#ONCE AGAIN. in the spirit of things

[lucabyte]

fundamentally i think its fairly interesting that for the most part when working with quadrants, especially Outside of the context of characters in homestuck (and even in it but like), pity gets relegated to not actually pity and instead just *handwaves generally at the concept of romantic love* but in the sifloop/isiloop paradigm its like, hm no there is actual pity here

people loooove to read the quadrants as Romantic Love / Platonic BROTP / ????? the other one / Hatesex (nebulous concept) id argue sifloop actually fills all the quadrants perfectly as written in the comic since its

PITY (literal pity binding the two together. pity that makes you want to protect someone, be possessive, but not necessarily be nice)

PACIFICATION (which as written by hussie, is NOT platonic besties, but instead explicitly about someone being able to hold you back from being a danger to others by being an emotional outlet) ARMISTICE (okay auspicism is always the fucking goofy one. but to be fair ! they do it ! loop multiple times advises siffrin on how not to obliterate their relationships with people. presumably the same would be true in reverse. Also i think i'd count act 5 loop as "stepping in to stop siffrin being destructive in a relationship" so...? auspicism isnt always between two potential blackrom partners so...)

RIVALRY (hussie makes a point via karkat's continued rants that kismessitude falls apart when the parties just actually legitimately hate each other/dont respect each other/arent on equal footing, and thus its healthier as a rivalry that CAN include genuine hate and annoyance, but is instead more a motivator or driving force for self-improvement because ugh. i GOTTA be better than that guy)

the quadrants are frequently squarshed down to fill the roles that they were critiquing in fandom (i think like a lot of things in homestuck that aim to do this, they are both critique and a perfectly laid narrative trap) but in this scenario, oh boy oh boy if they don't work well as the other thing they were intended to be (a lense to utilise when deconstructing the narrative tools that are characters)

now as for having all of these at once/vacillating. well karkat would be mortified. all that really does is prove hussie right that the lens was arbitrary in its creation, lol. The whole point is that an interesting character relationship SHOULD include multitudes, and not just One Emotion Always Ever LMAO. and also that it's a really good jab at amatonormativity whether intended or not.

[subcultureblues]

I know we love exploring Eddie overcoming this, kind of, impulse to cowardice he has. My hashtag headcanon is that Eddie’s a runner BECAUSE he learned to be one, needed to be one. Because he grew up scared.

The experience of his mom dying left him terrified, so he ran from it. Left alone with his lackluster, fuckup dad. Just Eddie, his dad - and his dad’s temper. Eddie learned to run from that too.

He puts on his loud, scary, abrasive persona to outrun genuinely feeling hurt at being just - completely & totally rejected by society. Because it’s too massive and unbearable to actually try to face.

He ran from his grief, from his dad, from the cops, from judgmental assholes and bullies and bigots who would try to hurt him for who he is, from a mob who took one look at how different he was and decided that was enough to label him guilty - and he just ran and ran and ran.

Eddie’s a runner cause he’s always been scared.

And Wayne was safe. Wayne always tried to protect him from his dad - and then the foster system when Eddie really had no one. Wayne’s trailer gave him a place to run to.

And then there’s Steve. Bull-headed, brave, recklessly protective, valiant Steve. This fucking knight in shining armor of a man. He’s the first person who really told Eddie, really got it through his head that like

'hey... hey it's ok to be scared. That's ok. It's actually the most normal, reasonable reaction in the world. To run when you’re fucking terrified.

And that doesn’t make you a pussy. And it doesn’t make you a coward.

And there's nothing wrong with you.

And I want to make you feel safe because I love you. Because that's what people who love each other do! You deserve to be safe. And I would step between you and bullies and bigots and bloodthirsty mobs and fucking monsters from hell - To keep you safe. Until you have nothing to run from."

And just that makes Eddie feel braver, knowing there’s someone there, fighting for him. Gives him the courage to maybe stop running and fight for himself.

[iamamythologicalcreature]

2024 Round-Up and Review

2024, aka The Year I Discovered I Love Drawing Baz With Long Hair.

But also.

Honestly?

(Yeah, I'm going to be honest. Yeah, it's going to be a long post. Buuuut it's my blog, so here we go!)

This past year was rough. Really rough. In many ways as difficult as 2020, and in some ways, even harder than that. I lost my specialized medical care after 2023, and my health tanked in 2024. Medication changes, chronic illness/pain, and the hardest thing of all was... this idea I seemed to have that if I could just fake it enough, I could make it. Like I could deny my disability into non-existence. Pretend it away.

Instead, I ended up pushing myself past the breaking point, with the worst possible timing ever.

And THEN (when I desperately needed to stop and rest), I packed up my life and moved across a continent. (I hadn't moved since college. So I thought I'd move and it'd be done. That was wrong. Ahem. I'm still moving in...)

But the GOOD that happened last year came in the form of friendship. That's not just a line. My friends were my lifeline. To those friends who stuck it out with me even when things were far from easy, thank you. You are the most incredible people I know, and your friendship has given me reasons and opportunities to feel joy and hope where I might not otherwise have done.

Okay. So. The ROUND-UP is... *drum roll*... Under the cut!

At first I was a bit bummed to see I'd only finished 9 pieces of art during the entire year. But since I am being honest... I know I did my best, and so clearly the best I could do last year was nine pieces of art. So many of those pieces were attached to amazing projects, though! I got to do several collaborations with some truly amazing human beings, and I also got to run my very first fest for the fandom! So I'm calling it good.

Now, finally, the art links:

(I won't be including works in progress on this list, as I still hope to finish them at some point XD)

January: Oh my God, January. I didn't finish anything in January, but I worked on a lot.

February:

Tis better to give than to receive - This was my contribution to Erotic Grope Fest, and it was my first time doing anything NSFW. It's pretty tame, all things considered, but I think it still fit the mission. Also ended up posting a high-res version of this on AO3. Because. I mean. Come on. XD

March:

Three lost boys (found) - I started out as a beta reader for @mooncello's inspired take on Neverland, but by the time I received chapter 2 I was very nearly begging to be able to illustrate it. I'd had this particular image in my mind after reading the matching scene in chapter one, but had tried to suppress the inspiration. Silly me. I'm so glad I gave in. This is a favorite of mine.

April:

Keeping Neverland - (Technically posted on Tumblr in May, but on AO3 in April, so...) Illustrating @mooncello's writing again, and this one was a challenge! But one I wholeheartedly embraced. I wanted to echo Baz's journey as an artist with my illustrations, so where I used pencil sketching for the chapter one illustration, I went for a finished charcoal drawing, here. Digital charcoal, it turns out, can be just as difficult as the real deal. Slightly less messy, though. (I'm very proud of this finished piece.) Also where I continued my exploration of Baz's long hair. XD

May:

A rough sketch for a rough night - It feels a little off to be posting this sketch in my art round-up, considering the emotional inspiration, but truth be told I ended up liking this sketch quite a lot. I also learned a couple things, from both the events of that night (not my finest moment) and the drawing of the sketch (hey putting my feelings into art is a good idea). So I think ultimately this little sketch deserves to be included on this list.

June:

Teenage Dream - I posted this on Tumblr in June, for my birthday, but I actually did the art at the beginning of the year for the Valentine's Day exchange on the Carry On server. I rarely finish anything to this degree, and am immensely proud of it. That said, I ended up using it for so many things last year, I'd be okay to not look at it again for awhile. (I called it "Teenage Dream" because it made me think of a daydream Baz might have had as a teenager - now made real with Simon by his side. Cause I'm a sucker for their romance >.> )

Illustration from The Eternal Life of Baz Pitch - So I'm not sure how I got lucky enough to earn a special preview of @monbons's story, but I knew I couldn't read it in pieces. So she let me read the whole thing. It was very cool. I read it all at once I think? And when I was done I crashed Monica's DMs to yell at her about it. But then I drew this picture. (While I was chatting with her, even, and casually asking her about cherry blossoms so I could draw them the way she imagined them. It was very fun.) Now we're friends. XD (Check out the fic - now posted in entirety!)

July: Uh. Migraines. Just migraines. I had to pull back from the fandom a lot, and stopped participating in a lot of online activities. Boo.

August: Sketched concepts for CORB, and packed.

September: I moved over 4000 miles.

October: Everything I worked on in October ended up debuting in...

November:

Carry On Through the Ages! Okay, as stressed and sick as I was, I have no regrets about taking on COTTA. It was AMAZING. So much wonderful content! It was SO GOOD to contribute to the fandom, and to do that with history geeking? Dream come true. I also dipped into my previous area of expertise (picture manipulation) and did some cursed paintings to promote it. Mona Baz, Stormchaser Gothic, Mademoiselle Wellbelove, and Iconic Icon Simon.

A Prophesied Rivalry - Another dream come true was collaborating with @monbons for COTTA! I loved talking ideas with her, and she was so supportive when I hit road blocks, too. I love Ancient Egyptian art, and this was as much a love letter to that ancient art style as it was to my beloved Snowbaz. (I did a ridiculous amount of research to do this piece.) (And now I have Egyptian Baz and Simon in my new apartment. Extreme Bonus.)

Snow on Ice Illustration - Getting paired with @leithillustration for CORB was like winning the creative collaboration lottery. Not only did they grasp my concept from the get-go, but they've taken it in a creative and exciting direction. Also, we've become good friends, which is the very best possible outcome for a collaboration. (You should check out their story if you haven't already!)

(Snow-kitty also got very sick at the end of November, which halted a lot of my progress on some WIPs. It was scary for a bit, but I am so happy to say he has fully recovered.)

December:

Snowflake Exchange presents More Than a Footnote - I kind of love that I started the year illustrating one of @mooncello's stories, and ended it with an illustration from another! I was so excited to pull Heath's name from the proverbial hat for the exchange. I'd wanted to draw something from More Than a Footnote since the first time Heath told me about it. I completely love Dev and Niall at this point, so I hope to play with them some more in the future! (BTW Heath I think you're one of my muses hope that's okay XD)

SO. Yeah, the year was often a hard one, but a lot of good happened in spite of all the bad. The good was even more valuable for daring to happen in the midst of so much blah. (And boy howdy, did I get a lot of material to learn from.)

In 2025, I think I'm going to focus more on accepting my limits. Like, I can still work on improving my health and functionality, but I really need to try and determine when I need to stop. That has its own learning curve, but I have to start somewhere! I'm also working on vision therapy, which I'm doing on my own since I can't afford the out-of-pocket expense. Still... So far, so good. Fingers crossed!

Creatively, I think 2025 will be the year where I get to work on projects I started in 2023 and 2024, and I find that quite exciting because those are ideas I genuinely loved. I also hope to bring some other ideas I've had for a very long time to life. (Finally.) I hope, hope, hope! And hey, if I get to do more collabs? That would be awesome, too. (Carry On Through the Ages will be returning, as well!)

Thank you to these lovely people for tagging me in on this round-up, and for remembering me despite my frequent absence!

@emeryhall, @rimeswithpurple, @prettygoododds, @artsyunderstudy, @noblecorgi, @alexalexinii, @best--dress, @j-nipper-95, @roomwithanopenfire, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @imagineacoolusername, @mooncello, @whatevertheweather, @thewholelemon, @youarenevertooold, @monbons

And to everyone who is still tagging me on wipsday posts, other things, commented, any of that! Thank you. It means a lot to me. Hello's and How-Do's and general well-wishes to:

@drowninginships, @aristocratic-otter, @that-disabled-princess, @leithillustration, @bookish-bogwitch, @theimpossibledemon, @fiend-for-culture, @bazzybelle, @ic3-que3n, @blackberrysummerblog, @run-for-chamo-miles, @shrekgogurt, @confused-bi-queer, @hushed-chorus, @cutestkilla, @skeedelvee, @carryonsimoncarryonbaz, @wellbelesbian, @facewithoutheart, @ileadacharmedlife,, @raenestee, @supercutedinosaurs, @fatalfangirl, @palimpsessed, @martsonmars, @brilla-brilla-estrellita, @theearlgreymage

And anyone else who actually read my extremely long post. XD

[shuploc]

WAIT, is it true we're getting more miguel art? Don't get me wrong, I love Astarion, but my atsv fixation is coming back hard and it would just be so perfect! <33 Thanks for all the work you do!

Well, short answer is yes! It's a little silly actually, but to you guys it seems like I just randomly stopped drawing him and moved on, but I've actually been working on multiple Miguel drawings since like, October, for different zines. Those pieces will eventually get posted too, but it'll be a while, ngl.

But yes, ya'll will get a completely different Miggy thing soon, hopefully in time for Christmas! 😊 I'm SO glad you like my Astarion stuff too, thank you so much for the kind words!

[notsooldmadcatlady]

[angeldaisies]

ykw if we’re right about ajatara being an evil spirit for the purposes of herondaisy’s story then i’m so glad there’s gonna be a plot to spice things up

[ivyodessa]

Chrissy broke up with Jason a week ago, but agreed to talk when he asked.

Instead, he pulls a gun on her.

And Eddie Munson saves her life.

I know I screamed about this yesterday but if you haven't read @boltedfruit's amazing fic, do it now! There's only one chapter but it made me so insane I had to make a moodboard about it!

[teruel-a-witch]

it's the year 2024 and people are still posting anti shit and other ships in the jeff/annie tag like

GROW UP.

annie did.

[annyankers]

OKAY SO BASICALLY.

They had Riley doing his thing with the vampire girls, but... Them being vampires didn't actually add anything to the narrative? It was just a metaphor for infidelity that could have been done without making them vampires. Sure, it's dangerous, but nothing came of that danger.

But what if it did? What if one of them got too attached and Riley got turned?

Suddenly we see Buffy facing the choice of whether or not to kill someone she loves (who we've known for more than once episode), an opportunity that I feel canon WASTED by not having happen. There are also two paths to go down there. Either Riley goes full evil, becomes a villain (and more fleshed out character), and we get that conflict...

Or he doesn't. He's a soulless demon, but he still loves Buffy or values his old morals, given just how driven in they were, and doesn't want to run around killing and torturing people. Personally, I find the latter (or somewhere in between) to be more interesting. Buffy's normal life boyfriend is now yet another demon and he walked right into it on his own volition. But he also still loves her. Maybe he's even /better/ to her now, because he doesn't have a leg to stand on being bothered about her being the slayer now. Does being a demon mean that he's inherently not deserving of love the way he was as a human, even if he's not hurting anyone and is some ways behaving better than he was before, even if it's not out of the same human-style emotions and empathy? And even if she doesn't want to be with him anymore, does he deserve to die or spend the rest of his existence tormented by a soul curse? Because what Angel got was a /curse/, which I feel like a lot of stories forget in favor of making it an easy solution.

I just think it would have been a more interesting way to break them up /or/ revive their relationship in a way that could have gotten people invested in it.

this is FASCINATING.

I think literally my only issues with this as a possible Riley plotline are the usual issues related to Riley which all just stem from the writers kinda equating "normal" with "boring" and the season 4/Initiative plotline suffering from Walsh's actor wanting to leave early so it's less any issue with this idea and more pre-existing stuff.

Riley is absolutely one of those characters I see potential in that just wasn't utilized to their fullest/productively like Tara, Xander or Anya but tragically I never really have the same level of interest in trying to fix him because like... he's so boring lskdgjhsklgsd they did him so dirty by having a bunch of nerds of varying pettiness from likely the coasts write a handsome military jock from the Midwest. Like I'm from Pennsylvania and I can tell they did the most blah job of writing a Midwestern guy imaginable lol.

This is an objectively fascinating storyline and especially one for someone like Riley who'd been very anti-demon/iffy about that whole end of things. But when I try to extrapolate out what he'd look like a la vampire Willow and Xander I get either "still deeply boring" or "so unhinged about Buffy it makes Spike look normal". So I think for me at least I gotta work on a more fun version of Riley (at least for me, a guy who thinks vengeance demon Anya is a silly lil guy and loves that shit) than is currently extant and then I can better visualize how to put him in situations. Because man, this is a COMPELLING situation to put him in.

I do think it's really funny tho if they still break up and it's not even because he's a creature of the night now, it's still because he's somehow tragically mid or cringe lol.

[mabaris]

I know it’s probably just my age and I’m Too Young To Possibly Get It and You Had To Be There but I’ve always kinda rolled my eyes whenever people talk about how joss whedon was some titan of nerd media and everyone loved his work

avengers came out when I was 13 and I thought that was. all right. at the time, everyone on the internet was nostalgic for firefly, so I watched that and found it extremely underwhelming, and wasn’t interested in seeking out more of that writing. but it is inescapable huh

[weedle-testaburger]

one little pet peeve I have with media is when they don't give any weight to killing people and just go '...yes?' when people ask 'hey is it OK to kill our enemies?' as if it's not a difficult moral question

[wanderingmausoleum]

mostly-finished the dlc last night which really made me realize how many npc quests i fucked up or locked myself out of despite trying to be really careful to avoid that lmfao

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

Sonic fandom when Knuckles has an entire epiphany montage where he calls the Whipple family his home: I mean. This could mean anything. Maybe Wade and Knuckles are good friends. Maybe Knuckles is friends with them.

Sonic fandom when Maddie tells a construction worker that the damage Knuckles did was done by her "big kid" so as to not admit that she has alien anthropomorphic animal teenagers living in her house, and then follows that up by calling Knuckles by "our big red friend" to Sonic, with all of this happening after Sonic says he considers Knuckles to be his roommate: OMG Knuckles series confirmed Knuckles Wachowski CANON I cannot believe we won!! He's her kid this is his home he's Sonic's brother!! After the show he gets back to the Wachowski household and gets in sooo much trouble cause Maddie is his mom

[shouts-into-the-void]

Hey, new Yashita fanfic because I have decided writing from Mashita's POV gives me a great opportunity to wax poetic about Yashiki lol

[drengar]

As I said in an earlier post, things won't get posted until Saturday. Yesterday I got home from work and just spent some time with Berto (we got caught up on Dandadan) and tonight I've just been trying to get my computer updated so I can game and do things this weekend. But in that post, I sort mentioned wanting to make a post to give people's the heads-up on certain things.

So long story short: I have seasonal depression. This is self-diagnosed as I've just noticed the rollercoaster I seem to experience during the winter season. If I seem to distance myself, please know that it's not you, it's me. I'm trying to do better but I may slip on interacting with people. Days between replies, whether to threads or DMs may also occur because of this.

Long story is under the cut (this gets a bit personal):

So I've been struggling with my anxiety and stress for a while now. Finding out that I'm at high risk for breast and ovarian cancer has added a new level to all of that. Throw in the new doctors I had to meet with and their plans also didn't help. Like I found out I should have a certain surgery done before I'm 40...I'm turning 35 this coming May...Yeah...The good thing is that I have complete control over all of this. I can tell them to continue with the treatments they have set or to just make it so I don't have to worry about this stuff ever again.

However, besides my new medical worries, this has made my financial stress (something that I've already been dealing with) a whole lot bigger. I now have to worry about medical bills my insurance can't cover. I also have to worry about doing my part for the mortgage, HoA, and electric bill for the condo Berto and I now live in. Throw the work stress, because I am a manager and it's been a lot to handle these past few months, it's been a lot for me to handle.

Now my seasonal depression is starting to flare up and for once I'm struggling to hide it.

It's apparently clear that my mood isn't as perky as I normally try to be at work. My current fear is having that also show on dash. I don't want to make people upset or mad at me. But I also don't want my depression to get to me either and I do find that when I'm going through my dash my self-esteem when it comes to my writing or portrayals takes a nose dive. It's a vicious cycle and one I'm still trying to navigate. Because my first instinct when my depression, stress, and/or anxiety gets the best of me is to isolate. It's not healthy I know but in my mind removing myself from interactions is better because then at least others can be happy even if I'm not.

So what this all means is what I stated above: If I seem distant, I'm truly sorry and I promise it's nothing you have done, it's all me. I'm trying to rely on people I'm close to, primarily Dee and Berto. Interacting with them comes easily to me even during these moments. Others I'm just worried about making upset until I've gotten over some of my depression. It'll be the same with replying to threads and the like.

Really all I ask is for people to be patient and I promise that come March this will be over I should be back to being somewhat normal. At least not getting depressed because Mother Nature decided we won't get sun in New England for two days.

[wecanbeperfect]