#Now I get why everyone is saying they hate Jimmy because what the FUCK

[jikupikus]

trans!curly / jimcurly / mdni

In all ways Curly is someone who Jimmy wants to be.

He’s kind, he’s handsome, he’s a leader, and people respect him. He knows what to say and when to say it, and others listen to him like how a dog listens to a master. Curly doesn’t even demand esteem, he just gets it, and it pisses Jimmy off.

It’s been that way for a while, and all Jimmy can do is stomach it. He doesn’t know what happened, what strings Curly had to pull, but he tugged those strings and is now sitting pretty on his pedestal looking down from his rosy spot onto the other crew members– onto Jimmy.

The worst part about it is that Curly isn’t even a man, or at least not one in the technical sense. Jimmy remembers when he was a scrawny little girl with poofy long blonde hair that his mom wouldn’t allow him to straighten or cut. He remembers Curly’s braces, and how he would mispronounce words and stumble over his sentences. He remembers the skirts he had to wear because he wasn’t allowed to wear pants, or anything “revealing” for that matter that wasn’t what his stuffy fucking Pentecostal parents approved of.

They met at a church that Jimmy didn’t attend with a chain link fence surrounding the perimeter overlooking a busted white trash trailer park. His mom used to talk shit about that church and how fake everyone is, how they will say “bless your heart” to her when she was on the front porch hitting the glass pipe right before CPS showed up in Jimmy’s front lawn with a nosy cop the next day.

“Remember when my mom used to have a nasty meth addiction and get so addled that she’d accuse us of stealing her spoons?” Jimmy says off handedly one day in the cockpit.

“I don’t think she liked me much,” Curly muses, brow puckering. “Then again I don’t think she liked anyone.”

Jimmy leans over in his chair, his brows creeping up his forehead. “No, she didn’t. I think the meth fried her brain,” he says. “The only time she didn’t do meth was when she was pregnant with me.”

Curly looks over, a smirk playing on his lips. “What did she do instead?”

Jimmy’s face fell, but he played it off. Curly didn’t mean anything by it, maybe. He definitely did, actually. Jimmy crosses his arms, affronted. So much for playing it off.

Sometimes Jimmy’s emotions got the better of him like now, but he can’t help the visceral annoyance that creeps up in him like an invasive vine.

“You fucker,” Jimmy spits. “She wasn’t clean, as you know. I don’t know why you had to go there, but heroin.”

Curly’s eyes flit over to Jimmy, expression apologetic in its own manipulative way. He hates how Curly wilts at any backlash; it’s pathetic in how he behaves like a kicked mutt at any ounce of criticism.

Maybe he’s a little too hard, maybe. Whatever, Curly can just deal with it.

“I… didn’t know. Sorry. I was just joking”–

“Shitty joke,” Jimmy states flatly. “Don’t know why we can’t have a conversation where you don’t make a comment at my expense. It’s kind of annoying.”

Curly’s mouth draws into a taut line, obviously affected by the weight of Jimmy’s words and how they land so heavily on his shoulders. He twists the knife regardless.

They’ve always been that way together, and Curly has always been too sensitive for his own good. Too appeasing, placating. He has never told Jimmy no nor has he ever defended himself. Jimmy thinks his leadership is ill-placed because even if he is well respected and people listen to him, he’s a big fucking pushover. It’s goddamned irritating.

He found that out when they were kids, when Curly forked over his sour gummies because Jimmy threatened to beat his nose in with a rock. Not once did he claim that Jimmy couldn’t hit a girl, nor did Curly ever use any method of defense. He gave up just like that.

Curly is the same now as he was then.

Jimmy sighs, arms unraveling. “Relax. I’m not mad or anything. Don’t get so worked up over something so trivial.”

Curly deflates. He drags his hand down his face, smoothing out the lines of exhaustion that creases his skin around his nose. Dark circles paint his eyes from lack of sleep, his normally bright blue gaze dull and lacking life.

“I guess I’m more sensitive than I normally am. I haven’t slept well at all since we’ve disembarked, maybe averaging one to two hours of sleep a night.” Curly explains himself to Jimmy. It’s another compulsive habit of his, one that makes Jimmy’s heart swell.

He likes that he can wiggle his fingers in the cracks of Curly’s otherwise pristine surface. Curly is riddled with small, hairline cracks, and Jimmy knows exactly how to chip away at his vulnerabilities.

Jimmy will claw his way up Curly’s pedestal and drag him down to his level.

“You need to relax, Captain,” Jimmy presses. He takes Curly’s hand off the center console, holding it in his own rough, calloused palm as his heavy lidded gaze lingers on his friend.

Curly drags his hand out of Jimmy’s grasp and stretches. “I don’t know how to relax,” he says. It isn’t a complaint, but the truth.

In all actuality, as Jimmy knows, Curly is a tightly wound ball of anxiety. During their more intimate moments when there weren’t eyes and ears trained on them, Curly has said so himself.

Only the cockpit and sleeping chambers lack cameras. Jimmy swivels his chair, now facing the door.

“I can help you relax,” Jimmy says, turning his thoughts over in his head. “If you’ll let me, that is. If you won’t shy away like you always do. If you won’t deny me like you did when we were shitty hormonal teenagers.”

Curly’s face flares pink.

[chocolix76]

Man I love this game about dental hygiene where everyone has an amazing time and nothing ever goes wrong!

There's Mouthwashing stuff all over my feed and I'm honestly so interested. What's in that mouthwash boy... /silly

[dykedvonte]

I keep seeing fanarts of ppl's OC's being on the ship, so do you think that if there was 6st crewmember (specifically, another woman) Anya would've been more safe? Like, someone to actually call Jimmy's begaviour out, someone Anya might wanna trust? Is there a possibility something might have changed (even if a little) or it would not have mattered at all?

-💀

I feel like the game would make it part of the commentary on where she would believe and help Anya but still be sort of dismissive? Like the whole “don’t waste time crying and being scared keep going and move on, don’t let him win”. It’s supposed to be positive and reinforcing but sometimes it does more damage in those times of mourning and grief, it feels patronizing, like you don’t understand what you’re going through but they do. Even if they did call out his behavior it’s still on Curly to act and while another voice would help, it’s still 4 against 2 on guys that don’t get it until they have to vs women who always have to.

I don’t mind mouthwashing OCs but I do get a bit bored as they tend to be borderline saviors or like Jimmy aligned. They are either more complicit than Curly or just Jimmy haters for no reason, outside of what the creators know about what he did to Anya. I am never irked by OCs but in a story like mouthwashing you really need to think about what your character adds to the commentary, especially if they are there during the crash. It’s nice to have like characters on Anya’s side more whole heartedly and interesting to see characters who placate Jimmy but sometimes it’s one note.

I can’t and don’t want to police peoples OCs it’s never my intention when I comment on trends I notice, but I do feel like the way people make their OCs interact with these two characters and especially Curly, really show a grave misunderstanding of the narrative and these characters as people vs roles in the story. Still, I know people just make up characters for fun and that’s fine. Great even, but I guys I’m focusing more on OCs that are supposed to have those serious dynamics. My favs tend to be pretty-Tulpar or post-Tulpar au OCs.

The inevitably of the crash is on Jimmy. He did that not because he wasn’t stopped but because all his means to kill Anya were taken. The gun, the axe. Even if Curly did strip him of his co-pilot privileges and try to keep him contained there’s only so many people. An extra body helps but they have jobs they have to do, he’s the only one steering the whole ship and Jimmy would likely have an out: food, bathroom, etc. He’s not new and if he couldn’t crash the ship directly, who’s to say he wouldn’t sabotage something else? A clunker like the Tulpar wouldn’t take much. An extra person helps but it’s just another thing that prolongs what a person like Jimmy is willing to do to shirk responsibility.

It’s more than just needing someone to stand up to him and think that’s what is missing when it comes to inserting a character into the mouthwashing setting.

[bullet-prooflove]

Good People: Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Reader

Tagging: @kmc1989 @wabi-sabi1090 @lostinwonderland314 @turtle-cant-communicate @fallout-girl219

Takes place after:

The Farm - Carmy recalls the day you met.

Prequel to:

Pears - It starts when Carmy makes an order he doesn't remember.

Mornings - Carmy sleeps better with you around.

Bubble - You have no idea that you saved Carmy's life.

Crazy, Stupid, Fucked Up World (NSFW) - Carmy tells you he lvoes you for the first time.

Everyone knows that Carmy has a thing for the farm girl. It’s the way his attention shifts when your name is mentioned, the fact it’s him signs for the orders and no one else. They watch as he asks about your day and raise their eyebrows when he stands there and actually listens.

“You may as well be giving her fuck me eyes.” Richie says as he tries to wrestle The Beef t-shirt onto an inflatable hotdog in Jimmy’s backyard.

The two of them are setting up for that ridiculous kid’s party, hoping to knock a couple of grand off the debt Mikey owed him.

“I don’t have fuck me eyes.” Carmy mutters, focusing on slicing the oranges for the homemade Ectoplasm he’s made because Unc’s kid is nuts about Ghostbusters.

“Oh you do. You fucking do.” Richie argues as he pulls out the duct tape. “It’s probably the reason we’re getting such a discount, she likes the way you shake that pasty white ass underneath that little apron of yours.”

“You’re a fucking asshole.” He snaps at Richie, launching a piece of fruit at the back of  Richie’s head. It smacks him right on the dome and the other man turns to face him furious.

“What the fuck is with you?” Richie retorts, throwing it back. “Last month you got the shit kicked out of you by a guy dressed like a carrot, now you’re whoring yourself out for cucumbers. You’ve got issues man, big ones.”

Carmen really has nothing to say to that because honestly if he had to whore himself out to keep this business going, he probably fucking would. That’s exactly where his self-respect is right now, rock fucking bottom. It’s the reason he’s out here in the fucking suburbs slinging gourmet hot dogs for little monsters have no fucking clue how the real world works.

“I hate you.” He tells Richie as he throws himself back into his work the same way he always does. “I fucking hate you.”

It’s an hour later that Richie does the uncharacteristic thing and apologizes. Carmy thinks it’s probably got something to do with the Xanex he took about an hour ago.

“I shouldn’t have said that about Alice.” Richie says, rubbing his palm over the back of his neck. “She’s good people.”  

“Yea she is.” Carmy responds as he starts to make up another hotdog. “She’s helping us out in a bind because she’s a good person. It’s got nothing to do with my ass.”

Richie tilts his head from side to side as he pulls the bottle of Xanax out of his coat pocket and spills another tablet into his palm.

“It’s a little to do with your ass.” Richie tells him as he takes the pill, washing it down with a cup of Ecto.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Carmy asks as he puts the finishing touches on his masterpiece.

“It means for some fucked up reason she likes you.” Richie responds, shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t know why, you’re basically a fucking mop with eyes but she does and you should really do something about that.”

“Like what Richie?” Carmy retorts, turning to face him, his hands coming to rest on his hips. “I run a sandwich shop that’s failing so badly I had to pay for our meat order with change out the arcade machine thirty days ago, I’ve got jack shit to offer anyone right now.”

“I’m just saying you deserve to be happy.” Richie says as he leans back against the fold up table, the tension in his shoulders relaxing. “Mikey would have wanted you to be happy.”

Carmy doesn’t know what Mikey would have wanted because Mikey, he’s not hear to tell him.

“That second Xanex just kicked in didn’t it?” Carmy remarks, changing the subject and Richie exhales, nodding his head.

“Oh yea, big time. I don’t feel a fucking thing.”

It’s on the way home, that Carmy starts to think about what Richie said, about you, about being happy.

Sitting in those fields at your farm on his days off, shooting the shit with you. It’s the closest thing to contentment he’s felt in years. If he was a better man, someone less mentally ill, he’d consider pursuing it but honestly he’s a fucking mess. He wouldn’t wish himself on any woman especially you.

“You’re punking out aren’t you?” Richie says from the passenger seat as he watches the world go by outside.

“No.” Carmy says, his grip tightening on the steering wheel. “She just deserves better than an asshole like me.”

Love Carmy? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[watarfallar]

*throws this at you and escapes out the window of a ten story building*

Ren: What are you two arguing about this time? Grian: They’re always using common phrases incorrectly! Martyn: Cry me a table, Grian.

Mumbo: Which country has the most birds? Mumbo: Portu-geese! BigB: That's a language. Mumbo: Portu-gull? BigB: Good recovery. Lizzie: I think you mean good re-dovery. Grian: TURKEY. HOW DID WE MISS TURKEY?

Bdubs: So the other day I sent Joel out to get us some gas. Bdubs: And instead of getting gas, they got us novelty cookie cutters. Bdubs: Now everything we eat is shaped like a dinosaur. Bdubs: … Bdubs: I love them so much.

Cleo: When I said bring me something back from the beach I meant like a conch shell! Joel: *Struggling to hold a seagull* Fucking say that next time!

Martyn: What do you want then? Cleo: Er… something work related. Martyn: What department is this? Cleo: Sorry? Martyn: Well, if it’s work related you’d obviously know what department this is. What department is this? Cleo: *looks at Joel and Etho* Some sort of homosexual department? (<- bro this one is too perfect lmao)

Skizz: I can never give Bdubs shit because I’m jealous of them. They look at their life and say, “Sweet! This is perfect!” Skizz: I look at my life and say, “Welp. Time to get drunk.”

Pearl, to The Squad: You should change your passwords to “incorrect”. Then, every time you forget it, the system will remind you, “your password is incorrect”.

Scott: Well, Joel, is there anything you would like to say to Etho? Joel: How do I put this delicately? You’re a horrible roommate and nobody likes you. Scott: How about we frame our statement with “When you do this, it makes me feel this”? Joel: When you live here, it makes me angry. Because you’re a horrible roommate and nobody likes you.

Jimmy: As usual, Jimmy has to save the day! Tango: As usual, Tango has to hear about it.

Ren: If I ever had a child, I imagine they would be a lot like you. Gem: Aww, thanks— Ren: Which is probably why I’ve never reproduced.

Mumbo: Don’t mansplain this to me! Gem: Wh- I’m a woman! I can't mansplain anything to you! Mumbo: …Well, I’m a feminist, and I believe a woman can do anything a man does!

Scar: “Struggle with depression” would seem to imply that I am bad at being depressed when I am, in fact, very proficient at being depressed.

Impulse, looking at their watch: It has been 2 hours and sixteen minutes since I’ve been insulted. Impulse: It’s been about 5 seconds since I’ve been assaulted, but let’s not talk about that.

Skizz: *mixing different alcoholic beverages together* Scar: What are you making? Skizz: A mistake.

Impulse: Some of us are still ‘it’ from a childhood game of tag. Lizzie: Way to just fuck me up on a Tuesday.

Martyn: Joel taught me to think before I act. Martyn: ...So if I smack the shit out of you, rest assured that I thought about it and am confident in my decision.

Scott: Assert your dominance over your friends by kicking them in the face, and then giving them a little smooch on the forehead!

Grian: Have you heard of Murphy’s law? The one where if something can go wrong, it will go wrong? BigB: Yeah, I have. Grian: Have you heard of Cole’s law? BigB: Is this a joke about coleslaw? Grian: …maybe.

Pearl: I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

Grian: *walks into the room* Lizzie: They’re covered in blood again. Why is it they’re always covered in blood? Pearl: Well, it looks like it’s their own blood this time.

Bdubs: As a responsible adult- Scott: *chuckles* Bdubs: … As a responsible adult—

Cleo: Fun Fact! The average person will walk by 36 murderers in their lifetime. Martyn: I like how this is a "fun" fact. Etho: It's fun because they didn't decide to murder you.

*crawls back into the room after jumping out of the window and dragging myself up ten flights of stairs*

HOPE YOU ENJOYED!

[dookiecurly]

this is gonna be specific just hear me out okay this came to me in a vision +good for writing motivation or practice or whatever

imagine reader is some famous celebrity singer actor whatever and they go on the ship for whatever reason..maybe they really like space or something idk

how would they all act towards them?? would the way theyre treated get changed from their popularity?? 😳😳😳…?i cant imagine jimmy or curly acting too different towards them but daisuke maybe?? hes a fan idk im just thinking…

I'd imagine reader got on the ship because they wanted to experience space.... And because they paid lots for it.

Both before and after crash hc >∆<

Reader death not specified

Yes there's Jimmy, he's the tw

Curly

Before-Crash:

- Confused why Pony Express gave this.. celebrity.. permission to get on a cargo spaceship.

- Tries to be nice. He doesn't act like those ppl that are super excited to meet a popular person. To him, you're just another human.

- But of course, if you make a mistake on the ship he'll go a little easy on you. He assumes you probably didn't get much.. training.

- You're his responsibility as well now! But he also is probably too busy to give you a tour of the ship, he'll ask one of the others. ( Definitely not Jimmy or Swansea. )

- If he's interested in you..... I guess, small flirts when he's off the clock. He takes responsibility!

- Compliments your work if he's a fan.

After-Crash:

- Curly feels embarrassed, and even more embarrassed if he's interested in you.

- At some point, thinks you'll come back to earth and tell everyone what happened and how bad he is at being a captain. Plus, destroying Pony Express's name that MIGHT land a lawsuit.

- During all the........ Deaths, he felt bad that a person that shouldn't even be connected to all this is paying the untold price of going on the ship with them

- Probably wanted to kill himself when he was brought to the table and saw all those corpses!!

Swansea

Before-Crash:

- Doesn't give a shit

- Probably treats you JUST like Daisuke but is a little less aggressive..

- Actually, I think he thinks you're a liability and dislikes you because you're just a rich piece of shit that thinks they can do wtv they want

- Might MIGHT complain and say that you're a liability when something bad happens

- If he's interested in you, you probably remind him of his wife by appearance LMFAO, I'm just kidding I'm not funny.

- If he's interested in you, he'll treat you a little nicer.

- I don't think he'll be a fan..... Unless you're like, Shelly Duval or Frank Sinatra or something. (RIP SHELLY DUVAL AND FRANK SINTRA I LOVE YALL)

- Won't say he's a fan though.

After-Crash:

- I have a gut feeling that he'll act like those drunk adults that go like, “Isn't this how you teenagers do it? WOO!" But like in a "Aint this how you people do it in Hollywood?”

- Says you should get less food because you dont do work around the ship. Won't say this if... He's interested, or only if he's drunk and mad or mad.

- If you die before him, he'll feel a little guilty like he does with Daisuke. I don't know if it's a lot of guilt, but enough guilt.

Daisuke

Before-Crash:

- FUCKING ECSTATIC.

- Wants a picture, and a signature. Treats you special because you're a celebrity.

- Uses his free time to be your friend. If he's interested in you, hes gonna try to impress you with his intern task (Swansea fucking hates it).

- Brings you to fuck around in the ship because I'll assume that you're about the same age, or you at least have the same age mentality.

- If he's a fan, he's way worse/better. Your decision.

After-Crash:

- Once again, if hes interested in you, he tries to be your big prince charming. When they start rationing the food, he gives you more

- I don't know if he'll prioritise you because you're a celebrity, but he tries.

- Tries to cheer you up when things get bad

- If you die before him, he kinda just............ Guilt. Yeah, thats all. Kinda feels like he didn't help enough.

Jimmy

Before-Crash:

- Thinks you're a liability 2.0

- Doesn't respect you

- Thinks you're a bitch because your life is better than his on Earth

- Probably.... JUST PROBABLY, daydreams about doing things to you so he can 'humble' you. Likes the thought of such a loved and respected person gets humiliated.

- If he's interested in you.... He'll have worse thoughts.

- Probably complains about you, in front of you.

- Not a fan, doesn't like the internet.

After-Crash:

- Now thinks youre... Still the biggest liability of the ship. In fact, you're the worst of the worst.

- Says you should get less food because you don't do any work 2.0

- If you die before him... Awesome! Doesn't care. Won't spare you even if hes interested, but cares.

- Gets married to your corpse, AGAIN I'M KIDDING. Doesn't strike me as a person who'd get married unless it benefits him, actually nevermind, go read Jambalaya Enthusiast's fic about Reader in the film industry in Jambalaya Enthusiast's Masterlist.

Anya

Before-Crash:

- Might be curious?

- She'll be nice >u<

- Yeah, she's probably the one giving you a tour!

- Anya will be a little concerned that a person like you is on the ship. In a way that she's concerned that a person who doesn't have any training is on the ship.

- She'll be glad to help you with anything, like motion sickness.

- If she's interested, she'll try to do little gestures for you. I think her love language is acts of something something, I forgot.

After-Crash:

- Anya doesn't really want you to come into the medbay and look at Curly.

- She gets super nauseous, so she doesn't want you to get super nauseous in an unfamiliar and stressing environment.

- Perhaps will give you a little of her food with you. I feel like Jimmy has engraved into her brain that she's not a good enough nurse, so she thinks she doesn't deserve the food she eats ( because Swansea and Jimmy say you don't deserve the food. )

- Comfort her, she's dying in her thoughts and wants to go to the medicine supply.......

- If you die before her, she will actually start spiralling.

[purplecoffee13]

The Fake Girlfriend - pt. 3*

Summary: “Y/N finds out the complicated truth about the reason for her role as fake-girlfriend, and gets a bit possessive over Harry.”

Wc: 4.2k

Tropes: semi-enemies-to-lovers (she hates him)

Warnings: possessiveness (mostly from her), oral (m!receiving), cursing, dirty talk, sexual tension THROUGH THE ROOF, angst and insecurities

The next morning, I awake by the sunlight beaming through the window and right onto my face. I open my eyes, my body more relaxed than it has been in weeks, and my lips can't help but form into a lazy smile at thinking of the reason why.

However, the reason why isn't here.

A small frown creases my forehead, especially because I'm not hearing any noise from the bathroom. I lean towards Harry's side of the bed, and spot a note on his nightstand.

'Fulfilling groomsmen duties.

Breakfast is on the dresser.

Catch you later, H.'

Though it was sweet of him to leave a note, and to let me sleep in and leave me breakfast, my heart still churns at the idea that I won't see him until the afternoon. I had hoped we could talk about whatever the fuck happened yesterday, but I guess it will have to wait.

My heart flutters though, as I munch down my breakfast before hopping in the shower. Since I slept in, I have to hurry a little bit if I want to be ready in time.

Luckily I have my hair and make-up done in time, and I manage to strategically shimmy into my dress without ruining any of it. I send a silent prayer as I put on my heels, hoping the blisters will not form until after the ceremony.

After checking the itinerary, I start to make my way to the garden where the ceremony is to be held. Upon exiting our room, I run into a hard body which manages to catch before I fall onto the ground.

"I'm so sorry, are you okay?" Matthew spits out as he helps me balance myself out again. I nod at him, smoothing my dress and taking a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, I should've watched where I was going." I awkwardly smile at him. He waves it off, and extends his arm to me.

"Need an escort to the garden?" He asks with a genuine smile. I hesitate for a moment, but from his body language, I gather that he got Harry's message from yesterday.

"That would be great."

We begin to walk and I immediately spot other people going the same way as us, easing my anxiety about getting there too early.

"Where is Harry?" Matthew brings me back into the moment after momentarily getting caught up in my thoughts.

"Uhm— groomsmen duties, he said." I answer, and Matthew hums. We walk down some stairs that are needed to take in order to reach the garden.

"You're not a groomsman?" Maybe it was a little too intrusive, but it was too late to take it back now. Matthew shook his head.

"Jimmy and Harry were in a football team together since they were little. It's how our Rosa met him. Jimmy and Rosa kind of see Harry as the reason why they got together, so even though they are not as close as they used to be, Jimmy made him a groomsmen." He explains, and I nod my head. That's an interesting part of his family history I did not yet know, and it makes me wonder. Maybe Matthew knows about the girl Harry's family wants to set him up with, the reason I’m here.

"What's with that frown?" Matthew goes to stand in front of me and lowers himself down to my height. I widen my eyes at him and force an exaggerated smile.

"Nothing, nothing..." I chuckle, shaking my head. He raises his eyebrows, not believing me one bit, but laughing along anyway.

"Let's go sit." He says, and leads us to the assigned seats, secretly rearranging them so we can sit next to each other. I laugh at his inability to be subtle, but he manages to pull it off nonetheless. We sit down, and I take in the garden and its beauty. Slowly, I spot the people who are here, and it dawns on me; everyone is very beautiful, especially the girls.

I spot a lengthy blonde in a baby pink dress, chatting with two brunettes whose dresses look like they were picked out from a runway. My brows crease at the sight of everyone's perfect hair, and I find myself smoothing out my own, which seems like a poor excuse for a head of hair now. My heart begins to beat faster and— oh my god I'm going crazy.

"Matthew." I say his name, sounding a bit more urging than I wanted to. His head shoots towards mine.

"Yeah?" He asks softly, a bit of concern evident on his face.

"Uhm… Harry– well, he told me about this girl–"

"Ophelia?"

Ophelia? That's her name?! If that is her actual name then I can't imagine what she looks like. Probably as ethereal as her name.

"I don't know, he never gave a name. But, he said she was going to be here." I tell him, and he hums. I wait to see if he's going to give me any information, but he doesn't say anything. "What– um, what do you know about her?"

My attempt at casualness falters with the stutter of my voice. Matthew lets out a breathy laugh at my nervous question, and is quick to stroke my arm.

"You have nothing to worry about, Y/N." He tries to assure me, and I give him a quick nod.

"I know, I know... I was just wondering, that's all." I turn my body away from Matthew, realizing how pathetic I was beginning to sound.

So what, Harry gave me an amazing orgasm and I think I'm developing a crush on him? I lost my best friend because of him. Well, I guess she was always a bit mean in hindsight, but still. Just because he was nice yesterday, doesn’t mean I should be acting like this.

"Ophelia's mom is good friends with Harry's mom, so they've known each other since middle school.” Matthew suddenly speaks up, and I can feel the blood rise to my cheeks. “They dated for about two years, went to prom together and everything, but they broke up when they graduated."

They dated..?

"Ophelia got a new boyfriend not long after the break-up. They got engaged and everything, but the guy cheated on her so they broke off the engagement like six months ago. Since then, Harry's mom has been forcing him to reconcile with Ophelia, but he was actively opposed to it. Sheila wouldn't let it go though, and usually Harry doesn't mind doing his mom a favor, but this time he was really against it. Now we know why." He smiles at me, like I should be glad with the end of this story.

He dated her for two whole years. They went to prom together, they've known each other since middle school, and his mom is a fan of hers. She wants her son to end up with that girl. I stand absolutely no chance. There is way too much history there. I could never stand above anything like that, ever. God, I hate that. Why do I hate that so much?

My eyes refuse to meet Matthew, but I give him a sad excuse for a smile anyway, to make it seem like he didn't just unintentionally put a serious damper on my mood.

Then, the music starts, and the ceremony begins. I didn't even notice the groom and his men standing by the altar already, but when I look, I catch Harry's eyes on me. He looks confused, or rather concerned. His brows are deeply creased.

I tear my eyes off of him when the bridesmaids walk in, and I immediate know, I immediately feel who Ophelia is.

Gorgeous, long blonde hair with sparkling green eyes and a smile that every Hollywood celebrity pays a good amount of money for. Her petite figure makes me feel immensely big and I hate myself for comparing myself to someone who could not look more different from me. She is stunning and I understand why everyone is so enamored with her. I'm sure she's very nice too.

I know my insecurities are not her fault, but damn do I feel vulnerable when I catch her staring at Harry. My gaze flies towards my fake boyfriend, but it seems that he is still looking at me. I throw him a smile and give a thumbs up, but I only receive a weak, half-smirk in return.

The ceremony seems to last forever, yet I don't catch everything of it. I'm met with a constant pit in my stomach that needs to be flushed away with a glass of wine. I need to get my shit together, and then put it aside, at least until this trip is over. I can figure out my intricate feelings when we're back on the campus, but until that time, I need to play the part and I need to play it well. If anything I should be lucky it isn't as difficult as it was a few weeks ago.

After the bride and groom have gone off to take pictures together, we are all given a glass of champagne. I gladly take one and clink my glass with that of Matthew as we talk about the ceremony and the wedding vows. Harry has disappeared once again, along with the other groomsmen and bridesmaids, so I guess I won't see him until dinner.

I chat a bit with Harry's parents, and Matthew introduces me to some friends of Jimmy's. They're all very nice, some them a bit too flirtatious, but it takes my mind off the Ophelia of it all.

About ten minutes have passed and we make it to the dining hall, where Matthew and I are separated, not before he escorts me to my table of course. My table is very close to that of Rosa and Jimmy, who have seated all of their bridesmaids and groomsmen together.

I sit down and am tapped on my shoulder by Quinten, one of Jimmy's friends who Matthew just introduced me to, and who is sitting at the table behind me. I turn around and begin to chat the time away with him. So much, that I don't notice someone standing besides us until he coughs awkwardly to get our attention.

When I look up at Harry, my mouth falls open a little bit. He looks criminally beautiful in his suit, and his jawline looks to prominent from this angle. I suck in a deep breath at the realization that I had temporarily stopped breathing altogether, and all of my insecurities and blues are washed away by the need to drag him to the nearest bathroom.

"Hi." I manage to let out, a sheepish smile on my face. Harry doesn't look very amused, hands still in his pockets, as his eyes dart from me to Quinten.

"Hey man." Quinten says, but he gets nothing more than a murmured 'hey' from Harry before he tugs on my arm, pulling me out of my chair and into his embrace, where his nose buries into my neck and I feel him taking in my scent. He leaves a couple of kisses there before pulling his head back to look at me.

"You... are breathtaking." He slowly says, staring into my eyes. My cheeks burn at the flattery, but it's impossible to look away from him. My mind is dizzy from his hands — one on the small on my back and the other one on my waist —, and I am feeling too many things at the same time.

I'm still frustrated with him for throwing me into the lion's den without properly telling me what I was getting myself into, I'm giddy because he is too pretty and his eyes glisten in this light, but most of all I'm horny and I want him right now. Ophelia may have him when all of this is over, but for the remainder of this trip he is still mine.

"And you are a shit excuse for a fake boyfriend." I tell him, and look to the side with my nose high up in the air. He raises his brows, clearly taken aback by my response. He doesn't lose his playfulness, though; a wide grin on his face as he lowers his head until the heat of his breath reaches my ear.

"Didn't you read my note?" He asks lowly, before planting a kiss on my ear.

"I did, but it didn't include you saying I wouldn't see you the entire day." I sputter, crossing my arms together. He pulls back with a wary smile.

"Did you miss me today, love?" He asks. I don't initially respond, because I did miss him and that reality is too terrifying to confess.

"So, you and Ophelia dated, huh?" I change the topic, deciding that I might as well throw it on the table. Just so he knows, that I know. "You know, you could've told me this is about making someone jealous."

I purposefully imply something there, solely to see if it's true. Harry's face falters for just a second, and I ask myself whether I even want him to answer this question.

"Y/N, it's–"

"I'm just saying," I cut him off and take a step closer to him, because I, in fact, do not want to know his answer. "If I would've known, I would've played my part better. But I'll be good for you tonight."

"Y/N..." he sounds almost whiny, and that sounds a bit too good to me to stop.

"I promise I'll be a good fake girlfriend, alright?" I smile at him, my arm snaking around his neck. He swallows, then gives me a firm nod.

***

Dinner is excruciating. Harry and I are leaned towards each other the entire time, trying to sit as close to each other as we can. He keeps his hand firmly on my thigh, and in between courses it sneaks to the back of my neck, doodling traces on my skin with his fingertips.

We exchange our so-called love story with everyone at the table and all of them assure me that they have never seen Harry so in love before. I laugh when I turn my head to him and he says it's true. Partly because I know it isn't, and partly because I find it hilarious how a part of me almost believe it to be true anyway.

After dinner, everyone scatters a bit around the room, and the dance floor gets cleared up for the first dance. I don't miss the perfect girl from the past that starts nearing our now empty table, and neither does Harry.

Ophelia awkwardly waves at the both of us; Harry waves back but I only give her a half-smile.

"Can I talk to you for a bit?" She asks Harry hesitantly, and I can't help but fight the smile at the audacity of this girl. But then again, they've known each other for a long time, so technically I am just a temporary nuisance to her.

Harry's head shoots towards me. He doesn't want to be left alone with her, it seems, but I don't make a scene like he secretly wants me to. His green eyes bore into mine and I resent him for a moment just for how pretty he is. I really don't want his eyes on Ophelia, but it is inevitable. A bold thought enters my mind.

I kiss him, just a soft kiss that lasts no more than a few seconds. When I pull back, my mouth travels to his ear and I trace his jawline with my fingertip on the other side of his face as I whisper into his ear.

"I just want you to picture me on my knees in front of you, returning your favor from yesterday, while you talk to her. Something to look forward to after your little conversation with her, hmm?"

Harry doesn't have time to respond because I have already stood up and started walking towards the bar by the time I finished my sentence.

As I wait for the drinks I ordered, I run into two other guys Matthew introduced me to. Robert and Simon, if I remember correctly.

"Getting drinks?" Simon rhetorically asks, pushing some of his blonde hair away from his face, and I raise my glass at him to answer his question. The two chuckle at me.

"Yes, what about you guys?"

"We're just wondering why a woman like you is getting drinks for herself at the bar." Robert smirks, and I playfully roll my eyes. Just at that moment, the bartender sets down Harry's drink in front of me.

"For myself and my date." I correct them with a smile, but they don't seem intimidated by the fact that I am here with someone.

"Shitty date." Simon quips.

"Yeah, you deserve better than that." Robert says, brown eyes full with empty confidence. He earns a supportive nod from his friend.

"Are you guys implying that I can't get my own drinks?" I reiterate, catching them a bit off guard. I can tell they have no idea what to say, they're confused by the contradiction of my supposed sweet smile and my sneering words. As if it was meant to be, I feel a hand on the small of my back.

"Sorry gentlemen, I'm taking back my girlfriend for a minute." Harry's voice suddenly sounds from beside me, and his hand press against me more, urging me to walk with him. I wave goodbye to Robert and Simon and follow him along as he walks — rather fast — towards the exit of the dining hall.

He takes me to a door and opens it, revealing a pitch black room. I frown at it, but hurry in anyway when he grits 'get in' through his teeth. I flinch when he turns on the light and reveals the broom closet we are currently finding ourselves in.

I am about to criticize the harsh lighting of the room, when all of a sudden Harry grabs my waist, turns me around and plants his lips on mine with a need I thought only I was feeling.

I stumble back a bit but he snakes his entire arm around my waist and pulls me into him, turning us around and then backing me up against the door. After a while of making out, he begins to move his lips from jawline to my neck, and lower...

I pant as he assaults my skin by sucking, kissing and biting every part of it. I whimper at the sensation of his skin against mine and close my eyes to enjoy it most optimally.

"You drive me insane, do you know that?" He growls into my neck, and I moan when his hand grabs one of my breasts and starts massaging it.

"No, you do." I push him off of me, and he lets go very easily. I take the opportunity to turn us around, pushing him against the door with all my strength, a few of his curls land in front of his face as his back hits the surface. I go to unzip his pants, and sink down in front of him as I pull his trousers down.

"You disappear all day..." I slowly lower his underwear down his legs, and he hisses at the sensitivity his hardened cock feels from the restraint. I know Harry's big, my ex friend told me about it, and the tent in his underpants only confirmed it for me. "And I find out you spent the entire day around your ex-girlfriend."

His cock springs out of its confinements when I finally pull his underpants all the way down, and I try not to look intimidated by the actual sight of his size. Instead, I lean forward and let some saliva slowly trickle onto the top of his cock, and spread it out with my hand. The immediate groan at the touch of my hand makes me feel things I shouldn't, so I try to ignore it and focus on making Harry come.

"Fuck, baby... I–"

"Such a bad fake boyfriend today, weren't you?" I begin to pump him, and delight in the way his breathing becomes heavier with every stroke. When he doesn't respond right away, I tighten my grip around his dick a little bit, earning a moan from him.

"Yes baby. I'm sorry, baby." He mutters, and my stomach twists in every which way at the sound of the pet name he’s given me today.

I decide that enough is enough, I won't make him wait any longer — also because I can’t wait any longer — so I take him in my mouth. He is quite big, so I have to use my hand to make up for the parts my throat isn't able to take just yet. I take my time working his cock deeper and deeper into my throat.

Making sure to keep an eye out on him, I look up at him through my eyelashes, my panties pooling as I watch Harry falling apart above me. He’s clenching his jaw hard, head leaned back against the door.

"Jesus, fuck!" He curses, out of breath from the pleasure I am giving him. That notion alone gives me a dizzying rush of power. His hand finds it way to my hair and he softly plays with it as I keep sucking him off. "Such a g–good girl, fucking hell."

I take him out of my mouth for a moment and get back to rubbing him off, a devilish smirk on my face as he succumbs almost entirely to my touch. The moans that leave his throat almost make me orgasm myself. I can’t contain the moan I let out.

"Tell me Harry, did you think of me?" I pick up the pace just a little bit more. "When you talked to her, did you imagine me like this? Bruising my knees for you?"

"Fuck— yeah baby... Always think of you." His eyes are tightly shut as he rasps out a response. I take him back into my mouth, needing his release almost as much him.

"Oh... Y/N, if you keep doing that I'm gonna come." He says when I take him as deep as I can and his dick touches the back of my throat. I am too busy controlling my breathing, and besides, I want him to come right here, right now.

"Baby, baby, fucking... hell!” He groans out and I begin to feel spurts of his hot cum launch into my throat. I meal at the feeling and the idea of his cum in my mouth and I wait until he's ridden out his high to completely remove myself from his dick.

I get up and make sure he watches me as I swallow the load he just gave me. He stares at me with big eyes, completely out of breath.

“Was it just like you imagined?” I ask with a devious smile, wiping off the remains of him from the corner of my mouth. He lets out a chuckle of disbelief, and my heart is racing at the way he is standing there, entirely defeated, but a hand on my waist anyway.

“I don’t know what I did right to deserve that.” He mutters, a joking tone to his voice, but my cheeks still heat up at the compliment. I realize, I have never taken this much pleasure out of pleasuring someone else. I’d pay serious money to have him crumble for me like that again, and because that thought scared me to death, I push it far away into the back of my head.

“Put on your pants. You’re taking me to dance.” I order him around, and he raises his brows in surprise, and leans down to put on his trousers.

“You like being in control, don’t you?” He asks as he zips his pants. A few curls have fallen to the front of his face and I don’t think I have ever seen an image that screams ‘sex’ more than that one. I shrug.

“I like seeing you fall apart for me.” I confess, because it’s true. I’ve never explicitly liked being in control, I’m a bit more submissive in that sense. But seeing him in that state of euphoria, and knowing it’s because of me… that is what I enjoyed the most.

“Do you now?” He looks up at me with a soft half-smile, and he pushes some hair from the front of my face behind my ear while pulling me into him with his other hand. I nod at him.

He stares at my face a for a bit, analyzing every feature in the comfortable silence that overtakes us. My shoulders automatically tense when his gaze, and thereby the entire energy around us, shifts from soft to almost… sad?

He fixes his posture and plants a kiss to my forehead before moving away from the door, opening it, then turning back to me.

“Dance?” I ask him almost desperately, hoping his energy will shift back.

“Drink, first.” He gives me an awkward smile, and I know there’s no going back to how it was just a few seconds ago. He saw something when he looked at me just now. I don’t know what it was, but it’s almost like it scared him. This relationship is getting too complicated, and I don’t know what I should take as the truth while we are still here.

Maybe, whatever scared him, is something I should be scared of too. Perhaps, taking a step back is the best for both of us, even though it feels like the last thing I want want to do right now.

“Drink first.” I weakly lift the corner of my mouth, and walk past him out the door…

Part 4

Link to my masterlist

[pinazee]

And down the stretch comes murder

I wanted to take this moment to highlight the adorable child actors they got- Liam James and Carlos McCullers II. They are so perfectly cast as Shawn and Gus and they do such an amazing job! Im so impressed by them 👏👏

The whole spitball incident really highlights the differences between Shawn and Gus’ ethics. Shawn feels guilty for thinking he got the wrong spitter and ruined Jimmys life while Gus actually did it and feels no remorse at all. Perhaps it’s because Jimmy tortured Gus more, but it’s also come up a few other times i believe, that Gus is not above revenge nor is always willing to do the right thing if it interferes with his safety or his own code of justice, whereas with Shawn it’s like he can’t rest until he’s made things right. This, in addition to the ways he looks out for people (helping Lassie solve a case without him knowing, helping juliet find some kids without getting paid, standing between Gus and a gun), I think is why i tend to be more drawn to Shawn. I love tender-hearted morally just characters. Im not saying he’s always riding the high horse (pun intended), simply that at the end of the day you know he’s going to do the right thing. Don’t get me wrong, i love a morally ambiguous character too, and if I’m honest Gus’s outlook is certainly more realistic, but if i had to pick a favorite, i want the reliably good and wholesome over the self-serving. Not that im saying Gus is selfish at all, but of the two Shawns more our hero, even compared to his own cop father. I think Juliet is the only one who comes closest to matching that above and beyond heroism. I think the only reason she’s a step below is because Shawn simply notices others more. Thats all. If Juliet had Shawns abilities she’d be just as on top of it as him, probably more so. Actually she might get overwhelmed by seeing it all and not being able to help everyone. I think it’d be really hard for her to ignore sometimes. Which, okay I’m going down a tangent, but do you think Shawn had to learn to shut it off sometimes or like, learn to walk away? Cause i imagine day to day Shawn’s seeing people dealing with grief, abuse, or pain and with as kind as he is, it must be hard for him to ignore. Like if you’ve ever seen Daredevil, I’m imagining a less dramatic version of that haha

Henry will take any opportunity to point out Shawns failings or try to make him feel less than. Shawn tells him he’s there for a case and instead of asking him about it, Henry goes right back into you never could be a good handicapper because you lack the patience and follow-through it takes to put the time in and research. Also, the line “i let him talk to me” just doesn’t sit right with me even if the guy did turn out to be a skeeve. This kind of stuff makes me think Shawn either learned how to respect people from his mother or refused to treat people like his father. Probably both, though i hate to give her credit for anything haha

Look at his smile when he sees Lassie feed the horse. He’s so warmly amused by him. I wasn’t a Shassie shipper originally (as i just didn’t ship ppl in ye olden days) but i think I am now. I see it guys, I get it haha

These scenes are what makes the episode for me! I love them! We get to see both Shawns interacting and how he utilizes his vast memory, taking a peak into his mind palace so to speak. Plus he literally answered that common question of if you could go back in time what would you tell your younger self? (“Think big!”) I know they never really intended for this to be like a deep scene (nor expected certain fans to overanalyze it haha) but i like how he approaches the kid version of himself with a certain degree of amusement. Like I imagine if i was seeing my young self I’d probably be rolling my eyes at my sheer stupidity, but Shawns a lot kinder to himself haha Also little Shawns line “I thought I’d be bald by 20” was fucking gold! I wish I had better words for why this works so well but all i have is that it does and its brilliant.

Nice try Psych, your Canada is showing ;)

Heres some completely irrelevant info. The difference between a dreamcicle and a creamcicle: both are orange flavored, but dreamsicles had an ice milk center while a creamsicle was ice cream. And dreamsicles are no longer made.

I like this addition to the background. Its so cute. (Sidenote: this screenshot makes it seem like Shawn is the babyfaced assassin)

P.S This is the second episode ive seen him hold this frog. That is all.

[ladyisabelsblade]

My Live Reactions to X-Men Origins: Wolverine

A text thread between me and my friend.

---

Just watched the opening sequence and it’s so fucking funny when you’re high

Dude that guy with the two guns, his sequence kind of slapped

And then the other guy punched a tank. Yo….

This Deadpool looks like an idiot with the swords but he’s still pretty funny lol

Why does he know Swahili?????

Oh no! They’re colonizers!!???

But not Wolverine, he cares about black people, that’s how you can tell he’s the good guy

Little brother, breaking cycles of abuse

JIMMY

--wolverine says racism is wrong! --have u seen his cartoon claws yet?

They didn’t look that bad but I am high so I don’t care

The action sequences aren’t half as bad as in last stand

Or at least I’m too high to notice if they are lol

WOAH SGIRT OFF

--u see a lot of hugh jackman nipples

Lumberjack Wolverine, wow

Just wow he’s wow

"Your country needs you” “I’m Canadian”

Aw, I like this girl. She’s so gonna die

What the fuck is this stupid story?

Even Logan thinks it’s stupid.

Most clumsily overt foreshadowing ever

Oop, yep she dying

--lmao --yea she lasts under 10 mins thats hilarious

Damn fucking eviscerated

Manly man scream

He ruthless

LMFAOOOO AND THEN HE GETS HIT BY A TRUCK

--relatable tbh

He’s so oiled up

Damn the dramatic irony is dramatic irony-ing

The Adamantium looks like the aftermath of a lush bath bomb

--ooooh ur not at the cartoon claws yet --he’s still all boney

Yee

LMAOOOO THEY LOOK PLASTIC

HIS ASS OUT

--ASS ASS ASS

Cover up your tits you preening slut precursor

They look so stupid just do practical effects you idiots

YES THE JACKET

WHAAAAATTTT HOW COULD YOU KILL THAT OLD LADY WTF

I should have seen that coming

EXPLOSIONS SLAY QUEEN

--who exploded things?

Everyone but Logan exploding the helicopter was slay queen

--lol this movie is such a blur for me, i love reexperiencing in real time

Oh this is the bad part

Fucking blob omg

--ah yes --and will i am

I like will I am he ain’t bad

And boxer Logan, boxer Logan is saving this scene for me

--idr him good or bad, i just remember he's will i am

He is

I laughed so hard when his name came up during the opening credits

--its a great jumpscare

Local man discovers his girlfriend was fridged for his character development

REMY LA BOU

OH NO HES HOT

--is this the first time uv seen gambit in something? like have u seen him in the cartoons or stuff?

and poker? This is like combining every old lady white woman’s wet dream together: lumberjack, boxer, poker player

No I’ve never seen the cartoons man

--by far the most loved x-man

GRABBED HIM BY THE SPINE WHAT THE DUCK

gambit slays here dude

Will I am dead

--u have the best one liners omg

I’m over an hour in and I’m really enjoying this movie, being high is really elevating my experience

--its probably greaat high ngl

It’s just like fun moment after fun moment, I don’t care if it doesn’t make sense

--its my dad's favorite hated movie --its so fun

He’s right, I can’t believe you told me this was worse than last stand

--idr last stand at all ngl

Oh, well it was really bad

My man is more okay with jumping out of a plane than flying in one

SCOTT

YOUR EYES SCOTT

sir this is an operating room you can’t be here

Damn, this is freaky, I thought Stryker was a creep in x2

KAYLAS BACK

WHAT THE FUCK

oh it’s mystique isn’t it

NO ITS NOT WHAT THE FUCK

Damn that’s cold

No, poor baby he’s so sad

They were together for 6 years damn

Yo this is so dope

This fight

--have u gotten to deadpool

Kayla, now is not the time

Not yet

--thats THE thing

I know

But here he comes

HE LOOKS SO STUPID

XAVIER MY MAN

Yo the black around the eyes thing kind of slayed tho

Damn fucking sliced his head off

Oh shit damn

Do they look out for eachother because you kind of suck ass victor

YESSSSS GAMBIT

Kayla come on don’t die

Again

HOLY SHIT STRYJER

AYO WHAT THE FUCK

girl this movies good I don’t know what you’re talking about

That was so slay Kayla

But you’re still probably dying

PROFESSOR

I LOVE YOU EVEN THIUGH YOURE BADLY CGIED

LNAO THE MUTANTS RUNNING AWAY

he don’t even remember her that’s so fucking sad dude

damn wtf tear my heart out why don’t ya

This movies cheesy but it’s hitting all the right beats

Like this is a pretty good origin story movie

Probably a horrible stand alone movie, but if I pretend like I’m watching a bunch of flashbacks stitched together it’s pretty good

Oooo two post credits scenes

LMAO TEASING A DEADPOOL COMEBAJX BUT HE NEVER DOES

--he kiinda does

In Deadpool 2?

--yea lol

Comes back just to die

--good

lol he wasn’t too bad but I think I’d have a different opinion if he was sober and there weren’t already two other great Deadpool movies

[blueishspace]

Looped Sun 18

Loop #488

Pearl: Having a tail is so weird.

Mumbo: But it's nuts! Swimming in the depths without drowning.

Pearl: Did I say it wasn't? It's just weird mate.

Grian: How does the moon make someone a mermaid?

Scar: Why wouldn't it?

Grian: You- you can't just say "why wouldn't it?" and be done with it.

Scar: Why not?

Grian: Ugghhhh.

Scott: Pearl-

Pearl: No you don't.

Scott: Pearl the condensation! The condensation Pearl.

Pearl: I hate you.

Scott: It's the condensation I'm sure.

Loop #493

Grian: Who did it!? Who stole the ruby?

Scar: Why are you looking at me? I would never! Hear me, never! I am a man of honest buisness.

Scott: Not me either. I was with you the whole time.

Jimmy: Me too! I was with you two

Pearl: Not me mate, why would I go after a ruby.

Mumbo: W-why would I? Why would anyone here? Maybe it was lost?

Tango: Yeah!

Grian: It's not lost, It was stolen...by one of you!

Grian: What were you doing two hours ago!?

Scott: I was with you.

Grian: Doing what!?!

Scott: Talking. With you.

Grian: About what!?

Scott: Just say you weren't listening to me.

Grian: ...

Tango: So?

Grian: What do you need the ruby for!?

Tango: What makes you think I took it?

Grian: Oh It's elementary my dear watson.

Tango: It's Tango actually.

Grian: ... It's a reference.

Tango: Never heard of it.

Grian: It was just- you are messing with me aren't you?

Tango: Me? No, never.

Grian: Just go.

Grian: Mumbo!

Mumbo: AH!?! You can't sneak on people like that mate!

Grian: I'm the detective, I do what I want. Now tell me, did you steal the ruby!?

Mumbo: No!

Grian: Are you sure?

Mumbo: ...yeah?

Grian: Really sure?

Mumbo: Definitely mate.

Grian: Are you sure you weren't the one that didn't not not not steal the ruby?

Mumbo: ... Uh...what?

Pearl: Hey there.

Grian: You saw me!?

Pearl: I'm not blind G. Do you want something mate?

Grian: Give me the ruby!

Pearl: Oh for fuck sake, this is what this whole thing is about? Why do you even care?

Grian: I'm the detective in this loop, It's my job to care suspect.

Pearl: ... Ok then, do that somewhere else.

Grian: Scar.

Scar: Grian!

Grian: Scar.

Scar: Grian?

Grian: Scar.

Scar: ... Grian?

Grian: I know you did it.

Scar: I'm so sorry Grian! I didn't mean to! Please forgive me!

Grian: You just give the ruby back-

Scar: Oh!! You were talking about that? Oh, I didn't steal it.

Grian:... What were you aplogizing for?

Scar: ...

Grian: Scar, what did you do?

Scar: Oh look, a wall! Bye!

Grian: Scar come back here! What did you do!?!?

Jimmy: Why am I getting interviewed last?

Grian: Because you are the last person left.

Jimmy: Is... is your reason for accusing me that everyone else said they didn't do it?

Grian: ...

Jimmy: Oh my gods, it is isn't it.

Grian: So did you do it?

Jimmy: I was literally with you and Scott!

Grian: I can't figure it out, you guys are good.

Pearl: Are you sure it wasn't just lost?

Grian: ... ... ... Yes?

Pearl: Grian.

Grian: I wanted to do a fun murder mystery ok!?

Scott: Not really a murder mystery.

Grian: A fun mystery.

Tango: I think we all knew it was just lostificated. You were the only one in denial.

Grian: A fun.

Pearl: Was it fun for anyone though?

Grian: A.

Loop #496

Grian: False king, I challenge you!

Ren: Is that so? A duel?

Grian: I challenge you at a match of 4d chess.

Ren: What-

Ren: Checkmate!

Grian: Are you sure?

Ren: Uh?

Grian: Oh you poor, poor man.

Ren: Me hand, what is he doing?

Martyn: He seems to be laughing.

Ren: I did not-

Grian: Checkmate.

Loop #497

Grian: False king, I challenge you!

Ren: Is that so? A duel?

Grian: I challenge you at a match of minigolf.

Ren: Minigolf?

Grian: 10 holes, one vs one.

Ren: You're on.

Ren: I can't believe this!

Grian: That was easy.

Ren: How have you done this.

Grian: It's because...

Ren: Yes?

Grian: I.

Ren: Yeees?

Grian: Have a secret.

Ren: What is it!?! What is the secret.

Grian: That I.

Ren: Just say it!

Grian: Am more skilled then you.

Ren: How dare you!?

Grian: Byeee!

Loop #498

Grian: False king, I challenge you!

Ren: Is that so? A duel?

Grian: I challenge you to a game.

Ren: What game?

Grian: Have you ever heard of tetris?

Ren: I yield! I yield!

Grian: Oh come on that wasn't that bad.

Ren: You almost crushed me!?

Grian: Nothing bad.

Ren: I could have died!

Grian: Sounds like a you problem.

Ren: Hiw was that fair?

Grian: Skill issue.

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[iriswestallenn]

This season was a mess

Season 1: My brother took his life and has left me his restaurant. Do I deserve this? Do I take this on? How do I navigate this grief?

Season 2: We found a shit ton of money plus uncle Jimmy is lending us more. We decide to tear down the beef and build The Bear. There is a deadline, we need to get it together, and we need to make this deadline.

Season 3: ...???? The restaurant is up and running. They are digging a bigger hole for themselves. Jimmy is broke now? Carmy is hung up on Claire. Everyone keeps bringing up Claire. Carmy and Syd have zero communication. They barely speak. Not even as friends- keep that. AS BUSINESS PARTNERS. Not once does Carmy ask why Syd hasn't signed the fucking contract that HE brought up to her. This season started off strong but wow wtf happened.

I wanna focus on two examples that I think illustrate how off this season was: I loved the standalone episodes. I cried during the Nat and Donna one. They were wonderful episodes that did not tie back into the plot because there was none. Season 2 we have a Marcus standalone right? Why did that one work whereas I feel these two didn't? (Again, I really enjoyed these episodes. This is about nothing flowing well) Because Marcus was sent to Copenhagen to become a better pastry chef. He was a cook in a sandwich place who did desserts on the side! He traveled to learn from Luca so The Bear could have a pastry chef. Woo! It all ties in.

Next, a flashback in S2 that worked. The Christmas episode. We meet their mom, Carmy brings up the restaurant idea to Mikey. We see Mikey's state of mind, we get background on Sugar's nickname/how she got it. We see how the family treats Carmy. We get a bunch of them asking Carmy if he's gonna ask Claire out. We get Richie and Tiff still together in contrast to present day Richie dealing with his ex getting a fiancé. Almost every single thing we got in this flashback related back to present day concerns. We touched so many corners. Mikey, Donna, Richie, Sugar. In ONE flashback.

Whereas, Tina's (bless her she's a doll) did nothing for the present day story. We see Tina struggle, we never get to hear the exact reason why. Does she hate this new environment? Does she wish she was just making sandwiches with Ebra? Is Carmy getting on her nerves? Sure, that could be a given but they never let her say it. We get her flashback that focuses on finding a new job, and the convo she has with Mikey. The convo is mostly about dreams, wants. I saw someone say that Tina's episode was an ode to everyone just trying to try. Not looking for a title, not competing, just trying. I agree and I love that. Why did it not relate to whatever she's going through in present day?

The rebuttal for my critiques could be, not everything has to tie in. Some things can be standalone. That's true but in my opinion... it shouldn't be done for a 40 min 10 episode show. Esp not one that tied in the flashbacks and standalone episodes in previous seasons. Why did we suddenly stop doing that this season?

This season felt aimless. Let's talk about Claire lmao when Tiff brought up Claire on that bench with Richie, I went huh??? TIFF is bringing up Claire now? WHY! I had to remind myself that she is literally a family friend they've all known for yeaaars. But me? We, the audience? We don't fucking know Claire! "She's his peace." His WHAT? When??? Stop trying to convince me of this and show me in season 1 and 2 that this woman is his peace.

If you decide to drag this Claire shit out for the entire season, oh bby, you're gonna need the audience to feel the same anguish Carmy is feeling. We should be thinking, fuck, Fak is right she is his peace because remember when she pulled him out of x y z? But at the same time they're not good for each other right now because of x y z. We have so little to go off of with these two and they made Carmy hung up on her the whole season lmaoo please.

I'll end with that, actually. You mean to tell me that the entire restaurant let Carmy act like that for months and NO ONE- not even broke ass Jimmy, told him, you need to stop. It took "Computer" coming in to get them just a little bit together? And even then? Still switching the menu, still not listening to Syd, still butting heads with Richie? You shitting me? And does Carmy know he's a fucking uncle now? DOES HE CARE? Oh fuck me this season was ass.

[indiestsnake]

Is it an unpopular opinion to say mouthwashing would’ve been a better, more nuanced story if Jimmy wasn’t an absolutely inhumane monster before the story even started?

Idk. I’m gonna talk about it. Mouthwashing is a video game btw, and its plot contains some messed up stuff. Warning for mention of severe SA, suicide, and probably some gore here and there. Also spoilers! Go play or watch it, it’s such a good fucking game holy shit.

Btw I fucking love this game as is and don’t think it’s bad. Not hating, just speaking out my tiny grievance with the plot. Again, I love this game!!!! And I don’t need it to change to be good. Now, with that out of the way.

So. I’m not saying I don’t hate Jimmy. Fuck that guy, he’s a horrible person. End of sentence. The meme of never saying his name in fandom is so goddamn funny.

But if he wasn’t, I think the story would’ve been more interesting.

Mouthwashing is a psychological horror game. It it about human beings with human flaws having human reactions to human (if complicated) situations. Is Swansea a bad person for killing Diasuke? Complicated, because he believed (arguably knew for certain) that Jimmy’s delusions of grandeur and “fixing” everything would only make him suffer. Anya swallows all the pills, the pills she knows are the only thing between Curly and endless agonizing pain. But… it’s more complicated. Because Jimmy emotionally abused, SA’d, and bullied her into thinking she was better off dead. Everyone is extremely human, even Curly. He’s just a dude who got lucky with his talents, but wants something different from what he got.

Except Jimmy.

Jimmy is horrible to the point of parody. Especially in the fandom. And I get why. He non-consensually got Anya pregnant (I don’t like using the word okay shush) on a spaceship. When he knew they wouldn’t see another human face for over a half a year. Maybe more. That amount of horrific selfishness for five minutes of pleasure is not only completely inhumane, but downright idiotic in all faucets. He is not just a horrible person, he is a complete fucking moron. I genuinely struggle to believe anyone would be dumb enough and evil enough to do that, and maybe that’s a me thing. Feel free to say if that makes sense to you, but to me, it messes with suspension of disbelief.

And it also devalues so much of his later actions and guilt. Jimmy cuts off Curly’s fucking leg and feeds it to him because he is that mad with guilt and a want to fix things. That kind of nuanced insanity, extremely human insanity is such an interesting concept. But he’s not just a regular human. He is a complete fucking idiot and monster. It feels like just another act of idiocy. What about this in particular made him go crazy? Why not his rampant lashing out at his friends? Why not his assault of Anya? If he was just a below-average moral person, a struggling but ultimately good-hearted friend, Anya’s semi-awful boyfriend, his guilt would make so much more sense and feel so much more meaningful. But I struggle to believe such a horrible person would feel such deep guilt.

And there’s the fandom shenanigans I’ve seen claiming evidence for Jimmy emotionally abusing both Anya and Curly. I haven’t seen everything the game has firsthand, so i won’t comment on the realness of that. I choose to believe it as overhating (because remember, this is fiction. Jimmy is not real. You don’t need more reasons to dislike him.) because Curly treats Jimmy like a friend and calls him a friend. At least before the crash.

TLDR, I struggle to believe someone as awful as Jimmy would go mad with guilt to the point of doing what he did. That being, condemning Curly to live twenty-something years of endless agony and misery off a piece of his own leg and then putting a gun in his mouth. I think the story would be more nuanced and interesting if he was more of a normal, slightly-below average dude.

That being said, I love the story as is and it’s amazing. And the SA representation is good and makes Anya’s character arguably better. And hating on good ol Jennifer is kinda funny. So yeah. Cool game. I should really draw smthn for this fandom soon…

[chaostroid]

MOUTHWASHING SPOILERS

meatball don’t read this until i indoctrinated you into watching the game ..

The implication that Jimmy raped Anya and she was literally so quiet about it KILLS ME

“I’m pregnant” and also hiding the gun case OHHH MY GODFGDHFJFG

I’m like 80-90% sure swansea knew and that cryo pod was for her. like. come on now. swansea’s character is so fucking awesome i hate that i like him!!!!!!!! mean old man who secretly saw his friends as if they were his own trope NAAAUURRR ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

Like, Swan does NAWT fuck with Jimmy. the pod could’ve been for daisuke, but somehow i knew it was for anya i swear to god. like why would he keep it from fucking everyone. Anya never asked about the utility room. at least i dont think so.

^ its also possible he’d keep it for himself, but he spoke about his life in that tied up bit as if it were already over. I really doubt it was just for him.

not like we’d see it anyway because we play from jimmy’s perspective, at least most of the time.

Curly knew because he was the captain and he was trustworthy, Swansea knew because daisuke was probably too young for her to confide in and she wanted some sort of protection - like in the last bit where you have to find the gun case and stuff / break into the medical room, swansea is no fuckign help (ik he was drunk but still)

also the way he attacks jimmy with the axe in the medical room. SWAN KNEW OK

he knew

i swear

anyway.

There was a mutual trust between Curly, swan and anya. Daisuke was left out cus of age, and jimmy because he’s literally insane. and also raped anya.

Jimmy is an exceptionally well written villain, and i love the psychological horror aspect that comes with being forced to do the things he did. Feeding curly his own leg?? WHAT!!!

I figure Jimmy is so jealous of Curly because he’s been “trying to climb the ladder” for years, but his behaviours and inability to cooperate stopped him from becoming a captain, and thats all he wanted. He got it, i guess. I think the horse / pony express part of his (what i can only describe as) mental breakdown / psychosis is just the fact that he’s been so focused on that company that he saw the horse fucking EVERYWHERE !!!

he convinced himself he’s been busting his ass for pony express for years and nobody even sees him. the highest rung for him is to be captain and he just couldn’t reach it. ladies and gents. Jimmy has been tunnel visioned in on captain-ness he lost his sense of life.

“I’m gonna fix this. we’re gonna get out of here.”

i think he says that because he’s more or less trying to convince himself that he can still fix everything, rather than just mindless rambling to everyone who’s died.

His breaking point back into whatever can be perceived as consciousness is curly in the end. they ran out of pain meds so he tried to help him by feeding him something, and then puts him in the pod.

Putting Curly in the pod is his remorse. Killing himself is his guilt.

THIS IS NOT A JIMMY APOLOGIST SECTION . goodness. that guy is so fucking evil it was genuinely crazy, i just like writing about how i saw things.

Out of all the characters, They’re all my favourite except for Jimmy. Fuck that guy. love you curly. ❤️

There will be mouthwashing fanart soon on GYAT ITS COMING

I love it so much

❤️❤️❤️❤️ mouthwashing

[shhh-secret-time]

Star Park AU: Stan Marsh Edition

-> Lives on Tegridy Farms with his family. His dad sold their house and moved them out to the valley when Stan was ten. (They're essentially where Marnie is in game.)

-> Sparky is still alive but he's getting older, so he sticks to laying on the porch waiting for Stan to get back

-> Plays football with Clyde, Craig, and Tolkien! Kenny and Cartman will join in sometimes and he practically drags Kyle out to join them.

-> He works for Joja Mart with his sister. They'd both rather work there than be near their dad.

》 He's saving up to move back to the city, or so he says. Truth be told he can't leave behind Sparky or his Mom.

-> He bought his own chicken coop and has a few chickens of his own.

-> He goes to the saloon every night, most nights by himself

-> But on Fridays, after Jimmy's comedy act, him and his band will play!

-> On Sundays when everyone else is in church or doing their own thing. Stan and Kyle will go up to the summit past the railroad tracks and spend hours up there. Catching up and just unwinding.

-> He probably has a mini event that's kind of like Sam's 2 heart event, where he asks the Farmer what type of music they like.

Gift Guide:

Loves: Pizza, Survival Burger, Book of Mysteries, Frozen Tears, Beer (This changes after Heart Event 6)

Likes: Joja Cola, Apples, All Eggs, Void Esscene, Large Milk

Neutral: All Fruit (Except Apples), Coffee, Peppers

Dislikes: Fertilizer, Daffodil, Any Fish, Pink Cake

Hates: Rabbit Foot, Coleslaw, Clay, Beer (After Heart Event 6)

Loved: "Dude! Are you sure?! Man this rules!"

Liked: "Oh, uh thanks! Should I get you something back?"

Neutral: "Cool, I'll find a use for it."

Disliked: "What...is this? Why?"

Hated: "What the fuck were you thinking?"

Given any alcohol after Heart Event 6: "Why would you give me this?! You know I'm trying to stop!"

Heart Event @ 2:

Stan is throwing empty beer bottles at the passing train, they shatter just as the Farmer approaches him. He looks back at them with a grin offering one for them to throw. He mentions that he was drinking with his friend Kenny but he had to go, so now he's just passing time. He's not quite drunk yet but he's tipsy. When the Farmer takes the bottle and throws it he relaxes a little, says that he's glad they're not put off by the behavior. After a little bit of silence, he asks them why they moved to the Valley. There's not a lot of money in farming and then makes a comment about how he fucking hates it. How he feels isolated from the rest of the town sometimes.

-> Feels that way sometimes doesn't it? But at least you have your friends (+)

-> You're literally closer to town than I am, don't your friends come to visit you? (-)

If First Option: He mulls it over and decides you're right. He should he grateful he at least has them. Though lately it feels like they're drifting apart. Stan comments how you must feel lonely being new to town and all.

"Oh well. I guess we can be lonely losers together. Farmer buddies and all that."

If Second Option: Stan doesn't really appreciate the sass. He wasn't looking for a pity party, just wanted to kinda vent. He makes note not to talk about it again.

"Yeah sure. I guess, but you didn't have to be a dick about it."

Heart Event @ 4:

Stan and his friends are playing pool at the tavern, a rare instance where they're all off work and finally get to hang out. He leans over the pool table and sinks another ball, much to Kyle's annoyance. As the Farmer comes in Cartman makes a comment that Kyle is getting his ass kicked and bad. It prompts Kyle to snap at him and shake the pool cue at him. Kenny and Stan laugh a little before Stan realizes you're there. He smiles and gestures for you to come over! Now that you're here they have enough for teams. Farmer is confused because there's already four of them, they make five. Stan whispers in their ear, explaining that Cartman won't play with Kyle anymore. He lost one time and now he's convinced that Kyle cheated. Something about how there's no way Kyle would ever actually win a game fair and square. When you agree he gets excited and before anyone else gets the chance he announces that you'll be on his team!

"Awesome! We're gonna smoke these guys! Kenny wrack 'em! Farmer is with me!"

⚠️ TW: Attempted suicide ahead ⚠️

Heart Event @ 6:

Stan's drinking again. Right next to the railroad tracks but this time he's got one foot on the railroad, rocking back and forth. There's glass bottles around him, unbroken and too many to count. He almost stumbles down to the ground but he keeps himself up. Farmer approaches and that's when they hear the sound of the train coming in, and it's coming fast. Stan had no intentions on moving, in fact he looks like he's about to fall forward willingly. The dead look in his eyes tells them that much. Farmer runs across the field and tackles him into the ground, the train narrowly missing the both of them. Stan lays there having just had the wind knocked out of him. His head is spinning and he feels sick, but he also feels the Farmer on his chest and his back against the ground. He's not dead. Then it hits him, you almost died to save him. You who's kept talking to him despite everything, even when he was being an ass.

"You....you could have gotten yourself killed why would you do that?"

-> I couldn't just stand there and watch you die Stan!

-> Are you crazy?! You almost got us both killed!

-> I don't know...my legs just moved on their own.

-> (Just hug him)

If First Option: Stan starts crying and presses his palms into his eyes. He lays there and sobs, but he feels safe enough to do it.

"Hey Farmer...hic...can you help me to Kyle. I'm scared."

If Second Option: He grits his teeth and digs his hand into the dirt. Stan knows what he did was crazy, he can't be mad at you for snapping like that. You just saved his life. But he didn't ask you to.

"Fuck...I know. Look, just help me get to Kyle. I think I'm gonna be sick."

If Third Option: Stan doesn't know what to say but he thinks he gets it. He just closes his eyes and tries to stop the dizzy ride his drunken state is on. He doesn't want to move but he can't just lay here all day.

"Do you think Kyle is gonna yell at me...if I show up looking like this? Maybe if I just go to sleep I won't have to think about it."

If Fourth Option: Stan freezes he wasn't expecting the Farmer to do that. They should be angry with him, furious. But they're hugging him and clinging to him for dear life. His life. Stan wraps his arms around them and starts to cry. It's the most vulnerable he's been with anyone in a long time.

"Shit...fuck dude...just please don't let me go. I don't wanna go. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Heart Event @ 8:

It's early morning when the Farmer steps out, they're greeted with the sound of music. Stan is sitting on their porch playing his old guitar, the acoustic one that's seen better days. When the Farmer gets closer he looks up at them for a moment, unable to look them in the eye for too long. After a moment of silence, he tells them that Kyle got it out of storage for him. Says it'll help him focus on something other than the withdrawals and that Kyle put him in contact with a therapist. He thanks the Farmer for saving his life, and apologizes that they had to see that. As he plays a somber tune again he makes a comment, this is the first time he's been on their farm. First time he's been out this way since they moved into the valley. He confesses that your farm is a lot nicer than his dad's and that maybe farming isn't so bad. Farmer sits beside him and he quietly continues playing, they've never heard him play this song before.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry I've been a jerk to you. You and Kyle shouldn't have to take care of me, but you did. You care and I should remember that. Sparky would have been really upset if I never came home. So thanks...for everything."

When given the bouquet:

"!! I don't understand why you'd choose me, but...I'm selfish and I want you all to myself. So I accept!"

Heart Event @ 10:

Stan is leading Farmer past the railroad tracks, he doesn't even seem bothered much anymore to be here. He leads them up the path that he's taken a thousand times. There he leads them to the summit, his favorite spot to be at. They sit together at the edge if the cliff with their legs dangling off the side. He admits to them that he liked coming up here a lot as a kid, when his dad and him would fight it was his little hiding spot. Then he brought Kyle and it became special. The days where he'd get stupid drunk he'd think about just falling forward like that day with the train. But it's because of those amazing memories with his best friend, he could never bring himself to do it. They're special and he wouldn't want to ruin them for Kyle. It's things like that, that remind him why he's alive. Things like you. He smiles at the Farmer and tells you this. Tells Farmer he wants to continue to make more memories with them so he has a reason. His hand inches closer to theirs, not quite touching. Before he can pull away, Farmer takes his hand and slides closer to him. They rest their head on his shoulder and look up towards the big illuminated moon that's in front of them. Stan wraps his arm around them and lays his cheek on top of their head.

"Every moment with you reminds me why I'm here. I'm not...perfect and I don't think I'll ever understand why you choose to stick around. But I meant what I said, I want you around me always. I can breath with you around."

Heart Event @ 14:

Stan's outside playing with Sparky and Farmer's pet, when he moved in he brought his beloved dog with him. Sparky seems to be getting better every day he's here and Stan couldn't be happier. Farmer walks up with hearts in their eyes, making him a little bashful. He rubs the back of his neck just as Sparky brings the ball back. He mentions that he really loved animals, and that he's always had a soft spot for them. Farmer questions him about his love for Survival Burgers, which he quickly points out that they're made of Cave Carrot NOT beef! After a little while of playing with the pets he sits in the field with them, looking over their hardwork. Stan turns red and starts ranting about how the last time he went to visit his dad, he started nagging him about grandkids. He's embarrassed because Randy has never mentioned it before and it makes him uncomfortable.

"He's such an ass! You'd think he'd stop trying to tell me how to live my life after I moved out. Why doesn't he bother Shelly with this?!"

-> He probably does. We don't have to have kids if you don't want them! I'm just happy you're here with me! Don't let him get to you!

-> Don't let your dad pressure you into anything you're not ready for. It's our relationship and we'll decide when and if we want kids. But if you're anything like you are with Sparky towards kids, I think you'd be a great dad!

If First Option: Stan grins and tells them they're right as always. He leans down and kisses the top of their head. Sparky walks over with the Farmer's pet and lays in their lap. Stan smirks and makes a comment about how they could just get another dog.

"Our farm is big enough for another one right? We could get one or two more puppies. They could help with the sheep and chickens! Help dig holes!"

If Second Option: Stan says he'll think on it. Later that night while Farmer is cleaning up the dishes and putting them away. Stan walks up behind them and wraps his arms around them. He murmurs in their ear that he's been doing nothing but thinking about what they said. The thought of starting a family with them is starting to sound appealing, plus it could be fun raising a mini them. He presses a kiss into their temple.

"You really think I'll make a good dad? I just don't wanna end up like mine...but if you're with me I think I could do it. And if they're anything like you, they'll be an amazing kid."

Random Marriage Quotes!!

"You looked really adorable asleep last night...you also drooled on my arm."

"Having a bad thought day...I might be a little off today. I'm sorry."

"Babe, you got dirt on your face. C'mere, let me clean it. Just let me take care of you butthead!"

"Sparky and I watered the crops today! How do you know how much to give them? I feel like I'm drowning them."

"Fed the animals! They're doing great! Would...you judge me if I took a nap out in the field with them?"

"Hey...real quick...I uh- I love you. I know I don't say it enough and I'm sorry, but I really do."

"Morning. Made you some pancakes! I stole the recipe from my mom! Why do you look scared?"

"Hey babe, I'm going to visit my parents today. Please feel free to come save me when you're done doing what you need to do."

"Are you coming to the tavern tonight? We're playing a new song tonight, I wrote it for you."

"You know, when I was a kid, when I got nervous, I'd throw up. You make me nervous sometimes but I- hey! I'm not going to puke on you, I'm not twelve. Get back here!"

Tag List: @hunnysnoops

[watarfallar]

Have Some more

Grian: If anyone needs me, then fuck off.

Pearl: Look, I know you think my judgement's clouded because I like Scott a little bit. BigB, holding Pearl's notepad: You doodled your wedding invitation. Pearl: No, that's our joint tombstone. BigB: My mistake.

Bdubs: Guess who just found out the difference between wax paper and parchment paper the hard way? BigB: Wait, what’s the difference? Bdubs: One you can use in the oven safely, and the other you can also use in the oven... if the thing you are trying to make happens to be fire.

Scott: I hate you. Pearl: Well, according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that is untrue.

Impulse: What is your favourite mythical story? BigB: The Story Of My Will To Live. Impulse: I don’t think I’ve heard of that one before.

Scar: Why is Joel making me do the dishes again? You haven’t washed them in a week, Ren! Ren: It’s because I’m Joel’s favorite. Scar: I hate you.

Pearl: Is the pink panther a lion? Impulse: Say that again but slower. Pearl: I don’t get it. Impulse: He’s a PANTHER. Pearl: Is that a type of lion? Impulse: No, it’s a fucking panther. Pearl: *googles panther* They aren’t pink? Impulse: AND LIONS ARE?!

Impulse: Good night. Mumbo: Sleep tight. Tango: Don't let the bedbugs crawl up to your ear and whisper threatening things that make you question yourself. Scar: Great, now Mumbo's crying.

Scar: Pearl, I don’t think I can handle any more of your tomfuckery. Pearl: Oh yeah? Well I can keep going until you’re all tomfuckered out!

Joel: What happened?! Pearl: Do you want the long version or the short version? Joel: Sh-short?? Pearl: Shit's fucked. Joel: Okay, long. Pearl: Shit's very fucked.

Scar & Tango:*Playing video games* Joel: You guys woke up at 5:30 in the morning just to play games? Scar: *silence* Tango: *silence* Joel, finally figuring it out: ...You two never went to sleep, did you? Scar & Tango in shame: Yeah...

Joel to Cleo, who’s about to get married: Today, two families are becoming one. Tango, in an ominous voice: Two families enter, one family leaves. Scar: That sounds so threatening… Skizz: The Wedding Games… Scott: May the bouquet toss be ever in your favor. Cleo: Beautiful. Joel: Fuck all of you!

Impulse, handing out popsicles: Which flavor do you want? Tango: Blue flavor! Impulse: Uh, you mean Blue Raspberry? Tango: Blue flavor! Blue flavor! Impulse: Blue is not a flavor! Tango: BLUE FLAVOR!

Impulse: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions? Grian: Put spaghetti in it. Impulse: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you. Jimmy: Put spaghetti in it. Impulse: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two. Tango: Put spaghetti in it. Impulse: I am no longer taking suggestions.

Grian: *sharpens knife* We've got ways of making people talk. Grian: *cuts piece of cake* Joel: ...Can I have some? Grian: Cake is for talkers.

Scott: Oooh, a train! Jimmy: We’re in a train station, Scott.

Gem: Sometimes I drink milk straight from the container. Bdubs: The cow?? Gem:What? Impulse: Bdubs, W H Y?

Pearl: *sneaking in through their window* BigB: *turning in their chair and flicking the light one* You want to tell me where you've been all night? Pearl: I was with Jimmy? Jimmy: *turning in their chair* Wanna try again?

Scar: You can track Pearl? Jimmy: Of course I can. If the NSA can do it, so can I.

Tango: The last time I went to an urgent care clinic, I checked off 'excessive crying' on the symptom list, and then the nurse got really confused and said that was meant for babies.

Martyn: So, Scar and Gem. Martyn: According to this, you two are being accused of: Armed Robbery, Vandalism, Drug Abuse, Grand Theft Auto… Scar: We had a bad day. Martyn: And… MURDER?! Gem: It was a pretty bad day…

Bdubs: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective? Martyn: *crouches down* Joel: *kneels down* Cleo: *sits on the floor* Bdubs: Bdubs: I hate all of you.

[niyalationz]

what in the mother FAWK was bad blood 😭😭

Ok #rant ahead sorru guysies..

(Assuming kayfabe here guys ok ? Ok!)

Wtaf. Wtf. Wtaf. Wtf. Wtaf. Wtf. Wtaf.

1. even if i dont like liv, it's like theyr purposely trying to make her look weak. her whole reign has been about running away and cheating; idgaf if shes a heel. She still needs to PROVE she deserves the title.

2. i hate how this entire feud is all about dominik. Like doesnt rhea have a new man ?? Gtfo.. and the announcers constantly pushing this narrative that rhea still loves him the ENTIRE match was genuinely so annoying like stfu stfd and do ur job ho 😭😭

3. as a huuuuggee rhea fan, i wouldn't of even cared if liv won the match. Because there was nobody to get involved and cost rhea to lose, she was guaranteed to win in a way that would show everyone she can hold her own against anyone and deserves to have that title. She managed perfectly fine without TJD on her side before, so why can't she now?

4. o ya, raquel def fucked the match up. She came in to early, caused the DQ, and still tried to save it. Also, it was so anticlimactic how she came in. She should of had her theme song playing and she should of came out AFTER rhea was hitting dom.

5. this match was so obviously scripted it hurt like wtafff. I know i said 'assuming kayfabe' up there but cmon now. I will NEVER understand why rhea didnt just pin liv right then and there and maybe beat up dominik after. Even if raquel came out after she had pinned liv and beat her up, Rhea would still have the title and at the end of the day that's all that matters.

6. can we pls talk abt jhea? the writers started this like a year ago and are just now adding onto it bcz of the betrayal , but they've already ruined it before it even started. zero interactions two shows in a row (which i do understand the first one,, i wouldnt want my son to watch me wrestling + flirting with another woman that isnt his mother), but BFFR. Not even a behind the scenes of them talking? All we've gotten is them posting stories of one another. Come AWN neow HHH !☠️

7. okay so now were breaking up the terror twins. 💀 idk if triple H is trying to make Liv look weak or just ruin rhea's entire career. these bookings and plot line is ass and they did this w sasha banks tew. Look where she at now 🤷🏽‍♀️ anywayyy,, i dont get WHY they would break them up either. It also sort of ruins damians character and their bond w eachother that wwe has built up for years + the irl bond they have. Damian has sacrificed his own body to protect her, and now he got one win and all of a sudden he needs to go solo and leave a broken up rhea behind? NAW. He would not dew that. If u told last week Damian abt ts he'd slap u silly and knock the mario coins outta u.

8. i lowk stopped watching after that roman and cody match bcz i didnt care to see the rest so idk what all happened after that, so spare me guyss...

9. honestly,, jimmy coming back made me happy as a mf. Holdon let me show yall

10. Do i gaf thats not they names.. nooo not rlly lol haha anwyays

11. am i happy that my baby daddy roman won? Hell ya!

12. am i even happier that he came back for cody? HELLLLL YEEEEAHHHHHHH

13. am i confused at the rock comin back and not saying shit? ..yes

14. but anyways thats js my take on the situation. Maybe it's tew much yapping and not alot of sense behind these words, maybe it's just me seeing the drew vs punk first and expecting SO much more. I was expecting like rhea 2 go dummy crazy on Liv likkke. I wanted to see Rhea 'the bloody eradicator' ripley beatin ho's ass! But anyways i guess not 😭😭

15. i guess this isnt the end of the feud? Idk.. adding raquel into beef that should of just been rhea vs liv was a dumb ass move idc !

16. bye yall 😛