#Nintendo you should have hired me I got big ideas

[soul-of-the-hero]

Ngl…highly disappointed mineru’s mech wasn’t a fuckin mecha dragon you pilot by holding on to the horns can you imagine

[the-firebird69]

The Aspark Owl SP600 just hit 272.6mph, becomes world’s fastest EV* | Top Gear

https://www.topgear.com/car-news/electric/aspark-owl-sp600-just-hit-2726mph-becomes-worlds-fastest-ev

We don't want them to sell this because the stupid noises they make. The car is a piece of junk it's not safe for the road or others or themselves and the Nintendo driving around and trying it to to cause fires that's the name of it and we're going to have them arrested for trying to make it I'm not making it what a tiring bunch of jerks I'm going to have them put a warrant sound for almost every scam they're trying right now.

-we must get more aggressive with them I'm putting it up on the board I want everybody to notify me of what they can do to make it more aggressive on these idiots and let me know now I'm asking everybody to do that

-we have a crisis they're going to try and invade our areas others might join them in we need to organize our armies right now and I mean it out there we need to go full military we're going to have to hire security forces and management and hire people out there and a son and daughter said it down in Southern Kentucky into the South we're doing that now and they're surprised as s*** most of the factories are run by then they're telling them to hold off and listening to the max are going to do stuff they're not laughing and they're saying that's funny so they're building like madness and they're working we've got about 200 plants open under 2,000 and these are very large plants soon we will have 1500 opened the last 500 or mega plans in the middle they go down like 200 miles and it was fully securing up the road there's no band between it would be a firewall a fire separator actually were the factories are crap and we can pull all the stuff out and use it elsewhere what do you say is just plow that over and maybe just like a 10 mile section of nothing but it's too it's a buffer zone in case fire starts we're going to go ahead and start doing that it's a really big equipment we need other forests and we're getting help they say it's good. His ideas are pretty good but I know who is that one's coming from and Manning the factories is usually Hera and her medicine is true but he came up with you thanks and they're helping out though which is perfect we need it and we need it now and we need them to pick their favorite factories and open them he wants Pontiac and he wants the Chrysler supercar and even John remillard is asking for it. He wants to also make a special edition Chrysler supercar and he's got to pick who. We have a couple of things going on and they're pretty huge. And yeah our son and daughter are saying the Chrysler supercar will have a special edition and then they'll have special edition with a design package and some upgrades you might use the Rock and we're thinking about it is a personality in these famous now. And we have to make a deal but John remillard would be motivated so you'll probably stop that. We do have a couple things to announce

-the water in Charlotte harbor is getting pretty high it's up over the whole sidewalk at Ashley Park it's about a foot above the high clam. Our son has seen it that way with how the anything happening there's a lot of water for that to happen but it's raining steadily a lot of it is a little to the South and the harbor is true we might be locked out if it continues the next round will bring it to the Peace River but it's not that much runoff a lot of it goes through a whole bunch of tributaries to the ocean we are in a state of emergency here however people are having trouble with their utilities and other we are going to have a problem today perhaps we hope not and we're getting on standby a lot of people are getting on standby and it's the morlock and they're going to get ready to do work and our son says you should probably send some people out to fix things that are going to fail and people know what those are and they do so they're going to do a few of them they're also going to check out the canal here to see if they can drop that down and he said if it goes up to that point what's the point it's already going to flood on this side I couldn't figure that out. A couple more things

-we're noticing people are now going to their drug dealers yeah I'm trying to get explosives and right now and they're seeking it out and a series of movies begin and that would explain James caan and others sorry it's the other guy but with drugs because they don't want the pseudo empire to have that much control and it's happening right now and a son and daughter called it so it makes sense he says this is make sense the other way too I'm not really investigating too much and it says good and we are a couple things but this big so we'll announce it

Thor Freya

Olympus

Zues Hera really okay that's a little bit much big tanks nearby good they go 70 miles an hour they'll close that Gap in a few minutes

[repentantsky]

5 Companies That Have Too Much Hype Around Them

Look, we all love our favorite games with a passion, and to an extent that’s fine, but when that passion becomes obsession and that obsession becomes forgetting our own moral compass for the sake of entertainment, it does feel like it’s gone too far. It’s one thing to love what a company releases, it’s completely another to ignore every problem they’ve ever had. Not all of the companies on this list have done horribly un-ethical things, but they’ve at least been anti-consumer, and the fact that people don’t question that enough has led to them sometimes, making horrible mistakes. I am RepentantSky, I love making lists that trash on things that are popular, and these are 5 companies, that have too much hype around them.

5. Nintendo

Already I can hear people getting angry, and in a way I get it. Nintendo is for many people the place where they either begin to play games, or the place they go to keep on playing them when everything else let’s them down, and of course, they put an end to the flipping video game crash of 1983, and no one else will ever be able to claim that from them. That’s all wonderful, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be critical of them. I’ve talked about a number of things they’ve done wrong before, so let me quickly run down the list of some of their anti-consumer practices. They, charge too much for remasters and ports, they don’t drop prices in games, they used to charge for fixing Joy-Cons and now completely deny it’s a problem for legal reasons, despite everyone pretty much having experienced drift, they haven’t been good at getting stock for their items in at least 20 years, and oh yeah, they sell all the content for a remake for $115 on the 3DS, the system and the fans that helped them get by while the Wii U was massively underperforming, all while handing owners of the, at the time, unproven Switch, free content. Nintendo has a tendency to still think like a toy company, and they even used that idea to present the Nintendo Entertainment System as a toy instead of a console when they first game to the West with it, but they aren’t a toy company, their a gaming company that also sells toys, just like everyone else. I get they’ve done amazing things, I own over 150 physical handheld games from them, and a ton of digital games besides, but when they start charging twice what they are worth for SD cards, while releasing games that absolutely won’t fit on the limited space of the Switch, and they simply don’t care when costumers complain, it’s time to at least question their motives.  

4. Bethesda

Boy I used to really rip on this company back when I posted lists on Facebook, but I haven’t done it in a while, so let’s do it again. Bethesda has absolutely spent at least the last 10 years lying to people, Todd Howard, has become famous for it, but I think I might have been the only person who wasn’t shocked when Fallout 76 was the disaster that it was. There were so many things wrong with that game, that I don’t even have time to go over every little thing, but lying, you know the thing that will get another company on this list very soon, was a big thing they did with the game. They promised at one point that they weren’t ever going to charge for items in the game that gave in-game benefits, and they did, allowing ammo and other items to be bought with real money for a time, they promised new, specialized servers if you paid for a yearly service that was way too expensive, and that wasn’t true because people found proof of things missing from what would have been a freshly made, private server, and there’s no excuse for that, games in early access do that correctly, and they aren’t, at least supposedly, even finished yet. I wish I could say that’s all they’ve done, but they also bullied an indie developer over their game Prey, a game they may have bullied the original developer for so they could get cheaper, but we’ll never know because they refused to comment on that when asked, they also refused to update their outdated game engine for years, which caused something they spent over a decade fixing, games releasing with glitches, some of them game breaking. Yet somehow, they have such a fan base that those who love their games will claim the glitches are just part of the charm. That kind of fierce loyalty led to Fallout 76, and even though we make jokes about it even now, the horse DLC from way back in the day, was an indication of everything they’ve done, including trying to charge for mods made for free, meant to be consumed for free, twice. Bethesda is a bad company and they do not care. 

3. Activision/Blizzard

You know one of the worst things Nintendo does that I didn’t really mention directly in the first entry, is limit the amount of time a product is available, instead of just letting it be there for consumption as long as it’s selling (that was what the toy company reference was about if it wasn’t clear). However, Activision/Blizzard are the Kings of doing this, as they not only limited things while they were in control of Destiny 2 to the point where you pretty much had to use real money to get everything, and never mind everything else they did to it, because we’d be here all day going through it all, but they also don’t support games as a service titles long enough for dedicated fans. Crash Team Racing Nitro fueled, is a prime example of this. People weren’t done with that game, and when fans thought for even a split second that an update was going to come to fix an issue, their hype (mine to) was so explosive, it was almost like we were getting a new game, but then nothing happened, because they didn’t care. A lot of companies that do yearly release titles as a service have this problem and nothing exemplified that more for Activision, than Skylanders, a series originally made off the back of Spyro, who didn’t even wait for a year to release new games, as technically between October 21st and November 20th of the year the first game came out, they released three of them, and I’m not even kidding. Two of them, were mobile games! You might have thought I was going to go after Call of Duty, for this, but that horse has been beaten to ground, somehow, more than Skylanders was. They also, for whatever reason, released each expansion on different generations console generations, at different months throughout Fall, like somehow the season of Fall, they needed a release every month, if not two, and so off they went. I didn’t even get into Blizzard, but all I need to say is “Blitzchung” and all the memories will likely come flooding back. There’s also the fact that in two separate years, after gaining massive profits, they dropped hundreds of employees, and hired more than they’d let go, but I guess that doesn’t really matter to some of you, because when they did it this year, with so little warning, most employees found out via the news articles about it, but we all made such a little stink this time around, it didn’t create any media buzz, so I guess that doesn’t matter, you’d all rather play flipping World of Warcraft, like better MMO’s don’t exist. 

2. CD Projekt Red

I know this one comes off a little more fresh in the mind, and they technically only lied about one game, but man, what a series of lies it was. Also, let’s be honest, one major game, does not a great developer always make. CDPR’s previous two Witcher games did exactly what the author of the books thought they would, and that was almost nothing in terms of making a serious impact, and the reason is, they are kind of bad. They aren’t the worst games out there, but there is a good reason why The Witcher 1 and 2 haven’t been ported and/or remastered, despite how important they are to the story of Witcher 3, and that’s because they both suck. Cyperpunk 2077, was in a lot of ways, them just going back to being the developer they were before, the BIG ONE happened. They lied about nearly everything in regards to the game, including how the main platforms where consumers were going to buy it, were actually running well. I made those references to Witcher 1 and  2 for a reason, although if I’m being honest, they actually look better than Cyberpunk did on day 0, and that’s completely unacceptable. The budget for CDPR was basically nothing for Witcher 1 and 2 combined to what Cyberpunk got, but they were so focused on the PC versions because PC ran the game better, somehow (like maybe because they didn’t try with consoles) and they missed glitches that were so bad, the game felt like it was still in beta, if not alpha upon release. The fact that they’ve only released eleven games in twenty-three years, and only two of them didn’t have The Witcher on them, should have told us all we need to know, and yet the game, even after returns, which was another massive screw-job that led to Cyberpunk being removed from the PlayStation store, still sold Sixteen million units, all because of hype, and because apparently, some people don’t care if they’re lied to. Do you want to know what the other game they released is besides a Witcher title? It was flipping Saints Row 2, a fun game, but also one that’s too goofy for it’s own good, and yet suddenly makes Cyberpunk’s release, make sense, because it was all a massive joke, and a parody of good, well running, open world games. CDPR needs to seriously do something, anything different, and never release a game in this poor of a state ever again.

1. Ubisoft

I put Ubisoft at number one for a damn good reason, and that reason is, that everyone seems to hate the company, but loves their games, and I don’t know why. They haven’t been the overall worst company on this list, although they are pretty bad, but the major problem they have, and have had for at least a decade is that none of their games have any identity, they are literally all the same game, with different coats of paint. Sure, an occasional gem sneaks through like Assassin’s Creed IV, but all of the rest of their games have the same visual style (although ACII does seem to be the base for which they create their art let’s be honest), the shooting mechanics they have in all the games that have guns, all feel exactly the same, which is something even Call of Duty manages to avoid most years (guess I took a shot at them anyways) and yet somehow, someway, I keep seeing people getting excited for their releases, and it doesn’t make any sense. Sure, they throw a celebrity actor in from time to time, and the artistic style they use does look pretty cool, but everything is always the same with them, every single time, no matter what it is, and they still keep making money. It doesn’t really make sense either, because a lot of developers do make games that are very similar feeling, see the Life is Strange team or much as well all loved them, Telltale Games, but at least those titles told extremely interesting stories, and developed their mechanics at least a little, which is something most companies do just on principal, but not Ubisoft. They throw out a few Tom Clancy games every time they talk about what their releasing, the Trials and AC games are still mostly a yearly experience, and I’ll say it again, their entire list of releases since at least 2013, the year the previous generation kicked off, have pretty much all been the same. It would be nice if they made more games like Child of Light, but despite the fact that their games will likely never be as popular as Call of Duty, they keep churning out same-y shooters hoping that one day, maybe just one day, they’ll create their own CoD, and it’s just not gonna happen. The saddest part of all is that when they announce something different, something fans have wanted for years, we get The Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time Remake, which was literally delayed because fans said they wouldn’t buy it unless some actual effort was put into making it, why is this company so popular that it can keep doing this, someone please explain it to me. 

And that’s my list, can you think of any other companies that are too hyped? Let me know in the notes below, hit me up with a follow if you like my content, and give me a reblog, I’d really appreciate it. Have a wonderful life!  

[gaemkyuu]

The Present

Warnings: Mentions of sexual assault/rape, but not overtly descriptive.  A/N: As much as I like writing fluffy pieces or glimpses in time, I really wanted this series to have some sort of progression. A lot of the feelings and emotions that are in this piece was taken from personal experience or the experience of someone close to me. In no way do I claim that all experiences are similar to the one disclosed in this piece of fictional writing. Disclaimer: This is a FICITONAL writing piece on Charlie Gillespie. In no way do I claim or declare that Charlie’s portrayal is accurate to real life. I do however, own Teagan Valencia :)

Masterlist  *now taking requests ;)

The Teagan Valencia Series: The Meeting  / The Fight / The Proposal / The Present / The Recovery / The Future

***Please note that sensitive topics are addressed in the writing and may cause discomfort or trigger readers. If subjects such as non-consensual sexual engagement, rape or sexual assault cause discomfort, please refrain from reading the story.

The Present

“Cut! That’s a wrap on this scene, great job everyone! Let’s break for lunch” Kenny announced to the crew. He smiled at Teagan releasing a big sigh. As awesome as this all was, it could still be tiring!

“You’re doing a great job Kenny. Seriously, I can’t wait for the second season” Teagan gave Kenny a hug from behind his chair.

“I should be giving you a giant hug Teagan!” Kenny stood up from his directing chair, moving his way to Tegan. “Congratulations on your engagement!” He gave her a big bear hug. “Now let me see the ring!” Teagan showed her his hand and he inspected the ring gleefully. Although they had gotten engaged two weeks ago, this was their first week filming and the first time Kenny saw her since the night of the party.

“I told you I had good taste Kenny” Charlie came over and wrapped his arms around my waist, perching his chin on my shoulders.

“Honey, you didn’t pick out the ring, you just picked it up” Teagan joked as Kenny released her hand. Turning to give Charlie a quick playful peck on the lips, Teagan saw the playful smirk kneeing he had a clever come back.

“I’m not talking about the ring, I’m talking about the person” he smirked kissing her back playfully. “Are you joining us for lunch?” His eyes hopeful.

“Well since you can’t leave the set for a birthday lunch, I guess so” she dramatically sighed acting like she was disappointed.

“Hey! I’m taking you out for dinner! Remember? Birthday dinner?” Teagan’s dramatic façade broke and Charlie realized he fell for it. “Sometimes I wonder why you're not the one in front of the camera”.

Charlie kissed her on the cheek and led her to lunch with the rest of the cast. As usual Maddy already had the designated brownie plate that both of them shared from and Savannah was able to join them as she finished in hair and make up. Everyone had a fun time chatting and hanging out at lunch but they had to continue filming. Charlie, Owen and Jeremy had to go get touched up and a new wardrobe on, but he left Teagan in the company of Booboo and Savannah, as Maddy went to go take a nap. 

“Hey Savannah, we are going to need you and Maddi on set soon” the three of them jumped at the sudden interruption from the new Production Assistant. His eyes piercing and intense staring at Teagan. “I’m James the new Production Assistant and you are?”

“I’m Charlie’s fiancé, I’m just visiting him on set today.” Teagan smiled back politely despite feeling uncomfortable under his gaze. She came to understand that this was the new PA that kept coming up in their group chat. It was no secret that a majority of the cast who had interacted with him felt slightly uneasy. Owen had been changing in the wardrobe trailer when he “popped out of nowhere and scared the living shit” out of Owen. Jeremy had been sneaking onto the set to take a nap in Julie’s infamous bed when he found James lurking around in the dim lighting. There were a few other stories that Teagan remembered, but she waved it off as James being misunderstood as he was new to the cast.

“Oh yeah! Sure! I’ll go get Maddi” Savannah stood up quickly getting ready to film.  

“Well ladies, it was a fun lunch, but I’m done on set and need to head over to a photo shoot” Booboo smiled collecting their lunch mess and glancing at his watch. “Which starts in an hour, shit. I better get going. Happy Birthday again Teagan, I wish I could be there tonight!”

“Don’t worry about it Booboo, let’s take a raincheck” Booboo gave her a big hug and waved them goodbye. “Hey I’ll come with you since I’m going to hang out in Charlie’s trailer” she stopped Savannah getting out of her chair too. “As much as I love watching him act, I know he has the Switch in his trailer and I want to play Mario Kart”

Savannah giggled at her friend and the two of them noticed James still standing there. “I’ll go grab Maddi if you want to let Kenny know we are on our way” Savannah smiled at the PA, who simply gave a curt nod, never taking his eyes off of Teagan. The two girls waited until he was no longer in their line of sight before moving towards the trailers. “Between you and me, I heard he’s being let go at the end of the week”

“What? Why?” Savannah looked incredulously at Teagan, shocked at her response. “Okay, I know he’s kinda weird and freaking people out, but what if it’s because he’s new?“

“He was hired last minute because of some pregnancy complications our actual PA Sarah had. She was cleared by the doctor to come and work yesterday, but she won’t be able to be here until the end of the week. We told Kenny we would much rather have her here and not James” Savannah shuddered as she said his name. Teagan didn’t know that he made everyone feel this uncomfortable.

“Who hired him?” She wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt because someone had thought he was a good fit. There must have been some sort of misunderstanding!“

“Netflix kinda threw him in since it was so last minute! He’s from Vancouver, so it made things easier” Savannah shrugged stopping in front of Charlie’s trailer. “Now go relax birthday queen, we’ll come get you in a few hours when we’ve wrapped and we can get ready at my apartment!”. 

Teagan smiled and hugged her friend, entering the trailer shortly after. She was greeted with the familiar scent of pine and cologne, just like Charlie. His trailer was neat, save for the sweater or shirt tossed here or there, and his acoustic guitar propped up against the couch. She opened his fridge pleased to find it stocked with water bottles, knowing well that Charlie mostly drank from his blue hydro flask to reduce the amount of plastic in the environment. After grabbing a bottle, she headed to the couch of the trailer where she plopped down and grabbed his Nintendo switch. She played a couple rounds of Mario Kart, drinking water when she felt a sudden sleepiness descend her. Putting the switch away, she took off her shoes and clothes opting to wear Charlie’s orange hoodie and black sweats for her nap. Glancing at the clock, she realized she had about two hours before they would start wrapping up for the day and thought a little cat nap wouldn’t do any harm. Plus, Savannah knew where she would be in case she didn’t pick up her phone. With that Teagan drifted off to sleep on the couch.

Teagan didn’t expect to wake up on the floor of the trailer with both arms restrained to the leg of the desk. Confused for a moment, she found herself restrained like a hostage in a movie, her hands tied with heavy and thick rope and a cloth restraining her mouth. Looking around, she recognized she was still in Charlie’s trailer and thought this was a cruel joke that her friends were playing on her. To her horror, she realized it wasn’t a prank when she saw James shutting the blinds and locking the trailer. She took a deep breath to scream, but quickly stopped when James noticed that she was awake, unsheathing his pocket knife.

“You're so pretty” he whispered, drawing close so that he was inches away from her face. She watched tensely as his eyes scanned her face with this crazy look in his eyes. “If you scream I will hurt you” he whispered as he untied the cloth muffling her mouth. Teagan was too afraid to say anything as James started to laugh. “You did it James, you got a pretty one” he smacked his head twice dropping the knife by Teagan’s foot. As he paced the trailer muttering to himself, she tried to inch the knife slowly to her with her foot, but this caught her captor’s attention. “Oh no you don’t!” he lunged for the knife as Teagan tried to kick him away, her leg getting nicked in the scuffle.

“Help!” she cried, but was quickly muffled by one hand on her mouth, the other holding the knife pressed up against her throat.

“I told you not to scream!” he yelled at her. Teagan began to cry in fear as she realized the man was mentally unstable and out of control. “Now I don’t trust you!” he gagged her with the cloth that was previously muffling her pulling at her hair in the process. Teagan tensed as he pressed the knife back to her throat. “I’m serious. I will cut you if you scream” he threatened holding her jaw with his free hand, forcing her to look at him. As more tears began to fall from her eyes, he cooed and shushed her hoping that she would stop. “Stop being sad. You aren’t pretty when you’re sad. I can make you happy. Let’s do that!” she trembled as his face lit up as though he had come up with a brilliant idea. He suddenly stood up and smacked his head again, muttering to himself incoherently. Teagan had no idea what to do. If she made a ruckus someone might be able to hear her, but the man in front of her might act on his words. She winced as he bumped the leg that he nicked.

“Did I hurt you? Oh no... Dammit you’ve damaged the merchandise James... You made her ugly! No. no. I can fix it. I can fix it” Teagan watched as he cursed at himself, dropping down to her side, yanking off Charlie’s sweats. The cut wasn’t deep by any means, but it was there and about two inches in length. However, it left Teagan pant less on the floor of the trailer with James staring at her half naked form, hands shaking as he drew nearer to her. Teagan knew what was to come as she struggled against her restraints and he pinned her legs down, approaching parts of her body she only let Charlie touch or see. Tears started to flow freely from her eyes as she protested through her gag, shaking her head no and trying to yell for help. James didn’t care anymore that Teagan had become vocal again, as he was too focused on indulging his own fantasies. Teagan cried out desperately and squeezed her eyes shut, wishing for this whole thing to go away. A banging on the door interrupted both of their thoughts as they froze. James terrified that he had been caught and Teagan hopeful that someone had come to end this. 

“Teags! It’s Owen, open up! You alright in there?” 

Teagan realized this was her only chance to end this and she screamed the loudest Help she could despite being gagged. She was sure Owen wouldn’t be able to make out what she was saying, but the fact that it was a scream would have alerted him to something important. The banging on the door became steady and stronger as if he was trying to break the door down. They could hear him screaming for help and speaking to someone over the phone. Quickly a commotion began to gather outside the trailer and James paled.

“This is all your fault! You stupid bitch! I told you to be quiet” he slapped her hard across the face, a burning sensation residing in her cheek. “You were supposed to be quiet!” he slapped her again on the opposite cheek, but this caused the back of her head to hit the leg of the desk that restrained her hands. A ringing in Teagan’s ears overcame all of her senses and she couldn’t focus on anything else. She felt him roughly cut her restraints and drag her to a standing position, but she couldn’t stand. She felt dizzy and nauseous at the sudden motion as the ringing in her ears started to subside. James held the knife against her throat, his back to the wall waiting for people to break into the trailer.

With a final bang, security was able to bust the door open, two of them filing into the tiny trailer, Owen standing behind them. There was Teagan, a knife being held to her throat, a swollen cheek, her underwear discarded on the floor and the orange hoodie preserving whatever parts of her body that it could. She felt the knife press into her neck as James and the security officers yelled back and forth at one another. She could feel a sharp stinging sensation and warm liquid languidly make its way down her neck. The yelling intensified and so did the pain. Teagan could barely hear Owen’s attempts to comfort her and assure her over the noise. She couldn’t understand what was happening, but James’ body tensed and convulsed, pushing the knife slightly deeper into her for a moment and then collapsing to the floor. In a rush of motion and bodies, the two security officers rushed to James’ shocked body on the floor and Owen rushed to Teagan, quickly untying the pink hoodie that was a part of his costume to help cover her up.

“Teagan! Teagan look at me, are you alright?” Owen’s voice snapped her back to reality as his soft anxious blue eyes searched hers.

“...Owen?” his name came out as a tremble followed by a fresh stream of tears as she lunged into his chest. He caught her and held on to her just as tight as she held onto him. Owen’s heart broke as she held onto him for dear life. He picked her up, never letting her go and moving her out of the trailer as the security guards handled the rest. As Owen exited, the small crowd of castmates and crew that had gathered in the alley gasped at the sight of Owen and Teagan. Savannah rushed over to throw her jacket over her legs to help Owen’s pink hoodie, giving her soft rubs on her back as she sobbed into Owen’s chest.

“Teagan?! Teagan! Oh my god, what the fuck happened?!” Teagan’s face came out of hiding as she heard Charlie’s voice. Their eyes met as Charlie sprinted over to her, pushing people out of the way. Owen quickly handed Teagan to Charlie, both of them crying and Kenny arriving at the scene with Maddi. Sadness befell their faces at the scene, but Kenny quickly took charge and started dispersing the crowds, giving orders to others to help remedy the situation. Teagan sobbed uncontrollably in Charlie’s arms and he offered as much comfort and solace as he could. The paramedics soon arrived and Charlie had no choice but to hand her over to them, but he followed the paramedics to their van with Owen and Savannah in tow.

Along the way, Owen had explained how he had come to find her. It turns out that Owen wasn’t needed for the final shots of the day, so he went to find Teagan before changing. Savannah had mentioned that Teagan had gone to hangout in Charlie’s trailer, so naturally Owen made his way over. He didn’t expect the muffled sounds of desperate screams and cries to intensify as he neared Charlie’s trailer. He knew something was wrong, but the door was locked, and after confirming that she weren’t doing something else, he began to yell for help and try to break the door down. As one team of paramedics checked on Teagan, Kenny asked the other team to check on Owen as he used physical force to break the door down with the security team. Therefore, he wanted to make sure Owen didn’t hurt himself in the adrenaline of it all. The entire time Teagan sat on the stretcher and gurney, covered with a blanket, Charlie held onto her hand tightly. Her tears subsided but everyone could tell she was still shaken. The rest of the cast members who were still on set were escorted to their vehicles and told to return home for the day. Filming had to come to a halt until they were cleared to run again. 

“Mrs. Valencia, I’m going to need you to confirm some details of your assault so we can properly attend to you” the female police officer spoke to Teagan with an apologetic looking female paramedic at her side. “Sir, we are going to have to ask you to let us speak to her privately” 

Charlie kissed her forehead and went to let go of her hand, which Teagan protested.

“No please. He can stay. Please, I need him” her voice initially came out strong and desperate, but fell to a quiet whisper as she finished speaking. The police officer made eye contact with one another and then with Charlie, who returned closer to her side.

“Very well. Mrs. Valencia, did your assailant force any penetration on you?” the police officer got right to the point, staring deeply into Teagan’s eyes. Charlie tensed, preparing himself to hear the answer he didn’t want to hear. Teagan hesitantly shook her head no. “Did he force himself upon you that can be considered sexual assault” she bowed her head, ashamed of what she was admitting, and softly nodded. “I’m sorry Mrs. Valencia, I’m going to need you to tell me a little more than that” the police officer looked at her apologetically, knowing fully that this was a difficult conversation to have. “We need to have a verbal confirmation.”

“It was just his fingers. No kissing or anything more” Teagan whispered, her eyes filling with tears once more. The police officer thanked her and nodded to the paramedic who finished cleaning her cuts and bandaging them up. Charlie held her hand the entire time, rubbing soft circles on her back. After the paramedic was done, she gave the two of them a moment alone.

“I’m so sorry Charlie” Teagan whimpered, crying all over again. She bowed her head in shame and embarrassment, feeling hopeless and defeated.

“Teagan, look at me” and when she refused to lift her head, he placed a finger under her chin to lift it. Teagan looked at his eyes full of determination, anger and conviction. “Don’t you ever apologize for what happened to you.” his voice was stern, unwavering despite the emotions he felt inside. “None of this is your fault. Don’t think for a second that you are responsible in some way shape or form.” His eyes bore an intensity that Teagan only saw when something upset him, in which she couldn’t blame him.

“Do you still love me?” she tried to be strong as she spoke, but her tears got the best of her. Charlie’s eyes suddenly became soft, concerned and worried. She couldn’t bear to look at him as she felt that he may have been disappointed in her.

“Of course I do Teags. Nothing could ever change that.” her tears softly fell down her face as Charlie pulled her in for a tight hug, peppering her with kisses. “I’m so sorry Teags, you must have been so scared” he rubbed her back hoping to provide more comfort and assurance. “I’ll love you no matter what. This doesn’t change anything, Mrs. Gillespie” the last part of his comment made her chuckle through her tears and pull away to look at him. “I can’t promise you and say things are going to be the same from here on out, but I can promise you that I’m not leaving you. Ever.” He had hoped that his eyes conveyed his commitment to her and she confirmed this with a gentle kiss on his lips. Charlie was careful to kiss her back knowing that she was still in pain from the assault.

This was a hurdle that they were going to face together. Teagan knew deep down that this event had caused serious damage and she couldn’t quite come to terms with what happened. However, she knew that Charlie was going to be with her and oddly enough, that was all she needed right now.

[demonfox38]

Okay. Made it through the last season of Netflix's "Castlevania" interpretation. Thoughts are below the cut.

I've often thought of this series as the exploitation version of "Castlevania," and hiring Malcom McDowell confirms that.

Although, I find it hilarious that both Malcolm McDowell and Patrick Stewart have ended up voicing the same character. I'm sure there's a "Star Trek Generations" joke to be made in there, but I'm not Mike Stoklasa.

Also, I was cracking up a bit when Varney's plot twist happened. Mostly, because it came off a bit Skeletor-esque in vocal performance.

Also, also—laughing that the final boss went the "Castlevania: Lament of Innocence" route despite barely touching on that game's plot.

Animation had its ups and downs with this season. It seemed like there were some frame issues (not enough inbetweening.) I do appreciate how they incorporated more of Alucard's SOTN animations into his fights, however.

Additionally, some of the fight scenes' pacing seemed to have issues, particularly regarding weapon recovery.

The whole bit with St. Germain was off. Like, he's a weird asshole in "Castlevania: Curse of Darkness", but he's more of a weird asshole there in the same way that casually encountering "Doctor Who"'s Doctor would also be strange. Not a straight up villainous boob. Kinda makes sense thematically to have another character who is willing to do horrible shit for their lost loved one, but the series honestly did not do a good job establishing her. Like, did she even have a voice actor? Or a name? All I'm saying is it was much easier for outsiders to get the Lisa revenge thing Dracula had going.

Also, how dare you joke about not being deaf and then have a villainous monologue, TV show.

Greta's a good girl. Well, outside of being an occasional homewrecker. Point is, she's competent and trying her best to save people in a bad situation, and anyone having issues with her is not to be trusted in the same way that you don't trust people who don't like Rochelle from "Left 4 Dead 2."

Look at me. Do not trust people who do not like Rochelle from "Left 4 Dead 2." Yes, her writing could have been better, but she's still a viable character. Let people Thunder Child their ships on the rocks of your better self. Got me?

Also, y'all really need to embrace more polyamory. Or understand the fact that Alucard's not going to love just one person in his life. Dude lives to be at least 600 in the game's timeline. For a dude who loves humans, constricting him to just one who may live to be 100 at best is cruel.

There are some interesting philosophical dialogues going on here, but I can see where some people may lose their patience for them. Considering one of Castlevania's most popular memes is a philosophy debate, you're just gonna have to suck that up. My personal favorites included the topic of acting versus reacting, as well as having agency in one's story.

Striga's battle theme was cool, but otherwise, the music was forgettable. Yes, that is a sin. Punishable by Death? In this series, maybe!

The gore's still over the top. Which, okay, fine. There's a bit of that in game. It's just generally a bit more reserved with it or uses it in crucial boss fights.

RIP doggie.

The Targoviste plot's a bit of a wash, but it doesn't feel as useless as Trevor and Sypha's previous plot predicament. It's just nothing of a surprise, considering how many times the writing has played the "authority figures are useless" and "dark secret surprise" tropes in this series. Like, Greta being reliable is actually more surprising than anything with this plot.

I cannot emphasize enough how boring I found Carmilla's interpretation and plot arc. You guys could have had a giant, naked lesbian riding a skull and spewing magic at people while her cat-eared girlfriend jumped them for extra damage. But no. Vanilla lady with a scarlet sword for you. So long. Farewell. Auf Wiedersehen. Good night.  

Gotta say, as much of a deviation from his source character as he is, Isaac really turned out well in this series. He's definitely evidence that you don't always need to stick to source material.

His Abel is fucking sick, dude. Way to go, king.

Also, I was expecting more violence from Hector this season. Oh, well. At least he got a teeny bit of a spine.

Look. I'm not an alchemist by any means. I'm just a bit baffled by this season's emphasis of obtaining a Rebis. Like, any time the game series has talked about the Magnum Opus of Alchemy, it's more been in pursuit of making a Philosopher's Stone (or at the very least, a Crimson Stone, as seen in "Castlevania: Lament of Innocence.") Pulling a Rebis out of the aether is…well. Could have been more interesting than it was. I mean, it was a bit nightmarish, but it really didn't do much.

Sypha's really never getting back to her family, is she?

Love the idea that the cross subweapon is basically a fancy chakram.

GERGOTH. BUDDY. FRIENDO.

Really appreciating the monster variety in these last two seasons. I mean, that's a big selling point of the "Castlevania" games. Not so much vampires standing around and bickering in dick-waving contests.

Breaking out of the bullet points to hit on the big subject of this season—that is, the ending being surprisingly happy.

There's been a lot of shit that's happened over the last few years. Obviously, a pandemic. Konami's run by pricks. Then, there's the situation with the allegations of sexual coercion with Warren Ellis. Additionally, the terrible ending of "Game of Thrones" likely impacted how this season was developed, considering it seemed to be chasing its progression in construction. (I mean, look at Carmilla and Daenerys.) I don't know how many people were happy with the last season of "Castlevania," but from my POV, it double-tapped itself in the foot with the way it pushed simultaneous sex and violence in its last two episodes. My point is, there was little taste for additional darkness, considering everything that has been happening. Society is drained.

A happy ending was what people really wanted. And man, did this pull through, in that regard. But, there's a conversation to be had in if this swerved too far or if it violates some artistic integrity to give people what they want. So, let's have it.

Look. Man. Have you seen a "Castlevania" ending? When you do it right, it's crumbled castles and rainbow-colored skies. If you do it really right, it results in a pretty girl holding the main character's hand. There is happiness in these games. Hope. Forgiveness and redemption. If this is supposed to be any bit an accurate interpretation of these games, it absolutely should end in such a joyful fashion. (Okay, maybe giving Dracula and Lisa a second honeymoon at the end was a bit much, but I get where people would want that.)

Did some items need to be addressed more? Absolutely. Alucard staking people and Hector getting sexually coerced into servitude are some pretty big topics to just wave away. (Oh, shit. That second part is even worse now with what Ellis was allegedly doing, isn't it?) I suppose I'm just glad the series didn't go full Sephiroth with Alucard. And at least Hector finally took some stand in his situation, even if it wasn't the bombastic, hateful revenge I'm used to seeing from this character in other stories.

I think the creators of this series were trying to save this show from the fate of "Game of Thrones." (To some extent, perhaps the "Voltron" re-interpretation as well.) There's so much media out there anymore that if a production team doesn't nail the ending, their creation gets wiped out of the collective consciousness. To that extent, I think the creators were successful in saving their series. Did it do damage to itself in yanking out of its construction and themes? A bit. But, in doing so, it pivoted back to being more like a proper "Castlevania" product. (And of course, by proper, I mean anything ignoring "Lords of Shadows." God, people need to stop chasing other products when developing "Castlevania" stuff and just let the series be as it is.)

I am very curious as to how much of this season was part of an original draft and how much was revised in backlash to everything that has happened. It doesn't seem like Trevor was intended to survive, but to some extent, Sypha had to. (I mean, until she has a kid, anyway. See "Lords of Shadows" series for dickery regarding that.) I'm also wondering if there was more intended for the Carmilla subplot, as much as the series was banging on about her invading locations. I'm not even sure St. Germain was intended to be a villain all along. Getting into a bitchfight with Death? Sure. Doing what he did here? That's a weird arc, dude.

If you come away from my POV with anything, it should be this: GO PLAY THE GAMES.

Do it. Do it, you ghouls. Go to the Steam store and download the "Castlevania Anniversary Collection." Boot up your PS3 or 4 or 18 or whatever and get "Symphony of the Night." Throttle Nintendo's stores until "Aria of Sorrow" or "Dawn of Sorrow" or "Harmony of Dissonance" or whatever rattles out of their moldy pockets. Find a ROM. Find an ISO. Just play a game. Especially, one of the ones made before 2010.

"Castlevania" as a game series isn't about hordes of vampires dick-waving at each other or edgy swearing or being grim and dark. Some of that stuff's there, sure. But, at its core, it's what game developers created when they looked at Universal Monster Movie creations and went "That's cool. Let's fight that!" It's a series about pushing technology in MMC chips to make rich, vibrant music. It's about flourishing artwork and layers of sprites dripping particles and gore onto players. It's sober and goofy and very pro curry.

The thing is, "Castlevania" players have their own unique connection to the series. We're the weirdos you see clapping their hands when a mutilated dinosaur shows up on screen. It's not because the monster alone is cool. It's that we've fought and struggled and bodied that thing through several floors like a goddamn "X-Men: Children of the Atom" stage. It's kicked our asses. We've kicked its ass. We've got a connection to it that you just don't get from passively watching it barf lasers through a computer monitor or TV screen. Like, you know how people go, "Well, the movie wasn't as good as the book?" It's obnoxious, sure. But, those who read the source materials have to go to the effort of constructing their own sets and people to understand what's happening. In a similar fashion, game players build up their own skill set to reach that next rung.

Maybe you don't always get a payout when you invest your resources into something. But, there is a sense of accomplishment, seeing what you can do.

There's a reason this series got an adaptation. I mean, outside of Konami's head executives wanting easy money. "Castlevania" is a fantastic video game series. Has it got a few problems? Oh yeah. Especially after outsourcing and pachislot machines became all the rage. But, there's a reason Simon and Richter Belmont are playable in "Super Smash Bros. Ultimate." There's a reason I spent a significant amount of time playing these games and writing or drawing fanworks for it. These games are wonderful. Beautiful. Difficult, but inspiring. Reasons I will still bang on about them decades years down the road.

When I get exasperated by layers of angst and edge lord content this Netflix series generated, I want you to know why. The roots of this show are good games held captive under poor management. Some people on staff know this. I wish they had more scenario and writing control. But mostly, I don't want to shit on them or their work. (Well, other than perhaps the obvious target.) I just want you to see what I love in these games.

And also to watch Crashervania. Because that's legit.

[someguynamedstevewrites]

Unwanted House Guest: Valentine’s Run - Part 2

Based on characters by @tamarinfrog , @cafe-cardamari , @bottledupcomic , @searching-for-bananaflies , and how many more blogs of theirs?

And the video games Splatoon, Splatoon 2, and Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion by Nintendo.

———————————

About an hour later, at a spawn point on a small boat floating in a sea of dark green water, Arnick materialized out of seemingly thin air. Long distance transport was always a bit disorienting, but Arnick got his balance and sea legs in quick order. He’d done his fair share of salmon runs already (earning enough to keep Tetrox from eating him out of house and home), but it had been a few months since Arnick last took on a Salmon Run job.

“Hey! Welcome back, kid!” came the grizzled voice of Mr. Grizz. Arnick looked over to a small table where a little wooden bear statue with a radio antennae sticking out was sitting. Like everyone else, Arnick had never seen Mr. Grizz first hand, but his voice was unmistakable.

“Good evening, Mr. Grizz,” Arnick replied professionally and politely.

“Surprised to see you here,” said the voice coming from the bear statue, “Last I heard, you and your team just hit the big league! That not working out for you?”

“Hmph,” Arnick huffed but with a half-smile, “I had no idea you followed Turf Wars.”

“Only when some of my best employees are out there playing,” the statue complimented.

“I’m flattered!” Arnick responded with a smile. Mr. Grizz was being awfully nice today. Almost too nice. “But contrary to what you may be thinking, being in the highest echelon of the Professional Turf War League has been nothing short of a smashing success!”

“You don’t say?” questioned the bear (statue), “So what brings you by today?”

“As it so happens, I’m in need of some extra funds to cover some personal expenses,” Arnick explained honestly without going into too much detail, “and doing a few Salmon Runs should get me what I need by the time I need it.”

“I see,” the bear statue said as the person behind the statue thought to themselves. Mr. Grizz remembered the time when Arnick led a Salmon Run team to capture more than 100 Golden Eggs in a single wave. It was one of the most profitable days in the company’s history, so Mr. Grizz had a special task in mind for Arnick today. “In that case, I think I got just the thing!”

“Oh?” Asked Arnick.

“This is a special job that I’ve been saving for when someone...” Mr. Grizz paused briefly to find the right encouraging word, “...talented stopped by. And lucky for me, here you are!”

“You’re much too kind, sir,” Arnick thanked his employer. He knew Mr. Grizz was buttering him up for something, but wasn’t sure what the mysterious voice behind the bear had up its sleeve. Arnick then looked around and realized what was missing from the boat. “It seems my fellow team mates haven’t arrived yet. There wasn’t anything wrong with transmitting them here, was there?”

“Not at all,” said the voice coming from the wood carving, “They’re still back at the changing rooms getting their assigned uniforms.” Arnick was wearing the very same standard issue uniform. It consisted of green rain slick boots, orange overalls, a white T-shirt underneath, green rubber gloves, black suspenders, and a cap with the company logo on the front. But it was something Mr. Grizz said just then that gave Arnick a clue to what the person behind the bear was up to.

“Getting their assigned uniforms?” he asked with a very strong emphasis on the “getting” part. “You don’t mean...?”

A boisterous laugh came through the speaker on the statue. “Sharp as a tack as always! You got it! They’re new hires!”

Arnick felt his heart sink. There were few things in life more frustrating than dealing with rookies. Trying to manage a randomly assigned group that’s fresh on the boat was about as easy as herding Judds. Arnick spoke the first thing that came to his mind which was, “Mr. Grizz, did I do something wrong? Have I upset you in some way!?”

“What!? No!” the bear exclaimed then explained, “Remember that time you and your pals got me a hundred golden eggs?” asked Mr. Grizz, “Back then, you guys worked together like a well-oiled machine. I want to see if you can work that kind of magic again with some fresh faces.”

Arnick did remember, but he also remembered that he was partnered with everyone else in Team Toxic on that day. The only reason they worked so well together was because of all the training and combined experience they had. Arnick raised an eyebrow, “Is this a test?”

“More like a performance evaluation,” the bear (statue) emphasized, “You whip these kids into shape and there’s a nice big bonus in it for yah!”

“Hmm...” Arnick mused to himself with a frown. While working with new recruits would make things more difficult, the potential bonus could be worth the effort. But on the other hand, he only had until midnight to get the funds he needed. Then again, Mr. Grizz wouldn’t be pairing Arnick up with these new recruits unless he thought Arnick could handle it.

Then a small smile began to spread as Arnick’s eyes seemed to sparkle as it dawned on him: this was a LEADERSHIP position! No being bossed around by Belladonna! No mockery from Tetrox! No cold shoulders or dismissals from Cyanthia! Finally, Arnick would be working with people that actually respected him and acknowledged his capability as a leader!

“Alright,” Arnick said confidently after he made up his mind, “But don’t expect me to go easy on them.”

Behind Arnick, the spawn point powered on as the three newbies materialized. Arnick turned around and felt his heart sink even further, all the way to the toes of his feet. His pupils shrunk and a cold sweat broke out over his forehead. He knew being in charge of new recruits would be difficult, but these weren’t just any new recruits...

...they were all Octolings.

Mr. Grizz responded to Arnick over the radio, “I wouldn’t have it any other way!”

...To Be Continued

[aurimeanswind]

Back to Business—Sunday Chats 8-19-18

Okay. So Sunday Chats. How do I do this again? Oh yeah. Writing and whatnot.

Let’s get Started.

The Business Update

So as I’m sure you can tell, if you tuned into Irrational Passions Podcast two nights ago, follow IP on Twitter, or just see the silly shit I do on social media, I’ve been really busy. Sunday Chats has taken that hit, and as I don’t write everyday anymore nor am I writing every Sunday, it’s likely there is no reality I can do these on a weekly basis like I used to. Still, I’d like to work in at least once a month, which is what I have been doing. I know that’s not the pace I was setting back in the heyday of writing everyday, but I’d say I’m generally less stressed and the writing I produce is generally better than it was towards the end of me writing every day. Meaning maybe I made the right choice by decided to put a nice end cap to that journey? Maybe not.

I’ve been far more in a managing role since then, and the thing I do the most now is the thing I love to do the most, host and guest host on podcasts! My podcast output has been up about 300% the last couple months I feel, and that makes me super happy. It’s what I love to do. And with a ton of new shows coming to IP, I’m happy to be a part of them.

So let’s get the update out there. Here are some things we are doing/launching with Irrational Passions that I’m excited about, and I think you should be too!

Irrational Passions Podcast is now on Spotify! So is Input: A Video Games News Show, so if you’re a podcast listener on Spotify, I’ve got great news for you! Get Acquainted should be up there soon too!

Input has officially changed its format to focus on one news story per episode on a more intimate basis. There is still room for more traditionally formatted episodes, but episodes may be coming out faster and more frequently per week, with more focus on single stories and topics. I’m really excited about this change. Give it a listen!

Irrational Passions Presents is a new audio feed coming to podcast services around the globe, that will be home to Article Reads, one off interviews, and maybe other cool little stuff. I’m excited for the possibility it brings, and am stoked to have that out there!

Irrational Passions Video Game Book Club is a new monthly show coming TOMORROW. It launches Monday August 20th with the first part of Batman Arkham Asylum. Each game we will be splitting into three checkpoints, and discussing with varying groups of Irrational Passions members. Scott White has been spearheading and editing this show, and he has done a phenomenal job with it. Shoutout to Scott!

Podcast Ultimate, our Super Smash Bros Ultimate Podcast hosted by Mike Burgess, CONTINUES next week, with episode two all about the recent Smash Direct. We talked for about two and a half hours and it was a blast. Give that a listen on YouTube, which is still currently the only space it is and will be available. Working on possible other options in the near future.

PAX West 2018 is coming up, and much like PAX East 2018, we are coming in FULL FORCE.

I’ll be there, alongside Scott White, Logan Wilkinson and Mike Burgess.

We’ll be rooming with the fine folks from OKBeast.com, and we’ll be doing a crossover podcast with them LIVE on Twitch and YouTube on Friday, August 31st, at 9pm Pacific Daylight Time.

I’ll also be representing Irrational Passions at the Kinda Funny Interwebsite Peer Schneider Cup Tournament or whatever its called in the Hydra Theatre on Saturday September 1st at 7pm PDT. Come see me! Support me! Or just say hi! I am absolutely going to lose, but I’m going to try my best!

So a lot of this is the culmination of things we’ve been working on for a while. The Book Club especially we’ve been working on since February. Everyone is hard at work and CRUSHING it, in addition to the reviews, podcasts, and opinion pieces we will continue to put out. Jurge called this the “IP Direct” on Twitter because this is our Nintendo-direct level of announcements. We’ve been working hard and will continue to do so going forward, and while that may mean we can’t sit and chat EVERY Sunday, I still plan on making time for all of you once a month at least.

A big part of that, as some folks may have seen, is I’ll be soliciting questions for Sunday Chats on Saturdays now. So it’s the same deal outside of that, look for my tweet that has the hashtag #SundayChats in it, just look for it on Saturdays now. It gives me time to get things done and organized a bit easier and faster, and cuts less into my day off now, which will hopefully streamline the process.

That all being said, I’m going to skip game talk this time and go right into...

Questions!

Let’s get to it.

Whoa boy a lot to unpack here. I’ll go one at a time now.

Selfie Saturday has officially become Selfie Sundays. Sorry for the lack of warning all, but selfies aren’t going away anytime soon.

Am I concerned? No. Not after this last direct. You’ll hear me talk about it on this next Podcast Ultimate but for me the new Smash Bros would not be “ultimate” if there wasn’t a story mode in it. And there appears to be one, going off this recent teaser in the direct. I know it’s dumb, but as someone who predominantly plays Smash by himself, it’s honestly super important to me to have that. I think that’ll be new and I think that’ll be really exciting too!

I think as a game they will likely hope to update and support for a while to come, coming out two years into the Switch’s life and I think the Switch will be around for a while to come, that they are just teeing this up to have tons of stuff either in expansions and DLC later, and have as much in the base as it can. Smash fans I think want all the stuff from the previous games, and I think there are plenty of quality of life things that make this new as well. Like, the Wii U game was so good, but missed those QoL improvements that really stopped it from being great. Plus, it was on a platform that no one had. Now everyone has a Switch, and anyone can stop and say “let’s play Smash” and have folk break out the Switch to play Smash at any event or whatever. That’s a big deal. It’s kind of what they wanted the 3DS game to be, but even that version of the game was neutered compared to it’s same-release Wii U counterpart. Now it’s the best of both worlds, it’s a loving culmination of Smash itself and everything that’s made Smash great up until this point, and I’m crazy stoked for it.

So the Filip stuff is tricky. I haven’t really talked about it too much publicly, but the more comes out about it the more upset I get. To be perfectly honest? Yeah. I’m really pissed about it. But me getting angry helps literally no one. I took English and Journalism class super seriously, going through what little college I did. And I’m sure someone like Greg Miller would say the same being someone who went through actual journalistic training, for more than me, plagiarism is super fucked. And Filip built a career on it.

It makes me lose faith in the system of getting hired at a place like IGN. It helps reinforce those things you hear about folk that are hired out that they are just picking from a very specific pool that meet a specific vision for that place. And that hurts me. Because I would like to think and hope the quality of my work and my worth ETHIC above all and anything else, having done all I have done on a weekly basis for almost a decade would be enough. But clearly it isn’t.

But I’d rather not harp on too much about it. I do believe in good karma, and what goes around comes around, and so I will continue to push my positivity out into the world, and hope it does something good for me.

No, I cannot ride a bike. I know it’s crazy, and I know Jacob Bryant has trouble believing it.

The day I decided was the last day I’d try and learn how to ride a bike was the summer when I was maybe six or seven. At the house I grew up in there was this hill near the opening of our drive way. I took the training wheels of my Bike and went to the top of the hill. I said “this is the day. Make or break,” and I got my legs up on the Bike. I was either going to ride down that hill and keep riding, or fail and fall over and give up on riding a Bike for the rest of my life.

I pulled my legs up and....

Well, I immediately fell to the right and scraped up my knee and leg. I didn't even make it down the hill a little bit. I started quietly crying to myself, because I was like, six, took my Bike, put it in the garage, and went inside to play video games.

That was the last time I ever rode a bike.

Listen, so many folks have been coming to me saying how Video Game Book Club took inspiration from their show or whatever JON. One, it wasn’t even my idea. I did have the idea to split each game into three checkpoints.

But my MAIN INSPIRATION for the show was actually Rebel FM’s book club. The only one I heard them do was Dead Space 2, a phenomenal game. I know a lot of video game book clubs exist though, and for example Mike’s big inspiration for his ideas in the club was the GameInformer Book Club. Basically, no one is original.

I have a ton of stuff on Audible that I need to finish listening to. I do not read at all, because I’m awful, so I just listen to books. A couple I really adored and finished earlier this year were the King Killer Chronicles books. The first two in the trilogy are out, and hopefully the third will come out sometime ever in my life. They’re by Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind and A Wise Man’s Fear. Super good. Amazing world building and a huge focus on currency, which I really liked.

I really want to finish Ready Player One, I got about two thirds into it and really liked it. I also grabbed Altered Carbon, the Dark Tower 1, and You’re Never Weird on the Internet, Felicia Day’s autobiography. Those are the ones on my shelf right now.

I’ve been following some of the Tweets. I love it. I’m also going through them again with the Three Best Friends Podcast folks in a Limited Run series they’re doing, featuring: me! All about Kingdom Hearts. The first two episodes should be out now, and they’re crazy fun.

Of those three, I think Birth By Sleep is the clear winner, and it’s really because it is the only “complete game” out of the three. What I mean is there isn’t kind of, revisiting or rehashing in it. 358/2 and Chain of Memories both rely so heavily on the Kingdom Hearts 1 worlds, especially Chain of Memories, while introducing their own stories that are both very good I think, Chain of Memories being the far, far, far better one for me personally, but the repetition in both still hurts it so much.

Birth By Sleep has the issue of revisiting its OWN bullshit like seven times in that game as you play through all three stories, and that sucks, but at least it isn’t something you’ve seen in a Kingdom Hearts game before. While I think the systems in BBS are rough around the edges, later to be better realized in a KH3D or even Kingdom Hearts 3 itself, the character work in that game makes it special. Terra/Ven/Aqua is a story you are AS invested in, if not more so, than the original Sora/Riku/Kairi story. And so it is this very intimate story for fans of the series I think.

That and playing it is just the best. Especially on PS4 where I recently played it. It just feels better with twin stick controls. It’s crazy grind-y if you’re trying to do everything, sure, but all the games are in their own way in that regard.

It’s funny how mechanically KH3D is the best of the handheld attempts at side stories, but it muddles the story the most. It’s a double edged sword, where they kept going until they got it right, and in a way they did irreparable damage to the story along the way because of it.

I really don’t know. I know it’s dumb and little but I’d really love to hit 1000 subscribers on YouTube. Super inspired by the work the OKBeast folks have done with their channel, and basically Mike Burgess has single-handedly turned our YouTube output up a notch. But not just him, he has got Jurge doing video reviews too, and with Scott White’s video talents finally being shown in Book Club, they’re got me inspired to get more work up there again too. It helps especially knowing it’s not just me.

But the big long team goal is outside fo 2018, which is to go to E3 as a team in 2019. That’s the big goal.

Downloading it to my Xbox One now. Hit me up. We’ll play.

That’s the end. That’s it. That’s all she wrote. And by she I mean me, in this case. I’m excited about the future of IP, I’m excited about the stuff we are doing, that I am doing, and while it’s a ton of work and a lot of stress, it’s the stuff I live for. It’s very rewarding hugely in part to the team that is doing it and how we are working together. Stick with us, and I promise we won’t let you down. Please god hopefully, at least.

Do me a favor until then.

keep it real.

[loftyloftyloftyloftylofty]

<rant>

I’ve kept a lot of stuff to myself lately and I’d like to take a quick opportunity to vent and maybe get some feedback from people. If that’s your dig, click the Keep Reading banner below.

Otherwise, I’ll see you again soon with more progress!

I’d like to start this one off by saying thanks.  I appreciate that you’re taking the time to read this.

Lately, I’ve been spending a lot more time working on Cat Story. This isn’t really breaking news, but I think it’s important to mention that I’ve been pushing myself a lot harder.

The effort shows! Or, at least, I feel that it shows. I’ve been doing a better job of maintaining regular weekly updates on Patreon in addition to Tumblr, I’ve been doing a better job of crossposting these updates to Twitter and Facebook, I’ve been doing a better job of being active on Steam. I’ve been taking more opportunities to interact with other gamedevs on Twitter and Tumblr and trying to get out of my protective shell a little bit and make some friends!

With that said, I feel I can still improve a lot in the context of social media, but it’s hard to measure the impact that it’s actually having. I can see reblogs and retweets and shares, but I’m not really sure if all of this stuff is expanding my existing audience or not. I hope that I’m able to share my project with more people by putting more effort into more platforms.

I think that once Cat Story releases, I’ll be able to get a better understanding of how effective each of these platforms will be for communicating with people that play my game. I see other game developers doing it, and I see bigger game companies doing it, but I’ve just got this nagging feeling that putting extra effort into Twitter, Facebook, etc isn’t going to be worth it in the long run and that I could be leveraging that effort in other ways.

I’m curious on thoughts and feedback from other game developers about how much of an impact other social media platforms have had on your reach and your audience.

Thankfully, in the somewhat niche social media market of indie gamedev, the landscape is almost entirely real, living, breathing people. It’s nice to know that the likes, shares, reblogs, etc that I receive are real, and I appreciate the help!

Moving on from social media, I feel that the extra effort I’m putting in really shined through in the latest Patreon demo. I’m really proud of the fact that I released a demo on time with the features I wanted, and was also able to finish off some bonus content and improve the quality of the demo map by a pretty significant margin. I expect each new demo to be leaps and bounds of progress, because I really, really want to finish this project. 

I want to move on. I want to do even bigger things. I want to hire people. I want to run conventions. I want to host tournaments. I want merchandise. I want a brand. I want to be the name in the games industry that is known for doing it right. I want my characters on billboards. I want to collaborate with companies like Nintendo. I want to be one of the people with the resources to do things like dropping huge donations at GDQ or funding and publishing other gamedevs. I want my own MMORPG IP. I want to usurp the E3 stage. I want multi-platform worldwide releases. The list goes on and on and on, and I won’t be satisfied until I’ve accomplished all of it and more.

I’ve said this a lot; Cat Story is the first big step. I want to release Cat Story this year. I’m working my tail off over here to try to make sure that the game releases this year, and to be frank, I’m starting to get a little more than just ‘hung up on it’.

The daily grind of game development has outgrown any pretenses of being a hobby and matured into an aggressive animal of a lifestyle.

Progress every day isn’t optional. Every bit of ground I can gain matters. 

Even on days where I feel worn out or tired or uninspired after work, I refuse to let myself go to bed without knowing that I’ve made some kind of progress on the engine, or finished some pixel art, or sent an email to get in contact with someone, or did some research that’ll help me out later on. Sometimes it’s reading books that helped other developers. Sometimes it’s just reiterating on the same ideas to improve them just a little bit more. Sometimes it’s simply making a list of more stuff that needs to get done so that I have a more concrete starting point when I wake up.

Long term consistency is king. Recently though, I’ve really doubled down on what I expect from myself in terms of maintaning consistency.

It's definitely difficult and demanding to maintain this progress-centric mindset. I feel like I’m sacrificing a whole lot of other opportunities to stay on task, and I’ve been able to justify it so far with the belief that working as hard as I can, every single day, will be enough. 

That’s something of a dangerous mentality to have, right? The idea that the merit of the effort put into a work will be the deciding factor in success? Plenty of garbage is successful simply because there’s an awesome marketing team behind it.

It’s difficult to make any one-size-fits-all statements regarding the success of games, and while it’s undeniable that doing a really good job is helpful, I’m not sure if doing a really good job is going to be enough all by itself. 

To address this, I’ve started reaching out to folks who work in marketing and publishing to get their input and start making friends, so we’ll see how that goes. In the meantime, sometimes I find myself in that weird, melancholy mindset where I wonder if all the effort will be worth it. 

It’s always a gamble though, right? There is no guaranteed, safe way to release the kind of game I want to create. There isn’t a formula for producing these kinds of games that just magically automatically equals success.

I’ve sacrificed a whole lot of stuff for this project.  Friends. Careers. Family ties. Time. 

I’m going to continue working as hard as I can until the project is finished, but I don’t really have any super-effective ways to cope with the fear that I won’t get the momentum I want from the finished product.

The best I’ve been able to come up with is, “If you’re afraid of not being successful, hustle harder.”

So, here I am, slam-dunking my demo stretch goals, partially because I want to do the best I possibly can, and partially because I’m absolutely terrified that if I don’t continue kicking cosmic amounts of ass, I won’t be able to follow my dreams full-time after Cat Story releases.

I don’t want to be part of the nine-to-five status quo grind anymore. 

I don’t want to climb some weird corporate hierarchy in a company that doesn’t belong to me or share my vision of what a company should be.

I don’t want to have to work around a schedule that isn’t in alignment with my own goals. 

I can do better for myself and the only way to do better is to work harder. This is what it takes. It’s hard, but it’s necessary. I have incredibly-ambitious goals and my plan is to work so hard that my dreams, which probably seem completely unrealistic, become clockwork victories. 

...It’s just kinda’ hard to find effective ways to address the fears that come with these really big goals.

So, that’s where I’m at. I’ve probably still got about 3 hours before I need to head to bed for work in the morning, so I’m gonna’ get back to doing the thing.

Thanks again for reading. Hopefully this stuff helps people understand my point of view a little better:

Get back to work. These games aren’t going to make themselves.

[costcohotdogslut]

“Alright, okay! Tik Tok! What do we do, what do we do?” Victoria said, looking into the phone camera that Logan was holding up from his recliner. As he began to test out different filters, Victoria was whipping her hair around and acting real silly. “I’m on Tik Tok! Fuck yeah! WOAHHH!”

Running over behind the chair to see what he had recorded so far, she had to say, this definitely had the possibility to go viral! Not only did she look super cute in it, she was also VERY funny and relatable too!

“Okay, keep it up Logan, we’re doing good so far! Find the disco filter and record me doing the hustle, I think it’ll really make the video!” Victoria squealed, running back into frame and dancing for the camera.

“Uh, yeah.” Logan responded, cringing at how fucking stupid she looked right now. “Think we got enough of… that. Let’s use the golden poop head filter now.”

“Okies! I was hoping we’d use that one!” Victoria said, fixing her hair for the next part of the video and jumping up and down to get herself pumped up. “Tik Tok and you don’t stop!”

Hanging out with Victoria was… a lot. At first, Logan would have preferred to do ANYTHING but spend his Friday night inside 2J recording Victoria make an ass out of herself, but for the past few months, he had gotten pretty lonely, and, well… he wasn’t exactly above associating with her anymore (he was currently in his flop era).

His bestie, Lorde, was currently away on a year long excavation in Antarctica, getting away from the US to reinvent and find herself again in preparation for her next album. He couldn’t even be mad, he knew she needed this right now, plus she was always sending him pictures of the cute little baby seals she had seen during her mountain climbing excursions!

He actually hadn’t heard from her in a while. The last time they spoke was a few weeks ago, and it was when Logan called her in tears to tell her that the local P.F. Changs was going out of business! Where would they get their pot stickers now?! On the other line, however, all he heard in response was someone in the background screaming “Avalanche” along with a bunch of screaming and loud rustling. He got cut off after that and hasn’t been able to call her back since, but he wasn’t going to hold that against her. She probably had bad cell signal over there.

(Last known photo taken of Lorde)

Without Lorde, he could have just hung out with Sabrina instead, but ever since the little feud she found herself in with Olivia Rodrigo, he was avoiding her at all costs! From what he understood, Miss Rodrigo released a song about her ex-boyfriend, and in it, she called Sabrina pretty and iconic and everything she wanted to be in life. Her response? A follow up diss single in which she describes Olivia’s ex-boyfriend raw dogging her every single night, and how she was a stupid little cunt who could try and get under her skin but couldn’t (clearly she could). Not to mention, the guy in question wasn’t even cute enough to be fighting over!

And instead of stopping there, she released her phone number on Twitter and doxxed other personal info about her, leading to a teenage girl being harassed by thousands of Sabrina’s fans. When she told Logan all about this and asked him to show his support for her, he hung up and kinda had to block her number… at least for the mean time. Sabrina was currently the most hated person in America right now, and he did NOT want to associate himself with her.

Speaking of cancelled, Jake had a scandal of his own! People found out that he was publicly registered as part of the republican party and had (unknowingly) voted for Trump two elections in a row. He was a himbo, he literally had no idea what any of that meant or how he even got himself involved in all of that, but being a gorgeous piece of prime man meat was unfortunately not enough to clear his name for the mean time. Which sucked! Usually all he had to do was give a dopey smile and he would be forgiven of literally any wrongdoing he had ever committed.

Luckily, he still had one unproblematic friend left, Charli, but she was currently away overseas and couldn’t hang out with him. Now that Super Nintendo World was open in Universal Studios Japan, the company had decided to hire her to work and perform at the park, standing on top of Peach’s castle next to Toad all day, smiling and waving at all the guests. She had signed on for a year long contract, so it would probably be a while before he saw her again. At least she would come back loaded with all that Nintendo money. Plus she could probably pick him up some Japanese-exclusive Rosalina merch! He already cleared off a shelf in his bedroom for it.

(Charli at Super Nintendo World)

So that left him with… Victoria. And truth be told, it wasn’t the worst thing in the world after all! Sure, she was bridled with scandals of her own, but it was only because of her flippant use of the f-slur. So what? We all said it, it wasn’t even THAT big of a deal.

Plus, the two of them spent most of their time with Dustin, which wasn’t a horrible thing at all! He was so funny and charming and sexy, and he constantly made the two of them laugh.

He had actually moved back into 2J a few months ago, what with the pandemic still going on and him being out of work and needing a place to live (people were spending their money on necessities instead of his plushie subscription box, go figure).

At first, they were a little worried that it would be awkward at first, since him and Kendall had broken up and he would have to live with him again. But they were adults and made it work! Plus, before they were boyfriends, they were best friends, and they would never let that be taken away from them. So they went back to sharing a room, along with a bed, and things were just like they used to be, right down to Dustin going to sleep every night wearing only an undershirt and socks. But like I said, they were mature about the whole thing!

“Where’s my MILK!” Victoria exclaiming, shaking Logan from his thoughts as the brunette recorded herself with a creepy cat filter.

“Okay, I think we got enough material! That was good, right??” Victoria asked out of breath, Logan nodding his head and Dustin shrugging his shoulders.

“Uh huh. Let me upload it.” Logan replied, Victoria excitedly throwing herself onto the couch next to Dustin.

“AAAHHH! I’m so excited! I just KNOW this is gonna make the for you page! Quick, get out your phone Dustin and keep refreshing until you see it on yours.” Victoria said, Dustin reluctantly doing as he was told.

“I just refreshed like, 10 times, and nothing.” Dustin replied, Victoria snatching the phone out of his hand and seeing that the top result was a video of Theodore from Alvin and the Chipmunks jumping off a skyscraper.

“Fuck! Okay, let’s just give it a few minutes, maybe it’s just making it’s rounds.” Victoria said, jumping up and pacing around the room. “Let me think, what’s viral right now… got it! Give me a second guys, I have to go grab something.”

Scurrying away to her room, Dustin and Logan were left alone in the living room, Dustin clearing his throat while Logan scratched his head. Ever since Dustin was back in 2J, there had been a bit of… sexual tension between the two of them. Okay well they had actually fucked a whole bunch of times since then, and were going to continue to do so, but neither one had discussed what it meant for their relationship now. And before either one of them could, Victoria came running with a boombox and different props, throwing them down on the floor with a loud that caused Logan Jr. to stir. She currently had a migraine and was laying in her bed with a blanket and dark sunglasses thrown over her.

“Victoria, come on, what is all of this…” Logan asked, watching as Victoria decorated the room and threw a stupid wig on her head.

“I’m gonna post a dance challenge! People love them! I think THIS might be what pushes me to the top!” Victoria replied.

“Sure, but maybe you should-“ Logan said before Victoria loudly shushed him.

“Trust me! Dustin, press the power button, and Logan, get ready to record.” With a sigh, Dustin pressed the button, as the Harlem Shake started playing.

“What up Tik Tok! It’s your girl V-Dawg coming at you with another video! Duet this with your reactions, or show me your own dance!” Victoria exclaimed, and just as the beat dropped, she was wiggling around the living room and jumping around. “Come on guys, you’re supposed to be dancing with me!” Victoria said in a loud whisper as the two of them watched in horror/sadness at how stupid she looked.

At this point it truly dawned on them that with the way she carried herself online and the type of “humor” she used in her videos, she was still stuck in 2013. Which made sense, seeing as how this was when she had peaked.

“Are you guys doing the Harlem Shake? OMG! I wanna join!” Kendall said, duffle bag slung over his shoulder and a big smile plastered on his face.

As Dustin and Logan looked at each other, they realized Kendall was stuck in 2013 too, which… was also when he had peaked.

“God DAMMIT! Kendall! You fucked up the video! That fucking beak of yours blocked the camera!” Victoria yelled, Kendall automatically getting defensive.

“What? How? I’m literally standing behind you?” Kendall replied, Victoria throwing her wig across the room and pointing an accusatory finger at him.

“Well either way you ruined the video! I was going to go viral!” Victoria yelled, mumbling something that sounded like a quite familiar slur under her breath.

Still holding up the phone and realizing he had recorded the entire thing, Logan quickly uploaded the video to Tik Tok. If Victoria wanted to go viral, she was definitely going to tonight.

“Whatever. What’s with the bag.” Victoria said, anger suppressing as she changed the subject.

“Oh. Well… I’m actually spending the night with my… boyfriend!!! >~< He invited me over, and he’s even making dinner! Well, we both are, he said he’s going to start as soon as I get there.” Kendall said, beaming as the other three looked at him in surprise/confusion/disbelief.

“Boyfriend?? Sure, Kendall.” Logan said.

“Noooo, it’s true! He’s super cute, and successful! You’ve probably heard of him!” Kendall responded, as the three of them all gave each other a knowing glance.

“Do we now? Who is it?” Dustin asked.

“Well… it’s Armie Hammer! From Call Me By Your Name, Arrested Development, a bunch of other things. We really clicked!” Kendall said.

After a moment of silence, the three of them broke into a fit of hysterical laughter, Victoria screaming that she was about to piss herself and Dustin taking a hit of his inhaler.

“HOW DID YOU TWO MEET?!” Victoria asked, trying to catch her breath from all the cackling.

“Well, we met last weekend at Whole Foods.” Kendall explained. “I was grabbing the last carton of oat milk, and he was reaching for it too. I tried to be polite and told him to go ahead and take it, but he smiled and told me it was all mine, and he looked me up and down and… well… he said he saw something even tastier!” Kendall said with a smile, fondly thinking about that moment the two of them shared.

“And let me guess, everyone in the building cheered?” Dustin asked with fake interest and sincerity, causing the three of them to roll around all over the couch.

“Yeah yeah, keep laughing, I know you’re all just jealous that I have a super hot a-list boyfriend!” Kendall said, the laughter that had started to die down now picking back up again.

“Yeah? Just like your super hot a-list boyfriend Paul Rudd?!” Logan screamed, Kendall’s face turning sour as they made a mockery of him.

“Okay well that was… different. I’ll show you guys who’s telling the truth, I’ll ask him to come over HERE next time for dinner!” Kendall said.

“Sure Kendall! Tell him to bring Henry Cavil with him too!” Victoria responded, wiping a tear from her eye.

“Oh! Henry’s actually his best friend! He’s supposed to be at the sleepover, too!” Kendall earnestly said, met by an even louder chorus of hysterical screaming and laughter.

“Whatever. I’m gonna head out now. I’ll see you later.. whores.” Kendall said, cringing at his attempt to be cooler than them.

As Kendall slammed the door behind him, the three of them were finally able to regain their composure. They didn’t WANT to treat Kendall like a laughing stock, truly, but he really just made it so, SO easy.

Unbeknownst to them, though, it would be Kendall who was getting the last laugh.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: The next part of the fic would be Kendall meeting Armie’s celebrity friends! And later on inviting him over for dinner and introducing himself to Logan, Dustin, and Victoria!

[queennicoleinboots]

The Office Got Fucked Up, part 5 (Count Macrula POV)

The title of this story was supposed to be "Office Woes, part 5," but it wouldn't be enough to cover the absolute insanity that happened in this account. So, it is called "The Office Got Fucked Up, part 5." in the viewpoint of Count Macrula.

I returned to the office to find it burning in flames. I blinked and realized the irony of this situation. Last time I checked, I assumed we were in league with the Gwinnett County Fire Department.

"Why is my office on fire?" I asked before having a full-on 15-minute laughing fit. I then decided to fly in the air, unzip my black slacks, and rain vampire lord urine on the building. It turns out that I had to urinate like a horse of the apocalypse, so my urination quenched those unholy flames.

I zipped up my black slacks and then flew down into the ashen building.

"This is my hoooooooommmmmeeeee!!!!" I shouted on baritone opera that astounded the heavens.

Nathan Explosion from Metalocalypse started riding his motorcycle through the building and starting screaming, "Awaken Awaken Awaken Awaken! Take the land that must be taken!"

"The time has come. To Awaken Him," I spoke in a death metal voice.

"Musta-krakish! Musta-krakish! Musta-krakish!" Nathan Explosion chanted.

"I call upon the ancient lords of the underworld," I spoke in a death metal voice.

"Musta-krakish!" Nathan Explosion chanted.

"To bring forth this beast and-" I started to say in a death metal voice.

"Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken

Take the land, that must be taken

Awaken, awaken, awaken, awaken

Devour worlds, smite forsaken

Rise up from your thousand year-old sleep

Break forth from your grave eternally

I command you to rise, rise, rise, rise

Rise, rise, rise, rise

I'm the conjurer of demons

I'm the father of your death

I bring forth the ancient evil

I control his every breath

I instigate your misfortune

With the birth of killing trolls

I awaken armageddon

Feeding on a thousand souls

Awaken

Awaken

Awaken

Awaken

Awaken Awaken Awaken Awaken! Take the land that must be taken!" Nathan Explosion and I growled.

A full version of Nathan Explosion's and my duet can be found here: https://youtu.be/PcICrqowVkc

I then screamed as I mimicked Nathan Explosion, "I COMMAND YOU TO RISE!!! RISE!!!!! RISE!!! RISE!!!!" Then I said in my normal Count Macrula voice, "And awaken!"

Oh shit. I just rose the dead and brought forth a Kraken to destroy Gwinnett County. At least I know how to start a riot. The FBI will shit their pants when they see this. The riots on Capitol Hill and on Georgia's Capitol building were pathetic and pointless. 'Trumpanzees' was the correct word to describe that nonsense. I will rain dark shit on them, and my fruit will be zombies with death ray eyes.

One of those zombies was my ex-co-worker Christoff. He was a good worker one time, and then he got caught into too many accidents near I-85. Once he was traumatized from literally being a target of every disgruntled driver in Gwinnett County, he began to become disgruntled at the job. He was opening tickets instead of closing them. Needless to say, I developed laryngitis every day up to the time of his death. One would think I killed him out of frustration, but actually Ahayah struck him down just because he was so goddamn stupid.

I was traumatized seeing him again, so FOR NOW ON, THIS STORY WILL BE IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE LARYNGITIS, HERE I COME!

"THIS IS BULLSHIT!!!!!" I SHOUTED. I LAUGHED HYSTERICALLY.

"BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! THIS IS THE LAND, THAT IS PURE BULLSHIT!" NATHAN EXPLOSION AND I SANG TOGETHER.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!" MELISSA THE GREAT ARC ANGEL ASKED AS SHE FLEW DOWN. "I WENT ON LUNCH BREAK, AND THE OFFICE IS BURNED DOWN AND THE DEAD HAVE RISEN!!! AND WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?! YOUR HAIR LOOKS LIKE HOSS DELGATO'S FROM THE GRIM ADVENTURES OF BILLY AND MANDY!"

(I am going to pause ALL CAPS for a minute and explain that while flying through an existential time warp to get to the ruined Gwinnet County Riot Station 32, my hair had grown slightly past my shoulders and turned the color of hot blood from simply... being sick of working.)

"I BLAME ANTIFA AND PROUD BOYS!!!! AND.... come to think of it, I have no idea. I was Michael the Great Arc Angel after I was the Grim Reaper Named Mike. Then I was Count Macrula from October 2020 and was stuck in the freezer called the office. And now that I grew red hair, I am not sure. A lot has changed in the past year," I said thoughtfully as I stared at Melissa the Great Arc Angel.

"WHO ROSE THE DEAD!? YOU, ANTIFA, THE PROUD BOYS, BLACK LIVES MATTER, BEAR LIVES MATTER, DONALD TRUMP, JOSEPH BIDEN, OR NATHAN EXPLOSION? THESE ARE THINGS I MUST KNOW" MELISSA THE GREAT ARC ANGEL SHOUTED BEFORE HER VOICE WAS NORMAL. "Well, I am glad you decided to grow hair after 750 years. I have waited forever for this moment. Thank you, ...." Then she yelled again. "WHAT DO I CALL YOU?!"

"NO! NATHAN EXPLOSION AND I DID THAT!!!" I SHOUTED. "I EVEN BROUGHT CRISTOFF BACK TO LIFE! AND MACRULA IS TRANSYLVANIAN FOR MACRO, WHICH MEANS LARGE. MACRULA IT IS! THANK YOU, NATHAN EXPLOSION!" I SHOUTED TO THE HEAVENS.

"THAT'S GREAT! YOU OPENED UP 100,000,087 TICKETS!" MELISSA THE GREAT ARC ANGEL SHOUTED. "I'M SORRY. YOU CLEARING UP THE REASON FOR YOUR IDENTITY CHANGE MAKES THAT 100,000,086 TICKETS. AT LEAST YOU ARE NOT BUYING INTO GENDER REASSIGNMENT."

"IT WAS THE WILL OF THE POWERS THAT BE! I'M SORRY!!!" I SHOUTED. "AND TACO MAC WITH COUNT MACULA, JR. AND ME WAS NECESSARY! ALSO, I AM PROUD OF MY MASCULINITY. AMERICA, PLEASE STOP SHAMING MEN FOR BEING MEN. THIS WAS UNHEARD OF UNTIL ABOUT 50 YEARS AGO."

THE CAST OF PEEWEE HERMAN SCREAMED LIKE HELL. THEY WORE ZOMBIE MASKS.

"ARE YOU REALLY BETTER THAN CHRISTOFF!?" MELISSA THE GREAT ARC ANGEL SHOUTED.

WE ARE DISCUSSING TICKETS AT WORK, AND ZOMBIE ARMIES ARE RIOTING IN THE STREETS OF GWINNETT COUNTY. MELISSA THE GREAT ARC ANGEL'S PRIORITIES ARE A BIT OFF, BUT SO IS EVERYTHING ELSE. FUCK IT. I'M SICK OF WORKING! WHO KNOWS HOW MANY BUILDINGS THEY SET ON FIRE IN THE PROCESS? MORTAL RIOTS KNOW NOTHING.

"YES! BECAUSE WE NEED TO DESTROY THEM ONCE AND FOR ALL!!" I SHOUTED AS I FLEW OUT OF THE BURNT BUILDING. A PART OF THE ROOF FELL DOWN. I SLAYED THE DEAD AND SHOT DEATH RAYS AT THEM. SOME SHOT DEATH RAYS BACK, BUT I DODGED THEM.

ACTUALLY, LOWER CASE IS NECESSARY ALL OF A SUDDEN.

"Excuse me, sir. Were you formerly Michael the Great Arc Angel?" a goat who was driving a gray Gwinnett County Service jeep asked. "Where did the hair coooome from?"

"Yes," I responded. "And that is even a mystery to me. I guess hair follicles grow when you enter an existential time warp."

"Hoooollllyyyyy Shiiiiiiit. Swamp Business, part 2 is occurring in Gwinnett County Fire Station 32. Can you assist us?" the terrified goat asked us. He bleated in fright.

"Is this story supposed to be called "Office Woes, part 5 or Swamp Business, part 2? Because I think at this point it should be called The Office Got Fucked Up." I said as I blinked with my icy blue eyes.

The goat bleated.

"HOW ABOUT MICHAEL, EXCUSE ME, MACRULA THE GREAT IDIOT SUMMONED THE UNDEAD BECAUSE HE HAD A MOMENT OF DARKNESS, PART 4?!" Melissa the Great Arc Angel shouted.

She was correct. I have summoned the undead three previous times. One was when I worked for the Angel of Death as a grim reaper under the identity of The Grim Reaper Named Mike. I had a Jamaican accent then before it was considered racist. Everything is racist now, but I digress. The second time was during Halloween of 2007 when I summoned real zombies to haunt Norcross, Georgia. And the third time was during the Ferguson riots in 2013 when I summoned Nazi zombies to scare the protestors.

"Will that title fit?" I asked.

The zombies just stared at us. One shot lasers through his eyes at a pig that happened to be there. Someone's having barbecue pork for lunch.

At that point, I looked around and then had a laughing fit that was disguising the mental breakdown I was having. My mortality was real.

--------------------------------------------------

Crickets with angel wings, winged zombies, bats, and locusts with human faces of those who burned in hell were flying around Gwinnett and surrounding counties for an hour. Hell truly was unleashed upon the Earth. Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones were having a field day taking asses and kicking names.

--------------------------------------------------

"WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?!" Melissa the Great Arc Angel asked.

A group of pigs came back to the office before they saw zombies walking toward them with open tickets.

"Ahhhh hell nah!" the thinner pig from the break room scene in Office Woes, part 3 (?) said.

"Man, you crazy for making me work in this kind of environment!" a big black female pig said.

The pigs oinked.

"IT'S YO JOB! GET ON THE PHONE AND ANSWER DIS BITCH!" I SHOUTED.

"Boy, is you crazy? They zombies in there!" A fat pig said as she put her elbow on the window ledge of the passenger seat and looked at me with big bugged out eyes. "You look like damn Alucard from the Castlevania series on Super Nintendo, bruh! What happened to you?"

When I heard "Boy," I immediately set the car they were in on fire with my eye rays. I was going for roasted pork, but apparently, I had to wait.

The Apparently Kid from Youtube yelled "APPARENTLY!" at the other kid who looked like a zombie and liked turtles. YouTube and children make a funny combo. They are much more interesting than arguing with a bunch of big female pigs that only Gwinnett County had the AUDACITY to hire.

"Okay! Okay! Okay!" the pigs said as they squeezed out of the car and went to their desks. "Excuse me! Excuse me!" They shouted at the zombies.

One of the zombies bit the biggest pig on the ass.

I whispered to the goat, "All we need is barbeque sauce."

The goat laughed. "Exactly! Are you ready for Swamp Business, part 2? Gwinnett County Fire Station 32 is in some deep shit right now."

"I KNOW THEY BE ZOMBIES WALKING ROUND YOUR HOUSE!!! They walking around our office. One just ate a goat for real... I DON'T KNOW. Read the Bible OUT LOUD or somedin," one of the pigs said over the phone as she bobbed her head back and forth. She looked like a bobble head toy that sits on the dash of the car. The pigs Gwinnett County hires, I swear. I need a new position ASAP.

I looked at the goat and said, "Hell no. I was recently at the STUPIDEST party and got stuck in a freezer for a few months prior because the office put me there, and I haven't recovered from the mental stress and agony of GROCERY shopping in 2020! I'm just being honest." I laughed so hard. Holy Shit I'm almost human at this point...maybe. I flapped my black wings to validate my existence as a dark angel. This Earth is too much. I wonder how my parents remained the angels they were. My dad was a human before my parents met.

--------------------------------------------------

I stepped out of the story and into a faded black backdrop scene to destroy the fourth wall. I used my sword and hacked and slashed for ten seconds before I composed myself.

"Number 1, Section C, Subsection 1a, Clause 43: Never, never, never make parents main or even minor characters in stories unless they have one line or less. Unless the stories fall under a sub category of Clause 44, which states, "This story is relevant to certain kinks which require parenthood or a parent ROLE. DDLG and ABDL to name a few." OR Subsection 1b, Clause 27: THEY ARE OFF THE RECORD!" I spoke before taking a breath. "I WILL NOT PARTAKE IN THOSE STORIES!!!! EVER!!!!... And if I do, they will be off the record." I smiled a huge smile.

With that note, I returned to the story after a giant rule book fell from the heavens and squashed me.

--------------------------------------------------

I saw Melissa the Great Arc Angel organizing the zombies into a "Zombie Lives Matter" riot, call it what it is, and marching toward Martin Luther King Boulevard and Ponce De Leon Avenue while shouting "Braaaaaains." Yes, Georgia, you need brains. And I need to get the fuck out of Georgia. She played Latin American music as she and the zombies marched and danced.

The goat waited for me. "Have you composed yourself?"

"Yeah. These crazy angels made me work in a burntass building with zombies. Thank GAAHHDD, the female crazy angel organized the zombies into a riot to go to downtown Atlanta. This be cray! The FBI gonna have they hands full with that!.... Mhhhhhmmmm!!! Russia and China got plenty o'time to come up in here and starting takin' over shit. These motha fuckas in this country be stupid as hell man!" a thinner pig said over the phone as she bobbed her head and laughed loudly.

She had a point. I'm letting the FBI deal with that shit. Fuck all of that.

"Hang on, goat. I have not fully composed myself," I said as I went to the burnt ashes that used to be my office. I sang an angelic song about resigning from this God-Forsaken job to the Heavens.

The face of Ahayah shown through the clouds. He spoke in a language that only angels and very few humans knew. He said something that could be roughly translated as, "Duly noted."

A horde of zombies started eating the flesh of one of the goat secretaries.

She screamed and bleated, "I SHOULD HAVE QUIT MY JOB LAST WEEK WHEN I HAD THE CHAAAAAAANCE!" Her hooves were in the air, and she was begging Ahayah to take her soul to heaven with him.

He took her soul to Heaven. Fly on, great goat woman. Her soul bleated in happiness, and she turned into a lamb. The lamb bleated and galloped up in the sky to Ahayah.

One zombie hobbled over with the bottle of barbecue sauce I kept in the fridge for moments like this. He poured some on the goat flesh. One zombie literally began to eat her pussy. Necrophilia at its finest. Welcome to the office.

The swamp from Gwinnett County Fire Station 32 swallowed our office building after the zombies finished eating her flesh, and we entered "Doing Business As Swamp Business."

--------------------------------------------------

King Joebear growled and was eating a large barbecue chicken leg. That big black bear was wearing a crown. Xara walked in the woods naked.

Should I have averted my eyes?

Zombies were walking behind her before they gang-banged her.

I guess not.

There were days I wanted to violate her temple as much as they wanted to. I never had my chance. I shall never. There is too much off-the-record material to explain my reasons. I was in a freezer, but I was not frozen. The series that will never be written: Frozen: The Non-Disney Adventures of Count Macrula and His Lengthy Visit to Hotel Transylvania in Wintertime.

"Bae Whuhh!!!!" she shouted. "Join us."

"JOIN US, BAE WHUHHH!!!" the zombies shouted.

Xara and the zombies then danced to seriously spicy salsa music.

But King Joebear's fat ass was not ready to dance to seriously spicy salsa. He was taking a shit that made even swamps smell like fresh cut roses. It seems that the sewer was flying out of King Joebear's sacred fat ass. Holy Shit that bear had a fat ass.

A young black and white cat named Miss Oreo came storming into the swamp. Kissy, their female orange cat that grew to be twice the size she was months ago, followed Miss Oreo. Garfield's soul had just left his body to be with Ahayah.

Kissy introduced me to being part of this Swamp Business.

I screamed and brought more humidity upon them. A wall of rain fell from the sky.

"Hoowoo Bae Whuhh you sexy!" Xara said. At that moment, she started her period. She had swamp vagina. She needed business more than ever. "BAE WHUHH!!! I NEED BUSINESS BAEWHUHH!!!"She was also crying because she missed Garfield.

"Kissy! Kissy!" King Joebear said in a low melodic voice. "I need you, Kissy Kissy."

Kissy ran over there to lay with him. Oh Shit! They were about to cry.

King Joebear called to his wife, "Bae! Come lay with me!"

Xara laid with her bear. A barbeque chicken pizza fell out of the sky. Her bear ate pizza. She ate pizza.

Count Macula, Jr. walked over to them while he was eating pizza. He was still a forever young white cub. Apparently, he was also in a freezer.

The Apparently Kid from YouTube yelled "APPARENTLY" before the remaining cast of PeeWee Herman shouted while wearing zombie masks.

A YouTube ad was shown on one of the trees in the swamp. The narrator's voice boomed, "COMING SOON, A STORY THAT WILL WARM YOUR HEART, RATTLE YOUR BRAIN, AND SEND YOU IN ANOTHER DIMENSION. DISNEY'S NEW FILM: COUNT MACULA, JR. CLIMBS A WINTERY MOUNTAIN IN TRANSYLVANIA TO FIND HIS FAMILY THAT HAD BEEN ABDUCTED BY THE FBI. HE FINDS MANY FRIENDS ALONG THE WAY, AND THEY CLIMB A MOUNTAIN TOGETHER AND FORM A BOND LIKE NO OTHER. WHAT DO THEY FIND? ONLY THE FBI KNOWS."

The video shows the title: FROZEN: COUNT MACULA, JR.'S SAGA.

The narrator continued, "COMING TO A THEATRE NEAR YOU. Youcanonlyenterthetheatreifyouhave receivedtheCoronavirusvaccine."

The ad stopped playing.

"Goddamn the FBI knows my life story. Goddamn the FBI knows my life story. Goddamn the FBI knows my life story. Goddamn the FBI knows my life story. Goddamn the FBI knows my life story. Goddamn the FBI knows my life story. Goddamn the FBI knows my life story.

Goddamn the FBI knows my life story.

Goddamn the FBI knows my life story," Count Macula, Jr. said in his high-pitched Southern accent as he sat down and ate his pizza. "I didn't take the vaccine, so I am not making a dime off of it. They're a bunch of crooks in the Beast system. They will go to Hell for this. They will go to Hell for this. They will go to Hell for this. They will go to Hell for this. They will go to Hell for this. They will go to Hell for this. They will go to Hell for this. They will go to Hell for this."

A super hot curly-haired woman with green eyes and glasses was also eating pizza, but she was dancing in ballet style around in a purple form-fitting crop top and a pink bekini. The bottom of her supple C-cup breasts would show when she jumped in the air. She was 7'4" and looked like an Amazonian woman. I have a boner. She was a perfect hour glass figure, AND I WANT TO VIOLATE HER OVER AND OVER!!!!

Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing and Megara were also eating pizza. They had three female cubs. He sang opera as entertainment for dinner. I sang with him because his voice moved my soul like wind blowing through the trees. He brought life to an otherwise soul of death and destruction. He could be a bear angel, but he has never asked for physical wings or powers.

Paul the Goat rode Hollywood while they both ate pizza.

Kissy, a large orange female cat, then ate Xara's pizza crust and meowed as though she were a wind-up toy. It was the longest and most beautiful meow I had ever heard. I was honored to hear it once more.

Her meow called upon me. THAT'S MY CUE!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------I descended from the Heavens as quickly as I could. Nothing in my life was more urgent than answering the call of that beautiful, angelic meow. KISSY! I COME TO THEE!

Count Macula, Jr. blinked as he looked at me and took a bite of his pizza. "Apparently we have entered Heaven. This pizza tastes like Heaven. Excuse me. I have a cub call to make. I have a cub call to make. I have a cub call to make. I have a cub call to make. I have a cub call to make. I have a cub call to make. I have a cub call to make. I have a cub call to make," he spoke before he growled a great cub growl eight times.

Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing did some vocal exercises before he, too, joined in bear chorus.

King Joebear growled in bear chorus before Miss Oreo stole a bite of pizza from him. "OREO, lay down!" he growled at her. Miss Oreo stared at him before she continued to chew.

Paul the Goat bleated before Hollywood neighed loudly.

The super hot curly-haired woman with green eyes and glasses started to bleat before she looked up at me and asked, "Who the hell are you?"

I spoke with vigor, "I am Macrula, a dark angel with regrets, angel wings of redemption, and have traveled across many planes of existence. A cat called upon me. What shall she have me do?"

I have a boner. I could not describe how much I wanted to pull that Amazonian woman's long brown curly hair and use it as a handle to yank her pussy back and forth on my cock. GODDAAMN!!!!!

Kissy looked at Miss Oreo. Miss Oreo looked at Kissy. They were confused cats.

I spoke again, "I heard a cat that sounded like a wind-up toy." Then I thought, 'And if I am not careful, I will defile this woman in front of you kittens.'

Kissy looked at me and meowed again. "Sorry about that. I was excited about pizza crust. When I eat pizza crust, I'm in heaven. Thank you for coming."

[coolthingsisee]

Obama warns that if the world isn't careful, democracy could be in danger: 'Democracy is a garden that has to be tended'

He said that he didn't hire mercenaries for government posts — aka people who entered government looking to enrich themselves —so that his presidency wasn't clouded by  "scandals and indictments" 

And he warned that like democracy was like a garden, without care, it won't thrive.

Former US President Barack Obama considers himself a diehard optimist but he couldn't help but vent some frustrations over the current political climate when he spoke to a crowd of 11,000 on Wednesday at a tech conference put on by Qualtrics, a software company in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Obama never mentioned the Trump Administration by name but he occasionally expressed his disapproval through quips and jokes.

"I like the rule of law, democracy, competency and facts. Those things aren’t partisan but they also don’t happen automatically," Obama warned in a rare moment of seriousness. "Democracy is a garden that has to be tended."

When asked by his interviewer, Qualtrics CEO Ryan Smith, about leadership during difficult times, Obama threw another gentle jab: "I’m old fashioned and believe in values like facts and reason and logic," which got a big cheer from the crowd.

He said there are several keys to good leadership and, doubling down on his theme of competency, he said one of the big ones was hiring.

When running a large and complicated organization, leaders need to surround themselves with people who are more knowledgeable than themselves, he said.

On top of that, good leaders then have to actually listen to those experts. "Have confidence that you can understand what they are saying and if not, you'll keep on asking questions until you do," he said.

Sometimes the people who rise to become the big boss "start feeling, 'I have every answer.' When in fact, most of the time you have not," he warned.

He told the story of what it was like for him during the Deep Water Horizon oil spill crises in the spring of 2010.

An oil drilling rig owned by British Petroleum and built by Halliburton exploded in such a way, and in such deep water, that engineers from those companies could not easily fix it. Oil flowed for 87 days, dumping massive amounts of oil into the Gulf of Mexico.

Obama described it on Wednesday as "the largest environmental crisis to happen in our lifetimes, in terms of an oil spill."

"Fortunately I had recruited as my Secretary of Energy Steven Chu, who was a Nobel Prize winning physicist," he said.

 As the weeks went by, his daughters started asking him about it, concerned about the people and wildlife being harmed. They asked him, "Daddy when are you going to shut down the hole?" he said and then laughed. "Now I"m feeling bad because my daughters think I'm not handling this well."

About three weeks into the crises Chu came in with a sketch on a napkin. "It looked like a little hat. There were some numbers next to it." They sent it off to BP who fleshed out the idea and it worked. The engineers capped the oil spill with a literal cap.

"My role as the leader in the organization was not to come up with the little hat because I wouldn't have thought of that. I would have thought, 'that doesn't look complicated enough to stop this hole in the ground,'" he joked.

"My job was to have Steven Chu there, who has a Nobel Prize in physics and that's who should be in charge of the Department of Energy."

The audience gave Obama another big round of applause in response. (The current Secretary of Energy is former Texas governor Rick Perry.)

The upside for Obama as a leader who hired such experts is that it "gave me a lot of confidence. I had confidence in the talent I had around me."

He said it's not just about someone's resume either. Motivations also play a role.

"I was good at making sure the people working with me were there for the right reasons, that there was a core integrity to what they were doing," he said. He wanted people who believed in the mission of using government to support citizens and solve problems.

Everyone from his volunteers to staff members to campaign donors were clear on that, he said. "This is not about us, you or me, it's not about you getting an appointment or a contract or a position, it's about the mission," he said. "So by the time we got to the White House, we had weeded out the mercenaries."

That set up the culture and "it also means you don't have big scandals and indictments. That's a bonus," he joked to another round of applause. Although it was only a passing reference, he was clearing referring to the growing list of people involved in Donald Trump's presidential campaign to be indicted, charged or to have pleaded guilty of crimes. 

SEE ALSO: Facebook says it will move to encrypted, auto-deleting messages — and warns that some countries might decide to ban it

Join the conversation about this story »

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This content was originally published here.

[btshodown]

Remember You (Pt. 2) M

↳ You’re just trying to get by and stay the course, but Jin has other plans in mind for you. Maybe going to that party on Saturday wasn’t such a great idea after all.   

Pairing: Seokjin x Reader Genre/Warnings: Fuckboy!Jin AU, Angst, Smut || Thigh riding, Oral (F & M receiving), Throat fucking, Big dick Jin cause ofc, Unprotected sex, Creampie, Dirty talk, Dom Jin, Slightly dom reader, Slight praise kink Word Count: 11k+

➭ Ahahaha....I’m back! FINALLY this chapter is done and it pains me to say that there’s one final part after this, instead of the original 2 parts I was going for. :’) I’m so sorry this took so long, a lot of stuff came up these months and I only ever worked on this fic like once a month. But finally, FINALLY its done. Its past 3 am and I need to wake up in less than 3 hours, but its finally finished. :’)))) Anyway, enjoy this filthy, angsty chapter! And also thanks again to my lovely best friend Admin RD for helping me out with this. <333

“What do you think about this one?”

 You ignore Yoongi’s obvious boredom as you hold up another Mario figurine to show him, wanting his opinion on whether it’d be a good gift to give to Seokjin. Despite Yoongi occasionally hanging out with Seokjin and the other guys from your job, he was the only one you saw outside of work. Both of your sense of dry humor had bonded the two of you before you became supervisor. In those days, Yoongi and you usually worked together in the slow night shift since neither of you liked waking up early.

 The only flaw to your friendship was the fact that he was also friends with Seokjin. At any opportunity you would constantly ask him why he was even friends with someone like him. Granted, Yoongi wasn’t some model student either and would sometimes miss classes or turn up late, but he always handed in his homework and got good marks on quizzes. He actually worked hard for his diploma and now for his degree in music production. Along with the fact that he didn’t rely on his parents to pay for his tuition or rent; you both lived poor together at least.

 “It looks the same as the last one. Honestly, y/n-noona, why are you suddenly so hung up on Jin-hyung?” At this, Yoongi finally looks at you with confusion and curiosity in his eyes, noticing your cheeks dusting with pink. “Just last week you were ranting about how you caught him making out with Jiae-ssi.”

 You avert your eyes from his stare, choosing instead to glance at the different Mario figurines lined up against the wall of the Nintendo store you were in. It was Wednesday now and you hadn’t seen Seokjin at work since the incident on Monday that led to the weird deal he had proposed. Yesterday was his day off and today was yours, tomorrow and Friday you didn’t work the same shift; so that left Saturday. Both of you had that day off and the anticipation to see what he had planned for you was maddening.

 Part of you hoped that something would happen and whatever that tension was inside the closet would continue. The other part of you wanted nothing to do with Seokjin the fuckboy. It’s as you always said; nothing good could ever come out of falling for someone like him.

 So then why are you buying him a present?

 You ignore that intrusive thought with a scowl as you let out a sigh, and turn to Yoongi once he nudges your arm impatiently, waiting for an answer you didn’t have. “Because I was raised to bring gifts when invited to a birthday party?”

 The deadpan expression on the younger man’s face has you grimacing, knowing that pathetic excuse wouldn’t fool him. You honestly couldn’t give him a straight answer without discovering something you didn’t want to. If it was possible, you wanted to never go down that road of self-discovery and opt to forever remain oblivious to the answer. Otherwise your heart and sanity wouldn’t come out intact.

 “Can you just help me decide what to give the bastard instead of interrogate me,” you grumble out as you put back the figurine you had in your hands. “You’re actually friends with the guy, that’s why I brought you with me in the first place.”

 “About that,” the black haired male begins as he absentmindedly grabs a box that had Princess Peach inside, “how did you even find out that Jin-hyung likes Mario?”

 The question catches you off guard and has you nearly dropping the Fire Flower suit Mario figurine; thankfully Yoongi is quick to catch it before it could hit the floor. You mumble a quick thank you as you feel the shop owner giving you the evil eye from across the counter. The old coot had been eyeing the two of you since the very beginning and you had a feeling that Seokjin wasn’t the only one with a Mario obsession.

 “It was brought up once when we closed,” you start off slowly, not wanting to slip up and reveal that the conversation had sprung up because you had seen the broad shouldered man topless. Imagine your shock when you not only see him taking his work shirt off one night when you closed, but also seeing a tattoo of the Super Mario star on his right pec.

 Oh, Seokjin teased you endlessly that whole week because of your reaction. You were sure that all the blood rushed to your face as you had stared slack jawed at the perfection that was his torso, before you had begun shrieking for him to put his shirt back on. The only saving grace of that night was that the blonde haired man would never find out about you masturbating to the thought of coloring his skin in hickies and scratches. You had thankfully gotten it out of your system by a week and were able to look him in the eye, but after what happened on Monday…well, the image once more found itself replaying on your mind.

 “You know, despite his narcissism…Jin-hyung isn’t a bad guy.”

 “Huh?” His sudden statement has you turning to face him in confusion as Yoongi silently hands you the porcelain figurine of the Fire Flower Mario you almost dropped.

 “I’m just saying that you should give him a chance. He isn’t as bad as you make him out to be,” his voice had gone soft as he glances over to you and sticks his hands inside his jeans pockets.

 Normally you would have dismissed his statement; it was something that he periodically brought up with you when you’d ask why he was friends with the guy, but this time there was a certain gleam in his eyes. The kind of gleam you recognized by now that meant he knew something you didn’t. It gave you pause as you stare down at the figurine in your hands, rolling it around in your palms so that Mario’s eyes bore into yours. You trusted Yoongi. It would be an insult not to after all you two had been through.

 But could you afford to take his word for it about Seokjin?

 With a shake of your head, you outright ignore his previous words and make your way to the counter to purchase the Fire Flower Mario. “I think this one is fine. Do you want to go grab food after this before your shift starts?”

 Yoongi regards you for moment with blank eyes; before he lets out a sigh and lets you get away without answering him. “Yeah, I’m starving since this crazy woman dragged me out of my bed at 9 am.”

 You let out a scoff to hide your giggle as you playfully smack his chest with the back of your hand and then place the figurine on the counter, taking out your wallet to pay the old shop keep. A few hours later you find yourself dropping Yoongi off at work and making your way home to wrap up the small porcelain Mario into a pink box. Making sure to wrap it with some newspaper to assure it wouldn’t break inside. Along with accompanying you to buy Jin’s present, Yoongi also let you know how the older man liked the color pink when you were choosing something to put the present in.

 Honestly, you weren’t expecting Seokjin to actually like the color pink, he didn’t seem the type, but at the same time it didn’t surprise you. As you came to learn over the past year, Seokjin had hidden traits about him that he hid from the public eye.

 You place the neatly wrapped pink box onto your kitchen counter with a thoughtful expression on your face, glancing over to your phone as Yoongi’s earlier words about Seokjin bounce around your head. Should you trust your friend on this? Would it turn out to be worth the risk?

 Suppose you’d find that out on Saturday night.

 “I don’t think I want to go anymore.”

 “What? Why?”

 You let go of the shirt you had in your hands and fall on your butt, groaning pathetically into the phone that had your best friend on the other line. She had been with you since high school and it was only the distance of her university that kept you apart. As much as it pained both of you, she left a year after high school to a university that was a few cities down. She’d still visit every holiday she had, but it wasn’t often since she was a good five hours away. It was the reason why you began hanging out with Yoongi so much.

 “Because I have nothing to wear,” you whine out pitifully and once hearing her scoff, your voice lowers to a softer pitch, “and what if all he has planned is just trying to have sex with me?”

 It shouldn’t have, but that thought alone made your heart constrict painfully. You knew it was true, you knew that by “fun” all Seokjin meant was having sex and getting drunk. You knew better than to try and foolishly believe he’d truly stop his horrendous lifestyle just to show you how “fun” his party could be. You knew that all he wanted from you was your body; something he’d never been able to achieve. It was probably all a game to him, a challenge he must of set for himself ever since you got hired. You knew.

 So then why did it hurt no less knowing it?

 “What’s so bad about that?” You finally hear your best friend reply and you hold the urge to let out another groan. “You haven’t gotten laid in so long and I bet even your vibrator isn’t as satisfying anymore – ”

 Your face quickly colors itself in red as you splutter out a reply, a mix of her name and a whine of embarrassment, but she ignores you and continues on.

 “ – Plus, if you really claim to not like Jin, but aren’t blind to see how hot he is, why not go for it? What do you have to lose?”

 You stay silent as you look at your clothes, contemplating her words as your face finally cools down, but you know that arguing with her would be fruitless. She had a point and you finally grumble out how there wasn’t much for you to lose. Maybe if you did end up having sex with Jin, you’d finally be sated and hopefully whatever the mess of emotions you had would finally be put to rest. Because you honestly couldn’t carry on with how things were right now.

 “Fine,” you let out a sigh as you stand up from you closet floor and resume shifting through your clothes. “I’ll go, but I still don’t know what to wear.”

 “Well, you still have that outfit I bought for you five months ago. You can wear it with the gold bands and pink booties you hardly wear.”

 Your eyes quickly fall to the end of your closet, where you kept most of your revealing outfits that your best friend convinced you to buy. She was always the more outgoing one of you two and there was a time you did enjoy some clubs and bars, but only because she was always with you. Now that she hardly came, you usually found yourself having lazy days by yourself or with Yoongi. Those outfits seldom saw the light of day anymore.

 But the outfit she had in mind had you blushing. It wasn’t so much revealing, but it hugged your figure to the point that it really didn’t leave much to the imagination. You might as well have chosen to go with just your undergarments.

 “I am not wearing that thing to his party! I might as well go naked!”

 “If the night plays out well, hopefully you will be naked,” she once again ignores your splutter of protest and continues on with a tone full of smug satisfaction. “Come on just imagine Seokjinnie’s reaction when he sees you walk through his door in that baby.”

 Your teeth catch your bottom lip as you nibble onto the flesh in contemplation. You couldn’t deny the temptation of dressing up in something provocative and watching Seokjin’s wide eyed gaze never stray from your body. The only person to ever really see you wear such clothes besides your best friend was Yoongi, and even he had appreciated the way your body looked.

 “Fine! Fine, I give. I’ll wear it and then tell you all the details tomorrow,” you let out a giggle as you hear your friend’s squeal on the phone and with a promise that you’ll call her, you finally hang up to start getting ready.

 A new surge of excitement has you chucking the outfit out of your closet and onto your bed, before you begin undressing to go shower. With a quick glance at your clock, you jump into the shower and start planning out your make-up and hair. Yoongi would come by to pick you up in two hours, so you had plenty of time to make sure you left your apartment looking as amazing as you could.

 You’d make sure that Seokjin would never forget this night.

 Any nerves you felt during the silent car ride and walking up the steps to Seokjin’s rather lavish looking apartment complex, completely disappeared the moment you traipsed through his door. You won’t deny that feeling the eyes of many men and even women had your confidence sky rocketing through the roof. Sure, Yoongi had stared at you and even kept giving you once overs while in the car, but you hadn’t taken his actions to heart. It wouldn’t have been the first time that you caught his gaze.

 Now, however, you felt excitement course through your veins as your eyes scan the crowd, easily picking up your coworkers amongst the writhing bodies. Although, you frown a bit as you can’t see a certain broad shouldered birthday boy and your hands unconsciously hold onto his small present closer to your body. Surely he had to be somewhere in here.

 “Do you want to come with me to grab some drinks?”

 You turn to Yoongi, unperturbed by how his lips brushed your hair as to have you hear him over the booming music and nod your head. You’d need all the help you could tonight, but by no means were you going to let yourself get drunk. You usually never exceeded two drinks when you’d go out; only needing those two to help relax your body and mind enough to enjoy any social function.

 Yoongi carefully maneuvers through the crowd with his arm wrapped around your waist, making sure not to lose you as you made your way into the spacious kitchen. As you step onto the tiled floor, your eyes scan the kitchen and you can’t help, but feel slight bitter jealousy at how nice Seokjin’s apartment was. Your little studio seemed like a cardboard box compared to his might-as-well-be-pent-house home.

 Damn him and his parents’ wealth.

 “Hey Yoongi-hyu – whoa!”

 You’re brought back to reality as you hear the exclamation and turn to find Hoseok standing there, one of the morning baristas you didn’t see as often, practically devouring your figure. A hot blush finds its way onto your cheeks as his dark eyes finally meet yours and that’s when he realizes who he’s looking at and mimics your blush.

 “I’m so sorry noona, I didn’t…if I would have known – it’s just you look really different.” It was a bit endearing to see him turn into a stuttering mess as he apologizes for his blatant staring. Hoseok was always one of the nicer friends Jin had. That’s not to say that the others weren’t nice, but Hoseok himself was usually a gentleman and very warm. How he was Jin’s friend also crossed your mind a lot.

 “It’s okay Hoseok-ah, really,” you manage to get out as a small smile adorns your face. Your hands nervously run down your black leather, high-waisted pants and as you glance down at your outfit you easily understand why Hoseok didn’t recognize you. No one besides Yoongi had ever seen you outside of your uniform and usual ponytail. This time, you followed your friend’s advice and wore the outfit she had bought for you a few months back. Along with the skin tight pants, you wore a long sleeved, high neck pink crop top that was sheer with darker pink lace to cover up your breasts and parts of your back; your matching soft pink booties completed your outfit for the night.

 You tried convincing yourself that you wearing pink was completely coincidence and not a ploy to make Seokjin’s eyes never leave you for the entirety of the night.

 “Was there something you needed besides ogling Y/n-noona, Hobi?”

 At Yoongi’s teasing tone, Hoseok’s ears turn red as he coughs into his hand before bringing up his red solo cup to his lips. It was odd, but the younger man almost seemed…guilty for getting caught looking at you and it made you turn a questioning look to your friend, who ignored you completely.

 “Uh, yeah. Jin-hyung was wondering if you had come already, but guess I just found his answer,” Hoseok replies a bit hesitantly as his eyes quickly flickered to you before moving back to Yoongi.

 “Yeah, we came a few minutes ago and decided to grab some drinks.”

 As the two young men began to talk amongst themselves, you busied yourself in grabbing a cup with some ice and making your way over to the giant orange cooler to pour whatever alcohol was housed in it. The strangely blue liquid left a lot to be desired, but with a careless shrug, you take a big gulp of it to ease the sudden nerves racking your body. What had Hoseok meant by that Seokjin was wondering if Yoongi was here or not? Did he know that Yoongi was going to pick you up? Surely not, unless your black haired friend was planning something with the older man.

 With that thought in mind, you move your gaze to Yoongi, slightly narrowing your eyes in suspicion as Hoseok and him lowered their voices to talk about something they clearly didn’t want you listening in on. Just what on earth was that fucker up to now?

 The younger of the two catches your gaze and before you can redirect your stare, Hoseok gives you a little grin. “Hey y/n-noona, you wanna go dance?”

 “Um, sure,” you reply a bit perplexed at his sudden offer, “I don’t mind dancing.”

 You tip your head back to finish off the remnants of your drink and set down the cup before walking over to Yoongi, handing over the small present box you had. “Do me the favor, yeah?”

 With a roll of his eyes, he lets out a dramatic sigh, but takes the gift away from you nonetheless. “Sure, I’ll just be here drinking by myself I guess.”

 It was your turn to roll your eyes as you walk off with Hoseok and throw Yoongi a quick wave, knowing he’d honestly rather not socialize despite his dramatics. As you make your way to the middle of the writhing bodies you couldn’t help, but to glance around the room to look for the elusive birthday boy. You had honestly expected him to be in the middle of the fray, but so far you hadn’t seen him anywhere. You tried to push away the sudden thought of him tucked away in his room with some random girl as the simple fleeting image made your stomach twist in knots.

 Your restless thoughts are halted, however, when you feel Hoseok’s hand wrap around your wrist; easily bringing you a mere few inches away from him as he throws you a warm smile. His lithe body was already effortlessly swaying to the beat of the music playing on the speakers and with a little wiggle of your hand; he had you moving with him as well. Dancing with the younger male was a lot easier than you had initially feared and for that you silently thanked him in your mind.

 “Can I be honest with you noona?” At his question, he leans down to your ear to make it easier to hear him over the music and continues. “I’m surprised you finally came to one of Jin-hyung’s parties. What changed?”

 “I was invited,” came your dry response before you could stop it and it brought a smirk to your face when Hoseok genuinely laughed at it. It was true though; before this ridiculous offer Seokjin had made to you, not once had he ever invited you to his parties. It was something you had grown accustomed to ever since you knew him back in high school and re-met him at the café.

 An odd expression crosses Hoseok’s face once his laughter fades away and just as he’s about to reply back to you, you suddenly feel very familiar warm hands settle on your waist. It was as if you had been touched by live wire by how your body physically reacted to him; his touch alone sent currents of electricity racing through your veins as his palms managed to find purchase on the small amount of skin shown between your pants and crop top. You wanted to turn around and snap at him to not touch you so intimately, but your resolve crumbled the moment you felt his hot breath fan over the side of your face as his lips teasingly ghosted over the top of your ear.

 “I’ve been looking for you.”

 Lord give me the strength. I don’t think I’ll survive tonight.

 You weren’t sure what expression Seokjin had, but one glance at Hoseok told you it was akin to “get lost” as the younger man gave you one last warm smile before disappearing back into the crowd. No doubt to find a new dancing partner now that his older friend stole his and it made you longingly glance at the spot he once was, wishing he’d come back to save you from the onslaught of anxiousness that overtook you.

 However, you’re quickly brought back to reality as you feel Seokjin’s hands suddenly begin to trail upwards, just shy of touching the underside of your breasts, and hastily grab hold of them with a small intake of breath. Just what the hell was he thinking?! With a pinch on both of his hands, you swiftly turn on your heel to face him as a scowl adorns your rose tinted lips, but the blush no doubt decorating your cheeks took away from your angry expression.

 “What the hell are you doing? Don’t touch me like that!”

 His only response was an infuriating smirk as he reaches forward to grab hold of your wrist, his eyes unabashedly raking your figure, and the sudden dark glint in them had your toes curling in anticipation. “If I knew you dressed like this outside of work, I would have made this offer ages ago,” his voice was gruff with obvious lust and it had your thighs clenching almost instantly.

 Despite wanting to jump his bones right then and there, you let out a scoff and retrieve your hand back from him, taking a small step back mainly to control your sudden arousal. “Had I known you were even sleazier outside of work, maybe I would have never bothered coming in the first place.”

 A deep chuckle rumbles in his chest and it has the pit of your belly quivering at the sound, leaving you to miss his squeaky, window cleaning laugh you’ve heard on occasion. Anything to disrupt the scorching heat forming in your lower body would be a sweet relief, considering that now you had a full visual of his outfit; and oh lord, it had your lace panties sticking to your skin. Why did he have to look even sexier than normal? It wasn’t fair.

 Never in your life would you have imagined yourself finding a man more attractive simply because he let his forehead show. His blonde hair was slicked back; a complete 180 from his usual boy band style and it had your skin tingling from how clear you could see his brow and dark eyes. Not only that, but it seemed you two somehow wore similar outfits to one another and it made your heart flutter at how utterly gorgeous pink made him look. He was such a tease, even now, as his pink shirt has the top two buttons left open; leaving you a tantalizing view of his prominent collarbones.

 Lord have mercy on your soul; you were already wet just by looking at the beautiful bastard.

 “You love it, don’t try and deny it,” he teases back with a grin as he once more places his hands on your hips and brings you closer to him, forcing you to rest your own hands on his broad shoulders to avoid having them crushed against his chest.

 For a while, all you can do is stare up into his eyes as your lips stay pressed together; trying your best to hold back the agreement bubbling in your throat. You hated that he was right, that there was a pretty big part of you that enjoyed having Jin flirt with you and clearly make it obvious that he wanted you. Because damn, you wanted him just as bad; you’ve been wanting him for as long as you can remember. But it was always his lifestyle that had you steering clear of him.

 You don’t know when that started changing.

 “Weren’t you going to show me how to have fun?” you hear yourself murmur as your traitorous body moves closer to his, not missing how his breath hitched the moment your breasts pressed against his chest. You weren’t sure where this sudden rush of bravery came from, but you hold onto it as tightly as you can, already getting addicted to the blast of confidence coursing through your veins.

 You watch with fascination as his pupils expand, quite literally showing you his sudden arousal as he wraps an arm around your waist and grins wickedly. “Oh, I still plan to sweetheart,” his voice is gruff with lust as he teasingly brushes his lips against the corner of your mouth, leaving you momentarily breathless. “But we have to go somewhere more private. I’m not really an exhibitionist.”

 All the blood rushes to your cheeks and to the space between your legs at his straightforward answer, leaving you a mess of hormones as you turn your head slightly, not quite touching your lips to his as you glance up into his eyes. “What are we waiting for then?”

 It’s as if you said the magic words because Seokjin is suddenly pulling you with him as he maneuvers out of the sea of bodies and towards a door that must lead into the hallway. The logical side of your brain is screeching at you to turn away and just find Yoongi to ask him to take you home; but it’s easily drowned out by the carnal desires of the flesh once Seokjin pushes you through a door and locks it. He wastes no time in diving into your lips, practically devouring you whole as his large hands roam all over your body, squeezing whatever he could as if he was a man starved.

 After so long of wondering how his lips would feel on yours, having it actually happen had your stomach tying in knots as a shudder of pleasure passes through your spine, instantly having your nipples harden behind your shirt. They were softer and much more plush than you had ever imagined; it was if you were kissing clouds and it had your mind providing you with filthy images of how his lips would feel against your pussy.

 A low moan leaves you the moment you feel his knee suddenly push apart your thighs to snugly rest between them, teasingly leaning in so that it just barely brushed against your throbbing core. Once hearing the throaty sound leave you, Jin lets loose his own growl as he eagerly grabs your hips and brings you forward on his thigh, giving you the friction you so desperately needed. With a small keen leaving your lips, your own hands fist his shirt as you twist your hips to begin grinding yourself against his thigh, loving the pressure it applied against your clothed clit.

 “You love that don’t you,” Jin grunts out as his fingers clutch onto your clothed hips, but you could feel his heat burning you through them anyway as his hot breath fans against your mouth. “You act so innocent at work, but look at you. You’re already a mess with just my thigh.”

 Normally you would have smacked his arm, or given him a piece of your mind for being so smug, but when he suddenly clenched his thigh and hit your covered clit just right, it had all your angered thoughts cease. Your back thuds against the door as you let out a loud whine that sounded close to his name and let your nails bite into the skin on his forearms for leverage.

 “Oh god, Jin,” you let out a hitched breath as he continues to flex the muscle, sending your mind into a plethora of euphoria, “Don’t stop. Don’t you dare stop.”

 The blonde male lets out a soft moan of appreciation for the soft pain of your nails digging into his skin and the way your kiss swollen lips parted to whine out his name so deliciously. Although, at your bossy tone, he couldn’t stop the violent twitch his clothed erection gave; he’d never admit to you that you taking charge was one of the hottest things he’s ever had to endure at work. He’s lost track of the amount of awkward boners he’s had to hide while closing with you, along with the number of times he’s had his hand wrapped around his cock in his car the moment he got inside it; too impatient to wait until he got home.

 But he loved teasing you and riling you up even more; loved to see how your ears tinted with red and your eyes set ablaze with anger or annoyance at one of his snarky remarks. He lived to push your buttons and see you screech at him; fruitlessly trying to disguise the obvious arousal in your eyes and the way you subtly tried to press your thighs together. He noticed it all and he reveled in it.

 “You’re really going to boss me around right now, sweetheart?” His husky tone has a fresh wave of arousal soak through your panties and begins to spread on your thighs, more so when his hands stop your grinding; leaving you a whining, panting mess. “Oh no. We’re not at work right now boss, you’re in my room and you’re going to play by my rules.”

 Suddenly, you’re left feeling cold as Seokjin pries his knee and body away from you, but not for long as you let out a startled squeal as you feel his large hands push down on your shoulders firmly. Too shocked and turned on to protest, you submissively kneel before him and eagerly press your thighs together as you see him begin to unbutton his pants. It wasn’t until that very moment that you finally take notice of the obvious and rather large bulge protruding from the center of his pants; the mere sight of what he’s hiding within their confines has your juices leaking down your thighs, unable to soak through your leather pants.

 You ignore the uncomfortable feeling almost instantly the moment his engorged cock nearly smacks you in the face the moment he slips his pants and underwear down past his thighs. A loud, desperate moan sounds about the room and you’re shocked to realize that needy sound came from you. However, you’re willing to forgive yourself for letting out such an embarrassing sound the moment your eyes devour the sight of quite possibly the prettiest and simultaneously hottest dick you’ve ever laid eyes on. This bastard was carved by the gods themselves, wasn’t he? It was the only explanation.

 It was thick with two protruding veins running on the underside of it, while the head was as red as a rose from how unbearably hard he was; that wasn’t even including the sheer size of it. You swore it came close to 8 inches, give or take at least 7 and for a moment a small amount of fear had you wondering if it would even fit. The biggest you ever had inside you was 6 inches and that had been a perfect fit, considering that it was also thick. Just what in the hell had you gotten yourself into?

 Jin quickly sees the hesitation in your eyes and with a smug smirk, he swiftly tangles his long fingers into your loosely curled hair and brings your forward; letting out a soft grunt the moment his leaking head brushed against your cheek. “Don’t even think about running now, boss,” he gently teases as his blown out eyes land on yours and once more pokes your cheek with the head of his cock, but then his tone turns soft with suppressed desire. “I’ll make sure to have your dripping wet for me before I fuck you. It’ll fit, or at least, I’ll make it fit.”

 Oh fuck, comes your mental reply as your teeth harshly entrap your lower lip and you have to physically swallow the desperate and wanton moan clawing at your chest. Your clit pulses erratically as your eyes leave his stare to lock onto the dick he was so graciously rubbing onto your cheek. Never in your life have you ever wanted to have someone’s cock in your mouth as badly as you did Seokjin’s right now; a notion you felt bitterly defeated in, but not particularly resentful for it. It made sense as to how cocky and narcissistic the young man always was; how could he not when he was drop dead gorgeous, but also had a big dick? Despite the unfairness of someone being so perfect physically, you couldn’t stop the slight warmth in your chest spread at the thought that someone like him actually wanted you.

 Without waiting for another filthy word to come out of his mouth, you quickly and eagerly open your mouth to wrap your lips around his leaking head; his sharp intake of breath giving you a quick ego boost. You give him no respite to get accustomed to your mouth when you give in to your desire and begin to suck and lick his member, one of your hands coming up to wrap around the base of his dick.

 “Shit, y/n,” was all he could groan out as his free hand slammed a bit loudly onto the door behind you to steady himself, although the action caused more of his cock to slide into your warm mouth and it had him letting out a soft whine. “Fuck, baby, your mouth feels so good around my cock.”

 Your eyes flicker up at his face twisted in pleasure beneath your lashes as the corner of your lips quirk into a triumphant smirk and place your other hand on his thigh to ground yourself as you slowly slid down on his erection, tongue pressing firmly against one of his veins. Soon, the only sounds ringing in the room were his whiny moans and the slurping noises you unashamedly didn’t try to hide. The distant bass of the music and the hum of voices outside the room and hall only set your core aflame, turned on by the sheer thought that you two weren’t really alone.

 Despite being surprised that Jin was actually a very vocal lover, you loved every second of your mouth sucking him off, if only to elicit another breathy whine from his lips. It was undoubtedly the hottest thing you had ever experienced and in spite of being on your knees, you felt in control and you felt the addicting power of having this normally smug man begging you to take him deeper into your mouth set your veins on fire.

 That is, until Jin got tired of your teasing sucks that pushed him close to the edge, but not enough to have him falling off of it. So with a soft growl of frustration at you denying his pleading again, he takes matter into his own hands as the hand still tangled in your hair grips hard enough to still you before he begins mercilessly fucking your mouth. Your throat encloses around his cock as you choke at the sudden intrusion and both your hands grip onto the flesh of his thighs to hold yourself steady as Seokjin’s ruthlessly thrusts into your mouth. You’re too shocked at the sudden shift in power to do anything about Jin using you like this, so you try your best to relax your gag reflex, but there was no way to control the tears beginning to leak down your cheeks at how unbearably hot this whole situation was.

 “You look so pretty with my cock stretching your lips princess,” Jin’s sudden gentle voice is such a huge contrast to his actions as he lets out a moan when he plunges into your throat and keeps you there, panting heavily as you choked slightly on his member. But he pulls back once he feels your nails bite harder into his thighs and silently admires how you greedily took in gulps of air, before once more prodding your lips open to take his erection again. “Shit, I’m getting close baby. You gonna swallow my cum like a good girl?”

 You let a guttural moan reverberate around his cock as you eagerly nod your head, so high off of the lack of oxygen his dick in your throat caused and you found you didn’t care how fucked out you probably looked. Not when Jin caressed your scalp and looked down at you with admiration and a blazing desire that had your walls clenching. You’d punish him for abusing your mouth in a moment, you thought to yourself, once he came in your mouth.

 “Such a good girl you are,” he murmurs softly as his thrusts slow down to a steady, but deep rhythm, making sure to elicit those beautiful choked moans of yours every time his cock hit deep into your throat.

 You can’t deny the flutter of your heart whenever he calls you a good girl and praises you softly for taking him in so well, but deeper, more darker thoughts of punishing him for making your throat raw fuel your actions. So it’s with precise sucks and flicks on your tongue on his head that has his fingers tangling in your locks painfully, as he begins to fuck your mouth again to chase his orgasm. His whiny moans and shaky pants has you shifting on your aching knees to once more clench your thoroughly drenched thighs, almost greedily swallowing every spurt of his seed he gave you.

 With a shuttering breath, he finally pulls his softening member out of your mouth and watches with blown out pupils as some of the white substance trickled down your chin. To your surprise, Jin gingerly picks you up off of the floor and begins kissing you reverently, his tongue now prodding against yours, causing a moan as he tasted himself. For a moment, you let yourself get carried away by his plump lips and his wandering hands as they snake underneath your shirt, making a sigh of pleasure leave you as he appreciatively cupped your breasts. You silently thank the hasty, last minute decision you made earlier to not wear a bra as his fingers begin to gently tweak your pearled nipples.

 “Jin,” you murmur as you pull away from his mouth with a lewd pop, continuing once you receive a content hum from him, “don’t think you’re getting away with abusing my throat like that.”

 At your sudden clipped words, Seokjin looks down at you with surprise and a hint of arousal in his irises, but before he can come up with a snarky reply, you walk him over to his queen sized bed you both ignored and with a forceful shove, have him falling onto his back. A smug smirk quirks your lips when you hear his startled grunt at being pushed and with quick, predatory movements, you begin to strip off your pants. Confidence flares brightly in your chest as you see his eyes widen and his pupils practically swallow his brown irises with fierce lust as he finally sees the mess he had made with his earlier actions.

 “Fuck, princess,” he moans out as eyes don’t move from staring at your juices slide down the inside of your thighs and your lace panties clinging to your drenched core like second skin. “You’re so fucking wet.”

 “You made this mess,” you reply back with authority in your voice, loving the new found confidence running through your veins at his open admiration for your body. “Now you’re going to clean it up.”

 Seokjin lets out an animalistic sounding growl from deep within his chest and it has your clit pulsing painfully from being neglected for so long. His predatory gaze nearly has you submitting to him again, but you hold on tightly to your dominance and once finally removing your shoes, you push his chest down as your thighs comfortably cage in his head. The image of Kim Seokjin underneath you would forever be burned onto your mind as one of the single most hottest things in your lifetime.

 “Gladly,” comes his husky response as he wastes no time in leaning up to take your swollen nub between his plump lips, ignoring how even his neck was getting wet with your arousal as your thighs caged him in.

 With a loud moan, you nearly lurch forward as Jin begins to generously suck on your clit, plush lips creating the most toe curling pleasure you’ve ever had that tears once more begin to trek down your cheeks. In the hazy fog of your mind, you’re eternally grateful for thinking ahead and wearing waterproof mascara and eyeliner. No doubt you would have looked like a hot mess otherwise, more than you already did.

 “Jin, oh Jin!” The voice that leaves your lips is one you can barely recognize, it sounded so breathless and whiny. “There! Don’t stop!”

 He only grunts in reply as his lips leave your clit, only for his tongue to swirl around your leaking entrance before penetrating your walls, loving how they clenched around the wet muscle as his nose bumped against your clit. A soft whimper leaves your own lips as your strength leaves you and has you completely sitting on his face, your hands finding purchase in his soft, bleached locks. You give little thought of him needing to breathe as your shirt becomes uncomfortably hot against your perspiring skin, so with a desperate tug, you pull off your last article of clothing and toss is carelessly somewhere on his floor.

 A sharp exhale leaves your lips as you suddenly feel Seokjin’s large hands greedily grope your thighs before finding purchase on your ass, each hand squeezing your cheeks as he moves your lower body to grind against his face. A choked sob slips past your lips as his tongue leaves your entrance, only to flatten completely on your clit. With a deep rooted carnal desire, you begin to frantically ride his mouth, loving how with each moan he gave it only vibrated against your aching pussy.

 “Fuck, fuck! I’m close,” your tone is breathless and slightly shrill as heavy pants leave your raw throat and you can feel that knot in your belly about to burst, sending a shiver up your spine at the intense pleasure Jin’s mouth was giving you. You had long forgotten that you were, in fact, at a party and that no doubt anyone who was close enough to the hallway could hear your desperate cries.

 With each keening whine that left you, Jin tightened his hold on your ass and helped you grind against his tongue; even with him unable to talk, you can almost hear the “That’s it baby, cum on my mouth” with his actions alone. He was eating you out as if he was a starved man deprived of food and water, his heavy, hot pants against your lips only had you throwing your arms back to find leverage on his hips as you continued to roll your hips erratically to chase your pending orgasm.

 It was then that your wrist brushed against something hard and hot, leaving you a gasping mess as you realized that Jin had gotten hard again from eating you out; and fuck if that wasn’t already exciting you to feel him stretch you out. You hadn’t even orgasmed from his tongue just yet and you were already looking forward to cumming with his dick next.

 You’re harshly brought back to the man you were currently drowning in your juices as his teeth gently grazed your throbbing clit and with a sharp inhale, you come undone as the small prick of pleasurable pain was all you needed to finally feel that knot snap within you. You let out a shrill scream, before repeatedly saying his name in a whine as your orgasm had your body twitching above him. Seokjin stays perfectly still and flattens his tongue on your sensitive clit, letting you ride out the last vestiges of your orgasm, before you whimper out at the over-sensitivity and finally lift yourself off of him.

 Your thighs are shaking uncontrollably as you pant heavily, lowering your quivering body on his mattress, but it isn’t long before Jin rolls over and grabs onto your ankles, pulling you over to him. Your eyes lock onto his face as he finally removes his damp pink shirt, flinging it somewhere behind him and leaving you to rake your hands over his toned stomach and chest; that silly little Mario tattoo making an appearance once more. The sudden urge to run your tongue against the lean muscles on his stomach has you practically panting; he truly was carved by gods.

 “That was so fucking sexy,” he growls out as he plants his hands on either side of your head, letting you see your juices cover his chin and cheeks, as his plump lips shine with the remnants of your arousal. “Shit, I need you princess. Do you see this? My cock is already excited to stretch that pretty pussy of yours.”

 True to his words, your eyes flicker down to his erection you had felt a few moments ago as he gripes it tightly in his fist, giving it one slow pump as precum leaks out the slit. On instinct, your walls clench around nothing, as if anticipating having him fill you to the brim with his cock and the thought alone has you squirming as a fresh wave of arousal hits you.

 “Fuck me Jin,” your tone is bossy and raspy from the earlier abuse the very thing pressed against your thigh gave it, but your core throbbed almost painfully wanting him to wreck you even further. Never in your life had you ever wanted to be fucked so badly, but then again you had never had the object of your dirty fantasies hovering above you, ready to give you want you’ve been desiring after before.

 “I’m going to make sure you won’t be able to walk,” he replies a bit darkly as his lips press against yours, tongue flicking out against your bottom lip before his teeth capture the abused flesh. “You don’t know how long I’ve been wanting this for.”

 You lift your hips impatiently as you grind against his erection, relishing in the soft gasp he gave and giving him a wicked grin, wondering why he wasting time talking when his dick could of already been inside you. Your walls were weeping again and you were amazed at how quickly you were drenched again, but you didn’t question it further as you continue to grind against him and let moans roll off your tongue.

 “Then stop waiting and fuck me already,” you nearly snap at him as your breath hitches at feeling his swollen tip press against your clit.

 “Patience, princess,” he scolds you lightly with that smug smirk of his as his fingers teasingly trace your lower lips, loving the soft whine you gave at his touch.

 Jin doesn’t waste any more time after that as he sits back on his legs and grabs the underside of your knees, spreading them as he lifts your ass to rest on his thighs. He leans forward and finally cups your bare breasts as his lips finds yours once more, his tongue easily slipping into your mouth to rub against your own. He hungrily swallows the moan that leaves your throat and gives your nipples a gentle pinch, twisting them slightly before detaching his mouth from yours to have it envelop an erect bud.

 With ragged breaths, you arch your back off of his mattress and squirm beneath him as he continues his ministrations on your nipples. Your whole body is set ablaze with the inferno of your desire as Seokjin ignores your pleading mewls to fuck you already, choosing instead to give all of his attention to your breasts he had previously ignored. While with every flick of his tongue, he lets the head of his dick press against your clit tortuously, teasing you to the brink of insanity.

 “Seokjin,” you practically cry at this point, no longer caring about your pride as Seokjin has effectively left you a fucked out mess, begging for his cock to be inside you. “Please, please I need you inside me.”

 With a wet pop, Jin leaves your slowly purpling breasts and levels you with a dark look of pure lust in his eyes, while his lips quirk into a cocky smile. “Anything for you, boss,” he replies casually and if weren’t for the red, angry looking head of his dick prodding at your entrance, you would of believed he was unaffected. Cocky bastard.

 Your sour thoughts are cut short however, the moment you feel him push in the tip of his member and let out a deep moan in sync with one of his own. Finally, you think to yourself as you nibble on your swollen lip to bite back a yelp of pain and pleasure at having his thick cock stretch your walls so deliciously. You were so drenched in arousal that the small sting of being stretched so wide to accommodate for his large size was minimal and the beginning wisps of pleasure began to curl around your lower body.

 “Shit, you’re pussy is so tight princess,” Jin hisses out in pleasure as sweat begins to bead around his forehead and neck, showing you just how fucked out he truly was. “So wet and warm for me, fuck.”

 “Jin, please,” you don’t even know what you were begging for anymore, all you knew was that your walls squeezed around his cock almost painfully, wanting to bring him closer to you.

 The moment he bottoms out, he lets out whiny breath as he stares down at how your body swallowed his whole member in amazement; he honestly wasn’t expecting to be able to fit his whole girth inside of you and it had him swallowing as he tried his best not to cum inside of you right then and there. But his still form had you writhing beneath him, desperate for him to move as you wrap your legs around his waist and moaning as you felt him twitch inside you.

 “Give me a second princess,” he pants out as he shifts his legs, trying to move them before he could begin to feel the pinpricks of numbness from sitting on them for too long. However, in moving it only has your walls clamping down around his dick again and it drags a raspy moan from him as he can feel his thighs slick with your dripping juices.

 However, the moment you moan out his name in another desperate keen, Seokjin loses all control he tried to keep and digs his fingers into your hips, pulling his cock out to the tip before roughly thrusting into you. The action as you crying out as your body slides forward from the rough thrust, but Jin is quick to pull you back to him as he begins his assault and pounds into you like a man possessed.

 Not soon after, his walls echo with the sounds of your cries of pleasure, Jin’s own groans and, the harsh sound of skin slapping. With the angle Seokjin had you, with your ass resting on his thighs and your lower body tilted up, his cock reached so deep inside of you it had you feeling him in your stomach. You didn’t even care that he was possibly leaving you nasty bruises on your hips from how hard his fingers were digging into your flesh; all you could focus on was how good his dick stretched you out and reached parts inside you, you didn’t even know were there.

 “Jin, Jin, Jin,” you practically cry his name like a prayer as your hands fly out to grip his wrists, trying your best to not fly off him from how harshly he was thrusting into you. “Y-You feel so, fuck! You feel so good!”

 He lets out a ragged grunt as he rises off his legs and kneels completely, letting your body lift off even more than before as he held you to make sure you wouldn’t fall. The new angle had you sobbing in amazement that he was reaching even deeper inside you, while simultaneously the tip of his dick was angled so that it kept hitting that sweet spot inside you. It had you forgetting your name, only able to remember his as you kept repeating it like a mantra.

 “You l-love my cock…ah…inside of you don’t you?” he growls out lowly as sweat rolls down his temple and chest in huge droplets, his blonde hair plastering itself on his forehead. “You love how it stretches out your pretty little cunt, right princess?”

 “Yes! Oh god yes!” comes your shrill cry as you now have to hold onto the sheets beneath you, your arms not quite long enough to find proper leverage on his wrists anymore. Your sluggish mind can barely process that the distant, consistent thud you hear is over the headboard banging into the wall from how hard Jin was fucking you into the mattress.

 You weren’t sure you’d be able to let him go if he decided he wanted this to be a one-time thing. You could already feel yourself begin to get addicted to the beautiful pleasure Jin was bestowing on your body.

 “Fuck, I won’t last much longer,” Jin moans out as he can feel his climax fast approaching with how tightly your walls were clenching around him. It felt as if with every thrust, your hole was trying desperately to pull him back in and it was single handedly the best feeling he ever had with a girl.

 After his proclamation, Jin stops his thrusting and lowers you down onto the mattress fully, quieting your disappointed whimpers with his mouth as he kisses you with an intensity that had your mind swimming. Soon enough, his cock was once more pushing into you and both of your moans resonated into the kiss that turned sloppy with heavy pants as his hips snap against yours.

 With quick work, his long fingers dip between your bodies and begin rubbing circles around your clit, all while still thrusting into you. It had you arching your back off the sheets and pressing your breasts against his chest, not minding in the least that your skin clung to his from the sweat glistening on both your bodies. Not when all your focus was on the pleasure that doubled from being stimulated from your clit and core.

 “Cum for me princess,” Jin pants out as his thrust begin to lose their rhythm from how close his orgasm was approaching. “I want you to cum all over my cock.”

 Your throat is utterly raw from your screams and Jin’s earlier actions, that all you can manage is soft whimpers now as your hands find purchase on his shoulder blades; nails biting into his skin as you leave angry, red markings on his back each time he thrusts into you. “I-I’m so close Jin,” you whine out as your body feels like its floating from the sheer euphoria you can almost feel approaching.

 “That’s it baby, cum for me.” With one final snap of his wrist and thrust of his hips, you let out one final hoarse cry as your body trembles like a leaf from the powerful orgasm rocking your nerve endings.

 Seokjin thrusts into you with desperation as he lets out his own whiny moans, and the feeling of his cum warmly painting you from the inside has goose flesh raising all over your body. There weren’t enough words to describe just how utterly sated and boneless you felt as Jin finally stills inside of you, another shudder passing your spine as you feel your mixed fluids leaking out of you and onto the sheets below.

 With a soft, shuttering exhale, Seokjin pulls out of you and tiredly slumps next to you on the bed, closest to the edge. For a long moment, the blood previously rushing through your ears subsides and you can finally hear the still ongoing music and murmurs of peoples voices carry from behind the door. It almost feels like you two are in a completely different world than the people partying beyond the hallway and you let a small, tired smile come to your lips as you realize that the warmth spreading in your chest was happiness.

 Just as you were gathering your strength to turn around and nuzzle into Jin’s neck, contentment buzzing in your veins at your realization of your own feelings, said man was suddenly lurching off the bed and running to the bathroom connected to his room.

 The warmth that had you previously floating, suddenly comes crashing down at your feet the moment you register the sounds Jin is making are those of vomiting.

 He was drunk.

 Seokjin had been drunk this entire time.

 With a trembling breath, you begin to make sense of his out of place boldness back when you were dancing with Hoseok and with a sick realization; you now see that in the end Jin hadn’t wanted you. He only wanted a quick fuck to sate his drunken hormones, and the thought of him not even remembering the intimate moment you shared had angry, bitter tears gathering in your eyes.

 You were such an idiot.

 You should have known better than to think that anything about him would change. His promise was bullshit lies to get you to sleep with him and you were foolish enough to believe they were anything else. You should have known and yet, you feel your heart break at knowing that you were an idiot for falling for someone like Kim Seokjin.

 With renewed energy, your anger has you quickly getting off his bed and cleaning yourself off with his sheets, before beginning to locate your clothes and redressing yourself. By the time you’re completely dressed, Jin stumbles out of the bathroom with droplets of water on his chin, indicating he had at least some semblance of clarity to wash his mouth out after puking. Although, the moment he sees you’re not naked as he is, his face contorts into confusion and then worry when he sees your stormy glare level at him.

 “What’s wrong princess? Where are you going?”

 “Shut up! Don’t call me that you fucking asshole!”

 Seokjin quickly clicks his mouth shut as he stares at you with wide, bewildered eyes at your sudden hostility, when moments before you had been holding onto him like a lifeline. His clueless gaze only fuels your rage further as you stomp toward him like an angered panther set on its victim, relishing in him stumbling onto the door of the bathroom to try and avoid your wrath.

 “Y/n, what’s – ”

 “I said shut up,” you icily snap at him as you roughly shove him against the door once you reach him, your hands curling into fists as they shake in anger. “I can’t believe you! This whole time, this whole damn night, you’ve been drunk?!”

 Seokjin looks at you with confused, slow eyes, before he’s quickly sobering up at the severity of the situation, realizing exactly why you were angry with him. He could remember now his promise of not being drunk, and although he had said it would be at work only, he had honestly meant to try and stop his bad habits outside of work too. He knew how much you hated his lifestyle and despite at one point not caring of your opinion, he began realizing that he slowly began to care.

 He had just been so nervous of you finally coming to one of his parties and one drink to calm his nerves turned to two, then three…

 But looking at the unshed tears shining in your narrowed eyes, Jin couldn’t find it in himself to give you such a lame excuse.

 “Y/n, I know this situation isn’t ideal, but I swear to you that –”

 “Fuck you,” you once again interrupt him as your cold tone wavered from the hurt coursing through you now, not wanting to hear any excuses he was prepared to tell you. You should have known.

 Just as Jin sees you turn and begin to stalk toward the door, panic settles within him as he hurriedly pulls on some sweats lying on his desk chair beside him, stumbling as he tried to reach you and dress at the same time.

 “Y/n-ah! Please listen to me – !”

 You ignore his pleading yells as you open his door and quickly storm past the hallway and into the ongoing party, ignoring any looks passed your way as you searched for your black haired friend. You easily find him leaning against the wall by the kitchen, your present in one hand, while the other nursed a drink he occasionally took a sip from. The rest of his group of friends and your employees (Hoseok, Jimin, Namjoon, Jungkook and Taehyung), were now standing with him as they joked around and talked amongst themselves.

 You only felt a small twinge of guilt for pulling him away from them as you icily tell him to take you home. Yoongi looks at you with shock and concern, wondering what happened between the time you left him in the kitchen to now. You ignore the questioning glances the younger males are giving you and silently tug on Yoongi’s sleeve, desperate to leave the moment you hear a familiar voice reaching you.

 “Y/n, wait!”

 You grit your teeth as now the once bustling room begins to quiet as Seokjin comes rushing over to your group, clearly causing a scene with his half-dressed state. “Yoongi, come on. Let’s go,” you angrily mutter as you ignore Jin completely and turn to leave.

 Although, the two if you are stopped when Seokjin reaches out to clutch onto your wrist and making you turn to give him a venomous stare. “Don’t touch me!”

 Your heart thrums painfully in your chest at seeing Jin look so pitiful, with his hair a mess and eyes that looked much too sad for someone who only wanted a quick fuck. Ignoring the suffocating pressure in your chest, you once again feel the hurt and anger curl around your throat as you grab your present from Yoongi’s hand and furiously throw it at Jin’s chest. To think you had cared enough to actually waste money on him.

 Jin is startled at the small box hitting him on his bare chest, but he’s quick to fumble to catch it as he stares at you with scrunched eyes of hurt and confusion. You decided that he was far too great an actor to be studying something mundane like law.

 “Have a fucking happy birthday, Seokjin,” comes your clipped tone that was akin to a slap as Jin simply stares at you in defeat. You finally tear your gaze away from him as you once again turn around and walk out the door, ignoring the stares of everyone at the party as the tears finally begin to spill.

 It wasn’t until you heard Yoongi catching up to you and gently helping you into his car that you let the repressed sobs come crashing out your lips.

 You cover your face and are grateful that Yoongi doesn’t speak or even questions you on what happened; he simply turns on the car and begins driving away to the familiar route to his apartment. The whole car ride is spent in silence, along with your trek to his apartment floor, where Yoongi still remains silent and only grabs a blanket and pillow from his room before laying down on the sofa. He knew better than to try and console you or offer sweet words, knowing by now that you simply needed to be alone, without necessarily being lonely. Tomorrow morning you promised yourself to make up for ruining his night, but for now you tiredly walk into his room and close the door.

 It isn’t until you take off your shoes and pants, and are under Yoongi’s covers that you finally notice your phone is lighting up the dark room with notifications of someone texting you. You debate for only a few seconds before curiosity got the better of you and you reach over, bringing the phone to your face, knowing exactly who was messaging you so late at night.

 1:42 am Seokjin >:b : I’m sorry

 You don’t get past the first message preview before fresh tears are springing to your eyes and you quickly toss the phone onto the carpeted floor, not caring on where it landed. He wasn’t sorry, at least not for hurting you. He was only sorry that it ended so badly with someone who had authority over him at work.

 With a shuddering breath you let your quiet sobs break the silence of the room as you curl against Yoongi’s blankets, hoping to slip into a dreamless sleep soon to escape from the horrible thoughts plaguing your mind.

 You should have known.

[variabels]

SSB - The Academy of Hope and the Fighters of Despair Prologue

Fandom: Super Smash Bros

Rating: T

Warning: None this chapter

Pairings: None

Deviantart: http://fav.me/daz9brx

Fanfiction.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12368734/1/The-Academy-of-Hope-and-the-Fighters-of-Despair

AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9789410/chapters/21983774

Tumblr version below

A/N: Hi, this is my new fanfic inspired by my two favorite games SSB and Danganronpa. The first chapter is mainly introductions, but you should reader since it helps understand the story better. Hope you enjoy!

“Hope’s Peak Academy” It’s an exclusive academy, officially recognized by the government itself, it aspires to gather the most talented students in their respective fields. General opinion says that if you attend the school you have success in life guaranteed. The school has hundreds of years of history in which its top students got to the leading role of their professional field time after time and in which the school has expanded to multiple regions. Its goal is to raise Nintendo’s “hope” that will lead it in the future. This has lead some people to call the school the “Academy of Hope”.

To be accepted into the school you must be two things: “the very best in your field of expertise” and “still be in school”. Unlike normal schools, Hope’s Peak doesn’t accept entry requests. You need to be scouted and invited by the school to enter it.

And so here I stand. In front of Hope’s Peak Academy. The building is so huge and grand. The main brick tower radiates so much power with it’s surrounding gray towers. I guess those are the dorms. I can’t wait to enter the gate of the most amazing school in the country…

Oh, I almost forgot! Let me introduce myself. My name is Link. I’m nothing too out of the ordinary compared to some of the more famous students I’ve heard about. All that really stands out are my pointy ears but I’m not the only one who has them. Otherwise I guess I’m a pretty normal person for Nintendo. There’s nothing really special about my personality either. I could say that I’m a bit heroic but so are many of the other students. Even the things I thought I was good at aren’t that special. The class above mine has the “Ultimate Swordsman” and another student who’s pretty good with a sword. Actually I don’t think Hope’s Peak has had a year without someone being a swordsman. Anyway, my hobbies are pretty normal, I like playing games like everyone. I like animals like everyone and the music I listen to is whatever is popular at the moment.

You’re probably wondering how someone like me is standing in front of this school. I’ll explain to you what happened yesterday evening.

I was surfing on the Melee branch of Hope’s Peak forum. Yes, the school has a forum. It even has pages dedicated to specific students. I decided to look to see who would be attending the school this year.

For example, a girl was accepted as the “Ultimate Singer”. Her singing is said to be so beautiful that it makes some people fall asleep.

Then there’s the “Ultimate Plumber”. I heard he doesn’t do it much but when he does it’s really well done. To be honest I can’t see how anyone would want that talent, but I think he’s happy to be accepted into the school.

Someone was admitted as the “Ultimate Mascot”. He’s been on lots of magazine covers and is even the mascot of Nintendo’s soccer team. That’s really impressive, he’s managed to capture the whole nation’s heart.

Even more amazing, there’s the “Ultimate Bounty Hunter”. She’s often mistaken for a guy due to her suit and personality. It’s said that there are many professional bounty hunters that want to hire her, heck even the government wants to hire her. That’s how amazing she is.

There’s also the “Ultimate Driver”, “Ultimate Captain”, “Ultimate Magician” and so on. Nothing but people with amazing talents. There are also some others missing on the list. There are only twelve names yet there are supposed to be sixteen students per class. I’m not surprised about my lack of appearance on the list since I’m not famous at all. But what about the three others? I guess maybe they aren’t famous or prefer to remain anonymous.

So by now you’re probably wondering. How did such a normal guy like me get accepted into the academy?

Well, it turns out the academy recognized a talent I had. I never thought I had it, but that’s probably because I’ve had it all my life and it’s always seemed normal for me. No one else I know knew I had it. But I guess if Hope’s Peak noticed it, I might as well attend the school. I’ll tell you my talent now. I’m the “Ultimate Puzzle Solver”. Yeah, pretty lame compared to the others. But I guess I am quite good at solving puzzles. I remember easily solving a puzzle called “The Water Temple” in a video game, I live streamed it with some friends for fun. I guess Hope’s Peak saw it, turns out it was one of the hardest puzzles in that game. It’s said to be impossible to do without backtracking at least once on the first try. But I did it without backtracking once on my first play through.

I don’t really see how that’s considered a talent. I guess I should be happy I even got accepted into the school. I first thought it was a prank. But here I am standing in front of success for life.

I read the acceptance letter once again before entering the grand building. I was in the hall but… No one was there. I wondered if I was late but the clocks all said 8am which was the meeting time. Maybe I went to the wrong hall. I decided to walk around the school but didn’t find anyone. I look at the letter once more and decided to head to my class room. It’s so embarrassing to think that I’ll be late for my first day at Hope’s Peak.

I entered my class room to be kindly greeted by my new classmates. At least that was what was supposed to happen but all I felt was a strange dizziness. Everything became blurry as my vision was somehow being twisted. The next thing I saw was darkness. Nothing but darkness.

That’s when everything changed. My normal life ended. I should have realized sooner that this was too good to be true. There’s no way I would have gotten into the “Academy of Hope”.

“…”

“……”

“….…..”

“... huh? Where am I?”

I looked around and noticed I was in a classroom. I must have fallen asleep, nothing out of the ordinary I always fall asleep.

However the more I looked at the room the more confused I became. I’ve never been in here. This room had yellow walls and a big black board. There were desks surrounding mine, almost felt like if I was in the middle of some huge trial. I noticed no one was around and I checked the clock. It was five past eight, maybe I mistook the time on the clocks and fell asleep. I then noticed a security camera.

“Why’s there a camera in here?” I muttered to myself. I approached the camera to look at it but I noticed something even more disturbing. The windows were covered in metal plates. I’m pretty sure there weren’t any when I was outside. I knocked on the plates to confirm that they were metal. But what did the school need them for?

I got up and noticed a paper underneath my desk. It was a pamphlet with bad handwriting and crappy drawings of hands.

“A new semester has started! A revolutionary new semester awaits you bastards inside these school walls!” I read aloud. “This is plain stupid.” I told myself. I threw the paper in the bin and headed outside.

I decided to head to the entrance hall. I walked down the hallway thinking about what I had just seen. It almost felt like something out of a video game or a movie. For all I know the school could be doing a zombie apocalypse week or something like that. It did feel like a base you’d have in that situation. But the lack of people made it feel more like a type of prison designed to make whoever was inside go crazy. I took a glance at the corridors and noticed how the wall and light color changed in some parts.

“This is starting to feel creepy.” I said while feeling a chill climb up my spine. I decided to stop thinking about the mysteries of this school and continued my journey. I arrived in front of a door with an exit sign on top of it. I took a long breath and I opened the door.

Once I entered, I saw them. They were waiting and it made me feel overwhelmed.

“Are-a you a student here?” asked a short guy with an Italian accent. I tried to reply but I couldn’t find any words, so I just nodded.

“Well that makes sixteen of us!” said… A gorilla! I was shocked out of my mind. I knew there were weird students that weren’t human but I never thought they’d let a talking gorilla in this school. Next thing I know a country will have a gorilla president, king or something like that.

So these are the “Ultimate” students. My new classmates radiated an aura of grandeur. I looked at them and decided to introduce myself.

“I’m Link the Ultimate Puzzle Solver. Nice to meet you all. I… Um… I’m not sure about what happened but I fell asleep and woke up in an empty classroom.”

“You too? How strange…” said a blonde girl in a dress.

“Hey, you’re late!” yelled the girl next to her. She was really tall, about six foot tall. She wore her blonde hair in a ponytail. She seemed like one of those beautiful girls that turn out to be quite rude.

“God, it’s not like we had a choice.” grunted a fox dressed in human clothes. This school just won’t stop getting weirder…

“We should introduce ourselves to Link.” cried out a high pitched voice. It was a little boy with black hair and blue eyes wearing a cap.

“Before any of you protest. I think it’s a good idea to get to know each other better. We should all introduce ourselves to Link.” explained a man in karate clothing. I felt relieved since it seemed as though there actually was someone pretty normal in this school.

I already knew who most of them were thanks to the forums but meeting them in person was different. I felt like I had almost forgotten everything I had read about them. Before approaching anyone, I looked to the back of the room and saw a huge metal bulkhead. There was also a camera, I sighed and reluctantly accepted the fact that this school was plain weird.

I approached the angry blonde girl. She was wearing a blue suit instead of a uniform. I didn’t put too much thought into that and I started a conversation with her.

“I’m Samus Aran the Ultimate Bounty Hunter. If you get dirt anywhere near me, I’ll kill you. Nice to meet you, Link.” Samus gave off the impression of a socially awkward person but she seems to genuinely be nice. I hope we get to be friends.

I then walked towards a man that looked like the Italian guy I had met earlier but taller and dressed in a green uniform. He seemed scared but he was kind enough to introduce himself.

“I-I am-a Luigi! The Ultimate-a Little Brother…” he muttered shyly in an Italian accent.

“That’s a talent?”

“I knew you wouldn’t believe it’s a good talent! Well, I-I…” he didn’t finish his sentence and just stood without saying a word. I felt bad, I was surprised by his talent but if he’s the “Ultimate Little Brother” he must have a great relationship with his brother. I wonder what it’s like to have a sibling… Anyway I should go talk to the next person.

The next student was Yoshi the “Ultimate Babysitter”. He was a little green creature with a red shell on his back. Apparently he’s a yoshi. He seems familiar.

“Hey, didn’t I babysit you once?”

“How did you remember that?”

“I might babysit a lot but I make sure to remember every kid I’ve met.” He answered. We talked for a bit until Samus yelled at us for talking too much. I said bye to Yoshi and went towards the other Italian guy.

“It’s-a me-a Mario! The Ultimate Plumber!”

“Uh… Is Luigi your little brother?”

“A-yes! He-a has an amazing-a talent! I am-a stuck with-a this lame plumber talent…” he seemed to get depressed after saying that so I decided to let him be. He walked towards his little brother.

“Hey, Link! I am the Ultimate Singer known as Jiggles!” a small jiggypuff yelled while jumping and waving her little arms in the air. She was really cute that I just wanted to hug her but I resisted that urge by walking away. I kinda felt bad for leaving her alone but she went to talk with Samus so I figured she was fine.

I then talked to the big guy in the karate clothing. We had a conversation about school.

“Oh, I forgot to introduce myself! I am Ryu the Ultimate Martial Artist” he boasted. Yeah, no shit Sherlock… I kept that thought to myself.

The little boy from earlier came towards me and introduced himself as Ness the “Ultimate Psychic”. I just stood there staring and wondering if he could read my thoughts.

“You’re wondering if I could read your thoughts, right?” I nodded to his remark. “I can’t do that. That would be rude anyway but everyone always thinks that so it’s pretty easy to guess what they’re thinking.” I continued to stare in disbelief for a minute before moving on to the next person.

“Hi, I’m Kirby. Nice to meet you!” said an adorable pink puff. He was even cuter than Jigglypuff.

“Nice to meet you too. So what’s your talent?” I couldn’t remember seeing his name online…

“Uh… I don’t wanna tell. It’s my privacy you know…” the pink puff sure knew how to say rude things without sounding rude. Is that his talent?

I approached the blonde girl in a dress. She looked like a pretty princess from a fantasy game.

“Hi, I’m Princess Zelda. I’m the Ultimate Magician.” she had a very beautiful voice to compliment her beauty. But I still couldn’t get over the fact that she was an actual princess. I heard about a class having someone being the Ultimate Princess, King or something like that but I didn’t think I’d have royalty in my class. Now that I think about it her name wasn’t on the list either.

“Hello! I am Captain Falcon! Ultimate Driver at your service!”

“I’m pretty sure there’s nothing for you to drive here.” I replied to the guy wearing a weird suit and a helmet. He seemed annoying and obnoxious so I decided to ignore him, all though I did feel a bit bad. Actually, more than a bit. I went back to talk to him and he told me the story of his first car.

“I’m Fox McCloud the Ultimate Captain. And no, I don’t sail ships.”

“I wasn’t going to ask you that…” I was still staring at him… A bipedal fox wearing a school uniform… I decided to go speak with someone else. If I kept staring, he might get mad at me.

I walked towards a guy with spiky blond hair. I’ve never seen such hair, he must really not care about the laws of physics… He seemed to be in a bad mood, maybe he can’t stand all the mysteries? I’ve never seen him, he wasn’t on the forums either…

“I’m Cloud Strife.”

“Uh, I’m Link… What’s your talent?”

“It’s not like it changes anything to our lives. I’m the Ultimate Mercenary.” Cloud seemed hesitant while saying that for some reason. Is he embarrassed about his talent? I shouldn’t ask, he’ll just get angry.

I then went to talk to the Gorilla. He introduced himself as Donkey Kong the “Ultimate Drummer”. I would’ve talked more with him, if I wasn’t trying to hold in my laugh. I was still processing the fact that I was in the same class as a gorilla. It reminded me of a show I watched in which the police was led by a gorilla… But now’s not the time for that. I still need to meet two persons.

“I’m Pikachu! The Ultimate Mascot. Want to take a selfie with me?” it was a pikachu. If I had pokéballs, I would have tried to catch him. He told me that he had a friend called Red who was attending another branch of Hope’s Peak in the other side of Nintendo. I wondered if the other branch was like this.

The last person I met was a really tall woman dressed in a black uniform. She wore glasses and had really long legs. Have legs always been that long?

“Hello, young boy. I hope your English is good, otherwise you should go ask your mum how to speak to a lady. I am Bayonetta.” she said with her British accent.

“Is that your real name? Bayonetta isn’t an actual name, I think.”

“Who calls their child Link?”

“I guess you’re right…”

After saying that, Ryu gathered everyone to talk about the matter at hand. Seems like everyone woke up in a classroom and noticed the cameras and windows. Some people started to complain about some of their things missing. Samus said she had come with her suit on and Cloud said he had a huge sword with him when he entered. We also came up with some theories about the metal door and about all that had been happening. We were in the middle of a big discussion, when we heard a noise.

“Bing Bong Bing Bong! Mike test! Can all of you hear me? This is a very important announcement! All the students must gather at the gym for the entrance ceremony. Oh and, welcome all to Hope’s Peak Academy!”

We all stood there confused for a minute. Then some students went out of the entrance hall. Only five of us where left. We were scared… It felt as though something bad was going to happen. Why would the school do all of this? It felt useless to just stay in the hall, so we headed out. I passed through the corridor and noticed a red door. It was made of a weird material, looked like what you would find in a fancy car or chair… I continued walking as fast I could. I then arrived at the gym door. I decided to not let my fear weigh me down and opened the door as quick as possible. Nothing seemed out of place. Guess I worried for nothing.

“Everyone is here! Let’s begin!” the voice from the intercom said. I don’t think anyone could have predicted what would happen next…

A floating hand appeared in front of us. We all looked at the floating hand in confusion. In the confusion, I heard someone call the hand a monster.

“I’m not a monster! I’m Master Hand. This school’s headmaster! Nice to meet you all.” Master Hand exclaimed happily. The hand argued with some of the students and he started a monologue.

“I will start the ceremony. You will remember it for the rest of your life! I will talk about your future school life. You bastards are geniuses full of hope. So in order to preserve that hope… You will all live your lives here as a community for the rest of your lives. I hope you all respect each other and get along. You’re stuck here for life!” Everyone looked at him with disbelief. What did he mean by for the rest of our lives? “Don’t worry we have a huge budget!”

“That’s not the problem here…” responded Ryu with his arms crossed.

“He’s lying! This must be a joke. You cannot keep us here for the rest of our lives.” snapped Zelda. She look really disturbed by the news.

“I’m no liar.” He said continuing his monologue. “Anyway, I would just want to tell you, that all contact with the external world is impossible. That’s what the metal windows are for! To keep you from escaping. You all came here from your own free will, so you should be fine with this!”

Everyone went quiet after that.

“However there is a way to get out! A rule I call Graduation. You just gotta break the harmony of the communal life. Then you can leave.”

“What’s this break the harmony?” Kirby wondered and Master Hand snickered in response.

“Killing someone of course. Method doesn’t matter. Are you hope filled kids starting to feel the despair? Because I sure am! This school is your new home and killing is the only way out.” Master Hand continued laughing causing Ryu to get angry. The man grabbed the floating Hand and a beeping sound started playing. Samus yelled at Ryu to throw the hand, he threw it. A ball of energy came out of nowhere and the hand disintegrated. However Master Hand came back like it was nothing.

Master Hand lectured us and gave us all digital ID handbooks. He explained to us how they were indestructible and essential to our new lives. He then gave a speech about how punishment is necessary for offenders and disappeared leaving us more frightened then before. We discussed what we had just heard for quite some time.

“You know what! This is all a joke. It’s obviously a lie” cried out Captain Falcon unable to accept what had just been said.

“That’s not the problem here…” noted Cloud looking away from the others.

“The problem is whether someone here takes this seriously.” added Kirby.

After that comment we stopped making noise. Everything was silent. We just stood in the gym looking at each other in silence. We all started to think about who was taking this seriously… Who had the guts to kill? Who would kill someone just to go out? Who would be the first to betray us?

That’s how this new school life started. This wasn’t the “school of hope” I had wished for.

This place was… This was… It was… It is…

The school of despair.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed the prologue of this brand new story! If you already know Danganronpa and everything that happens, please don’t spoil it to the others. The prologue is similar to the game but the future chapters will be more different. See you guys on the next chapter!

[themoneybuff-blog]

Questions About Checking Accounts, Nintendo Switch, iPods, TSP, and More!

Whats inside? Here are the questions answered in todays reader mailbag, boiled down to summaries of five or fewer words. Click on the number to jump straight down to the question. 1. Great advice for job seekers 2. Old hometown checking account 3. Making your own seasoning mixes 4. Inexpensive Nintendo Switch games 5. Partner has extreme debt 6. TSP contribution questions 7. Uses for old iPod? 8. Job search not that simple 9. Value of authenticating sports cards 10. Financial independence and career plans 11. Advice for selling books 12. True hourly discretionary income question I wanted to offer a little update on my switch to a standing desk for professional purposes. About two weeks ago, I moved my main workstation to a standing desk. The purpose for doing this was to significantly reduce the amount of time I spend sitting in a given day, because sitting for your job all the time has some negative long term health consequences. I did recognize that doing this fully cold turkey is a bad idea, and so I planned from the start to do it in stages. My plan was and still is to use the desk until I felt noticeable discomfort, then switch to a laptop in a chair for a while, then maybe alternate back later in the day. My goal was to simply raise my average time at the standing desk a little each week as I strengthen different muscle groups. After a couple of weeks of doing this, Ive found that the big impact has been on my lower back, with a smaller impact on my feet. Im able to work for about four to five hours a day at the standing desk, with other work time spent sitting in a comfortable chair with a laptop. What generally happens is that my lower back starts to get sore, not in a something is broken way but in a this is a muscle thats getting taxed due to exertion and needs a break way. Ill sit down for a while and itll feel much better. However, its constantly experiencing a low-grade soreness, the kind of soreness that happens when you exercise a muscle group. Theres nothing wrong here if I felt something wrong, I would stop using the standing desk for a while. However, it can be a little uncomfortable. Ive had some very minor foot discomfort, mostly on my heels, but nothing significant and it honestly seems to be fading over the last few days. Its hard to tell yet whether or not the standing desk is improving my health in any notable way. I certainly dont think its been bad, but I havent noticed a big health improvement. I do exercise most days, so thats definitely a positive factor, but its hard to extract the benefits of standing with the other benefits of exercise. I think its very likely that there have been some minor benefits, and I likely would have noticed more if I didnt already exercise. Its all about feeling healthy for as long as possible. On with the questions. Q1: Great advice for job seekers I wanted to share some advice from my own experience as an interviewer [in a large corporate HR department]. The big thing is that you shouldnt be hard on yourself if you interview for a job and dont get it. Often, there is already a candidate that is pre-selected and the interview process is a mere formality. Someone thought you were a good candidate and brought you in, but you didnt actually have a real chance at the job no matter how you interviewed. In fact, you should treat all interviews like that. Dont get stressed about them, because theres a good chance that theres already an anointed candidate. I would say that 75-80% of the time, we already have our minds made up regarding which candidate to hire before the interview process begins and interviews virtually never change our minds. Sometimes we will interview someone great and put them on a list of people to call in the future but almost without fail those people already have a job when we call them back. So please dont be hard on yourself if you dont succeed at an interview! And dont get overly stressed about it because theres a good chance that theres already an anointed candidate anyway. Just go in there and answer the questions and learn about the company and let the chips fall where they may. Alison This is great advice, and in line with some of my own hiring experiences in the past. I have been on all sides of this coin at various points. I have been the anointed candidate in a hiring process. I have also been one of the other candidates in a hiring process (where I knew someone else was anointed for an absolute fact). Ive also been involved with several hirings, some of which had strongly preferred candidates and some of which did not. The thing is, you never really know which kind of situation it is when youre interviewing. It may be a more open position where you actually have a good chance, or it may be a situation where you are one of the other candidates in an open process engineered to bring in the vastly preferred candidate with minimal questions. I think the mantra of dont worry about it is the right one here. Just go in there, answer the questions, ask some questions about the company, and move on and keep looking for the next interview or opportunity. If youre the right candidate, theyll call. Often, you wont be, and it wont be due to a fault of your own. Q2: Old hometown checking account I have left a checking account open at my old hometown bank for the last 20 years. It pays a very small interest rate 0.05%. I have a balance of about $1,200 in there. I have always looked at it as a last ditch emergency fund. If anything seriously goes wrong, Ill go there and use that money. But its just sitting there. Isnt there something better I could be doing with it? Dana I dont think theres anything wrong with having a last ditch emergency fund in a bank thats not easy to access. That idea is fine by me. However, its probably just going to sit there for a long time, so you might want to consider doing something with it that earns a better return. The next time youre in your hometown, stop by that bank and see what other options they have. Simply explain that this is an emergency fund for you and you want it in a place where it earns a little more, doesnt lose value, and could be withdrawn in an emergency but isnt likely to be withdrawn. Its very likely that theyll suggest a certificate of deposit, which is akin to a savings account except that it earns a bit higher interest rate and theres a small penalty for withdrawing it early. It wont take very long at all for the CD to earn more than the penalty for early withdrawal and then, after that, its onwards and upwards. Make sure that the bank allows you to automatically roll over the CD when it matures. Right now, with interest rates a bit higher than they were but still fairly low, Id choose a medium term CD, something in the range of one to two years. That will give you a higher interest rate than a short term CD but wont lock you in to these relatively low historical rates forever. Set it to automatically roll over, then forget about it until that last ditch emergency occurs. Q3: Making your own seasoning mixes Have you ever written an article about making your own seasoning mixes instead of buying mixes at the store? You can buy the component spices and mix them yourself and save a lot of money if you use seasonings a lot. I make an Italian seasoning and a chili seasoning and a toast seasoning myself. Margaret Toast seasoning? Youre going to have to send me that one. I have a bagel seasoning mix that I like to use on buttered toast sometimes I wonder if theyre similar. Although Ive mentioned seasoning mixes before and noted how its cheaper to make your own, I dont think Ive ever written a listing of the various spice mixes we have and how we store them. I store most of my spice mixes in large baby food jars that we still have from when our children were babies. I usually make them by mixing other spices by the teaspoon into a bowl and then stirring them thoroughly so theyre mixed, then I fill up the jar with the spice mix. I use masking tape for labeling. Using a mix is a learning experience. Over time, you start figuring out how much to put in stuff. Our chili mix, for example, usually takes a tablespoon and a half per batch, and a batch fills up our slow cooker about halfway. I could write a full post about this if theres interest, including some of my recipes. Just send me a message on Facebook if youd like to see that. Q4: Inexpensive Nintendo Switch games My husband and I bought our son a Nintendo Switch for Christmas. It is his first video game console and he had been asking for it all year so it was really fun to see him open it. Both sets of grandparents got him a game for it so he has had two games to play. His birthday is coming up soon and we asked him what he wanted and of course he wanted a Switch game. We asked him for a list of the ones he wanted and it has 15 or so games on it. The problem is that they are all $50 or more. Why are Switch games so expensive? Our full birthday gift budget for him is $50. Can you help? Anna This is a consistent challenge with Nintendos consoles, and it has been since the 1980s. Nintendo makes very high quality exclusive titles for their consoles those are usually the ones that wind up filling wish lists for console owners but they rarely go down in price until later in the consoles production cycle and the Switch is a pretty young system. Trust me your son isnt being greedy here. Hes probably listing most of the best games for the console, but they all happen to be expensive ones. I would guess that in a year or two, Nintendo will have a line of some of their top titles from a few years prior as Platinum titles for a much lower price point around $20 but were not there yet. So what can you do now? My recommendation is to visit a video game store that sells used games, like Gamestop, and see what they have available for the Switch thats used. Switch games, as you know, come on small cartridges, so its very easy to test a game to make sure it works you can ask them to test it before you buy. Getting a game used in the original packaging will still cost 50% to 75% of the sticker price and the selection may be a bit limited, but this is probably a fairly safe bet for getting one of the games he wants within your price point. A used Switch game is just as good as a new one in terms of someone focused on actually playing the games, so Id look there. Another approach would be to give him a gift card to the Nintendo eShop. There are a lot of very good downloadable titles for the Switch, and you use those gift cards to buy those downloadable titles. While this wouldnt give him any of the games he specifically wants, it would enable him to get a couple of games at least, and there are some very good games for $9.99 or less on the eShop. Q5: Partner has extreme debt I recently discovered that my bride-to-be (June) has about $140K in student loan debt. She had said that she had some student loans in the past but I did not have any idea how much. I am very uncomfortable with being saddled with that much debt. This has caused a great deal of conflict between us over the last few months and I found this out during the holidays. I am not sure what to do. Daniel The biggest factor Id look at is her day to day behavior right now. Is she a frugal person? Does she watch her nickels and dimes? Is she committed not in words but in actions to getting that debt paid off? Is she making extra payments on that debt? If you see that, then I wouldnt fret about it. On the other hand, if she seems to think that such a big debt isnt a big deal, she spends money frivolously all the time, and she isnt making much progress on that debt I would think very, very carefully about this relationship, because thats a value mismatch thats going to chafe for years and years. Beyond that, I would also consider what kind of field that her degree is in. Was the degree she earned in a field with a high income potential, or was it something that will never earn a substantial income? Also, Id look at other factors, like whether or not parental support was promised and then denied. If shes aiming for a high paying career, such as medicine or law or some types of engineering, I wouldnt worry too much about it. If she took out that much debt for a career path that has a very low likelihood of earning a high salary, I would be really concerned. I would also be concerned with that level of debt if there was also significant financial support from her parents where did all of that money go? The challenge with marriage is that you are financially tied to each other in a very deep way and her choices regarding the debt she took out for her education are indicative of the decision making process she will likely employ going forward except now youll be financially liable for them. Having that much debt unless you are both high income earners will significantly affect your life decisions for a very long time, likely for the rest of your life. It will delay your ability to have children that you can support financially, for starters. It will alter both of your career choices and possibilities. It will delay your ability to have a home of your own. I guess, in this situation, what I would really look for are signs of financial maturity beyond that of the student loans. Is she focused on repaying that debt with or without you? Is she making the most of her degree? Does she spend frivolously? I cant answer for you whether this woman is worth it to you. She may be perfect for you in every other way, in which case youll be happier with her. However, having that much student loan debt, and given the alarm bells it sets off in your head, is a sign of likely incompatibility over financial issues, and thats not a recipe for a great marriage. As always, conversation is key, as is paying attention to her actions. What kind of steps is she taking (not just talking about, but taking) in her life knowing that huge debt is sitting there? If youre struggling to answer that and this debt makes you this uncomfortable, this may not be the best situation for you. Q6: TSP contribution questions I am 36 years old, single, no children, no plans to ever marry. I just got a government job that I hope to keep for the rest of my life. Knowing that I am receiving FERS and Social Security already in retirement, how much should I contribute to my TSP to be able to have a comfortable retirement?Want to retire at 65 and have about the same amount of disposable income when I retire. Janine For those unfamiliar, FERS is the pension plan for US federal government employees. TSP is an optional 401(k)-like plan for additional retirement savings. Based on this, FERS should provide about 33% of your final salary when you retire. Social Security, depending on your income level, will provide somewhere around 30% of your income. That means you need to make up about 37% of your income from TSP. If you contribute 5% of your salary to TSP, the federal government matches another 4%. Above that, theres no matching. Given all of that information, I ran some back of the envelope calculations and conclude that given your age and your aim to retire at age 65 with your full salary intact from your various retirement sources and that you want to be able to draw from TSP for the rest of your life, you should contribute 15% of your salary to TSP. This should enable you to withdraw enough from TSP each year to make up your salary shortfall when you retire at age 65 and the TSP balance should last for the rest of your life. Youll want to invest TSP fairly aggressively the target retirement options should work. While I cant guarantee that 15% will get you there, I can certainly say that it is extremely likely that it will either get you there or get you very close to your goal. Q7: Uses for old iPod? Found an old iPod in a desk drawer along with charging cable. Is there any use for this or should I just junk it? I powered it up and it turns on just fine. Adam I dont own an original iPod (I had one way back in the day but I sold it off circa 2007-2008), but a friend of mine keeps one in her car and listens to music with it every day using a cassette tape adapter. You could do the same thing with an auxiliary cable if your car has an AUX port. Just load it up with mp3s of a bunch of music and/or podcasts that you like, keep it in your car, and listen to it during commutes. If you have a charger that hooks into the cigarette lighting receptacle in your car, then you can plug into that and keep it permanently charged. My friend has hundreds of albums that she loved in her teens and twenties. If you like alternative or indie rock from about 1990 to about 2007, theres a good chance youll find a ton to love on her iPod. Just fill yours up to the brim with stuff you like and youll always have something to listen to. You can fill it up with the full archives of a podcast and listen to the entire run of a podcast, too. Old iPods are great for these kinds of things. In other words, use it for what it was intended for. Load it up with audio. Q8: Job search not that simple While I appreciate your regular encouragement to go find a new job if your current one is sapping you, its not always that simple. I have been working as a legacy systems programmer for the same company for 16 years. Most of my day is maintaining old code, migrating it to new machines, and dealing with corporate [nonsense]. I literally hate going into work each day. There arent any available jobs nearby that match my skill set. Trust me, Ive looked. I cant move because my daughter has particular health care needs and needs to be near a top notch medical facility. That also means I need good insurance. I cant just go into work and say, Well, time to find a new job today! Thats just a pipe dream. Terry All right, so what jobs are available in your area that are close to your skill set? Youre obviously in a metro area of some kind. I guarantee there are programming jobs in that area. Whats actually available? What things are most similar to your skillset? Once you know that, start honing your skillset at work so that you can make that leap. Learn how to write tools that will help you with the legacy coding you already do. Start trying to port your legacy code over to a new language for modern systems during your downtime. Use this as an opportunity to learn new languages and paradigms. Get involved with any and all local software development groups. Try to go to their face to face meetings and get heavily involved in any online spaces they have, being as helpful as you possibly can there. Build up some good relationships in your field, then just casually ask about positions that match your refurbished skill set. Also, keep your resume honed on LinkedIn so you can be discovered by people who might be looking for folks in your area. Dont aim for hopelessness. Aim for a light at the end of the tunnel. You can do this at any job. I had a job where I was literally shoveling dirt for hours and hours during the middle of the night by myself and yet I found ways to aim that toward my next step. Q9: Value of authenticating sports cards I have a bunch of sports cards mostly baseball and basketball from the 1960s. I have looked at selling some of them individually but when I look online almost all sales are authenticated cards in a special holder. I looked into this and it looks like you send your cards to an authentication service and pay them a fee and they put them in a special plastic holder with a tag that says its authentic and gives it a grade for its condition. Is this worth it for selling trading cards? Are there ways to sell cards without this kind of service? Marvin You basically described the sports card authentication world pretty well. It exists because there was rampant fraud in older sports cards and other trading cards for a while, so some reputable dealers popped up and started offering authentication and grading services so that people would know exactly what they were buying. Its become the de facto standard for any sports cards of significant value. Basically, if the card is older than about 1975 or so, the player has any name recognition at all, and the card is in reasonably good shape, youre going to make more money selling it after authentication than before, even including the cost of authentication. If its a no-name player or its beat up, youre not going to make a whole lot for it anyway, as people will just want those to help complete sets and they wont sell for more than pennies. What Id do is look for Hall of Fame caliber player cards from your collection (or, as a friend of mine said, Hall of Famers plus Pete Rose) and get those authenticated to sell individually. The rest, Id just divide out by set and sell in bulk. (I have an almost complete 1965 Topps set missing just a few commons that Ive worked on for literally decades, so Im fairly familiar with all of this.) Q10: Financial independence and career plans So how much financial independence would a person need to be able to have full career independence where you still want to have a career but you just feel empowered to make whatever choice seems exciting to you without really worrying about salary but still assuming youre earning a decent salary to live on? I make about $80K and think I can live well on about $40K so my savings rate is about 30% after taxes. How many years would I have to do this before money exits the equation as a career consideration? Barney I think the real question youre asking is how much do I need to save so that retirement is fully covered? This calculator is probably my preferred one. Youll want to play around with different settings to see how long youll need to save to hit your goals. The further you are from retirement, the lower your total savings goal will be. Also, if you assume Social Security benefits will come to you at rates similar to whats available today, the lower your total savings goal will be. You may even be at your target in several years. However, Id still recommend that you save for retirement after you hit your goal number if youre earning a good salary. This allows you to walk away even earlier if you just get tired of the rat race before a typical retirement age. Q11: Advice for selling books I have a collection of hardback books I want to sell. What is the best way to get maximum value for them? Tracy First of all, it depends a lot on what books youre exactly trying to sell. Are they novels? Cookbooks? Old Dungeons and Dragons books? Encyclopedias? Youll want to go to eBay and try to get a sense as to what theyre actually worth. You will probably get the maximum value from them by selling them individually. However, that is exponentially more work for only a fairly modest rate of return. You might be able to sell a lot of ten books for $20 or sell them each individually for $3, for example. Is that extra effort in packaging and shipping and tracking and communication for nine additional packages worth the $10 to you? Another note: if youre selling books, USPS Media Mail is your friend. Its a highly discounted shipping rate that applies to sending books through the mail, and it comes with a tracking number. (Its cheap because its slow and USPS knows a book can sit in a warehouse for a day with zero problems.) You should always use this when shipping books and magazines. Q12: True hourly discretionary income question I understand how this perspective helps to highlight the high cost of non-necessary spending now in terms of lost leisure in the future. But I think it overstates the cost of non-necessities in terms of hours worked. In your example where your annual net wage is $34,000 and your annual work hours is 2,740 (so you net $12.41 per hour worked) and your necessities cost $24,600/year, you should account for 1,982 work hours (= $24,600/$12.41 per hour) as covering necessities, leaving 2,740 1982 = 758 hours for non-necessities. In each of those 758 hours, you net $12.41/hour, and that is the cost of your necessities in terms of hour worked. So a $50 board game costs you $50/$12.41 per hour = 4 hours, not 10.5 hours. The key is to see that you still actually net $12.41/hour, regardless of whether those earnings go to necessities or non-necessities. One way to see this is to realize that the approach in the post can lead to unrealistic implications for the hours of work required to purchase non-necessities. For example, suppose in your example above, necessities are only $10,000 year, and non-necessary spending is then $34,000 $10,000 = $24,000. If your hourly wage for non-necessities is really $4.96/hour like the post says, then it would take $24,000/$4.96 per hour = 4,838 hours to earn that $24,000. But you earned the $34,000 with only 2,740 hours, so something is wrong. Max Max is referring to this article from last week, Using Your True Hourly Discretionary Income to Make Smarter Purchases. Youre just looking at the same issue in a different way. Rather than looking at each hour as being subdivided between essential expenses and non-essential expenses, youre doing the same thing with the total hours over a year. In that example, then, 1,741 of the hours you work essentially earn you nothing in terms of spending money, because all of it goes to essentials. So, frugality in essence just means that youre migrating some of the hours you work from your pool of hours spent on essential expenses to the hours you work for spending money. My angle was different. I divided the income from each hour into essential expenses and spending money. The essential expenses gobble up $7.45 of the $12.41 you earn each hour, while your spending money makes up only $4.96 of the $12.41 you earn each hour. So, then, you judge whether an expense is worth it using just the $4.96, since its the only portion you can actually freely spend. In this case, frugality moves a little bit of money from the $7.45 essential expenses per hour pile to the $4.96 spending money per hour pile. Got any questions? The best way to ask is to follow me on Facebook and ask questions directly there. Ill attempt to answer them in a future mailbag (which, by way of full disclosure, may also get re-posted on other websites that pick up my blog). However, I do receive many, many questions per week, so I may not necessarily be able to answer yours. https://www.thesimpledollar.com/questions-about-checking-accounts-nintendo-switch-ipods-tsp-and-more/

[dandelliongirl]

It’s April tomorrow

and spring has sprung!

The season is changing slowly but surely... Too slowly for my current liking though.

Ha - I did manage a March blog post (it’s the 31st today). Overall the entire month of March dragged on for a needlessly long time with nothing too exciting going on so I didn’t particularly feel like blogging. My guy and I have been to two dance rehearsals for my graduation ball in May so far and it has been a lot of fun. I’ve loved being silly and goofing around with him. He did the dances a total of 3 times in high school (his friends’, his own and mine) and mine was only 7-ish years ago so both of us know the steps pretty well from memory. I don’t know if dance rehearsal is as much fun for him as it is for me but I’ve been loving spending time with him. My outfit for the ball is almost finished. My top for the evening needs to be sewn together and the hemline of the skirt cut and finished to be the right length. I just got shoes last week and ordered my graduation ring so everything should be in order.

I did my gig judging the dance competition in February and it was an interesting experience. I liked seeing all the choreographies but the juding process was needlessly complicated with a long form that all of us 3 judges had to fill in for each competing group. In addition we only had from 30 seconds to a couple of minutes between each performance so I felt like I couldn’t really give any actual constructive criticism. Also we had to decide on the winners in less than 10 minutes, which was pretty stressful. In the end we all agreed but it was really difficult and my hand hurt for many days after from writing so much and so fast.

My guy’s friend from Japan visited us for a week at the end of February. The boys spent a lot of time together and I spent time with mum. We went and got facials together, and I celebrated a friend’s birthday making brownies with her. Mum had her second big surgery on the 27th but it went better this time around and dad was on his spring break so he could pick her up and bring her home early.

March was a very busy month at work. The good kind of busy though. The kind that makes me feel important and doesn’t give me time to question being hired to do nothing. We’ve been training faculty coordinators and helping them create timetables for the upcoming academic year. I’ve been in charge of these trainings and I really love it. I love helping people and coming up with solutions to their problems. Whenever the coordinators apologise for the inconvenience of their stupid questions and their constant complaining regarding the new data systems I like to tell them that as long as they have questions and complaints I have a job. Their bitching is paying my mortgage and I know it’s directed at the system not at me, so I really don’t mind. It’s completely understandable and most issues these people have are issues I’ve discovered myself and agree with completely. So all in all I’m really grateful to be in the job I’m in for two more years. I’m still looking forward to summer break though and all the exciting springtime events like Easter break, dance recitals and the big official conferment of degrees. I have felt like everything’s at a standstill so I’m hoping spring will pick up it’s pace.

My friend is currently on her first 3 week trip to Japan. I’m super happy for her but it does make me miss Japan terribly. Last year at this time I was over there enjoying the warmth and the beauty of the cherry blossoms. I’m already planning to go back, hopefully next spring. I’m obsessively updating my friend’s instagram feed to see when she’ll be posting pictures from her trip. I gave her a list (and a reference picture) of some Sanrio products I want her to try and get me from there and I’m really hoping she can find at least some of it.

Ballet is still a struggle. Now that my friend (the one who’s in Japan right now) only goes once a week and I have no other real friends there I have no motivation and literally have to force myself to go. Not that I don’t enjoy ballet itself but it’s frustrating because I feel like we’re not making any progress and we’re stuck repeating the same things over and over. Also we’re still stuck in the stupid regular gym hall with those few crappy portable mirrors and either the wall bars/ladders or portable bars. I want to see what I’m doing, I want friends and I want new challenges. I’m glad we only have two months until summer.

I’ve started working on a bit of a book project. It’s more like a collection of essays regarding various topics that are relevant to me and my life than a book but I’ve wanted to collect my thoughts for a while now and since I’ll be turning 25 in a few weeks I thought it’d be cool to write down a collection of thoughts to celebrate a quarter of a century. I’ve been loving reading and writing now that I don’t have to do it for school/uni. I’ve already planned a somewhat of a structure for it and written down some ideas and topics. Today I’m planning to start with the first essay, which will be about me and who I am as a 25 year old. The project will span my entire 25th year so I’m definitely not trying to finish by my birthday.

My guy has spent this weekend visiting his parents. His dad is working hard on his electoral campaign for the parliament so my guy wanted to go see how it’s going. My guy is going to be working as an election officer on the actual election day.

With my guy being gone I’ve also spent the weekend with my parents. Yesterday we went to the grocery store and visited the cottage for a campfire and roasted sausages. Dad and I went  on a 40-ish minute snowshoe walk and it was a lot of fun. I got to explore parts of the forest I would otherwise never go to because during the summer it’s filled with mosquitoes, snakes and scratchy shrubbery. This was a whole new realm for me and I haven’t been on snowshoes since I was probably like 9 years old or younger. Nature really has a calming effect and I could feel the stress I didn’t even know I was holding onto melt away as I navigated between the branches and fallen trees. My new sleeping cottage is supposed to be finished by Easter and I absolutely can’t wait to get to take in the furniture, start decorating the place and plant flowers. It seems like such a far away future in which it’ll be summer and I’ll be reading books, playing Animal Crossing and taking naps in my new cottage.. It’s been over a year now since the project started and I cannot wait to have it finished...

Dad bought me my 6th Maileg bunny from the flea market this Saturday. His name is Basil and he’s my birthday present. Dad got all 5 of my Mailegs from Sweden whenever he went on his annual fishing trip but it’s been more than ten years since my collection grew. I brought my old clothes that grandmum made my original bunny (the one called Rose whom my little sleeping cottage was named after) and I can’t wait to get them in some fresh outfits.

Today dad and I went for what was probably our last ski trip this season. It was a nice and warm day and we spent almost an hour out on skis but it was really messy from all the pine needles and twigs and the snow was much more like slush with occasional ice fields than snow. In any case I got some fresh air and exercise and that felt nice. I woke up really early today to vacuum the house and put up Easter decorations before going skiing with dad and so today feels really productive. I love weekends like this that feel both relaxing and productive. And I’m proud for getting up early despite daylight savings!

We still have no news on Animal Crossing Switch.. The fandom seems to be holding out hopes for an April direct before Reggie retires as president of Nintendo of America, and because Nintendo doesn’t usually go without a direct before E3, but I’m not holding my breath. The only thing I’m hoping for regarding the new game, is that local multiplayer, visiting dream towns and having at least one person visit you over the internet would be possible without the switch online service bullshit. I’m sure local wireless will be possible. As for the rest I’m not too hopeful.. I’d be fine with having to pay to access 8 people online multiplayer as long as I could keep trading turnips with one person and not pay 40€ a year for it... I also don’t want Animal Crossing to change too drastically. I just want a better New Leaf with more customisation, new items, bigger towns and better villager interactions... I also want to be rewarded for my ACPC grind in some way.. Anyway, in the meantime I’ve been enjoying some Sims 4. For the first time since I was a child I’ve been playing through an actual story. It’s the story of a young adult called Theodore (Theo), who moved away from home to start working as a bartender and gain money to win custody of her teenage sister Journey. She adopted Journey and they lived together in a very crappy starter home for a while, but I just moved them into a two bedroom house in Willow Creek, and renovated Journey’s bedroom into the cute teenager room she deserves. Journey works hard as an A student and a fast food employee. She just got a boyfriend and she’s a hopeless romantic (and loves cats). Theo also got a boyfriend and I think he’s going to be moving in as soon as we get some more money to renovate the house a bit and build Theo a greenhouse. Eventually the girls are also going to adopt a cat for Journey and Theo is going to have a child. I’m thinking I might buy City Living next summer so that Journey and her boyfriend can move out and start their own life in San Myshuno. I’m excited to have a rags-to-riches type story that I’m playing without cheats and with characters I’m invested in. I’ve been so bad at coming up with actual storylines and have stuck with build/buy for years this feels like a whole new game for me.

Wow that was a long bit about Sims there. I’ve been writing for almost an hour now. It’s time to go meal prep and make myself a pasta salad for next week. Then I’ll start my essay collection and then I’ll play some more Sims. My guy isn’t coming back until late this evening so I get some more time off. Happy April! ♥

[zeroviraluniverse-blog]

First look: Atari VCS | TechRadar

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First look: Atari VCS | TechRadar

It’s fair to say that Atari caused quite a stir last year when it announced its first console in over 20 years, the Atari VCS – or, as it was known back then, simply the Ataribox. 

It was a bold move and not something you’d expect to see from a company that has bought, sold, resurrected and revamped a half dozen times since its original founder left the company in 1978. 

Choosing to move forward with the expensive, capricious venture of developing a console, has been – for lack of a better analogy – two steps forward, one step back ever since.

Through the stumbling blocks, though, the company has produced a working sample – a Linux-based PC that incorporates an undisclosed AMD processor, an unspecified amount of memory and a yet-to-be-confirmed hard drive. It will focus on games, as you’d expect any console to do, but Atari hasn’t determined which games, exactly, that would include. 

It will offer voice commands built into the console  itself through a system Atari just isn’t ready to disclose and, according to most of the executive leadership team at Atari, will likely be closer to an Atari-branded PC than a traditional console with a bespoke interface.

Beyond those few vague details, things become very murky. 

“It might play the original Call of Duty but it might not play the latest Call of Duty, we’re just not sure yet,” says Michael Arzt, COO of Atari. “I can’t give you what percentage we are to completion … that’s something that’s very subjective and we’d rather underpromise and overdeliver.”

“It will be somewhere in between an Nvidia Shield and the Nintendo Switch,” Frederic Chesnai, Atari’s CEO, assures us. “In terms of specs, obviously, not in functionality.” 

It’s like this with every specific question you ask. There’s an answer, but it’s vague, given without specifics intentionally so that Atari can pivot should things not fall into place.

“It’s still moving forward,” Arzt says, “It’s going to be great. We will try to share things when we can share things.” Then, a few minutes later, he adds, “But there’s still a lot of work to do.”

So what has actually been completed?

Walking away from our meeting with Atari it seems as though the only three aspects to have truly and fully been locked down are the name, Atari VCS, the outer shell of the console and where Atari sees this fitting into the crowded market of micro-consoles, streaming video boxes, Steam Machines, consoles and low-end PCs – somewhere smack-dab in the middle. Well, hopefully, at least.

“There have been some pain points with how people use some of these platforms. The Atari VCS will seek to alleviate those,” Arzt says. Though, when asked how exactly it would achieve that, Arzt could only say that it’s part of the platform’s secret sauce that it will reveal at some point down the road when the company feels more comfortable.

The better answer from Arzt and Chesnai is that it’s not necessarily a console or a streaming box, but an Atari-branded PC for the living room. There will be some bespoke elements to it, like a storefront that Atari will use to sell games from its collection, but beyond that, most of the functionality you’d expect a console to have – like video streaming – will likely be derived from the VCS’ ability to access a web browser built into the PC. 

We were able to see the prototype of the console for the first time at GDC. As Atari teased in press images back in December, the system is a blend of faux-wood front paneling and a curvaceous plastic shell with row upon row of cut-away plastic. Around the back you can find USB, ethernet and HDMI ports, though, Atari says you’ll be able to connect to the system withmost modern technologies, including Bluetooth and built-in Wi-Fi.

Also unveiled for the first time at GDC were the two new controllers – one very modern, almost Xbox-like gamepad and a more traditional Atari 2600-style joystick. Arzt says that they’re working with “well-known” peripheral makers on these products and offered that the joystick on the table at Atari’s hotel suite was a working engineering sample. (The box and the second controller were not working, unfortunately, but both Arzt and Chesnai says that working samples of those exist, though neither are ready to be sent out to developers yet.)

The last component that Atari appears to be committed to at this point is voice control. Without it, Chesnai feels like the system would be obsolete in the next five years as more and more voice functionality becomes common not only in consoles, but in your TV, too. 

As far as rock-solid, definite components of the Atari VCS go, that’s all we’ve got for now.

The road-map for the Atari VCS

While the specifics of the Atari VCS are still as nebulous as they were the day the console was announced, one thing that has grown over time is Atari’s claim of what the system will be capable of doing when it arrives. 

In the perfect world, when Atari VCS launches, the company would like it to be a multimedia machine that seamlessly integrates into your living room. It will offer you a catalogue of games that you might’ve grown up with or played on an arcade machine, alongside new titles that Atari would build themselves. In this vision, there are platform-exclusives that will help differentiate the VCS from a standard, Linux-based PC, and third-party titles – some of which you might’ve played elsewhere before.

You’ll be able to use your console as a streaming device to watch 4K content from YouTube, Netflix and others, all of which will have been optimized for the system – even if they might not get their own dedicated app straightaway.

In this scenario, you’ll be using the joypad for some games, the controller for others and if at any point you feel the urge to switch over to a standard mouse and keyboard, that option will be made available to you – it is, after all, a Linux-based PC. 

The console that Atari envisions will cost somewhere between $250 and $300 (£175 to £200, AU$300 to AU$400), a price that the company will have firmed up once the specs are finalized. 

The path from where the console is now to where they want it to be is long, Arzt and Chesnai agree, but not impossible. The vision for creating the console was the hardest part, and now it just comes down to putting in the work to get the system from Point A to Point B. 

A tale of two consoles

It’s hard to reconcile the differences between the platform Atari envisions and the one we saw at this week’s Game Developers Conference. Some of the seeds of Atari’s ideas are there, sure, but at this point they’re just seeds that aren’t anywhere close to bearing fruit. 

What might appear on the outside as a well-oiled machine, looks, sounds and seems to me like a passion project undertaken by a company who cares deeply about engaging a new audience – one who expects games (and game consoles) to match what they’re used to seeing on modern consoles and PCs. 

A very large part of that feeling is that where Microsoft, Nintendo and Sony might have development staff of hundreds of engineers, designers and programmers working around the clock in all corners of the globe on their next big gaming console, Atari has only a few dozen – including the contractors hired to help bring the console to life. 

The other part is that Atari itself isn’t very confident in the final product. 

One of the reasons the team didn’t push forward with pre-orders back in December is that they weren’t ready to start holding onto money with the expectation that there would, at some point in the near future, be a final playable product. 

I’m not audacious enough of a journalist to claim that the console is going to live up to the plans Atari has laid on the table for its wonderfully weird console, nor am I pessimistic enough to say that it’s vaporware. It’s something in between, and appears to teeter back and forth depending on the questions you ask on a given day.

The answer to what the Atari VCS is – really and truly – will just have to wait.

We’re on the ground at the Game Developers Conference (GDC) in San Francisco this week covering the latest in gaming, from mobile and consoles to VR headsets. Catch up on all the latest from GDC 2018 so far!