#No matter what happens things are still going to be bad because these people are so deeply fucked and i am so tired

[virgo-dream]

for the friends to lovers prompts: sharing clothes? 🥺

Might have gotten a little carried away with this, but I hope you enjoy it friend!!!

The first time Viktor wore one of Jayce’s shirts, it felt like a revelation of sorts.

He’d been covered in soot from an easily preventable explosion in the lab; the kind that happened when Viktor pulled an all nighter tinkering with mechanics and ignored every sign his body was sending to stop and go home to get some sleep. Innovation took time and effort, and since the deadlines kept becoming tighter and the pressure higher, ignoring his basic needs seemed like the only logical solution to guarantee they’d secure the grant they so desperately needed.

Viktor was good at ignoring his own body; pain was a constant companion for him, the baseline of his sensory experience. Numbness was a bigger cause for worry than the more often than not bad day. Still, no matter how much he’d like to shove his own needs aside, his body knew exactly how to get his attention. His fingers trembled while messing with a particularly refined piece of machinery, and the next thing he knew was that his hair would be smelling like smoke for the foreseeable future.

Something was different about this particular flub on his part, though. Because Jayce seemed to materialise behind Viktor, hands frantically palming at his face, removing his goggles gently. There were no reprimanding words from his partner, who seemed more worried than irritated (he was never irritated, never at Viktor. It was a feeling Jayce seemed to save for any other living creature but him.)

It always surprised Viktor how delicate Jayce could be when need called for it. His broad, strong hands reached for a rag across their work station, dipping it into a forgotten glass of water, and like it was second nature to him, wiping the dirt off of Viktor’s face as gently as one would bathe a newborn. He kept asking if Viktor was okay, and usually it would annoy him, being treated like he was too fragile for his own good. Like a broken, sorry thing— he never felt that when the gentleness came from Jayce. Viktor had remained unusually quiet throughout the whole process, and he was thankful that Jayce didn’t press him for answers on what went wrong. The truth was, Viktor had no idea. He was exhausted, and the explosion took out the last of his energy. All he’d had left in him was the resignation of being beat by his own limitations, and a reprieve from his own pride, at least for that moment.

That was, until Jayce started unbuttoning his shirt.

“I’m not letting you go home like that.”

Viktor could feel his cheeks heating up as he watched Jayce make quick work of the numerous small buttons in his work shirt. Fashion in Pilltover was all about style over efficiency, and while this wasn’t the first time he’d seen his partner shirtless, it was the first time he’d witnessed the process of undressing. Like the soot in his hair, he could tell the image of the fabric slipping off Jayce’s shoulders would remain in his head for much longer than he would like.

“Jayce, I live in the academy, I don’t think it is necessary for you to give me the clothes off your back so I can cross the street.” It’s a solid argument. Viktor’s confidence in his own words, however, is faltering. People already treat him like he doesn’t belong. Walking around covered in dirt surely won’t help his case.

Jayce’s shirt now rested on his shoulder, and he knelt down in front of Viktor, which definitely did not help with making him any calmer. His heart felt like it was beating inside his throat.

“I don’t want you breathing all that soot. Won’t be good for you, is all.”

Oh. Impossible man. Worried about Viktor’s wellbeing. Always worried about Viktor’s wellbeing. Viktor could feel his chest tightening with how much he adored that stubborn, gentle, caring man.

The feeling of Jayce’s hands brushing against the collar of his shirt broke the spell, simultaneously casting a different one. Viktor took a shallow breath, and it took all the strength he still had in him to gently slap Jayce’s hands away from him. He might be dirty and tired, but he still had some level of self preservation within him.

“I am perfectly capable of undressing myself.”

That wins him a chuckle. Viktor wishes he could have the sound on loop inside his heart.

His hands are still shaking, and Jayce is nothing if not patient, so he doesn’t protest as Viktor takes his time. His gaze remains trained on Viktor, with something that toyed the line between friendly care and loving adoration. Viktor was sure that he was reading into it, projecting feelings into honey warm eyes. How was it possible that even with his heartbeat loud in his ears, Viktor didn’t feel like fleeing? How was it that exposing his bare, bruised skin didn’t feel like humiliation? How could Jayce make him feel above judgement, even if for just a second?

They fell into silence once more. Jayce took Viktor’s discarded shirt from his trembling hands, helping him into his own far too large button down. It felt silly, wearing it. It felt magical, healing, intimate, forbidden, sensual, all at once. Viktor did not protest when Jayce buttoned the shirt for him. He welcomed Jayce’s company as they walked to his apartment, Jayce very much still shirtless, but happy to have shielded Viktor from prying eyes.

Viktor later would admit that changing out of the dirty shirt kept him from waking up with a nastier cough than usual. What he kept to himself was that after a long shower, he’d changed back into Jayce’s shirt and wore it to bed. Did things while wearing it that brought him shame for a moment, but exhaustion was quick to take him out for the night, and he’d dreamed of Jayce, and woke up to his smell, and never gave the shirt back.

It was the first of many shirts he’d steal. Jayce did not get them back when they moved in together. Those belonged to Viktor now, like Viktor’s heart belonged to Jayce, and Jayce’s belonged to him.

[helluvagirlboss]

Sifting through a sea of really bad faith takes, I was able to find a criticism that was made in good faith that makes sense, and it’s actually a criticism I have of the show too.

There are a lot of fanfics out there that are great but most of them posted their first chapter without entirely knowing where the story was going, and it shows sometimes.

There have been a few times in the past where Brandon and Viv have mentioned the writing for S1 and S2, mainly in S1, was them trying to figure out where this story was going to go.

This is mainly evident at the end of S1 and the beginning of S2. People have said the tonal shift from the end of S1 to the beginning of S2 was jarring, but I felt like the tonal shift from “Truth Seekers” to “Ozzie’s” was more shocking because “Ozzie’s” was the first time i had any indication that Stolas genuinely cared about Blitz even a little.

It’s still a great episode but it felt like a jarring shift from the action and comedy of the previous episodes.

The beginning of S2 read like they realized where they wanted the show to go, but they were stuck in the episode format of S1 where the order of the episodes didn’t entirely matter. As much as I loved s2, the plot structure episode over episode left a bit to be desired. They got better at in the second half but still.

They have since said that S3 and S4 were completely mapped out so this is likely a criticism that will be rolled back depending on how these seasons turn out.

So on one hand, the lack of clear direction at the start and figuring it out as they go is how writing it like a fanfic is not a great idea.

However, the way in which I think it’s a good thing is that because the show isn’t bound by a grand plot the same way Hazbin Hotel is, character growth and development gets to happen more over the course of a few episodes and it’s not expected to be wrapped up in one episode for the sake of moving the plot along.

Stolas and Blitz are characters that have been going through a lot of changes over the course of S2, and where they are in “Sinsmas” is a a far cry from where they were at the end of S1, but it took them 12 episodes to get there.

And their growth isn’t completely done yet. Stolas has a lot of growing to do as he rebuilds his life from losing everything, as he learns what real love actually is, as he learns what the average citizen of Hell has to deal with, and as he tries to make up for the ways he messed up with both Blitz and Octavia.

And while Blitz has made good strides in his growth, he still hates himself. He still has shit self-esteem and the only reason it’s not resurfacing right now is because Stolas’s wellbeing is dependent on Blitz also not falling apart, but what happens when Blitz can’t hold it together anymore? Also Blitz still has to make things right with his sister which is going to be much harder than anything else for him.

And that’s not even counting the growth Loona, Millie, Moxxie, and Octavia have to undergo over the next two seasons.

TLDR: The show is written like a fanfic, and while that has hurt the show in terms of plot structure, it has helped the show in terms of its characters.

At the end of the day, I will ultimately care if the characters make it to the end of a story with a satisfying conclusion. I do hope the plot structure improves, and with the way the show ended in S2, I have a lot of hope for that.

"This show/movie feels like a fan fiction" isn't the flex people believe it is.

Do you have the slightest idea of how much passion writers, both newbies and veterans, put into their work? And how fan fiction is a great way to explore a movie or a show in new ways?

I'm a fan fic writer AND reader. If you say something feels like fan fiction, I'm happy!

GIMME THAT ANGST/COMFORT-SHARING A BED-CHILDHOOD ROMANCE GOODNESS!!

[coraniaid]

I know it's never going to happen, but it sure would be nice if people in the Buffy fandom could shut about how much they hate Kennedy. We get it, you're boring and predictable and have poor taste. But why not just ... keep it to yourself? Why assume everybody scrolling the tags wants to read your bad takes?

You don't even have anything original to say.

"Oh, but the writers rushed Willow into a new relationship too soon; Willow would never--"

I'm sorry, but are we talking about Willow Rosenberg, the girl who tried to encourage Buffy back into "date mode" because "love is nice" not only weeks after Buffy's ex-boyfriend had lost his soul, but while he was still actively terrorizing her and trying to kill her friends? The girl who tried to set Buffy up with a new boyfriend, because "you're ready now", just days after Buffy got back from months spent hiding out alone in a strange city while grieving over having to send that same ex-boyfriend to hell to save the world? Who -- after said ex came back from hell and then broke up with her -- then pushed her to try to date the first person who seemed interested in her in college, no matter how reluctant Buffy told her she was and how little either of them knew about him? That's the Willow we're talking about? That's the girl you think wouldn't rush into a new relationship?

Willow has always invested a huge amount of her self-worth in being worthy of love and being able to be loved by others, and she's always assumed that everyone else does the same. That's who she is. We're talking about the girl who ran off to cry when she realized the friend she'd been crushing on for years was dating somebody she didn't like because "it means you'd rather be with somebody you hate than be with me". The girl who only finally got over said crush when she started dating somebody new. Who was so upset when he left her too, years later, that she attracted the attention of a vengeance demon who told her she had "pain that pierces dimensional walls"; and who only really got over that when she met Tara. Who later describes her relationship with Tara as "the only thing" she had going for her. All the way back in Season 1, the first episode that ever focused on Willow was about her attracting the romantic attention of a demon obsessed with wanting its followers to love and worship it. Wanting to be loved is, arguably, the most consistent character trait Willow has ever had.

And look: Willow tortured and killed the man who murdered Tara; she came close to ending the world rather than living in it without her; when she comes back to Sunnydale months later, still mourning, she makes a point of visiting Tara's grave. She's twenty-one years old. It's not moving too fast for her to want to be part of a relationship again; it's the only way somebody like Willow can really stop being unhappy and find some measure of peace and emotional stability. Do you really want Willow to end the show miserable and single and mourning? Do you think that shows more respect towards Tara?

"Oh, but Kennedy is so different from Tara, surely Willow would never--"

We don't know what Willow's type is! Before Season 7, Tara is the only woman we ever see Willow show the slightest bit of interest in! And, again, Willow is twenty one years old. She met Tara when they were both teenagers. Are you still exclusively interested in the type of person you were attracted to when you were a teenager?

Tara is different enough from Oz, who was different enough from Xander, that I think it's safe to guess that Willow's romantic taste is broader than you might think. And the one thing that Kennedy does have in common with Tara (and with Oz before her) is that she is very, very obviously into Willow as soon as they meet. That's what we know about Willow's type: she falls for people who are, on sight, transfixed by Willow.

"Oh, but Kennedy treats Buffy so disrepectfully, she--"

Wow. A teenage girl not showing proper reverence to an older, more experienced person who -- without consulting her about it -- positions themselves as some sort of unelected authority figure? Oh, yes, I can see why fans of Buffy the Vampire Slayer would hate somebody like that. That's nothing like anybody we've seen on the show before.

Why should Kennedy like Buffy? Why should she respect her? She doesn't know her! Anything she's heard about Buffy Summers before Season 7 she'd have heard from the Watchers, who have no reason to be honest or favorable about her. When she gets to Sunnydale she gets to live in Buffy's crowded, cramped house, and train in her garden all day, and listen to speeches by somebody who tells her she's probably going to die soon and will probably deserve it. Somebody who doesn't make any effort to get to know her or bond with her as a person. Somebody who mocks girls like her for being driven to suicide (girls who are, in Buffy's words, "weak" and "idiots"), who sleeps with vampires and is friends with demons and comes up with plans that get the other Potentials -- Kennedy's friends, girls Kennedy herself feels responsible for (just like Buffy would if their positions were reversed!) -- seriously hurt or even killed. What does Buffy ever do to earn Kennedy's respect?

Don't get me wrong, most of Buffy's friends treat her pretty terribly this season [this is not a comment about Buffy's friends as much as it is about the quality of the writing this season]. But while Dawn or Willow or Xander helping to kick Buffy out of her own house is appalling and ungrateful and out of character, when Kennedy does it it makes sense. Buffy hasn't ever treated Kennedy as a friend, so why would she magically become one?

"Oh, but Kennedy is so rich and entitled and bossy, she--"

You're a hypothetical Buffy fan on Tumblr. I know if I look I will find posts talking about how much you like Season 1 Cordelia Chase. I'm just saying that maybe this isn't a route you want to go down.

"Oh, but Kennedy's just in the season too much, I wanted more focus on the original--"

This season does try to juggle too many characters, and it would be better if it spent more time examining Buffy's relationship with Willow and Xander and Giles. But the way you achieve that is by downplaying Andrew Wells (a lot), cutting out a lot of the more forgettable Potentials, entirely getting rid of Caleb [the actual worst Buffy character, for the record] and throwing out the awful time-wasting subplots around Spike's hypnotic trigger and the non-mystery of Giles obviously not being the First. It's not by reducing the amount of screen time Kennedy or Robin Wood get, because they are the new characters this season should actually be about.

"Oh, but-"

No, enough. I'm sick of it.

[quesocheeso]

What would you say is your biggest piece of advice when making a comic?

..asking for a *cough* friend-

Make a story where you are the main audience

Sure getting nice comments from people who are excited to see your updates or discussing what happens next is nice and all but your #1 fan should be yourself above anyone else. Write what you want to write not what others suggest you do or believe is the right way.

Don’t be discouraged by people who think you’re writing something wrong, that’s their opinion and if they think you’re wrong they should go out and make their own story, free will and creativity are free it only takes determination to create something of your own.

And finally, it doesn’t matter what skill level you are at, storytelling is its own art form, just having the will to make something is amazing on its own, it’s your own little world that no one else is privy to, create for it and no matter what people will be able to see how much you care for it and will get invested in it, and even if they don’t it is still something of your own and you should cherish it, it is a small part of your heart after all.

It’s because I’m creating for myself that I’m able to pump out so much art for this AU, because I want to see what happens next, I want to evolve this little world of my own, and even if I had no one else who liked this AU I would still create for it.

You have to love what you are doing.

(Also rest when you get bored of the comic, it happens, it will happen. And if the time ever comes when you can’t keep writing for it, then stop, like I said you are your main audience, and if you’re not having fun with the comic anymore then it is time to rest and maybe even move on to something else. It happens, never feel bad about it, just keep on moving to the next fun thing👍.

[wardenparker]

In the Still of the Night, ch 8

Zach Wellison x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

Grown up and looking to the future, Zach Wellison and bunkmate Shane Morrissey are working for a new cruise line that offers its guests a vintage Vegas experience on the Mediterranean. The romantic atmosphere is rubbing off on many of the crew members, and Zach finds himself to be no exception when he meets the beautiful lead singer of Shane's band.

But being wrapped in the seductive arms of an atmospheric cruise is a far cry from real life. How will their relationship fare on dry land? They can't know unless they try.

Rating: M for Mature but this blog is always 18+ Word Count: 9.4k Warnings: *Blanket warnings for this story include: Cursing, alcohol, food, cooking, eating, discussion of clothing/costumes. Mentions of prison time served, mentions of past homelessness.* Family death, grief, unexpected complications, lawyers. Summary: A visit to your grandmother's lawyer and the matter of your inheritance make things slightly more complicated. Notes: We're sort of barreling toward the third act of a relatively short soulmate story here, folks! Thank you so much to all of the readers who have stuck with Zach's journey 🧡

Ch 1 ~ Ch 2 ~ Ch 3 ~ Ch 4 ~ Ch 5 ~ Ch 6 ~ Ch 7

The funeral isn’t long, because your grandmother would have hated people moaning and crying over her being gone, but the time spent with friends and visitors and extended family in the house seems interminable. Zach plays a steady role in keeping things organized and the food flowing, and you make sure that the buffet tables are stocked as people arrive throughout the day with contributions. It seems as though grief finally catches up with your mother after the services have all finished, and she excuses herself early to go up to bed. With your assurance that you can take care of everything, your father joins her, and that leaves you and Zach to host as well as clean up. Thankfully, it does mean that you can make sure your mother is taken care of. Out of habit, she tries to be as little of an inconvenience to the people around her as possible, so it’s good that she’s taking care of herself in a time of need.

The house is spotless when you and Zach go to bed on Thursday night. When you wake up on Friday morning there are plenty of leftovers to eat for breakfast, but your parents aren’t up yet so you leave a note that you’re going out. It’s time to see the lawyer, and handle the final wave of logistics before the weekend comes and you fly back to meet the ship.

“Listen. We can stop by and grab some coffee before we get to the office.” Zach offers, reaching for your hand as he drives. He’s been the one hauling you around and he likes it. Learning your hometown easier this way and he’s figured out he prefers to be the one in control behind the wheel. “What do you say? We can pick her up a chai tea.” She had mentioned she had chai with your grandmother when you scheduled the appointment time on the phone.

“Sure.” His fingers slide through yours in a comforting movement of silent support. “Do you want to go back to the place by the park?”

“They had pretty good coffee.” He agrees, flashing you a grin. He loves a good cup of coffee and he’s been a little homesick for the café on the ship. “I think you would probably love a latte right now.”

“I definitely would. And a croissant breakfast sandwich.” Not that you expect this meeting to be very long, but it’s good to have a fully belly and a clear head for anything involving business.

“You read my mind.” He laughs. “I didn’t want anything in the fridge this morning, as bad as that is to say.”

“Me either.” You hold his hand in your lap while he drives. “Maybe because I know we’ll be eating it for dinner, too. We can skip it for breakfast.”

“Perfectly logical to me.” Things have been quiet, mournful, but that’s to be expected. Darrel had yet to come by to check on your parents today, but maybe that would happen when you are at the lawyer’s office.

The drive doesn’t take long. It doesn’t take long to get to much of anything in this town, but the lawyer’s office is on the edge of things near the city so it’s about as far as you can get without actually going into Tulsa. This is the good side of town. The built up, cared for, manicured side of town. The side of town people actually go to for things other than going home.

“We’re here to see Miss Flores.” You tell the receptionist when you walk in with your small treat of coffees and purse high on your shoulder. The sandwiches had been demolished in the car while they were hot. “We have an appointment for ten o’clock, I know we’re a few minutes early.”

She checks your name against the appointment schedule and smiles as she stands up. "Of course. My condolences." She offers before coming around the desk to usher you through double glass doors. "Miss Flores instructed me to show you into the conference room." She explains. "I will let her know you are here, right away."

“Thank you.” Manners are the best you can do right about now. You’ve never had to go see a lawyer about a loved one’s last wishes before. It’s overwhelming at best and horrifying at worst. Once the receptionist leaves you alone in the conference room, you set down the tray of drinks and plop into a comfortable looking chair. “Maybe we can ask if she has the keys to Gram’s house? I’m still hoping I can show you more than just the outside.”

"Maybe so." He was impressed when told that the locks had been changed. It kept people from being dishonest. Not that he thought you or your parents would be, but other family members might feel entitled to mementos that weren't theirs.

"I hope so." The latte that you ordered very particularly is still hot in the cup holder, but you take that and Zach's coffee out to sit with and maybe start to sip.

“Is there anything you hope she’s left you?” He asks curiously, knowing that you’ve spoken extensively about the memories. Maybe there is something that would symbolize it for you.

"It's a long shot," you admit, sitting back with your latte. "But..." Glancing at Zach feels loaded, so you look down at your hands. "We had talked a few times when I was growing up about her wedding dress. She always said she would do the alterations for me herself, but...I never really knew if I'd ever get married so it hadn't been mentioned for a long time."

“Then I hope she has left it to you.” He hums softly, a smile curving his lips at the thought of you in a wedding dress.

"What's that look for?" Alright, you peeked at his face when he started talking. Just to make sure he wasn't too twisted up about the idea of you thinking about weddings.

“Trying to imagine you in a wedding dress I’ve never seen.” He admits, grinning as he reaches out and takes your hand.

"Yeah?" It might be the happiest thought you've had in a week, and for a moment you let the joy of it wash over you until you remember once more that your grandmother won't be able to see you marry the man beside you — if you ever decide to tie the knot, that is.

He sees the way your eyes cloud over with sorrow, fresh grief as if another notion has hit you. He leans over and presses his lips to yours. “I know, baby, I know.” He murmurs softly. “But she’d still be there.”

"I'm sorry." You have to sniffle back fresh tears, and even though he always says you don't need to be sorry for grieving, you don't want your first reaction to talking about marriage with him to be tears of sadness. "I'm okay. I promise."

“Baby, I know.” He soothes you, rubbing your shoulder. “When we get married, we will make sure that she will be with us.” You have talked about her a lot, she’s an important part of your life, so it’s important to him that you feel her presence on that special day.

"I like the sound of 'when'," you sigh into his chest when he hugs you close, welcoming the warmth and strength of him before you hear a polite knock at the conference room door and the gentle click of a doorknob turning.

Zach doesn’t jump away from you. He does pull back, kissing your hairline again. The lawyer who handled the case seems to understand how special your gram was to you, so he doesn’t feel like it would be a surprise that you need comfort. He turns towards Miss Flores with a smile. “I hope you don’t mind me being here.” He offers. “Emotional support.”

"Of course not." She understands already that the two of you come as a unit. Thankfully this meeting should be full of good news despite the emotional weight. Tanya Flores sets her paperwork down on the desk, gratefully accepts the hot chai when it is offered to her, and pulls her reading glasses out of her pocket. "There is quite a bit of paperwork to get through, as you can see," she pats the stack in front of her. "But hopefully it shouldn't be difficult."

Zach is a little confused by the amount of paperwork, knowing that it shouldn’t be that much just to have a dress and maybe a few baubles, but he doesn’t say anything. “Did she want everyone brought in separately?” He asks.

"Incidentally?" Miss Flores opens the folder on top of the stack and offers a smile. "This is everyone."

Your brow furrows instantly, confusion making you shift closer to Zach in your chair and wondering if it would be terribly immature to sneak a peek at the paperwork in that folder. "I don't understand."

"You are your grandmother's sole heir," the lawyer tells you gently, and she folds her hands over the top of the open folder. "She was very specific about making sure her estate was in good order for whenever it would be passed to you."

Zach freezes before looking over at you in surprise. He has no clue what that might entail, but he shifts slightly in his chair, aware that it is probably substantial. Hell, she owned a house, a gorgeous one. “Wow.” He murmurs.

"But..." Feeling more than a little shocked by that news, you shift in your chair and look quickly between Zach and Miss Flores as if their faces might hold the answer you're looking for. "She had other family. My mother, my aunt. She had two other grandkids. None of them?"

Flores shakes her head, quietly amused that this question had been anticipated. "She felt that the other potential inheritors — her daughters, and your two cousins, specifically — she felt that they were well provided for already and that you would benefit most from what her estate had to offer." When she smiles this time, there is something nostalgic in it. "She confided in me several times that you were her favorite, Bunny. That you reminded her the most of herself."

“If-“ he knows you are struggling with the idea of getting everything, you aren’t a selfish person in the least. “If she wanted to let the cousins, her aunt, mom, have some sentimental items - that’s alright, right?” He asks, sure that if it was, it might make you feel better.

"Yes." She nods in agreement, flipping one more page of the file open. "Once the paperwork is signed, the estate is yours to do with as you see fit, with one notable exception."

"Which is?" You ask, swallowing down the idea of your grandmother having put her entire life in your hands. It's a wonderful, loving gesture. But also a bit overwhelming.

"Her real estate holdings." Miss Flores produces a pen from nowhere and sits back in her seat. "Her will is quite strict about those going to you and you alone."

Zach frowns slightly, knowing that your grandmother knew that you didn’t want to live in Oklahoma. So why would the house go to you. “To sell?” He asks, knowing you might have some conflicting feelings about letting go of a piece of her legacy. “You don’t have to, babe.” He promises you.

"I really don't...I didn't expect this." He knows that. He knows you didn't think that very much would go to you. Some records. A keepsake or two. Her wedding dress is you were very lucky. But the house? That's enormous. "So..." You turn back to Miss Flores and try to gather your thoughts. "The house has to go to me. Does that mean I can never sell it?"

"Not at all. It simply means that she wanted you to be the one to make the decisions and to have the final say. She specifies in the document that she would prefer for you to wait until you are comfortably settled to consider selling anything, but a sale is your prerogative."

"So what does all of this really mean?" It's a lot of information to take in all at once, and you're not sure where to start. "Can I see her will?"

“Your grandmother wished that you would read her letter first.” She pulls out a creamy vellum envelope that has your gram’s familiar loopy script, your name on the outside of it.

A letter. Now that is familiar. That is something you hoped for. That is something you can deal with, as Miss Flores hands over the envelope and you take in the fact that it is very thin indeed.

Bunny, My sweet girl. If you're reading this, I'm very sorry. I can only hope you're happy in your life and that the choices you have made have helped you grow as the wonderful woman I'm very proud to call my granddaughter. Throughout the course of my life, there have been so many ups and downs. I know that has already been the same for you. That you have worked so hard for the life that you love and are proud of. You are a shining light, sweet girl. I know you will make all of us so proud and your family so happy. I wish you had been able to meet your grandfather, Bun. He was a wonderful man, and a clever one. My soulmate always knew exactly what to say and how to support me. From what you've told me of your Zach, they sound very much alike. Well, your grandfather was also smart. He taught me about investments and real estate. He wanted to make sure I would be able to take care of myself after he was gone. That income has been what kept me going these last few decades, and I hope that it will for you, too. Tanya will explain the logistics, sweet girl, but the heart of it is that I love you. That I have always been more proud of you heart and your spunk and your dreams than anyone else I've known. You're going to go as far in this life as you dream, my girl, and I hope that with a little help from your Gram it's not just hard work getting you there, but a little fun too.

I love you. I'm so proud of you. And don't let anyone else's dreams muddy up the beautiful ones that are yours alone.

Love, Gram.

Zach doesn’t look over your shoulder. He’s sure that you will share it with him. Instead, he watches you. Giving you his presence, and you when you choke out a sob and reach for his hand, he’s right there.

He knows how important this goodbye letter is, he’s read them before, been the distributor of a fallen brother’s final words. The peace and simultaneous heartbreak it brings is almost necessary for you. A memento of your gram’s last thought to you that you can reread again and again.

Tanya's instructions were very straightforward. After giving you the letter, she is supposed to present to you the three pieces of real estate holding that now belong to you. From the folder in front of her, she produces two maps and sets them in the middle of the table. "Your grandmother owned three buildings. One is this," she indicates the map on the left. "Her house here in Tulsa. Three bedrooms, two bath, fenced in yard and landscaped patio. I know you know this house very well." She clears her throat softly. "The other two are here," she indicates the map on the right. "A performance venue and nearby townhouse in Brooklyn Heights, New York."

“New York?” Zach doesn’t mean to say that out loud, but it startles him. Had she been planning something?

“When I helped her purchase the properties some years ago, she had very specific intentions,” Tanya explains. “Apparently, this theater and the townhouse used to belong to her late husband’s family. It was a vaudeville theater, then a movie house, and then they had to sell. So they sold the house too, and left the city. The opportunity arose about ten years ago for her to buy both properties, and she wanted them to come back to the family. She has been living off the income as an absentee landlady for a decade, which suited her just fine as she had very few expenses. But…” Next from the folder are floor plans, which she sets out in front of you and Zach. “When she learned that you had found your soulmate and he is a chef, she started researching plans to update the club’s kitchen.” Tanya smiles as the tears of recognition start to form in your eyes. “She was planning on giving you the nightclub to run and the home to raise your family in as a wedding present. But she wrote out her will with specifics just in case she didn’t get to see you married.”

“Holy shit.” Zach is stunned, letting go of your hand to slump back onto his chair in shock. A gift of that magnitude is nearly impossible to imagine. “A dinner club.” He murmurs softly, rubbing a hand over his face as he takes it all in.

“That’s…basically what we’re doing on the ship…” Which your grandmother knew. She was a clever and thoughtful woman. She understood what she was doing when she put all of these pieces together. The puzzle was a complete picture to her. “Oh my god. I don’t…” you gape, stunned into staggering silence. “She—she really left us all of it?”

“Yes she did.” Tanya Flores smiles. “It was her hope that you would establish a club that would fulfill your dreams and spark your creativity.” It was touching how far the grandmother had gone to help you accomplish your dreams. “Right now, there are tenants in the townhouse, but whenever you are ready, we can give them notice since they are month to month.”

“I don’t…” you glance at Zach and frown. “I don’t feel very good about asking people to give up their home.”

Zach can understand that, but he reaches out and covers your hand with his. “Whatever you want to do.” He promises, knowing that it has to be your choice.

"There are a lot of things to consider." A lot of things that will change your entire lives. There are no two ways about that. Your grandmother has rocked that boat with one fell swoop.

"Of course." Tanya agrees. "I understand you're both working on a cruise ship right now. If you like, for the duration of your contracts, my office can work with a real estate agent in Brooklyn to help the couple in the town house relocate. We will make sure they have all the time and help necessary to find a comparable home."

"That would be...it would be much better." The thought of kicking people out of their home would have horrified you just from your own experiences trying to find places to live in the city, but knowing what Zach went through? You would never.

Zach smiles at the palpable relief that is on your face. Thrilled that you don’t have to worry about kicking someone out of the home they are in. “And if they move quickly? You can always have Diana stay in the townhouse.” He suggests.

“She would love that.” But you would never ask the family living there now to leave earlier for that purpose.

Sitting beside Zach, you push out a a long breath and carefully slide the map and floor plan of the townhouse toward the two of you. It’s got four bedrooms, almost as many baths, a little backyard behind the place, and some unexpected underground parking spaces. “Look at this,” you almost laugh in disbelief when you point that detail out to him. “Maybe we could even get a car.” As city dwellers, neither of you had or had needed a car for the last few years. Maybe it would be something to think about for the future.

“Wow.” He snorts. “We would be the taxi service for everyone we know.” He jokes. “And I seem to be pretty good about driving that big ass SUV around.” It wasn’t as big as some of the trucks he had driven in the Marines, but it also rides a hell of a lot better.

"One day." He sounds so excited about it that's actually pretty sweet. "But nothing as big as that SUV." Suddenly, though, you go soft all over. "Unless it's for kids."

“Hmmmm.” Zach doesn’t panic, he has the same soft look in his eyes that you do. “Yeah, kids need room.”

"First thing's first." You reach for his hand again and thread your fingers together, holding it in your lap as you turn back to face Miss Flores. "I'm sure this is more complicated than handing us the keys and sending us on our way?"

“And we need to protect her inheritance.” Zach adds. “Is there - I mean - like a prenup before a prenup?” He asks. “Something to protect her?”

"There are measures that can be taken." Tanya confirms, touched to see your soulmate working tirelessly on your side. "The financial assets of the estate have been placed in a trust to be paid out to you in a monthly stipend. Special withdrawals can be made under certain circumstances, like medical debt or education. We have all the parameters." After a moment, she looks between them with curiosity. "If you're planning on being married soon, I can certainly draw up a prenuptial agreement between you, if you like. I would be happy to help."

You look like a startle doe, eyes wide as you stare at her, but Zach quickly nods. “Yes.” He tells her firmly. “Everything she inherits from her grandmother along with anything bought from money her grandmother left her, remains hers.” He insists, squeezing your hand gently so you don’t protest.

"I don't..." You swallow hard and look over at Zach in surprise. "I don't foresee any circumstance where we would ever get divorced, babe. Isn't a prenup just for...super wealthy people who get married on a whim?"

“It can also be used to shelter one from lawsuits that could affect marital assets.” Miss Flores murmurs and Zach shakes his head. “I know that you don’t see that happening, and I know I don’t want to ever leave your side.” He sighs softly. “I just don’t want there to ever be any question of if I am with you for the right reasons.”

It's a hell of a lot to take in, but when you sort through all the details and the deciding factors, and everything in between, the thing that sticks out is just you and Zach. Forever. And that is a thing you know that you want beyond a shadow of a doubt. "And..if we're never going to get divorced or anything..." You look between the two other people at the table again. "It shouldn't really matter that we ever did one, right? It's just paperwork that we signed and filed away. It shouldn't matter unless something awful happens?"

“I just—” Zach takes both of your hands in his. “I want to make sure that you and everything that you have worked so hard for, everything that your grandmother has worked so hard for, it preserved. For you, for our kids down the line, from everything we could possibly foresee. And everything we can’t.” He sighs. “And I don’t want your parents to ever, for a second, have anything to use against me.”

Your fingers thread together, holding onto him tightly and exhaling longer and deeper than you usually would. “I’m upset about the fact that you’re right,” you admit quietly. “They might try. And I hate that. So…” You nod and lean in to press your forehead to his. “Yeah. We’ll do a prenup. There’s nothing wrong with being safe and protected.”

He knows that you don’t want to, but eventually, they will find out about the fact that he had been homeless. That he had pulled himself up with the generous help of friends doesn’t matter, he would be a gold digger. This would stop that conversation quickly. “Thank you.” He murmurs softly, leaning down and kissing your knuckles.

“But…” A gentle nudge in the right direction seems okay, all things considered. “Now that means you’re gonna have to propose.”

“I know.” He chuckles softly. “I’ve been dragging my feet by soulmate standards.”

“I’ll give you two a few minutes.” Miss Flores had considered it pertinent to be present for the decision of whether or not the paperwork would be necessary. Now that the answer is yes, she excuses herself to her office to begin the drawing-up process. “I’ll return soon.”

“Do you want me to do it now?” Zach asks seriously, frowning at the unromantic nature of proposing in a lawyer’s office. But he would if that’s what you want.

“I want you to ask when you want to.” With a bit of privacy, you shift closer to him in your chair and practically sigh when he puts his arms around you. “I would also be okay if you had never asked and we just stayed together as partners. What do they call that? Common law?” That makes you shrug. “If I’m getting all of Gram’s things…she had some really beautiful rings. And I wanted to wear her dress anyway. We could just…skip the fuss and ask the captain to do it when we get back to the ship?”

“I want you to have a ring.” Zach frowns, shaking his head. “I can afford that at least.”

“Compromise?” You know Zach can be stubborn about his earnings and purchases, and that it comes from a very complicated place, so you hold both of his hands and offer him a smile. “We’ll look through Gram’s jewelry and we’ll go to some of the jewelry shops in town. You decide from those options, if you want to use an heirloom or buy something new. Is that okay? Because I only care that it comes from you.”

“That sounds good.” He agrees, but if it comes down to it, he will buy a ring from you to give as an engagement ring.

“So…we’re getting married, then?” The note of happiness in your voice is muddied with the grief you’ve been feeling and comes out sounding like disbelief.

“Baby…from the second I found out you wore my marks, I’ve thought about marrying you.” He promises softly. “I have saving been every dime I could to buy you a ring.”

“I love you so much.” A quiet promise in a quiet room, with your arms around each other and your heads bowed together. It’s a promise for the future, one that you will happily tie up with his to see what beautiful things will grow.

“I love you too.” He promises. “You know that’s why I want this prenup, right? Not because I’m afraid things won’t work out. I know they are. You’re it for me.”

“I do understand,” you promise him. “I just always think of those things as being for rich people who get married on a whim. You’re being practical, though, and I appreciate that.”

“I love you.” He hums. “Not your money or your property, what you can do for me – you.” He kisses your lips. “And honestly? It sounds like you are now a rich woman.”

“Let’s not jump ahead of ourselves.” Nothing about your Gram or the way she lived said rich, but at least it does enough to break the simmering seriousness in the room when you laugh a little.

“Richer than we are.” He smirks at you. “And she’s given you a wonderful gift.”

“That club is for both of us.” You squeeze him gently, but the look in your eyes is proud. “That’s our very own business. Your own kitchen to run just as you please and cook what you love.”

“I want to contribute to it. To build it with you.” He promises. “Of course I want that. I want to build a life with you. One I couldn’t even imagine a few years ago.”

“We will.” For you, that is a resounding promise. That you’ll do things together. Be a team. And build your future from the ground up.

******

Settling the estate and having things turned over to you isn’t like snapping your fingers. It still has to be signed off by the judge in probate court, but Miss Flores had assured you that it would go quickly. The judge was already aware of your grandmother’s wishes. However, you leave the office with the new keys to her home after signing enough papers to make your hand numb while Zach supported you.

“We’ll have a fair amount of cleaning to do.” With the key in the lock, you open the front door of your grandmother’s house and wish yet again that you were just coming over for lunch instead. “We’ll have to come back and do a full clean out and packing…I guess after the cruise is over?”

“Whenever you want to do it.” Zach promises. “We can go at any pace you want with this.”

“I’d like to not do it at all.” You can recognize that. That you wish hand the house straight back to your grandmother , but it too late now.

“I know babe.” He reaches out and holds your shoulder. “We don’t have to do this right now. We can wait.”

"No, it's okay." If you're honest with yourself, it's a way to feel like she's still here. To spend time in her house and with her things. Even if they legally belong to you now, they're all still hers. "I want to be able to share these memories with you. It helps to miss her less."

“Then I want to hear everything.” He promises as he steps inside with you. “Every little story you want to tell me. Funny, sad, embarrassing, all of it.”

The two of you end up upstairs first, wading through the easier-to-take-account-of items in your grandmother's guest room. There are only a few things there besides furniture, but you discover very quickly that she had used the spare closet as a place to hang her old dresses and boxes of jewelry and shoes — even handbags — that she had not used in some time.

“Wow.” Even though he knows less than zero about fashion, he can tell that you are fascinated by the closets. “Did you used to wear these dresses playing when you were little?”

"I was never allowed to touch these." Each properly stored and preserved in its own dress bag with protective tissue, you're as careful with these dresses as you would be if someone had just handed you a gun. "My grandparents used to go on date nights every single week for their entire marriage, and Granddad loved to dance. She told me stories about him bringing her to all kinds of dances and supper clubs and parties. These were her date clothes."

Zach is in awe, wondering what kind of life – fun that had been. It must have been amazing. Their connection strong and true. It makes him wonder how your mother could be so indifferent to soulmates after witnessing the love that must have been present between your grandparents. “You should wear them.” He decides suddenly.

"Where?" Your eyebrows raise in question when you tilt your head to look at him. "The ship? I don't know if the salt air would be good for them...I tried not to bring anything precious on board just in case."

“No.” He shakes his head quickly, knowing you would be devastated if something were to happen to the dresses. “When – if – we make the idea of a club on land a reality.” He explains. With your grandmother’s planning and generous gift, it was closer to a reality than the daydreaming you had done together when lying in bed on the ship.

"When." You feel as certain of that as you do of him. Of how much you love him and how much of a future you know is in front of you. "It will be when, baby, and we're going to make it exactly what we dreamed of."

“It would be fitting.” He reaches out and picks a dress off the bar to show you the sleek, knee-length cocktail dress in a beautifully vibrant red. “A tribute to her.”

A soft smile pulls at your lips, and you lean into his side as easily as the sun rises. "That's a deal," you decide with a smile. It's nice to smile again and not feel guilty about it. You still ache, but at least it doesn't pull you in two different directions now. "Gram's dresses are a gorgeous tribute to her. It's...well, I always did say I wanted to be just like her when I grew up. This seems like a sweet way to do it."

Zach respectfully puts the dress back very carefully. Grinning because he thinks you will appreciate wearing your grandmother’s dresses.

"I have to remind myself this isn't invading her privacy." You've taken a few boxes down from the shelf toward the top of the closet, and found two of them to be jewelry boxes. One is full of lose photos and mementos. The rest are shoes, handbags, and gloves.

“Do you want me to go make you some tea?” He asks softly, wondering if a few moments alone might be needed. He could also start going through the kitchen supplies to see what could be donated or given away. Something to be helpful.

As always, Zach seems to know exactly what you need even before you do, and you nod gratefully. “You’re a life saver. I’m so damn grateful you’re here, baby.”

“I wouldn’t be anywhere else.” He promises, giving you a soft smile before he turns and walks carefully out of the bedroom to give you some time with your memories.

It’s not easy. You knew it wouldn’t be. Which is why you sit down at the vanity in the guest room with the box of photos to have a good cry once Zach goes back downstairs. This entire ordeal is overwhelming but at least you have him to support you.

Him, and whoever is behind the ding of your cell phone.

Downstairs, Zach finds the kitchen easily enough. The space is clean and neat, something that he has to appreciate. Not like some of the older generation who hoarded useless things, the counters are clear and he quickly finds the electric tea kettle and dumps out the old water to wash and refill it.

Teacups are lined neatly beside drinking glasses in the cupboards — your grandmother apparently liked sets of things because every dish and glass matches its fellows. Just a simple white with a bold blue stripe, faded with age and a bit cracked in the glaze to show how well used they were. Even the tea is easy to find: a cylinder marked Tea sits beside Coffee on the countertop and smells distinctly of chamomile when he opens the lid. That will be a good choice, completely by accident. Soothing, he thinks, plucking out one papery bag.

Honey is quickly found, and some lemon juice that would take the place of not having any creamer. He opens the fridge and notices that there is a box of leftovers, a stark reminder that this was sudden. A life changed and interrupted before she had planned.

When he comes upstairs again you’re sitting at the vanity with photos spread out around you and your phone in your hands, taking pictures of the pictures and sending them off again.

“Here you go.” Zach had found a small tray and there were some cookies in the panty that were in an open container, apparently one of your gram’s favorites.

“You’re amazing.” When you look up to offer him a smile, your eyes are red and damp again but at least there is a smile with him. “Shane texted to check on me so I’m sending him photos.” When he comes closer you can see the cookies on the tray and even though your chin wobbles a little, the smile stays. “Her favorites,” you murmur, motioning to the cookies. The little jam-filled ones with powdered sugar on top. “I can never, ever remember what they’re called. They’re just Gram’s cookies to me.”

“I thought you would like some.” He sets the tray down on the little dresser next to the bed and sits down beside you, his hand automatically moving to your back. “Shane texted? That’s good. I know he was worried about you.”

“He’s a worry wart. It’s nice to hear from him, though.” You turn your phone to show Zach the texts and pick up the tea — fragrant chamomile, honey, and lemon. It smells like heaven. “He promises they haven’t b destroyed the club while we’ve been away. The guys are enjoying their shore leave.”

“I’m sure they are.” Zach snorts. The rest of the guys are probably out partying, but he knows Shane will be spending every second he can with his soulmate. “How’s Diana?”

“She desperately needed the vacation.” In all the commotion over going home for the funeral, you had missed seeing Diana when she flew out to spend some time in Italy with Shane while the boat was being worked on, and the crew had some leave. “I’m sorry to miss her, and I’m sorry you have to wait to meet her.”

“That’s okay.” Being with you was more important. “We have plenty of time for that.”

His meaning is clear, making your heart clench with gratitude all over again. “I love you, too.”

He loves how you know what he means, even when he’s not specifically saying it. “You should digitize the photos.” He peers over your shoulder at the memories that have been printed out.

“I was thinking about it,” you admit. “Share copies with my parents, and my aunt and cousin. I don’t want to be greedy about this stuff, ya know? Just because she left it to me doesn’t mean I’m going to hoard it.”

“And if, god forbid, something happens, you have other copies so everything isn’t lost.” He frowns slightly, remembering all the memories that are just fading away over time due to his own circumstances.

"That's why I've made backups of all of our photos." Leaning over, you press a kiss to his cheek and then sit back to sip your tea again. "Our phones, my external hard drive, and the cloud. Nothing is going to happen to our memories, babe."

“We have a lot of them.” He smiles. “Even though it hasn’t been a long time, really.” It feels like it has, but it’s not. He just feels safe for the first time in forever.

"One day my Zach box will be just as full as this one is." You promise him. The box full of your grandmother's miscellaneous memories seems to be tied together by two recurring friends in the photos. Just like you have a box full of keepsakes and memories involving Zach, your Gram had a memory box for her best friends.

“You’ll have more than just me.” He promises. “The guys, hey!” He lights up. “You think they would want to move back to land? Come with you when you decide to launch the club?” He asks. “They work so well with you.”

"I honestly can't picture doing it with any other band." The thought had never even occurred to you. In your mind, it was always you and your boys on the stage with Zach's food being served. Shane, Keo, Rick, and Cliff are a package deal that you would hate to be without.

“I thought you might feel that way.” He leans in to press his lips to your forehead. “Want me to give you a bit of space again?” He asks softly, “I’ve gotten rid of anything spoiled, but I was thinking about boxing up the foods to donate? What do you think?”

"I think that sounds like a smart idea, but not because I want to be apart from you." For your part, you kiss his cheek like he does your forehead. Soothing measures of comfort for both of you. "I was just thinking that this place doesn't deserve to be all boxed up, but at the same time? It'll be such a great home for another family one day."

“Perhaps you keep it, have a place to visit when you come to see your parents?” He offers, shrugging slightly.

"Maybe we just don't decide right now?" It's the deciding that seems so daunting. Trying to being responsible and adult and make all of the right choices all at the same time.

That’s the smartest thing right now, making Zach nod. “Miss Flores could look out for things.” He hums softly, remembering the offer.

"That would probably be good. It's not like we could get every little thing squared away in two days anyway." The flight on Sunday can't be put off, you've got to get back to your jobs on the ship. "We've got another month on board and then our contracts are up. Maybe by then we'll have a better idea of how things are going to shake out?"

“Yeah baby…” he reaches out and caresses your back. “And if you need to not renew and I need to, just— let me know.” He tells you. “I can keep working and save up if you need to take care of things here.”

The possibility of having to be long distance for months at a time while he works on the ship and you figure things out here sounds terrible, but you can't deny that it is a possibility. It's just not one you're willing to give too much thought to right now when it makes your chest ache. "We'll figure it out," you promise him. "We'll make it work."

“I know.” He smiles softly at you and sighs. “Well, I’ll be downstairs if you need me. Just yell, okay?” He wants to give you the space you need while being nearby for support.

"I'm not going to yell, babe." You give his hand a squeeze and leave a kiss on his lips before he goes back downstairs, thanking him again for the tray. It is a little easier to go through things and pick through the memories. While you sip your tea you wade through another set of photos and eventually make your way around to the jewelry boxes. Your grandmother had great taste, and to see these pieces again is a rare way to unlock those memories from your childhood when you would be over at her house at the same time she was getting ready for dinners or events or even just going to out to do the shopping.

Downstairs, Zach quickly finds a box to start loading up the non-perishable goods in. Knowing that you wouldn’t have a single objection to him finding a local shelter or food bank to donate them to. Going out into the garage to find a cooler for the items in the freezer and fridge is next, but before he can start that, you are coming down the stairs.

“There’s…um, this is for you.” In your hand is a small-ish package that you found tucked inside your grandmother’s second —larger — jewelry box. It’s tied up in brown paper and string and addressed to Zach via the ship company at the next port city. She had meant to mail it to him, very obviously, but things hadn’t turned out that way.

“For me?” He’s incredibly confused, frowning as he sets the cooker down and takes it from you. “How would she- I mean, why?” He asks you, hoping maybe you had a conversation with your grandmother that could shed some light on this.

"I told her all about you." Is all you can think to say, just as bewildered as he is. "I mean...not all but...about us. About how we met and our date in Crete and..." A softness overtakes your face and you come stand with him at the counter. "She was the first person that I told how much I love you. About...maybe four or five days before I even told you."

“Oh.” Zach seems to melt softly at that confession, a smile curving his lips as he imagines you on the phone with your grandmother gushing about him. “Okay. Why don’t we open it together?” He offers.

“If you want to.” You nod and lean into his side as he carefully unties the twine holding the package together.

There’s a small box inside the paper, making him tilt his head in confusion. Also a square folded up piece of paper underneath it. “Interesting.”

"Note or box first?" You have no idea what your Gram might have been sending to Zach, but considering it was in her jewelry box your best guess is that maybe she felt it right to send him something of your grandfather's. A tie pin, perhaps, or cuff links?

“You choose.” Zach decides, pushing the towards you. “She was your grandmother. And I would do this same thing if she had mailed it to me.”

"Letter first," you decide after a few seconds of staring at both options. "Context seems important."

“Okay.” He pulls the paper up and slowly unfolds it. Your grandmother had amazingly artistic handwriting, the cursive looking like something he would have imagined being written with a quill.

My Darling Zach,

“Darling?” He raises a brow in surprise. And clears his throat to read it aloud. “My darling Zach, I feel like I can call you this since one day soon you will be a member of my family. I know this from the way my granddaughter talks about you. Like you’ve hung the moon and stars in the sky.” Zach pauses and smiles at you softly.

"I may have gushed," you admit shamelessly.

“Really?” He winks at you and looks back down at the letter.

“That being said, I have a favor to ask of you, if you would be so kind. In this box, I have several rings that my granddaughter loved to look at when she was a little girl. Always begging me to let her wear them when she played dress up. Consider one of them for her as an engagement ring? It would make an old woman very happy to see the jewelry on her hand that she has so admired as a little girl. Especially when they were also my favorite pieces my own beloved soulmate gifted me with. They are yours to keep, Zach. My gift to you. Give them to her as Christmas or birthday gifts later on if you decide not to use them to propose. I don’t want to hear any argument, young man.”

Zach swallows and looks up at you. “And she signed it, ‘Love, Gram’.” He whispers.

There are tears in both of your eyes, a few drops on your cheeks. It's such a sweet, loving gesture and so exactly like your grandmother to be thinking ahead like this. "Well," you laugh weepily, wiping his cheeks and then your own. "You heard the lady. They're yours now."

“I can’t keep these.” Zach protests, although he’s reaching for the box to open it up. There’s enough room for four ring sets in the little box, but there are only three in use. “Holy…”

"Oh, my..." Trailing off to a sigh, you tear up all over again seeing the jewels shimmering in their little box. They look shiny enough that she must have gone and had them cleaned before boxing them up to send to Zach. "How did she remember...?"

“What do you mean?” There’s a story or stories here behind these rings and he wants to know them. To learn about them, learn more about you.

"I really did used to beg to dress up with these." They are three very different rings, but all equally beautiful in their own right. A yellow gold band is flattened for one, with tiny diamond chips arranged like a sunrise. One is white gold with an array of blue and white sapphires like an Art Deco explosion. And the third is a beautiful opal set in yellow gold with small diamonds all around for embellishment. The opal has a matching band, though you don't remember ever seeing that before. "She actually let me wear the little golden sunrise with my prom dress when I was a senior. The sapphire one...she said that was an birthday gift from my grandpa when she turned forty. And the opal was an anniversary gift."

“She—” Zach is at a complete loss for words, unable to believe that your grandmother would be so generous to a man she has never met. “I don’t know what to say.” He admits quietly, moisture gathering in his eyes. She had accepted him without hesitation, just based on what you had told her.

"She...knew." You tell him quietly, deciding that it's important Zach understand just how thoroughly your grandmother had accepted him. "About what happened to you and your unit. And afterward." When Zach's eyes widen in disbelief, you nod. "She thought it showed your strength of character to come out on the other end of all of it as a good man. I fully agree."

He’s not mad that you shared that with her. Not when she was your confidant growing up. More of a parent than a grandparent when it came to emotional support. “Do you-“ he clears his throat when his voice cracks. “Do you like the idea?” He asks seriously, nodding to the rings.

"Me? I love the idea." Something that ties your past, present, and future together sounds perfect to you and you absolutely won't deny that. "But I don't want to hear a word about paying for them. She gave them to you. They're yours now."

“But—” It goes against everything in him to stop talking, to not protest it, but you literally put your hand over his mouth. Looking into his eyes and silently asking him to please just accept this. Until he gives in, slumping slightly as he relaxes and nods.

"I love you." you remind him gently, moving your hand so that you can kiss him instead. "And she is reaching out to you with her arms wide open, too."

“I love you too.” That will never be a question in his mind. He loves you completely. “Okay. So…” he takes a deep breath. “First impression?” He asks and points to the opal set.

"I want you to pick." That is also important to you, you realize immediately. Although he has zeroed in on the most practical choice. The beautiful opal ring already has a matching band.

“What do you think?” He asks, hoping it would have been your choice. “I like that it has a matching band, but I could also see another ring on the other side.”

"I like that it's pretty but not the most flashy thing in the world," you admit, looking down at the three choices with him. "The sapphires are gorgeous but I think that's more like a cocktail ring. It's big and blingy and I know we would both be more comfortable not being that flashy every single day."

“I wonder if she knew that we would gravitate towards this one?” He muses as he picks up the rings out of the box and examines them more closely.

"Maybe." She was astute, after all. And was always thinking ahead. "I...also like that it's your birthstone." It's just a silly little extra, but it's sweet. Zach's October birthday might never result in gems for gifts for him, but apparently it might for you.

“It is, isn’t it?” He’s surprised to realize that, it’s not something that he’s really thought about in a long time. Normally his birthday has been a lonely day, or recently, working his ass off.

"Yes, it is." He brightens a little and you know instantly that it's the right choice to make. "Does that mean we've picked out my engagement ring?"

“I think so.” Zach hums before he frowns at you. “Although we are missing one key element to all of this.”

"And what would that be?"

He reaches for your hand. “Shouldn’t we find out if it fits?” He asks softly, smiling at you as he shifts out of his seat to kneel down on the tile floor of your grandmother’s kitchen.

Somehow, you didn't expect him to make the thing so official. So formal. So...traditional. The gesture has your breath sticking in your throat and your chest aching, realizing with one unsteady beat of your heart how so many of your happiest memories have happened in this house. It feels only right that this moment should join them.

“I don’t know why, but I feel like she would want this to happen here.” Zach tells you with a grin before he says your full name. “I have been overwhelmed by you from the moment I saw you. I fell in love with you before I ever knew that you were my soulmate. And after finding that out?” He chuckles. “It has only made me wonder how I got so lucky.”

"I'm the lucky one." You're sure of that. Beyond a shadow of a doubt. But the way you both cling to each other's hand makes it clear that you could go back and forth on that question all night. Maybe that makes you even luckier.

He squeezes your hand and licks his lips. “Then I have a simple question for you.” He teases. “Will you marry me? I’ll spend the rest of my life loving you and showing you that love every day.”

"I would marry you right this second." It isn't a surprise. It doesn't need to be. All it needs to be is a beautiful promise, and that is exactly what he is offering you. "I have half a mind to hop in the rental car and make for the Soulmate Chapel in Windrixville."

“If you wanted to, I would.” Zach promises you, moving to slip the larger opal ring on your finger.

The ring fits perfectly, making it feel like the choice was meant to be, and you tug Zach up on his feet to share in a breathless kiss. "Why not?" You can't believe you're saying it, but just like every other important decision you've ever made with or about Zach — it feels undeniably right. "We already signed the prenup. I just won't change my name until after all the inheritance paperwork is finished being approved by the judge."

“Where’s your grandmother’s wedding dress?” Zach asks boldly, grinning at the idea of being impulsive and a little crazy. It’s not like other people don’t get married the day they find out they are soulmates. It’s why chapels like that exist.

"It's in the guest room closet." In amongst the other dresses and baubles and memories was the box with your grandmother's preserved wedding dress that had been diligently cared for over the decades. The fact that Zach is even contemplating agreeing to such a whirlwind, romantic idea is just a testament to the bond you share. "I bet..." Holding onto him, a watery smile spreads across your face like wildfire. "I bet some of grandpa's suits are up there, too. I know she kept a few."

“Do you think I would fit it?” It seems far fetched, but fitting. You both wearing the clothes of your grandparents as you jump into your future. One that she had a hand in pushing forward. She had encouraged you to take the cruise contract in the first place.

"I don't know." You have no sense of proportion for a man you never met, but you like the odds of trying. "Do you want to go find out?"

He looks at the ring that fits perfectly before looking up into your eyes. “Why don’t we?” He asks softly.

"Come on." Instantly, your hand is fully in his and you're sniffling back the happy tears with a grin. "There's only one way to know."

------ Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @littlemousedroid @harriedandharassed @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog @haylzcyon   @beardsanddetectives @kirsteng42 @ladykatakuri @adancedivasmom @madiebear @tanzthompson @emilianamason @bigsdinger @xocalliexo @pedr0swh0r3 @avaleineandafryingpan @charlyrmv @avidreader73 @iceclaw101 @loveslide @elegantduckturtle @becsworld @julesonrecord @its-nebuleuse @itsrubberbisquit @mikeyswifie @guelyury @lizzie-cakes @for-a-longlongtime @vabeachazn @purplerain04 @weho2kcmo @madnessofadaydreamer

ItSotN: @greenwitchfromthewoods @copperhalfcent @ariavitiellos @spishsstuff @76bookworm76

[stansthemans]

What do you think would happen in fem!Stan aus if their parents find out her and Ford are having sex?

whoa boy. I mean. it would be Bad. I'm in the camp of Filbrick was an abusive dad, far more so to Stan than to Ford. With Stan, I lean towards it was physical as well as emotional and verbal. Ford didn't exactly have it easy with the weight of all filbrick's expectations placed on his shoulders, feeling like he had to be extra perfect bc of his birth defect and his intelligence, and this sense of responsibility for Stan, like anything Stan did was a reflection on him. I'm also not very forgiving to Caryn. I see a lot of people saying things like "she loved her boy" and I'm just not so sure. Especially with fem Stan, I think Caryn was critical about her looks and would she ever find a husband, and she let those criticisms be known. Stan never had to wonder if her parents didn't like her. They were clear on that front. Last born, totally unexpected, another mouth to feed, and worst of all: a girl.

I typically also think that the entire family hides the severity of what happens to Stan from Ford. it's the one cause they're all united on. I think filbrick and Caryn keep it secret as a means to control ford, because they think (know for a complete fact) that if ford knew, he would flip his lid and they would lose that potential meal ticket. they know that ford is choosing Stan over everything. Stan keeps it a secret because she's terrified that if ford knew, not only wold it break his heart, but he might try to fight for her, and she's so scared that filbrick would start hitting him too.

as for getting caught. yikes. I think they would place all the blame on Stan and the beating would very nearly kill her. it would just be terrible. typically with my version of the fem!stan au, I keep a lot of things very close to canon. She's even still named Stanley rather than constance bc I think doing that shows how little filbrick regarded her when she was born. their life plan was two boys and that's it (I headcanon older shermie). not only does Stan show up unwanted, but she also has the gall to be a girl. I usually still go with fem Stan being thrown out after the science fair incident, rather than other things I've seen like her running away. but for this, for them getting caught, it's the late 60s-ish. I think they might bring her to an asylum. maybe if it was something slightly less, like if she got knocked up but they didn't know it was bc of ford, maybe they would try to marry her off or ship her away to distant relatives. but this is so huge, I really think they'd have her committed. and ford, oh man, if ford knows that's what's happening, he'd go ballistic. ford is far, far more protective (and consequently, far more hurt and angry when betrayed) of fem Stan. that's not just his twin, not just the person he's in love with, it's his little sister, and despite the romantic/sexual feelings, that's been drilled into him his entire life. big brothers are supposed to take care of their little sisters, and ford is the big brother that really matters when it comes to Stan. they've always been so close. two halves of a whole, it doesn't work if they aren't together

yeah, I think he'd just lose his mind. literally clawing thru the dry wall. I think if they got caught, there wouldn't be a chance for the science fair shit to go down. ford would blow up at his parents, blow up at Shermie, and he would leave fire and brimstone in his wake trying to rescue Stan and get them as far away as possible to restart their lives. in some ways it's a happier ending for them, but man is it rough

[zirconpetals]

Sorry for reblogging an old post like this, especially if your opinions on the matter have changed, but this is really helping me put things together in my head.

(I was gonna put it in the tags but realized I kinda went off. Also sorry if you get this notification twice, Tumblr's been glitching out on me & I accidentally first sent it before I finished writing)

The fact that there's a precedent at all is still bad, but if you read fics or the way people discuss it, you'd think he's dropping this kind of language every two sentences. But as I was thinking about that scene, I was like. But it doesn't usually happen, does it? It only happened like twice.

(Tbh completely forgot about the Gamesters one, but the other two scenes are so iconic, which is probably what is colouring people's perception here, & why the hobgoblin thing is so widespread. Or maybe it's because of AOS, but then — why did they put it in AOS. In 2009??)

If anything, McCoy compares him to a computer the most, & this is also something Kirk uses to bait Spock with in "This side of paradise". So it might be worse than it seems.

Additionally, McCoy only brings up the colour of Spock's blood in the show in situations when they're specifically talking about blood. (Which happens a lot because he's a doctor). It's often in a "I wish it was the same as everyone else's & my job was easier" kinda manner, which is still. Bad. Especially if you're a doctor & Spock had probably been around sentiments like that all his life since it also has "human elements" in it. What I mean to say is he's not going around randomly calling him "green-blooded loser" or anything like that.

And sometimes it's hard to know what the writers are trying to convey and if they understand how it comes off. Kirk and McCoy can compare Spock to the Devil and it's all in good fun between friends, but when an antagonist of the episode does that it's bad and racist? Was Spock's reaction even meant to be about the ear comment or was it just because McCoy got all up in his face?

There's also the thing that there's a precedent where Spock actually somewhat reacts "positively" when the differences between him & other humans, ("And as for my anatomy being different from yours, I am delighted."— "Naked Time", & what's more, after the first time McCoy makes a comment about his blood iirc) but that doesn't mean he couldn't have gotten fed up with it or that it wasn't a defensive technique to begin with.

& I know Spock is the only Vulcan on the Enterprise and when you're isolated & not sure if you would get support it's harder to come forward with the problem, especially if you're trying to project an image of a Vulcan unswayed by his emotions & when everyone (& especially McCoy) is just waiting for you to show an emotion.

But Spock also doesn't have a problem with commenting on how savage & backwards human culture is, you'd expect him to be hitting McCoy (& everyone else) with how boorish it is to obsess over physical differences between species outside of immediate medical contexts. Of course, speaking about humanity in general might be one thing, but speaking about personal problems leaves you vulnerable, but on the other hand, he is able to bring up when he's been insulted in other contexts.

Ngl I also think it's kind of in a bad taste to make it the moment that makes McCoy realize that Spock's not being himself. The idea that Spock would only be unhappy with someone for a derogatory comment if he's not in his right mind and then McCoy is validated for it? It seems like Spock has a problem that's to be taken seriously, but then it's in the episode where Spock eats meat and sleeps with a girl he barely knows, so how seriously can it be taken? I don't know how I feel on this.

I'm sorry I don't have any kind of conclusion here. I've just been unsure how to interpret this scene & been kind of turning it around in my head.

When I was writing the previous post, I had a random thought, so I want to offer a different perspective I just thought of lol

MCCOY: You listen to me, you pointed-eared Vulcan. SPOCK: I don't like that. I don't think I ever did, and now I'm sure.

imho people are too quick to jump to the interpretation that Spock has always hated McCoy because of this line. That Spock was just silently suffering and never said that McCoy's words bothered him.

Which is literally so ??? to me because Spock will express his dissatisfaction.

SPOCK: Frankly, I was rather dismayed by your use of the term half-breed, Captain. You must admit, it is an unsophisticated expression. (What Are Little Girls Made Of?) SPOCK: Captain, I hardly believe that insults are within your prerogative as my commanding officer. (The City on the Edge of Forever) SPOCK: Don't be insulting, Doctor. (The Trouble with Tribbles)

are just a few of them. Spock typically says "don't be insulting" when Kirk or McCoy suggest he has feelings (or when Kirk compares him to a human), but as you can see from What Are Little Girls Made Of? he literally brought a thing that bothered him with Kirk up. Why would you think he just silently suffered McCoy's words? Why would he say he was bothered to his commanding officer and not his subordinate? That's not Spock.

Plus, when people use the line from All Our Yesterdays to "prove that Spock hates McCoy", why is

MCCOY: I wonder where Jim is. SPOCK: Who knows. We can only hope that he is well, wherever he is.

that precedes the "pointed-eared" comment ignored? Why is it ignored that Spock literally doesn't care about what happened to Kirk? That he just hopes that he is well. Why do you think McCoy got angry at Spock in this scene? Because Spock didn't show any kind of worry about Kirk. He just accepted that they couldn't go back. He gave up.

Now, when I got that out of my chest, this is the third time in 79 episodes (minus those McCoy didn't appear in), that McCoy used "pointed-eared" with Spock. The third time. One, in Bread and Circuses during an emotionally charged conversation, two, in The Gamesters of Triskelion, where Spock was like do you wanna mutiny (when Kirk, Chekov, and Uhura disappeared).

Why would Spock's reaction be at McCoy, especially? He doesn't say "I don't like you saying it, Doctor", he says he doesn't like the words. People - Kirk, Uhura, McCoy, random people - kept talking about his ears throughout the series, sometimes as a joke, sometimes as an insult, comparing him to Devil even (Uhura and Kirk both btw) or Midsummer Night's Dream's Puck. When Kirk tried to make him angry in This Side of Paradise, he uses "you're an overgrown jackrabbit, an elf" - both typical for pointed ears.

Humans always pointed out his ears. Always.

And now, when he's not in control, he's realizing that maybe he never liked humans talking about his ears. Not just McCoy. Everyone ever.

And it makes more sense to me that Spock's statement is in general rather than aimed at McCoy only.

yeah, anyway.

[sepiamestus]

Anyone else feeling soso violent tonight

[icewindandboringhorror]

boy in silly sitting positions compilation

[jinkieswouldyoulookatthis]

Okay, this, as always, a lot, so I'm going to try my best to reply to the core conversation because if I try to reply to all of this my ADHD is gonna tie me up in knots. I'm also putting this under a cut to help with the overall post length.

If you think that Dean's terrible decision to wipe Lisa and Ben's memories of him, was misogynistic then we are coming at this from really different definitions. Because Dean has a habit of making sweeping, life-altering decisions for other people without taking them or their wishes into account, he overrides or just doesn't consider them <- and this notably includes his brother. This is not based on Lisa being female, Dean just prioritizes his own emotions over other people's everything. If I read this correctly, you said that you were sympathetic to Dean's decision to force Sam to let Gadreel possess him, even though you knew it wasn't going to work out well. But Dean removing himself entirely from Lisa and Ben's lives, wiping all of their memories of him, something that he, right or wrong, felt was the only way to save them from himself and the epic levels of disaster that follow him, was a bridge too far and, somehow, misogynistic? However you're making this distinction does not make sense to me.

Misogyny literally means hatred of women, from the Greek root words misein “to hate” and gyne “woman”. And yeah, I know that root words don't entirely determine current definitions or common usage, but, there is that particular layer to the definition of misogyny that sets it apart from the definition of sexism.

Yes, we are all swimming in an ocean of patriarchy and it really isn't a matter of "all men" for anything, because humans are nuanced and complicated. We also learn and grow, but also, too often, get damaged and hurt along the way. Or decide to "play along" rather than stand up against the shitty things other people say, for a whole host of possible reasons. Anyone is capable of doing something, or thinking something, or saying something that is misogynistic. Just occasionally falling into that doesn't equal "being a misogynist" either. For that label to stick, one would have to have a persistent track record of saying and doing (and thus thinking) misogynistic things, proving that they actually do harbor a hatred or negative view of women in general. There are different levels to all of this nuance that are easier to discuss and to avoid miscommunication, to discuss more effectively, when we utilize words with nuanced differences to their meanings.

Some of what you talked about would definitely fall into the misogyny bucket, yes. But some of it wouldn't, some of it is better defined as sexism, while some of it I'm not even sure has anything to do with gender really at all.

I feel like I need to convey my sympathy for the personal experiences that you shared, I don't want to gloss over or ignore it. While I have never been in exactly that sort of situation, I have had friends say some out of fucking line shit to me. Sometimes we were in a situation where I was able to call them out on it, and so I did. Other times, I let stuff slide because I did not feel safe standing up for myself, or standing up against something awful being lobbed at me. So I do get that. It sucks. What your partner said was, truly, horrifying, at least from where I'm standing, and I can only imagine the effect that would have had and likely still has, to some degree, on you.

I am not saying that all the things that happened in the show and on the set for the show were never inappropriate or never wrong/bad, because people are complex and there are a lot of layers to most everything. And, as I mentioned in my original post, sexism was definitely at play. I still think that the majority of what people call misogyny is actually better defined by the word sexism, and that the overuse of misogyny muddies up the meanings of these words and makes it so that when I say, "That's not misogyny, it's sexism," what people seem to hear is, somehow, that I'm brushing off everything as not problematic.

So, to be clear, something doesn't need to be labeled misogyny to be problematic. Sexism is still very problematic.

And, yes, definitions of words change over time. Hopefully this happens as our understanding of situations evolve. But, what I am seeing in the prevalence of the preferred, nearly exclusive, use of "misogyny," with nary a use of the word "sexism" to be seen, is that we are actually losing important nuance. You and everyone else, are free to use whatever word you think best fits, of course. But I'm probably going to be sitting over here thinking that this whole conversation would be clearer and much more effective if we kept both words in play.

Cool, since the OP made the post non-reblogable, I'm just going to put this here...

Again, not saying it's not sexist. I actually literally said it was (as can be seen in this handy dandy highlighted screenshot of my post they were responding to. It's just not misogynistic. OP seems to have completely missed that distinction. Oh no, wait, they didn't miss it they commented on it in their tags...

Yeah, the terms have been being muddied up for a long while, but if no one ever pushes back on that, then we will lose the distinction and any hope of having an educated or nuanced conversation might as well be flung out the window. Ffs. Yes, word usage changes, and evolves, but not all changes or evolutions are good things.

Sam and Dean have sexist baggage. Dean more than Sam. And that is because Kripke and the writers and producers and directors and just a lot of people in general, have sexist baggage. So call it sexist. I mean, why the insistence on specifically using the word with the worse layers of meaning, when those worse layers don't actually seem to apply???

Obviously, this isn't just this one person, so many people do this. And I'm not picking on this one person, which is why I'm not tagging them and really don't care if they see this or not. I'm griping simply from my own frustration at how willfully reductive people in general are.

[mars-ipan]

still insane to me how ppl pretend fatphobia is about health only to continue to be fatphobic when someone gains weight or even just looks somewhat fatter as a result of improving health

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible

[autumnoakes]

can i say it now?

sage of time/time powers didn't make sense for totk zelda. at ALL.

when in botw, before the calamity, in aoc, did she EVER show an affinity for time powers? i get that it was like this sort of. hidden power kind of thing, but it still doesn't make much sense. not for zelda.

[smartzelda]

Sorry guys I gotta speak my truth on this one

I'm not kidding when I say that I think that blaming shit media literacy from fans on shipping/shippers avoids the actual root of the problem to throw people you can easily throw under the bus (simply because it's not unpopular to consider people who post about ships or ship characters in media as having lesser or derivative tastes by default)

And here's why.

I think when you blame people who are "shippers" or "consume media through shipping lenses", the true root of it all is a mindset problem.

In actually, putting on shipping lenses can be helpful when trying to analyze a piece of media. When analyzing media you're supposed to approach it through a number of mindsets and put on different lenses (both to deepen your personal understanding of the media, and to pick it apart and see what you can find there (whether intentional or not on the author's part)), and different ships can be some of those lenses

When it comes to ships between main characters (for those who are genuinely willing to see what the narrative is showing with their relationship and what it's doing), there are times when analyzing it from a shipping lens may be helpful. As someone from KH fandom, I have seen people come to deeper understandings and pick canon apart in the process of analyzing a relationship that is genuinely integral to the story (platonic or not). I've also seen people get into rarepairs of characters who barely interact or who just suffer little screen time, and I've seen them come to better understandings of those side characters and how they potentially fit into the world of the media simply because people are now focusing on these characters and how they fit into the narrative.

Frankly, I resent the idea that the only way to truly objectively analyze a piece of media is by turning off the part of your brain that gets excited over relationships and individual characters. Don't get me wrong, that is a way to approach a piece of media and a valid one at that, but the truth is that we cannot be free of bias.

For instance, I was watching House MD with my parents circa last year. At some point I started heavily tuning into what was going on with House and Wilson's relationship. My parents, on the other hand, were largely watching casually. They're not thinking of character relationships or getting heavily invested in most characters, they're watching because they like watching. One of them in particular did try to analyze things that were happening in the show as they happened. However, when it came to the scene late in the series where House threw out Dominika's letter approving her American citizenship, my parents could understand that he was doing that because he didn't want her to leave, but not much beyond that. I ended up explaining to them that House's fake marriage for Dominika was an explicit parallel to when Wilson was living with House in the early seasons. Both situations started with House being none too happy about it but ultimately letting them stay, spending a considerable amount of effort getting them to leave/getting this situation to be finally over so he didn't have to deal with it anymore, and then by the time a piece of news comes through that would mean the person in question actually leaves, House hides this news as long as he can. Because he doesn't actually want them to leave and has grown attached. And by doing this he became a self fulfilling prophecy. By reacting to the truth of Wilson and Dominika leaving him the way he does, he seals his fate and they ultimately leave anyways. Maybe I ship Hilson, but becoming open to how their relationship was handled allowed me to transition to doing character studies and recognizing patterns/parallels that I wouldn't have noticed if I didn't particularly care about the characters or their relationship.

Likewise, I've seen mutuals complain about how people who don't like or don't care about certain characters often overlook these characters (what they're actually like and their place in the narrative), while the mutuals in question (by default) are able to come to deeper understanding of what the writers/story is trying to do because they care about this funky guy

You can't eradicate bias when you're engaging in media analysis, but you can consciously put on a range of lenses and observe the media through different povs with the goal of understanding the media better or bolstering your reading of it. And those lenses/povs can include focusing on specific relationships or the perpective of certain characters

And this is why I say it's actually a mindset problem. Shippers and people who have this one blorbo they like a lot aren't inherently terrible "fandom brained individuals" who are the root of media analysis problems. The problem only arises when people's readings/analysis of a piece of media are inherently restrictive/narrow and self centered. Your problem is with people who view a piece of media through a ship they like but don't keep an open mind about it, and whose "media analysis"/views on canon cannot be split from fanon and their comfortability levels. These are the people whose "media analysis" starts and ends with justifying their fanon as canon, whose views on media revolve around sorting characters and relationships into categories they personally enjoy rather than trying to understand what's going on.

Here's another example.

Here we have a fictional ship we'll call uhhhh...Blanebin. this fictional ship I made up on the spot for characters that don't exist named Blane and Corbin

Person A is super into Blanebin. They're part of the main cast of characters and canonically childhood best friends, so person A (as much as they enjoy fanart and fic) is also enjoying analyzing how narratively important to each other they are. Recently, Corbin started dating another character in canon, but Person A is enjoying watching how Blane is reacting to this. "Is this potentially a tell that Blane is jealous or is having complicated feelings about this? What if he was, how would that contextualize his behavior this season? Here's what I think based on how Blane dealt with explicit jealousy last season in a different situation". It's not impossible that person A is still missing further understanding due to their obsession with Blanebin, but at the end of the day this obsession has allowed them to start picking through the characters both in and outside this relationship. It has allowed them to see potential subtext and theorize on what might happen next with these characters' relationship. Not to mention that with addition of Corbin dating someone else, instead of trying to erase this fact or state that Corbin canonically isn't into that person, Person A is trying to factor in how Corbin's current dating life affects his relationship with Blane (irregardless on personal views on the nature of Corbin's relationship with the person he's dating).

Person B is also super into Blanebin. They really enjoy fanart and fic of the characters, love obsessing over their moments together, and just feel like there's really something between the characters. To person B, every moment between them is just further proof that the writers are ship teasing them. But Corbin getting together with someone else this season? Oh that pissed person B off. They cannot believe that even though Corbin and Blane are CLEARLY gay for each other the writers had Corbin get with someone else this season. Perhaps, they think, it was even a decision specifically made to spite fans. How evil of the writers to tease a perfectly good ship and then have them not get together first? They must have been just doing those teases to get views from Blanebin shippers those scoundrels. To Person B, since Corbin started dating someone when he obviously has some chemistry with Blane (even though the series is far from over) means that Blanebin can never get together now and Corbin x person he's dating is ruining Blanebin by existing. In fact, they think, this is terrible writing for Corbin to be dating someone else because they don't like that relationship and don't see the point. Obviously if the writers were good then Corbin would have started dating Blane instead because this was supposed to be the Blanebin show.

Person C despises Blanebin. Don't get them wrong, they've always enjoyed the character's childhood friendship, but they actually have always thought Blane would have been better off with Victoria. They have a lot of moments too! But they're tired of seeing people ship Blanebin. Corbin just got together with someone else, so obviously that's not gonna work out. Plus Corbin and Blane totally has always given person C bro vibes. In fact, person C thinks, sure Corbin and Blane have a close friendship, but people shouldn't be shipping them. Person C likes Blanetoria and Blanetoria can't be canon if Corbin is in the way of it. So Person C likes to read Blanebin as siblings anyways. Sure they're canonically friends, but obviously their friendship turned into brotherhood. This means that nothing can be in the way of Blanetoria and Corbin can keep dating the person he's already canonically dating. Actually, now Blanebin just straight up makes Person C uncomfortable. Don't the pesky shippers understand that Blanebin are sibling coded because they're childhood best friends and that they're important to each other because they're brothers? It's obvious to anyone with eyes.

Sure, ships are involved here, but is the root of this problem shipping? Character A isn't as knowledgeable of other characters in the plot due to this lens they're using, but at the end of the day they're dedicated to analysis. Their love of the characters is pushing them beyond what they like or dislike to try to understand what might be happening through their lens. Not perfect, but they are slowly broadening their horizons. But Person B and C's problems here are their restrictiveness. What is or should be canon to them is tantamount to what they personally like or find comfortable. Is person C actually analyzing the this fake show when they decide to "read" Blanebin as basically canonically siblings (and this all of their moments are totally a bro thing) just because they don't like Blanebin and the idea of them getting together over Blanetoria makes them uncomfortable? Is person B actually analyzing this fake show when their "analysis" of Blanebin goes only as far as asserting it's being ship teased and deciding anything short of canonizing Blanebin is a targeted attack or "bad writing" because it's not what they wanted personally to happen?

This is what I'm talking about. This is the mindset. Shipping isn't the problem. The problem is when people marry fanon and canon to the point where they have a vested interest in superimposing their fanon over canon as "a reading" and trying to make "collective decisions" on what is canon (or what canon is trying to say) based on what does or doesn't make them uncomfortable. The problem is people being restrictive and centering their own likes and dislikes in the conversation, so they can only interact with canon "analysis" wise by deciding what is canon or should be canon "as obviously agreed on by everyone". You can't simply claim you like media analysis. To be able to analyze media and bolster your views on any given canon, you must be open to looking at it through multiple povs, to studying characters without trying to pretend things you don't like don't exist or do like do exist. There is a balance that must be kept between trying to keep objectivity and putting on specific focus/bias based upon the lenses you're putting on. You have to be willing to try to figure out what a media is doing or saying, not saying you're trying to figure out what it's saying while in actuality trying to define the narrative around what people believe it's saying in ways that suit you.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[bmpmp3]

Getting into stuff that has a lot of pre-announced release dates is really good for me like vocal synthesizer products and new love live etc franchise music releases....I'll be lying in bed at like 2 AM with ur usual 20-something's fear and existentialism over time and the future and then I'll remember a piece of singing software or a new song related to cartoon characters I like is gonna come out like next month and I'm like 😌

[shame-kink]

one of the most important aspects to be learnt of being a political thinker online, a passive or active viewer of sociopolitical discourses and marginalization, is that just because you find someone to be “wrong” on a subject, have a bad take on a words definition or have shitty political/strategic takes, or just be fucking annoying to you personally, doesn’t make them stop being from the same marginalized group or group-of-groups as yourself. tragically sometimes a comrade-in-arms also just fucking sucks without it being a cishetero bourgeois psyop or a more-particularly-advantaged-yet-still-marginalized-group punching down. like there can be “self-hating” people from demographics actively trying to oppress said demographics but 9 times out of 10 Kaleb from My Discourses isn’t a Dennis Prager rubbing elbows with literal nazis he’s just that dipshit who thinks Judaism as a social category necessitates matrilineal affiliation (even though the people that actively hate Judaism as a social category don’t conceive of it as such). For example I mean.

this should really go without saying but good fucking god my own time in the ‘strangers with a word or two in common trying to kill each other online’ trenches neeeeded