maintain the same composition and colour palette, to the untrained eye they don’t look different but if you look closely he pays a lot of attention to what he wears.

He’s aware even as a vampire he still has the face of an 18 year old boy, there’s still that youthfulness present in his face, he makes up for it by wearing glasses he doesn’t really need but they highlight the aristocratic cutting of his face - with his sharp upturned nose, and bright red eyes.

He doesn't have his mother’s curls or his father’s pin straight hair but rather a wavy touch to his locks, he knows how it makes him look when it’s down, younger, softer …gentle and that’s just despicable! So he carefully styles his hair with mousse slicking it back, making him look more stern.

Reiji is also a lot more sensitive ( he’s a fussy, whiny little rich brat), so he can’t stand pungent smells ( blood, guts, drugs), that doesn’t mean he makes excuses to lose his composer so he has this strong cologne that is like sandalwood and kind of fruity? Like winter berries and tea leaves or something no one expected it to smell so good but he makes it work. Not to mention his hygiene is always top tier, so he has this freshly washed cotton and minty undertone. 

So that's his main style right? So I was in between Dior and Chanel - and Chanel won of course 

Mainly I mentioned before Chanel has more feminine undertones which I think expands well with Reiji’s complex relation with his brothers; whilst the misogynistic response to his trauma is still present he almost takes on a maternal role towards his family as much of the fandom has noticed - the reasons as why he does this is quite ironic actually. In his entirety, the persona of someone being capable is important for him, if he cannot be successful in maintaining - not only his family's name and reputation through the dictatorship of his brothers - how he holds himself in public how does he expect to be King?

Yet, all the care and attention to detail he gives is almost seen as motherly. The sheer unseriousness of it is not lost on me, even with all the rampant comments on the inferiority of women within the Sakamaki Home, the most well-adjusted and competent man is seen as feminine.

In other readings of Reiji though his feminine undertones are more purposeful, they come from the fact that him and Shu are perpendicular to one another because of Shu’s immense strength being seen as this "laid back protector archetype" as intrinsically masculine so Reiji’s more mentally vulnerable, cunning, shrewd approach is seen as more feminine ;dissect that how you will. My favourite though is Reiji picking up on etiquette by copying his mother who was a figurehead for women in the vampiric society.

Also reflected in Coco Chanel who is  like, not a nice woman but she did have her moments - a cause for much scandal was her pioneering for trousers and women's athletic wear believe it or not, she was a big equestrian ( is that not the most Reiji sport ever?) and encouraged women to wear equestrian kits. 

I think this also goes really well with his character in terms of politics, the synonymous nature of being a traditionalist yet paving the way is a part of Reji. He very strongly believes in the House of Sakamaki and what it stands for but he also like his father wishes to further vampiric society from it’s barbarism; in some ways he is a cultural snob but in others he’s quite attentive to the the silver lining that maintains modernism and the old ways.

The House of Channel also does this; it has always had its roots cemented in the old ways of aristocratic luxury items, but unlike many other fashion houses it does try to adapt to the changing times sometimes successfully, others not so successfully.

On a less serious note, in general I think it suits his aesthetic as well; as I’ve mentioned the iconic Chanel suits, but also the Corsets? Like Reiji is a big corset man I don’t care what anyone says, the timeless figure of archive Chanel pieces, the monotone colour scheme of darker colours. Moreover, even the chic pieces take inspiration from old money outfits: the arranged tulle of the Victorian era, the heavy contrast, the heavy gold pieces and brooches.

In comparison to Reiji’s fashion, with his fitted suits and tiny waist with the chain of his watch fob, as well as heavy contrast colours: blacks, reds, whites and navy’s. 

Also the chunky jewellery makes sense in my head, it’s like masterfully placed so it doesn’t overwhelm him but I think the jewellery Reiji has includes: obviously the different chains for his antique watch, but also chunky rings seem more his thing than thin ones especially ones with carefully placed family jewels (rubies, emerald's, obsidians - as I said: snob) , this would do for more traditional attire too. 

His outfits in the demon world definitely include brooches, and chains and pendants to embellish his outfit, eye makeup isn’t a big thing for him because it’s so fussy but he would definitely do darker eye makeup to bring out his eyes. He’s quite theatrical, and definitely plays into the ashy white vampire skin ( this is the skin of a killer Bella).

Overall, I refuse to believe he does casual clothing- like Reiji in sweats ( esp the juicy couture ones ) is a horrendous image. So yeah Reiji is a Chanel girl!

Also I can’t believe I completely forgot this but in the beginning Coco Chanel was overlooked by the media, in terms of her designs in the beginning of career because of a little brand called Polo…owned by Ralph Lauren that was also making athletic wear but also quite good friends with Coco Chanel 

It’s almost like A certain someone who I said represented Ralph Lauren (Shu) overshadowing Chanel at first before she split off to make her own name.

[bellasmumblingsandmusings]

Act II Begins: The World of Vampires in What Could Have Been

Hello my lovelies! I have a special Musings this Thursday night, and I am hoping you will enjoy it! Basically I have spent the last year (gods has it be that long already?!) working on this story. As we enter Act II of the tale, we see that we have Sima beginning to be more and more intrigued by the world of vampires in Faerun and the power she could wield. This Musings article goes into how my world differs from that of established lore and gives a few ideas on what's to come. This is your SPOILER WARNING for the future chapters and themes behind the fic! Scroll at your own risk

-Bella After the jump!

Crafting the Shadows: Building a Vampire Society in Faerûn

When it comes to writing vampire society in the vast and storied world of Faerûn, there’s a rich tapestry of lore and traditions to draw from, particularly within Dungeons & Dragons. Sources like Van Richten’s Guide to Vampires and Curse of Strahd provide foundational insights into how vampires operate, thrive, and vie for power. However, my goal wasn’t just to replicate what already exists but to expand on it, subvert some of the established norms, and create a society that feels both authentic to D&D and uniquely my own.

Inspirations from the Lore: Setting the Stage

In classic D&D settings, vampire lords are often depicted as solitary figures of immense power, ruling over their domains with an iron grip. They are figures of terror and cunning, maintaining control through a mix of fear, manipulation, and brute force. The male dominance in these hierarchies is almost ubiquitous, with figures like Strahd von Zarovich embodying the archetype of the patriarchal vampire lord whose rule is unquestioned and whose methods are ruthless.

This traditional setup typically involves vampire lords with extensive networks of spawn, thralls, and lesser undead who enforce their will. Power dynamics are strict, with the vampire lord at the top and their subordinates expected to obey without question. In Faerûn, the presence of figures like Artor Morlin, the vampire lord of Waterdeep, underscores this model. Morlin, in his pursuit of curing vampiric weaknesses, embodies the archetypal vampire who seeks not just to dominate but to transcend the limitations of his kind—reflecting a broader desire for ultimate control and perfection within undead hierarchies.

Expanding the Lore: A New Vision for Vampire Society

While these traditional elements set a strong foundation, I was interested in exploring how a vampire society might evolve beyond these rigid structures. My vision for Faerûn’s vampires expands on the established lore by introducing more fluid and dynamic power relationships, where alliances and rivalries aren’t solely dictated by fear and domination but also by more nuanced and personal motivations.

Astarion’s Ascension: Disrupting the Status Quo

A key element of my world-building revolves around Astarion, an Ascendant Vampire Lord whose rise disrupts the traditional vampire hierarchy. In most D&D lore, ascension amongst vampires involves brutal rituals, rigid inheritance, or sheer might. Astarion’s ascent, marked by his unprecedented ability to walk in daylight, symbolizes a break from the old ways—where power was both coveted and feared, but also constrained by the inherent weaknesses of vampirism. This departure creates a ripple effect in Faerûn’s vampiric society, challenging other lords who now see Astarion as both a rival and a key to potential power.

In this reimagined society, Astarion doesn’t just seize control of Baldur’s Gate through sheer force; he blends subterfuge, alliances with the nobility, and a dual life as a socialite to maintain his grip on power. His control extends beyond the shadows, infiltrating the upper echelons of society and creating a network that mirrors the interconnected nature of Faerûn’s complex political landscape. This approach not only makes Astarion a formidable power but also showcases how vampires can adapt and thrive in a world that is evolving around them.

Subverting Tropes: Reimagining Female Vampires, Consorts, and True Vampirism

A critical aspect of my world-building involves redefining the roles of female vampires, consorts, and exploring the nature of true vampirism. In traditional lore, female vampires are often relegated to roles such as brides or consorts, which typically place them in subservient positions to male vampire lords. This portrayal extends to characters like Strahd’s brides in Curse of Strahd, who are often depicted as extensions of his will, lacking autonomy and serving primarily to enhance his narrative of control and tragic desire.

Breaking the Mold for Female Vampires: Upon researching D&D’s established vampire lore, it became clear that prominent female vampire lords are extremely rare. Besides the occasional mention, such as a vampire in an older Moonshae Isles adventure, there are few, if any, central female figures in the lore who wield power on par with the most iconic male vampire lords. This absence presents an opportunity to reimagine what a female vampire lord could be, challenging the entrenched patriarchal structures that dominate vampiric society.

In my narrative, true vampire brides are not merely subordinates but can wield powers comparable to those of vampire lords, including the ability to create their own spawn and establish independent power bases. This approach empowers female vampires, granting them the same autonomy and agency traditionally reserved for their male counterparts. It also reflects a broader ethos within my world-building: that power should not be confined by gender, and that vampire society can be more fluid and egalitarian.

Inclusivity of Gay, Non-Binary, and Male Consorts: Expanding beyond traditional gender roles, my world includes a broader spectrum of identities among vampire consorts and lords. In my vision, consorts can be of any gender, and power dynamics are not strictly tied to traditional male-female pairings. This inclusive approach allows for a richer and more diverse exploration of relationships within vampire society, reflecting the complexities and variations of identity that exist in the real world. By opening up these roles, the narrative breaks free from the constraints of the established lore, creating a more inclusive and modern interpretation of what vampire relationships can be.

Amplification of Core Traits: A unique element of my interpretation of vampirism is the amplification of one’s primary nature upon becoming a true vampire. In Astarion’s case, his ambition, dominance, obsessive love and desire for freedom are heightened, leading to his distinctive approach to rulership and power. This concept allows each vampire’s transformation to reflect their intrinsic qualities, creating a diverse and multifaceted society where no two vampires are exactly alike. This aspect not only deepens character development but also reinforces the idea that vampirism is a deeply personal change, amplifying one’s core essence to an extreme.

Astarion’s Unique Nature as a Spawn and Beyond: Astarion's time as a spawn was also distinct; unlike many spawn who become mindless extensions of their masters, Astarion retained significant aspects of his personality and humanity. This set him apart even before his ascension, suggesting that his nature as a vampire was always somewhat exceptional. This unique trait raises interesting possibilities for those he turns, potentially leading to further exploration of how his approach to creating new vampires differs from the norm. The implications of his influence extend beyond power; they reach into the very nature of identity and self-determination within the vampiric condition.

Tension and Upheaval: A Society in Flux:

The introduction of vampires who break the mold—whether through unprecedented powers like day walking or by rejecting the traditional roles assigned to them—creates tension not only among the undead but also with mortal societies. Astarion’s ability to blend into daylight and manipulate societal norms creates fear and uncertainty among the established vampire lords, who see their own vulnerabilities laid bare. They approach Astarion not just with suspicion but with a desperate curiosity, attempting to unravel the secret of his ascension while grappling with the implications of his power.

This upheaval isn’t just limited to the undead; mortal society reacts too. The Council of Four, for instance, are wary of Astarion’s growing influence and the potential shift in the balance of power. As Astarion and his allies push for more autonomy and control, mortal institutions respond with resistance, highlighting the fragile nature of the alliances that keep the peace between the living and the undead.

Building a New Vampire Ethos: Beyond Fear and Control

Ultimately, the world-building in my trilogy aims to craft a vampiric society that transcends the usual narratives of fear and brute control. Vampires in Faerûn, under Astarion’s emerging influence, are not just static beings locked in eternal power struggles—they are dynamic, capable of change, and reflective of the complexities of identity, ambition, and legacy. By embracing a broader and more inclusive vision of what it means to be a vampire lord, the story expands the traditional D&D lore, offering a glimpse into a society where power is not just held but shared, and where the old rules are rewritten to accommodate a new order.

In this evolving landscape, the undead of Faerûn are more than just predators—they are rulers, guardians, and perhaps most compellingly, beings striving for a legacy that outlasts even the immortality they’ve been cursed or blessed with. It’s a world where the lines between monster and monarch blur, and where the true challenge lies not just in seizing power but in redefining what that power means.