#OOF THE ANGST-

[instantfoxdonut]

hey- hows everyone after apology tour...-

the entire fandom after full moon & apology tour-:

OOF THE ANGST IS REAL-

[onomatapeanut]

Stranger

/strayn-jr/

noun. A person whom one does not know or with whom one is not familiar.

[bi-writes]

can we have like a pov of like what MOB would do if something did happen to simon..? luv you!

mail-order bride

your tea is cold when you pick it up to drink it. it burns you, how cold it is, and you cough a little as you set it down, grimacing as you wipe your lips.

maybe it's just one of those days. the rain is hitting a little too hard against the window. the cats have been restless. the dark one shredded your yoga mat by clawing at it under a doorway, and the orange tabby managed to knock over all of simon's plants from the windowsill (which you frantically put back inside their little pots--would plant murder be his last straw?). you left a red shirt in when you washed the whites (you apologized to all of simon's white tees), and when you noticed holes in your favorite sweats in a pattern that matched a cat's claws, you called it a day and decided to make tea (another fail).

you rub your pounding head, taking a deep breath, but you aren't given long to count down from five when your phone begins to ring.

you pick it up, not recognizing the number, but you put it to your ear as you get up to boil more water.

"hello?"

a throat clears on the other end. "do i have mrs. riley 'ere?"

you frown, leaning your hip against the kitchen counter as you turn a burner on and put the kettle over it.

"uhm...yeah. this is she," you say finally. you look at the clock; it's late, much too late. "who is this?"

"this is john. ah...captain john price, ma'am."

you clench your jaw, closing your eyes. "um...i'm sorry, i...what can i do for you? simon's not--"

"we had to call for medevac," john says lowly. "ahh...should be headin' into surgery soon. i--"

"wait--what?" you cough a little, shutting the stove off, and you're scrambling as you make your way to the bedroom. he's talking again, you realize, but you can't hear what he's saying. your eyes are moving around the room, and you frantically start to pull drawers open, grabbing a sweater, jeans, actual clothes to put on. you shed your pajamas, hopping as you slide your jeans on, and he's still talking, but you still hear nothing.

you run into the dresser, the furniture rattling, and you let the phone go, realizing you can't see because there's tears blurring your vision. you wipe them away, looking around for your purse, and when you realize what this is, an emergency--right?--you head for the bookcase in simon's study.

you toss a few books down onto the floor, your hands shaking as your fingers curl around the spine of a leather bible. you set the book down on simon's desk, flipping through the pages before you find your prized paper nestled between the pages of the book of john.

you head back to the bedroom, picking up the phone again, and you shakily dial the number that's on the back of the card. you take a seat on the bed (because where would you go anyways?), and you close your eyes as you wait for someone to pick up.

it rings for too long. you gasp a little, clutching the phone tight, and you beg for someone to pick up, please, please, please--

"'ello?"

"johnny--" you hiccup, standing up. "johnny, he...he told me--"

"wha--who--" on the other end, johnny shouts at someone to get a move on, "--bleedin' christ, who is this?"

"it's me," you whisper. "i'm...simon's--"

"ach...fuckin' hell..." there's a long, deep sigh on the other end. "oi, lass, listen, he's alright--"

"he's...b-but someone said surgery."

"right, i..." he sighs again, and you hear a door shut on the other end. "ye sit tight, luv. i'll come get ye, okay?"

you sniffle, wiping your face, "just tell me he's gonna be okay. tell me i'm worrying for nothing."

johnny chuckles a bit, and the sound soothes you just enough. "gonna be alright. lad's fuckin' dramatic, i'll tell ye tha', big brick fuckin' stepped in front of--"

"okay, johnny, please don't tell me how simon almost killed himself and get your ass over here, okay?" you snap, and johnny halts his laughing.

"right, yeah, forgive me." you hear the rattle of keys. "'m coming."

"mrs. riley?"

your head lifts up. you blink the sleep out of your eyes, rubbing them gently, and there's a petite woman in scrubs smiling at you with her mask hanging around her neck. you have two sergeants at either side of you, captain price settled leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. you have a blanket around your shoulders, and when you slip it off, johnny takes it from you gently.

"you can see him now."

you get to your feet, and when you pass simon's captain, he tips his hat at you respectfully. you hurry and follow the doctor down the hall, and when you see simon's name scribbled on a makeshift sigh on the wall, you eagerly pick up the pace until the door is opened for you.

he looks peaceful laying there. the monitors beep quietly around him, little wires and tubes falling around him, and you let out a breath when you see him blink those dark eyes awake blearily.

"tha' an angel?"

you start to cry. "you're such an asshole."

you come close to the side of the bed, taking his outstretched hand, and you clutch his big hand to your chest. you curl his hand into a fist, pressing your face against the back of his hand, kissing his knuckles there gently. he uncurls his fingers and wipes at your tears gently, shaking his head.

"gave ya a right scare, didn't i?"

"yes, you dickhead," you sniffle, and simon chuckles lowly, wincing a little as he clutches his lower stomach. you use your foot to bring the chair behind you closer, taking a seat in it as you look up at him. he turns his head to face you, giving you a pained smile, and you let out the breath you've been holding since johnny came to get you. "what's the matter with you, simon?"

"shit happens."

you try not to roll your eyes, but the anger is not lost on simon. he squeezes your hand gently, his eyes flicking up to the clock, and he grimaces when he realizes it's nearly six in the morning. you must have been here all night, waiting for him.

"is this how it's gonna be?" you ask in a whisper. when he meets your eyes again, it's more difficult this time. what you're asking isn't predictable. it isn't a straight answer. and if he gives you anything that isn't the truth, it feels like a lie, and he can't do that to you. "w-waking up in the middle of the night? hoping that the call isn't...that...hoping that--"

"not that simple," simon interrupts gently.

"well, make it simple, simon," you say firmly. even through your tears, your voice doesn't shake this time. "make it very simple for me, then."

simon purses his lips, and for the first time since you've met your husband, he hesitates. he doesn't have an answer, at least a good one.

"don't wanna lie to ya, swee'eart," simon murmurs, and you stare right back at him.

"then don't."

he sucks on his teeth, looking away, and you tug on his hand, pulling his eyes back to you.

"look at me, simon," you say, and he looks sad. he's going to tell you something that you won't want to hear. he's going to tell you something that's been the truth since he enlisted, a reality that never bothered him until he realized he had a responsibility to keep a roof over your head. there's someone waiting inside of his house. there's a place that's waiting for him on one side of the bed he shares with you. there's someone else's shoes always next to his, and someone else's name that will always be beside his own.

family.

he has a family.

"i'll try and keep ya outta here," is all simon murmurs. you smile at that. it's a promise, but he won't lie to you. always honest, your husband. he tells you things as they are. he doesn't pretend. everything with simon is the truth as he presents it, and it's eerily comforting, even if the truth isn't one that you like.

"i love you, simon," you whisper, and when you touch his face finally, the sting of the gold of your wedding is a welcome distraction.

he vows to make this the last time you see him this way. nothing is worth seeing that face of yours like this--tired, disheveled, the angry crease in your brow. you're not meant for these things. for the waiting, the crying, the worry, it's not a life he meant to give you.

for a moment, he wonders if you'd ever ask him.

will you hang it up for me? will you leave for me?

the most terrifying part, he realizes, is that he isn't sure of what his answer would be. and he isn't sure of what you would do if he told you no.

[headcanon-fodder]

a memory

[allykatsart]

The Fall of Joy

▶️Next

An idea that I pray does not happen. I stg Emily better be safe and happy these next two episodes-

Hypothetical Fallen Angel Emily! Because this angst would not leave my brain. It hurts to leave heaven, but she won't be alone. If Emily was cast from heaven, I think the hotel would welcome her with open arms...

Commission me

[askfordoodles]

My brain, choosing violence:

hey, don't think about how Emmrich watched Manfred die the same way his parents did, a large structure falling on them

and for a moment Emmrich regresses to the age he was when it happened, a scared helpless and lost little boy

That, right there, is little Emmrich, being brought right back to the worst moment of his life as a child, just look at that body language the devs chose for him in this moment.

Me, to my brain: hey can you maybe chill, Satan

(I know we don't know for certain if he actually witnessed the building collapse, but wouldn't it be fucked up if he did)

[crazymecjc]

“as long as you’re here, I’ll be alright.”

my piece for @souyoproject’s 2024 souyo bang, to go with this absolutely incredible fic by @/suspend_disbelief on ao3! Please go check it out, it’s a fantastic work and I had a blast drawing for it!

[sophsun1]

Supernatural – 2.01: In My Time of Dying

[korovaoverlook]

enjoy some angst heavily inspired by @heideez ‘s awesome fic “tell me i deserve this (i’ll believe you)” where a bunch of mindscape fords berate stan. fun times!

[cry-ptidd]

This panel hurts me btw

[marimeeko]

Just had a thought:

Jumping off off the moments where izuku tried to talk to his peers, Aoyama leaving, feeling like he failed Tenko, losing OFA, and feeling overall disconnected suddenly(at least, we can read between the lines that he is) from his peers and even from his dream...

What if this epilogue includes Izuku considering LEAVING UA? Has anyone else had the thought that he may end up there?

The logic being that once he has no Quirk, he won't fit into the Hero course. And if he represses all of these emotions like we think he is, he might take that to mean that he doesn't deserve a spot in the Hero course, and have the idea to withdraw.

Obviously this all needs to pan out BUT what if this thing with his friends almost blowing him off, just kind of adds to that negative feeling? Like makes him feel a certain way, like they're already moving on without him?

So he comes to a conclusion that maybe he should withdraw. His friends react of course as you expect they would, likely being shocked and sad, but also knowing hes going through a lot, and so trying to be supportive no matter what? They tell him "hey you dont have to, you have a place with us", but ultimately will support his decision without fighting him too hard, as the case with Aoyama seems to be...but it's REALLY KATSUKI who takes it home. Who NEEDS to take it home, and say what the others won't.

It's Katsuki who confronts him, and has to talk him down from the idea.

And what if that's how we get a Kacchan v Deku 3? Which does not have to be, and really needn't be a literal fight.

It just needs to be that long awaited airing out of all of the unspoken feelings, mainly Izukus feelings of failure (failing to protect Katsuki during the war, failing to save Tomura/Tenko, failing to even hold on to his own dream, ie OFA) and what it all means for his future.

How he thinks logically, if his quirk runs out eventually, he can't be Quirkless in the Hero class. How that dashes all hopes of staying a Pro Hero in the future...

Maybe even what he is thinking about society and pro heroism as a whole now!

Katsukis got to convince him that He is a hero, deserves to be a hero more than anyone. Maybe even concedes that even if the dream of being a hero traditionally speaking has changed, there are so many other ways he can continue making a difference.

How much of a difference he has already made.

And that is when it gets personal, and katsuki confesses further, "you've made all the difference in the world to me already" or something. Maybe spills some more sentimental feelings. Maybe Izuku finally spills some of his, maybe we get a hand hold and or an embrace....

And katsuki makes him promise that he won't give up yet. And if he has to leave the Hero course, he switch to one of the other courses in UA to continue his dream in another route. And promising to be with him every step of the way.

And maybe idk, suggesting they be Hero Partners and open an agency together or something romantic like that. Lmao.

Throw in maybe a little bit of spice somewhere about Katsuki getting worked up and Izuku having a moment of worry about his heart/health and Katsuki retorting that his heart is fine and not to derail their conversation by "worrying about my stupid heart"

Bonus points if there are tears involved, there usually are lol.

[bleue-flora]

Ok, I recently wrote an essay [here] talking about the definition and duties of civil engineering as well as the ethics because of the brain rot @swordfright gave me with calling Dream Sam’s ultimate engineering project. So, because I actually am a civil engineer I took it upon myself to design the title and summary of quantities sheets just like I do at work for roads but with Dream as the project instead. And in honor of angst day sponsored by @sixteenth-day-event, I figured I’d share it because I feel like it kinda works for the prison of the mind prompt.

“Sam’s “ultimate engineering project” he deemed too damaged like a bumpy road or crumbling building that wasn’t worthy of patching and filling in the cracks or reinforcing, that’s too eroded to be fixed and preserved. So, Sam strived to tear him down to the bedrock so he could remake, remold, and reengineer Dream according to his design for the common safety, public health and well-fair.”

{These are very similar to the actual sheets I make day to day, which I shall not share for the sake of doxing my location, but yea pretty much everything has a significance. Some of it doesn’t necessarily make sense but that was because I was more so taking inventory of what we see in lore (so you know I counted ;) lol)}

[moony-buckets]

See You Again - Goodbye, Puppet

Finally accepted that she's dead sooooo uhm take this ig?e

[noblecorgi]

WIP WEDNESDAY

Posted, as is tradition, on Thursday in Australia because I’m terrible but @rbkzz cracked the whip to post my WIP.

So, sneak peak from Ch 19 of On The Rocks:

I fumble with my phone, dialling his number with my heart in my throat.

It doesn’t even ring. Just straight to voicemail - his dulcet, resonant voice saying “You have reached Basilton Grimm-Pitch. Please leave a concise message.” His precise, RP becomes clipped and forceful on the word ‘concise’ and if I weren’t so terrified I’d laugh at the grumpy git.

Instead I immediately, stupidly, re-dial. And then again. And again. Ten more times. (I remember some probably bollocks Einstein quote about insanity being doing the same shit over and over and expecting different outcomes, and it’s not lost on me that I’m literally in the fucking nut house doing exactly that.)

@artsyunderstudy @alexalexinii @angelsfalling16 @asocialpessimist @whatevertheweather @edenalix @emjaydellyone @emeryhall @run-for-chamo-miles @roomwithanopenfire @raenestee @rimeswithpurple @thehoneyedhufflepuff @theearlgreymage @thewholelemon @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @youarenevertooold @ic3que3n @ichooseyousnowbaz @iamamythologicalcreature @ileadacharmedlife @palimpsessed @prettygoododds @philaet0s @pacey-bunce-loves-joey @stitchy-queerista @skee3000 @dani-vc @drowninginships @diamondmeadow @fiend-for-culture @facewithoutheart @hushed-chorus @hihimissamericanbi @jennandblitz @lonleyhumanbeing @letraspal @carryonsimoncarryonbaz @cutestkilla @cosmicalart @confused-bi-queer @beastmonstertitan @bookish-bogwitch @ninemagicks @nausikaaa @nightimedreamersworld @messofthejess @martsonmars @monbons

[anticidic]

Maximum heartbreak would be a BEAST AU but Chuuya works for the ADA instead, and Dazai still retains all the knowledge he has of the original world. The BEAST timeline diverges well before Dazai and Oda were supposed to meet—this time, not even Dazai and Chuuya meet.

And predictably and understandably, ADA Chuuya is hostile to him.

[trafficlightsarethenewkickass]

So I've been reading a lot of fics where Tim thinks he's just a business partner instead of a family member, and while I love those fics it's so much angstier if he does believe he's family. Maybe he has absent parents, maybe he has bad parents, but I think either way he believes in love and family as good, precious things. Things he doesn't really understand.

(This got really long and very sad.)

So Tim reasons like this: Bruce is dad-shaped, when he's not grieving. So it's okay if he hurts Tim while he's grieving, because he'll love him later. His sixteenth birthday was just a test to make sure Tim can stay safe. It was love.

When Jason breaks into the Tower, Tim doesn't think he's mad at him for stealing his job. He isn't really listening, he's thinking You're my brother? Nice to meet you. He's thinking You love through pain? I can take pain.

When Damian tries to kill him, Tim thinks he loves like Jason, and sure, Jason gave him injuries that still hurt sometimes, and Damian prefers to make him fall which has terrified him since he watched the Grayson's fall. But it's okay, it's love. He knows it's love, because they're family.

And then Bruce 'dies' and Tim finds a pattern, and he tells Dick. The brother who loved in a way that's... softer. A way that wasn't scary or painful. And Dick doesn't believe him.

But that's love, right?

Because they're family, so this disbelief must be some type of love, way of caring, connection.

And then Damian comes out as Robin, and Tim finally listens when he's called an interloper. A thief. A charity case.

And Dick wants him to be Nightwing to Dick's Batman, when years ago he told Tim Nightwing would never belong to Batman.

Disbelief isn't love, it's part of something else.

So Tim goes away, and he rescues Bruce, and Dick catches him as he falls out a WE window. And the family is mending, so they want Tim back. And Tim accepts because there's no disbelief. So the love must be back.

But Jason and Damian stop hurting him physically. And Bruce doesn't test him. And Dick barely even asks him questions now, as if stopping opportunIties to disbelieve (he's actually just overcompensating by believing literally everything Tim says, including 15-energy-drinks-by-11-am Tim).

And Tim doesn't understand, because they're family. And his family doesn't love him like this.

Cue breakdown and tearful laying-out of his evidence that they don't love him anymore. Everyone else is horrified because yes we love you, but that wasn't love please tell me you understand-