#OH BITCH…..
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ELERI WARD IN THE FLORENCE WELCH GATSBY MUSICAL
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everyone sh. shutd up im cooking smthn
#genshin impact#venti#what am i cooking?? no idea#oh this isnt canon? dont care leave me alone#i remember thinking years ago how badass it would be to have to fight all the archons in reverse order once u get to celestia#like. not that they want to. but celestia or the heavenly principles control them not thru the gnosis but thru their thrones#dont. dont think about it too much i do NOT have enough brains to keep up with accurate lore details#i just want to see venti having lied about being the 'weakest' archon. that bitch has a fucking church theres no way. also gap moe is hhh#fitting to have your first major ally end up being a final-ish boss fight#zilly art
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guy doesnt know what pins n needles are
( part1-2/? ?)
(start) (<next part>)
#gravity falls#stanford pines#bill cipher#billford#he doesnt really knowhow to construct a humanform so his nerves are a bit fucked#bitch decided that 'oh you made mefeel funny so im gonna play with your emotions now'#ford is more so interested in bill as a creature ratherthan an god being in this world so hes just studying her#cue the date#(it willbe next)#why must he make everything a competition
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Broke: Anakin doesn't have any jedi friends his own age because he didn't fit in/Palpatine isolated him
Woke: Anakin doesn't have any jedi friends his own age because all his classmates keep trying to sleep with his Master and it's driving him crazy. If ONE more person asks him for Obi-Wan’s number he's gonna scream.
Ahsoka: Skyguy! Did you know the senior padawans put out a yearbook?? You'll never guess who won MILF (Master I'd Like To Fuck) of the year!!!
Anakin, not looking up: It’s Obi-Wan.
Ahsoka: ...huh did you already see it?
Anakin, with a thousand yard stare: It's always Obi-Wan. It's been Obi-Wan for the last 10 years Snips.
#Anakin once Byla starts dating: oh thank Force Aayla you're the only bitch in this temple I can trust here have a friendship bracelet#Anakin has accepted that everyone wants his Master carnally but why must they involve HIM in the process???#anakin skywalker#obi wan kenobi#ahsoka tano#jedi order#star wars
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Hey when you move out on your own the most important food tip I can give you is “maybe you don’t hate x maybe your guardians just cooked it wrong”
The number of foods I have learned I really like if they’re Fucking Seasoned
The number of foods I’ve introduced friends to that they warned me they’d always hated til I let them try a piece of mine
Also marinade things for 24 hours the second you have your own fridge it is a GAME CHANGER you thought you knew food but you have never met her
#food tips#food#usually pork#you can’t just fry pork plain#it’s fucking boring#no#even just the tiniest bloop of teriyaki#a teaspoon of lea and perrins#or my preferred bastard mix: honey garlic honey mustard teriyaki bbq lea and perrins#leave it in that bitch overnight#i did a 48 hour marinade once and OH MY FUCKING GID#i wish i had energy to do it every day
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so my younger cousin is flying in to visit from brazil on sunday, and will be staying here for like, the entirety of july. which, don't get me wrong, is super cool! i love the kid! but it felt like a super weird move, considering his parents are the SUPER strict and borderline helicopter parents. even the smallest prank/roughousing with him/his little sister would lead to a strict talking to from his parents, he couldn't ever do anything without their clear permission, that sort of stuff. so letting him fly at alone at 16 to a whole different country and stay there for a whole month seemed WILDLY out of character. additionally, it just felt like a super last-minute trip. it's not like we have any plans to do when he gets here, and the flight itself and stuff only got booked like, midway through june.
and i was talking to my mom about it, kind of trying to nudge some answers out of her, and after a while she went, "yeah, i think they're sending him over here to get away for his boyfriend. see if the distance breaks them off." which, first of all, surprised me because last i checked, they didn't KNOW he had a boyfriend. literally everyone in the family did EXCEPT for them because while that entire side of the family being semi-conservative, his parents (mostly his dad) are EXTREMELY old-fashioned. so clearly something already went wrong. and considering the only reason the rest of the family knew is because one person found out and it spread like wildfire, i have a sneaking suspicion he wasn't the one to tell them, either.
and second of all. they're sending him HERE. to try to make him forget his homosexuality. i couldn't do anything but just wordlessly gesture to the multiple pride flags scattered around my room, then to myself, because really? he has like two other cousins in the us and they're sending him to me? honey i am about to introduce this kid to queer scenes you have never even heard of. he'll be returning home with labels only shrimp can perceive
#icarus speaks#i fully believe she's correct btw#they are. not the brightest people. and honestly probably believe this is something that could work#cause i can see the logic of get him away and hopefully he'll realize it's a phase. which is Likely what they think#but oh honey you have a big storm coming#side note this is the SECOND time someone's been outed without permission on that side of the family 😭#bitches learned of my transgenderism SO quickly#also even if that's NOT why they sent him here. i will still be rocking his world#they have given me Infinite Power and i will use it to make this kid's life as queer as physically possible
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I refuse to change my headcanon that most of the other people at Canaan House probably thought Gideon was Harrow’s pretty boy toy until she showed them she could actually fight because she acted exactly nothing like a real Cav in anyway. A teenage ruler shows up with a hot butch that clearly isn’t trained to be a ninth Cav or even a normal-ish one? Come on. They probably thought griddlehark were over compensating trying to hide by staying away from each other. 
#the locked tomb#gideon nav#harrow nonagesimus#griddlehark#jokes on them#Harrow pretty much DID bring Gideon as a pretty boy toy#because she clearly barely understands just how good Gideon is with swords#like she openly admits that she’s surprised that Gideon is that good when they fight the bone monster thing#bitch why did you bring her then if you didn’t actually know she was one of the best swordswoman ever ?????#oh because you wanted her with you. gay bitch.
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Lmao OMFG Martin. He's now confirmed to have been jealous of
- (possibly lesbian?) Cop for daring to have private conversations with Jon
- literal embodiment of death Jon has only metaphorically met in a coma-dream
- lady he talked to for half an hour, once
Truly he is the "you know other people" meme
#i mean he was also catty to georgie but at least that's his ex gf#the magnus archives#martin blackwood#jonmartin#jmart#so so unhinged#i know people mostly love to coo over him bc they have self-esteem issues and social anxiety too#i simo over him for being a jealous petty argumentative passive aggressive bitch with oh so many issues#truly the character of all time#WHEN JON TALKED WITH HELEN HE'S BEEN BARELY NICE TO MARTIN AND ALSO ACCUSED YOU OF MURDER??#are you OK Martin???#i know it ended to working out but please have better taste girl
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Biblically accurate Blurr~
Blurr's Spotlight was actually the very first Transformers comic I ever read. I remember looking at the first pages and being like, holy shit, dude why are you so ugly?? Ahahjcmgmg
#maccadam#transformers#blurr#spotlight Blurr#I opened the spotlight without any fucking context about Blurr#and for the first half I was kinda expecting him to become a Decepticon#because he was#how do I say it#a bitch. He was a bitch👌#Egotistical and arrogant and overconfident#And. Well. In cartoons those traits are typically showed in the Decepticons#He didn’t fucking care about anything or anyone except himself#This isn’t what good old autobots looked like in tfp for example#but then he decided to join the Autobots#because he wanted to do the same thing he did before the war#he wanted to do something that matters to the world#yeah this was the moment I realised that#oh fuck there it is. The depth I wanted to see in cartoons so bad.#The shades of gray#Blurrs Spotlight sold my soul to Idw comics ahaha#Later I discovered that Blurrs are fucking doomed to heroic death but we don’t touch that right now
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Masquerade Road Trip 🚌
Okay but like…. What if instead of using mirrors they had to stuff this whole cast of people into a bus/van
It’d be a little funny
(Also turn up phone brightness to see it better. Or don’t. Idk I don’t control you)
#Listen guys#i put so many fucking details in this#Look please please please please#All of the items up top belong to people. Somewhat obviously but please notice the whack a bitch briefcase#Jamiazu…. Psspspspspspslslsoosos#To me this events happens after they’re dating so-#OH ALSO MAL MAL#HES DOING HIS “I got invited! :)” SIT#ANYWAYS#twst#twisted wonderland#twst fanart#twisted wonderland fanart#okay here we go#riddle rosehearts#malleus draconia#epel felmier#deuce spade#epeldeuce#if you squint#its implied#anyways#rook hunt#sebek zigvolt#silver#silver vanrouge#ruggie bucchi#idia shroud#jamil viper#azul ashengrotto
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in the one (1) month since i watched death note for the first time i sure have been doing a fucking posting
bonus:
#death note#rookposting#lawlight#light yagami#l lawliet#i was like oh.. i should crosspost some of my dn shit to tumblr but idk if ive made enough posts to do a comp.#(searches for one second) ah fuck#shoutout to the lovely people who made appearances in this compilation by helping me#hope yall dont mind#by the way im also a pisces bitch so im allowed to say that about him.
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Trans people need to start naming themselves like puritans but like the other way. I need to start hanging out with bitches named Contempt and Decadence and Heresy
#mars says stuff#like 'oh my friends call me DeeDee! its short for Decadence' its a speedrun for drowning in bitches
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when it's safe to crash
#911edit#911 abc#911#buddie#buddieedit#evan buckley#eddie diaz#christopher diaz#my edit#theyre fr like oh my loved ones are okay? yay! time to die#dramatic bitches
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Danny Is An Alternate Version Of Ra's Al Ghul And Flash Already Called Dibs On Adopting Him
Danny In All His Sleep Deprived Slightly Scuffed Up From A Fight Glory Is On His Way To Clockworks Tower To Hopefully Get A Nap And Maybe Some Homework Done When A Natural Portal Opens Up In Front Of Him And Proceeds To Unceremoniously Drop Him In The DC Verse Just Outside Of Central City Before Promptly Closing Leaving A Tired Danny Behind In A Run Down Abandoned Parking Lot.
It's Times Like This When Danny Regrets Putting Off Learning How To Make His Own Portals, Cause Now He Is Very Much Stuck For The Foreseeable Future And He Has No Idea Where Or When He Is. Luckily For Him However Central City Isn't Too Far Away, Unlucky For Him However Is That Once In The City He Realizes This Isn't His Dimension. He's Pretty Sure He'd Remember Something Called The Justice League.
So What Do You Do When Supernatural Bullshit Fails You? You Fall Back On Your Mad Scientist Roots And You Make A Portal Gun. So That's Exactly What Danny Plans To Do.
Unfortunately Staying Alive And Building Questionably Safe Portal Technology Requires Money And Supplies, So He Ends Up Wandering From City To City Doing Odd Jobs/Fixing Up Busted Tech For Cash Or Unwanted Electronics For His "Operation: Get Home" Needs. This Obviously Ends In A Few Superhero Encounter Shenanigans.
Though He Always Ends Up Back Near Central City, Both On The Off Chance The Natural Portal Will Open Up Again And Because Out Of All The Superheroes That Apparently Exist In This Universe The Speedsters Are His Favorite (Red Robin Is Solidly His Second Favorite Ever Since The Gotham Vigilante Gave Him A Large Coffee Filled With Enough Caffeine To Kill A Man).
Unbeknownst To Danny However Is That Every Hero/Vigilante He Has Encountered Has Come To At Least One Of The Following Conclusions; 1. Run Away Meta Who Is In Desperate Need Of A Good Meal/Adoption Bait. 2. Possibly Red Robin/Tim Drake Clone 3. A Good Kid But Could Possibly Be A Future Rouge If Left Unsupervised. 4. Did Bats Get A New Kid And Why Is He Here?
All Flash Knows Is That He Saw The Kid First And Therefore Has Dibs. Suck It Bruce.
Fast-forward A Few Months And Danny Gets Hurt During A Rogue Attack While Trying To Help Some Civilians Get To Safety (Old Hero Habits Die Hard (Ha Die Hard) And All That Jazz) And He Nopes Out Once Everyone Is Safe And When The Paramedics Are Busy With Other People Unaware He Left A Blood Sample Behind.
One DNA Test Brought To You By Paranoid Bat Concerns Of A Possible Red Robin Clone Later And They Find Out That Dannys DNA Matches One Ra's Al Ghul.
They Now Think Danny Is An Escaped Ra's Al Ghul Clone.
Memes For The Vibes:
#captain's posts#this has been haunting me#the flash/any of the speedsters:*exist*#danny:*can feel the speedforce on them* i like your vibe funny man#basically danny is actually an alternate version of Ra's Al Ghul and gets chucked into the dc vesrse#because natural portals are bitches hijinks ensue#and while i do love batfam adopting danny i think its very funny for flash to just yoink him while the big bad bat isn't looking#i desperately need him and tim to be besties tho specifically before they find out danny is an alternate Ra's Al Ghul#danny:*sitting in a park and tinkering with some circuitry* oh hey flash :)#flash: hey kid! great news i might be adopting a kid soon!#danny: oh really? thats cool-#flash:*holding out adoption papers and doing his best puppy eyes* its you. sign here.#danny:*vague memory of clockwork complaining about speedster pops into his mind* hmmm#danny:*deciding to be a little shit cause what else do you do when you're almost a year into being stuck in an alternate dimension* >=)#danny: sure why not? soooo full name or what?#flash:*didn't expect to get this far* uh-#i also really like danny being clockworks apprentice/time line clean upper so danny just remembers cw bitchin about the speedsters#also cause im a sucker for tim x danny...#tim:*having a crisis cause the cute meta kid he befriended/has a crush on may or may not be a vlone of Ra's Al Ghul* aaaaasaaaaaaaasaaaaaaa#dick: you okay buddy?#tim:*aggressively points at the dna match of danny to Ra's Al Ghul on the bat computer* AAAAAAAAAAAAAA#dick: Oh-#dc x dp#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc prompt#dpxdc
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