#Needed to make something with my big feelings about Good Luck Babe! and ended up rewatching Bend It Like Beckham just to make this | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

evansbby · 2 years ago

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𝐃𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐅𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐀𝐰𝐚𝐲 (𝐏𝐎𝐘𝐓 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐧-𝐨𝐟𝐟)

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: alpha!Bucky Barnes x naive omega!Reader, also featuring: dark alpha!Steve Rogers

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Misogyny, a/b/o dynamics, dubcon, dark Steve, poyt!Steve (yes, he is a warning), mentions of smutt, 18+ minors dni.

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: It’s your first day at college and Bucky, a popular alpha, asks for your number. (This is a spin-off of my fic Preying on You Tonight, exploring what would have happened if Bucky had gotten to omega before Steve. You do not need to read that fic to understand this one).

𝐀/𝐍: It’s finally here! As the writer, all I sincerely ask is for you to read it till the end. I put a lot of hard work into this and it’s been a long time coming. I really hope you give this fic a chance, and I hope you enjoy! This is 16.8k words.

It’s gonna be okay, it’s gonna be okay, it’s gonna be okay. You quietly chant under your breath as you make your way into the intimidatingly large lecture hall. World Politics. It’s a senior class, mostly males, majority alphas. But you’ve managed to get in – the only freshman who was accepted – and it makes your heart flutter with excitement. Maybe they’ll all be impressed, you think to yourself, clutching your bookbag tightly as you make your way inside.

Everyone’s already sat down or milling about in groups. You shoot a few smiles here and there, hoping someone might smile back – but everyone seems busy catching up with their own friends. You sigh – of course, you don’t expect to make friends right away. But you probably will soon.

There’s a pack of intimidating looking guys in the back of the room, they draw your attention because of how loud they’re being as they laugh and joke around. Football players, you think to yourself – they’re all wearing blue jerseys with the university emblem. And they’re all so big and broad. There’s a blond one who seems bigger and scarier than all of them, and there’s also a brunet – also big and intimidating but he looks slightly more laid back than the others.

You snap your head away as soon as he looks in your direction, feeling your cheeks heat up. You’re confident you’ll make friends, but it probably won’t be anyone from the resident campus jock group. Not wasting any more time, you make your way to the front of the lecture hall and take a seat in the very first row. Hopefully, someone else would join you and you could strike up a conversation.

You’re arranging your pens in colour order when your phone vibrates.

Peter: Good luck, babe! I know first days can be hard, but you’re gonna smash it! See you tonight!

Smiling softly, you text your boyfriend a quick response before putting your phone away – the lecture is about to start and you don’t want to miss a single word.

A chorus of loud snickers makes you look back over your shoulder. It’s the group of jock alphas – they’re only a couple of rows behind you now, laughing over something while they look in your direction. You suddenly feel self-conscious, looking over your hoodie for any stains, eyes scanning around your vicinity for anything remotely funny.

You’ve just given up and gone back to opening your notebook when you feel a tap on your shoulder. It’s the brunet alpha, he’s standing next to your desk with a cocky smile on his face.

“Hey, newbie.”

You smile shyly, “Hi.”

“YOU’RE SUCH A DOG, BARNES!” One of the alpha jocks hoots from the back and all the rest of the pack guffaws too, some even making barking sounds. It causes the smile to freeze on your face.

The brunet laughs in his friends’ direction before turning back to you, “Ignore them. You a transfer student or something?”

“No. I’m a freshman. This is my first day.”

“Freshman, huh?” He licks his lips. He’s got nice lips; you think to yourself before inwardly shaking your head in alarm. You have a boyfriend, you remind yourself. But the brunet in front of you also has nice eyes, you can’t help but notice. Light blue and shining, along with scruffy brown hair and a smattering of facial hair. “What’s a little freshman like you doing here? You realise this is a senior class? Are you lost, newbie?”

“No, not lost, I’m meant to be here.” You tell him firmly, “I was interested in this class so I applied for it. I was the only freshman to be accepted.” You hope it doesn’t sound like you’re boasting, you can’t help but feel proud about it.

The brunet nods thoughtfully, “No kidding. You must be very smart.”

You shrug modestly.

“What’s your name, newbie?”

You tell him and he nods, repeating it to himself slowly as if he’s savouring the word.

“I’m James.” He says, “I mean, everyone calls me Bucky but you can call me James.”

You giggle nervously, “Wh-Why do I get to call you that?”

His smile is lop-sided and lazy, and you can’t help but stare. It brightens up his whole face, painting an image of mischief across his features. But he’s not intimidating, not like his friends who continue to hoot and yell behind him. You feel fire on your cheeks because he looks kind of… cute.

Wait. What?

“Pretty girls like you are allowed to call me James.”

The professor chooses that moment to clear his throat as he begins to start up the PowerPoint presentation.

“Well, anyways, newbie. I just came over to say hello. And while I’m here, I was wondering if I could borrow a pen. I forgot mine and you seem to have… a lot.” He gestures to your collection of pens – you have one in just about every colour of the rainbow.

You nod eagerly – you hadn’t expected an alpha jock to be the first one to speak to you at college, but you weren’t complaining.

“Sure! Take your pick,” You say enthusiastically “The blue one doesn’t work too well, but the rest are all good! If you prefer ink pens over ballpoint, I’ve got those too!”

“What about this pink one?”

“Oh,” Your response is less than enthusiastic, “I mean… I always use the pink one. But if you really want it–”

He laughs, reaching out and patting your hand softly. And the touch, despite being seemingly innocuous, sends thrills up and down your spine. You can’t help but think how much bigger his hand is than yours.

“That’s alright, sweetheart. You use the pink one. I’ll take this one instead.” He grabs a green pen, and that’s when you get a strong whiff of his scent. Smoky yet dewy – like a cosy fireplace on a winter morning. Fresh like snow mixing with the earth, like cold rain mingling with a special kind of musk.

Bucky seems to notice how you suddenly pause, your nose twitching as you repeatedly inhale his scent. He chuckles softly, waving a hand in front of your face, “Hey, you still there?”

You shake your head, giving yourself a moment to gather yourself before looking up at him, “Yeah, uh. Yeah, I’m here.”

“Good. Because the lecture’s about to start, and you look like someone who doesn’t want to miss a word.” He winks, and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t send shivers of excitement up and down your spine, “Well, thanks for the pen, newbie.”

And then he goes back to join his friends, leaving you with a lightness in your heart, a spark in your eyes and a smile on your lips. You’d always thought jocks were mean, but Bucky – James – had been nice. Maybe it was a sign, a sign that your first year of university perhaps wouldn’t be as daunting as you originally thought.

You risk a glance back at him. He’s sat a few rows behind you, next to his blond friend. The two couldn’t be more different – with Bucky sitting back, relaxed and laughing, the pen you gave him dangling out of his mouth like a cigarette. The blond sits up straight with rigid posture, and he looks sullen, a touch of a scowl on his face as he looks at Bucky. And then he turns, piercing blue eyes glaring right at you.

You turn back to look in front. That can’t be right. This blond jock doesn’t even know you. Sighing, you begin to take notes, the world of politics taking over as you excitably fill page after page.

You’re immensely satisfied when the class ends – it was everything you wanted it to be and more. With the risk of sounding like a nerd – and you are a nerd, you’ll happily admit it – you’d enjoyed every second of the lecture, soaking in every word like a sponge. If this is what all university classes were going to be like, you’d stay forever.

“You look happy, newbie.” It’s Bucky again; the rest of his group is milling around by the exit, and you can’t deny the thrill you feel at the fact that he hung back with you.

“I am happy, wasn’t that just the most fascinating lecture ever? I mean, I’d heard things about this professor, that he’s so mesmerising to listen to. And it’s true!” You sigh almost dreamily, hugging your fresh notes close to your chest, “I feel like I’ve learnt more in this past hour than I did in the entirety of my high school history class.”

Bucky just stares at you, a smile on his face that reaches all the way up, making the sides of his eyes crinkle.

“What?” You ask consciously when he continues to just… look at you.

“Nothing. You’re just very cute, all bright-eyed and enthusiastic. Not like us jaded seniors.”

“BUCKY, LET’S GO.” As if on cue, the blond alpha bellows across the lecture hall.

Bucky seems wholly unperturbed, even as you jump from the loudness of the blonde’s tone.

“Your friend’s calling you,” You shuffle from one foot to the other, unable to ignore how the blond alpha is glaring at the pair of you all the way from the doorway, “He seems really impatient.”

With a wave of his hand, Bucky dismisses this claim, “Oh, don’t mind Steve. He’s just pissy these days because his girlfriend’s being a bitch.”

Oh. You have no idea what to say to that, so you just continue to pack up your things.

“So, what are your plans for the rest of the day?”

“I’m gonna head over to the library,” You answer excitedly, “I’ve heard it’s really, really big. One of the biggest in the country. I got a glimpse of it during orientation, but I’ve got the rest of the day free so today I’m gonna sit in there and catch up on some reading, and may–”

“Why don’t I walk you there?” The brunet offers. And it’s his quiet confidence that gets to you, the way he’s got this small smile on his face, as if he knows you won’t refuse him, “I have a class in that direction anyways. Steve does too. We could both walk you there.”

You glance once more at Steve, who – believe it or not – is still glaring at you. Or are you imagining it? You’re about to respond when a tall blonde girl in a cheerleading uniform skips up to him. They kiss, and then leave the lecture hall hand-in-hand. You turn back to Bucky, who shrugs.

“Well. Scratch that. I guess it’s just you and me then, newbie. C’mon. I’ll give you a campus tour.”

Talking with Bucky is surprisingly simple. He’s easy-going and laidback, completely cool in the way he makes conversation. Talking about himself but at the same time asking you questions about your life. You’ve always been shy but you find yourself at ease with him, you find yourself laughing at his jokes… You even catch yourself staring at him more than a few times, completely captured by his pretty eyes and lazy smile.

“I’m mostly friends with everyone on the football team, but Steve’s my best friend,” He nods at the blond alpha who’s walking a few paces ahead of you two, hand-in-hand with the cheerleader who you assume is his girlfriend. “We’ve known each other since we were kids. And then there’s Sam, but he’s hungover so he didn’t come in today.” Bucky’s eyes crinkle as he laughs, “Classic Sam.

The walk to the library is over a little too soon.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you in the next lecture. Thanks for walking with me.” You say, backing away but not wanting to completely leave just yet.

“Princess, wait.” He grabs your hand, yanking you back till you’re only a few inches away from him. And maybe it’s the shock due to the fact that he called you princess, but you just… let him do it. He grins down at you.

“You’re not gonna leave without giving me your number first, are you?”

You giggle nervously, and you’re surprised that you have to swallow down the words ‘yes, I’ll give you my number’ which are on the tip of your tongue. Instead, you shake your head slowly, “I, uh, I have a boyfriend.”

The alpha blinks, hand freezing midway through running through his hair. But then he relaxes, and that familiar lazy smile returns to his face. “So? Can’t friends save each other’s numbers? We’re friends now, aren’t we?”

You feel heat rising up your neck and spreading to your cheeks, “Oh. Of course. I guess we are. Sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed–”

“No worries, princess.” He takes your phone, quickly putting in his number and texting himself from yours before handing it back to you. “Your boyfriend’s a lucky guy, by the way. But I’m sure he won’t mind if I text you tonight, right?”

Bucky doesn’t wait for an answer, instead just winking at you before taking off. And you stand outside the steps of the library and watch him for a second. He catches up with Steve and gives him a hard thump on the back before falling into step next to him. Steve still has a scowl on his face but it slowly dissipates, and you watch for a moment as the two alphas talk animatedly. Even if Bucky hadn’t told you earlier, it was clear as day that the they were best friends.

It takes you a while to realise that you’re staring, and you quickly retreat into the library, the magical pull of books and knowledge sucking you in and making you forget about everything else.

***

“I’d say it was a good first day, as far as first days go.” You deduce, walking into the living room with a bowl of popcorn in your hands. You hand it over to Peter, who’s scrolling through Netflix in search of the perfect movie. Which is an impossible task since the two of you had seen practically everything Netflix had to offer – you guys had more movie nights then you did date nights. Actually, you can’t remember the last time you and Peter had gone out on a date. The thought seemed weird… you were much more comfortable sitting on the couch and gorging on popcorn and talking the night away with him – like you were right now.

“That’s good. Did you make any friends?”

You think back to Bucky’s twinkling blue eyes and feel a jolt of electricity run through you. Bucky was your friend, right? He’d said so. But for reasons you don’t quite understand, you only clear your throat and shake your head. “No. I talked to a few people but that’s all. I mean, it’s only day one, right? Nobody makes friends on day one.”

“True.” Peter agrees, his mouth full of popcorn. “Okay, so, I’m thinking it’s a teen dystopian movie kind of night. Hunger Games or Divergent?”

Your brow furrows while you think, “I don’t like Divergent and I’ve seen The Hunger Games way too many times.”

“Okay, how about Catching Fire?”

“The ending of that one makes me sad.”

You bicker back and forth before settling down with Alice in Wonderland, and the popcorn is half finished by the time the beginning credits start rolling. And that’s when your phone vibrates.

James: Hey, princess. You busy?

A smile touches your lips before you cast a quick glance at Peter. He’s half laid down on the other end of the couch with his eyes locked on the screen. You swallow down the guilt – you know Bucky is just your friend but it still feels kind of wrong to be texting him when you’re meant to be watching a movie with Peter. But there’s a large part of you that wants to answer, and it doesn’t take long for that part of you to win the inner conflict inside your head. You quickly text back:

You: Hey! I’m currently watching a movie with my boyfriend.

Your text is truthful, but you hope Bucky doesn’t think you’re dismissing him. His reply is almost instantaneous:

James: Aw, how cute. What movie is it?

You: Alice in Wonderland. Have you seen it?

You mentally kick yourself after you press send. What a dumb question – of course he’s seen it! Who hasn’t seen one of the most recognisable Disney movies of the last decade?

James: I have. I didn’t know you were such a big fan of cartoons, princess.

You feel the ends of your mouth tugging into a smile before you give Peter another glance. He’s polishing off the last of the popcorn, engrossed in Alice as she tumbles down the rabbit hole. You grab the empty bowl and stand up. “I’ll go make some more popcorn.”

Peter nods, “You want me to pause it?”

“No, that’s alright.”

You float into the kitchen and put another bag of popcorn in the microwave before taking a deep breath and looking down at your phone again.

James: Maybe we could watch a movie sometime? I’ve got a flatscreen in my room ;)

You feel a shiver go down your spine when you read his text, and you let yourself imagine it for a split second. Watching a movie with Bucky. In his bedroom. On his bed? You’d never been to a boy’s room before – except Peter, but he’d been your best friend all through high-school. Sure, he was your boyfriend now but you always do the same things you guys did when you were friends – just with added kissing and sometimes touching.

“Babe, you done?” Peter calls for you as if on cue.

Once more awash with guilt, you quickly type out a text:

You: I’m sorry, I should get back to the movie. Good night :)

You switch your phone off for the rest of the night, trying to focus on Alice’s adventures in wonderland, but the thought of Bucky dwindles at the back of your mind as if it’s there to stay.

***

You plan on avoiding Bucky the next day but that proves to be an extremely flimsy plan. You’re sitting in the front row when him and Steve and another guy – you assume it’s Sam – walk in. You get a pleasant whiff of Bucky’s scent before it’s overpowered by something stronger – the smell of firewood and a hot summer day. They walk by you, with Bucky giving you a small smile and a wink and Steve sucking in a breath, his nostrils twitching as he walks past you. Strange. What was his problem?

You still feel guilty about the previous night. Peter was your first ever relationship so you might not be the biggest expert on these types of things, but you’re sure that getting giddy over another guy texting you is not good girlfriend behaviour. You need to put a swift stop to it, starting now. You spend the rest of the lecture taking notes diligently, stuffing the thought of Bucky to the back of your mind.

When the class ends, you try to scurry away to the library. But you don’t get too far down the corridor before a hand encloses around your wrist and tugs you back.

“Princess, wait up. Where are you hurrying off to?”

“I – uh – I need to go to the library to print something.”

Bucky raises an eyebrow, “I’ll walk you.”

“Oh no, that’s okay.”

He looks at you for a handful of seconds before sighing and taking a step back, “This is about last night, isn’t it? My texts scared you off?”

You bite your lip, “James, I have a boyfriend.”

“I know, I know.” He runs a hand through his messy brown hair, shifting from one foot to the other before those icy blue eyes settle on you again. “I’ll be honest, princess. You’re so pretty, I thought I’d shoot my shot anyways.”

Your jaw drops, “B-But I have a boyfriend.”

He shrugs, looking virile and handsome with his facial hair and lazy smile, “That’s never stopped me before. I mean, it’s not really a big thing with me and my friends. If we want a girl, we go after her, boyfriend or not, it doesn’t matter to us.”

“Oh.” You don’t know whether to stay or just leave, and you’re debating over just that when Bucky pipes up again.

“Look, princess. I like you. And I have a hunch that you like me too. And as I said before, I usually don’t care if the girl I like has a boyfriend. But you’re different, I want to do right by you.” He strokes the palm of your hand with his thumb and it’s like you’re mesmerised by the feeling. “I’d really like to take you out sometime. But I can give you time to break up with your boyfriend first.”

You gasp, pulling your hand out of his grasp, “James Barnes! That’s so wrong. You know how awful of a person that would make me? And I barely know you!”

“Just think about it. I really like you.” He says earnestly, blue eyes sparkling and locking with yours as he grabs your hand again, “And breaking up with him will spare this guy the embarrassment of being with a girl who’s no longer into him.”

Your jaw drops open at his audacity, “That’s not true–!”

“Bucky, we have practice.”

Steve rounds the corner, stopping short when he sees the two of you so close, his eyes narrowing as they zero in on your intertwined hands.

“Gimme a sec.” Bucky answers, not even sparing Steve a glance, eyes unblinking as they stare at you meaningfully.

For the second time, you snatch your hand out of his grip. “I-I – uh – I have to go!” You do the easiest thing you can think of, backing away and getting the hell out of there. Bucky’s just dropped a huge bomb on you and Steve’s intimidating as hell, so you deem it best to put some distance between you and the two alphas as you speed-walk away from the situation.

“Why are you talking to that trashy omega?” You hear Steve mutter as you turn your back on them, and the hurtful words make your heart jolt.

“Hey, don’t call her that.” Bucky answers, and that’s the last thing you hear before you round the corner and escape into the comforting clutches of the campus library.

***

So, Bucky liked you. He liked you. As in, he wanted to take you out on a date. This information has you feeling giddier than it should. You’ve never known anyone to like you like that (except Peter) and never so brazenly. You can’t help but feel all light inside. A popular, handsome senior liked you!

But then, the flowy lightness inside you is overtaken by wracks of guilt, showering down on your heart like hard, jagged rocks. You’re with Peter. You like Peter. You can’t get happy over Bucky liking you when you’re with Peter. That’s just a fact.

You lay low for a couple of weeks, avoiding Bucky like he’s the plague. But you know his eyes are on you, glued to the back of your head during every lecture, when you keep your face pointedly facing forward and never look back at him. You can’t. You’re in a relationship. You have to respect it.

But then, things take a different turn than you ever expected them to.

Peter scores an internship at Stark Industries, which means he has to move to New York immediately. And you’re so happy for him, it’s what he’s been working towards and dreaming of for as long as you’ve known him. His goal of tackling the tech world is similar to your own goal of being the first person in your family to earn a university degree. You’re thrilled for him. But sitting on his bed and wistfully watching him pack, it’s like you both know what this means.

The break-up is mutual. Peter says that he’ll be busy with work, and you agree that you’ll be busy with college assignments too. And after one last movie night and a tearful goodbye, you both agree to try to remain best friends. He promises to come see you when he’s got a free moment, and you tell him you’ll travel up to New York once you’ve saved enough money to be able to afford it.

And then he’s gone. Off chasing his dreams and you couldn’t be happier for him.

But now you’re single. And what does that mean for you?

***

Bucky approaches you after spring break, sporting a healthy tan and messier hair. You’d overheard him and his friends talking earlier, so you knew they’d all flown to Cancun for the past week. Lucky them. You’d spent the break studying in your room, making notes for the next set of lectures to make sure you were well-prepared for them.

“Hello, princess. You’re looking extra beautiful today.”

You look down at your old hoodie and ratty leggings and wonder if he’s joking with you. “Uh, thanks?”

“I’m serious. You’re glowing, which can only mean one thing. You broke up with him, didn’t you?” Bucky leans down over your table, giving you a strong whiff of his wintery scent. It’s like freshly powdered snow and warm fire logs, enveloping around you like a welcome hug after your lonely spring break.

You purse your lips together, focusing on your notes except the lecture hasn’t started yet so you have nothing to write down except the date. But you’re determined not to look at him, “Actually, it was mutual.”

Bucky’s grin only gets wider, and to your surprise, he plops down on the empty seat next to you. Your eyes widen, “Wh-What are you doing?”

“What? I can’t sit next to you? Is this seat taken?”

Well, of course it wasn’t. You usually sat alone. Nobody really spoke to you apart from Bucky, but that was okay. It’s not like anyone was ever horrible to you either. Except Steve with that one comment that he’d made the other day. But you must have overheard him wrong.

“So, what did you do over spring break?” He asks.

You shrug, “I read up on the next few chapters on our syllabus.”

Bucky nods, “A quiet week, huh? Well, I wish I’d stayed back too.” He chuckles when he sees your raised eyebrow, “Hey, don’t get me wrong. Cancun’s beautiful, but it gets tiresome after a while. All Steve and Sam ever did was hook up with different girls. Constantly. Me? I just didn’t feel like doing that this time around.”

You frown, casting a short glance at Steve, except you quickly look away because he happens to be staring right back at you. But why was Steve hooking up with other girls? Didn’t he have a girlfriend? You mull over it for a second before you register the other thing Bucky had said. “Y-You didn’t feel like hooking up with anyone?”

The brunet clasps his hand over yours and shoots you a sparkling smile, “Why would I? When my girl wasn’t there with me?”

Bucky takes you out the following weekend. And you don’t know why you agree, when it’s so soon after your breakup with Peter. But when he asks you out, it just feels right, and the word “yes” is flying out of your mouth before you have the chance to think about it. Peter’s probably seeing other people too, you think to yourself. And the thought doesn’t bother you at all, because why shouldn’t Peter have his fun? He was single. And so were you.

Bucky presents you with a bouquet of pink tulips at the start of your date, and sits on your bed with an amused expression on his face while you quickly tend to them. Trimming the stems and finding a vase before setting them on your windowsill. “You look beautiful, princess.” He comments, making your cheeks feel like they’re on fire before he grabs your hand and takes you out.

The diner he takes you to is casual and pretty, only a few minutes outside of campus. The evening sunlight spills down through the window while Bucky brazenly holds your hands in his over the table – even when the waitress is taking your order! It makes you squirm, but in a pleasant kind of way. And he tells you about himself while you eat, how he knows he’s from a privileged family but always felt different growing up.

He tells you about all the mischief he and Steve got up to when they were kids, and then teens, and now young adults. And you can’t really imagine Steve, all stoic and mean and preppy-looking, getting up to any kind of mischief but you smile and nod anyways, loving how Bucky tells his stories in such an easy-going and charming way.

You’re a bit more guarded when he asks you about your childhood, though. You keep it brief and simple, outright evading certain details because you don’t want to get into it right now. But Bucky seems to understand, squeezing your hands before grabbing a napkin and wiping a spot of sauce on the side of your mouth.

He takes you to a nearby park after that. He buys a small loaf of bread so the two of you can feed the ducks. And he never lets go of your hand, and you can feel him watching you as you focus on the ducks gobbling up the pieces of bread. And then he grabs your chin and gently turns your face to him and he kisses you. And it’s sweet. Sweeter than it is with Peter. And you kiss him back, because you like how light and fluffy and exciting it feels to kiss Bucky.

It feels like you’re on cloud nine.

The dates get more frequent after that. Bucky walks you to class every day, holding your hand and talking to you about anything and everything. Like the latest report your class has been assigned, or his football team winning another game, or any new books you’ve read. You find yourself giggling and opening up a lot more, every shy bone in your body relaxing when you’re talking to him.

The kissing and touching becomes more frequent too. Often, he comes to your dorm room and things get hot and heavy. And oh, it’s so exciting feeling Bucky’s hands on you, and his expert kisses leave you breathless! He really was an incredible kisser, taking control and moving his tongue so lazily and perfectly against yours. But something within you always stops him before he can go any further.

“Bucky, please. I just got out of a relationship and I don’t know if I’m ready for sex.” You tell him truthfully one evening while he’s got you pinned down on your bed in the middle of a particularly passionate make-out session.

Bucky lies back down beside you while you fix the buttons of your cardigan which he’d almost had undone. He reaches down to adjust his boner through his jeans, “Princess, you’re killing me here. I want you so bad.”

You swallow, “I’m sorry, James. I just don’t think I’m ready.”

Light blue eyes smile down at you as the alpha sits up and grabs your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “Don’t apologise, princess. I understand.”

“I just feel bad, I don’t want you to think I’m leading you on.” You duck your head, but he grabs your chin and lifts it up again, making you look at him.

“I’ll be honest, I don’t think I’ve gone out this long with a girl without sleeping with her.” Bucky confesses, scratching his head with a sheepish look on his face. “I haven’t been a great boyfriend in the past, and my motives have usually been selfish.”

Your eyes grow wide, but you don’t say anything.

“I’m telling you this because I care about you, princess. I think you’re different.” He tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear and chucks you under your chin till you smile. “I like talking to you and spending time with you. You’re smart and beautiful and I know we haven’t been together long, but I really see a future for us.” He kisses you sweetly, and you’re too busy trying to tame the butterflies in your stomach to respond properly, but you try your best anyways.

“What I’m saying is, you can take all the time you need till you’re ready. I’m not going anywhere, and I’ll wait as long as I have to till you’re ready to have sex.” Bucky finishes earnestly, and you can’t help but wrap your arms around his neck and plant a million kisses on his face. He’s saying all the right things, everything a girl wants to hear from her boyfriend.

“You really mean all that?” You ask him softly.

“Yes, princess, I mean it. You’re my girlfriend, and I’ll wait for you for as long as you need.” Bucky looks earnest and sweet, and you hug him hard. You feel a mix of thrill and nervous energy flutter through you. It’s something you’ve never felt before. But it’s a good feeling, and you welcome it with open arms as Bucky continues to leave tiny kisses all over your face. Till you’re giggling against his lips and hugging him close, feeling lighter than a feather.

***

Being the girlfriend of a popular senior was not something you’d envisioned happening to you at the start of university. But Bucky made it feel so natural, introducing you to all his friends, holding your hand all the time and including you in all his plans. His friends are nice enough: Sam was a bit cold at first but he warmed up after a while. Thor was loud and funny, Ransom acted overly smart and confident but seemed to have a sensitive side too. Curtis was mysterious and Andy was kind of dopey, and they were all friendly with you.

But then there was Steve.

The blonde alpha glowered at you any chance he got. Whenever you were in his presence, you could feel his steely blue eyes boring holes straight through your skin. You always kept out of his way so you were unsure why he seemed to hate you. Bucky just said not to take it personally, that Steve was just going through a rough patch with his girlfriend and he didn’t hate you at all.

One day, you’d gone over to Bucky’s house where he – unfortunately – lived with Steve and Sam too.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Steve had demanded when he’d opened the door and seen you standing there.

“Uh… James to-told me to meet him here after my morning classes.” You explain, feeling oddly nervous around the big alpha. You’re naturally shy but you’d come out of your shell quite a bit ever since you’d started dating Bucky. But Steve was just so intimidating, standing there in just a pair of grey sweats that are slung low over his hips. You avert your gaze to the ground in a bid not to stare at his bare chest.

Steve regards you suspiciously before stepping aside and letting you in. And you feel his heated gaze still on you as you brush past him to get inside. And that’s when you hear him inhale sharply, a low rumble coming from his chest before he stumbles. You whip around just in time to see him recover, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Are you okay?”

Steve scoffs, “Why the hell wouldn’t I be okay?”

“Uh… You kinda just tripped?” You point out hesitantly, and the blonde alpha’s pale face goes crimson before he clears his throat.

“I did not trip.” He glowers through gritted teeth.

Okay then. You decide not to question his rude and erratic behaviour. “Where is James’ room?”

Steve glances upstairs before leaning against the kitchen counter, his intense gaze locking on you as his frown relaxes into a smirk. “He’s taking a shower right now. You should wait for him down here.”

“Okay.” You sit down at the kitchen table. The house is big, spacious and minimalistic in the way it’s decorated. The kitchen is modern and it’s clear that there’s only boys living here, because you can see a ton of takeout containers and microwave meals strewn across the countertops. Once you’re done observing your surroundings, you notice Steve still staring at you.

“So, you’re Bucky’s girlfriend now, huh?” He breaks the silence.

“Yes.”

“Strange. I never thought he’d go for someone like you.”

Your brows knit together into a frown as a pang of hurt echoes inside you, “Wh-What’s that supposed to mean?”

He shrugs, and you try not to focus on his broad, muscular shoulders. But it’s not easy to just look at his face either, because he’s so intimidating. He runs a hand through his light hair, “Nothing, omega. Don’t worry your little head over it.

Your jaw drops open, “Don’t call me that, please. I have a name.”

“As if I care.”

God! It was like talking to an eight-year-old. You had no idea that Steve was this immature and rude, and it makes your blood boil. You’re just about to get up and find Bucky’s bedroom yourself when you hear a pattering of light footsteps coming down the stairs.

“Steve, I have to go. But promise you’ll text me tonight?” It’s a girl. You recognise her from college – you’ve definitely seen her around campus somewhere. But she’s definitely not Sharon. She skips up to Steve and plants a kiss on his cheek, and the alpha only responds with a grunt. You get a weird feeling inside you as you watch this exchange, but try your best to shake it off.

The girl stops to shoot you a smile. “Hey, you’re Bucky’s girlfriend, aren’t you? Nice to meet you!”

She leaves before you have a chance to reply, and you’re left staring at the back of her head as she shuts the door behind her, getting an eyeful of her hair which you vaguely notice is the same shade as yours. And it’s only when she’s gone that you realise your mouth is open in shock, and you slowly turn to Steve who looks wholly unbothered.

“Aren’t you going out with Sharon?” You can’t help but blurt out.

Steve raises an eyebrow, but says nothing as he continues to just stare at you. You feel hot all over, and you don’t know whether it’s because of his eyes on you or because of the sudden anger you feel at the blatant display of cheating you’ve just witnessed.

“That’s not fair on your girlfriend, Steve.” You whisper.

And all Steve does is stare at you, to the point where you feel waves of heat on your face. And then suddenly you’re hit with this overwhelming scent of burning firewood. A freshly mown lawn with a strong sun beating down on it, and smoky wood on a hot summer’s day. Your eyes widen as the intimidating alpha walks over to you, leaning down at the table where you’re sitting.

“I don’t remember asking for some lowlife omega’s opinion on my private business.” He says softly, but there’s danger and threat embedded in his words and it makes your blood run cold. But your nose can’t stop twitching as it takes in his heady scent, and you feel your mind cloud over and your limbs grow weak like jelly and–

“I’d appreciate it if you’d put a shirt on in front of my girlfriend, Stevie.” Bucky chuckles, elbowing past Steve and making his way over to you. He helps you up and plants a firm kiss to your lips. You’re still rattled by the blonde alpha, though, and distractedly kiss your boyfriend back. You can still feel Steve’s eyes on you, and it’s unnerving to say the least.

“You ready to go, princess?” Bucky tugs at your hand and you nod, allowing him to pull you out of the house. It’s only when the fresh outside air whips against your face that you seem to snap out of whatever trance you’re in. You swallow and shake your head as Bucky leads you to his car, and you only speak once both of you are inside.

“Steve did something awful.” You breathe.

Bucky frowns before squeezing your arm, “What? Did he touch you?”

“N-No, he…” You shake your head, feeling a wave of anger overtake you momentarily, “He had a girl over, James. He was cheating on his girlfriend!”

“Oh.”

The silence is louder than ever as Bucky starts up the car and backs out of the driveway. He puts his arm over the back of your seat as he looks over his shoulder, and it’s not until he’s on the main road that you huff:

“Is that all you have to say?”

Bucky grimaces, keeping his eyes glued to the road, “Look, Steve isn’t exactly in love with Sharon.”

“But she’s his girlfriend, Bucky. He shouldn’t be cheating on her either way!”

“I know, I know. What can I say?” He pauses, as if mulling over how to say his next words. “Look, princess. Steve’s young, he’s only in college. It’s what us guys do. Why have one piece of the pie when you can have the whole thing, you know? That sort of thing.”

It only takes Bucky about three seconds to realise the error in his words. You turn to stare at him in utter shock and horror. Was this really James? Your James? Who had said all the right things and been so sweet and gentlemanly all these weeks? Who had respected your boundaries and never questioned you or lashed out for wanting to wait?

“Is that why you’re so okay with us not having sex?” You say quietly. “Because you’re getting it from somewhere else?”

“What? No, sweetheart. No, that’s not it at all.”

Bucky turns into a random lane and stops the car before turning to you. You try to bat him off but he grabs both your hands in his, bringing them up to his lips and pressing kisses on your fingers and palms before yanking you into an embrace.

“I’m sorry. That was a terrible thing for me to say.” He mumbles into your hair, and you try to find solace in his scent but it’s not strong enough right now. He kisses the top of your head before drawing back to make eye contact. “Princess, I’m not seeing anyone else behind your back, that I can promise you.”

“But how can I believe you? When it was so easy for you to justify what Steve’s doing?” You sniffle.

Bucky sits back in his seat and sighs, but he doesn’t let go of your hands. “Look, it’s no secret that us alphas are all a bunch of assholes. We don’t really hide it, either. Steve’s cheating on his girl because, well, it’s almost normal for a lot of us to do that. And I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t slept with multiple girls without them knowing about each other in the past.”

You bow your head, not liking this at all. But Bucky grabs your chin gently, lifting it up so you look at him.

“But I’m past all of that now, okay? I really like being in a serious and committed relationship with you, princess. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a girl, and I would never even think of being with anyone else.” He cups your face and strokes your cheek, and his eyes are so pretty and blue, and you can feel your heart melting already as he gives you a peck. “I guess I just wasn’t surprised by what Steve did because I’m so used to it.”

You nuzzle your face into his palm, “Can’t you tell him that it’s wrong? That you’ve grown out of doing stuff like that, and that he should too?”

Bucky chuckles, pressing your cheeks and nose with more soft kisses, “I could. But Steve is extremely stubborn and bossy, in case you haven’t noticed.” He pauses, smiling fondly at you when you giggle softly in agreement, twining a piece of your hair around his finger. “The way I see it, we should just focus on our relationship, and let Steve do whatever it is he’s doing since it’s got nothing to do with us. It took meeting the right girl for me to recognise the error of my ways. Maybe soon, he’ll find someone that he’ll want to be better for too, right?”

You nod, despite that weird feeling surfacing inside you once more. But you shove it back down and give Bucky a smile as he pulls you in for another long kiss.

“Well, let’s get to that movie, shall we? We’ve probably missed the opening credits and I’m gonna have to cut the line to get us our snacks, but I think we can still make it.”

You spend the rest of the evening at the drive-in movie theatre with Bucky. He reclines his seat and makes you climb over the console to sit in his lap while the two of you watch Gone with the Wind on the big screen with a bag of sweet and salty popcorn and a bar of chocolate to share. Once the snacks finish, you sleepily rest your head on his chest and let him stroke your back through your hoodie. And you almost fall asleep like that, Scarlett O’Hara’s indignant dialogues lulling you into a peaceful slumber until your nostrils are unceremoniously invaded with the scent of burning firewood and a hot summer’s day.

Opening your eyes slowly, you peak out the window to see another car pull up beside Bucky’s. And your heart sinks down to the depths of your chest when you see who’s inside. Steve. And Sharon. She’s talking to him animatedly, but he seems sullen and unresponsive as always. That is, until they start making out, and you have to forcibly look away when Steve’s eyes meet yours and you feel this burning feeling in your chest.

You swallow harshly before cuddling up to Bucky even more.

“James, I’m sleepy,” you say softly.

“Yeah? You wanna go home, princess?”

“Yes, please. If that’s okay?”

“Sure, princess.” He lifts you up and places you back on the passenger seat before pressing a kiss on your forehead. “Close your eyes and rest. I’ll tuck you into bed once we get back to your dorm.”

And he does just that, carrying you all the way back into your dorm room and helping you change before putting you to bed. And you can’t describe whatever it is you’re feeling but all you can do is clutch at his shirt when he goes to leave, pulling him into bed with you. And he rains your face with a billion kisses before you both fall asleep in each other’s arms.

***

Life at college continues. You’re still in contact with Peter, despite the two of you being so busy. But he sends you updates about his internship and all the cool technology he’s being exposed to. You tell him about your classes and all the interesting things you’re learning. You also, very tentatively, tell him about Bucky. Surprisingly, Peter seems supportive, and the conversation between the two of you grows easy once more.

The romance between you and Bucky seems to blossom with every passing day. He carries your books to class and takes you out on cute dates that make your heart flutter. Picnics, scenic walks, movies, restaurants – he takes you everywhere you’ve ever dreamed of being taken. And how your heart had skipped a beat when you’d seen he’d had a bouquet of yellow roses delivered to your dorm room! There was no note or tag attached, but you knew they were from Bucky. Who else could they be from? And they were the prettiest flowers you’d ever received, and the butterflies in your tummy fluttered at his perfect choice.

It was also in the little things he did, like kiss you on the forehead reassuringly or squeeze your hand when you’re feeling nervous. And slowly, you feel yourself coming out of your shell more and more. You find yourself laughing out loud and voicing your opinions that usually you would’ve kept silent.

Being Bucky’s girlfriend meant hanging out with his group of friends, too. And it thrills you that you’re able to hold conversations with some of them, and have them be genuinely interested in what you have to say and not just write you off as a “dumb omega”.

One day, you find yourself sitting on Bucky’s lap in the campus courtyard between classes, a number of his friends surrounding you. You still feel nervous around this many people (especially intimidating seniors) but with Bucky squeezing your hand reassuringly, you find the task less daunting than you normally would, as you grow to feel more comfortable with them.

Well, most of them.

“…and then I told her to fuck off, because who knows what kind of diseases she was carrying. I mean, she’s fucked half the football team after all.” Steve says cockily, taking a drag from his cigarette while the alphas around him all laugh as if he’s cracked the funniest joke of the century. Even Bucky chuckles before you shoot him a look and he stops, a sheepish look on his face.

“I mean sure, she’s got a great ass, but there’s nothing attractive about a slut who spreads her legs for any man who looks her way.” The blond alpha continues, and it irritates you how all his friends seem to hang on to his every word, looking up to him like he’s some sort of God.

Having been with Bucky long enough, you had somewhat cracked the hierarchy of his friend group. And Steve was definitely the leader, the one they all flocked to and tried to impress. Well, not Bucky – he and Sam were the only ones who would keep Steve in check. But the blonde alpha’s ego was through the roof, as were his misogynistic ideals and derogatory views towards omegas and women in general.

And you hated how shy you were, especially around him. You felt sickened by Steve’s gross statements but you could never say anything against him. A part of you just wanted to be liked and accepted by Bucky’s best friend, but Steve only alternated between glaring at you or pretending you didn’t exist.

“HI, BABY!”

A high-pitched squeal knocks you out of your reverie, and you watch as Sharon jogs up to Steve in her pretty blue cheerleading outfit. Together, they look like the perfect couple. Head cheerleader and the captain of the football team. Perfect. You feel that weird feeling bubbling up inside you again but do your best to keep it at bay.

Steve rolls his eyes before Sharon launches herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and planting her lips on his. Steve, however, remains stoic.

“Gosh, baby, could you please put that cigarette out?” Sharon says, pushing a wayward lock of Steve’s blonde hair off his forehead.

“No.”

She giggles, shaking her head before turning to you. “Men, huh? Stubborn as ever. I’ve asked him to stop smoking about a bajillion times, but he never listens.”

You smile and nod, feeling stupid and awkward as ever because Sharon is pretty and popular and you don’t know how to act.

“I like your pin.” Sharon points at the World Politics Society pin on your bookbag, “I couldn’t even dream of getting into that class. You must be really smart.”

Steve snorts but everyone ignores him.

“Thank you, I find the subject really interesting,” you reply.

You watch Sharon as she talks to everyone in the group. She’s kind, confident and beautiful – everything you wish you were. But that weird, indescribable feeling keeps surfacing inside you every time she locks hands with Steve, or brushes his hair back, or smooths the wrinkles on his sweater.

“And Mister Barnes, how come I’ve never met your girlfriend before now? When she’s practically my sister-in-law?” Sharon hits Bucky lightly on the arm before shooting you another bright smile. “We should organise a double-date. Me and Steve and you both. That sounds fun, doesn’t it?”

Steve scoffs but everyone ignores him.

“Epically fun, Miss Carter.” Bucky gives her a charming smile before tugging you close to his chest. “We could go bowling or something. If His Highness is up for it.”

Steve takes another drag of his cigarette, saying nothing. In fact, he’s barely said a word since his girlfriend joined the conversation, and you find that to be weirdly peculiar. Why was he even with her if all he did was cheat on her and ignore her every time she spoke?

“Looking forward to it!” Sharon smiles before checking her phone, “Okay, I gotta go now or else I’ll be late for practice. I’ll see you tonight, baby?” She gives Steve a peck on the lips, which he also doesn’t return.

“Sure.” Steve answers, finally seeming to snap out of it as his hand meanders down to squeeze her ass. You feel your own hand clench into a fist but you quickly relax it and hope no one saw. What the heck was that? Why had you reacted that way?

“What a fuckin’ bitch.” Steve resumes once Sharon is out of earshot. “As I was saying, I told this other whore who was all over me the other day that I just wasn’t interested in sluts like her, and she said–”

“Could you stop being such a misogynistic jerk?!”

You can’t believe the words have left your mouth, and your hands start shaking immediately once you realise they have. Never before have you raised your voice at someone like this, let alone a formidable alpha who’s about twice your size.

Steve’s cold blue eyes rest their steely gaze on you, when up until this point he’d been content on pretending you weren’t there. You dare peak up at him and see his jaw tick, and a vein protrude from the side of his forehead.

“What did you just say to me?” He asks softly.

“Hey, leave her alone.” Bucky says warningly, but you sit up straight.

“I’m… I’m sorry, but I just don’t like how you talk about women.” You say, hating how your voice shakes and how you can’t look Steve in the eye.

“And I don’t like the tone you’re taking with me right now.” Steve’s intense gaze bores holes straight through you before he looks at Bucky, “Haven’t you taught her not to speak to her superiors like that?”

Your jaw drops open in pure shock, “H-How dare you–”

“Okay, let’s go.” Bucky hoists you to your feet while your whole body seems to shake with shock, anger, and a tiny bit of fear. The brunet alpha holds you tightly by the arm before evenly glancing back at his best friend. “Steve, don’t speak to my girl like that. In fact, if you’re going to be rude, then don’t speak to her at all.”

You and Bucky don’t stick around to hear Steve’s retort, and it’s only when you round a corner and are hidden from the rest of the group by a brick wall, that you burst into tears.

“He’s – so – awful!” You cry, your heart pitter-pattering in a mix of fear and hurt. You hated being spoken to like that, like you were beneath him. Bucky holds you close and you sob into his chest, hugging him as hard as you can. His solidness and wintery scent is a source of comfort to you, and so is his hand which rubs your back soothingly.

“He shouldn’t have spoken to you like that, princess. I’ll make sure to speak to him about it later.” Bucky promises you, pressing soft kisses to your hairline while you cry, leaving splotchy tear-stains on his shirt.

“Why is he even with Sharon when he doesn’t seem happy with her at all?!” You burst out, desperately wiping at your teary eyes except it doesn’t stop you from crying even more. “He’s just…I just… Oh, I hate him, James! I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!”

“I know, sweetheart. I know. I’ll talk to him, don’t you worry.”

Looking into his earnest eyes, you can tell Bucky’s intentions are good. And you don’t know if he talks to Steve or not, but you do receive another delivery of yellow roses to your dorm room that very night. This time, there’s a note attached too. “I’m sorry” is all it says, and you can’t help but smile as you hold the roses up to your nose and take in their delicate scent. Bucky was obviously feeling bad about the whole situation – and it wasn’t even his fault!

But clearly, your boyfriend knows you well, because the flowers do lift your mood up a little bit. You place the second bouquet of yellow roses caringly next to the first one. They look expensive and beautiful, and have your entire room smelling heavenly and sweet. It makes you smile and clasp your hands together, and you’re just about to call Bucky when you hear a rustling from outside your window, followed by a series of heavy footsteps.

Strange. Who would be out at this time? And in the bushes outside your dorm room, no less? You decide you’ve probably imagined it, but you close your window and draw your curtains anyways before calling Bucky.

“You’re the best, you know that?” You tell him, a huge smile plastered on your face as you take one last whiff of the roses before flopping down on your bed on top of all your pillows and stuffies.

“I do know that, sweetheart, but it’s nice to hear you say it.” Bucky laughs from the other end of the phone. “It’s also nice to hear you sound so happy.”

You grab your stuffed rabbit and tug his ears mindlessly, “Yeah, I know I acted like a huge cry-baby earlier today.”

“Didn’t I tell you not to worry about it, princess? Anyways, I spoke to Steve.”

Your heart skips a beat, “You did?”

“Yes. Look, he’s set in his traditional ways and he’s stubborn as hell. But he did look like he regretted speaking to you that way, and I don’t think he’ll do it again.”

You breathe a sigh of relief, “Well, that’s all I want. Thank you for speaking to him, James.” There’s a pause, and then you pipe up hesitantly: “And what about Sharon? Is he still going to stay with her?”

“Uh, yeah. Why wouldn’t he?”

BECAUSE SHE’S NOT RIGHT FOR HIM! The omega inside you screeches, and the sheer vitriol you feel makes you sit up straight, eyes wide and hands shaking. What the heck? Where had that outburst even come from?

“Hello? Princess? You still with me?”

You clear your throat and physically shake your head to rid yourself of that weird feeling that seems to be bubbling inside you so often now. But never before had it manifested into your inner thoughts screaming at you like how they just had. You feel hot all over, and quickly place your palm on your forehead to check if you have a fever before remembering Bucky is still on the phone.

“I’m here. Sorry, I just…” What can you even say to him? Without sounding crazy? You take a deep breath. “Thank you for talking to him, James. I’m just glad he won’t be mean anymore. Everything else isn’t really any of my business.”

“That’s good to hear, sweetheart.”

***

True to Bucky’s word, slowly but surely, Steve becomes a lot more bearable to be around. He’s still awful in his misogyny but at least he no longer glares at you or makes you feel unwelcome and uncomfortable when you’re with Bucky and his friends. You still catch him staring at you sometimes, but you must be imagining it because you know he hates you. You try not to care though, and only focus on Bucky.

“I want you to meet my parents, princess.” Bucky says to you one day. The two of you are in your dorm room where you’d just completed an intense study session. Well, you’d been studying while Bucky grew distracted after about ten seconds of staring at his textbook, and proceeded to kiss and touch you while you laughed and batted him off. “And I would like to meet your parents too.”

The smile drops from your face almost instantaneously, and you nervously grab your stuffed rabbit and pull its ears. “Oh, I… Uh…”

“I mean, we’ve been seriously dating for a while now, haven’t we? It’s only right that I get to meet the parents of the girl who captured my heart.”

You smile uneasily, heart feeling like it’s about to beat out of your chest. “What are your parents like?” You blurt out, trying to deflect.

Bucky lies back on your bed, “They’re great. My dad’s a lawyer so he’s always working. My mom is usually at home, though. She makes a great apple pie and she’s also great for when I need advice.”

You smile softly, “She must really love you.”

He blinks. “Of course, she does. All parents love their children.”

He goes on to tell you about how his dad used to take him golfing at the country club when he was younger, and how much he hated it. But he’d always get treated to ice cream afterwards, which was why he agreed to go every time. He tells you about how his mother values family over everything, which was why he went home every other Friday to have dinner with his family, and how he’d love for you to join him on one of those dinners soon.

You nod and agree, but you feel like crying on the inside. There’s a sense of yearning inside you that you can’t seem to get rid of no matter how hard you cuddle into Bucky or how much he kisses you.

His hands slowly slip down to your hips, squeezing gently before meandering up under your hoodie. His touch is tentative yet confident, and usually it excites you. But you always stop him before he goes too far, hoping and praying he doesn’t get mad at you. Which he never does. Instead, the two of you lazily make out on your bed until you fall asleep in each other’s arms. And then the nightmares commence, but when you wake up, you can’t remember them at all.

***

“Ooh, look at the pink bowling balls! And the powder blue ones. Aren’t they cute, Steve?” Sharon clutches Steve’s muscular bicep, her perfectly manicured nails scraping lightly against his pale skin. Steve only grunts in response before shaking her off as him and Bucky go up to the counter to pay for one session of bowling for all of you.

Through Sharon’s pure will and determination, the four of you find yourselves on a double date at the bowling alley. She seemed blissfully unaware of the fact that Steve hated you, or that you didn’t particularly like Steve either, and had practically begged Bucky to organise the date. Bucky had said you didn’t have to do it, but what harm could one night of bowling actually do? Especially since Steve hadn’t really been mean to you for a while now.

“Do I seriously have to wear these ugly bowling shoes?” Sharon complains, gingerly holding up the dirty shoes and making a face.

“Don’t wear them. Let’s see what happens.” Steve pipes up.

Bucky laughs, “Unless you want a broken toe, you better put them on.”

It’s Steve and Sharon against you and Bucky. You’ve bowled a few times, so you’re not embarrassingly bad or anything. Bucky is fairly good too. Surprisingly, Sharon turns out to be extremely skilled at bowling, getting a strike on her first try.

And then there’s Steve.

“Another gutter ball, Rogers!” Bucky doubles over in glee, practically in tears. You try to hide your amused smile and even Sharon can’t help but laugh.

“Shut up!” Steve seethes, looking redder than a tomato as he jams his hands in his pockets and walks back to the bench you’re all sitting on. He casts a quick glance in your direction, his nose twitching. “There’s too many distractions here.”

“What distractions, bro? You’re just a bad player.” Bucky mocks, jabbing his elbow into his friend’s ribs and laughing even harder when the blond gives him an absolutely murderous look.

Bucky gets up and stretches, “I think I need a beer. You want one, Steve?”

Steve flips him off.

“I’ll take that as a yes. You girls want anything?”

“Maybe a strawberry milkshake? Or iced tea sounds good. And I think we should also get some food for Steve before he implodes. Maybe nachos? Or curly fries. I’ll go with you, since that’s a lot to remember.” Sharon gets up.

Bucky presses a kiss to your forehead, “Think you can hold down fort and keep us in the lead until I get back, princess?” He whispers.

You giggle, “I think so. I just need to get a minimum of one pin.”

They leave, and you get up to do your turn. Making your way over to the contraption where they keep all the bowling balls, you can feel Steve’s eyes on you. God, without Bucky and Sharon here, you felt all shy and nervous. Not to mention his scent, which was so overpowering as it settled into your nostrils. Just ignore him, you think to yourself before absentmindedly selecting a bowling ball.

You’ve taken one step towards the bowling lane when the ball slips from your sweaty palms. It’s a lot heavier than you anticipated, and you can’t take the weight as you watch it fall down almost in slow motion. There’s a flurry of movement, Steve moving quick as lightning and batting the ball sideways before it completely crushes your foot. It ends up bouncing on the tip of your toe with a loud thud before rolling away under the table.

“What the fuck inspired you to choose the heaviest ball available? You could have really hurt yourself!” Steve shakes you angrily by the shoulder as you remain frozen in place, still registering what just happened.

“I…I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.” You stammer before suddenly becoming aware of your toe throbbing from where the bowling ball had fallen. Most of its weight had been absorbed by your shoe, but your toe still hurts. And you hate being such a baby, but your lower lip can’t help but quiver, and you feel your eyes well up with tears.

You don’t really register it as Steve’s fingers encircle around your wrist, and he tugs you back to the bench, forcing you down before crouching in front of you.

“Did you hurt yourself? See, this is why little omegas like you shouldn’t be carrying heavy things. I told Bucky bowling was a bad idea.” At the mention of his best friend’s name, Steve instinctively whips his head towards the snack counter, and you do too. Bucky and Sharon are still in line, and with their backs turned and so many people around, you doubt they can see you.

You sniffle, “I didn’t think it would be that heavy.”

“Of course, you didn’t. You’re just a baby omega, and sometimes you don’t think about things like that. Here, let me see.” Before you realise what’s happening, he grabs your ankle with one big, warm hand; and uses the other to unstrap your shoe. You gape at him, the scent of smoky firewood and a freshly mown lawn making you swallow harshly and freeze in place, letting him slip your shoe off.

But it only a takes handful of seconds for you to come back to your senses, and you shake your head and cringe backwards.

“Uh, th-that’s okay, Steve. It stopped hurting now, I think I’ll be fine.”

But his grip on your ankle doesn’t loosen, your shoe falling to the ground and his blue eyes zeroing in on your foot which is covered by just your lacy white ankle sock. The air feels thick around you both, and you feel your breathing start to get laboured as you watch his Adam’s apple bob in his throat as he swallows.

Slowly, tentatively almost, he strokes your foot with his other hand. And a part of you is so acutely aware of how weird this is. You boyfriend’s best friend tending to your injury in the middle of a crowded bowling alley – while Bucky and Sharon were in the same vicinity!

“You’ll be alright.” Steve says gently (the gentlest you’ve ever heard him speak), as he continues to stroke your throbbing toe, “You just need to be more careful, okay?”

You find yourself nodding, your entire body buzzing with some sort of strange energy that you’ve never felt before. “I guess I just got distracted.”

Steve’s hand remains rubbing your toe, but his eyes look up to meet yours. And you almost forget how to breathe, feeling like there’s a bubble encasing the two of you, and everyone else is far, far away. All you can feel is his burning gaze and his hand touching you.

He clears his throat, “Yeah, I’ve been distracted all night too.” And you can’t help but notice how long and dark his lashes are, how they contrast so deeply from his pale hair and skin, how they fan against his cheekbones as he blinks up at you almost earnestly. “Maybe I should drive you home.”

That knocks you out of whatever reverie he’s pulled you into. Drive you home? While his girlfriend and your boyfriend stayed here? Was he insane?

You forcibly tug your foot out of his grasp, quickly putting your shoe back on before he can grab it again. And Steve stays in his crouched position in front of you, almost as if frozen in place. He’s staring at his hand, the one that was holding your ankle, before he looks up at you. There’s a fiery look in his eyes, one you can’t fully explain. You also can’t fully explain why your heart is beating like mad, and there’s a warm feeling spreading through your chest.

“I’m fine, Steve. Really. Thank you for uh… Just… Thanks.” You mumble.

Steve blinks, opening his mouth to speak before he shuts it again when he looks beyond your shoulder. He coughs, standing up to his full height and moving away from you suddenly. And you watch him whip his phone out, pretend he’s texting someone, and all the while your heart just won’t calm down. And then you feel a tap on your shoulder.

“We’ve got snacks!” Sharon announces, skipping over to Steve and handing him a bunch of things, “Here you go, babe. These cheesy fries are literally to die for. Me and Bucky picked at them on the way back here. Oh, and here’s your beer.”

You watch as Sharon simpers at her boyfriend, grabbing his hand and leading him to a nearby bench. Feeding him fries while he bats her hand away, instead grabbing his beer and taking a long swig. His face is still red, and his eyes are still bright, and–

“You okay, princess?” Bucky sits down beside you and puts his arm around you, giving you a tight squeeze. “You look troubled.”

You force a smile, “I’m fine, James.”

“Did Steve say something to you? Do you need me to talk to him again?”

Rapidly, you shake your head. Subconsciously, you’ve already made the decision not to tell Bucky about the weirdness that has just transpired. And the guilt is already eating you up from the inside out, despite the fact you hadn’t done anything. Or hadn’t you? Why had you not pulled away sooner? And why was Steve acting this way? Why was he so gentle, so tender? When every other instance between the two of you has been either him ignoring you, or being rude towards you?

Suddenly, your head hurts.

Bucky seems to understand that something is off with you, because he tells Sharon and Steve that he’s tired and wants to cut the night short. You hug Sharon goodbye, feeling like you want the ground to eat you up whole, before your boyfriend leads you out of the bowling alley.

“Princess, please tell me what’s bothering you.” He says moments later when the two of you are in his car.

You force a smile, “Nothing!”

His light blue eyes, so piercing in the darkness of the car, stare at you as if they can see right through you. But all he does is draw you in for a hug, and you feel your body sag into his. Bucky feels so cosy and safe, so dependable and good. All your worries and concerns dissipate for a moment as you hug him back almost fiercely.

“Well, why don’t we go get some ice cream?” He asks kindly.

You bury your face in his chest, not quite done hugging him yet. Maybe you were just overthinking whatever had happened back there with Steve. Maybe the blond alpha was just trying to turn a new leaf and be kind for once. Maybe his actions had been innocuous after all. You sniffle before looking up at your boyfriend and pressing a long kiss to his lips.

“Okay. Let’s do that.”

Bucky gets a double mint chocolate chip cone and you get a vanilla strawberry swirl. He licks the ice cream that you accidentally smear on the side of your mouth as you dig in, and then you both kiss some more. Sweet kisses and sweet touches laced with giggles. And then he takes you on a drive, and you roll the windows down and let the breeze hit your face as if you’re the main character in an indie film, allowing the cool night air to wash away any remnants of guilt. Bucky’s got one hand on the steering wheel and the other one holding steadily onto yours, squeezing every few seconds and shooting you lovesick smiles that you return.

He parks outside of your dorm building and pulls you over the console and into his lap. And you let him kiss you and touch you and try to lose yourself in it. Try not to think of a hot summer’s day and freshly mown grass. You don’t even stop him when he pushes his hand down your leggings and past your panties, and you gasp into his mouth when you feel his fingers brush against your hot core.

“Are you sure about this, princess?” Bucky breathes against your lips, and you want to cry at how sweet he is. How patient and kind. You don’t deserve him at all. You nod your head to indicate that yes, you are sure. You kiss him doubly hard, trying to drown out the feel of wanting to cry. Because actually no, you’re not sure about this. You don’t know if you’re ready. But you feel so bad, so bad for what happened with Steve.

You didn’t even do anything! The rational part of your brain screams. So then why did it feel like you had?

Bucky moves his fingers expertly inside you, his thumb rubbing your bundle of nerves in a way that does make you momentarily forget about anything else except for his touch. You mewl his name, clutching the fabric of his shirt and rutting against him. His large hands rub up and down your back, his lips warm against your ear as he coaxes you, “That’s right, princess. Let go for me, I’ve got you. I’ve always got you.”

You come hard, body shaking and spasming on top of him as he holds you close to his chest. Praises you for being so good for him, for being so beautiful and perfect. And it’s crazy, because you feel anything but those things right now. But you sob out his name softly, and let him stroke your hair back as he continues to talk you through your orgasm, “That’s it, princess. You’re such a good girl for me, aren’t you? Such a good girl. Thank you for letting me in, sweetheart. Thank you for being so perfect.”

He lets you recover, all the while kissing you. And then he walks you to your room and bids you goodnight. He tells you he’d have stayed the night, but he has to drive home to pick up an important document for his father. You manage a weak smile, and return his kisses before waving goodbye.

And then you shut the door and burst into tears.

And you don’t even know why, because nothing had happened between you and Steve! Nothing at all. But you cry for all the confusion within you, the unresolved feelings of guilt that you can’t understand for the life of you, and how you can’t seem to shake this yearning sadness inside you. Oh, why did Steve have to be so different tonight? Why had his eyes reflected such tenderness? Why had he held your ankle like that? Why hadn’t he let go?

Why did you care so much?

You take a long shower and change into clean, comfortable clothes before trying to distract yourself with Netflix. And that’s when you hear a knock on your door.

It’s another bouquet of yellow roses. You smile at the delivery man – you recognise his face at this point, since he’s been to your dorm room three times now. You marvel at Bucky’s quickness, because he’d only dropped you home about an hour ago. He must have paid for express delivery or something. And this time, the bouquet is accompanied by not only a note, but also a small package.

I really enjoyed our date tonight, baby.

You smile softly at the short but sweet message, before your eyes shift to the package. It’s brown and unsuspecting, with a yellow ribbon holding it together. You gently rip it open.

Coal black eyes stare up at you. A furry little face. Tan coloured fur and a light blue bow-tie. It’s a teddy bear! You can’t help but crack a smile, heart feeling lighter than it has all day. Oh, it was so cute! Like a furry little baby. You hug it close to your chest, the butterflies fluttering happily around in your tummy. You don’t receive gifts too often, and this was a total surprise. And definitely one that was helping lift your lousy mood.

You fall asleep with the teddy in your arms, and no nightmares come. Instead, you dream of warm sunlight splashing down on your skin, and green grass so fresh you can almost smell it. And the silhouette of a shadowy figure who holds you close and promises to keep you safe. And the yearning feel goes away. And you feel content.

***

“Okay, do you want the good news first or the bad news?”

“Uh oh.” You bite your lip, immediately assuming the worst as your hand freezes in the middle of tossing a folded shirt into your overnight bag. Today was the day you and Bucky were driving down to Bucky’s family house, where you were finally going to meet his parents and stay for the weekend. “They don’t like me, do they?”

Bucky snickers over the phone, “Wrong, sweetheart. My parents love you. Well, they love the pictures of you that I showed them from my phone. That’s the good news, actually. They seem genuinely excited to meet you. My mom’s planning a whole five course dinner.”

You resume packing, putting in your pyjama bottoms, an extra hoodie, your plastic bag of toiletries, as well as your new favourite stuffed teddy bear. You force out a chuckle, hoping he can’t detect your anxiety and nervousness over the phone, “That’s good. I really hope I don’t let them down.”

“Let them down? How?”

You chew on your lip and whisper, “By not being good enough…”

“Princess, you’re the prettiest, kindest, sweetest and smartest girl I’ve ever dated. I don’t want you putting yourself down like that, okay?”

“O-Okay.” He was right – it wasn’t healthy to keep thinking of yourself in such a negative light. And it wasn’t like you enjoyed feeling sorry for yourself or drowning in self-pity, you just sometimes let the doubts you had about yourself creep in and take over your mind. Despite the fact that since day one, Bucky had been reassuring you about how perfect you were.

But would a perfect girlfriend be feeling as guilty as you were?

“What’s the bad news?” You ask, trying to push your thoughts to the back of your mind and focus on the conversation with your boyfriend.

Bucky sighs, “So, I had to actually stop by my dad’s office to sort out some paperwork. He only trusts me to do it, and since I’ll be working at his firm once I graduate, I figured it would be a good chance for me to show him that I’m actually competent with stuff like that.”

You nod, “That makes sense.”

“But that means I’ll be tied up all morning, so I won’t be able to drive you back to my house in Brooklyn.”

“Oh.” You let the words sink in. “That’s alright, James. I can just take the train.”

“Uh, I don’t think so, princess. But listen, Steve is going home for the weekend too, and his parents are practically neighbours with mine. He offered to give you a lift.”

You feel your whole body begin to shake as soon as his name is mentioned. It’s been a few days since the double date, and since what you’ve dubbed in your head as “the ankle incident.” Even now, your heart flutters at the memory, and you can still feel his warm fingers brushing over your foot as he’d held it in his hands and stroked you so softly. And when you close your eyes, you can see that earnest look on his face, and–

“Bucky, I really don’t mind taking the train.”

“Sweetheart, I know you don’t mind. But I mind, I don’t want my girl taking the train when you could easily just drive there.” There’s a pause as Bucky inhales deeply, “Look, I know you and Steve aren’t exactly the best of friends. But I really think he’s trying to turn a new leaf and be a nicer person. I mean, he actually volunteered to drive you, which is progress. And if I’m being honest, it would really give me peace of mind if I knew you were in the car with one of my friends instead of alone on a crowded, dingy train.”

“James, I really don’t think–”

“Please, sweetheart? For me?”

You exhale slowly, clasping your hands together to stop them from shaking. If Bucky had so much faith in Steve, then maybe it was you who was overthinking everything. Maybe Steve genuinely was turning a new leaf, and who were you to deny someone when they were doing you a favour? The drive down to Brooklyn would be long, but not too long. And Steve hadn’t been mean to you for many weeks now, so maybe it would all be okay?

“Okay, Bucky. If that’s what you want.” You agree softly.

“Great! Steve told me to tell you that he’ll pick you up at 3.”

***

Steve arrives outside your dorm at 2:55pm. Actually, you see his car pull up at around 2:45, and then you watch him park it and sit there drumming his fingers against the steering wheel. And then he gets out of the car and paces around for a while before finally making his way over to your door and knocking on it rather loudly. You give him a quiet hello and he gives you a grunt in return, the exchange giving you a sick feeling in your tummy – would it be this quiet and awkward for the whole journey? Before you can worry some more, Steve takes your overnight bag from your hands and leads you to his car.

“Put your seatbelt on.” He orders you the moment you sit down in the passenger seat.

“I was just about to.” You respond, a tad defensive because he hadn’t even given you a chance to breathe before he’d started ordering you around.

“Just do it.”

“Okay.”

He doesn’t start the car until your seatbelt is firmly in place, and then you sit there twiddling your thumbs in silence because Steve doesn’t even have the radio on. You wonder if you should start a conversation, but you feel too shy. Which is crazy, since you’d really been starting to come out of your shell these past few months. But not with Steve. He was way too intimidating and scary and just… intense.

“How’s your toe?” He asks you gruffly out of the blue about ten minutes into the journey.

“It’s all good, thank you for asking.” Your response is cordial, and you wonder if you sound bitchy or clipped. It certainly isn’t your intention, but you’ve definitely got your guard up and you don’t really know how to speak to him.

Steve sighs, and there’s another fifteen minutes of silence before he pulls into a traffic jam, and that’s when he turns to face you.

“I broke up with Sharon.”

Your eyes widen and you feel your heart skip a beat, “Oh…uh…Oh.”

He nods, “Yeah. I took your advice.”

That makes you snap out of whatever momentary shock his sudden revelation had put you in. “My advice? Wh-What do you mean?”

The car starts moving again, and Steve takes his time to reply, and you wonder whether he can hear your heart pitter-pattering loudly in your chest as you anticipate his response.

“I’ve heard you, you know. All those times you complained to Bucky, asking him why I was with Sharon if I clearly didn’t care about her. And you were right, so I took your advice and I dumped her.”

You clear your throat, nervously tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear, “I didn’t mean… Well… She deserves better, Steve.” You inhale deeply and turn to look out the window – either out of awkwardness or because you can’t seem to meet his gaze. But he’s got a weird pull about him, practically reeling you back in and you can’t help but look back at him once he starts speaking again.

“I told her I wasn’t interested in her anymore. That I was in love with somebody else.” Steve takes a turn off the highway, and you sit there frozen in shock as he takes quick left and right turns, eventually driving into a small, deserted street, where he parks the car. You swallow, but there’s a huge lump in your throat that you can’t seem to get rid of.

“Wh-Why are we stopping here, Steve?”

“I like how my name sounds when you say it.” His hand creeps over the console in a bid to grab yours, and you quickly move back. Your back slams against the door as you cringe away from him, eyes wide and heart racing.

“Wh-What are you doing? Stop!”

Steve scoffs, “Please. Don’t play dumb, I know you like me too. And the sooner you stop denying it, the easier all of this will be for you.”

You can hardly believe what you’re hearing, it’s almost like your own ears are playing tricks on you. As if you’re Alice falling down some weird rabbit hole into a dimension where nothing makes sense. Was this a joke? Was he pulling some sort of prank? But he’s got that same earnest, honest look in his eyes, the look he’d had at the bowling alley. But you swallow and shake your head rapidly.

“Steve, no, I’m with James. He’s my boyfriend, I don’t like you like that –”

“DON’T LIE!” Steve bursts out, and the sudden explosion of anger makes you jump out of your seat, and the panic that ensues in your heart has you grabbing the door handle in a desperate bid to get out of the car and away from him. But of course, the door remains locked, and now you can really feel the cold terror and dread as it overtakes your body.

Steve exhales slowly, running a hand through his blonde hair, “Don’t. Lie.” He repeats, reaching over to forcibly grab your wrist. And his touch alone sense goosebumps up and down your arm. “I knew we had a connection from the moment I saw you. And then at the bowling alley on our date, I knew you felt it too.”

“Y-You mean our double date,” you say slowly, incredulity dripping from your tone, “where you were with your girlfriend and I was with my boyfriend.”

Steve shakes his head, his grip on your wrist tightening, “You were the only one I could focus on that night.” And then, as you watch in horror, he brings your hand up to his lips, kissing it as his eyes flutter shut, almost like he’s savouring kissing your skin for the first time. And you feel every cell in your body, from the top of your head to the bottom of your toes, flutter as he does it. He locks eyes with you, “And I saw how you reacted that night when you opened my gift, that’s how I knew you liked me too.”

His gift? The terror in your veins seems to triple in less than a second, and you feel like you might throw up. You think back to all those bouquets of yellow roses with no name on the notes that accompanied them. And your favourite stuffed teddy with the coal black eyes and blue bow tie. No. No, it couldn’t be. And he’d watched you open them? How?

“N-No, those were from James!” You bat at him, trying to get him to let go of your hand. You suddenly can’t breathe, can’t think. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. “Those flowers were from James!”

“Sure.” Steve snorts, “Is that why you never even mentioned them to him? You knew deep down they weren’t from him, omega. You knew.”

“No, no, no–”

“And how could they be from him? He doesn’t understand you. Not like I do.” He tries to cup your cheek with his warm hand but you dodge him, shaken down to your very core by all the revelations hurtling towards you at top speed. Steve narrows his eyes at you for a second, before grabbing your hand again. “You think he doesn’t tell me everything, omega? You think I don’t know that you haven’t even let him fuck you yet?”

You feel you’ve just been doused with a bucket of ice-cold water, and all you can do is gape helplessly at Steve, any words you may have had on the tip of your tongue now firmly lodged in the back of your throat.

Steve smirks, “That’s right. He told me you haven’t let him fuck you, and it’s been what, three months since you guys started going out?”

“I wanted to wait till I was ready.” You whisper.

“You keep telling yourself that.” Steve laughs bitterly, “But you and I both know the truth, which is that you’ll never be ready. Not for him. Because you don’t want him to fuck you, you don’t want that intimacy with him.” He yanks you closer with the hold he has on your wrist, till your foreheads are almost touching and you’re frozen in place by not only your fear but something else too. Something warm and inviting.

“If you were my girlfriend, you’d already be three months pregnant.”

Your jaw drops open, only a tiny squeak making its way out past your lips. It’s as if he’s stolen all the air from your lungs, and all the thoughts from your brain. You feel hot all over, but also numb. You feel nothing yet everything all at once, and you can’t believe what he’s saying.

“But that’s okay, we still have plenty of time for that.” Steve nods determinedly, his eyes clouding over with an almost wistful, faraway look. “Baby, I have a plan for us. I’m graduating soon, and I want you by my side as the mother of my children. You’re perfect for me, and I’ll give you the family you crave.”

It’s like he’s lit a candle inside you. A tiny, almost minuscule candle of hope fuelled by the picture his words paint, but it flames fiercely nevertheless. Until you forcibly snuff it out and shake your head once more, and deliver more futile pushes to get him to let you go.

“Y-You’re crazy! I don’t want that, Steve! I don’t want any of that!”

“You do.”

“No, I don’t!”

“Yes. You do.” Steve sneers, twisting your arm when you grow more desperate, your movements ceasing as you stare up at him helplessly. But his face remains stoic, and a wild piece of blonde hair flops down over his forehead. “I told you; Bucky tells me everything. How you never really fully open up to him, how you get closed off and distant and sad sometimes and he can’t figure out why because you never tell him.”

“Th-That’s between me and him–”

“Don’t you get it?” He grabs you by the shoulders, shaking you as if he’s had an epiphany and wants you to have it too. “I’m the one who knows you, omega. Not him.” His hand reaches up to cup the wide of your face again, and this time he succeeds because you’re frozen in place. His voice softens, “I know you feel like your mother doesn’t care about you. I know you feel lonely despite being in a relationship with Bucky. I know you felt like this even in your previous relationship before Bucky. And I know you don’t have a dad, and I know it hurts–”

“No, no, no, no!” The tears are welling up in your eyes now, and you feel like you can’t breathe. Like you’re hyperventilating and there’s no escape and you can’t run away because this stupid car is locked and you’re in the middle of nowhere and you’ve never told anyone about your dad! You never talk about that with anyone. You don’t even think about it! How did he know?!

“Hey, hey, calm down.” Steve rubs his wrists over your face, and the tranquil effect of a hot midsummer afternoon warms you from the inside out. You feel your heartbeat go back to normal, and you’re able to breathe again. You look up to see Steve’s face inches away from yours, and all you can feel are the pads of his thumbs slowly stroking your cheekbones, and for the life of you, you can’t explain why you just let him do it.

“Do you ever get that yearning feeling, baby?” He asks you softly, so softly that you almost don’t hear it. His blue eyes sparkle with determination and earnesty, and he holds your face so carefully in his hands. “Tell me, do you ever get that feeling? Of wanting something so bad but you can’t seem to figure out what it is?”

“Yes.” You whisper hushedly, dropping your head in shame. Your heart throbs with the same guilt that you’ve been feeling for days now. Horrific, unforgiving guilt that washes through your body in taunting waves.

Steve kisses you then. And it feels like everything around you seems to stand still. Every particle, every atom, every hair, every speck of dust freezes in place. You close your eyes, and it’s like the sun itself descends down to the earth, making everything bask in its addicting glow. Fireworks and explosions behind your eyes and all around you, his warmth enveloping you like a hug. An embrace of delicious heat that feels like you’re home. Really home, and it’s something you’ve never felt before.

And then you start crying.

“I can’t do this to him.” You pull away, and the panic you feel is almost immediate. “Steve, I… We can’t do this to Bucky. He’s so good to me, he doesn’t deserve this! We can’t, we can’t–”

“He’ll understand.” Steve says firmly, keeping a tight hold on you. “It’ll be hard for him, but once he sees that we’re in love, he’ll understand. And it’s good for him too, because this way he can find a mate who is better suited for him.”

Through the haze of Steve’s smoky firewood and hot summer day scent, you think back to Bucky and his crinkled smile. How he’d been the first one to speak to you on your first day, how he’d walked you to the library and how at ease you’d felt with him. How his lopsided smile, sparkling eyes and effortless charm had reeled you in. All the nights spent cuddling or watching TV or just talking and talking and talking. How respectful he’d been of your boundaries; how sweet and patient and intuitive he’d been any time you felt uncomfortable or upset.

How he’d complimented you every chance he got, building up your self-esteem through his love and adoration. How his easy-going nature made you feel so comfortable… But yet not comfortable enough to let him in. And that’s when the guilt seems to attack every cell of your body, killing you from the inside out. Why? Why couldn’t you just let Bucky in? Why couldn’t you just love him? Why, why, why?

Why did it have to turn out this way?

“No.” You shake your head, trying to shake away the thick haze of Steve’s scent which seems to be corrupting your every sense. And when you next speak, your voice is firmer, and you wipe the tears from your face, and you sit up straight, and you shrug his hands off of you. “No, Steve. We can’t do this. I need to get out, I need to–”

Steve’s eyes narrow once more, “Omega, listen to me–”

“Let me out of this car! Just let me out, okay! I’m not doing this to him! You’re wrong, Steve! You’re wrong, wrong, wrong! I don’t like you like that!” You rattle the door handle desperately, but of course it doesn’t budge. “Let me out, Steve! I can’t think in here, I need to get out! I need to speak to Bucky, I need to… I need to…”

You feel yourself going lax in his arms, your limbs turning to jelly as he places his hand on your mating gland, fingers pressing down. It sends thrills and shivers up and down your body as he draws you back to him, closer and closer till he’s embracing you.

“I’m your alpha.” Steve whispers in your ear, and the possessiveness in his tone rocks you to your very core. “You’re my omega, all mine. It’s like you were made for me. And that’s all that matters.”

You’re about to protest once more, and then you feel his teeth graze against your mating gland. It feels peculiar, thrilling, dangerous all at the same time. But the threat of his action doesn’t register immediately, and it takes you a second too long to realise, and then–

“No, Steve, don’t! Don’t!”

A blood-curdling scream leaves your mouth. Steve’s teeth are sharp and unforgiving as they clamp down on your mating gland. And his bite if so painful, like he’s chipping and tearing away at any traces of autonomy left in your body. The sensitive skin of your neck breaks and tears along with the last remnants of your independence.

Everything stills around you. Everything but Steve. He’s all you can feel now. His heartbeat, loud and wild. Or is that your heartbeat? Everything feels different, nothing is the same. It’s all Steve. All of your senses are Steve. All of your feelings are Steve.

“I’m never gonna let you go.” Steve whispers against the fresh wound on your neck, licking at his handiwork which will soon turn into a mark that brands you as his forever.

His presence around you is infinite. The intense heat of his aura mixed with his addictive scent, hitting you from all angles like a tidal wave.

And, like a bittersweet film coming to an end, it washes away the memory of Bucky before you even have the chance to say goodbye.

SDKGKSLAG OKAY.

So.... did I just present y’all with a Steve x omega fic disguised as Bucky fic?? Despite hyping the Bucky fic for MONTHS? Well... *dodges tomatoes* Yes. Yes I did. I’M SORRY BUCKY GIRLIES. STOMEGA FOREVER. This was the plan from the start, because it doesn’t matter if Bucky asked for omega’s number first - she would always end up with Steve. In any AU. In every AU. ANYWAYS. GUYS. I hope you liked it and I hope you’re not mad! I really really really would love to know what yall thought! Like genuinely, I jsut NEED to know what you guys thought of this bc honestly... I am not so sure AHHHHH. okay i’ll shut up now. Bye.

#bucky barnes #steve rogers #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers x reader #dark steve rogers #sebastian stan #chris evans #sebastian stan x reader

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uwupaige · 3 months ago

Text

the nanny [paige bueckers] part seven

[chapters 11 & 12]

*barely proofread*

‘the nanny’ master list!

chapter eleven: wondering.

walking down the stands minutes after the final buzzer blasted through the stadium, catherine walked hand in hand with paige's daughter through the packed court. the woman wasn't exactly sure where to go or where to meet paige, if she should go outside or find the locker room she'd been residing in after their big win. her eyes scanned the court in hopes to find paige, her heart beating a mile a minute at just the thought.

with no luck of finding paige in the main gym, she eventually found the hallway she originally walked through. catherine took madison down said hall, finding a less populated area to stand and wait for the basketball player at.

catherine wouldn't lie and say she wasn't okay with paige taking a while to come meet them. right now, she wanted to do the best she could at avoiding the woman. once things began to click in her head, it scared her. she couldn't let them become true. whenever she allowed her feelings to control her life, she always ended up hurt in the end, with dumb choices she had to face the consequences of.

the woman's thumbs twiddled anxiously as she awaited paige's arrival, the small tattoo on her right one disappearing each time her thumbs move. how would she act with her now that things had to be weird? she could act normal, but then paige wouldn't know anything was wrong—she wouldn't think anything was wrong with what they had going on. catherine needed paige to back off as much as catherine needed to. things needed to go back to the way they were.

but, that was so hard.

something about seeing paige play so passionately, so in the zone, and still think

to look for her and madison in the crowd made her knees weak and her head spin. her heart swelled at any thought she had about paige, any time she caught her eyes, any time she was just in her presence. realizing the feeling she had for the woman was one thing, but suppressing them would be another. and being as close to paige as she was would only make that harder.

a few minutes passed before catherine felt paige's noticeable and overwhelming presence wash over her conversation with madison, the small girl conversing with the older woman about something irrelevant.

"mom!" the girl cut herself off mid sentence, running a mere few feet down the hallway to reach her mothers arms.

"hey, babe," paige greeted, a cheesy smile plastered on her face. she was so excited to finally find the two girls she'd become to used to coming home to. observing her daughter, she noticed the tired but excited look on her face, the long blinks she took. picking madison up off the ground and hoisting her onto her hip, paige squeezed the girl. "did you have fun?"

"yeah!" madison replied cheerfully, "i wiggled my fingers and sent you good luck." she explained. "and, i saw your three's!"

"my lucky charm," paige commented out loud. she hugged the girl once more, madison opting to rest her head on the blondes shoulder, looking for a comfortable place to begin falling asleep. looking over madison's head, paige couldn't help but notice the way catherine quietly stood there, lacking the normal enthusiasm she carried when greeting paige after a while. "you had fun, cat?" the woman asked, rhetorically.

catherine looks up from her shoes, her right foot crossed in front of her left, hands clasped behind her back, holding the black zip up she was wearing at the beginning of the night. the woman had caught her mid thought. "hm?"

though she was paying attention, she hadn't heard a word paige said. her thoughts were too consumed with the blonde to notice.

"did you like the game?" paige reiterates her question new words, the expecting face from before still there.

"oh," catherine nodded, "y-yeah, it was fine."

"fine?" paige inquired, wanting to direct her thoughts on why she thought the game was just 'fine'.

"it was good," catherine corrected. it was more than fine, better than good. she loved every moment of it. but she couldn't.

paige nodded, unsure if she wanted to poke and prod and ask the woman if she was alright. "okay.." she spoke, falling off slightly at the end of her response, brows furrowing.

and soon, they were leaving the building, heading back to paige's home. catherine cursed herself internally for riding in with paige, the car ride quiet and awkward. but not like their normal awkward, quiet environment. the one where they could just enjoy each others presence without having to say a word. but, the kind where it made the both of them want to jump out of the moving car.

paige wondered why catherine was acting so weird. they had been having such a great night up until this point—wondering where things went wrong? wondering what happened to make catherine so avoidant?

and she has stayed that way since, trying to avoid paige as much as she could.

the woman went back to leaving the bueckers residence as soon as paige returned home for the day, no longer lingering in the woman's kitchen, talking about their day while paige ate the left over dinner catherine had made for madison.

she wouldn't take paige up on random hangouts on her days off or coming to hang out with the team anymore.

the blonde desperately wanted to chop it up to catherine being extremely busy, tired even. somehow, though, she knew deep down it was something more. not only had she felt catherine avoiding her, she'd felt her pulling back emotionally.

paige began to really miss catherine, her presence and how she was always there. waiting to talk, how excited she got whenever paige came home, even though she thought she was pretty good at hiding it.

things stayed the same until the night of paige's second to last game until thanksgiving break.

everyone in the gym waited eagerly at paige's next move on the court, opposing fans and huskies alike. looking to the stands, hoping to find her daughter cheering her on as she strutted down the court, mere seconds until the second quarter was up. the ball was in huskies possession, and paige was sure she could make the wait worth it.

shooting madison a nod, noting her good luck charm in the stands, miraculously next to her other good luck charm, who seemed to have missed paige's wandering gaze, paige refocused on the game before her.

the blonde didn't spend more than a millisecond on the thought, reading as the clock read seven seconds. then, she picked up the pace, the opposing team quick on her tail as a taller woman attempted to swat the ball out of paige's hands. it was a close game, and each teams were being pretty aggressive.

paige almost lost the ball, quick after it before she regained possession of it, her only chance to shoot the ball being barely two feet away from mid court. time was almost out and she had to make the move.

shooting the ball in the air, her feet's lunging her up for more leverage, her wrist flicking naturally and skillfully, the buzzer rang loud in the now almost silent gym, everyone watching carefully at how this would end up.

the ball flew into the net with not even an ounce of hesitation, filtering through the hoop smoothly. not even a second could pass before the stands erupted in cheering.

catherine shot up quickly at this, her eyes bulged at how perfect that entire sequence was, wishing she could replay the satisfying moment over and over. the brunette watched as paige's teammates all ran to her, swarming her with love and praise. she was sure she could hear paige's screaming. though they weren't far from the ground, the noise in the gym was astronomical.

catherine stayed there, standing up with madison cheering just as excited beside her, wide smiles plastered on her face. catherine wouldn't lie, coming to paige's games had become one of her favorite things to do. it was always so fun and entertaining. watching paige play was something she saw as a gift. to be able to be alive and present while someone as good as paige played was something you didn't get to experience everyday. watching paige's passion on and off the court, in everything she did was amazing.

catherine watched as the blonde and her teammates made their way from half court back to their respective seating on the side of the court. everything looked alright until she saw both paige and nika cock their head to the side at the same time. furrowing her brows, the woman allowed her eyes to follow their gaze. she was met with the player on the opposing team that tried to steal the ball from paige, her expression mean and intimidating. though catherine hadn't hung out with nika all that much, she knew the woman wasn't one to back down.

nika tried to walk up to the player, the two sharing words before paige could grab a firm hold of her, not allowing her to go toe to toe. soon a referee was aware of this and sent both of the players away.

however, the seeming rival was still not over as they started the third quarter, that same opposing player as aggressive and mean as she was before.

paige was hot on her tail, the players back to the blonde, and paige not letting down. she blocked every place she could go with the ball, and if she tried to pass it, it'd just end up in the hands of a husky.

frustrated, the aggressive player throws back her left elbow, hitting paige square off in the face as a way to get by. a whistle was immediately blown and the crowd gasped and booed as they watched the blonde go down. catherine stood up quickly, shock plastered on her face and a dramatic gasp leaving her lips.

"what the fuck?" catherine complained aloud, heart tugging as she watched paige lay on the ground in pain.

the blonde rolled side to side uncomfortably, a hand holding her nose, the other slamming against the ground in agony. at this point, all of her teammates were surrounding her, shielding her from everyone's gaze.

"that's a bad word, cat." madison spoke beside the woman, still seated in her spot on the bleachers, unaware of the situation at hand. that was until she finally took her gaze away from the drawing she had been working on that game. "what's wrong with mom?" the small girl chirped up from beside the brunette. catherine was so caught up in trying to get a glimpse of paige, desperately wanting to know if she was okay, she almost forgot madison was also a witness to paige's fall.

"nothing, she's okay," catherine assured, knowing madison would freak out if she saw paige in pain.

however, that didn't work for long.

madison stood from her seat, trying her best to see over the large sum of people in the crowd, opting to stand on her seat to get a better view. watching her mom down on the ground, feelings her mind could only process as hurt and sadness.

catherine noticed the girl was abnormally quiet, looking down to check on her. she watched as her lip quivered, and her eyes became glossy.

fuck.

the curly headed girl started to cry, and catherine was quick to pick the girl up into her arms. she was sobbing out obnoxiously, and catherine did her best to make her feel better, shushing her comfortingly and rubbing her back. "it's okay, mama."

madison kept on crying, babbling something about 'mom'.

catherine felt sad for the girl, a pout coming to her lips as well as she rubbed her back and swayed slightly in her stance to lull the girl.

soon, paige was standing up with the help of her teammates, walking towards the bench. as if she just knew her daughter cry, she looks up and around, searching for her.

"look, mamita, she's up!" catherine cheered, trying to encourage madison to feel better. putting the girl down, she points to paige walking down the court. maybe it was a bad idea to release the girl from her grip, because as soon as madison was on the ground, she was running. "oh, fuck." catherine muttered to herself before she reached down briefly to grab her purse and run after the child.

madison made to it to ground level before catherine could grab a hold of her, the girl still crying for her mother.

catherine used all her strength to pull the fighting girl into her arms and up and off the ground, trying her best to calm the girl. her frustrations were growing and she was becoming tired, ultimately deciding she wanted to cut their night short and leave the gym.

but before she could make it far, paige's voice was ringing through both of their ears, stopping both madison's crying and catherine's fast feet.

madison looked up from catherine's shoulder, pushing herself off of the woman once again and running towards paige.

the blonde had her nose plugged with some kind of cloth, and she was walking towards the pair. madison's abrupt hug startled the woman, paige slightly losing her balance for a moment as she spoke to catherine. "what's wrong with her?" the woman asked, genuinely.

catherine scoffed, a brief eyeroll passing before she responded, "she's upset because she saw you get hurt." the woman explained in an obvious tone.

paige was not expecting catherine's tone of choice, her brows furrowing at her attitude. catherine has never been anything less than sweet towards her. "you good?"

maybe it was the added chaos of paige getting hurt, it being really late, and now catherine's attempts at pushing the woman away—but she could definitely recognize how she was acting towards paige.

was this better than just allowing her feelings to do what they must?

catherine dismissed her question, "i think i should take madison home, she's really upset." the woman explained, her tone softer, avoiding any talk that involved how she was feeling. that would only result in word vomit that she would never recover from.

paige just nodded, still confused on why catherine was the one who was upset—she was just elbowed in the face. "y-yeah. that's probably a good idea."

catherine nodded before reaching for madison, "i need your keys."

catherine had managed to get madison to calm down enough to pull her off of paige, holding her in her arms all the way out of the building. it took a lot of work, and her frustrations began to grew. she was tired and emotionally drained. and the man with a camera and a bright light walking up to her was not helping.

"excuse me, excuse me," the man approached, almost frantically, walking along with catherine down the hallway of the uconn building.

the woman eyed the man momentarily, her brows furrowing before she realized she was apart of some sort of paparazzi. or press. or whatever it was—she didn't really know. not in the mood, she kept quiet, looking straight ahead and avoiding the bright light attached to his expensive looking camera.

not that she herself had been approached at all these last few weeks since the speculation around who madison was started, but everything she'd already seen online was enough to annoy her to no end. she didn't think paige was as popular as she was when she first met her. things really started to get out of hand when the season started.

"catherine sanchez, just one moment please." the man pleaded, catherine not budging.

the mention of her name made her head spin. this couldn't be real.

paige had already told the woman all the things that were happening in the media. not only the speculations on madison, but a few on her. who she was, what she was. catherine didn't think too deep into it, though. until now.

"is that paige bueckers child?"

"or is she yours?"

"who are you to paige bueckers?"

"there are speculations on you and paige being a couple—what are your thoughts on that?"

catherine rolled her eyes, staring intently at the big double doors that led her to the parking lot. home free, she thought. picking up the pace as much as she could with a child in her arms, she was almost at the door. her hand rested in madison's head from the moment they were approached, making sure she didn't face the man following them.

she was almost there, but the constant questioning and the man not getting any hints that she was uninterested were bothering her to no end. and the moment she felt his hand reach for her in attempt to get her attention, she lost it.

"catherine, pl-"

"don't touch me—what is wrong with you?" the brunette snapped loudly, her patience completely worn thin. turning to face the man, camera still shoved in between them to catch a glimpse of anything he could, catherine's tone caught him off guard.

"i have a crying child in my arms and you still found the nerve to come up and bother us, asking who she is—she is a child." the woman spat, annoyance clear in her voice to those near them, but only the man on the opposite side of the camera could see the terrifying glare she was giving him. "don't ever talk to me or her again."

and with that she stormed out, the hallway now empty besides a few people murmuring on the intense interaction. awkwardly and embarrassingly, the man turned his camera off, ending his live steam abruptly.

˚✧.*

catherine put madison to bed soon after they arrived to paige's home, having the girl brush her teeth before she read her a story off the top of her head to lull her to sleep.

quietly and slowly backing out of the girls room, catherine grabs hold of her door handle, pulling it closed ever so slowly.

"is she asleep?" paige asked out of nowhere, loudly, startling catherine and causing madison to stir in her first stage of sleep.

you'd think she'd learn by now.

"shh," catherine shushed the woman behind her obnoxiously, a hand coming to her chest in attempt to calm her fast beating heart. "fuck, you scared the shit out of me." she huffed through a whisper before closing madison's door completely.

"sorry," paige whispered while grimacing. "i got a ride with kk, i just got home."

sighing as she caught her breath from being so startled, catherine looks at paige, nodding. a few moments passed before she continued on as normal. "how's your nose?"

paige appreciated how her tone was nicer than earlier, wondering deeply what was making the woman so upset to the point where she took it out on her.

"good, good," paige nodded, hands finding themselves in her navy blue, uconn sweatpants pockets. "just a little bruised, that's all."

catherine's expression softened at this, head turning to the open bathroom door directly across the hallway from madison's room, her hand reaching in to turn on the light instinctively. the bathroom light illuminated the dark hallway, giving the woman a clearer view of paige's nose injury.

naturally, her hand came up to gently turn the woman's face towards the light. "ay," the brunette sighed, her fingers very lightly brushing against the bridge of paige's nose, noticing the faint purple ring forming on it. sure it'd be gone in the morning, paige just nodded.

"i'll live." the blonde assured at catherine's concerned face. this was the most one on one time she's spent with catherine in what felt like forever, but was actually just below three weeks. she wondered what changed, if catherine had become more busy or something.

maybe she found some new friends. why'd i encourage her to do that? the woman would think to herself. she liked always having catherine there. is that bad?

"hopefully," the brunette answered playfully. her light finger tips fell from the woman's nose, falling to her cheek before her entire hand found comfort in cupping it. she held her hand there for a fast moment, before giving paige a sweet smile.

for a moment, paige saw a glimpse of the catherine she knew. prompt, caring, sweet. the catherine she found herself loving to be around. the catherine she knew she could say almost anything to. the catherine she knew would always be there, no matter what.

paige felt the woman's touch leave her as soon as she got there, her skin itching for more of her. giving her a smile in response, she watched as catherine's demeanor changed. almost as if she coming back to real life, out of a dreamy state.

the blonde listened as catherine uncomfortably cleared her throat and how she subconsciously, or consciously, took a small step away from her. "i should, uh, head home."

paige frowned slightly at this. she watched as the brunette walked past her, the hallway still lit by the bathroom light. why was her best friend pulling away so much? so distant? so seemingly uninterested? she felt like all she did was wonder these days.

the blonde thought she could read catherine pretty well, but it was recent times like these that had her convinced she barely knew the woman.

"you sure?"

the question rolled off of her tongue before she could really think about it, turning towards the direction catherine was going, following after her. catherine was as surprised at her question as paige was. normally, the woman would just let her leave, never really questioning her.

"yeah?" catherine answered, both of them knowing she wasn't truly sure.

paige eyed the woman, something she did often, but something catherine seemingly could never get used to. "i, uh, saw your epic press take down." she continued the conversation, changing the subject entirely. maybe this could get her to stay.

catherine scoffed, almost forgetting that happened, before a small laugh escaped her lips. "he pissed me the fuck off." she explained, "he was asking me questions like i had met God."

the blonde laughed at this, "cant believe he knew your name."

shaking her head disappointingly, not allowing her laugh to escape again, catherine sighed, "freaked me the fuck out."

paige nodded, a smile on her face once again. she was getting somewhere, one step closer to breaking through whatever wall catherine was desperately trying to put up.

"so.. what're your plans for thanksgiving?"

catherine shrugged. she missed talking to paige, and it looked like her subconscious got the better of her, allowing her to talk to the woman like nothing was wrong. "not sure. might just watch christmas movies and decorate my apartment."

"on thanksgiving?" paige asked.

"mhm." catherine nodded, "technically, christmas starts november first."

"pfft, get outta here." paige shook her head, disagreeing completely. "i meant, what're you doing with your family."

the woman shrugged again at her question. "nothing, i think."

the blonde was shocked to hear this. not that catherine talked about her family a lot by any means, never indicating they were close, paige was still surprised they didn't plan anything together. "what?"

"yeah," catherine shrugged casually. "we haven't in years. usually my aunts the one to invite us." the woman explained, paige still looking confused. "i grew up jehovah's witnesses—my mom converted for my dad when she had me, then converted back to christianity when they broke up for good when i was like fifteen. but, we still never really celebrated anything like that even after." the woman rambled.

she wanted to face palm for that, the extra information completely unnecessary. and when paige's response was just a simple 'oh', it made her feel even more uncomfortable. this is why she needed to pull away.

paige responded before nodding, letting a few moments pass. luckily, she noticed catherine's expression change, watching her fall back that hole she'd been digging. quickly, she spoke in hopes to savor the moment. "w-well, maddie snd i are going up to montana to see my mom and my siblings.. you should come."

catherine definitely wasn't expecting that. "oh, no, i couldn't."

"you could." paige corrected. "azzi usually comes with, but she's gonna be with her family this year. so, you're more than welcome to—we have the room." she explained. "honestly, you'd be saving me the headache of dealing with my mom on my own."

catherine shook her head, desperately trying to push the woman away. "i don't know, p. that's a hard ask."

paige looked at catherine, eyes once full of hope now sad, "aight.. just a thought."

paige couldn't help but wonder what was wrong, and why things had changed.

she hated wondering.

chapter twelve: happy i met you.

as the buzzer sounded throughout the packed gym, paige felt the bodies of her teammates pushing against her as they all fell into a tight circle. they jumped and cheered in unison at their victorious win as they normally did, their chants matching the even louder ones from the student section.

a few moments passed before the blonde fell out of the group, searching for fresh air, a quick breather from the chaos.

however, that moment didn't last very long, the sounds of excited fans and cameras shuttering filled her senses, and she couldn't help the smile that appeared on her face. mixed with the calls of her name and their win, she was happy.

"paige—a moment, please?"

the blonde looked around for the voice of the woman speaking to her, finding a slighty shorter woman she had definitely spoken to before. a microphone rested comfortably in the older woman's hands and a cameraman followed her closely. sending her a nice smile, she nodded, "hi, lisa. sure."

lisa replicated paige's smile, sending her a fast nod, then another to her camera man as they began their live conversation. "i'm joined here with paige bueckers," the woman started, a few other introductory notes spoken before she began with her questioning. "paige, what changed defensively for you in that second half? you and the team had a huge turn around after halftime."

paige always hated when they would prompt the question first and then comment. a small thing she noticed a lot of reporters did, and it almost made her finding answers that much harder. "i think just being in the right headspace," she began, "y'know, coach came down hard on us, got us in check." she joked.

the interviewer continued on with a couple more questions about their amazing win, and was quick to ask paige what her and thousands of people wanted to know.

"paige, veering away from the game a bit—what would you say to those out there commenting on you lacking any mention of your daughter throughout your college career."

paige recognized the way she spoke fast, and how she made her question sound more complex than it was, her media training coming in handy. she knew it was meant to throw her off—she knew it was coming.

shrugging casually, paige kept the smile on her face that she had the whole time, kicking her lips before she spoke. "y'know, my daughters privacy and safety are a top priority," she started, "and, uh, for now, it's up to me to decide how much of her life, my life, our private life is shared with the media. of course until she's old enough to know better and make those decisions for herself."

"and, what are you thoughts on the viral video of your daughter and catherine sanchez leaving your game and catherine's comments to the press?" the reporter spoke, small laughs leaving her lips as she tried to lighten the thought of the situation. "lots of fans are wondering if you were aware."

paige smiles and a shrug falls off her shoulder. "i already dealt with the person who followed them, and have made it known since that that kind of behavior is unacceptable, will not go unnoticed, and will be dealt with properly."

"paige, what is the proper way to deal with that kind of behavior?"

a smirk falls on paige's lips as she shakes her head. "i think that's all the time i have for today."

lisa nods, knowing better than to push the limits. "thank you, paige."

"thank you, lisa."

catherine watched the interview from the small screen sitting in front of her couch, madison bouncing around the woman's living room. her cat, skittles, laid comfortably in the woman's lap, curled and purring as she tried to take a nap.

paige and catherine came to the collective decision that madison would stay home from a couple of paige's games. it made the woman sad to see her daughter not in the stands. she had gotten so used to seeing her little face, it was hard to focus or not become anxious with her absence.

madison had her own basketball practice this day, and was excited to find that catherine was picking her up, and that they would get to have a playdate at the woman's house today.

catherine had started to bring madison to her house more often. she found that by doing this, she'd have less of an interaction with paige at pick up. who needs to be friends with their bosses anyway?

the two of them had just finished the food catherine had made for dinner, and now madison was energized and ready to play. catherine, however, was too busy watching paige play. and now, she was even more enthralled watching her post game interview.

though it had nothing to do with the game, catherine seemed to be very interested in both paige and the reporter talking about her.

"cat." madison broke the woman out of her momentary focus, her timing perfect since the entire game had finally ended, the broadcast coming to a halt and the next game began to stream.

"maddie." catherine replied, mimicking the girls tone.

"is mom talking about us?" the small girl inquired about her mothers appearance on catherine's screen, noticing her absence.

catherine nods. "yes, she is. about that weird man the other day."

"he was weird."

"so weird." catherine agreed, nodding enthusiastically once more. she watched madison smile and let out small giggles at her playful tone, her eyes falling to find she spilled a small portion of her dinner onto her airport fit, which paige had picked out for her proudly. "you excited for montana? you get to see grandma."

"yeah!" madison exclaimed. "paigey says uncle drew might come up, too."

gasping dramatically, unbeknownst to madison, catherine continued, "he might?"

paige had already talked about her brother drew and how he'd be hanging with them for thanksgiving, so this wasn't news to the woman. madison spoke of the boy just as highly as paige did.

"yeah!" madison confirmed, "and i'll get to see uncle ryan and aunt lauren."

"oh my goodness!" the brunette spoke in her kid friendly voice, acting as if all of the information madison was throwing at her was too much to handle. this made madison giggle. "so many people to be thankful for."

"yeah, but mom and grandma will probably have us pray, like, ten times and say why we love each other."

catherine couldn't help but laugh at this as well, madison explaining paige almost perfectly.

as the woman's laughing died down, she heard a series of knocks vibrating against her front door. she stood swiftly, almost forgetting paige was on her way as she walked to the white painted entrance cautiously.

quickly peering into the peephole, catherine saw paige's slender figure waiting eagerly outside.

opening the door, paige looks up from the ground she stared at for what felt like forever, the chilly november air cutting at her skin through her track suit. "hey."

catherine gives her a shy smile. "hey," the woman started, pulling the door open more to sort of invite paige in, the cold air uncomfortable against her exposed legs, the heater in her apartment doing it no justice. stepping out of the way, she turned to face her living room. "maddie lets go, paigey's here."

"wait," paige stopped the two of them, stepping into catherine's apartment as she looked around, eyes falling on the kitchen and her nose immediately recognizing the smell of catherine's cooking. "oh, yes."

furrowing her brows, confusion played on catherine's face as she followed paige's gaze. her eyes too fell upon her slightly messy kitchen, the motivation to clean as she cooked slowly wallowing away, and the motivation to clean the rest of it up after never there to begin with. turning back to paige, she smiled. "hungry?"

the blonde caught catherine's eyes quickly, nodding with much enthusiasm. "very."

"so you do like my cooking?"

"was that not obvious?"

"you've never told me." the woman explained, to which paige only shrugged like it wasn't a big deal. "what about your flight?"

"it's not for a while," she explained, simply, hands stuck in the pockets of her track suit. if she couldn't stay for dinner, she'd at least like to have the conversation inside of the woman's warm apartment. and as if catherine could hear her thoughts, she was stepping away from the door, allowing paige to follow her in.

closing the door behind her, paige was so happy at the realization that she would be eating some real food. over the past week, since catherine's been having madison over at her place more often, paige found herself missing the woman's cooking. which was only an even bigger heartbreak than the one she felt when she realized she had been missing catherine in general.

"it's literally just beef stew." catherine warned as she rummaged through her organized cabinets for a bowl. though she had said that like it was a bad thing, paige was so excited. anything over the amount of noodles and company she has been indulging—or anything that wasn't azzi's cooking.

paige listened in to catherine's uncertainty as madison ran up to her, crouching down to hug the girl tightly.

pulling out a clean dish, catherine poured the blonde her food over some rice, turning to find her almost drooling. "sit down."

paige looked around to find catherine's small, sad, table. the two chairs had told her everything she needed to know. "sad ass table."

catherine scoffed as she walked over to where paige was sat, placing the hot bowl onto the dark, wooden table. "at least i have a table."

paige looked up with only her eyes from her seat, sending catherine a warning glare. "chill."

as catherine walked away, she decided to start cleaning up the mess that was her kitchen, knowing she wouldn't want to do it later. "hurry up and eat, i wanna go shower."

it was paige's turn to scoff, looking over the small table at where madison had chosen to sit to share looks with her. madison laughed at the two, she always loved their interactions. "relax, i'm not gonna take that long."

as catherine tidied up the remaining remnants of her dinner, paige and madison held a conversation over paige's food, catherine jumping in and out of it here and there.

"maddie, why don't you go help cat?"

"okay." the girl replied simply, agreeing and walking over to join catherine in the kitchen.

catherine gave the girl a small task to handle, looking over at paige with a smile. "how about paige comes and helps out, too?"

"uh," paige started, wanting nothing to do with that. "i'm still eating." she used as an excuse.

"the paige bueckers cleaning? never."

˚✧.*

madison found her way back to the table where paige was now eating her second bowl of food, the group carrying on a mindless conversation. well, it was mainly paige and catherine, as madison was too enthralled in the portrait she was drawing of catherine's cat.

the brunette sat comfortably on the edge of her countertop straight across from the infamous table, her dangling legs swinging involuntarily. the pair had been discussing paige and madison's trip, how nervous paige was to fly with a five year old, and how she was even more nervous yet excited to go see her family.

paige just finished explaining how she predicted this week would go, being alone with her mom—in the sense she would have no friends to bring with her for support.

"you're sure you can't come with?"

gasping from her spot, madison jumps at the idea, "that would be fun, cat!"

catherine just laughs at the girl, shaking her head, "maybe next time, mama."

looking over, catherine found paige's pleading face. "please?" she begged once more, but to no avail.

"you'll be okay." catherine spoke, comfortingly, though her words on paper would've came off sarcastic.

hopping off the countertop, catherine's feet landed against the cold tile, relishing the feeling of carpet against her soles the second she stepped out of the designated kitchen area. "i'm gonna go shower. can you lock the door behind you when you're done?"

she walked the mere two steps to her small dining table, approaching paige first as a comforting hand came to rest on her shoulder. paige looked up at the woman slightly, this being the only time their height difference was swapped. she gave her a smile, a look of appreciation and infatuation in her eyes.

"what?" catherine asked at paige's gaze, voice soft.

paige shrugged for the last time that night, a small head shake to follow. "just happy i met you."

catherine grinned, looking away from paige's eyes that had become more intimidating, or intimate, by the moment. "happy to know you, too, p."

her words didn't sound as genuine as they usually did, but paige knew she meant it. she was just hiding.

"you're both gonna have a great time, and a safe flight," catherine starts, making her way over to the opposite side of the table, where madison had been finishing up her drawing. she let an arm come around the girl as she pulled her into her side, a tight squeeze holding her in place as the girl let out giggles. "and i'm excited to hear all about it when you're back."

catherine shared her last happy wishes to the pair before she started down the small hallway to find her bathroom.

"wait, cat!" madison moved quickly, standing up and making her way over to the woman in mere seconds, her portrait in hand. "look at this drawing i made of skittles!"

˚✧.*

paige tried to slow her eating as much as possible, yearning to hang out with catherine more when she got out of the shower, but soon found she was cutting it close to the time they needed to arrive at the airport for montana.

as she gathered madison and her things up, she went to leave, but remembered catherine's small note about locking her front door.

the blonde was almost smiling at the thought of her not having a key to lock said door, knowing she'd have a good excuse to go bother catherine.

walking down the small hallway she was sort of familiar with, she recognized catherine's bathroom door from that halloween night.. and, of course, the sounds of the shower running behind it.

knocking on the plain, white door, paige cleared her throat loudly. "hey, uh, cat?"

"yeah?" catherine responded, calling out as loud as she could over the noise of water falling and the thick door that separated them.

"i don't have a key to lock your door."

a few moments passed before catherine replied once again. "that's okay, i'll get it when i'm out." she explained in reference to the shower.

paige frowned. the idea or leaving catherine alone in her sketchy apartment complex with her front door unlocked while she was in the shower was extremely unsettling to her.

"i don't wanna leave you here with your door unlocked."

getting no verbal response, but just the sound of the water shutting off and the shower curtains being ripped open dramatically, paige furrowed her brows.

a minute goes by before catherine's opening the bathroom door, causing paige to jump back and turn her attention else where. clearing her throat again, a hand came to rub against her forehead awkwardly.

it wasn't until she finally looked at catherine again that the awkwardness began to subside. wet hair that seemed to have been towel dried in mere seconds draped down the brunette's tan skin on her shoulders. her face was as natural as paige has ever seen it, freshly washed and soft looking. but what really got her was the small, light grey towel that was hugged to the woman's body.

it fell just a couple of inches past her butt, and started right above her boobs.

catherine just shook her head at paige sassily, walking down the small hallway and she spoke aloud. "maddie, close your eyes." madison did as told, feeling catherine's presence walk past her and to the front door.

the sound of the door opening was not enough to break paige from her thoughts that were all but holy.

paige could've sworn she had lost her balance for a second. if she were a cartoon, her eyes would go back and forget from dazed swirls to big red hearts. her breath was hitched in her throat and her mind became fuzzy as she gulped loudly.

the blonde already knew catherine was quite beautiful—she wasn't blind to beauty. however, she's never had such deep thoughts about it all at once.. at least while she was sober.

the thoughts her mind had began producing were ones she'd hope to think often, the feeling like a drug she would gladly become addicted to. thinking of catherine in a way that was purely sexual felt wrong and unprovoked, but she couldn't help the new sensation she would feel about it.

"paige, let's go. i'm cold."

that's what finally broke her from her deep thoughts, pushing herself off of her stance and scurrying to catherine's front door, where she stood uncomfortably with the door cracked open. as paige made her way over, she grabbed madison's hand and pulled her along, leaving catherine's apartment in embarrassed silence.

authors note!

hi.. don't kill me!

i know it's been like years but we all lived so it's okay! right?

i'm sorry if this felt rushed. and i definitely didn't proofread this thoroughly—i'm lacking motivation right now, but i promise when the plot gets thicker (and the tea is hotter) i'll get back in the groove of things.

anyway, here's part seven—what do we think what do we think?? please please tell me all of your thoughts, you know i love to read them!!

as always, don't forget, there are more frequent updates on my wattpad @uwupaige

thank you so much for reading 🩷

- mari 🫧

7.3k words.

#paige bueckers #paige buckets #paige bueckers edit #uconn wbb #wlw #lesbian #paige bueckers smut #paige bueckers x reader #paige bueckers x y/n #the nanny

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kavehater · 5 months ago

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You know the reason why this feels like such an annoying thing to me is because I’m sooo the opposite of family oriented it’s crazy LOL

I’ll never understand younger siblings whining about their older siblings moving away like I bet yall were nasty and annoying too like wow all those years and you claim to adore the older sibling and post oh woe is me the older sibling abandoned me … girl … the older sibling didn’t have a parental certificate or anything.

#like ever since I was a kid I detested kids with my whole being #and since I was a kid I just felt family dynamics and that sorta thing made me super uncomfortable? and it felt cringe like #I think this is the first time I ever speak of it but it feels so forced ? like cmon stop pretending we’re in it together when we’re not #it just feels fake idk and this was before everything went south too so this is just my honest feelings #it kinda annoys me when my family even more now than before given how horribly things turned out #insist I have to be close to them or near them but first of all I’m not an affectionate person nor do I like closeness of any type it kinda #irritates me a ton and I desperately need space (it’s their fault cause they made me like this ☠️)#I don’t understand why I have to be near them like girl it’s not that deep if I’m not #the world continues to go round #and it’s not even the fact that I do get mad when they show their ‘concern’ it’s the fact they’re the biggest fakers and liars #like ohh I’m so worried about you listen I may be stupid but I’m not that stupid #if you truly cared I’d see it in your actions and quite frankly telling me I’m the spawn of shaitan and implying you hope I get 🍇d or what #have you of the list of offences is not something I believe a concerned person would say to prove their concern #it’s why I loathe concern sometimes like idm it when it’s important but when they try to push onto me their povs etc it’s so infuriating #like kaveh is so real for getting angry when ppl do that cause man I just want to bite ppls head off sometimes LOL #anyways my kid hating era is kinda gone now surprising given how bad I used to hate them #but my pov on family relationships being cringe to me is still a big thing and dahlia said before that #it’s because I was probably never given the opportunity to feel loved or something I forgot 😭 but yeah although I’m sure as a young kid I #was ? I just kinda was a sociopath as a kid I’m ngl I did a complete 180 fr 😭👍#it makes me wonder like dang I seemed so quiet and good to the untrained eye but I was such a sociopath mentally (I say this as someone who #knows a bit about sociopathy and aspd but jfidkaks like dang that was a bad time. I’m glad I changed sm otherwise life would be #so difficult for me omg …#probably would’ve ended up in juvenile or something 😭 and that’s why everyone should be glad I’ve got patience cause if I didn’t and acted #out what I truly wanted well damn good luck babe ! as roan says ☠️👍)#dora Daily

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puppy-phum · 2 months ago

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Pit Babe Characters x Cartomancy ➣ Part 5: Winner & Dean

Jack of Clubs: Reckless and a little too sure of himself. Gets in trouble a lot because of his bad temper. Seven of Spades: A card of bad luck and loss. Making hasty decisions out of frustration.

for @pitbabeanniversary week 5 prompts: winner & dean

(more thoughts under the cut!)

disclaimer: i am not an expert in either cartomancy or tarot reading. i did a lot of research on these two sites to come up with these cards for the characters. some of the meanings associated with the cards are still only my own interpretation, so they might not be completely accurate.

when i started this series, i was sure of only two pairs and their colors: babe and charlie would be blue, and winner and dean would be red, just like the team colors. so here we are, the only pair to have only black suits for their cards, ironically depicted in blood red.

winner: i was a little disappointed that there isn't "the biggest asshole" card in the deck, but i guess it makes sense that each card has good and bad sides, just like us humans and our lives have good and bad in them. so, winner gets the "winner card" (i am endlessly amused by winner's nickname when he's such a loser (affectionate) in the series). he gets the card that always reaches for the first place, for the biggest prize.

jack of clubs is the card that approaches everything with great passion and enthusiasm. they have endless energy, so they often participate in some kind of competitive sport. they're confident, courageous, and charming. but they're also arrogant, quick tempered, shallow, and thoughtless. which i think summarizes winner perfectly bc he's almost always insufferable and hard to handle, has a loud mouth, and begs to get punched. also please for the love of god, someone take the gun away from him.

dean: obviously a spade which as a suit is often linked to challenges and obstacles as well as failures and losses. overall, i don't think dean is a bad guy; i know he's trying his best and cares for his pack. he's like a son to alan, and a little brother to north and sonic etc. he just has a lot of ambition and big dreams, and i understand his frustration when it seems that he will be kept from accomplishing anything. he wants to be a star, and it must suck to notice that your efforts don't matter. especially when someone like charlie takes your place from right under your nose seemingly without any effort.

the most fitting thing about the seven of spades for dean is the experience of lacking progress. dean isn't moving forward the way he wanted which eventually leads him into making bad choices and big mistakes. he accepts kenta's offer that dooms him, sets him up for failure and abandonment. i believe him when he says he never meant for charlie to actually die (which he doesn't but dean never gets to know that) bc dean is not evil. he's just a human who feels like he's been treated unfairly and no one seems to recognize that, no one else but tony. it's painful how such things can be so easily used. that's probably why his betrayal completely blindsides the rest of the pack, never realizing how deep dean's disappointment is.

as a pair, i find it most amusing that winner and dean ended up with a ton of parallels linked to the other pairs and their cards. they're a pair of jack and seven just like kenta and kim. winner even has the same suit, clubs, as kim which you can interpret in multiple ways (they're not the same person, but they somehow occupy a similar place in the story, yet approach it differently). meanwhile, dean has the same suit as charlie and they're only two numbers apart. interestingly enough, six of spades that falls between them, is the card of completion and healing. it's the card that represents a quiet, almost stale period in life after something big has happened. it promises better things in the future, but first you need to center yourself again.

none of these parallels were intentional, but i find it fitting that they happened anyway. i can't really see winner and dean as a proper pair bc they don't actually even meet much in the series, but they are tightly connected to the others and all the big events that transpire. maybe it's meant to be then that they connect to the others rather than to each other. they are puzzle pieces and without them, the picture wouldn't be completed.

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q1ngqve · 10 months ago

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Your aventio fic got me in a chokehold and now I'm frothing??? I'm being tormented by the same principal but with Jing Yuan and Dan Heng. Reader being the anxious babe that they are avoiding them at ALL costs outside nessasary things since they don't think that their pursuit is genuine (or that they're pretty or smart enough to be with them) Anti-stalking x 100. Like "hello??? The GENERAL and IMBIBITOR LUNE, interested in me??? Sounds fake af" but their also secretly down bad as well, and having bracelets corresponding to them at all times? A subtle marking of their claim over you by your own volition would probably stir something within them.

I'd think the general would enjoy the hunt while Dan Heng tries to not but can't help but be lured in by readers sweetness. A hidden archive dedicated to you is kept by Dan Heng and updated regularly, Jing Yuan sends his retainer to check up on you from time to time. And if they discover what the other is doing??? Would they team up? Mayhaps, and If so, good luck since you have a LION and a DRAGON, pursuing you. Isn't that perfect? But good luck, once your in their grasp you are not leaving untill the only thing you can remember is their names.

I'd find it even funnier if they got access to their fanfic reading list. For me that's sacred but for them it'd be a GOLD MINE, especially when it comes to readers kinks (praise kinks, marking??? Oral??? Oh~ breeding? Now thats jnteresting) WHAT ABOUT THE FANFICS WRITTEN BY XIANZHOU NATIVES??? BRUH READER HAVING SO MANY FEATURING THEM SAVED AND HAVE WRITTEN SOME THEMSELVES CONFIRMS THE FEELING ARE MUTUAL.

Waiting untill the perfect time, they pounce. Conveniently bumping into Dan Heng during the Lunar Festival celebrations and making small talk before the General bumps into the two before suggesting getting food to celebrate the new year's. Timidly excepting the rimvife dinner goes normally untill it doesn't. The restaurant is small yet not busy despite the festivities. (they call reader nicknames (darling) that were used in readers fanfic that make reader flush) (giving genuine praise and watching them flush. Eventually Dan Heng suggest staying at the attached inn due to how crowded it is Outside " oh no! There's only one room remaining! I guess wr have to share a room. How unfortunate." 🤔 and thus all three end up getting one conveniently large private suite.

Once the door is closed they Sandwich reader between the two as Jing Yuan and Dan Heng confess their feelings, trapping reader so they dont run away. When reader objects, Flustered and in disbelif Jing Yuan cant help but tease about their "little findings" while Dan Heng eyes the bracelets on their arms. Posessiebess blooming at the epiphany of the btacelets meanings as their vidyahara traits peak out. If the insecurities come out to? Then they'll have to make sure that reader (and their body) remembers their love by devouring them whole.

( Even better if those findings are used against reader. Awe is their darling shy? And theyre tryjng to muffle their moans and hide their face? Don't worry, those two make sure reader drowns in so such pleasure that it'll be the furthest thing from their prettty little mind)

If reader ends up cover in marks almost impossible to hide and unable to walk for days after and having to be carried out of the suite the next day? Then that's none of our business.

(Sorry if this is long, I'm frothing at the mouth and losing my mind. That aventio fic has rewired my brain in the best way possible and I need to get this out of my mind ajdbdhdindkdn)

✒️

hello anon…? you are so big brained and for what 🤭ྀིྀིྀིྀིྀི i had a good time gobbling this shit up

#this is a whole fic on its own 🤭#✒️ anon!!!!!#hsr #honkai star rail #jing yuan #dan heng #jing yuan x reader #dan heng x reader

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thesweetroro · 3 months ago

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Hiya! I just discovered your account and I'm so happy someone is making new content of this series (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥) So I don't know if you have been reading the manga but if you did could you write some headcanons of how would it be cuddling with Mei,Ido,Kojiro and Orochi? (If you don't know any of them do it with Samon,Honey,Tsukumo and Kenshiro)

Unfortunately i didn’t read the manga but i’ve seen those characters! and as soon as i could be able to read the manga i promise to tell you guys all 💗, but in the mean time i only can be able to do anime characters 🙂‍↕️.

And thanks for making a request + putting afford to care if i read the manga , i was gonna be so disappointed to turn you down.

𐙚 ˚🍥(cuddle buddy,pt.2!)｡˚ ᡣ𐭩

꩜ Requests 🩰 .ᐟ

── .✦ 🎠 Building (4+5+13+3)

── .✦🏷️ the inmates + guard

ꪆৎ

⋆｡🐩𖦹°🍥⭒˚｡⋆(kenshiro)

The puppy that he is , craving cuddles but as his ago denies!

He would be whimpering when he finally gets to have you in his office after being pent up all day and stressed out , just laying in his couch telling him how much you like his fancy old man smell.

Love and love to cup you and cover your up by his (Coat, cloak?) i don’t know you name it but you will get that peace of fabric around you.

His favourite thing to do when you slowly start to kiss him from one finger and end up kissing him underneath his eye gang.

I would say that man is ASMR lover so please go clean his ears and scratch his hanging hair.

More willing to cuddle when it’s the weekend it’s really REALLY hard to get that man out of bed or him letting go of you.

𐙚‧₊˚🐉✩ ₊˚🏯⊹♡(samon)

Good luck with trying to have him in one place,he loves you and your smell and your warmth but also,he can’t give up his work!! especially when no one can get the job done for him as he wishes for.

When you guy first started dating you would never leave each other arms and always cuddle and sleep together at one time both of you went out to some mall and he got you a big stuffed hello kitty .

Now when he became really busy he comes home or his office and sees you sleep or cuddle her,he regrets every walking muscle he used that day to get you her.

When he finally gets free and come cuddle you, he can see how upset you are when you look away and ignore him , but of course he knows how to make it up for you( whatever you like).

But after all you guys are cuddling back together and yapping about everything and tell you he misses you and how shity work as always and that he is SORRY.

His favourite thing in cuddle is to eat ice cream with you and get to be babied by you and lay on you and talk about how he would kick that stuffed kitty.

ꪆৎ

༘⋆📼˚ ༘ ೀ🎎⋆｡˚(tsukumo)

Sucker for cuddles or any affection from you , and since he needs alot of comfort that could help improve your relationship better! like when he feels comfortable he gets to open up and brake the personality.

Likes it even more when you’re on top of him with the prettiest thing to wear taking a little picture with his camera he got for you as a girl to get your memories together! looking so beautiful gorgeously delicious .

Would adore any and every thing you do and say to make him feel better in your arms and when someone else says something else he pull “but my wife said yes”.

Drive him crazy is the best part about it for him ,like slowly and gently take off his mask off of him and doing his skin care for him or try a trick or makeup.

And when you guys are almost asleep he talks about his behind the scenes stuff then both of.

. ݁₊ ⊹ 🍯. ݁˖ . 🎯݁༉‧₊˚.(Honey)

He doesn’t even try do denie it he loves being thrown in your arms in any change “ so i cut my finger accidentally while playing cards” “how did you?.-” “so you’re not gonna hug me and kiss me and tell me im gonna b alright?”.

A simple guy used to start his day by skincare routine and then just continue his day,but that was along time ago now he won’t even leave the bed just to hold you even more “no babe it’s cold,it’s winter, we will get sick”.

Everything you do is this guy’s favourite thing no matter what is it,but what about what he does? he likes having you oh him as he kisses you on your forehead and your neck then starts tweaking on your smell.

And plump on your back until you sleep.

ꪆৎ

hope you liked it 💋!.

#nanbaka #nanbaka fan #nanbaka jyugo #nanbaka uno #nanbaka x reader #nanbaka nico #nanbaka the numbers #nanba prison #yu nanba #nanbaka rock #nanbaka samon #nanbaka kenshiro

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imagineredwood · 8 months ago

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College assignments are stressing me out 😩 some hc’s for the mayan boys on helping their girl destress from exam season or anything similar?

Good luck babe!! It'll all be worth it in the end 💕

Angel/Coco goes more on the distraction route. He's never much liked academics, so as much as he may love you, he's not the type to sit and help you study. He does love helping you chill though. He'll take you out for dinner then ice cream. Take you with him for a ride with nowhere specific in mind, just letting you relax and enjoy the fresh air. He also definitely uses sex as a rewards for being so hard working and determined. He brings you to club parties even if you're tired and don't really feel like going, just so you can enjoy a night out and drink and dance and get your mind off the stress and demand from school.

EZ likes for you to be pampered. Books a couples massage. Pays for you to get a facial and your nails and toes done. He'll take you for nice romantic dinners. He just wants to do whatever he can to spend time with you and get your mind off the stress. He knows its for a good cause and it will all pay off in the end, but that doesn't mean he likes to see you worked up. He loves to help you study and that helps to take the edge off sometimes because he makes it fun and different, but he's the first to mandate breaks when he seems you need it.

Bishop hates seeing you stressed. He's always stressed, so he knows how it feels. Especially when its something that you can't just ignore, like the club or in your case school. He's more about doing whatever it is that you want. Where ever you want to eat, he's making reservations. You want to go to the beach? He finds the nicest one he can find. You want to spend the day out shopping? He's right there holding your bags. You just want to stay home and eat snacks and cuddle? He's got your favorite movie and treats at the ready. Whatever it takes to help you settle and calm down.

He spoils you like you wouldn't believe. Has offered more than four times to just bribe your teachers into letting you pass so you can not worry but you decline. Doesn't mean he won't ask a fifth. He spoils you like crazy. With each passed test or efficient study session, there's a gift. A ring, a necklace, a bouquet of roses, lingerie, a special painting. love notes, you name it. He's beyond proud of you and makes sure you know it. He books lavish vacations when you're on break, expensive restaurants after a big exam, massages after your shoulders stiff from studying. He'll do anything to make sure you feel that you are his pride and joy.

General taglist

@piccasoe @ateliefloresdaprimavera @gemini0410 @woahitslucyylu @my-rosegold-soul @that-chick212 @everyhowlmarksthedead @glimmerglittergirl @fanaticfangurl21 @encounterthepast @svintsandghosts @starrynite7114 @destynelseclipsa @queenbeered @iamthegraham @emoengelfurleben @otomefromtheheart @rosieposie0624 @papa-geralt-of-cirilla @beeroses @weirdosandhopelessromantics @kola95 @cruzwalters @myakai13 @mrsstevenbuchananstark @lyly00 @kaystacks17 @cole-winchester @alexxavicry @savagemickey03 @fanfic-n-tabulous @choochoo284 @xbloodyxangelx @carma-fanficaddict @gillysoldlady @choochoo284 @whitetxilwxlf @ravennaortiz @flowercrowns-goodvibes

Mayans MC taglist

@dazzledamazon @abunnykisses @briana-mishell24 @angelreyesgirl @wrcn9fvlcver @peaches009 @capt-canadian @thesandbeneathmytoes @krysiewithak @darklingveracruz @appropriate-writers-name @cind-in-real-life @blessedboo @montanaraed @kkim120 @megapeacelovemusic-blog @emoengelfurleben @blowmymbackout @abby-splace @kola95 @black-repunzel99 @redpoodlern @xonickibaby @myakai13 @cruzwalters @yosoynicolexo @mrsstevenbuchananstark @danimals1096 @po3ticb3auty @lyly00 @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @kaykaysuh @angel-121 @fanfic-n-tabulous @90sisthenew80s @lovelytricia @carma-fanficaddict

#mayans mc #miguel galindo #angel reyes #coco cruz #bishop losa #headcannons #headcanons #mayans fx

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grapejuicestyless · 9 months ago

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Good Luck, Babe!

Harry Styles x Fem!reader

Summery: Harry could run around the world in search of a replacement to fill the void that you left, but he’s better off coming to terms with the fact that he’d have to stop the world just to stop the feeling.

I’m okay knowing I won’t ever get to call my future lover my high school sweetheart. It’s hard to stay committed to someone for decades as an adult, let alone at sixteen. But it pulls at my heart strings just to know little me would be so devastated knowing the boy who used to string up fairy lights and scribble on big bubbles letters on poster boards for our prom decided I was too boring for his massive life and left once the glitter from all the glamour of fame got in his eyes.

It’s funny to think about, ten years thrown away forever because my stable life wasn’t worth living when he could offer me anything I could ever dream of. God forbid I want to settle down with some little ones to teach nothing but love in a world where everyone can only ever teach their children hate. God forbid I wanted that with him.

No, my dreams were stupid compared to those of his own. Children mean nothing to him if he’s not taking home another award for his excellence. Settling down is a laughable dream, how could I expect him to ever even try when it seemed like with every single chance to start trying he was at a new peak in his career.

When I left him, he didn’t even look sad. Not even when I turned to face him as I walked out of our front door with all my things stuffed in a bag slung over my arm. He looked distant, sure, but not sad and that made me sad, for me but mainly for him.

Three years ago if I had even shown signs of unhappiness he would have stopped the world to fix our issues, ironed it all out real nice to make sure that I never felt that feeling again. Now I could beg on my knees pleading for him to hear me and my cries would fall on deaf ears.

But I don’t regret leaving him in the end. It hurt at first, leaving behind all I ever knew, letting him go after I wasted away all my youth on him, but life goes on and my heart would heal the longer we were apart.

Occasionally he would reach out, letters with the same swooping letters that I recognized as his own handwriting, the same writing that once wrote me love letters, all addressed to me with the hopes of meeting up.

But I knew myself better than that, I knew Harry better than that. If I met him, even only for coffee our night would end with me back in his arms and his head between my legs. We weren’t ever meant to split, but then again no one who’s ever felt the same kind of love like young kids is ever made to walk away from something so sweet.

I was better for it, between each letter there was a new girl. A model who resembled me in the most vague ways. I wondered all the time if he ever accidentally called any of them my name. If he chose them with my eye color so when he looked into their eyes he could see mine for just a second. It felt like each week he was caught leaving some bar with some other girl, someone else’s lipstick staining his jaw.

I got over him slowly, never fully, but enough to love again. I had room to give once more and enough strength left to keep fighting for the love I deserved. I earned the right to be able to hold someone who would call me “baby” with pride, without the slightest hesitation or embarrassment.

Harry could kiss a hundred girls and boys in bars, drink away his twenties and sing to his fans across the world, and I would be here chasing my own dreams. After all, he always needed the spotlight, he lived for it. All I needed was a little love, and somehow in his search for glory, he lost any kind of that he had and I had found it again.

I saw Harry a couple years later, the small bar in Brooklyn with the good music and sweaty bodies. He looked good, he always did. His hair looked a little grey and I must admit, I almost drooled, but looks were the only attraction I would ever feel for him. Emotionally, I was cut off, even when he leaned up close and pressed me into a bone crushing hug.

With a cool smile on his face he asked me confidently what I was doing here and how I’d been. I told him a friend of a friend had invited me along to come celebrate an old friend’s birthday, that I didn’t really want to drink tonight and was just trying to enjoy myself.

I could see his hesitation when an arm slung itself over my shoulders, curly brown hair tickling my cheek and a kind smile flashing towards him and somehow in our conversation, I forgot the most important update in my life, one I’d make sure he’d never forget.

“Who’s this?” He asked kindly, ready to introduce himself even though we were all well aware everyone in the room knew him by name.

“Oh, Harry, how rude of me!” I laughed at the time, but I’m still not sure if he could hear it over the music. I hope he did, because it would have been the last time he would hear it.

“Harry, this is my girlfriend.”

#harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #yn x harry #harry x reader #harrystyles #harr

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enluv · 1 year ago

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008: THE CONCERT — THAT’S THE THING!

– genre: written content & smau! (after the first 3 slides stop to read then look at the end slides!)

– wc: 2.1k+!

– warnings: ANGST, mc & soobin talk about their failed relationship, insecurities, (feelings of) not being enough, needing time, being/feeling alone, infidelity, deception, please tell me if I missed something!

“If you keep biting at your lip it’ll bleed Y/N,” Sunwoo reminds you for the fourth time today.

“She’s just nervous about performing for the first time in a while, leave her alone,” Keeho swats at Sunwoo, leading him out the room so you can get dressed.

This concert is the very first one where you’d perform your newest album, all the songs that you’d held so close to your heart finally getting their own time to shine and be heard. However, that wasn’t the reason you were nervous, they knew why but tried their best to not mention it.

The real reason was currently sitting in the VIP section near the stage, fidgeting with his phone and bickering with Beomgyu.

“Babe, if you end this concert and decide you don’t want to talk to him anymore, just know I’ll do everything in my power to help you sneak out, or if you do want to talk to him still I’ll make sure Keeho and Sunwoo don’t ease drop. Either one is up to you, but seriously, we’re all here for you no matter what happens and no matter what you decide.” Yeji sends you a wide smile after finishing the last bit of your hair, she’d insisted on doing it to kick off the tour, ending her small speech.

“Thank you. I honestly appreciate you all for this, I know my past with Soobin is basically what got me here now but I just can’t go on and continue this way if I don’t get closure from him. I need to tell him how I feel and get that ending I deserve because if I don’t, I can’t see myself ever moving on seriously. No matter what he says to me today, I know it’ll bring me closure and I can finally have this weight lifted off my shoulders. I need to do this for me.”

Yeji nods smiling even wider, she’s waited for this for a long time, having known Soobin back when you were all friends, she always had an inkling there was more to his story but stayed true to you as a best friend, she only hopes now that she’s right and he can finally give you the closure you deserve.

“Alright this whole I love you and stuff is cute but they’re calling Y/N up and as her manager I need to walk her over there so I’m breaking this up, sorry Ji say bye to her for now.” Sunwoo’s voice breaks you two apart as he excitedly pulls at your hand, he’s probably the one most excited about tonight.

“Have a good show! I’ll see you up there later for our surprise! Good luck baby!” Yeji sends a kiss your way, quickly sitting herself in the chair to get ready for later.

“You’re gonna do so good kid! Have fun, don’t worry about anyone else! Only you tonight!” This one comes from Keeho who waits outside leaning against the doorframe, his only concern is about the boy you’ll be seeing tonight but he keeps it to himself.

Just before heading on stage, Sunwoo stops, never being one to be so vulnerable around others he takes the opportunity of just you two to turn and talk, “I’m really proud of you, and I know I don’t say that a lot, or like in a serious tone, but I really am proud of you. I know it’s been a mixture of ups and downs for you but it’s all gotten you here, and for those reasons you deserve it all, you deserve to be here performing and making people happy. I know you’re nervous because this is your first big show but trust me you’re going to do so good. No joke, I don’t think I have ever seen anyone more right to do what you do. Good luck and just remember that I am always here for you, if you need me just look to your right, I’ll be there for anything. I love you, go have fun out there.” And at that he pats your shoulder and ushers you on stage.

Soobin’s anxiety increases as he watches you finish off the last song. The crowd is too loud, the stadium’s lights are too bright, and the feeling he’s getting now is starting to settle at the pit of his stomach.

All day he’s rehearsed what he’d say to you once you finally gave him the chance to explain but all that is forgotten now. He’s left with nerves and fidgeting hands as he and the boys walk down the long hallway to get to the backstage area.

The first person he sees is Sunwoo and his heart begins to pound even harder. Soobin used to be good friends with the people you’d surrounded yourself with, having met through you but both Sunwoo and Keeho had taken a liking to him and quickly he’d become like a brother to the two boys. Of course that all changed when he’d broken your heart, and Sunwoo had never gotten past that.

Soobin sense his eyes on him, he knows he’s being watched even as Taehyun and Hueningkai go in to hug Sunwoo, his eyes never leave Soobin.

Before he can even speak up he’s cut off by another one of your friends, Yeji.

“Y/N is waiting in the dressing room, you can head there now. I think the rest of us should go get dinner started somewhere.” A whine falls from Sunwoo’s mouth but Yeji is quick to shut him up. She turns to the group of boys standing next to Soobin and nods her head in the other direction, they get the hint quickly and walk away, leaving Soobin alone.

The door to Y/N’s dressing room is slightly ajar, almost as if it’s already inviting Soobin to walk in, but he still knocks out of respect, mainly though because he’s too scared to open the door himself.

A small, “Come in,” sends his mind back ten steps, is he really ready to do this? Will you actually believe what he has to say? He can’t be sure of the outcome until he tries, so he takes that leap, and opens the door, walking through it straight to you.

As you sit in front of Soobin, his hands begin to pick at the skin around his nailbeds, they turn pink and red staining them as he digs deeper and deeper, you fight the urge to pull his hands away from one another, this is a habit he’s possessed for a long time.

“You did really great up there by the way, just wanted to make sure I told you that,” Soobin speaks first, his words are fast and flustered but sincere.

“Oh, wow thank you. I appreciate that.” You’re surprised to hear your voice sound so small, it’s never like this.

“I’m really nervous right now, do you want to go first or should I?” He’s picking at his nails again.

“You should go first. I think I’d like to hear what you have to say.”

The breath he’s holding in is finally let out and he nods at you, and then slowly he descends into what he told the boys just a few weeks earlier.

“When I told you that night after lowkey was released that I couldn’t give you a real relationship I think I meant it, but not because I wasn’t committed to you, more so because I knew I wanted to be able to provide for you, to be there when you needed me but in all honesty I couldn’t do that. I wasn’t happy with myself yet, I wasn’t taking care and consideration of my own person so I wasn’t confident that I would be able to do that for you. That was my own fault though, you always made me feel like I was enough Y/N but truthfully I could never believe in it because I didn’t believe in myself.”

He lets out a sigh and moves closer to you, placing his hand on your own, he wants you to face him, see him eye to eye.

“I loved you, I think a part of my actually still loves you. I know that night when we fought I lied to you, I told you I was seeing someone else, but that wasn’t true I only ever wanted you, I can prove it if you need me to, and I know I told you I wasn’t ready, that much was true but what I should have also said was that I wanted to grow and be ready for you. I should have told you that if you could just wait a bit longer, I would grow to be ready. I knew asking you to wait was horrible because you’d do it, and I couldn’t do that to you, I couldn’t hold you back. I needed to work and grow, but you’re kind and you loved me and I knew you’d wait. I’m ready now, I know it’s been a long time but I’m ready now, and I’m sorry I put you through so fucking much. You have every right to tell me no and to just leave me right now but I do thank you for giving me the time to explain myself. I love you sincerely.”

The look in his eyes is enough to tell you he’s telling the truth, and a small feeling runs through you at his touch. His fingers rub the back of your hand cautiously, gently soothing you as you prepare to speak up.

“I’ve hated you for a long time. Recently I learned though that it wasn’t hate I felt for you, it was longing. I longed to be part of your life, to be the girl you said you’d been seeing, to be the person you wanted. I longed to have you in my life the I had you in the past. I appreciate you being honest with me, I think after a while I’d accepted a lot of what you’d told me that night and I tried to move on but it always came back to me. We were stuck together like glue, always with one another twenty four seven, so when you said you’d had someone else it hurt so much, because I never saw a time when you could have snuck away and went to see them, and you’re telling me this now and it’s a bit of a relief but also I feel like I’ve wasted years hating a ghost. I’ll need time to heal from that. Insecurities are hard, I’ve been there Soobin, there are nights and days when I feel like my music is the worst thing in the world, where I’m sure no one is listening to it. I know how they can eat you up inside and I know they’re hard to push away, to unlearn them. I’m sorry you had to go through that alone, I wish I’d been able to help you but I understand that talking about insecurities makes them all more real to one so I know it must have been hard. I’m not saying that’s completely an excuse and everything is fixed now between us but I know that I understand you, and I understand why you did some of the things you did. I appreciate you sharing this with me, I’m sure it was hard. Thank you for trusting me. I love you still, I know that may be hard to believe given the songs I’ve written about you and the things I’ve said but it’s true, and I don’t think I can keep the feelings to myself anymore.”

The air surrounding you two feels lighter, it’s not as stuffy as when you’d both first sat down. It’s in a way, soothing.

“I think maybe we should start over, I’m not saying forget anything that happened because that helped us grow and it brought us here today but it’s been a while, we’ve grown, how about we get to know one another again?” Soobin suggestion hangs in the air as he waits for your response.

“I’d like that a lot,” a small smile beams on your face and up at him, “Wanna get dinner with me?”

“I’d love that.”

MASTERLIST / PREVIOUS / NEXT

coco’s ♡ note: this chapter was really sad for me to write because I love ttt soobin, i know i mess with him a LOT but he’s so adorable, he just wants his girl back 😭 anyways I hope you all enjoyed this! as always, feedback & reblogs are always appreciated!

TTT TAGLIST! - @jmin-s @stealanity @iijwon @invuwrld @igotkpoops @telesvng @whippedforbeomgyu @l0ve-joy @envirae @neozon3nha @meiiiwa @kangtaehyunfan029 @chaerybae @ch2won @cinnikoi @wccycc @run2seob @stariszn @haew0nz @neoculturewhat @hyuk4ngel @ddeonubaby @oulspvs @sullystraw @liliyaaaaas-library @rainbowszi - Want to be added? Send an ask or dm to be added to the taglist!

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lassoways · 1 year ago

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true blue

chapter one: say anything

word count: 3.5k

warnings: cursing, suggestive content at the end but no actual smut, reader and jamie are grumpy and need hugs

masterlist | series playlist

say anything - girl in red

“So, will I be seeing you at Sam’s party tonight after the game then?”

Keely asks, playing with a strand of your hair affectionately. The two of you are standing in the hallway outside of your office at Nelson Road. You lean against the wall beside you, giving her a noncommittal shrug.

“I don’t know. I was thinking of just staying in tonight.”

She frowns at this. “Oh, come on, babes! We have to support Sam’s new restaurant and besides,” she leans in and whispers as if she’s about to tell a salacious secret, “I was gonna invite a client of mine who is proper fit and I think you two would just hit it right off!”

You groan. “Oh, Keely, no! I told you no more match ups.”

You cringed at the thought of the last bloke she tried to set you up with. He cared more about your footballer brother than anything to do with you and the night eventually ended with you telling him to ‘fuck off and go date my brother if you love him so much’.

Keely’s frown deepens, puppy dog eyes staring straight into your soul. “Will you come if I don’t invite him?”

You sigh, looking down at your paperwork on the clipboard in your hands, chewing the inside of your cheek. You glance back over to her, those big puppy eyes still working their magic and you give her a weak smile. “Okay, fine.”

She squeals, pulling you into a hug and you smile into her shoulder. You pull away, about to make a comment about how you have nothing to wear to the party tonight, but you’re interrupted by an annoying voice emerging from behind.

“Good morning, Keely!” Jamie Tartt strolls down the hallway, a sports bag slung over his shoulder. He pauses in front of the two of you, giving Keely a cheeky grin before turning to you with a less than enthusiastic face and a curt nod, muttering your name as a greeting. You grunt in response.

You’ve known Jamie ever since you started as AFC Richmond’s physiotherapist just a few months before he left for Man City, and you have never gotten along since - though your dislike for him goes even further back than that. Jamie and your brother have a rather public and long-going distaste for each other, and as a loyal sister, you have a distaste for anybody that is a prick to your family. And so, you and Jamie are constantly at each other’s necks, doing whatever to get under the other’s skin.

“Hi, Jamie!” Keely greets, chipper as ever.

You resist the urge to roll your eyes, and instead look him up and down, keying in on his regular clothes and bag. “Are you just now getting here? It’s a game day.”

He scoffs, holding his hands up. “Chill. The star player just needed a couple more minutes of beauty sleep, is all.”

You feign confusion, “But Zava’s already here, and he looks plenty rested.”

Keely jumps to change the subject. “Jamie, you know my client, the one who runs that sock company! Don’t you think they'd hit it off?” She motioned towards you and you mentally curse at her.

He looks you up and down and you start to scowl at the smirk taking form on his face. You already know he’s going to say something stupid. He looks at Keely and shakes his head, looking so smug. “Nah, I don’t think he’s into nagging know-it-alls.”

Keely jumps between you two before you can open your mouth to fight back. “Okay, Jamie, good luck today! Bye!”

She turns to face you as Jamie walks away. “I take it you two still hate each other?”

She started her own PR firm recently and hasn’t been around the office much. She hoped the two of you would have magically worked through this shit by now, but that clearly wasn’t the case. She knew Jamie had grown so much lately, but for some reason, he was still the same old prick to you.

You scoff. “I’m a professional, Keely. I don’t hate any of my patients.”

She gives a knowing look. You feel like you’re being scolded or something.

“He’s gotten so much better lately, though.” Keely reasons.

You hum, uninterested. “I’ve yet to see all these ‘improvements’ everyone speaks of.”

“Come on, just give him a chance. You two might surprise each other.” She sighs, giving you a squeeze on the shoulder. “I should go meet Rebecca upstairs. We’ll see you after the game, yeah?”

You give her a reassuring smile before returning to your office. Game days meant you had to be ready at the drop of a hat in case an injury happened on the pitch. Putting your headphones in, you focused on getting all of your supplies in order for the big day.

It was no surprise that Richmond won. With Zava joining Richmond as their true knight in shining armour, the team had been victorious once again, continuing their win streak. And while you were very pleased for your team, especially since nobody came out of the game with any serious injuries, you knew this meant there was no way you could bail on the party tonight. With everybody in the mood to celebrate, it would be impossible to stay under the radar and not attend, not if Keely had anything to say about it.

So that’s why you were at Ola’s, nursing your second glass of champagne in a black slip dress that felt all too uncomfortable compared to the sweatpants you wish you were in on your couch. Keely and Rebecca babbled on next to you about one of Keely’s recent photo shoots for a client of hers, and you offered a chuckle or a gasp when necessary, otherwise remaining silent beside your friends.

“Alright, that’s it.” Rebecca sat her drink down, pointing a beautifully manicured finger at you, “What on earth has gotten into you lately? You’ve been loafing around for weeks.”

“I have not been loafing,” You had definitely been loafing. “I’ve just been feeling… a little uninspired with life lately, I suppose.”

“That break up really got to you, eh?” Keely inquires, a sympathetic smile on her face. You shake your head.

“No, it’s not that.” You pause, looking down at your drink. “Okay, maybe a little. It’s not like we were together long or anything, but now I’m just in such a funk and I can’t get out of it.”

Rebecca nods, “I totally understand. But that guy was a twat, and you, my dear, are a bad bitch.” She turns to Keely with a sly grin. “Keely, do you know the best way to get out of a funk?”

Your two friends turn to you after sharing a glance, suspicious gleams in their eyes. Keely wiggles her eyebrows as she declares, “The best way to get out of a funk is to have absolutely mind-blowing sex!”

You snicker. “Eh, I think I’m going to take a break from dating for a little bit.”

Rebecca laughs, grabbing your hand from across the table. “My dear, you don’t need to be dating to have mind-blowing sex.”

You roll your eyes, standing from the table and out of Rebecca’s grasp. “I know, I know. I’m going to get another drink, I need a break from you filthy lot.” You chuckle to yourself as they gasp, but escape to the bar before they can argue with you.

With a fresh drink in hand, you glanced around the restaurant. The entire team and their friends were scattered throughout the restaurant, the sounds of laughter filling the area. Your brother sat in a booth adjacent to you, and when you met eyes with him, he raised his glass to you with a smile (well, as much of a smile as Roy Kent can give). You raise your glass back before taking a large swig of your drink. Turning, your gaze fell on a table off in the corner, with a miserable looking Jamie Tartt sitting by himself.

You sauntered over. If anything could make you feel better, giving Jamie some shit would certainly do it. When you sit beside him, he barely looks up from his plate, too busy scooting around a piece of meat with his fork.

“It’s not polite to play with your food.” You tease.

He pauses before dropping his fork with a loud clatter against the plate. “Piss off.”

You reach over to poke at his grumpy face and he swats you away. You frown. “Didn’t you guys just win? Shouldn’t you be happy?”

Jamie shakes his head, leaning back into his chair with an exasperated sigh. His eyes narrowed, looking past you. “Not much to be happy about right now, eh? I ain’t done nothin’ to help ‘em win.”

You followed his gaze and your mouth made an ‘o’ when you saw the target of Jamie’s glares. Zava, Richmond’s new star player, had undeniably been stealing Jamie’s thunder since he joined the team and was largely responsible for Richmond’s uptick in victories. You know Jamie was jealous of this, you’d heard your brother mention it here and there, but you had no idea it was getting to Jamie this badly.

You turned to face Jamie, still slumped in his seat. On a normal day, you would have helped dig him deeper into this hole with a snide comment or two about how much better Zava was than him, but as you watched him sit there looking so sad, so pathetic, so absolutely miserable, your best friend's words rang in your ears. Just give him a chance.

You took another big sip of your drink. Liquid courage. You sigh. “You’re a great footballer, Jamie. I think you can be better than him. And besides, he’s a moron.”

His eyes softened, staring at you in disbelief. Maybe the alcohol was tricking your brain, but you could have sworn there was a slight blush creeping onto his cheeks. He started to grin, “Wow, two Kent siblings nice to me in one night? ‘M I being punked right now?”

You reach over and hit his shoulder. It wasn’t hard by any means, but he still rubs at the spot with a feigned hurt. “What did Roy say?”

“He offered to train me.” He sits a little straighter in his chair. You could tell he was trying to hide his smile.

You gasp, “Is hell freezing over?”

He lets out a laugh, probably the first genuine laugh he’s had all day. It makes you smile. “That’s what I’m saying!” He exclaims.

The two of you stay like that for a while. Off at the corner table in what felt like your own little world, joking about your sour puss of a brother, or how much of a self-righteous twat Zava is. You felt a pang in your chest as you began to realize that Keely was right, maybe Jamie really has changed. For the better. And you were just constantly tearing him down, never giving him a real chance to show you he was different now.

Jamie noticed your face falter, his eyebrows scrunching in concern. “You okay? You look like someone just pissed in ‘ya wheaties all ‘a sudden.”

You shake your head, taking the final sip of your drink and setting the glass down. “No, no. I just.. I think I'm gonna head home. I’m pretty tired.”

“Do you like ice cream?”

His question catches you off guard and you think it must be the beginning of a bad joke or something. You search his face, but when you don’t see any signs of humour, you realize he’s serious.

“I love ice cream.”

“Me too, and your cunt of a brother says my diet starts tonight but what he doesn’t know won’t kill ‘em, right? ‘Cuz I am absolutely craving ice cream right now.” He’s still looking at you intently. You feel like it’s starting to get too hot in the restaurant.

You nod.

“So what I'm thinkin’ is we go grab some ice cream at that shop around the corner and then I can walk you home.”

He says it so matter of fact, like it wasn’t a big deal at all. Like the two of you have been friends all along. You smile, “You don’t have to walk me home.”

Jamie waves you off. “Nah, it’s on me way so there’s no reason for me not to.”

“How do you know where I live?”

He laughs. “Don’t act all panicked or nothin’, I just remember havin’ to pick up Keely from your place one time, is all.”

Your eyes narrow. “Sure, Jamie. But if you’re gonna murder me, the least you can do is buy my ice cream first.”

He stands, looking down at you. “I was already planning on doin’ that, love.”

You ignore the way that pet name makes you feel, the way it spreads heat all through your body. The champagne was definitely getting to you. You stand too, tilting your head up at him with a sly smile. “Oh, you’re pannin’ on murdering me?”

He shoves at you playfully and you shove back. “Meet me out front. I gotta go say bye to Sam.” He says.

You nod, going your separate ways in the restaurant. You walk up to Roy and give him a hug, telling him no, you don’t need him to walk you home and yes, you will let him know when you get home safe. After quick hugs and kisses with Keely and Rebecca, you were standing outside Ola’s and beginning to feel incredibly stupid as you waited for Jamie.

Were you really about to go get ice cream with Jamie fucking Tartt? Were you trying to pretend you were suddenly best of friends or some shit, when just this morning you despised him? Looking around, you wondered how bad it would be to just start walking home without him.

“‘M so fuckin’ excited for some ice cream.”

He shoots you a wide grin as he walks out of the restaurant, starting off towards the ice cream shop. When he realizes you aren’t walking with him, he spins on his heel, lips pursed. “You comin’?”

You shake yourself from your thoughts, moving fast to catch up with him. “Y-yeah, I’m comin!”

As he said he would, Jamie pays for your ice cream. He gets two scoops of rocky road, his favorite he says, and he calls you “diabolical” when you pick mint chocolate chip. You walk in step with him towards your apartment, enjoying your dessert and to your surprise, the company. It was amazing how well you got on with Jamie when you weren’t busy pissing eachother off. The whole thing still gave you a nasty feeling in the pit of your stomach and you knew you had to apologize for your shitty behavior.

After a while, your conversation enters a lull but you feel comfortable in the silence, happily eating away at your ice cream. He draws your attention back with the clearing of his throat, and you can feel his eyes on you. “Er, can I ask you somethin’?” He asks.

“Sure, what’s up?”

You can tell whatever he’s about to ask, he’s thinking of the best way to say it, chewing on the inside of his lip for a moment. “What’s had ‘ya feelin’ so down lately?”

It catches you off guard and it must have shown on your face. He continues, “Oh, c’mon. Everyone has been noticin’ how down in the dumps ‘ye are.”

You sigh and take a bite of ice cream. “I suppose I just haven’t been feeling like myself these days. It’s just a funk, I’ll get out of it.”

“It’s ‘cuz of your break-up, yeah?”

You snap your head towards him. “How do you know about that?”

Jamie scratches the back of his head sheepishly, “I overheard Roy and Keely talkin’ about it the other day - about how he was an asshole to ‘ya.”

You couldn’t disagree. Your ex might be the biggest asshole you know, and that’s saying a lot coming from someone related to Roy Kent. Nodding, you say, “He was an asshole.”

He hums in agreement, not pressing you any further, taking another bite of his dessert. The two of you are silent again until you finally speak up. “I guess, yeah, I have been a bit sad lately.” You stop walking, gathering your thoughts and he stops too, turning to face you. “I’m not so much sad that we broke up because everyone’s right, he was an asshole, but he was so good at making me feel like shit and now I don’t know how…” you pause. “I don’t know how to not feel like shit anymore. And that makes me sad.”

Finally getting that off your chest feels nice, and your amazed at how much better you feel just telling someone, anyone, even Jamie fucking Tartt. His gaze is soft and you can tell he feels bad for you. You look away. You can feel your body folding in on itself, arms crossing your chest.

“You know, someone told me once that the only thing worse than being sad is being sad and alone.” Jamie says, and you peel your eyes off your shoes to look back up at him. “And I guess I just wanna say that ‘ya not alone, ‘ya get what I mean? You have Roy, and Keely, and Rebecca, and uh.. I’m here too.”

You smile, beginning to walk again. You reach over, giving his shoulder a light push. “You know what, Jamie? You’re not so bad.”

“Oh, why thank you!” He flashes you a big, cheeky grin as he pops you on the nose. “I actually pride meself on being the ‘not so bad’-est.”

When you reach your front door, you turn to face him, swallowing hard as you go over the apology you had been writing in your head the whole walk home. He beats you to speak though, nervously scratching the back of his head.

“Listen, I, uh, I wanted to say I’m sorry for being such a prick to ‘ya. I’ve been trying so hard to be a better person lately but I dug meself in such a deep hole with you that I didn’t know what to even do, so I just kept bein’ an asshole and it was shitty and you don’t deserve that and-”

“Jamie,” you try to interrupt him but he doesn’t let you, continuing his rambles.

“And I didn’t mean what I said this mornin’ neither. You’re not naggy or a know-it-all. You’re smart and good at your job and-”

“Jamie,” you say again, louder. You step closer to get his attention, grabbing him by the sleeve on his wrist. You can smell his cologne, cedarwood and citrus. “I’m sorry, too. I’m always a dick to you, I never even gave you a chance to show me you’ve changed. And you have, by the way. You’ve changed.”

His eyes soften. You can see on his face he’s relieved, happy that you’ve acknowledged how hard he’s worked to be a different person, a better person. He speaks quietly, just barely above a whisper and you wouldn’t have been able to hear him if he wasn’t so close to you right now. “Thank you.”

The two of you stay like that for a moment too long, eyes boring into each other. You’ve always known he was handsome, but right now on your doorstep, the moonlight shining on him, he was breathtaking. You hadn’t realized he took a step closer until you could feel his breath on your face, the smell of his cologne becoming even stronger. You watched his gaze go to your lips for a split second before looking back into your eyes and you knew right then you were fucked.

In an instant, you close the gap between you two. He wastes no time kissing you back, his hands grabbing your waist, yours wrapping around his neck. The kiss doesn’t last nearly as long as it should, and you don’t miss the small noise he makes when you pull away, your hands pushing gently on his chest. “I’m-i’m sorry. I shouldn’t have-”

Jamie cups your face, forcing you to look up at him. “No more apologies, yeah?.”

And his lips were on yours once again. This time your hands were scrambling all over each other, desperate to touch as much as you can. His hands are everywhere, the nape of your neck, your hips, sliding down to cup your ass through the fabric of your dress. When you gasp, his tongue enters your mouth and you’re overwhelmed by the taste of him, the smell of him, the feeling of him.

One hand reaches up to the hair at the back of his head, giving it a soft tug. You can’t help but smile against his lips at the moan he lets out, and he responds by pushing you up against your door, his lips moving to your cheek, your jaw, your neck, peppering kisses everywhere he can reach until he’s kissing your lips once more. You break from the kiss, just barely, and through heavy breaths you ask, “Do you want to come inside?”

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt #jamie tartt fic #ted lasso #roy kent

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