#OH ALMOST FORGOT

[theweirdestroller]

The Time Blades Sang Karaoke With Optimus Prime

"Oh oh oh, and have I ever told you about the time Optimus and I sang karaoke?" Why no Blades. You did not. Allow me to tell everyone for you. So- That's all this one-shot is! More fun with Blades, Ratchet, and Orion!

"C'mon Ratch! Sing with me!" Blades tugged on Ratchet's arm. The ATV had picked up a whining tone that had quickly started to get on Ratchet's nerves. "No. I'm not singing." "But it would be funnnnn," Blades hung off his roommate's arm. Ratchet pried Blades's servo off and let the smaller bot fall to the floor. "Go find someone else to pester," Ratchet stepped over Blades's frame. "But Jazz is busy DJ-ing and nobody else wants to sing with me!" Blades whined as he pulled himself off the floor. The bot looked miserable. "Pleeeease?" Blades widened his optics and gave a small pout, trying to look cute. Cute had never worked on Ratchet before and neither were under the impression it would start now. Ratchet sidestepped his rather pathetic looking roommate and swiped a cube of high-grade before returning to the party. Blades sighed and slumped to the floor once again. Ratchet was usually more open to partying with Blades, but the taller medic wasn't up to Blades's type of fun. Probably off talking to- Blades shot up from the ground. "ORION PAX!" Blades popped his wheels out of his pedes and darted into the party. He found the blue and red archivist downing a cube of high-grade, as expected. Most everything Blades knew about the mech, outside of these parties, was through Ratchet. That is to say, Blades didn't know Orion very well at all. Good thing you didn't need to know someone to drag them into karaoke. Blades grabbed Orion by the arm and dragged him up to Jazz, who was in charge of all the music. (It did not occur to Blades that Orion so easily followed because Blades, much like Ratchet, was white and orange. And Orion was overcharged as per usual.) "Jazz! Orion and I would like to sing-" "Shut Up and Dance!" Orion had a wide grin on his face. "Got it! The mics are all yours!" Whatever high energy song Jazz had been playing transitioned into a familiar beat that had Blades more than excited. Surprisingly, it was Orion's voice that started tham off. The archivist was tapping his pede to the beat, his optics bright from overcharge. "Don't you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me. I said you're holding back she said shut up and dance with me," Blades watched Orion at the mic, not yet having joined him. The ATV let out a shaky vent and adjusted his hold on the mic. "This woman is my destiny she said-" "Oo ooo~ Shut up and dance with me!" Blades joined in, singing the lyrics with all his spark. "We were victims of the night, the chemical, physical kryponite! Helpless to the bass and the fading light, oh~ we were bound to get together! Bound to get together!" Singing together was so fun! Ratchet didn’t join Blades enough. He really ought to remedy that.

--

Ratchet watched as his closest friends danced and sang together. The song was catchy, a pop tune he was sure he had heard before. It was also likely Orion's choice, as the mech was the one to start singing first. The medic took a small sip of his cube. Hopefully, this would prevent Blades from asking karaoke from him too often. Ratchet had no place in the center of attention. And neither did Blades, outside of these parties.

--

Blades needed to get Ratchet on this stage next. This was so much more fun than usual! Orion had wound the mic cord around his leg, somehow managing not to trip over it. Blades twirled his cord like a ribbon. It was as elegant as it was an uncoordinated, overcharged dance.

--

Back in the audience, a young enforcer was snickering into his cube. Streetwise loved these shindigs. Good high-grade, good entertainment, and if the way Orion was already struggling with his mic cord was anything to go by, something funny too.

--

Blades hadn't actually considered how dangerous the mic cords were. He still twirled his like it was an extension of himself. He should consider adding a winch to his frame. But the winch could wait for another time. He'd say a time after karaoke but- It was like slow motion, the cord just a bit tighter, Orion, who made the wrong step, and then- CRASH! Orion was sprawled out on the floor, still rather happy, but a bit bruised up. Blades let out a squeak and hurried to help up his fallen friend. Both of them were laughing, as were most others who bore witness to Orion's blunder. Ratchet was absolutely cackling, he had likely seen this coming.

--

"Ratch? You up for karaoke?" Blades asked, though there wasn't any party this time. There was a mischievous twinkle in his optics Ratchet set his datapads down with a soft thunk. There was no way that Blades would be getting Ratchet to join him any time soon. "You can return these." The taller medic left the room without another word. "Wait! Ratchet!! I'm sorry!" Blades scrambled after his roommate. Ratchet laughed to himself as Blades chased after him. With luck, Blades adopted Orion as his new karaoke partner.

[airlocksandaviaries]

Redrew a frame from Avengers Assemble as MCU Stevetony because it was driving me absolutely INSANE

reference:

[reds-skull]

Price plays poker properly only when Ghost is involved

(I don't remember how to play poker so they're also playing wrong now)

[snickeringdragon]

isat au BLAST !!

[froglover7789]

ok star wars au where the sequels are what i think they shouldve been and its just luke poorly trying to wrangle a bunch of force sensitive kids while leia tries to set him up on blind dates and han keeps showing up to sleep on lukes couch bc he cant stop fighting with the wife and lukes husband (insert man of your choice here) regularly ponders what caused his life to be surrounded by so many weirdos and idk i think it would be fun and sweet

uhhh in this universe luke senses bens crazy dreams and buys him a space 3ds with space animal crossing new leaf and kylo ren is never born. easy fix if you ask me. rey can be there too why not. and finn. what the hell! bring them all in! who gives a shit!!! this is my mind palace and i write the stories!!! whats canon is what i say it is!!! star wars au where i ignore everything and its a whole different story!!!

[cocokoby]

Isn't this just 315

[waitingforsecretsouls]

[lordofthesillystraws]

18 hours of this guy. i can never get enough.

[rippeanuts1950-2000]

time to share my favorite parts of the new chapter of the murder drones summer camp au im writing. nuzi is the main ship btw:

and here’s the fic itself, got two chapters up already

[purplecladmerchant]

I don't need you to be different... I don't need you at all.

[ehatnow]

what up homeslice i posted art again

[gingermintpepper]

hi I love your tags so so much! they were so sweet and so interesting and creative and the whole Aphrodite type of beauty thing sounds really interesting do you have any articles and recommendations to read further into it??

-hogoflight

Hello my fine feathered (I am assuming possession of feathers if you are, indeed, capable of flight) @hogoflight! I'm always always happy to hear that people appreciate my frenzied rambling in the tags :D! I have a lot of articles and recommendations :D!! Ancient Greek notions of beauty and representations of it in their art and sculptures is a pretty well studied topic! There isn't any way for us now to know definitively what the beauty standard was (it varied widely from region to region and culture to culture after all) but here are a couple of my favourite reads about Aphrodite and what her representations tell us about idealised beauty!

Probably the most empirically extensive one I can list is Krönström's thesis which compares statues of Aphrodite and literary text referring to both the goddess and mortal women to determine physical ideals for women in five specific eras of Grecian antiquity. Including measurements of the statues there are many descriptions of Aphrodite as 'curvy' with a 'voluptuous figure' and with 'ample buttocks and bosom'.

"When the beauty traits are described in the texts, they are never extreme or anything that could not be found in normal people just that they are more beautiful in every aspect. Furthermore, the sculptures’ physical forms look healthy, they are tall and have distinct curves. Great examples of this are the Knida sculpture and de Milo (the Melian) sculpture."

Of course, these images are still idealised, and there was still a concept such as 'too fat' or 'too skinny' found in written records (and this thesis even includes analysis of pornographic writings and descriptions of the fashion and stylings of pubic hair of women from different regions!!) but from an interpretational standpoint? There is absolutely no reason why these can't refer to a fuller figure. Height was also a very important factor after all and over the course of many eras, it seems like being well proportioned in addition to the length and appearance of one's hair were the most important factors (and, like Apollo, greater beauty was given to those with curlier hair)

Mireille M. Lee's 'Other Ways of Seeing' essay which talks about the forgotten female viewers of Knidian Aphrodite which is also extremely illuminating on how Aphroditic sexuality and sensuality was perceived totally differently from the well documented male voyeuristic gaze (which was overly preoccupied with the statue's nakedness and therefore over-sensationalised the statue's physical appearance) vs women's perspective on the statue which is more centered on the beauty of simplicity in Aphrodite's garment and decoration and in her power and ability to captivate both in her finery and without it. I think it's especially useful in exploring the importance of finery, jewellry and adornment in representations of Aphroditic beauty.

"Some of the small-scale copies are heavily jeweled, especially those from the eastern Mediterranean, for example the Hellenistic gilded terracotta statuette in the Çanakkale Museum (Fig. 5) in which the goddess wears, in addition to the armband on her (right) arm, the following: a necklace with multiple pendants; cross-bands extending over both shoulders and hips, with a cascading pendant in the center; a coiled snake armband on the left arm and another snake on her left thigh, and a twisted anklet on her right leg. (The left leg has been restored, and might also have featured an anklet.)"

"Jewelry is especially associated with Aphrodite in Greek literature. As seen above, in the Homeric Hymn to Aphrodite, the goddess adorns herself with gold jewelry, dress-pins, and earrings in the shape of flowers (162–3)..."

Finally, and to me, the most important one in the argument for an interpretation of Hyacinthus as fat, beautiful and fundamentally Aphroditic comes from Brilmayer's brilliant brilliant thesis done on Aphrodite's work and influence in Archaic Greek Poetry which does away with all of that masculine preoccupation with physical proportion, measurement and bodily ideals for a focus on a Sapphic Aphroditic ideal centered in clothing, ornamentation and, most importantly cunning as symbols of Aphrodite and ultimately a feminine idealised form of beauty. This paper also discusses Pandora and Helen in these terms and it is just kind of a wonderful read tbh.

"Combining Homeric and Hesiodic elements with her own ideas, she [Sappho] alters the way female beauty is viewed. For example, the Homeric war chariot – a symbol of male, military prowess - comes to symbolise the totality of Aphrodite’s power uniting in itself male and female qualities. Having addressed the concept of beauty directly, Sappho then concludes that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. With the help of Helen of Troy and her beloved Anaktoria, Sappho sets out to reinvent the concept of female beauty as a godlike, subjective quality that may be expressed in many ways, yet remains inspired by Aphrodite."

The conclusion to all of this of course is that Aphroditic ideal beauty is much more fluid compared to its stricter Apolline masculine standard. The nuances and understandings of both are of course, constantly being studied, analysed and scrutinised but really, if Dionysus who was both bearded and clean shorn, effeminate, birthed and rebirthed (and twice gestated!) and strongly associated with vegetation can be popularly portrayed as fat and handsome, why can't Hyacinthus?!

[drawingwithdonnie]

Artfight attack I did against @blaiddraws featuring the loveliest of worm guys :] they are playing tag and wormmet is LOSING /lh

The ghost worm au is BY FAR my favorite submas au ever so to say I was ecstatic to draw this is an understatement,, wormmet and wormgo my beloveds <3

(also if it's unclear, the "ksh-sh-sh" is laughter)

OH AND MY ARTFIGHT IS ZELDONYX!! FEEL FREE TO ATTACK ME BC I WILL ALWAYS DO REVENGE !!!!!!

[murmurmurl]

I saw someone say they wanted to boop switch Wally's nose on tiktok, so I made this!!

I love drawing him 🤲

also, I gave the y/n character some details because drawing grey naked bald ppl is boring, haha!

Author of the switch au: @wally-darling-hyperfixation !!!

Oh, and... uh...

I'm not going to explain this, I guess........

[coern]

I made these like a month ago but apparently never posted it....I think.....tumblrs search function is mesmerizing

[obstinaterixatrix]

I recently got my first office job where I am interacting with my coworkers regularly. do you have any evil conversation skills that you think i should learn first

1. Figure out the easiest/most comfortable ways to say the whole spectrum of soft no’s to hard no’s from a scale of ‘genuine regret (invites future attempts if scheduling allows)’ to ‘polite deferral (respectful and evasive, somewhat firm)’ to ‘stone-cold shut down (professional Fuck You)’; you gotta know them all and you gotta be able to deploy them as needed. or at the very least, you gotta know how to give yourself time so you don’t automatically say ‘yes’ when you don’t want to.

2. The easiest way to make a good impression on people is to balance being useful and making others feel useful, which means offering some of the specific knowledge/insight you have and also asking for/acknowledging the knowledge/insight of others. offering/asking can be a weird balance, sometimes for some people in some contexts it comes pretty naturally, other times I find myself parsing out one (1) resource bit by bit to gauge whether someone’s actually looking for it or if it’s received in a lukewarm way. If ‘useful’ can’t really be a selling point at the moment (e.g. starting with zero experience rather than having an established knowledge base in a new environment) then you can always swap out ‘useful’ for ‘interesting’. know a charm point you have that can hook other people’s interest, know how to find and highlight other people’s charm points. If you want a mutual relationship it’s better to make an effort to share equally (for some people that means intentionally holding back, for other people that means intentionally speaking more), but if you’re just trying to coast it’s usually easiest to keep turning the conversation back on them and track topics the other person can get chatty about (pets, kids, shows, how they’re doing, etc).

hang on those are too reasonable and not evil but I’ve typed it all out so I’m not deleting. so, there’s a bunch of worksheets about ‘rules for fighting fair’ and if you ever meet a coworker you fucking hate then you wanna take those rules and do the opposite of all of them in order to have an on-purpose bad faith conversation and to make it as miserable for everyone as possible

1. If the coworker you hate is trying to talk about one specific problem, disagree with whatever their definition is and refuse to compromise

2. Bring in as many stupid tangential asides as possible so their original point gets buried

3. If you want to be legit evil, always imply or directly state that whatever they’re going through is a personal problem and a Skill Issue

4. Always find a way to vaguely disagree with your coworker. If they have a good point, say ‘Well, no, it’s actually like [basically rephrasing their point]’; you can either be subtle about this (negging) or blatant about this (The Mansplainer)

5. There’s a limit to how disrespectful anyone can be as a new employee. Find that limit and keep just short of it.

6. Always deflect and blame someone else, or if there isn’t someone to blame, have different excuses at the ready for anything that anyone might take issue with.

to some, evil communication skills is to win. but I think the most successful (insufferable) application is when the point is to make everyone as miserable as possible. I’m not trapped here with you, You’re Trapped Here With Me. also I wouldn’t actually recommend doing many of these things if you want functional working relationships. but it’s good to keep in mind if you’re ready to go nuclear! but more seriously, I do think these are important evil communication skills to learn because if you recognize someone using them against you, it gives you the chance to make strategies based on their behavior. 1. If someone is disagreeing with you any time you try to express a problem, shut down the conversation and reengage with a mediator that will be fair to you; 2. if stupid tangents keep showing up, it’s up to you to be the terrier with its teeth sunk into the mailman’s leg; etc. anyway this has gone too long and someone else should probably be giving more legit advice