#ON GOD!

[aziraphalesbookkeeper]

Mwah

omg kitthe

[theprinceandthewitch]

I am legit going to become a Joker type of super villain if people i know IRL dont leave me tf alone LMAO

[peachytotallybe]

@protofected I knew it!! I KNEW IT I KNEW IT! I WOULD LIKE TO THANK EVERYONE WHO BELIEVED IN ME, THE SELFSHIP FRIENDS, THE OBJECTUM FRIENDS, THE STRANGERS WHO SEE THIS, I KNEW I WOULD BECOME A ROBLOX CHARACTER AND DATE PEST 💖

did u kno: ur icon is actually you in 20 years

[demadogs]

this happened months ago. i cannot keep it in any longer. a while ago i went on a porn site ive never been to and it asked if i was over 18 and i misclicked and said no and it automatically sent me to google images of puppies and kittens. i still cannot get over how funny this is.

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

Love it when Rolling Stone puts out an article about the 25 most influential internet creators and I've only heard of 7 of them

[churrotowns]

the definition of aura

update: choose your fighter

[plaguedocboi]

I hate the “open floor plan” that everyone is obsessed with in houses now. I want nooks and crannies and bizarre floor plans. I don’t need to be able to see what someone is doing on the other side of the house. I want places to hide and lurk and dwell in the shadows. I am the beast who awaits in the labyrinth

[plutoarttv]

prometheus: hot take,

the greek gods: no give that back

[anoptimisticdevil]

society if women were seen as people

[cometrose]

i got too optimistic and forgot kamala harris was dealing with the combined powers of racism and misogyny

[girldraki]

[medichamcham]

i really enjoy looking through reddit threads related to death metal because the replies sound like a groupchat for cartoon villains

[johnbottoms]

wish $20 was $20 again.... it's literally $5. if ur fucking lucky

[mohabbaat]

december???? what next??? 2024?????

[pirateprincessjess]

When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.

I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.

One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.

The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?

The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”

I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.

It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.