#OH MYG OD PLEASE

[kimsangie]

highest form of love i can give a character: forked tongue

[geraskierfanficprompts]

When Jaskier's angry or upset, it's always "Don't touch me!" "Get away!" "Hands off!" And then the bard will be gone for hours or days until he calms down.

Now, Geralt understands this kind of reaction. He himself doesn't want to talk to/be around others when he's angry. Much less let anyone touch him. The thing is...Jaskier acting that way never fails to make Geralt feel like shit. Jaskier is usually so affectionate that the sudden cut off is jarring. The first few times it happened, Geralt had been sure that Jaskier was fed up with him and leaving for good.

However, Jaskier always returns. They make amends, and the bard resumes his touchy, affectionate ways.

One day though, they have their worst argument yet. And although he had always come back before, Geralt is certain that this is the time Jaskier will leave forever. If Jaskier walks out that door, Geralt is sure he will never see him again.

So, unthinkingly, Geralt catches the bard's wrist.

Jaskier's eyes widen, panic replaces anger. "Geralt! Let me go! Let me go right now!"

Geralt loosens his grip reflexively in response to Jaskier's panic. Did the bard think the witcher would force him to stay?

He opens his mouth to try to explain.

Only, the world is...spinning? And Geralt's tongue is heavy. And everything is warm. Oh, he feels like he’s going to hurl.

Then, he passes out.

An unknown amount of time later, Geralt wakes. He feels kind of hungover but is otherwise fine. To his relief, Jaskier is sitting at his bedside.

When the bard notices Geralt is awake, he inquires after his health. At Geralt's reassurance that he is fine, Jaskier launched into a tirade about the number of times he had told Geralt "NOT TO TOUCH ME WHEN I’M MAD! AND THAT INCLUDES RIGHT NOW, YOU SCARED ME HALF TO DEATH, YOU BASTARD!!!"

Geralt is a bit confused about how Jaskier being mad and his fainting spell are connected.

Two things are revealed:

1) Jaskier is part fae.

2) Some fae become toxic to touch when they are angry or upset. It is a magical trait, so it fades when the anger does. However, it can still be deadly.

This puts some things into perspective. Like how Jaskier, who seems to feel entitled to his emotions/reactions no matter how inappropriate they may be, is very skilled at cooling his temper. Or how, when he does become angry, he chooses verbal slander over physical violence. Or how when there IS a physical fight Jaskier wraps his hands in cloth and tries to use blunt instruments.

Bonus: Geralt tells all of the witchers not to touch Jaskier when he's mad, and Lambert takes that as a challenge.

I LOVE THIS!!!!!! OH MY GOODDDDDD!!! You take the things we spoke about and add onto it like putting glitter on a macaroni art craft, it's beautiful, It's so beautiful, oh my god! Poor Geralt thought his bard was leaving and poor Jaskier has to watch his stupid idiot Witcher touch him, gAH I love it! I want to read a 5k oneshot about it

[wizardfvcker]

bearer of the curse (silly little fic i started is slowly spiraling into A Whole Thing)

[todayisafridaynight]

mine fight got me saying ‘bro chill CHILL’ every five fucking seconds like bro CHILL

[theeighthwonder69420]

MAG 47..... .OHH MY GOD. MICHEAL VOICE MICHEAL VOICE. MICHEAL. MIHEAL OG MY GOD MIKE. FUCKHANDS MCMIKE LETS FUCKING GO

[swordsovereign]

Seofon hasn't had someone offer to keep him warm since his childhood- before he cast away his name ⎛ the son of a tailor and a baker who lived a peaceful life; sometimes he still heard the cruel laughter of the bandits, the first time he'd summoned a spectral blade- the reason he'd lived through that at all ⎠ and with Fiyero's warm pink blooming like flowers across his boundary blue, he feels as if he could weep. Not out of sorrow, but out of relief. Let me warm you up.

Seofon's never wanted to kiss anyone this badly in his life.

❝ I ... haven't had people protect me since I was a small child ... ❞ The words are spoken softly, almost in awe- and he wants nothing more than to simply hold Fiyero closer. Whatever inhibitions he's had before have started to melt away, and oh, he just wants to make sure that he doesn't ruin this. He'd surely break if he somehow pushed Fiyero away.

You're blue, Fiyero whispers, and Seofon manages to smile, taking note of the colors mixing together. Truly, all they were missing were some flecks of gold and white and they'd both look like the galaxy and stars, and Seofon wondered if that would bring them even closer. In a way, this was truly like taking Fiyero to Estalucia ⎛ because maybe it was always in his heart and soul- he wasn't the Star Sword Sovereign for nothing, after all! ⎠ and even though he had wished to share it with the Captain ...

He'd never forget the first person he fell in love with, but he wouldn't let that stop him from falling in love again. Not that he could actually control that at all- it had hit him full force. Seofon had never thought about something like love at first sight, but there was something about bearing his soul ... neither of them could control that back then.

❝ We could protect each other, ❞ Yes, he feels warmer now. They look like the sea of stars together. He basks in the feeling. Fiyero is made of love ⎛ Seofon knew that from the start ⎠ and he is so in love!

❝ I think ... that might be what we were meant to do. From the first day I met you, I think I knew... ❞ It's a leap of faith, closing that tiny distance between them, finally kissing Fiyero and feeling her soft lips- it's shy but full of emotion, and when he finally pulls away ⎛ not too much, though, if he had his way, he'd never be far away from Fiyero ever again ⎠ he feels ... warmer. Lighter.

❝ Let's do that- protect each other. We can keep each other warm even in the darkest of nights. ❞

seofon is all blue. like the sea. like the sky. all that's missing to complete the picture would be dots of white across his forms to make him look like that sea of stars they visited together. there's an odd sense of melancholy about him, something that gives fiyero pause when they finally find each other, never too far away, their apartments close by. but seofon himself, he seems ... at a distance. not quite there.

   fiyero almost can't stand it. he tries with words, first, glad when they reach the other. but it's not enough. he wants to feel that smile again, touching seofon's cheeks, wants to feel his arms around him, returning an embrace. it's greedy, he knows that, but he can't bring himself to care. seofon isn't close enough.

   looking down at their hands, he watches as their colours mix. it's an odd sensation, blue touching pink, leaving behind a soft purple where they meet. it takes a moment for it to truly take effect, but fiyero feels less giddy with it. like he won't catch fire if doesn't jump into seofon's arms right this instant. he looks up a bit belatedly, and his eyes are wide with affection and concern.

   ' and who's protecting you? ' he doesn't want to let go of their hands, thumbs brushing over seofon's knuckles. instead, he takes a step closer, pressing his forehead into the other's. his eyes squeeze shut for a moment, taking a deep breath, and when they flutter back open they stay on seofon, tracking his expression.

   ' my knight. my hero. you can put it down, with me. ' a note of despair, of adoration so big he almost can't hold it all. ' you don't have to be strong all the time. i can help. seofon. '

   it would be so, so easy. to kiss him.

   fiyero sighs, a noise so small you could almost miss it, if they weren't pressed together as they are. ' you're blue, ' he mutters in return, half amused. ' you should be warmer. let me warm you up. '

[oscconfessions]

IM FROTHING AT THE MOUTH I NEED LIY SO BADLY OH MYGNOD IM SO DOWN BAD FOR HER I LITTERALLY WANT TO PAINT MY LIGHTSWITCH TO BE RHE SAME COLOR AS HER OHHMMYYGODDDD I NEED HER SO INSANELY BADLY PLEASE TPOT 11 HAS RUINED ME HOLT FUCKING SHIT I LOVE HER SO MUCH OH MYG OD WE NEED A LIY PLUSH PLEASE JNJ PLESSE PELSSE PLEASE I USED FO AHBE RHIS LIY PLUSH I WOULD SOAK IN MILK AND SLAM AGANSIT WALLS HOLT FUCKING SHIT IF YOU DONT LIKE LIY GO THE FUCK AWAY ONLY LIY LIKERS ARE AWLOEDM RAGH OHEMJY GOD HOLT SHIT IM SO FICKINF INSANIE FOR HER

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[khihi]

He's hot now but imagine how hot he would be in the vampire dress with messy hair and running make up after riding him all night

OH MYG OD YEAH, this fit and this face PLEASE THANK YOU

[dreambigwithastro]

di danyone see that post from Vee what does tha tmean. is Tee okay. someone check on Tee. once the lockdown is over. please I hope everynoe is okay oh myg od oh mygod

[freeshephoun]

no yeah u dont have to inclue either of them i thought if you wanted to share them id throw that out lmao mariana is NEVER letting charlie take the kids on a “fun space trip” ever again T_T

also . idea . mustache girl is tallulah because before phil she had DEFINITELY NO FATHER so she was an orphan and also her and sunny really dont get along even if sunny wants them to :3

idk man i just get a bit silly snd thought i’d thriw this jazz out for u to use as you please

TALLULAH AS MUSTACHE GIRL YOUR BRAIN IS HUGE !!!!!!!! OH MYG ODE :3c i will so definetly use this idea trust!!

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

things we should have gotten in UAO: nine finding out about chimæra stanley and being on the verge of tears like oh myg od you guys named a cat after me,,, he's so fat i woul d die for him,,, and sam is over here like he is so good i'm glad you understand. can i have my cat back please

[gottawhump]

Oh myg od PLEASE I need more of that handler turned romantic being recognized by another pet. Dear god I need it so baaddd It's so good!!!

I love your enthusiasm! Though Jonas is a Romantic Handler turned pet (Guard Dog, not Romantic) recognized by another pet. This is sometime after that piece. And I guess I need to flesh this out further. Be warned, it’ll probably involve multiple POV changes.

If you want a Handler turned Romantic recognized by another pet, I believe that’s eventually on the table for @justplainwhump’s Tyler.

[chaiiitealeaves]

TUMBLR WHAT IS THIS. TUMBLR PLEASE. TUMBLR WHY IS MY THING ON THE LEFT AND WHY IS IT LIKE THIS OH MYG OD TUMBLR

[swampgallows]

please oh myg od fuck off with this left hand sidebar crowding shit i feel like im going to throw up im like claustrophobic what the fuck

[real-total-drama-takes]

https://www.tumblr.com/real-total-drama-takes/739896384876118016/you-only-hate-beth-because-of-pretty

i would like to issue an apology to the ugly community im so sorry i didnt mean what i said i love ugly people im sure you guys have great personalities please forgive me oh myg od i cnaybreathe rifhtnow,,,,,😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔

[nightynite]

just wanted to say i love ur did dude headcanons, ive taken some inspiration from them for some fanfics im writing, and also cowboy has not left my head ever since learning about him xp so thnx for sharing i enjoy ur work a lot

OH MYG OD???? THANK YOU SO MUCH I AM ABOUT TO CRY. THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY TO HEAR PLEASE SEND ME THE FINISHED FANFICS IF YOURE COMFORTABLE W THAT??? THIS IS SO NICE