#Non binary writers

[unclevladscorner]

Rec Me Your books*

I really want to see transmasculine and non binary writers really go the distance and work to support one another in new ways, in light of one person's bad behavior.

We deserve to build a better community- one in which we feel safe and can hold people accountable for thier actions.

I want to start really trying to connect with people here, now that I don't have to worry about my bully as much as I did before. If you are transgender and/or non binary, what are you working on? What books and/or stories have you published? I want to know!

My only big CW's are graphic gore and graphic non-c0nsent. (Graphic gore I can read, I just like to be prepared.)

I want us all to step up and build something better now.

[chaotic-creator]

Introducing Precursor!

"My name is Precursor, Doctor. I am The Keeper of Secrets, The Mother of Lies, The Father of Mystery, The Ruler of Deception, The Liege of The Unknown. Your lives, all of them, each hidden existence you had, each lie and story hidden from that rather brilliant mine of yours. I know them all"

This is The God of Secrets and The Unknown. In my retelling, that would start with Doctor Who Season 12. Precursor is hinted at by The Master in Spyfall Part 2 where The Master states he was "told a secret, the secret that has kept us bound together all these centuries old friend".

They finally appear on Galifrey in The Timeless Children, where they state to The Doctor and The Master "so this is Galifrey? A billion trillion years and a hundred thousand billion trillion miles from your companions, Doctor. The furthest edge of The Inner Plane of The Universe. Pitiful really"

Precursor mocks The Doctor and acts like (false) sympathy for The Master. When The Master leaves to claim The Cyberium, Precursor reveals the secrets to The Doctor. This wouldn't be like the show however, there would be two secrets and both would show the true cruelty of The Time Lords.

Precursor revels in the chaos and mental agony they've put The Master and The Doctor into, standing by as The Doctor is released from The Matrix and watches as she faces The Master and his CyberLords. When Ko Sharmus takes The Death Particle, Precursor simply fades away, reappearing as The Doctor lands on the outpost world.

The Doctor demands to know who Precursor is and they oblige, revealing their name in the monologue I quoted at the start. They then give The Doctor a warning. They state that "he watches you, at the edge of The Outer Plane. The one who waits, stews in his fury. You will face him again soon. You will face us all". Precursor then fades away and this little speech sets up The Pantheon to be the main villains for Season 13/Flux, The 2022 specials, The 60th Anniversary episodes and rolling into Season 14

[fragileswift1313]

Mrs Maisel Musings!

Kia ora, friends!

Alright, here it is folks, the moment maybe some, maybe none of you have been waiting for: my thoughts on the The Marvellous Mrs Maisel final season. I did it, I finally got it done. I think the reason it took me so long, aside from previously mentioned mental health issues, is that writing stuff like this for five hundred and sixteen minutes of television is hard! It’s really hard. I would love to hear what you all think of this, and if you want to discuss what I’ve written here, or even just about the show or season in general, please hit me up! I would love to talk about it with you.

Now enough with the delays and the stalling - please enjoy my review (??) of The Marvellous Mrs Maisel season 5, the final season.

So, I really liked the first few seasons of The Marvellous Mrs Maisel. Even though it’s a bit cheesy and dopey at times. Rachel Brosnahan is a joy to watch on-screen, and a lot of the other actors here do a really great job with the script they were given... such as it is. On a recent rewatch, though, I started to see the strings a little bit - things that I liked the first time around just didn’t quite hit the same. I got through most of it, all the important parts, and then I started the new season. It’s been a couple weeks or so since I finished it, and I’m not as down on it now as I was when I started, but y’all, I am about to have some opinions.

This the final Mrs Maisel season really feels like creator Amy Sherman-Palladino probably wanted to do at least one more season after this, but someone at Jeff’s Website Studios said no, so she simply decided to burn the show to the ground.

Now as I wrote in the subtitle, I am about to spoil things here, so this is your final warning: if you don’t want to be spoiled for season five of The Marvellous Mrs Maisel, get out now.

Also: foul language ahead! 🤬

The entire point of this season seems to be leaning into how much of a piece of shit Miriam Weissman is. We get glimpses of her in “current day” 1962 juxtaposed with scenes set in 1972 and 1982, and a couple of other random years, where we skip around and see all sorts of wild stuff - Midge is rich and famous, her kids Ethan and Esther are all grown up, Joel is in prison, and there are some bonkers and hilariously bad facial prosthetics.

Now, aside from the hilariously stupid idea that Midge as a stand-up comic somehow got insanely rich, there are some cool ideas here. The first episode opens with Esther in a psychiatrists office in 1981, searching through a backpack for something and seeming very annoyed. On first watch, I didn’t like that this is something that’s shown at all, but the more I thought about it the more I warmed to the idea. In previous seasons, The Marvellous Mrs Maisel has at times made a point of showing Midge being a terrible and/or absent mother, usually for comedic effect, but I think it’s interesting that they took this idea and bore it out, to show that mid-20’s Midge’s actions had consequences. In a later episode we also see Ethan as an adult, with Midge annoyingly landing in a helicopter nearby and upsetting everyone - this wasn’t as interesting to me, but it was still a good glimpse into how little regard Midge appears to have for anyone but herself, Joel, Susie, or Lenny Bruce.

Speaking of Lenny Bruce, I want to talk about his appearances in the final season. If you know anything about him from real life, you might know how his life ended, and where. The very first episode of season five has Midge bumping into him randomly at the airport when he is about to board a plane to Los Angeles. This made me so. Fucking. Mad. IRL Lenny Bruce was found dead in his home in Hollywood Hills in 1966, which lead me to believe that the very last time Midge will ever see him was this scene at the airport. Midge walks away from the interaction with Lenny with a strange look on her face, as if she somehow knows that this will be the last time she ever sees him alive, and it is my humble opinion that that fucking sucks. Lenny Bruce is one of the best characters on this show, with a ton of great appearances and lines and jokes, and Luke Kirby does a phenomenal job of capturing the real Lenny’s energy - it’s not 1:1, but it’s a great depiction, and I simply cannot believe Amy S-P would do my boy like this. The only other time we see Lenny in this season is years later, performing in front of a fairly disinterested crowd as he mumbles and rambles about this thing and that, and it’s so fucking depressing. This season, the show never outright mentions his drug use, but it’s heavily implied, and there’s a moment in a back room where he is talking to Susie and appears to be unable to stand up. On the one hand, I’m kind of pleased that they didn’t depict his death at all, but it really bothered me that these two scenes were all we got of him before the show stops referencing him at all.

The part of this season that really shines the most to me is a scene from episode eight, with Abe in a dimly-lit restaurant with Gabe, his boss, and a couple of colleagues. The scene begins with Abe checking his coat and coming over to sit where Gabe etcetera are already seated around a table and chatting. They order some wine. There’s a cut here to a few minutes later where the wine has arrived and been poured, and Abe sits silently, swirling his drink and clearly deep in thought while the others talk amongst themselves. Eventually, Gabe interrupts Abe’s thoughts, telling him that he had been raving to the others about his conversational skills. Abe apologises. “It’s just… the whole goddamn world, you know,” he says, clearly depressed about something. “Only that?” chimes in one of the other men at the table. Then ensues a conversation about the state of the world, about progress, about gender inequality and mental health, even, which was surprising to me. This scene is heartbreaking, and might be some of the best writing in the entire series. I cried watching this scene the first time around, and again just now rewatching it. It’s really sad that Abe never got the kind of character development shown here earlier, I would have liked to see that.

Episode six is an interesting sort of experiment; beginning with Midge on stage, in 1985, talking about her relationship with Susie, it then transitions into a roast for an indifferent and grumpy Susie in 1990, which is basically a device for a bunch of famous people you’ve seen in other things to come together as characters never seen before or again and tell stories about Susie’s rise to fame as one of the biggest talent managers in the United States. Here we get an explanation for why Joel is in prison, and a bunch of seemingly randomly selected stories about what Susie has been up to since 1962. As with the portrayal of Esther in episode one, this was another thing about this season that really bothered me at first, because it felt like it lacks focus, but as I thought about it more, it started to grow on me. This collection of tales about Susie’s exploits make sense for her character, and help to define who she is.

Overall, this season really fell down for me when I realised that a lot of really interesting moments never truly pay off. We jump around a lot between different years and perspectives, and we see a lot of things that could have been great story arcs, but they simply end and are never mentioned again. I really do feel like this season was supposed to be two or more, and Jeff’s Studio said no, so Amy Sherman-Palladino lit it all on fire. I think that if hyou like this show, it might still be worth it to catch the final season, but personally I feel like it should never have been made - at least not in this form. I would much rather have seen this stretched out more, over at least one more season. It tries to give the viewer some closure in the very last scene of the very last episode, but for me it falls flat. I don’t think I’ll ever watch this again.

Thanks so much for reading! What did you think? Once again, please feel free to hit me up in the comments, on the socials, or send me an email. And as always, if you want to read more stuff by me, you can check out my Letterboxd reviews - I recently reviewed The Craft (1996), Eradication (2022), and The Sand (2015)!

I hope y’all are staying safe out there! Have a great week and I’ll talk to you again soon. Ka kite anō au i a koe. 💚

Rebecca

Links | Twitter | Mastodon | Cohost | Substack | itch.io | Letterboxd | Instagram | Carrd | Email

[anitatapio]

My youtube channel

My Q&A from April 2024

[saren23]

I have a tendency to confuse familiarity with love. I think finding a home in someone is love.

But the truth is I’m familiar with toxic relationships. I grew up in a home where love was earned, not given.

I get scared by softness. Like it’s too good to be true. Like there’s a limit to the amount I can receive. I didn’t do enough to deserve your kindness. Why are you giving me so much affection? Are you going to hold this against me later? What are you trying to get from me?

How can I trust you when I don’t even trust my own mind?

[anxiousmidwestern]

i take small bites from the people i love. a pinkie from my ex, my mothers ear, the heart of my father. i can’t bring myself to eat them whole.

i’ve made myself full from all that i have taken

[missdaytonawrites]

hello tumblr.

i have been pretty cryptic as of late in regards to a certain "thing" i have coming up.. and i have been trying like crazy to figure out just how to say this to you all... but! as far as anything "natural born losers" related goes, it's all coming to a halt!

i am working just as hard (and have alot more creativity towards) another collection of stories, that are going to be out waaay quicker. NBL is still a thing, its still happening and eventually will be out to play. but for now... you may or may not wanna pay close attention to this for reasons that will be further explained in the future.

it's another nicole dollanganger album ;) and i'll be willing to talk about this one a little more than i was for NBL!!! so so so, maybe give the album a listen... lmk what you think is going on and get excited because theres more to come!!!

[gor3sigil]

Before starting T, when I socially transitionned, I was surrounded by radical feminists who saw masculinity as gross and inherently evil, something to avoid, something to make fun of, something to destroy. The other transmascs in my friend group, sometimes, told me that they didn’t knew if they really were non-binary or if they just were scared shitless of saying “I am a man”. Because they saw this as a betrayal to their younger self who had been SAd and abused.

I saw many of my masc friends and trans men around me hate themselves, not outing themselves as men because it would imply so so much, it was like opening the Pandora Box. Even when we were just together, talking about our masculinity was always coated with bits like “I know we’re the privileged ones but…”, “I don’t want to sound like I have it bad but…”, “Women obviously have it worse, but last time…” and we were talking about terrible traumas we experienced while taking all the precautions in the world in the case the walls were a crowd of people in disguise waiting to get us if we didn’t downplay the violence we faced, or like crying and being upset and being traumatized and afraid and scared and to say it out loud would make us throw up the needles we were forced to swallow every second of every day living in our skin.

Most of us weren’t on T yet, some of us were catcalled every day and harassed in the streets or in abusive relationships nobody seemed to care to help them get out of because they were “strong enough” to do it by themselves.

I was using the gender swap face app and cried for ours when I saw my father looking back at me through the screen. The idea of transforming, of shedding into a body that would deprive me of love, tenderness, and safety, was absolutely terrifying. I knew I couldn’t stay in this body any longer because it wasn’t mine, but I also knew that if I was going to look like my dad, my brother, my abusers, it would be so much worse.

5 years later and I’m almost 2 years on T, and almost 2 months post top surgery.

I ditched my previous group of friends. I was bullied out of my local trans community. But let me tell you how free I am.

I was scared that T would break my singing voice: it made it sound more alive than ever.

I was scared that T would make me less attractive: it made me find myself hot for the first time in my life.

I was scared that T would make me gain weight: it did. But the weight I put on is not the weight I used to put on by binging and eating my body until I forgot that it even existed. It’s the weight of my body belonging to me, little by little. The wolf hunger for life.

I won’t tell you the same story I see everywhere, the one that goes “I started going to the gym 8 times a week, I put on some muscles, I started a diet and now I look like an action film actor”, in fact if you took pictures of me from 5 years ago vs now I’d just have more acne, I’d have longer hair and still look like I don’t know what to do with myself when I take selfies.

But the sparkle in my eyes, my smile, tell the whole story way better than this long ass stream of words could ever.

I want to say some things that I wish someone told me before starting medically transitionning.

It’s okay to take your time. It’s your body, it’s your journey, if you don’t feel comfortable taking full doses and want to go slow, the only voice you need to listen to is your own. Do what feels right.

If you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break, it’s okay to ask for support.

Trans people are holy. Everyone is. You didn’t lose your angel wings when you came out because you want to be masculine. You are not excluded from the joy of existence, from being proud of yourself, from being sad, from being scared, from being angry. The emotions and feelings you allowed yourself to feel while processing what you experienced when you grew up as a girl and was seen as a woman are still as valid as before. Nobody can take that from you. If someone tries to, don’t let them.

It’s perfectly normal to grieve some things you were and had before you started to transition, like your high soprano voice or even your chest. Hatching is painful. You can find comfort in things that don’t feel right, so making the decision to change can be incredibly scary and weird and you deserve to be heard and supported through this. Wanting top surgery doesn’t make the surgery less intense, less terrifying, less painful to recover from. When it becomes too much you have the right to take a break and take some deep breaths before going on.

You don’t have to have a radical, 180° change for your transition to be acceptable or valid or worthy of praise. Look at how far you’ve come already. It doesn’t have to show, you’re not made to be a spectacle, you’re human and it is your journey.

Oh, and last thing, you know when some people say “Oh this trans person has to grow out of the cringy phase where you think that you can write essays about being trans or transitionning or just their experience because it’s weird” ? If you ever hear this or see this online, remember all the people whose writing you read and, even if they were not professional writers, helped you more than any theorists did ? If you want to write, do it. It won’t be a waste. It can help people. Or it won’t, and even then, if it helped you, that’s enough.

Love every of my trans siblings, take care of yourselves. You deserve the world.

[charliejaneanders]

Writing any kind of story is a scary proposition, especially if it deals with personal stuff. And writing about trans people during a bogus moral panic is especially daunting -- it's easy to either pull your punches, or feel as though the burden of good trans representation weighs on your shoulders. The good news is that we are living during a time of extreme riches when it comes to trans stories, and a ton of wonderful authors are writing trans tales that defy categorization and bust through boundaries. So please write the story that speaks to you, the story that only you can tell about your own obsessions and dreams. It can be scary or funny or comforting or escapist, or all of the above — don't worry that what you write will be singled out as the One True Trans Story, or seen as a representation of all trans people. Just write your story.

Writing Trans Stories For Fun (and Liberation) --- My latest newsletter!

[chaotic-creator]

Hi! Moved here now (had some trouble with getting bigots and bots on the collective account) but I've made a post here with a few other gods added

An expanded Pantheon of Discord for your consideration! Some taken from canon beings The Doctor has fought, some from Sarah Jane, two are OCs

----------------------------------------------

The Toymaker: The God of Games- We all now know this guy, a crazy giggling madman obsessed with The Rules of Play

Hecuba: The Goddess of Fate- The canonical sister of The Toymaker. I made her The Goddess of Fate since in her one canon appearance she's called The Queen of Time.

Trickster: The God of Traps- Again, a well known one, the archenemy of Sarah Jane, an insane individual who loves chaos

Maestro: The God of Music- The child of The Toymaker who wishes to keep all music for themselves, the parent of Harbinger

Reprobate: The God of Spite- An unknown being, I haven't found anyone who would work as Reprobate except maybe Rassilon?

The Mara: The God of Beasts- A classic Who villain and enemy of The Fifth Doctor

Lucifer: The God of Despair- This is The Beast from The Satan Pit. He's also voiced by Gabriel Woolf, the voice of Sutekh and with Carla mentioning The Beast it felt right to include him. Having him be The God of Despair is from The Beast being called The Prince of Despair by the possessed Ood

Abaddon: The God of Hunger- This is The Beast's child from Torchwood that feeds on life energy and was defeated by Jack's immortality. Feasting on immortality itself seems good for a hunger god

Fenric: The God of Pestilence- Taking a Seventh Doctor enemy described as "an evil from before the universe" and making them one of The Pantheon. Given how Fenric was described, a pestilence deity seemed right

Jester: The God of Fear- The clown creature from Sarah Jane Adventures that feeds on fear and who Mr Smith said came from "the far edges of The Universe". Similar to Abaddon, a being that feeds on fear seems like they'd be a fear deity

Krampus: The God of Trickery- This is actually a canonical member of The Pantheon from a comic who tricks a citizen of Leadworth who Amy and Rory later have to save. He works by tricking people into accepting his gifts to manifest in the physical world

Harbinger: The God of Chance- Yes I'm making Harbinger a god, since the first one we met is the child of Maestro. Now Harbinger is a shapeshifter deity so both Henry and Harriet are the same deity. Their domain is for opening up chances for their fellow deities to emerge

Incensor: The Goddess of Disaster- A canonical member of The Pantheon who we haven't seen yet and I couldn't find an enemy who worked as a Disaster goddess though I wanted to propose the idea that she was the inspiration of Gaia in Greek mythology

Light: The God of Endings- A Seventh Doctor enemy who was said to be "an evil older than time itself" and worshiped as a god. Depicted as being someone obsessed with cataloguing the universe and infuriated whenever anything changes. Seems like he'd make a good God of Endings

Akhaten: The God of Plagues- Taken from the 11th Doctor story The Rings of Akhaten, described by his worshippers as A God but by 11 as a parasitic plague on his people, I think he could work as a trapped and bound God of The Pantheon

Midnight: The God of Shadow- Yes I am making The Creature from Midnight a lesser deity of The Pantheon! What else but an immortal being could survive that sunlight? Maybe it was imprisoned eons ago and all it can do now is hunger and strike from it's domain of shadow, including the shadows of the mind

Kronos: The God of Time- A Third Doctor enemy that claimed to have "known The Doctor of Old" and was "beyond good and evil", a being literally called a God and a destroyer. I think he'd fit well in The Pantheon and leads into Ash's idea of The Doctor being The God of Life. Speaking of which

The Doctor: The God of Life- A mind wiped and banished child god who was found and taken in by The Time Lords. This god was immortal and could bring others back to life (like the butterfly from Space Babies). Trapped by The Trickster and unbound from Time, The Doctor now faces his own family as The Lonely God

Void: The God of Darkness (OC)- I made this sort of a mashup of both The Void, the space between dimensions containing "no light" and Rose in "Turn Left" saying that "The Darkness is coming" almost like The Darkness was a physical being. Void separated a member of his family from the woman he loved out of spite

Sutekh: The God of Death- The supposed "mother and father and other of all" and "the god of gods" himself, master and bringer of ultimate death, the antithesis to The Doctor, God of Life. A being who simply wishes to bring "blessed death to all life"

Precursor: The God of The Unknown and Secrets (OC)- Confession time! I created this God for the sole reason of being able to hide the truth from people by tucking it away "into nothingness and The Unknown". Secrets such as the true origin of Ruby Sunday, the many past lives of The Doctor, the whereabouts of Susan Foreman, the truth of who The Doctor is and (linking in your OC Alex) who Alex's Time Lord ancestor is. They are the Secret Keeper of The Pantheon and allow their fellow gods true intentions to always remain a mystery

Would love to hear your opinions on this!- Loki

Very fascinating! I especially like the idea of a God of Secrets. Honestly, it would fit in very well with the show, and all the secrets and uncertainty surrounding the Doctor!

[cynosfunnyjokes]

A Heart’s A Heavy Burden

Characters: Howl x Reader

Genre: Angst

Warning: None that I can think of.

Summary: Loving Howl Pendragon isn’t easy.

Word Count: 827

Summary: Not really edited or anything- I’m sure there’s mistakes all throughout but I wrote this while watching Howl’s Moving Castle for the umpteenth time lmao. No pronouns are used for the reader!

Apprenticing under Howl was such a joy- never was there a dull moment. He would brighten up the room with his smile- his laugh. It was so contagious that you and Markl couldn't fight the grins growing on your own faces.

Meeting Howl on its own was nothing but luck- you had found yourself in some trouble with the guards, their stupid remarks making you nothing but uncomfortable- and then poof, a stranger was there, whisking you away.

How strange that the random man was Howl himself- a well-known sorcerer and someone you looked up to. Of course, you nervously asked him to take you on as an apprentice, eagerly telling him about your interest in magic since you were young.

He simply laughed, smiling that bright smile everyone adored, and simply agreed to take you in.

All went well- he was a great teacher after all. Even with him being gone at random times throughout the day, you had Markl to spend time with to practice. And then there was Calcifer and his witty remarks. They never bothered you, simply jokingly throwing one back at him.

It didn't take long for feelings to grow for the mysterious sorcerer- everyone noticed it but Howl himself. Not that it was surprising.

Even Calfcifer noticed but never said about it, unlike Markl who made random remarks during the day in whispers, causing you to hide your face while the blush crept up to your ears.

Although one day, while cleaning up the firepit during the time Howl was away, Calficer clicked his tongue at you.

Raising an eyebrow, you turned your head to the burning ball of fire in front of you, silently asking him “what?”

“You really do love him, don't you?”

It was so sudden, it felt so random-

But that’s all he said. That's all he needed to say.

You were undeniably in love with Howl, and you could only hope the feelings were reciprocated. Maybe, just maybe they were.

All hope went down the drain the moment Sophie showed up. Suddenly, Howl wasn't around as much anymore- and when he was, he was with her.

It was always her. Sophie this, Sophie that.

Slowly, the feelings of sadness crept in, their sharp nails jabbing into your heart.

Is this what heartbreak felt like?

Eventually, you stopped leaving your room- opting to just study the days away instead of focusing on the pain residing in your heart.

Markl would stop by to check on you, dropping off food that would stay nothing but untouched, slowly growing cold as time passed.

Even though you appreciated Markl’s company, it didn't help that he often talked about Sophie- how cool she was. All this, all that.

It was all too much.

Howl never stopped in to talk- to check on you. Not that you expected him to. He was his own person who had his own things to do. He was a busy man after all. But still, you found yourself clinging to that hope- just to have it crushed.

Eventually, even Markl stopped popping in, choosing to set the food down on your table before retreating to Sophie.

It was fine. It was all fine. That's what you always told yourself.

But yet... Why did it hurt so much?

Pressing shaking hands against your tear-filled eyes, the only sound that could be heard was small sobs that you were trying oh so hard to muffle.

It was so unfair.

You wanted him to look at you like he does her. To experience the feeling of being wrapped in his arms, to feel his loving gaze.

But that would never happen.

There wasn't much point in staying there anymore- you refused to leave your room unless it was to quickly run to the bathroom, refused to even leave your bed unless it was necessary.

What was the point of staying there? Where the reminder of your unrequited love stayed?

It was raining outside, the soft pitter-patter of the rain on the window helping drown out any sounds that escaped you.

Bag in hand that was full of a few necessities and a small photo of you and Howl, you stopped to stare at Howl’s bedroom door for a minute.

Loving him hurt- but it wasn't something you regretted. If only things were different, maybe it would've been better. Such a false sense of hope.

Howl seemed happier with Sophie- even Calcifer and Markl were happier.

You weren't needed anymore.

So without a single thought, you turned on your heels and climbed out the hallway window to avoid Calcifer knowing.

Landing on the muddy ground below with a let thump, you looked at what used to be your home one last time, thoughts racing a thousand miles per second. You didn't want to stay and be reminded of how much happier everyone was without you.

So you left, the rain being your only company as you sobbed into the night.

[fragileswift1313]

Speak Now (Taylor's Version)!

Hey!

So some of you will know this, others may not, but Taylor Swift recently re-recorded her 2010 album titled Speak Now, and it was released roughly 40 hours ago at the time of posting. When ‘Speak Now (Taylor’s Version)’ was announced back in the first week of May this year, I wrote a thing about how I feel about the original album. If you haven’t read that, you may want to to get caught up on how and why I feel things so deeply for this record in particular.

Since way back in February 2021, when Taylor first announced that she was re-recording a bunch of her old albums, starting with Fearless, I have been waiting for this moment. I won’t get into the whole sordid story about why she’s doing it, or how much I wish Scoote* B*aun would get hit by a car, but it’s a whole thing. What I will say is that in the long run, I am honestly happy that this happened because the re-recordings are flawless. Seriously, I’m just wonderstruck (lmao 😉). I haven’t listened to this record as much as I wanted to before writing this - I’ve listened a few times, but mostly I’ve just been thinking about it. I was b i g excited for this to come out, but I can’t lie, there was some anxiety too - this record is so important to me so it had to be flawless; and I think Taylor nailed it. Anyway, I have waited for this for a long time, and now that it’s finally here I have Some Thoughts.

I went back and forth in my head about how to do this, and I decided the best way would be to nail down exactly which songs I was most nervous or excited about, and then do a broader breakdown of the rest of the album, so here we go: starting with…

Mine

‘She is the best thing that’s ever been mine.’

Taylor always opens her records with one of the strongest tracks on said record, and this one is no different. I adore the original, and the re-recording is incredibly faithful to it. The only differences I noticed in this track versus the original were a few unsubtle moments where the growth and refinement of Taylor’s vocal range in the past thirteen years really shine through. It’s the same song, but new again.

Sparks Fly

‘The way you move is like a full-on rain storm, and I’m a house of cards,’

This song has always been one of my all-time favourites from any artist ever, and this new version is just as intense and moving as the original was back when I first heard it somewhere around 2012. This re-recording gives me chills. I am literally trying not to cry right now as I sit here writing this and relistening to it. Every line in this song is flawless. And oh my god, the strings. During the track, I find it difficult with my audio processing problems to tell if it’s a guitar, a violin, another string instrument, or all of the above, but whatever it is it makes this song so much more powerful.

Speak Now

“She floats down the aisle like a pageant queen,”

‘Speak Now (Taylor’s Version)’ is the first track here where Taylor’s strengthened and refined voice is apparent in almost every lyric. While it’s maybe not one of the biggest or strongest stand-out tracks on the record, but it has a very special place in my heart from when the original record made its indelible mark on me. Not a lot is different here, besides the sound of Taylor’s voice, and I think that’s okay.

Mean

“You, with your switching sides and your wildfire lies and your humiliation.”

Mean is so much fun, it always has been. The up-tempo of it contrasted against the subject matter has always worked really well for me. The opening is so peppy while she talks about how hard critics had been treating her, and how badly she used to take it when it happened. But I love how the song goes from ‘upset’ to ‘f**k you’ by the end. This re-recording feels really good, too, because the line “some day I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me,” feels like both a prophecy from 2010, and a vindication in 2023 that she was right all along.

Better Than Revenge

“He was a moth to the flame, she was holding the matches.”

This is the one I was most anxious about going into this new version. For one, I really love the original song, despite its one glaringly large problem, but I was also nervous about whether or not she would change the lyric, and if so, to what? The first time I heard the new lyric, I was reading the prologue in the booklet that came with the CD hard copy of the album, and even though I wasn’t super paying attention I noticed it. I skipped back a few seconds to hear it again, and looked up the lyrics in the booklet so I could sing along and get it into my brain. I really like the new lyric a lot, and I expect I am going to think about it a lot in the future, too.

Haunted

“Something keeps me holding onto nothing.”

Haunted has always been a big favourite of mine to just scream-sing along to when I need to release some sadness energy, even the acoustic version is great. This version is… something else. It’s always been something of a rock song, but I feel like Taylor really leaned into that here, and the result is flawless. I sent Castles Crumbling to my sister (not a swiftie) during my first listen to the record, and she liked it so much that she listened to the rest of the album - during her listen, she sent me back this text:

This new version is incredible, and I’m so happy to have it in my life. And I’m stoked that ‘Haunted (Taylor’s Version)’ may have made a Swiftie out of my sister. 😁

Ours

“The stakes are high, the water's rough, but this love is ours,”

I love the way Taylor kept the little southern drawl from the original track here. This is the one track on this record that really makes my heart flutter. There’s very little in this track that feels different from the original, but I think that was a really inspired choice because it was honestly practically flawless the first time around. This song also has a really special place in my heart because the original video was the source of one of my favourite reaction gifs to use on social media or in texts (see below!).

Wrapping up… 🎁

The rest of the re-recorded tracks here are gorgeous, and you really can hear the different inflections and tones in Taylor’s voice as she sings these classics from her early career in the studio again. Altogether, I love this release of Speak Now and I really feel like if someone were to ask me which version they should listen to, my answer would be overwhelmingly this one; it truly is the definitive version of the record. It was honestly tough to nail this list down to just seven favourites out of the 22 tracks, even with excluding the From The Vault tracks which I will get to in a second. I’m so happy to have this space to gush about this record, and I really hope you enjoyed reading about my feelings!

From The Vault 🔓

As I said above, I excluded the From The Vault tracks from my list because I simply don’t have a ton to say about them yet. I have only listened to them a handful of times, so expect a follow-up post in a few weeks, once I’ve had more time to sit with them and form Some Opinions. What I will say right now, though, is that the immediate stand-outs for me were Electric Touch, I Can See You, and Castles Crumbling. I’m excited to listen to them a bunch more times. I also wanted to mention the Surprise Announcement video at the end of the album on Apple Music, too. Many hardcore swifties will probably have seen a version of it before elsewhere, but I had not - I have been avoiding any streams from The Eras Tour in hopes that I’ll someday get to see a complete version on Netflix or something - and y’all, this video almost broke me. I so wish I could have been there in person to feel the energy of the crowd!

The End 🔚

Well that’s it from me for this week, friends. Thanks so much for hanging out and indulging me while I am once again back on my Taylor Swift bullshit. If you want to see more writing from me, as I mentioned above you can go back and read about why Speak Now is so special to me, check out other things I've written on Substack, and as always you can check out my Letterboxd movie reviews. I recently reviewed Single White Female (1992) and Poseidon (2006)! Also! Please remember that if you have comments, questions, suggestions, or just want to say hi, please hit me up in the comments or at any of the socials in the links below.

Stay safe out there y’all and have a great week. You’re the best thing that’s ever been mine! Ka kite anō au i a koe. 💚

Rebecca

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[rs-hawk]

Fluff only for this one. Woman Reader (sex irrelevant)

Your Godly lover had given you immortality after They nearly lost you. They couldn’t bear the idea of losing you. You hated Them for it even all these centuries later. You had to watch your family grow old and die. Your younger siblings. Their children. Their children’s children. Eventually you couldn’t even be around their descendants. It was too hard. All you could do was set up a trust fund each time you found out another had been born. You still had to take care of them somehow. They were all that was left in this world of your family.

You were a whispered legend in the county you lived in. Some thought you were a Spirit of the Forest that was from the pre-Colonization of the area. Some said you were a monster, lurking and read to eat unsuspecting youth who wandered into your trees. Others said you were stolen by a man who killed you. Very few whispered the truth, because those who had eventually were forced away from the area to allow it to be settled.

It wasn’t until some of your youngest sister’s descendants moved back to the area that you allowed yourself to peek at them. You’d find excuses to go to town, to find them. Your sister had been gorgeous. Maybe the most beautiful woman aside from your mother that you’d ever seen. She was tall, with eyes like clay, hair like midnight and skin so smooth you always wanted to be the one to paint it. Her descendant was none of those things aside from beautiful.

Her eyes shun like the midday sky, with hair that curled and twisted in ways you’d never imagined before the settlers came. Her face was round and childlike despite the life line that aged her face. Her skin burned easily in the sun that your sister loved, but there was ink on that skin. A permanent painting of a bird. You couldn’t help but smile. The more you saw her, the more you wanted to get to know her. You were attached. You did get to know her. You two chatted, and her voice sounding like a melody. You loved her. She was almost like her sister had come back to you.

Then she died.

You felt like your heart was torn out of your chest. You screamed, cried, begged your Godly former lover to let you die, but They didn’t. Then, a few days after, you stood at the edge of her funeral, watching her cold body be lowered into the ground. You saw her husband standing there with their child. A beautiful little girl who reminded you so much of her mother.

It wasn’t long until you saw that same beautiful little girl curled up in a ball in the middle of the woods, sobbing. Her father said he wanted to go camping, then left her. You couldn’t let the search party find her. They would give her back to that man who said she ran off, and she was too young to deny it.

As you sat with her head in your lap and she started to fall asleep, having washed the dirt out of her golden hair, your Godly former lover appeared before you.

“This will hurt. It always does.”

You look at Them, your lower lip trembling. “I know, but I had to save her. He would have just done something else if this didn’t work.”

They look down at the little girl, tilting Their head. “Her heart reminds me of hers. Pure. Soft. She will grow up to be kind, just like her.”

“I miss her,” you whisper, voice cracking as you look down at the sleeping child.

Your Godly former lover lays Their hand on your shoulder, squeezing it softly. “I’m sorry for what I did to you. I love you.”

“I know. I wish you didn’t.”

“I know… me too.”

[saren23]

Sunshine and Moonlight

She’s my sunshine and I’m her moonlight.

I always had a dark side. Familiar with the dead of night. It’s emptiness. It’s loneliness. I was never afraid to be alone.

She was sunshine. Beaming with joy and positivity. A warm hug sent thousands of miles away. A loudest and proudest cheerleader on my sideline.

One look at her and the darkness starts to fade. It melts was with every passing day. The more she loves me. The more she supports me. The more she chooses me. I get brighter. Redirecting her light back to her and beyond.

She is my sunshine to my moonlight. 🌗

- Saren Jay Senshi 💚

[anxiousmidwestern]

i ran away a lot as a kid. i ran until i couldn’t go further and my parents would find me not at all far from home but to me i felt like i had fled the country. i still find myself running sometimes. from lovers whose feelings i could not reciprocate and family who i could not forgive. will there be i time where i am stagnant? where i will find myself chained down to one place so i can find fulfillment in this lifetime? or will i always run? run until the sunsets run out and the clouds are shaped as the people of my past, until the ground is rocky and my feet are bleeding, until i finally exhaust myself and die where i stopped. i don’t know if i will ever find myself stopped or if i will forever be a runaway child.

my feet hurt…

[missdaytonawrites]

well this is totally silly. wowie thanks you little people in my phone and on my desktop screen :).