#i wish i had energy to do it every day
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Hey when you move out on your own the most important food tip I can give you is “maybe you don’t hate x maybe your guardians just cooked it wrong”
The number of foods I have learned I really like if they’re Fucking Seasoned
The number of foods I’ve introduced friends to that they warned me they’d always hated til I let them try a piece of mine
Also marinade things for 24 hours the second you have your own fridge it is a GAME CHANGER you thought you knew food but you have never met her
#food tips#food#usually pork#you can’t just fry pork plain#it’s fucking boring#no#even just the tiniest bloop of teriyaki#a teaspoon of lea and perrins#or my preferred bastard mix: honey garlic honey mustard teriyaki bbq lea and perrins#leave it in that bitch overnight#i did a 48 hour marinade once and OH MY FUCKING GID#i wish i had energy to do it every day
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Taking a break from amphibianaday soon and may or may not return
Day 1821 is coming up soon, marking half a decade of amphibians! After day 1821 I will be taking break to re-evaluate if I'm still drawing because I want to or because it's become a habit. Between fulltime work and hrt turning me into some kind of extrovert I have a lot less free time now. I guess I'm figuring out how I want to spend it?
I don't want to promise any kind of return but I also can't quite commit to deciding to stop for real yet. So. I'm waiting until day 1821 so I can end on a good milestone if I don't decide to keep drawing! :D
a bunch of personal soppy thoughts about it below if you're curious!
It's been part of my life for so long, it's hard to imagine not drawing every day now. But my life is in such a different place now than it was when I started, in so many different ways. When I started I was living with my parents, working a part time job I hated, hoping to study to become a game animator. I had only barely figured out my gender situation after years of questioning and denial. Since starting this blog I have:
come out as trans
got accepted at my dream school
changed my legal name
moved out
realized I didn't want to be an animator actaully
fell in love with rigging and programming
graduated and started working as a professional technical animator
started HRT
got top suregery
Kind of wild to think about how drawing amphibians has been with me quietly in the background through all this. I'm sort of moving away from bein An Artist™ (at least professionally), but drawing all these amphibians so far has been awesome and improved my art so much. I've made lots of art I'm really proud of!
Alos gotta take this time to say a Huge thank you to anyone who has ever said something nice in an ask, dm, reply, tag, etc. I read and treasure every kind message and it's always made my day to hear my art has brightened someone else's, or been an inspiration :)
See you in 2025!
#not art#maybe if i decide to total stop ill return just to do amphibiuary or something. make it a month long commitment instead of every day foreve#this one's been in the drafts a while... it's hard to imagine saying goodbye to the frogs...#but at the same time i dont have the time and energy i wish i had to spend on drawing and i will not force myself to minmax my commute time#id rather draw less than make myself hate it you know?#in the past i would get through an occasional busy period by lowering my standards but nowadays almost my entire life is a busy period#and im not so happy with the the ratio of 'art im really satisfied with' to 'art that's keeping me in the habit'
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today i wish my government a very pleasant disappearance from the face of the earth
#not only today honestly#every day. but TODAY especially#and it's a friendly reminder to check on ur queer friends if they're in r*ssia#i don't even have any energy to write anything about it tbh i wish i had the energy to fight but i just wanna go extinct rn im sorry#i wish i was strong like others. i have a lot to lose now#and i know other people do too. i'm sorry that i'm so scared#i shouldn't be but unfortunately i am. more than ever#again. check on ur friends. it might save someone's life literally
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Happy Valentines Day!!!! Or just "Happy Heart Chocolates Day" as one of my pals likes to call it!
Definitely not gonna be able to draw anything for Valentines day. A shame. So much hit me all at once so I hadn't been in the state of mind to do it.
Oh well! Maybe I'll make something late for Valentines day. Oh or my birthday! I should focus on drawing something for my birthday-
#text post#just rambling#toast you dont need to post on every holiday#BUT I WANT TO ndjdkfkd aaa i wish I had infinate time and energy!!!!!#so much to do so little time#picking up Wally and Dandy and making them kiss in my mind since i didnt draw it in time#just imagine them in love#HAPPY VALENTINES DAY BTW YALL KISS KISS SLASH PLATONIC!!!!!!!
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Real question guys. Why do I wear this same hat every time I do a green look? I have so many hats that do not see enough daylight because I'm like this
#butterfly selfies#no but for realsies#sometimes i wish i had more energy to crawl out of bed every day and do my makeup and put together a fun outfit#i love this stuff i love putting together an outfit with fun accessories and fun makeup#i feel so happy and in myself#and i do not do it often enough
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Omg where are bunny , octopus and orange anon when we need them and their headcanons the most 🥹
I don't know but I miss them and love them 🥹🥹🥹🥹💓
#it's my fault really because I just haven't had the time or energy to answer many asks lately 😔#but I do miss talking with people about aki#I hope to talk more about aki when the movie finally comes....#I miss him.......#logging in every day with my feather duster just to reblog an old aki post and dust the cobwebs off my ask box#(I don't mean this in a bad way for any anons by the way.... I appreciate everyone and I wish I had more time to chat 🥺)#I need hibernation until chainsaw man movie#sometimes I dream about the movie and when I wake up I'm disappointed I still have to wait loooollll#ask mags
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Did my 500 words today :D
#Hayley Writes Triangulum#I wish I had the energy to do at least 500 words every day I work both jobs#I feel like I could get so much more done quicker if I at least wrote THAT many
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I can't believe I forgot international friendship day wHAT... it's MY day I love my friends and I love them with my whole heart and soul what the heck I didn't do anything for it noooo :( just- THAT POST I MADE ON VALENTINES!!! THAT!!! THATS WHAT I HAVE TO SAY!!!!
I love my friends so much I love YOU so much!! Thank you for being in my life and being my friend and loving me I hope you know I love YOU and i will NEVER stop loving you EVEN if we're apart OKAY!!??
I'm far too tired but this is already on the third paragraph so it's still pretty good and I still have more words to say so YES!! If you are my friend and you are reading this, know that I utterly adore you and EVERYTHING you do. Your art, your stories, your ideas, your creations, your music, your jokes, your friendships, your passions, your laughter, your happiness, I love love LOVE it and I will NEVER get tired of it!!! EVEN IF IT SEEMS LIKE I AM!!! I AM NOT!!! I PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE YOU I'LL NEVER GET TIRED OF YOU AND WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY! Sometimes I'm just tired, but never of you, okay??
And if you need a shoulder to lean on or an ear to listen, I will be here. And I'm sorry if sometimes I lose the words to say or the energy to talk, but know I love you so goddamn much, more than the sun shines, more than the solar systems in galaxies, more than every star in the WHOLE WIDE UNIVERSE!!! Okay??? You are a WONDER for being here and I am so lucky to have you as a friend, no matter what you think, I am lucky to have you.
Okay, I'm going to bed, I love you! Remember that, okay?
#rennikorambles#kaibigan kong mahal#lovely rambling#i am sleepy and tieed but when it comes to friends?#it gave me a burst of energy realizing i had to make a post#because like i said!!! i am overflowing with love for my friends all the time always <3#i'd ping ppl but i cannot think rn and i dont wanna miss people so maybe i'll do it in the morning? or just revlog this and hope they see..#anyways!! i love you guys so so so SO much. you mean the world to me#even if we hadnt talked in a while. please know youre my friend and i love yiu and care about you and#i wish you the very best all the time#i hope that every star watches over you and gives you happiness!! as much happiness as there are stars in the sky!!!#ok ok im going ro bed goodnighttt#international friendship day
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I'm working on a project on my computer and vaping, this is the closest I've been to my normal pain level in days. I know it won't last, especially not when I'm trying to sleep later.
Trying to ignore the guilt of disappearing from work for three days, when the last time I did that it was my mental breakdown two years ago.
#it's not like then#not really#I mean it is and it isn't#my physical health was/is in a point of decline and the fear of pushing myself too hard became/is becoming too much#but I've grown so much in the last two years#I'm not gonna lie#sometimes I wish I had quit the work force back then#I obviously couldn't have predicted the sharp decline of my physical health over the course of this calendar year#but it happened#so the day to day question becomes now what?#now what do I do with myself/my life/my time/my energy/my independence/my god knows what else#nothing I am physically capable of doing is going to fulfill me and the things that fulfill me are now out of reach#so what fucking now?#I think this is it folks#I think it's time to start planning my exit strategy from the work force#and I don't know how the fuck I'm gonna do that when we literally just bought a condo#and I have therapy tomorrow too so I get to try and relay all this to my therapist in just half an hour lol#I don't regret dropping down to maintenance sessions#but sometimes you just need more time#tomorrow I'll get on the phone and be like ohmygodjoshitsbeensuchafuckingweek#ihadaflareupsobadicalledoutofatotaloffourdaysofworkandleftearlybythreehoursoneday#andnowimhavingcompletefearsaboutbeingsocompletelyincapacitatedthatillneverleavethehouseagain#and he'll be like well first of all BREATHE#second of all there's nothing indicating that this is unlike every other flare up that you've managed to fight through after a week plus#and then I'll be like butwhatifimstuckhomewithkaren24/7andshedrivesmebatshitwhenicantleaveonmyown?#and then he'll be like what did I just say about breathing?#but then he'll point out that the point of us moving is so we can get more space and be able to separate ourselves from her more#and then I'll cycle back to but she won't see reason and take the downstairs bedroom now instead of god knows how long down the line#trust me we do this every two weeks lol
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hey does anyone know how we’re supposed to survive it all. asking for a friend
#she speaks#oh gang we’re really in it now#i don’t think i’ve ever felt this bad this deeply in my whole life lol#the burnout just keeps accumulating past any point i thought it could reach#and i can’t even pretend at work anymore#i’m so tired and these kids are so infuriating and it builds and builds every time they do something shitty#and i love them and it’s not their fault they’re just kids and they’re tired and it’s almost summer#but god i can’t fucking do it anymore#how exactly am i supposed to survive the next two weeks#the class i’m taking is too confusing and too fast paced#and i didn’t buy the textbook bc it’s 200 fucking dollars#and our apartment is always a mess#and i can’t keep up with friendships and feel like i’m constantly letting them down#and there’s nothing i can do to fix any of it#until the school year is over#bc at this point it takes everything i have just to get up and go to work in the mornings#but then i still have to somehow find energy to do other stuff too. and like actually teach.#i have to grade and do report cards and return materials and clean up my classroom#i need to complete a checklist the size of a novel before i leave for the summer#i need to keep the kids engaged but none of us want to be here#i need to start organizing to make next year easier#i need to fill out paperwork and spreadsheets and update my password and find time to feed myself and grade more papers and#vacuum the floors and scoop litter and clean up clutter and do dishes and wipe down counters#and i haven’t been able to fucking do any of it in months and left so many chores to my poor partner who’s also going through it#bc i have nothing left and i don’t know what to do!! i want to scream every minute of every day bc i’m so beyond overwhelmed the moment#i wake up in the morning but i don’t have time for a meltdown so i just keep going!!#i wish i had better words to explain how bad it’s gotten but the brain fog has gotten so so bad#i can barely think i can’t make decisions my memory and recall have gotten so much worse#i take my anxiety meds so often that they’ve stopped working#and yet i still worry that i’m making it up and being dramatic. anyway sorry about all this lol
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Kinda wanna make one of those x character daily blogs for the werehog.....
#ramblings#i wish i had the time and energy to draw every day rn#i could do like. batches of doodles one day and just set up a queue#and take doodle requests too to keep ideas flowing#they'd be low effort doodles tho not anything fancy#just to have something to do in between bigger things maybe. when i have the time ig#idk we'll see
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Your obikin rants when you reblog my post are my daily delight, please never stop 🥰
Oh you darling 😌🤭🥰 I'm glad that it is amusing to you. I often do wonder about the people who just get a massive text block in their activity and then just proceed to do it anyways -amused- it's good it provides for good reading material 😌😏😏
#msg#virahaus#Honestly though I used to do this more often#I admit that lately it's been easier to reblog in larger quantities than agonize about giving personal commentary for every reblog#I wish I had more time and energy to comment each reblog#but with my drafts kissing 600 its..... hard.#but when it happens it is so karkin fun -laughs-#obi-wan is so unhinged in that i had to point it out#man seriously shrugged decades of jaded attitude only to become the sweetest‚ softest sap#luke‚ the next time he sees obi-wan: who the kark?#since obi-wan is radiating peace and gentle wisdom#no more jabs nor cynic comments#not even ones from his jedi master era#gone is all#all that remains is blissed out peace and only 'ahnakin pay attention' and 'ahnakin look how nice it is'#and 'ahnakin we will travel the world now'#hahahah#i hope you are having a loooovely day 😌
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I am. tired. and struggling to function. and I need a hug
#everything is a lot n I’m not coping n I dont have the capability to get the support I need#i need someone to come have an admin day n help me apply to ndis and for food stamps and to fix my energy bill etc#bc i cant do it alone n i cant make phone calls but i also cant keep living like this#also i wish i had a vet friend who could help me w magnus’ diabetes stuff#im a Mess about that situation rn#i keep having huge meltdowns n needlng constant support but i dont have people w the time n capacity to talk to me all day or come help me#and all my struggles are accompanied by the thumpthumpthump of my neighbours blasting music every day#i wanna be asleep rn (wanted to sleep 3hrs ago) but i cant bc of the noise#screaming and crying. everything happens so nuch#post
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It really is a curse to my fuckin brain that my favorite show has a character named Viren and my fave videogame has a character named Riven. Two very different characters. One a human mage, one a massive reality-bending and extremely dangerous wish dragon. Both with extremely similar names that I mix up ALL THE FUCKING TIME.
#ive been watching tdp since around May 2019 and been playing destiny since March 2017. with riven being actually in D2 since 2018#and with this season becoming a much more present character obviously#since season of the wish started. ever time i talk about riven. i have to try so FUCKING hard. to say riven. rather than viren.#it curses my brain every time#once i was rambling about riven in the tags of a post and how damn cool it is to see her now in game un-corrupted and speak with her#(even if i dont fucking trust her)#and then i realized. i had said viren at least the last few times. and i couldnt see how many other times id done it#and i couldnt fix em anyway#so i just stared at my phone for a sec with internal despair. deleted all the tags. and just reblogged the fuckin post cuz i didnt wanna#type that all out again and was so done with that typo that i didnt have the energy to go off again in the tags#this is very much a first world problem. but my brain sure as shit is still having it#my brain over here is like 'oh 2 different names with the same exact letters but just 2 of them switched? theyre interchangeable now'#AAAAAAAHHHHHHH#and ive said viren's name MUCH more so i keep wanting to say viren for both of them. which is a disrespect to riven cuz shes cool#and would probably be lowkey offended by it#and shes both evil and not evil given the nature of the ahamkara. just...doing whatever is best for her in the moment#even if that means death and corruption along the way#viren is utterly weak in comparison to riven's might#during his dark magic days hes go off with dark magic on her and shed be like 'that is cute o mage mine' and just fucking stomp on him#after displaying her true face and screaming in his with it#destiny the game#destiny 2#riven#viren#tdp#the dragon prince#dragon lady letters#i like so much media involving dragons. even if riven fits VERY loosely into the category of dragon. with her like 12 eyes and cover over#her true face and spiked tentacles on her neck. and heart in her throat. the ahamkara are so fascinating but also SO weird
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one day i will post eriks art .and rhe world will sing
#i love him so much . i wish we had more of him T_T sry 2 vash for ur trauma or whatever#hes like .#every time i read a story n grow attached to a chara im like . u know what you need to do#grow out your hair and grow a shitty beard 2 make urself (me) feel better#and he listened .. trimax ch 1 and 2 best day of my life fr#its like .my favorite character design IM SRY OK!!! ik its overplayed but its so yummy . to me#vash#eriks#trigun#i like the way its currently set up wherein ww and vash meet like Technically once and then eriks arc happens and he finds him again#but a smalll part of me is like . what if that happened later in the story and when they knew each other frl . which i guess thats what#stampede is getting at but idc . so#but i do like the way trimax went w it anyways bc there wasnt room for that once vash got moving again#he was determined ‼️ to end it once and for all HSKAGA.hm#dont even mnow what im getting at anymore .#anyways stream eriks frm trimax .❤️#that sc of him and ww walking 2 the fake vash .love the composition love his outfit love the energy
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