#OMG am I actually liveblogging?

[piperamitt]

I love how "Freak and Greeks" starts with Wanda, Cosmo, and Poof gashing over redecorating the fish ball. They are such a dork family and I love them for it!

Look at these dorks! So happy to redecorate their house!

[bitter-goodbyes]

Jon getting drawn in!!!!!!

[totheidiot]

I LIED. MOST SEXUALLY CHARGED MOMENT, MOST AROUSING MOMENT IN MY LIFE IS FEASTING MY EYES UPON TERU MIKAMI IN THE JDRAMA DHAHEGEUSH it's coming outtttt

[itspileofgoodthings]

Collins an easy and DEAD stopping point thank goodness

[queenerdloser]

second letter writer just started submitting their letters to my schools. omfg. now i'm just waiting on follow-up from my third one who said she'd have time to finish in the second half of the month... fingers crossed that doesnt fall through if it does im very fucked lol.

[katyobsesses]

I've never really understood how a special interest can be disabling before but I think I do now

[storkmuffin]

The Mastication Torture Wooyoung Live

Masterclass in Korean Language Nuance,

Masculinity Edition

Liveblogging this Wooyoung Pop because I saw many iterations of the 2 sentence moment where he said he would not be doing that singer's dance challenge, edited with lighting and scary sound effects and spliced with dancing footage providing explanation and so forth. It had the Man About to Break a Bottle To Use As Weapon tone as when he was telling off that stalker that somehow had his actual phone number, so I decided to investigate, and what I got instead was something quite different.

Here goes!

We open with barefaced Wooyoung looking very angular and cute in a black hoodie. I love how he's growing into the bones of his face. He smiles and waves. Ahh the smile. He says he just got to Tokyo, has eaten and washed. It comes out like a recitation of facts.

Having watched a significant number of these now I am aware that the adoring fans really don't always have something meaningful to say, but want to talk, so end up asking Did You Eat, What Did You Eat, Did You Wash, which then the Idol (rather desperately?) ends up trying to circumvent by submitting this almost militaristic situation report on his hygiene and nutrition so he doesn't have to answer the same mind numbing questions every time he does a live broadcast.

He gets up immediately, saying, Wait, but so the Atiny aren't bored, he makes musical mouth noises as he wanders around doing whatever it is, invisible. He returns with a favorite Japanese snack. He angrily rips open the cover. Playing at being 정우역정 which is the fun punny name the 영부인 (Korean Wommys) have given him. (역정 내다 is to have an angry outburst, so they wove that into his name 정우영 by changing the last 영 into 역 to complete the pun. 영부인 are so so clever. I stan the 영부인 collective.) He says he's going to talk a bit while he eats the pudding, and then he'll go to sleep.

Pudding and castella. Ooh, all the Japanese goodies. Yummm. He visibly cheers up with the sugar intake. Someone suggests he needs milk, which he doesn't have, so he says yogurt is made of milk and it's all the same when it's mixed up in his stomach.

Wooyoung is a noisy eater. chomp chomp chomp. He says he doesn't like sweets, particularly chocolate, but he likes this sort of thing - pudding and castella. Immediately with the provocation, his fans ask if he's spilled droplets of pudding, which he denies. He asks about baseball results, which he couldn't watch because of the Fan Meeting in Japan.

He says he watched content on Insta that identified the winning baseball team per the debut year of various idol groups. He mentions Itzy and Riize and I'm so proud to know some of these names because this time last year I would've had no idea. So for his team, whatever it is, Hanhwa maybe? The chat guesses the band was 서태지와 아이들. That's a really ANCIENT band omg lol. That's pre-kpop Korean popular music.

So Wooyoung goes, That's accurate, but actually you're trying to insult me in a roundabout way (돌려까는 거 같은데...)(basically by pointing out that his team hasn't won the... whatever in decades). I'm very sorry for this mumbling about sports- I know nothing about sports on purpose. A young person on the chat goes, Who the heck are 서태지와 아이들? and he goes DON'T SAY THAT, IT IS THEM! And he interrogates the person who 'guessed' - You knew the answer didn't you! The last time his team won the whatever was in 1991 (!!!).

FYI, YG of the company YG founder, that YG, he was a member of the 아이들 of 서태지와 아이들. That's how long ago this band was active.

He keeps eating, and I'm listening to this on earbuds and it's really really grating. I must truly love Wooyoung because he is masticating right into my ears, loudly, on purpose and I'm letting it happen without reaching through the phone and through space time to smack him. I despise and I'm hypersensitive to the sounds of chewing and yet here he is doing it extra loud on purpose (Nyamm chomp chomp) and I'm still fond.

So there is chat about baseball as he munches his castella. He gets to the last bite and hollers something in Japanese. He references some sort of meme involving a toddler trying to give a massage to an adult, double fisted, while asking if it feels good. He really likes babies. That viral content of him being an adoring (and quite competent!) caretaker of little girls must be actually real. He loves babies.

He does an impression of this child a couple times as the chat tries to figure out which variety or reality show this meme and the baby are from. Woo doesn't much care which show, he only cares that it's cute.

He just keeps doing impressions of this toddler. Is there a part of his fandom that notices how Adoring Father Coded Wooyoung Jung is?

And now he's sucking the sugar off his thumb because he has no napkins or wipes. Smack smack. This is torture.

He goes off camera.

When he gets back, someone who is my orientation asks him if he went to wash his hands, apparently, because he smiles and says he didn't, and instead brought back a new snack. This is the 단짠 snacking method - follow up a sweet flavor with a savory /salty one. He asks what people what they think of an Idol who shows himself gnawing on squid legs. He's a 7th Year Idol, soon to be 8th! He can do it now because of this seniority, right? Right?

Sidebar: There are 'seemly' foods and 'unseemly' foods, which exists in any culture, so I wanted to make it clear aobut what he's eating in this video: Squid/ octopus legs are an unseemly food. You would only have these in a situation where you both somewhat intimate with the people (so, more personal friends, not so much coworkers) and in environments where you can let it all hang out (your own living room, maybe a dive bar, definitely not the office or classroom or a nice cafe or restaurant).

Wommys, because they are how they are, suggest that he eat it with beer, which he flatly refuses. "I'll get in trouble if I drink beer on a live," he says, not making eye contact.

The Handwash Atiny, my sister in manners, apparently keeps asking him about the sugar-covered fingers he must have from eating the castella . He says, "I don't wash my hands when they get sticky. I go in search for something with a different kind of stickiness." And then laughs like he obnoxious younger brother he is.

Oh now he's gnawing in earnest. gnaw gnaw gnaw

Atiny ask him about what he's wearing, and he says the pants he has on are not the same as the Fan Sign meeting, but the pants at the airport were. They ask about his hair. He says the hair looks brown because the hair dye has faded. Chew chew chew. He says he's taken off his make up. He keeps gnawing the legs, and then repeats the imitation of the baby giving an adult a back massage. Someone wanted an encore, he says. He explains "Igloo" was not rehearsed - he 'got' the choreo and put it up right away. Gnaw gnaw chew chew. He says there's going to be a concert tomorrow.

Then at 14:09 comes the now (in?)famous moment:

아 라이크 제니는 하지 않습니다. 당신은 에이티니가 아니신가요.

Death glare.

Clear and well researched explications for why he said this and what he meant are available from more knowledgeable people elsewhere.

I was very interested in how he said a very polite seeming sentence in transcript (않습니다, 아니신가요) in an effectively threatening way. Pronunciation on the 아니신가요 was off, just a touch, just a little bit stanky, to sound more like 아이싱가여? accompanied by very belligerent jaw motions. But the transcript is immaculate. All he said was he is not going to do that dance, and he wanted to know if the asker was not actually an Atiny. Nicely done. I LOVE him.

The reason he answered with such chilling finality is demonstrated later on in this same chat (not what he said, but the finality of it) - There's someone who plasters the chat with her one (unrelated) question later. This goes to show that the Lives and Fromm and various fan communications he has to do can mean that he will get potentially thousands of people at a time asking him the exact same question literally tens of thousands of times.

This way, he made it clear This is Not the Place, I Am Not The One and he also made the consequences clear: Wooyoung Will Not Consider You A Fan If You Bring This Up Ever Again. Moreover, he is in a way protecting his teammates from having to deal with being asked about doing the Like Jennie dance.

Mingi, who is also no slouch in the Let You Have It department, which is one of the things I like about him, has also said, flatly, "The issue of plagiarism, the word plagiarism, is a very sensitive one for Ateez" in response to someone using the word as a joke.

He's also imposing a Korean adult social norm, and specifically a Korean male social norm, on what I assume is his mostly international, mostly very young, mostly female audience. Korea is a high-context society, and Korean is a high context language. Lots of things are up to you to know already. If you're not sure what the context is, if you don't know what's going on, you need to approach with great caution. Tread carefully, or you will be smacked. You owe other people due consideration. You must not be an annoyance and impose your ignorance and stupidity on other people. Or you will be smacked. Men tend to be a little bit more violent, a touch harsher, about this than women, but that's just a matter fof degree and gendered communication, and it varies with age. Old ladies will straight up start shouting if you overstep and call you names.

What's interesting is the ways that Wooyoung does a marvelous thing of push-pulling at his specific fandom by using grammar and the intimacy possible with that grammar. Transcripts of the various levels of 존댓말 and 반말 that Wooyoung mixes and weaves during his Lives would be a master class in this aspect of Korean as a language.

Anyway, that moment is gone in a second, and his mood recovers immediately. Instantly. This is why it's kind of important to go back to the source for whatever it is and look at the whole thing. He says nope, and you're a dumbass for asking, smacks the questioner, then moves on right away and never mentions or talks or even thinks about them again. That context was important to me.

But.

The spectacle of watching him eat this squid snack starts to get to me. I'm watching him toss more octopus into his mouth, gnaw gnaw, rub away residue on his fingers (me and the Hygiene Atiny who watched this Live, both going GET A NAPKIN and suffering invisibly, like ghosts), combs his hair with the same sugar-octopus fingers. Gnaw gnaw chew chew.

영부인 come through with another pun. They're so smart. They accuse him of cud-chewing gum, and he shoots back, it's not cud-chewing gum, it's cud-chewing squid. (껌질겅 아니야. 오징어 질겅). Then he starts giggling, because the implication was that it was getting on the viewer's nerves, this chewing. He says, 미안하다.

Ah, the masculinity of that utterance. Not 미안해요. Not 죄송합니다. Not 미안 nor 미안해. 미안.하.다.

Then the 영부인 switch it up and make a pun by switching the 질 of 질겅 into 즐 (similar but distinctly different sound)and then making it 즐겅 (즐거워 is the correct form, and they just bent it to rhyme with 질겅 resulting in 즐겅 which is not a word, but a Wommy neologism and pun).

Wooyoung appreciates this, acknowledging with praise that the Wommy are 'a level above him' (역시 나보다 한 수 더 가는구나!) and does a little dance. He apologizes to someone named  Yeonjun, who must have some sort fo song to do with either gum chewing or feeling joyful enjoyment. He says, Yeonjun is probably in New York. "Yes I was making fun of him. He's my friend. I am teasing my own friend. What?" ("놀린거 맞아요. 제 친구 제가 놀리는데 왜요.")

I think the number of Atiny who cannot stand the chewing is getting to some sort of critical mass, because Wooyoung starts to insist that he is not drunk and he is not drinking, and asking "Do I seem drunk?" and in between all these utterances is chew chew chew chew sounds right into my ear. He says he's not red, the light is reddish, giving face that color. chew chew chew.

And that's actually valid, because we saw him drinking and he didn't get red. Asian Red, by the way, means that the person is actually allergic to alcohol and cannot digest it at all, and therefore should not drink it. Wooyoung didn't seem to get red during that Wanteez episode where they were really drinking.

Referring back to the other famous content where he looked like Smartie Smurf, he says, "This is better than blue point lighting, isn't it?"

And then! UGHHGHGH He lays a length of octopus leg sideways in his mouth and chomps down on it like an actual animal while making direct eye contact with the camera.

He knows the girls hate this aaaaaaa. I am girls. He now has squid all over his faaaaaace.

The Atiny start to run with it, since he's doing that with the squid. He starts to object. Why would I put the squid pieces in my earrings?? he hollers, looking delighted. Don't say things like that. It makes me really wanna do it. Nooooo.

He's sprinkling dried squid residue on the table by rubbing his fingertips together. He says,

난 여러분은 그거 지켜주고 싶어. 이미 깨졌을수도 모르겠지만.

I want to safeguard that for you all. Even though I guess it might already have been destroyed.

The "that" he wants to safeguard for us is our fantasy of the perfect Idol Oppa - beautiful, well mannered, wild on stage and sweet and kind irl.

The 영부인 are not having it. They suggest he shove the squid pieces up his nose. Wooyoung objects loudly again.

"I'm an Idol! I'm not some neighborhood loser!"

He's insisting on this 'Idol Identity" while in a tracksuit while chewing noisily on squid, which is the prototypical 동네 오빠 thing to do.

I am an idol! insists Wooyoung, following up that statement with chew chew chew.

The Atiny are letting it all hang out. Doesn't your jaw hurt?? they ask him. He says no, not at all, but he's really verbose about it: No, it doesn't hurt. But if you say it like that, I feel like my jaw SHOULD hurt. Uh oh? It's a little painful? Nah, it's not painful at all.

CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW

We're at 19 minutes, and I don't know if i can stand 14 more minutes of this chewing.

Wooyoung says he got the snack at 7/11, and it's 120 calories. The Atiny tell him it's probably 120 calories per piece, which then makes him read the back of the package carefully at the nutritional data. He says, "Why are you giving me a hard time? I was enjoying myself." chew chew chew chew. He changes the topic. " "It's so salty!" he cries, making the face of salty suffering. chew chew chew

He mentions that recently, he talked about Soobin on a Fromm chat, and that Subin texted him on kakaotalk immediately. 귀신같이 카톡 오더라. Unbelievable! (어이가 없어가지고).

Wooyoung is immensely pleased. He says something interesting:

맨날 여상이만 졸졸 따라다니던 애들이 갑자기 나한테 꽂혀가지고. 이 자식.

These kids that used to constantly trail after Yeosang are all suddenly fixated on me! Jackass (affectionate).

The main characteristic of Ateez members, the one thing every single one of the has in common, is competitiveness.

The Atiny now change topic, and use an old Live chestnut of telling Wooyoung that the lens looks foggy or dirty. Wooyoung scoffs.

"I know there's nothing on the lens! Do you just want to see me closer up? Eh? You think you can say that to an eighth year Idol and get me to wipe the lens? Here, lemme wipe it with a piece of squid."

Then he giggles, and comes closer to the lens. Oh he's so good at this whole Live thing. Say no, say no in a lot of words, and then do it anyway. Give the people what they want. Oh he's so handsome. So pretty, so handsome, such a pleasure to look at this face! Killer eyes in a pretty face. Love him. Enduring all the chewing noises was worth it.

Then, he claps his hands, which means he's spraying octopus particulate all over his room and his clothes. I don't even care. His lips are a shade between orange and pink. I am hypnotized by the face.

영부인/wommys are nothing if not enterprising opportunists (admiring), and since he seems to be in an accomodating mood, they go for it. They ask to be called 자기 (baby/ honey). He smacks that down too. "Greed needs to have limits" (욕심이 과하면 안돼).

The me-coded Atiny, probably the one that asked if he'd washed his hands, asks, "How long are you going to eat the squid on this Live?" and Wooyoung shoots back: "Why? Should I stop?" They ask him, passive aggressively I assume, if he's been drinking. He protests that he hasn't been drinking!! But the King of Give and Take says, I suppose the lighting in here can give that impression. As an explanatory note he adds, "They keep asking if I've been drinking!"

Me: Goddamn this boy is haaaandsommmmmme.

Wooyoung keeps insisting that the lighting in this particular room is a bit reddish. Like a butcher's shop?? someone asks. (Korean butchers use red lighting inside the shop FYI). Playfully, Wooyoung starts messing around with lights and filters. Chew chew chew is back. He finds one that he likes enough to go oooh at himself and lean back. Wommy immediately tell him it's no good. LOL They are so merciless. Wooyoung wants to look pretty, so he immediately fixes it and we go from beige to black and white to taupe and blurry before he settles on a final filter.

Annnd we're back to CHEW CHEW CHEW. Seriously. This is very 현타 (reality check) inducing. I hate the sounds of chewing. I actively want to hurt people who eat noisily around me. So what am I doing with my life right now? Why am i watching squid body parts disappear into this boy's mouth?!?

Wooyoung, sounding very put upon but also amused, tells someone, "Yes this is a couple-look I'm wearing with Maddox-Hyung!" He continues, "If I don't answer that one I feel like you're going to ask me for twenty years!" This part, when he's addressing someone he doesn't claim as a Wommy, he speaks in 존댓말 :

"답 안 해 드리면 계속 물어보시네 [redacted] 대답해 드려야지. [redacted] 그렇게 도배를 하시면 [redacted] 맞습니다."

The nuance doesn't come through in English translation no matter how I try: The question keeps getting repeated when I don't answer! I must answer. If they just plaster the chat with this question! Yes, you are correct!

When he's addressing his actual people, his 영부인, his real buddies, he drops into 반말. "매독스랑 커플룩임 한 20번 본사람?? 와 진짜 계속 보여! ... 와 장난 안치고 한 20번 물어보신거 같아!"

Does anyone else see that question being repeated 20 times?? Wow, it's just non stop! Seriously! I think they asked like, 20 times!

Possibly to push the Maddox-Couple-Look questioner off the page, the Wommys come back in force as Wooyoung chew chew chews to ask to be called 자기.

He relents. "자기! 자기!" he says, then he sucks on his fingers. OH MY GOD GET SOME GODDAMN WIPES (Storkmuffin). "Why are you like this? [Sounds of exasperation: 아유~ 진짜. 아유...그냥. 아유~]."

He's so adorable, making these ajumma sounds with his hipster face.

Wooyoung starts singing a very old Trot song, "내 나이가 어때서" I love this about him and San. They just burst into song, and the songs they burst into are such a wide range - Broadway songs, movie musicals, pansori, trot.

And now he's brushing his teeth. Great. Oh great. More mouth sounds. He talks around the toothbrush. He says, "Don't go! I'm going to go to sleep soon. Don't go!" brush brush. 가지마! shicka chiska chika chookchoochook. I'm losing my mind again omg.

He isn't short to me (because to me I'm the right size and it's everyone else who is too tall, all right??) but he's short person coded, because he folds his legs to sit cross legged on an armchair. He puts up a hood and keeps brushing his teeth. I'm seriously reconsidering every choice I've ever made in my life again. Why am I here?

He knows this because he says, "2,466 people are watching me brush my teeth. Wow. I'm successful. Wow." Me: I wasn't even in this original group, so it's going to be a lot more than that, you beautiful little shit. He keeps saying WOW, in English, as he brushes and his mouth is filling with foam.

Seriously. He is sucessful and powerful because I've been in love more than once, in a way that I thought I would die without that person, and yet I've never sat and watched any of them BRUSH THEIR FUCKING TEETH. Kpop is a fucking cult and my brain has been pureed.

He leaves the screen, mercifully.

Save me Japanese hotel painting bird, save me.

He's back, applying lip balm.

Someone wants to see HIM FLOSSING (I started getting ready to scream) and he goes, You think I'd show myself flossing? sounding appalled. Thank you, oh merciful Wooyoung. Misericordia.

In answer to a qustion, Wooyoung gives something to the girlies: No, I sleep with nothing on. I haven't brought my pajamas. I forgot.

Translation note: In Korean what he said was 다 벗고 자는데요 which literally translates with I sleep with everything taken off but in order for it to sound more natural in English you have to go in the opposite direction, and say Sleep With Nothing On. There are so many pieces like this, where our expressions are the exact opposite of what's used in English.

He's clacking his teeth together now. Why. Why did you do that?

He uses Nivea lipbalm, he reveals, before saying he's going to go now. Wooung starts faking nodding off. "Sleep well," he says. He puts up his hoodie. He announces his age and Idol rank like he's reporting to the military. He cinches the hoodie really tight over hies head, then he says, 혹시 이 선물을 풀어줄 사람이 있나? Does anyone want to unwrap this gift?

Groan horror terror - Why are you making Dad Jokes like this, soon-to-be 26- Rising-8th -Year Idol Wooyoung??

Immediately, he apologizes. Wooyoung says things to Minnaaa and i assume good night and sleep well etc in Japanese.

The unflagging Wommys ask him for kisses.

He refuses, but charmingly. (무슨 뽀뽀야! 땡!)

Korean Idols are so drilled on correct behavior expected of Idols that we make jokes about how they have this secondary Idol 'consciousness.' The thing is he has done so much in this chat that is against all of that - the noisy chewing, eating dried squid, smacking the asker of the Jennie question, brushing his teeth - that his Idol Consciousness is starting to poke at him, I think, with rather a sharp stick.

"I'm a pro Idol!" he says.

Then he does a silly little trick of using the hole punched into the top of the package of dried squid for ease of hanging and display at 7/11 to create a 'sniper perspective' of his face. I'm reminded that he likes taking photographs with expensive analog cameras. This is so fun and creative, but he also does really seem drunk.

He ends the Live with, Love you! Gonna sleep now! I have no more battery! Cut!

[tanoraqui]

Dungeon Meshi Liveblog: In Which Izutsumi is Ace and also possibly a Time Lord

I heard that troll!Marcille is shredded. I heard she has an eight-pack.

(I can't believe that wasn't just the end of the chapter. I can't believe this wasn't the end of this book. What the fuck is going to happen in the NEXT chapter?!)

.

omg, baby!Chilchuck! He once had hope in his eyes and joy in his heart!

.

I just think he and Kabru should compare notes, by which I mean gossip.

.

Laios: [explaining a new monster]

Marcille:

.

Wait that's actually dodgy as fuck. Did they say something to her while Chlchuck was briefly in the bathroom or something? Threaten her?

.

Marcille's imagine spot as Chilchuck's wife reminds me of that episode of Scrubs where each person imagines themselves married to Elliot. Amazing, no notes.

.

Marcille's so valid tbh. He clearly lied before when he said he had only 1 daughter - he could easily be lying now, for all they know.

.

....huh. Book 9 is the first book to have 6 chapters instead of 7. Story drama, or publication drama?

.

this is sitcom-tier stuff. fantastic.

.

Marcille: [dies and gets resurrected]

Marcille: :D :D :D I am going to study this! :D :D :D

(Marcille: So that nobody I love needs to ever die again. :) :) :) )

.

She is, however, distinctly avoiding this question about her age.

.

Izutsumi, confirmed for ace icon?!

.

Izutsumi confirmed for ace icon!!

.

Nooo babygirl! You have so much heart, it's just not exercised enough!

,

<3 :3 <3

Also, Izutsumi also confirmed for Time Lord, I guess! (And her human half may be ace but her cat half is thinkin' about a big, good-looking panther ;3

.

The very first image we see of Chilchuck's daughters is of a nightmare of them axe-murdered?! Geez louise.

.

I don't even care if it's a demon or a god, I just laughed aloud so hard. Impeccable transition. I think the comedic timing in this comic might be getting better as it goes on.

Shoutout to Laios for being so weird that the succubus just had to kinda guess, "uhh only properly humanoid girl in the party?" for his greatest desire, until presumably it got close enough to pick up a more detailed impression.

.

Hm. So, it's not lying...

.

...nvm, now it probably is (lying).

.

Oh yes this is a trap. A seduction.

.

/giggling with delight - Oh my god, at the previous panel I was going to make a joke about Samwise the Great, Gardener of the World, ie the temptation vision the Ring gives Sam. But I guess I don't have to, we're just going there directly. What does pure power do to you, Laios?

.

Wsdknsdvl even the Winged Lion is like, "but what about your judicial policy?" I love this comic sooo much.

.

That's 'cuz you're a man.

[socra-time]

Socra’s Naruto Liveblog, Ep. 121-130

Ep 121:

-I’d like to start my commentary by pointing out that the thumbnail for this episode was Akamaru peeing on Kiba’s face

-geez how far did the other twin go to wash his eyes out bc how did he not hear any of the screaming that was going on

-Kiba sitting and petting Akamaru in what could potentially be their last moments is making me sad:(

-Akamaru is so GODDAMN CUTE😭

-Kiba being raised in an all-female household of dog ladies is kind of a peak character detail. He truly is a boyfailure in a family of girlbosses

-anyways I want to know more about his mom and sister. I’m starved for cool female characters

-also how come Kiba’s sister gets to have three whole doggos

-I think it’s kinda hilarious how Choji’s backstory during his fight revealed his struggles being excluded and his history with Shikamaru and then meanwhile Kiba’s is just like “he’s just a dude who loves his dog”. I mean I gotta respect it (because I, too, am a dude who loves her dog), but it’s funny

-I want to see more of Kimimaro’s kekkei genkai. So far his fighting amounts to basically having two “swords” and being really good at melee combat but I know there’s gotta be more impressive-looking stuff in his arsenal

-oh well I got my wish to see more of Kimimaro’s powers. Bone powers are actually pretty cool (and also I could definitely see Orochimaru using them)

-oops I lowkey forgot about Shikamaru’s fight tbh

-I like that Kiba’s battle turned from “actual battle” to “get away and avoid being killed”. It’s a switchup from the other four battles and puts more of a focus on trickery and survival skills

-Tayuya and Shikamaru’s mid-battle banter is very amusing to me and idk why

Ep 122:

-I’m actually very curious to see how Shikamaru handles this battle considering that he is very much not an offensive fighter

-I like how Shikamaru thinks of his battles like shogi games

-my heart is too weak to handle seeing hurt Akamaru

-I will say that all the transitions between the different fights/scenes are kinda jarring, especially because some of the scenes are only a few seconds long

-oooh I like Tayuya’s second stage form

-oh Shikamaru CAN use shadow strangle jutsu. Idk why he hasn’t used it before tho, but maybe he hadn’t learned it yet?

-okay Shikamaru is officially a badass. I feel like that was too easy tho, so Tayuya still probably has something up her sleeve

Ep 123:

-Naruto respectfully your “spam shadow clones” strategy is really not working

-shoutout to Kiba for actually having survival skills (Naruto could never lmao)

-ohhhhh god Naruto finally coming face-to-face with Sasuke is making me anxious

-Sasuke’s deranged laughter is really stupid-sounding ngl

-also Sasuke stepping on a leaf was uh. Not subtle.

-LEE IS HERE OMG FUCK IT UP MY SON MY LEGEND MY GOAT

-I know Lee takes over but damn Naruto’s fight with Kimimaro was such a nothingburger of a fight. Like legit nothing happened

-Lee catching Kimimaro’s blade was badass as hell

-I love how Genma still has the needle in his mouth even when he’s in the fucking hospital

-oh my god I love Gai so fucking much hfhshsgshwhshdhdhwgdggw. His voice actor is also slaying as always

-I love how Tsunade and Gai keep saying “elixir” instead of “alcohol”. Censorship go brrrr

-LMFAO NOT LEE AND KIMIMARO PAUSING THE FIGHT SO LEE CAN TAKE HIS MEDICINE IM FUCKING WHEEZINGGGGG

-(also Kimimaro just going along with Lee’s request was incredible)

-oh my god drunk Lee is fucking hilarious. Also the whole “unhinged combat monster when drunk” thing is such a peak character detail

Ep 124:

-I bet Lee’s voice actor had so much fun doing the drunk Lee scenes

-oop Shikamaru is kinda losing his battle now

-damn Kiba is really just trucking along with multiple stomach stab wounds

-ohhhh my god drunk Lee just keeps getting funnier and funnier

-also the little story of Team Gai dealing with drunk Lee was great

-god Lee’s fights are just such a joy to watch. The fight choreo is always so snappy and fun

-I love Lee going on a mini tangent about underage drinking while being drunk off his ass

-also I love that when Lee sobers up and sees Kimimaro with his ribs sticking out he’s just like “wtf happened to you”

-damn why is this Kiba versus the twins fight turning into a horror movie

-Ukon just casually wearing Kiba’s jacket is kinda funny to me but is also just a dick move

-YOOOOO IT’S THE SAND HOMIES THEY LOOK SO BADASS

-it’s funny that all of the foreshadowing we got of the sand siblings coming was just Kiba occasionally smelling them

-also hell yeah Gaara got an outfit change!

Ep 125:

-I love that Gaara is just standing there with his arms crossed while Kimimaro attacks him

-it’s interesting seeing Lee and Gaara on the same side after Gaara almost ended Lee’s whole career as a ninja. And the fact that Lee doesn’t hold a grudge is crazy but also is very Lee

-I live for Temari roasting Shikamaru. Put him in his place queen

-YAY A KANKURO FIGHT! He’s definitely someone who I wanna see more of

-oh my god they are NOT holding back with Kankuro’s murder puppets. The Iron Maiden trap and the blood leaking out of it was INSANE

-also I wonder how strong the material Kankuro’s puppets are made of is. It looks like wood but clearly it’s stronger than that

-Temari is girlbossing so goddamn hard. Her just casually destroying the entire upper section of the forest was badass

-I feel like Temari turning around and grinning snarkily at Shikamaru when she says “pretty good, huh?” is the exact moment he starts catching feelings

Ep 126:

-Gaara and Lee are such a weird mix of personalities lol

-Gaara’s face is so deadpan while he blocks Kimimaro’s attacks

-I’m actually not sure how I feel about Gaara’s dub voice. Sometimes it fits and sometimes it really doesn’t

-basically the only word Naruto has spoken for the last couple scenes he’s been in is “SAAAAAASUKE”

-the abrupt cut from Naruto chasing Sasuke into the dark to Kimimaro’s backstory was really weird

-Kimimaro kinda deserved better, he really never had a chance at a normal life

-also WOW Gaara forced Kimimaro to activate his cursed mark SUPER quickly

-Gaara is kinda popping off in this episode

-this is so off-topic but seeing Kimimaro’s clan made me think about how I love when the clans in the show have certain identifying features like facial markings or styles of clothing. Ughhhhh I could talk about my headcanons about clan cultures forever

-WTF ZABUZA AND HAKU CAMEO????? Jesus that was so long ago but rest in peace guys

-I know I’ve said it a million times but I love Orochimaru’s theme so much, every time it comes in it’s epic as hell

-Orochimaru pleaseeeee stop indoctrinating every traumatized child you come across

-oh Kimimaro’s second stage form is uh. Interesting.

Ep 127:

-god Gaara is such a badass

-aw Gaara saved Lee:)

-okay Kimimaro using his spine as a weapon goes hard as fuck

-the Shukaku shield looks stupid

-KABUTO GET OFF MY SCREEN IM TRYING TO WATCH GAARA FIGHT

-Orochimaru is suuuuuch a cult leader

-I know it doesn’t mean anything but it was interesting to me that when Kimimaro fought the Sound 4, Jirobo and Kidomaru got knocked out but Tayuya and Sakon didn’t

-completely unrelated to anything but the color of Gaara’s eyes is very nice

-Jesus Christ that’s a lot of goddamn bones

-I really can’t say enough how much I hate the way Kabuto talks

-I do feel sad for Kimimaro. He’s definitely comparable to Haku, though Haku’s story resonated with me more

Ep 128:

-wow Sasuke both looks and sounds twice as edgy as he did before

-also given that I know that Sasuke doesn’t end up coming back with Naruto, it’s crazy to me how little time Team 7 was actually together. Maybe it’s because I’ve been bingeing the show but it feels like it’s hardly been any time at all

-damn Sasuke really is out here dissing the Konoha kids when several of them were fully willing to die for him

-I know Sasuke is a super traumatized kid and all but ughhhhh he’s pissing me off

-Naruto’s voice actor is doing a good job this episode, you can really feel the intensity of his emotion

-meanwhile I’m not sold on Sasuke’s voice actor’s performance here. Part of it is definitely the writing, but it’s definitely kinda cringey

-like half of this episode is flashbacks. I definitely think flashbacks are good to show during this climactic confrontation, but I feel like they needed to be better about picking and choosing which flashbacks to show and how long to show them for

-I didn’t realize before but it seems like the high-collared shirts Sasuke wears are an Uchiha thing?

-its very sad to me how different Sasuke’s personality probably would’ve been if his clan was still alive. He was so much happier and less reserved as a little kid 😭

-damn Sasuke was straight-up gonna burn Naruto alive

Ep 129:

-I usually don’t comment on the intros but I just gotta point out that Neji and Choji are the only Konoha kids missing from the intro. They really were trying to make viewers believe they were dead lol

-I still can’t get over how Sasuke got ALL of his mom’s genes and none of his dad’s

-also I still don’t like that Itachi doesn’t really sound any different in Sasuke’s flashbacks

-congratulations to Sasuke’s dad for being an extremely mediocre parent. Still better than Hinata’s dad tho.

-(belated shoutout to Choji’s dad for actually being a good father)

-oh shittttt there’s a mystery afoot! I wasn’t expecting to get some lore behind Itachi at this point but I’m very curious about whatever was going on with him and Shisui. Also for some reason I DO believe that he didn’t kill Shisui.

Ep 130:

-Naruto really needs to try to smack Sasuke with a rasengan or something

-yay more Sasuke/Itachi lore! I’m simultaneously very sad about it and very intrigued

-I also like that we’re getting a little lore about the Uchiha clan in general

-bruh why was little Sasuke trying to practice his fire style jutsu in the RAIN

-when Sasuke’s dad started walking away after Sasuke successfully did the fireball jutsu I was so ready to call him an asshole but he actually was pretty nice about it. I guess he gets to keep his title as a mediocre parent

-also Sasuke’s mom seems very nice

-okay Naruto time to go apeshit pls

[phantomoftheorpheum]

School Spirits Season 2 (episode 4) liveblog/thoughts

**Spoilers for School Spirits Seasons 1 and 2x01-2x04

I am so wary of Janet's motives. I get that she lost all the money so her options are limited, but this feels so icky. (I mean, also she stole Maddie's body, but this particular act of coming home to her mom seems worse, somehow. I guess because she's had time to think about it at this point).

So, am I reading this correctly and the current belief (because who knows how correct they ever are in their assumptions) is that it’s possible for the ghosts to access each other’s hellscapes, not just their own? Hm. Interesting.

"Togetherness Day" wtf.

Alright, so are they actually wrong about being able to access each other’s “scars,” or is it that they haven’t figured out how to use the keys like Janet and Mr. Martin? We know Janet and Mr. Martin can do things the others haven't figured out yet. Plus, the ghosts make a lot of wrong assumptions in the show, so I'm going to say it's pretty likely Mr. Martin just has more knowledge/skills.

I’m not sure what Mr. Andersons relevance is going to be to the season, but I am relieved to find that they have not entirely ignored the fact that he committed a felony, because I was very confused how he was just seemingly facing 0 consequences in the first 3 eps.

Simon and Xavier continue to be one of my favorite dynamics of the season! I’m still really surprised by this, but I love them!

“We lost her.” “Where’d she go?” Maddie, I think you’re ever so slightly missing the concept of “losing” someone here. But on another note, the energy difference between Simon and Maddie in this scene is fairly strange. It almost feels like they weren’t filmed together. It legitimately makes me wonder if there was a scheduling conflict here.

I don’t think they can force students to stay after hours at the school, like, legally speaking.

Wally noooo 😭 They shouldn’t have sent him to deal with that on his own, like they knew it was going to be traumatizing, someone should have been waiting for him to come out of the scar so he wasn’t alone.

I find it interesting that Wally’s scar features his coach yelling at him to get in the game, when we know that coach is the one who pulled him out and thought he needed a break. From the way the football was portrayed (and his mom), it’s clear the scars don’t reflect an exact reality, so does that mean they can change based on the ghost’s emotional relationship to what happened to them? Can they be different every time?

Rofl, that CLAY. I cannot.

Surely we're getting a Yuri/Charley romantic storyline.

Yuri has a point, they are already dead. This is the exact reason that I don’t really understand why Mr. Martin is running from them. What can they do to him that’s any worse than how things already are? That’s what makes me think there has to be something worse out there.

Why are Simon and Xavier my favorite part of this season???

I’m not sure where the Claire stuff is going, so I’m just kinda letting it play out for now.

Okay, again, why are we letting Charley face his scar without anyone waiting to be there for him when he gets out?? Ghost Squad you are letting me down on the emotional support scale today.

As expected, it seems like Mr. Martin can access their scars, even though they don't know how to get into each other's.

For the love of god, someone go with Wally! Don’t just stand there!

The Invasion of the Body Snatchers poster on Maddie’s wall took me out, rofl, omg has that always been there? I don’t remember seeing it before, but I didn’t rewatch season 1, either, so idk. It's entirely possible that I saw it and commented on it in season 1 and have just completely forgotten.

I still really don’t know how to feel about Janet. She definitely has a seemingly sympathetic backstory, and clearly her stealing Maddie’s life is not a morally pure move, but we understand why she took that opportunity. That being said, Mr. Martin being the biggest bad of the season seems anticlimactic and the show loves a twist, so I’m still very suspicious there’s going to be a big rug pull with her. I also still think she might have killed her father.

I am glad Maddie went after Wally, like about time! He needs support! Let's not let anyone go repeatedly face the trauma around their death without some support!

“They really fired him,” (Mr. Anderson). Okay, I am once more pointing out that the man committed a felony. He may have sympathetic motives, but let’s be realistic here. He stole thousands of dollars from work, falsified student grades, and destroyed evidence in a missing person’s investigation. Of course they fired him. (Also, I know she was blackmailing him, so he had a reason to be pissed at her, but does anyone else remember how sinister he was to Claire last season when he told her he couldn't remember what he said to the police?)

The way they’re playing the Mr. Anderson stuff, it’s really starting to make me think they’re gonna pull a twist villain thing with him. Because otherwise why is he getting so much screen time that makes him look so sympathetic? Since the blackmail/money situation doesn't seem to be related to the ghosts and what happened to Maddie, he doesn't feel particularly relevant as a character.

Wally talking sense! Thank you, Wally. But also, his comparison of Mr. Martin and Mr. Anderson and basically being like “Mr. Martin betraying me would be like Mr. Anderson betraying you,” feels like possible foreshadowing. Wow. It's amazing how suspicious I have become of Mr. Anderson again.

Has anybody been checking out the other movie posters on Maddie’s walls to see if they might be relevant? I haven't gone back and looked, but in this episode I noticed Pretty in Pink, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, and Janet/Maddie wears a Carrie t-shirt at the end.

Lol, that closet is in no way small enough that Xavier’s armpit needed to be in Nicole’s face.

I do love that Xavier was thinking clearly enough to determine that Simon has to maintain his access to the school or they will be cut off from Maddie, because common sense has not been particularly present from the characters this episode.

Who has been possessed? And what does that mean from the ghost standpoint? They said the only time it "felt" like this without a death was when Janet possessed Maddie, but that also meant that Maddie appeared as a ghost, so presumably they should be able to go find whoever has been displaced wandering around as a ghost and then immediately know who Mr. Martin (we're assuming this was Mr. Martin's doing) took over. Somehow, I don't think it will be that simple.

So the obvious choice for possession is Claire. She was very emotionally vulnerable throughout the episode and she feels the least relevant this season (with Simon & Xavier being a team up and Xavier & Nicole [unknowingly] talking online, and Claire being the most skeptical of the group, she just feels very outside of everything). However, I'm not sure how that would happen with Maddie and Simon sitting right there with her. I would have thought maybe it happened before Simon finds her in the stadium, but if so, then why did the lights/feeling not happen until later?

The next most obvious choice would be Chloe, but the episode practically puts a neon flashing arrow above her at the end there with her line about getting a lot out of the experience and she and the principal are the only two characters really focused on outside of the main group, but that feels so heavy handed and obvious, then.

I do wonder if Mr. Anderson was still there (we never saw him leave, did we?) and he's the one who has been possessed. It would make sense. He's also emotionally vulnerable in this episode, and with the comparison of him to Mr. Martin (and the fact that it would probably be a lot easier for Mr. Martin to pretend to be Mr. Anderson than Claire or Chloe), it feels like they're really setting something up there.

[definitelynotshouting]

hunger au is driving me insane. gobbled it up. like seriously, the whole storage scene kinda wrecked me man. the way he's lying the whole time, how he has to distance himself from banter because. he knows what mumbo does not

also. also. the way you write pearl. the way she is processing her grief over grian not only causing their destruction but also destroying himself. like, dude. cause we all know how rough double life was for Pearl. how absolutely terrible it was. and then? her oldest, closest, through thick and thin stick together no matter what friend caused that. he caused that pain.

it's 3am and I am feral

AYYYYY omg i saw your string of comments earlier and was grinning so wide over them, im so happy you like the fic!!! Its always a huge treat when someone liveblogs their fic reading to me❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

MORE IMPORTANTLY THOUGH-- YES!!! YOU GET IT!!!! YOU GET WHAT IM DOING WITH PEARL!!!!! I'm actually thrilled you understand where im going with her-- a huuuuge part of her character arc is how she's processing trauma (and also how she Isn't™) and what that means for her and her relationship with Grian. There is SO MUCH UNADDRESSED SHIT GOING ON IN HER BRAIN. Im genuinely delighted that you can look past all the sharpness, anger, and lashing out ive written her with to see its common source-- that all the unpalatable symptoms she's displaying are symptoms, of unaddressed trauma and unprocessed grief

Anyways for your troubles and bc i think you'd like this, please have my very favorite pearl paragraphs from the upcoming chapter 12:

[piperamitt]

Don't mess with the Tooth Fairy, she will punch your teeth out.

[emberfaye]

Liveblogging my thoughts on Paradise of thorns, will be posting this after I finish watching. So spoilers!

(This is the first part, i will reblog wtih a second part)

Sek is sus already, is he guilty or shy?

Ah yes, the "i had to learn to sing badly in the car" scene i vaguely remember hearing about during the promo.

The bumper sticker!!! "it's too late i'm already married"

why is only sek's name on the deed that's not very smart of thongkam =(

omg laughing and sneezing during sex is absolutely something we don't see enough of, especially in queer media (from what i've seen)

rip sek, but at least the last thing you did before dying was blow your boy, what a good husband. (I joke but also like i did not expect thongkam to bear witness to him dying, i thought he was going to find him later and both are painful)

HI MO working late/early aren'tcha? Was the truck driver throwing bits of the vegetable off because it didn't meet his standards or?

the opening scene of the mom (the leaves falling away from the ceiling to show her face) was amazing omg cinematography i love you.

oh god he didn't just instant die, it's gonna be about having to wait for procedures and legalities too, even though his HUSBAND is right there askldgjaslkdjg

"I REALLY AM HIS HUSBAND WE JUST SCREWED LOOK" *drops pants* I'm. 0.0

Oh no wonder the mother is in such a bad state after the death, the guilt is going to eat her alive. and mo. oh god. and then them not getting there on time and thongkam losing everything to them LITERALLY OH MY GOD

FRIEND OF PATIENT OH FUCK OFF

EXCUSE ME

motherfucking what????

DO THEY NOT KNOW THEY WERE MARRIED? THAT HIS IS WEDDING RING???

I'm actually kinda glad the audio is low because then i can't hear the crying as much T_T

oh there is no no no trust here. damn.

oh god no don't tell me thongkam invites them as guests oh god please don't please don't the road to hell!!! (Oh wait i think she is not trusting thongkam and is going to just. bulldoze her way in?)

so was sek trying to protect himiself or thongkam since mo and mom had never been here?

ugh I can see the way the mom relies on mo so hard. poor mo.

THEY FUCKING PLANNED THIS. maybe not intentionally but they did oh my gooooooood fuck this.

forced him out of his marriage bed and then and only then did they inform him about what the village head said

I said this when i saw the trailer, and i'm gonna say it again, but i really hope that the movie ends with the mom leaving the land to thongkam, and she just wanted to die in the same place as her son. Though with how mo and thongkam acted, i wonder how they would end up dealing with that reveal, since they turned to throwing stuff at each other / competition.

does mo not even have a bed to sleep on?

Welp. both thongkam and mom did try to have a heart to heart, but both are so hurt and don't know how to see without worry for themselves.

oh they really making decisions for the orchard no without including thongkam that is not okay.

JINGNA cutting the durians? thongkam having a party? what is going on

OH HE WAS TRYING TO ANNOY THEM. not him refusing to take them to the hospital. T_T that's gonna have consequences

locked out of the house he built? T_T what the fuck oh god he's taking all the things and door and couches??? and now he's going to get the police called on him??? WAKING UP THE MOM TO TAKE THE RING BACK??? T_T

I'm literally having my blood pressure rise this is so intense

"A PERSON LIKE YOU IS FULL OF SIN"

"IF YOU WERE BORN A NORMAL WOMAN THEN SEK PROBABLY WOULDN'T HAVE DIED"

THONGKAM HONEY I WANT YOU TO GO FULL GONE GIRL ON THEIR ASSES PLEASE

I want to make a joke about horny jail but honestly i'm too stressed and sad.

the music leading up to this is just. psychological horror. this whole film feels like that tbh. and it is, to Thongkam.

How he managed to swallow his emotions and apologize is absolutely impressive and terrifying.

his face when asked to apologize to mo T_T lmao though

villain era thongkam let's gooooooo

what a shot the inner photographer in me just sighed in appreciation

Oh my god there was only one camping spot

NOPE THERE WAS ONLY ONE MOSQUITO NET

not jingna being a cuddler or a horny gay? what the fuck?

Yeah go sleep in the car buddy. jingna really tried to shoot his shot after punching him and shit?

Mo pushing her mom around for 20 years???

Okay but lmao him getting mom a wheelchair that mo doesn't need to push means mo isn't as needed ooo....drama

mo just sitting in the shower holding the water is so relatable though. i get it.

jingna is rather useless isn't he. just vibing head empty. OH GOD

JINGNA HAS HAD A CRUSH ON THONGKAM HASN'T HE? HE'S SO JEALOUS OF SEK? WHAT??? ISS? GOING?? ON???

sek please dont' be lying challenge

WAS SEK A SUGAR BABY???

thongkam: tell me about mo

jingna: "why do i have to tell you"

IS HE GONNA SAY WHAT I THINK HE IS? OFFER TO SLEEP WITH HIM???

NOPE HE'S GONNA SAY NOTHING AND JUST USE HIS HANDS

Thongkam uses seducation, it's not very effective.

"You don't wanna know" what's up with mo???

Investigator thongkam. what is the cultural significance of the stuff on the roof?

Wait were sek and mo a thing? why else did he throw his wedding ring down?

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD SEK YOU PIECE OF SHIT

sek: a wife to take care of my mom, a husband for work and money

fucking give bis a bad name. and yes, let jingna and thongkam fuck, boy is grieving multiple things now.

two people exploited by the same family.

fucking mood thongkam. fucking mood

I AM LIVID WHAT A FUCKING TWIST WHAT A FUCKING

using thongkam to (allegedly) fund his marriage with mo????\

NO WONDER SHE DIDN'T LET HIM GET BURIED WITH THONGKAM'S WEDDING RING

[4c-aperture]

s3e1 fan event episode liveblog

work almost made me late for this and when i say i would’ve committed a FELONY—

ALANNA CAN THROW HANDS?! like not just magic but ACTUAL HANDS?!?! BITCH !!!

NOT IVONN?!?!?!

moiraine saved siuan and then they had a prolonged eye contact i am going to FUCKING combust

ohhh the shattered hall looking like the shattered ishmael seal >>>

THATS THE COLD OPEN?!?! i need to lie down omg ._.

this cunty little outfit egwene is in >>>

THE MUSCLES DRAWN ON MATT SJDJFJSJC

“You’re going to get speared” “god i hope so” YESSS MEN GET PEGGED AGENDA!!!

LANFEARRRRRRR !!!!!!

“to be honest it’s the only thing i like about you” OKAY TOXIC YURI !!!!

“i go through the arches. today” chile this season is MOVING. MY GOD TODAY.

AVILAYNE THIS EARLY?!?!?!

knight/princess dynamic iktr

EGWENE AS THE FUCKING AMYRLIN SEAT?! BITCH?!?!?!?!

“another!” okay Thor!!!

when i said “we might get an avilayne kiss before a siuanraine reunion” BITCH I WAS KIDDING?!?!

AND MORE THAN KISSING I KNOW TF THATS RIGHT!!!!

“you can at least tell me if it was good or bad” i was not expected to be as affected as i am by egwene and rand but god. GOD.

“it’s difficult to know the difference between medicine and poison with you.” “the difference is the dosage and the wisdom’s patience” 🥺🤣🥺

…well I can’t say this is what you want when multiples of your lover pop out the cut

im so enamored with rand and egwene as Partners. not as romantic partners, but as equals in battle

alright what the FUCK is a grey man. is this like evil angelic possession (bc it needs consent)?

and from the sneak peak at the end:

“violence never ends until someone says stop.” using the way of the leaf as a guide for fighting. hmm. this could go well or very VERY terribly.

[stealerofthe2ndbraincell]

ARCANE ACT 3

LIVEBLOG TIME! 🎉🎉

(Once again, more like a reaction then a live blog but sssh)

S2 Ep8: Killing Is A Cycle

Mel in the Ebenezer Scrooge chains again (I know it was Jacob Marley that was in the chains throughout but still) :(

THIS TRANSFORMATION IS SO COOL.

Would be a bit cooler if she wasn't screaming bloody murder throughout but I get it.

They really took some of the excellent bits of her design and decided to really lean into them more for this.

I kind of wish the internet hadn't fucked over the word "empath" cause that made me giggle.

We can't see the sorceress from here but is she meant to resemble the girl from Mel's backstory?

I need to stop pausing to say this immediately before it happens.

Okay so it isn't her, duly noted. I would suck in a fight against this thing.

Did it really say "yeah you're cool but you can still be stabbed, so how powerful are you actually 🙄🙄".

Calamity and Red seem to be associated strongly cause I immediately thought of Breath of the Wild.

I'm living for this backstory.

She must be so cold.

It's all coming back :((

OH SHIT VIKTOR'S IN THE ORB NOW.

God. That's terrifying. Viktor is suddenly extremely terrifying to me.

I'm surprised Ambessa isn't remotely surprised at him mentioning Jayce. He was probably missing for months at this point.

"I will evolve all those willing" so everyone? Everyone in your cult, Viktor? Because they're a literal hivemind so I doubt he'd have much problem.

VI I MISSED YOU.

YOU DID NOT HAVE TO HAVE THAT ISHA FLASHBACK OMG:((

Why does it look like a pokeball? That's so distracting lol

God Maddie is failing across the board, it's embarrassing, girl...

This argument between Cait and Vi was so deserved to be honest.

Maddie is probably hearing all of this...

I never considered Jinx would surrender.

Is Jinx not eating?

Damn what if you just punched me in the gut wow...

Her nails bleeding HURT me so much

"no amount of good deeds can undo OUR crimes" I'm so interested in the "our" from Caitlyn....

Jayce, love ya, but I am not on your side in this argument.

Although, Mel I think calling him and Viktor a "wise investment" in this moment is probably not the move either but still

I was slightly concerned that Jayce's flashbacks (? Would that be the right term for these) would stop once Viktor was "killed". Apparently not.

I'm happy for this turnabout.

I thought in Act 2 he reminded me of S1 Jinx and I'm pushing with that idea now.

Oh nevermind. He almost shot Viktor again.

I know it is very likely one of his followers and not actually Viktor, but damn that robot waist line lmao

Poor Mel probably has very little clue what's going on right now.

I'm distracted by Jayce's design tbh. The black and red colour scheme is sooo nice on his new look.

....

...Well that caught me off guard...

He STILL wants Jayce to be his partner WHAT :'(

"My partner died in this room." OUCH

MEL, MY GIRL!!! 👏👏👏👏

I want to be more enthusiastic for her, but she looks borderline in pain whenever she uses her magic so far :((

WHY ARE YOU PURPLE, JAYCE??

WAIT SO WAS VIKTOR WAITING TO SEE IF JAYCE WOULD JOIN HIM BEFORE STARTING THE EVOLUTION?

After last episode I legitimately, for a second, thought Silco was still alive.

He's not a nice person at all obviously, but in Jinx's hallucination he seems to sound harsher to her?

I did not need to see her spit that out up close.

Wait. It actively fell from her mouth where is it?

O W

I AM SO SCARED, JINX. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE GOING TO "BREAK THE CYCLE"

Is there a reason Mel needs to wear the cloak?

"You will never be a passenger". Listen , I was actually hoping for more from my Jayce and Mel interactions. Both scenes they feel very off-kilter and standoffish of each other. A lot more tense then before (for understandable reasons considering what they both just went through) that I was hoping would start to heal.... but has'nt. However, that line hit.

I am obsessed with the designs of these background characters.

Am I missing something? Who is that playing that random piano??

I feel bad. I don't recognise him.

This entire sequence hurts.

OH. Wait I think I get the inclusion of the piano man. I hope I do otherwise I've just completely forgotten a character lol

[suzie-shooter]

Alex Rider season 3 unhinged liveblog ramblings scribbled during first watch. Spoilers, obvs. (also fair warning, I am not particularly a fan of Tom or Kyra lol)

Episode 1 - Widow

S2 recap trivia - Alex's therapist is Molly Doran from Slow Horses and married to Alan Blunt IRL

Malta: Ok, so we're not just going to pretend it's Venice lol.

Creepy old men already hitting on Alex. Standard.

"After this we're out of leads." How do you even have any leads in the first place? Oh ok, Smithers' phone. Terrible security protocols from him, leaving that much historical classified data on it.

"Find the Widow - surely he could have given you an address?" First thing Tom's ever said I've agreed with lmao

Aaaand within a second he's back to being deeply irritating, okay.

Yassen living rent free in Alex's head, you love to see it.

"They've got this picture of me being the responsible one." Have Tom's parents actually met him?

Ooh Razim mention.

You maybe want to clean that wound before whacking a dressing on it Alex?

"Do you think you'll ever lose your appetite Nile?" Spat my drink.

Damn, no harem pants then. Scrubs up well tho.

Listing Levin in the opening credits than having him be only a S2 flashback should be a warcrime.

Episode 2 - Lab

"This weapon is called pork sword, wait, no, shit, wrong USB."

"Julia Rothman. Definitely a wrong un." Spat my drink again.

Do Crawley and Pritchard not warrant helmets and visors? Are they somehow immune to shrapnel?

So, room 6, wired to blow, yes? It's what I'd do…

Oh yeah sure guys, they're going to still be sitting there, all unmoving in the dark, for sure that's a person, and not a Massive Trap.

Thereeeee we go. Agent mince. Top of your class huh, well you're certainly at the top now, and down the sides and partially out of the window.

I know there's the whole 'characters don't know what genre they're in' thing but you are literally in the 'working for MI6 genre', you are up against people notorious for booby traps and blowing shit up, why the fuck would you touch something that hadn't been declared safe first? Apart from anything else you're fucking up the scene before forensics get there.

"I love you man." Vom.

Alex: breaks into super sekkrit lab. Also Alex: doesn't have the faintest fucking idea what he's looking at, so not really helpful.

COMICALLY LARGE BOMB KLAXON.

Episode 3 - Enemy

"Welcome to Malagosto." OooOOooh.

Maybe I'm just looking at it from a fic writer's perspective but it does seem a massive anticlimax to immediately let Tom and Kyra know Alex is okay? Like, you could have got a good couple of episodes of angst out of that uncertainty.

"Do you want me to kill them?" Oh God yes please.

Why the fuck have they plugged the USB directly into the network rather than an isolated PC? 'Hur dur we checked it first', you literally believe Scorpia are smart enough to not be bluffing about the nebulous death threat but you don't think they could hide something on the hardware? Fuck's sake lads. Amateur hour.

Is this Home Secretary meant to be Suella Braverman? Or Priti Patel maybe lol. (Equal rights and all that, and if it had been a white male character I don't think I would have thought twice about the dialogue but having both your two new female characters be immediately proved wrong/ massively patronised/ blown up ain't hugely comfortable viewing tbh).

HOW MANY FICS INVOLVING ALEX GETTING FUCKED ON THAT BED HAVE JUST BEEN BORN?

"Are you suggesting we break into a dead man's house?" "It's not like he's going to be there." 😂

"He became a very close friend of mine." Fnar.

Omg making Alex read his father's love letters is hilarious.

Alex: you could have faked that news report Also Alex: handwriting can definitely never be faked (how is Alex even familiar with his dead father's handwriting? wouldn't recognise mine)

Ugh please stop trying to make Alex/Kyra happen.

Alex up the vent shaft. I hope they're sitting casually at the top going - you could have just taken the stairs love.

If he's climbing upwards, why is his hair dangling like he's upside down? Have they filmed this like 60's Batman, and he's just crawling along a horizontal set lol.

Alex never once asks about his mother does he. Given the shagger-John route they seem to have gone down you almost think Julia would be in a better shout of getting Alex to switch sides by claiming to be his mother.

And - yeah, Alex's recruitment just doesn't feel that convincing here. Adding Tom/Kyra/Jack so much to the mix has changed the feel of his life a lot, and TV verse Alex has had a lot less fucking over by the Department by this point too. And Rothman feels too creepy to be effectively convincing him of anything.

"I want you to meet your tutor." FUCK YES FINALLY 🙌 (may have rewound that part several times lol)

Episode 4 - Recruit

Nicaragua: 18 years ago OH MY GOD IT'S HAPPENING

Baby Yassen is adorable, I'm in love.

OH MY GOD THAT'S SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE FUCKIN SPIDER THING

OH MY GOD THE REVEAL OF HIM STANDING OVER THE SLEEPING ALEX I'M DEAD

(Ok, I'm calm again. For now. We continue.)

"You killed my uncle" - all the hundreds of ways this conversation has been written over the years and Yassen's just like lol get over it 😂 (here for it tbh)

Rothman: He's one of our best Yassen: One of? Bitch.

Yassen watching Alex train like 👀👀

"Did he ever tell you you're no fun?" Oh you want to have FUN with Yassen do you?

Yassen bitchslapping Alex to fuck, both hilarious and hot.

Oh, you want to be WET wet.

"Matteo's the guy with the blanket." Why is that so funny.

Omg Yassen stepping in to protect his boy and humiliating Nile in the process lol. And Alex doing what Yassen tells him, because of course he does 🥰

"This one is my responsibility" 🥰🥰

"What about love, friendship?" Alex has only known Yassen five minutes and is already down bad.

"Kind of lonely though, right?" Yeah, Yassen needs you at his side Alex, so step up and stop being a whiny little bitch about killing people.

Never get in the first taxi, rule one of espionage.

Yep, called it. Tom's like: I'll have my fucking tip back in that case.

This scene is so dark I have no fucking idea what's going on, I thought Nile had attacked Alex, but apparently not. Is Nile officially part of this exercise or not, it seems really unclear lol.

The power of friendship and sparklerabbits saves the day, apparently. Yawn.

Jesus, we really ATE with this ep, huh.

Episode 5 - Revenge

"Would you rather your arms around me, or my arms around you?" Way to make it creepy Tom you skeevy fuck.

"Can we focus please?" "We're multi-tasking."

Sure Grendel, rock up to the super sekkrit spy base in a massively conspicuous car why don't you?

"Yassen will give you everything you need." Oh I BET he will.

Feels sloppy them not removing the diffuser from the vent tbh.

"What does this say?" Alex hasn't inherited John's neat handwriting then lol. Alex leaning into him like that > me making noises only dogs can hear.

"You've put lockpick?" "I left my last one in Nile."

Ooh, suicide pill, nasty. Kind've pointless though, given they've been left with the evidence anyway.

Yassen in Alex's bedroom again, likely place for him to be.

"I don't want you to fail. I don't want you to die." 🥹💕🥰

Yalex roadtrip, let's goooo.

Disappointed they're not making Alex do the Entrapment infrared acrobatic sequence here lol.

If this is Yassen's idea of a date it definitely needs work.

So no surprise scorpions then? Can't have shit in Detroit Malta.

"Why? Why did she kill him?" Well taking things at face value here he was a highly murderous member of a terrorist organisation, so you know, kind've her job.

Yassen does like a casual lean, doesn't he.

Episode 6 - Target

Alex and Yassen have shacked up in London, hope there's only one bed.

Now they're in the back of a van, SO many opportunities for shagging, they're spoilt for choice.

Yassen's impressed look when Alex reels off all the security details, so proud of his boy.

"What happened to my mum?" Finally he wonders lol.

"And I'm good at it. You could be too." 🥹

"You think Alex killed him?" I mean, he was also there with a notorious assassin, so probably not, y'know.

Domestic Yassen cooking Alex's dinner and also cooking him a gun lol.

Smithers' "How I've missed you" ahahaha. Smithers/Kyra much better pairing tbh.

"He's actually quite good at this stuff." Smithers' little snort lmao

Time for Alex to be blacked up/ dunked in a teabag bath/ gussied up. Although he still looks exactly like Alex afterwards, which feels less useful lol.

"You love him, don't you?" Yassen loves him more. I have to say Alex had far more chemistry with Syl, and frankly for that matter with Tom. I really don't get the Kyra agenda.

"It's a dry hole." Alex's worst nightmare.

Is Alex going to look through Mrs Jones' knicker drawer?

Episode 7 - The Shot

Mrs Jones and her tall murderous hobbit son lol. Otto really looks about 58 here.

Hope they bill him for her fucked up fridge.

Is that Bath? Oh, it is.

Mrs Jones casually throwing Alex back into play lol. Maybe she can have a little revenge for him trying to shoot her.

"Everyone breaks into houses." Jack's face lol

Ewww put him down, you don't know where he's been (Yassen's bed, almost certainly)

"Remember they can't hurt you unless you invite them in." "That's vampires."

Yassen arguing in favour of going to rescue Alex MY HEART

"Sit down. I'm going to tell you a story. About your friend, John Rider." HOLY PLOTHOLE TIMELINE PATCHING BATMAN

"John was embedded inside Scorpia for three years." Not the only thing he was embedded in by the sounds of it.

Alex seems to be hallucinating again lol.

Yassen, maybe psychoanalysing your insane boss isn't the safest thing to be doing?

"It's quite mad Julia." Yassen really gives no shits omfg

"I know my place." Yes, at Alex's side.

I like how Julia thought telling Yassen she'd killed John would do anything other than piss him off lol.

Episode 8 - Invisible Sword

"But you do owe me a new fridge." LOLLLLLL

Crawley feeling like a spare part during this lift convo, hahaha

"Smithers, you can do me some kind of tracker, right?" "Yeah, if you promise to keep it on you this time."

Alex is like ohshit I'm gonna die fr

"Not for the agents. They undid their seatbelts." Eyyyyyyyy 👉

Aww they've given him a little baby assassin outfit, how cute.

Where's Yassen, has he just fucked off to the pub?

"For the head of Scorpia, you're a really bad liar."

Laughing at all the other Scorpia agents having to listen to this convo about their boss like we are not paid enough for this shit 😬

"Everyone else is getting what they want, let me have my cereal."

Protecting his boy to the last. Yassen really is purely on Alex's side, we love to see it.🥰

And OMG HE LIVESSSSSSSS 🙌🙌🙌🙌 (I voted yes in that poll, I had faith lol)

Well that was - far more fanservice than I dared hope for, after the meagre pickings we got in the first two series. Yalex supremacy to the motherfucking end, let's go.