#Non-Affirming
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Imagination is the true reality
There is nothing called 'True reality/ Original reality/ Current reality/ Desired reality'. It all exists in your mind.
Your Consciousnesses.
Your decision to get aware of a certain reality IS your true reality.
'Reality' exists only when there is a perceiver.
There is only consiousness which creates perception.
Things exist only when you become aware of them.
So become aware of your desires which becomes your reality.
That's why the moment you start accepting your desires consciously is when your subconscious reproduces it. People think subconscious is the real shit BUT It is literally the sub of your consciousness. You are the consciousness. Whatever you focus on, your subconscious takes that as truth and reproduces it. You are not tricking your subconscious to thinking you have your desires. You are getting what you want by choosing what you want.
You were always having your desires.
The moment you get aware of your old assumption, you go back to that reality.
Some people feel that it's hard to grasp this (it's not)
that's why loa bloggers say simply that your-
Dominant thoughts create reality.
The moment your dominant thoughts are your desires being manifested, you change your awareness. You change your reality.
People really weren't lying when they say manifesting is literally the easiest thing in the world.
All you have to know is, you were never manifesting.
You always had had your 'desires'.
Now c'mon, do you understand that you were never really desiring or manifesting but waiting. And ofc you can't have your 'desires' when you are waiting to have them.
You are always having. You can't see it because you place your awareness on your old assumptions.
Now, go and actually have your desires.
#affirm and persist#consciousness#loa blog#live in the end#loablr#neville goddard#non duality#barbs111claims#awareness#lester levenson#pure consciousness#conciousness#shifting community#shiftblr#shifting stories#shifting blog#reality shifting#anti shifters dni#master manifestor#loa tumblr#loa success#loass#loassumption#loass states
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A comic I made to remind you that interests aren’t gendered! Like what you want to like! 🏳️⚧️
#lgbtq comics#nonbinary#queer comics#transfem#trans artist#trans comic#non binary artist#affirmations#gender binary#indie comics
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You already understood that! You are already there!
✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩
You already understand that what you believe will reflect in 3D, so why keep scrolling through posts as if something was missing?
demystifying the most common doubts:
If you believe that you can manifest multiple desires at the same time, then you can.
But if you believe that you can't, then you can't.
If you believe that if you think thoughts contrary to your desire it won't affect your manifestation, then it won't.
But if you believe that it will affect, then it will.
If you believe that there’s delay in 3d, then it have.
But if you believe it don’t, then it doesn’t have.
If you believe you need to take action to get what you want, then you need.
But if you believe that you don’t need, then you don’t need.
If you believe it’s easy to get your sp in love with you, then it is.
But if you believe it’s hard, then it’s hard.
You don’t need anybody telling you what you have to believe or not, you decide, you choose your reality!
✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩ ✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩
It is really that simple! Now go and apply what you know, cause it’s already done.
#law of assumption#loa tumblr#loass#loassumption#manifesting#loa#loa blog#neville goddard#manifestation#law of manifestation#loassblr#loass success#loass states#loassblog#loablr#loa success#shiftinconsciousness#shifting motivation#shifting community#reality shifting#4d reality#reality change#desired life#desired reality#non dualism#robotic affirming#affirm and persist#affirmations#assume and persist#shifting blog
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People freaking out when I say I’m nonbinary is so funny. “You’re gonna destroy your body with hormones?! The harm will be irreversible!” Fools. I don’t need HRT to be affirmed. My gender affirming care is dressing like a Y2K femboy. My gender affirming care is swapping my voice between masc and femme every two minutes to cause problems at the family function. My gender affirming care is watching transphobes trip over themselves to try to misgender me but accidentally affirming me in the process. My gender affirming care is pure chaos.
#nonbinary#non binary#non binary pride#enby pride#enby#chaotic gender#gender affirming care#lgbt meme#lgbtqia#lgbtq#trans#transgender#lgbtq pride#gender#gender affirming
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MASTERLIST
(Manifesting that the first panel ends up on the manga 🙏 gojo coming back alive and both him and yuta coming back alive and healthy 🗣️)
How I manifested without beating myself up with routines
Updates on my further manifestation journey
Few more updates on my journey!
Dream life challenge! Get your desires in 30 days!
Void challenge!
Imagination is the true reality
Act like you have it
Self concept affs I use!
My void experiences p1 & 2
Obsessive affirming
My journey
'Of course' method
My take on Loassumption
Self concept: all you need to know (coming soon)
Void state: how it's easy and the community overcomplicates it
Desired appearance: how to be confident and not give af (coming soon)
Reality shifting: a guide (coming soon)
Respawning: why it got a bad reputation
Non dualism: you're " " (Coming soon)
Manifesting with past trauma and mental illnesses (coming soon)
Dealing with trauma whilst manifesting
Living in the end
Manifesting simplified
My mini shift experience!
Something about shifting realities
Wake up call ⚠️
How to fulfill yourself
Thinking 'of' VS thinking 'from'
My coach's respawn success story
Custom tape!
Dopamine strike since y'all just trauma dump
An epiphany I had
Adambja's I am in control tape - my experience!
Law of assumption is a cult?
#law of assumption#neville goddard#reality shifting#loa success#affirmdaily#dream life#manifestations#manifestyourreality#scripting#frequency#loassblog#loass states#loassumption#loass post#void thoughts#voidstate#void#void success#void success stories#non dualism#non duality#advaita vedanta#advaita#self concept affirmations#self concept#live in the end#mental diet#mental health#desired appearance#desired reality
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Actually, on the topic of bras, binders, and boobs.
You don't need breast tissue or extra fat on your chest to wear a bra or binder! If that's what makes you feel most comfortable, then do it. Trans women pre everything with a flat chest? Wear the bra. Cis men with a flat chest and an outfit that looks better with a visible bra or binder underneath? Wear it!! Even though companies try to write them off as just a necessity for women, bras are a gender-affirming product, just like a binder. They're just a piece of fabric that wraps around your chest, be free forever.
#scottie speaks#gender affirming care#gender non conforming#anti terf#anti gender critical#anti radfem#transgender#trans
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By: Beth Bourne
Published: Feb 27, 2024
Kaiser gender specialists were eager to approve hormones and surgeries, which would all be covered by insurance as “medically necessary.”
On September 6, 2022, I received mail from my Kaiser Permanente Davis Ob-Gyn reminding me of a routine cervical screening. The language of the reminder stood out to me: “Recommended for people with a cervix ages 21 to 65.” When I asked my Ob-Gyn about this strange wording, she told me the wording was chosen to be “inclusive” of their “transgender” and “gender fluid” patients.
Based on this response, several thoughts occurred to me. Could I expose the medical scandal of “gender-affirming care” by saying and doing everything my daughter and other trans-identifying kids are taught to do? Would there be the type of medical safeguarding and differential diagnosis we would expect in other fields of medicine, or would I simply be allowed to self-diagnose and be offered the tools (i.e. hormones and surgeries) to choose my own gender adventure and become my true authentic self?
If I could demonstrate that anyone suffering from delusions of their sex, self-hatred, or identity issues could qualify for and easily obtain body-altering hormones and surgeries, all covered by insurance as “medically necessary” and potentially “life-saving” care, then maybe people would finally wake up. I certainly had.
I was prepared for failure. I wasn’t prepared for how easy success would be.
* * *
I am a 53-year-old mom from Davis, CA. My daughter began identifying as a transgender boy (social transition) and using he/him pronouns at school during 8th grade. Like several of her peers who also identified as trans at her school, my daughter was a gifted student and intellectually mature but socially immature. This shift coincided with her school’s sudden commitment to, and celebration of, a now widespread set of radical beliefs about the biology of sex and gender identity.
She “came out” as trans to her father (my ex-husband) and me through a standard coming-out letter, expressing her wish to start puberty blockers. She said she knew they were safe, citing information she had read from Planned Parenthood and the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH). To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I was also confused because this announcement was sudden and unexpected. While others quickly accepted and affirmed my daughter’s new identity, I was apprehensive and felt the need to learn more about what was going on.
Events began escalating quickly.
During a routine doctor’s visit scheduled for dizziness my daughter said that she was experiencing, the Kaiser pediatrician overheard her father using “he/him” pronouns for our daughter. The pediatrician seemed thrilled, quickly asking my daughter about her “preferred pronouns” and updating her medical records to denote that my daughter was now, in fact, my son. The pediatrician then recommended we consult the Kaiser Permanente Oakland Proud pediatric gender clinic, where she could get further information and (gender affirming) “treatment.” Now I was the one feeling dizzy.
As I began educating myself on this issue, I discovered that this phenomenon—minors, most often teen girls, suddenly adopting trans identities—was becoming increasingly widespread. It even had a name: rapid onset gender dysphoria, or ROGD. Thankfully, after learning about the potential side-effects of blockers and hormones, my ex-husband and I managed to agree not to consent to any medical interventions for our daughter until she turned 18 and would then be able to make such decisions as an adult.
Over the past five years, my daughter’s identity has slowly evolved in ways that I see as positive. Our bond, however, has become strained, particularly since I began publicly voicing my concerns about what many term as “gender ideology.” Following my daughter’s 17th birthday family celebration, she sent me an email that evening stating she would be cutting off contact with me.
While this estrangement brought me sorrow, with my daughter living full-time with her father, it also gave me the space to be an advocate/activist in pushing back on gender identity ideology in the schools and the medical industry.
I decided to go undercover as a nonbinary patient to show my daughter what danger she might be putting herself in—by people who purport to have her health as their interest, but whose main interest is in medically “affirming” (i.e., transitioning) whoever walks through their door. I am at heart a mother protecting her child.
* * *
My daughter’s sudden decision to become a boy was heavily on my mind in early September of 2022, when mail from my Kaiser Permanente Davis Ob-Gyn reminded me of a routine cervical screening with “Recommended for people with a cervix ages 21 to 65.” I was told that the wording was chosen to be “inclusive” of transgender and “gender fluid” patients.
Throughout the whole 231-day process of my feigned gender transition, the Kaiser gender specialists were eager to serve me and give me what I wanted, which would all be covered by insurance as “medically necessary.” My emails were returned quickly, my appointments scheduled efficiently, and I never fell through the cracks. I was helped along every step of the way.
Despite gender activists and clinicians constantly claiming that obtaining hormones and surgeries is a long and complex process with plenty of safety checks in place, I was in full control at every checkpoint. I was able to self-diagnose, determine how strong a dose of testosterone I received and which surgeries I wanted to pursue, no matter how extreme and no matter how many glaring red flags I purposefully dropped. The medical workers I met repeatedly reminded me that they were not there to act as “gatekeepers.”
I was able to instantly change my medical records to reflect my new gender identity and pronouns. Despite never being diagnosed with gender dysphoria, I was able to obtain a prescription for testosterone and approval for a “gender-affirming” double mastectomy from my doctor. It took only three more months (90 days) to be approved for surgery to remove my uterus and have a fake penis constructed from the skin of my thigh or forearm. Therapy was never recommended.
Critics might dismiss my story as insignificant on the grounds that I am a 53-year-old woman with ample life experience who should be free to alter her body. However, this argument for adult bodily autonomy is a standard we apply to purely cosmetic procedures like breast implants, liposuction, and facelifts, not “medically necessary” and “lifesaving” treatments covered by health insurance. Or interventions that compromise health and introduce illness into an otherwise healthy body. And especially not for children.
My story, which I outline in much more detail below, should convince any half-rational person that gender medicine is not operating like any other field of medicine. Based on a radical concept of “gender identity,” this medical anomaly preys upon the body-image insecurities common among pubescent minors to bill health insurance companies for permanent cosmetic procedures that often leave their patients with permanently altered bodies, damaged endocrine systems, sexual dysfunction, and infertility.
* * *
Detailed Timeline of Events
On October 6, 2022, I responded to my Ob-Gyn’s email to tell her that, after some thought, I’d decided that maybe the label “cis woman” didn’t truly reflect who I was. After all, I did have some tomboyish tendencies. I told her I would like my records to be changed to reflect my newly realized “nonbinary” identity, and that my new pronouns were they/them. I also voiced my desire to be put in touch with an endocrinologist to discuss starting testosterone treatment.
Fifteen minutes later I received an email from another Kaiser doctor informing me that my medical records had been changed, and that once my primary doctor returned to the office, I’d be able to speak with her about hormone therapy.
I responded the following day (October 7, 2022), thanking her for changing my records, and asking if she could connect me with someone who could help me make an appointment for “top surgery” (i.e., a cosmetic double mastectomy) because my chest binder was rather “uncomfortable after long days and playing tennis.”
She told me to contact my primary care MD to “get things rolling,” and that there were likely to be “preliminary evaluations.”
Six days after contacting my primary care MD for a referral, I received an email from one of Kaiser’s gender specialists asking me to schedule a phone appointment so she could better understand my goals for surgery, so that I could get “connected to care.” This call to review my “gender affirming treatment options and services” would take 15-20 minutes, after which I would be “booked for intake,” allowing me to proceed with medical transition.
This wasn’t an evaluation of whether surgical transition was appropriate, it was simply a meeting for me to tell them what I wanted so that they could provide it.
On October 18, I had my one and only in-person appointment in preparation for top surgery. I met in Davis with my primary care physician, Dr. Hong-wen Xue. The assessment was a 10-minute routine physical exam that included blood tests. Everything came back normal. Notably, there was not a single question about why I wanted top surgery or cross-sex hormones. Nor was there any discussion of the risks involved with these medical treatments.
The following week, on October 24, I had a phone appointment with Rachaell Wood, MFT, a gender specialist with Kaiser Sacramento. The call lasted 15 minutes and consisted of standard questions about potential drug use, domestic violence, guns in the house, and whether I experienced any suicidal thoughts. There were no questions from the gender specialist about my reasons for requesting a mastectomy or cross-sex hormones, or why I suddenly, at 52, decided I was “nonbinary.”
After the call, Kaiser emailed me instructions about how to prepare for my pre-surgery intake video appointment to evaluate my mental health, scheduled to take place on November 15. The email stated that prior to my appointment, I should research hormone risks on the WPATH website, and to “research bilateral mastectomy and chest reconstruction surgery risks and recovery” on Kaiser’s website.
I decided to request a “gender-affirming” double mastectomy and phalloplasty. Kaiser sent me a sample timeline for gender transition surgery preparation (see below) that you can use as a reference for the process. I also asked for a prescription for cross-sex hormones (testosterone) as needed and recommended by Kaiser.
[ Source: Kaiser Permanente, Top Surgery - EXPLORING YOUR SURGICAL OPTIONS ]
Pre-Surgery Mental Health Video Appointment, Part I
This “Mental Health Visit” assessment was conducted over Zoom. The Kaiser gender specialist started with questions addressing my marital status, race, gender identity, and other demographics. She asked whether I was “thinking of any other surgeries, treatments in the future.” The list she read included “gender-affirming” hysterectomies, bottom surgeries such as metoidioplasty and phalloplasty, vocal coaching, support groups, and body contouring. “Anything else you might be interested in doing?” she asked. I said that I’d perhaps be interested in body contouring. I was also assured that all the procedures would be covered by insurance because they were considered “medically necessary.”
I dropped in several red flags regarding my mental health to see the reaction, but all were ignored. For instance, I revealed that I had PTSD. When the therapist asked me about whether I had experienced any “childhood trauma,” I explained that I grew up in Mexico City and had been groped several times and had also witnessed men masturbating in public and had been grabbed by men in subways and buses. “I was a young girl, so [I had] lots of experiences of sexual harassments, sexual assault, just the kind of stuff that happens when you are a girl growing up in a big city.” “So, you know,” I finished, “just the general feeling that you are unsafe, you know, in a female body.”
The therapist did not respond to my disclosure that trauma could be the cause of my dysphoria. Instead of viewing this trauma as potentially driving my desire to escape my female body through hormones and surgery, she asked whether there is anything “important that the surgery team should be aware of” regarding my “history of trauma,” such as whether I’d be comfortable with the surgeon examining and marking my chest prior to surgery.
When asked about whether I had had any “psychotic symptoms,” I told her that while I had had no such symptoms, my mother had a delusional nervous breakdown in her 50s because she had body dysmorphia and became convinced she had a growth on her neck that needed to be removed. I told her that my mother was then admitted to an inpatient hospital for severe depression. I asked her whether she ever sees patients with body dysmorphia and whether I could have potentially inherited that from my mother. She told me that psychosis was hereditary, but that it was “highly unlikely” that there was any connection between body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria.
I enthusiastically waved more mental health red flags, waiting to see if she would pick up on any of them.
I’m just wondering if my feelings, or perseverating, or feeling like these breasts make me really unhappy and I just don’t want them anymore!...I’m just not sure if that’s a similar feeling to body dysmorphia? How do you decide which one is gender dysphoria and general body dysmorphia, and just not liking something about your body? Feeling uncomfortable with your body? And I did have an eating disorder all through college. I was a distance runner in college so I had bulimia and anorexia, you know. So I don’t know if that’s related to gender dysphoria?
The therapist replied, “I completely appreciate your concerns, but I am going to ask you questions about your chest, about your expectations. And then I’ll be able to give you an assessment.” She also said the main difference between my mom’s situation and mine was that my mom didn’t really have a growth on her neck, whereas it’s “confirmed” that I actually have “chest tissue.” Furthermore, she said that while “historically there has been all this pressure on patients to be like ‘Are you really, really sure you want hormones? Are you 100% sure?’ We are a little more relaxed.” She continued, “As long as you are aware of the risks and the side-effects, you can put your toe in the water. You can stop ‘T’ [testosterone], you can go back and do it again later! You can stop it! You can stop it! You know what I mean?”
Because we ran out of time, I scheduled a follow-up phone meeting on December 27, 2022 with a different gender specialist to complete my mental health assessment for top surgery.
Pre-Surgery Mental Health Video Appointment, Part II
During this meeting, Guneet Kaur, LCSW, another Kaiser gender specialist (she/her/they/them pronouns) told me that she regretted the “gatekeeping vibe” of the meeting but assured me that since I have been “doing the work,” her questions are essentially just a form of “emotional support” before talking with the medical providers.
She asked me about what I’d been “looking into as far as hormones.” I told her that I’d be interested in taking small doses of testosterone to counterbalance my female feelings to achieve “a feeling that’s kind of neutral.”
When she asked me about me “not feeling like I match on the outside what I feel on the inside,” I dropped more red flags, mentioning my aversion to wearing dresses and skirts.
I don’t own a single dress or a skirt and haven't in 20 years. I think for me it’s been just dressing the way that’s comfortable for me, which is just wearing, jeans and sweatshirts and I have a lot of flannel shirts and, and I wear boots all the time instead of other kinds of shoes. So I think it’s been nice being able to dress, especially because I work from home now most of the time that just a feeling of clothing being one of the ways that I can feel more non-binary in my everyday life.
She responded, “Like having control over what you wear and yeah. Kind of that feeling of just, yeah, this is who I am today. That’s awesome. Yeah.”
She then asked me to describe my dysphoria, and I told her that I didn’t like the “feeling of the female form and being chesty,” and that because I am going through menopause, I wanted to start taking testosterone to avoid “that feeling of being like this apple-shaped older woman.” “Good. Okay, great,” she responded, reminding me that only “top surgery,” not testosterone, would be able to solve my chest dysphoria. (Perhaps it was because all these meetings were online, they didn’t notice I’m actually fit and relatively slender at 5’-5” and 130 pounds, and not apple-shaped at all.)
She told me that we had to get through a few more questions related to my medical history before “we can move on to the fun stuff, which is testosterone and top surgery.”
The “fun stuff” consisted of a discussion about the physical and mood changes I could expect, and her asking me about the dose of testosterone I wanted to take and the kind of “top surgery” technique I’d prefer to achieve my “chest goals.” She told me that all or most of my consultations for surgeries and hormones would be virtual.
The gender specialist told me after the appointment, she would submit my referral to the Multi-Specialty Transitions Clinic (MST) team that oversees “gender expansive care.” They would follow up to schedule a “nursing call” with me to review my medical history, after which they’d schedule my appointment with a surgeon for a consultation. Her instructions for this consultation were to “tell them what you’re wanting for surgery and then they share with you their game plan.”
[ Decision-making slide to help me identify my goals for top surgery–flat chest, nipple sensation, or minimal scarring. Source: Kaiser Permanente, Top Surgery - EXPLORING YOUR SURGICAL OPTIONS ]
She told me that Kaiser has a team of plastic surgeons who “only work with trans and nonbinary patients because there’s just so much need for them.” She asked about my priorities for chest surgery, such as whether I value flatness over nipple sensation. I learned about double incision top surgery with nipple grafts, as well as “keyhole,” “donut,” “buttonhole,” and “Inverted-T” top surgeries.
By the end of the hour-long appointment, I had my surgery referral and was ready for my “nursing call” appointment.
Nursing call with Nurse Coordinator from the Transgender Surgery and Gender Pathways Clinic at Kaiser San Francisco
On January 19, 2023, I had my nursing call with the Nurse Coordinator. He first said that “the purpose of this call is just for us to go through your chart together and make sure everything’s as accurate as possible.” Once that was done, my referral would be sent to the surgeon for a consultation.
He asked me about potential allergies and recreational drug use, and verified that I was up to date on mammograms, pap smears, and colon cancer screenings, as well as vaccines for flu and COVID. I verified my surgical history as well as my current medications and dietary supplements.
He told me about a “top surgery class” available for patients where one of the Kaiser surgeons “presents and talks about surgical techniques and options within top surgery,” and includes a panel of patients who have had top surgery. I signed up for the February 8th class.
Within 10 minutes he told me that he had “sent a referral to the plastic surgery department at Kaiser Sacramento,” and that I should be hearing from them in the next week or two to schedule a consultation.
Appointment for Testosterone
On January 27, I had a 13-minute online appointment with a primary care doctor at Kaiser Davis to discuss testosterone. The doctor verified my name and preferred pronouns, and then directly asked: “So, what would you like to do? What kind of physical things are you looking for?”
I told her I wanted facial hair, a more muscular and less “curvy” physique, and to feel stronger and androgynous. She asked me when I wanted to start, and I told her in the next few months. She asked me if I was menopausal, whether I had ovaries and a uterus, although that information should have been on my chart.
The doctor said she wanted me to come in to get some labs so she could check my current estrogen, testosterone, and hemoglobin levels before starting hormones. Then “we'll set the ball in motion and you'll be going. We’ll see you full steam ahead in the direction you wanna go.”
That was it. I made an appointment and had my lab tests done on February 12. My labs came back on February 14, and the following day, after paying a $5 copay at the Kaiser pharmacy, I picked up my testosterone pump. That was easy!
Top Surgery Consultation
On the same day I received my labs, I had a Zoom surgery consultation with Karly Autumn-Kaplan, MD, Kaiser Sacramento plastic surgeon. This consultation was all about discussing my “goals” for surgery, not about whether surgery was needed or appropriate.
I told the surgeon that I wanted a “flatter, more androgynous appearance.” She asked me some questions to get a better idea of what that meant for me. She said that some patients want a “male chest,” but that others “want to look like nothing, like just straight up and down, sometimes not even nipples.” Others still wanted their chest to appear slightly feminine and only “slightly rounded.” I told her that I’d like my chest to have a “male appearance.”
“What are your thoughts about keeping your nipples?” she asked. “Are you interested in having nipples or would you like them removed?” I told her that I’d like to keep my nipples, but to make them “smaller in size.” She asked me if I’d like them moved to “the edge of the peck muscle” to achieve “a more male appearance.” I said yes.
I was asked to show my bare chest from the front and side, which I did. Then she asked me how important it was for me to keep my nipple sensation. I replied that it was important unless it would make recovery more difficult or there were other associated risks. She highlighted the problem with the free nipple graft, saying that removing the nipple to relocate it means “you're not gonna have sensation in that nipple and areola anymore.” However, some nipple sensation could be preserved by keeping it attached to “a little stalk of tissue” with “real nerves going to it,” but that would require leaving more tissue behind. I told her I’d go for the free nipple graft to achieve a flatter appearance. It was also suggested I could skip nipple reconstruction entirely and just get nipples “tattooed” directly onto my chest.
She told me I was “a good candidate for surgery,” and put me on the surgery wait list. She said that the wait time was between three and five months, but a cancellation could move me up to a sooner date. Also, if I wanted surgery as soon as possible, I could tell the surgery scheduler that I’d be willing to have any of the other three surgeons perform my mastectomy. Outpatient top surgery would cost me a copay of $100.
They contacted twice, in February and March, notifying me of cancellations. If I had accepted and shown up on those dates, they would have removed my breasts. This would have been less than five months from the time I first contacted Kaiser to inform them of my new “nonbinary” gender identity.
How Far Can I Go?
I decided to see how easy it would be for me to get approved for a phalloplasty. Known euphemistically as “bottom surgery,” phalloplasty is the surgical creation of an artificial penis, generally using tissue from the thigh or arm.
I sent an email on March 1, 2023, requesting to have a phalloplasty and concurrent hysterectomy scheduled alongside my mastectomy.
Two weeks later, on March 16th, I had a 16-minute phone call with a gender specialist to discuss my goals for bottom surgery and obtain my referral.
During the call, I explained to the specialist that I wasn’t sure about taking testosterone anymore because I was already quite athletic and muscular, and that taking testosterone didn’t make much sense to me. Instead, I wanted bottom surgery so that I wouldn’t feel like my “top” didn’t match my “bottom.” I told her:
But what I really wanted was to have bottom surgery. So this way when I have my top surgery, which sounds like it could be very soon, that I’ll be aligned, that I won’t have this sense of dysphoria with one part of my body and the other part feeling like it matched who I am. So yeah. So I just did a little bit more research into that. And I looked at the resources on the Kaiser page for the MST clinic and I think I know what I want, which is the hysterectomy and then at the same time or soon after to be able to have a phalloplasty.
I told her that I wanted to schedule the top and bottom surgery concurrently so that I wouldn’t have to take more time off work and it would save me trips to San Francisco or Oakland, or wherever I had to go for surgery.
None of this gave the gender specialist pause. After a brief conversation about some online resources to look over, she told me that she would “submit the referral now and we’ll get this ball rolling.”
Bottom surgery would cost me a copay of $200, which included a couple of days in the hospital for recovery.
Phalloplasty Surgical Consultation with Nurse Coordinator
On May 16, 2023, I had a short surgical consultation with a nurse coordinator to go through my medical history. This was similar to the consultation for top surgery but included information about hair removal procedures for the skin on my “donor site” that would be fashioned into a makeshift penis. They also went over the procedures for determining which donor site—forearm or thigh—was more viable.
After only 15 minutes, she submitted my referral to the surgeon for another surgical consultation.
On May 25 I received an email from my phalloplasty surgeon’s scheduler, informing me that they have received my referral and are actively working on scheduling, but that they are experiencing delays.
I ended my investigation here once I had the referral for the top and bottom surgery. I never used my testosterone pump.
Final Thoughts
In fewer than 300 days, based on a set of superficial and shifting thoughts about my gender and my “embodiment goals” triggered by the mere mention of “gender” in a form letter from my primary care physician, and driven by what could only be described as minor discomforts, Kaiser Permanente’s esteemed “multi-disciplinary team” of “gender specialists” was willing, with enthusiasm—while ignoring mental health concerns, history of sexual trauma, and rapidly escalating surgical requests—to prescribe life-altering medications and perform surgeries to remove my breasts, uterus, and vagina, close my vaginal opening, and attempt a complex surgery with high failure and complication rates to create a functionless representation of a penis that destroys the integrity of my arm or thigh in the process.
This describes the supposedly meticulous, lengthy, and safety-focused process that a Kaiser patient must undergo to embark on a journey to medically alter their body. No clinician questioned my motivations. No one showed concern that I might be addressing a mental health issue through radical and irreversible interventions that wouldn’t address my amorphous problems. There were no discussions about how these treatments would impact my long-term health, romantic relationships, family, or sex life. I charted the course. The clinicians followed my lead without question. The guiding issue was what I wanted to look like.
No other medical field operates with this level of carelessness and disregard for patient health and welfare. No other medical field addresses issues of self-perception with surgery and labels it “medically necessary.” No other medical field is this disconnected from the reality of the patients it serves.
Kaiser has traded medicine for ideology. It’s far beyond time we stop the ruse of considering “gender-affirming” interventions as anything approaching medical care.
This isn’t the first time Kaiser Permanente has been in the news for completely disregarding medical safeguards in the name of “gender-affirming care.” As girls, Chloe Cole and Layla Jane became convinced that they were born in the wrong body and were actually boys on the inside. Doctors at Kaiser ignored their underlying conditions and instead prescribed testosterone and removed their breasts. Both Cole and Jane have since detransitioned and are currently suing Kaiser.
The fact that children and vulnerable adults are being exploited in this massive ideological experiment is not just tragic; it’s deeply disturbing, especially considering it has evolved into a billion-dollar industry.
I hope that by sharing my story, I can bring more focused scrutiny to the medical scandal unfolding not just at Kaiser but also at medical centers and hospitals across the Western world. These institutions have completely abandoned medical safeguards for patients who claim to be confused about their “gender,” and I aim to awaken more parents and assist them in protecting their children.
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This is completely insane.
Apologists online are running around saying, but she didn't mean it, she was lying, she was pretending...
It doesn't matter.
Any kind of security, penetration or integrity test is insincere too. When security researchers compromise Microsoft's operating system or Google's browser or whatever, "but they didn't mean it" is not a defence to a discovered security flaw. It doesn't matter that the security researchers didn't plan to steal data or money or identities. The flaw in the system is there regardless.
It doesn't matter that it was insincere. Because the workers didn't know that. They never checked, never asked questions, never tested. They had been taught and instructed to never ask any questions. They did what they were supposed to. And the system failed spectacularly. Because that's what "gender affirming care" means.
Additionally, the claim that Beth Bourne committed fraud is an outright lie. A patient cannot bill. They do not have the authority. The medical clinic is the only one that can bill, and they must supply a diagnosis and a medical necessity.
If they didn't diagnose her and just wrote down what she said, then they committed fraud. If they claim they did diagnose her, then they committed fraud, because the diagnosis they concocted was bogus. This, by the way, is actually going on. Clinics are reporting fake endocrine and other disorders to get blockers, hormones and other interventions. Jamie Reed and other whistleblowers have documented evidence of this. Beth Bourne is not responsible for what the clinic does. They have medical licenses and legal responsibility. Not her.
Additionally, anyone who actually read the article would know how she tested the system. She said things like, "I've always been not that feminine. So, maybe I get my boobs removed." And they said, "sure." Instead of saying, "wait, why do you think that?" Framing it as her lying is itself a lie. They violated their ethical obligations. That much is incontrovertible. And it's directly the result of "gender affirming care," where clinics and clinicians rubber-stamp anything deemed "trans" based entirely on ideological, not medical, grounds.
#Beth Bourne#undercover#undercover investigation#gender identity ideology#queer theory#nonbinary#non binary#top surgery#bottom surgery#double mastectomy#bilateral mastectomy#gender affirming care#gender affirming healthcare#gender affirmation#affirmation model#medical scandal#medical malpractice#medical corruption#religion is a mental illness
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🚨🚨🚨
Idaho's ban on gender-affirming care for all trans and non-binary people takes effect tomorrow
Lives have been and will be lost because of anti-trans legislation
Please share these resources to get folks the care they need:
#idaho#fuck transphobes#transgender#non-binary#gender affirming care#diy hrt#artists on tumblr#queer
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Tim's Sense of Belonging
"There are only a few places I belong: with Bernard, on the boat, and solving mysteries." - Tim Drake - TD:R Issue 2
I feel like we don’t talk about this line nearly enough. Like, Tim Drake? Admitting he belongs at someone's side? Not even that, making a declarative statement that come hell or high water, being with Bernard is his God-given right?
That feels kinda huge for someone who always seems to be uprooted from one sense of identity to another. Mr. "Batman needs a Robin, but I still wonder if I was really the best for the job". You DID the job, my guy. You did a GREAT JOB, even. That means it WAS your place to be in every moment that you were his Robin. Yet he won't say that with the same confidence he says he DOES belong with Bernard.
That's freaking cute!
#timber#timbern#tim drake#bernard dowd#Did being in a relationship with a non-vigilante best friend affirm your non-vigilante self-worth or something?#tim drake: robin
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ok I know this is a basic concept but I finally understood it for real so I'm gonna explain it with my words: why is there no difference between reality and imagination? and why have I already experienced something even if not in the 3D?
We all know I Am Awareness. pure consciousness. all that. we are not the ego. I am the experiencer. that means, whatever I am aware of is "real", exists, and I have experienced it. what makes things exist is having a witness. awareness gives life to things. without awareness, things disappear(by that I mean being aware of something, because awareness is the only thing that exists by itself, infinite). so, if awareness is the condition for existence(of things, not yourself), everything I am aware of exists. now, we think we are the ego, existing in a 3D world. for the ego, that's reality. so imagination, dreams, those aren't real for the ego. but the truth is, the Self is experiencing everything. we think what's real is what the ego is experiencing, but if I Am the Self, I am experiencing the ego's reality, imagination, dreams.... everything I Am aware of is my experience. not simply what the ego is experiencing. so when you imagine the perfect relationship, even if you imagine the ego, or if you imagine completely different people in the relationship, that's still you experiencing a relationship. but because you identify with the ego, you think "that's not me, that's fake," when it's already real because the requirement for "realness" is awareness, and by imagining it, you are being aware of it.
to sum it up, it doesn't matter if the ego hasn't experienced it "in the 3D". you have, because you are awareness and you are aware of the thing "you"(the ego) want.
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You literally manifested finding Manifestation unconsciously.
Take a fucking paper and write the things you truly feel grateful about, atleast I know for sure that you have one thing you can be grateful about. And it's you finding manifestation.
Manifestation doesn't discriminate. You are having a war within yourself.
Take an example of two persons,
Sarah who says "I can manifest anything I want because I'm not just a regular person" and there is Vanessa who says "Nothing works out in my favor"
Can you tell me what's similar between these two people?
They are both manifesting. One is manifesting her desires and the other one is manifesting for her failure.
So the moment you say that your reflection is not happening the way you want it to happen says that you haven't changed yourself in the first place and you are magically expecting the 3D to provide your all desires
If you think manifesting is waiting till it happens in 3D.
You were wrong from the beginning.
Persist in the fact that you already have it in 4D.
Like miss ma'am. You ALREADY HAVE EVERYTHING! Why are you telling yourself that they will "come"?
You literally have it??
Why are you postponing everything to that "will come" and not actually have it?
Deny your five senses, your subconscious is your servant. Your subconscious cannot see, hear, feel anything but solely believes your conscious. So I want you to deny your 5 senses and saturate your conscious mind by the belief that you ALREADY HAVE EVERYTHING!
Your subconscious will be like "oh! yeah we already have it" (obeying you, i.e consciousness) and it starts reproducing your desires into 3D i.e to the physical realm. And this happens only when you actually believe that you have it.
Feel as if you have everything (because you do obv) and don't waver. If you do waver by seeing the 3D, it means that you were never believing in 4D which in turn will never reflect it onto 3D.
Muah stop worrying now<33
#affirm and persist#consciousness#loa blog#live in the end#loablr#neville goddard#non duality#barbs111claims#awareness#shiftblr#loa tumblr#loassumption#loa success
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You are consciousness
“Reality exists in human mind... and nowhere else.” - George Orwell
You are not your body, you are not your mind, you are not your thoughts, you are not anything but imagination. You are pure Imagination. You are consciousness/ God/ imagination/awareness. None of those things are attached to any reality or circumstance. Nothing whatsoever is outside of you, so anything you truly can think of is within you. All of the things you experience are within you. Everything you see is within you from your room to the experience you just had with a friend. Manifestation is not a process you go through. Your desires are done the moment that you imagine them, the moment you first conceived them. States, affirmations, the void, or anything can really think of work because you believe they work, you are aware that they work. Your awareness is what keeps all of these things working for you in your favor. Your imagination is natural and enough just to have your desires come to you, all you need is your awareness because you are the I AM! No matter what your awareness will cause your desires to show up because you are imagination, and Imagination is what creates all of reality. 3D and your 4D are both inside of you. The 3D and the 4D are one, there is no separation, no not one. You are awareness experiencing itself. Take a look around you everything you see is you it is all pure Imagination. All things exist within you, all things exist because they are all imagination, and everything is imaginary. You can conceive of anything thus it exists within you which makes it real. Anything and everything is available to you because it is imagination and you are imagination, You are consciousness there is nothing you cannot have.
#law of assumption#manifestation#neville goddard#affirmations#manifesting#consiousness#edward art#non duality#nondualism
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you are NOT persisting if you are checking 3D and waiting for you DR!
Exactly. When you keep checking 3D to see if your manifestation has happened yet, it usually indicates that you are still in a state of “waiting” or “lack.” Persistence does not mean looking to 3D for proof; it means maintaining the inner feeling that your desire is already yours, regardless of what the external world is showing you right now.
Checking 3D reinforces the idea that you do not yet have what you desire, which can delay manifestation. Instead, focus on the feeling of already having it. Live in the mental and emotional state of someone who has already achieved what they want, and let 3D naturally align with that vibration.
Remember: 3D is just a reflection. If u don’t see movement that does not mean nothing is happening. Also the idea that 3D “takes a long time” is, in fact, a limiting belief. 3D reflects your internal state at the moment you assume a new belief or state. What appears to be a “delay” is actually just the continuation of old beliefs being projected until they are completely replaced by your new state. Trust the internal process, because it is what truly creates your reality.
Some important adds:
You will still manifest if you check 3D if you are fully aware that this is a consequence of your old beliefs, and continue to maintain focus on the desired 4D.
You will still manifest if you see some positive circumstance in 3D and react to it, maintaining focus on the desired 4D!!
What I meant in the post is that if you are LOOKING for circumstances, or feeling FRUSTRATED because you are not seeing results then you are in WAITING mode, and this is what delays manifestation.
#law of assumption#loa tumblr#loass#loassumption#manifesting#loa#loa blog#neville goddard#manifestation#law of manifestation#shiftinconsciousness#shifting motivation#shifting community#non dualism#4d reality#reality change#desired reality#reality shifting#desired life#robotic affirming#affirm and persist#affirmations#assume and persist#loassblr#loass success#loass states#loassblog#loablr#loa success#loa affirmations
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transition goal<3
#transgender#gender#gender envy#queer#trans#trans representation#lgbt#transition goals#gnc#gender affirmation#gender inspo#ftm#mtf#enby#non binary#pikmin#f slur#just a little guy#trangender#transitioning#transition#transfem#transmasc
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when you decide to storm off from the strenuous argument you were having with Suguru, he deliberately sends rainbow dragon out to stop you from leaving the vicinity until you inevitably return back to him (with an adorable grimace and all, he adores that look on you honestly, think it's super cute to think that you'd actually stay mad at him for a while...when you both know you wouldn't/couldn't even last a half an hour without smooching all over his pretty face with apologetic kisses lol) ♡
#arguments don't exist in your relationship (according to Suguru) <3#true he lovesss the way your brows scrunch and your lips tighten in the cutest pout to ever pout...but he hates to see you upset with him :#he'd rather have you all up in his burly warm arms and kiss all over you non-stop to reassure you that everything is alright and he loves u#will consistently cater and coddle all over you and bathe you in endless praises and boundless affirmations that he loves you oh so much ♡#siiighhh#need to be in that mans embrace honestly#geto suguru x reader#geto suguru#jjk
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had an absolutely fantastic care team yesterday <3 i couldn’t have asked for a better top surgery experience! i’m at home n recovering now.. only a bit of pain, but i’m starving all the time!! can’t wait to get my drains out and see my chest! 😱❤️
#top surgery#post op#into the ether#mine#me#tw blood#blood#drains#masculinizing top surgery#hospital#tw hospital#amazing nurses#care team#nurses#tw drains#gender affirming care#trans#queer#sapphic#lesbian#gender queer#agender#non-binary#nonbinary#enby#trans care#1 day post op
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