#Neve is a good mom

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

For B-Day prompts, maybe a Harry Potter/Dragon Age crossover, however you see that going down.

Age 5

“I told you!” Minerva hissed at Albus as they carried Harry Potter through an old city. “The worst kind of Muggles.”

“I know,” Albus said, feeling old as he looked down at the sleeping five-year-old in his arms. A broken arm and blackening bruises on his face were the result of his uncle. Mrs. Figg had finally bothered telling Albus about the abuse, having secretly liked the idea of a wizard being hurt by Muggles. Her guilt was obvious at the fact she was complicit in the abuse.

Albus frankly didn’t give a damn. The guilt should eat at her for what she’d done.

“Is this new option any better? Going through the portal to Thedas seems like a terrible idea,” Minerva said.

“I watched her for weeks Minerva. She has a good heart,” Albus told her as they got to the meeting point. The woman they were meeting was already there. A dark skinned woman in a white coat with a square hat tilted to the side, a fishnet veil on the other side. She had a golden prosthetic she leaned on a bit as she smoke a cigarette.

“Albus,” the woman said. She put out the smoke, studying them. “Who’s the kid?”

“You didn’t even tell her?!” Minerva hissed like her animagus form, glaring.

“I wanted to keep it as quiet as possible,” Albus replied. “Neve Gallus, this is Harry Potter. James’ son.”

Neve blinked in surprise, staring at the sleeping child. Her cousin had a son? She knew he’d died in some war, but not that he had a son. Nor…

“His former guardians,” Neve said, motioning to the broken arm. Albus nodded grimly while the woman with him looked like she would love to kill something. Interesting. “I’m the only option?” Neve asked.

“It’s best for him to be with family. When his mother died she cast a powerful piece of magic. It’s stronger with her blood relatives but anyone related to Harry can hold them,” Albus said calmly. Neve hesitated, staring at the child.

She shouldn’t. She worked almost all the time, was currently helping fight off the Venatori where she could, had terrible habits…

But…

“I’ll take him,” she said calmly, staring at the boy. Her cousin. A piece of family she could have all over again.

“Splendid,” Albus smiled at her before it turned to a grimace. “I should tell you more.”

The conversation after had Neve in full agreement she did in fact need to know that.

-

Harry didn’t really know what to think of Neve. She was nice. Really awkward around kids but she was nice. Always made sure to listen to him and gave him his own room! She was magic to! Like his parents! Like him!

A different type of magic she said, explaining about Thedas. Apparently they had something called the Fade and it was external with some people able to access it. Harry’s magic was internal and he could draw it out.

Neve was a detective to which was cool but Harry had seen how the police always ignored things so he was a bit wary about that. At least until Neve told him she didn’t work with the police or Templars much cause they didn’t like them.

He still didn’t know what to think of her though. She was… different than what he was used to.

Maybe he’d get use to her.

Age 7

“Harry,” Neve said, hand on her forehead as she stared at her son. “What did you two do?”

Ron Weasley, a kid from a family Albus knew that he was delighted to introduce them to (Neve then looked into her contacts in the Wizarding World for others because she knew the old man was a politician at heart so he’d stick them with his followers), was looking at the ground. He was Harry’s best friend so far, the two constantly wanting to play together. Which wasn’t to hard. The Viper was more than willing to have a Floo set up at the pawn shop for the kids to come through. Softy.

“I… may, may-“ Harry raised a hand to point at Neve, emphasizing the word, “have somehow exposed about six Templars as Venatori. With… Ron’s help?”

“… this is my fault isn’t it?” Neve asked with a sigh. “You looked through my notes.” Harry blushed, looking down. Neve shook her head.

“He’d make a fine Dragon,” one of the men who were shamelessly listening in said. Neve turned to stare at him, causing the man to wince. “In the future.” He amended.

“Well, I won’t ground you for curiosity. I will for nearly giving me a Maker damn heart attack,” Neve scolded. “And I’m telling your mother Ron.”

“Oh Merlin,” Ron went paler then normal as Neve ushered the boys away.

Age 11

“Now, don’t do anything to crazy,” Neve told Harry as she brushed off some ash from his coat.

“I won’t Mom,” Harry said with a smile up at her.

“Do not run off into the Forbidden Forest without a teacher or older student.” Neve said firmly.

“Not going to tell me just stay out?” Harry asked cheekily. Neve rolled her eyes.

“I’d try but you would do it anyway,” Neve said. She leaned down to give him a kiss on the forehead. “Have fun. Solve a mystery. Write me and your dogfathers.”

“I will,” Harry hugged her tightly before he got on the train with a wave. Neve smiled, her heart full.

(At the end of the school year she had to just laugh at a letter. Her son took to much after her.)

[housederiva]

🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

[mtreebeardiles]

A pair of mages

Not pictured: a certain Crow who is starting to question why he agrees to go with the mages on a mage outing

[littlemoondarling]

Laying in bed and crying at 1 am because I realised yet again just how much of a lost cause I really am

[imthatwannabeauthor]

.

[delusionsofgrandeur13]

pt. 2

you just saw your ex boyfriend, dick grayson, for the first time since he broke up with you.

you ran into him on the street.

no, like, literally ran into him.

you were walking your mom’s dog for her, a german shepherd she got when you moved out. she’d aptly named him trouble. despite his name, trouble was usually a mellow guy, even if he was huge. walking him was just another thing you were doing to try and ignore the thoughts constantly pounding out a beat in your head.

oh, dick would think this is funny! that’s dick’s favorite color, i should buy it! dick and i should go there on our next date!

and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on and-

anyways, you were definitely trying to keep yourself busy.

any time a memory popped up in your brain of him—

laughing at your jokes, holding you close while you fell asleep, kissing your neck while he thrust into you

—you’d empty the dishwasher, paint your nails, (any color but blue) turn on reality tv, read a book, stuff your face, whatever.

anything to stop fucking thinking about him and his stupid blue eyes and his dumb smile.

you’d been been watching the news, sprawled across the couch. just the regular gotham news: don’t use main street, mr. freeze’s ray iced out the pavement. the iceberg lounge had been raided by the police for the third time this month. the justice league defeated yet another extraterrestrial threat to humanity, blah, blah, blah. you weren’t really watching. the news program ended, and the next one started. a gotham gossip show. they were doing a special segment on the wayne family.

of course they fucking were. even your tv was conspiring against you. you had to resist the urge to chuck the remote at it.

you turned it off instead, heading to your room to get ready for a run.

(running for exercise or running from your thoughts?)

your mom had asked you to take trouble right before you’d walked out the door, and so you grabbed him and his leash and headed out. you’d forgotten the bags for his poop, but you didn’t think you would be out that long, so you just kept on going.

you were wearing the leggings dick had bought you, ones he joked should be a specific blue color. you hadn’t understood then, but you more than understood now. it was warmer, and so you just had on an old sports bra on top, and some converse.

you were not the athletic type. that was dick. probably still was. you wouldn’t really know.

you hadn’t talked since it happened, like three or four weeks ago.

time had become a little fuzzy. your mom said you could stay with her as long as you needed, but you were starting to get the itch to move out.

nothing against your mom, it’s just hard to sob really loudly into a pint of ice cream when she’s there.

and she keeps trying to wash the one shirt of dick’s you still have. you know, fully well, how dumb it is, (and a little gross) but you’re still wearing his shirt every night to bed. and maybe it’s all in your head, but it still smells like him. you aren’t ready to wash it. besides, now that you’re sleeping by yourself, you’re pretty sure it’s helping you fall asleep. something that was hard to do the first few nights without your big warm boyfriend next to you in bed.

it probably isn’t good for you, to keep wearing his shirt.

you’d had your hand between your thighs more than once late at night thinking about being enveloped in his scent. your nights were haunted with thoughts of his body over yours, his phantom voice in your ear. calling you angel, asking you if this was heaven, like the last time you’d had sex.

it definitely isn’t good for you.

but neither is life without dick grayson.

you try not to dwell on the fact that dick had given you a sort of non-reason for the breakup. sure, it got lonely sometimes, or you got anxious for your masked boyfriend, so you cried. so what if your patience wore thin after a few too many “i’m sorry, angel, i can’t make it this time”-s.

you were human!

but you’d never, never once complained about his absence or his commitments to his family.

never.

he’d just assumed you were silently suffering and it really irked you if you thought about it for too long. you still weren’t sure if you were mad at him or sad, or whatever. it felt like your brain couldn’t decide on an emotion so you just got twelve at once. but what you did know for sure was that he was 110% worth it to you. you just wish he’d realize that. see that. instead of just the times you were a little emotionally strung out. your ex boyfriend was too willing to sacrifice his own mental health for the sake of yours and you were sick of it. but you didn’t know if you had the courage to say that to him. or even see him, after the way this breakup had hit you.

your friends had managed to get you out of the house, a few times now.

you’d gotten almost too drunk every time, escaping your friends and going outside to get some air. this time, you saw a guy that looked just enough like dick, and it’d all been too much. so you got out of there. you sat yourself down on the curb, looking up at the hazy rooftops. you were always looking up. always.

and since the break up, you’d noticed the vigilantes of your city more often. maybe there was more criminal activity. maybe you were just paying more attention than you used to.

you’d seen spoiler and orphan, pounding the pavement behind you to run after some seedy looking guy holding a briefcase. you think spoiler tried to high five you on the way past, but there was no way. you wrote it off as your memory embellishing things.

you were pretty sure red hood had nodded at you before disappearing down a fire escape on the other side of the building.

your mom had recently gotten a delivery of security cameras for her house. but she hadn’t ordered them. the shipping address had only the address of some warehouse on the dock, the name just, ‘R.R.’ you’d set the cameras up, but you and your mom both were still baffled about it.

and here, sitting on the curb, you were staring at what looked like a dark figure crouched on the rooftop opposite. they’d been there when you’d entered the club, too.

you squinted, trying to make out shoulders and suit colors, when they stood up, and the light bounced off his shiny cowl.

fucking batman?

you shook your head, trying to shake your drunk brain like an etch-a-sketch. there was actually no way.

a smaller figure, one you hadn’t seen behind the shape of batman (!?) pulled a weapon, a gleaming silver sword, and pointed it at you. your head spun. batman (there was no way) shook his head at robin. he sheathed his sword, throwing his hands up in what looked like annoyance. you blinked, and they were gone.

you weren’t really sure if it had happened or not. you’d been trying not to think too hard about the fact that you still hadn’t seen nightwing. you’d really been trying.

so instead, you were walking your mom’s dog.

trouble had, in fact, pooped, and you were frantically looking around for something to pick it up with. gotham was already shitty enough without the addition of, well, literal shit. the streets were busy, but not crowded, and someone down the block whistled for a cab, catching your attention. you turned, and at the same time, trouble jerked your arm, pulling you backwards into someone walking on the sidewalk. the stranger made a choked sound.

“trouble??”

your heart stopped. you held your breath, turning around.

trouble was at attention, looking up at your ex-boyfriend with his head cocked.

dick’s eyes were wide. his hair shorter than you remember. he leaned down to scratch trouble behind the ears, his biceps and shoulder muscles in hard relief. are you dreaming? you didn’t recognize the shirt he had on, but he was wearing your favorite jeans of his, and his matching converse. your mouth felt like a desert.

trouble trails around the two of you, the leash long. he loves your ex-boyfriend, you know he won’t go anywhere.

“did you cut your hair?” you take a step forward. dick does too.

“i-” he clears his throat. “i did. do you like it?” he shifts his eyes, his cheeks bright pink.

you make a show of looking it over. he turns his head so you can see it from all angles. like he always did when he got a haircut.

your chest hurts.

you nod approvingly, flashing him a weak smile.

“it looks really nice. you’re very-” your face heats as you stop yourself. “it looks very handsome.”

that’s an understatement. you would’ve climbed him like a tree the minute he’d come home looking like that. the way his biceps were bulging out of his shirt sleeves could not be good for his circulation. it was great for yours, your heart was beating a mile a minute.

dick smiles down at you, stepping forward again.

“thanks.” he looks down, taking in your outfit. “nice leggings, ang-” he’s cut off when trouble spots a squirrel and darts, barking wildly. the problem is, trouble had been walking his leashed self around you and dick.

you’re now chest to chest with your ex boyfriend in the middle of a sidewalk, tied to him by rope. you vaguely hear trouble whine at the way his collar bit into his neck from the leash pulling taut. you didn’t even have the time to process the fact that he had almost called you angel. which was probably a good thing.

you’re breathing heavily, while dick doesn’t seem to be breathing at all.

he’s put his arms around you on instinct, and you hate the way you feel like you’re home. a shiver runs up your spine at the sudden closeness, and dick peers down at you through half-lids. your mouth dries up again. you suddenly feel indignant.

“you are not allowed to breakup with me and then show up and look at me like that!” you hiss at him.

you would throw up your hands in exasperation if they weren’t basically pinned to dick’s body. a smile breaks across his face, his bright blue eyes telling you everything you need to know. he stares at you, studying you. you wonder if he can feel how hard your heart is beating.

“alfred taught me a new recipe.” he blurts, his hand clutching at your back.

he’s adorable. but you school your face and raise an eyebrow at him.

“..oookay?”

dick blushes, his face sheepish. “i could make it for you, if you wanted.”

“what i want is an apology.” you look him up and down.

your ex boyfriend grimaces, squeezing his eyes shut. “understandable.”

“on your hands and knees. i think this is one of those begging-for-my-forgiveness type situations, don’t you think?”

dick nods, a strand of hair falling across his forehead. his eyes flash.

“you don’t have to worry about getting me on my knees.”

one heartbeat pounds behind your ribs, the other one between your legs. you huff out a weird sort of nervous laugh.

“oh, i’m not joking.” his lips curve up in a smile, one you know very well. he obviously plans to make up on lost time.

you forgot how charming he was. you have to practically force yourself to breathe. you’d do anything to have the real thing over his old t-shirt. you give yourself a mental shake.

he can flirt all he wants, but what about your heart? you look up at him, and his face softens, his pupils huge.

“can you get us untangled?”

dick nods, whistling for trouble. he frees an arm and grabs trouble’s collar, guiding him back around so the leash falls to the sidewalk. you step back, taking a deep breath. you’re cold at the sudden loss of his body heat. it’s a harsh reminder of reality. you grab trouble’s leash, having him sit. you look at your ex boyfriend.

“thanks.” you take another deep breath. “can you promise me something, though?”

he nods, his face serious. “anything. anything at all.”

“promise you won’t break my heart again?” you hold out your pinky finger.

dick coughs, surprised at your words. he looks down, taking a shaky breath. he’s in disbelief, he’s ecstatic, he’s on top of the world, he…has a lot of apologizing to do.

when he looks back up to offer up his own pinky, his eyes are shining. the sight makes your heart melt. you take his finger in yours, beaming up at him.

he gives you a soft smile in return. “i promise.”

you take your hand back, feeling the most hopeful you have in a month.

a breeze picks up, and the whiff you get reminds you of your earlier predicament. you look down. dick looks down too.

shit. literally.

you forgot about the fact that trouble had used the sidewalk as a toilet.

“is that trouble’s?” he asks.

you nod, making a face. “i forgot the poop bags.”

“rookie mistake.” dick shakes his head, smiling. you look him up and down, and then turn, walking back the way you came.

“text me about that recipe!” you lift your hand in a wave.

“but-..uh, the shit?” he calls after you.

“that’s alllll you, baby!” you yell back, practically skipping away. you feel like you’re floating.

[bingsoo-jung]

I do Not write video game analysis. However, one thing that I loved about Veilguard that I hadn’t seen people talking about, is that all the companions personal quests mirror Solas’s regrets.

Like Taash is struggling with their mom and identity and what to choose to be in their future. Do they be what someone else wants them to or make their own identity?

Emmrich is trying to deal with a fear of death and if sacrificing the things he loves is worth is for a better future. What’s the cost of never having to experience your greatest figure worth to you?

Davrin’s trying to figure out how to live when he’s always expected he would die. The duty he’s pledged himself to vs following his own nature. Should you sacrifice your life for the duty and happiness of others?

Bellara’s both dealing with the regret of not doing enough to prevent her brothers death, but also trying to decide if progress is worth the price it came at. How do you forgive yourself for your sins and carve a new path forward?

Neve is trying to be a good person in a system literally built for people like her while she has immense amounts of privilege. Do people need someone who will do anything for them? Or do they need a hero to look up to?

Lucanis is figuring out how to deal with the betrayal of someone who you not only trusted, but was your family. The closest person to you. At what point is family who hurt you no longer worth your forgiveness?

Harding is trying to both honor but let go of the trauma and create a future in light of that hurt. How do you create a future despite the trauma of your past?

And Rook! Rook’s entire thing is that they’re self-isolating. They never talk to any of their companions about their stress… except they do talk to Solas, the Inquisitor, and Varric, people who all have power or they see as their leader. They’re actively trying to withdraw from their community and take on whatever mistakes the team makes and whatever consequences will arise from the conclusions of the companions missions.

And this is all wildly clever thing because it creates a really effective way of commenting on Solas and his issues. This is not to say that they were crafted solely to comment on Solas, or to be pale imitations, but by making them have similar regrets and problems to him, it provides this really fantastic bit in the narrative, especially during the team meetups to discuss the murals, where they’re really able to both relate to, or disagree with Solas in some interesting ways because of their issues. It also makes the story much tighter than it would be otherwise, because nothing in this story doesn’t serve this very character-driven narrative about the choices, guilt, and fear and how that hampers or helps your decision making. And I really like it! You can see it in their dialogue around the murals too. Taash for instance specifically talks about the regret of not being able to tell someone you love stuff because you waited too long and now they’re dead. 10/10 bit of character introspection.

[venuslarkspur]

Could we get one explanation on how batsis charmed her Flings and how long they lasted or is she like Bruce. Like she can look at them and they fold

Okay I love this question and I’m here to explain 🫶

How Batsis charms her flings and how long her situationship lasted with some of them 💗

Warning: Paparazzi are low-key kind of crazy in this, mild nsfw, panic attacks, some insecurity for some characters, mentions of addiction.

Characters (paired with Batsis): Wally West, Roy Harper, Zatanna Zatara, John Constantine, Diana Prince, Hal Jordan, John Stewart.

Note: MY EXAMS ARE OVER I CAN FINALLY POST AGAIN <3 NOT PROOF READ

The Batsis Charm

- Okay so I always pictured Batsis as taking after Bruce, she turns on the Wayne family charm and deadly assassins fold. She adds some flirting and keeps up appearance, she isn’t afraid to dress alternatively either her style is ever changing.

- When Bruce first introduced her to the Justice League she was fresh out of university (pretty and clever!), she immediately enchants most of them in more ways than one.

Wally West

- These two together are a bit different, I think they both dated when they very young; teenagers. Very much puppy love.

- very healthy relationship despite how random it was, you only met through Dick. He had trouble accepting you both but did accept it.

- Very typical teenage dates like: the movies, the park, bowling etc.

- Batsis had faceless pics of them posted all over her socials.

- More Batsis coming round his for dinner then him coming to her.

- The relationship neves goes past kissing, had lots good times together though.

- The only way I see this ending is Wally struggles to be in the public eye so much with his gf, he wonders how Batsis has handled it.

- Everyone and their grandma know about this breakup when it happened, but overall ended on a good note.

Roy Harper

- These two are “she fell first but he fell harder” coded, they meet when they are both teenagers. Roy is a tiny bit older (1-2 years), starts off as unrequited love but also not really?! Batsis always loved him, these two faced the most challenges out of any of her relationships. 

- These two get more romantic as they get older (roy realising he’s got something good with this girl), Roy gets plenty threats from Jason on the daily.

- When it comes to Lian, Batsis went from dad’s friend to babysitter to stepmom to just mom. Roy remembers when Lian was very young and you just left after babysitting and he just tucked her in; he’s ready to leave for bed before Lian asks “is mommy coming again tomorrow?” His heart breaks when he realises she sees you as her mom.

- right people wrong time coded.

- Talks of giving Lian a sibling one day 💕🫶

Zatanna Zatara

- these two are the besties and or gfs forever!!

- Batsis attends all her magic shows, sometimes even becomes her assistant.

- Lots of pda, you smother her and she smothers you a lot as well.

- The media know all about you two, it’s a challenge to get away from them for a day.

- Slightly jealous type but won’t admit it, especially if one of your exes message you while you’re having one of your dates with her.

- Everyone at the JL knows they are together, whether they knew batsis liked girls or not they are surprised when you guys go public.

- Lots of Halloween couple costumes together, like magician + bunny, matching witch costumes, princess + genie, etc..

- Watch each other do your makeup, sometimes she does yours and you do hers. You brush her hair after all her magic shows.

- I love these two <3

John Constantine

- These two met by mistake, it started off as a random hookup; John didn’t even know you were the Batman’s daughter.

- When it gets revealed he makes so many comments, like “don’t want me to be your future son in law Batsy?” Shit like that.

- If you do start dating everyone would be shocked, let’s be honest these two were the most random couple ever.

- He just enjoys his time with you because he knows the day will come when you two break up so he’s just making the most of it.

- Rlly insecure no matter how serious you two get, you could be moved in together with a pet and he’d still ask “so you like me?”

- you cook him breakfast tbh, sometimes he cooks for you but you prefer to do it.

- These two are freaky asf. No more words necessary.

- You try and compare hand sizes and take pictures of you together.

- Not my favourite pairing but I still love them.

Diana Prince

- You’ve always admired her since Bruce first introduced you.

- She was the most radiant woman you’d ever seen, you fell HARD.

- Definitely Batsis’s bi/pan awakening, you’ve been chasing after her since your first day at the JL headquarters, everyone knows it.

- You’ve been on a few dates and you two regularly flirt.

- Lots of jokes (or not) about her whisking you away to Themyscira and staying there <3

- Media loves you both as well, despite the debate on whether or not you’re dating.

- The definition of “what are we?” You wonder if she’s just playing with you sometimes.

- You still respond to all her calls even if you’re on a date with someone else, she was literally all you ever wanted in your early days.

- The batfam approves of you two together 🫶

Hal Jordan

- Oh boy..these two are one of my faves.

- This relationship starts off sort of toxic?? You only hooked up with him the first time because you were mad at Bruce, AND YOUR FATHER WAS MAD.

- After he does his slut walk out of Wayne manor (in front of your brothers, sister, dad, and grandfather figure mind you) he asks when you two can meet again.

- You don’t keep things professional at headquarters so why should he? So there’s plenty of instances where his eyes wander too long over you, or when you undress him with your eyes at a meeting.

- Bruce doesn’t like it one bit, it’s actually a pregnancy scare that brings you and him together. Even though you found out your period was just late you could still be was slightly disappointed in you not being pregnant. You notice this and don’t bring it up, just invite him out for dinner sometime.

- Batsis the type of woman to pay the bill after he insists “he’s got this.”, yeah he left his wallet at home.

- If you’re moody at headquarters, he would definitely ask you if you’ve “had your period yet?” And he’s met with a firm slap on the head, from you and Dinah.

- These two are such sillies, Bruce isn’t happy, your brothers aren’t happy, but you’re happy. So who even really cares?

John Stewart

- This is the ex bf Batsis still cries over, I don’t wanna spoil anything for my newest fic but these two nearly got married definitely. And Batsis left him at the altar.

- You two end because he decided he can’t be with someone who doesn’t know what they want. Yeah he is the one who made you realise you need to take some to reflect. You just wanted him.

- Hal Jordan literally cried when he found out you two were now a thing.

- Nobody made you feel loved, if you had a spending addiction, HE got you through it.

- Bruce trusts him, his “no dating my colleagues” rule, doesn’t apply to this man because he’s witnessed how much happier you were.

- The only mildly concerning thing was the fact you could NOT shut up about him, it’s always “John” this and “John!” That, your family are genuinely sick of hearing about your amazing love life.

- Keeps you out the media’s eye if you’re not feeling up to any paparazzi that day. He just holds your hand and keeps you next to him.

- If you ever have a panic attack because of any of the paparazzi, he will take you into a secluded spot and just place kisses on top of your head and keep you firmly pressed against him, whilst reminding you “you’re safe.”

- You had no idea what you lost. And that’s why you still cry over him.

[triaelf9]

Just a lil post about Taash and how I'm feeling about how ppl are reacting to them as someone who relates to them very strongly not only on the gender journey front, but also on the mom-issues front.

Cut for length b/c of course this won't actually be a "little" post lol

So I hear a lot of "Taash is too young" "Taash acts like a child" "Taash is too brash" "Taash has wildly binary views of the world" "Taash is thinks their reality is the world's reality" etc etc etc

And I'm here to say that as someone who realized that non-binary was a thing later in life, grew up trying to be them, but society was not only unwelcoming to that, but openly hostile at points, with a mom who had totally different interests, who very much wanted to protect them from the outside world to a point where it left them unprepared to deal with nuances of the world, etc, a mom who thought they were "just doing their best" but was never meant to be a mom, and never wanted to be a mom, didn't have the tools for mom-hood, who wanted to protect their child, but had no real idea how, and how every comment turned into the mom trying to steer her kid the right way, but just came out as a dig or a "you're not good enough" remark, AND looking after your mom in a world that is wholly unsuited to her, that she can't really adapt to and fit into, and kinda becoming her mom to a point so that your life completely revolves around her until you leave home?

Yeah. I get Taash. It's actually kinda freaky how, fantasy elements aside, I get Taash on a frightening level. (aside from the dragon stuff, we're both the same with that HELL YEAH DRAGONS)

Taash doesn't read young to me because I've always read young because of how I was raised. I didn't get the chance to figure myself out until I left home. I also had the benefit of being able to leave for college at a younger age, and got a chance to experience things away from my mom earlier. But seeing things in such a binary way, that's how it is when you're protected like that.

You don't want to admit how similar you are to how your mom sees the world, b/c she sees it in one way, and as you go through life, you get to learn differently. You come out of this situation INCREDIBLY judgmental at first. Why aren't THESE things conforming to MY reality. You come across as brash and childish. And when you get treated as such, it's triggering b/c that's how your mom treats you.

You hate how you look, you think you look like a freak b/c your mom is constantly commenting on your appearance. She does it out of love (she wants you to be healthy & not mocked by your peers) but she doesn't consider that constantly telling you not to look a certain way does damage. My self confidence only recovered in my thirties. I'm 4 days from my 38th birthday, and it took getting pregnant to finally be like "you know what, I don't hate myself & my body" which is MASSIVE for me.

So where do we get our self confidence? In things we enjoy, in hyperfocuses that we're good at. For me that's comics, naginata, fantasy & DA lore lol XD For Taash it's dragons, fighting, and working out. And when we falter there, it's devastating b/c it's the only way we can feel good about ourselves b/c our SELVES are disconnected and tucked away b/c they make us feel bad.

So I totally get how Taash reads to people. The autism aspects are more like my wife (who is autistic & has issues with social cues, while I'm HYPER AWARE of social stuff which fuels my anxiety b/c of the type of person my mom was and how I had to look after her), but I get it.

But it makes me sad when I hear people dunk on Taash as "bad writing" and "unrealistic" and "annoying" and it's like...is that how you see people like that? Is that how you see me and people like my wife? I feel like people aren't willing to look deeper so often (an issue with all the companions tbh & some day I'll have to get into my Davrin feels b/c BOY do I have them. Neve too, WHOOF) but I feel like if you do that in a game, I hope you don't do that irl.

anyway TLDR this is a Taash defense post b/c while they have a lot of issues, stuff they need to work out & have wrong opinions on stuff, they're growing, they're learning & they have to do it later than most. They're an incredibly complicated character with tons of nuance, and I can't wait to get deeper into their story and banter with companions in round 2 of my playthroughs, and then again in round 3

Sorry this is too long, and I'm sure not all of this was intended when they were written, but this is how it all clicked with me as someone who has lived a large portion of that stuff. Like, again, I'm nearly fucking FOURTY and I don't feel like I should be there yet b/c I started so far back. It ALSO doesn't help that ADHD wild child I was, I was held back in preschool b/c neurodivergence also makes a kid read younger, AND the choice to have me be the youngest in the class would have been a very bad one. So I'm older than most of my peers BUT I've always read younger, felt younger, and have had a sore spot when it comes to all that.

Thank you for coming to my Taash Talk, I'll be here all week to think about more stuff, including how their body makes them read as lady, and they're not sure how to feel about that, but they don't want to CHANGE it, but is it right?

ANYWHO this is why Taash is a fascinating character & deserves better than to be regulated to "annoying kid"

[rook-laidir]

Apparently y’all wanted more banter

Enjoy, ya degenerates!

~~~

Rook: Are dragons and wyverns the same thing?

Taash: What? No, they’re completely different.

Rook: They’re both giant lizards that breathe fire and ice and other stuff. Feels like the only real difference is dragons have more legs.

Taash: Dragons are way more complicated than wyverns. Trust me.

Rook: I feel like if I don’t, you’ll burn me alive.

~~~

Rook: I picked up some Rivaini foods the other day. They’re in the pantry if you want to use them.

Bellara: I saw! But what makes them Rivaini? Besides the Llomerryn sauce and the couscous, I mean?

Rook: What do you mean?

Bellara: Well the bananas are Par Vollen, the spices are from Tevinter, and I think the flatbread you bought is Nevarran.

Rook: That’s what makes it Rivaini.

~~~

Bellara: So what’s Isabela like? I mean as a leader.

Rook: Tough when she needs to be, fun when she wants to be. She’ll drink you under the table and kick your ass at Wicked Grace. Why? You’re joining the Lords?

Bellara: Oh, no, I was just curious. She’s so…

Rook: Intimidating?

Bellara: Yeah. And really pretty! She’s just like the Pirate Queen in one of my serials!

Rook: Knowing Isabela, she probably inspired the whole thing.

~~~

Harding: You know, you can come visit my Ma’s cottage whenever you want. She makes really good pie.

Rook: Thanks, Harding.

Harding: She’d love to meet you and hear about your adventures. And she always has a spare bed made just in case.

Rook: Are you trying to set me up with your mom?

Harding: No! What? I was just trying to be nice! You look like you could use a good mothering.

Rook: Aww, thanks, Harding!

Harding: Well now I wanna take it back!

~~~

Harding: Look, I really don’t mean any offense by this, but I gotta ask…

Rook: This should be good.

Harding: Did you try to rob Varric when you first met him? Because he made it sound a lot like you were trying to rob him.

Rook: Really? What did he say?

Harding: That you stood awfully close to him and asked a lot of questions about Bianca.

Rook: Bianca’s a classy lady. And maybe I just liked the chest hair.

Harding: You’re avoiding the question!

Rook: You’re asking questions you don’t want answers to.

~~~

Spite: Twenty gold!

Rook: Not a chance.

Spite: Twenty gold!

Rook: I won that bet fair and square, Spite.

Lucanis: You know there’s no reasoning with him.

Spite: Twenty! Gold!

Rook: You can’t even spend it!

~~~

Davrin: Have you seen my coin purse?

Rook: I didn’t take it.

Davrin: Now why don’t I believe you?

Rook: Hey, I don’t take things from my friends. And you lost it at The Hilt.

Davrin: So you have seen it.

Rook: No, but I saw you flirting with Markos. He’s a pickpocket.

Davrin: Dammit.

Rook: (laughs) Sorry, Dav. It’s the Lords of Fortune way.

Davrin: Well the Lords of Fortune need to learn some manners.

Rook: Where’s the fun in that?

~~~

Neve: You should get your arm checked out. You probably injured it.

Rook: You’re looking at my arms?

Neve: I saw you wince when you pulled your bowstring back. Probably a pulled muscle.

Rook: First my arms, now my muscles? If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were checking me out.

Neve: And I’d say you’re trouble.

[hemonoir]

Tell me more about hotdog

hhHOh boy, okay, I'm just gonna start this off with a brief recap.

TL;DR: "Hotdog" Aka. Damara Lalonde, or "Mara" for short, is the adoptive daughter of Roxy Lalonde.

She is the same Damara raised by Doc Scratch who would later become The Handmaid, but was spared this fate when Roxy plucked her directly off the meteor using her void powers.

But I take it you're explicitly not here for a tldr so-

LONG AS FUCK EXPLANATION BELOW

Due to the bizarreness of her situation, a lot of the surviving cast post-game had some part in her upbringing. But most prominently were her mom's (Roxy and June), and Dirk, who served as an uncle of sorts. The latter being where she gets all the Stridisms in her design.

Personality wise: She's still extremely crude like Beforus Damara, but it's from a more direct ironic place meant to catch one off guard or to be absurdly overdramatic, rather than attempting to scare people away. A lot more snarky and confident, but not jaded or mean unless given reason to be.

Her interests include: Godzilla and similarly campy kaiju franchises. Practical effects in general, but mostly anything big dumb and explosive. Any Shonen slop Dirk showed her. Parkour and any reckless dangerous physical activity that would nearly give her friends a heart attack seeing her attempt. And starting sudden random indie projects in a medium she never returns to once she's finished.

Mara lives life fast and doesn't take time to dwell, especially as she's well aware of her own lifespan in comparison to her peers and her family. After highschool, she didn't want to bother with anything academic or to pursue some grand project to leave behind in her wake. Aside from flings, she doesn't really want to pursue a committed relationship either, as the last thing she wants is someone else fussing over her being careful, or bemoaning her short life in the last years she has of it.

It's her's, and her's alone. And she intends to live it to the fullest.

As for the concepts behind her character and creation-

In the shortest terms, Mara is a direct foil to the faults in Rose and Dave's upbringing. As well as an optimistic look to who Alpha Roxy and Dirk could have become despite who they were in the Beta Universe.

Both getting a chance to take supportive parental role's in Mara's life, Roxy more directly in being her mother, and Dirk more indirectly as someone Roxy could depend on to look out for her daughter, and who saw himself in another "out of place" kid.

Mara never had to wear the scarf of her dead mom, or mourn the fact they never truly got to know eachother due to her addiction. She had a loving mother who she knew for a fact supported her interests, and didn't keep things from her.

And instead of a shadowy violent figure that made her feel like she was never good enough, and without Cal's influence, she had someone to teach her to protect herself and who felt more like a trusted friend than another parent.

The parallels continue when brought back to her original upbringing under Scratch, a fate she narrowly avoided in this timeline due to Roxy pulling her off the meteor.

The idea for the whole AU actually initially came from the fact that Damara and Rose have a lot of direct parallels:

-Both use Needle-kind.

-While Rose would threaten suicide, Damara has a parental figure that actually would push her to suicide.

-John makes a comment about Rose seeming more "witch-like" in comparison to Jade, being a Seer and Witch respectively. However Damara actually is a Witch of Time when looking at her role in Beforus.

It makes it almost seem like Scratch will directly fit anyone he manipulates into a specific mold, but that's beside the point.

There are also parallels in Hal/AR being a piece that makes up Scratch/English, despite his initial role being one of sacrifice. But instead of knowing a sliver of Dirk that got ultimately corrupted and morphed into something cruel and unrecognizable, she got to know Dirk in full who never mutated into some kind of sick beast.

Lastly, though this is more of a side note:

Initially, I actually planned Mara to be raised by Scratch for a brief period, but taken before she could serve English. I.E. Instead of spawning green boxes, Roxy pulling a girl out of a green box.

I'm still mulling it over, but me and my wife most of the time lean towards her never having to suffer under Scratch bc Roxy with her stupid hotdog baby is nice fluff. But the narrative of a kid narrowly avoiding a grizzly fate and having severe repressed trauma she can't remember despite her currently good life, is a story element I still gravitate to as someone with DiD, who also headcanons Dirk as having DiD.

So it's sort of up in the air at times whether or not, Troll named Hotdog. Ever actually was. Hotdog shaped.

At least under Roxy's care.

[villa-dellamorte]

Who Said What in the Cut Romance Post Fade-Prison Dialogues

So I couldn't stop thinking about the cut dialogues from what I assume is a data dive that @merrinla posted. I wanted to take a swing at figuring out who each line belongs to.

First: Why it was cut

My best guess as to why this was cut is maybe there was supposed to be another quest between the fade prison and the final battle against Elgar'nan. Maybe the possible cut rescue quest that people have speculated about? Anyway, I think that having this dialogue, then the quest, then the bow-chika-wow romance scene, then the final quest would have made for good pacing, but who knows 🤷‍♀️

Opening Dialogue

Rook: Solas? (?): We're not sure. Probably searching for some way to defeat Elgar'nan. (?): We don't know. Not really. We were so busy looking for you we… lost track.

I think that these two (?) lines have to be between Emmrich and Lucanis for logistical reasons (i.e., the only three that are definitely going to be in the party/Lighthouse after Tearstone Island are Emmrich, Lucanis and Taash, but these dialogues just... aren't written in Taash's voice lol).

[Paraphrase] option: It's been two weeks. Rook: I was… what? Two weeks? option: A two-week long day. Rook: Apparently my hard day lasted two weeks.

My thoughts about this: the first option is probably the crying/empathetic option or thumbs up/agreeable option, and the second one is obviously the purple option. I wonder if a stoic/stern or otherwise third option would have been added or is buried in the data somewhere?

LI Worries About Rook

(?): Yes, you were gone two weeks. Which means you need rest, food, and water.

My assumption is that this is the dialogue that the player gets if the player hasn't romanced anyone. This has got to be Lucanis. Here's my reasoning: one, again, for logistics, the best choice for this line is between Emmrich, Taash, and Lucanis. This is not written in Taash's voice, and while I could see this as something Emmrich might say, it fits Lucanis so well. He is the mom of the group, and already is coded as Rook's BFF even in a non-romance playthrough, and the quick-to-the-chase attitude works for him, I think.

(Emmrich?): Yes, my love. Which is why you shouldn't rush out just yet.

I agree that this is mostly likely Emmrich's line. It seems like the logistic-safe companion dialogue options are placed first in this list, which makes sense, and Emmrich is notorious for his terms of endearment for Rook.

(?): Enough of this. You need food and rest. We'll talk business later.

I think this is Lucanis. This is Lucanis's way of caring for a romanced Rook-- making sure they are fed and taken care of. Plus, it leads into the follow-up line well (see below).

(Taash?): Yeah. So you need rest. We can talk about the other crap later. Davrin: We'll talk about this later. You need some rest and Assan needs feeding.

Yeah, this is definitely Taash and Davrin.

(?): Everyone please stop. Rook needs rest, and… food, probably…

So, with Davrin we're getting into the list of characters who are not logistically safe. That means this one is likely Bellara: the tone fits a shaken Bellara who has just lost Rook AND Neve, and also fits the clear followup well (see below).

(?): Yeah. A lot happened. But it can wait. Until you've had some rest. (?): Yeah. There's a lot to catch up on. After you rest, anyway.

If my guesses are right so far, that means this is either Neve or Harding. These last two lines could really fit either of them. I think that the slightly more hesitant tone of the latter one makes it fit Harding better.

LI Follow Up

Rook: Thanks, Bellara. Bellara: Of course. I'm here for you. Whenever you're ready.

This one is why the "everyone stop" line seems like Bellara's to me. Rook has got to be overwhelmed and hungry and exhausted after everything, and is thanking Bellara for noticing that.

Rook: Lucanis… Lucanis: Go get some sleep before you collapse. If anybody knows how bad that is, it's me.

This Lucanis follow up is why I think his line is the "enough of this" one. Again, he is putting Rook's wellbeing first-- which, is also SO sweet for "crow-always-puts-the-contract-first" Lucanis. Ugh!

Rook: Taash… Taash: You need rest. I'll make you tea. Do you want ginger or lavender? Rook: Emmrich, I can't… Emmrich: Please. For the sake of one who's missed your company.

These are quite obvious and fit the preceding lines well, and are both equally sweet and caring. I love them!!

Rook: Rest? There's so much… (?): There always is. Don't worry. I won't start without you.

Rook: I can't rest, there's too much— (?): Who knows you best?

I'm tossing these back and forth between Neve and Davrin. I'm assuming the first one is Davrin: because what would anyone else be starting? So I'm thinking it's Davrin talking about feeding Assan? LOL. And the second one feels like Neve, best detective in Minrathous.

Rook: But there's so much to— (?): Please, Rook. For me.

This leaves the last one to be Harding. But it could easily fit any of the companions, really.

Player Dialogue Choice

option: Then let's all take a break. Rook: Everything you've done, you all deserve a rest as much as I do. option: Not too long Rook: The gods can wait a little while longer. Rook: Not for too long. But fine, I'll go rest. And hey, it's nice of you to care.

I would guess the paraphrases here are for the thumbs up/agreeable choice and the second is the stoic/stern one. The "hey, it's nice of you to care" is probably coded to happen no matter which choice, because of the next lines:

Close

These all seem to be written to occur no matter who is romanced, because of Taash's:

(?): You're quite welcome.

Polite, well-mannered speech? Yup, it's Emmrich.

Davrin (?): Assan will be happy to see you.

Definitely Davrin.

(?): It didn't feel right with you gone.

This feels like something Bellara would say, especially with how emotional she already is in this scene.

(?): Yep. What they said.

I'm stuck on this one between Taash and Harding. One on hand, the clippy, aloof attitude seems like Taash. But the little "Yep" could be Harding, too.

(?): It's good to have you back. (?): I'm so glad we got you back. (?): Rest well, Rook.

That leaves these three a toss-up between Neve, Lucanis, and Harding/Taash. If the "yep" is Harding, I think the "it's good to have you back" would fit Taash, and since the theme of Lucanis's lines here seem to be focused on sleeping, the "rest well" may work for him.

(?): I'll see you in a bit.

This is probably a catch-all line for all companions to say depending on who's romanced.

[nadas-dirthalen]

I Chose the Wrong Romance in a Game About Regret, and It Made the Game Better

A love letter to BioWare about Dragon Age: the Veilguard.

I don't have the thoughts in me for a formal review of all the aspects of gameplay at this time, nor do I have the brainpower for dissecting my every theory just yet.

But tonight, I want to write to you about the thing that stuck with me the most about Dragon Age: the Veilguard. And that is... I chose the wrong romance for my Rook, and it made the game unforgettable.

Veilguard endgame spoilers below the cut.

(I just liked this tiny screencap, okay. This specific dialogue isn't what I want to talk about.)

For a few days now, I've been trying to think of how to phrase what I want to say. The emotions I felt in the endgame of Veilguard were massive—to the tune I became dehydrated. To convey why that was, I think I have to start at the beginning.

This is the story of Winged Death: the party, the romance, and the headcanons that formed a nightmare combination to break me emotionally.

Meet my Rook: Thenera Sa'renan Aldwir, or Nera for short. A Veil Jumper who lost her mom to blight sickness when she was a teen; who tried to find the Wardens at Skyhold only to learn they'd been exiled; who joined the Veil Jumpers to protect people, but also honor her mother's memory. (Yes, all of this becomes relevant.)

Her name is taken from elven: Thenera from theneras (dream), and Sa'renan from sa (one; one more) and renan (voice). I used the patronymic system outlined in Project Elvhen: Sa'renan was her mother's name. I chose all this in late August, long before I'd really theorized anything substantive about Veilguard.

I did not know how much it would hurt.

All through the game, I got more and more into Nera's head. This was helped out a lot by how much footage I'd seen in September, how I knew Nera would be the "throw a chair while beating up an entire bar" Rook rather than try any attempt at diplomacy. How I knew she'd punch the First Warden without second thought, despite not knowing what the First Warden had done before Weisshaupt. She was always the "hit things with rocks to fix them" Veil Jumper to me, just like Bellara's dialogue references.

It also meant that I felt a lot of her insecurity in the early game: her doubt in her own intellect; her insecurity in her Dalish identity from being kicked out of her clan as a child and living in Wycome as a young adult; her acute awareness of her own trauma and fear around all things blight. To mirror my Inquisitor, who had Dirthamen vallaslin, I gave Nera Falon'Din vallaslin, to signify that she had seen too much death at far too young an age.

I even picked a party for her "default" group: Lucanis and Davrin. Because of Nera's Falon'Din vallaslin, Lucanis' demon wings, and Assan's battlefield presence, I gave my group a name: Winged Death.

And I loved them.

But just like I'd headcanoned a lot of Nera's backstory, I also hypothesized a lot about the Lucanis romance. And, to put it briefly... the game did not match what I expected, and the Lucanis romance was not to my enjoyment, personally. (If you like it, good! I'm glad you do! This post is about Nera, though.)

Right away, Lucanis asked about Nera's favourite drink. When she said tea and he made a disgusted noise and nothing else, I reloaded, choosing the "better" answer of liking the same coffee as him—something that prompted more dialogue. For me, in hindsight, this was the first moment I should have seen that for all Lucanis' charm, he would not fit my gruff, chair-throwing Veil Jumper. But I'd committed, and I was determined to see it through just once.

I didn't want Veilguard to be the story of an elf romancing an elf—for me, that was my Inquisitor's story. I wanted a new flavour.

Only... Lucanis' romance, for Nera, did not pick up much from there. Almost the entirety of act 2 was silent—and that was after saving Treviso. Lucanis seemed to care more for Neve and Minrathous than he did for Rook, in my perception. By then, I'd sunk into Nera's headspace, and I could feel her feeling neglected. I could feel her insecurities rearing their ugly heads: was she too blunt? Not intelligent enough? Somehow too elven, even for a Crow, whose organization is made up of so many elves?

You know who she constantly found acceptance in, though? Whose approval triggered almost every time Nera answered a question honestly, in the stern way that she was predisposed to do?

Davrin. The other half of Winged Death. The one who, now, was bickering with Lucanis almost nonstop in party banter, each constantly jabbing the other about how death would come for them, death would claim all they'd known, their choices would bury them.

Lucanis had precious few opportunities to discuss Nera being an elf; an elf Rook facing down their own gods. But Davrin? Davrin talked about it so much, he would know the horror of being called Da'len by Elgar'nan.

Together, they survived the Cauldron. And where did they shelter? In the ribcage of a slain archdemon. But not just any archdemon.

Zazikel. Who has been confirmed now, in a Veilguard codex, as Falon'Din's archdemon.

And where were the griffons allowed to go, at the end? Arlathan.

I could never have foreseen those parallels, and yet? There they were, piling up too late. I'd already made Nera's choices for her, and I'm not someone who would normally attempt a love triangle.

(She's so pleased with their shenanigans. Just look at that totally carefree and happy face.)

Lucanis' content dried up for Nera, but stayed pretty consistent for Neve—to the point that she had begun to feel sincerely cast aside. I began playing her with that mindset: as if she'd been set adrift, even as she locked in Lucanis' romance.

Around 45 hours into my ~60 hour playthrough, I found myself thinking... maybe I try the Davrinmance next game. Maybe I reroll Nera, even as a Veil Jumper again, to see those griffons in Arlathan. To see two Dalish elves haunted by the same ghosts, and see how they grow. I talked to friends about it. I even headcanoned some more, trying to see how Nera's narrative and personality might slot in with Davrin's questline.

In my head, that looked a little like Nera realizing she felt stronger kinship and connection with Davrin, but denying that to herself. She was, after all, locked in with someone else.

I let myself laugh at this, taking more screenshots of Nera and Davrin than of Nera and Lucanis, right up until the beginning of act 3.

And that's how BioWare got me.

If you're here, you know what comes next. I didn't.

I thought I needed Harding to potentially face down Solas, thanks to her line about wanting to look him in the eye after one of Solas' memories. I thought, maybe, some dialogue would unlock by having Harding in the party during any potential final confrontation.

This was the second time I went against Nera's own character: I chose to keep Harding at Nera's side, rather than Davrin. I did it for my Inquisitor.

And at first, I thought Davrin was surviving my choice.

I even felt happy—proud—that I freed him during the Ghilan'nain fight. I thought if I delayed too long, he might die to the fight's mechanics. But he survived that, too.

Then, the worst played out before my eyes: Lucanis going to take the shot at Ghilan'nain. Being caught. Davrin, racing in to defend. Being impaled. Lucanis hitting Ghilan'nain, only to appear suddenly dead—dead, somehow, how could he be dead, I'd just seen him?—seconds later.

Because of Arlathan, I'd thought this was just another Elgar'nan trick. Solas would come to save us soon. He had to. This was just fake-Solas, conjured by Elgar'nan to make Rook lash out or feel lost. Right?

It didn't hit me until I was in the Fade, and Solas was gone. Until Neve's statues were everywhere, because Nera had chosen Neve to risk that dangerous magic. Neve, who was her very antithesis; who was human enough and sophisticated enough and eloquent enough in ways my spellblade had struggled with reconciling since her teen years.

Saying it was my fault, that my Rook chose this for her—and she had. Her decision was motivated by her favour for Bellara.

I think this is when my Rook stopped denying things to herself. Right here.

This was the person she was closest with in her own party. This was the person who shared her feelings on both her culture and the blight. This was the person who brought joy to her days, with more meaningful dialogues (in Nera's opinion!) than Lucanis had had since act 1.

It is hard to put into words how hard this moment hit me. She had chosen wrong—and I had chosen for her. I was reminded of Taash's line from after Memory #2: "There was stuff he wanted to tell her. But he waited too long. And then she was dead."

And then she was dead.

My Rook knew why Fade Jail held her so well, in that moment. Even before the Varric reveal that had my tear ducts begging for mercy.

The game's mechanics had done that to her. Locked her into a romance with Lucanis (my choice, hellbent on seeing it through), didn't let her leave, didn't allow for her to say anything akin to, 'Hey, Davrin, not in this worldstate... but how about the next one?' (and all of those, for the record, are 100% understandable, and just the nature of video games!)

Lucanis continued to have little in the way of content that fit Nera, and was First Talon, to boot. Nothing in the game could change that; games aren't designed that way. He was destined for a life she was never going to enjoy, locked in to that choice—and she, and I, should've figured it out sooner.

We didn't. Varric was dead. Everything had been a lie. We'd been duped; played. We were never smart enough; together, we were doomed all along.

Every insecurity I'd imagined for Nera came crashing down. And all of them, I'd gleaned from hints in Companions Week. From the footage that released on September 19, showing Rook's backstory choices. From the overall tone of the promotional material we saw, and the strong emphasis on companions, and the declaration of the theme of regret.

And it culminated in me crying harder than I have at any piece of media.

Ever.

Ever.

BioWare gave me every hint I needed to make a fitting Rook, and every single choice they showed me I could make was a weapon. That's why I not only accept, but appreciate the 'spoilers' that we got from Bioware beforehand. That's why I am so far from jaded about the Lucanismance. I could not denounce this experience if I tried, and you know why?

Because through Lucanis' continued flirtatious banter with Neve, the way he stays continually animated so close to her, and the way he gives the same mid-combat praise to Neve as to Rook, my Rook felt like a woman scorned. And it made the game BETTER.

I wouldn't have cried so hard, for so long, if Nera was allowed to be happy. I wouldn't have been shaken to my core as a Solavellan, wondering if there really could be a light at the end of this long, dark tunnel.

The game wouldn't have hit me like it did if Lucanis hadn't come to Rook to declare his feelings only after she had spent time mourning Davrin and Assan. It wouldn't have hurt so good if Lucanis' dialogue afterward never mentioned his worry for exclusively Neve, and not the loss of Davrin—who he'd travelled with all game long.

But Solas had done it: he had molded Nera into a creature of pure regret.

And I, through my determination to try a romance that turned out not to fit my Rook, had let him.

The way it was structured, Lucanis' every sweet word rang hollow after Nera was freed from the Fade, and it made Davrin's, Varric's, and (what I thought was) Neve's deaths hurt that much worse.

There was nothing that could fix the pain in Nera's heart, the pain of her wrong choices not just in failing to romance Davrin, but failing to question Solas, failing to notice peculiarities about "Varric" in the Lighthouse. She felt like she failed, and she had. Undeniably. Because no matter where the conclusion of the game would take us, she'd never end up happy. She'd never want the life of a First Talon's spouse.

Every piece of her character lined up with regret, all at once. It all clicked into place, all in two soul-crushing hours.

Her name is Thenera Sa'renan Aldwir—and she was the victim of a dream of just one voice. She wears Falon'Din vallaslin, and was given a moment to spend time alone with the many, many dead.

Falon'Din: friend of the dead. That was what Nera had become, wasn't it? Because her closest party member—and what might have been her truer love—would not be coming back. Because I could feel that a part of her did not want to leave Fade Jail, and that Emmrich really did have to pull her out.

Winged Death destroyed her.

She rained down fire and lightning all through parts 13 and 14. She became Wrath and Thunder. I let her hit enemies harder than she had to, wasting her mana at every opportunity. Let her vent her every frustration. All I could think of, through the hurt, was this codex.

Elgar'nan, Wrath and Thunder, Give us glory. Give us victory, over the Earth that shakes our cities. Strike the usurpers with your lightning. Burn the ground under your gaze. Bring Winged Death against those who throw down our work.

Nera became all that was left of Winged Death, having let Lucanis fight with the Crows, taking Taash and Harding instead.

Elgar'nan was resistant to all her magic in that final fight. She was weakest at the end, and I didn't want to change her specialization to avoid that fact. She was broken, deep down. Solas' happy ending did not fix what the game had done to Nera's heart.

She, the other half to my Inquisitor, ended up with the opposite fate. Where my Inquisitor's journey on the din'anshiral was ending (or at least, was no longer alone), Nera had thought she had the companionship she wanted, only to wind up on the din'anshiral alone, with no way of recovering Davrin.

Which brings me to her last parallel: Solas' devotion to Mythal. Saying that if he did not tear down the Veil, then "I—she would have died for nothing."

To love someone and say nothing; it twisted them both up inside. Rook and Solas, always intended to be mirrors. One death, enough for each of them to bring the Eldest of the Sun to his knees. To change the elven pantheon forever.

I don't know how I managed to stumble upon this level of pain, but I could not be gladder that I did.

So, at the end of this extremely long post, here is my praise for BioWare. You mad geniuses, if any of you ever, ever see this... you wove regret into this game so well, so deeply, that my own passing thoughts about romance beats and game mechanics wound up stabbing me an additional time in Fade Jail, just as deep as the wound of Varric's death.

So well was this narrative constructed that I found my Rook in every corner of this story, even its tiniest references twining with every headcanon I had made.

Veilguard is so good, so profound, that a romance that did not work for me made the game better. That, to me, is the mark of a kickass narrative: one that fits almost any headcanon while still delivering on a deep, resonant theme.

BioWare couldn't have known that my party would be "Winged Death." Couldn't have known Nera, or her position as a Veil Jumper, or her doubt in her own intellect and her own ability to love. Yet, that is the beauty of Veilguard and of Dragon Age in general: they don't have to know. The writing is brilliant enough that it fits as much as one single story can in terms of possibility, while still hitting home with the same theme for everyone.

So thank you, BioWare. Thank you to every writer, to every animator, to every amazing, talented human whose hands and minds touched this game.

I needed the cry after a hard year, and you all delivered in the best way. I'm doing the Davrinmance now—because I think it's right to try it, and I think Nera deserves it—but this run will always hold the dearest place in my heart. The one where the regret bloomed, in part, because of jokes and headcanons I had made in the middle of a romance I did not enjoy, wishing for a different second playthrough.

The one where it all stabbed me, all at once. You bastards. (affectionate)

[starfanatic]

“My roman empire is-“

My roman empire is that Ares can be as protective and caring towards his family as much as he wants and it will almost never be reciprocated. He went out his way to fight giants that were way too powerful for him to fight alone, but he did it anyway to protect his mom and his sister.

And what does he get in result? Forgotten for a year and 3 months. In some interpretations he was literally tortured and SA’d.

Even then, he’s a incredible father to his kids, and even goes out his way to kill the man who r@ped his daughter.

He gets put to trial, the first time any god has been put to trial for killing someone, because he was trying to protect his daughter.

He gets injured by Athena and runs to his father, but only gets ridiculed and insulted. When Artemis goes to Zeus after getting injured, she gets comforted.

Zeus loves Apollo so much more then Ares, yet Apollo is the one who went against Zeus’ word the most, even outright betraying him and attempting to steal his throne. ALONG with Zeus’ other child Athena.

Has Ares ever done any of that? Nope.

My roman empire is that everyone hates the way he acts, but they never understand WHY hes the way he is. They make fun of him, but will neve recognize the good things he does.

[redwinesupernoova]

You know out of everyone i feel really sad about how Taash is written. Not only their writing is bad, but hypocritical, too? I understand the struggle with femininity, but "no one likes being a woman" bit with Neve and criticising her choice of style, even thought it is not very feminine, but she MUST be wearing this cause she was forced too, right? No sane person would like to wear feminine clothing or be a woman am i right gals??? And do not get me started on them REFUSING to address Emmrich anything other than thinly veiled insults to his profession.

Being forced into roles is hard and draining, but i didn't see their mother as bad as she was portrayed? She was just confused? It really paints a contrast between the conflict with Dorians father (Who DID tried to force his son to be entirely somone else) and Taash's mom. I'm really sad that you can't tell "hey, she's confused, go easy on her" in exactly this phrasing.

Their character arc COULD be good. The struggle with yourself under an order as oppressive as qun. But it's not it. And it feels like a waste.

I just wish Bioware didn't fire 50% of their staff.....

[thedissonantverses]

I feel like I am walking into something dangerous but here's a cute HC - Taash and Harding are teaching everyone else at the Lighthouse to braid their hair, to varying degrees of success 🥺

Ohhhhhhh you’re gonna hate me and I owe every Laasher on the planet a fuffy fic for this one. For those of who don’t know I’m taking cute head canons and seeing how fast I can turn them into angst:

After Tearstone if Harding is the one who sacrifices herself Taash is really struggling between losing their mom and Harding. And they are really young mind you so as much of a bad ass as they are like that’s so much.

And Davrin tries to help but he’s hurting too and survivor’s guilt(which I imagine they all have). Emmrich tries to bring them to eat and keep to no avail. If Neve is there she tries but she’s so broken up about Bellara and vice versa. Lucanis is barely able to stay Lucanis cause Spite is so desperate to get Rook back romanced or not.

But one morning Taash is doing their hair and struggling. Maybe in their room with the door open. And even though she’s never quite gotten the hang of it Bellara grabs a brush and gets to work. Neve did get the hang of it and is happy to help. Davrin theoretically could (he’s good with his hands) but instead he hums then finds himself singing softly as he wanders by since he was checking on them all anyways. And Lucanis winds up taking over for Bellara. Emmrich brings them all tea and they just sit in the quiet for a while, still haunted by their lost friends but able to pull together for just a little bit.