#OH other thing i didnt mention in post:
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
entirely random observation: it's more than likely influenced by the lack of comma use in tumblr tags but i've noticed lately that i don't use commas in casual type as much as i should. i feel like mostly it's obvious that there's supposed to be a comma so if you can pick up on that then it's fine, but that's funny to note. my lazy casual typing conversation skills have downgraded so much over the years (entirely influenced by that tumblr post abt how writers don't use caps and syntax in unprofessional settings bc they already spend so much time typing properly and they dgaf if they don't have to, ty random tumblr user you changed my life) but i wonder if i'm still comprehensible enough to the passing observer.
#this has only been sorta fixed by my google phone autocorrect refusing to permanently take removed autocorrect suggestions to memory#no matter how many times i delete suggested words with apostrophes they still crop up time and time again#at some point (esp when im typing fast!!) it jus becomes more work to go back and fix them#i type too fast to disable autocorrect but hhhhhhh this last yr or so#rly makes my blood boil how bad its gotten and how many corrections to entirely different words are so wrooooong#i blame generative ai for poisoning gboard's database n sadly#every fix ive tried doesnt seem to last#godddddd the next time i get a new phone its gonna be anything but a google phone#OH other thing i didnt mention in post:#i saw on here or somewhere someone didnt use a comma between a word and a person's name#and it jus struck me that 'oh yea commas are hella impt at times!!!'#but also. again#m not digging out the fancy comma to add to tumblr tags where i ramble *gestures to the above*#sadly this has influenced how i type on the internet so uhh#idk if no one can understand me then it's prolly for the better tbh#just a passing note in my head if i am as comprehensible to others as i am to myself#its probably a learned language............. thats it thats my tumblr veterans discount#being able to understand che's casual speak#hehehe
0 notes
Text
i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
99 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ok so you know this?
I havent seen anyone talk about a specific part so yeahh
TW: uhh flesha's design so some general gore talk and imagery, talk of death, skinning people and corpses
(I think this is it, if i need to tw something else please tell me)
I dont think i had seen a close up of flesha's design in such a clear light so this is my first time actually paying attention to some little details.
It just makes me hate The Solver harder.
I hate how it seems like Tessa's skin was literaly sew into Cyn's clothes. I hate how The Solver doesnt use Tessa's hands and just ripped Cyn's arm through the skin of the arm since the hand was either too small to fit the drone's or there were too many small bones to remove them properly.
I hate how i can see The Solver slowly skining this poor kid so it could use her skin for whatever it needed. Tessa was a child, a child that never got the chance to recieve a proper burial, that never got the chance to truly rest since her body was used even after her death, that had her image twisted against her will so the goals of the Solver could be met.
I hate how one of the people she most cared about when she was alive, N, won't have the last image of her be during the Mansions days, of them talking normally while entering the lab or literally anything else. It will be the image of her rotting corpse over the body of Cyn. N's last memory of two of the people he considered family with be them being something that they're not, something that was forcefully put together by the power of something he can't, maybe will never be able to truly undestand and that's horrifying.
#I think this ended up being a bit rambly#But i dotn care i jsut needed to get thid ofof my chest#Other stuff that i didnt think woudl fit the post ubt still want to mention!!#1-Tessa's hands look such a terrible purple it scares me#2- this has been a thing i noticed before ep7 came out#But Cyn's and Tessa's silhuetes are so similar#Like in ghe mansion days#They seem to have similar hair styles and the bow is a defining feature in both of them#It makes me rhign that they were always meant to be put together one day#Murder drones#murder drones flesha#Murder drones tessa#Murder drones cyn#glitch productions#Tw gore#Tw death#tw skinning#I thiiiink this is it??#Oh#Stuff#I guess
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
it is beyond infuriating how anne rice seems to insist on marius being a positive force in anyone's life ever. like she can't fully commit to exploring the fact he groomed armand and has repeatedly taken away his consent for what marius thinks is best (take the end of TVA as an example) and just kind of flatly puts it in the narrative. there's not really much interest in how these horrific events make marius come across as the worst because EVERYONE loves him. for gods sake, lestat learns from armand exactly what marius did to him in TVL and then proceeds to go find marius and be super friendly to him in the same fucking book. even armand and pandora, two of the people who have MORE than enough right to hate him, do not. it doesnt feel like shes trying to explore the toxicity of the abusive dynamic he traps them in, it just is there. and like yeah ofc the toxic vampire romance series but i think that this should be handled with more care. and it is not ever really framed in a way that she is interested in exploring how marius should easily be one of the most horrific characters in this series because it kind of feels like sa/rape/grooming/other things of that sort are just put there to further plot and not to really get the respect that they deserve in a medium.
#twist rambles#vc posting#grooming mention#for blocklist sorry im on my im really mad about this fucking series soapbox again#to be fucking honest she treats slavery similar. like its just THERE and the characters doing it dont really feel bad about it (much like m#rius doesnt seem to.. feel much if any remorse for arm.and) and it is just like... ok heres another bad thing with no examination. this isn#a super coherent post but i went a bit forward to see how b&g was handling the arm.and stuff and oh my god. oh im so mad. like i just... i#wish so badly that arma.nds abuse was taken seriously other than haha its sooo quirky that mari.us is in a position of power over him and#provides housing money sex comfort etc for him and is abusing him but hes sooo happy with himmmm. like he fucking sold him into sex slavery#and we are supposed to root for him#ask to tag#sorry this is just. its a very triggering part of the books but its something that i kind of keep returning to to mull over because it is#handled really badly. like i think she was trying to go for a lo.lita vibe (iirc she did actually mention nabok.ov as an inspiration) but#didnt really care enough to examine WHY that is an interesting take on the subject matter. not even to get into pan.doras stuff bc its just#really bad but at least he waited until she was an adult i suppose. like i will give anne one thing that she has characters and (poorly han#led) writing that makes you really think and analyze. which i think is where i enjoy media that is like... this kind of sucks at points but#u can tell the authors viewpoints soo transparently. and u can examine it thru this. like i think thats why i find the gr.ell run of GA int#resting too bc u can telll that man is a libertarian and doesnt respect women. and then claims to do so. its interesting to me. anyways#did u guys know she defended bill clin.ton when the monica stuff came out and victim blamed her. just a funny coincidence.#sorry for the really long tag rant but i am sooo fed up with how she treats this topic forever and ever. bc its been this way forever.#anyways back to reading had to get that out. lmk if u need me to tag this bc its a lot of tws :)
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
You know, I think what really bugs me about the "Dadworth" dynamic applied to Kay and Edgeworth's relationship is that it usually makes Kay out to be this hyperactive, slight problem child (in the 'stealing and pranking' sense rather than the 'moody and abrasive' sense), occasionally with deep-rooted daddy issues like Edgeworth has, when that's... the opposite of her character.
(This post got away from me, so TL;DR: Kay is a quick-witted and independent young woman who has worked very hard to be both emotionally and practically intelligent enough to be seen as a legitimate successor to her father's legacy. Making her out to be the traits mentioned above, so she functions as Edgeworth's daughter rather than his investigative partner and equal, undermines her character and semi-conflates her with Maya [the deep-rooted issues bit]. Also I don't like it wksgskaj)
The thing about Kay is that she's not actually in the series as much as it feels like she is, which makes it easy for her character to be altered to suit the needs of the story (which I think happens in The Forgotten Turnabout, but I won't talk about that here). She turns up in two cases as herself in AAI (as in, teenager Kay whom we're most familiar with) and shares her role with Gumshoe, Ema and Franziska when she does, lessening her appearances even further. Nevertheless, there are still concrete elements to her personality that we're made aware of right from the beginning, and the first major one which I feel gets overlooked in favour of her hyperactive characterisation is this:
Kay is very, very sharp.
In terms of mainline assistants, I'd consider her the sharpest of all (maybe after Trucy? But I don't remember enough of AJ to comment on that). Yes, she's shown to be reckless and impulsive, but, when it comes to actual investigating and reasoning, she is solid. With Nick and Maya, you sometimes get the impression that they're both fumbling along until Phoenix catches on (most of the time with Maya's usually a little accidental help, and he still has to explain things to her near every time [not Maya's fault. Following Phoenix's reasoning is like being on a rollercoaster in a minecart]), but Kay is very rarely like that with Edgeworth. Within minutes of meeting him, she can predict what he's going to say (or 'steal his lines', as the game puts it), and there are several moments after he uses Logic and is about to explain what he's connected where Kay interrupts with the correct conclusion herself:
Edgeworth: A second Blue Badger that shouldn't exist... Clearly, the true identity of the person underneath is...
Kay: Oh, I know! It's one of the kidnappers, right!?
There's even a point where she tells him off for overexplaining things to her:
Kay: Yeesh, I told you I got it! Do you feel the need to explain everything!?
And, near the end of their first case together, he acknowledges that's she's generally quite quick:
Kay: OK, what should I re-create first?
Edgeworth: ...You haven't figured it out yet?
Kay: Heh, maybe I have, and maybe I haven't.
Even if you don't take these points into consideration, the fact that she comes up with a new way to use Little Thief, and knows how to use it at all actually, shows you that she's a really intelligent girl! Continuing on a bit from the point I made earlier about her being brash, Kay may be reckless, but she isn't irresponsible. Whenever she rushes into situations, she doesn't expect other people to come save her; she's quite assured that she can and will get herself out of them on her own, and, if she needs help, she asks for it in advance. She treats Edgeworth less like her guardian and more like her investigative partner:
Kay: I didn't get permission to enter Allebahst... so we're going to go gather whatever info we can over on the Babahlese side, OK!?
Edgeworth: Alright, I'm counting on you two.
Kay: Right, and I'm counting on you and Ms. von Karma to sniff out clues in Allebahst!
...
Edgeworth: A number of pieces connect in a very complicated way in this case... It's almost enough to make one completely mentally exhausted.
Kay: Let's not over-complicate matters, OK, Mr. Edgeworth? We've been so focused, like a laser, on only what seems strange and out of place... it's no wonder nothing's clicked and we haven't unlocked anything yet. But, if we think things through calmly, the answer should come to us!
There's an independence to her proactiveness that kind of forces Edgeworth to meet her on equal grounds, and this too is an element that gets lost when the Dadworth dynamic comes in because it involves making Edgeworth responsible -- or feel responsible -- for her actions and general wellbeing when Kay has never expected nor wanted that. She does things on her own terms, and she walks the path she's chosen by herself:
Edgeworth: Preposterous! On what grounds do you suspect her of such a thing!?
Shih-na: The fact that she calls the Yatagarasu. That in itself is a more elegant proof.
Kay: Ms. Shih-na.
Shih-na: Yes?
Kay: I... have no intention of taking back any of what I've said.
Shih-na: ...?
Kay: I am the Great Thief Yatagarasu. And I refuse to allow some imposter to claim that name as their own! The path of justice that my father pointed me towards... I will walk it the best I can!
Her relationship with Edgeworth works as an inverse to that of Nick and Maya's in the way that, where Nick and Maya have deep respect for one another beneath layers upon layers of playful insults and messing about, Kay outwardly respects Edgeworth first (and expects that respect to be returned) and razes him second -- that, too, never to an extent she wouldn't with anyone else or that crosses a certain boundary. Her messing with Edgeworth is shown to be more an attempt to get him to lighten up or not take himself too seriously than an act of (platonic) intimacy as it is with Nick and Maya (which makes sense because Nick and Maya have spent years together, while she's known Edgeworth for all of two weeks) or genuine obliviousness/silliness (although it definitely sometimes is). This is pretty obvious simply from the fact that she always calls him 'Mr Edgeworth', though she's perfectly comfortable calling Gumshoe and Badd, people whom she is more familiar and comfortable with, 'Gummy' and 'Uncle Badd' respectively. Also Kay, in general, is quite polite? Edgeworth calls something she said rude at one point and she gets insulted, and, when you ask for her opinion, she doesn't go 'What?' or 'What is it?', she specifically says, 'Yes?' (this changes in AAI2, which I promise I'm not discussing here) Upon meeting Oldbag, she has this exchange with her, where Kay chooses a more formal mode of address than what is actually offered:
Oldbag: My name is Wendy Oldbag. But you can call me "Wendy", or "Granny", or whatever suits your fancy.
Kay: Nice to meet you, Ms. Oldbag! I'm Kay Faraday.
She's also had moments where she calls Edgeworth out for being 'tactless', and she's shown to feel very strongly about rudeness throughout the whole game. I'm not saying she isn't mischievous or playful, she very much is, but the point is that she's really quite respectful, and this extends to her relationship with him. Her characterisation in Turnabout Ablaze, where she's considerably more excitable/high-strung than in Kidnapped, seems largely due to them chasing down Calisto Yew. Edgeworth even comments on this:
Edgeworth: Kay, you need to look before you leap. You tend to lose your cool when it comes to anything related to that woman.
Generally, though, you can tell that she was obviously raised with an adherence to certain formalities. She's not looking for another parental figure (because she doesn't need one, which I'll go into after this), but, if she was, she'd make that clear.
Kay's a very straightforward person at heart; she doesn't hide any part of herself, even the part that should be hidden (i.e. the Yatagarasu). There are points where she suggests that Edgeworth reminds her of her father, but, in AAI, she specifically mentions that it's both Edgeworth and Gumshoe who remind her of her father and Detective Badd. It's not about her seeing Edgeworth as a father figure; it's about their and her own dedication to the truth. Even in AAI2, where her comments could be read as leaning more towards the former angle, she doesn't get cut up about him not picking up on that or really paying it much emphasis at all, because it doesn't matter. The fact that he reminds her of Byrne is just that: a fact.
Returning to the point about Kay not needing/wanting another parental figure, I think it's pretty self-explanatory, but to put it succinctly: Kay has the guidance she needs without him.
To put it less succinctly, Edgeworth's possibly the worst candidate to go for for emotional support and guidance in the first place, and by the time she meets him again, she's basically processed her father's passing and has a better handle on herself emotionally than Edgeworth does (not a brag; most characters have higher EQ than Edgeworth); what she wants isn't necessarily closure for Byrne's death in the emotional sense but in the I-want-answers-to-this-mystery-that-will-restore-my-family's-honour sense. You could make the argument that Kay becoming the second Yatagarasu and shaping her entire future around continuing her father's work prove that she isn't over his death, but I don't think that's true and more of a result of conflating her with Maya a bit.
With Maya, becoming the Master isn't something she chooses; it's given to her by Misty and Mia. With Kay, it's the opposite. Kay's decision to become the Yatagarasu and pursue the truth is wholly her own, and her approach to that goal reflects that. While Maya uses her cheery, upbeat attitude to conceal a lot of self-doubt and vulnerability (and Franziska does the same with her hostility), Kay does not. Her cheerfulness is precisely who she is; it's not a mask so much as it is a distraction. It keeps people from looking at her too closely and realising exactly how capable she is, and, while I don't think it's fully intentional (again, she believes in living her life in a straightforward and upfront manner), she does imply that it's sort of her (or the Yatagarasu's) MO:
Kay: Well! By the time everyone notices, it's already gone! That's the Yatagarasu way!
Interestingly enough, this unintentional tactic of using humour and cheeriness as a distraction from her abilities makes her a mirror to Calisto Yew, who also uses her seemingly always light-hearted nature as a disguise for what she's actually capable of (Calisto's joviality is her true self, too, or at least as 'true' as she can get). The difference between them is that Calisto delights in ironically mocking the world around her, whereas Kay finds joy in life itself, and she's stronger for it.
The only part where we see Kay attempt to mask her feelings is when she's a child, and even then she admits that she feels better after crying, which, I believe, led to her becoming more open with her emotions later in life (see how her older self has a teary sprite which makes pretty frequent appearances where her younger self does not). In any case, to me, this shows that she has people in her life already who are helping, and have helped, her confront and process her trauma. She's not looking to Edgeworth to help her make sense of her father's death and she definitely isn't looking for a replacement (again, literally dedicated to continuing her father's [and Badd's] legacy). Whenever Edgeworth even gets close to becoming parental with her, she dismisses it, unless she acknowledges that she is in the wrong:
Edgeworth: ...Kay, it's not good for you to stay up late, you know.
Kay: Yes, gramps!
...
Edgeworth: ...I appreciate your sense of justice, however... I would appreciate it if you wouldn't go running into the heart of any more raging fires.
Kay: Nngh... Yes, Mr. Edgeworth... I'll try...
Despite her buoyancy and bright attitude, Kay is quite firm that she be treated as an adult (she doesn't see her cheeriness as a mark of youth; it's joie de vivre, it's who she is, and that's that), and, throughout the game, she gets annoyed when people don't respect that (her arguments with Lang are largely over how he calls Little Thief a toy and her crow-girl). She holds her own and relies on herself while being unafraid of asking for help.
Anyway, this post has gone on for long enough and I think I've addressed the points I wanted to. I should mention that I realise that a lot of how many people portray/interpret their relationship is validated by AAI2 but that's honestly a discussion for a separate post HAHA I feel like, when it comes to AAI, the father/daughter interpretation can maybe be argued with regards to the way Edgeworth treats her? Honestly, though, I think he'd treat any young lady who suddenly becomes part of his team/responsibility in pretty much the same way. And, like, he drops the ball almost every time he's supposed to give "fatherly" advice because he's just not that great with it/children!! It's actually hilarious HSKSDHSK
Either way, yeah! I just think Kay is actually given a lot less credit than she's due when the Dadworth card gets played and I just! Want better for her!!
#kay faraday#miles edgeworth#ace attorney investigations#EMBARRASSINGLY long post. i want to add that this isnt an attack on anyone who likes the dadworth dynamic!!! it's semi-supported by canon#and like. it's literally fandom wskdhdk do what makes you happy. i just feel like kay gets minimised a bit when it happens (including when#it's done in game) and i just want people to realise that she's not actually like that!! she's actually so smart and rly mature???#oh i want to add that i generally like both aai games i just prefer the first one. i know some people go for a sibling dynamic between them#rather than a father daughter one (which makes sense bc... they have 10 years between them hskddhk) but im an advocate for friendship being#just as important and valid as it would be if it did mimic a family relationship even if it didnt so that doesnt do much for me either#i just think she wants to be seen as an equal to him as any of his other partners would be#oh i didnt mention this in the post but i also feel like people mix her with ema a bit in the future versions of her?#like she becomes snarky and a little sarcastic (or suave/flirty in a roundabout manner if it's a ship post) when her whole thing is being#direct. she tells shih na to her face that 'those sunglasses dont do anything for her so she'll steal them next time' she's great#the snarky sarcasm thing is again ema. not maya or her but ema. and franziska#ok i need to shut up now im done thank u <3#annotations
165 notes
·
View notes
Note
you’ve got me incredibly curious now how does one accidentally pierce their ear in a food court???
So I had my ears pierced as a baby but then went YEARS without wearing any earrings cause I thought they were too "girly."
Then one day I went to Hot Topic [as all 13 year olds do] and decided to buy some more "masculine" looking 'earrings' like these:
Wow so masc! [Being a 13 year old is funny.]
Anyways, I was completely unaware that sometimes ear piercings heal after years of no use and that these fake plugs are actually bigger than your average earring gauge.
So imagine my surprise when I stuck one of these into my earlobe, heard a *POP* sound, and then realized my ear was bleeding and I'd accidentally re-pierced it. 😀
#[13 year olds do not make the brightest decisions]#oh and this all happened in the food court cause i was too impatient to wait until i was home#worked out eventually! i didnt use blunt force trauma for the other earlobe and eventually embraced that i sometimes liked girly things :)#even got a whole extra set of peircings!#tho as mentioned in my post i did accidentally rip my food court piercing one day... luckily its only noticeable if i wear heavy earrings#also wow sorry ive rambled!! this isnt even a very interesting story but it all came rushing back to me lol#asks#long post
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
damn it feels so good to actually have friends who i feel safe around. like to have friends who im not worried that if they find out that i like "cringe" things they wont judge me. woah!!
@angry-avaocardo @silly1xxx @gollyimsosoevil
#appreciation post for my besties✨✨#also the tags got reallylong and rambly just me complainign about the ex friend and a quick update so feell free not to read them if you#dont wanna#theres nothing of substance in there lol#ugh god my old friend the one i made the really long post about asking for advice#i probably mentioned this but i never felt safe to talk about things i like with them#oh god i would never be able to show them defrag#and i probably wouldnt even be willing to ramble about like. the arg or smth to them#id be too worried of them making fun of me#but also they had a way of making it so i hung out with them the most even tho i didnt want to#“me and friend are going to the canteen you two wanna come?”#“[with none of my input] no me and Charlie are staying here”#the only person i felt safe talking about my interests to was a friend that i made when trying to move away frrom the toxic one#a friend who they would consistently ask if i was replacing them with and was so fucking jealous of him#in fact that friend is gollyimsoevil yea that guy#hes great he likes gay addison shit so yk bestie#also they were so good at guilt tripping that now i use their guilt tripping tactics on myself to try and get myself to do things lol#and they would make fun of me so often but GOD FORBID I MAKE FUN OF THEM#they were making fun of me to another person a few /years/ ago so i made some snarky comment about them#because i was really upset by them making fun of me#and they brought it up to me like 2 months ago before we cut them off#like dude you mock and make fun of everything i do so much that ive just stopped talking and completely zoned out whenever im around you#and youre holding some snarky remark that i made when we were like 11 /because you were making fun of me/#UGH#oh ye update on that if anyone cares it went fine they seem to have moved on and are just hanging out with different people now#they havent made any attempt to contact any of us but also havent cut us off#i havent cut them off either ive just left it#i catch them giving me and the other two friends who used to be friends with them dirty looks#but i kinda just ignore it#i have like 5 friends my age who are much much much nicer than them
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
i feel like a part of my soul has been ripped from my chest and i dont know why.
#is this a bad time to mention i dont even believe in souls?#i really dk why.#no this isnt abt jiro somehow apparently having a loving family#(ok like. at least 1/4 of it is BUT STILL. NOT THE POINT)#(part of me feels awkward abt it bc just. huh? youre telling me. this guy. that i basically am the irl version of. has a loving family???)#(/j and all but just. idk part of me feels awkward now? it just. a guy who blew himself up for most of the same ideals i have)#(gets to have the one thing i yearn so very hard for. everyday of my life. but can never have.)#(ill get over this in like. 2 hours. hopefully. most of thats just shock anyways.)#just. for the past some days. besides a couple things and people. hurt and love havent really. made me feel much of anything#like being cared for by actual ppl even online. yeah. it still does but#even my fantasies don’t entertain me anymore#oh god am i becoming lopt. save me fuck#UNLESS this means i get mason as my bf. then hell fucking yeah (kidding kidding kIDDINGG i dont wanna be lopt. please.)#but srsly. usually i can envoke some sorta reaction from myself if its brutal enough#but. nothing.#id assume that im over doing it usually. but i havent in a good while#maybe this is some what where my art/writers block is coming from#whatever this hell is.#time to go on a spiral of mildly depressing and somewhat cryptic posts (cryptic if i didnt info dump in the tags that is)#why is it so hard to confront issues when you dont even know what the issue is?#i just. wanna be able to make myself feel something.#not in a “i have no one but myself” way for once. just. i dont wanna have to rely on others for my emotions#i want to feel a pang of hurt. yet it feels so empty. i dont want to harm myself. i just want to feel it.#anyways ig.#ig im gonna just sleep#which tbh im growing to hate bc like. i feel all i do is sleep. i sleep to avoid how much my own body hurts. i sleep to ignore my issues#i sleep to ignore the fact i keep forgetting to respond to people even though ik i have to at some point. i sleep to avoid the dread of not#getting anything done. i sleep just because im bored.#and im tired of sleeping.#but. it feels worse awake. my body hurts. my mind hurts. it all just hurts.
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
the new sims 4 feature where they have a button to give a certain item to every outfit/certain outfits is such a fucking lifesaver dude do you KNOW how much ive had to repeat makeup and accessories on sims over and over manually lol
#i like to give every sim blush. not as makeup necessarily but to give more dimension to their faces#so even if a character didnt have any other makeup id still do that and. oh my gosh dude#not to mention things like earrings or rings#its just really good i just wanted to express that#my post#ALSO since im making my WoW characters in the sims i downloaded a cc that has canon WoW species eyes#but its under facepaint and not the eye colors. so that also had to be applied manually :']#like this update hit literally halfway through me making this household
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
lgbt lit was funny as hell we spent the first 20 finishing up our fun home discussion and the rest of the time discussing slurs
#also its so funny being who i am because i look like A Vaguely Quiet and Polite Girl Nerd but um. am not all those things.#and. like i cant remember how we got on the topic but my prof mentioned how when we were reading giovannis room he made some comment on#davids body count where he claimed he had only slept with joey prior meeting giovanni and me + one other person were like uh no he didnt#(and acknowledging that he was being a little liar in these moments was integral to my reading/interpretation but i digress)#and i objected with. he was like i was so shocked because you went out right 'when he was sucking dick in an alleyway' and youre a--#then he like straight up referred to me as a 'young lady' LMFAOOO sure. but its like oh hm yeah i can see how that would be unexpected.#then we got onto the topic of tumblr. as we often do as queer 18-20~ somethings. and i mentioned i had one and he was like. ren D:#i know buddy. if the sucking dick comment shocked you you would keel over reading some of the other stuff i post about here.
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
HI TUMBLR late footnote posting before i go to bed (i took a nap today........ ate up most of my time)
not a lot to talk about with footnotes today since i was Busy and my brain wasnt working pfndkmlfd i blame seven hours of modded oneblock
#haunted ecosystem#haunted bookshelf#i might make a tag for these footnote posts? i think its a fun way to document what ive written about without sharing All of it#also yes thats a random crack au that i've have in the back of my head for a bit what about it#i dont think its canon in the slightest its just a funny little thing in my head for writing random bs#honestly i might start trying to work on more wtds stuff. this is kind of a perfect excuse#also! i think how i might work this is that if i work on a larger project during the day then i'll just do the daily prompt#since its a good exercise and an excuse to keep some kind of writing streak going#i actually asked one of my partners for a prompt since i was struggling to find an interesting one#ended up with 'last man standing' for spoke... very fitting tbh#i might write a more canon take for that. the concept i wrote down was much more set in an au than anything since i was also thinking#about asomatous zam at the same time so i kind of just incorparated both of them into it with it being paracosm-era#OH did i ever mention that i have a general title plan for the other parts of that kind of. world#its very set in stone that if i do write more it'll be two more parts#metamorphosis (5 part) and paracosm (1 part with multiple scenes. functionally 3 part maybe?)#asomatous goes in the middle of that. i need to kind of plan all of them out better and see how it wants to flow#metamorphosis was started as a concept because i had a few bad things happen bingo prompts i wanted to be used for asomatous#but didnt end up using. so metamorphosis is my excuse for that. paracosm is just a Concept thats been really plaguing me basically since i#originally wrote asomatous... i should probably come up with a temporary series title. i think something about shattering skies?#its a reoccurring theme and symbol throughout all of them....... i just think its neat#ANYWAYS goodnight to you especially if you actually read through all my tags :)
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
it was so not the point of mash and would have been jarring tbh but like rn i'm wishing father mulcahy had actually talked about religion in more than just little quips. girl what are your thoughts and what things do you like to focus on. btw
#thinking abiut this rn because i was wondering if theres any particular saints he likes but i think it was kicked off by when i was thinkin#g earlier today about. well i was thinking about heroes again. specifically about the men he grew up around and didnt want to be like and t#he places he looked to for the kind of man he did want to be (reading plato; what he saw of gentleman joe cavanaugh)#and i was thinking about the ways he differed from the other kids (who bullied him) and the kind of kid his dad wanted him to be (to me the#subtext in emphasising how much he used to sit inside reading directly before talking about going to the match with his dad is that his dad#kind of dragged him along and wanted him to be into boxing instead)#and so i was thinking about all that and in listing the plato thing and the boxing match thing. i thought about jesus and how like the chr#istian bible descibes him as gentle and kind and patient and whatnot. and how he fits into that list and like obviously one assumes he is a#role model for mulcahy. lol. but the show doesnt really go there bc thats just not the tone its not what the show is#(not complaining about that it would most likely be done sooo obnoxiously and like its literally not what i want to see on tv)#and then i was wondering about when his religion became really important for him. like given what he seems to feel about his family#and how much he doesnt talk about them. i would assume its a connection he more or less found/established as independent from them#which leads me to think of it as either something he got into later or something which was a refuge for him as a kid.#and like ive thought before about how the things he mentions in heroes Dont have to do with catholicism. and maybe thats just bc it wasn't#part of the story. or maybe its because he just wasnt really looking there for guidance and hope at that point#anyway i dont have answers to any of these questions i was simply turning them over in my head like smooth pebbles in my mouth#me.txt#mashposting#oh i got soo distracted here but ALSO the reason i was thinking about it when i made thsi post is bc i was wondering what stained glass he#likes Lol#for potential use in a joke post i might make
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
do u guys wanna listen to nothing but flowers and think abt ihnmaims with me
#read the scene in a field of flowers from the radio play the other night i thought it was interesting..#original nonsense#personal#also last night i had a dream about space odyssey ??????????? someone posted something like oh its the anniversary of this thing#in the book. and i was like whoa i didnt know the book had very specific dates in it..#OH YEAH I WAS THINKING OF SPACE ODYSSEY LAST NIGHT BECAUSE im pretty sure they mention weeki wachee#in the 2nd book and im like HEH 😏 IVE BEEN THERE MANY TIMES 👍#<- it was crystal springs not weeki wachee but they mention underwater mermaid shows as well.
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay i think if i keep it smaller ill be able to say words. the movie is a wash in my brain i should probably watch it. oh like 20 more times just to be safe. expect more to come. ofc. BUT ANYWAY
GOD the gestural animation???? like lets be clear. this movie. hmm. concepts, vis dev, story boards, shot direction, matt paintings, modeling, lighting, rigging, so so many things, ALL BANGERS, and are part of animated movies that arent just 'animation'. go talk to ppl who know more than me abt that. BUT. were focusing.
okay. gestures, body language, general 'acting choices' type, animation. (Distinct mainly lets say from like, the fight choreo, and god okay key/special frames?. ARGH. ITS OWN THING)
THE CHARACTERS MOVE SOOOO GOOD AND FUN. lotsa lotsa people (on the subset of the internet that has been hyping up this movie forrrrr 5? month?) have been enjoying mainly the turtles, cause thats what was in the teasers. many gestures of emotion. the ooze clip a particular good example, mikeys fun arm waves, leos little finger waggle, the way you can see them over pronouning the sybalbles with the lip shapes. LIKE LOL. well yes its been so so repeatable. im doing it rn.
posts showing some of their movements of excitement (hand shaking, head nodding, spinning in a chair) and calling it stimming are delightful btw. (overlap btwn die hard turtle fans, this site's users, and stimmers? hmm? pardon? dont worry abt it)
but just point. like it feels so lively and real. the adage that animaters are actors is definetely as true as ever. and additionally wonder how much they got from the young vas or other sources that would show similar, modern teens with that kinda close interaction.
but yeah i wont try and do absolutes but is certainly, UP THERE. for, the most tactile, character to character interaction heavy and just, joyful and characterful movement in an animated feature. like. its up there.
GOOD MOVIE. MOVIE GOOD.
#some shit#turbles...#MOVIE TOO GOOD. BRAIN TO. like listen can u except me to be normal i waited for trailer drops. I watched ANNOUCEMNTS for trailers#watched trailers FOR TRAILERS.#at UNGOODLY HOURS.#by all reason my brain. IS GONNA BE FRIED#but i think it tracks all i can latch onto is the MOVEMENT. cause i get so excited I WANNA MOVE.#MY gesture of exciment i adopted in the theatre btw was tapping my 2 fingers on both hands. kinda like the asl sign for name if u know it.#BUT LIKE. VIGOUROUS. AND LOTS. and ascending toward bud next to be#it is frowned upon to yell SWAG and YOOOOOOOO every 5 minutes in a movie theatre. so.#OH OH OH. ANOTHER THING i can mention#this far into the tags is like post credits for a post so this is fitting. the lights came on at the very end of the credits#(yes WE ARE those ppl and its NOT a marvel induced behaviour)#lights come on and theres 2 other duos of like. older peeps and were all having are deranged little convos. BLESS.#i didnt here but WAS told one other group was trying to remember what the plots of the og 90s movies were.#okay anyway. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
This entire episode of relapse on relapse was caused by. Feelings. I don't know. I feel like it's kind of justified when you were obsessed with someone for 7 years but kinda let it go. And then that person. Makes out with you. And some other things. 🧍♀️It's been a week since we last met and I'm still thinking and daydreaming 🥲
#also. told me 'i thought i was an experiment or a phase' 💀 mf i was following you to the bus stop after school#i was such a massive creep psychologist got involved#and we sent each other semi nude pics. and you left a kiss mark on my neck like 3 years ago.#its actually funny. if it wasnt my life id laugh my ass off imagine being this clueless#and i didnt mention my feelings on this blog enough bc i was lowkey ashamed + terve and pronouns...#but it turns out we actually have a lot of beliefs in common even abt the trans thing. surprisingly.#oh wait i actually think ive posted a few vague things abt it
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
Would You Believe I was studying so I have yet to watch any further... but I 1000% trust your judgment and will resume shortly!
That's the consensus! He sounds really cute :) I think he's just hard on himself. On that note, this ad is the only time I can remember him singing in earnest (this video was one of the first things that marked my descent into madness btw. Kirin... Ichiban... Domestic "Jo"... what's not to love)
Your tag for my asks was #holder until i think of a tag for these asks!
absolutely valid reason to put a pause on watching my impulse control could never 🙏😭☠️ get that knowledge up my guy !!
ok but help i've actually had kirin ichiban a few times (i remember blogging about it here every time i did vlkaejvlkej), this is a real cute commercial though 😷😷 (even if it does make me hungry.. ironically speaking.. cause its meant to sell me the damn beer--)
#snap chats#I HOPE I DONT SEEM HOUNDING BOUT WATCHIN BTWJLVKJ i forget people consume media at a normal pace#thank you for finding my tag vVLKE I KNEW IT HAD 'HOLD' IN IT BUT WHEN I TRY LOOKING FOR IT OR HOPING AUTOFILL DOES ITS THING#NOTHING. NADA. hate this site. itd just make sense to tag asks from you with your user wouldnt it ☠️☠️#oh my god i was so distracted by fried rice i didnt even comment on the singing the singing's ALSO cute here#i do agree its probably that hes just hard on himself- not like i could say anything about that when i bully myself every other post ☠️#i love how half the comments on the vid do mention jo tho.... same brain vejralk#THERES ALSO LIKE MAX 15 COMMENTS BUT STILL we're all ill (unifying)#but man. to topically bounce around everywhere i do want fried rice now#i mentioned it At Some Point Probably but i used to live off fried rice and i remember using the same kind of spoon too#very weird specific memory to get but that's probably intentional to some extent from a selling point perspective#but im not here to analyze an ad bro dawg shut up just enjoy the man cooking 😭 him and his bouquet at the end yeah you deserve that king#cute as hell commercial.. rare day not tormented by the horrors lets a man cook ☠️☠️#i never got a chance to mention it but the other day i ended up having another tsutsumi dream ☠️☠️#its cause i was watchin onea his movies before bed again...#he was my dad in that dream this time tho and with how domestic this ad was it reminded me of that jvLAEKJ#anyways. no more movies before bed lest i wake up confused again
1 note
·
View note