#Night At The Museum Incorrect Quote
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psstwantsomecheese · 3 months ago
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Maglor: My father made me and my brothers swear to take back these silmarils some centuries ago, entrusting us with the Noldor's most prized possession
Elrond: Does it do anything?
Maglor: Do anything?
Elros: Yeah. What's the point if it doesn't do anything?
Maglor: Actually Varda hallowed these gems so that no mortal or evil may touch it
Elros: No really what's it do?
Maglor: ... Nothing. It's just for decoration
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rose-l-20 · 2 months ago
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GENERAL NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM HEADCANONS - Main 7 characters
SUMMARY: Just some headcanons I have always had based on the characters and the way the movie portrays them.
If you would like to request more characters, please refer to my NATM MASTERLIST for the characters, and send your request!
WARNINGS: Fluff, angst, romance, discussions of trauma, funny moments, flashbacks, mentions of loss, mentions of betrayal, mentions of homesickness, reader is mentioned a bit. My opinions! 😱
Any facts I wasn't sure of I used wiki fandom!
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AHKMENRAH:
As many people have suggested, Ahk is a HUGE cat person. Before he was left in the sarcophagus for 4000 years, he had 100s and 1000s of cats. Different breads, both female and male, long royal names for each one. But his favourite will always be his childhood cat that started his love for the feline animal.
Out of all characters, Ahk experiences the most homesickness. This could be because he was barely 18 before he died, so he still has a touch of childhood in his soul.
Always ready and eager to learn something new, or info dump on the closest set of ears. When he gets with reader, he waits patiently for the “safe zone” to spill every fact about his time. Also things he read in books at Cambridge and the museum. You could call him a broken tap!
One way that calms him down is humming nursery rhymes, and songs his Mother used to sing to him. The main time it works impeccably is when he thinks of his brother’s betrayal.
Since the tablet was first created, his (along with his family) soul has always had a strong connection to night. So he goes to the roof top, or a window and star gazes anytime he can.
Ahkmenrah will defend the Kardashian and Jenner women until the end of time (if you know, you know 😂).
When he is introduced to chocolate, Garlic bread, sour gummy candies and Iced water. He felt like he met heaven.
Is very serious, yet still his usual gentle and kind self, when it comes to romantic relationships. He will take each step at a time, really wanting to get to know his potential partner. Consent Pharaoh, drinks his “I respect women” juice, will ask you to be his officially at the four month mark, and will not kiss your lips until you are official.
Absolutely dreads sunrise, as the wraps take as he would say “a whole millennium” to get them back on. At the beginning he would get Teddy and Larry to help him, but it becomes a special thing between him and reader.
Ahk most likely feels the most safe and comfortable around Larry, as he has moments where he needs advice or guidance from a father figure.
Ahkmenrah loves a good, lighthearted, non offensive prank. When he and Nick hang out, chaos will follow.
Both Sacagawea and Ahkmenrah supported each other when getting adjusted to not being trapped in their exhibits. This started their friendship.
When he became a DJ, he felt his death age the most. He found a passion that he could learn, perfect and show it off to the people he cares most about
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OCTAVIUS:
Octavius talks about Rome so much that he definitely fits the stereotype of “you make your background your whole personality”. He will get defensive if the stereotype is mentioned.
If he and Jed were to be parents, they would 100% have adopted 2 Girls and 2 boys. Octavius would surprisingly be the fun Dad.
Before Larry, he had a massive hatred towards the night guards. He was fine with being locked up, he had his comrades. What angered him was the derogatory comments made by the guards. It took months upon months to wake up and not be filled with immediate dread.
He is a BIG chick flick fan! He also loves the whole concept of Christmas, so his favourite flick would be Love Actually.
He can read Dexter like an open book. he learns the signs of Dexter’s cheeky behavior to avoid another “Pompeii” situation.
Each time he hears any sword noises he smiles to himself and whispers to himself, “Ah Rome, you were a wonderful empire to be apart of”
He is also an avid info dumper, so there can be hours of time where he and Ahkmenrah bond over their “ancient times”. The 2 find so many similarities and differences that leave them fascinated to learn more.
The Cowboy hat rule, also applies for his helmet. And he will only take it off for extended periods of time if Jedediah is present. This is because he would kill for a head scratch.
Octavius will slip into Latin whenever he is feeling intense levels of emotion (positive). The amount of times it has happened, has resulted in everyone, including reader, being able to understand the language and somewhat communicate.
He uses the Latin version of pet names for Jed. He mainly uses “Amica mea” (my love), “Puer meus vacca” (my cowboy), “Solis radius” (sun ray) and “Mutum Asinum” (dumb ass).
Octavius is the type to bottle his emotions when something has deeply upset him. It takes a lot to get him to take the cap off and explain why he is feeling the way he is.
Octavius is super supportive of other religions and cultures. Which is super rare given Romans pride themselves on their religion and culture above everything.
When Octavius discovered the front desks computer, he immediately (with great struggle since the apparatus had not been made yet) he became so obsessed with it you could call him a teenager. He honestly gatekept it for ages before he found something that Jedediah would like and then it became their fun activity before sunrise.
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JEDEDIAH:
Jedediah definitely has ADHD to a certain degree (This is coming from someone who is definitely has it but has yet to be officially diagnosed 😂), and has to be redirected to the main topic at least 3 times a day.
When he was trapped in the hourglass by Kahmunrah, he did everything in his power to cause havoc. Jedediah wasn't stuck with Kahmunrah, Kahmunrah was stuck with Jedediah!!
When Octavius showed him he computer, he consumed every piece of western media as he wanted to know how people perceived his time period.
He gets along with everyone, and only hates people if they have treated the people he cares about in a negative way. He is more then willing to take the blame or pain for others.
Jed will take a secret to his grave, but he will sometimes tell Octavius so technically they will be taking it to the grave. He will not tell him if the person who confided in him, was going through a difficult time. He understands boundaries...to a certain extent.
Jed is a HUGE foodie, and has a tendency to say "are you going to finish that?" even if the person eating is literally chewing their food. he would kill for anything that has an element of bread. Hence why he doesn't shut up about flapjacks.
His way of showing he is really angry or upset is going completely, utterly, eerily silent. It honestly makes people get the creeps, since they are so used to his upbeat usual self.
He can feel lost at times in regards to being a museum exhibit. He has organic thoughts of the future, but then he remembers he's a miniature figurine and feels this overwhelming sense of identity dysphoria. Reader (who is either another night guard or a child of a staff member) helps him feel more human, with a sense of purpose.
His favourite western movie is Tombstone, and quotes "I'm your Huckleberry" whenever people call for him. it brings him immense joy.
In his time, I see him having a female dog named Bonnie and a male cat named Blaize. He mentions this to Larry and he sends in a request at the sculpting department to make them for him. Larry makes sure no detail is left unadded. When Jedediah wakes up 2 nights later he is greeted with the familiar bark, and meow that he remembered so clearly.
Jed has an assigned swear jar and adds to it 20+ times a night.
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ATTILA:
ATTILA IS INSANLY GOOD WITH KIDS! He has that scene at the end of the second movie, which backs me up here. But even before then I got this vibe that if you accidently left your child near his exhibit, he would be the Tony Stark of the museum and think "Get me the adoption papers now!".
When Attila and the Huns discovered Harry potter, they became obsessed as it fits their belief in magic. They have watched all seven movies a concerning amount of time each.
Attila was a huge help with getting Ahkmenrah adjusted to his new normal. When he first noticed Ahk's struggles he didn't think twice before he put a hand on his shoulder, asked him to go for a walk and got him to open up. He is like the uncle you go to when your parents "Just don't get it!".
Attila 100% has a RIWTKYF, "Resting I Want To Kill You Face". This has been one of many reasons why some of his friendships with the other exhibits took a while to come to fruition.
When Nick was still young, he politely asked Attila if he could try on his helmet. Larry tried to lecture him, stating "It is sacred Nick, that is not ok". Larry received a slap to the back of the head by Attila, with a "Shush". He placed the Helmet on Nicks head and told the Huns "He is the leader for the night!". Nick Had a blast to say the least.
Speaking of Attila's Helmet, he has heard a lot of drama sessions from Jed and Octavius. sometimes he joins in, sometimes he is happy to just listen.
Attila lowkey can't stand the Neaderthal's constant "FIRE FIRE FIRE" sometimes. He can hear it either next to him or down the hallway and it gives him a serious headache. Ahk will offer his exhibit for some relief.
Before Attila passed away he had just been married, so he often wonders what happened to his wife and misses her deeply. Larry and reader enjoy reading books to him, so he knows about her life. He left the room with a smile that didn't quite meet his eyes.
Teddy and Attila definitely have conversations/interactions that show they are stuck in their 40s/50s. I'm talking getting frustrated with technology, not understanding modern day slang, saying "Back in my day" and the "Dad grunt".
If Attila discovered music, he would LOVE the band The Village people, his favourite song is "In the navy". He asks Larry or reader to put the song on by pointing to the computer saying "Navy please".
Attila had the hardest time adjusting to waking up from the tablet. because he also needed to take care of his Huns. He pretended to be strong and that the whole situation wasn't affecting him at all, when in reality he was losing it inside.
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SACAGAWEA:
Sacagawea was so relived when the glass on her exhibit wasn’t fixed. She was dreading going back to only hearing the Clark brothers yapping.
Sacagawea was low key checking Teddy out to, but the glass was stopping her from getting his attention.
When Sacagawea meets reader (for the sake of the point reader has ribcage length hair) she is so happy to meet another woman, that her way of bonding is offering to braid readers hair. As she braids they talk and get to know each other.
She may be a soft spoken and rational person but get her mad, and she her voice will ring in her ears for weeks.
Sacagawea got a photo of Teddy, and hid it in her clothes when the tablet wasn’t in the museum and in London.
Ahkmenrah, Sacagawea and Teddy create a “new exhibit adjustment program” for new or moved exhibits. They would’ve love that, so they started it for them to fill that void.
Sacagawea is always the logical voice of reason when there is a difficult situation happening. Let’s just say that the men of the museum would be done for without her 😂
When Sacagawea first sees a woman in pants she is so happy to know that women get to do the same things as men in modern day. Reader loves explaining the history of feminism.
Sacagawea’s love language with Teddy is acts of service, which we get a taste for when she helps connect his lower body back to his upper body. Teddy is still trying to give her the perfect thank you gift, but she kindly refuses them saying she is happy to just be with him.
She has the job of scolding Dexter when he’s being naughty because he is low key scared of her.
When she discovers music and movies she loves 70s soft pop and action romance.
Her way of knowing how fast time was going was watching Nick grow up. Each time she noticed even the smaller changes in his appearance, voice or personality Sacagawea would feel a huge shift in time.
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TEDDY:
Teddy requests a newspaper that has the current state of the US’ politics. He has on many occasions thrown it in the air, walked towards the door screaming “I AM GOING TO TEACH THEM HOW TO RUN A CONTRY!”. Lucky Sacagawea has stopped him every time.
When he gives advice it’s either well thought out and considerate of one’s emotions, or he is straight to the point and cutthroat. Absolutely no in between.
Teddy and Ahk had a very awkward period of time because Teddy felt bad for shutting him up instead of helping him get out of his sarcophagus. Ahk being Ahk put it passed him and they got on like a house on fire.
When everyone dances and has fun, he is more happy to be watching on the side. He claims he’s “to old” to be dancing, reader disagrees and gets him to let loose on the dance floor!
He started the swear jar for Jed, as he got sick of “Fuck this” “shit” “asshole!” Every single sentence. Once the jar was full he took the money and put it towards the upkeep of the museum. His way of paying for something as it made him feel human again.
He definitely called MEMEs “Meh Mehs” for the first year of knowing about them.
He couldn’t find Sir Lancelot serious at all!! Every time he spoke Teddy covered his mouth to hide his smile or laugh. He was so close to calling him “The fool” “sir Erik” or “Jingle-elot”.
Teddy’s hat or pockets are Jedediah and Octavius’s backup travel option if Attila was unable to help with transportation.
His role in the NEAP is to show the new exhibit around and get them adjusted to the place they will temporarily/permanently call home for their time there.
When he first Jump scared Larry, he realised how evilly joyful it was and makes it his mission to scare him every night.
Teddy’s way of passing time before getting ready for sunrise is making sure Texas is looking sharp and clean. He enjoys having a quiet conversation while he listens to the brush run through Texas’ Maine.
After the “At their size, they’ll bake like tiny little scarabs in the Sinai…too dark?” Moment with Ahkmenrah. He can be a little scared of him at times 😂
He loves the 3 seconds of “warmth” the sun gives him before he goes to sleep. Thats when he feels most human.
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LARRY:
Larry after a while had the realisation that the instructions were actually the ways the prior guards used to punish them, and burned it. From this he wrote a whole new instruction guide to help the newer guards after him.
He has created a schedule for the Easter island statue because there were some close calls near sunrise. But he won’t stop giving him his “Gum Gum” as it causes the worst earthquakes from his screams!
He may have a love-hate relationship with Dexter, but he is ready to defend the capuchin with his whole heart.
When Nick was young he set up a little “bedroom” for him so he could sleep there on school nights and not be affected the next day. Is incredibly lenient to letting him have a sleep in or skip school when there is a reasonable gap between each time.
When Mr McPhee has pissed him off a little too much, he has 100% planned ways to beat home up or kill him.
He has shown the civil war dudes what NASCAR is and they become obsessed. He feels really proud of himself for it.
Shit talks about Kahmunrah with Ahkmenrah. They have the an ungodly amount of glee from it.
He cannot hold a romantic relationship to save his life! But once he starts teaching he meets his forever partner at the front desk of the collage he works at 7 years into the job. Nick approved immediately.
He took inspiration from Star Wars for his flashlight tricks, and will on occasion make lightsaber noises.
It still trips Larry out that’s he met, made eye contact and spoke to Hugh Jackman, and sometimes he needs to sit down and process it.
He loves to put on Kahmunrah’s lisp from time to time to make jedediah laugh when he’s feeling down. Jed is always left in stitches after.
He has nightmares of the multi-headed snake at least once a month. This causes him to develop a deep fare of snakes in general.
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I hope these Headcanons were good!
Have a lovely day/night!
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caterpillarinacave · 1 month ago
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Octavius: *carrying several bags of groceries* Jedediah: *holds out hand to help*
Octavius: *aggressively shifts all the bags to one hand to hold Jedediah’s hand*
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mints-bizarre-posts · 1 year ago
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Incorrect Quotes #113
Y/n, trying to flirt : So, you come around here often?
Ahkmenrah, confused : I mean, I basically live here, so yes
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zootopiathingz · 4 months ago
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Charlie: can you please stop staring dramatically off into the distance while I'm talking to you?
Lucifer, staring dramatically into the distance: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
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vmpirevnom · 1 year ago
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Jedediah: save a horse, ride a Roman.
Octavius: -looks up at Ahkmenrah- what does he mean?
Ahk: …I’m staying out of this.
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ancientpersacom · 7 months ago
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Jedediah: show of hands if Ahkmenrah fourth king of the fourth king has made you question your sexuality
The whole museum: *raises hands*
Ahk: wh- ALL OF YOU?!
Ahk, giggling: … all of you…
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inkwell-illustrations · 11 months ago
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NATM incorrect quotes
Jedediah, carrying Octavius bridal style: see? I can carry you. Octavius: Jed, your legs are shaking. Jedediah: with happiness! ---------- Jedediah: Will you be the yee to my haw?  Octavius: I am begging you to stop. --------- Jedediah: *existing* Octavius: what a fucking moron! Octavius: I can't believe I'd die for him!
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iceeericeee · 11 months ago
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*bursts through wall like koolaid man* Did someone say Jedtavius incorrect quotes?
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Jedidiah: Do you want to know your gay name?
Octavius: My… my gay name??
Jedidiah: Yeah, it’s your first name-
Octavius: Haha. Very funny, Jedidiah.
Jedidiah: *gets down on one knee* -and my last name.
Octavius: Oh- oh my gods.
—————————
Jedidiah: This date is boring!
Octavius: This isn’t a date. I said I was going to be in a senate meeting.
Jedidiah: Then why did you invite me?
Octavius: I didnt. I specifically said “Don’t come with me” and you said “fuck you Octavius I’ll do whatever I want!”
—————————
Jedidiah: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for over 50 years now. No response.
Octavius: Wow. They sound stupid.
Jedidiah: But they’re not! They’re really smart actually. Just dense.
Octavius: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey, I love you!”
Jedidiah: I guess you’re right. Hey Octavius, I love you.
Octavius: See! Just like that.
Jedidiah: Holy fucking shit.
Octavius: If that flies over their head then, sorry Jedidiah, but they’re too dumb for you.
Jedidiah: Octavius.
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marvel-lous-guy · 2 years ago
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Tony: Wait, I'm confused. Why does baby Yoda have completely different eyes to adult Yoda...?
Harley: Puberty
Peter: you know how baby's teeth fall out?
Tony: ...thank you, both of you, for those equally terrifying answers.
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nyahkmenrah · 1 year ago
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A collection of incorrect NATM quotes
Bought to you by my exomemories
Octavius: for the love of Jupiter Jed, you are a COWBOY. HOW did you manage this?
Jedediah, tangled in his lasso: I don’t know help
Ahk, wiping makeup stains off his cheeks: haha it’s fine, I’m fine, everything is fine
Larry: Ahkmenrah I mean this in the nicest way possible, you are the most mentally fucked up person I know
Larry: Jesus Christ how do I get a bunch of ancient people mental help?
Nick: therapy dog
Larry: we’ve got Rexy for that
Nick: two therapy dogs
Larry: no
Nick: therapy cat then
Jedediah: Pardner with a ‘d’ is friendly, Partner with a ‘T’ is romantic
Larry: so you DO like octavius
Jedediah, just now realising he’s been using T with Octavius: … listen
*the end of Ahk’s first night out*
Larry: you should probably get back into the sarcophagus befo-
Ahk: if I have to go back in that thing I’m going to start crying
Larry: … ok that’s definitely a trauma response
Sacagawea: three separate people have accidentally called me mum tonight, I feel like I should just adopt everyone at this point.
Jedediah: ahk you gotta hide me
Ahk: why?
Octavius, in the distance: GET YOUR ASSLESS CHAPS BACK HERE COWBOY-
Ahk: you broke something didn’t you?
Jedediah: …maybe
Jedediah: I was a gay cowboy before it was cool, before brokeback mountain made it trendy
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writelikeurruninoutoftime · 8 months ago
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Jedediah: i died and came back as a cowboy. i call that reintarnation
Octavius: is there something we need to discuss?
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ladymiraclewings · 3 months ago
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Pomni: Would you please stop staring dramatically off into the distance while I’m talking to you? Caine, staring dramatically off into the distance: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
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caterpillarinacave · 1 month ago
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Larry: Alright, time for plan E.
Teddy: Plan E? What happened B, C and D?
Larry: We tried plan B hours ago. I had to discard plan C due to logistical difficulties.
Ahkmenrah: And what’s wrong with plan D?
Larry: Lancelot dies in plan D.
Jedediah: I like plan D. We should do plan D.
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mints-bizarre-posts · 1 year ago
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Incorrect Quotes #99
Octavius : If we don’t get out of this alive… If we’re both about to die… I love you, Jedediah!
*Neither of them die*
Jedediah : ...
Octavius : ...
Jedediah : So do you wanna talk about somethi-
Octavius : No thank you
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ouatsqincorrect · 1 year ago
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David: Would you please stop staring dramatically off into the distance while I'm talking to you? Rumple, staring dramatically off into the distance: I don't know what you're talking about.
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