#Not just to recharge but also to get some shit done

[goddessofroyalty]

So there’s a public holiday in my country tomorrow. And while I am very much team Change The Date I also very much need that day off right now. 

Anyway I was going to do an ask meme tonight but I am so fucking mentally drained. I need some brain popcorn and maybe an orgasm. 

Might reblog an ask meme first thing in the morning to respond to while I get some things (real life and fic) done. So I guess if there’s anything in particular anyone wants to me to do (5 headcanons, rate pairings/characters, honest opinions on x, fuck/marry/kill, etc) let me know. If not I’ll pick one. 

[yangfleurs]

stray kids reaction: they call you clingy

maknae line

pt.2

(hyung line pt.1 is here)

jisung

what you liked most about being with jisung was that it was never complicated with him. you two seemed to always be in tune with each other, knowing when to keep your distance and when to show your affectionate sides. but you knew jisung was an introvert, through and through, and there was nothing he loved more than his time alone. and so you left him to himself when he needed you to; you and him both knew it was good for couples to have their own lives and interests outside of each other.

it was one of those days with jisung, where he needed to spend some time with himself to recharge so he could be his best self at work the next day. you didn’t mind, obviously; you were a busy person yourself, and between school and work, there really wasn’t any time for you to let loose with jisung today anyway. 

you spent practically the entire morning after breakfast sat on the living room floor and glued to your laptop, fervently typing away on a paper you definitely should’ve started earlier. but if you pushed through it the whole day and only took a few short breaks, you were sure you’d be done by midnight. you were ready to take your first one of those planned breaks to make lunch and eat, but a wave of laziness washed over you. you didn’t feel like cooking at all, not after pouring your brain’s contents into your work for so long. you started convincing yourself you could work through your designated lunch break and just eat a big dinner when jisung came out of the bedroom, bundled up in his puffer jacket.

“I’m going to the convenience store.” he grumbled out, shuffling towards the door.

why didn’t you think of that? you could grab some cheap, prepared food to eat there, while also getting some fresh air on your skin and a little bit of time to spend with jisung. “let’s go together! I need to grab something to eat, too.” you said, rushing to your bedroom to grab your own jacket. you quickly scrambled through your closet, finding your own puffer, before heading back into the living room. when you came back out though, jisung was nowhere in sight. you figured he was just downstairs and hurried to throw on your shoes so he wouldn’t grow impatient waiting for you. if there was one thing jisung hated, it was waiting, you thought to yourself as you skittered down the stairs.

when you got out of your building, jisung was already walking towards the direction of the convenience store, clearly not waiting for you. you ran to catch up with him, a little embarrassed at how he left you behind.

“hey, why didn’t you wait? I literally only took two minutes.” you mumbled, a little bummed out by his attitude.

“I wanna get back to my show, y/n.” he said with an over-exaggerated sigh which made you roll your eyes. 

“you’re always so serious about your shows, it’s cute.” you giggled a little, leaning towards him and reaching for his hand. just as you were about to hold it, he briskly tucked his hand into his jacket pocket, keeping his eyes straight ahead and away from you. you coughed a little and turned your face the other direction to hide the humiliating red crawling up your neck and onto your face.

you arrived at the convenience store in complete silence, immediately going your separate ways to grab your food. you grabbed a triangle kimbap for lunch and then a ramen you could make quickly later in the night for dinner. you made yourself an iced coffee too, hoping some caffeine would help you focus in on your work and ignore the tension between you and your boyfriend. you found him already at the counter, putting his things down. you put your things down to the side of the counter so you could search for your wallet. you pat around your pants and then your jacket, but you don’t feel it anywhere on you.

“shit, shit, I forgot my wallet.” you groaned.

"we’re together.” he muttered, pushing your things with his and handing the employee his card. you thanked him quietly, hiding your smile by looking down. there was your jisung, considerate and always looking out for you. 

“you forgot your wallet on purpose, didn’t you? y/n, I know you’re on the clingier side, but don’t you think that’s too much?” he huffed as he waited for his card to go through, “I asked for literally one day on my own and you just had to follow me to the convenience store and then you just conveniently didn’t remember your wallet? seriously?” he rolled his eyes.

you were stunned, to say the least. the employee looked at you both awkwardly, coughing a little and turning away so she didn’t embarrass you. but it was too late for that; as he started to put the food in his bag, you yanked him by the arm to turn him to face you. he looked at you, completely bewildered at your aggression. you didn’t care, though---if he got to give you an earful, you should return the favor.

“who do you take me for, jisung? god forbid I forget my wallet while rushing out to catch up with my boyfriend who’s running away from me like I’m some sort of fucking plague,” you seethed, “I haven’t eaten in hours, jisung. I’ve been working my ass off, not once even trying to talk to you. I am not as obsessed with you as you’ve deluded yourself into thinking.” you spat, shoving your food into his arms. “and since you’re so concerned about the what, ten dollars, you had to spend on me? take the food. I just lost my appetite.”

you walked out of the convenience store and away from him in the opposite direction, so you could both hide the tears that you were bound to spill as well as to go anywhere but back to your shared apartment. 

you headed to your school, figuring you could finish your paper at the library there. you had already wasted so much time, and an all-nighter was soon going to be inevitable. you also knew you had a limited amount of energy left in you on an empty stomach, hearing it growl as you thought of your situation. you quietly groaned, sniffling as you trudged along. you’d kill to just have your boyfriend comfort you and support you through this grueling assignment, but instead, you were burning with humiliation at being berated by him in front of a complete stranger.

you walked slowly, counting your steps and hoping you’d hear jisung’s heavy footsteps running to catch up with you any moment now. but that moment never came, not even after you’d barely walked half a block in fifteen minutes. you had both, literally, parted ways. and it made you wonder if it symbolized something more than just a small argument.

felix

you were walking backstage to meet your boyfriend, felix, and his members to cheer them on for their final music bank performance of the season. this was a tradition for you; at the end of all of their final comeback performances, you would bring them as well as their staff a well-deserved, expensive meal to end the comeback strongly. it wasn’t burdensome for you; if anything, you were always thankful to them for taking care of felix and you wanted to express your gratitude through feeding them some delicious food. 

you walked in clumsily, stumbling a little as the boys’s manager let you past security. you greeted him politely, handing him the food that was meant for him and the staff. you greeted the staff as well, bowing deeply at all of them like you always did; you knew they were practically family to your boyfriend, so you treated them with as much respect as you would his actual family. you turned to their manager again to speak.

“I’ll take the food for the boys in myself.” you let their manager know with a smile. he nodded, thanking you for the food for the millionth time before freeing up the hallway for you to go down. you bowed one last time before heading to the waiting room. as you turned the corner, you saw changbin coming from another direction .

“oh, hey y/n!” changbin waved, immediately grabbing the heavy bags out of your hands. “I just got out of the restroom, let’s head to the waiting room together.” he said, smiling. you nodded, thanking him for his help. you both chatted as you walked down the hallway, catching up on each other’s lives and listening to him explain how excited they were about upcoming plans for the group. you listened with a smile, making a note to bring it up to felix later when you got some time to talk to him in the waiting room. 

you made it to the door of their waiting room first, and noticed the door was left slightly ajar. you overheard a familiar voice, chan’s, addressing your boyfriend.

“so how are things with y/n?” you heard chan ask felix. “she should be coming with the food any time now. she’s so sweet.” you smiled at his compliment. you shushed changbin as he caught up with you; you needed to hear what felix would say.

“well...she’s clingy for sure.” he chuckled. “I don’t think I’ve ever dated someone who needed this much attention, hyung.”

 you were taken aback. is that what he thought of you? were you just some needy, clingy person pestering him for his attention all the time? you were a little embarrassed, but not nearly as much as you were hurt. you and felix both loved each other’s attention, you couldn’t believe he would say something like that. you gulped, grabbing changbin’s arm and heading backwards to the corner you had just turned.

“y/n, I’ll talk to him.” he said, distressed. you knew changbin, and you knew he would try to fix the situation like the good friend he was.

“no, you won’t. you’re going to tell him I was busy today and only had time to drop the food off. I’ll figure it out later, okay?” you said in a rush, wanting to get out of the building. the whole place suddenly felt suffocating, you couldn’t stand being there, somewhere you clearly weren’t wanted. you didn’t want felix to think you were any more needy than he already thought you were. your insecurities were slowly creeping in on you, and it was distressing.

changbin hesitated but finally relented when you promised you would talk to felix about it when he came home tonight. you practically ran out of the corridor, giving nothing more than a cursory bow and goodbye to the staff and manager, shabbily covering most of your face with your hand to hide that fact that you were on the verge of crying.

you got into your car and let yourself let go. the tears flowed freely, and you had no intention of stifling them. your relationship with felix was the closest thing to perfect you’d ever experienced. you adored how attentive he was to you---he never, not once, missed a birthday or anniversary. he was the first person to congratulate you when you passed your exams, and the first one to comfort you when you didn’t. there was never a moment when you were both home that he wasn’t following you around, trailing you even to the bathroom sometimes just so he wouldn’t be apart from you. you loved it and you thought he loved it, too. and the attention wasn’t one-sided, either---otherwise, you wouldn’t have even come here, arms overflowing with expensive food for practically everyone that interacted with him. 

you sighed, satisfied with the release of emotions, and wiped your eyes carelessly. you drove yourself home, not even bothering to listen to the radio or try to calm down from your rush of feelings. you got home, unlocking the door and plodding into your apartment, feet feeling weighed down by how heavy your mood had become. you chugged a whole glass of water; all that crying had made you thirsty---and exhausted. you slid your jacket off and onto the ground before plopping down right there on the couch, not even bothering to change or wipe your makeup off. you didn’t want to do anything except stop thinking about the words your boyfriend had said about you to his friend earlier. you drifted off to sleep just like that, with mascara tears and a broken heart.

seungmin

there were a lot of things that went unspoken between you and seungmin. that was one of the best parts about dating him---you could both show your love for each other in the way you were most comfortable with. for both of you, that happened to be doing things to make the other’s day a little easier. 

seungmin took the trash out early in the morning so you wouldn’t have to do the heavy lifting on your own. you made him his coffee before he left. you would order lunch to where he was, whether it be the company building or at the dorm with the boys, in advance so he wouldn’t have to bother with cooking anything. he would stop by during your lunch break at work with your coffee order and a small bite to eat in case you didn’t pack food that day. he has your favorite show ready to play as soon as you’ve washed up after work and you’re always ready to greet him with open arms after a long and tiring day at practice.

you both anticipated what the other needed, and that made you guys always in tune with each other. you’d never even had a serious fight, the worst one being a five-minute quarrel about seungmin buying the wrong shampoo on your grocery list, which was easily resolved by him driving to the store after work and exchanging it for the right one.

tonight, you knew seungmin would come home exhausted. he had practice from sunrise to sunset, with only a short break here and there to eat or use the bathroom. the choreographer for the comeback they were preparing for was one of the best, but she was known for being incredibly detail-oriented (which was, of course, what made her the best), and according to your friend and seungmin’s, hyunjin, she was especially keen on ironing out all the tiny mistakes seungmin was making. she was the reason your boyfriend was exhausting himself for endless hours and the reason he was going to come home tonight like a walking corpse.

you stuck a gatorade in the freezer to chill it quickly, knowing he would need the reminder to replenish himself. you warmed up the food on the stove, laid out his sleep clothes on the bed, and started cleaning up your home so the both of you could head to bed right after you both ate dinner and he showered.

you started putting your hair up and walking back to the living room after washing up yourself when you heard the jingling of keys outside of your front door. seungmin was home.

the door creaked open and seungmin came in, looking pale and drained of life. he didn’t greet you, which you didn’t blame him for---you knew he just wanted to get his rest as soon as possible.

“hey seung, rough day?” you asked gently, earning a passing grumble as he walked straight past you to the bathroom. you sighed, walking to the kitchen to fix him a plate and pulled out the gatorade so he could eat quickly. he could be as moody as he wanted, you weren’t about to let your boyfriend go to sleep without dinner, especially after the hours of choreography he had just gone through. 

the water droplets of the shower softly padded against the walls of your apartment for a couple of minutes before it was quickly shut off. seungmin stepped out right after, lazily drying his hair with a towel as he walked straight into the bedroom. you hummed, waiting for him to come back after changing into his sleep clothes. but a couple minutes soon became ten, which soon became fifteen. you got up from the sofa and walked into the bedroom, worried as to what was taking him so long. you found him lying in bed, scrolling through his phone.

“coming to bed?” he mumbled, not looking up from the screen.

“I made dinner and put out some gatorade for you, come eat.” you said, tugging his leg a little as a sign for him to get up.

“not hungry.” he sighed, turning a little in bed.

“come on, seung. I know you and you definitely skipped lunch to practice more. you need to eat well if you want to do your best tomorrow.” you told him firmly but gently so he knew you were serious.

“why are you so pushy, y/n,” he rolled his eyes, “you’re not my mom. I’ll eat whenever I want.”

you cringed a little at his rudeness but persisted. “seungmin, just eat something. and then we’ll go to bed, it’s not that hard. just do it for me?” you asked.

“oh my god, you are so pushy and clingy. please just leave me alone, you don’t need to always be on my ass.” he groaned, turning off his phone, and turning his face into the pillow.

you were bewildered. seungmin knew you were the type to look out for him; if anything, he should be sympathizing with you, considering he would’ve done the same for you after a rough day. his words felt like being slapped, the hurt fresh and confusing. you turned around and left the room.

“where are you going? can we please just sleep.” he whined.

“I’m sleeping on the couch, I do not want to be next to you right now.” you muttered, heading to the living room.

“seriously? dramatic much?” he groaned, “whatever, suit yourself.” he mumbled turning off the bedside lamp to sleep. you sighed, closing the door behind you.

you covered the food you had ready for seungmin before plopping down onto the couch. you pulled the living room throw blanket on top of you and tried to fall asleep. your legs were cramped together on the too-small couch and your neck was in an awkward position that you knew would hurt in the morning but all you could do was accept your fate and sigh. you shuffled a little, closing your eyes tightly. but with seungmin’s words still reeling in your mind, you knew there was no way you would be getting any sleep tonight.

jeongin

jeongin was your best friend as much as he was your boyfriend; teasing and poking fun at each other was a natural part of your relationship. it wasn’t uncommon for you to take light jabs at each other; you both knew not to take it too seriously---or to take it too far.

it was an unusually quiet evening at the dorms. a bunch of the guys had gone out for a drink and dinner, save for jeongin, who stayed back to spend time with you. you guys were sitting on the couch, stuffed to the brim with a bunch of takeout---you had gotten a promotion at work and jeongin was keen on celebrating. jeongin laid down in your lap with a whiny groan.

“remind me to never order food on an empty stomach ever again.” he mumbled into your lap, making you giggle.

“thank you for treating me, baby.” you hummed, running your fingers through his hair.

he shot up to look you in the eyes and smiled sweetly, pulling your face closer to his and kissing you gently.

“ew, jeongin!” you heard felix yell from the door.

“in the living room? our innie’s an adult!” lino laughed.

jeongin practically flew to the other side of the couch. neither one of you had heard the door unlock and open, nor had you seen all the members pile into the room.

“he has a way of surprising people,” you chuckled a little, patting him on the cheek, “I’m gonna go to the bathroom, be right back.” you winked at him as the red on his cheeks only grew brighter from your teasing.

you headed to the bathroom at the end of the hallway, laughing to yourself thinking about the hell the members were probably giving jeongin right now. you quickly used the bathroom and cleaned up your appearance a bit before you headed back. you straightened out your clothes as you walked back. before you turned the corner, you heard jeongin’s voice loudly defending himself to the boys.

“and besides, y/n’s super clingy and needy for attention. she wouldn’t have left me alone until I gave her a damn kiss! leave me alone, you guys are the worst.” he huffed angrily.

“so you’re just going to make shit up about me and blame me for a kiss you initiated? what, so your friends won’t tease you a little? grow the fuck up.” you rolled your eyes, feeling the irritation start to make your skin burn.

he sat there silently, not even bothering to correct himself or apologize. the boys dispersed immediately, not wanting to get caught in the crossfire of your (albeit justified) explosive temper. you scoffed at his immaturity, turning for the door and angrily shoving your feet into your shoes and grabbing your coat off of its hanger.

“call me when you decide to stop acting like a dumb kid who can’t handle his friends seeing him act like a boyfriend to his girlfriend.” you spat. you slammed the front door behind you, still coming down from the adrenaline rush your confrontation with jeongin gave you. it hurt you; how could jeongin of all people make you into a needy, annoying girlfriend? all of that, for what? to save face in front of his friends? you sighed, deciding to just head home to your apartment and call it a night.

[dr-spectre]

Hello everyone, wanna give a quick update because I have some important stuff to share.

So basically I've been thinking about this for a little bit now and... i wanna start slowing down. I look back at the posts I've made and I've realised that I've done a LOT of posts over the past several months.

IM NOT GONNA DISAPPEAR DONT WORRY!!! I won't be gone!!! I'm not taking a giant break or anything. I just need to allow myself to recharge a bit. Because I feel myself actually getting tired and burning out and i wanna prevent an actual burn out from happening.

When I look at my inbox and I see the asks I get, sometimes I go "man... I really don't wanna respond to this... it'll be too much mental effort. But... the person might get upset or feel hurt that I didn't respond..." that shit weighs a ton on me. It's not to say that peoples asks are bad, HELL NO!! I love getting most of them! It's just that... I'm tired and sometimes I don't know how the hell to respond to something.

Another reason why I wanna slow down is because well... I kindaaa had a mental crisis... I've been feeling very... numb and angry? recently? which is kinda weird considering that Shadow Generations came out and Splatoween is around the corner. Yet i... feel nothing.

I feel my love for Callie slowly dying. It's just that... the common and gross takes about Hypno Callie are starting to really get into me and I'm feeling it's effects. When i see Callie i don't go "CALLIE!!!!!!!!" anymore, i go "Callie....." It's making me feel sad and when i see Callie i think about those takes. They flood into my head.... i feel so childish and dumb... and that i should accept what's "canon" instead of being some obsessive autistic loser.

I don't know what even happened. I think i hate the Splatoon community and youtubers HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I've also started to feel numb because when i tend to become very passionate and excessive, i then get told off for it. It's like im always pushed down. So if they want me to shut up... fine... i'll shut up. I'll be a grey nothing burger.

Anyways, i'll see you guys later.

[sillysnack]

friendship between aren and chiyo... hear me out...

friends that are polar opposites but totally get along

it all starts with aren running into chiyo in some mall

chiyo's strolling there alone because she likes going out alone from time to time! self-love and recharging her social battery are the goals

aren notices her and approaches her, chiyo cannot dismiss him easily because aren is talkative about his delinquent life and chiyo is hooked on whatever gossip she can get about people she doesn't know about

so they end up spending an afternoon at the mall together and they're both thinking about each other like "YEAH! this person's so cool"

so the day ends and chiyo's like "aahh yeah i commute home..." and aren rides a motor right so he, like, offers to give chiyo a ride home and she's like

"omg noooo you don't need to 😭😭!! i just live at ***"

but that's the street where aren lives at as well so now he just has to give her a lift

ok. so chiyo convinces aren to park his motor for a bit and come hang at her house. she bakes for him. aren's like "holy shit. this is the baking saiki keeps talking about" (YUMESAI SNEAK!!) and chiyo's like "OMG he talks about my baking?!" aren: "non stop when he opens the fridge in his home"

whatevs. anyway. chiyo and aren exchange about their fair share of failed romances and advice on what the other could have done better

also chiyo teaches aren about makeup and fashion

aren becomes a regular visitor to chiyo's house to the point that her mom mistakes him to be her boyfriend a few times. sometimes she'd mistake aren for toritsuka (who is not a frequent visitor. however has a lot of photos with chiyo)

chiyo's mom: i thought you were dating that boy with pink hair?

chiyo: kusuo? mom we're FRIENDS!!!! he has a boyfriend and you met him too! 😭

chiyo's mom: i see.... so, no boys?

chiyo: NO BOYS!

okay

[syn4k]

🌿

unfortunately the only way to solve not wanting to create things is to not create things until you want to create things again.

"but Six!" i hear you protest over the angry yells of all my followers. "that can't be true! i hate that!"

i hate it too. But listen up you self loathing chucklefucks this is IMPORTANT.

if your brain and body is telling you that you are tired and that you need to take a break, fucking listen to them. Do not ignore them and continue making things anyways.

I do not give a fuck about your making one thing per day streak. I do not give a fuck about your follower count or engagement or statistics or whatever the fuck. I do not fucking care how stubborn you are. This rule is set in the laws of the universe itself just like the laws of physics are.

If you do not schedule time for yourself to recharge, your body will automatically do it for you and it WILL NOT ASK POLITELY.

that's what burnout and writer's block IS! you cant make shit if you're too fucking tired and depressed and busy trying to function as a person and don't have any energy left over for creative work! creating things takes ENERGY and EFFORT even the most self loathing low quality shitpost stick figure youve ever doodled on the back of an napkin. That takes effort too. This is your body realizing that you're going past your own limits despite everything and forcibly shutting you down so that you physically fucking cannot anymore for your own health.

Full stop.

If you take the time that you need to rest and regain energy and use it instead to continue doing things that require energy, your body will force you to allocate that time to rest at some point eventually.

So yeah. Sleep in hard over the weekends. Do nothing. Be unproductive. Fuck capitalism and FUCK the Protestant work ethic. I am being so fucking serious right now. This isn't just me repeating what I've heard, this is me sharing things that I've had to learn the hard way over the span of literal fucking years because my dumb ass kept ignoring it too.

You are allowed to, and encouraged to, politely turn down outings with friends and family if you're too tired.

You are allowed to, and encouraged to, take a day off from school or work if you wake up and know in your bones that you are too tired. (Make sure to let your teachers know beforehand. They'll understand. Skipping a day of work is a whole nother can of radioactive horses that I don't want to open right now but others here may have advice. Check the notes.)

You are allowed to, and encouraged to, do nothing.

You are allowed to, and encouraged to, be "lazy" (if you're not enjoying the forced time off, you're not being lazy).

If you can only do the bare minimum to take care of yourself (i.e making low-effort meals, only using the bathroom twice a day, etc) then that's okay too. The more you rest, the more energy you'll slowly build up to do more things like going to the grocery store so that you don't starve and getting those assignments done and taking an extra two minutes to make yourself a glass of something warm in the mornings so that you don't want to die quite as much. Also, when you can, ask your friends for a script and call your doctor about prescribing you depression medication because I love you and this is not normal and you deserve better.

Living life is not supposed to make you want to die, and surviving is not the same as living.

your body has a built in hierarchy of needs and at the top of the list is creating things, which you can only do once you're at a certain level of energy and wellness. if something's wrong, your drive to create will be the first to go.

it's scary, but you'll be okay

be gentle and kind to yourself. imagine that your brain and body is a horse: kicking it when it's down and yelling at it to move won't help. you have to meet it where it's at and feed it and comfort it until it's ready to move on again. you can't write trail songs if you've got no path to roam

this quickly spiraled out of my hands but i am very passionate about this subject and also i love u. good luck.

[farfromstrange]

A small update from yours truly—and a little over sharing, so I’m putting it under the cut.

I've been in an awful mindset these past couple of weeks since I was diagnosed with PCOS. I haven’t talked about it yet because it’s hard for me to even think about. But the fatigue and the pain are getting worse again, even with the supplements I’m taking so far, and I wanted to share it with you so you know what’s going on. My doctor referred me to another doctor, but the earliest they could get me in was January. Until then, I have to deal with the symptoms on my own. I honestly thought once I knew what was wrong I’d get better, but learning that chronic illness is actually chronic is a really hard pill to swallow. It’s manageable once you figure shit out, but getting a doctor’s appointment these days and being taken seriously when you can’t stomach birth control is like the Hunger Games. You have to be really fucking insistent when you want to get things done.

I’m still slowly working my way out of my writer’s block, and I'm proud of myself for getting there. I'm trying not to set expectations for myself and just take it one day at a time, which is working so far. I think I’m writing more consciously now, too. As someone who needs to create because she has too many thoughts it can get frustrating to burn out so quickly, but at least I’m starting to have fun with writing again (thanks to the DDBA trailer I’m still not over and it’s been idk how long you guys feel me).

On a slightly better note though, and the reason I’m writing this is that I’ve been spending the past two weeks since my last post preparing for vacation. I’m flying to Croatia on Sunday for a few days, which I very much need after the year I’ve had so far. I’m taking the time to recharge before I have another module exam at the end of September. So, I probably won’t be posting a lot the next two weeks, BUT I am writing. I just don’t have enough time to edit anything to the point I can comfortably post it. I will, however, use the time I have to catch up on some reading and do some reblogging. It’s a good use of my flight time, plus my parents will be driving back so I’ll have twelve hours to kill in the car. And who knows, maybe I can finish at least one update before I have to head to the airport. Just wanted to let you know that I’m not gone again, I just really need that vacation before I have my last exam this semester. After that, I have almost three weeks of nothing, which means I'll be able to focus on myself, my health, and my writing.

I’m also writing this to tell you guys I will definitely be participating in Kinktober again this year, though I decided to put a little twist to it. Last year was fun, but I want to do it a little differently this time. I’m currently working something out, and the announcement will come sometime in the next couple of weeks!

Maybe a different climate will give me some more writing inspiration, too. Thank you guys for reading this far. Take care of yourselves 🤍

[agustdiv1ne]

honestly? it could've been worse.

lots of things happened in 2023, both good and bad, in real life and on this hellsite. i feel like i've started to hone in on my voice as a writer this year, and my creativity and motivation just seemed to skyrocket for absolutely no reason. it's been fun sharing my work with you guys, and i'm forever grateful for all the love and support i have received <3 furthermore, thank you so so much for 4k followers!!!!! i never thought i would reach such a milestone, so it truly means a lot :')

there's a lot i wish i could have done during 2023 that i didn't end up doing, but i think it is best to focus on what i did accomplish and use that as a stepping stone towards better things. also, there were a lot of times where i didn't feel content with where and who i was. right now, however, i can confidently say that i am happy; i am hoping that happiness will be abundant for everyone in 2024! we all deserve it!!

furthermore, everyone worked hard, so i hope you all give yourself some grace in order to recharge and reset. taking breaks is paramount in maintaining your health and happiness, and i'm glad i learned that it's okay for me to take them lol.

so happy new year everyone! i hope 2024 brings many wonderful things your way, and may we all have a lovely year!! <33

to: @gummygowon 🖤

MAIIII hi ilysm <333 i can't believe we've been friends for 3 years like that's fucking crazy. we have both been THROUGH it over the years but i'm so glad that we've always been able to talk to each other about the crazy shit that happens to both of us 😹 like idk who else i could talk about it with honestly. we are seriously like the same person which is so wild to me but i'm also so grateful for it fr!! i would trust you with my life methinks...also talking about fic ideas with you is so fucking fun. our brainstorming sessions go crazy fr ‼️ ANYWAYS i need to stop being sappy so i love you bitch and we WILL meet up this year or else i will riot!!! happy new year <3

to: @lunalovesstories 🖤

lunaaaa hii!!!! my fellow yeonjun stan, we feel the same pain and suffering whenever he is wilding LOL </3 also i feel like we became close super fast hehe ^^ i'm so glad that we became friends this year and i am forever grateful for you and how kind and supportive and overall amazing you are. becoming moots and friends with you was definitely one of my highlights of 2023!! our daily conversations are something i always look forward to no matter how short or long they are; i truly love talking with you and i hope we can continue to get closer this year :) happy new year! <33

to: @cheolhub 🖤

SAR!!!! ik you haven't been super active as of late so i hope you've been well <3 you are genuinely so cool and i love you sm. i think i screamed when we became moots and then when we started actually talking to each other i screamed even more...embarrassing. well anyways moving on! you are so fucking funny and i love hearing about what you're up to whenever you reappear on disc. you singlehandedly made me reconsider my bias line in svt bc cheol is currently infiltrating it </3 also lmk if you ever need me to fight that girl bc i will do it. no questions asked. seriously though, i hope you're thriving in the year of 2024, happy new year <3

to: @toruro 🖤

mika mika mika hiiiii ^^ you are crazy in the best way tbh, i aspire to be as unhinged as you are...LMAO moving on, you are hella kind and such a fun person to talk to! i love hearing about what you get up to bc it's usually funny af. like. you are just so real. you are such a bright spot on tumblr, please never change because you are amazing and ilysm <3 also your writing is insane. i always start gnawing on my leg when i see that you posted bc i know it's gonna be a banger!!!! you never miss!!!!!!! okay anyways ily again and i hope you have a happy new year <3

to: @prodsh00ky 🖤

hi sam!!!!!!! i hope you've been doing well <3 i know our convos are sporadic af but i always enjoy talking to you and hearing all of your updates! i just think you're so cool and i always get so excited whenever i see you pop up in my messages. i also love talking about writing with you because you understand my pain LOL. i know you're quite busy so i hope everything in your life is going well!! i also hope that 2024 brings you great things because you truly deserve it :) happy new year!!!

to: @koqabear 🖤

sol....my enemy >:( i will not forget all of those assassination attempts that you tried on me throughout 2023. trust me, i won't. JK ANYWAYS HFJHHFDJ you are like the coolest most awesome person on this website to me and i am so grateful that we are friends <3 also grateful that we started talking this year after being moots for a long while. i've always wanted to talk to you tbh so i'm glad i stopped being a weak little bitch and finally did it 😹 i will always go insane over your fics and write like a 2k word essay in response each time, so i hope that doesn't bother you...i will not be stopping though so ig it doesn't matter.......anyways, happy new year!! here's to another year on this hellsite <3

to: @boba-beom 🖤

smiles!!! you are such a ray of light on my dash, i swear i always smile when i see that you've posted. i know we don't talk all that often but i genuinely am so grateful that we are mooties n friends :> you are one of my longest moots, and i am so glad that you have stayed on here as long as you have because idk what i would do without you fr <3 you are so talented and kind and just a wonderful person to be around! happy new year!! may you be happy n healthy this year <33

and to all of my lovely mutuals: @nightlyawnzz @wolfytae-exe @aduh0308 @hyuk4ngel @dearlyjun @takemehye @mazeinthemoon @tyunkus @mixtape-racha @huckleberrykai @naomiarai @hyukalyptus @mapofthemazeinthemirror @taegimood @blackhairedjjun @txtistheloml @heart2beom @majestyjun @fairyofshampgyu @ttyunz @huenation @cherrypeeking @tyungelic @ncteez @peachanonie @hyewka @heartchoi @beom-pyu @petrichor-han @hoshiseon @strawbrinkofdeath @delcakoo @beoms-sugar @minastras @0x11s @hwasdollie @mimziie @baekhvuns @wooyukh @venusiangguk @ah-ga-seven @jimilter @ateezmakemeweep

hello and happy new year!! i hope all of you doing well and that 2024 is treating you well so far :) no matter how much/little we interact, please know that i am so happy to be sharing this space with you ^^ that being said, i hope we can interact more this year!!! (i promise i will try to be less shy,, the keyword here is try) you are all amazing people and i love you all mwahhh <333

🖤 — january

27: give me more (m) — yeonjun ; est. relationship au, pwp

🩶 — february

regrettably empty :(

🤍 — march

23: 10:52 p.m. — soobin ; college au, introverts at a party

🖤 — april

04: frat boy!yeonjun

07: confession — chan ; best friends to lovers au + self-care (m) — seonghwa ; est. relationship au, soft smut

08: corruption (m) — hyunjin ; est. relationship au, corruption kink

11: stormy night (m) — seonghwa ; est. relationship au, hwa vs. your fear of storms (he wins)

13: industry lovers — yeonjun ; strangers to lovers au, idol!reader

16: guitar lesson — beomgyu ; best friends to lovers au

21: 2:54 p.m. — taehyun ; college lab partner au

🩶 — may

09: picnic date with boyfriend!yeonjun

16: brother's best friend (m) — yunho ; the au is the title lmfao + 10:21 p.m. (m) — soobin ; est. relationship au, car sex + early mornings with boyfriend!yeonjun

19: vacationing with boyfriend!yeonjun

27: 8:02 p.m — hueningkai ; jack frost au

28: cowboy!yeonjun (m-ish)

🤍 — june

01: double trouble (m) — hongjoong + seonghwa ; poly au

03: 9:05 p.m. (m) — yeonjun ; plane sex pt.1

06: 9:23 p.m. (m) — yeonjun ; plane sex pt.2

13: the horrors — yeonjun ; est. relationship au, horror actress!reader

23: txt finding out you have an onlyfans (m)

24: late night outing with boyfriend!soobin

26: dry humping (m) — minho ; pwp

🖤 — july

04: meeting odi for the first time with boyfriend!soobin

08: 12:43 a.m. (m) — yeonjun ; best friends to lovers au + best friend!txt finding out you write smut about them online

started my 3k event: love like the movies!! (which is still ongoing. i'm so sorry)

13: 3k event — yeonjun + howl's moving castle (m)

17: 3k event — beomgyu + titanic (m)

24: 3k event — taehyun + twilight (m)

31: 3k event — hueningkai + enchanted

🩶 — august

05: 11:01 p.m. (m) — yeonjun ; rockstar au + 3k event — soobin + the avengers

11: 11:58 p.m. (m) — yeonjun + taehyun ; stoner fratboys au

26: 3k event — taehyun + the proposal (m)

🤍 — september

02: 3k event — beomgyu + the devil wears prada (m)

12: ticket to nowhere (but your heart) (m) — yeonjun ; strangers to lovers au

21: untitled (m) — beomgyu ; college au, tutor!reader

22: untitled (m) — taehyun ; college au, nerd!taehyun

🖤 — october

03: telepathy (m) — beomgyu ; mind reader au

23: 3:13 a.m. (m) — beomgyu ; vampire au

🩶 — november

07: 9:51 p.m. (m) — soobin ; serial killer au

🤍 — december

started my 4k event: finish my 3k event LMAO

🖤 — writing plans

get my 3k (and now 4k?) event done (#1 priority after i finish my current soobin wip)

rings of saturn (tear me apart) (m) — taehyun ; college au, friends to lovers au

going under (m) — taehyun + kai ; surfers!tyunning, summer fling au

and they were roommates! (m) — choi line ; college au, new roommate!reader

cross (m) — yeonjun ; cyberpunk au, cyborg!yeonjun

wait on me — kai ; college au, cafe au

the language of love (and the woes that accompany it) — beomgyu ; soulmate au

love, unabridged — soobin ; single dad au, neighbors to lovers au

adagio (m) — yoongi ; second chance at romance au

art incarnate (m) — namjoon + seokjin ; cursed!seokjin, museum curator!namjoon, love triangle

and many many more..........you will see. this is just a taste >:)

🩶 — goals for this blog + myself

interact with more ppl! and more often!!

write 150k words?? we'll see...

write longer fics!!

plan a collab event ^^ i've always wanted to host one, and i think this year is the year!

that was long as hell (sorry)...anyways! once again, happy new year!! love you all <3

- ashlee

p.s. check out my 2023 fic recs post here :)

[thesolarangel]

My shadows

Elrond x reader

(no gender mentioned, no pronouns) · Rating: G · 838 words · No warnings · NO descriptions of panic attacks or similar stuff! No use of Y/N. Sorry for abusing the “...” haha. This fanfic is set in winter! I just needed the ultra cozy vibes for this one. 

summary: Elrond notices that you’re struggling even though you’re trying so hard to hide it. He helps you get through a rough patch.

Also on AO3

Elrond has noticed that there was something off with you recently. You reacted irritably when being asked questions, you had dark circles under your eyes from lack of sleep and you didn’t seem like your usual self.

He goes to your chambers to check on you. He finds you laying on the chaise in the middle of the day, wrapped in a blanket and staring out of the window with a blank face.

“Hey, sweetheart”, he greets you in a warm tone.

You don’t answer and just wrap the blanket tighter around your body.

“Forgive me, I don’t mean to pry, but I’m honestly worried about you… Is there anything I can do for you?” Elrond sits down on the end of the chaise and strokes your thigh gently.

“No!” you snap at him. Shit. You immediately regret it. Societal pressure has been gnawing at you in addition to you struggling mentally. Elrond didn’t have anything to do with this. Tears are forming in your eyes and you squeeze them shut to try to force them away. “I’m so sorry.” you whisper with a trembling voice. 

“It’s okay. This wasn’t directed at me personally, even if I was the one to hear it…” 

He shifts closer and starts stroking your head.

“Your health matters, meleth nín. Body and mind. If you were to break a bone or fall ill with a terrible cold, you would give your body the rest it needs, wouldn’t you?” He smiles at you kindly. “You tell your friends they should look after themselves and take the time and rest they need to recharge… try to apply that to yourself… please.”

“It’s too h–hard… “ And this time, your voice breaks and you start to cry.

“Well, then I’ll help you.” 

Elrond holds you in his arms and lets you sob uncontrollably. “Let it all out, love, it’s okay.”

And all the feelings you’ve been avoiding for the past weeks come crashing down on you. You cry and cry and cry and Elrond holds you, strokes over your hair, caresses your back… 

After a while he begins to softly sing in Sindarin… He has a beautiful voice. Low and melodic he sings while he holds you… The song is unfamiliar to you, but it has a soothing power and you can feel it flow through your body as it slowly regulates your nervous system. The tears are gone and you truly feel better, more balanced, but there’s still this lingering sense of uncertainty and you’re not sure how to move on…

Then Elrond speaks anew: “Meleth nín, please know that this too, shall pass. You might feel like this intense hopelessness and these dark intrusive thoughts will never leave you. But I promise you, they will. You will be your usual funny, cheerful, creative self again.

I am so proud of you. You are such a kind, wonderful person and your friends love you so much.

You don’t need to carry all of this on your own. You can ask for help. I can help you take the weight off. I’m here for you, love.” He places a gentle kiss on your forehead. You look up to him and give him a small smile. His words mean a great deal to you. He’s always there for you no matter what. And you trust him.

“So… what do you say about a warm bath? While I make you some food?” he asks hopefully.

“A bath sounds amazing actually…” you answer hoarsely. All this crying has done a number on your voice.

“I’m glad. Then I’ll get it ready for you and you choose something comfortable to wear afterwards, alright?”

Elrond runs you a bath with your favorite essential oils and lights some candles in the bathroom so that you have it extra cozy.

You greatly enjoy soaking in the warm water and it smells so good. After a good half hour you’re starting to get a little sleepy so you get out of the bath, dry yourself off and put on some soft nightwear.

When you get back to your living room chamber, you see that Elrond is already waiting for you. He has set up a little picnic with a big blanket and some pillows in front of the burning fireplace. There’s fresh bread with cheese, some sweet and salty snacks that you like and some hot chocolate. 

The two of you enjoy your meal together and you talk a little here and there, Elrond doesn’t pressure you and there’s always more time to talk tomorrow. You share some of the things you’ve been struggling with and he listens to you closely and offers his thoughts if you like. 

Talking about this makes you feel lighter and you slowly get sleepy again. Before you can drift off on the floor in your living room, he takes you to bed and holds you in his arms while you fall asleep. That night, you don’t dream at all, you sleep through the night like a log.

____

tag list: @fenharel-enaste @queenmeriadoc @starlady66 @elronds-pointy-ears @bananaphanta @runawaymun @thetempleofthemasaigoddess @lady-of-imladris @mistergandalf

[yosajaeofficial]

JUNE UPDATE

WASSUP BROS AND HOES, IT’S ME, YOSA FRICKING JAE. BACK AT IT AGAIN WITH ANOTHER UPDATE ABOUT THE JMC 🔥🔥🔥‼️‼️‼️

Last time, I remember saying it’ll be different and things will spice up, and I am indeed gonna provide more stuff piled into these updates because the debut comic is taking so long. I wanna make sure you all get full when consuming these updates instead of being like “oh, nothing happened lol”. I have a good chunk of shit to talk about that’s outside of the comic itself, but it’s like behind the scene stuff about it :3

With that out of the way, let’s finally get started!

The Comic

(W.I.P OF THE OFFICAL DEBUT COMIC)

The comic is slowly making progress, the first thing that’s changing is me showing progress of the comic itself and giving ya’ll w.i.ps in order for me to give you guys content to look over, and because I just want ya’ll to see it yk? The honest truth is that it’s moving slow because of burnout. It was huge and made me wanna give up on the comic and leave the fandom, I was struggling for a good while but my best friend told me it was best to take a break and recharge instead of pushing further. They told me to do something else so I can regain my motivation and passion for the project, and she was right, because I’ve been having fun hanging out, watching her play Stardew Valley, and letting loose without the pressure for the debut comic to come out. I have to prioritize my health and well-being before anything else, and I know the comic will be done!

Also for you all to know, the team I had disbanded, and right now I don’t have a full official one to help with the debut. I have amazing friends that have helped look over the script, one did some sketch compositions, one helped fix up grammar in the script. They helped me greatly and I’m so grateful for them and their loving support even through all of the rough patches. For the most part, I’ve been doing everything on my own, and it can get stressful easily because of how much I’ve had to change my plans and shuffle around when the team disbanded. I’ve been the one doing the scripting, sketches, lineart, color, management, and just everything. Even if I try to act like things are fine behind the scenes, I definitely got more anxious and depressed after events occurred, so this break (not hiatus) has helped me recharge after going through a bit for this comic. To end this section on a good note, I’m feeling so much better and I’m recharging absolutely greatly, I even renewed my love for Donnie after a friend drew him 🦐 Sooooo…The JMC is still in good hands.

Bonus Content: The Villain

YosaJae, what is this? This is the section that’s hella new, the place where I show you guys some cool concept art, ideas, and plots that show the origins of the JMC or even scrapped/cut content. Today we’re gonna talk about the villain of Arc 1. Fun fact, two were created at the same time but one of them was finalized to be the primary villain for Arc 1!

(First ever concept art of Archie Gomez)

Here he is! The cat himself, ✨Archie✨ I needed some variety and needed an anthropomorphic character since Rise has lots of their mutants and yokai. Archie was a character that was a lot more serious and hella threatening but he was toned down after more arcs were created. For some reason, I included freckles because I originally thought, “Ginger people…..” then included the freckles to make him more recognizable. Let’s just say that they weren’t as rememberable as I thought because I forgot them after a while-

Fun fact, Archie was originally gonna be a native Spanish speaker but not be able to speak English. The actual conflict was gonna be about the turtles and Archie fighting due to language miscommunication, but it was later scrapped because of the issue with translating each of his sentences and being truly accurate with his dialogue. He also at first was a one off character that would never return, but he was popular that he became the reoccurring bad for Arc 1.

(Archie Gomez Evolution 2022-2024)

Archie had went through a good bit of design changes over the years and I changed him to be more easier to draw by giving him a more unique silhouette by drawing his head as a pentagon instead of a circle. The transition was at first a circle to triangle, but then the shape was too complicated to recreate so I had to go with a pentagon (as an accident at first too). That changed him A LOT but I was hella happy with the way he turned out because he started to look more unique and iconic. Pretty cool, eh~?

Aaaand that’s it! Thank you all for stopping by and coming in to read this update! I hope it was fun to go through and very refreshing. I wanna make my updates more like this instead of what was said above. Especially because this is taking so long, I wanna be able to go over behind the scenes with you all since ya’ll at least deserve that; I can’t keep being mysterious about the comic since it is taking years for it to be made, but it’s trial and error so I gotta do this in order for it to be worth the progress. I’m strong, I can do this! Hopefully your day/night is amazing, and take care until next time 😋🫶💜

[trickstarbrave]

Do you play modded Morrowind? And if so what mods would you recommend for a first time player?

I’ve been keen on playing for a while (I believe I mentioned Dagoth Ur visiting me in a dream and telling me to play Morrowind) but I’m not touching the unintuitive mess of polygons that is the base game with a thirty foot pole. I’ve beaten both Skyrim and Oblivion, vanilla and modded, and am curious about mods that would improve the graphics and gameplay specifically.

Honestly the gameplay of Morrowind is not that difficult. It gets a reputation for being impossible bc of ppl not rly looking up manuals and games not coming with them anymore. But I’ll give some tips:

You need to manage fatigue. Unlike in say, skyrim, your fatigue informs a lot of stuff and will be used up by anything from running to swinging your weapon. If you’re low on fatigue you won’t be able to hit anything (much like how if you have low magicka you can’t really use spells as well). Keeping stamina up will ensure you can hit things. Walk places and try not to jump everywhere (running around and jumping in cities is usually fine and will help you level up athletics and shit. Just don’t do that and break the law)

Do not spam attack. Trust me I also love doing this but it’s ineffective. Hold down the mouse button to charge attacks to increase damage, which will be more economical for stamina benefit. Done weapons have dif kinds of attacks, and with spears having a bit of distance will increase your damage.

If you’re playing a mage, get comfortable with spell making. Pretty much every spell merchant will have an option to make custom spells. Once you buy a spell to learn that effect you can make spells and enchantments with it.

There are no map markers sadly. Have the UESP up on your phone, they’ll provide guides and they have a map of Vvardenfell that’s rly good. Sometimes the directions in Morrowind suck but usually they’re bad on purpose. Because ppl in Morrowind can be assholes and they want you to fuck off and die. I have a god awful sense of direction but tbh I’ve gotten the hang of Vvardenfell. There’s also local maps that can be useful. The only place I can’t fucking find easily is this one ashlanders tomb you’re sent on to get the bow for the msq it’s insufferably annoying to find. Otherwise places are on some kind of path most of the time.

Pick a race that matches the skills you want and pick skills you plan to use. You can min max or make weird challenging builds like a nord wizard when you’ve gotten the hang of it. Dunmer are good overall builds that incorporate both magicka and melee. If you hate your build you can use console commands on pc to redo your race and skills. (Only once per session, if you wanna do it again save your game, quit, and reload)

Factions have skill requirements. You’ll have to be good at magic to be a mage and good at fighting in the fighter’s guild. Some factions are also mutually exclusive. Pick factions with skills you want to use

Stealing sucks in this game. I’m not gonna lie it really sucks imo

Npcs and enemies can’t go thru doors

There is no map based easy fast travel. However there are silt striders, boats, the mages guide, mark and recall spells, and intervention spells. ALMSIVI intervention takes you to the nearest tribunal temple, divine intervention takes you to the nearest imperial cult shrine, mark you set a location and recall you go back to it. The spells you can also get on amulets or other items. You can use these in combat to bail

Enchanted items recharge over time

Alteration is my favorite school of magic in Morrowind. You can levitate (needed for Telvanni towers and makes getting around vivec city easier) and walk on water and water breathe.

There’s no leveled loot or enemies really. If enemies are too hard in a location you either new dif gear or need to level up more.

You can soup trap your own summons. And summon multiple things at once. Conjugation can be really fun. Typically you can only have one summons of a type at a time but you can get multiples of you like cast a spell and also use an item

Containers have limits to how much they can hold. Dead bodies don’t

You should despawn corpses you don’t need or else they clutter up the game and make it run like ass. There’s a button for it called “dispose of corpse” when you check the inventory

Get creative there’s some rly funny ways to deal with things

Save often there’s way less auto saving

As for mods I have a few that I think make gameplay and graphics a bit better:

Personally I don’t use openmw I use graphics extender and a script extender. But YMMV

Stamina regen mod so I can run without worrying abt stamina management. And magicka regen bc I’m lazy, and a health regen one. But technically you can enchant items to continuously regen health, magicka, and stamina, it’s just annoying to get the soul gems for them and they’re expensive.

Beautiful cities of Morrowind is my fav city overhaul mod but it can be annoying to install ngl. Just don’t install it mid playthru it’ll get kinda weird.

I also use a grass mod bit that can also be annoying to set up. And an Ashlands tree mod.

Various retexture mods. I don’t think you need specific recommendations. I’d pick the ones you like the most. I think there’s dif categories so look at weapons, armor, enemies, static items. There’s a face and hair overhauls mod but it was REALLYYYYYYYYYY annoying to get working so. Good luck if you decide to use that one.

Tamriel rebuilt isn’t finished but it adds mainland Morrowind into the game and it’s fun if you want more Morrowind

Get the pet the damn scrib mod

Carryweight mod but that’s bc I’m a pack rat and hoarder

You can try to get a mod that removes hit chance. Other Morrowind fans will tell you absolutely don’t do that bc “it goes against the spirit of the game” but I’m not one of those. Idc about playing fair in single player games. I just have never seen any that work right. And also if you manage your fatigue and chose skills you intend to use it doesn’t rly matter

Otherwise get mods when you notice smth in the gameplay bugging you. I’ve also gotten one that increases the enchantment limit (oh right there’s like a value to each item that determines the strength of the enchantments you can put on it)

[wundergeek]

As a level 100 Extrovert married to a level 100 Introvert, the pandemic forced us to create some real weird coping mechanisms.

Like. Something we started fairly early in the pandemic was me retiring to our bedroom one evening per week to remote-watch Star Trek with friends while pretending not to be home, because it was the only way we could recreate the feeling of me having gone out for the evening while our kid was asleep so that he could have the house to himself, while also giving ME an outlet for my Frustrated Extrovert energy that wasn't HIM.

[Sidebar: It's been my experience that people at extreme ends of the introvert/extrovert scale are very rare. However, they do exist (hi), and extreme opposites always marry each other.]

And honestly, it was really helpful identifying a thing I could DO to help my husband recharge - because that shit gets very non-obvious when you're co-parenting a twelve year old.

I still pretend not to be home just about every Saturday (I just move my computer upstairs and play FFXIV). But also, it's a thing I can offer when I can tell he's really over-peopled. Like, this weekend he's done tabletop roleplaying Friday night and tonight, and we supervised half-day outings with friends of our daughter both yesterday and today - which were great, but holy shit twelve year olds talk SO MUCH. So after our virtual tabletop session full of hilarity and wacky hijinx ended, I was like, why don't I vibe with my laptop upstairs while you detox? And. Like. I'm pretty sure that lots of people would think that's weird. But whatever. We've been together literally TWENTY FIVE YEARS so. It's weird, but it works.

[transingthoseformers]

So, I once said that Too Sweet by Hozier would be a PERFECT song from Mirage and Noah and their dynamic, and I have scaled TikTok and found something that would potentially be in Mirage's POV if he was singing this song, I modified it a little but bear with me while I pick it apart: "My friends like say that I'm an early bird, I'm up at seven with my vision blurred" So boom, first line. I once talked about Mirage not being able to dream, but instead plays memory files. However, he can't willingly choose which files play - and majority, it's bad ones. So, his "vision being blurred" could say how it takes longer for him to refocus his vision after being put in a memory of being in the middle of a war. Also, people saying Mirage is such an early bird because of how he gets up from recharging just as the sun is rising, when in reality, Mirage's battery is on 87% at best T0T

"Why care what hour I'm awake? Baby, your mistake: You keep saying that I'm living right, just 'cause I sleep before the daylight." Now, this line would probably be a little directed towards Noah. I can imagine Noah or his Ma saying how Mirage must be going to bed at earlier times, hell maybe Noah's mom telling Noah that he "could learn a thing or two from Mirage" and Mirage just awkwardly laughing like he didn't start recharging until 3 in the morning.

"But I'm awake at every sunrise. I taught myself how to pretend." It's in his name. Mirage, which means an illusion or something not real. And this could go with Mirage who used to be a spy, being taught and teaching himself how to pretend to get a mission done. Or in this case, so people don't see how actually dysfunctional and bitter the real Mirage is.

"But again and again: Dude, I seem wake up, dark as a lake. My wires just dangling, my mind in a haze." This brings into my HC that Mirage dissociates as a coping mechanism. Whether that be from memories or from himself, thus how his mind feels like it's "in a haze" or some kind of fog.

"I'm not drunk of life, babe. I just hide in the taste." THIS. Mirage literally admitting he doesn't enjoy life one bit, but sees it as an end-all, be-all. He could care less about his own life, but won't actively try to take it. Mirage is most likely always lectured by Optimus about how he doesn't cherish or take care of his life, and at one point, Mirage just outwardly said "I don't give a shit about my life." but managed to play it off later as a way to get under Prime's skin, and definitely not because he genuinely wouldn't care if he died the next day.

"But while in this world; I just can't take my whiskey neat, or my coffee black in my bed at three. I need something sweet; I need something sweet." This is the other side of the coin of Noah's bitter-drink addiction. How he literally needs his coffee in the morning, or he cannot function, it's the same with Mirage. He needs something sweet, needs something to distract from the bitter taste in his mouth every time he gets another memory file of how he put another autobot offline, ripped another person from their family just to get a mission done and distract himself from the fact he wasn't even in the ballpark of a good person BEFORE that. Maybe that's why he made such a great spy, he was already used to worming people's secrets out with ease.

"But you take your whiskey neat. Sipping black coffee while you fix a tv, and I've got places to be. Acting like I'm just so sweet." This is also in reference to Noah, how he's more dysfunctional and more "bitter" while other people and bots don't notice it from Mirage. Notice how sometimes his jokes land a bit different, fuller in malice when he's in a bad mood, how his tone grows dark when Cybertron is mentioned, how once Noah saw Mirage fully awake at 4 o'clock in the morning when he was supposed to be recharging, the dry sarcasm when he gets comfortable with Noah during late nights in the garage. Everyone expects Mirage to act a certain way but sometimes that's all it is; a mirage. And Mirage could stop at any time, but acting is something that he's used to. It's his comfort zone, and stepping out of it, that would be more vulnerable than anything he's ever known.

Exactlyyyy, they've got such a dynamic and the song is a good song (even though I don't know too much about Hozier, only two songs)

[lraerosesims]

Hey, hi, hello, greetings, sul sul!

So I know I've been a little quiet lately on the Sims CC front, so I thought I'd update you all on what stage I'm up to on each project:

1. The Elderwood Manor Build

I was working on testing this build for functionality etc, and tried to test in different spots in the neighbourhood, and that's when I discovered some broken terrain in the back of the lot (where the terrain slopes from road height to the beach). I've tried to fix it, haven't had any success yet. So I may end up having to either:

Do more heavy research on how to repair just the broken part - putting off uploading it until fixed, or

Remaking the build as close as possible to how it currently looks but on a flatter beach lot to avoid breaking terrain

Either way, it's unfortunately not ready to post for you all to enjoy just yet, I'M SORRY!!! 😭😭😭 I was really hoping to post it but I'd rather not give you guys a broken lot.

I haven't made basically any progress on this outfit since I last shared a texture WIP here. No excuse really, just taking on too much for my little pea-sized brain to handle and can feel the ADHD burnout creeping in so I don't wanna push myself too hard. Making my CC textures is exhausting, and takes a very big toll on ye olde✨mental✨ so I promise it will get done, but I just require some time to recharge so that way I can share the best possible retextures for you all to enjoy.

2. The Harlow Jumpsuit outfit

This one is about 75 to 80% complete. It's another very time consuming project, with the screen recording, video editing, voice over recording, blah blah blah. The biggest problem I have is that I feel the need to announce when I'm working on something (to build interest and anticipation for what's to come) but then take ages to finish it - which leaves people wondering if I'm just full of shit or actually going through with it 😂😂but I promise the tut is happening still!

3. Retexturing YouTube Tutorial

Don't expect this one anytime this decade🤣 I have no idea what I'm doing so I'm winging it entirely. Watch this space though, because who knows maybe I'll just magically find the willpower and mental capacity to figure it all out.

4. Stretched earlobe mesh

And...5. Whatever this hair is

So I did a recolour of a base game hair to make an undercut bun hairstyle (that's accurate to my real life five-head)...not sure if anyone would ever even want this in their game. So far I haven't gotten around to binning it, or even making it in different hair colours. It's also just using a Maxis texture I stole from a different hair and reworked to fit this one. But anyway, that one...exists...for some ungodly reason 😅😂

If you read this far, and haven't given up on me or this page yet then I'm eternally grateful (and slightly confused, but I won't question your intentions 😝)

To be honest with you all, I've got a heap of stressful shit going on in the real worldz right now so bear with me and I'll eventually work through the current projects I'm yet to finish.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤 - L'Rae

[callsignmist]

Quiet and sneaky.

AFAB!reader x The Ink Demon

Smut!!!

"CRAP!" I thought themself. "WHY are there so many lost ones here?! I wont be able to beat them all..

I just need to sneak around."

I crouched down and started to sneak through. I banished a few lost ones, and got caught twice but i managed to stay alive. (Yes ik. its the lost ones BUT THERE WERE LIKE 20 OF THEM OKAY?)

Finally I came to the end of the hallway. There was a balcony with a vending machine and a gent recharge station so I climbed up. There still were many lost ones around me so I couldn't make alot of noise. I used my slugs and bought myself some food.

All of the sudden I hear scratches and whispers.

Fuck. The ink demon is coming.

And there were no lockers, or miracle stations anywhere.

He came from behind, and leaned in. I stood still.

"There you are... I've been looking all over for you~"

"What do you need?" I ask him, not exactly harshly or shaky, but with a calm trembling voice. (if ya get ma jist)

"I am hungry. And i need something to play with.

I tracked your smell. You smell so...alluring~"

I weirdly blushed at that.

"How about i play with you, right here?~"

Here?

I mean. He has done this before, so I guess...

.

.

HERE?

"Here?! W-wait we can't! The lost ones! They will hear everythi-"

Before i can finish my sentence, a large hand grabs my face and lifts it up.

"I am the ink demon. I rule this realm.

I do not care if some puny peasants see me. I can do WHATever i want. And i do not like to be told no."

"B-but-" I try so say, but i get pushed up against the wall. I wince at he pain.

"Don't tempt me human. I am more that capable of breaking you. Don't test your luck."

"O-okay.."

I close my eyes. Okay, its gonna be okay.

I just have to be qui-

Before i can even process that i wanted to think, a large tentacle pulls down my pants and touches my inner thigh, slowly sliding upwards.

Then another one appears, going under my shirt and wraps itself around my breast and tugging the nipple slightly. I hum softly as i feel another

Tentacle touching me. And with a quick movement, it slides inside me making me gasp loudly.

I hear a voice from underneath. "Shit. Gotta be quiet-ahhh~" i feel the tentacle start to thrust in. I quickly bite my lip as to not make noise, however the creature that stood behind me grabbed my other breast and leaned closer to me again. He started to whisper gently in my ear:

"No need to me shy my dear. I want the whole studio that you belong to me~" and he bites my neck, licking (read: kissing)and suckling on it. I moan.. maybe a bit too loud because someone from underneath starts yelling. The trusting gets harder, and so does your breathing. Icould feel the orgasm nearing. "Fuck" i moan/whisper.

"I- i am-" Before i could finish the tentacle was pulled out of me. I groan in annoyance and suddenly

I was turned onto my back. There were tentacles wrapping around my legs, tying them up and holding them. My hands were also tied. The demon smiled at me.

"Don't worry dear mortal, we arent finished yet~"

A thicker tentacle is shown into my entrance, roughly pulling out and back in. I moan loudly. The ink demon itself starts

Licking whatever part of my skin was visible. Biting my skin and leaving a mark.

I heard lost ones calling out to one another. Shit.

The tentacle kept pumping into me faster and faster. I started to tear up.

Then another Tentacle wrapped around my ass, groping it. I whined, even begged him to continue what he was doing. I was almost at the climax when a long and girthy tounge swiped over my clit. I wailed in pleasure and finally came. I was hot, sticky and tired. But he kept going until a growl was heard and black gooey cum spilled from my body.

"You did good darling.. such a good plaything~" He nuzzles my neck. "Kissing" it lightly and sniffing me. Then the tentacles holding me dissappear, and so does the ink demon. I take a deep breath and pull my pants up. "Where are my underwe-" bitch probably took them. Damn.

I button my pants and fix my shirt. Then I grab my gent pipe and go down the balcony. I was expecting lost ones charging at me but I was greeted by..dead bodies? Then it hit me. "Heh..that Bastard <3" I thought to myself and continued my way, legs still shaky but a big smirk plastered on my face.

[earthstellar]

gaining some weight on Propranolol for tachycardia, as one tends to do (I'm not upset about it, More Mass = More Power lmao hell yeah)

and I just imagine on the alternate Lost Light, First Aid probably prescribes Ratchet some medication for his degenerative condition to help manage his spark energy output a little better (after Drift manages to successfully get Ratchet to actually make an appointment about all the symptoms he's been experiencing)

and as a side effect, Ratchet gains a little more protoform mass

Ratchet doesn't really give a shit because he's well aware that ultimately the medication is beneficial for him even with the additional mass taken into account for his frame type etc.

but Drift LOVES it because he sees it as a sign that his conjunx is finally getting the medical care that he needs, and he makes sure that Ratchet is aware that no matter how his frame might change, Drift absolutely loves it

Ratchet might be heavier and a little slower but overall his spark is managing at a much more stable rate than it had been previously; even if it won't stop the spark damage that's already happened, it does seem to be working to help slow down further progression a bit (and First Aid is monitoring Ratchet with regular appointments like a fucking hawk, which helps)

eventually Ratchet needs a little bit of an armour re-fit to make sure his plating is adjusted to his greater protomass, and he's noticeably wider and rounder even with minimal changes to his actual armour design

but he takes it in stride; he's always been a bigger build than standard for most medics, owing to his wartime work in the field, and he doesn't want to lose his thicker armour "just in case" so he just gets a little chonkier overall

yeah it's a little harder on his joints, but he gets some custom framework done by First Aid and Velocity to help mitigate that, so he's happy with where he's at

and Drift is so happy, he loves that Ratchet is at a good place in his ongoing disease management and he loves the changes to his conjunx's frame

big, round Ratty is warmer and softer in between all his plating, and after a long shift on the bridge, Drift is often spotted curled up next to Ratchet in partial recharge in their favourite booth seat in Swerve's, with Drift resting his helm on his conjunx's chest, arms wrapped around Ratchet's wider middle, warm and cozy and happy together

IDK it's just a very cute image to me, Ratchet finally getting some actual medical care to help manage his condition and Drift loving how fat his Ratty gets because he sees it as a direct physical indicator that First Aid's treatment is helping to at least some degree ;__; <3

Ratchet is fine with it because 1) the benefits outweigh any side effects thus far and it gives him more time operating at a slightly more functional level with his conjunx and 2) Drift is happy about it

(and it also makes it harder for Velocity to try physically moving him out of the medbay whenever he wants to help with paperwork in there, lmao)

and if anyone on board ever has any sparklings, they climb all over Ratchet like a playground because he's big and soft and also can't outrun a group of toddlers who desperately want to see if they can get up on his shoulders and touch his chevron, this is the ultimate goal of Climb Ratchet

(Drift looks for him after a shift and finds him seated in a window port covered in sleeping sparklings and it Does Things To His Spark)

anyway I gotta go to work now, just thought I'd share Fatty Ratty because I fucking love this idea a lot <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

[ana-chronista]

Me again with some Jan/Jure for the kiss promts hehe :))

Could you maybe do …forcefully and ...out of necessity for them (either works fine as well<3)

So my hand slipped and I wrote both...

33. ...forcefully

“What the fuck were you thinking?” Lying there on the hospital bed, arm already in a fresh cast and sling, Jure has the audacity to roll his eyes. “Oh, come on. It's not like I did it on purpose!” “That doesn't matter!” Jan snaps back at him, trying to take a deep breath before his anger becomes full-on fury. They may be in a private side room, alone while the nurse is off sorting out the discharge paperwork, but the door is still slightly ajar and he doubts anyone down the corridor wants to hear him shouting. “Jan, it's not that b- ” “Don’t you tell me – you're lying there with a broken arm and you're trying to tell me me it's not that bad?” He can’t believe how casually Jure is treating this. The panic he’d felt from the phone call – don’t freak out, but can you give me a ride from the hospital? – is still gnawing at the edges of his mind, even though no permanent damage has been done and Jure appears to give precisely zero shits about what’s happened. “Who are you, my mum?” Jure scoffs. “It's really not, it barely hurts – ” “That’ll be the painkillers, which seem to be messing up your take on this.” “Look, if I’d wanted a lecture, I would have called Kris – ” “Yeah, I’d love to see how you’re going to explain this one to him.” Jan says snidely. He wants a front row seat to that show, for sure. “What are we supposed to do with the gigs coming up?” “I don’t know, Rick Allen manages just fine.” Jure shoots back. For a moment, Jan stares him down, hands on hips, until suddenly Jure sighs, flippancy draining and leaving him deflated. “Get a session musician, I guess. I know a few people, and I’m sure Nace has a few connections.” Jan shakes his head, insisting, “That’s not the point, Jure.” “Yeah, OK, I don’t want to let the fans down. Maybe I can still be on stage?” “Also not the point!” He can’t help raising his voice. How does he not get that there are a million and one different scenarios still running through Jan’s head, each worse than the last? “What if you’d landed on your head or something? You could have been hurt way worse!” And just like that, he can see annoyance flooding the other man again. “Yeah, but I didn’t, and I wasn’t! Honestly, I don’t get why you’re making such a huge deal – ” “Oh, for fuck’s sake.” He darts forward, his hands landing on either side of Jure’s jaw to hold him in place and crushes his mouth against his. He pours every last scrap of fear and frustration into it, cutting off every last what if and what now chasing through his head. There’s a spark of satisfaction as Jure shifts his head the fraction he can, mouth falling open beneath Jan’s teeth and tongue. It only lasts a moment before footsteps echo in the hallway. They’re both breathless and panting as they break apart. “There!” Jan hisses, still holding on to Jure’s face as the drummer stares back at him. “Do you understand now? A knock sounds on the door. “Mr. Maček – ” “Jan – ” Jure sounds as dazed as he looks. Jan can feel his jaw clenching as he shakes his head and lets go of Jure. “Later. We’ll talk later.” he says, shoving his hands in his pockets and turning to the window as the nurse comes in clutching Jure’s file.

49. ... out of necessity

“So, the time has come!” Jure announces, startling Jan out of pretending to check his texts to look up and see their new drummer grinning up at him. “For what?” he asks, wondering if he’s missed something. The music and chatter of the party is like a wall of noise blocking off what’s actually happening, and he’s been lurking here in the corner for a good ten minutes trying to recharge his social batteries, beer in one hand and phone in the other. “For us to kiss!” Jure sounds so matter of fact, as though it should be obvious. Jan raises an eyebrow, trying to stay deadpan. “Oh, really?” Jure shrugs. “Well, I’ve already kissed everyone else... Bojan, Kris, Martin, even Matic on his way out.” He ticks them off on his fingers as he goes, leaving one raised that he prods into Jan’s chest. “That just leaves you.” “And what’s this all for? Science?” “Nah, team bonding exercise.” He can’t help but laugh at the flimsy reasoning. “You know, if you wanted to kiss me that much you could’ve just asked.” “Didn’t think I’d need to.” Jure says airily. “Thought you’d make me welcome.” Jan rolls his eyes, unable to help the fond smile tugging at his lips as he slips his phone away. “Well, if that’s how you feel, come here then.” Jure apparently doesn’t need to be told twice. He’s immediately stepping into Jan’s personal space and wrapping his arms around his neck to pull him down, leaning up and meeting him halfway. Jan lets him lead, unsure exactly what he’s going for, but Jure’s lips on his are warm and insistent as he coaxes Jan’s mouth open and then Jan – Jan decides to play him at his own game, wrapping his free arm around Jure’s back to draw him in closer, pushing back as much as Jure is. He lets Jure cup the back of his head and deepen the kiss, but nips back at his bottom lip, enjoying the smallest shudder he feels run through him. Jure was the one to ask for this, of course. He might as well make it memorable for him. It seems like he’s succeeded, because Jure is grinning when they break apart, wide and self-satisfied and very much the cat that got the cream. Jan can’t blame him – he’s feeling quite pleased with himself too, even if he restricts it to a smirk. “Will that do, then?” he asks. Jure uncoils himself from Jan, sliding his hands over his shoulders to his chest before giving him an affectionate nudge. “Hmm, maybe. I don’t know.” His tone is light and teasing, though Jan’s pretty sure he can hear some breathlessness in there too. “I might need more research – I’ll let you know.” And if Jure suggests they go conduct that research somewhere a bit quieter, Jan knows he’ll agree. This party is boring, anyway.