imthetaxxman

[imthetaxxman]

Austin (9/26) | Cinema

[imthetaxxman]

Favorite Character Meme [3/5 Relationships]: Shawn & Cory

"I always thought Topanga was the one person I could never live without, but she's gone, and you're here, and I'm alive so it must be you . . . Shawnie, I love you."

[imthetaxxman]

😬

[imthetaxxman]

DUNKIRK PREMIERE (2017) - MY POLICEMAN PREMIERE (2022)

[imthetaxxman]

Iconic moment from Harryween 2022 [x, x]

[imthetaxxman]

Steve lost his virginity to a USO girl:

The USO girl:

[imthetaxxman]

So I just realized something "Tell me what you want and you got it, love / I want all of you, gimme all you got / That's cinema" is like a sub talking to his dom. And a scene is what a "pre-planned space where BDSM activities take place is called". Scene -> Cinema

[imthetaxxman]

YOU GOT, YOU GOT………I BRING THE POP…..YOU POP…….YOU GOT, YOU GOT………I BRING THE POP………..YOU GOT, YOU GOT THE CINEMA………I BRING THE POP TO THE CINEMA, YOU POP……..YOU GOT, YOU GOT THE CINEMA YOU GOT, YOU GOT THE CINEMA I BRING THE POP TO THE CINEMA YOU POP WHEN WE GET INTIMATE

[imthetaxxman]

“We can put the couch cushions on the floor, like when we were kids.”

“The thing is, you don’t have to (get by on your own).”

“Cos I’m with you til the end of the line, pal.”

The couch cushion is on the floor.

But he’s on his own.

[imthetaxxman]

Reblog if you would go and watch it! (Yes this is actually real!!) Honestly add Sam, Natasha and Steve and I would actually pass away 😂😍

[imthetaxxman]

everyone listening to hs3

[imthetaxxman]

before i watch yours

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTduWLeau/

<3

i hate steve sm

rant tw

here’s the thing. i don’t hate steve. i love him. i think he’s a wonderful character, and was in the right virtually always.

but i HATE what he did to Bucky. you can say that Bucky was a grown man who didn’t need him but was he really?

think about it. the man was 106 after endgame. when he was drafted he was roughly 27/28 (not sure of the exact age). keep in mind, our bodies arent fully developed until we are 25, so this poor boy was just barely able to cope with what was going on physically.

now, lets think about what he went through.

80 years. 80 years of conditioning. conditioning is the scientific word for brainwashing, in a way (not always, conditioning can be a good thing, and its how we train animals to go to the bathroom outside, recognize certain code words, etc.). "the definition of conditioning is a behavioral process whereby a response becomes more frequent or more predictable in a given environment as a result of reinforcement, with reinforcement typically being a stimulus or reward for a desired response." (www.britannica.com)

in order to condition ones mind, a conditioned stimulus makes an organism react to something because it is related to something else.

an example of this is giving your dog a treat when they use the bathroom outside. before conditioning, the dog essentially only understands that the treat you are giving them is food, therefore the treat is the unconditioned stimulus, and them salivating is the unconditioned response. the neutral stimulus is using the bathroom outside, and then unconditioned response is no salivation from the dog, because to them, there is no correlation between the two.

so, whenever your dog uses the bathroom outside, they receive a treat, and the unconditioned stimulus triggers the unconditioned response. through conditioning, the dog begins to learn the correlation between the treat and using the bathroom, and soon enough going to the bathroom becomes the conditioned stimulus, and them salivating for a treat becomes the conditioned response.

we know that Natasha experienced psychological conditioning, so it is reasonable to believe that Bucky experienced the same. remember, a conditioned stimulus makes an organism react to something because it is related to something else.

we know that he went through horrific abuse and trauma whenever he was unfrozen, and another phenomenon that happens to our brain during something like that is that someone undergoes an event so traumatic that their brain literally cannot handle it, and basically the brain just deletes the memory because the pain and trauma are too much to deal with. You can ask them over and over about it or show them a video of it happening, but they just won’t remember. It’s a case in which their personal memory is fried. (https://www.quora.com/How-did-the-Hydra-scientists-brainwash-Bucky-Barnes-into-becoming-the-Winter-Soldier)

anyways, enough of the psychology part and back to Bucky bc im rambling.

Steve saying "i'm with you til the end of the line" in CATWS broke all that conditioning, and the brain just burying the information. whether Bucky understood in the moment what was happening or not, you can see, so clearly, the moment the conditioning leaves, and he recognizes Steve, even for the tiniest of moments.

he recognizes that this person is important to him, and he shouldn't be hurting him. he should be fighting side by side with him. he should be protecting him, just like he had been conditioned to do through simply being friends with Steve Rogers since childhood.

he was conditioned, through being friends with Steve to protect him, and he knew that he had to save him. he drags him out of the river, onto the river bank, and as soon as he's sure Steve is alive, he sees an opportunity to escape the terror, trauma, and abuse, and he runs for his life.

somehow (not entirely sure how), he makes it to Romania. working for a living, and barely surviving was another thing conditioned into him from an early age, and i believe it broke HYDRA's conditioning that much more. he was able to almost revert back to his 27/28 year old mindset, and focus on rebuilding his life.

then Steve shows up again, and he's thrown back into a fight. all he knew for 80 years before this was abuse, conditioning, and fighting. he didn't know rest, and he didn't know peace, and theres a very slim chance that he found that in Romania.

he loses his arm again, in what i can only imagine was a much more painful way (some of the wires were bound right onto his muscles and nerves) than on the train, considering he probably passed out from the g force of the fall, and doesnt remember his arm actually coming off.

finally, he makes it to Wakanda, and he fully reverts to his 28 year old self. he's in Wakanda for 2 years, so mentally, he ages to 30. keep in mind, the only familiar person he knows is Steve.

then, he fights again. he doesn't want to, but at that point it's pretty much expected of him, he thinks, so he does it without question. they lose, and he's gone for 5 years.

it's not 5 years for him, we all saw what it was like when Yelena dusted in Hawkeye. it was less than a second, and he was 5 years in the future, and fighting again. there was no mental aging there, but he's barely understanding whats going on (if at all) but again, he thinks its expected of him, so he continues and he wins.

they win, and i can only imagine the amount of relief he felt in that moment, and then immediate sadness because he cant express that happiness, and Steve just lost Tony, someone important to him, whether he likes to admit it or not.

the funeral happens, and no matter how uncomfortable it is, he bears it, knowing that after this, he and Steve will be free together, and he will be able to piece his life together after 80 years, with the only person who feels like home anymore.

whether or not Steve spoke to him doesn't matter. at some point, he realizes he's losing Steve. he realizes he's going to be on his own again, and expected to fight and make it on his own, when he literally has no idea how to. he's been pardoned, but that doesn't help the fact that he legally hasn't existed since 1945. Steve, however, has. Steve has an income, a place to stay, a life. Bucky doesn't have that, and for once in his life and friendship with Steve, Steve is the one taking care of him. or so he thought.

Steve leaves, and he's utterly abandoned. he knows no one in this century, and he's assuming his entire family is dead. his best friend/soulmate left him, and he's alone again. he doesn't have anything, and yet he is expected to present himself like he has everything when his everything is gone.

remember, mentally, he is 30. he was 27/28 when he was drafted, and was mentally 30 when he was fully free. at least he still has the shield, right?

wrong.

Sam hands it to the Smithsonian, and the government assigns a new Captain America, when Bucky was the one who kept the first Captain America alive.

the last thing he now has of Steve's is that tiny little notebook. a small book, no more than 200 pages. thats it.

a book is all he has left of Steve Rogers, when all he truly needed from Steve was Steve himself.

he needed him to be there to support him. he needed him to be there to understand, because mentally, Steve was older than him by that point.

Steve was freed from the ice in 2011, and he left in 2023. in that time, he aged 12 years, both physically and mentally, making him 38 in endgame, 8 years older than Bucky. Bucky wasn't freed until 2014, 3 years after Steve.

he may have been 106, but he was still young. too young for all the terrors he experienced. too young to be fighting for almost 90 years, and far too young to be abandoned by the only person he would stare death in the face multiple times for.

Steve is a wonderful character, but what him leaving did to Bucky was downright uncalled for, and i can't even blame Steve/Chris for it (theres absolutely no way Chris is actually okay with it by the way. i would love to know his actual feelings), i FULLY blame the russos/feige.

they could have had him in an off screen role in tfatws. they could have kept him as the one helping bucky through his trauma, not dr r*ynor.

both their characters deserved better, but especially Bucky. we all saw how sweet and innocent he was before the war, and its a damn crime we wont see that side to him ever again, because he was ONLY ever like that with Steve.

[imthetaxxman]

Normal people: it would be cute if these two characters got together.

Me: the entirety of my happiness now depends on what happens between these two fictional characters. I have boarded this ship and I’m not leaving. I have sold my house so I can live on it. I will sail on the winds of subtext and follow the sexual tension like the North Star that it is. I will do this until the very end, until it crushes on the rocks of canon and gets swallowed by the ocean of emotional blue balls and I drown in the disappointment and emptiness that follows.

[imthetaxxman]

[imthetaxxman]

[imthetaxxman]

When you find a fic on your favourite ship, with an amazing plot and all the tropes you like.

[imthetaxxman]

Do you have any kinks?

That second sleep after you’ve woken up too early