#but again this a failure of the writing not a problem with Kennedy as a character as such

[coraniaid]

I know it's never going to happen, but it sure would be nice if people in the Buffy fandom could shut about how much they hate Kennedy. We get it, you're boring and predictable and have poor taste. But why not just ... keep it to yourself? Why assume everybody scrolling the tags wants to read your bad takes?

You don't even have anything original to say.

"Oh, but the writers rushed Willow into a new relationship too soon; Willow would never--"

I'm sorry, but are we talking about Willow Rosenberg, the girl who tried to encourage Buffy back into "date mode" because "love is nice" not only weeks after Buffy's ex-boyfriend had lost his soul, but while he was still actively terrorizing her and trying to kill her friends? The girl who tried to set Buffy up with a new boyfriend, because "you're ready now", just days after Buffy got back from months spent hiding out alone in a strange city while grieving over having to send that same ex-boyfriend to hell to save the world? Who -- after said ex came back from hell and then broke up with her -- then pushed her to try to date the first person who seemed interested in her in college, no matter how reluctant Buffy told her she was and how little either of them knew about him? That's the Willow we're talking about? That's the girl you think wouldn't rush into a new relationship?

Willow has always invested a huge amount of her self-worth in being worthy of love and being able to be loved by others, and she's always assumed that everyone else does the same. That's who she is. We're talking about the girl who ran off to cry when she realized the friend she'd been crushing on for years was dating somebody she didn't like because "it means you'd rather be with somebody you hate than be with me". The girl who only finally got over said crush when she started dating somebody new. Who was so upset when he left her too, years later, that she attracted the attention of a vengeance demon who told her she had "pain that pierces dimensional walls"; and who only really got over that when she met Tara. Who later describes her relationship with Tara as "the only thing" she had going for her. All the way back in Season 1, the first episode that ever focused on Willow was about her attracting the romantic attention of a demon obsessed with wanting its followers to love and worship it. Wanting to be loved is, arguably, the most consistent character trait Willow has ever had.

And look: Willow tortured and killed the man who murdered Tara; she came close to ending the world rather than living in it without her; when she comes back to Sunnydale months later, still mourning, she makes a point of visiting Tara's grave. She's twenty-one years old. It's not moving too fast for her to want to be part of a relationship again; it's the only way somebody like Willow can really stop being unhappy and find some measure of peace and emotional stability. Do you really want Willow to end the show miserable and single and mourning? Do you think that shows more respect towards Tara?

"Oh, but Kennedy is so different from Tara, surely Willow would never--"

We don't know what Willow's type is! Before Season 7, Tara is the only woman we ever see Willow show the slightest bit of interest in! And, again, Willow is twenty one years old. She met Tara when they were both teenagers. Are you still exclusively interested in the type of person you were attracted to when you were a teenager?

Tara is different enough from Oz, who was different enough from Xander, that I think it's safe to guess that Willow's romantic taste is broader than you might think. And the one thing that Kennedy does have in common with Tara (and with Oz before her) is that she is very, very obviously into Willow as soon as they meet. That's what we know about Willow's type: she falls for people who are, on sight, transfixed by Willow.

"Oh, but Kennedy treats Buffy so disrepectfully, she--"

Wow. A teenage girl not showing proper reverence to an older, more experienced person who -- without consulting her about it -- positions themselves as some sort of unelected authority figure? Oh, yes, I can see why fans of Buffy the Vampire Slayer would hate somebody like that. That's nothing like anybody we've seen on the show before.

Why should Kennedy like Buffy? Why should she respect her? She doesn't know her! Anything she's heard about Buffy Summers before Season 7 she'd have heard from the Watchers, who have no reason to be honest or favorable about her. When she gets to Sunnydale she gets to live in Buffy's crowded, cramped house, and train in her garden all day, and listen to speeches by somebody who tells her she's probably going to die soon and will probably deserve it. Somebody who doesn't make any effort to get to know her or bond with her as a person. Somebody who mocks girls like her for being driven to suicide (girls who are, in Buffy's words, "weak" and "idiots"), who sleeps with vampires and is friends with demons and comes up with plans that get the other Potentials -- Kennedy's friends, girls Kennedy herself feels responsible for (just like Buffy would if their positions were reversed!) -- seriously hurt or even killed. What does Buffy ever do to earn Kennedy's respect?

Don't get me wrong, most of Buffy's friends treat her pretty terribly this season [this is not a comment about Buffy's friends as much as it is about the quality of the writing this season]. But while Dawn or Willow or Xander helping to kick Buffy out of her own house is appalling and ungrateful and out of character, when Kennedy does it it makes sense. Buffy hasn't ever treated Kennedy as a friend, so why would she magically become one?

"Oh, but Kennedy is so rich and entitled and bossy, she--"

You're a hypothetical Buffy fan on Tumblr. I know if I look I will find posts talking about how much you like Season 1 Cordelia Chase. I'm just saying that maybe this isn't a route you want to go down.

"Oh, but Kennedy's just in the season too much, I wanted more focus on the original--"

This season does try to juggle too many characters, and it would be better if it spent more time examining Buffy's relationship with Willow and Xander and Giles. But the way you achieve that is by downplaying Andrew Wells (a lot), cutting out a lot of the more forgettable Potentials, entirely getting rid of Caleb [the actual worst Buffy character, for the record] and throwing out the awful time-wasting subplots around Spike's hypnotic trigger and the non-mystery of Giles obviously not being the First. It's not by reducing the amount of screen time Kennedy or Robin Wood get, because they are the new characters this season should actually be about.

"Oh, but-"

No, enough. I'm sick of it.

[mandalhoerian]

Shai! Shai! I've thought of another scenario for Leon😊 Altho being a new fan I've come to the conclusion that Leon is the type to believe he's not good enough for his partner, he believes they could do better then him. So imagine a Leon who has finally accepted he has feelings for you and works up the courage to confess only for you to turn the tables on him and say you dont feel good enough for him. I imagine he would be in disbelief? How would he react to his crush telling him "You're too good for me Leon."?

too good for me | leon kennedy x reader

pairing: leon kennedy x reader (unspecified gender) genre: fluff, miscommunication, the "endeared badass x normal person scared shitless of the endeared badass" trope. no spice, unfortunately. only good vibes and leon being head over heels smitten. enjoy! word count: 2.7K? It's short! notes: hi sarah! i am SO SORRY this has taken forever. you requested this one month ago! its been so hectic lately, i've been having health problems that required regular hospital visits and tests upon tests, but now that my surgery (yeah i know... yikes) is authorized i'm only waiting for them to call me for the date and have all the time in the world to get my rest and write. i'm also working on your other (wink wink) request! thank you so much for being patient with me. hope this is what you had in mind! i also added my touch and ideas to it lmao. happy reading!!

🌀 read on ao3!

“You’re too good for me,” is the hesitant, small answer you give him while avoiding eye contact and playing with your fingers in front of your office’s shared coffee maker Leon had made countless paperwork excuses to be able to simply stop by — to his question, that is, about why you wouldn’t go on a simple date with him. 

You puff out an awkward laugh to smooth things over as humorous but it’s forced and not at all sincere. 

It’s taken Leon a whole inner journey (Spain. Mostly the simultaneous trauma and catharsis of Spain) to get over himself to recognize what his heart truly wanted but was too pussy to look at before, yet here you two are. The lone angel in his life telling the failure Leon is that he’s too good? For you?

He simply stares, dumbly standing there, piping hot coffee that’s actually incompatible with his taste buds he insists he must do a detour to get from here simply because you often do, stiff and awkward in his hold, thinking he heard you wrong because he hasn’t gotten a good night’s rest — rest, not sleep — in forever since he came back from Spain. 

He’s been forcing himself to come to work just for a glimpse of you and your pretty face to recharge his battery, heal his soul a bit, let you be all that occupies his mind despite being laid off after that outrageous mission that resulted in the president’s unwanted favor and nightmares upon nightmares with only anxious yet soothing thoughts of you as the best bad out of the worst he’s had to face— and what is it that you said again?  

“You’re joking right?” Leon says, pride not knowing if it should be broken or not because he’s not sure to take this as a rejection, and it isn’t his intention for it to sound that harsh. He’s not some asshole who can’t take no for an answer, it’s your reasoning that has him downright jamming like a gun.

Leon has to remind himself to switch off work mode because now you look mousey as if he has a paw on your tail, shoulders pulled into yourself.  “Sorry!” He feels so bad, heart expanding within his ribcage and it aches, fuck, he just wanted to ask you out and all he’s doing is scaring you. “I’m sorry, you were kidding. I didn’t get it— I’m kinda slow and you sound flat sometimes, of course you weren’t serious, I’m—”

“No, I was serious.” His eyebrows furrow at yet another self-degradation from you. “It’s you who has to be kidding. What do you mean too good for you?”

You are at a loss of words, mouth opening but nothing coming out, and finally look him in the eye and all Leon wants to do is lean down and capture your mouth, he’s heavily distracted by you licking your lips and swallowing, the sighting of the tip of your pink tongue makes his shirt suddenly suffocating and tight. 

“I mean,” you begin tentatively, unaware of what’s going on in his head, vaguely gesturing to Leon. “Well… You’re you, I mean… And I’m. Me. Look at you and look at me. Why would you even…?”

“Hey,” Leon sets his mug on the counter, closing his eyes and pinching the insides with his thumb and pointer. The implications alone sent a zapping headache through his skull that he knows he has to rest to be able to unpack, especially when he’s finally decided on seriously pursuing you in spite of himself. Leon can’t let this remain unaddressed, for your sake and his sanity. “How about I wait for you after work today and we talk about this somewhere else?” He’s squinting. “In detail.”

“We don’t really need to—”

“We do.” Leon wants you to see he’s serious about this — about you. “Because I see something here that I want to pursue and we can’t have any misunderstandings. Would appreciate it if you at least give me the chance to clear the air.”

“P-pursue?” You swallow and Leon’s mind wanders again. “Clear the air you say…”

He breathes in. “Can you give me your phone?”

You slap it into his palm almost immediately, the speed with which you obey him without asking him any questions surprises him. He wants to scold if you’re willing to hand over your mobile to any guy who asks, but supposes it’s not his place — is frustrated this is what it takes to get him annoyed, as well. He isn’t some young adult. Weirdly, you make him feel like one.  

He’s punching his own number in, despite the conflicting feelings, finally feeling like this is getting somewhere and he’s doing it when you start talking again, nervous. “You can uh, clear the air… right here… without taking me to a secondary location…” 

His eyes flick up to yours in confusion and you look to the right immediately, and back to him. To the right. Back to him. It’s somehow comedic, because why do you look like you’re cornered by some bad guy? 

You really look like you want to be anywhere else than here, Leon’s fucking this up and he doesn’t even know what he’s doing wrong. Was he going too fast? Should he have told you his number and let you save it instead? 

You’re mumbling, nervousness clear as day for reasons he can’t fathom, he hears you, but he doesn’t really understand. 

“What? What's wrong?" Leon asks, his voice laced with genuine concern. He takes a step closer, wanting to bridge the gap between you and alleviate whatever discomfort you were experiencing. "You seem... uneasy. Did I do something wrong?"

Your eyes meet his briefly, then quickly shift away again, as if you are struggling to find the right words. 

Leon's heart sinks. His intention wasn’t to make you feel nervous or pressured, especially when he is genuinely trying to connect with you — then, in a brilliant moment of heart-stopping realization, the fact that you might just not be interested slaps him in the face and he’s…

Well. Wouldn’t that be the reality? 

Leon is… He isn’t exactly the ideal man. Not with what he does, and how his life is. He’s aware of that. Have been running from forming connections because of what he knows will end up happening because of that. He can’t get attached and keep losing people — can’t keep getting hurt in the vicious cycle to prevent everyone from getting hurt. It’s been the bane of his existence ever since STRATCOM plucked him off straight from Raccoon City. Even if you work in the same field as him, just different offices, who is to say it will work out anyway? 

He’s getting ahead of himself. You might not like him at all in the first place. Jesus. 

Maybe you see him for what he is. Maybe you think he’s not  —- the effort’s not worth it, and you wouldn’t exactly be wrong in thinking so. You could be wanting something else in life that he only has the desire to give you, and not the promise. He wouldn’t blame you, hell, who would blame someone for being their own person with their thoughts, wishes, wants and goals in life? 

You’re too good for me, really, is his line. It has been right from the beginning, his excuse in running away from his undeniable, frightening attraction to you.

"No, it's not you," you finally managed to articulate, prompting Leon to release the breath he was holding, your voice shaky, playing with your fingers. "I just... I feel a bit overwhelmed. This is all happening so fast, and I never expected..."

Leon nods, his expression softening as he realizes the weight of the situation. He hasn’t fully considered how his sudden confession and determination to pursue you might have caught you off guard. He has been so focused on his own feelings that he hasn’t taken into account your own thoughts and emotions.

"I understand," he replies, voice gentle and reassuring. "I didn't mean to overwhelm you. I just... I couldn't keep my feelings to myself anymore. But please know that I don't expect an immediate answer or any commitment from you. I just… Well. I just wanted to tell you. See where this goes. Or, maybe, if that’s not the case… Get rejected for good so I can move on, you know?"

You laugh a little and it’s genuine — you have no idea how it turns Leon’s heart into putty right where it hangs between two lungs. “Do you really mean all of that?”

“Of course,” he says, offended the tiniest bit. “Why do you think I would joke about something like this?”

“It’s not about you joking, really…” You’re uncomfortable again, hesitating to tell him something. 

“Hey, you can tell me.”

“Can you promise you won’t get mad?”

“What am I, your father?” He snorts. “Come on, tell me.” 

You brace yourself for it and he doesn’t understand why until you say it. “You, um… You’re kinda scary.”

He blinks. “Sorry?”

“Sorry!” You raise your hands up in panic. “I don’t really mean it like that, not to insult you or anything, it’s actually admirable, I’m just saying! Discipline, work ethic, unmatched field performance! You’re very… Very, uh… Intimidating, yeah, that’s the word…? I mean, like… You, uh, you’re famous, you know, we all know your work, you’re very hard working, working hard, very hard work — uh, um… So it’s…”

“I scare you?” Leon swears he felt his eyes get bigger the faster you kept on vomiting words. “You think I would hurt you?” 

“No!” You reject strongly, waving a nervous hand at him. Silence befalls later, which you follow awkwardly with a silent, guilty. “Maybe,” after clearing your throat. 

 He had always strived to be a protector, but he hadn't realized that his image and reputation — what it had become after Spain — could have such an effect on someone he cares about. 

"I never meant to scare you," he says softly, his voice filled with genuine remorse, he puts the coffee mug on the counter and leans his hip on it, shoulders sagging a bit as he crosses his arms. The thought of you only feeling intimidation about him leaves a bitter taste worse than the coffee does. "I guess... I've always been so focused on work, on the dangers just around the corner — I’m aware how it might affect my relationships in the long run so I never attempted to form any at all, but I never realized how it might affect how people see me in the first place. I never wanted to make you, of all people, feel this way. I could never hurt you. Never."

“I didn’t want to imply you’re a guy who’d intentionally hurt someone—”

“Don’t worry about it,” he sighs, ruffling his hair to get rid of the awkwardness. “So I’ve just been bugging you this whole time, huh? Jesus. I’m so sorry.”

“No! No, don’t say that, you’re amazing! You’re like a hero around here…”

“Around here doesn’t mean shit,” he replies curtly, and regrets cursing like that in front of you immediately. It’s unbecoming of him — and doesn’t help his image in your eyes at all. He’s getting frustrated. His tone lowers into a softer, more disappointed, heartfelt one. “I only care about how you think of me.” 

“Well, you’re amazing,” you say again, bashfully this time, and it prompts him to look at you. There’s something shy about you now that has him standing taller in anticipation, wondering if it’s him reading this wrong or not. “It’s pretty well-known if you didn’t know.”

“I don’t know,” he prods, idiot heart fluttering at the way you’re flustered. “What do you think? Besides intimidating, I mean. Not reporting on the local gossip this time, if you don’t mind.”

“You seem like a nice guy,” you settle. The middle ground. “I’ve seen you with the president’s daughter.”

Leon's expression softens at your words, a mixture of relief and gratitude washing over him. He takes a deep breath, trying to let go of the tension that had built up within him. The mention brings a slight smile to his face, memories of Ashley flooding his mind, a fondness evident in his eyes. "Ah, Ashley. Yeah, that was quite the adventure. Though what can you be other than a nice guy when your mission is the president’s daughter?"

“I know a couple people who’d treat her like a package to be delivered. You prioritized her wellbeing more than anything.”

“What else was I supposed to prioritize?”

“You know what I mean. Emotional wellbeing. I’ve read your initial report and her statement. You cared about her.” A smile tugs at your lips, he can tell you’re a bit more comfortable now. "Especially during what you’ve been through. It's impressive how you handle yourself in those situations."

He shrugs modestly, a hint of pride shining in his eyes. You respect him. "I guess you could say it comes with the job. But it's not all action and danger, you know. There's more to me than just being a government agent."

Your curiosity piques, and you tilt your head, prompting him to continue. "Tell me more. What's Leon Kennedy like outside of work and missions?"

It catches him off guard that you want to know more and take the first step. You could have just rejected him. His heart picks up, chest expanding in excitement, he’s glad for the opportunity to share a glimpse of his life beyond the chaos of his work — he’s normally not eager to share pieces of his life like this, but… He’d give it to you on a silver platter, whether it'd lure you in or not. That’s how Leon knows he wants this with you so bad. “I wanna lie to woo you but… Would it be too unattractive to tell I really don’t have a life outside of work? I’m still trying to find some balance in my life. The upper echelon guys are pretty ruthless and demanding. I guess it means I can say I’m into traveling?”

“Is this the cool guy way of saying you’re an introvert these days?”

The unexpectedness of it is what gets him to throw his head back to laugh, and he catches you staring, scrambling to rub his face to get rid of it and regain some composure. “Yeah,” he breathes. “Pretty much.”

“Well,” you gesture at him, there’s a vague pink hue dusting your cheeks. “What are you into, then?”

God, he can’t stop, “Other than you?” from escaping his dumb mouth. He shouldn’t have said it. It’s too corny. So uncalled for. Your mouth hangs open and he wishes he could rewind the tape to take it back and choose some other option. “Say… What about we continue this discussion after work? I know a good coffee place. Let me make it up to you for invading your lunch time. I’ll tell you all about me, what do you say?”

You look at the clock on the wall, he knows you didn’t get to have anything because he decided to turn up and serenade you with unwanted attention, it’s two birds with one stone for him if you decide to accept — he wouldn’t have asked if he didn’t see a perfect moment to seize the chance. 

“Coffee sounds perfect,” you nod, with no pressure from him, and it lifts a great weight off his shoulders. “Would it be okay if I eat something too?”

Why are you so adorable? You don’t know that you own the power to get Leon to have your superiors let you go for the day, but he can’t get too excited right now. “Say the word and it becomes a dinner date.”

It gets you flustered again, you don’t know where to put your hands, and he’s so happy about it. “It’s a weekday… That’d be a bit exhausting…”

“Okay. Coffee date it is.”

He’s noticing you like the cheeky confidence, and it makes sense, considering the intensity had you intimidated. “Thank you,” you say. “I’d like that.”

“Believe me,” Leon can’t stop the grin from overtaking his expression. “My pleasure. You’re honestly too good for me.”

There’s the sudden urge to kiss you when vulnerability and shyness lights up your whole face, but he’ll take it slow. He has to take it slow. For himself. 

[alicerosejensen]

I love your page so much omg. I‘m literally obsessed with your work😭🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Also I have this imagination in my mind going on about how Leon would try to help his girlfriend from recovering from her mental health issues since she’s always helping him. I was recently thinking about how he would react finding her not moving on the bathroom floor and trying to bring her back! I rewatched American horror stories and the scene with tate and violet in the first season episode 6 (ig?) is always in my head. I‘m still recovering from my past and my unhealthy habits and tbh recovery never felt better.

If this is too much for you or triggering please ignore this.🫶🏼❤️

I had a terrible period in my life when I was a few steps away from doing something like this in my life and unfortunately this shit often comes out. I'm not sure that such texts help me work through my psychological traumas, which were, in fact, inflicted on me and continue to be inflicted by close people who do not consider me a person, but at least such works help me to vent my pain, which I cannot permanently bury in myself.

I have been postponing this request for a long time because I was probably waiting for the right moment to write this text.

There are mentions of suicide, psychological trauma, severe self-doubt and anxiety, so if this is not acceptable to you, then please just block it.

Perhaps there is a similarity with my previous texts, but I am writing this with strong emotions now that I am trying to cope with it again.

the text is chaotic, I repeat, written while I was under the influence of strong heavy emotions. Maybe I'll delete it later, when my brain gets back to normal a little bit.

If a songbird doesn't sing well, they wring its neck.

Maybe it was the costs of Leon's profession and the result of his constant missions, after which something human is gradually dying in him despite the constant struggle to save everyone. Raccoon City was supposed to teach, if not to survive, then make him begin to understand that some are doomed to die.

Leon Kennedy was taught not to offend, but to protect the weak, especially weak women. But it is difficult to calm the flow of disordered thoughts and put aside the fear that has seized him in order to clamp bloody wrists and apply something to them to stop the blood. Leon knew many strong women: Ada was perhaps the first among them, he did not know either her past or her real name, only the present that pushed their foreheads against each other; Claire, a fighting friend of misfortune that he met in that ill-fated city; Ashley, who turned from a baby eagle into a proud eagle; Angela Miller and others…

Your strength dissolves in the water, coloring it scarlet while your heart stubbornly still beats, let the rhythm noticeably shorten.

In truth, over the past few months it became clear that this was the only way out. When even your loved ones considered you an expired product and did not hesitate to remember this and remind you every time. In the end, their words turned into an obsessive worm that settled in your head, slowly day after day, month after month, devouring you and the circumstances seemed to be not in your favor. Instead of support, you somehow faced reproach, as if the universe was screaming that you were an wrong person, nature's mistake who had no right to live.

Escape attempts were doomed to failure. At first you tried to suppress it in yourself, helping Leon, because, in your opinion, he was the only one who had the right to complain about life, although he did not do this in front of you, because everyone said that you had no problems: you have everything limbs, there are no fatal diseases, all loved ones are healthy and there is a roof over your head, as if this is enough to not fall for nonsense and not walk around forever with a sad face.

This was the last time you shared your experiences. You didn’t even bother telling Leon, but everything inside was torn from constant pain. The feeling was as if you were being beaten by two extremes that led you to the edge of an abyss where you ultimately voluntarily jumped.

no, you really loved him, it was just other people’s words and your own speculation that convinced you, despite your strong relationship with him, that Leon would find someone better, someone more confident in himself, someone who would not be you because you had already missed the chance for a good life because it moved too slowly. Ultimately, a couple of sips of alcohol with sleeping pills and a sharp blade in his hands simply promised to correct the mistake in the form of you with your own hands.

You didn't have the courage to do it any other way.

But you really didn’t think that if you could try to open up to your loved one, you would meet support and not condemnation. Perhaps in a mad world he would be the only one who would heal your wounds as you healed him in your time. Leon clenched his teeth, feeling tears flowing down cheeks, seeing these crimson stains, when he pulled your body out of the bath, holding you close to him, repeating “I’m holding you. It's allright"

He so carefully laid you on his lap, managing to pull out a first aid kit and then bandages to tightly, albeit carelessly, wrap them around your wrist in order to somehow stop the bleeding. At least you were still breathing, thereby giving him hope that everything could still be fixed. the darkness and emptiness came to life, calling in a whisper to dissolve into eternal silence where there is no pain or condemnation. Your body will be in a grave under a gray stone, while the remains of your soul will float like a small grain of sand in infinity.

For Leon, everything happens in a fog; he tried more than once to save people, but he had no right to lose in this battle, even if you yourself surrendered to death. Shaking his head, brushing away the tears, he wrapped your body in a large terry towel, kissed your temple and picked you up, trying to somehow warm you, pressing you closer to him. the ability to provide first aid in the field and pull suicides out of the other world is not the same thing. Leon would have thanked God if he had believed in him, convinced that blood loss was the least of the evils that you had caused yourself, until he saw the remains of some substance at the bottom of the glass that stood on the table along with an almost full bottle of alcohol.

You really didn't give him a chance.

The ambulance took several minutes, which seemed like an eternity. In fact, Leon wasn't sure if it was worth trying to make you vomit when you'd already lost so much blood that it was already seeping through the bandages. Surely you would need a transfusion and Leon is ready to give you all his blood if only you would wake up. Holding his breath, he carefully looked at your chest, watching whether you were breathing and fortunately, your heart was still beating, slowly, but it was still fighting for life.

He stroked you on the head, kissed you, promised that he would take you somewhere else, quiet, where no one would dare to offend you, even if it was your family. You could have just asked him for help, just cuddled up to him and he would have protected you from other people’s attacks, but you preferred to remain silent. Kennedy was tired of waiting for the medical staff to let him in, although relatives should be allowed to see the patient first, but the position of a government agent sometimes had its advantages, and they concerned not only the high salary. When he was let in to you, it seemed to him that you had become half your size while you were lying on the bed, curled up under the blanket. It didn’t work out to pull off a beautiful suicide, which meant that soon angry relatives would come here with new sweat of bile especially for you. They won’t care about your feelings, but Leon sat down next to you, trying not to intrude too much into the space in which you imprisoned yourself, as if this blanket cocoon could be a separate world where you could hide. He spoke to you carefully, hating himself for not being able to understand in time what was wrong with your behavior; perhaps if he had been more attentive to you, the incident could have been avoided. You would see a psychotherapist, take a course of medication, and your environment would definitely be taken care of.

You cry, not letting him come to you, hating how you weren't just left to die and how much you hate this world. Hysteria after hysteria, nervous breakdown after nervous breakdown, in the hospital you repeatedly tried to commit suicide, but the attentive staff managed to prevent this before you inflicted fatal injuries on yourself, and if after some time Leon still managed to carefully break through your armor, then your loved ones This did not concern relatives in principle. You only allowed one person to visit you while you were undergoing psychological treatment and you behaved calmer and calmer, listening to the velvety words that soon all this would be behind you.

“We’ll go home soon,” Leon smiled, gently holding your hand and kissing your forehead, just glad that you’re alive, that you’re breathing and that your psycho-emotional state is slowly but improving. “You know, I have a surprise for you, I think you’ll like it when we get home.”

Soon what happened will become another nightmare in his life, a blessing with a good ending, but for the sake of this happy ending, Kennedy is ready to descend into hell at least every day.

You nod at him and smile a little, fearing that the gift is some kind of party on the occasion of your discharge. In fact, the last thing you want is to see someone’s faces, especially those who diligently hammered into your head how insignificant you are. Why do you even hope that the doctor will postpone your discharge, but the plans for your further treatment were completely different.

On the other hand, after taking antidepressants and psychological help in a special medical institution, how many men are ready to stay with their girlfriends who have been there for several months? For Leon, it seems this was not a significant problem, or he simply carefully did not show it. However, there were no parties, no calls, you simply returned now to his home where there were new interior items. it became somehow more comfortable... but something else surprised you.

Puppy. A small puppy of a couple of months old ran towards you and Leon to meet both of them, but stopped and began sniffing your shoes, while something thawed in your heart.

“Animals seem to help us well, They feel when we feel bad, it seems to me a good idea to get us a little companion,” Leon said quietly, stroking your back while you were busy with the puppy, rejoicing at the little living soul who will love you with the same pure and devoted love.

Ultimately it should have a happy ending too. Leon is ready to go to great lengths so that his beloved songbird starts smiling and singing happy songs again, even if it is necessary to remove other birds from her family who sleep and see how to pluck all her wings again.

You and he also have a chance for a happy ending.

[smokeybrandreviews]

Wound in the Force

The Acolyte got canceled and people are big mad about it. Kathleen Kennedy's PR team is in full swing trying to spin this to the best of their ability and pass the buck. Leslye Headland is out here, blaming fans, swearing it was a "vocal minority" who screamed loud enough for this "terrible" outcome, but the ratings straight up showed that NO ONE watched the show. The star, Amandla Sternberg, swears that Disney wasn't brave enough to stand by the show because it was crazy gay, not that her character Osha, was the absolute worst and resoundingly rejected by everyone with a set of eyes. The Acolyte failed because it was bad. Like, i only watched the first two episodes and knew sh*t was going to crash out based on that, alone. When they came for ol' girl over that absurd Space Kung Fu showdown, Osha had been on the same freighter for years. Years. Can't you check cameras? If she bounced on a personal rocket or whatever, you can't track that itinerary? Some drunk guy who saw the fight is your only evidence? Can't you force prod her memories to figure that sh*t out? Dumb. That's why the show failed. It was dumb. Every time one of these Kathleen Kennedy joints fail, I find myself writing this same goddamn rant. Make better sh*t!

The idea of The Acolyte, especially as Headland and Sternberg tell it in their outrage exit interviews, is an interesting one. A show about the duplicitous nature of "good" and "evil". Perspective. That would have been cool to explore, especially after seeing how clunky Lucas did it in Revenge, but the execution was not there and, for sure, the writing was trash. I mean, they killed off Trinity in the first episode and X-23 by the fourth? Why? There were six episodes left. That obviously gay coded relationship had no room to breath! No one cared when ALL of those characters, except the laughably abusive Master Jedi from Squid Game, were murdered by Chuckles the Sith Clown. All of that? Those first four or five episodes? That should have been season one in it's entirety. Chasing the not-Osha twin should have been the entire first season. Building up those characters and relationships should have been the plot. We should have grown to like and trust the Master Jedi guy, only to see, through the sparse interactions with the Lesbian Space Witches, his cruel streak. In fact, all of the sh*t about the Lesbian Space Witches should have been peppered through the initial season, culminating in that penultimate reveal from the Twin's perspective. This is plotting 101 and Headland failed. Sh*t makes me want to re-watch Russian Doll because i remember that being pretty good. There can't be such disparity in quality between these two shows when they're made by the same person, right?

Smooth Brains and Chauvinist bigots are proclaiming this failure as another example of "Go Woke, Go Broke", and i hate the fact they're kind of right. I don't believe in that because some of the Wokest sh*t around is incredibly popular. White people love Get Out and it's a straight up indictment on their whole “Value the Black body, not the Black life" deal they have going on. It's a direct confrontation, deconstruction, and subversion of the "Shut up and dribble" mentality you so often see among non-melanated, fake Christians. They got bamboozled by that solid writing and inspired execution. The presentation was so slick, those people didn't even know they were being called out. Letterkenny is one of the Wokest f*cking television shows I've ever seen, and not one complaint about it. Because it's f*cking inspired. Again, writing and execution. The Acolyte had none of that. They had a chip on their shoulder and was going to make it your, the viewers, problem. It wasn't a clever yet firm, accusation like Get Out or a intelligent denial like Letterkenny, it was a disrespectful accusation on your assumed disdain. And you can see that with how the “creators” have reacted from the cancellation.

The Acolyte was a bad show with strong ideas. I said as much after i ranted about how dumb those first few episodes were. I said as much above. The problem is the fact that Leslye and Kathy hate Star Wars. I don't know about Amandla but, since growing up, she's taken very specific roles. She wants to present a very specific image of herself which, cool. I'm not even going to sit here and say using Star Wars for that is a problem. It can be done. You want LBGTQ+ rep? Go for it. Chelli Aphra is a big ol' gay and she's one of my favorite characters. Full-on Disney Star Wars addition. Ahsoka Tano is at least bisexual, based on her initial book appearance and all the sexual tension in season seven of Clone Wars. Also Barris. She may not be now because Disney really is full of cowards, but I remember that smoldering, flirtatious energy, between my favorite Torgruta and Mirialan flavored Offee. No one is saying not to be gay in Star Wars or that message isn't important. I mean, there are some people, but they all have neck beards and Ken doll crotches so don't worry about them. The people who aren't brain dead don't mind. What we DO mind is how that sh*t is presented. Write better scripts. Create better character moments. Execute better production. If your show is good, people will watch, regardless of what you want to say. It's a matter of how you say it. The Whites LOVE Get Out and it's just two hours of Jordan Peele calling them culture vultures. If a movie and consistently insult it's audience, and still make a brinks truck full of money, what the f*ck is Lucasfilm doing? Also, what the f*ck is that helmet, bro?

[smokeybrand]

Wound in the Force

The Acolyte got canceled and people are big mad about it. Kathleen Kennedy's PR team is in full swing trying to spin this to the best of their ability and pass the buck. Leslye Headland is out here, blaming fans, swearing it was a "vocal minority" who screamed loud enough for this "terrible" outcome, but the ratings straight up showed that NO ONE watched the show. The star, Amandla Sternberg, swears that Disney wasn't brave enough to stand by the show because it was crazy gay, not that her character Osha, was the absolute worst and resoundingly rejected by everyone with a set of eyes. The Acolyte failed because it was bad. Like, i only watched the first two episodes and knew sh*t was going to crash out based on that, alone. When they came for ol' girl over that absurd Space Kung Fu showdown, Osha had been on the same freighter for years. Years. Can't you check cameras? If she bounced on a personal rocket or whatever, you can't track that itinerary? Some drunk guy who saw the fight is your only evidence? Can't you force prod her memories to figure that sh*t out? Dumb. That's why the show failed. It was dumb. Every time one of these Kathleen Kennedy joints fail, I find myself writing this same goddamn rant. Make better sh*t!

The idea of The Acolyte, especially as Headland and Sternberg tell it in their outrage exit interviews, is an interesting one. A show about the duplicitous nature of "good" and "evil". Perspective. That would have been cool to explore, especially after seeing how clunky Lucas did it in Revenge, but the execution was not there and, for sure, the writing was trash. I mean, they killed off Trinity in the first episode and X-23 by the fourth? Why? There were six episodes left. That obviously gay coded relationship had no room to breath! No one cared when ALL of those characters, except the laughably abusive Master Jedi from Squid Game, were murdered by Chuckles the Sith Clown. All of that? Those first four or five episodes? That should have been season one in it's entirety. Chasing the not-Osha twin should have been the entire first season. Building up those characters and relationships should have been the plot. We should have grown to like and trust the Master Jedi guy, only to see, through the sparse interactions with the Lesbian Space Witches, his cruel streak. In fact, all of the sh*t about the Lesbian Space Witches should have been peppered through the initial season, culminating in that penultimate reveal from the Twin's perspective. This is plotting 101 and Headland failed. Sh*t makes me want to re-watch Russian Doll because i remember that being pretty good. There can't be such disparity in quality between these two shows when they're made by the same person, right?

Smooth Brains and Chauvinist bigots are proclaiming this failure as another example of "Go Woke, Go Broke", and i hate the fact they're kind of right. I don't believe in that because some of the Wokest sh*t around is incredibly popular. White people love Get Out and it's a straight up indictment on their whole “Value the Black body, not the Black life" deal they have going on. It's a direct confrontation, deconstruction, and subversion of the "Shut up and dribble" mentality you so often see among non-melanated, fake Christians. They got bamboozled by that solid writing and inspired execution. The presentation was so slick, those people didn't even know they were being called out. Letterkenny is one of the Wokest f*cking television shows I've ever seen, and not one complaint about it. Because it's f*cking inspired. Again, writing and execution. The Acolyte had none of that. They had a chip on their shoulder and was going to make it your, the viewers, problem. It wasn't a clever yet firm, accusation like Get Out or a intelligent denial like Letterkenny, it was a disrespectful accusation on your assumed disdain. And you can see that with how the “creators” have reacted from the cancellation.

The Acolyte was a bad show with strong ideas. I said as much after i ranted about how dumb those first few episodes were. I said as much above. The problem is the fact that Leslye and Kathy hate Star Wars. I don't know about Amandla but, since growing up, she's taken very specific roles. She wants to present a very specific image of herself which, cool. I'm not even going to sit here and say using Star Wars for that is a problem. It can be done. You want LBGTQ+ rep? Go for it. Chelli Aphra is a big ol' gay and she's one of my favorite characters. Full-on Disney Star Wars addition. Ahsoka Tano is at least bisexual, based on her initial book appearance and all the sexual tension in season seven of Clone Wars. Also Barris. She may not be now because Disney really is full of cowards, but I remember that smoldering, flirtatious energy, between my favorite Torgruta and Mirialan flavored Offee. No one is saying not to be gay in Star Wars or that message isn't important. I mean, there are some people, but they all have neck beards and Ken doll crotches so don't worry about them. The people who aren't brain dead don't mind. What we DO mind is how that sh*t is presented. Write better scripts. Create better character moments. Execute better production. If your show is good, people will watch, regardless of what you want to say. It's a matter of how you say it. The Whites LOVE Get Out and it's just two hours of Jordan Peele calling them culture vultures. If a movie and consistently insult it's audience, and still make a brinks truck full of money, what the f*ck is Lucasfilm doing? Also, what the f*ck is that helmet, bro?

[bordeleaubeau]

when worlds collide - ryder donovan

chapter one wc: 5167

“and y/n, you’re paired with ryder.” mrs. wilson smiles as she reads off the final pairing of partners, and you can feel the color draining from your face. you turn to your left, looking over a few rows towards where ryder donovan sat. a near stranger right now, but he sure as hell wouldn’t be in a few days. “okay. so i just ask that everyone pairs up with their assigned partner and you sit together, and then i’ll go over the rules, got it?” 

the once silent classroom is then filled with the noises of chairs screeching against the tiled floor. your classmate, juliana who sits next to you, lets out a sigh. “well, good luck with ryder, y/n. you’ve sure hit the jackpot. make sure no girls steal your partner, okay?”

you give her a look as she grabs her book bag, standing up from her desk that was right besides yours. “yeah well, chances are i’m gonna be doing all the work. so yeah, lucky me right?” you roll your eyes. juliana gives you one last pitiful look before she’s off to her partner. 

you’re reaching down to pick up the strap of your book bag, but you glance up and see the blonde headed boy heading over in your direction already. you let your bookbag fall to the floor, and in a few short seconds ryder is taking the spot juliana had once sat in. 

“i’m y/-”

ryder cuts you off, a half smirk on his face. “i know who you are, smarty pants. no need to introduce yourself.” he says, placing his book bag down on his desk. “man, what even is this project.”

and it seems mrs. wilson hears him from across the room. “good question, mr. donovan. so as you’ve observed, i’ve placed you in male to female partnerships for this project. and i know you’ll all probably be ready to kill me after this, but i think it’s going to open your eyes to the real world.” you and ryder are already exchanging nervous glances with each other. “the baby project.” immediately, there are groans from all around the room, and your teacher starts to talk over them. “my job is to basically teach you to stay abstinent. and there’s no better way to teach you than this project. you and your partner will be a couple for the next two weeks - you can be ‘separated,’ ‘divorced,’ whatever you want. but you’re taking care of a child together. you have to maintain the ‘happiness’ of the child whenever he or she may start to cry by using a designated key. but failure to stop the crying after multiple attempts will result in an automatic five percentage deduction from your grade. now, choose between yourselves to decide who comes to pick up your baby.”

you and ryder are both blankly staring at each other, mouths dropped open wide. you’re sure nearly every girl in the class is jealous of you and for reasons you can quite clearly tell. ryder was attractive, smart, and a crazy level of popular. but that’s what you get as your school’s hockey team captain, right?

“uh,” ryder mumbles, eyes glancing down at the pencil he’s fumbling in his hand. “i’ll go pick up, the uh-”

“the doll, ryder. it’s not real. no need to get so spooked out,” you cut him off, letting out a huff as you lean back in the chair. ryder wordlessly nods and gets up from his seat and goes up to the front of the room. 

you’re minding your own business, pulling your phone out of your pocket when you feel a tap on your shoulder. you turn to see keira bradley, the captain of the girl’s lacrosse team. “so, y/n,” she smiles sweetly, placing her hand on your shoulder. you don’t have the heart in you to shrug it off, even if you’ve spoken maybe three words to the girl in all of high school. “cute outfit today! that color blue really brings out your skin tone. well, anyway, i was wondering to you maybe wanna switch part-”

“not happening, keira,” you hear ryder’s voice, and for once you’re grateful for it. keira lets out a huff. “nice try, though.” 

when keira turns back around, you look over at ryder. “what, wanna stick with a partner that’ll end up doing the whole project for you? strategic, donovan. real strategic.” you mumble, leaning back in your seat once again. 

“that’s not what-“ ryder sighs. “i just don’t think we should switch. mrs. wilson gave us our partners for a reason. but anyway, i think we have a girl, and then this is our worksheet for her name and stuff.”

you take the paper from ryder’s grasp, glancing over the questions you have to answer throughout your time with the baby. at the top, you write down yours and ryder’s names, stopping when there’s a spot for your baby’s name. “what do you wanna name her?” 

“uhh, what about, uh just saylor?” ryder looks up at you for approval after his suggestion of the pretty name. you shrug, writing down ‘just saylor’ down on your paper. “oh come on, smart ass,” ryder lets out a laugh, grabbing your pencil and paper away and erasing the ‘just’ you had written. you see his eyes lingering on the last name you had written for your fake baby. “hey, i like that last name.” he smirks, referring to the fact that you had written donovan.

“you did say ‘just saylor,’” you mock ryder, a soft smirk on your face as your eyes go back up to your teacher standing in the front of the room, trying your very hardest at ignoring the blush on your cheeks.

“so!” mrs. wilson exclaims, regaining attention from your class. “i don’t expect you guys to be together twenty-four seven. that’s not realistic as high schoolers. but i’d hope you both put in effort. maybe one of you has the baby one day, the other has it another and you alternate. but you have fourteen days.” ryder sighs, his hand raising and waiting for mrs. wilson to nod in his direction. “yes, ryder.”

“mrs. wilson, i have hockey like, every day. and games. home and away. i’d feel bad leaving y/n to do all of that.” you hate all of the eyes that turn to look at you. normally, you loved mrs. wilson and you looked forward to her class. but right now? you were ready to drop dead. as if the looks from the girls weren’t deadly enough already. they’d kill to be in your position. 

mrs. wilson smiles at you sweetly, and you know you’re in for a treat. “well, miss l/n is a sweet girl. i’m sure she wouldn’t mind going to a few of your games, right y/n?”

you force a smile, “right, mrs. wilson.” 

“but, ryder, i do appreciate your dedication to your team,” mrs. wilson adds on before she looks back up at the clock. “we can end here for the day. if you aren’t familiar with your partner, get to know them. if not, feel free to do whatever with your free time.”

ryder puts your project worksheet in his binder and you put your pencil away, leaving you to simply tap your fingers against your desk seeing as there wasn’t a point in taking out your phone. 

“so,” ryder speaks up pulling your attention away from your desk. “i can have her for the night. we had practice this morning so i can take care of her. and then you can just meet me at my locker tomorrow morning and we can switch off, and then you can go to my game tomorrow night and we can switch. how does that sound?” 

if you’re being honest, you’re skeptical. sure, you’ve talked to ryder here and there throughout your four years of school together, but as ryder got more and more popular the less and less the two of you talked. but you didn’t really have a choice - and you never really did talk in the first place. you didn’t even think he really knew who you were let alone your name.

“yeah, that sounds good. it shouldn’t be a problem.”

ryder gives you a smile just as the bell rings signalling the end of your class. “great. i’ll see you tomorrow morning then, y/n.” ryder picks up the baby carrier your fake doll is in and he slings his bookbag over his shoulder. you watch as he walks out, meeting up with a few of his teammates while you’re left to wallow in the thoughts of what’s going to be the worst two weeks of your life. 

-----------

“so you’re telling me you got paired with the ryder donovan. for a baby project. where he’s literally your baby daddy!” kennedy has no sense of an indoor voice as she basically screams in the cafeteria, her eyes wide and her palms pressed flat down on the table. “y/n! this is huge!” 

you roll your eyes at your best friend as you take a sip from your water. “you’re ridiculous, kenna. you sure you don’t wanna trade places with me? it’s just a project. it’ll be over in two weeks and then he’ll forget i ever even existed.” 

“or! or, you two realize you’re meant to be and you fall in love, just like you were always destined to be.” kennedy lets out a sigh of bliss, her chin resting in the palm of her hand as she gazes past your body with a soft smile on her face. 

“classic ken. hopeless romantic, as per usual,” josie says from beside you. you nod at her before looking back at kennedy who’s now pouting. 

“sorry i’m the optimistic one out of all of us. someone has to be,” the blonde mumbles, ducking her head as she continues to eat her food. 

you let out a sigh. of course you didn’t intend to make her feel bad, but sometimes kennedy got into her own head and made up her own fantasies. you would know, seeing as you had dealt with it since you were eight years old. “kenny, i just don’t wanna get my hopes up. with a boy like ryder, i’m lucky if i even end up as his friend after this whole thing is over. time will tell, alright? but until then, i need you girls with me at his hockey games.” 

kennedy’s eyes widen right away and you smile, knowing you’d get that reaction out of her. “like-like, logan anderson’s games too?” she sputters out, the fork in her hand falling onto the lunch table.

josie cracks up, “he plays on the hockey team, doesn’t he ken? and because he’s ryder’s best friend chances are when we wait for ryder after the game, logan will be with him too, and you can finally make your move.”

“yeah, you’re funny.” kennedy mumbles. “as if i’d ever make a move on logan? you’re funny, jose. really funny.” 

“oh come on, kenny! you two would be adorable. and if your far fetched fantasy of ryder and i getting together comes true, imagine all of the double dates we could go on!” you exclaim, your hand reaching across the wooden lunch table to rest on kennedy’s arm. she finally begins to smile. “there’s that smile!”

“okay, we’ll see, okay? just, it’s logan. i don’t wanna make a fool out of myself.” she admits sheepishly.

josie lets out a sigh, “well we’ll make sure you don’t and you’ll get the boy.”

-----------

later that night, you’re sitting at the kitchen table eating dinner with your mom, dad and your brother, william. “so, honey, how was school?” your mom asks, looking up at you from across the table.

you shrug, “well, i have a baby.” you say straight up, causing both of your parents to nearly start choking on their food. your dad goes to open his mouth to give you a piece of his mind, but you beat him to it. “please don’t freak. it’s a fake baby for my child development class. i’m partnered up with ryder donovan.”

your dad blows out a breath at the mention of ryder’s name, as he was the head coach for denfeld’s hockey team - aka east’s rival school. why you went to east, you couldn’t quite say. “now that’s something,” your father admits, mumbling down towards his plate. “so, tell us more. where’s the baby?”

“we’re doing a rotating schedule with it. he has it one day and then we’ll switch off. speaking of which, ryder needs me to go to their game tomorrow night so when i get the baby tomorrow i can give her to him that night,” you speak, looking at your dad for his reaction. you can’t quite read it.

whenever denfeld played east you always told your dad you were rooting for his team, but in reality you were actually rooting for your school. but you wouldn’t tell him that. but tomorrow night, now you would really have to root for east seeing as you wouldn’t want a grumpy ryder - and logan - after the game.

“well that’s gonna be something,” your little brother, william, spoke up from beside you. “y/n, it’s your turn for dishes tonight, by the way.”

after you finish eating and putting away all the dishes, you go up to your bedroom to see you have a few snapchats from none other than ryder donovan himself. you sit down on your bed and situate yourself before pressing on his name.

‘saylor misses her mommy’ was across one of the photos, where ryder had a forced pout on his face as he held your fake child. another one had ‘she won’t stop crying’ with his hand in the middle of running through his hair. finally there was one of him smiling, ‘just kidding, she finally stopped:)’ across it. 

you snap back a picture of yourself smiling with a thumbs up, ‘you’re a natural dono. if our baby is still in one piece by tomorrow morning i’ll be surprised’.

ryder sends back a photo of his mouth dropped open, ‘not cool, y/n/n. but anyway, what’s your number? it’s easier talking about this over text, not snap.’

you send ryder your phone number, and only a short few seconds later you get a text from an unknown number.

(218)-xxx-xxxx hey it’s ryder 

y/n:  i couldn’t have figured that out on my own or anything

rydes dono:  oh shut up. i just wanted to check up on my baby mama 

y/n:  i am not your baby mama, donovan.

rydes dono: well, you kinda are. anyway, meet me at my locker at 7? you know where it is right?

y/n: how could i miss it, you’ve got your own fan club of girls at your locker every morning.

rydes dono: oh lighten up, they all annoy me anyway. clara is bugging me to shoot around with her, so i’ll talk to you later?

y/n: yeah for sure.

to say the least, you fall asleep with a smile on your face and you pretty much wake up to it still spread across your face. you roll over, turning your alarm off before scrolling through your phone where you see you have a text message from ryder. 

rydes dono: good morning y/n/n, remember, meet me at my locker 

y/n: morning dono. really think i forget? or do you wanna get rid of saylor that bad

rydes dono:  just thought you’d forget.

you roll your eyes with a smile even though ryder can’t see you, and you leave it at that. you throw on a pair of black leggings and a baggy umd quarter zip sherpa along with a pair of low top converse. you grab your bookbag from the corner of your room and start to head downstairs, grabbing your car keys from the island counter in the kitchen.

“william! let’s go!” you yell, and only a mere few seconds later you hear the fifteen year old running down the stairs in the middle of fixing his tie that he had to wear on game day. 

“sorry, sorry,” william mumbles, looking up at your figure where you’re impatiently waiting for him. “okay, let’s go. what are you waiting for?”

you give your little brother a look before he’s following you out of the house and down to your car. you take the short ten minute drive to school, taking a five minute delay to get caribou for yourself and william, not bothering to get any for kennedy and josie as they had almost always gotten caribou for themselves as well.

“excited for tonight?” you ask, glancing over at william at a red light. “it’s your first game playing against dad. how you feelin’, bud?”

william looks up from his phone, his eyes widening slightly. “i’m a little nervous, not gonna lie. there’s a big difference in my game from last season to this season, and i don’t think dad has realized that just yet.”

you nod your head listening to him talk. william had been the hot shot freshman coming up that the entire coaching staff was excited for. william had just been cut short from the varsity team in 8th grade, but worked his butt off the entire summer. after his coach mike randolph at east saw his performance at summer tourneys, the excitement for the incoming freshman was surreal. as much as you hated to say it, they hadn’t been this excited for a freshman since ryder donovan.

“you just gotta kick his ass. and stay humble, too please. i don’t wanna be the girl with the idiotic brother, okay?” you say and william lets out a laugh but he stills nods. you know he would never do anything stupid, but still, it wouldn’t hurt to say anything. 

you pull into your parking spot, and almost immediately william jumps out to meet up with some of his teammates, which of course happen to be upperclassmen since william was the only freshman on the team - or rather, the only freshman that actually got ice time.

“bye y/n! have a good day!” william smiles, waving over his shoulder at you with a smile on his face.

“bye will, have a good day too. i’ll see you tonight at the game, buddy.” you watch as will walks away with his teammates leaving you to walk into the school alone. that was normal for game days, as soon as will saw some of his teammates he was gone. but you were okay with it, seeing as he had made such a close bond with his teammates regardless of how much younger he was.

once you get inside you head towards the senior locker bank, checking your phone to see that it was 6:59, and there wasn’t a single bone in your body that would doubt the fact ryder would give you shit for being even a minute late. you can see his locker even from all the way down the hallway. there’s probably about four girls there this morning, one being keira bradley from your childhood development class.

you have a tight lipped smile on your face as you approach the small group, where ryder, logan and ricky are standing with the girls. as soon as ryder sees you, a smile forms on his face. keira notices the smile and turns over her shoulder, her flirty smile turning into a grim one as she sees you.

“don’t worry, i’m just here for our baby,” you say rather awkwardly, trying to make your way to ryder. “morning, dono.”

“morning, y/n/n. here’s saylor,” ryder says, but then he unzips his bookbag and pulls out a sweatshirt. “and for the game tonight. gotta let everyone know who my baby mama is.” the smirk that’s on his face it lets you know he knows exactly what he’s doing. 

“oh my god, ryder,” you mumble, taking the sweatshirt from his hands with blushing cheeks. “i’ll see you in child dev.”

“see you, y/n/n,” he’s biting his lip slightly after he says it, only adding on to the blush of your cheeks as you walk away, trying to ignore the conversation between him and his friends. 

you walk towards your locker, holding saylor’s carrier in one hand and ryder’s hockey sweatshirt and your coffee in your other hand, that you’re sure has his name and number on the back judging by his comment. when you get to your locker kennedy and josie are already standing there waiting for you, and of course they both have caribou in their hands as well. 

“what is that!” kennedy screeches for way too loud at 7 in the morning, pointing right at ryder’s sweatshirt in your hand. “and why are you blushing!”

you lift your hand to cover your face with the hand that’s holding ryder’s sweatshirt and go towards your locker, only lowering your hand when you have to set the coffee on the top of your locker and placing the baby carrier on the ground. you put in your combo and right before you open it, you show josie and kennedy the back of the sweatshirt, donovan and the number 22 pressed on it.

“no fucking way, y/n,” josie says, reaching out to touch the sweatshirt like it wasn’t real. “do you know what this means, y/n?”

you give josie a weird look, and before you can respond kennedy beats you to it. “y/n/n. logan has told me before ryder doesn’t give anyone his sweatshirts. let alone his team one. or his jersey. are you sure he doesn’t have a crush on you?”

“there is no way he likes me,” you scoff, folding the sweatshirt and placing it in your locker for when you grab it at the end of the day. you grab your binders for your first few classes and put them in your bookbag before shutting it and turning to your best friends that are giving you looks. “what?”

“i think ryder likes you!” kennedy sings, and you’re quick to shush her to shut her up. her mouth closes immediately.

“we don’t need that spreading around, kens. that’s probably the last thing ryder would want, especially when pretty much everyone knows my dad coaches denfeld and i constantly get shit for it.” the three of you then begin to walk towards your respective homerooms.

“speaking of denfeld,” josie smiles, “how’s our secret favorite l/n? is he excited for tonight? nervous?”

you sigh, but there’s a happy smile on your face. “he’s a little bit of both for sure. he’s gonna feel bad no matter what tonight, and there’s gonna be someone that loses. it’s the first time will’s played against our dad’s team, so i guess we’ll just see what happens tonight.”

“something tells me ryder is gonna make sure he has a killer night, y/n/n.” kennedy says. “there’s no way he doesn’t. those two set each other up like, every game. mostly all of ryder’s points are because of william and most of william’s points are because of ryder.”

you shrug as the three of you finally reach your homeroom, “well, we’ll see tonight, yeah? see you at lunch, girls.”

-----------

when you walk into your child development class, the first thing you notice is that ryder is sitting in the desk next to you just like he was before class ended the day prior. it’s like he has a second sense when you walk into the room, and right away he looks up and gives you a smile. you try to bite back your smile as you sit in your seat, setting down your baby carrier down on the tiled floor. 

“how’s she been today? she didn’t give me a lot of trouble last night, only a little bit here and there,” ryder asks, leaning back in his chair and looking over at you.

“she’s been an angel. i think she may be broken,” you joke, glancing down at the baby in your carrier. that’s for the better, too, even if it feels impossible peeling your eyes away from ryder when he’s dressed up for game day and looking as good as he does. 

ryder shoots you a boyish smile, one that nearly makes your stomach do flips and you have to look to the front of the classroom to prevent yourself from blushing. “nah, pretty sure you’re just that good as her mother.”

“ryder donovan, what am i gonna do with you?” you let out a breath as you speak, and you’re practically saved by the bell as mrs. wilson begins to talk after the bell rings.

“good morning guys! hope you all had a good first night being new parents and i hope there weren’t too many complications. does anyone have any questions?” she asks, surveying the room to see if any hands shoot up. she nods when she doesn’t see any. “great. now can we go by group by group and share one thing we learned about your baby? who wants to go first?”

as if he couldn’t be more of a mr. perfect, ryder raises his hand and mrs. wilson nods in his direction. “it’s a pretty good replica of an actual baby and they’re just as sensitive. and rocking them also helps to stop them from crying, it’s not just trying to figure out which key helps with what.”

“very good ryder, that’s spot on.” you even have to say you’re impressed by ryder’s answer, turning to give him an impressed look, in turn you receive a smug smile from him.

you listen as one person from each group that had their baby for the night says what they learned or observed, until finally everyone in the classroom gives their answers. “okay, so here’s the part two to this project.” immediately there’s a few groans coming from around the room. “yeah, i know. but this part is a little bit more fun. because you’re supposed ‘teen parents’ you’re going to have a tighter budget than normal. you have to make do with eight hundred and fifty dollars. all fictional, of course. and make a budget of what you need for your newborn baby. and that includes a stroller, a highchair, a crib, diapers, anything you could possibly need for a baby.”

you and ryder both turn to look at each other. “is she serious right now?” ryder mumbles, glancing up towards mrs. wilson before looking back at you.

“i guess she is.” you sigh, crossing your arms over your chest as mrs. wilson begins to explain the second half of your project.

“do you think it would just be easier if one of us just goes to the other’s house?” ryder leans over to ask you quietly and you shrug. “that’s not a response, y/n.”

“well you always have hockey, donovan. one of us is gonna end up doing this entire portion by themself.” it’s not that you’re blaming ryder and his hockey schedule, because you’re not, it was just a bit annoying that the project was planned during the most hectic sports season at your school.

“i’m sorry, y/n. if we’re away for the weekend and you have her for multiple days i’ll make up for it, i promise,” ryder whispers, noticing the glances mrs. wilson is giving the two of you that’s silently telling you to stop talking. 

“now, let’s talk some extra credit.” all of the ears of the kids who needed a grade boost suddenly perk up, including ryder, who’s eyebrows raise. “you can make a family scrapbook. all you have to do is make a slideshow, put pictures of you and your little family and present it in front of the class if you so choose. like i said, it’s only extra credit and it isn’t necessary, but, it’s definitely a little more fun to do.”

“we’re doing that,” ryder whispers as quietly as he can, leaning in closer than he had before. “i have a high c in here and i need to get it up to a b.” 

you nod your head not risking mrs. wilson giving the two of you another warning look as she finishes explaining everything, which ends up taking up the rest of the class.

“so i’m gonna see you tonight, right?” ryder asks as he slings his bookbag over his shoulder. 

“of course, wouldn’t miss it for the world, donovan,” you smile at him, slinging your own bookbag over your back and picking up your baby carrier. as if on cue, saylor begins to cry and your eyes widen. “rydes.”

ryder turns around at the sound of not only the wail of his name, but also the robotic pre recording cry of the baby. “y/n, just pick her up. have you ever taken care of a child before?”

you sheepishly shake your head. you and william were so close in age you didn’t ever take care of him when he was a baby and you don’t remember him being a baby since you were so young. ryder steps in close to you, picking up saylor and positioning her in your arms. 

“just like that,” ryder mumbles, reaching into the carrier to grab the set of keys that would assist in stopping the crying. “i fed her this morning, so she probably needs a dirty diaper change.” ryder mumbles to himself, grabbing the yellow colored key and holding it over the baby’s chest where the sensor was. and just like that, she stops crying. 

“how are you so good at this?” you whine, placing saylor back in the carrier and covering her with a blanket. ryder shrugs, a shy smile on his face.

“i have four other siblings, y/n. i may be the forgotten middle child, but i picked up a few things with my younger siblings.” ryder says, helping you cover up saylor, your hands brushing over each other’s. the warning bell rings, and that’s when you realize your chances of being late to lunch are now extremely high. you look up at the clock and curse under your breath. “what’s up, y/n/n?”

“just gonna be late to lunch, that’s all. kennedy probably stole my seat,” you roll your eyes, picking up the carrier as the two of you begin to make your way out of the classroom. but your eyes catch mrs. wilson, and the younger teacher grins at you, making you smile shyly with blushing cheeks.

to say the least, she knew what she was doing. 

“lunch? try econ with gates, if i’m late to his class i’m gonna have detention for a week.”

you shrug your shoulders, “better get running then, dono, or your ass is grass.”

“yeah, yeah. i’ll see you tonight, y/n. and you better be wearing my sweatshirt.” ryder says and he begins to walk the other way. “oh, and y/n?” ryder asks, and you turn around to see him walking backwards so he’s facing you. “ don’t forget to tell your dad they’re going down tonight.”

chapter two

[takaraphoenix]

Buffy Season 8: Review

It’s bad. It’s just... really... bad. That’s the TL;DR of this review. There was one (1) good thing about this season and that was the return of Oz. So if you’re looking for something that hypes season 8? This is not it. If you are confused, angry or salty about season 8? Hi, yes, me too.

Starting at the beginning. At first, I was really happy that they introduced more characters of color, with Renee and Satsu. And when Renee was then even “promoted” to Xander’s love interest? Nice. The two were even cute.

But no. That was all just the set-up to fridge her. Which, I am so very tired of that trope. And that is what that was. That wasn’t just a slayer dying during a fight. The entire issue of her death focused on her and Xander, building up to their relationship, setting them up for their first date, having her be prominently featured, just to then kill her off and have Xander avenge her.

What made it feel even worse - worse than just the fridging - was that they really had to fridge one of their very few women of color. And, to top it off, spend the entire issue in which she dies having her subjected to racism. Just great. Really, you managed to make an already shitty trope even worse. That’s impressive.

The racism itself too. Dracula. They just decided to make Dracula totally racist now, huh? and it doesn’t get a pass just because Xander points out in the comic that he doesn’t remember Dracula being this racist. Because he wasn’t. This Dracula just throws around slurs left and right in a way that feels more like the writers just really wanted to use slurs. Because the character? He was suave, charming, heck he charmed the straight men and the lesbians too when he was on the show. He was a smooth talker. This Dracula? He just... He was just racist and rude in general. Why.

Moving on from the racism to the next failure in rep. The gays. At this point in time I am simply convinced that Joss Whedon is entirely unfamiliar with the concept of bisexuality.

I know I’ve already made a separate post complaining about this, but it needs mentioning in the review of the season too. Having Buffy hook up with a lesbian twice, but #NoHomo, just a straight girl in her “experimental phase”. That’s just cringey and also offensive. Just... make her... come out as a bisexual? It’s not like the writing in the show hadn’t already set her up with quite the bi vibes.

Instead, the narrative made it sound like the only options would be to be straight or to now suddenly turn “into” a lesbian. Which is also offensive on itself, because - as this very show had proven on screen - lesbians can come out later in life and genuinely, I adore Willow’s arc. For her narrative, it fit to have her come out as a lesbian, the circumstances and her life fit for that. I absolutely agree that it would have been weird for Buffy to have a sudden coming out as a lesbian at that point in her life and after everything, but referring to it as turning into a dyke was just not great.

And lesbian wasn’t the only option. Though, I’m unsure Whedon knows that, considering that 6/6 canon queer characters are homosexual and 4/4 wlw are lesbians. They just keep introducing more lesbians - which, as a lesbian I am always in favor of more lesbians. However, when you have a very small number (2) of queer characters, it figures you can not cover all the sexualities and it’s even fair that even with two, you still choose to have them both be the same sexuality. But... the more you add? The more questionable it becomes that you limit it to one sexuality only.

This arc would have so beautifully set up for Buffy to come out as bi. But no.

And while we’re on the wlw; one of the things I always loved about Buffy was that the lesbians weren’t just there for the male gaze, they weren’t oversexualized. They desired each other, they even had sex. But... in a normal frame work, to a normal amount, meaning equal to how the straights were handled. I always liked that, because especially in early days, lesbians were usually just there to look really hot and have hot sex that straight men could get off to. Well, consider me very unimpressed with the comics, because... man are lesbians sexualized now. Willow gets a hot constantly naked snake goddess girlfriend whom she can only contact by - and I am not making this up - having an orgasm. So we prelude the trip by her having sex with Kennedy, before waking up all nude in snake goddess’ realm and usually having am makeout session or sex with her too while doing whatever business she has with her. So much nakedness, so much oversexualization. Really... disappointing.

Staying on the romance but turning to the other Summers sister, I truly can’t believe they made Xander/Dawn canon. Like, I can not comprehend they decided to make that a canon ship.

Sure, Dawnie’s had a crush on Xander since the literal beginning of Dawn. And that was... cute, honestly. Fifteen year old girls have crushes on cute older guys who are nice to them. Figures. Adorable. But she kind of... grew out of that over the course of the show? Or so it seemed...

And Xander. One of the things I loved about Xander was that Dawn was always a total no go. She was Buffy’s sister, heck, she was kind of every Scoobie’s little sister. He had always had brotherly advise for her. Heck, in this comic he points out that it’s weird since he’s known her since she was little - and yeah it is. It’s not weird when two people were both little together, but when one was sixteen when the other was eleven and one has babysat the other? That’s weird.

Getting infinitely more disturbing by the fact that she... literally... just turned eighteen. If they had put this into a rather later season, or a bigger time skip, had Dawn been A WomanTM for a few years now and Xander had gotten around to separating the idea of kiddo!Dawnie from the woman she has become, but Dawn is only eighteen, she hasn’t become a woman yet. She just turned legal to bang and thus, a switch was flipped in Xander’s mind, putting her on his radar. And just... no. Why.

And even beyond this decision; Dawn spends the first third of this season being slut-shamed in ridiculous ways. Which is also tiresome. I am the last person to defend cheaters, but there’s a difference between “You cheated and are being held accountable for it” and “You cheated so now you are cursed to be a giant, a centaur and then a porcellain doll for weeks at a time, being publicly humiliated and having control over your body taken away from you”. That was... sure a choice.

Moving on to the actual main problem of this season. The plot.

Starting with the incomprehensibly dumb idea of “hey let’s retreat to Tibet, put a huge target on Oz’s new home and get rid of all of our magic. surely that will not come to bite us in the arse when the bad guys find us”. Naturally, it came back to bite them in their collective asses. This was just... No one objected or pointed out how dumb that plan was? Really? No one? Really?

Anyway, let’s talk villains. And work our way up there. The return of Amy and Warren. Once again, I ask why. I’m still salty about the 180° Amy did from sweet Wiccan to wicked bitch after her stint as a rat, but having her now... hook up with Warren, the second biggest misogynist on this show, who is also skinless. She used a spell to keep him alive but she couldn’t... give the spell a color? Anything? Anything to not make him look flayed? Because this was just unnecessarily gross body-horror.

Not to mention the... lack of reaction? Sure, some spoke grumpily against working with Warren. But... this is Warren. The guy who killed Tara when he was trying to kill Buffy. There really should have been more breather-scenes of the Scoobies talking about this, digesting the fact that the guy was still alive and more so when they worked with him.

But nevermind them, because they’re working for Angel. Because Angel’s the villain behind this season. I mean, he was manipulated into that by Twilight, but manipulated means he still chose to do it.

Now let me preface that I might not ship Angel/Buffy, but that really only factors marginally in here, because this plot would be bullshit even if it were my OTP.

We now retcon the creation of the Slayers as not just being something dirty old men did in a cave, it was now all the greater plan of the universe. Which. Might have worked had Slayers been... naturally occuring. And not created by men, forcing this upon a young woman. Sure, what people do can be seen as the greater plan of the universe too if you will, but that seems like a cop-out that absolves bad people of their bad choices and deeds.

Anyway. The universe created Slayers and vampires and the ““balance”“ between them (which is bullshit anyway because 1 Slayer vs thousands of vampires... not balanced at all), including the now supposedly destined romance between Angel and Buffy.

Both get rewarded with super-powers now so they can super-fuck and thus give birth to a new universe. That universe is called Twilight and manifests as a burning, winged, green lion who can talk (because that sure is how I always headcanoned Angel/Buffy’s children to look like /s) and who, through time-travel shenannigans, has been manipulating Angel into his own creation.

The magic pull between them is so strong that it overrides the “Angel just caused the death of over two-hundred Slayers” so Buffy fucks him.

At which point I just... this season was flat-out character assassination of Angel? He was manipulated by the bad guy. Not controlled, manipulated. He caused the death of hundreds. He threw everything he stood for and believed in out the window for the promise of a paradise where he could be with Buffy, when the real Angel has chosen other things, higher goals, over being with Buffy over and over again, because that’s what they do. That is their whole thing, they choose the good of the world over being together. They have always been a “will they/won’t they?” where the answer is they won’t, because they know they are needed elsewhere, by others. But now Angel just... doesn’t care about all that anymore, or heck about his own son and his friends, ready to abandon everything for this.

And then when Twilight is born and consequently abandoned by Buffy, who still prioritizes her friends, family and the world over being with Angel, Angel actually... needs convincing in the abandoning? Because, again, character assassination. Ultimately, Angel gets controlled by Twilight and used to kill Giles and try to kill Buffy.

But thanks to the Deus Ex Machina of Spike dropping in in the final arc, they know how to stop this. He hasn’t been in this season so far, because - truly in line with this season - he was off being the king of a race of alien bugs, traveling in their space-ship.

To stop this all, they go back to Sunnydale, where of course the “heart of the Earth” is located, the seed that contains all magic, and destroy it, and with it all magic. Also, the Master was apparently always just there to guard that seed. He is now back from the dead!

Let me summarize that once more, just for emphasis: The universe wanted Buffy and Angel to fuck so they can give birth to a new universe that personifies as a green, winged, burning lion but before it can destroy our universe, Spike, now king of an alien bug race, delivers the solution to go back to Sunnydale and destroy the seed of all magic that is being guarded by a resurrected Master.

How do you read that with a straight face? How do you pitch that? This is just so incomprehensibly stupid.

We end the comic with Buffy as a waitress, hated by many, Xander and Dawn now have an apartment and are playing house, Willow broke up with Kennedy because she realized she is in love with the snake goddess she will now never get to see again, Giles is dead, Faith somehow inherited everything from Giles and she is also the designated Angel-sitter now.

[back-and-totheleft]

“Make it for the soldiers”

The three-time Oscar winner is back with a new book—Chasing the Light: Writing, Directing, and Surviving Platoon, Midnight Express, Scarface, Salvador, and the Movie Game—and turning its pages is like entering a Stone movie. The one-time infantryman had a single condition in granting HUSTLER this Q&A: “Make it for the soldiers. You’ve got to make it interesting to them.” Movie stars are often household names, but Oliver Stone is one of the few screenwriters and directors to have a high public profile. Now he’s released a new book, and it’s a rip-roaring, rollicking read, full of tense drama and trauma. The 342-page memoir focuses on Stone’s life through the age of 40 and sheds light on what forged Hollywood’s movie maverick and makes him tick.

After the Allies liberated Paris, his father—Colonel Louis Stone, who served on General Eisenhower’s staff—met the Parisian Jacqueline Pauline Cezarine Goddet. In December 1945 they married, which Stone wryly writes was “possibly the greatest mistakes of their lives,” and sailed from France to live in New York, where Louis, a Yale graduate, resumed his Wall Street career as a stockbroker. Stone reveals how their divorce affected him and, for the first time ever, describes in detail his combat experiences in Vietnam, where he was awarded the Bronze Star and a Purple Heart. Coming under fire in Indochina’s jungles ignited an intense mistrust of government and hatred of war that actually compelled Stone to become a filmmaker. As the Chasing the Light subtitle indicates, the book zooms in on four movies and provides a behind-the-scenes peek at Stone’s maneuvering through Tinseltown’s machinations. Stone scored his first Hollywood triumphs as the screenwriter of 1978’s Midnight Express, winning an Oscar and a Golden Globe. Like his script for 1983’s Scarface, Midnight Express lampooned the so-called War on Drugs. This set the stage for Stone to tackle President Reagan’s secret war in Central America with 1986’s hard-hitting Salvador, followed later that same year by his grunt’s-eye view on the Vietnam War, the no-holds-barred Platoon. At the 1987 Academy Awards ceremony, Stone was in the rare enviable position of competing against himself in the Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen category for both Salvador and Platoon. Although he won neither, his boyhood idol Elizabeth Taylor did give Stone the Best Director Oscar for Platoon, which also won for Best Picture. The book’s curtain closes as Stone earns his sublime moment in the limelight, emerging as one of the movie industry’s most celebrated writer-directors of all time. His future body of work—1987’s Wall Street, 1991’s The Doors and JFK through 2016’s Snowden—are only mentioned in passing, if at all. An exception is 1989’s Best Picture-nominated Born on the Fourth of July, for which Stone was awarded his second Best Director Oscar, for helming this searing cinematic biopic about maimed Vietnam War vet Ron Kovic, whose relationship with Stone began during the period his memoir covers. HUSTLER interviewed Stone when he returned to Los Angeles in between trips to Europe to promote his book. In this candid conversation Stone opens up about the Vietnam War, drugs, censorship, Edward Snowden, Larry Flynt, Jackie Kennedy, his new Kennedy assassination film and so much more. HUSTLER: How did Chasing the Light come about? Did you write any of it while sheltering in place? OLIVER STONE: No. I was finishing up in that phase. I wrote it over two years. It was final draft, checking things, draft edits, around February, March… I was working on other things, documentaries and so forth. In your memoir you write about your time in Vietnam. Have you recounted those personal experiences extensively before? No. No, I haven’t. In interviews I’ve shared some of it. But no, this is all fresh material. The movies were dramatic presentations. I talk about Born on the Fourth of July and my relationship with Ron Kovic [the paralyzed Vietnam War vet portrayed by Tom Cruise in the 1989 feature]. And a lot about Platoon. Because both were written in 1976 [the year Kovic’s book was published], which falls in the period I’m covering in Chasing the Light, up to 1986. They play a significant role—the failures of those two films to get made haunted me. You were wounded twice in Vietnam—where you served with distinction as an infantryman, winning a Bronze Star and Purple Heart. So what do you think about President Trump allegedly calling dead soldiers “losers” and “suckers” and stating that military parades should exclude wounded vets? It’s a strange statement. I don’t know if he made it, but it sounds very bizarre. Obviously, I don’t agree with it. On the other hand, I don’t believe we should be over-glorifying our veterans either, because that leads to other sets of problems, which we’ve seen in the spate of recent wars. To prepare for this interview, I watched Scarface again. In your book you mention that you were probably conceived in Europe, your mom was an immigrant from France, and it struck me that Scarface is very much an immigrant’s saga. How do you view the Trump/Stephen Miller immigration and refugee policies? I abhor them. I do believe in immigration—it’s what the American way is about. This country has been built on immigration. Even in this lifetime of mine we’ve had such a new spate of immigration from different countries, Third World, Asia. It’s remarkable. In Scarface we talk about Latin Americans who are coming into Miami, some good, some bad. It’s a rich mix, and that’s what had given America its experimental nature. There’s no fixed America in my mind. It’s 250 years—it’s a constantly changing soup. Scarface, like Midnight Express, is drug-themed. Your memoir is quite candid about your own use of substances. What do you think of the War on Drugs? Who won? [Laughs.] It’s a ludicrous objective. It should not be called a “war.” Listen, I partook of drugs. I’ve been very honest about it. It started for me in Vietnam. I smoked it in the base camps, in the rear, when we came back. I smoked it to relax. I go into the reasons for it. It helped me get through that war as a human being. Very important to me. I respect it. I also talk about drug use later on in my life, like cocaine—which I don’t think worked for me at all, and I said why. So I’m on both sides of it. But I do think it’s an individual issue, of individual responsibility and education. The treatment for it is not punishment but hospitalization or medical help or psychiatric help. The War on Drugs is a waste of money, and again, it’s political. I saw that in Scarface, the birth of the Drug Enforcement [Administration]—very political, huge budgets; it’s growing every year. The Reagan war and all that—they call it a war. Everything in America is a war. But we don’t win any one of them. Have you encountered political censorship in Hollywood for your movies’ dissident politics over the years? You posit that Henry Kissinger and Alexander Haig being on MGM’s board may have affected an early effort to make Platoon. Yes. It’s been a long haul. And I emphasize the word may, because you never know when they turn it down. They never tell you, “It’s because of political reasons that we don’t want to make your film.” They never say that. They couch it in economic terms or, “This is too depressing.” “It’s blah-blah A, B or C.” You never know. In this case, it was a very easy deal for them to make. Dino De Laurentiis was behind it—as my producer he was financing the film. MGM had a distribution deal with Mr. De Laurentiis, and they didn’t live up to it. He was making very risky movies at that time, like Blue Velvet. MGM had to make a minimal investment in distribution costs, and they did not do it. Why? Well, I would assume that the president of MGM at the time, Frank Yablans, said that he had gone to the board and they had turned [Platoon] down, but I’m not sure he’s telling the truth. Because they sometimes don’t even bother to go to the board because they don’t want to take any heat. On the board, of course, were two very conservative men on Vietnam who I’d classify as war hawks. So, I mean, it became a political issue. I do believe that; I have no proof. Also, the Pentagon passed on the film, calling it completely unrealistic. This is an important issue because the movie is realistic. I was there, and I saw it on the ground. I was in four different platoons, in four different units, in three combat platoons. I served in the south and in the north and saw quite a bit of action. And I’m telling you, three things I wrote in the book, about the three lies in Vietnam, I believe apply even today to all fought wars. One is friendly fire. American soldiers get killed by their own side, by small arms fire, artillery and bombs. It’s not precision bombing. About 20 percent of the casualties, wounded and dead, comes from friendly fire. This is a very important point, because it is buried over and over again by the Pentagon in their after-action reports. Recently, the Arizona Cardinals’ Pat Tillman was killed in Afghanistan, and there was a whole mess in trying to get to the reasons for his death. Of course, that was a celebrity-type killing, but this goes on all the time in every war. In Vietnam, in the jungle, you can imagine the asymmetric aspect of it. When fire happens, you don’t even know where the fire is coming from. People are firing—you don’t know if it’s coming in or out. And various things like that are happening all the time. I believe my first wound came about through friendly fire. The second lie I talked about was killing civilians, trashing villages. Racism was really a huge factor in that. We treated the civilians mostly as enemies, as people who were supporting the enemy. [Secretary of Defense] Robert McNamara estimated three to four million Vietnamese killed. The third lie, the biggest one of all: “We’re winning the war.” We heard that lie again and again and again. It was fed to the American people. Even from the beginning, we never had a chance. In Neil Sheehan’s book A Bright Shining Lie, [Lieutenant Colonel] John Paul Vann made it really clear, in 1962 this was a hopeless situation, a hopeless war, because true patriotism was to fight for your country. This was a war, as he said, of independence that was fought against us as colonizers in the wake of the French. Inflating body counts, lying about enemy movements, CIA involvement in the war, no question about it. Misguiding the war. Often bad information, among other things, about the My Lai massacre in March 1968, when 500-plus villagers were killed in cold blood by [U.S.] units who were told that the enemy would be in the village. Not a single enemy bullet was fired in that whole day. And this was investigated by the Army itself, by an honest [lieutenant] general named [William Ray] Peers. He didn’t believe it at first. He thought it was bullshit, that the Seymour Hersh revelations were bullshit. He went in there and investigated thoroughly and came up with the conclusion. That’s what my movie I wanted to make on the My Lai massacre is about. He indicted 20-plus officers all the way up to the top of that division. He indicted the general of that division for his negligence. It’s a disgusting story. But it happens all the time in war and is covered up. Covered up for the dignity of the family, for the dignity of the death and so forth and so on. “How can you criticize the military?” You know, that horrible kind of righteousness, which prevents us from seeing what war is. Although you’re a decorated Vietnam veteran, the Pentagon denied you any support for Platoon—and, I assume, for your other Vietnam War-related movies. Yes, that’s correct. But other directors such as, say, Michael Bay, who never served in the military but who make pro-war, pro-military films, are given permission to shoot at U.S. bases, use of armed services personnel, access to high-tech equipment, etc. What do you make of this double standard? Does it violate the First Amendment? I don’t know about that, but it’s certainly a violation of morality. It’s much bigger than Michael Bay—there’s a book that came out in 2017, National Security Cinema: The Shocking New Evidence of Government Control in Hollywood by Matthew Alford and Tom Secker. James DiEugenio, who works with me, has covered this issue separately in another book, Reclaiming Parkland. These two books cover the involvement of the Pentagon in Hollywood. Alford and his coauthor talk about 800-plus films that were made with Pentagon cooperation. You’d be stunned at some of the films made. Among case studies are Pearl Harbor, Black Hawk Down—which is basically a whitewashing of the affair in Somalia—Charlie Wilson’s War, Hotel Rwanda, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Rules of Engagement, The Terminator, 13 Days, United 93, Wag the Dog. Talks about people like Tom Clancy, of course a big military supporter, and the CIA too. TV series such as Alias, Homeland and 24—which had a tremendous effect on the American public in glorifying the CIA, making it seem like it was a backstop for our security, which is a lie too. It undermined our security. All this is much bigger than Michael Bay. In Chasing the Light you mention “surveillance” a number of times, and of course you made 2016’s Snowden. On September 2, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit ruled that the NSA’s warrantless mass surveillance—which Edward Snowden exposed—was illegal and possibly unconstitutional. What do you think of that, and what should happen to Snowden now? [Laughs.] It’s obviously correct. Snowden should be brought back to the country. I don’t know if he should be pardoned for his wrongs—because he never did anything wrong. He should be pardoned immediately, as should [WikiLeaks’] Julian Assange. The fact is, the NSA has been breaking the law for so many years. We owe it to George Bush and that administration. That was reported on as early as around 2004, but buried by The New York Times until after the election. The Pentagon Papers was released by The Times because they hated Nixon, but I guess with Bush, they gave him a pass. Terrible. It [NSA’s bulk surveillance] has resulted in this sense of unease—you’re always monitored, we have to check our behavior, we’re under control. This is a disaster for the world. Also, other countries have responded accordingly. The World Wide Web is very dangerous. It goes back to the worst days of J. Edgar Hoover. Free speech is a recurring theme in a number of your films. How were you involved in the making of 1996’s The People vs. Larry Flynt? I was a producer. It was written by Larry Karaszewski and Scott Alexander. It was their script. Milos Forman developed it with them. I did feel that Larry Flynt had a case—he won the case [against Reverend Jerry Falwell Sr.]. I’m glad. I’m proud of the movie. After Platoon was released, you quote Jacqueline Kennedy, who wrote you and said, “Your film has changed the direction of a country’s thinking.” Your movies presented a counter-narrative to the Reagan regime’s reactionary agenda. Modesty aside, do you think that Salvador, Platoon and Born on the Fourth of July may have helped stop Reagan and Bush from turning their Contra Wars in Central America into full-fledged Vietnam-like invasions? I don’t believe that they did. What happened was the fortuitous fuckup by the CIA when Eugene Hasenfus was captured after his plane was shot down. He was a contractor—he was in Nicaragua supplying [weapons to the U.S.-backed anti-Sandinista Contras]. It leads to the larger story of Oliver North, Reagan, George Herbert [Walker] Bush and the Iran-Contra affair. That’s what stalled them. Not that it was revealed in its entirety—that’s another story, of course, that’s been buried by The Washington Post’s Katharine Graham, who has been lionized in another kind of movie. But basically that scandal at least was enough to stop the momentum of an invasion, and Reagan did not have the power, the ability, the credibility anymore after October ’86. Which of course helped Platoon too, because it came out right in that juncture, and that revived Salvador, which was rereleased. Both films had an impact, but whether that would have changed the course of Reagan without the accident with the CIA—I don’t think so. Tell us about your new film, JFK: Destiny Betrayed. It’s a four-hour documentary, and it has the facts. More facts than ever. We deal with everything that happened after—in terms of documentation—since [JFK] came out in 1991. Very interesting. Because the assassination records review board, which was created from the JFK film with the JFK [Records] Act—although it was stymied by many restrictions, it did manage to release a fair amount of documents. Not all. And in those documents there’s quite a bit of information, including, of course, Operation Northwoods, that the Pentagon was operating to undercut Cuba. What are some of the highlights you learned since 1991 about the liquidation of President Kennedy? Well, I think you have to wait for the movie. [Laughs.] But certainly the ties of [Lee Harvey] Oswald to the CIA. That’s more explicit. Certainly, the evidence. We revisit the original evidence presented by Mark Lane but with new witnesses; new characters have come forward. Many people [didn’t] talk, but they start talking after the movie in the 1990s…People talk. All these informational signals come from all directions. You explain that your book title, Chasing the Light, refers to a moviemaking term. But does it also allude to your personal quest for enlightenment? And if so, have you attained it yet? Well, I’m much older [now] than when the book ends. But certainly that is an important moment, in 1986. After wanting to achieve a dream of writing and directing since I was 22 and being rejected and defeated many times, having some success along the way, and after having almost given up at 30—finally, at the age of 40, I really had a breakthrough of major proportions, with two solid movies back to back that really convinced the world, as well as myself, that I was a writer-director. It was a core victory for me and an important fact. That sets the tone for the foundation of my character. There’s going to be changes, more detours, pushes and turns in the story, but certainly, it’s established in 1986. So your memoir ends in 1987. That means a lot of your other classics are yet to come. So, in that grand Hollywood tradition, will there be a sequel to Chasing the Light? Well, I hope so. I do hope so. I hope the book does well enough to justify it. What’s next for you? I have two documentaries. One is the JFK documentary, four hours long, that won’t be out for a year. Another one is unedited, about the future, the need for clean energy, which includes nuclear energy. It’s based on a book I bought called A Bright Future: How Some Countries Have Solved Climate Change and the Rest Can Follow, by Joshua Goldstein and a Swedish scientist, Staffan A. Qvist. I understand you’re traveling these days. I’m about to promote the book in Paris. I just came back from Italy, France and Germany… It was big in Italy—they loved me. [Laughs.] Much better than in the United States.

-Ed Rampell, Hustler, Jan 16 2021

[cutsliceddiced]

New top story from Time: How COVID-19 Will Shape the Class of 2020 For the Rest of Their Lives

They call it commencement because it’s supposed to be a new beginning.

College graduation is one of life’s last clean transitions, a final passage from adolescence to adulthood that is predictable in ways other transitions rarely are. Relationships end with breakups or death, jobs often end with quitting or firing, but college is one of the only things in life that ends with a fresh start. Except when it doesn’t.

One morning in March, Clavey Robertson took a study break and climbed onto the roof of his dorm at the University of California, Berkeley. He had spent the past year working on his senior thesis on the erosion of the social-safety net since the Great Depression, and he needed to clear his head. In the distance, Robertson could see a tiny white speck: the Diamond Princess cruise ship, carrying crew members infected with COVID-19, lingering in the San Francisco Bay.

Photograph by Hannah Beier for TIME

Hannah Beier, a photography major in the Drexel University Class of 2020, has been virtually photographing her classmates in quarantine. She directed this series of portraits over FaceTime.

Two months later, Robertson’s transition to adulthood is in limbo. He skipped his online commencement and he’s living in his childhood bedroom, which had been converted to a guest room. His parents have lost their travel agency work, and his own job prospects have dried up. “No longer am I just a student writing about the Great Depression,” he says. “Now there’s a depression.”

College graduation is often marked by an adjustment period, as students leave the comforts of campus to find their way in the raw wilderness of the job market. But this year’s graduates are staggering into a world that is in some ways unrecognizable. More than 90,000 Americans have died; tens of millions are out of work; entire industries have crumbled. The virus and the economic shock waves it unleashed have hammered Americans of all ages. But graduating in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic will have enduring implications on the Class of 2020: for their memories, their earning power, and their view of what it means to have a functional society. For these young adults, the pandemic represents not just a national crisis but also a defining moment.

Hannah BeierJoshua McCaw, Drexel University Class of 2020, in his childhood bedroom in Brooklyn

Even before COVID-19, the Class of 2020 came of age at a time of fear and uncertainty. Born largely in 1997 and 1998—among the oldest of Gen Z—the Class of 2020 were in day care and pre-kindergarten on 9/11. Their childhoods have been punctuated by school -shootings and catastrophic climate change. Their freshman year at college began with President Donald Trump’s election; their senior year ended with a paralyzing global health crisis. “We stepped into the world as it was starting to fall apart,” says Simone Williams, who graduated from Florida A&M University in an online commencement May 9. “It’s caused my generation to have a vastly different perspective than the people just a few years ahead of us or behind us.”

Researchers have found that the major events voters experience in early adulthood—-roughly between the ages of 14 and 24—tend to define their political attitudes for the rest of their lives. And the Class of 2020’s generation was -already disaffected. Only 8% of -Americans -between 18 and 29 believe the government is working as it should be, and fewer than 1 in 5 consider themselves “very patriotic,” according to the 2020 Harvard Kennedy School Institute of Politics survey of young Americans. They are at once widely skeptical of U.S. institutions and insistent on more government solutions; they’re disappointed in the current system, but hold out hope for a better one.

Hannah BeierBrooke Yarsinsky, Drexel University Class of 2020, celebrating her birthday in her family’s kitchen in Marlton, N.J.

For the Class of 2020, COVID-19’s lasting impact may be determined by what happens next. If the rising cohort of young workers are left to fend for themselves, mass youth unemployment could lead to permanent disillusionment or widespread despair. A forceful, effective response that invests in the rising generation of American talent could restore their faith in the system.

It’s not clear to the Class of 2020 how the pandemic will play out. They just know it will change their lives. “Everything” is at stake, says Yale history major Adrian Rivera. “It’s this pivotal moment where we’ll never forget what’s done,” he says. “Or what isn’t done.”

School is often a refuge from the gusts of history. But the events that rupture the classroom routine, from President Kennedy’s assassination to 9/11, tend to be the ones that stick with students forever.

The coronavirus disrupted more class time, for more students, than almost any other event in U.S. history. It started with a scramble: The University of Washington announced on March 6 that it was cancelling in-person classes for its 57,000 students. Then Stanford University followed suit. Over the next few days, campuses from Harvard to the University of Michigan announced they’d be transitioning to online learning. Soon, hundreds of other colleges and universities followed.

Hannah BeierBen Scofield, Drexel University Class of 2020, on his bed in his new apartment in the Bushwick neighborhood of Brooklyn

By Friday, March 13, an eerie silence fell on campuses across the nation. “Something about that day was really weird, because every time my friends and I would say ‘See you later’ or ‘Catch you after break,’ I just had this sinking feeling that I wasn’t going to see them,” says Vincent Valeriano, a member of Iowa State University’s Class of 2020. “Saying goodbye felt like it carried a lot more weight than it used to.” He ended up watching his online -graduation -ceremony at home, in his pajamas.

For underclassmen, the shortened semester was an irritating disruption. For seniors, it was a total upheaval. “There’s no way for there to be closure,” says Sam Nelson, who recently graduated with a journalism degree from the University of Missouri. “I know in real life, closure doesn’t exist, but this is one of the last moments for young people to say goodbye to young adulthood and move into the next phase of their lives.”

The Class of 2020 hugged their closest friends and mourned their lost semester, but scattered back home without so much as a goodbye to many people they’d lived with for years. Acquaintances who laughed in hallways or shared inside jokes in seminars simply disappeared. Fraternities and sororities canceled their formals and philanthropy events, attempting Zoom happy hours that didn’t come close to the real thing. For some couples, casual hookups quickly escalated into long-distance relationships. Others quietly packed up their feelings for college crushes and left without saying a word.

Hannah Beier for TIMESarah Pruitt, Drexel University Class of 2020, at home with her mom in Colchester, Conn.

The loss of a milestone like an in–person commencement had a special sting for some families. Arianny Pujols, the first natural-born U.S. citizen in her family and the first to graduate from college, still did her hair and makeup as if she were walking across the stage at Missouri State University. She and her family held a small ceremony in her grandfather’s backyard, and then she stood on the sidewalk in her cap and gown waving at cars with a sign that said “Honk, I did it!” Brenda Sanchez, 22, whose parents are immigrants from Mexico, says they will miss both her graduation from Humboldt State University in California and her sister’s college graduation the next day. “My parents didn’t go to school. They didn’t graduate,” says Sanchez, who is herself an immigrant and is protected from deportation by President Obama’s Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals policy. “Your heart breaks a little. You did work hard, you did earn this degree, but you’re not going to see yourself walk across that stage.”

Instead of graduating into their future lives, many Class of 2020 seniors feel like they’ve gone backward. “We were ready to be in the world as young adults—not good adults, maybe clumsy adults, but some kind of adult,” says Ilana Goldberg, who recently graduated from Tufts University in an online ceremony. “We’re not in the system anymore, but we’re not far enough out of it to have our footing in the world.”

Hannah BeierLauren, Parsons School of Design Class of 2017, and Dylan, Marist College Class of 2017, quarantining in Lauren’s family home in Woodstock, VT

Eric Kolarik, who was supposed to be sitting at his University of Michigan commencement ceremony in early May, is instead back home in Traverse City, Mich., raking leaves, helping his mom with the dishes, doing the same chores he did in high school. “I’m 22 but I’ve assumed the life of 15-year-old Eric again,” he says. “You feel like a failure to launch.”

If only they knew that a stolen senior spring is the least of their problems. The Class of 2020 is falling through a massive hole in the U.S. social-safety net, into a financial downturn that could define their lives for decades to come. Graduating seniors have lost on–campus jobs that got them through school. Many haven’t been working for long enough to qualify for full unemployment. If they’ve been listed as dependents on their parents’ taxes, they don’t get a stimulus check. They haven’t had time to build up significant savings.

Hannah Beier for TIMEDestiny, Drexel University Class of 2019, at home in Palmyra, PA

“I’m not sure they’ve fully processed what 25% unemployment, disproportionately affecting younger Americans, will actually mean,” says John Della Volpe, director of polling at Harvard’s Institute of Politics. He recalls that during the last recession, the Class of 2009 scrambled to scoop up opportunities, “like a game of- -musical chairs.” The Class of 2020, by contrast, is essentially frozen in place by a pandemic that has trapped much of the nation inside their homes. “There almost are no opportunities in any sector,” Della Volpe says. “It’s like suspended animation.”

More than 1 in 5 employers surveyed by the National Association of Colleges and Employers in April said they were rescinding their summer internship offers. The overall number of postings on the online jobs platform ZipRecruiter have fallen by nearly half since mid-February, while new postings for entry-level positions have plummeted more than 75%, according to ZipRecruiter labor economist Julia Pollak. A year ago, less experienced job seekers were enjoying brisk wage growth and rosy job prospects. Now, Pollak says, “it’s particularly hard for new graduates.

Sanchez, who worked two jobs and started her own eyelash-extension business to help pay for school, has applied for more than 70 jobs in recent weeks without success. Williams, who dreams of working in the entertainment industry, had no luck with at least 15 jobs and struck out with fellowships that are no longer taking applicants; now she’s cobbling together gig work. Robertson had planned to try to get a job in labor activism; these days, he’s considering graduate school instead.

Hannah BeierJillian Yagoda with her boyfriend Benjamin Halperin, both in the University of Maryland Class of 2020, in the apartment they share in College Park, Md.

It’s not just dream jobs that have disappeared. Historically, many young people take positions in the retail or restaurant industries as they find their path. According to Pew, of the roughly 19 million 16-to-24-year-olds in the labor force, more than 9 million were employed in the service sector. Suddenly, a significant chunk of those jobs have evaporated. In April alone, the leisure and hospitality industry lost 47% of its total workforce, with 7.7 million workers newly unemployed, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Which means the economic crisis has hit the youngest harder than any other age group. More than half of Americans under 30 say someone in their household has lost a job or taken a pay cut because of the corona-virus crisis, according to Pew, and the youngest workers are more likely than older generations to say that the pandemic has hurt their finances more than other people.

Graduating into a bad economy can affect everything from future earnings to long-term health and happiness. Researchers have found that beginning a career in the teeth of a recession can depress earnings for 10 years, and trigger broader impacts for decades. One study from UCLA and Northwestern found that the young people who came of age -during the early 1980s recession had higher mortality, and were more likely to get divorced, and less likely to have children. Till von Wachter, a UCLA labor economist who has spent years studying this issue, has a name for these young people who enter the labor force at the worst possible moment: “unlucky graduates.”

Hannah BeierSisters Camilla Nappa, Drexel University Class of 2020, and Sophia Nappa, NYU Class of 2022, isolating at their father’s home in St. Louis

Rather than brave a job market battered by COVID-19, some in the Class of 2020 are seeking refuge in graduate school. But that presents its own conundrum. As of 2019, nearly 7 in 10 college students graduated with student loans, with an average tab of nearly $30,000. Going to graduate school can mean –taking on even more debt. “I’m having to take out grad loans, but I can’t work to pay them off,” says Sean Lange, who plans to enroll in a master’s program in public policy after graduating from New York’s Stony Brook University in an online ceremony in May. He’s not even sure he’ll get his money’s worth for the $18,000 annual tuition. Especially if his classes end up being taught online.

All of this—the forgone memories, the abrupt goodbyes, the lost opportunities—will stay with the Class of 2020 forever. “The coronavirus pandemic is the biggest cultural event since World War II,” says Jean Twenge, a psychologist and author of iGen, who studies millennials and Gen Z. “It’s going to have a huge impact on -everyone, but young adults in particular.”

Hannah BeierMagda, Drexel University Class of 2022, with her family in Lynbrook, NY

Even before COVID-19, much of Gen Z was disappointed in the government response to the issues facing their generation. These are the students who joined the March for Our Lives gun-safety movement amid near weekly school shootings, and went on strike over inaction on climate change. They were too young to be swept up in Barack Obama’s 2008 campaign, but old enough to gravitate toward Bernie Sanders’ message of progressive revolution in the 2016 primary. Those who were old enough to vote overwhelmingly opposed President Trump in that year’s general election. They favor student debt reform and universal health care. They are the most -racially diverse generation in U.S. history.

Their skepticism of public institutions is largely fueled by a sense that the government is doing too little, not too much. A study last year by Pew Research Center found that 7 in 10 wanted the government to “do more to solve problems.” The divide is generational, not political: more than half of Gen Z Republicans say they want the government to do more. (Less than a third of older Republicans agree.)

Near mandatory use of social media has already contributed to sky-high levels of depression and anxiety among Gen Z, according to Twenge. She analyzed data from the National Survey on Drug Use and Health and found that the number of young adults reporting symptoms of major depression had increased 63% between 2009 and 2017, with a marked turning point around 2012, when smartphone use first became widespread. The pandemic has likely only made them more anxious and disillusioned. Pew found that Americans between 18 and 29 are more likely than older ones to feel depressed during the pandemic, and less hopeful about the future than the senior citizens who are far more vulnerable to the disease caused by the virus.

Hannah Beier for TIMEKathryn Murashige, Drexel University Class of 2020, in the sunroom of her childhood home in Kennett Square, Pa.

Which helps explain why young activists view this as a now-or-never moment for their cohort. They know that the pandemic will shape their futures, even if it’s not yet clear exactly how. “Either we will end up with a generation that is far more resilient than earlier generations,” says Varshini Prakash, a leader of the Gen Z–powered Sunrise Movement, “or it could be a generation that is far more nihilistic, and far less likely to engage in our politics because they’ve seen the institutions fail them at the times they really needed it.” The youngest cohort of Americans “could be traumatized for life,” says Robert Reich, a former U.S. Labor Secretary who is now a professor of public policy at University of California, Berkeley. “They could turn economically and socially inward. They could lose faith in all institutions, and they are trending in that direction anyway.”

In other countries, like Egypt, Tunisia and Spain, widespread unemployment among educated young people has led to social unrest or radicalization, mostly because of a sense of betrayal. They think, “we thought there was some kind of bargain, a social contract, that if we play by the rules we get a job at the end of all of this,” says Heath Prince, a research scientist at University of Texas at Austin. So far youth unemployment in the U.S. is mostly correlated with drug addiction and right-wing extremism, Prince says, and hasn’t tipped into the realm of mass uprisings. Then again, -unemployment hasn’t been this high in nearly 80 years.

“My generation isn’t feeling like they’re being spoken to or listened to, and at the same time, a lot of us are becoming economically disenfranchised,” says Robertson, the University of California, Berkeley, graduate who studied the New Deal. “I definitely think a lot of us have lost confidence in the government.”

The only way to address an unemployment rate reminiscent of the 1930s, according to some scholars, students and activists, is a federal government response that echoes the scale of 1930s reforms. President Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s New Deal included major initiatives to get young Americans back to work. Six days after he took office in 1933, Roosevelt proposed the Civilian Conservation Corps: within four months, the federal government had hired 300,000 young men to plant trees and maintain parks and trails. Three million young people were ultimately employed as part of the program. In 1935, Roosevelt created the National Youth Administration (NYA) as part of the Works Progress Administration, designed to give young Americans work-study and job training. (A young Lyndon B. Johnson got an early political break as an administrator of the NYA program in Texas.) The Americans employed by these New Deal programs grew into the selfless, patriotic army that fought World War II, now known as the “Greatest Generation.”

Some Democrats say the COVID-19 pandemic calls for a similar approach. Senator Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts has called for a “Coronavirus Containment Corps,” to expand the public-health workforce and employ an army of contact-tracers to help fight the spread of the virus. (Warren, an admirer of the New Deal, noted the CCC acronym is no coincidence.) Senator Chris Coons (D., Del.) joined with Senator Bill Cassidy (R., La.) to champion a national service bill that would expand Americorps and fund 750,000 jobs to help train new health care workers to fight COVID-19. And proponents of a Green New Deal, like Prakash and Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York, are working to shape the environmental policy of presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden.

Given Republicans’ skepticism of big government programs, none of these ideas are likely to make it through Mitch McConnell’s Senate or onto President Trump’s desk. But the political landscape has already shifted the universe of the possible, with Republicans agreeing to recovery measures—such as sending $1,200 stimulus checks to eligible working Americans—that would have been unthinkable only months ago. And if Democrats reclaim the Senate and the White House, broader reform could be closer than it looks. Young people who are skeptical of government’s ability to solve big problems say their faith can be restored. “I have no faith in this Administration and this government,” explains Lange, the Stony Brook public-policy student. “But I believe in Big Government.”

Eric Kolarik spent his last semester at the University of Michigan working on a paper about the 1918 flu pandemic. Now, with classes canceled and his job search on ice, his copy of The Great Influenza is on his childhood bookshelf, alongside his old high school copies of The Crucible and Of Mice and Men. “There will be a sort of unity that the Class of 2020 has with each other, and it’s not fond memories,” he says. “People will say, ‘You’re the Class of 2020,’ and everyone will know what that meant.”

The pandemic has marked the end of one phase for this unlucky cohort. The recovery could mark the beginning of another.

Cover photograph in collaboration with Melissa Nesta

via https://cutslicedanddiced.wordpress.com/2018/01/24/how-to-prevent-food-from-going-to-waste

[ljones41]

"STAR WARS: EPISODE IX - THE RISE OF SKYWALKER" (2019) Review

"STAR WARS: EPISODE IX - THE RISE OF SKYWALKER" (2019) Review Despite its success at the box office, the second film in the Disney STAR WARS Sequel Trilogy, "STAR WARS: EPISODE VIII - THE LAST JEDI", proved to be something of a publicity disaster. Many film critics loved it. An even greater number of moviegoers disliked it. Many have attributed this schism within the STAR WARS fandom as a contributing factor to the box office failure of "SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY". To regain the universal love of the fandom, Disney Studios and Kathleen Kennedy of Lucasfilm brought back J.J. Abrams, who had directed "STAR WARS: EPISODE VII - THE FORCE AWAKENS", to handled the trilogy's third entry, "STAR WARS: EPISODE IX - THE RISE OF SKYWALKER".

Disney Studios and Lucasfilm heralded "THE RISE OF SKYWALKER" as not only the end of the franchise's Sequel Trilogy, but also the end of the Skywalker family saga, which began under George Lucas. The 2019 movie began a year after "THE LAST JEDI". The Resistance under Leia Organa has been hiding from the ever growing threat of the First Order, which has been ruled by her son, Kylo Ren aka Ben Solo. Leia has also been training Force acolyte Rey, while orchestrating the Resistance's attempts to rebuild the organization and form contacts with other worlds and factions throughout the Galaxy. However, the film's opening crawl reveals that Emperor Sheev Palpatine is still alive, despite being tossed down the second Death Star's reactor shaft by Anakin Skywalker aka Darth Vader, while being electrocuted in "STAR WARS: EPISODE VI - RETURN OF THE JEDI". Palpatine vows revenge against the Galaxy for its rejection of him and his power. Leia charges Poe Dameron, Finn and Rey to search for Palpatine and destroy him. Kylo Ren also seeks Palpatine with the intent to kill the latter and maintain his own supremacy of the First Order. Kylo Ren eventually manages to find Palpatine on the remote planet of Exegol. He learns that his former master, Snoke, had merely been a puppet of Palpatine. And the former Emperor wants him to find Rey and kill her in order to remove any possible threat to the resurgence of the Sith Order. When I learned that J.J. Abrams would return to the "STAR WARS" franchise to conclude the Sequel Trilogy, my reactions were mixed. On one hand, I disliked his handling of "THE FORCE AWAKENS". On the other hand, I completely loathed what Rian Johnson had done with "THE LAST JEDI". And when Abrams had promised to do right by the Finn character, which had been so badly mishandled by Johnson . . . well, some part of me did not know whether to welcome Abrams' return or be leery of it. There were aspects of "THE RISE OF SKYWALKER" that I liked. I was impressed by Dan Mindel's cinematography for the movie, especially in scenes that featured the planet of Pasaana. I thought Mindel did an excellent job of utilizing the country of Jordan for those scenes, as shown below:

I was also impressed how Mindel shot the visual effects for the last duel between Rey and Kylo Ren among the second Death Star ruins on the Endor moon. Some of the film's action sequences struck me as pretty memorable, thanks to Abrams' direction, Mindel's cinematography and stunt coordinator Eunice Huthart. I am referring to those scenes that feature the heroes' occasional encounters with the First Order on Psaana and aboard the First Order star ship. I was also relieved to see the trilogy's three protagonists - Rey, Finn and Poe Dameron - and Chewbacca spend a great deal of the movie together. The four characters managed to create a pretty solid dynamic, thanks to the performances of Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Oscar Isaac and Joonas Suotamo and it is a shame that audiences never got a chance to experience this dynamic in the trilogy's other two films. There was an aspect of the film's narrative that delivered a great deal of satisfaction to me. It is a small matter, but involved Rey's Jedi training. I am very relieved that Abrams finally allowed Rey to receive substantial training from a mentor, who happened to be Leia. A year had passed between "THE LAST JEDI" and "THE RISE OF SKYWALKER". Rey's first scene established that Leia had been training her during that year. The movie also established in a flashback that Leia had received her training from her brother Luke Skywalker. Why did I find this satisfying? Most of Luke's own Jedi training had also occurred during the period of a year - between the events of "STAR WARS: EPISODE V - THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK" and "RETURN OF THE JEDI". And during this period, he had received his training from . . . you know, I have no idea on how Luke managed to complete his training. Even after so many years. To this day, it is a mystery. And this is why I am grateful that Abrams and co-writer Chris Terrio had made it clear that Leia had continued Rey's training between "THE LAST JEDI" and "THE RISE OF SKYWALKER". The performances featured in the movie struck me as pretty solid, especially from the leads - Ridley, Boyega, Isaac and Adam Driver. The movie also featured solid, yet brief performances from returning cast members such as Kelly Marie Tran, Domhnall Gleeson, Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Billie Lourd, Lupita Nyong'o, and the late Carrie Fisher. Dominic Monaghan, Naomie Ackie, Keri Russell and Richard E. Grant all made nice additions to the trilogy. It was great to see Billy Dee Williams reprise his role as Lando Calrissian. He was one of the bright spots of this film. Hell, it was even nice to see Denis Lawson as Wedge Antilles again, despite his brief appearance. But if I must be honest, I was not particularly blown away by any of them - including the usually outstanding Boyega. Actually, I take that back. There was one cast member who provided a moment of superb acting. I refer to Joonas Suotamo, who did an excellent job in conveying a true moment of grief and despair for Chewbacca's character in the film's second half. But I do have a complaint about one particular performance. And it came, from all people, Ian McDiarmid who portrayed the surprisingly alive Emperor Palpatine. How can I put this? This Palpatine seemed like a ghost of his former self. No. Wait. That was phrased wrong. What I meant to say is that McDiarmid's portrayal of Palpatine in this film seemed like an exaggeration in compare to his performances in the Original and Prequel Trilogy films. Exaggerated . . . ham-fisted. I found McDiarmid's scenes so wince-inducing that I could barely watch them. However, aware of McDiarmid's true skills as an actor, I finally realized that his bad performance may have been a result of J.J. Abrams' direction. The latter's failure as a director in Palpatine's scenes and failure to visualize the character as a subtle and manipulative villain really impeded McDiarmid's performance. Unfortunately, McDiarmid's performance was not my only problem with "THE RISE OF SKYWALKER". I had a host of others. Many film critics have bashed J.J. Abrams for trying to reject what Rian Johnson had set up in "THE LAST JEDI". I find this criticism ironic, considering that Johnson had rejected a great deal of what Abrams had set up in "THE FORCE AWAKENS". Not that it really matters to me. I disliked "THE FORCE AWAKENS". I disliked "THE LAST JEDI". And if I must be brutally honest, I disliked "THE RISE OF SKYWALKER". Like the other two films, I thought the 2019 movie was pretty bad. My first problem with "THE RISE OF SKYWALKER" was its main narrative. Basically, the entire story revolved around the heroes and the First Order's search for the now alive Palpatine. The film's opening crawl pretty much announced to movie audiences that Palpatine was alive without bothering presenting this revelation as a surprise. It is simply the old case of "tell and not show" that has hampered a great number of fictional works throughout time. I believe this narrative device especially does not suit a plot for a motion picture or a television series, because it comes off as a cheat. It is lazy writing. Worse, most of the main characters spend a great deal of the movie searching for Palpatine. And when they finally discover him, no one bothered to ask how he had escaped death after being allegedly killed by Anakin Skywalker aka Darth Vader in "RETURN OF THE JEDI". How did Palpatine survive being tossed to his death, while being electrocuted by Force lightning? Well, STAR WARS fans finally learned the truth in the film's novelization written by Rae Carson. The only major character who immediately managed to find Palpatine was Kylo Ren, who used a Sith wayfinder . . . or compass. Meanwhile, Rey, Finn, Poe and Chewbacca had to resort to following clues to lead to first a Sith dagger, and later, a Sith wayfinder - traveling from one planet to another at a dizzying speed. This whole search for a wayfinder and Palpatine struck me as unnecessarily rushed. I do not think it is a good thing when a person complains about the fast pacing of a movie with a 142 minutes running time. For me, this exposed the hollow nature of the movie's narrative. As I had earlier stated, the majority of the film's narrative is centered around the protagonists' determination to find Palpatine. A part of me wonders how did the Resistance and the First Order had planned to kill him, once he was discovered. And yes, the First Order's leader, Kylo Ren, also wanted Palpatine's dead. But how did any of them plan to kill him? The movie never conveyed any of the other characters' plans. Worse, this search for Palpatine had transformed the movie into some space opera version of both the INDIANA JONES and NATIONAL TREASURE movie franchises. Was that why Abrams had decided to expose Palpatine's return or resurrection in the film's opening crawl? So he could have his major characters embark on this "Indiana Jones" style hunt for Palpatine from the get go? Or relive the whole "map to Luke Skywalker" search from "THE FORCE AWAKENS" that proved to be so irrelevant? Well guess what? The "Search for Palpatine" proved to be equally irrelevant. Watching Rey, Finn, Poe and Chewbacca hunt down artifacts that would lead them to Palpatine was one of the more ridiculous aspects of this film. I felt as if I had watched a hybrid STAR WARS/INDIANA JONES/NATIONAL TREASURE movie. It was fucking exhausting. Returning to Palpatine, I was unpleasantly shocked to learn that during the thirty years he was missing, he had created a new fleet of Star Destroyers, each ship equipped with a planet-killing laser. Thirty years. Is that how long it took Palpatine (or his clone) to create a fleet of planet killing Star Destroyers? Is that why he had taken so long construct these ships? If one Star Destroyer can destroy a planet, why did he bother to wait so long to use any of them to re-take the Galaxy? Three decades? I wish I could say more, but I do not see the point. Is a Star Destroyer strong enough to be used as a "base" for a laser powerful enough to destroy a planet?

I have also noticed that the lightsaber duels featured in "THE RISE OF SKYWALKER" . . . well, they were bad. Quite a travesty, if I must be honest. I have never been that impressed by the lightsaber duels in the Sequel Trilogy, but even I must admit that Kylo Ren's duels with both Finn and Rey in "THE FORCE AWAKENS" were somewhat better than the Obi-Wan Kenobi/Darth Vader duel in "STAR WARS: EPISODE IV - A NEW HOPE". But after the 2015 movie . . . dear God. Rey and Kylo Ren's fight against Snoke's guards in "THE LAST JEDI" struck me as something of a joke. But Rey and Kylo Ren's duels in "THE RISE OF SKYWALKER" were simply abysmal. Dan Mindel's cinematography and the movie's visual effects team could do nothing to hide the laughable nature of the duels. Both Daisy Ridley and Adam Driver seemed to spend a great deal of their time slashing at each with no semblance of swordsmanship whatsoever. Where is Nick Gillard when you need him?

Not surprisingly, "THE RISE OF SKYWALKER" revealed a number of Force abilities that appeared for the first (or second time) in the STAR WARS franchise. The Force bond between Rey and Kylo Ren, which was created by Snoke in the previous film; allowed the First Order leader to snatch a necklace from the Resistance fighter's neck in a violent manner - despite the fact that the pair was thousands of miles from each other. And in another scene, while Rey faced Palpatine and Kylo Ren faced the Knights of the Ren, she was able to hand over a lightsaber to him - despite being miles apart. How did they do this? I have not the foggiest idea. I do not even understand how Abrams and Terrio managed to create this ability in the first place. And frankly, I find it rather stupid and implausible. Force healing. For the first time in the history of the franchise, a Force user has the ability to heal. How did this come about? I have not the foggiest idea. If this had been the case during the events of the Prequel Trilogy, chances are Anakin Skywalker would have never become a Sith Lord. The Force healing ability made its debut in the Disney Plus series, "THE MANDALORIAN" . . . I think. However, Kylo Ren had the ability to use Force healing. So did Rey. I do not know who taught them or how . . . fuck it! I will just treat this as another plot device that came out of Lucasfilm's ass. "THE RISE OF SKYWALKER" also revealed that the "resurrected" Palpatine had the ability to transfer one person's essence into the body of another. How? More contrived writing.

Speaking of contrivance, there is the matter of one Leia Organa. Although a part of me still believes Lucasfilm should have killed off Leia Organa in "THE LAST JEDI", in the wake of Carrie Fisher's death a year before the film's release; I must admit that Abrams did an admirable job in utilizing old footage of the actress from "THE FORCE AWAKENS", digital special effects and Billie Lourd as a body double for some of Leia's scenes. But I hated the way Leia was finally killed off. It was similar to Luke's ludicrous death in "THE LAST JEDI". I HATE how Disney Studios and Lucasfilm portray the Force as some kind of energy that can kill an individual if it was used too long or too hard. As if the Force user was some kind of goddamn battery. I really hate that. And this is why I dislike Leia's death just as much as I disliked Luke's. In fact, this movie seemed to be filled with contrived writing. As for the Rebel Alli . . . I mean the Resistance, I noticed that their numbers had grown since the end of "THE LAST JEDI". Had Leia managed to recruit new members for the Resistance's cause during the year between the two films? If so, "THE RISE OF SKYWALKER" did not hint one way or the other. I mean there were barely enough Resistance members to crowd the Millennium Falcon in the last film's finale. And the narrative for "THE RISE OF SKYWALKER" seemed to hint that aside from Maz Kanata, hardly anyone new had bothered to join the Resistance during that year between the two films. So . . . if this is true, why did the number of Resistance members seemed to have tripled during that year between the two movies? Among the new members is one Beaumont Kin, portrayed by "LOST" alumni Dominic Monaghan. Speaking of characters - the arcs for the major characters have proven to be as disastrous as those featured in "THE FORCE AWAKENS" and especially "THE LAST JEDI". I was surprised to see Maz Kanata as a member of the Resistance. Her recruitment into the organization was never seen on screen. Even worse, the former smuggler and tavern owner was basically reduced to a background character with one or two lines. Actress Lupita Nyong'o's time was certainly wasted for this film. Although I thought Rose Tico was a promising character, I never liked how Rian Johnson had used her as a very unnecessary mentor for Finn in "THE LAST JEDI". However, my hopes that J.J. Abrams would do her character justice in "THE RISE OF SKYWALKER" proved to be fruitless. In this film, Rose had been reduced from supporting character to minor character, who spent most of her appearances interacting with Monaghan's Beaumont Kin in three or four scenes. What a damn waste! Speaking of waste . . . poor Domhnall Gleeson. His character, General Armitage Hux, was another character whose presence was wasted in "THE RISE OF SKYWALKER". Audiences learned in the film's second half that he had become a mole for the Resistance, supplying the group information on the First Order's movements. The problem with this scenario is that film had Hux explained that he was simply betraying his leader, Kylo Ren. But his reason for this betrayal was never fully explained, let alone developed. Harrison Ford returned in a brief cameo appearance as the ghost of Han Solo. Wait a minute. Let me re-phrase that. Ford returned as a figment of Kylo Ren's imagination . . . as Han Solo. How was his performance? Unmemorable. "THE RISE OF SKYWALKER" also featured a good number of new characters. Probably too many. I have already mentioned Resistance fighter Beaumont Kim. Abrams and co-writer Chris Terrio also introduced Jannah, a former stormtrooper who had deserted from the First Order like Finn. When she was introduced, I had assumed that Finn's background would finally be explored. Never happened. Worse, Abrams only allowed Jannah - a new character - to speculate on her background in one line spoken to Lando Calrissian. And nothing else. Next, there was Zorri Bliss, a smuggler and former paramour of Poe Dameron's, who provided the Resistance with information on how to interpret the Sith dagger in their possession. Aside from this task, Bliss managed to miraculously survive the destruction of Kijimi, her homeworld to participate in the final battle against Palpatine and the First Order. Through her, audiences learned that Poe was a former spice smuggler . . . a drug smuggler. More on this, later. And finally, we have Allegiant General Enric Pryde, who came out of no where to become Kylo Ren's top commander. It occurred to me that Pryde turned out to be the Sequel Trilogy's General Grievous. I love the Prequel Trilogy, but I never liked Grievous. He should have been introduced a lot earlier than the Prequel Trilogy's last film. And Enric Pryde should have been introduced earlier than "THE RISE OF SKYWALKER". It would have made his brief conflict with Hux a lot more believable. I read somewhere that the character of Kylo Ren aka Ben Solo is the most popular in the Sequel Trilogy. I am a firm admirer of actor Adam Driver and I thought he gave a solid performance as Kylo Ren. But . . . the character has never been a favorite of mine. I could complain that Kylo Ren is bad written, but I can honestly say the same about the other major (and minor) characters. Yet for some reason, Lucasfilm, a good number of the STAR WARS and media seemed to think the stars shined on Kylo Ren's ass. I hate it when the glorification of a story or character is unearned and then shoved down the throats of the public. In "THE RISE OF SKYWALKER", Kylo Ren's character arc proved to be just as rushed and full of writing contrivances as his relationship arc in "THE LAST JEDI". Honestly. Unlike Anakin Skywalker in the Original Trilogy, Kylo Ren's redemption was never properly set up in "THE RISE OF SKYWALKER". It merely sprung up in the film's last third act so that Abrams (the unoriginal storyteller that he is) could allow him to mimic his grandfather's arc. Looking back on Kylo Ren's character, he should have continued his arc from the end of "THE LAST JEDI" - as the main villain. Instead, Abrams and Lucasfilm brought back Palpatine so they could have Kylo Ren repeat Anakin's arc and avoid dying as the film's Big Bad. This decision only brought about bad writing. And then we have Poe Dameron. In some ways, Poe proved to be the worst written character in this trilogy. It almost seemed as if Lucasfilm, Abrams and Rian Johnson did not know what to do with him. His death was initially set up in "THE FORCE AWAKENS" and he spent most of that film off-screen, only to make a miraculous re-appearance near the end, with no real explanation how he had survived the crash on Jakku. In "THE LAST JEDI", Johnson had transformed Poe into some hot-headed Latino stereotype, who questioned the decisions of the Resistance's two female leaders - Leia and Admiral Holdo. And "THE RISE OF SKYWALKER" made another revision to Poe's character. The movie revealed that Poe had a past romance with the smuggler Zorri Bliss and was a spice runner (drug smuggler). How quaint. Abrams and Terrio took the only leading character in the Sequel Trilogy portrayed by a Latino actor and transformed him into a drug lord. Where the two writers watching "NARCO" or old reruns of "MIAMI VICE" when they made this decision to Poe's character? God only knows. I do know that in my eyes, this was another mark of racism on Lucasfilm's belt. Speaking of racism . . . what on earth happened to Finn? Following Rian Johnson's shoddy treatment of his character in "THE LAST JEDI", J.J. Abrams had assured the franchise's fans that he would do justice to Finn. And he failed. Spectacularly. Did Finn even have a character arc in "THE RISE OF SKYWALKER"? The former stormtrooper spent most of the film either participating in the search for Palpatine, while keeping one eye on the constantly distracted Rey, like some lovesick puppy. He seemed to lack his own story in this film. "THE RISE OF SKYWALKER" could have provided the perfect opportunity for Lucasfilm to further explore his background as a former stormtrooper. With the creation of Jannah, I thought it would finally happen. Instead, the movie focused more on Jannah's questions about her origins. And Lucasfilm and Abrams wasted the chance to even consider at subplot regarding Finn and the First Order's stormtroopers. Boyega also spent most of the film hinting that he had something important to tell Rey. Many believe he was trying to confess that he loved her. That is because the movie DID NOT allow him to finally make his confession. Even worse, audiences learned that he wanted to confess his suspicions that he might be Force sensitive. And Lucasfilm confirmed this. Why on earth could they NOT confirm Finn's Force sensitivity on film? Why? What was the point in keeping this a secret until AFTER the film's release? I also noticed one other disturbing aspect about Finn . . . or John Boyega. I just discovered that John Boyega had been demoted by Disney Studios and Lucasfilm from leading actor to supporting actor. Only this had happened a lot sooner that I thought. In the studio's Academy Awards campaign for "THE FORCE AWAKENS", it pushed Boyega for a Best Actor nomination. But in both "THE LAST JEDI" and "THE RISE OF SKYWALKER", the studio pushed him for a Best Supporting Actor nomination. Yet, for all three movies, Lucasfilm and Disney also pushed a white actor for Best Actor. They pushed Harrison Ford (along with Boyega) "THE FORCE AWAKENS". They pushed Mark Hamill for Best Actor in "THE LAST JEDI". Yet, both Ford and Hamill were clearly part of the supporting cast. And they pushed Adam Driver for Best Actor for "THE RISE OF SKYWALKER". Hmmmm . . . Driver went from supporting actor to lead actor, while Boyega was demoted from lead actor to supporting actor. A few more notches in Lucasfilm/Disney's racist belt. God, I am sick to my stomach. And poor John Boyega. He was poorly misused by Lucasfilm, Disney Studios, Rian Johnson and J.J. Abrams. As for Rey . . . I am completely over her as a character. Although I found her Mary Sue qualities annoying, I found her arc in "THE RISE OF SKYWALKER" a complete mess. The only good that came from her arc was the fact that Leia had trained her in the ways of the Force for a year. Otherwise, I had to grit my teeth and watch her behave in this chaotic manner throughout the entire film. Every time she and her friends were in the middle of some situation, she would get distracted by Kylo Ren's presence and break away. Why? So she could kill him . . . I guess. Apparently, killing Kylo Ren was more important to her than completing a mission for the Resistance. Why? I have no idea. The movie's narrative never explained this behavior of hers. And it gets worse. Rey eventually learns that she is Palpatine's granddaughter. Granddaughter. Palpatine managed to knock up some woman years ago and conceive a son after he had become Emperor. That son conceived Rey with her mother before dying. Palpatine, who had been alive all of these years, never bothered to get his hands on Rey . . . until this movie. Why? I have no idea. During Rey and Kylo Ren's final duel, she managed to shove her lightsaber blade into his gut. And then she used the Force to heal him. Why? Perhaps she felt guilty for nearly killing him. Who knows? Later, she is killed by Palpatine (who could not make up his mind on whether he wanted her alive or dead) before Kylo Ren Force healed her. And then she planted a big wet kiss on his pucker. Lucasfilm and Disney claimed that the kiss was an act of gratitude on her part. I did not realize that gratitude could be so sexual. Nevertheless, Lucasfilm and Disney ensured that the only leading male that Rey would exchange bodily fluids with was one who shared her white skin. Despite the fact that this . . . man had more or less abused her - mentally and physically - since "THE FORCE AWAKENS". There was no real development that led to this sexual kiss of gratitude. But I guess Disney and Lucasfilm were determined that Rey would not exchange a kiss with the two non-white men. Another notch on Lucasfilm/Disney's racist belt. Oh . . . and by the way, the film or Lucasfilm had established that Rey and Kylo Ren were part of some Force dyad. What is a Force dyad? Two Force-sensitive people who had created a Force bond, making them one in the Force. And this happened because Rey and Kylo Ren were grandchildren of Sith Lords. I have never heard of anything so ludicrous in my life, especially since it was established in "THE LAST JEDI" that Snoke - a creation of Palpatine, by the way - had created their mental bond. How he did that I have no idea. You know what? I could go on and on about "STAR WARS: EPISODE IX - THE RISE OF SKYWALKER". But I now realize it would take a goddamn essay to explain why I dislike this movie so much. I should have realized that J.J. Abrams' promises that he would fix the problems of "STAR WARS: EPISODE VIII - THE LAST JEDI" was worth shit in the wind. He, Chris Terrio, Disney Studios and Lucasfilm only made the Sequel Trilogy worse . . . as if that was possible. Not only was "THE RISE OF SKYWALKER" a waste of my time, so was the entire Sequel Trilogy. And it wasted the acting skills of its talented cast led by Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Oscar Isaac and Adam Driver for so many years. 

[sandeepmaheshwaritips-blog]

Best Motivational Quotes to Overcome Anxiety and Depression

Moving statements and motivational quotes to overcome anxiety and depression have a stunning capacity to change the manner in which we feel about existence. This is the reason I find them so intriguing and significant on our ways to progress.

So what's their mystery?

The manner in which you contemplate yourself, including your convictions and assumptions regarding what is workable for you, decides everything that transpires.

To be successful, you have to use each day as an opportunity to grow, to find purpose in life, to be better, to get a little bit closer to your goals. It might sound like an impossible thing or a lot of work—and with a busy schedule, next to impractical. But the best part is, the more you get the results, the more you’ll want to work hard, the higher you’ll want to reach. So as long as you have the hunger for success, you will always have the power within you to achieve it.

You have full oversight over just a single thing known to mankind — your reasoning – and that is the place inspirational statements come in!

Everybody needs a little motivation now and again.

Regardless of whether you're experiencing a separation, you've recently lost your employment, or you just woke up feeling a little shaky toward the beginning of today—we've all had nowadays.

I've assembled a rundown of probably the best-overcome anxiety and depression quotes so you can begin the year by assuming responsibility for your considerations, thinking emphatically and defining new objectives.

Dont Forget to read the best Dalai Lama Quotes and Sayings to bring a positive change in your life.

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” – Dr. Suess

Motivational and Inspirational Quotes

“I think being in love with life is a key to eternal youth.” —Doug Hutchison

"I’m a success today because I had a friend who believed in me and I didn’t have the heart to let him down.” – Abraham Lincoln

“The purpose of our lives is to be happy.” — Dalai Lama

“Feelings don’t try to kill you, even the painful ones. Anxiety is a feeling grown too large. A feeling grown aggressive and dangerous. You’re responsible for its consequences, you’re responsible for treating it. But…you’re not responsible for causing it. You’re not morally at fault for it. No more than you would be for a tumor.”  ― Patrick Ness, The Rest of Us Just Live Here

“Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” — John Lennon

“Get busy living or get busy dying.” — Stephen King

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” — Mae West

“Not how long, but how well you have lived is the main thing.” — Seneca

“If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

“How can a person deal with anxiety? You might try what one fellow did. He worried so much that he decided to hire someone to do his worrying for him. He found a man who agreed to be his hired worrier for a salary of $200,000 per year. After the man accepted the job, his first question to his boss was, “Where are you going to get $200,000 per year?” To which the man responded, “That’s your worry.”  ― Max Lucado

“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.” —Dolly Parton

“Do all the good you can, for all the people you can, in all the ways you can, as long as you can.” — Hillary Clinton

“Don’t settle for what life gives you; make life better and build something.” — Ashton Kutcher

“Everybody wants to be famous, but nobody wants to do the work. I live by that. You grind hard so you can play hard. At the end of the day, you put all the work in, and eventually it’ll pay off. It could be in a year, it could be in 30 years. Eventually, your hard work will pay off.” — Kevin Hart

“Everything negative – pressure, challenges – is all an opportunity for me to rise.” — Kobe Bryant

“I like criticism. It makes you strong.” — LeBron James

“You never really learn much from hearing yourself speak.” ― George Clooney

“Life imposes things on you that you can’t control, but you still have the choice of how you’re going to live through this.” — Celine Dion

“Life is never easy. There is work to be done and obligations to be met – obligations to truth, to justice, and to liberty.” — John F. Kennedy

“Live for each second without hesitation.” — Elton John

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” — Albert Einstein

“Life is really simple, but men insist on making it complicated.” — Confucius

“Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.” — Helen Keller

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.” — Steve Jobs

“My mama always said, life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” — Forrest Gump

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.”— Lao-Tze

“When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life or the life of another.” — Helen Keller

“The healthiest response to life is joy.” — Deepak Chopra

“Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once.” — Lillian Dickson

“The best portion of a good man’s life is his little nameless, unencumbered acts of kindness and of love.” — Wordsworth

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on.” ― Robert Frost

“Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it.” — Charles Swindoll

“Keep calm and carry on.” — Winston Churchill

“Maybe that’s what life is… a wink of the eye and winking stars.” — Jack Kerouac

“Life is a flower of which love is the honey.” — Victor Hugo

“Keep smiling, because life is a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.” — Marilyn Monroe

“Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.” — Buddha

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.” — Dr. Seuss

“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.” — Mark Twain

“Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny.” — Stephen Hawking

“Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The greatest pleasure of life is love.” — Euripides

“Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be.” — Grandma Moses

“Life’s tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late.” — Benjamin Franklin

“Life is about making an impact, not making an income.” — Kevin Kruse

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan

“Every strike brings me closer to the next home run.” – Babe Ruth

“I’ve spent most of my life and most of my friendships holding my breath and hoping that when people get close enough they won’t leave, and fearing that it’s a matter of time before they figure me out and go.”  ― Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet: Thoughts on Change, Grace, and Learning the Hard Way

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” – Mark Twain

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” – Anais Nin

“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.” – John Lennon

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” – Les Brown

“The whole secret of a successful life is to find out what is one’s destiny to do, and then do it.”– Henry Ford

“In order to write about life first you must live it.”– Ernest Hemingway

“The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything.”– Frank Sinatra

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”– Thomas A. Edison

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”– Albert Einstein

“Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.”– Babe Ruth

“Money and success don’t change people; they merely amplify what is already there.” — Will Smith

“Sing like no one’s listening, love like you’ve never been hurt, dance like nobody’s watching, and live like it’s heaven on earth.” – (Attributed to various sources)

“Curiosity about life in all of its aspects, I think, is still the secret of great creative people.” – Leo Burnett

“Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.”– Soren Kierkegaard

“To venture causes anxiety, but not to venture is to lose one’s self…. And to venture in the highest is precisely to be conscious of one’s self.”   ― Søren Kierkegaard

“The unexamined life is not worth living.” — Socrates

“Turn your wounds into wisdom.” — Oprah Winfrey

“The more you pray, the less you’ll panic. The more you worship, the less you worry. You’ll feel more patient and less pressured.”   ― Rick Warren, The Purpose of Christmas

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.” – Steve Jobs

Thank you for giving your time to read these beautiful inspirational and motivational quotes about anxiety and depression. Stay connected for more.

Source: Best Motivational Quotes to Overcome Anxiety and Depression

[militant-holy-knight]

The Rise of Skywalker Review - I Expected Nothing And Still Got Let Down

Warning: Mild Spoilers Ahead

Before I start the review, I really need to establish where I come from with the sequel trilogy: I actually moderately liked The Force Awakens when I first saw it. I didn’t like several things about it and as time went on, I found more and more problems with it, but I was willing to forgive them to see where the story would go next. I actually didn’t see The Last Jedi on theaters but for a reason not many expect - months before it’s release, I heard Rian Johnson claim JJ Abrams left no plans for the series, I made the decision to not watch it on theaters because I predicted it would have been a disaster. Series written by their seatbelts seldom turn out good, and even then I severely underestimated how bad TLJ would turn out to be for me and ever since then, the sequel series as a whole became completely sour to me. However, I decided to give the movie a chance after seeing the critical backlash against it, primarily by TLJ enamoured critics and see how much of an “apology” it really was.

If judged on it's own merits, Rise of Skywalker is a subpar popcorn flick which contains enough frenetic action to keep you distracted (think of Bayformers). The plot is super convoluted and filled with so much exposition that at one point, my companion asked me why characters are searching for the MacGuffin and to be honest I was unable to answer it because I wasn't too invested in the plot. There are glimpses of character potential but they are never really followed through like Finn (whose erratic character “development” reduced him from potential hero of the series to sidekick) or newcomers Zorin or Jannah (interesting backstories, but nothing compelling done with them).

As conclusion for this particular trilogy, its extremely underwhelming because an entirely new narrative was build from the ground up and few things established way back in TFA get closure. No one can actually convince me that Disney did actually plan this series out ahead and that they weren't making things up as they went along: case in point, Palpatine's return is never explained nor how he acquired this super advanced fleet and soldiers beyond the resources of the First Order (which were alleged to be limited to the Empire, yet somehow manages to build a star system destroying weapon superior to the Death Star). You’d think in a movie so filled with exposition, they would take the time to explain how he managed all of this because it’s kind of an big deal, but they never do - in fact, Palpatine’s return is offscreen before the movie even begins. 

As a part of the Star Wars universe... This could be easily considered as much of an assault on it’s legacy that TLJ was. First and foremost, the Emperor’s very presence in this sequel trilogy is already problematic for rendering Anakin’s sacrifice pointless. That was actually one of the key reasons why the comic series Dark Empire that features an premise eerily similar to this movie’s plot received so much backlash and was allegedly one of the reasons why the original Expanded Universe had to be terminated. That alone is enough reason to be upset, but the movie’s ending actually goes the extra mile.

Despite critics attempts to blame “toxic fans” for forcing Disney to appease them, they hardly went through all that effort - all they did was an attempt to provide closure to the series after the catastrophe left by Rian Johnson, which was an herculean task to manage and one that in hindsight would have ended in failure. Many of the issues with the plot and narrative are the result of trying to fix Johnson’s atrocity and if anything TLJ is more to blame as to why this movie is bad, though it doesn’t entirely excuse it’s issues (like the aforementioned spitting of the OT/PT legacy). And let’s be honest: if Disney really wanted to appease toxic fans, they would have pulled out girls in slave bikinis like in Return of the Jedi in true lowest common denominator like a Michael Bay movie, don’t you think?

I believe that all of this could have been prevented with proper planning. Since TLJ, there have been many shifting narratives about how much did Disney actually plotted out the story from beginning to end - some say this is what Abrams wanted since the beginning (again impossible since Palpatine is never even hinted prior to this), others said Johnson disregarded him and did what he wanted to the point he didn’t even see TFA in order to make his movie, then Kathleen Kennedy claims the making of these movies are difficult because there is no source material (which is not only factually incorrect, but this movie lifts lots of plot elements from the Dark Empire comic like Palpatine being back, having ships of mass destruction in his control and managing to destroy entire fleets by himself - how much do you bet they actually came up with that on their own by accident??). We can only take so many lies. This cannot be the way they wanted the series to end and I am sure that certain people had specific ideas where they would take the series next.

Do I recommend the movie? If you loved the sequel trilogy as a whole, you will be satisfied. If you particularly like TLJ because you think that movie was bold, subversive or important, maybe this movie isn’t for you. I fear that as time goes on, this movie and by extension the sequel trilogy will become more negatively remembered as time goes on due to how much damage it retroactively does to the previous trilogies.

On a closing note, the lesson to be learned is that everyone planning sagas should not write as they go along, nor hand it over to people with no respect for your vision.

P.S.: for months I followed several leaks of the plot and even posted some of them in my blog. One of the reasons I was mostly invested was to check how much the leaks matched with the final product. I gotta say, some of the things ended up being more disappointing than either the spoilers or my own expectations lead it to believe such as the final confrontation. I may write about it blogpost in another time.

[apostatively]

I was homeschooled until third grade, and as an adult looking back on everything now I know I wasn't a neurotypical kid. My first day ever of school, my third grade teacher Mrs. Kennedy (an absolute baller btw) told us to take out a piece of paper and "something to write with" for a small spelling quiz to assess where we were so far. Not realizing that when teachers said that they meant specific paper and a pen or pencil and not to randomly select a steno pad and one of my new pink markers, I was surprised and mortified when Mrs. Kennedy stopped the quiz a few minutes later to tell me that I was "doing well" (my answers were right), but I needed to correct my writing tools, and she didn't resume the quiz until I had them copied down correctly. The kids near me were turned around staring at me, super amused, like I was doing something crazy. It was the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me, and I had no way of seeing it coming. From the first five minutes of my public school career, I was constantly, secretly terrified of messing up again where anyone could see. So I had this learning curve to catch up on socially, and because of that and what I now know to be anxiety I feel like I'll never really know what was really going on in my brain, if I worked so hard to take my cues from everyone around me because I so badly didn't want to stand out in a group, or because I really didn't know how to interact "normally" with other kids and needed to frantically mask to keep up. It's not a question anyone thought to ask me in 1997, and I definitely wasn't speaking up. I do remember always acutely feeling that being at school, being with other kids, was so much easier for *other* kids, and something I was constantly having to mimic, shapeshifting, like I was outside looking on at everyone else (often, at recess, literally) and tap-dancing from day to day. And that was even before fourth grade, before we started learning algebra and whereas math had previously been okay-just-not-as-fun-as-reading, it was now impossible, and just learning let alone the social problems were now an uphill battle. I'm the only one who knows that I was almost constantly bored unless I was making up stories in my head. My little brother was the one who couldn't fake his way through school, so he was the one who got tested for behavioral issues until someone in his high school years finally diagnosed him as ASD (though at that time they still shied away from the "autism" label even though imo he's a dead ringer for it) and I was the one who kept my head down and lived in fear of my teachers and cried in every math class while my own brain heaped abuse on me and doodled in my notebook because time went faster when I drew and it was something I wasn't terrible at, and failed and failed and failed. I grew up and am still, to this day, terrified to ask for anything for myself - I remember my aunt taking us cousins to the Dollar Store and specifically telling us to pick out a toy and standing there, terrified to ask for anything because that would mean I was selfish and wrong and bad, and everybody would turn and look at me and know it, and my aunt would be furious, even though these thoughts were all completely irrational and I grew up in a family that loved us and would never treat us that terribly - but even today kids will run up to their parents with trinkets in my store saying "Can I have this??" and I'll be equally proud of their courage and scared that something bad will happen to them. And I'm sure it didn't stick with her, but I vividly remember walking down the hall to lunch next to Belinda, a short girl with very curly hair who'd been seeking ME out to play with of late, but I didn't know, how could I know unless she told me - so I asked her, "Hey, are we friends?" and she just looked at me strangely and said "Huh?" so I quickly mumbled "Nothing," and kept walking as my brain recorded forever "Okay, so asking questions like that is a no, and also we can't trust anyone to actually like us ever. She probably thought you were crazy, maybe you could have been friends if you hadn't weirded her out and ruined it," etc. etc. etc. The only question I have about getting our future kids tested for developmental disorders or learning issues is "How young is still too young to get a conclusive idea of what's going on for them specifically?" It feels so shitty to just be learning things about yourself in your twenties, from random strangers who have been diagnosed with whatever writing about their own experiences that resonate so strongly you feel like they're talking about you. People shouldn't have over a decade of constant effort met with constant failure before a college professor sees them struggling and randomly suggests they get tested for a learning disability in a specific area. Young adults starting out in life shouldn't have to crash and burn and look at their life absolutely falling apart around them, unable to prevent it, before it occurs to them, "You know, it seems like a lot of people don't have the problems I'm having with these very basic things." I don't intend to coddle or excuse, but if my kids need an extra fifteen minutes to finish a test or to talk with somebody trained who can help them with their problems, they will fucking have it. They're going to at least know what cards they're playing with.

[smokeybrand]

Rise of the Skywalker

This sh*t with Lucasfilm is wild to witness. I’m not really one to buy into entertainment gossip but i am emotionally invested in Star Wars. I’m an Eighties kid, man. Star Wars helped to shape our childhood growing up. Vader is one of my all-time favorite antagonists. Ahsoka has grown to rival him in my heart as a beloved character. As a cat who creates, myself, i can’t help but adore the passion and creativity i n the entire world lore around the Skywalker legend. I mean, look at everything built around those first three films. Just taking Legends into account, you have the absolutely excellent Shadows of the Empire and the Thrawn trilogy. More than that, and probably one of the best game franchises ever realized, you have The Knight of the Old Republic. F*ck, dude, Revan? Nihilus? Bastila? Kreia? HK-47? This is Bioware at it’s finest, save Mass Effect 2. And then Disney cam in and f*cked it all up.

Kathleen Kennedy has been a poison to the franchise, and not because of her identity politics. Look, you can work in your ideals and messages without being so goddamn heavy-handed with it but this chick, and her “writer’s group.” can’t craft a story to save their lives. That’s the problem here. Not Rey or Finn or Poe. Not Holdo or Rose Tico. Not even Snoke. It’s how these characters were presented, it’s how the writing shaped them. I’ve written at length about how Rey was a missed opportunity and, according to the original leaked treatment, that misstep was more like an outright face-plant The Rey that was to grow throughout the Sequel trilogy, culminating in a battle between a fully realized, Jedi Knight Rey and a fully realized Sith Lord Ren, should have been the Last Jedi we got. Instead, we got what we got and it shattered the credibility of the entire franchise. Star Wars, the most successful franchise in cinematic history until the MCU came through, was on life support. Forty years of solid, narrative storytelling, ancillary material, and fan passion, squandered because the chick in charge wanted to instill everything with her identity politics, using something she had no creative credit toward, co-opting the shine of another, to secure her legacy. And she did just that; Kathleen Kennedy was the person who almost killed Star Wars. Kennedy’s legacy of failure, secure. But then, a new hope. Jon Favreau, the progenitor of the MCU, stepped forward and saved Star Wars with his show, The Mandalorian.

John Favreau is a great creator. Dude not only gave us Iron Man, but Chef, Swingers, and Elf. He gets the content but, more than anything, Favreau understands how to craft a goddamn story. He was appointed to The Mandalorian and given creative control by, at the time, CEO of Disney, Bob Iger. Favreau, in partnership with the genius pariah, Dave Filoni, architect of Star Wars: Clone Wars, Rebels, and the best f*cking character created in the modern era, Ahsoka Tano. With theses two at the helm, Mando returned to the true essence of a Star Wars tale. They created their own pocket universe, one with the evolution of the Mandalorian culture and sprinkled with shenanigans of an adorable, and marketable, Baby Yoda. That first season gave us amazing characters like Din Djaran, Cara Dune, Greef Kaga, and Moff Gideon. That first season of Mando saved the franchises and that is not an exaggeration. It felt like Star Wars. The characters were rich and developed. More than anything, the stories told were absolutely excellent. The funny thing about that? Mando isn’t expected to succeed like it did. No, everyone, including Kennedy, thought it was going to fail. She fought, tooth and nail, against what Favreu was trying to created, sabotaging him at every turn. But he was able to complete his show and the fandom received it with utmost fervor, eclipsing anything Kennedy and her idealouges every created. Then season two dropped.

I’m not going to sit her and say that the narrative for Season two was better than the first. It wasn’t. But that’s because season two of The Mandalorian was a love letter to the fans. Favreau and Filoni had a hit on their hands with Mando and, more importantly, they made Star Wars profitable again. This gave the two of them a margin of creative freedom that expanded into something truly marvelous. That second season of Mando was able to dig deep into the lore, introduce fan favorite characters like Ahsoka Tano and Bo-Katan Kreyze, reintroducing Boba Fett while giving him a bad-ass second in Fennec Shand, while expanding the universe for spin-offs and delivery a franchise altering return of a Jedi Knight, Luke Skywalker! Kennedy spent her entire sequel trilogy, discrediting and marginalizing the old trilogy, typified by the complete destruction of Luke in The Last Jedi, only for Mando to overturn, redeem, and empower Luke with a two minute gauntlet of Force awesomeness that rivaled the utter dominance displayed by his father at the end of Rogue One. That tidbit about Vader? Yeah, Kennedy fought against that, too. The Mando came through and proved that fallowing Lucas’ path was the true way of the Star War and Chepek agreed. We now have this entire blueprint of shows birthed from this one season, that will build toward an Avengers-level event. Ahsoka, Rangers of the New Republic, and The Book of Boba Fett will all culminate in a cinematic experience, most likely a theatrical film, based around Thrawn. And, more to the point, people are excited about this sh*t. People are looking forward to this sh*t. People want this sh*t. What they don’t want is more of Kennedy’s politics and bullsh*t hot-takes, masquerading as Star Wars canon. Case in point, the abject failure of The High Republic.

Before Favreau and Filoni came through and saved Star Wars, Kennedy had this entire idea for a full-on Star Wars universe, built upon token diversity and f*cking Space dinosaurs. There was a pitch meeting that showed a literal checklist and story was the third or fourth option. How the f*ck is story not the first thing on the list for an actual narrative you’re writing? Why the f*ck isn’t the Writer’s group, not putting story first, in a narrative they’re constructing by committee? That is the genesis of The High Republic. In the time that Youtube preview hit the fandom with all the force of a wet fart, Mando came through and proved no one wants that sh*t. Then season two came through and rived people want more Luke and more Lucas Star Wars, weeks before The High Republic, the jumping off point for Kennedy’s original vision for “New Star Wars” was supposed to launch. Yeah, that launch ain’t go so well. The High Republic is out, right now, and you can buy it. No one is buying it. They’re all paying for Disney+ memberships to watch Mando sh*t on everything Kennedy has done or will do. Disney announced a whole slate of Star Wars shows and material. One of which is The Acolyte, a spin-off from The High Republic tarring Brie Larson and written by Leslye Headland. The Acolyte is going to bomb for the same reasons The High Republic is bombing; No one wants to be preached to and that’s all these woke, blue hairs, want to do. I know that because they’ve told you as such.

The Force is Female. All of that sh*t with Pablo Hidalgo. The recent controversy of Justina Ireland telling people not to buy The High Republic if they don’t agree with her politics. The fact that Kathleen Kennedy has been trying to get Favreau fired for “sabotaging” her High Republic launch by redeeming Luke and galvanizing the entire fandom. The thing about this, though, is the fact that everything Kennedy has crated, is creatively bankrupt. Everything Favreau and Filoni have built with Mando, has been genuine, organic, and fun. Just to be clear, i actually like Brie Larson. I think she’s an excellent actress with very valid opinions. I think the sh*t she wants to make should be made. I don’t think she should co-opt a long running franchise with decades of lore and a ravenous fandom who are already on the outs with the current management of their beloved franchise. I can’t say i like Headland but i did adore her Netlfix show, Russian Doll. that sh*t was hilarious and dope. I don’t think her type of film making lends itself to Star Wars, however, for he same reason i don’t think Larson should have a show in the fandom either. Having opinions is fine. Installing those opinions in your writing is fine. Installing your opinions in an established property is not fine. You can do that, Back Panther was able to integrate that sh*t successfully, but they did it nuance. It didn’t get clumsy and ridiculous until the end. Kennedy’s writing group started with the awkward preaching. Those weren’t the droids yo were looking for, bro.

Ultimately, The High Republic is going to fail, as will the rest of Kennedy’s Star Wars legacy. Favreau is already working toward altering her most precious OC, Rey Palpatine. There are plans in the works to make her a Kenobi going forward, redeeming the most egregious of Darth Kennedy’s transgressions, something that wouldn’t even be necessary if they had followed the original treatments JJ left for them going forward. Rey Palpatine should have been Rey Skywalker. She should have been Luke’s daughter. She should have been trained by her pops and took that discipline into the final film where she and her cousin would have a proper reckoning. Rey should have been a proper character with an established legacy. Kennedy decided otherwise and in that hubris, she failed. She has failed, not because she is a Femanzi or has an eye toward activism or an agenda to push. Kennedy has failed because she decided to heavy-handedly force those politics down our throats with no nuance or grace, by slighting everything that came before with malicious intent, while bolstering her analogous creations with the worst kind of writing and non-existent development. Favreau succeeded by weaving a compelling tale, that mirrored the Hero’s tale which has been the bread-and-butter of a great Star Wars narrative, filled it with realized characters who became fast fan favorites, staunched in the lore that came before. He respected the genesis and built something great from it, while revering the stuff which came before. Kennedy thought she was bigger than the franchise. Favreau understands he is in service to it. That’s the difference, That’s why Mando is succeeding and The High Republic has been laid low.

[charlotteroseessex-blog]

Intertextuality: In the life of the Kardashians

Writing is one of humankind's most primal methodologies of dissemination of information and communication. Cavemen (and women) used a type of symbolic writing, known as ‘pictographs’, to display drawings of the animals they hunted as well as the ceremonies they would partake in. Despite ‘pictographs’ not entirely embodying the writing we know now, the 40-50,000 BC scripture triggered the movement towards alphabetic interaction.

Moving slightly further ahead in time, the increasing accessibility for reading and writing materials began the evolution of technology. Charles Babbage introduced the world to digitalised media in the early 1800s when he constructed a machine which would solve his problems of calculations in mathematics. The introduction to ‘machine-readable formats’ was, unbeknown to Babbage, the beginning of a globalised phenomenon relied on by millions - but not for the same numeric calculations it was once intended for...

Inventions such as the Smartphone, have broadened our abilities to consume and access information. Since Primary School, I can remember delving into the realms of digital media platforms from as early as 7 years old. Children are brought up with access to phones, iPads and laptops for entertainment, educational and distraction purposes - so nowadays when eating at your favourite restaurant in town, there is no longer an element of shock when spectating a nearby family with children all scrolling and tapping on seperate devices during their meal, due to the normality and natural occurrence of digitalisation. Our exposure to technology is so profuse that even babies are now taken on buses with iPads shoved under their noses, with the latest episode of Peppa Pig, whilst their mum sits scrolling through Facebook.

The point is, we are all so exposed to the instantaneity of devices that we are losing touch with the connectedness and sentimentality with the true mediums of word. Newspaper articles are no longer desired as a tangible purchase because now, with a few taps on a screen, we can receive the latest news updates on our phones or tablets. Subsequently, the purchasing of hardback books are in a general global decline, reporting to have decreased by 3.4% in 2018 defined by the influx of the digital alternative, the Kindle, experiencing sales between 20 to 90 million over the course of the last decade (Amazon). The concept of a technological takeover suggests that consumers are favouring the practical and transportable methods of reading over the traditional process of turning a page.

In addition’, the crave for platforms which require the least effort suggests the presence of a lazy generation. Instead of having to search through a library to find a suitably informative book, the internet has allowed for access to instantaneous facts and figures provided and suggested to you. Google is the most actively used search engine with 3.5 billion searches per day. This method of consuming information outlines a contagious dependency which we ALL rely on for immediate gratification - this is rather than reaching for a book, requiring incomparably more effort to gage the desired information. Through the accessibility to the internet, digital media has allowed for the growth of knowledge and intellect, such as the input of a read-write web. Most apps downloadable on tablets rely on the concept of expression for users to exercise its domains to suit their requirements. For example, Twitter allows for users to post and interact their thoughts and feelings within the conversational networking site, but in some cases, the app may be used by one person as a freedom of speech and for another it could be used for a less self-indulgent platform - like job searching or news articles through the connectivity of a #hashtag. 

In basic terms, we all roam the domains of the internet with different intentions and yet we can all identify with the purpose to either share, support or be inspired by our searched information. The internet is a space for consumption, growth and reflection caused by the involvement we are now provided with when being able to influence online content. The internet provides a variety of input through the ability to share and comment on sites inviting feedback. Despite this being an invitation towards intellectual and challenging conversations made more approachable through online networking and connectedness, it can also be manipulated by critics and trolls seeking to implode judgement on unsuspecting individuals. The freedom of a read-write web has been recently made into a potentially dangerous world of forced judgement and unexplainable hatred by mostly anonymous and fake accounts.

Due to the globalisation of the internet, such outcomes as intertextuality have evolved as a product of the progression in the lack of unique content (often receiving negative backlash). Intertextuality allows for repetition and relational material to be understood as a complimentary embodiment of an original, featuring and interpreting artworks of differentiability or historicality. With the internet now 45 years young, activated in 1969, it is unlikely that the content discoverable nowadays hasn’t been neither influenced nor inspired by anaphoric textuality. This has made public figures less admirable when their work is comparable to previous editions - intentional or not. Cases of intertextuality are common simply due to the earth being old. Bluntly, it is 4.543 billion years old so the assumption that content created nowadays is unique and never been done before, is impossible. The difference is that now - with the permanence of online sources - we can refer to previous postings to consider reconstructions as examples of either intertextuality, the remix culture or just plain copyright.

To demonstrate intertextuality, I feel it’s justifiable to use the Kardashian-Jenner family as a true modernist representation due to their constant presence in the media. The Kardashians are undoubtedly one of the most influential families in the world so therefore impact a lot of online media coverage. With the concept of intertextuality proclaiming as a hot topic in their recent years of fame, certain Kardashian members have demonstrated the extreme reactions provoked when photoshoots and campaigns merely infer historicality. Their gross level of fame make it difficult to decide whether the headlines attached to certain articles are justifiable, like does it provoke the legitimate shock factor? Or is it simply just an opportunistic platform for critics to slander the Kardashians once again for no reason whatsoever? The problems arise when intertextuality is no longer received as a complementation of inspiration, but rather proof of a lack of imagination and injustice to the original structure.

So let’s begin.

Kendall Jenner. Racist? Or just an unfortunate victim of an intertextual failure? Not many of us might recognise her campaign with Pepsi-cola, as it was pulled from tv after only 24 hours due to the outrage and dismay caused amongst the public. The advert saw Kendall abandon her fashion shoot when a protest catches her eye, so randomly decides to approach one of the more attractive police officers by handing him a bottle of Pepsi - as you do. When the advert aired, viewers complained about the uncanny resemblance between the Pepsi ‘Live For Now’ ad and both the Black Lives Matter movement and the 1960 Civil Rights Marches. 

Now, it could be suggested that there isn’t much similarity between the Pepsi campaign and the Civil Rights movement, nor does the peace offering of a Pepsi can hold much resemblance to the marches activated almost 6 decades previous to Jenners acting debut. However, when considering the bigger picture of the intertextual nature of the campaign (almost certainly inspired by the concept of the Civil Rights protests) the influence upon the storyline of the advert is undeniable. Due to the reinvention of the iconic movement which helped shape history for black Americans, it is not surprising that the reception of a supremely white female fixing a protest due to a can of Pepsi infuses an element of mockery within the intertextualisation between the two events. Black Rights campaigners such as Color of Change, an American group that campaigns to “end practices that unfairly hold Black people back,” branding online that Kendall’s actions “appropriated our pain and struggle” which was implied due to the similarity of settings.

I mean, Kendall Jenner might not be a racist and I’m not insinuating that she is but the branding of the Pepsi-cola campaign certainly raises a few eyebrows for what she actually expected to happen after mocking history.

The reception of intertextuality is determined by the viewing public and relies on their interpretations and overall power. Despite the creative process being intended as an aesthetically pleasing representation of an original artwork and rather paying tribute than mocking or redirecting it’s initial intentions, the line between a well received repetition of a construct and one that is not, often hangs in the balance of the finer details. To explore this let’s use the mishaps of another Kardashian.

Here we go again...

Kim Kardashian West. Arguably the most famous Kardashian due to her inability to stay out of the public eye for more than five minutes. She married a famous rap artist and then proceeded to have 3 beautiful children, so it was only a matter of time before she shoved one of them in front of the camera. At the age of 5, North West has already posed alongside Kim as they channelled America’s late First Lady, Jackie Kennedy Onassis, for an interview and magazine shoot. When addressing the influence of Kennedy on the Kardashian, it’s assumptive that Kims desire to imitate a stronger and more desirable individual as the images create relationships and forges likenesses between herself and the First Lady. North West’s inclusion exercises the freedom of intertextuality as the photoshoot takes inspiration from a public figure and aims to deploy an interpretation instead of copying their exact iconic images. The photoshoot of Kim Kardashian West and her daughter embody the relativity between Jackie Kennedy’s appearance but engages intertexualisation when capturing the style of Kennedy through their own style of expression.

When cross-examining the impact of a read-write web and the growing influence of intertextuality, the Kardashian/Kennedy photoshoot demonstrates how it can all go so wrong. When the shoot was published the hype it created was nothing to do with the beauty and charm of the images, but surrounding the Kardashian herself somewhat altering her appearance to match her daughters. It is no surprise when looking at the Kardashian clan, that their figures are not only arguably more curvaceous than your average white woman but also the rapid progression of their hourglass shapes developing unnaturally fast. Despite the obvious bum implants, rib-removal and liposuction of the middle Kardashian, it was her ‘black facing’ that made the internet go crazy and begin to brand the family as ‘culture vultures’. Caused by the accessibility of the public to retweet, share and publish their opinions online, it comes as no surprise that celebrities are at the full front of the darker side of the internet, especially when Tweeters and Facebookers can attach previous slip ups of the same individual to provide a stronger attack through public shaming.

Intertextuality is a factor of which the Kardashian-Jenner family rely on for most of their inspiration. It’s not unusual though. Like many other public figures or influencers, their ideas all derive from something which previously triggered them to create their next clothing line or the storyline behind the lyrics of their new song. Most intertextual pathways for celebrities are financially motivated with the intention to impact the public, whether it be a new trend copied by fans or solely for the purpose of humour. The humour derived most recently, through the use of intertextuality, is Celeste Barber, an Instagram Comedian whose account blew up when she started recreating images of top models to entertain her followers and encourage a new platform of body confidence.

[ourmrmel]

Mel Feller, MPA, MHR. Shares Quotes to Charge the Entrepreneurial Spirit

Mel Feller, MPA, MHR. Shares Quotes to Charge the Entrepreneurial Spirit

 Mel is the President/Founder of Mel Feller Seminars with Coaching for Success 360, Inc. and Mel Feller Coaching.  Mel Feller maintains offices in Texas and in Utah.

  Quotes.  Entrepreneurs are fascinated with them.  They spark our creativity, motivate us to action, and inspire us to greatness. They offer us insights into the spirit behind innovation and genius. In addition, they act as fuel to the fire that burns deep within every true entrepreneur.

  The quotes below are, in Mel Feller’s opinion, some of the best of the best.  They come from authors, poets, inventors, scholars, and entrepreneurs – all legends in their own rights.  So jot them down on Post-it notes and decorate your workspace. Grab red lipstick and write them in sweeping letters across your mirrors.  Pick your favorite and brand it on your…palm.  The right words at the right time can be paramount to your success, so do whatever it takes to keep inspiration nearby.

  “If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.” Jim Rohn, Entrepreneur, Author, Motivational Speaker

  “In life and business, there are two cardinal sins: The first is to act without thought, and the second is to not act at all.” – Carl Icahn, Investor and Entrepreneur

  “Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” Ralph Waldo Emerson, Poet

  “A business has to be involving, it has to be fun, and it has to exercise your creative instincts.” – Richard Branson, Entrepreneur

  “Can anything be sadder than work left unfinished? Yes; work never begun.” – Christina Rossetti, Author

  “Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” Williams Jenning Bryan, Politician and three-time Presidential candidate

  “Watch, listen, and learn. You can’t know it all yourself. Anyone who thinks they do is destined for mediocrity.” – Donald Trump, Business Mogul

  “High expectations are the key to everything.” – Sam Walton, Entrepreneur

  “The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.” – Vidal Sassoon, Entrepreneur

  “Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking.” William Butler Yeats, Poet

  “I know the price of success: dedication, hard work, and an unremitting devotion to the things you want to see happen.” - Frank Lloyd Wright, Architect and Entrepreneur

  “Opportunity is missed by most because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Alva Edison, Inventor and Entrepreneur

  “If you work just for money, you’ll never make it, but if you love what you’re doing and you always put the customer first, success will be yours.” – Ray Kroc, Entrepreneur

  “The secret of success is constancy to purpose.” – Benjamin Disraeli, Author, Politician and Scholar

  “How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone.” – Coco Chanel, Entrepreneur

  “A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him.” - David Brinkley, Newscaster

  “I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite.” – G. K. Chesterton, Author

  “Those who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try nothing and succeed.” Lloyd Jones

  “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.”­ – Michael Jordan, Basketball Legend and Entrepreneur

  “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” - Thomas Alva Edison, Inventor and Entrepreneur

  “Not doing more than the average is what keeps the average down.” - William M. Winans, Clergyman

  “Six essential qualities that are the key to success: Sincerity, personal integrity, humility, courtesy, wisdom, charity.” William Menninger, Entrepreneur

  “My will shall shape the future.  Whether I fail or succeed shall be no one’s doing but my own. I am the force. I can clear any obstacle before me or I can be lost in the maze. My choice. My responsibility. Win or lose; only I hold the key to my destiny.” - Elaine Maxwell, Author

  “It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt, 32nd American President

  “You can’t build a reputation on what you’re going to do.” - Henry Ford, Entrepreneur

  “The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossible — and achieve it, generation after generation.” - Pearl S. Buck, Author

  “It is on our failures that we base a new and different and better success.” – Havelock Ellis, Physician and Author

  “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.” - Goethe

  “With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity.” - Keshavan Nair, Author – Gandhi Biographer

  “To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.” - Anatole France, Poet

  “Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” - T. S. Eliot, Author

  “Some people have thousands of reasons why they cannot do what they want to, when all they need is one reason why they can.” Willis R. Whitney, American Chemist

  “For every failure, there’s an alternative course of action. You just have to find it. When you come to a roadblock, take a detour.” - Mary Kay Ash, Entrepreneur

  “Whether you think you can or you can’t, you are usually right.” -Henry Ford

 “If we did all the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves” -Thomas Edison

  “There is a time in every man’s education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better, for worse, as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till. The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

  “We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment.” Jim Rohn

  “I demolish my bridges behind me… then there is no choice but to move forward.” — Fridtjof Nansen

  “The best way to predict the future is to invent it.” — Alan Kay

  “I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.” — Michelangelo

  “Not everyone who chased the zebra caught it, but he who caught it chased it.” — South African proverb

 “The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” — Walt Disney

  “In my mind, I’ve always been an A-list Hollywood superstar. Y’all just didn’t know yet.” — Will Smith

  “Don’t worry about people stealing your ideas. If it’s original, you’ll have to ram it down their throats.” — Howard Aiken

  “I couldn’t wait for success, so I went ahead without it.” — Jonathan Winters

  “It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.” — Albert Einstein

  “There is no elevator to success. You have to take the stairs.” — Unknown

  “It’s not what you are that holds you back. It’s what you think you’re not.”

- Denis Waitley

  “The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining.”

- John F. Kennedy

  “Coming home from very lonely places, all of us go a little mad: whether from great personal success, or just an all-night drive, we are the sole survivors of a world no one else has ever seen.” - John le Carre

  This one came from a fortune cookie, but it sure is poignant: “Affirm it, visualize it, believe it, and it will actualize itself”  (And if you’re curious, the “Learn Chinese” word on the back is Mian, meaning Inside.)

   “Think it, write it, act on it, stick to the process; count your wins or losses and repeat the process.” This is the whole duty of an entrepreneur. – Ajaero Tony Martins

  “All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them.” – Walt Disney

  “There comes a time in every man’s life, and I’ve had plenty of them.” Casey Stengel

  “Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve!” –Napoleon Hill

  “A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him.” – David Brinkley

  “I demolish my bridges behind me… then there is no choice but to move forward.” — Fridtjof Nansen

  “I celebrate failure – it can temper your character and pave the way for great achievement” -    Kamran Elahian, Serial Entrepreneur

 “It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently.” - Warren Buffett

  “The best way to predict the future is to invent it.” — Alan Kay

  “Be like a postage stamp. Stick to it until you get there.” – Bob Proctor

  “A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him.” – David Brinkley

 “People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.”  - Dale Carnegie

 “Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success.” -Henry Ford

  “Try not to become a man of success but a man of value.” -Albert Einstein

 “Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.” - George Bernard Shaw

  “Watch, listen, and learn. You cannot know it all yourself. Anyone who thinks they do is destined for mediocrity.” – Donald Trump

  “I do not fear failure. I only fear the “slowing up” of the engine inside of me which is pounding, saying, “Keep going, someone must be on top, why not you?”” -General Patton

  “The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all!” – Richard Branson

  “I believe you can train yourself to become a positive thinker, but you must cultivate a desire to develop the skill of setting personal worthy and realistic goals. I am so thoroughly convinced that if we don’t set goals in our life and learn how to master the technique of living to reach our goals, we can reach a ripe old age and look back on our life only to see that we reached but a small part of our full potential. When you learn to master the principle of setting a goal, you will then be able to make a great difference in the results you attain in this life.” -M. Russell Ballard

  “Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it’s yours.”-  Ayn Rand

  “Quality is the best business plan.” -John Lasseter (Pixar Animation Studios Inc.)

  “The critical ingredient is getting off your butt and doing something. It’s as simple as that. A lot of people have ideas, but there are few who decide to do something about them now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. But today. The true entrepreneur is a doer, not a dreamer.”

- Nolan Bushnell, founder of Atari and Chuck E. Cheese’s

  “Innovation is the specific tool of entrepreneurs, the means by which they exploit change as an opportunity for a different business or a different service. It is capable of being presented as a discipline, capable of being learned, capable of being practiced. Entrepreneurs need to search purposefully for the sources of innovation, the changes and their symptoms that indicate opportunities for successful innovation. And they need to know and to apply the principles of successful innovation.”

- Peter F. Drucker, “The Father of Modern Management”

  “BE the change you want to see in the world” - Mahatma Gandhi

  “When you’re born the world rejoice, while you cry. Live life in such a way that when you die the world cry, while you rejoice” – Robin Sharma

  “Your life is your story, what kind of character are you going to be?” - David Archuleta

  “Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Don’t bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself”  - William Faulkner

  “If you believe you can, you probably can. If you believe you won’t, you most assuredly won’t. Belief is the ignition switch that gets you off the launching pad.”  - Denis Waitley

  “Never doubt that a small group of committed people can CHANGE THE WORLD. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has” – Margaret Mead

  “They who laugh at others with dreams have to look at themselves and realize they laugh because they’re too scared to try” -Louie Ortega

  “The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotion, spends himself in a worthy cause; who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who have never tasted victory or defeat.” - Theodore Roosevelt

Mel Feller, MPA, MHR, is a well-known real estate, business consultant, personal development consultant and speaker, specializing in performance, productivity, and profits. Mel is the President/Founder of Mel Feller Seminars with Coaching For Success 360, Inc. and Mel Feller Coaching, a real estate and business specific coaching company. His three books for real estate professionals are systems on how to become an exceptional sales performer. His four books in Business and Government Grants are ways to leverage and increase your business Success in both time and money! His book on Personal Development “Lies that Will Sabotage Your Success”. Mel Feller is in Texas and In Utah.  Currently an MBA Candidate.